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vexedtonightmares · 5 years

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last dance (elu ballet au) chapter huit

Lucas is in his final year at the Paris Opera Ballet School and he’ll be damned if he lets his former friend-turned-rival Eliott steal the lead role in their production of Swan Lake.

aka- lucas and eliott are rivals who are forced to room together for their final year of ballet school before they try to enter the company. we can all see where this is going.

i. ii. iii. iv. v. vi. vii. viii.

ao3

**For those unaware, I will only ever post my works on my tumblr or on ao3 under the name bluesxrgent. If you see my work posted elsewhere, I did not post, or give my permission for it to be posted, and I would love it if you let me know. Bisous.**

tw: brief mentions of past child abuse in this chapter

Jeudi 14:37

“Fuck,” Lucas hissed under his breath for probably the twentieth time that day. Imane glared at him, which was justified. It was like he had two left feet all of a sudden, he couldn’t get any of the moves right. Madame Rigaux had been downright terrifying in their earlier classes, and he’d hoped he would be able to get it together by the time Swan Lake rehearsals started, but no dice.

He couldn’t keep his mind off the dream he’d had that morning, memories of him and Eliott as children coming in and out of his mind in flashes. He’d slipped out of their suite while Eliott was in the bathroom that morning but hadn’t gone to the studio, knowing Eliott might look for him there.

It was his fault, really, if Eliott thought they were back to being friends, but he hoped some good avoidance and ignoring on his part would do the trick and send them back to mutual hatred.

The director eyed him from the front of the classroom and Lucas snapped to attention, trying to pretend his mind wasn’t running a mile a minute. Eliott, unfortunately, was completely back in his groove, dancing better than he had since he’d been out for a week. Manon was flawless as usual, and they complimented one another very well. Lucas reached out for Imane’s hand, preparing to restart the phrase they’d been working on.

It went more successful than the last time, but they were still nowhere near their usual chemistry. He knew Imane would chew him out about it later, but at the moment as long as he was executing the steps properly he really didn’t care if the right energy and passion wasn’t there.

They moved along into the sequence where Odile, disguised as Odette, fools the Prince, thus allowing Von Rothbart a victory. Manon and Imane had been practicing this sequence harder than the others because it was one of the most iconic moments of the ballet, as it was the part where Odile executed thirty-two consecutive fouettes. Eliott met Lucas’ eye as the girls prepared to run through their turns before doing them in line with the choreography, and Lucas flinched away from the glance.

They were seventeen now, and Lucas had still never been the Prince or done the fouettes like they’d promised each other back when they were eight. When he looked back up at Eliott, Eliott was wearing a slight frown, brows furrowed in concern. He raised one of them at Lucas in a silent question, but Lucas ignored it, pretending to pay attention to Manon and Imane so he knew when to come in with his own choreography.

They were seventeen now, and Lucas was still making all the same mistakes. He wanted to pretend it wasn’t his fault, but he’d always been the master of his own demise, believing in the good in people even after they’d shown that whatever they considered good was not to be trusted.

Needless to say, the rest of rehearsals flew by in one big blur. The one surprisingly decent part of the day was how Lucas had actually done quite well in their hip hop class that day. Maybe it was all his pent up rage, but he’d killed their combination that day, and it didn’t go unnoticed. Actually, their hip hop instructor asked to record him doing the combo after class, which was usually only ever requested of people like Manon, Imane, Sofiane, and, before she’d left the school, Alexia.

Sweating, but smiling when he finished, he packed up his things and left the classroom, running right into Eliott who’d been waiting outside the door. Lucas shot him an alarmed and confused look, but Eliott just fell into step beside him. Lucas looked at him out of the corner of his eye, even more confused by the fact that Eliott was grinning peacefully. Hadn’t he noticed Lucas was avoiding him?

“What are you doing?” Lucas asked finally. Eliott looked surprised.

“What do you mean?”

Lucas raised his eyebrows. “I mean, why did you wait for me?”

Eliott shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I? We’re going back to the same place and it only took a few minutes anyway.”

“Maybe I didn’t want you to,” Lucas grumbled, and Eliott’s smile finally faltered. “And maybe I wasn’t coming back to the room.”

“But it’s dinner time. Remember? We planned to make ratatouille?” Eliott teased. They had, in fact, planned to make ratatouille, because they’d watched the movie while they ate the night before, mouths watering at all the animated food even though they had no idea why. What was it about animated food that made it look so much better than real food?

“I can’t,” Lucas lied, “I promised Yann I’d go out to dinner with him.

“On a Thursday?”

��Yes.”

Eliott’s face fell further. “Oh. Um, ok then. You don’t want to shower before you go?”

Lucas wrinkled his nose. “Are you telling me I smell?”

“No, but you have a shower every day after practice before you do anything else so…”

Ok, fine, that was true. He really did need a shower. “I meant after my shower, obviously.”

“Ok, sorry.” Eliott’s voice was small and closed off. Part of Lucas was pleased that he was finally taking a hint, the other part frantic that he’d dimmed Eliott’s natural light. They walked the rest of the short distance to their room in silence.

Once inside, Lucas beelined for the bathroom, shutting the door and locking it behind him before slumping against the side of the door. He knew that Yann had plans with his own parents that night, but that didn’t matter. Lucas could spend his time in one of the studios and pretend he’d been out with Yann for the night. If he was lucky he’d be able to come back after Eliott fell asleep.

He was suddenly grateful he’d agreed to go to the party with the boys tomorrow night. At least then he had an excuse to avoid Eliott. Now he only had to worry about the rest of the year, which was wonderful.

He turned the shower on, realizing he’d been in there for a while and he’d just been sitting on the floor. Even though the shower was on, he was still unmotivated to actually get in, so he laid his head against the bathtub and watched until the shower got so hot that steam formed on the mirror.

