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#Today's been AWFUL lol I literally had to come home from work early bc I was so. Emotionally unstable
shima-draws · 4 years
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Nothin like watching Legally Blonde with your favorite hoes to make the day better
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realcube · 3 years
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haikyuu!! boys’ reactions to you speaking 💗 uwu💗
characters: tsukishima, ushijima, yaku, kenma & iwazumi
thank you anon for this cute request 💕 idk what i just wrote but i had fun 👍
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IWAIZUMI & KENMA’S ARE AGED UP! MUTURE THEMES - MINORS DNI
tw// fluff, swearing, uwu language, cwinge
kenma’s hcs tw// sexual themes, implied switch!reader, phone sex(?), mentions of a blowjob, mentions of punishment
iwaizumi’s hcs tw// breeding kink, fem!reader, orgasm denial
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Kei Tsukishima
you realised he didn’t like it so you did it just to annoy him LMFAO
he was scrolling through tiktok and a girl popped up on his fyp talking like that, so he snarled and immediately flicked it away, muttering something along the lines of ‘why do people speak like that? do they think it’s cute? ‘cause it’s really not; it’s just embarrassing.’
so you wasted no time in responding, ‘sowwy? what was that?’
HELL 👏 FIRE
his blood literally ran cold, he was aware that you liked taking the piss but he didn’t expect you to do it to this extent
 ‘what did you just say?’ he murmured, silently praying that he had just misheard you
you rolled your eyes before scoffing ‘nothing.’ you deepened your voice, just playing around at this point tbh
tsukishima hummed in agreement, deciding not to inquire further as he figured that he must’ve heard the echo of the girl’s voice in his head rather than yours
so he was just about go back to scrolling until he heard you coo in a high-pitched from behind him, ‘tsukishima is a lil’ bitch.’
‘(Y/N), FUCKING STOP!’ he let a throaty scream at you
‘you’re so boring, tsukki-’ you spoke, quickly cutting yourself off so you could switch to your uwu voice, ‘or should I say; bowing.’
you said, hopeful that your voice would make it clearing that you meant ‘boring’ rather than the act of playing an instrument with a bow
‘go to hell.’ he grumbled, trying his best to tune you out by pulling his headphones over his ears 
‘babe~’ you purred, shuffling over to him and peppering kisses along the nape of his neck as you were feeling extra evil today, ‘wuv you~’
‘jail.’  tsukishima simply stated as he switched over to Spotify so he could blare some Mother Mother to drown out the sound of your voice
the worst part was that he couldn’t even tell if he liked it or not PFFT
like it was cute but the fact you weaponised it against him annoyed him
but you were also giving him kithes so he couldn’t exactly complain 💞
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Morisuke Yaku 
ok don’t even lie yaku does a variant of the uwu voice whenever he’s trying to insult kuroo IUGBEIGVA
it’s something like ‘aww, kuwoo, does your lil’ undewdeveloped bwain not undewstand algebwa?’ but in a mocking way yk?
so when a he watches a lil’ tabby cat approach you on the street, then you busted out the uwu voice that he had never heard before- he was taken aback
at first he was like ‘woah why are you making fun of that cat?’ bc he always associated that voice with ridicule LMFAO
but when he processed all the nice things you were saying he realised that you were being nice lol
so then he was like ‘awwww 🥺 (y/n) + cat = SO FKN CUTE!! 💕💗💖’ *click click* and he just starts taking photos
he probably puts them on his private story with the caption ‘their an angel 😍’
(then kuroo probably replies with ‘they’re*’) (don’t ask why yaku put him on his private story ✋)
anyway, he’s probably so fond of the voice too like ofc he thinks it’s cute
bc it’s a lil’ kitten and you’re talking to it in a high-pitched voice as if it can understand you SO FKN CUTE
he’s not too effected by it tho- it’s mostly how well you get on with the cat that he really admires
then he couched down beside you to talk to the cat too and y’all had a whole conversation with it in uwu
‘aww, look! are you hungwy, baby?’ you asked the cat as it licked the back of it’s paw
‘i think, it is!’ yaku continued, aware that if anybody from school caught him doing this, he’d pass away on the spot but what can he say? he’s soft for you (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)
 ‘i have some blueberries in my bag, you can have some if you say please.’ he told the cat
you were both met by the cat’s blank - but adorable - stare, accompanied by silence until the kitten let out a faint, ‘mew’
‘AWWWWWW!!! 💞💕💖🥺👏 ’ you both squealed in unison, impressed by the kitten’s response 
‘it understands us!’ you gasped while applauding the cat for it’s excellent communication skills
‘the voice must work!’ yaku concluded as he scrambled to throw his bag off his back and rummage through it in search of the tub of blueberries
you nodded, watching in awe as yaku pulled out the tub to carefully pick out the plumpest berries and feed them to the cat
yaku noticed your expression out of the corner of his eye and chuckled, ‘what?’
‘you’re so cute.’ you snickered, lighting bopping his nose with your index finger as he continued to allow the cat to feed out of the palm of his hand
a furious blush immediately covered his cheeks as he hastily turned his head away to hide it - in a typical anime fashion, ‘be quiet.’
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Kenma Kuzome
it’s a sex thing-- it’s 100% a sex thing
a kink perhaps?
ngl he loves it when you do the voice in bed 
like don’t ask why it turns him on so much
he’s weak for you whenever you do the voice tbh
BUT it’s only hot when you do it 
when any other person does it - especially if it’s over text - he literally gags 🤢🤢🤢
when a streamer he watches does the voice, he’s just thinks ‘ew ✋ that isn’t cute. pls stop.’
but when you do it- boner alert pfft
especially when you moan in that voice yES HE LOVES THAT
you just execute it in a way these other bitches just can’t, okay? 💅 IUERBGFERIBG
he doesn’t mind putting the voice on sometimes if you like it when he does it but he’s really embarrassed by it 🙈
he’ll try to say something in the voice while you’re rearranging his guts for a change and you’re praising him like 👏👏👏 ‘awh, precious kenma bb.i love that voice on you, i might just let you cum early--’
and he’s fucking groaning from pain, pleasure and humiliation 
‘never again.’ was the single coherent thought he could form
you’re only giving like 20% of the time but if you happen to giving on a day that you’re feeling especially evil, you might make him do the voice in exchange for orgasm privileges
but he gets you back for it though 
you’d call him, whining and pleading for him to help you with the throbbing between your legs or at the very least, give you permission to touch yourself
but considering that the day prior, you had tortured his ass to the point were he was now struggling to sit down, ofc he was just like ‘no ❤’ when you ask for his assistance 
even after your continuous begging, he didn’t budge 
‘don’t you dare put your hands on yourself until i get home. i’m leaving right now so i should be back in half an hour but if you keep pestering me like a little bitch, then i’ll be sure to go extra slow on the highway.’
although, for kenma ‘extra slow’ is probably the speed limit lmao
(istg he drives like he’s in mario kart)
however, half an hour was just too long 😩 i mean, you had probably been on call with him for 5 minutes already and it took you 20 minutes to get him to pick up the phone so by now, you were clearly on the brink of madness
‘kitten~’ you whined, desperately trying to think of a way to convince kenma to aid you 
then you remembered; his weak spot
‘pwease, baby?’ you softened and raised the pitch of your voice
kenma perked up as he realised what you were trying to do, the tips of his ears burning, ‘don’t bother to try that with me, (y/--’
‘i’ll suck you off when you come back.’ you promised, keeping the voice on, the aching getting worse and worse by the second
kenma was now partially able to relate to your circumstance as he began to feel a straining of his own, between his legs at your cutesy tone along with the image of the last time you blew him tormenting his mind
‘whatever. but only use your hands. i can tell when you use a toy so don’t even try; or else i’ll dick you down ‘til the sun rises- okay bye.’
atm the moment, that hardly sounded like a punishment but then you reflected back on how you’d be crying for a mercy after the fourth round with kenma so- yeah
anyway, moral of the story, if you perform the voice well enough, it’s basically kenma’s weakness so use it wisely 
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Hajime Iwaizumi
you first did the voice in front of him while you had a friend’s baby in your arms and you were trying to communicate with it 
it kinda looked like 
you: hewwo babyy~ who’s the most precious thing? you are! 
the baby: 🤠
the parent: 🙂
iwa: 😶
iwa ON THE INSIDE: breeding kink go brrrr 😩 i want to put a baby in her so bad- she’ll scream my name in that fucking voice tonight
and he was right
cut to him pounding you while demanding that you say his name in ✨the voice✨ or else you won’t be allowed to cum
ofc you had too much pride for that so you just let him dick you down and cum whether he likes it or not but he could tell that was the plan you had in mind so he suddenly pulled out just as you were about to reach your high
he looked at you with a mean scowl, ‘fucking say it or i’ll stop right now.’
if he were to stop, it would kinda be a punishment for him too but he didn’t care- anything to see his lovely gf suffer tbh 😇
also he could get off to you fingering yourself, struggling to orgasm- he’s done it before and he’ll gladly do it again if you don’t say his damn name 
‘iwa..’ you groaned, gripping at the sheets as you anticipated him sliding his cock back into you 
‘in the voice.’ iwaizumi reiterated, delivering a hard smack to the side of your thigh out of annoyance
you hissed at the sharp impact , gulping to lubricate your dry throat before choking out in your best imitation of the voice he desired, ‘iwa~’
he was only half-satisfied with what you uttered but i mean, it got the job done
his dick was throbbing, practically begging for the comfort of your warm cunt once again so he hastily slipped back in, letting out a low groan as he did so
so he’d continue hammer you from behind, probably muttering incoherent things about your babies and your voice while doing so but you chose to pay little attention to it as you couldn’t help but focus on your own intense pleasure
once he finally climaxed, he did it inside you which you wasn’t surprising as y’all had already established that you love being being filled up and he loves filling you up 💕
but then he insisted that y’all go for another few rounds to increase the chance of pregnancy 
like- sir-
you didn’t have the heart to tell him that you were on birth control 
bc surely......he would’ve known
but he didn’t
you eventually told him that you had no interest in coming off birth control and he wasn’t mad LMAO he didn’t even want a baby tbh he was just caught up in the moment 
yeah no but if you do the voice again, the cycle will continue
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Wakatoshi Ushijima
you were both hanging out in your bedroom, doing your own things, and you were sending your friend a (video) snap so you ironically used the uwu voice
ofc this caught his attention so he shifted his gaze off of his revision sheets and onto you, shooting you a weird look
you couldn’t help but snicker, turning to him and continuing with your little impression, ‘can i hewp you?’ you tried to ask in all seriousness but you couldn’t suppress the smile that was tugging on the corners of your lip
were you a little high? yes
ushijima just blinked rapidly, wondering why you sound like a cuter version of mickey mouse all of a sudden
was it a trend?
or maybe it was for one of those ‘tiktoks’?
either way, ushijima couldn’t help what he said next
‘no. i’m fiwne.’
IUERSBGTOHAROHSGBGFRO
HE SAID IT LIKE ‘fi - whine’ THO
you passed away 💀⚰
‘TOSHI!!!’ you screamed, feeling your soul leave your body
ushijima gasped, thinking that you had just been possessed or sumn, ‘hm?’
once he realised that you were in fact sane, he figured that your reaction must have something to do with his response 
‘did i say something wrong?’ his lips curling into the tiniest of smiles, simply because you looked so joyous so ofc he was he was happy seeing you happy
‘nope! please say it again, toshi! i’m beggin’ ya’
‘no.’
although he loved hearing you laugh more than anything, the man had his limits
ngl he doesn’t mind when you do it - it just doesn’t especially effect him, that’s all
you could just randomly start talking like that during a conversation and he’ll just go from 😐 to 😐
but he gets butterflies when you call him ‘baby’ which is something you usually pickup whenever you put on the voice lol <3
pls call him ‘baby’ or ‘babe’ more he just wants to feel cared for and loved for a change instead of always having to constantly put on a front of ‘big, stoic man with no feeling that you can push around to your hearts content’  around literally everyone. sometimes he just wants to come home and feel like he can actually express himself and be soft without getting ridiculed  
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ily-like-a-banana · 5 years
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so, today is actually my birthday it is now 2019 which is crazy because i meant to post this on my birthday (it's on dec 12 lol) but anyway, i decided to write a little something as a way to kind of celebrate my 20 years of existence. it has truly been a year of growth for me; i’ve been actively seeking who i am, my potentials, the things i love and the things i am hoping to achieve even further. 
i opened up this tumblr account early this year without any intention other than to just read the amazing works made by other carats. i haven’t been writing for years even though i spent a lot of my time doing so as a child. it would have stayed that way - a mere childhood hobby, if it weren’t for the writers i’ve stumbled upon on this site that i truly admire. 
so here’s my little notes of love. ( thank you )
@boosoonhao: i remember when i stumbled upon your works, i just had this phase where i just could not stop reading and i have convinced myself that i’ve become your little secret fan. your ideas and how you convey your stories is something i’ll always be in awe of. the way you string your words really paint vivid images in my head and ah, i don’t think you can ever write something that i won’t enjoy. you write with simplicity yet you’re able to communicate scenes or feelings that are so complex, if that makes sense. ilysm.
@tonicandjins: i’m not sure how to explain it but when it comes to you, i just feel this sense of comfort? i’m not really one to drop messages and initiate conversations bc i’m extremely shy but you always seem warm and easy to talk to that i don’t feel the usual small panic feeling whenever i leave asks haha! your works have always felt... raw to me, in a sense that you really capture the emotions of the characters and it communicates to me as something real. like it isn’t just a fic i’m reading but it’s someone’s journal instead. you’re crazy talented and ilysm!
