#WHAT EVEN IS HAPPENING HERE 😔

[spacedlexi]

speaking of fucked up overly hated female twdg characters i find it Super Interesting how people will say carver was the best villain in the whole series, but when lilly is literally just a successful carver (iron fist leader of a community turning children into soldiers) suddenly shes a bad/lame villain for some reason 🤔

#twdg #hmm im sure this has nothing to do with the fact shes a woman (a woman that a lot of people hated since S1) #AND they gave her a giant boat? thats funny #LIKE if they did originally plan to have kenny be carver in S2 she is LITERALLY JUST THAT IDEA but the woman version of it #also i find it interesting that her speech about larry and the lights is reminiscent of that first convo between shane and rick in the show #i happened to like S1 lilly for the most part and felt her evolution in S4 made perfect sense #she hated being questioned. wanted total authority. ex military and so used to dealing with military types. family/loyalty important to her #which is why her and clem meeting again and clashing heads is so narratively interesting #is this person your family? can you bring them to your side? are they even the same person? when do you let go? #so many themes in S4 mmm yummy #a theme vi/minnie share too #and mitch brings up the sentiment while burning ms martin #but yeah im in the 'lilly was actually the best villain in the whole series' camp i wonder whos in here with me. is it quiet in here #it wouldve been nice to see more of the delta... unfortunately if things needed to be cut its understandable why it was #you dont NEED to know more about the delta than whats been told #but i would like to 😔 #like could we have been given more fleshing out of her character? sure. do we actually NEED it? no #it speaks

[even-disco-baby]

YOU — “Did you become a gardener because of your grandmother?”

THE GARDENER — She looks taken aback by your question. “I’m sorry?”

YOU — “Your grandmother who taught you about the nutrients in the snow.”

THE GARDENER — “I got that part, thanks. I just…” She shakes her head with a quiet breath.

EMPATHY — She just thought it was a strange question for a cop to ask.

THE GARDENER — “Yes, it was because of her.” Her expression flickers just slightly. “*For* her…”

DRAMA — There’s more to this cute grandma story, sire.

AUTHORITY — Who cares about her grandma? Tell her to cut the bullshit and stop wasting your time already!

“Cool. Sorry, I don’t know why I asked you that. I actually don’t care that much.”

“Okay, let’s cut the bullshit. Are you really a gardener?”

“You sound sad.”

THE GARDENER — “Do I?” She smiles shyly. “Sorry. I was getting nostalgic.”

DRAMA — She’s laying it on a little thick, but she isn’t lying. You touched a nerve.

YOU — “Was she a gardener, too?”

THE GARDENER — “…She wanted to be,” she says, her voice measured. “But we rarely end up where we want to be, wouldn’t you say?”

INLAND EMPIRE — Yes. You would. You don’t even remember where or who you hoped to be, but it can’t have been anything like *this.* No one would ever want to be you.

“Yeah. You’re right. I mean, look at *me.* I hope I didn’t end up like this intentionally. That would be pretty weird.”

“Hey, it’s never too late to give it a shot.”

THE GARDENER — “I mean, it is for her,” she says drily. “She’s dead.”

EMPATHY — Oh.

YOU — “Oh.”

THE GARDENER — “Why are you asking so many questions about my grandmother, anyway? I can assure you she didn’t put that body in the tree. On account of being dead.”

“You never can tell. She could have faked her death. I have to explore every possibility. I’m told that’s what detectives do. And also that I’m a detective.”

“Okay, you got me, I don’t actually care about your grandma. I care about why you’re spying on us.”

“Just curious. It sounds like she meant a lot to you.”

THE GARDENER — Her expression flickers again, almost imperceptibly.

COMPOSURE — She’s trained herself well to keep a straight face. Strange for a gardener.

THE GARDENER — “…She still does,” she admits quietly. “She gave up her home and her garden to take care of me. And then worked herself to death, quite literally.”

