#Very Very Happy. he is handsome!!! and he has the kindest eyes imaginable i cannot fathom how gentle he looks

[omgrachwrites]

The Princess and The Duke - Chapter Five

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: As the Princess of  Spain, you were always supposed to marry King James of England to make  an alliance between Spain and England. When he marries a woman at his  court for love, you are married off to his best friend, Sirius Black the  Duke of Bedford to keep the alliance. However, the court is riddled  with secrets and a rebel in the North starts to rise against the Throne.  Royal AU.

Warnings: fluff, fluff and more fluff! Mentions of sex

Words: 2690

Disclaimer: This gif doesn’t belong to me!

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy this part, please let me know what you think and let me know if you would like to be tagged! I love you all! xxx

Chapter Five - Rainbow High

The whole world seemed to vanish as Sirius pulled you in for another warm passionate kiss, his slightly calloused hands cupping your cheeks. He only pulled away with a sheepish grin when King James started to whoop and cheer. You smiled in delight as Sirius took both of your hands in his own and lifted them to his swollen kiss bruised lips, his cheeks flushing pleasantly.

The guests showered you with pink flower petals that smelled so sweet and Sirius led you out of the chapel before anyone could properly congratulate you. A giggle escaped your lips as Sirius helped you onto your horse and you gazed down at your handsome husband.

“Can we ride through the villages?” you asked, biting your lip, “I know that some of the Lords won’t like it.”

Sirius smiled as he held your hand, “of course we can Y/N, and it doesn’t matter about anyone else today, because it’s just you and me. How are you feeling?”

He was so sweet to ask, you imagined that you would feel more troubled after your wedding. But, you didn’t, you felt happy and incredibly lucky. Though, you were nervous about what would come to pass that evening, you would have to do your duty as a wife, “I’m nervous,” you smiled bashfully, and you could hardly tell him why.

But, he gave you the kindest smile, “I promise you that you don’t have to worry about a single thing. I won’t hurt you Y/N.”

You nodded at him as your thumb stroked against his cheek, “I believe you Sirius.”

It took a little while but soon enough you were all riding out of that magical, beautiful glade, you and Sirius were riding side by side as husband and wife should be. As you reached the first village – Amelia’s village – and dismounted, you hesitated as you felt a rough hand on your elbow and heard a cold sneering voice in your ear.

“You should never walk into a village; you cannot trust these retched peasants, Duchess.”

You were momentarily lost for words as you looked at the cruel hard face, “she knows more about these people than you do, Malfoy!” you had never heard Sirius so angry, it looked like those soft grey eyes were on fire as he glared at Lucius Malfoy.

Before things could escalate, you gently led Sirius away, kissing him in thanks as he wrapped a protective arm around your waist and you walked into the village together. Lucius Malfoy terrified you but he was a very rich man, a great asset to England so you had learned to tolerate him. You suspected that the King and Queen had the same views as you; you certainly knew that your husband did.

The peasants smiled at you brightly as you presented them with food and alms. Beneath the sight of God they blessed you and a melancholy feeling filled your chest as you teared up. You would miss the people of France; you’d miss their kind words and their simple ways.

“Duchess!” you heard a cry of excitement and you grinned as the little girl ran up to you and you immediately got on your knees and wrapped your arms around her, ignoring the tuts of the Lords behind you, “congratulations Duchess,” Amelia smiled up at you and you kissed her cheek softly, she was such a beautiful little girl.

“I’m going to miss you when I go to England, I have to leave before the week is out,” you sighed as that overwhelming sadness filled your chest.

“Don’t go Duchess; there are bad men in England.”

The little girl’s words sent a chill down your spine but you forced a brave smile onto your face, “you’ll forever be in my thoughts Amelia,” you kissed her forehead.

Though, as you rode out of her quaint village her words rang in your head and it didn’t seem like a very good omen. As big and as beautiful as your wedding was, the wedding feast was bigger and more beautiful. It was more beautiful than you ever thought it could be and for that, you were very thankful. The feast was held in the gorgeous rose gardens outside of the chateau and you could smell the gorgeous scent of the growing fruit in the nearby fields. It seemed that Sirius had chosen this location with you in mind but that was only a simple fantasy in your head.

There were many, many courses of the wedding feast and they were all so delicious, maybe too delicious. You and Sirius decided to send over the best courses to your favourite guests. It was a joy for you to see the happiness on your friends’ faces as they enjoyed the magnificent courses. Sophia seemed especially happy with the honey glazed gammon and it made your heart sing when she shared it with Remus, a bashful smile on both of their faces.

Queen Lily gave you a tight sweet smelling hug and she beamed at you as she took a seat at your side, “it really has been a beautiful day Y/N, you seem very happy,” she smiled as she took a generous swallow of wine.

You flushed as you looked over at your beautiful husband who couldn’t seem to tear his eyes from you, “I am happy,” you smiled at Lily, “I didn’t think that I could be, but I really am.”

Lily hummed, “I think that he’s in love with you, Y/N.”

You felt a thrill wrack through your body at Lily’s statement and you began to feel a little light headed, “we’ve only known each other for a matter of months, and we haven’t even been intimate yet. How could he be in love with me?”

Lily giggled at you as she shook her head, “have you not seen the way that he looks at you when you look away? Have you not heard of love at first sight? I hope that you too will be more fortunate in creating a child than me and James,” she sighed with a sad look on her face.

You smiled gently as you took her hand, “your son will come, Your Majesty, I’m sure of it.”

You looked back at Sirius, biting your lip and you saw that he was in deep conversation with Peter. You felt butterflies in your stomach as you watched him easily laugh and you watched the way his long fingers dove into his hair. Could Lily be right? Could he honestly be in love with you?

The rest of the feast passed by in a flurry of dancing and drinking of honeyed wine and spied mead. You noticed that Sirius was holding himself back from drinking too much, Remus on the other hand drank like a fish; maybe it was to make himself less nervous around Sophia. He even danced with her a few times. You felt at home at Sirius’ side and you hoped that he felt the same way about you.

All too soon the guests were calling for the bedding ceremony and nerves – and excitement – fizzled in your stomach. Sirius easily lifted you into his strong safe arms; he must have noticed your worried face because he kissed your cheek gently.

“Please don’t worry Y/N, like I said before, I’m not going to hurt you,” he promised and you nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck.

He easily carried you up to his chambers, the sounds of women giggling and men shouting followed you into the chateau. For the first time that day, you wished that your mother was here to prepare you for what you had to do. You weren’t sure whether it was pure lust or it was the wine you had been drinking but you wanted him. You wanted this beautiful, kind man.

As soon as you were alone, you kissed him long and deep, still safely secured in his arms, Sirius groaned into your mouth as he kissed you back. As the tip of his tongue touched your bottom lip, you sighed, clutching at his hair as you slid your hand down his chest. After a while, he pulled away looking dazed with swollen lips and you were sure that you had never seen anyone more beautiful.

“Wait,” he started breathlessly as he bit his bottom lip and stared at yours, the glint of lust in his eyes and you felt your heart thump in your chest, “we don’t have to Y/N,” he muttered as he cupped your cheeks, looking at you intently, there was lust and kindness in his eyes but you were sure that there was something else in there too.

You felt a flush grow on your cheeks as you rested your forehead against yours, catching your breath as your fingers stroked through his hair. He swore under his breath as you tugged gently at the tendrils, “I know Sirius and you’re so sweet, but please Sirius I want to. I want you. I want to know what it feels like to be completely and utterly yours, show me Sirius. Show me what it’s like.”

“Are you sure?” he asked kindly and when you nodded, anticipation filling your chest, he sat you on the edge of the comfortable bed, “we’ll go slowly, and I’ll be gentle. If you change your mind, please tell me to stop,” he kneeled on the floor and pressed a sweet kiss against your ankle as he removed your uncomfortable shoes.

You swallowed, it sent a thrill through you to see Sirius on his knees in front of you and you nodded as you braced your hands on his shoulders, “I promise, I’ll tell you.”

Sirius was true to his word; he kissed you and handled you gently, almost like you were made of glass, only progressing when you begged him to. You never thought that you would beg for anything, especially not a man but Sirius seemed to be worth it, he made your head spin and your heart speed up.

You knew that you were done for when Sirius’ head disappeared underneath your skirts and his hands explored your body, gentle but demanding. Gasping out in pleasure when Sirius found the ideal destination, you let yourself fall back on the bed, tugging at his hair to bring him closer, relishing in the groan he made against your skin.

“Sirius,” you whined as your hair spread around your head like a halo and you wished that you could feel this type of pleasure for the rest of your days.

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Sirius didn’t know that it could be like this, he never knew that sex could be this intimate or be this good, he’d never put his heart into sex before. Maybe it was because; subconsciously he was waiting for Y/N. He couldn’t quite believe that he was married to a Princess but Y/N was someone that he cared about and he hoped that she cared about him too.

The room was warm and comfortable as Y/N lay in Sirius’ arms and he trailed his fingers over her warm naked skin. She smiled brightly up at him as she stroked her fingers through his messy tangled hair as she leaned up to kiss him softly. Y/N looked wrecked with messy hair, swollen lips and sparkling eyes. Sirius only imagined that he looked the same.

“Are you feeling okay? Did I hurt you?” Sirius asked, trailing his fingers over her stomach.

Y/N smiled, “at first but I was told to expect that. And, I’m fine, so fine that I want to do it all over again,” she trailed a hand down his chest with a sly smirk on her face.

Sirius’ breath hitched as he caught her hand before it could disappear beneath the sheets, “please Y/N, give me a second,” he chuckled as she pouted, “I hope you’re pregnant you know.”

A strange look passed over Y/N’s face as she averted her eyes, “well, at least our child will have a lot of siblings,” she bit her lip and Sirius looked down at her in confusion.

“What are you talking about?”

Y/N shook her head, “Sirius, its alr-,”

Sirius shook his head as he cut her off, “I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Y/N looked up at him with a forlorn expression on her face, “oh God,” she covered her face with her hands, “I was told that you had a lot of ba- a lot of children in England and France.”

Sirius huffed and rolled his eyes, he’d heard that ridiculous rumour about himself too, “Y/N, I promise, I know that I’ve been with a lot of women but I was always careful, I always prevented a child. Any child that I have will be yours, please believe me.”

Y/N nodded as she cupped his cheek, “I do believe you, I’m sorry, it was something that I was worried about. I feel silly for believing the rumour.”

Sirius shook her head as he pulled the beautiful woman closer, “no don’t be sorry my love.”

Y/N grinned up at him, “you know, it usually takes more than one try to make a baby.”

Sirius bit his lip as he smirked, “oh Princess, you are insatiable,” he growled and pulled her so she was straddling his waist.

She giggled and gasped at his quick movements before throwing the sheet back and leaned down to kiss Sirius deeply. They were certainly in for a passion filled night.

In the morning, Sirius was woken up by a soft kiss from his wife; he smiled as he opened his eyes, squinting in the bright room. Y/N was sitting upright on the bed as she gazed down at him, she looked so beautiful, like an angel with the golden early morning sunlight streaming behind her, and he couldn’t quite believe that she was his.

“Good morning Y/N, you look beautiful,” Y/N flushed and smiled prettily at his words as he sat up and that’s when he noticed the numerous plates on the bed, all full of wonderful things, “what’s all this?”

Y/N smiled as she picked up a goblet and took a swallow from it, “I thought we deserved an amazing breakfast for our first morning as newlyweds,” she picked up a morsel of sweetbread, slathered it in honey and held it up to Sirius’ lips, her eyebrow raised as she smirked at him.

Sirius chuckled as he opened his lips and let Y/N feed him the sickly sweet morsel, Sirius groaned as the sweet and tart flavours danced along his tongue and he smiled up at Y/N, “that tastes very sweet, though, not as sweet as you,” he teased, wrapping an arm around her waist.

“Sirius!” Y/N gasped with a giggle as she looked away from him, her cheeks deepening in colour.

“Now you’re getting nervous, after last night?” Sirius smirked kissing her cheek; he hesitated when he saw the worried look in her eyes, “what’s the matter love?”

“I just, I’ll really miss this place. I don’t want to go to England,” she sighed as she looked around at the room, an expression of wistful longing on her face.

Sirius bit his lip as he held back a sigh; he knew exactly what Y/N was feeling because he felt the same. He’d miss this beautiful land and its people, and its easy pleasures but they both had a duty to do as the Duke and Duchess of Bedford, “I’ll miss it too, I wish we could stay here until our dying days but we made a promise to the King and Queen,” Y/N nodded and Sirius took her hand, “England will be great, I promise.”

“What about the bad people at court? Because there will be bad people, I don’t want to be walking to my death by going to England.”

Sirius frowned at her words and they troubled him perhaps more than they should and he shook his head as he pulled his fretting wife into his arms, “I’ll protect you from every bad person who dares to cross our path,” he pressed a kiss to her forehead, “I promise Y/N.”

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@smiithys @elayneblack @amelie-black @siriuslyjanhvi @pregnant-piggy @lindatreb @mabelle-cherie @hxrgreeves @britishspidey @mads-bri @classicrocketqueen @sxtansqueen @hufflepuffzutara @missmulti @bruxa0007 @ourstarsailor @fific7 @galwithbluethoughts​ @2410slb​ @sunles​ @krismeunicornbaobei​

#sirius #sirius black #sirius orion black #pads #padfoot #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black fluff #sirius black au #royal au #royalty au #au #sirius black x reader #Sirius Black x reader insert #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x you #you x sirius black #sirius x reader #sirius x reader insert #sirius x y/n #sirius x you #you x sirius #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #james potter #lily potter #jily #james x lily #lucius malfoy #harry potter au

[askayakashi]

Yakumo Koizumi

A/N: I need more writing for this fandom so I guess I’ll start with adding my own. Here’s a piece for everyone’s favorite professor. Please feel free to jump into my ask box with any requests!

-Admin Chey

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As you strolled through the street, clutching the small package to your chest, you couldn’t help but smile as you imagined giving your friend the gift you had gotten him. After asking your father and you to sit for a painting-- a study in poses, he said-- Aoi had gifted you the art, refusing to take payment for it. You had racked your brain for a way to repay him, against his insistence that there was no need, and finally stumbled across a beautiful set of wooden paint brushes that you deemed worthy of the artist. While smiling smugly down at the package, knowing he would have to accept it, you didn’t notice that you weren’t paying attention to the road until you bumped into a stranger. 

The impact caused you to stumble, almost dropping the package in your arms, but before you could feel the crash of colliding with the ground, a strong hand grabbed you by the arm, just above your elbow, and stabilized you. You were mortified at your obvious lack of caution while walking and turned around sharply to face the person.

“Pardon me! I’m so sorry. I must pay closer attention as I walk; please forgive me!” you half-shouted in alarm, bowing deeply in apology and praying that the stranger was not too upset with you. 

“On the contrary,” the familiar voice started, “I can’t imagine a happier surprise than the circumstances that led to my running into you, my Sweet Doll.” 

You straightened up as your eyes met with the crimson eyes of your father’s close friend and observed his ever-gentle smile as he teased you, “Or should I say, with your running into me?” 