@lxveille: honestly, i’ve gone through countless times where i’d come home from school, feeling extremely worn out and dead but my cravings to read a fic would still peek out and my go-to has always been your works! you have a way of writing scenarios that depict little moments in life that is so easy to relate to. so i always feel connected to the people in the fics- actually, just the fics in general, and that is something i really admired about your works! i also just want you to know how much comfort and inspiration your works have provided me. ilysm!
@choco-seventeen: i vividly remember my jaw literally dropping when i read ‘ivory night’ which is the first fic i’ve ever read from you! your artistry for writing is out of this world, how can anyone have so much talent on their mere fingertips? your style of writing is really one that really leaves an impact; it’s memorable and so... you. no one else can write the way you do. i can’t even finish this paragraph right now, i’m sitting here thinking so deeply. i wish i did this much thinking for my classes. you just leave me in so much awe and ilysm! (your tags also never fail to make me laugh! you’re probably the wittiest person i know on this site, wow ily)
@taeiliee-writings: the loveliest person who knows how to write the loveliest pieces ♡  the first piece i've ever read from you was one that you made for jihoon titled 'what i wish to tell him' and honestly, you just captured my heart then and there. i remember thinking 'i will definitely look forward to more of her works' and i have never once been let down; your works just keep getting better and better! definitely, i would keep supporting you and witness your growth as a writer. i'm always rooting for you! ilysm!
@chillihansol: okay, a little story time: i first talked to you when i saw you answer an ask and you mentioned that your favorite book was shatter me by tahereh mafi and i was like !!!!! okay, i must get over my fear of talking to people so i dropped an ask lmao i was on anon tho bc i'm a big chicken :'> anyway, i've been reading a lot of your works even before then and let me just say that anyone who will stumble upon your works will know how talented you are at it especially with how you seamlessly build up to the final scene; it just weaves together smoothly and i have mad respect for that! ilysm!
and to all the writers who have left the site but nonetheless made my experience here an inspiring and pleasant one, thank you. ♡
love, 
Jay :) 
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sunshinexlollipops · 5 years
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Well, I've recently gotten into good omens, and I see you posting surf about my two angel and demon babies so... in the future (your on vacation and said you were sick so don't feel the need to respond to this right away) would you be willing to write stuff for ineffable husbands? ~ 💚
Oh hey there anon!
As for me being on vacation, I got back the day before my twenty one pilots concert on the 26th. I was gone for about five days (with two of those being travel) to romp about Virginia, and then I came home for my concert.
I got sick the day we were supposed to head back, and with some other bad luck and my sudden illness, we got stuck in Virginia an extra day. I spent that day with what felt like a migraine, and by the end of that day, I was running a fever and could even get out of bed.
I’ve been sick ever since. I felt so awful I almost didn’t even go to my concert. It was fun and Tyler and Josh were great like always, but I didn’t sing or do much other than hold ice cubes to my skin. I even stepped out mid-concert, which I have never done before, to cool off in the bathroom.
I had seen a doctor the morning of and he diagnosed me with a “viral sinus infection,” but tbh, I highly doubt that is what I have. I’m pretty positive I caught a strain of flu while in Virginia, and while I was at pride. My friend that I went to see and went to pride with also got sick with a similar bug, so I’m pretty sure that’s its origin story lmao.
My fever has kind of abated, but it was on an off for a few days after the concert. I also have a bad cough now, and I literally have hot and colds sweats as well— to the point where I can’t even sleep without waking up covered in sweat and with my shirt being damp.
I powered though yesterday and didn’t call out or leave early from work, as the clinic doctor just told me to take certain over-the-counter medications to treat my issues, but today my joints in both my arms and hands ache. It’s almost as though they feel dry. I’ve never felt anything like this before, and this is coming from someone who has strained their hands and has restless leg syndrome that sometimes affects my joints in my right shoulder.
So I’m leaving work early today to see another clinic bc I’m positive I have the flu and that it is going untreated. :,)
Sorry to kinda hijack the reply here about my sick-capades, but it’s a bit of a situation lol. I literally feel miserable and like a small child who’s about to cry. I just want some soup and a nap lol.
As for writing for Good Omens, I’m not against the idea whatsoever, I just haven’t read the book or seen the show that much. I’ve seen bits and pieces of the first episode, and know a little from tumblr itself, but I haven’t gotten the chance to delve into yet.
But it sounds like something I would tackle.
I legit wrote for Sterek without ever having watched an episode of Teen Wolf (and I never will— the show was garbage lmao).
And I used to write horrible supernatural fan fic back in the day, and up until my RDR escapades all I ever wrote for were M/M ships. :,)
(Though I do know it isn’t exactly M/M but you get the jist.)
Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve tumbled down a rabbit hole like this one.
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annashipper · 6 years
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Megapost 2 - 31st of August 2018
Nonny Nr. 1:   Clockwork (LOL)! Pissed, sour, arrogant and looking preggo. I'm really about to give up, not on skeptics but on trying to find him excuses. He really looks more and more complicit of this shit.
Anna:  Oh, I’m way past finding Ben excuses.  As I’ve said countless times before, I firmly believe he’s been on the steering wheel since March of 2016  :o)
*
Nonny Nr. 2:   Can I say this is getting boring? If he's so careful to keep his private life private, why on Earth bringing his visibly pregnant wife with him? They could easily keep the pregnancy hidden and simply announce the baby's birth... unless, of course, he needs the extra-attention for his career well-being. YAWN.
Anna:  His “demure”, “pregnant” wife who recently hurt her foot, but endures it all because she’s a trooper Nonny.   There’s a reason he was calling her heroic two years back   ;o)
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Nonny Nr. 3:   I dare them to go for pregnancy number 4, 5, and 6 in her forties because that’s really common. *sarcasm She’s also got the triangular belly back! And wasn’t her belly hardly noticeable on the recent fortune IG pix?
Anna:  The more pregnancies we get to document whenever Ben has a project that’s being released on cinemas and needs a boost in publicity, the more realistic said pregnancies look Nonny.
Especially considering the pictures we got on the 24th of June with Weirdo looking like she’d drunk an extra cup of tea, then the pics we got of her from her friend’s private instagram account this week, where she looks like she’s drunk the same extra cup of tea again, and the triangular belly of much smooshiness and popped bellybutton we got yesterday.
So realistic, much inconsistent.
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Nonny Nr. 4:  "has a kids movie to promote shortly and BOOM, there she is, preggers"--No. I'm not sure what the reasoning is for this one or the 2nd one, but this isn't for The Grinch. That doesn't make sense. Way too early plus the focus audience will not care. Neither the 2nd or 3rd pregnancies occured at a time where the pregnancy would be useful to the promo at hand, and you get less attention after the 1st one to boot. TL DR there's nothing for this to sell.
Anna:  I don’t think it’s too early Nonny.  We’re about a fortnight away from the Emmys, so it’s perfect timing to get people to start paying attention for a big reveal at the Emmys red carpet.  That would ensure Ben some free publicity and cute family-friendly topics of conversation for The Grinch promo tour, which should start about a fortnight after the Emmys (the movie’s being released in the US on the 8th of November).
Perfect timing I would say   ;o)
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Nonny Nr. 5:   You’re right you really CAN set a watch to these times pregnancies can’t you. Literally every. Single. Time. It’s the beginning of Promotion his happens, even if we have them running to the gym a couple weeks ago w her slim as a rail. My god
Anna:  It’s a shame that Ben didn’t have any movies to promote for theatre release last year Nonny.  A missed opportunity to add to the CumberBatch of boys if I ever saw one...
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@jazziesb:   BC’s got a lot of serious issues in his life, now a third fake kid. It makes me sometimes really annoyed that BC keeps pretending to have kids who don’t exist and that SH wears her fake belly again. From what we saw in their interactions and behaviour towards each other SH can never really be pg, and I find it almost impossible for them to have had any kind of intercourse that would have produced real kids. All that makes me run up the wall sometimes. How can they be so stupid to think they can get away with it for even more years? Why does nobody publish these lies and make them all come out for people to see? Hollywood is full of fake relationships, but not many of them lasted this long.
Anna:  I disagree with most of your observations @jazziesb, except for the “Weirdo could never have been pregnant” part.
*
@mysticalmaniac:  I called it, I really did call it when I saw the "work-out" top that was wrinkled above the waist, but stretched taut across her abdomen. Then there's the twitter video from last night? That was the Oscar bump if I'm not mistaken. I don't know why there's a kerfuffle about this, this is going to be very entertaining. We've already got the wine glass JUST LIKE the first fake, aw, she's such a silly sow, she doesn't learn (or she does it to wipe it in the faces of his fans/nans). Pop the popcorn.
Anna:  I don’t see any kerfuffle @mysticalmaniac, but I do see the pop corn, and it’s staring right back at me  ;o)
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Fat Nosed Anon:   🙄💤 colour me surprised, Anna. What shocked me more is that it's been almost two years since the last time they shared a growing bump (or 'bump') with the world. Time flies and I still haven't won the lottery despite playing :o/ (should choose :o/ FNA as the fat noses seem to be more in fashion that I'd thought). Good job that somebody 'leaked ' the privately private so very maternal pictures in advance :o) As the weekend is getting closer, have a great one!
Anna:  Colour me unimpressed Fat Nosed Anon   ;o)
Have a wonderful weekend!  I’m starting it with a bang, since I’m going out with a group of friends for drinks tonight, and then I’m planning to go for a swim at least once this weekend, cause the heat is unbearable again on my side of the screen.
*
JT Anon:   Personally I’ll never stop laughing over her slim enviable figure from a few weeks ago to this but hey clockwork like you said
Anna:  If you’re looking for realism and consistency, you’ve tuned into the wrong showmance JT  :P
*
Mom Anon:   On gettyimages, there is NO pic of them at all so far. I think Ben should really have gone to the Jaegre LeCoultre RC, if he remains invisible for the main stream, he might as well have stayed home.
Anna:  I haven’t been able to find any pics of Ben, Weirdo or Adam on any of the pap sites I keep track of Mom Anon.  So ... no official red carpet walks I guess.
He did go to the party after The Favourite premiere, and had a chat with the cast, but I don’t see Weirdo in the background.  LINK  (thanks to @ptskeptonanny for sending me so many social media post links today by the way.  You’re awesome!)
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skia-oura · 6 years
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Orange Lilies 12/12
A/N: Here we are, at the conclusion. Thank you all for taking this journey with me!
Prologue // Previous
Ao3
What comes after.
Epilogue
           Tommy Hangar, while late-night dusting, absentmindedly turned on the TV to a ‘breaking news’ report about some disaster in Kabul. She paid it little mind—it was just for background noise, after all—until she heard the magic phrase, “Alcor the Dreambender,” and then suddenly she was Very Invested in this cover story. Tommy dropped the Everlasting Handheld Dustmop (also known as a rag with a bunch of spells in it in order to make it hardier and better at dusting) and stared for a moment before she recovered her wits.
           “Hon,” she called out, easing onto the couch like she was afraid it might bite, gaze focused on the screen on the wall showing a couple of well-dressed reporters. “Hon, you want to see this!”
           “I’m in the bathroom!” Filara’s voice was muffled by the door and distance between them. Tommy reached out with one finger and slid the volume up on the television unit.  
           “…see, the damage to the city was located in a somewhat economically depressed sector just east of the main downtown center. It seems to have started in this block of rented townhomes, as you can see from the aerial shot provided by first responders to the scene.”
           “Then hurry pissing and get out there, you want to see this!” Tommy yelled.
           “It’s a number two!” Tommy heard, but shortly after there was the sound of the toilet unit being flushed. Tommy leaned forward, her elbows on her legs, and stared at the devastation depicted even as the news anchors described it.
           “Shockwaves were reported at 3:26 local time to a nearby fire station from a location nearly a kilometer away from the epicenter. Shortly after, several buildings shook as though an extended earthquake event was occurring. Pedestrians were thrown from their feet, and some were crushed under collapsing walls that were torn apart by the force of the blows exchanged between two demonic forces. As we said earlier, one of the two demons was positively identified to be Alcor the Dreambender.”
           On the screen, buildings were partially to fully collapsed the closer they were to the epicenter, a partially still-standing block of townhomes. One of them had a hole in the roof, from what Tommy could see before the view faded back to the two anchors, faces stern. Down the hall, the bathroom door opened.
           “That’s correct, Penny,” the centaur said, their tail swishing behind them in what Tommy thought might be agitation. “Several consulting demonologists on the second-response team were quick to point out that not only was Alcor the Dreambender participating in a fight, but his opponent was another rather strong demon titled Lilith. From what we understand, the battle lasted perhaps three minutes above Kabul before being relocated to the nearby Hindu Kush mountains, but the consequences of the short encounter were huge for Kabul.”
           “All right, what do I have to see?” Filara asked, reaching over the back of the couch and pressing a kiss to Tommy’s neck. Tommy shivered and reached up to curve her hand along Filara’s cheek.
           “Just watch,” Tommy said. Filara hummed, then did that thing where she just climbed over the back of the couch instead of walking around to the other side like a normal person. Tommy sighed, and adjusted so that she could lean against Filara, her chin hooking into the valley of Filara’s shoulder.
           “So far, almost five hundred residences and places of work have been labeled non-viable, just over fifty have been found dead, and a further ninety six people have been injured. Experts estimate that there should be another one hundred casualties, though they differ in opinion on how many of these casualties should be fatal or simply injured.”
           Filara hummed. “This is awful, but why should I be seeing this?”
           “Shh,” Tommy said, patting Filara’s stomach.