EMPATHY — There’s bitterness in her voice, but not toward her grandmother. More likely toward the job that wore her down to nothing.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Without the speed and the nicotine and the booze to smooth out all those harsh edges, you would have been worn down to nothing by now, too.

“That’s the economy for you. She should have worked on her hustle.”

“I totally understand. Being a cop is really hard.”

“Well, at least *you* ended up where you wanted to be. I’m sure she’d be glad that you became a gardener.”

THE GARDENER — Slowly, like the snow on the breeze, her gaze falls from you to her gloved hands. Her face is still as stone.

“Yes,” she says hollowly. “She would.”

EMPATHY — And that’s what makes it all so much harder.

#disco elysium #harry du bois #elizabeth beaufort #requests #wow this one was a toughie since harry and lizzy don’t rlly have a rapport #and his interactions w her as the gardener are p limited #it took me a while to think of smth but then i remembered her line abt her grandma and the gears started turning… #ig the headcanon™️ here is that lizzy ended up being raised by her grandmother after smth happened to her parents #and she had to sell her house w her garden to afford a good education for lizzy #worked too hard and too long to have the time or energy to start a new one #and probably wouldn’t have been able to anyway if they lived in an apartment #died when lizzy was young and then evrart took her under his wing #and she was passionate abt worker’s rights bc of what happened to her grandmother so she fit right in and was eager to go to law school #but even after all that… there’s still no garden for her 😔

[markantonys]

me every day that passes with nary a peep about gawyn's arrival in the show

#show!gawyn is out there right now!!! he's been cast and filmed all of s3!!! and i don't know who he is!!! aaaaaaaaahhh!!! #okay we still don't even have official confirmation that he HAS been cast and appears in s3 but. i'll eat my hat if he hasn't & doesn't #..........yeah i said that about s2 as well djkfjg but this time THIS time i KNOW he will be here! okay! i know it! #anyway i'm sure he won't be well in s3 given what's gonna happen but i hope he'll at least be warm 😔 #gawyn trakand #wot #wot book spoilers

[flyingwea]

FUCKK MY LIFE A SPANISH SPEAKER YOUTUBER I LIKE AND BEEN WATCHING FOR A VERY LONG TIME SAID SOMETHING ABOUT DREAM NOOOOOOO

#she didn't even bring him up on her own it was the fucking chat 😭😭😭 #and I'm here with my sims!dream deciding what haircut makes him look more puppy #AND IT'S THE GIRL I COMPARED TO DREAM BECAUSE THEY BOTH HAVE STUPID BAKA LIFES WHERE SHIT JUST HAPPENS TO THEM AND GET CANCELLED CONSTANTLY #AND ARE BOTH AUTISCTIT AND- whatever man 🚶🏻‍♂️ #I will ignore itthis time because the vod is kind of old and she has never talked about himand doesn't seem like she will evr talk about hi #sometimes I think I'm not parasocial and then I get drummy aches at the mere mention of him literally fight or flight response #rant #< i guess idk #I'll better go watch something else for now 😔 #AND THEY BOTH ARE ALSO QUEER

[mrs-kelly]

Ahdjfkfl before I go to sleep and before I think about it too much, I introduce you to… Peter 🥺❤️ my love my life my beloved Peter 🥺 waaa…

#we’ve been together a little over a week now but… when u know u know 🥰 #I’ve known him for a couple months now actually but since I was trying to focus on Charlie #I ignored him when I first saw him… which was TOUGH #I felt a connection like. immediately #but I turned my head and tried to keep moving along #meanwhile we’d watch the show and I’d literally have to tune out and not pay attention so I wouldn’t look at him with heart eyes ahdjfl #I don’t remember any of what happened in the early episodes of fringe. at all #bc I was trying to ignore him!! every! step! of the way! #and I couldn’t without completely clocking out #AND THEN I pulled him in mudae in the first week of the server #and I was like ‘IM RLY NOT GETTING AWAY FROM THIS GUY’ but I stayed in denial #and didn’t claim him even tho I should’ve 😔 #well here we are now and I’m rly in love with him 🥺👉👈💕 #ren speaks #Peter💜 #heehee I just made his tag his server name <3 #it’s fine. it’s also his playlist name ahdjfl