There was a small part of his heart that couldn’t stop clenching painfully in his chest, and he didn’t know why. More accurately, he was pretty sure he did know why, and that made his heart clench even tighter.

Vendredi 21:16

Lucas was nowhere near as drunk as he wished he could be but, given the disastrous experience of the last party, he’d limited himself to one drink at the pregame, one drink when they got to the party. Most of his friends had no such reservations, and he frowned at the beer he’d been nursing for an hour in disappointment.

The party was supposed to start around 22h, which meant that they would be showing up fashionably late, which meant he had to nurse this beer for the next hour and a half at least. Great. Lucas, Yann, Basile, Arthur, Manon, Daphné, Emma, Imane, and Alexia were at Emma’s house for the pregame because her parents were never around and it was pretty close to both the school and where the party would be held.

At least Eliott and Sofiane hadn’t joined them, choosing to hang out with Idriss and one of their other friends, Alex. Lucas wasn’t even sure if they’d be going to the party and hoped to god they wouldn’t. He wouldn’t have minded seeing Idriss and Alex, but he could survive a night without them if it meant a night without Eliott too.

Arthur laid his head in Lucas’ lap, looking up at Lucas in concern. “You look upset.”

“I’m not upset,” Lucas said. He wasn’t, really, at least no more than usual.

“Bullshit,” Arthur sang to himself, then giggled. Arthur usually didn’t get drunk very fast, so he must have had a lot to drink already. “You’re always upset.”

“That’s not true,” Lucas argued, but it sounded strained. They both knew it was true, but Lucas hadn’t realized Arthur picked up on it.

Arthur blinked slowly, like it required quite the effort. “It is. I don’t know why, though…” he trailed off and Lucas thought for a second he might have fallen asleep. Then, out of nowhere, his eyes snapped open and he spoke again. “You’re too hard on yourself. If only you could see what all of us see, for real. I know I don’t tell you enough, but you’re amazing, dude. Not just at ballet, but at everything you do. It makes me sad that you can’t see it.”

Lucas felt a little bit flustered. He knew Arthur was only being so honest because he was drunk, but people always said drunk words are sober thoughts, so there must have been some validity in what he was saying. Something occurred to Lucas and his eyes went wide. “Wait. you’re not… you don’t… like me, do you?”

“Of course I like you.” Arthur tapped the tip of Lucas’ nose lazily, letting his hand flop back down like a dead weight. “But I’m not in love with you if that’s what you’re asking. I wish I was, you’d probably be a great boyfriend,” he giggled.

Even though the last part had been a drunken ramble of a joke, Lucas smiled to himself. It warmed his heart, even a small amount, to think that Arthur thought that about him. “For what it’s worth I think you’d probably be a great boyfriend too,” Lucas responded, tapping Arthur’s nose in return.

Arthur laughed louder this time. “Yeah? I think you’re probably the first to have that delusion. But thanks.”

Maybe Lucas wasn’t the only one who had a harder time than he let on. Lucas began brushing Arthur’s hair casually with his fingers, trying to express his love and appreciation for his friend without going over the top. He wasn’t sure if Arthur understood, but Lucas would try harder to show Arthur all the ways he loved him going forward. Sometimes he wished platonic relationships were a thing. They were, he supposed, to a point, but no one ever got married platonically, or had a platonic boyfriend. Well, maybe they did, but not enough in Lucas’ opinion.

Platonic intimacy was so deeply undervalued, he thought, though maybe it was just because he’d pushed people away so much that he had a deep craving for someone to lay with him until he fell asleep with no feelings attached other than those of a familial sort of love. Sitting there, brushing through Arthur’s hair with his friend’s head in his lap, neither of them wanting anything more from the other was exactly what Lucas needed.

He wanted to be able to do things like this all the time without it meaning anything other than the fact that they loved each other, but not like that. Maybe he was just so touch starved that he’d take whatever he could get.

“What do you say we make one of those pacts, like in the movies?” Arthur asked, leaning into Lucas hand.

“What pacts?”

Arthur thought for a moment, and Lucas could almost see him lose his train of thought about five times. “Like ‘oh if we’re both single by the time we’re thirty, we’ll get married’. Although, you’ve probably already promised yourself to Yann, haven’t you?”

Lucas laughed. “Do you really think Yann will be single at thirty? He’ll be married by the time he’s twenty-one, mark my words.”

“Fair point. Want to make a deal, then?” Arthur held up his hand, the action looking like it took grave effort.

Lucas moved his hand from Arthur’s hair and shook it. “I still expect you to get down on one knee, just saying.”

“Right now?”

“No, not right now dumbass. If we’re single at thirty. I also expect roses and a ring so big it puts Kim Kardashian to shame.”

Arthur narrowed his eyes, then shrugged. “Sounds doable. I also promise mind-blowing platonic sex, if you want it. Deal?”

“Deal,” Lucas responded with a laugh, shaking Arthur’s hand once.

“What are you two doing over there? Come join the rest of us!” Alexia yelled from where everyone else was chatting a few feet away. Arthur sat up more quickly that Lucas would have thought possible, stumbling over his feet as he rejoined the group. He shot a wink Lucas’ way and Lucas couldn’t help but smile in return, wondering if Arthur would remember any of this come morning.

“You ok?” Yann asked as Lucas approached him. “You haven’t even finished your drink.”

Lucas nodded, surprised that Yann had noticed. “I’m trying to stay relatively sober tonight. Last time I drank way too much and I still feel sick when I think about it.”

Yann nodded gravely. “Yeah, we’ve all been there.”

Lucas smiled and settled into the circle beside him. He loved how, most times, Yann understood him without question. If he’d stayed friends with Eliott all these years, he and Yann would never have formed the relationship they had now, so he supposed he had Eliott to thank for that at least.