You were suddenly overcome with relief-- not only was the person that you had inconvenienced not upset, but it also turned out to be Professor Yakumo, whose presence had always been a comforting one since you were a little girl. At least, that was how it used to be. Recently, the way he always seemed genuinely happy to see you would trigger a nervous fluttering in your stomach. While you always held a gentle respect and admiration for the man, you had more recently begun to develop a sense of overwhelming delight in hearing him call you by his favorite nickname for you.

Ignoring the increased pace of your heartbeat, you gave him a smile in return and greeted him cheerfully.

 “Are you out performing a delivery for your father, my Doll? Nothing would make me happier than to have the opportunity to escort you in my carriage.” 

You smiled genuinely at his kindness. Regardless of your confusing feelings for the man, he truly was the kindest man that you had the pleasure of knowing. 

“Not today, Professor. I’m actually dropping off a present for my friend at the Raccord Milk Hall.” You didn't miss the way his smiled widened slightly. You overheard him mention to your father how glad he was that you had recently seemed to be surrounded by good friends, citing that he didn’t want you to miss out on making important memories in your youth. The fact that he cared so deeply about your happiness only helped to further your admiration of him. “You see, my friend recently painted a portrait of Father and I, and I wanted to repay his kindness.” You gestured to the package in your arms and he was pleased by your declaration.

“Then it is an even greater coincidence that we are on our way to the bookstore next door to the Milk Hall. Please allow me the honour of accompanying you there.”

He offered you his elbow and you took it as he walked you to the carriage. You tried to suppress the butterflies that seemed to flutter at the thought of riding with him. It was far from the first time that you would be riding alone with the man, having often been offered rides to and from school. However, that had been before you began to notice the change in your feelings for the esteemed professor. You graciously, if not shyly, accepted his hand as he helped you into the carriage before it registered in your head that he had said “we” and not “I” when he mentioned the bookstore as his destination. You balked as you entered the carriage, realizing that you were not the only guest that he was accompanying. 

Two beautiful young women sat on one side of the cabin together, arms linked, and looked up in curiosity upon your entrance. You took a seat across from them silently as your eyes studied the floor. You had no intention of being rude, but the surge of foreign emotions that bubbled up inside your chest confused you into a stupor. The idea of jealousy was not an unknown emotion, but the disappointment that you felt weighing on you surprised you to no end. 

For a moment, you had let yourself believe that you were the only girl upon whom the professor doted so lovingly, but felt a fool when you saw the beautiful girls across from you. Of course the handsome professor was not solely smitten with a girl who was practically still a child when he could have any woman he wanted. 

“Hello,” the unexpectedly kind voice broke you out of your internal debate as you met eyes with the beauty who spoke, “I am Miyami, and this is Hiyoko.” She gestured to the girl sitting in front of you who beamed at you with a mischievous look in her eye. Miyami smiled warmly and continued, “I haven’t seen you at the university before; are you coming with us to return some books?”

Before you could answer, the professor finished speaking with the driver and gracefully climbed into the carriage, taking the remaining seat beside you. 

“I wasn’t aware that anyone else would be joining us, professor. Won’t you introduce us to your friend?” The girl sitting across from you -Hiyoko- smiled teasingly in your direction as she asked her question. You willed yourself to smile in return, but you knew it must look forced. The situation was making you uncomfortable, if only because you didn’t have the privacy to decode the different thoughts swimming around in your head. 

You couldn't help but admire the beauty of the girls in front of you: one with a lively disposition of and the other radiating kindness. You tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, suddenly feeling self-conscious of yourself.

“Ladies, allow me to introduce you to L/N F/N.” You felt your chest tighten minutely at the introduction. Something about hearing his voice say your name, rather than the nickname he always used with you, made you feel oddly distant from the man who was sitting mere inches away from you. However, this feeling was quickly swept away by a burning heat in your cheeks at the girls’ responses.

“Professor!” Hiyoko gasped excitedly, raising her hand to cover her smirk as she glanced between the two of you. Her friend continued, “I had thought you surely exaggerated her beauty when you spoke of her. But I can clearly see that is not the case.” Your cheeks burned impossibly warmer at the compliment and the insinuation that he had spoken of you often enough for the young women to know you by name alone.

“How fortunate of us to get to meet the girl with whom the professor is so smitten.” Hiyoko continued in a teasing tone, oblivious to your ever-growing blush. Glancing to the man at your side, you found him gently smiling down at you. 

“Excuse my students, Doll, it seems they have not yet learned the art of subtlety.” He chuckled pointedly as he glanced at the girl in front of you who seemed unperturbed. So these girls were his students. If you hadn’t been so dejected at the thought of him pursuing the girls in front of you, you might have noticed the western history book sitting in Miyami’s lap-- the very subject that he taught at the university.

“How lucky you are to have such a charming man as the professor pursuing your heart. I must say I almost prefer listening to him talk about you than about the western countries.”

“Hiyoko, I would wish that you don’t embarrass L/N with your exaggeration.” The professor cut the girl’s joking off with a laugh of his own. “She will think that I am incompentent a professor if she believes she is the only subject of which I discuss with my students.” Your heart lightened at the soft laughter that seemed to fill the cabin and willed your blush to cool as you spoke. 

“I do not mind much if you should speak of me to your students.” You said, trying to hold back the happiness threatening to burst out of your chest at the thought of him truly only having eyes for you. “But perhaps it is only fair if you also speak of your students to me, so that I may be on an even footing upon meeting them.” You looked into his eyes as you spoke the second half, giving him a smile to let him know you were only half-teasing.

 “L/N is quite right, Professor. That seems only fair that you also speak of Hiyoko and I to L/N.”

“Indeed,” Hiyoko agreed with a laugh. “I am wounded that you do not speak of us. Though, I cannot blame you much, I suppose, since lovers have much more interesting things to talk about.”

The girl’s words and exaggerated wink stopped your heart for a split second as you registered what she had said. The blush that had previously begun to reside returned in full force, painting your entire face a shade of red as you stuttered, “L-l-l-lovers? No, the professor and I- we’re not- er-”

Your eyes searched for his in a panic as you wondered what he had possibly been telling his students. However, ever the gentleman, the professor kindly dismissed the notion.

“Ladies, please do not offend Y/N with your assumptions.” He glanced down at you, without a hint of embarrassment in his eyes, and his gentle smile calmed your racing heart. “While it is no secret that I adore her whole-heartedly, she is still young, and has much life ahead of her to live yet before I would ask her to properly consider my feelings.” He spoke to the girls, but his eyes were locked on yours and you felt giddy at the promise in his words. He would wait for you, but he was determined to be yours, should you so choose.

You smiled shyly in return and found yourself becoming lost in his eyes, the eyes that you had spent a lifetime looking into. Eyes that congratulated you on your achievements, encouraged you in your ventures, and assured you in your convictions as you grew. The man who waited patiently and whose declarations of devotion, while oft bringing a blush to your cheeks, never made you uncomfortable. As he stared back into your eyes, the loose strand  once again slipped from the cherry blossom pin holding up your hair and he reached up and grasped the strand between two fingers, gently brushing it back behind your ear. 

It was not until you heard two synchronized sighs that you remembered you were not alone in the carriage and looked up to find the girls smiling longingly at the scene in front of them. You cast your gaze down to the package in your lap, fiddling with the strings with which it is secured, as the embarrassment swelled within you at having such an intimate moment be seen by near-strangers. 

However, Miyami seemed to notice your discomfort and skillfully changed the topic of the conversation. 

“So you never did answer my question,” She nodded to the package in my lap. “Are you also headed to the bookstore?”  

“Ah, no. I’m actually delivering a gift to a friend next door.” Glancing down at the lap in front of you, you saw the book Hiyoko was holding to be a book that you had once borrowed from Ginnoji. You excitedly asked her about it and were happy as she shared her thoughts on it. You enjoyed the conversation, but could feel Yakumo’s eyes on your the whole time, wearing a smile as he watched you excitedly converse with the girl.

Before you knew it, you had arrived at your destination and the professor helped the girls out of the carriage, offering his hand to them as they stepped out. However, when you had exited the carriage, he kept the grip on your hand and brought it to his lips. You blushed as he placed a soft kiss on your knuckles and glanced up at you from beneath his eyelashes. 

“I apologize for my students. Believe me, I had no intention of making you uncomfortable and, while I am not reserved about my feelings for you, it is not fair to expect you to be comfortable with others discussing it as well. I will ask that they refrain from doing so in the future.” His eyes held an ounce of sadness, and any embarrassment from the ride quickly evaporated as you rushed to reassure him. 

“Please, don’t apologize.” You blurted, glancing away in embarrassment before steeling yourself and looking into his eyes as you continued. “I may not know much about love, but I do know that you have always been kind to me. I have never be embarrassed by your transparency and your students are very kind. I was simply surprised to find,” you suddenly trained your eyes on the ground, no longer able to face him as you continued with your admission, “That it was not simply out of kindness for your friend’s daughter that you’ve always doted on me, but out of a genuine affection.” 

You felt shame tint your cheeks as you admitted that you had always thought his words to be a jest, but his light chuckle grabbed your attention and you trained your eyes on his smiling ones. 

“Your candor is one of the many qualities of yours that I find myself ever moved by.” He seemed overjoyed by your admission of finally accepting his feelings to be genuine, his eyes shining with a brightness you had never seen. Suddenly, something over your shoulder caught his eye and his expression became amused.

“Now, I’m sure you must be eager to deliver that gift to your friend.” He abruptly changed the subject, releasing your hand. You let it fall to your side, tensing your fingers at the strange emptiness that came with the loss of his touch. “It was, as always, a blessing to find myself in your company today.” He bowed his head softly but found your eyes again. “However, I do have one parting request if you would be so kind as to indulge me?”

You felt your eyebrows raise in question and you tilted your head quizzically as he continued.

“When you are with me, you needn’t call me Professor.” The corners of his eyes crinkled with the strength of his smile.  “There is nothing I want more than to be able to hear my given name on your lips. ” 

Your heart began to beat erratically and the butterflies in your stomach returned in full force as you stuttered out a reply. 

“Yes, Prof-er I mean--” You glanced away as you finally stuttered out his name in a whisper. “K-ko-Koizumi.” 

You swore you heard a quiet gasp, but when you met his eyes again, his sweet smile had returned.

“Enjoy your evening, my Sweet Doll. I look forward to the next time I can be graced with your presence.” 

With a final dip of his head, he turned into Ginnojo’s store. You saw the book-lender himself speaking quietly with Miyami, a blush gracing both of their faces as you turned toward Raccord’s front door only to find Oji-san out front with his pipe. 

“You sure do have him wrapped around your finger,” He teased as you walked by him, feeling even the tips of your ears burning with a blush. Just as you glanced up to ask him about Aoi’s whereabouts, the boy in question descended the stairs and glanced up at you. 

You hoped against hope that presenting the gift to the boy in front of you would distract him from your current abashed state, but even without using his powers, he couldn’t ignore the color that dusted your cheeks.

“Why the hell is your face so red? Do you have a fever?” Ever the mother hen, Aoi huffed in exasperation as he grabbed a glass from behind the bar and filled it with water. “Why would you come all this way if you’re not feeling well?” He sat it down in front of you and placed the back of his hand to your head before putting his hand on his hip. “What’s going on?”

You ignored the soft snicker behind you of Oji-san trying to hold in his laughter and focused on the task at hand, holding his gift out to him, vowing to let yourself think about the events of the day once you’re home in bed where no one can see your blush.

#ayakashi romance reborn #ayakashi rr #yakumo koizumi #aoi #koga kitamikado #nachi #kuya #ginnojo #yura #toichiro yuri #shizuki #kuro #oji #gaku #kagemaru #akiyasu kurahashi #tatsuomi oyama #ayakashi koga #ayakashi yakumo #ayakashi shizuki #ayakashi aoi #ayakashi kuya #ayakashi kuro #ayakashi ginnojo #ayakashi tatsuomi #ayakashi akiyasu #ayakashi kagemaru #ayakashi gaku #ayakashi oji #ayakashi yura

[peaceisadirtyword]

Invisible (Ivar/Reader)

A/N: Hello! I’m sorry for being so absent these days! Seriously uni is killing me, and to make things better, I’m sick😂 so I can barely study or write as I have a constant headache. But I wrote this a few days ago, hoping to post it for my birthday or for Vikings premiere, but I forgot so I'm posting it now... It’s just some idea I had a while ago when I was feeling a bit angsty and it’s probably very bad, but I’m posting it anyway... I want to do two or three more parts and include one of the requests I have for Ivar in my inbox! I hope you like it♥️

Btw I won’t post anything about the new episode until the weekend as I don’t want to spoil anything to anyone, but if someone has already watched it and want to talk about it send me a message! I'm dying to talk about it with someone! 

Again, sorry for being so inactive! I have some fics to read and I hope I can answer to your comments and your messages tonight!💕

Warnings: Angst (an attempt), Ivar is an asshole, there are a lot of insecurities for both of them and please don’t let anyone treat you like that in your life. Don’t be like me and the reader.

Words: 3510 I don’t know what’s happening to me these days

gif isn’t mine, it belongs to @bloody-imagines 

Kattegat had grown considerably during the years, the trade and the growth in population had enlarged the city. Though when you arrived it was already big, it had grown even more. 

There was a lot of people living in Kattegat, and you knew almost all of them.

You had been brought to Kattegat as a slave, after being sold by your father, who had gotten married after your mother's death and whose new wife seemed to have a problem with you living on her house. 

Queen Aslaug had bought you, after the slave trader told her you'd been cooking and cleaning for your father for years. She had put you in the kitchen to cook, and then as her personal slave, washing her clothes, making her bed and cleaning her room. She always treated you well, seeing you as the daughter she'd always wanted to have. 

Aslaug ended up freeing you, even offering you a small house near the Hall. Somehow, the queen and her family had grown fond of you, and even Floki, who had be the one who taught you the language and the viking culture, seemed to like you. 

Your relationship with the sons of the queen had been... Weird. At first, you were scared of them; you were just a little christian girl who had never set her eyes on a man, let alone a viking man. They were big, fierce and you had seen them training on the woods. Their hungry eyes had followed you the first days, while you served dinner or cleaned the hall. 

Ubbe had been the kindest to you, smiling softly at you and calling your name with a gentle voice, though his big eyes always roamed over your body whenever you approached him to fill his cup. Hvitserk hadn't been that subtle, biting his lip and reaching to caress your waist and your thighs while you served dinner, his eyes glued to your chest. 

Sigurd hadn't paid much attention to you until you had sat next to him on a feast, listening to him playing the oud. He had tried to kiss you after a while, kiss that you had awkwardly avoided, blushing and muttering something about Aslaug calling you. 

And Ivar... He seemed to hate you. The first time you saw the terrifying cripple of whom everyone had talked about since you arrived you thought he was the most handsome man you'd ever seen.

His piercing blue eyes had looked at you intensely, making you blush, and his brows had furrowed together while he waited for you to fill his empty cup. It had resulted in you spilling the mead all over him, which had enraged him. Fortunately, Ubbe had intervened before he could hurt you, but since then Ivar had been cruel with you.