[c-119]

Do you think Maru pranks the team sometimes by giving them scented air filters

#planes: fire and rescue #planes 2 #disney planes #maru #my thoughts #Blade has to get his filters replaced and the first time someone rolls by him they’re just like #okay.. who’s cooking sweets at 4 in the afternoon #and he’s like yeah!! we don’t even have vanilla #at some point drip is like woah! you smell good boss #and the jumpers are like BRO #that was outta pocket.. but you’re not wrong #Maru is just cackling to himself in his evil little mechanic lair #nyehehe kinda laugh #Of course Windy knows exactly what happened #he finds it funny though #Chief just goes around smelling like cookies for the longest time #‘who bought a new air refresher in here? I didn’t know we had that kind of budget’ #you don’t. your chief got vanilla’d bro 😔 #anyways yeah that’s my thought of the week #toodles #see u next month besties

[palettesofrenaissance]

I was going through my old messages and texts and realize that about 70% of my Tumblr friends (the ones who interacted near daily and we DMed each other all the time and hyped each other up about everything) are all either inactive or they deleted. 😢

#I have tried before connecting with people on here more but it's been fruitless every time 😔 #I would love to interact more and get close to people again but it seems like people either don't want to or are too hateful or just weird #or people are too busy or in different fandoms but even when they're not no one even tries to interact anymore 😔 #what happened to tumblr and other platforms being a community? #I send out asks to interact but only sometimes are they answered

[todayisafridaynight]

daigo lurking in the hot topic until finally someone asks him if he works there and he just has to awkwardly be like no...... sorry......

#snap chats #aka things that happened to me today part 86 EIDNSZL #its what happens when your indecisive ass hangs around the shit for an hour until people just assume You Work There.... #he might as well if you asked him where something was he might be snappy at first but he’d tell you #but anyways NOOOO I DIDNT MEAN TO BUY AN OUTFIT TODAYDOSBDKSK #oh well.... i went my whole teenagehood not buying clothes its ok.... #but yeah. they never gave me hot cash before ????? they just gave me coupons #and i forgot to bring my coupon from LAST time because. i wasnt supposed to buy anything today 🕴 #this post was just so i could talk bout hot cash cause ik we talked bout it before </3 #i just wanted to get out of the house 🕴 #but NOOOOO my friend finally was able to comm me after wanting to for so long... and then i let it get to my head 😔 #if you knew me durinn my persona days you knew i had this terrible habit of getting adachi shit as soon as i got paid #and i PROMMY i dont intend to fall back into that spendin habit 😔 if you guys catch me buying more shit thats non essential or cosplay stuff #yell at me please ty #oh well 😔 here this is an investment watch ill draw daigo in the goofy outfit i got today #ill even give him some of the rings i go last time. because i forgot to Last Time ☠️☠️ #anyway. guess im going home now. EW. #but im gonna watch that movie when i do.. hehe.....

[engie-the-profit]

will i ever stop being startled by seeing my own art while im scrolling through my feeds? unlikely

#engie.txt #am i just dumb??? like why do i get jumpscared every time 😭😭 #im always minding my own business and then im like yo wtf that looks like something i drew #and then itll click and im like oh yeah ofc it looks like something i drew. bc thats what i drew. i did that #i really hope other ppl experience this bc otherwise im just a freak im just a weirdo 😔 #and this isnt even just a tumblr thing either. ive been on twt for years and i still have this happen lmfao #well i should say ive been posting on twt for years #i have also been here since like 2015 but i usually lurked. this is the first time im actually being consistent in activity haha

[8aji]

im a lil embarrassed that most of the posts ive posted (duh) as of late were text posts abt me being sick LMFAO n it feels silly to write this but i think i may log out of this acc for a lil while at least on mobile <3