Manon was a bit quiet and she kept averting her eyes every time he tried to meet her gaze. They hadn’t spoken much in a while, at least not about anything other than ballet, and Lucas missed her. He wondered if she was dealing with as much turmoil in her life as he was, and wondered if Charles had anything to do with it.

For the most part, though, the nine of them laughed and joked together, some much drunker than others, but Lucas found himself actually having fun. This was what he liked, not the huge parties where all people wanted to do was get drunk and hook up. He thought maybe in another life or a parallel universe he could have been one of those people, but definitely not in this one. In this one, he just wanted to go to bed.

Nevertheless, he participated more than he normally would have, trying to take his mind off all the things he would have been overthinking had he been shut up in his room. It worked, for the most part, and by the time they all got ready to leave for the actual party, he didn’t even have to fake his smile.

Vendredi 22:52

The party was in full swing. Lucas and all of his friends had arrived about half past 22h, and there was already at least fifty people there. Lucas was immediately overwhelmed but pretended not to be, grabbing another beer and planning to retreat somewhere quiet for a while. Yann, unfortunately, had been anticipating this, so he dragged Lucas into the kitchen with Basile and Arthur, forcing him to participate.

Thankfully, the kitchen wasn’t as full as the rest of the house, so Lucas was able to breathe more freely and feel less claustrophobic. “Hooking up with anyone tonight Baz?” Arthur asked, and Lucas had to fight not to roll his eyes. It would only be a matter of time until they asked him.

Basile cast a glance around the room and Lucas could tell he was looking for someone in particular. “Fingers crossed, boys,” he said.

Arthur gestured for him to continue. “Who?” he prompted gently.

Basile turned to look at them in exasperation. “Daphné! Duh!”

“Since when are you into Daphy?” Lucas asked, forgetting that he’d been trying to keep himself out of the conversation.

“Since forever? Besides, there were totally some vibes between us earlier, didn’t you feel them?” Basile asked excitedly.

Arthur nodded. “Oh, totally. You’ve got this!” he encouraged, but when he met Lucas’ eyes behind Basile’s back he widened his eyes with a look that said He does not, in fact, have this. Lucas snorted into his beer, accidentally bringing the attention back onto himself.

“What about you, then? Anyone in the crowd catch your eye?” Basile asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Arthur cut in, “Oh, come on Baz, Lulu doesn’t do romance, despite what that hoodie of his might say.”

Lucas flipped him off, taking a sip of his drink. “That’s not true.”

Yann leveled Lucas with a knowing stare. Ok, fine, maybe it was a little bit true, but not everyone had to be on the lookout for a hookup or a relationship at all times, right? There was more to life. Sure, if he found someone he really liked, maybe he’d go for it, but there had never been anyone like that and he didn’t anticipate there being anyone like that anytime in the near future.

He rolled his eyes at his friends again. “Whatever,” he grumbled, saved from saying anything more by the appearance of Alexia.

“Hey! We’re playing fuck, marry, kill in the other room, come join!” she yelled over the pounding music. Did Lucas want to go play a game? No, but it got him out of this conversation, so he took off after Alexia, not waiting to see if his friends would join.

It turned out that they did follow, and they sat down beside him in a big circular group. There was some faces Lucas didn’t know, but otherwise it was just the boys and the girls from the ballet school plus Basile and Alexia.

“Yo, wait for us!” someone shouted, stumbling into the circle. The body belonging to the voice nearly tripped over Lucas’ shoulder and Lucas looked up to find Alex smiling apologetically. “Sorry, dude— oh, wait, Lucas! Long time no see bro, how are you?”

Alex had, against Lucas’ better judgement, been the first guy Lucas had ever kissed. It wasn’t a bad memory or anything, but Lucas still got a bit red in the face whenever he saw Alex. They were still friendly and everything, so if anyone was making it weird, it wasn’t Alex.

“I’m good,” he answered after a second too long, “You?”

“Fucking fantastic. Uni is so much better than lycée. Though I guess I don’t know how it compares to ballet school,” he laughed, then turned, attention called elsewhere. “We’ll catch up later, yeah?”

Before Lucas could even nod Alex was swept away to the opposite side of the circle with his friends who, Lucas remembered with a jolt, included Idriss, Sofiane, and Eliott. Lucas hadn’t seen Eliott yet, so he assumed he hadn’t come. Eliott didn’t look to be enjoying himself either, he looked a bit like he was trying to fold himself into a tiny little box. Their eyes met and Eliott smiled hesitantly, and Lucas averted his gaze immediately, mood souring. He was so caught up in not looking at Eliott that a few rounds of the game passed without him realizing it.

“Lucas!”

His head snapped up. Emma was looking at him mischievously. “It’s your turn. If you don’t answer you have to drink.”

“Um, ok.” He waited, hoping someone would jump in to save him before he had to answer. They didn’t.

“Fuck, marry, kill,” Emma started, “Yann, Basile, and Arthur.”

Oh, that one was easy. “Fuck Yann, marry Arthur, kill Basile.”

Basile looked at him in alarm. “You had that answer ready too quickly.”

Lucas just shrugged, fist bumping Yann and Arthur as they grinned at him. Shit, it was his turn to ask then, wasn’t it? He decided to go for Alex, knowing that whatever combination of people he chose, Alex would consider his answer very seriously. “Alex.” Alex looked up at him with a wide grin. “Fuck, marry, kill… Emma, Daphné, and Camille.”

Alex wrinkled his nose at the last name. Camille had been one of Alex’s girlfriends long ago, but was the only one whose name Lucas could remember. Alex had his answer ready quickly. “Fuck Daphné, marry Emma, kill Camille, god I haven’t thought about her in a while.”