           On screen, the centaur’s human companion nodded gravely. She picked up a data pad, glanced down at it, and then addressed the camera. “While it is historically one of the less traumatic incidences of fighting between Alcor and other demons, experts say to exercise caution. According to these experts, Alcor’s reemergence after such a long period of inactivity is something to watch. Please do not attempt to summon Alcor the Dreambender, as you will be putting your life as well of the lives of everybody around you at risk.”
           “Oh,” Filara said. She rubbed her hand down Tommy’s side. “Ah. I see.”
           “Unsurprisingly, when looking at historical cases such as the event that caused the formation of the Californian Federation over two millennia ago, this demonic encounter also made big changes to the environment. Mishana, take it away.”
           The centaur nodded. “Of course. It seems that, from initial reports, that the massively toxic Kabul river has somehow been purified of said dangerous toxins. The river has never been clearer. This footage, of the site where experts are nearly certain the remainder of the demonic encounter took place, will show you this odd phenomenon currently taking place.” The camera shifted to pan a view of what looked like it was a normal mountain range just a while ago, but now was some kind of weird freaky smooth melted-stone valley. The hair on the back of Tommy’s neck stood up just looking at it. She got further goosebumps at the way the river changed from murky and viscous to clear and quick at one point near the far end of the valley.
           “Well,” Filara said. “I’m not sure I ever want him in my house again, nice as it was to talk to him.”
           “Don’t think we have any kind of choice,” Tommy said, quietly. She stared at the screen. “And, well, as fucking awful as that horror shit looks, it can’t be all bad? I mean, the river’s so clear you could probably peep through it and see somebody changing on the other side.”
           Filara huffed. “Yes, romantic, way to remind me of how we met.”
           “Accident,” Tommy drawled. She had let Filara know that her windows should probably be dimmed, just in case, and by the way that was a cute mole she had on her butt. “Also, this house is in one piece, right? And so are we? And that little kiddiwink hangs around him. Could be worse.”
           On the screen, the news agency showed videos of the destruction in the mountains next to ones of the devastation in Kabul proper. Filara sighed. “Could be worse indeed.”
Pandemonium Server: “Sigil_Works”
General Channel
 Karl Svinhish 7:39 AM
Posting in all channels: Just as a reminder to all personnel, today is a half-day! Please only work three hours of your six. If you work more, we will know. We will find you. You will go home at some point.
 Ennis Hart 7:41 AM
lol what u gonna do, u can’t stop us from thinking at home, we got shit to get done and thru before the Terminator comes back
also u don’t gotta do that in all channels smh
 Karl Svinhish 7:41 AM
We cannot stop you from doing anything outside of the workplace, but please be reminded that as Thinktank department personnel, our insurance does not cover you for any sigil work done outside the premises!
 Sally Minh 7:42 AM
wait, mr. farkas is back??
 Ziyi Zhang 7:42 AM
Wait what??? My favorite????? Where was he????????
 Ennis Hart 7:42 AM
how the shit is bentley farkas, destroyer of dreams and rejecter of perfectly good plans, your fav
 Ziyi Zhang 7:43 AM
Bentley Farkas is a God among Mortals and you should not profane his name like this
 Sally Minh 7:44 AM
honestly, mr. farkas is Sigils Goals
 Anish Wellington 7:44 AM
Do we know what happened to him? He was kidnapped, right?
 Lucas Onderon 7:45 AM
yall are loud way too early in the morning. go away morning people
 Ennis Hart 7:45 AM
yeah he kidnapped i think?? i think sally took that phone call
also lucas turn us on mute if you want to sleep
 Lucas Onderon 7:46 AM
But now were talking about the mysterious mister farkas I need to put in my two cents
 Sally Minh 7:47 AM
yes, the police said that there had been an incident and that it looked like mr. farkas had been the victim of some kind of kidnapping, and had officially been listed as a missing person. they only  told me because literally nobody else was at work.
 Anish Wellington 7:48 AM
Thank you Sally. I will be sleeping again but if there are any updates, please tag me.
 Sally Mihn 7:48 AM
Ok!
 Lucas Onderon 7:48 AM
and that is that benny boy might act super nice and be super smart and all that shit, but he got a stick up his ass and needs to chill out instead of freaking out over every single proposal we send him. hed gotten unbearable after minhaj left.
 Ziyi Zhang 7:49 AM
#internlife
also u know that @BentleyFarkas is in this chat, right?? He’s going to see all of this.
 Lucas Onderon 7:50 AM
hes nerver in here nayways
lkadjklwj
*never in here anyways
 Karl Svinhish 7:50 AM
Please refrain from being rude! We do not tolerate bullying and rudeness in this chat, especially when those being bullied have been kidnapped and recently escaped said kidnapping!
 Ennis Hart 7:51 AM
holy shit wait he escaped?? Not police action or whatever??
 Sally Minh 7:51 AM
Is he okay?
 Ziyi Zhang 7:52 AM
yeah is he ok? Any deets?
 Lucas Onderon 7:52 AM
Bentley ‘gives in to puppy dog eyes’ farkas actually escaped? What?? you cant just leve it at that
*leave
@BentleyFarkas explain
 Karl Svinhish 7:53 AM
Leave him alone! He is recovering, and will be on indefinite leave of absence.
 Lucas Onderon 7:53 AM
Paid???
 Karl Svinhish 7:53 AM
There is the possibility that he will be working remotely!
 Ennis Hart 7:54 AM
But u said we cant take work home???? insurance doesn’t cover outside work premises????
 Karl Svinhish 7:54 AM
That’s for the Thinktank department! Bentley Farkas has been consistently attentive to detail and is one of the leading minds in this field, and as such we have entered negotiations with our insurance agency.
 Ziyi Zhang 7:56 AM
why you hatin? bentley farkas is a god of sigils. i would say more but bentley is in this server.
 Ennis Hart 7:56 AM
U don’t see him in thinktank do u
 Sally Minh 7:56 AM
bc hes too good for thinktank
Bentley Farkas 7:57 AM
That’s bc Im too good at practics 4 u
 Lucas Onderon 7:57 AM
bc hes overrated is what and thinktank knows that
 Ziyi Zhang 7:57 AM
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BENTLEY??!??!!??!?
 Sally Minh 7:58 AM
mr. farkas???
 Lucas Onderon 7:58 AM
holy shit
 Bentley Farkas 7:59 AM
The rumors of my death were highly exaggerated. but im only saying that im alive and have my hands on a phone. i probs wont be coming back to work for a while. working things out.
 Ennis Hart 7:59 AM
send us a pic or ur an imposter
 Karl Svinish 8:00 AM
Please don’t feel pressured to do anything Bentley! We’re with you all the way. Also please send me the documents we discussed yesterday as soon as possible.
 Bentley Farkas 8:00 AM
It’s ok, promise not to scream.
IMG_59703
 Ziyi Zhang 8:00 AM
@AnishWellington GET BACK IN HERE HOLY SHIT
WHAT THE FUCK BENTLEY
           “Hey, this is Torako Lam! Leave a text for me after the beep, unless you’re my dads, in which case leave me a VM so that I can hear your voices! Have a great day, and stay cool.”
-beep-
           “Hey Tora, this is your dear old Dad! Just calling in to check and see how you’re doing. You missed our weekly call yesterday. I know that Bentley going missing has been a big blow, and I’m worried about you. Please call me back! If nothing else, I can sort of keep you company for a bit. Love you lots!”
-beep-
           “Torako, is everything okay? You haven’t responded to my texts or your Father’s. Your workplace said that you were on suspension. I just want to make sure that you’re doing all right. Tyrone hasn’t answered his phone either, and Bentley is obviously out of the question. Please call us back. Any time is okay, even at a god-awful hour in the morning. Love you so much, bye.”
-beep-
           “Torako, this is Mama. Your Father called me, said that your Dad and he hadn’t heard from you at all lately? What’s up with that darling? They’re getting frightened that you’re dead. I told them that that’s nonsense, you’re far too tough for that. Your Father and I made you, after all! Then again, we made you, so I am a very small bit worried. If you have some troubles you can’t tell your Dad or Father, you can tell me. I know I’ve been busy recently, but I can make time for you. Loves and smooches, your Mama.”
-beep-
           “Torako, what’s going on?? It’s been a week, and all we’ve heard out of you is one solitary ‘I love you, I’m alive’ text. Which, thank you, but also that’s worrying! Are you in danger? Is Tyrone gone too? I tried talking to some of your old hurling friends, but none of them know where you are. I will get on a port to your apartment in the next day if you don’t respond. I love you, but please tell me that you’re okay! Goodbye.”
-beep-
           “Yo, Tora, it’s Hana, long time no talk! So your Dad contacted me yesterday about you being like out of town or out of touch or something? And I’m a little concerned?? I heard from him that your life partner went missing, which is sad and also makes me worried about you. Are you okay? I’m here for you if you need me. Catch you later!”
-beep-
           “Torako, this is Officer Akuapem. Hepsa has been getting better. They think she can return to work next month. I hope things are going well for you. We are continuing to investigate. There seems to be a lead into Canada. We have been tracing emails. Maybe you already know this; we had a report of a break and enter a few days ago. It was to someone we thought might be tied into the investigation. Please be careful. Don’t do anything stupid.”
-beep-
           “Tora, this is Lata’s mom. She said something about seeing you last night! Thank you for following up on that message; you don’t seem to have received any of my texts, so I thought I would try my had at a VM. It’s been so long since I left one! Again, thank you very much. When you find Bentley, let him know he was missed! I hope he is okay. That’s all, thanks! Goodbye!”
-beep-
           “What’s going on Torako? Why did you send me that cryptic message that you love me and that if you don’t message me again you failed? What are you failing? Are you doing something stupid? Please don’t do this Torako. Don’t do this to us. Please be safe. I love you. Be safe. Stay safe. We love you.”
-beep-
           “This is your Father. Please be careful. Your Dad is worried sick. We love you. Stay safe. Come home soon.”
-beep-
End of messages. Do you want to delete these messages? Select yes, no, or other options.
Other options selected. Your options are: respond with call, respond via VM, respond via text, respond via film video, select and archive messages, forward mes—
Respond with call selected. Which messages would you like to respond to? Please select the releva—
Message “What’s going on Torako? Why—” selected. Sender: Dad. Time: 3 hours ago. Are you sure you want to select this message? Yes or—
Understood. Calling in three…two…one.
-ring-
-ri—
           “Torako??!”
“Yo, hey Dad. Uh. Hi. How are you.”
“Torako?? Are you okay?? Where are you, what’s going on, is everything all right, what in the Fathomless Seas made you send such a frightening message?”
“So, funny story.” A laugh. “Not funny, but I’m more or less okay, only minimally hurt and traumatized. It’s fine. Also we’re outside right now.”
Silence.
“Outside??”
“Yeah, and uh,” Torako said, “Bentley’s been through shit and there’s some stuff we haven’t told you. So like. Yeah. Don’t scream when you come outside.”
Footsteps. “Scream, why would I scream?”
Opening door. Quick inhale, then the start of a scream before it is muffled behind a hand.
“I’ll explain everything, I promise,” Torako said. “Can we…come in?”
A pause. When spoken, the voice is a little strained. “Okay. Come in please.”
“Thank you, now let me just—” A click, and a dial tone that cuts out.
           The study was large and well-lit by two giant windows. Their thin, magically reinforced glass panes somehow seemed to let in more sunlight than they should be capable of, like they were capturing brightness and magnifying it to a subtle degree. There was a slightly dusty off-white desk in front of the shorter window at the head of the room. Stacks of books and papers and tablets towered in neat, short little hills, and there was an old-fashioned ballpoint pen sat in the middle, near a clear space for the user to sit at and work. A pair of archivists gloves was nearby, and a desk lamp floated at one corner. At the other corner, there was a small vase with two bright orange lilies caught in stasis.
           Runes flared along the edges of the ceiling, turning brighter and brighter until they burst in a small thunderclap of sound. The wallpaper tore, burned, and ash rained down on the formerly pristine room. It dotted the long red couch perpendicular to the desk in deceptively soft flakes, fragile and dangerous all at once. Flakes of burning wallpaper continued to fall down even as another presence filled the room, blacks and golds and browns and pale skin. Alcor the Dreambender cast his gaze about the room, face utterly still as he took it all in. The ash did not touch him. Nobody entered the room.
           He blinked, long and languid, at the floor to ceiling storage shelves containing all matter of memorabilia and research materials. He stared out the window at the deep, endless ocean, waves crashing against the cliffs below. He set his eyes on the desk, inhaled, and then drifted closer. With one gloved hand, he picked up one of the stacked antique books—Gleeful, Silent, Ferocious—and looked through it, flipping the pages slowly. He paused on one and read it more carefully, then snorted. “They get the funniest ideas,” he said, and he shut the book, set it on the desk carefully.
           Then he tilted his head at the tome. It had some wrong bits, but it wasn’t all that bad. There were a few that were decent, actually. Dipper tugged them from under the other stacks, sending them sliding down and across the desk. Torako would like them, he thought. And a couple were like, super rare, so if nothing else she could sell them online and get bank.
           Alcor slid the books into his stomach, feeling a little sick at the memory of pulling the three of them out of him: Bentley unconscious and with a sluggish heartbeat, Torako wide-eyed and trembling and barely keeping it together, Haji freaked out beyond measure. He’d made a deal—those memories for the means to get out of Kabul and somewhere safe—but Torako had refused to, clutching Bentley to her with a wild, nearly feral look on her face. But they were safe, now. They were safe.