#not being able to write is making me feel a lil dizzy dizzy #a lil embarrassed a lil 'i do not belong' ya know??? #hm yeah i also need to get off my phone bc i start uni next week and i need to wake up early and im soooo stressed bc of another uni thingy #so...i will be deactivating 😔👊 #im joking im joking #ofc i wont deactivate i think my shrink would kill me if i did anyway /hj #she was the once that convinced me to make the writing blog #but rn the internet doesnt feel good to me and i need to be more present and more real and prioritise other aspects of my life #i wanna be more stable and journal and move my body and read books bc i like the feeling of the paper and and #i had the sweetest ask ever about my book recs and i was also a lil embarrassed to respond bc im not much of a reader but i try TT #anyway !! aside from this mildly incoherent ramble which i loved writing ngl #i havent been writing a lot and i think ive lowkey un-hyperfixated on tr and jjk so the inspo isnt inspoing #and tbh that feels a lil awful to say bc tr has taught me so many things and helped me grow and im so painfully in love with shin but idk #idk what happened i think i just hit a lil bump in the road of life and the stress has me focused more on real life and other things than #my darling beloveds. and im sure itll pass like most things in life i will feel good again #but rn it doesnt. i havent even caught up with the latest ep of tr :') but nonetheless writing is one of my truest loves as well #so i will comeback hopefully with a few stories mapped out including a lil gojo series and all that fun jazz :D #i have shin naoto izana gojo and toji in store !! and tbh im not ready to just leave them all behind #ANYWAY OKAY this' gone for too long LMFAO but thank u if u read till here i think i needed to rant #that means ill probably be less active than im already am but ill be back !! #still i dont think this exactly qualifies as a hiatus so i wont mark it down as such wait is this a semi-hiatus??? lmfao idk but eh 🤷‍♀️ #i love love love love love yall so so so much and forevever and always will #MWAH #<3

[alectology-archive]

Wait how did logain get his hands on the seals?

#I've admittedly been skimming but I'm pretty sure I didn't read a scene where the seals were retrieved from taim? #what is happening in the plot here lol 😔 #why is it implied egwene was holding back her strength in previous battles even though they were hard-pressed there as well.... #aelia reads wheel of time #aelia reads a memory of light #wot book spoilers

[two-saints]

idk what to do because normally being on tumblr and seeing everyone’s thoughts and memes eases the post eurovision depression but this year was so disappointing… i feel like it’ll just make me sad all over every time i think about it you know, even if we’re all commiserating it’ll just be a reminder

#eurovision #here’s to next year ig #sweden being insufferable about hosting even if it’s petra who i love #lots more bland pop songs because that wins apparently #everyone singing in english #what a disaster i don’t understand what happened #i know my taste isn’t the general eurovision public’s taste i was expecting to be disappointed but not THIS disappointed #there is nothing about the shows that i can remember fondly #i didn’t think the songs were that weak i really liked most of them #but the show was such a let down i was way happier about this year before the actual performances #eurovision season was good but eurovision itself not so much😔

[lesbiancarat]

very weird that I've seen multiple people in the last couple weeks saying it would be fun if samuel got added to seventeen now bc there's no way people actually think that 🤨