Emma looked pleasantly surprised and Lucas narrowed his eyes between the two of them, wondering if there was something there that he’d accidentally picked up on. Alex took a swig of his own drink before turning to his target. “Eliott Demaury.”

Eliott folded in on himself even more, if possible. “Fuck, marry, kill Idriss, Sofiane, and… Lucas.”

Eliott choked, even though he didn’t have a drink in his hand. Lucas rolled his eyes. This one should be easy. “Sofiane, can you pass me a drink?” Eliott asked a bit quietly. Sofiane furrowed his brows but did as he was asked. Eliott met Lucas’ equally confused stare for a split second before he downed the drink and sat back, gaze cast downward. Why had he refused to answer?

Clearly picking up on whatever strange tension had begun to build, Daphné chimed in, “Oh, I know! Why don’t we play truth or dare?”

Everyone cheered at the suggestion, and Lucas wondered if it was possible to call aliens down to abduct him so he didn’t have to participate. Alexia explained that the rules would be the same, if there was something someone didn’t want to do or answer they could opt to drink instead, simple enough. She went first, daring Emma and Alex to spend seven minutes in heaven. They didn’t come back for twenty.

After that the game went by quicker, each truth and dare blurring together a bit. At one point Lucas was dared to kiss Yann, which he drank instead. Some friendships weren’t meant to be ruined by a stupid game of truth or dare. At another Basile and Daphné made out, Basile looking a bit more eager than Daphné. Eliott somehow ended up without a shirt on and Lucas noticed that he had a small tattoo on his chest above his heart but he couldn’t read what it said from across the room. Sofiane asked Imane if she’d ever cheated on her online schoolwork and, since she didn’t drink, she’d squeaked out a small yes, which put everyone in hysterics.

“Eliott, truth or dare?” Imane asked, still glaring at Sofiane.

“Truth.”

“Do you have a crush on anyone in this room?” she asked, and he suddenly glared at her. She raised her eyebrows innocently, daring him to answer.

“Yes,” he said at last, giving no further explanation. A couple more rounds passed and every time it landed on Eliott they tried to get him to divulge more information.

“Do they know?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Is it a boy or a girl?”

“Boy.”

“Does he like you back?”

“No.”

“How do you know he doesn’t like you back?”

“Educated guess.”

“Who is it?”

Eliott had drank to that one, and Lucas was struck wondering who it could be. It must have been the same person Eliott told him about the other night, right? If he had to guess, his bet was on Idriss, because as far as he knew, Idriss was straight, hence why he wouldn’t like Eliott back in the same way. There were a couple more questions but it never got back to Eliott, so Lucas never learned more.

Soon it was Daphné’s turn to ask, and she focused on Lucas. “Truth or dare?” Her words were a bit slurred and Lucas wondered how much she’d had to drink. Manon was watching her carefully, so at least there was someone who would take care of her if need be.

“Truth.” He’d been forced to give Alexia a lap dance less than ten minutes ago, so dare was a bit too much for him at the moment.

“Why do you hate Eliott?” she asked, and Lucas almost dropped his drink in surprise. That hadn’t been what he’d expected anyone to ask, much less Daphné. He stalled, pretending to take a sip of his beer. It wasn’t like he could tell the truth, not in front of that many people.

He realized everyone was silent, waiting. He could tell part of the truth, the superficial things, at least. “Why do I hate Eliott? Why don’t I hate Eliott? First of all, he acts so much better than everyone just because he got special private lessons from the director when we were ten years old. Manon did too, but you don’t see her acting all superior all the time. Secondly, he shows up late to every single practice. Well, not late, per se, but just on time, which is late in ballet terms, but he still gets the front spot at the barre. He’s also shit at math, which I guess a lot of people are, but he’s like really bad at it. He’s got his head so far up his own ass that he doesn’t realize when his friends are suffering or that when he skips class for a week it affects people other than himself, or maybe he just doesn’t care because the director still treats him like he shits pure gold. Well guess what? He doesn’t shit pure gold. There's a line between self confidence and narcissism, and he thinks he hasn’t crossed it, which only goes to show how much he has—”

Lucas cut off abruptly, realizing he’d been going on a tangent longer than he’d meant to. It felt so fucking good to say all those things, but deep inside he felt horrible, because he knew that a lot of it wasn’t true. His issues with Eliott were deeper than all the crap he’d just said. He dared to meet Eliott’s eyes over the crowd of dumbfounded people, surprised by the hurt he saw. Before anyone could say a word, Eliott was up, throwing his shirt back over his head and storming out of the circle. Lucas could have sworn he heard the door slam as Eliott left the house.

Fuck, he hadn’t meant to— he really hadn’t meant most of the things he’d said, he really hadn’t. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Without realizing what he was doing, Lucas stood up from the circle as well, running out after Eliott. He hoped everyone else would think he went to throw up or something so they wouldn’t follow. He fired off a quick text to the gang just in case.

GROUP CREATED: Lucas Lallemant, Yann Cazas, Arthur Broussard, Basile Savory

Lucas: Not feeling well, I had to go to the bathroom. I’ll text if I feel better but if you don’t hear from me assume I went back to school -_-

Yann: No prob bro, feel better

Arthur: :( sorry man

Basile: Not feeling as bad as Eliott I bet lmaooooo

Arthur: Dude

Arthur Broussard removed Basile Savory from the group

Lucas pocketed his phone, feeling better now that he knew they wouldn’t be waiting for him. Though, he supposed he’d need somewhere to stay for the night to avoid Eliott killing him.

He thought he lost Eliott until he saw a familiar head of untameable hair storming away across the street, bounce in his step still there even when he was clearly upset.

“Eliott!”