           Though, Dipper thought as he considered exactly what he’d just done with the books, he’d still be careful about pulling them out in front of people. Maybe he wouldn’t pull them out in front of Bentley or Torako at all. Yes. That was the safest option. Torako’s dads would also possibly mind it if he extricated the books from his demonic bowels via tentacle too, thinking about it. Alone. Alone it was.
           He then looked up at the splash of orange, the lilies in the crystal vase, spinning slowly midair. Alcor the Dreambender reached out, and his gloves melted away so that his bare fingers could touch the petals. Lurid. Bright. Beautiful.
           If he’d gotten his hands on Fantino’s soul, they would have either been eaten, or would have suffered debilitating allergies to flowers for the next several lives.
           Instead Dipper withdrew his fingers and looked at the flowers. Then, he reached out again, blue fire sparking along the channels of friction ridges in the pads of his fingers, and touched them. The fire sputtered, then flared, consuming the flowers and shooting down the line of magic tethering them to the desk. Dipper stared at it, looked through the desk to the manuscripts of new publications in progress, and smiled. The fire wouldn’t stop until the house burned down.
           Dipper stayed a moment longer just to see the books and the desk and the tablets burst into flame, and then he blipped out of the study and its long, beautiful windows and its pristine pale features. The windows caught the light inside and amplified it, gently, subtly, to glow a soft blue that didn’t alarm the neighbors until it was too late for anything of Dr. Vallian Fantino to be saved.
           The air was heavy with salt, enough that when Bentley opened his mouth and breathed he could taste it on his tongue. It was also heavy with the sound of the tide, crashing and crumbling and receding with the tide. This beach was empty because of the dangerously sharp rocks tumbling on the seafloor not even two meters in from the edge. Honestly, though, that suited Bentley just fine, early in the morning with the night coolness still clinging to the breeze. Bentley closed his eyes, and breathed it in.
           It had been five days since they’d gone home, to Torako’s parents, and he still wasn’t tired of the feeling of natural air against his skin. He was tired of having to eat soft, bland food, and was tired of how odd it felt to go to the bathroom, but he wasn’t tired of being somewhere that rubbed against his skin and filled his chest with thrumming energy. He wasn’t tired of being able to refuse to go to a hospital, and instead have a hospital come to him.
           He also wasn’t tired of the feeling of sand on his skin. Bentley smiled, and wriggled his feet deeper into the soft sand. When he opened his eyes, the residual magic of it glimmered, just enough to be noticed but not enough to be distracting. It was nice. It was okay. It would be okay.
           Out further, where the sand became damp and the waves foamed with the force of their collisions, the water also glimmered, deep and dark like Dipper sometimes was. Bentley could see it now, more than ever: Dipper’s continuing influence on the islands, even after a long two millennia. It would have been something that explained how Dipper was able to hide his energy signature here so well. It would have been something Bentley’s Dad would have loved to know. Bentley set his face in his hands, his elbows on his knees, and looked out to sea.
           “What would you have thought of all this?” Bentley wondered out loud. The wind picked at his short hair, his long sleeves and his pants, and he felt cold despite the relative warmth. He thought about Fantino, and said, “What do you think of me now?”
           “What does who think of you now?”
           Bentley stiffened, but let out a deep breath and looked up over his shoulder. “Torako,” he said, and the warmth inside him wasn’t fake even if his dumb brain wouldn’t let go of the fact he’d dreamed about her being mean. Ugh.
           “Me? I think you’re pretty great,” she said, a crooked smile on her face. She dug her toes into the sand, sandals hanging from two hooked fingers. Bentley let out a fond, exasperated sigh.
            “Thanks,” Bentley said. “I think you’re pretty great too. Most of the time, at least.”
           Torako gasped and held her hand over her heart. “Only most of the time? Your conditional love wounds me.”
           Bentley snorted. “Sit down already, you goof.”
           She laughed and sat, legs stretching out, heels digging long trenches into the soft sand. Bentley watched how the morning sunlight glinted off the scars running root-like over her shins and calves, tangled and thin and innumerable. They too glimmered with magical byproduct. Everything glimmered these days, just about.
           “Hey.” Torako nudged his shoulder with hers. “It’s not a big deal, doesn’t even hurt.”
           “Because the doctors caught it in time to mitigate the damage, you mean.” Bentley shut out false memories of physical and emotional abuse and leaned into her. “Otherwise, you might have barely been able to walk because it would have hurt you so much.”
           Torako hummed. “Eh.”
           “Your bones had been shattered and then fused back together,” Bentley said. “You’re lucky it was fresh enough and magical enough that they could do a localized rewind on the bones.” Curses weren’t generally regarded as lucky, but in this case it was lucky that they could treat Torako’s leg as a curse.
           “Not the end of the world.” Torako shifted her legs so that her ankles crossed. Sand clung, dry, to her toes. “Besides, it didn’t happen, I’m fine. It’s a non-issue at this point, unlike you.”    
           This time, Bentley gasped and held his hand over his heart. “I’m an issue?” He knew when to leave something alone, even if shattering and melting was pretty damn traumatizing in his book.
           “Shut up, you’re not,” Torako said, grinning. She tousled his hair, and he hid a smile behind one hand at the familiarity. “No, I’m talking about what that place did to you—and don’t say it’s just cosmetic, you little shit.”
           Back at you, Bentley thought but didn’t say. “I mean,” he said instead, waving a hand at his face, “It kind of is? I look very different, and the nurse that visited said there wasn’t anything physically wrong with me.”
           “Pssh, I don’t need a nurse to tell that you’re also cold, like, all the time.” She pulled him closer and he let her, because he was cold and she looked very warm. “And you look at stuff funny sometimes, and you haven’t touched sigils since coming back, and the theft detector at the grocery store screamed at you going in. I think we need another specialist to come in to see you, actually.”
           “Let’s not. Also, the detector wasn’t my fault.” Bentley frowned at the waves further out, not because they had done anything wrong but because the grocery store experience had been awful. He would have made the very bad decision of running away if Torako hadn’t been with him, and if she hadn’t been shaking herself. They’d ended up just going home and letting her dads do the shopping.
           “Yes, that is true. But they never went off on you before, so that place absolutely did something to you. Somethings, even.”
           Bentley took a deep breath. He closed his eyes, then gave her a little noncommittal hum and snuggled into her. She was warm, as he’d thought. Torako slid her hand into his. He listened to her heartbeat, steady against the backdrop of crashing waves. They curled further into each other in silence. Bentley ended up with his legs slung over the valley of her lap, head resting at the hollow of her collarbone, her chin nestled on top of his head. Her arms were secure around him. It was…nice.
           He’d almost drifted off when she asked, “So what’s next?”
           The first somewhat intelligible sound he made was “Huh?” It was also probably the third of fourth sound he’d made, the first few being byproducts of transitioning into clearer awareness. Somewhere in the distance, seabirds called out. The horn of a fishing boat sounded, the blare of it softened by space. Bentley let out a slow breath, content.
           “What do we do now?” Torako asked. “Somehow, even if by some miracle I graduate, I don’t think that Officer Akuapem would support me entering the police force. And will you even go back to work? What do we—what happens, after the shit that we just went through?”
           Bentley cracked his eyes open. Before him, the beach stretched on into the horizon, buildings rising out of it and pressing up, up into the sky. On the left was the sea, dark with crests of white, shimmering with sunlight and supernatural energy. “I’ve been considering it. Going back, I mean. But…”
           Torako squeezed his hand, and waited for him to answer.
           “Sigils are…hard.” Bentley looked at their hands, at his mismatched fingers interspersed between hers. “And I don’t think I’ll stay there forever. Plus, you’re higher priority. I’ll go wherever you need to.”
           “No, silly, I go where you go.” She hugged him tighter. “You were in there a long time. You call the shots.”
           “And you found me,” Bentley murmured. He shifted back so he could look her in the eyes, so that she knew how much she meant. How much she mattered. “You searched long and hard and found me. I wouldn’t have…” he stopped, suddenly filled with shame and guilt and horror. He looked away, to the sea.
           Torako leaned forward to kiss him on the forehead. “You would have died,” she said. “You would have killed yourself.” Her voice shook a little when she said the words for him.
           Bentley swallowed against the stiffness of his throat, because she was right, and because he couldn’t say it. He knew it, but he couldn’t say it.
           “And that…” Torako took a deep breath. She pulled him back to her with soft but firm hands. “That really upsets me. Really. But you were—alone, and desperate, for so so long, so. I understand. It’s not okay but…I understand.”
           He squeezed her hand, watched the waves crumble into the sand. Watched them pull back, and do it over, and over, and over.
           “And we’re going to talk about that, as soon as you’re ready. First, though—what’s next? We can’t stay with my dads forever. Tyrone just about gives them a heart attack every time he shows up, I’m sure of it. They’re going to snap eventually.”
           Bentley managed a short laugh. “Yeah.” He breathed in, then out, then in and asked, “What do you want?”
           “Me?”
           “Yeah,” he said. “I might be able to do remote work. So. What do you want?”
           This time, Torako was silent, and Bentley waited.
           “I don’t want to make you upset,” Torako said at length.
           “You won’t.” Bentley turned and pressed his cheek to her collarbone.
           She still hesitated. Birds called, the ocean sang a symphony, and somebody let out a jubilant shout for whatever reason, and Torako remained silent next to him.
           Bentley shifted to press a kiss to her collarbone instead of his cheek, and then slid his forehead to the same spot. “I promise.” If he got upset, he’d get over it.
           Torako let out a sigh of frustration. “Like, I miss it. Cult bashing. Parts of it, I mean, not everything. Being away from you sucked a lot.”
           He hummed to let her know he was still listening.
           “And I hate that you were missing. Like, even cult bashing, when I knew you were safe, I hated it. When I didn’t know? Hell. It was stressful, I was always tired, Dipper was a mess and I was a mess and everything was awful. Except, it kind of wasn’t. Looking back, there were parts I liked, you know?”
           When she didn’t continue immediately, Bentley prompted, “Like?”
           She nuzzled her nose into his hair. “Putting pieces together,” she murmured. “Not having all the bureaucratic tape to deal with. The thrill, sometimes. Imminent danger, not so much, but the adrenaline was…nice.”
           This wasn’t upsetting at all, though Bentley could maybe see why she thought he would think so. He didn’t say that yet, though. “So what’s next then?”
           There was a moment where all he heard from her was her breath, and then she asked, “You’re not upset?”
           “No,” he said. “So, tell me—what’s next?”
           “I,” she said. Then, she laughed and she tousled his hair again. “I asked you first, fishbrains! What’s next, huh, Bentley?”
           “Hey!” He swatted at her hand and rolled off her lap to kneel next to her. She was smiling, hair still slightly damp from her morning shower, tank-top sliding off her right shoulder. Her eyes gleamed with something that wasn’t magic, but Bentley almost felt was. Fondness blooming gentle in him, he raised his hands and cradled her face between them. Her smile slipped, eyes wide, and she looked at him like he was the most amazing thing in the world.
           He loved her, he realized again. He loved her like he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He didn’t love her like he wanted to engage in any kind of kissing, or groping, or even dating, but he wanted—he wanted. He wanted her with him for the rest of his life, and it was a realization that he’d made a long time ago but still didn’t know quite what to do with. Torako was—vibrant, and wonderful, and he’d long resigned himself to the possibility of another person wedging themselves between them, better and stronger. And maybe it wasn’t a healthy thought; pan trios, and quads, and even quints existed in the world, but something in him didn’t want another person. The rest of him knew that was selfish, and wrong, and that if Torako wanted to go, if she needed to go—he wouldn’t get in the way.
           But by the seas and the stars did he love her.
           “We…take it a day at a time,” he said.
           “That’s specific,” she said, eyebrows quirking and mouth slanting up, cockeyed.
           “Oh hush. We take it a day at a time,” he said again. “We figure our shit out as we go, and know that things’ll go wrong but that’s okay. We talk.”
           “I would hope so.”
           He smooshed her cheeks in, and she laughed, eyes squinting almost shut with joy. Bentley laughed at the sight of her.
           Gripping her cheeks between his fingers and pulling them out a little, he said, “We do stupid shit and try new things and try old things again. We…don’t stay on Minte de Daos, because, you know, Tyrone.”
           Torako reached out and grabbed his own face, so he quickly let go of her cheeks. She smirked at him. “Good plan. Very detailed.”
           “And,” he said, shuffling closer. The sand shifted around him. “We go back home. You see about school, I see about doing work away from work and cutting it down to part time, because I’m…messed up.” He bit his lip, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath before soldiering on. “I’m messed up, and I need help but I can’t get it because of what exactly went down. So I do my best to help myself. And I do my best to help you help yourself.”
           Torako nodded. Her palms relaxed against his cheeks. “Yeah. I can’t be your therapist, and you can’t be mine.”
           “And then, when you’re done with school…you look into options. Like, I don’t know, a private investigator.”
           She wrinkled her nose. “Ugh, that’s so much paperwork.”
           “So something else,” Bentley said, just as he heard a soft noise, like something tearing, like the sound of smoothing out a sheet of paper. “We can—we can figure it out as we go. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
           “What are we figuring out as we go?” Dipper asked. “And why are we holding each other’s faces?”
           Bentley looked up at Dipper, staring down at the both of them. Torako did the same. Dipper’s eyes were black and gold, even though the rest of him was as human as possible. “What to do next,” Bentley said.
           “Yeah, Tyrone,” Torako asked. “What’s next?”
           Dipper frowned at them. He pressed his lips together, and something flashed across his face before he shoved it down. Bentley’s smile dimmed, and he opened his mouth to—apologize? Say something?–when Dipper grinned wide and a little too sharp, and said, “There’s lots of options, but apparently one ends with either Torako or Bentley with sand up to their necks, so. There’s that!”
