#US Zookeeper

[fisheito]

(zookeeper au) eiden: hey yakumo why do you always use the stall

rei: damn can't imagine asking someone why they pee the way they do. why do you show your dick to pee. imagine being so overconfident in your ability to piss you just stand and make a mess on the floor for a janitor to clean up (THIS DIVERSION WAS MADE BY 1/3 OF THE CLOACA CREW)

TSJFSFK THAT WAS MY INMMEDAITE THOUGHT -->defensive rei (bc i instinctively project my personal reaction as the first rxn)

if eiden's all "why are you shy yakumo? u can pee right next to me 🥰" *pats urinal next to him* i can imagine rei walking into the room with 1 of 3 reactions:

Fight Mode: "imagine asking someone what they do in the toilet. i could report u for sexual harassment" <- he would not, bc rei ain't a snitch, but i can imagine rei sassing eiden bc he feels like it

Apathy Mode: "i use the stall too. it's nbd. this is unimportant." (continues with his life, uncaring)

Generous Mode: "you're curious? come in here and i'll show u"

#eiden upon realising that his curiosity has dragged him into a social faux pas and he's all #AAHHHH SHIT I'M SORRY I DIDN'T ....... PPLEASE JUST LET THE EARTH SWALLOW ME that is ur business i am sorry goodbye #of course my immediate thought is put an AU on an AU. zookeeper au but eiden uses a STP and is like #AH I'M SORRY it's just that... well.... i use this and i dont want u to feel like u hav to hide but i get that everyone does things diff #ANYWAY I'M SORRY AGAIN FORGET I BROUGHT IT UP #infinite universes. infinite eidens. all of them apologetic and thoroughly confused. #imagine eiden's thinkin all my trans coworkers are trying to hide their transness from me #and i'm trying very hard to drop hints that i am in fact very cool with that but i'm actually coming across as an asshole #no eiden they're not trying to hide their genders. they're trying to hide their werewolf transformations #honestly this whole thing is becoming an allegory for identity suppression #and rei will not have it. #everybody else bein like “it's gonna be weird if the new hire finds out we're animals!! we gotta hide!!” #rei shrugging and saying that he ain't gonna go out of his way to withhold info and also that he's tired so hiding is annoying #actually quincy would fall into that camp as well. hiding stuff? troublesome. #no wonder eiden finds out super fast #asks #WHAT WAS I DOING BEFORE THIS #ah. i forgot. oh well #zookeeper au #yakumo #rei #eiden

[canonically-a-genloser]

favorite big cat? i'll go first, Mountain Lion

CHEETAHS ARE THE FUCKING COOLEST

#sorry you get my baby autism i used to read so so much about cheetahs #i loved how fast they were and i love watching them in zookeeper videos i love them so fucking much you have no idea #panthers are really really up there because of the jungle book but holy shit ASJFBSDHVFH #crow <3

[hyenaswine]

i found a podcast about animal attacks! the first episode is about the tiger that got loose at the sf zoo - i was actually living in the bay area when that happened & i remember visiting a few months after & seeing all the signs. actually i think i remember visiting before it happened & getting some really beautiful closeup photos of the tigers thru the nest window, i remember they were very interactive. but i wasn't being a dick or teasing them obviously.

i did my zoo internship across the bay at oakland zoo in 2009-2010 which was just a couple years later. tigers were my favorite animal as a kid & i did get to go visit the tiger nighthouse at oakland during a feeding time. we had to stay very far from the bars since feeding is obviously an intense time & you didn't want to give the tigers the impression that you were there to take their food. it was really fucking intense just to be in that space so close to them.

i think that was the same day they sent me standing in the back of a pickup, unprotected & holding trash barrels full of hay, into the huge elk & bison enclosure. the male elk was in rut & thought we were after his does, & came chasing after the truck trying to fucking murder us with his antlers. what a goddamn day.

#also i think the same day the chimps spit on us #they were mad bc we were in the next enclosure giving grapes to the squirrel monkeys #wow. i miss zookeeping

[tennessoui]

anakin was perfectly polite!! (re:zookeeper au) maybe its a cultural difference (im from SEA) but my mum would have come to scold me instead 😤 it would be really funny to see obikin in the zookeeper au with their own kids, or babysitting for a weekend. anakin vs children (in a non-murdery way) would be a riot

ok ok to be fair to zookeeper anakin, i imagine he was perfectly polite in his mind and narrative but also he was probably doing like sith levels of crazy murder eyes at the lil girl in the ficlet who pulled on the bunny's ears

that mom is probably only coming to complain because she took one look at her daughter and understood that her baby confronted the paralyzing fear of mortality that day