Eliott turned around and saw Lucas, weariness and fury mingling in his eyes, even from this distance. Of all the times Lucas had told himself that Eliott hated him, this was the only time he thought it might be true. His face was illuminated by the light of the fountain he was standing in front of making the gray in his eyes stand out more and more the closer Lucas got.

“What?” Eliott asked, crossing his arms, but not making any moves to back away. “Don’t you think you’ve insulted me enough for one night?”

“I didn’t… I didn’t mean to insult you,” Lucas said, even though it was a lie. Eliott knew it too, raising his eyebrows in disbelief. Lucas backtracked, “Ok, I did mean to at the time, but I came to apologize.”

“Right.” Eliott still didn’t believe him, clearly.

Lucas didn’t know what else to say, felt like the words were on the tip of his tongue but they wouldn’t form fully. Unfortunately, when he didn’t know what to say, he got defensive. “You know what? I’m not sorry, then. You’ve made my life hell for years, this was barely a taste of what I’ve lived with.”

Eliott breathed out an incredulous gasp and shook his head. “I’ve made your life hell? Are you serious? You’re the one who’s been rude to me every chance you’ve gotten since we were like, twelve.”

“I wouldn’t have been if you hadn’t ditched me the moment it became clear I wasn’t quite up to your standards. You made the choice to abandon me, Eliott, not the other way around,” Lucas argued.

“Are you kidding me? I was ten! What was I supposed to say when the director of the school told me to take private lessons with him? I never wanted to stop hanging out with you, but you got all jealous and I didn’t know how to make it better! What could I have done?” Eliott shot back.

Lucas laughed mirthlessly, spreading his arms wide. “I don’t know… maybe tried, even a little bit? If you knew me at all, you would have known that I was never jealous of you, I just wanted you to see that I wasn’t ok. After all, you and I both know that I never would have just ditched you for no reason at all. The school could have been burning down and I still would have waited to make sure you got out before me.”

“I was ten!”

“That didn’t make it hurt any less. And lest you forget, I tried to stay friends with you, even when I knew things would never be the same, but you just weren’t that interested in me anymore. I never really saw anyone interest you other than Lucille.” Her name felt filthy on his tongue. Lucas had never really understood why he’d hated Lucille so much, other than the fact that she’d seemed to replace him in Eliott’s life. Sofiane had too, in a way, but Lucas didn’t harbor any hard feelings his way.

“You know what? Fuck you, Lucas. Lucille was there for me. She knew what it was like to be isolated from the rest of the group because she’d been put up on a pedestal she’d never asked to be put on,” Eliott spat.

Oh that was fucking rich. Lucas laughed even harder and even more humorlessly. “Oh, well, excuse me for not being as talented as you. Sorry I wasn’t at a high enough level for you to deign to talk to me. I was too busy being beaten by my father to be much good in the studio, I’m afraid.”

Eliott paused. “What the fuck, Lucas? What are you talking about?”

“Like you didn’t know? Every time we hung out during the summer you didn’t wonder why I never wanted to go home, why I flinched away whenever you or your mom or your dad tried to touch me? All those bruises I pretended didn’t exist?”

“You said you were clumsy—”

“And you believed it, Eliott!” Lucas was slightly out of breath and his voice was shaking. “You shouldn’t have believed it! You knew me better than even my parents did, and you didn’t even notice. Yann noticed, but I didn’t want to talk to him about it. I wanted to talk to you.”

Eliott looked pained when he responded, “I don’t— I was ten, I was wrapped up in ballet, and I didn’t notice a lot of things, Lucas. You can’t blame me for not guessing that you were… that things were happening to you that I didn’t know about.”

“I was wrapped up in ballet too, but I still noticed every little thing about you.”

“What do you want me to say? That you were a better friend? Sure, fine, you were soooo great, is that what you want to hear?” Eliott yelled.

“I want you to apologize!” It was all Lucas wanted, was some acknowledgement that Eliott at least understood why Lucas had distanced himself, why he couldn’t bear to be around him after a certain point. Eliott didn’t respond and Lucas clenched his fists at his sides. Was it really so hard to just say sorry, even if he didn’t fully mean it? “Too good for that?” Lucas spat, “Tell me, what’s the weather like all the way up there on your high horse?”

Eliott took a deep frustrated breath, wiggling his fingers like he either wanted to punch Lucas or a wall. Lucas was hoping for the latter, but the former was more likely. Eliott became calm all of a sudden, looking Lucas dead in the eye. “It’s actually really nice up here. Too bad you’ll never know.”

Then it was all just too much. All of Lucas’ insecurities about not being good enough bubbled to the surface on top of Eliott’s refusal to acknowledge that he’d, even unknowingly, made mistakes, and Lucas didn’t have a moment to think before he shoved Eliott, pushing him into the water of the fountain. Once his blind rage cleared he blinked with regret.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I did that,” he stammered, leaning to the edge of the fountain and peering at Eliott, soaked head to toe and sitting stunned on his ass in the water. Lucas held out his hand to pull Eliott out, not realizing how trivial a mistake he’d just made.

As he should have foreseen, Eliott grasped his hand and pulled, causing Lucas to tumble into the water as well. “Fuck!” he exclaimed, when he resurfaced, wiping water from his eyes, stumbling his way to a standing position.

When his vision cleared he noticed Eliott standing across from him, sheepish look in his eyes. “I’m sorry, that was a petty thing to say and a petty thing to do,” Eliott apologized.

Lucas didn’t know what to say. Of all the things he’d expected from Eliott in that moment, an apology was not one of them. It wasn’t the apology he’d wanted, but it showed Eliott was capable of uttering the words. Eliott shocked him further, continuing, “I’m sorry too, about how our friendship ended. If I would have known… I’d like to say I would have done things differently, been a better friend. I’m sorry for not knowing, too, it’s not your fault for not telling me. I highly doubt I would have either.”