When Aslaug freed you, he had argued, saying they needed the thralls and even offered to buy you himself to be his personal slave. The thought hadn't exactly bothered you, as you really liked him, but his cruel smile had hinted you that you would have had a bad time. 

He didn't like the fact that you were free and he wasn't able to torment you constantly. 

Anyway, and even if you considered yourself pathetic and stupid for it, you kept pining after him. It didn't matter how many times he tortured you, teased you or insulted you, your heart kept beating faster whenever you saw him, and something between your legs turned on when you saw him training with his brothers, working on the forge or even crawling around. 

"She's looking at you again" Ubbe smiled teasingly at his little brother, who scowled and kept sharpening his knife, sitting next to the beach and with his back leant onto a rock.

"She's annoying"

"She's hot" Hvitserk smirked softly while looking at you from afar. You were helping Helga to clean the fishes the boys and Floki had captured that morning, but your eyes wandered over Ivar sometimes, and Ubbe had caught you twice now. 

"She's really nice" Sigurd glared at his brothers "Ivar does not deserve her attention, Y/N deserves a man, a real viking who can satisfy her and make her happy, who does not torture her and who actually can walk" 

"Sigurd" Ubbe glared at him, and even Hvitserk pressed his lips together. 

Ivar clenched his jaw, but instead of stabbing his brother, he smirked.

"You're not talking about yourself, are you brother? Because I don't think you can satisfy her or make her happy considering the fact that she rejected you once" he chuckled "You can try and marry her, though, you'd do me a favor" 

"Enough, both of you" Ubbe scolded, sighing "I think Y/N is the only one who truly knows how her man should be"

"It's a waste that she only looks at Ivar" Hvitserk groaned "I would happily satisfy her"

"Use one of those tricks that you use with the thralls" Ivar scoffed "She was one of them, so it should work"

"Ivar" Ubbe shook his head "Stop being mean to her"

"I'm not" he replied "I just find her annoying and clingy, I'd love it if she found some other man and let me alone"

"She's the only woman who has ever shown interest in you" Sigurd chuckled "And if you keep being a prick to her, she will be the last"

"I don't want her, she's a christian that thinks that she can now worship our gods and behave like one of us. She's not a viking, she's weak and cannot fight, and she's too small"

"What's wrong with her being small, Ivar?" Hvitserk shrugged "Small or big, she's a woman, her size does not matter when she's under you, with her legs around your waist and moaning as you pound into her" he smirked and Ubbe chuckled, agreeing with his brother "And I could teach her how to fight, you know" he winked at an annoyed Ivar, who blushed when his brother mentioned the sex part. 

"I want a viking woman" he repeated "Not her"

"She's coming" Ubbe cleared his throat "Not a word, Ivar"

Helga and you approached the brothers, with a stewpot and some bowls.

"The food is ready" Helga smiled while you left the stewpot on the floor and started filling the bowls before passing them to the boys. Ubbe and Sigurd smiled and thanked you, Hvitserk practically had no time for doing that as he shoved the soup down his throat immediately, and Ivar took the bowl from your hands without even looking at you. While Helga went to give Floki, who was working on a boat, his bowl, you sat down next to Hvitserk who was devouring the soup, smiling at him.

"Do you like it?" You raised a brow and Hvitserk moaned.

"It's amazing" he nodded "Did you make it?"

You nodded, proud of yourself. You had spent almost the entire morning making the soup, knowing that the boys had been training and fishing and would be hungry. 

"It's really good, Y/N" Ubbe smiled at you "Thanks"

"You're welcome, I'm glad you..." A sudden noise startled you. Ivar had let the bowl fall on the floor, spilling his content with a disgusted scowl present on his face "Like it" you finished your sentence in a whisper, knowing that he was about to say something hurtful.

"It's the most disgusting thing I've ever eaten" he spat, his eyes sending daggers to you "If you don't know how to cook, then don't do it" you looked away, ashamed and angry at the same time. 

"Ivar" Ubbe looked at his brother "What...?"

"If you don't want it, give it to Hvitserk" Sigurd glared at him "But Y/N has spent a good time making this for us, and you should appreciate it"

"I didn't ask her to do it" he shrugged "And if she doesn't know how to make a simple soup, it's not my fault... Now I understand why mother freed her" 

You looked at you feet, trying not to cry. It had been an amazing morning. You'd found some flowers at your door that morning, which had made you the happiest person in Kattegat. You had been happy thinking that they could be Ivar's, but his behavior in that moment made it very clear; it definitely hadn't been him.

"Shut up" Ubbe was now angry, one thing was that his brother didn't like you, he could understand that, but humiliating and insulting you was another "You're acting as a spoiled little brat"

"That's what he is" Sigurd shrugged "It's what you become when you've always been mommy's boy"

Ivar gripped his knife, and you looked at him with wide eyes, afraid he'd hurt one of his brothers.

"It's okay" you quickly got up, clearing your throat "Helga is cooking the fish now... Maybe you'll like it more, Ivar" you tried to smile at him, but his annoyed glare mad your smile fade away "I'll tell her to add a few more pieces, so you won't be hungry" you muttered while picking up the empty bowl and walking over Floki's house, trying to swallow your tears. 

Helga turned around when she heard you entering the house, but her gentle face furrowed with worry when she saw you trying to dry your tears with your hands. 

"Y/N, my dear, what happened?" She hugged you tightly. After her daughter's death, she'd been desperate to have another child, and she immediately felt that motherly feeling towards you, and loved you deeply. 

"It's just..." You shook your head, feeling stupid "Nothing, it's just that I cannot do anything well" 

"What?" She frowned "Of course you can! You do a lot of things well, love, for example, this soup, I think Hvitserk will ask for your hand in marriage after he's done with it" she smiled. 

"Ivar didn't like it" you muttered, shrugging. 

"That's weird, I always cooked this soup for him and he loved it" she shook her head.

"I must have done something wrong"

"No, you didn't" she smiled at you, caressing your cheek "He's just in a mood, probably... Do you want to take the rest of the food to them or you prefer staying here?"

You bit your lip.

"I think I'm going to go home" you muttered "I haven't slept very well..."

"But you haven't eaten anything!" Helga replied, the concern making her frown again.

"I'll eat something at home" you smiled, trying to reassure her "See you tomorrow, Helga... Oh, give my plate to Ivar" you bit your lip "He must be hungry" you kissed her cheek before going out of the house, using the back door to avoid the brothers. 

Ivar could see Helga was angry at him. He supposed it was because of the way he had talked to you. Gods, it was annoying how much she seemed to care about you. You weren't a viking, just a simple thrall that had been abandoned by her own family. 

"Where is Y/N?" Ubbe asked when Helga brought them the cooked fish they had gotten that morning.

"She went home, she wasn't feeling well" Helga glared at Ivar, who rolled his eyes but frowned a bit, feeling a bit guilty "Anyway, she asked me to give you her food, Ivar, as you didn't eat the soup" she gave him a plate with more food. That made him blush and take the plate. He heard Sigurd scoffing and saw Ubbe smirking. Hvitserk, on the other hand, was looking at his plate with a pout.

"You deserve it, brother" it was annoying how Ubbe seemed to know everything "Now think about how you're going to apologize to her while you eat her food"

You stood on your small house, completely naked and looking down at your body with a frown. There had to be something wrong with you. 

Maybe it was because you didn't have those long and strong legs that all the viking women had, or maybe it was your belly, which wasn't as flat as you'd like it to be, maybe you had small breasts. Or maybe it was your incapacity to fight, or to be bold and fight as the viking women. 

The thing was; no man had ever shown interest on you. Well, Hvitserk had tried to get you into his bed several times, and Ubbe had too. Sigurd tried to kiss you once, but given the reputation of the three brothers with women, every single female present in Kattegat had been in that position at least once on their lives. 

But no one had ever actually liked you, you guessed, as no one had ever talked to you in that way. 

It was true that you were too in love with Ivar to even look at other men, but as he seemed to hate you, you probably should forget about him...

Then you realized. You were crying over someone who was cruel to you. Well, to you and to half of the population in Kattegat, but especially to you. You only had showed him kindness and love, forgiving his outbursts and always tried to please him, make him feel comfortable. And he only screamed at you and made you feel bad. 

You breathed deeply, frowning. You had to put an end to it. You were only hurting yourself while pining after him, and he clearly wasn't interested. 

No, Ivar wasn't the right man for you. 

Of all the things you loved about Kattegat, the feasts were your favorite. You loved the music, the large amounts of food, the dancing, the people laughing and having fun... You always felt more relaxed and enjoyed those evenings.

That day was no different. You dressed up in a beautiful red dress and left your hair loose, only braiding some locks. You felt better that day. You had received another flower at your door that morning, but that wasn't the main reason of your happiness, as you had began to think it was some type of joke. You were happy because you had spent days ignoring Ivar. You had avoided him a little bit, but you were proud to say that you didn't even look at his direction whenever he was present.

It was a start, and you were already feeling more confident and relaxed. 

The feast didn't disappoint. You ate sitting next to Hvitserk and Ubbe, who spent the whole dinner laughing about how Sigurd had tripped over himself while training and had fallen right onto his butt. The story wasn't that funny, but the way they cried in laughter while telling you made you laugh with them, happy to be able to share their joy. 

You didn't pay any attention to Ivar, who was eyeing you, annoyed. He had been waiting for your to look at him and smile lovingly, offering him some more food or mead. 

He missed it.

Yeah, at first he found you annoying, how you would be all day looking at him and longing for his attention. He couldn't understand why a beautiful girl like you would be interested in him, the cripple. 

He had looked at you, of course he had. Every single man in Kattegat who wasn't blind had. 

But you were too much for him, and that angered him. If he had been a true viking, like his brothers, he would have claimed you. But he was a cripple, and you deserved something better. 

For him, that was reason enough to be rude to you. Maybe then you'd forget about him. 

But a part of him didn't want you to forget. 

Ivar frowned, watching as you almost choked on your food after Hvitserk said some stupid thing that made you laugh. Surely you had finally realized that his brothers were a better option than him.

Next to him, Aslaug talked about how he should stop training so hard, saying that he'd end up hurt. 

"Ivar" she sighed when she realized he wasn't listening "What's wrong? You look bothered"

Her son looked at her, faking a smile and putting his hand over hers. 

"I'm okay, mother"

Aslaug looked at you. She had noticed the change on your behavior with Ivar. She actually understood, knowing how it felt to be ignored, humiliated and hurt by a man. 

"If you were nicer to her, she wouldn't ignore you" Aslaug took her cup, sipping on her drink while Ivar scoffed.

"I don't care"

Aslaug raised an eyebrow at his words, but didn't say anything, not wanting to upset him. 

Everyone was already drunk. Even you were a bit tipsy, giggling at everything and blushed. You had moved to be closer to Sigurd, who was playing some music while a group of people gathered around him sang and danced happily. You were standing up, your back leaned onto the wall and a cup on your hands. A smile on your lips. 

Ivar looked at you intensely. You looked pretty smiling, more than you did when you frowned or winced at his cruel words. 

Again, you deserved someone who would make you smile like that.

That angered him, again, and he cursed himself for not being good enough. He never was good enough. Maybe that's why he was so angry at you, because you reminded that to him every time you smiled softly at him and ignored his remarks. 

He throw his cup to the floor, clenching his jaw with rage. A part of him would like to go and apologize to you, to tell you that he didn't mean any of those things he always said to you. But he was too proud, and if you laughed at him he wasn't sure of how he would react. 

He stayed there, sat on his chair, his lips pressed together and his hands gripping the edge of the table so hard that he would have probably broken it if Ubbe hasn't made him remove his hand. 

His brother followed his gaze, smiling softly when he realized he was looking at you. Of course he was looking at you.

You, oblivious to what Ivar was thinking, kept listening to Sigurd, smiling softly. Until someone stopped in front of you. He was a handsome man, with blonde hair and blue eyes, and he was smiling at you.

"Hello" he tilted his head. Gods he was very handsome "You must be Y/N, right?"

You blushed, not knowing how to react. It was the first time a man approached you in that way.

"Yeah, I... Am Y/N" you cleared your throat, smiling nervously.

"It's a pleasure to meet you" he had a deep voice, and his tone was soft and gentle "My name is Einar, I just arrived to Kattegat a few weeks ago and I couldn't help but to notice you"  

"Me?" You almost choked.

"Yeah, I have to say, you're one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen"

You blushed, widening your eyes and making him chuckle. 

"Well... Thank you, I suppose" you looked away, too ashamed to look at him in the eye.

"Don't thank me, I'm just saying the truth" he shrugged, taking a sip of his drink. 

You smiled softly, biting your lip. You felt a warmth inside you and you actually felt good. It was just like his comment had made you feel more confident with yourself. 

"I see you like music" he looked at Sigurd, who kept playing the oud with a bright smile on his lips.

"Sigurd is really good" you nodded.

"I heard you're close to his family"

"I am" you smiled at him "I came here as a slave for queen Aslaug, but she freed me and gave me a place to live, her sons have been very nice to me... Well, almost all of them"

"I can't imagine how someone could not be nice to you" his blue eyes which reminded you of Ivar's but less intense and softer, were fixed in yours "He must be a fool"

"Ivar is... Complicated" you sighed "But don't let him hear that"

"Would you like to get out of here? We can go somewhere more... Quiet" 

You bit your lip, and your eyes scanned the large hall searching for Ivar's. When you finally spotted him, you were surprised to find that he was looking at you, well... Glaring at you. You were tempted to look away and lower your head, as you always did when he glared at you like that. But this time you didn't. You refused to give him power to hurt you again. 

He didn't want you, he had made it very clear, you'd dare to say that he despised you, so what were you going to do? Stay there and keep feeling bad about yourself because of his indifference or go away with a man that clearly had some interest in you and who was being much nicer? 

You looked at Einar again, managing to compose a charming smile before nodding and taking his hand.

"Let's go" 

Tags: @mblaqgi @alicedopey @lol-haha-joke @hallowed-heathen @ivarslittlebadgirl @naaladareia @tephi101 @captstefanbrandt @love-hate-love @titty-teetee @thisisparadisemylove @readsalot73 @moondustmemories @thevikingsheaux @therealcalicali @chimera4plums @blushingskywalker @awkwardfangirl02 

I hope you liked it!💜 thanks for reading!

#ivar imagine #ivar the boneless #vikings #vikings imagine #angst #ivar x reader #alex høgh andersen

[thatsalamander]

Meanings of names:

The classic rock type* as told by urban dictionary*

John

John is infinite and multi-faceted. He is generally a level headed person but when he comes under pressure and is compelled to make a decision thats when things get vexed.

John is tall has brown hair and a tan, perfect skin and blue/green eyes that hold many secrets. John has great legs and nice muscles. John is a kind compassonate individual. He is a man of complete integrity and exemplary manners. He is a man of little words, believing that his actions will speak louder than words. He has a dynamic work ethic. He is strong, handsome, sexy and beautiful. He is intelligent, funny, loyal, trustworthy, full of charisma, loving, teasing, sweet and thoughtful.

