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centeris2 · 1 year

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A reminder that those SSO horse candles will exist, hopefully for a limited run because of how much they are being slammed. It’s not going away until those candles physically exist and are for sale.

Originally an April Fools joke or not, their “expert panel” are real horsey instagramers who no doubt cost a LOT (businesswomen, international/olympic level riders, tv personalities, they’re not SSE or SSO connected doing it for free like Elli and Helena). And they’re posting about it, possibly because it’s a product/promotional deal they will get a cut of. I’m not tracking their instagram stories, but so far at least one video post has gone up. Given SSO didn’t give an end date for picture submissions or when the candles will be released I expect the other two will post about it when there are more details. God only knows how much those three women cost SSE (and how many comics or novels that could have paid for instead).

Be vocal, complain to SSE and to their Support inbox, and directly call out their Marketing team for coming up with schemes like the candles. Their marketing department either doesn’t care or is really just THAT out of touch with what the fanbase wants. Think #ReclaimHorsegirl (oops we meant Ride With Us haha we bite people we’re so quirky!), or JoJo Siwa (love her but that was a flop in terms of helping the game in any way), or that time they made Star Stable Stories (remember that fever dream that looked like a scam??), or the numerous times they didn’t credit Elli on comic posts. Those were all Marketing.

#sso #don't mind me I'm talking #and not knocking those three ladies I'm sure they're lovely but they're 100% getting paid #which they should be but like #that is not a good look SSE after what happened #you ever watch a train wreck in slow motion except you're standing in a crowd #but you're one of the few people in the crowd who knows was some of the stuff INSIDE the train is?#so you're just bracing for how bad the wreck is actually going to be once people realize just how HOW ridiculous and bad it is #once everything comes out if it does come out #but in the meantime you're just watching the train with the rest of the crowd barreling toward disaster #that's how I feel #that's how I've felt for a while but I keep learning more and more about the contents of the train #and just going 'ooooo that's uh. oh boy. oh dear. can't wait for everyone else to find out about this.'

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a-fools-errand · 1 year

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New fic idea? With no title yet? And I don’t really have a summary just yet, but basically it’s a voltron The Forest au (bc ive been playing way too much of that game). Think a bit like the tv show Lost? Or The Wilds? But with more comedy and it’s also pretty close to crack treated seriously, featuring Keith having to be the leader of a ragtag group of survivors as everyone slowly becomes more crazy than even he is. And Lance being a badass, and everyone being a badass really. Anyway, let me know if you think it’s interesting enough to post on ao3??

Also! I should note, Keith and Lance are strangers in this fic and I, for one, firmly believe that Lance would flirt with anything with legs if it wasn't for the fact that Keith and him were rivals in canon.

CW: A plane crash, minor injuries including bruising and a bit of blood, and a dead body

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Keith’s head was ringing something fierce as he came back to a slow consciousness. God, maybe this was why he never slept on planes if this was the apparent outcome. He blinked out the stubborn weariness from his eyes. The sound -the real sound- slowly welled back up, birds chirping distantly.

…Wait, birds? Why would he be hearing birds on a plane-?

And that’s when he saw it. Over the tops of the shitty main cabin seats in front of him, between the useless dangling oxygen masks, there was a forest.

Not like out the window or like some fake painted on trees to make it not seem like they weren’t in a metal tube flying high in the sky. There was an actual forest filled with actual trees a good few rows in front of him, all framed by the broken-in-half plane.

Ok, no, maybe he did sleep on planes because that absolutely wasn’t real. Not a chance in hell. Keith sat up to try and find more evidence that this was clearly just a stress dream, only to cry out in abrupt stabbing pain from his midsection. He looked down, wincing as he pulled out his shirt slightly. He was met with his own skin painted with a mirage of angry purples and blues around the edges of where the thick seatbelt still held him in place.

A bruise. He had a bruise all along his lower stomach. Which would make sense to have if the seatbelt stopped him from going forward extremely abruptly. Like, let’s say, in the event of a plane going from some super fast speed that Shiro would know to an absolute and utter zero. And that only happened when…

In a second of what he would later convince himself was momentary hysteria, all he could think was, damn, looks like we aren’t making it to the connecting terminal on time.