Lucas stared at Eliott, wondering if he was going mad, imagining the whole thing. “I’m sorry too,” Lucas said, shocking himself even further, “For everything, not just tonight. All the ignoring you and the rude comments and everything… I’m sorry. I know you didn’t mean to be as dismissive as I thought you were.”

“Why?” Eliott asked, taking a step towards him. “You really don’t have a reason to apologize. I’ve been a shitty friend.”

Lucas shrugged, regretting what he was about to say before he said it, but yearning to say it even more. “Because against my better judgement I don’t think you’re so shitty anymore. And I don’t want you to think I am either.”

The water was still splashing them from where it came up in arcs from the center of the fountain, matting their hair down to their heads. Eliott somehow looked beautiful like this, Lucas realized, and with that realization came another. Eliott looked beautiful all the time, and it wasn’t just his obvious external beauty. He was beautiful down to his core, and that was part of what had angered Lucas for all these years, but now Lucas wanted Eliott to know he thought so. He also wanted Eliott to know that he thought his true beauty came from within him, no matter what mistakes he made when he was ten years old.

The lines between hate and love were really blurry, Lucas realized, really fucking blurry.

He held his hands up in front of his chest, cringing internally, thinking to himself what the hell are you doing? Eliott’s eyes went wide in surprise, then narrowed. “What are you doing?” he asked, voice eerily calm.

“In your ballet, didn’t you say that the partners come together like this when they finally meet? Once they face their fears and come together for the first time?” Lucas’ voice was no more than a hushed gasp, shallow breaths taken between the loud beats of his heart. Eliott’s fingers fluttered and Lucas almost retracted his hands, thinking himself a fool for doing what he was doing, for thinking Eliott might understand what he was trying to say with the gesture.

Lucas screwed his eyes shut in embarrassment, seconds away from dipping back under the water and hoping Eliott would forget the whole thing had ever happened, but then he felt a brush of fingers winding and clasping into his own. He folded his hands along with Eliott’s and slowly opened his eyes, seeing the same nervous look he was certain he wore reflected on Eliott’s face. Eliott’s thumb brushed the back of his hand absently, and Lucas was lost.

Their bodies came together in one fluid motion, Lucas didn’t even know who moved first, but suddenly Eliott’s hands were cupping his face and their lips were pressed together. Lucas ran his hands through the hair he couldn’t stop thinking about, realizing he’d been longing to do so for quite some time. Everything he’d ever wanted to do with Eliott came to him in an instant, as if there was a list he’d compiled somewhere in his head and subsequently ignored until Eliott’s kiss unlocked it.

Eliott’s tongue swept his lower lip, and Lucas opened his mouth further, inviting as much of Eliott in as he could. He raised up on relevé to reach Eliott better, loving the way Eliott smiled against his mouth as he did so.

The fountain was still spraying them, and they were still standing up to their knees in the water, but it somehow felt as natural as anything. Eliott pulled back a moment, breathing heavily and looking right into Lucas’ eyes. Kiss me again, Lucas tried to tell him with his eyes, Kiss me until I forget my own name.

Eliott laughed softly and brushed Lucas’ cheekbone, tracing the lines of water down his face, his neck, his chest. Lucas couldn’t do anything but stare back, completely blinded by what they had just done, how it had made him feel. Another realization struck him, the realization that this had been the kiss he had been waiting for all along. Maybe he hadn’t hated romance after all, he’d just hated himself for wanting something he’d never thought he’d be able to have.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long, fuck,” Eliott whispered against his mouth, and Lucas pulled away a bit to look up at him.

“Your favorite color is my eyes,” he said dumbly, and Eliott surged forward to kiss him again. Lucas knew they should probably get out of the fountain, but he also wanted to stay there forever, lest the spell be broken. “My favorite color is the color of your eyes too,” he admitted between kisses, needing to even the embarrassment factor between the two of them.

Eliott laughed gently. “Is that so?”

“Mmhmm.”

“What do you say we go dry off and continue elsewhere?” Eliott suggested and Lucas shook his head adamantly.

“I don’t want to go back to the real world.”

“Why not?”

“Because in the real world you won’t like me, and I’ll be forced to hate you again.”

Eliott pressed their foreheads together, cupping Lucas’ cheeks with his hands. “I’ll make you a promise, then.” Lucas nodded softly, asking for him to continue. “I promise that, no matter where we are, you’re it for me. It’ll always be you, the one that I love.”

Love, love, love.

Was it too soon for love, or had they been waiting too long? “Even in the real world?”

“Especially in the real world.”

Lucas considered this. “Ok.”

“Ok?”

“Ok.”

Eliott separated the two of them further, leading Lucas by the hand out of the fountain. When they started walking back to the school, neither one of them released their grip on the hand of the other. “Just so you know,” Lucas said as they walked, “You’re it for me too.”

He’d known it for a while, but he hadn’t wanted to know, covering it up in grudges based in miscommunication and ten year old bullshit. Eliott smiled down at him and pulled him closer as they continued their path, kissing the top of his head. Love, love, love.

#skam france #elu fic #elu ballet au #eliott demaury #lucas lallemant #last dance #elu

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athomewrebecka · 5 years

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Team At Home with Rebecka – Rebecka Evans & Lisa Keys

It’s taken me five weeks to process my experiences at the 2018 World Food Championships, and figure out how to wrap the entire adventure into just one blog post. I’m going to try to accomplish that goal – so hold on tight, it was a wild and crazy ride.

Returning To Defend My Title:

Returning to WFC 2018 as the reigning Bacon World Champion came with a new kind of pressure that I’ve never felt in Food Sport before. I was ready to take on the challenge of defending my 2017 Bacon World Title with an eager, exhilarating attitude , but I was also filled with apprehension and a weird sense of dread. Winning the same category two years in a row has only been achieved twice in WFC history; twice by Suzanne Clark in the Pasta Category (which has since been retired), and twice by Liz Kratz in the Chili Category. The pressure to repeat a win is real, and going for a three-peat escalates the entire event to a whole new level.