           Bentley looked at Torako, her face framed by his hands. Torako looked at him, and squished his cheeks a little. Then Torako looked up, smiled prettily in that way that made Bentley’s internal alarms scream with urgency, and said, “I think you left out an option,” before tackling Dipper into the sand. Dipper squawked and went down flailing his limbs and sending beach flying everywhere.
           “Get off! I am an almighty creature of pure energy!”
           Torako caught Bentley’s eye over her shoulder, and he grinned. With a little trepidation, a little nervousness, he sunk his finger into the sand. There was a moment after where he stared at the sand, its magic, and wondered if this was really such a good idea. He’d caused a lot of damage, back in the pocket dimension. The sand had power of its own, who knew how that would interact?
           Dipper screeched, Torako laughed, and Bentley drew a sigil. Behind them, the ocean undulated, waves cresting white out of the darkness of the water, seafoam fizzing against the porous sand of the shore. The tides moved, the currents shifted according to latent, now natural energy. Above, seabirds called and searched for food. A fishing boat pulled in its haul, protected by spells to ensure it wouldn’t lose any of its catch to mercenary fowl. A man on the beach a kilometer away kept staring at his phone and grinning. The mermaid civilization a few clicks away wove new birthing homes into being. A children’s class practiced hula on the shore, a cervitaur held up a shell to the sun to see how the light shone through, an old married couple held hands and walked, slow, along the tide where the sand was wet and firm and their rings glinted in the early morning.
           The world glimmered, bright.
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survivormetaverse · 3 years
Text
Episode 12 - "i'm baaaaaacckkkkk 😈" ~Jodi
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An iconic moment happened today and I accidentally voted my closest ally out of the game. So Brayden got sent home and he is going to hate me when he finds out what happened. I did kind of get him out on accident I did not mean for Brayden to go I wanted Jay gone but I was blindsided by Colin and Josh and Elle AND AMY!!??]£[_[3 Omg. Im really upset that hes gone i miss him so much and I dont know how Im gonna go on without his brain. I dont trust Jay but Jared and Jay were both messaging me about how they already forgive me and stuff so thats a little crazy. I think it could be fake or they are just desperate for numbers. But I am with Josh and Amy and Colin and Elle now. I want to be with their numbers. I talked to all of them individually and they said they all were sorry for lying to me and causing me to get my friend out. I know its just a game but I just feel awful and so guilty right now. This has probably been the worst day of my life. He probably will never play another org with me again and hes the only reason i play orgs its boring without him. We are best friends increal life and I hope he can forgive me. I havent said anything to him because thats breaking the rules. But when he finds out im literally so scared of what he'll say to me. I pray he will forgive me I am literally so dumb af.
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i'm baaaaaacckkkkk..................... 😈
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This is literally worst case right now with jodi winning the play back like throughout the day she has won back her allies including anastasia since she swapped coins with her. Elle, colin, and josh all gave me all their coins to grab immunity before the other side to protect me but also it makes me a bigger target lol plus I gave elle some swapped to get the second thing the leftover because I THOUGHT it could give us an extra vote since that was ony menu but I was tired and drunk and it was a LOT of words and it was just the hunts which I knew didn't have any and I feel terrible bc 150 tokens and my actual alliance is going to be so mad when they realize THAT I HAVE THE LAST ONES and fucked up in suggesting it at all. First they were going for info. So now I think Jodi got all the other sides tokens and they are pooling for something idek. It's literally worst case like we were set to be up 5-2 or at least 4-3 and now it looks like it's 4-4 again hahaha neat. And it looks like colin is chatting with jodi again and they are making deals lol like tbh if she gets to the end I am voting for her to win I've said it many rounds. Turns out anastasia and brayden not only know each other irl they are besties so she mad mad. And Josh looks to be making deals and thinking about flipping so I am on borrowed time but tbh I never expected to make merge. I am glad I have immunity bc I physically couldn't do the challenge anywU here lol and I fucked that up too hahahaha. Good times all around. Like I want to tell them about my steal a vote to have official numbers but now they'd just be mad hahaha literally colin and I had every advantage except jared's idol now. Ahhhh idk what to do but it remains hilarious. I'm expecting Raffy to give my info in these in the market and that is no bueno ahahahaha. I am tempted to just give colin everything bc it's funny. Also jodi talked to me until 1am just trying to guilt me into being back with her I said I have to sleep goodnight like 5 times minimum. Her social game is so good that's why I think she has them all back with her and possibly josh. The problem is that I was keeping her close bc she had the info from others and from my game. I really never had a number one lol bc I was just vibing and I guess now colin is bc I flipped with him lol and I think it's hilarious he grew his army from 0 to 5 almost.
~
I have a suspicion colin and anastasia have actually been closely aligned this whole time and she knew everything all along. Colin sure loves giving out info haha. And apparently deals are happening all over, none of which I have made 😂
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Jodi's backkkkk, wild wild wilddddd. The challenge went poorly, darn thats like 20 minutes wasted. We bought the refresh and there was nothing there 💔 that's 150 tokens wasted 😅. But! We got Amy immunity✨ and then Colin won the challenge so tbh everything's still going great lol. Wonder how we're gonna vote this round :/ we'll see how this goes! I've stopped worrying whether I'm going completely, it either happens or it doesn't 💖 xoxo, gossip girl (this is misleading I HAVE NOT SEEN THE SHOW i just know way too much about it because i have friends that did lol)
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So after I voted my showmance Brayden out of the game I was left with an interesting situation. I had cried to Josh Colin and Amy that I was alone now and that my whole alliance hated me. With Jodi back in, I dont think they believe me. I literally flipped sides so I could be in their alliance because I didnt trust Jay and Jared and Jodi. But they literally lied to me about the vote and said it was nothing personal to me but they didnt tell me the plan because they wanted to see if I was lying. Which sucks for me because I then voted Brayden out :( Now that they know that im truthful they said they would work with me now. But all of them have been pretty inactive today. I talked to Amy the most and a little Colin and a little Josh. But I wasnt in their alliance. So I asked Amy if I could be added into an alliance chat since I was apperently in their alliance now. And she said sure. And they added me to a vote block. That is not an alliance group chat btw. So I was like wow thanks. But inside I was like screw this. So before this all happened, Jodi, Jay and Jared put me in a true alliance group chat. This morning I was ready to work with Colin and Josh but not anymore. Not after they put me in a vote block chat clearly saying to me that I am just a number to be used. They don't even need my vote either because Amy has an idol and Amy and Colin are safe. So I'm obviously voting with Jay, Jared, and Jodi. And I know they probably have a final three without me. They could call it something really cool like the three J's. But I called Jay and explained everything to him. (Also Jay forgave me for literally trying to get him out. He umderstands that its a game and all of my motives about not trusting him anymore.) He said he would be a hypocrite if he didnt forgive me because he told people my name in the chaos vote. So I actually think we are cool. And I told Jay that I am his number one. Which is true. He told me a lot of things about how Amy is actually really smart and stuff (I thought that girl was just a goat that I could take to the end with me) But her and colin are tight and both immune. This is bad. Basically we will go to rocks unless Elle flips to our side. Jay is giving his pitch to Elle tommarow. And maybe I will apologize to her correctly tomarow too. ALSO SPELLING THE WORD TOMARROW IS THE HARDEST THING IN MY LIFE. Also I took 62 minutes to complete a puzzle today so thats kind of emberassing. Anyways bye everyone this was so much fun to type omg.
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Lol I woke up to a text from jodi asking if anyone was taking about votes yet and I said no because I went to sleep early bc I almost passed out from heat yesterday and had just woke up and she responded "ummmm lol...." 🤣🤣🤣 Sorry I sleep. She's in Colin's dms saying how I was legit her number one and now we can't even talk about votes. Like yeah girl we worked our asses off to get you out of the game sorry I'm not happy you are back. Also I'm still at disney world so I don't have the time for a million conversations. I know I'm going to be the Russell Hanz of the f3 /if/ I make it. So what's jury management lol like she was already pissed I voted her out and I plan to do it again. Anyway it looks like it's hilariously about to be a unanimous jay vote tonight but I am thinking we throw one vote somewhere else in case of an idol. But if jodi did get anastasia back we can't do that. Anyway lol I'm immune so whatever. Elle and Colin discussed like if it's on elle (which apparently jared proposed an alliance of 5 which included myself lol!) Then we could go to rocks and have only josh as a possibility and statistically he won't go if he is willing to go to rocks that it. All this to say I'm f7 and I want to keep my extra vote to f6 if possible so I can use the idol for fun at f5.
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https://youtu.be/snpKevncc44
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My quest has come to an end. I joined this game to be someone who could be there for Jodi. Jodi and I played survivor subrosa together and we both had rough experiences due to a player in the game who harassed jodi and tried to convince everyone I was misogynistic. As much as I love Survivor, I didn’t play this game to win. I played this game because Jodi told me she was playing it and I wanted to be her body guard. I wanted to be someone who could be there for her both as a number but also as an enforcer, anybody who ever dared to do anything to Jodi would’ve had to have dealt with me. Tonight, Amy and Colin have immunity, and either amy or josh or elle have an idol, so there’s no point in making any noise tonight and wasting Jared’s idol. None of those 4 trust me, and I doubt any of them like me. It is what it is, it’s best for Jodi, Jared, and Anastasia’s game to move forward without me, and it’s smart for Jared to keep his idol. Tonight, I will be voted out, and I am 100% at peace with it. 
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Since Elle, Josh, Amy and Colin pooled their tokens for immunity and advantage refresh, it means all the advantages and disadvantages are on our side. Plan is to send Elle a disadvantage and let Colin know because honestly it’s not hard to find out anyways. Jay doesn’t mind getting booted at some point cuz he wants to stand for me on the jury, but I don’t want to boot him right now. Obviously they won’t boot Elle, so I’m going to see if Jared will propose Anastasia. The thing right now is me/Jay/Anastasia/Jared also know next round is invisible. So I want Jay or Anastasia to send Colin and Amy disadvantages because if they’re paranoid seeing me Jared/Jay/Anastasia have advantages and they have disadvantages, they might be paranoid enough to play all their idols. I also wanted to keep Jay for this round as it’d be unanimous and something everyone can settle on. Jared wanted to do me/Jared/Josh/Amy/Colin as an alliance but has concerns about the 3 of them being in top 5 in the majority snd also Colin having his ideal f3. I told him my plan has the best shot at flushing all idols and hopefully we can either get Josh to flip or at least have Amy/Colin vulnerable at 5/6. Last thing is Jared is worried he’d be blindsided this round. I told him my plan and I said even if he wanted to flush his idol this round, next round should be ok if we all vote out Jay and the rest of them flush idols. Good to be back in the game! I genuinely believe Colin wants me as a shield at least for this round, and if I can make it through, I have a game to play. 