#asks #zookeeper au #oh zookeeper obikin with children hmmm #i don't see a lot of aus where anakin is just genuinely bad with kids #(even though canonically vader did a) blow up alderaan b) torture his daughter c) cut off his son's hand) #so ok we can call those happy lil accidents #but also i think it'd be a fun change of pace if he was just like. terrible with kids #his empathy is all used up on baby and barnyard animals #obi-wan's friends try to get them to babysit and obi-wan is like ok yeah sure but you're not paying for their therapy #like to be fair you can be a good person and be bad with children anyway like lets not conflate the two #lets just say no way for anakin to be good with kids this au #and sure yeah vaders redemption is luke i promise ive not forgot that factt #but that doesnt mean vader wouldnt scream and rage if the <100 piece puzzle wasn't being put together fast enough

[statisticalcats2]

Fort Worth Zoo has hit a bit of a hurdle in Jameela's rearing because the female they had hoped would be a surrogate mother for her just isn't interested enough so they're now focusing on another female in the troop.

There are people commenting on the above update making comments about like giving Jameela to Zookeeper Chad which is super annoying but there is a special type of humor in seeing this when I'm still so sure that Fort Worth Zoo had a subtle, plausibly deniable dig at Zookeeper Chad and Mogo Zoo in one of their initial posts about hand-rearing Jameela fgyeuiud

Anyway, the keepers at Fort Worth Zoo are doing great for Jameela and I have no additional worry for her future.

#statisticalcats gorillas #statisticalcats zoo blogging #zookeeper chad negative #mogo zoo negative #jameela's already crossed some baby milestones and the re-introduction process is going at a good pace despite the initial surrogate option #not working out #it kills me a little inside when i see fort worth zoo describe things as going slow #because they're REALLY not #they've done so much more in this amount of time than mogo zoo ever did #(also i think the surrogate mother mogo zoo chose for baby kaius also isn't showing the proper amount of interest to be a very good option #and they've already wasted SO MUCH time catering to the media and parading kaius around away from other gorillas #while fort worth zoo is still so much earlier in the process and realizing they're on the wrong path and changing plans #and actually doing what's best for jameela #and paying attention to her needs rather than using her as some pr prop #so anyway yeah no this baby's staying here #if she needs to go to another zoo she'll be going to another aza accredited zoo #not being sent overseas especially not to someone who is LESS qualified) #ok rant over gfyeiuhodi

[thatiranianphantom]

And then sometimes I wonder how I ever enjoyed The Big Bang Theory.

Those things you look back on and you are just galled by the sexism, homophobia, transphobia, sexual harassment, etc.

#TIP speaks #Genuinely used to enjoy it in college #which proves I was a stupid baby #I saw a video essay once that said #howard talk about women the way a zookeeper might talk about trapping and taming wild animals #And that's it isn't it #Like friends is one of my fave shows #And I would never say you'll never find these things in friends #but even there they are on a much smaller scale #on tbbt is just leaps off the page

[whumpy-daydreams]

Just remembered the moment my mum realised we needed a dog was when I did a zookeeper day thing for my 17th birthday and there were wild dogs there who just ran up to me wanting pets and food and I sat there for 10 minutes with these dogs surrounding me in pure happiness

#also washed a giant tortoise and fed cheetahs #there was also an armadillo who was so cute and i made his bed and got to gove him a little stroke #also i did not realise how fast meerkats are until i was trying not to step on them while cleaning their enclosure #honestly one of the best days it was amazing and for a month after i genuinely considered becoming a zookeeper or zoologist #completely separately i once got to meet a pair of wolves and go for a walk with them #and one of the wolves scratched his head on my hand #btw wolves smell mostly like dogs but a bit more woody? not a wet dog smell though #there was a wolf sanctuary near us and i knew all the wolves names and could recognise them #theyre closed to the public now because the wolves are older and want more peace and quiet #i still get sad whenever i look at their website and see one of the wolves died 😥

[bulbasaur-gone-rogue]

“Amimimi classic literature is serious and brooding amimimi-”

FOOLS

How quickly you forget the unnecessary cowboy in Dracula. Quincey Morris did not both yee AND haw to be cast aside and forgotten like this.

#dracula novel #are we just gonna forget that one guy eats a bunch of birds raw and whole #in some sort of weird flirting attempt with Dracula #only to promptly vomit them back up because the human body wasn’t meant to do that actually #and that one zookeeper who was like #well maybe the wolves just want to get out #and then they have to bribe him more to tell them anything actually useful #anyway Van helsing is bisexual #hope this clears things up

[gingericywolf]

Quick rough sketches of a zookeeper Au for the subway bros. Instead of being subway bosses they are... zoo bosses

#submas #subway master emmet #subway master ingo #submas zookeeper au #gym leader elesa #warden melli #i guess it is also a modern au #giw sketch #train twins #don't judge the snow leopard i did not use references #emmet's uniform is a bit based on the australian zoo one #ingo says I don't care if its 50C out there i'm dressing black #ingo's uniform is always covered in fur and ripped up