John always likes to plan and think ahead for the most part. John strives to do things for the better, hardly selfish, observant and loves his family.

He leads a very intense life and proves himself hardy in doing so.

A guy that is outgoing and friendly. Everyone knows of him but he keeps very few close friends. Shy and quiet but usually willing to open up to you when you get to know him and he knows he can trust you. Then he can tell you what is on his mind and can be very emotional which does bring about his true feelings.

John has a playful side to him when he feels at ease with someone that he befriends. He can then be a total goof! Once you befriend John he will be your friend for life. He is loved more than he'll ever realize.

John is simply like the Heavens above, SUPREME BLISS.

Tender Kisses

Freddie

such a safe guy, basically, the best person you can ever meet and he's always the best looking guy in the room. such a lad.

'Did you see that bloke give that bum a £10last night?' 

'Yeah he was a true Freddie'

George 

A person who would kick you out of the party for playing justin bieber

George

Keith

Keith is the kind of guy who is extremely goofy and rarely serious. He can be a complete asshole, but you can't help but love him. He also complains a lot about the most random things and can make others feel uncomfortable because he's a very bold opinionated person. He's socially awkwardaround people he's not used to seeing, but once you get to know him, you'll see how crazy he really is.

I met Keith a few months ago and he used to be weird to be around, but now he's a silly

Pete

A shy and insecure boy who is largely missunderstood. His awkwardness will either been seen as undersirable or endearing. He has but a few close friends but is liked by many. He is polite, friendly and courteous but doesn't have much luck with the ladies. He is slightly nerdy and enjoys video games and fantasy fiction. Although an introvert, Pete is very popular amongst those who know him best. He has an immature sense of humour which will either be seen as funny or annoying. He is sensitive and caring and will always listen to what you have to say.

Pete cracks me up, he's so awkward :-)

Paul

The kindest, best guy friend you could ever have. Unknowingly funny and always willing to listen. He always has a smile for you when you see him and you find yourself missing him if you don't see him for a while. He might seem shy at first but once you get to know him he begins to open up and let you in, you cannot imagine how lucky this makes you feel. Great soccer player too!! Any girl would be lucky to have him.

"Who is that guy, he's so nice?"

"Well he's Paul of course"

"Jeez I'm so dumb, why didn't I think of that"

Roger

Male name. German origin. Meaning: Famous Spearman. 

Roger is a boy. An amazing boy. His smile could give you the warm fuzzies!! He's a hard worker and loves chocolate. He's impulsive at times, but when he takes time to think things through he can make magic happen. You could get lost in this boy's eyes. He's a bit of a nerd, and slightly dorky at times. Often Rogers are happy go lucky, but can get depressed every now and then. A Roger would do anything for you, but you should never take advantage of them. They require love and affection. Rogers tend to lock their feelings up, but when you open them up a bit they can show you a ridiculous love like no other. They'll tease you, but protect you too. A Roger would never want to hurt you and will always make you feel loved. He has a puppy-like charm. The kind of boy you'd want to fall in love with.

Roger, I am without a doubt in love with you. <3

#add your own #i swear the most names i hear in music are roger and john #roger taylor #prince rogers #john deacon #john lennon #im obviouly fogetting a lot more #but those were the first that came to mind #sorry #but im not wrong #prettt sure anyways

[lala-kate]

Until That Day:  Chapter 3

This is a belated birthday present for my amazing adopted little sister @ninzied. I hope you like it, Nina!  

You can read it here or on ff.net. Have a lovely day, everyone!

April 18

Tomorrow we shall marry.

When I gave birth to Henry, I gave up all hope of one day becoming a proper wife. But worse than that, I believed that my actions had robbed my son of the opportunity of ever having a good father, one who would love and accept him as his own and care for him the way he deserves.

Then you came into our lives, and everything changed.

You make it very evident that neither the fact that Henry was conceived out of wedlock nor that he is not yours by blood mattes one whit, and that means more to me than anything I could ever wish for myself. He adores you--wants to be more like you, has even asked me if he can start calling you Papa immediately after the wedding.

You have no idea what that means to me.

Well, perhaps you do, for you have told me repeatedly how you feared that no woman would accept and raise Liza as her own because of the circumstances of her birth. Yet loving that little girl requires no effort at all, and when she reaches those pudgy arms of hers out to me and snuggles into my chest, I forget that I didn’t give birth to her. Parenting is a choice, and becoming a mother to your two precious children is an honor I do not take lightly.

From this time tomorrow, they shall be mine just as assuredly as Henry is.

Can I tell you again how strange yet wonderful it is to know that you do not view me as a fallen woman worthy of censure but rather as a woman with whom you have chosen to spend your life and to mother your children? That when you caress my cheek or kiss my lips, all of the shame of my past seems to melt into a puddle at my feet?  That strolling through town on your arm makes me feel as though I’ve just emerged from a cocoon of censure and am allowed to spread my wings for the first time in my life?  

I am so giddy with happiness I fear I may not sleep tonight.

It’s difficult for me to believe this is truly happening, that tomorrow night I shall be sleeping in your bed rather than here in Widow Lucas’s guest room, that your body will provide me with a warmth far more intimate than that any quilt can provide. Of course, after the way you kissed me earlier this evening, I have to wonder just how much sleep I shall actually be granted on our wedding night.

I somehow think the answer to that is very little.

My skin is still tingling in wake of your caresses, my lips still burning from the imprint of your own upon them. You draw feelings out of me I’ve never known, Robin, sensations that stagger me with their intensity and persistence and carry me into dreams from which I am loath to wake. Would you be shocked to know that I touched myself last night in order to quell the ache that wouldn’t let me rest?  Would you be scandalized to learn that my own hand brought me pleasure even as my lips breathed your name, that I trembled in the darkness, imagining what it will be like to feel all of you inside my body while your lips explore me in places some would deem perverse?

I somehow doubt you would, and for that, I am thankful. I am weary of living under the self-righteous judgment of those who prefer condemnation to grace and deem our bodies as shameful. I am ready to live freely with you, to be your wife in every way without reservation, to finally be at peace with who I am.

________________________________________________________________

Dearest Regina,

Today is the day.

In a matter of hours, we shall speak vows and bind our lives together. I shall look into your eyes and be able to call you my wife rather than my intended. I shall be able to kiss you in places on your body that have been hidden to me, places I look forward to revealing in all their splendor and beauty.

I cannot wait to bring you home tonight.

Home. How different the word feels as I write it in my journal, how it dances from my quill to the page, how it warms me in a manner I’d nearly forgotten after I lost Marian. This home will feel complete again with you and Henry inside it, for as much as I love my children, there has been an emptiness that can only be filled by a life companion. How thankful I am that my new life companion will be you.

How thankful I am that I actually placed that advertisement for a wife.

I nearly talked myself out of it, you know. Several times, in fact. But as I rocked and walked with Liza for hours one night, as I heard Roland stir fitfully in his sleep, I decided I would take a step into the unknown for the sake of my children, if not for myself. I did so with trembling hands and a dry mouth, and the day that your letter arrived, I very nearly refused to open it out of absolute fear.

How thankful I am that curiosity combined with fatherly determination triumphed over nerves and prompted me to open and read your response. The tightness in my chest eased, my breathing steadied somewhat as your letter took root and began to blossom in what I had feared to be barren ground.

Now, because of you, Dearest Regina, what was once frozen has sprung back to life.

I must stop writing now and get the children and myself ready, for we have a wedding to attend this afternoon, one I have no intention of missing. Until then, Regina. I know you will be the most beautiful bride for whom a man could wish.

I shall meet you at the altar.

________________________________________________________________

April 19

I am your wife.

I am struggling to find words adequate enough to describe the emotions bubbling over inside my chest this morning, but as I sit here and watch you sleep, I must try, for this is a moment I want to press into memory forever.  It is odd, feeling somewhat sore and stretched in places rarely discussed, but God in heaven, such tenderness is a small price to pay for the ecstasy that brought it about and one I will gladly pay again and again.

My God, Robin. How you made love to me last night.

Parts of our wedding day are a blur, I must confess, regardless of the small audience in attendance and the tiny yet perfect details seen to by Widow Lucas. The wedding cake, the flowers, the fact that Marco is quite an adept fiddler, each individual item in itself was far more than I could have ever imagined. Henry and Roland looked so handsome in their suits, although I must admit to missing my youngest son’s floppy curls that were trimmed into as much submission as much as they could be.

Have I mentioned how much I love the fact that I can now officially refer to Roland and Liza as my son and daughter? There is such a rightness to it that warms me deeply. My family feels complete now. Actually, I suppose it would be more appropriate to say our family.

Ours. What a powerful word. How it changes absolutely everything. From my shame to our marriage, from my illegitimate son and your illegitimate daughter to our children, from my solitude to our family, from my loneliness to our love.

I do believe that our is the most beautiful word in the English language.

Speaking of our baby girl, Liza looked absolutely adorable in her new dress, even if her unruly locks kept trying to take center stage and made it look as if we did not even bother to comb her hair. Mr. Nolan dotes on her, as I am certain you’ve noticed, and after the ceremony he referred to her as a burst of wildfire. It is almost frightening how accurate his assessment of both her hair and personality is.

Speaking of Mr. Nolan, I think he may be sweet on my Aunt Mary Margaret.

The fact that you secretly arranged for her to be here for our wedding, that you both paid for and booked her passage, that you arranged for her to stay with Widow Lucas for a few weeks so she can get to know you and the children might be the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me. Well, besides Aunt Mary Margaret taking me in and giving me a place to live after I discovered I was expecting Henry. I was so surprised to see her when I walked into the church, I nearly squealed as I walked down the aisle.

Have her here means the world to me. But I believe you already know that. You seem intent upon seeing to my happiness, and that is something I’ve never before experienced.

Now I get to experience it every day of my life.

When you took my hand within your own, when you repeated the vows spoken by Reverend Hopper and gazed into my eyes as if you could see forever, I had to keep reminding myself that this was really happening, that maybe, just maybe, I shall be given a chance at a happy ending after all.

It still seems somewhat unreal to me, but then I look over to the bed--our bed--and see you sleeping peacefully, your bare chest on full display for me to both view and appreciate. I remember how it felt beneath my fingertips, how the smattering of light hair on your chest tickled my breasts as our bodies pressed together when you were buried inside me. I can still taste the salt of your skin on my tongue, can feel the stirrings of fresh desire as they tingle and tease my inner thighs and nipples, and I am tempted to lay my quill and journal aside and return to your side beneath the quilts.

How would you react if I awakened you with my hand? Would you be scandalized by your wife initiating sex, or would you grin that devilish grin of yours and let me have my way with you? I am fairly certain I know the answer to that, and so I shall abandon this entry and return to your side to test this theory so I can know for certain.

________________________________________________________________

April 19

You’re a minx, Regina Locksley. And by God, I love you for it.

How thankful I am that Widow Lucas and your Aunt Mary Margaret volunteered to watch the children last night. It was lovely to have some time to ourselves without having to worry about little eyes seeing something they shouldn’t or little ears hearing the sounds you coaxed out of me this morning when you woke me up in the most incredible way possible. I adore the fact that you feel comfortable enough to explore my body the same way I’ve already come to love exploring yours, even though we’ve been husband and wife less than twenty-four hours.

You have initiated a craving inside me I fear may never be sated as long as we both shall live.

For you are exquisite, Regina. Every plane of your body, every small expanse of skin, every freckle, every hair, even the marks left by childbirth you feared I would find unattractive. You are a feast for a starving man, a goddess worthy of worship and adoration, a woman who has suffered much yet possesses an incredible capacity for love and tenderness.

The trust with which you honored me by placing your heart and body into my keeping humbles me to my very core. Kissing you feels like coming home, and being inside your body completes me in a way I find nearly impossible to put into words. Watching you respond to my touch, feeling you come apart around me….I have no words for the fire you’ve so expertly kindled

and now stoke with each glance and every touch, regardless of how innocent in nature it might be.

And as I watch you slumber after our morning love-making, I relish simply being able to gaze at you openly without fear of censure or reproof. I love that I can slide in the bed beside you and cradle your nakedness, that I can touch what before remained hidden and openly confess the thoughts I have held at bay.

For I love you, Regina Mills Locksley. Within a short time, you have become a trusted friend, a mother for my children, a lover, a partner, and a confidante. And I count myself the most fortunate man on earth that I now have the privilege of calling you my wife.

#outlaw queen #oq ff #Regina Mills #Robin Hood #Laura writes #until that day

[xiumin-on-this-shit]

Take Care Of You: Part 1

Xiumin x OC

Word count: 8600ish

A/N: Was going to make this smut but I couldn’t get it right so for now this is just rated like 12, cannot guarantee the next chapter will be the same!

Summary: Eunsoo was just looking for a new job when she meets a man who seems to be more than a pretty face. This man offers her something she hasn’t had in a long time. But can this flighty girl let herself fall for a man who makes no promises to ever let her go.

Minseok doesn’t know what it is about the little goddess that stumbled into his life that drives him insane he just knows he can’t let her little had slip through his fingers. He doesn’t care what he has to do he, he isn’t letting her go anywhere. Lucky for him, he has the means to do that.

I take a breath to stop my hands from trembling, I roll my shoulders a few times to get the nerves out, I can do this. I pull the heavy doors open and peek into the beautiful waiting area of the upscale restaurant. A pretty young woman is standing at a podium staring down at something, too distracted to notice I’m there until I’m standing in front of her.

“Excuse me,” I mumble softly to get her attention.

She jumps, dropping her pen and placing her hand over her racing heart, “Oh my goodness!”

“I’m so sorry!” I quickly apologize.

Her eyes scan me, taking in my tight fit dress pants, matching jacket and white button up, “You must be the girl for the interview.”

I nod, “Yes but how did you know it was me?”

“Our manager said you were a foreigner.”

“Ah, I guess I do stand out a bit,” I chuckle looking down at my tanned skin.

“I’ll go get the manager if you would like to take a seat right here,” She gestures to one of the tall fancy chairs.

I thank her before going to rest in one of the seats. My feet bounce anxiously though I know I’m more than qualified for the position as a bartender there is always the chance they don’t want me here. I let my eyes scan around the room, the high ceilings, crown molding, magnificent chandeliers; the one through the large archway draws my eyes into the dining room. I peek curiously, noting how expensive all the tables, chairs and dining sets look, making a mental note not to spill or trip or drop anything, ever. Someone staring in my direction catches my attention, finding a handsome young face lit up by the candle on the table and the soft light from the chandeliers.

Cat like eyes narrow on me, suddenly we are having a staring contest. Pink lips are pressed into a firm line, his soft jaw line sharpens as he sets his jaw, making him appear more mature than he did a moment before. He rests back in his chair, completely ignoring the woman in front of him, his fingers tap against the wooden table’s edge, far away from where the woman’s hand is obviously reaching for him. In a pinstriped suit he looks like a gangster sitting there, confidence and power pouring out of him. I bite my lip, my eyes run back up his body to find his eyes, noting the small smirk now gracing his handsome face.