Contest induced insomnia began the moment I opened my WFC test kitchen. Instead of counting sheep to sleep, I spent most nights visualizing possible recipe creations that I could test the following day. I made dozens of recipes over the course of three months, and finally landed on a few concepts that needed a lot of work to become Top Ten worthy dishes. The sleepless nights and the never-ending task of developing recipes displays a brutally honest truth: the process of determining what a ten thousand dollar bacon recipe is an arduous process and not for the faint of heart.

My Team:

To stand any chance at another victory, I knew I had to have a seasoned food sport enthusiast on the At Home with Rebecka team. When I learned that my friend Lisa Keys had decided to take a year off from competing at World Food Championships, I jumped at the chance to ask her to be my sous chef, and thank God she agreed. I soon learned that Lisa and I had mind reading capabilities during the months that preceded WFC 2018. Together, we are a force to be reckoned with.

Who is Lisa Keys?

Sea World Orlando 2015

I met Lisa for the first time in 2015 at the First Annual – World Food Blogger Summit, held in Orlando, Florida. I was drawn to her sweet disposition and kind smile. We shared a seat on the bus to Sea World and talked like we’d known one another our entire lives. I learned that Lisa is an award winning food competitor, recipe creator, photographer, mother of two children (William and Caitlin), and wife to Bill Keys. She is also the owner and writer of Good Grief Cook. If you have not read her blog then I encourage you to take the time to get to know Lisa, and learn about her journey of loss, love, and her passion for cooking.

(You can access her works here: goodgriefcook.com Click HERE )

Lisa is also a Food Network CHOPPED CHAMPION (5/6/2014), a certified Food Champ, and a credentialed Steak Competition Association judge. Last but not least, Lisa is a grandmother, “Kiki,” to her beautiful granddaughter Annabelle.

Lisa’s resume is pretty darned impressive and her heart is made of gold. I love her like a sister, and feel a kindred connection like that of Anne Shirley’s bosom friend and kindred spirit Diana Barry (Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery). Lisa is my forever faithful friend. Thank you so much Lisa Keys for your brilliant mind, attention to detail, and award winning skills in the kitchen. I am honored by your willingness to take on the task of sous chef, and even more honored to call you my friend.

Blake my sous chef for Fight To Feed – Culinary Fight Club 2016

Rounding out Team At Home with Rebecka, my third team member and my sweet husband, Blake Evans. I call him my “Super Schlepper” and “Financier” since he is the man with the muscles and the money.

Blake schlepped all of our suitcases up and down the stairs several times, drove us to do all the contest grocery shopping, hung out with all my foodie pals, and listened to all the crazy WFC talk. My husband had no issue socializing, as he chatted up the VIP’s and connected with everyone we encountered.

Blake literally saved our bacon by running back to our condo twice during the Top Ten Round to get items we couldn’t find while competing. I’m the luckiest girl in the world to have my sweet man by my side with his big booming laugh, love, and support. Thanks babe for being my faithful, loving husband, and supporting me in my food sport addiction.

The sous chef apron looks good on you by the way! xoxo

My goal for WFC 2018:

This year my goal was to win of course, but in the event that a repeat Bacon Category victory was not meant to be, my real hope was just to make Top Ten. Praise the Lord, after the preliminary round we made Top Ten finishing 4th in the category.

Recipe Creation:

All WFC contestants are required to make a Structured Build recipe to “level the playing field” between professional chefs and home cooks. This year, Bacon Category contestants were required to make bacon pizza, utilizing a required sponsor ingredient: Red Gold Tomatoes. Competitors also presented a Signature Dish that showcases bacon as the star of the dish.

(To read the WFC Official Rules CLICK HERE)

After months of recipe creation and hundreds of changes, sleepless nights, a few tears, and the desire to throw my recipes across the room, I was extremely pleased with the final dishes. Lisa talked me off the ledge several times, and I returned the favor once or twice. I must reiterate, competitive Food Sport is an arduous process and not for the faint of heart. To fully grasp the enormity of recipe creation and contest preparation, a person must live the experience.

Structure Dish: BLT (Bacon, Lobster and Tomato Pizza) Food by Rebecka Evans Photo by Angela Castelli

My Bacon Lobster Pizza is the most delicious pizza I’ve ever made or eaten! The smokey flavor of Kountry Boy’s thick cut bacon is the perfect compliment to my Bacon Blush Alfredo Sauce. The sauce is made with a combination of bacon, Red Gold Tomatoes with Green Chili’s, Red Gold Petite diced tomatoes, fresh garlic, and Fiesta Italian Seasoning. These ingredients are then blended with my signature Alfredo sauce to create a luscious Bacon Blush Alfredo that pairs perfectly with fresh lobster meat. The crust is from my sponsors, Center Court Pizza and Brew, located in my hometown of Pearland, Texas. The pizza was grilled on Bull Outdoor Products (Steer Premium Cart Grill), with fresh grated asiago and fontina cheese, garnished with a ring of fresh herbed bacon. Dressed to impress, the head and tail of the lobster greeted the judges, as well as eight beautifully cooked bacon legs. The pizza scored a 95.75.

BLT (Bacon Lobster Tomato Pizza)

Signature Dish – BLT (Bacon, Lemon, and Tomato) Cupcakes – Round One

I was determined to bake a cupcake for World Food Championships 2018, testing at least eleven versions before landing on the final recipe. You see, I’ve been on a baking journey the past few months not only to push myself outside my comfort zone, but to prove to myself and the world that I could create an award winning bacon cupcake.