He then much more rationally jolted forward in his seat again (and was greeted with the same sparking pain) at the fact that the plane had fucking crashed. What the fuck? What the FUCK?!

As quick as lightning, Keith undid the stupid seatbelt and turned to Shiro beside him. The man was still out like a light, but breathing, thank fuck. He checked diligently for anything seriously wrong (shrapnel, lacerations, currently bleeding anything- oh god, oh fuck? What was happening?).

Somewhere near Shiro’s hair and all across his nose area was covered in dried blood, a bruise forming around the former. That definitely meant a concussion, right? Keith wasn’t a doctor, he had no idea how to check that. The blood seemed to be slowing to a crawl, which was probably good.

There wasn’t anything majorly wrong on his body so it seemed. Or at least, there wasn’t anything wrong that wasn’t already wrong. His arm was missing, which sounded terrible until it was taken into account that it was his already amputated arm… From a plane crash… A different plane crash… Oh, Shiro was going to be so pissed when he woke up. Who gets into two plane crashes??

A groan coming from directly behind him derailed that train of thought. Keith whipped around to look at the source of the noise (much to his strongly protesting body). A tanned, narrow-faced guy somewhere around Keith’s own age was slowly blinking his way into consciousness just like Keith had. His face was full of freckles and what looked like only a few slight bruises from where Keith could see. Overall, the other… survivor looked to be in about as good a shape as Keith was.

Jesus, just the thought of saying ‘survivor’ was not really sinking in. They had survived a fucking plane crash. That wasn’t a thing that just happened, much less twice in Shiro’s case. He even joked that he was flying with Shiro because lightning never struck the same spot twice. Evidently, it fucking did. Maybe he shouldn’t have tempted the universe like that…

“Mullet?”

Keith refocused on the guy now staring at him, scoffing at the incredibly slurred and equally confused ‘nickname’.

“Are you… dying or whatever?” Keith asked.

The guy tilted his head, his face scrunching up at the question until he refocused on the mask sitting securely on his nose. He yanked it off as careful as a band-aid, watching it strangely as it bounced back up toward the ceiling.

The guy turned back to Keith, a silent question in his eyes. It seemed to answer itself though, as the stranger’s widening eyes filled with the soft sunlight trickling in over Keith’s shoulder.

“Ho-ly crow,” The other survivor shook himself like that’d get him to wake up. Keith understood the feeling.

“I… I think the plane went down,” Keith winced at his own statement. Obviously the fucking plane went down. No plane landed fine with only half of it left, especially not just the back half.

“Looks like it,” The guy replied hollowly before his face filled with alarm, “Oh my god! Hunk! Pidge!”

Blue Shirt (he really needed to learn this guy's name, but that would have to do for now) turned to his oddly named friends. Which was Hunk and which one was Pidge, Keith had no idea. They seemed to be like Shiro, alive but not quite up yet, if the sigh of relief Blue Shirt let out said anything.

The guy turned back to Keith with a lot more awareness, “What happened??”

“Like I said, the plane-”

“No, no, I don’t need the obvious! Clearly!” The guy frantically gestured over the seats, “I meant like, how are we even, you know?”

“Alive?” Keith finished, “I don’t have a damn clue.”

“And what about everyone else?” Blue Shirt asked.

Keith tilted his head.

“Like, the other people. There was a- a cute, little elderly couple right over there,” Blue Shirt pointed across the aisle, “Where did they go? Where did everyone else go?”

Probably thrown from the plane, Keith’s mind darkly supplied. He didn’t, however, want to come off as a complete freak to the only other survivor awake right now.

“Maybe they already got out?” Keith tried (and failed) to sound optimistic.

The guy frowned, seemingly trying to process that, “...Right. Okay. And they probably just left us because… because… Because! They didn’t know how injured we were, and that’s, like, a rule! Totally! You don’t move the injured people because their spines could be damaged and everything! Trust me, I’ve watched all of Grey’s Anatomy, even the truly bad seasons.”