A waiter approaches his table with a tray full of food, he begins placing it down, a polite smile on the soft looking boy’s face. That smile falters when the woman says something. The man’s brow tenses as the woman continues to speak, pushing the plates away, making nasty faces at the poor waiter. Her voice begins to carry out of the dining room into the lobby, “Can you do anything right?” She sneers.

The man rolls his eyes, finally taking them off me and shifting them back to the woman. He tells her something, though from the look on his face I don’t imagine they are the kindest words. She continues to huff and puff profanities at the now blushing boy. All eyes are on them as she shoves one of the plates off the table, the boy jumps back, fear written all over his face, the man just looks annoyed.

I should leave the situation alone but I find myself on my feet, my heels click on the marble as I charge over since no one else is going to help this boy. “Is all this really necessary?” I say in a polite tone to the woman. All eyes seem to shift to me once the words are out of my mouth.

“Excuse me?” The woman scoffs, her glare now focused on me.

“I asked if all of this is necessary, what did he do wrong?”

She huffs, “He got my order wrong.”

I look down at the food splattered on the floor, “What was wrong with it?”

“I don’t have to explain that to you.”

“I’m curious, what could have been so wrong with it that you had to throw it on the floor like a child?”

The man chuckles, she looks over at him, completely betrayed, “Oppa! Say something.”

“No, it’s completely fine!” The boy jumps in.

The man chuckles, “I want to hear what was wrong with it as well.”

“It looked weird.”

I chuckle this time, “You do realize he didn’t make it right? Of course not, you probably have never worked a day in your life.”

She puffs her cheeks, once again looking for help from the man, “Oppa!”

“You act like she is wrong. You have never worked before.” She stands up and turns on her heel, huffing and mumbling insults under her breath. The man stands a moment after, sighing, obviously annoyed about the whole situation. “Thank you, this was going to be a long lunch, I have never been so happy for her to have one of her tantrums.”

“I’m sorry that I caused a scene,” I apologize to the handsome man.

“You defused something that could have gotten a lot worse, don’t apologize,” He pulls out his wallet and lays a few bills on the table. “This should be more than enough to pay for the food and dish.” The boy nods and begins to pick up the glass. I crouch down next to him and begin helping him place the shards on his tray. “You should leave him to it,” The man surprises me by taking my hands in his and pulling me back to my feet. “You helped him out more than enough for today.”

“I just did what any normal person would.”

His eyes scan the full dining room around us, eyeing the patrons, “None of them would.”

I chuckle, taking my hands out his and tucking them behind my back, “Any person who has ever worked a service job,” I correct. I watch his face contort into one of irritation, whether it’s from my words or taking my hands back I’m not sure.

“You work in a kitchen?” He questions in disbelief.

I nod.

“Eunsoo-ssi?” A familiar voice calls from behind me. I turn around and bow automatically to the manager of the restaurant.

“Good evening sir!” I say politely.

“Master Kim,” The manager bows to the man who came to stand beside me, almost possessively, towering over me.

“Manager,” He just bows his head slightly to the much older man.

The manager’s eyes scan over the almost cleaned up mess and the boy on the floor, his eyes widen in horror, “Did he drop your food?”

“No,” The man answers quickly, “My friend’s little sister threw a fit and pushed it off the table, I apologize for causing a scene and drawing Eunsoo-ssi into it.” The way he rolls my name of his tongue makes a squirm in my suit, something he notices.

“I didn’t know the two of you were acquainted,” Manager’s eyes go from me to the man and back again.

I’m about to deny that we know each other when the man responds first, “We are close acquaintances.”

“Eunsoo-ssi, if you had mentioned earlier that you are acquainted with Master Kim I wouldn’t have even bothered with the interview. Master Kim is a great judge of character, I could have just asked him about you.”

“Sir-” I try to correct this mess but the man has no desire for that.

“She didn’t tell me about it either,” He eyes me as if he is a father about to scold me, “she isn’t the type to name drop so that’s probably why she neglected to mention it.”

Manager nods, “Of course, Eunsoo-ssi, when was it that you were table to start?”

“Whenever you need me,” I answer immediately.

“Perfect can you start tomorrow night?”

I nod eagerly, unable to keep myself from grinning. “Of course! What time would I need to be here?”

“Seven? That way we have time to talk before the late night rush.”

“Thank you so much!” I bow to him deeply.

“Is there anything else that you need to discuss with her?” The man by my side wonders.

Manager shakes his head, suddenly looking more anxious than cheerful.

“Great,” The man places a possessive hand on the small of my back, “come along Eunsoo-ya, I can take you home.”

I’m about to put up a fight when the manager eagerly walks us out, bowing at least a dozen times before the large door closes leaving me alone on street with the man. It’s only about 7:30 so the nightlife hasn’t started up yet so there are few people on the usually busy street. I try to turn to the man but he continues to urge me forward with the firm hand on my back. I know I should stop him but I wait to see where is taking me. We are about half way down the block when he stops and pulls keys out of his pocket, points it at the car near us and opens the passengers’ side door.

“My parents told me never to get into a stranger’s car,” I blurt out like an idiot. My face burns bright red at my own stupidity, but he just chuckles, his thumb begins drawing small circles on my spine.

“That is a very smart thing to live by but as I already said, we are close acquaintances, not strangers, Eunsoo-ya,” My name rolls off his tongue so naturally it’s as if he’s said it a thousand times.

“I don’t even know your name,” I mumble meekly.

“Kim Minseok,” He bows his head slightly.

“I’m Park Eunsoo,” I return the action. “Thank you for getting me the job but I still don’t feel comfortable getting in a car with you and having you drive me home.”

He hums, “Oh this won’t do. How about we get more comfortable with each other?” Minseok closes the door to his car, locks it and begins leading me down the street more.

“What do you mean?” I ask nervously, wrapping my arms around myself in the chilly November weather.

His hand moves from my back to my hip, pulling closer against him and his warmth, “I mean lets get dinner. I wasn’t able to have my dinner thanks to Sooyeol’s attitude and since you were nervous for your interview I assume you didn’t eat either?”

I nod. I actually wasn’t planning on eating at all. Thanks to my asshole landlord I had to pay to get my fridge fixed, taking the money for my groceries, now I have to make a half gallon of milk, three slices of bread, and two eggs last me a week and a half.

“See,” He beams a handsome smile at me, “This is perfect.”

I want to say no but my stomach growling stops me. This guy doesn’t seem rude, he seems really nice actually. He helped me out with the job, the least I could do is have dinner with him, and in the end if he’s a creep, at least I got a free meal out of it. Minseok seems to see on my face the moment I decide to agree and leads on with a new kind of swagger. I can tell just from looking at him that he’s from money and adding in the manager’s reaction to him, it must be a lot of money.

“Soo-ya,” He muses quietly, almost to himself.

I hum a yes.

“I have a friend, his name is Kyungsoo, he never let’s me call him that.”

I nod, “You can call me that. No one has since I was young.”

“What do your friends call you?”

“I don’t really have any. I have acquaintances, if anything and they all just call me Eunsoo.”

“A pretty girl like you with no friends?”

I chuckles, “It’s definitely my choice. People can get clingy, I like being able to move along without people weighing me down.”

“That must be lonely,” There is a strong sadness in his voice as if he is speaking from personal experience. I look over at him, he is staring at me with a large amount of adoration for someone he just met.

“Loneliness has become something I’m used to.”

He nods, not saying anymore. We walk into another nice restaurant, the people rush to greet us with the same anxiety the manager had. I should be concerned about that but it strangely makes me feel safe by Minseok’s side like no one would dare even look at me the wrong way. We are lead to a circular booth, Minseok mentioned how he preferred them but there were none clean. It took less than a minute for one booth to be cleared and reset for us. I watch a little in awe, it’s like something you see in the movies. Minseok squeezes in one side and I climb in on the other, meeting in the middle with only a foot in between us. They hand us menus and give us a few minutes to look. There are lots of fancy foods that I have no idea what they are, Minseok quickly notices my distress and scoots closer. He explains each thing on the menu, asks what kind of things that I usually like, gave me a few recommendations before helping me decide on some kind of seafood with a weird name.

Minseok orders for both of us, saving me from embarrassing myself trying to say the stupid name. He asks what I want to drink, I shrug. Once again the man suggests a few things before picking some kind of fancy wine. The waiter rushes away, basically shaking in his boots the whole time. I look at Minseok, my chin resting on my hand with my elbow on the table, my fingers dance across my lips as I study him.

He smirks at me, “What?”

I sigh, “I’m trying to figure out what must be wrong with you.”

“What?” His heart warming chuckle brings a few eyes to us.

“You are handsome, obviously rich, well respected, most likely powerful, what in the world would you want with a girl like me?”

Minseok seems offended on my behalf, “Why would I not want a girl like you? Do you even see yourself? You are a golden goddess who knows the value of a dollar and cares for someone other than yourself, you have no idea how hard a girl like you is to find.”

My cheeks flush.

“I don’t want to hear things like that from the pretty mouth ever again.” I look down at my hands bashfully, his words warming my core more than they should. “Now tell me about yourself. Do you have any family?”

I shake my head, “Parents died in a car accident when I was 9.”

“So who did you live with?”

“I went to an orphanage and lived there until I was 16. After that I’ve lived by myself.”

His hand rests on my knee, a small sign of comfort, “I’m sorry.”

With a sigh I shrug, “I’m stronger because of it. Now tell me about you. You seem like you will be more interesting.”

“What do you want to know?”

I hum, “What do you do?”

“I run many different business but I spend most of my time working with an organization.”

“So what are the chances of you owning the restaurant we were just in?”

He raises his brows at me.

“Stupid question, got it. Next question, why is everyone so scared to even look at you?”

“I am a tough boss, I like my workers to do their job correctly and be respectful.”

I nod, “So do I call you Minseok-ssi or CEO?”

“Oppa,” He quickly corrects.

“I mean at work, if I am one of your workers I want to talk to you with the respect you expect from other workers.”

“Respect my decision than, call me oppa,” His voice is soft but there is warning behind it.

“Yes, Oppa.”

He beams at me, “Now my turn! Now since you seem to be such a loner, I’m assuming there is no boyfriend in the picture?”

“You would be right,” I sigh, noting the way his eyes light up and decide to mess with him. “My husband wouldn’t be too fond of that.”

His smile drops, “Husband?” Those bright eyes quickly darken as his mind seems to take him someplace else.

I try to brush it off with a laugh, “I’m kidding! I’m very much single and have been for a while now.”

“Don’t joke with Oppa like that, you almost gave me a heart attack.”

“I’m sorry,” I offer with a big smile.

He sighs as he pets my head affectionately. We talk a bit more about his life and my own, the conversation flows nicely, his warm voice hums in my ears, and his hand never leaves me. It’s always on my thigh or shoulder, not pervy handsy at all, again I just find his presence comforting. The food comes to the table, I thank the waiter before he rushes off once again only to appear a moment later with a bottle of wine an two glasses in his hands. Once again I thank him before turning to Minseok to do the same. We eat in a comfortable silence, his eyes constantly on me, secretly making sure I’m enjoying it. After I eat at least ¼ of it I turn to him.

“It’s absolutely delicious!”

His eyes light up, “Really?”

I nod, “So stop staring like I have a third eye on my forehead.”

He chuckles as he holds up his wine glass, “Cheers?”

“Cheers!” We clank our glasses together before taking a sip, or maybe I took a big gulp, who are we kidding I downed that glass. It has been so long since I’ve had something that tastes this good. My food disappeared just as quickly, followed by two or three glasses of wine, I’m not sure. I realize as I’m wiping the side of my mouth that Minseok still has half of his food on his plate, his chin rests in his hand, his eyes on me of course. I blush and look away, feeling like a complete idiot.

Minseok reaches out and gently pulls my chin so I’m looking back at him, “You are absolutely precious. Don’t try to hide that beautiful face from me, understand?”

I nod. His hand returns to its spot on my back, drawing warm circles. We resume our conversation drinking more and more, religion, values, future plans, things I’m way too drunk to be speaking about. Minseok is responding to my last note when I find myself staring at him again, not just because he is speaking, I study his handsome face, those eyes and those perfect pink lips. As the thought occurs I nibble on my own bottom lip, something he quickly notices. So beautiful, I think to myself. Why is this beautiful man talking to me, buying me dinner, looking at me so sweetly? This has to be a dream.

“I think it’s time to go,” Minseok must pay the bill when I’m not paying attention because the next thing I know we are walking back down the side walk, one arm around my waist his other holding my hand, leading me back to his car. I don’t put up a fight this time, not when he places me in his passengers seat. Not when he pulls away from the curb going in the opposite direction of where my area of town is, though to be honest I don’t think I could make it there in this state. Not when he parks in front of some expensive building and gets out. Not when he takes my hand and leads me inside.

I feel hollow as he takes me into his penthouse, passed the living room and into the bedroom where I fall onto the bed. He is standing at the foot of the bed with his arms crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face, “Do you have any idea how dangerous this is for you?”

His question throws me off, “Huh?”

“I thought you were wise at first but getting drunk with a strange man who shows obvious interest in you, oh sweet girl, that is a very bad idea.”

I admit with a shrug, “I don’t have much to live for. I spent my days and nights working for a life where I can leave whenever I want and see whatever I want to see, I have experienced the world enough. If I’m going to die at least a handsome man will be doing it. If I die at least I’ll die with a full belly,” My hands rest on the little lump under my button up caused by the delicious meal. “Do you know how long it’s been since I actually felt full? I don’t.”

He doesn’t say anything, just begins taking off my shoes with gentle hands. This isn’t what I imagined rape to be like. His hands are so slow, so soft, so careful about where he places them. My pants are next, his eyes are on my face, looking for any sort of reaction before popping the button and unzipping the zipper. It’s easy for him to get them off and toss them to the side, I actually tense when he reaches for me again, not so fond of the idea of his him taking off my underwear and having his way with me. He doesn’t reach for them though, he unbuttons my top just as gently, taking his time before pulling it off along with my jacket.

He stares at me as if he’s never seen a naked woman before, as if I’m the only woman in the world that he would want to look at. My belly warms under his gaze, I look away blushing. I look back only to realize he isn’t there anymore. It takes me a moment and a few tires to get up on my elbows to scan the room for him. He’s in his closet for a few minutes then he goes to his bathroom, returning in boxers and a t-shirt, two pieces of fabric in each hand. Minseok reaches out and pulls me to a seated position. He dresses me as if I’m a child, head first, then the arms. It’s his shirt. The confusion must be written all over my face but he ignores it and brings the other piece of cloth to my face, gently rubbing my makeup away. He’s washing my face.

I stare up at him in a daze, he just focuses on getting on my makeup off. When he is done he takes the rag back to the bathroom, turns off the lights and climbs into bed. He drags me to where he wants me to be, head on a pillow, under the warm covers, his arm around my waist, body pressed firmly against my back.

“Minseok-“ I finally speak only to be shushed.

“Oppa is here to take care of you, just sleep for now.”

I do.

………………….