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Not everyone saying they only bought an advantage lol what about those other 70 tokens 👀👀👀 Like it must be jay unless someone is lying haha i am hoping people are just busy bc these answers I'm getting from Josh and Colin are concerning 😂 It looks like only elle and got disadvantages ☠️ I am really hoping not to be a target next round even though I know I will be haha. Next round is only 7 and I'd love to take out jodi and jared before they turn on me ☠️ especially since colin creeped on jodi's insta and it is possible they know each other from sports irl. And she was so concerned about all these pregame connections 😂 and here it was likely to deflect. Anyway I just swapped my position of having jodi do all the social work with having colin do all the social work knowing full well I'm not gonna get those end votes. I'm just trying to pull up my placement average now 😂. I hope everyone sees me as having no social game to take me to the end lol bc realistically I don't bc I don't care to put in that time this game. As I write from the pirates of the caribbean line 😂 So anyway if I'm not being lied to which I might be it looks like unanimous jay tonight but also I think the other group was talking split on jay like a 3-3-2 and I'm like wait the 2 wouldn't help. Elle are you okay with that? So I think they must have figured out I have stuff ☠️ I wonder what people REALLY bought haha okay bye
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Jodi is back, not just Jodi Jodi, but player Jodi. Player Jodi thinks a LOT. When I was out, the entire time I was hoping somebody caught on that Amy flipped because they knew to put a stray vote on Colin to protect him from chaos idol, but they left Josh exposed. Why? Because Colin knew Amy was going to throw a vote on Josh. Also, Colin tied with me for closest ally and that set off an alarm too. Onto the next. So Colin won immunity, Amy bought immunity, but this could possibly be good because it means they are playing knowing they are not at risk themselves. Anastasia is voting with them this round, but she's actually working with us. She told us that the actual plan on that side is: "Jay, Jared, Jodi vote elle and Elle, Amy, Colin vote Jay and Josh and Anastasia vote Jodi" Anastasia will vote me here to continue "working" with them for the next vote. Essentially, they thought that Jay had the merge idol this whole time and Colin was weary about it, and that's why he got nervous about sending out Jay last round. That told me Colin did not have the merge idol. Josh came to me too about Jay having the merge idol. But the way they're splitting the votes this round shows me now that somebody has stepped forward to mention they have it (likely Elle) because if Jay idoled, Elle goes in this split vote plan. Therefore, somebody must've been like "ok let's just be safe and split the votes, I have the other idol". That's good and bad because now Colin has no merge idol paranoia, and they're also able to use it together. It also did confirm to me they've talked about it. Here's where things get tricky. Player Jodi is so tempted to run with it and do a 4-3-1 Josh-Jay-Jodi but it's so risky and could possibly destroy the long term social game, especially if they idol for Josh and Jay goes anyway (we are not idoling for him here). So instead, I'm going to use Jay's vote out to the best of my advantage. Hopefully flush an idol if possible, maybe a steal-a-vote, something. Knowing about next round being invisible is good info for us. Having this info is so key and usually I would think that immunity for a round is bigger than this but being able to plan ahead for a GAME-CHANGING twist is crucial here. My move here is to play the game through psychological distress. I have no advantages! Since they're out of tokens from buying immunity, me/Anastasia/Jared/Jay bought advantages for ourselves and also sent out disadvantages to Colin/Amy/Elle. Seeing that not only we have advantages but also them having disadvantages, they probably still feel like things will be ok because they'll just split votes or whatever and one of them needs to win immunity. But given this is an invisible round, I think Amy is honestly paranoid enough to just play her idol, hopefully Elle does too, and then between me and Jared, we'll idol for one of us. I also plan on bluffing an advantage coming back from Jury, and say something along the lines of having to survive one round before the advantage got activated. I'm going for the win, everyone, I know that if I get to the end with anybody, I have a solid shot at winning. I just need to get there and to do that, I must play an adaptable game – more than ever. PS I am holding onto Jared's idol right now. Power (temporary) feels amazing. Dw I'm giving it back....😈
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this has been the most chill round in a while. which is really weird consider JODI IS BACK AND WE BLINDSIDED BRAYDEN LAST ROUND this round is turning out to be what I WANTED last round to be. everyone is talking with everyone, people are trying to disband the sides and all intermingle. it's really interesting how no one else was on board with this until after they lost majority. seems like people don't like playing from the bottom. weird huh now these bitches know how I felt >:( anyway. jodi is back. it's weird. she knows that amy flipped now and everyone is playing very carefully my ideal boot this round was either jay or josh, in that order. so when my gay ass WON IMMUNITY I immediately put out jay's name. we already have the numbers, but I also like said my piece to jodi and jared, this is yalls chance to prove to me that you're really with me and sides don't exist. the ball is in their court do i trust them? no. am I worried? no. i have immunity, the scariest thing rn is that I think Jay is voting Elle, and if Jared and Jodi are with him then that's scary, bc Jared has an idol. The ONLY people I would play my idol for is Amy and Elle, and Elle being in trouble means I might have to play my idol on her if Jay idols himself. We have enough to split, so I'm not worried, I just hope all goes according to plan. sorry my confessional is lame. its the weekend now so i have time uwu. I'll write more the next few days
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So this whole token twist thing has really annoyed me. Because of me wanting to show my loyalty to my alliance, i gave away all my coins to Amy so that she could but immunity. And against my wishes, Elle wasted her coins on the “advantage” which turned out to be a dud. I wanted to get coins together to buy game info or better yet, trade coins with other people. But i was left with nothing, while all the people on the other side used their coins to buy advantages in the next immunity challenge making it even harder for me to secure my safety. Maybe this new 2 Gays and a Jared alliance might actually pan out but im tired of getting the short end of the stick with everything.
~~~
Edgic:
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Power Rankings:
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Anastasia: She is in the middle of the two sides. They both need her for the rest of this game before a side is terminated. She is the most powerful because she is in the middle.
Jodi: Has regained a lot of her footing in this game. Is being used as a shield by the people who voted her out. The decision to vote out Jay is questionable, but she still has a lot of power thanks to the knowledge Anastasia and Jared feed her.
Colin: The head of the opposing side. Seems to not know what is really going on with Anastasia. But his allies are willing to take him to the end which is good. Needs to avoid falling into a Jodi pitfall.
Amy: Her rat behavior has been exposed, but her allies are still willing to defend her. Second in command on the Colin side. She is being handed these immunities.
Jared: Jodi’s new #1. Will probably make it to the end of this game. However, he isn’t calling the shots and is in danger of being targeted as an “easy” vote or being called a goat at the end. Needs to start taking fate in his own hands.
Elle: Lost a lot of footing because of not telling Anastasia the truth. This move caused Anastasia to go back to Jodi’s side which will hurt in the coming round. Is the next target for the Jodi side.
Jay: Died on the sword for Jodi. I am confused why they didn’t just stack 4 votes somewhere else, but it is whatever. Has basically given up.
Josh: Left out of a lot of discussions. Is on the outside of his alliances and from the opposing side. Is the most in danger of getting targeted or being a casualty of an idol.
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idealisticrealism · 6 years
Text
Blindspot 3x02 recap
Aka the one where the team has to get their groove back
Ah, man. I always intend to do these straight after the ep but then damn life always gets in the way and now suddenly somehow it’s about 12 hours until the new episode airs… let’s see how quickly I can smash through this one then, huh? (Answer: not very quickly lol)
As usual, many thoughts to be found beneath the cut.
Look I’m not really a fan of hunters or white men who are overly attached to their weapons, but murdering a couple of dudes just because they stumbled upon your shady militant business seems a lil bit rough tbh
Ugh Weller is cooking for his lady he’s such a cutie pie and ugh Jane slept so deeply, when was the last time she slept well?? But ugh they’re really settling back into being around each other and HE COMPLIMENTS HER HAIR and tbh I like it best when it’s the classic ‘Jane Doe’ short look but this is super cute (and better than the wavy hair from last ep). And wow I feel like we’re burning through a lot of topics in this brief scene bc now they’re talking about how Jane disappearing pretty much bankrupted Weller (man, that’d have to add some guilt to the pile), and then it comes up that Jane is now vegan and tbh I have a slight problem with this new fact. Like okay being vegan is fine, but firstly they already had at least dinner together the night before, so this kinda should have already come up, right? And secondly I kinda feel like her being vegan now is just a somewhat clumsy way of the writers showing how these two have both ‘changed’ and ‘don’t really know each other like they used to’. I honestly expected her to be joking, and for that little joke to actually demonstrate that while they’re not exactly the same as they were, they also haven’t radically changed. But nevermind, I guess. It provided the necessary setup for Weller’s question about any other surprises-- following which Jane says nothing about the passports and cash she’d hidden-- which is what the writers really wanted to get out of this scene anyway.
Poor Stuart, Patterson really does not like sharing her lab. But technically he’s right, it is his lab too. And omg he and Zapata giving Patterson shit about her app is priceless. I think it might have been unintentional on his part but Zapata sure ran with it and I am loving her sly grin rn lol. But aw Patterson why you gotta growl at lil puppy Stuart so much?? He doesn’t have the tattoo solving experience you have, and plus, I seem to remember you obsessing over certain specific tattoos and getting distracted from the rest… though maybe the David experience put a stop to that, I guess, and you subconsciously don’t want Stuart to head down that same path. And then lol Weller strides in and tells Patterson he wants to solve one specific tattoo today and ooooh she is pissed, whereas Zapata’s having more fun rn than she did in her entire year at the CIA. I knew you missed this, girl. And then Weller says he solved part of the tatt and she’s immediately like ‘excuse me? By yourself?’ and looks doubtful (and also possibly concerned? It’s not something dodgy is it??). But omg “I’m not just a handsome face, Tasha” hahahaha. And yeah yeah we know about Roman and Berlin, though it’s news that there’s a specific sequence to these tattoos and that Roman is supposedly trying to help save the world. And now the team is crackin’ and ugh Patterson to Stuart “What a math whiz you are” and on one hand it’s funny but on the other c’mon mate, go easy on him. He’s barely more than a baby. Anyway ten she pulls some wizardy stuff with the tattoo and they figure out that it marks a spot up near the finger lakes. But then Jane realises that it may connect with the pre-existing tattoo in the same spot-- the left breast, apparently, thanks Stuart (next time answer a little slower, buddy) and omg she gives him this tiny, amused (but not mocking) smile as she repeats ‘left chest area’ and ugh I’m so glad to see someone being sweet to Stuart.
So the team updates Reade on the sitch, which feels a lil weird, and he’s hesitant to let them rush out and blindly follow the tattoos like Weller wants to, bc he’s worried about them being manipulated again, and oooh Weller gets all grumpy about it. Boys, boys, play nice. Jane gently convinces Reade into it, while Weller continues to grump. Dude, I don’t particularly think Reade should be in charge, but the fact of the matter is that he IS in charge, so you should be watching your tone. It doesn’t matter that you have inside info that this is a time-sensitive situation, that is still not a respectful way to address a superior officer. And then lol they go out and search for hours until Reade tries to make them go home “I don’t wanna just quit”/“it’s not quitting if it’s an order”. Lol poor guy, it’s like dealing with a bunch of headstrong kids some of the time. And then suddenly a satellite literally crash-lands right near them, and is pretty much immediately descended on by a bunch of military-esque guys. Notice that Weller is calling the shots again? Old habits die hard, I guess. Poor Reade….  
Stuart is still obsessed with that same tattoo and PAtterson is still annoyed by it. Reade and Weller walk in with a chorus of ‘so what have you got?’ and again, Weller, time to back down, buddy. This ain’t your team anymore. Lol “we’re not following hunches”/“We just followed Weller’s hunch…” ugh poor beleaguered Stuart. He just can’t catch a break. And sigh, looks like Rich won’t be helping out this ep. Bummer. Ooooohhh but Reade gives the orders and then calls Weller into his office, who definitely has an odd look on his face as he looks at their reversed positions either side of the desk. And omg Reade brings up the tattoo and Weller’s all ‘oh yeah I was right about that’.  Uh excuse me??? I’m not even on this team and even I don’t like your tone one bit, you insolent little preteen! Come on, Weller, this level of juvenile pettiness should be below you. After all, Reade is raising a very valid question about how it was that he just happened to solve the tattoo on the very day that the satellite fell-- which means he’s onto you, buddy. I’d be treading with a little more care and a little less jerkishness, if I were you….
Oh hi Sydney! Oh man when was this filmed??? I stg if they were there when I was there in September…. But oooh damn Roman is getting into some deep stuff here at this support group. Oh hey! I know that guy, he was in an ep of Timeless. And I think possibly in some Aussie ad? Idk. And yep, I don’t care if it’s my native accent, hearing it in an American show is always freakin weird. At least he’s a legit Aussie and not putting on a terrible fake accent haha. And ok I know he’s not but it kind of feels like he’s almost hitting on Roman haha? But in actuality I’m pretty sure Roman has orchestrated this whole thing. Also this dude lives in The Rocks??? He must be loaded, wow. And lol, it’s never too early for a beer in Australia, unless of course you’re me, in which case ‘never’ is too early for a beer haha.
Oooh boy, Stuart, it’s probably not a good idea to literally take the words out of Patterson’s mouth. She really does love briefing the team and showing how smart she is, which in this case involves her having figured out who the satellite belonged to. The representatives of ProtechSat arrive, though are greatly confused since they’re not missing a satellite-- at least, until they see the one in the lab. “Oh, this is for sure ours” hahaha. And then they proceed to have very restrained freakouts and make multiple phone calls as they realise exactly which satellite it was and what it did, while the team gets more and more impatient waiting for answers “getting a little suspicious here guys”/”lotta red flags” hahaha I love the sass in this team. And then lolll the whole ‘We’re from the DOD” exchange and the explaining of the acronyms is priceless. Turns out, though, that the US has a missile shield thingy via a network of satellites, and now with the black box from the crashed one, someone could technically turn it off. Lol at Tasha’s “great, now I have to make a phone call” haha. And Stuart suddenly gets the company name and damn I love this show’s subtle humour. Uh oh, apparently North Korea is priming their missiles, which means possible nuclear war. Geez, high stakes or what. Oh hold up, as long as a single satellite in the network stays functional, the shield stays in place. Who wants to bet that they stop the bad guys just as it counts down to one or two satellites left?? And then lol “stuart’s got something” “Really??” damn Patterson, be nice lol
Stuart has discovered the situation with the hunters, which leads them to a trail cam that shows the ringleader’s face-- and Jane knows him. She worked with him doing K&R, and knows several of his aliases. Reade is immediately thinking of the ramifications of her previous work, but Zapata and Patterson both immediately jump to her defense. Aw, my girls! And then Weller’s all grumpy again over this discovery and tbh I don’t understand why?? As far as I recall, he didn’t ever directly ask her what she’d been doing while she was gone, and rescuing kidnapping victims certainly doesn’t seem like a bad thing?? Like, so what if she worked with some questionable people for the greater good? Geez, Weller, you’re more hormonal in a single day than many girls are throughout their entire teenage years. Chill out, son.  
Back in the motherland, these rather similar looking dudes are bonding over more beers, and ugh Roman is telling him the truth about Shepherd and Jane. “Half the time I want my sister back, half the time I want to kill her”--- who wants to bet that that’s going to be a running theme of the season lol? And then haha “you’re next beer’s going to be a water” uh mate he’s American, the beer he’s used to practically IS water loll
Jane finds Weller in the locker room to apologise, which imo isn’t warranted, but whatever. And he says that she ‘did what she had to do’ and I LOVE that she corrects him and tells him that she did it bc she WANTED to? That’s right, girl, don’t let him alter your narrative to fit his views. And then he judges her about people she may or may not have killed/let die and dude. Duuuude. You’re being an assssss. Good thing Patterson has found some info on their bad guy. Sidenote, but I think the writers managed to slip in a subtle dig about gun control in there and I’m super impressed? Anyhow Patterson shows them the guy’s safehouses she found, which Jane is immediately able to narrow down to one based on her skills and her personal knowledge of the guy. Nice work, honey! And then they bust in there and oooh “this is for Paris”-- ok I need that backstory right now, please and thank you. We see some Korean guys in a car who have apparently already discovered that their contact is blown, but they apparently have an ace up their sleeve. Uh oh….