[majorxmaggiexboy]

The Terror but at least one other crew member encounters Tuunbaq up close and lives to tell about it, if not entirely unscathed. So they’re in the sick bay minding their own business trying to recover and here come Mr Blanky saying now he and this guy have to have a duel for honor because Tuunbaq is his betrothed, thank you very much

#the terror amc #you know in my mind the other person is jopson but #honestly anybody would work #the reason i vote jops is bc his sarcasm tone is Funny and i think he and mr blanky would Banter Good about it #Little gets second vote because he'd look absolutely crushed at first and then smile for once in his goddamn life #Irving would probably just still be doing his Owl Eyes tbh. he might make us proud and quip back #but he'd probably be busy calling Tuunbaq a demon #if anyone says Hickey i will set us all on fire it is literally not allowed to be hickey #fitzjames already gets his badass scene of firing a rocket at it so it can't be him either #bridgens might be cool #Tartnell could actually be a solid candidate #i can't decide if this hypothetical crew member should literally look this thing in the eyes #and get flipped like a pancake into the sun and somehow survive #or just get tossed aside into the nearest semi-but-not-really-soft-but-still-survivable surface #or just be unfortunate enough for the thing to leap right past them and it's like #that poor zookeeper that one time who got his hip broke when a tiger bumped into him while pouncing on something unrelated

[sonata-stigmata]

this place is truly the pitch drop experiment of websites. you turn your back for 2 seconds and 84 new things happen but at the same time nothing truly changes

#staff gave us live streams like a zookeeper throwing a hunk of meat into a tiger enclosure #trash posts

[bylertruther]

hi just dropping in to say that reading your tags on my posts always make me smile 🫶 ilysm and i love hearing your thoughts 🫂🫂💕

SARAH MY DEAREST AND SWEETEST... squeezing u n resting my head on ur shoulder n following u around with pom-poms like ur very own pocket cheerleader bc ilysm. i love hearing YOUR thoughts and theories and learning new things about this show and these characters that we both love. you're so insightful and intelligent and sweet and funny. again i am wrapping u in the biggest bear hug ever. might have even slathered myself in superglue so tht u can never let me go srry but also not srry. platonic soulmates of all time everyone else MOVE!!! 🤭🥰🫡👯‍♀️🫂💙💛

#sarah tag #asks #do u kno tht gif of a koala clinging to a zookeeper's ankle? thts us. <3 #replying five yrs later n i am so Sorry i lov u xoxoxoxooxoxo

[katbrando]

i want to go on a picnic with deeg!!!!! there's this museum in my city that has a HUGE field out front with various sculptures and it's so pretty, lots of people have picnics there and I WANNAAAA TOOOO... we'd have a cute lil basket full of pastries and lovingly made sandwiches, i'd bring my sketchbook and he'd have a book of some kind (something informational bc i like the idea of him wanting to be knowledgeable abt literally everything bc then he has bragging rights abt yet another thing) and he'd keep sharing cool quotes and facts while i've got my head in his lap and im drawing him from really unflattering angles bc it's funny when he's like "why would you draw me like that" hKLHFKLDS.. and then he'd put his book away and kiss me and we'd tease each other, play fight and roll around in the grass like fuckin idiots :'))) he gets grass in his hair and i carefully pick all of it out while he's pouting about it....SIGGHHHH so cute so cute

#im aching to draw us together again...... writing takes priority right now which is FINE bc i'm having a blast #but STILLLLL i want to draw us i want to draw him #in a silly zookeeper outfit with his hair pulled up and a bigass lizard in his hands #dinokat #modern au

[agent00ani]

Thank you my brain for reminding me that “zoo” doesn’t automatically mean “the places, organizations, and institutions that house animals, allow visitors to see said animals, and participate conservation” before I ended up getting a call out post made about me because I said I would post/reblog “animal/zoo content” on my blog…

#I’m just autistic and my biggest special interest is zookeeping and zoos #but it’s fuckin tumblr #I also post about finding Halsin fro BG3 hot and I’m sure that would’ve been used as ‘evidence’ #anyways yeah I just really like zoos and zoo keeping and conservation and animals #ani rambles

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

There's a viral video circulating from the Fort Worth Zoo, of two keepers who ended up in a habitat at the same time as a silverback gorilla. Spoiler for good news: neither the humans nor the gorilla got hurt. It's a bad situation that ended extremely well, and that's why I want to talk about it.

The audio for this video is mostly someone praying loudly, so if you need to turn the audio off to watch it, you won't miss anything relevant. If you don't want to watch it, here's the summary: it starts with a keeper running around the corner into the main exhibit, pursued by a large male gorilla. She is quickly able to get into a doorway at the back of the exhibit, but does not completely close the door because the gorilla is standing across from her, watching. He eventually moves off to the right hand side of the exhibit, where we can see a keeper is trapped in the corner at the front. She was trying to move towards the exit as he moved to the right, and she stops, standing very still behind a tree, while he stays along the far right wall. They stay like that for a minute, and then the gorilla runs to the front right corner, and the keeper is able to run to the door in the back of the exhibit and get to safety.