Very trust-inducing, Keith didn’t voice. He nodded tentatively despite that thought.

Blue shirt stood- oh goddamnit, this was getting annoying, “Hey, what’s your name?”

“Hm?” The guy stretched out in the aisleway, pain evident in his face, “Oh, um, right. The name’s Lance, but you can call me the man of your dreams.”

“W- what?” Keith definitely didn’t squeak that out. Also his face definitely didn’t go tomato red. Also his heart didn’t feel like it just had a palpitation. Also- You know what, shut the fuck up. How was he supposed to react to that?? Who realized they were in a plane crash and immediately f- flirts with the only other awake survivor???

Lance (the man of Keith’s apparent dreams, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the-) grimaced in what looked like sincere apology, “Sorry, sorry, not the place. I think my head’s a bit, uh, scrambled, you know? From all this? Anyway, what’s your name, Mullet Man?”

“...Keith,” He dragged out of his mouth (stop fucking staring at the pretty guy who just trauma-flirted with you), “And it’s not a mullet.”

Lance put a hand on his hips, or tried to. He winced at the touch and let it drop, “Puh-lease. I spotted that thing the moment you walked on the plane. Shorter in the front?”

“I guess,” Keith answered tersely.

“And longer in the back?” Lance raised an eyebrow.

“Yes?”

“Ha! See, that’s literally the definition of a mullet: business in the front party in the-” Lance abruptly choked on the air, hand going to cover his mouth as his eyes went wide as saucers. He stumbled backwards, grabbing on to the flimsy blue seats to stop himself from falling completely, “O- oh my god.”

Keith stood ready to catch Lance, expecting to see him losing blood or something, “What’s wrong?”

With a face three shades paler, Lance pointed over Keith’s shoulder. Was… was he just now processing their wrecked plane? Even after they talked about it? Nevermind. Trauma was weird sometimes. That was what his old therapist used to say at least. Maybe it was still settling and that’s why Lance kept going on weird, unnecessarily long tangents?

“The plane crashed,” Keith repeated slowly like he was talking to a spooked deer, “Are you hurt or-?”

“N- no, Keith, look,” Lance demanded, voice shaking.

Keith turned in confusion to follow Lance’s eyes only to be meet with-

Oh.

A woman -one of the stewardesses, Keith assumed by the neatly pressed uniform- laid dead-eyed in front of them. Her limbs were sprawled out, her head haloed by the bent edges of where the broken plane met the open air. Grimly, Keith thought that that made sense. Of course not everyone would survive a goddamn plane crash.

But then he noticed what killed her. It wasn't being tossed by the aggressive turbulence, nor was it the excess metal shrapnel from around the edge of their halved plane, no.

Glimmering there in all the glory of the midday sun was a bloodied axe buried squarely in the middle of her chest.

#voltron fic #the forest au #klance fanfiction #fanfic #keith voltron #lance voltron #shiro voltron #hunk voltron #pidge voltron #allura voltron #coran voltron #those two will eventually be in it #leader Keith #and everyone else is a little bit crazy #where are all the other survivors?#whats going on?#read and find out ooooo!#klance

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maiamars · 1 year

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himbo adam is like : hey hi mister ? i'm kinda lost. i don't know if it's because of that strange stone or whatever, but here i am and you seems to know the place so, maybe we could help each other out to get out of this place (see a chitauri) ohh, you are kinda cute (pet the chitauri)

thanos after putting soup in adam's hands and showing him the soul stone world : what a fucking golden idiot he is (proceed to save his ass a dozen of times)

#adam after coming back ; what do you mean he erased half the universes population #ooooo he is going to give rocket gray hair from stress #the lies the disappointment the anger #my villain origin story #if done right #adam x thanos #adam warlock #thanos #gotg #guardians of the galaxy #gotg3 spoilers

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the-sunshine-dims · 8 months

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ANONYMOUS M BELOVED ANONYMOUS M BELOVED