Oooh Zapata is ranting to Patterson about ‘Assistant Director Reade’ and man it’s weird hearing her use his title. Patterson tries to highlight things from his perspective (with another lil jab from Tasha about her app making it in there haha) and then tells her she might just need to figure out a new balance, likening it to her own ‘friends who hate each other’ thing with Stuart, and Zapata’s all ‘yeah no he definitely doesn’t know that that’s what you are’ and Patterson suddenly feels all bad. As you should, honey, coz you’ve been kinda mean to him this whole time. But aww she says she’ll be better and fix things and ugh I love seeing my babies listen to each other and work to improve themselves. Of course all her good intentions do kind of go out the window when she discovers that Stuart is back to using their processing power on his pet tattoo, and advances on him so suddenly that he literally knocks stuff off his desk in his haste to back away. Ugh the poor kid is terrified of her, despite being practically twice her height haha. She does make a good point that the nukes are all still live and the threat is far from neutralised, though. And lol she refers to the hacker as a he and the ProtechSat guy pipes up in the background “Or she!” and Patterson is all, “Exactly, women can be hackers too, Stuart!” and omg I shouldn’t laugh but the poor guy is so flustered rn and totally scared of her, and Zapata is in the background with her face in her hand hahahaha.
Oooh Reade comes in and diffuses the situation by being completely oblivious to it haha, just as he misses the sass Tasha directs his way. Then he goes in to interrogate the dude they caught and lol when he suggests he’s the hacker the dude is all “Do I look like a nerd?” Ouch man, didn’t you know anyone can be a hacker? Lol. And then “is that the good Korea, or the bad one?” okay I kinda like this guy haha, can we see more of him? Weller is definitely less impressed, taking the opportunity to shame Jane a little more for her past career choices, and dude you better get down off of that high horse before you FALL off of it. You’re hardly one with any right to be throwing stones here. But at she stands her ground, and he backs off a little. You go, Jane.
Oooh Reade is getting a pep talk from Hirst; she thinks he’s overcompensating now that the team is back. Well, that’s probably true. But on the other hand, certain members of his team (*cough* Weller *cough*) are also being prigs. Speaking of people who are being butts today, the bad dude (who is a butt) gets a visit from Jane (who has a nice butt) and there’s lots of sass being thrown around-- “I liked you better when you were unaffiliated” “Funny, I never liked you at all” hahaha yaaaassss my queeeeennnn. Oooh but hold on, he knew about her bounty? And didn’t act on it, due to a mysterious person called Clem telling him not to touch her. Wow, Clem must be powerful. They’re probably a dude, too, but just saying I have an Aunty Clem and though she’s a 5ft nutritionist with a pixie cut and giant glasses, I could totally see her as a mastermind/commander figure haha. I guess they already did the ‘Surprise! This character you’ve been hearing about is actually a woman!’ reveal with Shepherd tho. But anyhow based on Jane’s chat with her old work buddy, there may be a leak in the team-- and of course the first suspect is the ProtechSat guy who happens to be a POC. Original. It’s only when he has an alibi--- sidenote, why was he at the hospital overnight I really wanna know-- that anyone even remembers that oh yeah, he has a colleague who has also been there the whole time, and who they now know had the means to frame him. But I mean she’s a pretty white lady, so who could blame them for not suspecting her til now? (#me #Icould) Aaand now the innocent lil white lady just killed two poor dudes and is about to give the baddies the means to nuke the whole country. Good work, team.
Back by the bay, the beardy boys are bonding beautifully. Poor Aussie dude just really wants to make sure Roman isn’t a risk to himself-- but he doesn’t realise that he’s the one at risk. Roman deliberately targeted him, drugged him and is about to kill him. And ughhh the poor guy is all ‘I don’t wanna die’ and Roman seems to almost regret that he has to do it bc he seems to genuinely like him and duuuude just don’t do it! Don’t kill him! Be a better person!
The ProtechSat guy helped them figure out where the hacker chick is, which I’m super satisfied by bc the guy that they wrongly accused has now just helped save their asses. And Jeller are racing there, and Jane tells Weller she loves him, but it’s with a look of almost trepidation on her face, like when a dog thinks you’re mad at them so they’ll come up and lick your hand and try to be extra cute and lovable. At least Weller immediately says it back, then reassures her that he’s not mad at her, but at Roman for orchestrating all this, and tells her that they can’t let him drive them apart. Mmmm-hmmmm, this is the time when you mention that you ALSO have something to confess, boy! But nope, looks like we’re not free of the hypocrisy yet. Anyhow the team dashes into the building (awkwardly hiding their guns from all the kiddies), guided by Patterson to the planetarium where they find a dead Marcy. Also the voiceover narrating about asteroids and meteorites sounds very much like it’s an analogy for this show’s characters… meanwhile the team is suddenly being shot at, a (male or female, thanks guys) hacker is shutting down all the satellites, Patterson is yelling… it’s just like old times. And finally the team functions like old times, and Reade and Tasha manage to cover Jeller long enough for them to go and take out the hacker and his guards in a kickass lil showdown-- leaving them with two satellites playing Atlas and holding the whole thing together. Lol at Reade losing his comms and being like ‘So did we win or did we get nuked?’ haha. And then awwww the team’s all gathered back at the lab and Reade is giving a lil speech and I’m so proud of them. Also no drinking in the lab is a new rule-- I feel like this was somehow put in place because of Rich haha.
Aw, damn, Roman really killed him. Well, that sucks. But he needed his identity or whatever, so fine. But omg it’s hilarious watching Luke pretend to ‘learn’ how to speak with his own native accent haha. Also when are they going to explain the absence of the scar???
Oh boy. Weller is cooking tofu sticks, which is not going at all well, but it’s a sweet gesture. And yet again I kind of expect Jane to say she was joking about the whole vegan thing, idk why lol. But ugh he’s all ‘I’m trying so hard’ and I really do feel bad for him rn. He’s scared that bc there’s so much about her now that he wasn’t part of, that it will mean he’ll never really have her back or something. But um dude, literally everyone else in the world is with someone who has years of experiences that don’t include them?? Like with her memory wipe, her entire existence is pretty much only like 4 years long at this point, and she was with you for 2 and a half of those. Most people are with someone who lived twenty or more years before knowing them. So I suggest you reassess a bit here, buddy. But then again I know you’re only scared of losing her again, which is probably a fear you’ll carry forever (which as we know, is a situation I am displeased with the writers about). But ugh Jane basically suggests going out on a date which is cute, and Weller’s all ‘no go we’re broke’, and she’s all ‘well actually’ and shows him her giant stash’o’cash. And it’s one of those bittersweet moments bc yes she kept it from him but she was keeping it for an emergency, and had likely planned to tell him once she had realised how dire things had gotten financially. Thankfully Weller decides to focus on the positive, and well, they don’t make it to that date….
Awww Tasha shows up at Reade’s apartment and there’s sass and it’s cute and he apologises and then she’s all oooohhh you’re on a date?? But NO OMG he has a GIRLFRIEND and she looks VERY FAMILIAR and ooooohhhhhhhhhh boyyyyyyyy this is gonna get awkwardddddddddddd  
Meanwhile Patterson is repeatedly calling Stuart to try to apologise and explain her recent behaviour which I really approve of and appreciate, and ugh she tells him he’s good at his job and ugh she’s actually gone to his apartment to see him but oh shit the door is busted in and please tell me he just went back to the lab to work late please please please oh shit oh nooooooooooooooo. Stuarttttttttttttt!! Oh my baby this is so unfair, you deserved so much better….  (Also poor Patterson ugh)
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Ugh I did the thing again where I was busy all week and forgot to post on here. So here’s a lightning fast recap of my workouts from the past week, if you care at all. I actually think I worked out (ish, except Friday kinda) every day which is a first in a while. Bless.
Tues Mar 21 Abs and shopping. I went home after work to get my car so that I could drive to trainings the next two days, but went out to Target as soon as I got home, cause duh. Stupid idea to try on like real clothes tho, my self-conscious ass was like ohhhhh no way you need to tighten up those saddle bags and that back fat before you get any of this. So. I got a crop sweatshirt and athletic leggings, felt bad about myself but hadn’t had dinner, so I went to Wawa. Woof.
3x each 15 reps straight leg raises 15 reps roll ups leaning camel x 45s bird dogs x 45s 60 reps heal touches plank 35s, 40s, 45s 10 reps assisted push up 40 reps russian twists 8# alternating superman 1 min 15 reps single leg pulses
Wed Mar 22 Run on the trail after this horrific training class in which I was literally the only student for an all day session. And I had to go back the next day 😩 went to Marshall’s before my run to see if I could find any cold weather gear bc I only had my sweatshirt, gloves, wool earwarmers, and thin leggings. Didn’t find any of that, but got those AMAZING NEON PINK LEGGINGS IN THAT ONE PICTURE and some other ones too. You know me, can’t stay away from that athleisure ish.
It was hella freezing and took me so long to warm up once I started on the trail. Fortunately it was so picturesque and my music was bangin so. I survived.
2.78 mi 9'55" min / mi
Thurs Mar 23 6 x 200m sprints on the trail. Bless up, convinced my instructor to finish early bc tbh he was not really all that helpful once I started following the book that was included, so I went to the mall and got some more athleisure (deh), cheap sunglasses, athletic ear warmers for $.50 each, a VERY cute lightweight rain jacket, and (!!!!!) these black leather slip-on sneakers I’ve been looking for for like 6 months. I just caved and got the name brand ones but stILl omg I’m so excited about them I finally found them.
Started the sprints in the cotton leggins I was wearing, then after like maybe 9 or 10 strides I was like oh FUCk no they suddenly lost all their elasticity and I was having to pull them up for my life. So after completely embarrassing myself hoisting those mothereffers up for my first sprint, I jumped in the car and changed into spandex pants, then zoomed back to the trail start and actually did my workout. Good thing my house is only 8 minutes away from that part of the trail.
I think I may have mis-read what my Nike app was telling me to do, but I’m pretty sure it said to do 6 x 200m sprints with 4:45 min in between. So that’s essentially what I did, I sprinted for the 200m and ran / jogged in between. Although the app only recorded the distance for the sprints, I wanna say I did a little more than the day before, since I went further on the trail. I hate that you can’t go back and check what it told you to do; you only see how you actually ran according to the app. Lame af. Though I was proud, I increased my sprint speed at almost every length except the 3rd.
0.77mi 6'59" min / mi (lol can’t believe I actually ran a mile faster than that at one point in my life holy shit)
Fri Mar 24 No real workout here, since I had to leave work early to take the train back to le Nova for Palooza. I scarfed down a Snap pizza (the classic spot) right before the show, and somehow stayed away from the dangers of late night college food. Though I did get all my steps in my showing one of our friends’ home friend around campus, and apparently that little tour counted for a nice brisk walk. Obvi the Snovas killed it, as a great opener for what my friends and I dubbed AcaWeekend. Saturday they’d be competing at ICCA regional semifinals #pitchperfect for the first time ever, which was so exciting. Palooza the day before was just their warmup, but fortunately we got to see two new songs from them. It kinda sucked for them though bc they went first out of the seven groups and the sound guys always need a few groups to warm up before they actually refine the balance, and they just sounded muddled. Womp. Oh well. Everyone knows they’re/we’re the best anyway. Proud alum.
Sat Mar 25 Run in the morning before the day’s festivities. This was a quick workout before most of the humans who stayed in my apartment became humans, a brief mile ish to the waterfront and back. I realized I’d been wearing a blueish shirt and black leggings in literally all of my pics lately so I spiced it up with these fun stripey ones. Lol.
We adventured to brunch, where I had a yummy spinach and goat cheese salad with fig dressing, and wandered around the city for the afternoon before we had to head to semis. I splurged on Hunger Burger at RTM because I told myself that this was my indulgence for the weekend, and I wasn’t going to be drinking anymore for the next few months (it’s not like I do it that often anyway, I just want to try it to see how it helps my training/weight loss, if at all), so I got a specialty thin mint shake. Woops. Honestly, it was so worth it though, and I didn’t even end up eating most of the fries anyway, so it wasn’t the worst I could’ve done.
At semis, there were literally so many good groups and we were all like oh shit how are they going to stack up?? But Snovas SLAYED even better than they did last time and ENDED UP IN THIRD PLACE WHICH IS THE CRAZIEST BEST HONOR WE’VE EVER GOTTEN AND IT’S JUST SO COOL!!!!! A cappella is the shit, guys, I swear. I’m so proud of those kiddos, and they get to submit a wildcard video for a chance at Finals in NYC which is like legitimately insane. They’re somewhere in the top 18-27 groups in the country right now, and coming from a school where we legit don’t have music majors and a joke of a music activities staff / support, this coulD NOT be cooler. They murdered it. And so did all the other groups at semis, like damn. We weren’t even sure anything was gonna happen for them, but they clearly did some things right. Ugh so obvi we celebrated when we got back to Philly, going to a few bars and ending up at Frankford, where we got some amazing soft pretzels and other snacks. Best day ever.
1.26 mi 9'21" min / mi
1.32 mi 10'03" min / mi
Sun Mar 26 Long ish run and relaxing. Got up and was worried about the weather forecast for Monday because I was supposed to be doing my long run for next week then, and it was going to be torrentially downpouring all day, so I was hoping to switch my days because the weather was decent enough that I could’ve done it on Sunday. But then I updated my app and A, it changed my schedule for this week anyway, and B, I remember I could’ve moved it anyway if I wanted to. So instead I went and did that 5K Sunday challenge thing that it introduced. And I ran back from there, so it actually was closer to the 5 miles I had wanted to do anyway. So ya.