Let's start with basic information. Even though it's just going viral now, this video is from October of 2023. It was taken not by a guest, but by the zoo security officer responding to the situation. Hmmm, seems like he maybe should have been doing something else during that situation, instead of than taking a phone video. It's going viral now because the guy (who is no longer employed at the zoo) decided to post it on TikTok for his five minutes of fame. This guy immediately started giving all sorts of media interviews, answering questions like "why no tranquilizers" inappropriately, making memes out of his own video, generally distasteful shit.

Zoo spokesperson Avery Elander gave a public statement that "thankfully, there was no physical contact between keepers and gorilla, and all staff and animals are safe." A comment from the zoo has also indicated that the incident was due to keeper error. (As opposed to, for instance, something in the fencing breaking.) According to the guy who posted the video, a lock was left unsecured and the gorilla was able to open the door to the habitat. I don't know if I buy it, and again, this just... is probably why he doesn't have a job anymore. By sharing that detail - real or not - he places a ton of public scrutiny and blame on that keeper team. (If that's what happened, I can promise you it will have been dealt with internally.) He also was nice enough to say he wouldn't name the women in the video... but verified they're still staffers at the zoo... which means they're eminently identifiable! Excuse me while I ragequit for a second.

So there's two reasons I wanted to talk about this. The first is to make sure it is well known that this guy is purposefully and intentionally exploiting the worst day of someone's life for media attention. Their lives were in danger, and he's using it for fame. His name is in the media articles - I'm not going to share it because he doesn't deserve that attention. The second reason, though, is because this video is a masterclass on how to survive if you end up sharing space with a gorilla. Every zoo person I've spoken to or seen comment on the video is so, so impressed with how the keepers handled themselves.

The gorilla in this video is 34-year-old Elmo. All apes in AZA zoos are managed in protected contact, so keepers are supposed to be separated from them by a barrier at all times. The zookeepers were in the habitat putting out a mid-day meal when he got out. Watching the video, you can see he's not actively being aggressive towards them - he's not making threat displays or trying to approach them. Mostly, Elmo seems like he doesn't know what is going on and he's kinda freaked out about it. (This is confirmed in the zoo's press statement, too). The staff stayed calm, and importantly, watched and waited to see how he'd move and act.

The zoo did say one thing, though, that's a bit misleading. In one article, their press person I quote as saying “In general, gorillas are considered the “gentle giants” of the great ape species.” Just because this may be true in comparison to other great ape species doesn't meant gorilla aren't still incredibly dangerous. This type of messaging always worries me, because I think it leads people to misunderstand the risks of being close to megafauna. Gorilla are extremely strong animals, and their social norms/behaviors are very different from that of humans. That's why it's such a big deal any time people end up in gorilla habitats, and why sometimes in those circumstances lethal measures have to be taken to protect human life.

These keepers are incredibly lucky to be unharmed. These women stayed safe specifically because they're trained professionals who knew how to act around gorilla, they knew this particular animal well, and they'd learned the escapes from the exhibit just in case this ever happened. We should applaud them for their cool heads and quick thinking.

As for the guy who posted the video? As a colleague put it, may he always step on a Lego.

#gorilla #gorilla video #viral video #zoo animals #zoo animal welfare #fort worth zoo

[statisticalcats2]

Me talking to the mental projections of Mogo Zoo and Zookeeper Chad in my head as I watch the latest video update on Jameela's hand-rearing/surrogacy journey like "wasn't that moment cute where the zookeeper in the GORILLA VEST handed Jameela over to the other zookeeper in the GORILLA VEST"

#statisticalcats zoo blogging #statisticalcats gorillas #zookeeper chad negative #mogo zoo negative #for context: gorilla vests are vests with fringe that zookeepers often wear when they have to hand-rear a baby gorilla #they help the babies learn to grip like they would be doing if they were with mom #baby gorillas grip onto their mom's hair as they're carried #so it's an important skill for them to develop #one of the problems i and other people have with the way mogo zoo has handled hand-rearing baby kaius #is apparently never making use of any sort of gorilla vest #fort worth zoo and now cleveland metroparks zoo sharing videos about jameela's journey #gives you such a clear look at how off poor kaius's journey has been #jameela acts so much more like a typical gorilla baby than kaius #because the zookeepers did all they could to raise her AS A GORILLA BABY #and it's going to make her integration into a troop so much easier #gorilla vests may seem like a small thing #but right now they're feeling like the big symbol of awareness and care about teaching baby gorillas how to be GORILLAS #even when human intervention is needed