I pop up out of bed, dazed and confused, my alarm blares from wherever he discarded my phone last night. It’s on the nightstand, on his side of the bed, when did he put that there? I try to wiggle towards it but the firm arm around my waist stops me.

“What the hell is that?” He groans, rolling back slightly to see the bright screen shining up at us.

5:30

I scramble over him, making sure not to damage the man, to reach my phone and shut off the annoying ringtone that is programed into the device. Minseok is glaring at me in my new position, lying belly to belly we make a wide X, propped up on my elbows, my phone in my hands.

“Why is your alarm going off at 5:30?” His voice is rough with sleep, making him even sexier than last night.

“I need to get to work,” I mumble, feeling like I did something wrong.

“Your shift doesn’t start until tonight.”

I chuckle at that, “Oppa, I have more than one job.”

“You aren’t going,” He decides shifting me back into the position we were in before hand.

“Yes I am. I appreciate you very much for feeding me and not raping me but I have to go. I don’t even have my work clothes me so I still have to go home for that. Agh! I’m going to be late, fuck!” With that realization I scramble out of his grip, no matter how hard he tries to keep me. I make it to the floor with a thud, Minseok sits up with a groan, he watches me struggle to get my stuff together. Pants first, my shirt seems to be MIA, great.

“Where do you work?” He asks even though he sees me struggling.

“I’m a hostess at a little café, but certain days I need to go in early so I can help the new pastry maker out.”

He hums, “What exactly do you need for your uniform?”

“A pastel top and some flats. My pants should be fine, shit, and I need to do my makeup. I can just do that on the subway.”

“You aren’t taking the subway at 5:30 in the morning.”

I roll my eyes at him, “I normally don’t but since I’m all the way across town and in a rush I don’t have an option.”

“Where do you work?”

“Lala’s tea house, it’s a traditional tea house.”

He pulls out his phone and taps on it for a minute before climbing out of bed. He walks to his closet and pulls on a pair of sweat pants and a sweatshirt. “Put your pants on, you can change your shirt when we get there.”

“You are taking me home?” I ask hopefully, not wanting to take the subway at all.

“I’m taking you to work, someone will meet us there with a shirt, some shoes and some basic makeup.” He grabs another sweatshirt and once again dresses me as a child, head first, then the arms. “I’m assuming you work at 6?”

I nod.

“Do we have time for breakfast?”

I shake my head.

“I’m not enjoying this rushed morning,” He groans as he takes my hand and pulls me along out of the apartment. We go down in the elevator in silence, all the way to the car, not single word. My mind is racing, he hates me. He must really, really hate me for ruining his night and now his morning, god I would hate me. I open my mouth then close it, then open it again, and close it yet again. I don’t know if I should apologize when he is the one who brought me home, he signed up for that instead of trying to get home. But not this early morning trip across town. I’m so absorbed in my own thoughts that I don’t notice we are here until his rough hand caresses my cheek. He gently turns me to face him, his eyes soft.

I look down at my hands, “I’m sorry for running your morning. Thank you for taking me to work even though you are mad.”

“I’m not mad.”

I peek up at him though my lashes, “Really?”

“Let me correct that, I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at your job for having you here so early. I wanted to make you breakfast, I wanted to talk to you more, I wanted to get my claws into you more so you would want to come back again before I let you go.”

I’m blushing, “I’ll come back.”

“Would you really want to?”

“Yea, I don’t see why not. You took care of me, you fed me, you were nothing but sweet to me, why would I not want to come back?”

“People find me scary sometimes. They say I can be too intense.”

“Intense, yes, scary, definitely no. You took some random drunk girl home, changed me out of my work clothes, gave me something clean to wear and tucked me in tight. Many guys have trouble controlling themselves but you were able to do it without letting your hand slip once. I feel absolutely safe around you.”

A small smile spreads across his face, his hand finds it’s way to the back of my neck and pulls me in, placing a soft, chaste, kiss on my lips, “I’ve wanted to do that since I saw you.” His thumb runs along my jaw line, eyes focused on my lips, obviously wanting more. After him helping me out, it’s the least I can do. I reach out, placing a hand on either side of his head and pull him in for an actual kiss. He is surprised by my assault but quickly catches on, his hands snake around my waist and just as quickly pulls me into his lap. I’ve never kissed someone like this, never had someone kiss me like their life depends on it. His tongue slips through my lips, the hot muscle explores every inch of my mouth, hungry for as much as he can get. For a minute I actually think we are about to have sex in his car when someone knocks on the window.

“Holy shit,” I nearly scream, clutching on to Minseok tighter, hiding my face in the crook of his neck.

He growls as he rolls down the window, the stranger chuckles, “Good morning Boss.” He hands something to Minseok.

“Good morning Kris, thanks now go.”

“Not even introduction?” The stranger muses, “I would love to see the face of the little goddess that got you out of bed this early for ride to work.”

“Goodbye Kris.”

“Goodbye Hyung and little goddess,” The window is rolled up and the stranger is gone.

“Sorry about him,” Minseok hums softly, his hand draws small circles on my back.

“I’m sorry I jumped you.”

“You do not have to apologize for that, I definitely encouraged it.”

“I could tell, that was…” I still feel breathless, “Amazing.”

“We will definitely be doing it again, but for now,” He puts a shopping bag in between us. “You seemed to be in a rush to get to work. Hopefully this shirt is to your liking.” It’s only now that I realize the position we are in. I’m straddling his lap, my arms still around his neck, one of his hands on my lower back the other rests on my thigh, this is definitely an interesting position. He watches me intensely as I debate on just climbing out or returning to my seat. But the moment I decide to move, he decides for me, keeping his hands solid on my body, completely destroying the idea.

“I’m shy,” I admit meekly.

“I saw last night and these windows are tinted, you have nothing to be shy about. You are going to be late to work if you don’t hurry.”

We keep eye contact as I pull his shirt over my head, loving his clone that I already know is coating my skin. His eyes shift down for only a second, I expect him to look at my chest but instead his eyes go to my thin waist. I reach into the bag and pull out a pretty blush top, with a high neck line and long sleeves it’s more conservative than I usually wear but I don’t feel like telling him that. I pull it on, looking deeper into the back I find some black flats and a smaller bag with some make up. But what really gets my attention in the little black box at the bottom. I narrow my eyes at him as I pull it out and pop the box open. Inside is a pair of blush colored diamond colored earrings. My jaw drops.

“How?” I question honestly confused.

“How what?”

“How did you get this stuff so quickly? How did you know my perfect size and makeup shade? This is literally the makeup brand I use! And these earrings! How did you get all of this stuff at 5:30 in the morning?”

He chuckles as he tucks a stray curl out of my face, “As you said last night, I’m a very powerful man. Now as much as I would love to keep you like this or take you back home with me, you are late for work.” I look at the clock on the dash and scramble out of his car door, nearly hitting the ground if he hadn’t caught me. I jump to my feet and begin rushing inside before turning on my heel and rushing back to the now open window, “Did you forget something?”

I lean threw the window and kiss his lips one more time, “Thank you so much. And good morning Oppa.”

…………….

Minseok’s POV

I watch her scamper inside the traditional style building, the sweet taste of her lips on my tongue. Oh god what has this child done to me. Eunsoo. Kim Eunsoo. The golden goddess who has caused a scene, refused to go home with me, got drunk, had me basically take care of her all night, now she has me up at this god forsaken hour to take her to work. Yet I have nothing but a warm feeling in my chest at the thought of her. I don’t know what it is, maybe the light flickering in her eyes, the way her smile lights up a room, her caring heart, even though she would disagree or maybe it’s the way she secretly craves to be taken care of and loved. The way her small frame curled into mine last night like she had never been held tells me everything I need to know about her. I can’t wait to have that little goddess in my arms again, but when?

………………………

Eunsoo’s POV

I nod every few sentences as the bartender explains some things to me. I’ve done this a dozen times before but I know that each place is different and even though I have an in with the boss man I don’t want to ruffle any feathers. The bartender seems to be a nice guy, Seungcheol is about a year and a half younger than me, but of course he is taller and looks more mature than I probably ever will. We match in black dress pants and button ups, sleeves rolled up to the elbow.

“We have special guests showing up tonight apparently so tonight is going to be a bit more stressful than usual,” He tells me as he cleans up the few spots that are now empty at the bar.

I nod but as I scan the restaurant I notice the small amount of people that should be there on a Thursday night at 8 at night.

“The place will actually be pretty deserted but the guys coming in are heavy drinkers and have horrible attitudes, I hope you have some thick skin cause those guys are going to try and eat you up.”

“I’ve dealt with bad guys before so I should be good.”

He sighs, “I told the manager to start you tomorrow night so you can actually work with costumers but he insisted that you start tonight. So I’m going to try and have you in the back as much as possible, get you acquainted with back there and tomorrow we can work on serving drinks okay?”

Again I nod, “Okay.”

Just than the doors open followed by lots of chatter of deep voices and hearty laughs. A few tall men in suits swagger in like the own the place, oh my god please don’t let this be what I think this is. I can’t even begin to hide the grimace on my face when one of them looks my way. I don’t try to cover for myself at all, just turn on my heel and duck behind the bar. Seungcheol raises a brow but chuckles and nods his head in the direction of out kitchen entrance. I slip back there, never rising to my full height until I know I’m completely out of sight of the men. I look around the mostly empty kitchen before moving to the liquor area and making sure everything is stoked like Seungcheol had told me earlier. I try to focus on my work but one this is bugging me. Minseok will not be here, I tell myself. I do not want to serve him after my ballsy move this morning, he probably hates me or finds me annoying.

My cheeks flush at the memory, my body has been buzzing all day with this new energy I have never felt. It has been so long since I’ve had an extra pep in my step like I did this morning, I couldn’t stop smiling, my coworkers had thought I went crazy and I think they might be right. I don’t fall for people, especially after just one night but I don’t know, Minseok makes me feel something I haven’t felt in a long time, like he cares.

But what if he’s different with his friends around. I’ve know many guys who turn into a completely different person when their friends appear, and usually it’s not for the better. Would he even admit that we knew each other? Would he be okay with his friends knowing he is interested in a bartender when he is some big important guy? I know these are stupid questions but many times in my life guys have answered them wrong.

“Noona?” Seungcheol peeks into the back at me about ten minutes later.

“Yes?”

“The manager told me you need to be out here, I’m sorry,” His dislike for the idea is all over his face but I know there is a good chance he argued for me but still lost.

I take a deep breath and follow him back out into the dinning room. Tables had been moved and the patrons from before have left by now, leaving the long table in the center of the room the only one with people at it. Seven men are sitting there, all impeccably dressed in three piece suits. I want to study them more but instead I find myself looking at the list of drinks Seungcheol has started on. I quickly follow suit moving to the next on the list. It only takes us a few minutes to have the drinks ready, Seungcheol takes them out, he tells me to pretend to look busy even though we both know there is nothing for me to do out here. I look around the bar a bit, noticing some of the shelves holding the liquor bottles seem to be dirty so I begin to clean literally everything I can reach. I’m kneeling on the back counter lost in my own head for about ten minutes before I realize that I have an audience watching me. I don’t turn around but their conversation has ended and I can feel eyes on the back of my head.

Seungcheol appears next to me with a tray, he tries to look cool but we both know the attention I’m drawing, “Is that good enough?” I offer to kill the silence, looking down that the younger boy with a smile.

He catches on and eyes up the shelves before nodding, “Looks good from down here, let me help you down.” His hands are on my hips, helping get down off the counter. I smile up at him and thank him quietly. Finally looking over at the bar I see all twelve spots are filled and all twelve pairs are on me but only the familiar cat like ones really catch my attention. My heart stops at the sight of him, I want to smile at him and rush to his side but the death glare sent at me keeps me from doing so. Turn that into my heart dropping and my gut clenching, he’s mad.

Seungcheol steps away from me, his hands go to his pockets, Minseok’s face automatically softens a bit, he rests back in his chair at the head of the table. “Ya,” He draws all eyes back to him with the single word. He holds up his drink with a small smile on his face, “We all did a good job today, everyone drink and be merry.”

The eleven men hold up their drinks and clink them together, “Cheers!”

The conversations begin again, the men are loud and seem pretty cheerful, completely unlike what I had pictured from what Seungcheol had told me. As they continue to talk and eat and drink I can’t get myself to keep glancing at Minseok. I want to talk to him. I want to hug him and kiss him and ignore my reasoning on why I shouldn’t feel like this for some guy I just met. It’s driving me insane.

A hand on my shoulder makes me visibly jump, “You okay?” Seungcheol worries.

I nod, “Yea, just a little out of it without much to do.” He strokes my arm softly, it’s not an intimate touch, more brotherly in my mind than anything but it must not look like that from across the room. Before Seungcheol can respond Minseok is at the bar , almost pulling me across the counter to get away from him.

“Sir, be careful,” Seungcheol attempt to come to my unneeded rescue but a glare from his boss’s boss stops him.

“Seungcheol-ah, I’m fine,” I promise.

He is hesitant but he backs away to the other end of the bar. I turn around and stare at the strong hand still gripping my arm, keeping me basically chained to the counter. I raise a brow at him, he releases my arm to hold my hand gently in both of his.

“Well hello,” I greet with a small smile.

“Hello to you too,” He muses with the same smile.

“That was an interesting time to finally come say hi.”

“He has been touching you this whole time and it has been driving me crazy.”

I hum, “If I would have known that’s what it took to get you over here I would have encouraged it.”

He glares at me playfully.

“I’m kidding of course. But since when are other guys not allowed to touch me?”

“It’s not that they aren’t allowed it’s just that I’m not a fan of it,” He specifies.

“Your friends are staring,” I note looking over his shoulder to our audience.

“I don’t care.”

“So you haven’t been ignoring me because you don’t want your friends to know you are dating the bartender?”

He smirks, “I didn’t know I was dating the bartender either.”

My face is on fire, I didn’t mean to say that. I try to pull my hand away to run and hide in my stupidity but his grip on my hand is solid.

“Oh no Love, you aren’t going to just say that and run off. Would you like to be dating?”

I look away to hide my blush but nod, “Yea.”

“Than we’re dating,” He guides my chin back to facing him and kisses me softly on the forehead. A few hoots and hollers come from the table but he ignores them. “I didn’t come over here because I didn’t know if you wanted the whole kitchen to know you are dating the boss.”

“I don’t give a single fuck who knows.”

“Good, so now I’m going to change my answer from earlier. From now on guys are not allowed to touch you.”

I’m about to sass back at him when a tall man joins us at the bar, “So you must be the goddess that got our boss out of bed this morning.” The man is obviously checking me out, a sly smirk appears on his lips before suddenly contracting into a scrunched scowl. “Ah!” He rushes away from the bar, limping slightly. “Hyung you are so mean.”

He snarls something in Chinese. The giant pouts, whining back in the same language. Minseok leans away from the bar, puffing his chest when the other, at least I’m assuming, questions him. “Do you have a death wish tonight?”

Kris glares back at him, “I’m sure there are other things you would prefer to be doing.”

“You are correct but I can definitely fit your death in there, now go sit back down.”