#IM GOING FERAL OVER THEM #ONE OF THE ONLY GODS BESIDES LENARIUS WHO ARE STILL A GOD AND WHO ARE STILL ALIVE #AND THEIR SILLY #AND MADE MAGIC TATOOS AND IM OOOO #THEIR SO COOL AND ECCENTRIC AND I AM PUTTING THEM IN A BOX WITH VIKESH AND LUCE BECUASE THEYVE BEEN ADDED TO FAVORITE GOD TERRITORY #ALSO THE CUTSCENE #THEM COMING BACK TO SEE THEIR STUFF GONE AND THE 'WHAT THE FU-"#I AM OOOOO HEEE HEEE HA HAAA ABOUT THEM #caps #fable smp #ganna go feral in the main tag dhddh #BUT OOO

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samantha-and-her-chaotic-desires · 4 months

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....I'm thinking.

I don't know why, but I'm thinking.

#am i sorry? no #on one hand they're all tumblr sexymen....#they all have some sort of black/red color code in them #villain/antagonist coded too #all of them are dapper as hell #oh shit are they all mY COMFORT CHARACTERS TOO???????#WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH MY BRAIN HELP #ghirahim and black hat both have long ass tongues #mordecai and alastor are both asexual with 1920s flair #ghirahim alastor and bill are literal demons #mordecai alastor and black hat have SOME type of glasses/monocole #mordecai and black hat are the suit and tie gang #......welp might as well make a whole ass blog based off of them /nsrs #.....or am I /nsrs???? :OOOOO #original post #samantha screeches #I'm going insane

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merakiui · 1 year

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more beans day azul vignette that i really like!!!! orz he’s actually so pathetic it’s really too cute.

#meraki mumbles #riddle really did him a favor without even realizing it omg #and the ‘what in the deep blue sea?!’ line had me giggling omg he’s so silly #AND THE ENDING?????#me before the ending: oh wow azul actually did a nice thing by letting deuce and riddle go wow how very unlike him #azul at the end: get them jack >:)#OOOOO HE’S SO FINE #HE’S A TEN BUT HE GETS TOO INVESTED IN BEANS DAY (so an 11)#omg the fact that he had jack chase after deuce and riddle #that’s actually so 😳#i would let jack chase me if it meant i was being brought back to azul #riddle and deuce are so lucky when will it be my turn?! orz #THE WAY HE HAD SAID ‘after them’ WITH A STRAIGHT FACE TOO…..#for some reason it reminded me of that scene in ‘don’t breathe’ when the woman escapes and the blind man can’t get to her #but then his rottweiler chases after her #OOO THINKING MANY THOUGHTS BUT #beans day azul but he’s an incel >:)#and your beans day outfit is really revealing because slim-fitting clothes make it easier to run and exercise in #orz i need him carnally

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nulltune · 9 months

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activity's gonna continue 2 be a lil spotty from me for a while eeeee i still got a couple of things to finish up b4 i can clown around here orz but!! gimme a ❤️ for a lil something small in the near future maybe ??! i might send in a meme or an ask or throw out a one-liner.... who knows! but it'll be a lil something for sure úwù🫶 multis pwease help out an indecisive lynn and specify a muse tho! <3

#&&. out of #i ain't forgor what i owe btw! 😤 but i do wanna give my lovely mutuals more opportunities 2 interact !!#bc my ass has Not been rb'ing much memes or posting calls 😳💀#so ye ! DON'T BE SHY 🫶💕 ooooo u want a lil bit of moon girl in ur life .....#also dw if we have 2648294 things going on bc i'm a greedy binch i wuvs multiple interactions hoho 🤧💖#and if we have 0 things going on ? then pls know that i have been staring respectfully and am waiting 4 da opportunity 2 interact.!!!!#BIG LOVE..........

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fogwitchoftheevermore · 8 months

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i'm going on a VERY fun rabbit hole with this life series/hermitcraft/empires blaseball au thing, so have the next installment, the hermit blaseball au! this one is a lot easier to understand if you don't know anything about blaseball, because this is Much more "i've just put them into the plot of blaseball, they're just hanging out in there". my empires blaseball au can be found here, and the third life blaseball au will be linked here one i finish writing that up.

also, a few of my choices for teams i am not... particularly confident about (namely xisuma, bdubs, hypno, and tango) so if you have a better suggestion for them please pitch it.