#it just seems so disrespectful to both svt and samuel like its been over 7 years #feels disrepectful to the solo career samuel has built like theyre implying its not interesting enough #and disrespectful to the bond svt have built over the years together #like its one thing to imagine what could have been of he debuted with them and another to say this #but i dont even like that bc samuel was TWELVE when svt debuted #and personally i think it was for the best his mom pulled him from the company no kid should debut that young #which is maybe why people change their 'what-if' to samuel just rejoining svt now #but like i said it just feels disrespectful #obv i know ppl online cant actually make that happen but just suggesting it feels :/ #sorry to rant i normally dont like bringing up stuff thats only an issue with a few people but this was just such a weird take #i also saw someone say it was a 'bad career move' for him to have left plds back in the day?? #umm his mom was trying to protect her son who was a Literal Child #honestly i hate when ppl get hung up on who trained with who in general and act like they have some eternal bond its not that deep #it also annoys me when ppl say '[idol] was supposed to debut in [group]' when they just trained together #its esp a misconception w svt bc of 17tv. ppl think the other trainees that didnt debut were part of the lineup #but plds said that the trainees on 17tv werent guaranteed to debut/it wasnt the official lineup #'4 members left before debut' no!!! trainees left before debut the only members are the ones that got rings-13 #got a bit off topic there but its one of my pet peeves 😔 #may delete this later i try not to rant too much on here bc its not good for my mental health to do it too much lol #melia.txt

[bahrmp3]

I had a dream that didn't have any family members! this is like first time in forever 😊😊

I can't really remember but I was either a man or like watching the dream like a film? and the general gist is like so

a group of ppl come together when they are travelling (or on a ship?) when supernatural things happen and someone disappears from the group and another person who could have solved this can only be seen by the remaining member of the group and only one of them (me?) could tell that the man was here and yet not here bc of "special eyes"

there was a running gag that a member of the group would try to call the fantastic four and get busy tone then half way through trying calling the avengers and hearing their musical motif lmao

I woke up before the conclusion so to speak but it really felt like this was a film or smth rather than a dream

#personal #no read more bc im on mobile 😔😔 but honestly most of. my dreams esp my nightmares has family in it it is v rare to not dream of family #extra notes but I think someone was wearing yellow? another was trying to call the missing person but the phone handle was huge!! #someone also mentions funeral rites? for the here but not here person? and I remember hearing music in the dream like clear enough to know #that og this is the avengers theme except now awake I legit can't think of it to save my life did my mind 'play' smth else? did I even hear #music in my dream? idk! hmm what else? oh this dream happened between 7am and 10pm

[imwritesometimes]

my allergies are so bad they negatively impact my mental health and I'm just very tired of everything

#4 hours of sleep ✌️🥴 cause I can't ever actually breathe out of my nose #and if I can't breathe I literally cannot sleep no matter fuckin what #and they just decided while doing surgery for something else years ago that even upon seeing how BAD my deviated septum is #that it wasn't their responsibility to fix to or even refer me to anyone else who could just oh fuck this girl #so idk man. you try functioning on 4 hours of sleep. repeatedly. for months. #see how uhhh mentally stable you are!!!!! l #decongestant medication does fuck all. now I don't have the money to see a dr. like. I'm fuckin tired man. #and this has happened to most of my dad's family! Dr's just go oh yeah that's a bad one hahaha oh well! #my dad deals with this. my brother. my grandma even went through it like. I'm just so fuckin TIRED #not getting sleep fucks me up SO BAD mental health wise like it's SO BAD it actually scares me how bad it gets if I can't sleep 😔 #I'm purely venting here idgaf anymore I'm like a zombie for 3 days now I fuckin hate this #erin explains it all

[confinesofmy]

#i am feeling alienated from peers due to experiences beyond my control in this chili's tonight :/ #i feel older than everyone i talk to bc they haven't seen The Patterns up close like i have #which is true #none of them have experienced anything quite like what i have experienced in the past couple months #but a lot of them have seen The Patterns in various situations #like we all see them sometimes #it's like a stage of life right #your awareness of the world shifting and changing it's fine #but i'm all olone 😞 and nobody gets it like i do 😔 they don't understand 🙄 it's exhausting #shit like this is why trauma victims are so susceptible to c*lts i s2g #smth happens & it shakes you up & no one around you has experienced the earth-shattering thing the way you have so you isolate yourself #and then along come new people who Get It‚ they Understand and then bam you're ass over teakettle #and what was once alienating is now binding instead #:/ #i'm still miserable even if i am self-aware enough to probably avoid worst case scenarios here #adams year from hell