The younger huffs one more time but obeys. The rest of the table is in a silent fit of laughter and snickers at the man’s dismissal. Though some of them eye me up just the same they look away quickly when they realize Minseok is still looking their way. Suddenly they all find each other much more interesting, if not each other than a nearby wall or light fixture, anywhere but Minseok and I.  

Minseok looks back to me, looking exhausted from the conversation, “Again, sorry about him.”

“I’m assuming that’s Kris.”

He nods, “Yea, ignore his wandering his eyes, I’ll make sure to let him know it can’t happen again.”

“Why do I have a feeling you are the possessive type?”

He chuckles, “I should have warned you, I’m territorial of what is mine.”

…………………

“Your friends are very eccentric,” I point out as I settle into his couch in his apartment. He appears next to me a moment later, two glasses of coke in his hands, he offers me one before settling his arm around my shoulders.

“Which is why they will be staying away from you for as long as I can manage. They are crazy especially the younger half. Kris, Luhan, and Suho should be fine but Chanyeol and Baekhyun are actually insane.”

I laugh, “You have interesting friends.”

“I know, but at the end of the day, they are very loyal and know when to listen and that’s all I ask for in a friend. Speaking of which, about what I said earlier. I need to get this out of the way or it’s going to bug me,” He is looking down at his drink, his other hand is playing with my curls mindlessly. We are both tense now, I have no idea where this is going and suddenly I feel like I’m about to be dumped. “I want to give you one last chance to leave.”

“What?”

“I’m going to warn you now Love,” He looks up at me with a little bit of anger in his eyes, whether he is angry at me or himself I’m not sure. “I am a very intense man in case you haven’t noticed,” I find myself snickering, he tries to hold back his smile during the serious conversation. “I’m being serious, I will protect you with my life and treat you like a princess but the cost of that are my um, possessive tendencies. I will take care of you, I will love you, I will only feel this way about you. I know this is a lot to handle but if you need to time to think about it I will understand and let you go.”

From the way his arm tightens around me I know that’s a lie. I stare at him for a minute, letting his words soak in, noting how on edge he is. I hum, “So we would be exclusive? No other men? No other women?”

“Yes.”

Again I hum, I’ve been a free agent all my life. The idea of being in a serious relationship absolutely horrifies me, I don’t really know what I’m doing and Minseok has made it very obvious this is going to get really serious really fast. But even with my usual fear of the situation in my mind I find myself saying, “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I’ll stay.”

He is obviously over joyed but quickly reels himself in, “Are you sure? Once this starts I can’t promise I’ll be able to let you go.”

“I’ve been running long enough, I think it’s time I decided to stay a while.”

That is all he needs to pull me up onto his lap like he had this morning. Those pretty pink lips that have been in my thoughts all day. I’m straddling his hips, my hands cup his face as I bring him closer for a delicious kiss. His hands are on my hips, gripping me tightly, still afraid I might run away. I chuckle into the kiss, pulling away for a moment to place my hands on top of his.

“I’m not going anywhere tonight so rest easy, alright?”

He still looks unsure, “Really? I have you all night?”

“Well until 5:30,” I muse.

He scowls, “Again? I don’t like that job.”

“Well that’s unfortunate, is that a deal breaker for you? Should I just go?” I joke, not really even attempting to step away. His arms wrap around me in an iron grip.

“Very funny, like hell it is. I guess we are just going to have to get started than, can’t have you up too late.”

……………………..

Minseok’s POV

Here we are again. Though I much prefer tonight compared to the one before. Her little naked body is curled against me, her arms wrapped around me, afraid I might leave or something but this little angel must think I’m insane. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world right now. She is the one that will have to leave in five minutes, again. I groan and for the millionth time consider just turning her alarm off and locking the doors so she can’t go, but I think it’s far too soon for that. Maybe I won’t be that crazy, but I make no promises, I can’t have her working hours like that everyday. How is she not worn to pieces? My poor little goddess. I kiss the top of her head and enjoy the next few minutes with her by my side.

I briefly wonder how crazy she will think I am for having another work shirt for her already? I knew without a doubt she would be coming home with me tonight after she ran back to my car this morning for that kiss. But I didn’t think she would agree to stay after I warned her about not letting her go. She is the wandering type, but maybe she is more deprived of affection than I thought, so much so that she would be willing to give up her freedom for a possessive lover. Maybe I should have warned her properly, mentioned the fact that I’m a little beyond possessive, I’m kind of insane, and the leader of the mafia, but I couldn’t get myself to.  I can’t let her run away from me. I was pissed at myself for even offering her a chance to leave, I can’t imagine when I’ll actually confess the rest to her. Until then I’m just going to enjoy her.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Or until that fucking alarm goes off apparently.

#read me #xiumin mafia #exo mafia #xiuminxoc #xiumin fluff #exo

[grecoisms]

title: to deserve a spring (2/3) pairing: Kakashi Hatake / Sakura Haruno rating: M summary: “For a moment, neither of them speak. Silence, like a noose, hangs between them. Kakashi's stare is heavy and Sakura finds herself thinking, strangely, of a fist unclenching, letting go.”

Still for @ninjas-in-love and @neonanything. Thank you everyone else for the notes and comments!!! UPDATE - now without typos :-)

“Tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us. These, our bodies, possessed by light. Tell me we'll never get used to it.”

xiii.

Kakashi dreams of Rin during these desert nights. She is clothed in black and white as she was in her death, as if celebrating the occasion. His hand is stuck through her heart. The blood and the tears hot on his face. She is dying and he can only watch. A twenty year old history.

When he tries to untangle himself from her, their movements mingle and he feels panic and bile rising from his stomach to his mouth.

The setting is also all wrong, he notes: there is no forest surrounding them, but they are standing hip-deep in translucent water. When he looks back, Sakura has taken Rin's place and she very gently leads his hands to her heart.

"Here," she says, even though Kakashi wants to warn her that nothing good ever came from people entrusting their hearts to him. Even though the kindest he does with this piece of organ is losing it.

"Here." Now she places her hands to his chest and dips her head closer to his. Whispers;  "It's broken, isn't it?"

He never answers. Just pushes his hands into her chest. Sakura's face freezes. She dies without so much of a sound.

xiv.

"This year is not so exciting, isn't it?" Naruto yawns. He is stirring some salt in his bowl of ramen. Desert mornings are cold, so he and Sakura are wearing blankets above their uniforms.

"Exciting as in Orochimaru trying to decimate half the group and leaving his chosen one with an ugly ass tattoo?" Sakura grimaces in her tea. "Thanks, I'd rather pass."

For Kakashi, the whole of this period feels like a dream, a utopia. An illusion. Outside the canteen, the dunes have a soft, violet glow in the morning. The white of her well-creased medical coat looks like a halo.

"You look like a man who stayed up cleaning the floors all night."

Kakashi sighs.

Naruto's eyes dance between them.

"Is this a metaphor for something disgusting?"

"I wish." he puts some honey in his milk, ignoring Naruto's horrified stare. He does not say, Sakura, I imagined you dying on me in all the ways I witnessed death.

It is more about his past than her abilities. He just needs to let this fact sink into his subconscious.

"I am betting on your team today." Naruto says. "But I won't be there. Gaara wants to talk to me about a mission.” A pause. “ We will head to the Western lands."

"What." Sakura's eyebrows make the same shift as his. "Naruto, there is nothing there. Well, poisonous swamps, I reckon. But nothing of value."

Kakashi tries to think with Gaara's mind - a friend of Naruto. What can they gain from this? He locks at the clock on the wall behind the counters and knows he is more than an hour late to the meeting with his team.

"Okay" his voice is amicable enough. Sakura shots her an omnipotent glance as he scrambles himself up. "See you later, then."

xv.

"Wait!"

Sakura is running after after him. Her smell, antiseptic and almonds, outpaces her presence.

"You know something about this?" she asks.

He folds his arms.

"No."

"But you are guessing." Her voice is insistent. Happy. It makes him smile a smile that touches his eyes.

"Gaara wants Naruto to forget a little bit about situations at home."

She chews on her lips.

"You don't think it will help him." he states, and she looks up. Her smile is now sad and she shrugs her shoulders. Trails off. Hands him a bottle, leather-clad.

"Here have some iced tea. Against dehydration." She is hesitating, wondering how to tell what she thinks. Kakashi would accept anything. "Naruto cannot uncast his cares. As long as he breathes he will believe Sasuke to be good."

Kakashi accepts the water, but his fingers slide to her wrist, stopping her.

Intimate, his head rings, but he makes the move to have her attention. He is greedy for that, above all.

"Are we so different from Naruto, Sakura?" he asks. And with that they become just two people confessing their fears in front of a common inn.

He knocked on the door of their fears. Now it is her choice to keep it close, or open up.

"I honestly do not know what I feel." she answers. Kakashi thinks of rarity. Sakura thinks of a knife and how love is handing all your weapons to another.

When she speaks, her voice is barely above a whisper.

"It scares me how elusive my life becomes when we it comes to him."

He nods and understands. Sakura is a kind of person who likes to see clearly, likes to be aware of other people's and her own feelings completely.

Now, it is his turn to be brave.

"Will you come to the tournaments today?" his voice is also low. A confession. His soul shakes as she looks at him, really, as someone so holy in this light. He knows the answer already. By protocol, she has to be there.  

It is for reassurance. For her, that she is wanted there by him; and for him, that she will be there, watching and protecting. To see her teeth glint as she smiles.

"Of course." and there, her teeth like pearls, shine. "Anything special to look forward to?"

xvi.

She should not have said that, because just before the exams could start at noon, Kurenai appears from nowhere, face ashen and lips set in a narrow line.

Ignoring the protests of his trio, she murmurs the news into Kakashi's ears alone.

"Envoy from Konoha. Sasuke Uchiha has been spotted in the Valley of the End and is believed to attempt a close attack on the village."

His first thought is not of Naruto, but Sakura.

"Gaara knows?"

"I told Sakura to tell him the news at once."

His heart misses a beat.

Standing up, he spots Ino. They lock their eyes together, and when the girl looks away, Kakashi knows that Sakura is longlong gone.

xv.

It takes her a day and the half, with one longer pause to reach the valley where only dead thing dwell. Sasuke is one of them, and as he stands there, the hollow pit of his eyes reflect back nothingness. Nothing in, nothing out. Naruto is lying on the ground, next to a woman she does not know.

"Come back home." Sakura repeats his name for emphasis, and means it.

"Please." She is ready to retreat and put down all her arms. Ready to hollow her own chest and string herself up if he so much opens his mouth.  

Sakura has killed already, but she is still youngyoungyoung. She thinks; maybe the blood of her heart will erase the vastness of this void from his handsome face.

Sasuke might be thinking the same, for he actually tries to go for her heart, chidori-ready and bright-eyed. It seems that only the intent of the murder brings some color back to his face. Or is it the cold flame of the Hatake technique, reflecting the angles?  

"No- " she wants to say, but has not time at all.

Another figure blocks the sun from the view and for a moment, Sasuke's face goes slack with surprise.

When Kakashi speaks, he sounds very, very tired.

"Sakura."

A mantra.

Then there is another voice, a voice within and above and below a voice. Naruto is rising from his slumber, bringing a demon with him. He screams Sasuke's name with an inhuman desperation.

Behind them all, the boy she thought she loved starts to laugh his terrible, dead laugh.

xvi.

She has never seen him quite that angry before. It is not an unhinged kind of fury, but a silent, bitterhot one.

"It is not Sasuke who you sought out -"

The woman whom Sasuke addressed as Karin feels heavy on her back, but her heart is a close second in this race. Far behind them, they hear Naruto scream. Or is that Sasuke again? She honestly cannot tell the difference anymore.

"And it is not love you feel - "

It feels absurd. He was never one to make a long sermon and yet he cannot stop himself now, as she is nearing twenty, to sound exactly like when they were all younger and lighter. When Sasuke would have spit into the face of whomever tried to backstab their friend. He almost uses the same tone, the fake, the formal, the professional, the reliable one - Sakura, it is easier to throw a kunai if you don't hold it so firmly in the first place.

Besides, they should be heading back to shelter now, but the argument catches them in the middle of the forest. She is painfully aware of their loneliness among the woods. No one here can hear them being quite this despondent, quite this hopeless.

He bows his head so she can see both of his eyes, mismatched and alarmed. 

"You are deluding yourself into some sort of mirage of the past."

Statement.

Accusation.

The air around them trembles, narrows. It is hard to breathe. For a terrible moment, Sakura can see terrible fears in his eyes, next to the anger.

She does not slap him like he thinks she would. She does not cry like she initially thought. Instead, she chooses to be cruel.

"That makes two of us, then - " and she twists the knife by adding, "Sensei."

xvii.

By the time Sakura gets rid of all the poison, Naruto's body falls into a fever. It mimicks, she thinks, their state of mind. Fever means the body is fighting, just like their soul - a natural struggle against their otherwise peaceful nature.

Resisting the urge to kiss his forehead, she leaves a wet clothes on Naruto's forehead. Karin is tied to the bed, but she is also sleeping, behaving, like Kakashi asked her too.

They are near Konoha, but home can wait. All can wait now. The world around them is in static.  

When she steps out the tent, she is not surprised to find Kakashi outside, a constant, doubled up in the grass. He stands up when she starts to wash the blood off in the streak nearby.

For a moment, neither of them speak. Silence, like a noose, hangs between them. Kakashi's stare is heavy and Sakura finds herself thinking, strangely, of a fist unclenching, letting go.

"That was very stupid." he says, voice gentle. "You could have died out there."

This is him apologizing. She continues to wash herself. She is wearing more than one kind of blood. And yet they are all alive.

She is silent. He bows his head. His shoulders loosen, more in defeat than ease. It frightens Sakura how easily she reads him right now. Reads him nowadays.

Is it because he has saved me so many a times; she asks herself and fights the dried speckles under her nails. Is it because we share a guilt?

"You were never going to kill him."

Amazing, how serene he sounds when he should be livid with her. Oh, she thinks. The blood is dissolving, at last. It is because he can read me just as easily.

The shinobi blood in her flares. Reading into another's soul is always a weapon. But what she feels is not danger.

"I thought" her voice is strong. "That he can be reasoned with."

He does not answer. At the end of the day, he is a man of few words. Like Sasuke. And for the first time in a long time, Sakura has to bit her tongue to prevent herself from crying.

Comparing Sasuke with Kakashi feels like blasphemy. The boy's silence always came from arrogance and anger.

This man before him is quiet by choice and experience. There are few who understand how listening is so alike to attention and attention is prayer that unfolds the delicate creases of one's inner map. Kakashi is like that, and Sakura is suddenly overcome with such a tenderness that her throat closes up again.

"Thank you" she says and he seems shocked. "For coming after me."

To anyone else, the flash in his gray eyes would be a trick of the moonlight, but Sakura catches his reaction.

She hesitates, wanting to say; You are right. I think I confused love with an idea - or - Love is not a person killing you, right? Haha!- or better, clearer - I am so, so, so sorry for hurting you with my words.