Grian: Batter for the LA Unlimited Tacos

Scar: Batter for the Miami Dale

Mumbo: Batter for the New York Millennials, Siphon

Cleo: Pitcher for the Kansas City Breath Mints

Ren: Batter and team captain for the San Fransisco Lovers, Charm

Bdubs: Batter for the Hawai’i Fridays

Impulse: Batter for the Hellmouth Sunbeams

Pearl: Pitcher for the Houston Spies, Precognition

Gem: Pitcher for the Kansas City Breath Mints

Xisuma: Pitcher for the Philly Pies

Evil X: Pitcher for the Hades Tigers

Wels: Batter for the San Fransisco Lovers

Hels: Batter for the Baltimore Crabs

Hypno: Batter for the Mexico City Wild Wings

XB: Batter for the Atlantis Georgias

Beef: Pitcher for the Dallas Steaks

Keralis: Batter for the Core Mechanics

Joe: Pitcher for the Kansas City Breath Mints, later batter for the Seattle Garages

TFC: Coach of the Ohio Worms

Doc: Pitcher for the Core Mechanics

Jevin: Batter for the Charleston Shoe Thieves, Flinch, later rerolled into Reverberating

False: Pitcher for the Tokyo Lift

Stress: Batter for the Tokyo Lift

Iskall: Batter for the Breckenridge Jazz Hands

Tango: Pitcher for the Chicago Firefighters, Fire Eater

Cub: Batter for the Charleston Shoe Thieves, got Flinch from fighting god and got it rerolled into Debt

Etho: Pitcher for the Canada Moist Talkers

Zedaph: Pitcher for the Yellowstone Magic

Wormman: Pitcher for the Ohio Worms

This AU is, even more so than the Empires part of this AU, just me shoving the Hermits into the Blaseball universe and letting it happen.

The only people who are even sort of replacing an actual Blaseball player are Cleo, Joe, and Gem.

Cleo is our Jaylen. She pitches for the Kansas City Breath Mints, and is the best pitcher in the league, and when the Forbidden Book opens, she dies. Her intended replacement is False Symmetry II, aka Empires!False, but when the Forbidden Book is opened in the Empires, Hermitcraft, and Life Series universes all at once, everything gets a little muddled, and everyone comes out of it a little muddled. The biggest change is that Cleo is instead replaced by Gemini Tay, the newly generated player from the Empires world who was meant to replace Xornoth.

When she is resurrected at the end of season 6, Joe goes into the Shadows in exchange. Within a few seasons, he is able to leave the Shadows and bats for the Breath Mints for about a season, afterwards he is transferred to the Seattle Garages, where he stays. I am not putting him back in the Shadows because it makes me kind of sad.

Cub and Jevin are both players for the Thieves, so they get cursed as a result of the boss fight against the Shelled One. We will resolve that later. Hels, despite being on the Crabs, does not get cursed, because he doesn’t join the Crabs until after they return from ascension.

Other than that, the Hermits are just sort of Existing in the world of Blaseball. Evil X and Hels are both created in similar ways to Evil Twin and Bontgomery Mullock, which is to say, Blessings break and accidentally clone a guy, so we just slightly edit one of their names and keep going. Don’t worry about it.

At one point during Expansion, while the Reroll Will is still in effect, fans of the Thieves attempt to reroll the Flinch modifier that Cub got as a side effect of fighting god and losing that one time. It gets rerolled into Debt, in a similar vein to what happened to Silvaire Roadhouse, but because he’s on the Thieves, he actually gets to kill people. Good for him. Jevin’s Flinch modifier also gets rerolled, but he gets Reverberating. Good for him, but in a different direction.

#mcyt blaseball au #hermitcraft #ooooo come closer you wanna learn about blaseball/mcyt stuff so bad #important other notes: joe hills wrote and sings rejoice in this world because DUH of COURSE he does #all of the ex hermits got incinerated at some point but i dont know enough about them to tell you what teams they were on #any hermits who go on extended hiatuses (hypno wels mumbo etc) are just elsewhere. dw they'll be back. probably.

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