In all honestly, this cupcake was a true labor of love and a little hate too. The recipe underwent numerous changes, and was scrapped from my WFC roster not once, but twice before its final version. Although my husband and sous chef were not fans at first, I think I won them both over in the end. The judges must have liked it too because it finished 7th in the world with a score of 91.2853.

I love everything about this cupcake. The cake is super moist with a hint of lemon zest and mashed Red Gold Tomatoes with green chili’s; with the final touches of sugared bacon dust being folded in right before baking. Red Gold Tomatoes with Green Chili’s also find their way into the bacon tomato jam that is spread over the cupcake after cooling. The sweet and spicy jam tastes like heaven, and is so good that I can hardly resist the temptation of eating it right from the spoon. I added red pepper flakes for a slightly spicy finish, and topped it all off with delicious tomato infused butter cream frosting. It may sounds like a crazy concoction, but it is slap yo momma good!

BLT Cupcake-Official Description:

BLT Cupcake aka Bacon, lemon and tomato cupcake starts with a vanilla crumb cake laced with a hint of lemon zest and sugared bacon dust. The cake is topped with a savory-sweet tomato, bacon jam and then frosted with a swirl of vanilla and tomato butter cream, dressed with a bacon swizzle stick dipped in white chocolate and sparkling sugar.

The Progression of an Award Winning Cupcake:

As you can see, I take recipe creation very seriously! Scroll over the photos to see descriptions.

#1 The original idea: Bourbon Bacon with Vanilla filing and Cream Cheese Frosting

#2 Chocolate cupcake with cookie dough frosting and Candy Chocolate Bacon

#3 Candy chocolate bacon bow

#4 A hot mess!

#5 Chocolate cupcake with butter cream frosting and candy bacon

#6 Vanilla cupcake with sugar bacon, bacon jam, and tomato buttercream frosting

#7 Vanilla cupcake with bacon sugar, bacon jam. tomato butter cream frosting and bacon swizzle

#8 Cupcakes on a Pig on a plate

#9 Cupcakes on a pig plate with chocolate and tomato butter cream swirl

#10 Spiky tomato and bacon buttercream

#11 Almost there, Vanilla bacon cupcake with bacon jam, tomato-bacon swirl buttercream frosting

#12 Plating ideas and more frosting practice

#13 Almost perfect

#14 The final version 7th in the World

Top Ten on Natureware Plates

Choosing a Recipe for Top Ten:

So how do you choose a recipe to take to the Top Ten Challenge? Any decision I make could be the difference between a 10K win and last place. These are the two big questions that made my brain hurt the night I found out I would compete in Bacon Top Ten.

Do I make my third recipe and hope for the best?

Should I make my Structure Build or Signature Dish?

At first, my plan was to go into Top Ten with my pizza, but I wanted to see my scores for both dishes before deciding. I also had a third recipe waiting in the wings just in case I wanted to call an audible and be creative. Making a decision was hard, especially when considering the scores of my recipes. As you can see in the scores below, I went into Top Ten in 4th Place.

Both of my recipes scored well, with the pizza scoring slightly higher than the cupcake. This is where you can lose your mind second guessing the decision. For better or worse, I decided to make the cupcake and the rest is history. I didn’t win first place with the cupcake, however I managed to place 7th in the world as one of only two home cooks that made Top Ten this year. Thank the Lord for my sweet friend and sous chef Lisa Keys, as she stood by my side while I went crazy over making the decision to compete with the cupcake. I couldn’t have done it without her expert baking skills and world-class professionalism.

The stress of defending my Bacon World Title, and the decision to make my cupcake and not my pizza or third recipe really got to my psyche. Not to mention, everything that could go wrong in the Top Ten Round did. I burned every piece of bacon I cooked so had to re-make new batches, and with just 6 minutes to spare before the turn in window closed, we couldn’t find the red dye for the tomato butter cream frosting. This is when my husband Blake saved our bacon by running back to the condo to find the red dye. Thankfully, I purchased two bottles and one was in the condo. The other had fallen under a mixing bowl by our station where it stayed until clean up.

Official Scores:

A side note: Top Ten Bacon competitors were required to use Natural Tableware USA plates for presentation and Bacon Sponsors Indiana Kitchen Bacon. I think we did a pretty good job of showcasing the cupcakes on the required plate ware.

BLT (Bacon, Lemon, and Tomato) Cupcake Top Ten Round

Sponsors:

Special thanks to my personal sponsors Kountry Boys Sausage for providing me with delicious Kountry Boy’s Bacon and Center Court Pizza and Brew for their delicious pizza dough. I’d also like to thank the World Food Championships Staff, MMA Creative, Mike McCloud, Walmart, Red Gold Tomatoes, and Ankarsrum USA.

Walmart and World Food Championships

Kountry Boy’s Sausage

Red Gold Tomatoes

Natural Tableware USA

Ankarsrum USA

Center Court Pizza and Brew

Familiar Faces:

World Food Championships wouldn’t be the same without my foodie family, some familiar faces and new foodie friends alike. Sadly, I was so busy this year that I missed getting hugs and photos ops with everyone. Hugs, laughter and more Food Sport fun will have to be had at WFC 2019. I love you all and can’t wait until next year to see you.

I couldn’t do it:

I tried my best to pack all the 2018 World Food Championships events into one post but it’s just not possible since this post is already way too long! Stay tuned for more WFC Recap in the weeks to come. TBA

WFC 2018 Yacht Club Progressive Dinner

The Second Annual Grand Throwdown

Ava Marie Romero, my friend

See you all soon! RE

World Food Championships 2018 Recap It's taken me five weeks to process my experiences at the 2018 World Food Championships, and figure out how to wrap the entire adventure into just one blog post.

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