She cannot name what she feels for Kakashi, whose eyes are weary and whose hands knew blood and guts before she was born. He has lost and lost and lost so very much all while he killed and killed and killed since he was eleven. He is close, this killer, but it is not danger she feels, but something warm, like safeness, whenever he is near her.

Moonlight colors his tall and lean figure silver, and Sakura tells herself she does not love him. He stares at her, here at the valley that has no end; the valley that is the end of everything. Of something. That automatically means something must be beginning too.

Kakashi stands and looks at her like one does at something rare and precious, and Sakura does not love him.

(Except she does.)

(So, so much.)

xviii.

Naruto is gone by the morning.

They return, the two of them, and Karin, alone yet together. She picks apples this time, shares with him. He is humming something and she wonders just how very far a shinobi must go to keep his sanity intact. Karin is wary of their unity that forms a shield and so she remains silent.  

They are the ones who are left behind.

Left together.

xix.

They fall into some kind of ritual after The Incident.

She goes to his flat in the morning before her shift starts. Tries to arrive as soon the alarm clock goes off, which only goes off when she is there to set it. He never wakes up when she jaunts all around his place and Sakura smiles at that. At the implication.

"Breakfast!" She tickles the sole of his feet which always loll out from the covers. The bed seems a bit small for him. She laughs when he jumps and grunts. "Come on!"

Having a disastrous history with cooking, she is starting to learn and try cooking simple meals and finds out that being a medical nin helps her being a cook immensely.

It is all about control and ingredients and timing, something Sakura is used to now - so she shares porridge or her miso soup or the natto by wrapping it up for him. She leaves milk with honey on his table as he gets ready. Enjoys listening to his humming in the shower.

There are also things they do not talk about. Like her turning away as he wakes up - she respects him still wanting to wear a mask on these occasions. Or how Kakashi's left eye is unable to focus in the mornings, and how she sees him having a blind spot as he staggers out from the bed, a little too wildly, a little too blindly. The sharingan, which is as much a blessing as it is a curse, is eating his left vision away. Sakura sees the picture of Obito and Rin close to the bed, his heart, and so she remains silent. He never shows, but grief sits inside him, is written in him. To mention them is to recarve those names in him with fire, slowly.  

Yet when they have time they are faithful to these rituals, yes. Kakashi takes his team to the tracks just a minute from the medical center. Sometimes, when the heavens think him worthy, she catches Sakura's coral-regal haircrown in the window, looking out with an inscrutable expression. Umma, who adores her, notices her too and screams. Koshi is shy around her - he must have a crush.

xx.

One day, Ino is there with Sakura, at lunch.

"Wow" Tassun whistles, Koshi and Kakashi shushes him at the same time. Umma runs to Sakura, hugging her.

From there, it goes downhill.

Ino sits across him the entire time, fixing him with a glare she must have learnt from Tsunade. Kakashi reciprocates, but fails to win when he senses Tassun trying to pour an entire bowl of sugar in Umma's tea. He stops it in time.

Tassun pouts.

"See," Kakashi says. "You are spoiling them, Sakura. They expect everything or nothing now. What a tragedy."

She just laughs.

"Oh, cut it out. You just want some sugar too."

"I want justice." he says. Sakura kicks his leg under the table. If Ino's eyes could kill, he would be even deader than dead by now.

"Don't be a child."

A cat appears at the table, looking too cool to care. It is a sign Sakura has to leave. The children are whining. Joy of joys.

He scratches his head.

"Whoever reaches the oldest tree of Konoha first does not have to do pushups with me today!"

"Oldest tr-" Koshi begins. "Wait up, what?!"

Thus Ino and him remain alone. The thirty seconds they share in absolute silence feels like an eternity. Finally, she opens her mouth.

"She cries and you die."

"Funny how you had not considered this when she ran away to the Valley. I am-"

"A mess." she finished. "Yes. That is no excuse."

Another ten seconds. He has always known Ino to be loyal and reliable.

"What will you do?"

He could make promises. Say what he feels. But he remains honest and simple, because that is what he is.

"I don't know." Ino's face bends. "Yet." And adds, very quietly. "I may not do anything at all."

He does not know whether it was Ino who taught Sakura The Art of Eyeroll, or the other way around, because the way she rolls her eyes now is pretty magnificent.

"Then you are an idiot. Which I suspected. But you are an idiot she is in love with."

And she leaves him there. Like it is nothing. Like it is not an epiphany.

xxi.

After training and successfully exhausting all three children and himself on that day, he does not go home. Knows that her name is now written there, all over, from the way the chair is placed to the way one of his book is on the table; wide open, scribbled and appreciated. It is written on the fridge, which contains her cooking. On the plant, finally surviving. The smell near the door and the windows - all, all her.

He tells Gai first, that night, what he himself has dreaded to confess to himself for months.

"I am in love with Sakura." His fifth glass of shochu is on the way. Gai's eyes widen, his hand holding his own beverage freezes. He decides to repeat, just in case his rival-friend think he just hallucinated the confession in a drunken frenzy. "I am in love with her. Sakura."

What he does not say, because Gai simply knows, is that he is in love with her but he should not - for he is a graveyard: a carrier of dead things. He should not, because he is fourteen year her senior, half blind in the mornings already, and totally blinded by her presence. In love with her but he is sure this love of his is going to put her in the graveyard.

He feels sick.

"I was born with gray hair." he hiccups, aware that Gai is still in trance. It is okay. He is too. He swears a bit, before continuing. "Does that mean I was never young, Gai? I can't remember being young. I can't see if I'm graying."

He swears again.

What he does not say, again, because Gai probably sees, is that just after Suna, he has discovered, on accident, that his scar now cuts through some crow's feet, whisperwrinkles on his eyelids as well.

"I am not strong enough for this."

The drink arrives and he nurses it a bit.

When Gai finally speaks, he has already downed the drink, and Gai, blessblessbless him, fastens both his hands on his shoulders, ordering him to listen and pay attention.

"Kakashi" his voice is deep and awfully sober for someone inhaling sake for the last three hours. "From what I hear, she is strong enough for ten. So I am almost absolutely certain she would be able to carry you throughout your whole life."

True.

"Besides. She has a true heart. You have a true heart. You both care. What else is there?"

He closes his eyes.

Quit whining for your Scarecrow ass, Obito says in his head. It is not the looks or the personality. Rin loved you, despite you being a bastard.

This just makes him incredibly sad.

"The war." he answers.

Gai looks away.

He attempts to interrogate Obito as he stands to walk, or rather scramble home.

Answer me, he is stumbling a bit, but refuses to fall, something you know about best.

What to do with a longing that can now destroy us?

Obito abstains from answering.

#kakasaku #kakashi hatake #sakura haruno #naruto #my writing #waiting is wasting #THANK YOU FOR THE NOTES ALSO IM SUCH AN ASS THIS IS GONNA BE 3 CHAPTERED #otp: complicated thing

[muskycat]

Chapter One (English)

Seven years later... Frisk jumped out of her fluffy bed and ran out into the hall, dressed in her green and white pajamas. She was barefoot, but she didn ‘t care. She opened the door to Toriel's room like a whirlpool. “Today is the day, Mom ... Mom?” Frisk was surprised to see that Toriel was not in his room. She had nothing to lose so she ran again, this time in the opposite direction. “Mom? “Frisk crossed the room, Toriel was in the kitchen, as she imagined, finishing decorating some kind of food. Frisk jumped on his back, giving his mother a little scare, “Today is my birthday!” “Good morning, my child” Toriel said, lowering the girl gently, “Although, I don’t know if I should keep calling you that.” Frisk had changed since she had appeared in the Ruins, from the surface. She still had the same brown hair to her shoulders, as did her eyes. Although it wasn’t  so easy to keep the rest of his appearance. Her body had been stylized over the years, though she didn’t want to, her adopted daughter was becoming a woman. Fortunately for her, her candor and her friendly smile had not disappeared, even intensified thanks to her teachings. She already knew that she was a good teacher, Frisk, full of sweetness and affection, was his most precious sample. “Today is a special day, so we'll have some chocolate with gingerbread. You like it, right?” “Yay, I love it.” Toriel laughed at the energy of her little girl, who was already sitting waiting for her breakfast. They both tasted it while Toriel listened as Frisk told her some of her thousand and one adventures with her friend the ghost. All the monsters in the ruins got along well with Frisk, they no longer attacked her as in their first encounter. They had forgotten that, in fact, she was human. Now she was the daughter of the caretaker of the ruins. And Frisk had managed to dazzle them, one by one, until they had taken her as one more. “Oh, it's late” Frisk said suddenly, jumping in her chair, “Napsti wanted us to hunt snails today.” “Perfect” said Toriel, rising to pick up the table, “So I'll have the house for me, while I prepare the... Ahem.” Toriel paused, giggling, “I did not say anything, hee hee. Come on, prepare, Frisk.” Frisk returned to her room, she can't leave in her pajamas through the ruins, though one aspect of the monsters seemed to care about her more than she did. She didn’t remember the true day of her birth, for she was more important this, the anniversary of the day she fell into her new home with once the years. So she decided to wear her special outfit, the same that she wore when she met her mother. Unfortunately, over the years, she had grown up, unlike her clothes. Toriel was prepared for that, fixing her outfit with magic, although her blue shirt with violet stripes had not come out well. But she preferred it that way, after her mother in one of his old robes, turning the bottom of his chest into a cloth with the same symbol she carried. Thus, Frisk felt much more attached to her and the world that had welcomed her. With this and her black stockings and denim shorts went to the door of the house, although she had to return, forgot the net for snails. She also put on the two gifts of her friends, her blue helmets that matched the old music player, both Napsti gifts, and her bracelet of golden flowers. “I'll come back at lunch” Frisk said aloud. “It's okay. Have fun, my child. Be careful.” “Yes, mom.” Frisk walked through the ruins, humming a song, without losing the smile. The ruins were a very safe place, there, Frisk felt well. It might have seemed small, during her classes her mother had taught her every corner, and there was no area she didn’t know. But she always had something to do and monsters to talk to. “Ribbit.” “Howdy, Froogit” Frisk's familiar greeting seemed to encourage such timid monsters as Whimsun to engage in conversation, “You are very handsome. It shows that today you have courage in your heart.” “Thank you” Whimsun said, blushing before Frisk went on. She soon found the little river that crossed the ruins near the pastry shop of spiders. Very close was the place where they hunted snails. She liked to take a few of them to Toriel to cook them, they were delicious. Frisk had once asked her to show her some of her recipes, but Toriel liked to keep the mystery. And she could not with her or her attack of angry cheekbones, which destroyed by squeezing them and forcing her to launch a funny sound that made Toriel can't stop laughing. It had arrived before Napstablook, so Frisk sat near the water. She let the sound relaxed her, but she hasn't heard her other friend, came out of the ground beside her. “Howdy, Frisk!” “Howdy, Flowey” She said, looking at her friend, “I thought that today was not going to see you.” The little golden flower smiled at the girl, they had known each other for a long time. From the beginning, rather, although their relationship had not started well. “It's your birthday, right?” Flowey winked at her, “I must fix my present. Ready?” “Ready.” Frisk held out his arm, in which she wore the flower bracelet. It had been an offer of Flowey to apologize for his attack, when she fell into the underground. For him it had been banal, but Frisk took it as a great gesture of friendship, and since that day they had been friends. After a year, she looked a little shaken, until Flowey let out of his head a pair of petals that hit her. In seconds, she looked fresh again, revitalized. ���It will last until next year. These flowers are the most resistant.” “Thank you, Flowey” Frisk said happily, “As I would like to know how to use magic, like you.” “You're a human, Frisk. You have almost no magic. But you have something more important. Determination.” “Determination?” Frisk asked. “That allows you to do as you wish. Except magic.” “You're a fool” said Frisk as Flowey began to laugh, “Your laughter is very creepy.” “It's the one I have. Come on, you know that shouldn’t worry. I'm your best friend.” “I know, Flowey. You would not hurt me. At least now.” “It's been a long time since you arrived, Frisk. I do not feel the same for you. I do not usually do this, but... Sorry for trying to kill you. Okay?” “Aw, you're adorable, Flowey.” Frisk took advantage of Flowey's oversight to hug him, raising him and lengthening his shaft several centimeters. “Let me go! Frisk!” “No, you're very cute.” “I'm going to bite you” said the flower, changing his face, “Aaahhh, damn it. Can I tell you anything without you touch me?” “Ok, Ok. Don’t be angry, Flowey” Frisk said, releasing him, “I just want to give you my hugs of love and...” “Here, LOVE takes you to death. So get away from me.” “You should socialize more, Flowey. I love being your friend, but you would be happier if you had more. Why do not you come and hunt snails with Napsti and me?” “The crybaby ghost? I pass”. “Flowey!” Frisk gave him a pout as a reprimand. Flowey sighed, looking down. “Look, Frisk... I'm not like you. Spending these years together has awakened emotions... Feelings that I thought I had lost. But they do not look like yours. It's... As if I could only be your friend. You understand it? Nobody understands me except you, Frisk. So, do not ask me to socialize.” “It's fine” Frisk whisper, “I just want you to be happy. And if that includes not talking about you to Mom or we cannot be all three, I will accept for you.” “Thank you... Frisk” Flowey said, regaining his kindest tone, at least until he saw the ghost from afar,  “Uh, I'm leaving. Have fun with... That. Will I see you at sunset near the tree?” “I will be there.” ** “Hi, Frisk” Napstablook said, he also had his net floating in the air. When they met, Frisk had encouraged him, making him feel better. The ghost did not think he would see her again, but it happened a few days later in the same place. Gradually they were talking, getting acquainted, becoming friends. Next to Flowey, Frisk felt Napsti as his other best friend and they both liked snails. “Howdy, Napsti” Frisk greet him waving her hand. Napstablook smiled to see the girl's helmets, she always carried them to know how much she liked his gifts that brought him from the underground, beyond the safe ruins. “I'm sorry to be late. You must think I'm the worst.” “No, of course not” Frisk said quickly, seeing a pair of tears peeping out of his eyes,  “You've had to wait for me too many times, haven’t you? Come on, let's hunt snails!” Frisk and Napstablook headed toward the garden of the snails. Frisk knew from the ghost's mouth that he had a snail farm in Waterfall, the place where he lived beyond the ruins, He also knew that he lived alone, although he had a relative a long time ago, a cousin who helped him but had gone in search of his dreams. Frisk felt sorry for him, but she didn't want to say anything that made him feel bad. “I have the last!” Frisk shouted, raising the net in triumph. Toriel would not allow her to bring more than a limited number of snails home, so she would not over-hunt. But by the time Nasptablook reached it, his net was full, “You're too good, Napsti.” “Sorry... I did not want to bother you.” “No, you don’t. Come on, it's a joke. I cannot take more. Even if it's my birthday, she lets me...” “Oh, I'd forgotten” Napstablook opened his eyes even more than they had, “I left your gift at Waterfall. And you can't go looking for it. Oh no…” “Hey, don’t worry, Napsti. What matters to me is you're here with me.” “But... I made you a song... And I did not bring you the record." Oh, no...” “Wait... Napsti?” But he had disappeared, “Ehm... Hi? Anybody?”

#Brokenfate