I felt a little subconscious in these leggings because, though they are a spectacularly bright and amazing color, they also show my cellulite on the back of my legs… but I thought, fuck it, people will see me, and if they give me a look, I’ll just push harder and show them that cellulite means nothing if you’re fast and capable and strong. So. I used it to empower me, I guess.
Spent the rest of the day relaxing and watching ICCA videos, still hyped up on the Snovas victory. Legit it’s still coming to me in waves, it’s actually incredible.
3.11 mi 9'41" min / mi
1.53 mi 9'44" min /mi
Mon Mar 27 Full body circuit and a benchmark run. Work is starting to bore me so much lol on Monday I think I may have done approximately 2 work related things all day, otherwise I was just distracted. I decided to do a NTC workout and then my benchmark, so I chose Body Flexor 2.0, which worked a lot of different areas and was pretty fun. Then I ran on the treadmill for my benchmark for the first time, which was weird knowing my exact speed at certain times and being able to force myself to a certain pace. If I have to do it that way again, next time I’ll just cover the numbers and just focus on how it feels to push hard. The picture up there is me literally dying because of how sweaty I was. Plus fun leggings from Marshall’s.
1.54 mi 9'49" min / mi
Tues Mar 28 Abs / some arms, plus 20 minutes on the elliptical. I was an idiot today, and not only forgot a hair tie after my shower, but I left my phone at home, which I realized too late in the elevator on the way to work. Nice. So I had to go without both all day, though Kelly let me borrow a hair tie so I could work out thank GoD cause I was looking at using a legit rubber band, which would’ve been awful. The moves I chose for abs today ended up also working my arms a lot, which was nice to combo them. Because I didn’t have my phone, I just kind of had to make up my elliptical workout, which was meh but whatever. Next time I’ll be prepared. That’s definitely not my favorite type of cardio anyway.
Tonight I made these AMAZING baked zucchini fries, I probably could’ve eaten like 90 million in one sitting they were so crunchy and good. My sweet potato fries didn’t turn out so good (I actually burned the shit out of them, but I’m going to attempt to eat them tomorrow for lunch anyway 🙃) but I’m happy I’m trying new things in the kitchen, even if it’s taking me like 3 hours each time lolol.
I’m down a few pounds from last week, though, which is kind of nice! A little affirmation after working hard every day.
3x each 15 reps dumbbell side bends alt. sides 8# 15 reps twisting core stabilizers alt. sides 8# 15 reps bow extensions alt. sides 8# 15 reps woodchops 8# 10 reps windmills 5# 40 reps russian twists 8# 30 s plank 7 reps full extension inch worms 15 reps in-&-outs
Wooooof I’m going to try to post more often now that I’m all caught up. Lol it may last for a day but you know. #Goals.
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imsarabum · 7 years
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Responses to Part 13 I Won’t Stop You (M) // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU asks~
 Please ‘Keep Reading’ to find my response to your ask ^^ As always, I have copied and pasted all asks into this post in regards to last night’s chapter to avoid clogging up people’s dashboards and to avoid spoilers for those who may still wish to read the chapter. Thank you ^^
ALSO I have included asks I received to do with IWSY in the hours leading up to before I posted it because there was quite a few! So if you sent in an ask to do with IWSY and I didn’t post it - it will be in this post!
Anonymous said: When ''i wont stop you '' come out i really am inpatient?XD P.S i love you! YOU ARE THE BEST  I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU i love you (now i told every thing whats on my mind!)(sorry my BAD English:(T.T  )
Awww I love you too babe! I’m so happy that you get really excited :3 I really hope you enjoyed the chapter :D And your English is great! Don’t apologise ><
Anonymous said: i've had an awful day today but i know you are going to cheer me up today!!! especially with where the last chapter ended ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I’m sorry to hear you had an awful day :( But I really hope the chapter cheered you up! Thank you so much for reading :3
Anonymous said: TUESDAY IS THE ONLY DAY I LOOK FORWARD TO BUT TODAY WE HAVE A SNOW DAY AND I CAN READ YOUR NEW CHAPTER IN PEACE !!! LOVE YOUR WORK :)))) HAVE A GOOD DAY 💕 
OMG YAY A SNOW DAY! I love playing in the snow c: I hope you’ll build lot’s of snowmen! I really hope you enjoyed the chapter love ^^ I hope you have a good day too!!
Anonymous said: It's 6:05 PM, i'm on my period, the cramps are driving me crazy, but I'm so excited that i will stay awake for IWSY bc it's the only series i like so much that i will drop everything to read it 😂❤ __loves the new anon (not really new anymore)
Owwww no :c Periods suck so bad...I will probably be getting mine in a bit because my back is starting to hurt as it always does :( I really hope you enjoyed reading the chapter dear! I hope it can ease your cramping pain a little >< heh, thank you so much my love!
Anonymous said: I'M SO EXCITED FOR IWSY!!!!🎉
I hope you enjoyed it! Yay!!
Anonymous said: So I live in China at the moment and I actually set my alarm for 5:30am just to wake up to the new chapter! Literally the only thing I look forward too during the week!
Ahh that’s so awesome that you live in China! I really want to visit so many places in China U_U And oh my god...I FEEL BAD BECAUSE YOU ARE MISSING OUT ON PRECIOUS SLEEP D: But I’m glad that you look forward to it >< Thank you so much and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!
@animeimmortal said I have an essay due tomorrow and i finished it early today just so i could wait for you to release the next part. i LovE THis FIc MoRE ThAn mY liFE   P.S. my friend would like to know where did you get the  idea for the fic from because the whole thing is bloody amazing
Oh my goodness haha well, I’m glad it was motivation for you to finish it early! You’ll do a good job on it ^^ Thank you so much and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! In regards to your friend’s question, I originally received as ask with a request for me to write Vampire smut. But, I had already been planning a Vampire series since the beginning of 2016. So I just added their request into my series to suit both things ^^
Anonymous said:  ITS LIKE 1:30AM HERE AND I HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW BUT I CANT WAIT FOR YOU TO UPLOAD IWSY JDJSNCND
OH MY GOD GO TO SLEEP I WILL FIGHT YOU ASDFGHJK BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE CHAPTER IF YOU MANAGED TO STAY AWAKE D: SERIOUSLY LOL GO TO SLEEP YOU CHEEKY LITTLE
Anonymous said: its time for jungkook to make me feely his willy, im ready -daisy
Daisy, you are KILLING me with this penis jokes. I can’t *dies laughing*
@cupofcammiemile said: I'm actually so hype for the next part of I Won't Stop You and I'm waiting for it as patiently as I possibly can but I'm like fidgeting and coworkers are actually asking me what's wrong 😂 I hope you have a good night!!❤
Ahhh your co-workers are concerned for your well-being! lol~ I hope you enjoyed last night’s chapter my dear ^^ Thank you so much for reading *hugs*
@wang-banana said: IM SO EXITED FOR THE NEXT PART OF I WONT STOP YOU IVE BEEN MAITING SO DILIGENTLY OMG 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
I know you meant ‘waiting so diligently’ but I literally SCREAMED AND CRIED BECAUSE I JUST HAD AN IMAGE OF JACKSON WITH A BANANA MATING VERY DILIGENTLY (BC OF YOUR USERNAME) AND I LITERALLY CAN’T BREATHE I’M A BAD PERSON OH MY GOD. Aside from that, I really hope you enjoyed the chapter babe c:
@mahirookumura said: I can literally hear a clock in my head 'cause I'm fcking EXCITED FOR IWSY!!!
I hope you enjoyed it my love c:
@coppertopging said: We're so close!!! My body is ready but i don't think my mind ever will be lol.
That just reminded me of ‘My mind’s telling no~ but my body’s tellin’ me yeeeees!” lol x) I hope you enjoyed the chapter sweetie ^^
Anonymous said: I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for what is to come in the next chapter of IWSY because I know that if I don't I will die of the feels
Ahhh I hope you enjoyed the chapter if you read it sweetie! I tried to make it as romantic and steamy as possible c:
Anonymous said: IM SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT PART OF IWSY HUYGTFR your smut is always amazing ive never been sO excited to sINN -Mishy
Hello Mishy! I really hope you enjoyed the smut in this chapter my love ^^ Thank you so much for loving my smut! haha c:
@voguekate said: Whaha i am refreshing it bc i waited for this with excitement for this day
I hope it lived up to your expectations lovely! ^.^ I’m so glad you were excited for it!
Anonymous said: Part 13 of I Won't Stop You was so perfect!!! I'm fangirling omg so hard lol. Thank you for writing this series!
Ahhh thank you so much >< I’m so glad you liked it and thought it was perfect! You’re welcome, and thank you for reading it!
@loverofotome said: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! AMAZING! I LOVE YOU NEVER STOP BEING INCREDIBLE! 😘
asdfghj I’m so glad you liked it :) I love you too sweetie! Thank you so much for reading it :3
Anonymous said: Okay I just arrived home after a 9 hour flight and the first thing I did was read the new chapter of "I Won't Stop You" and THANK YOU I'M IN LOVE AND SERIOUSLY YOU MAKE EACH AND EVERYONE OF MY TUESDAYS! Yeah, I think that's all I just wanted to say that I loved it. Can't wait for the next one ❤️❤️
Wow a 9 hour flight, you must be exhausted my love! Thank you for reading it and enjoying it. It really means a lot to me! I hope you get some rest after your flight. I can’t wait to post the next one! c:
@voguekate said: Omfg IWSY istg, this was so good omfg.... idk what to say
Thank you so much my love! (btw, I answered your other ask too~ I hope you could find it within this post!
Anonymous said: Bruh.. BRuh.. BRUh.... BRUHHHH..... i loved the chapter!!!! And I did not expect them confessing
Yes! Jungkook just feels the emotion so intensely that he knows he loves her with all his soul. Conversely, the reader is just so besotted by him and the fact he is the first person for her to ‘give herself to’ (for want of better words) as well. Thank you for reading the chapter my love! ^^
@doubletroublesince1994 said: OH. MY. LORD.  THIS WAS PERFECT AND EXACTLY HOW I IMAGINE MY FIRST TIME. YOU JUST PUT MY FANTASIES INTO THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WORK OF ART. I LOVE YOU.
AHHH I’M SO GLAD I COULD DO THAT FOR YOU! To be honest, I really wish my first time could have been like this ahhh >< So I just write about how I wish it could have went! It’s pretty ideal, right? c: lol I love you more chick! I’m so happy that you liked it, and thank you so much for reading *hugs*
@animeimmortal said: First of all: I AM DEAD BRING ME BACK TO LIFE FOR THE NEXT PART second of all: I SAW THE TITLE BEING MENTIONED I SAW IT!!!! third of all: Beautiful ❤
*gets defibrillator* IT’S OKAY I GOT YOU. But...maybe next week...it will have the same effect? Possibly...hopefully...stronger? *winks* HEHE. AND YAY YOU PICKED UP ON THE TITLE THANK YOU :) lol thank you so much for reading my love (btw, I answered your other ask in this post too so I hope you didn’t have too much trouble finding it babe!)
@audreymv said: YES I LOVE THIS NEW CHAPTER SO MUCH. LIKE ME LEIKEY ALOT. You really are great at writing and let me tell you you did not disappoint. I love it so much
AHH THANK YOU SO MUCH! You are always filled with wonderful compliments for me and it makes me grin so much :) And! I hope you will like next weeks chapter, too ;) muhaha.
Anonymous said: OK I WAS SO PUMPED FOR THE VAMPIRE JUNGKOOK FIC AND THANK YOU SO MUCH IM LITERALLY DYING INSIDE 😭😭😭💕💕💕💕
I’m really happy you liked it my dear ^^ Thank you for reading it! :3
Anonymous said: Chapter 13 has got me GONE! I never read a fan fiction with such amazing vocabulary and grammar, I applaud you 👏💕
Ahhh sometimes there will be little grammar mistakes but I always try my best to proof-read everything! Just silly little, natural mistakes lol damn colloquialisms! Thank you so much for reading my love :)
@im-so-scared-aaaa said: Truthfully, I've never read something as beautifully writed as iwsy 🙉 I love you and your writing, keep going !  (Excuse my english, I'm french 🙊)  Good night
Thank you so much my darling! Merci beaucoup mon chérie! (sorry for my French, I was never very good at it in school :c) hehe~ And your English is great so don’t worry at all! ^.^
@deangetoutofmyspleen said: SARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA PART 13 IM DEAD AF WOWOWOWOWOWOW (side note, i read all twelve parts last week at like 4am so i've been WAITING FOR THIS) YOU NEVER CEASE TO AMAZE IM SCREECHING. MY FACE IS SO RED AND IM IN PUBLIC ASDFGJKGKGKTKGNGMHMMHKYK
YOU READ IT IN PUBLIC OH MY GOODNESS ASDFGHJK I’m so happy you enjoyed it c: And there’s more where that came from! :3 Thank you for reading it babe ^^ it means so much to me!
@mahirookumura said: THERE IT GOES ”I – I WON'T STOP YOU, PLEASE…”
Very cleverly spotted my love c:
Anonymous said: Ahh~ The new chapter of I Won't Stop You was just perfect... The wait was so worth it~ Gentle Jungkook was so sweet... Though I do hope the rough side comes out for a while hehehe. Anyways, the ending was really really cute and I'll happily await for the new chapter next Tuesday~ Can't wait to see the story's progress~ As always, stay healthy, don't stress and keep up the hard work!!
He was very gentle indeed! And don’t worry...perhaps, you will get to see his rough side next week? ;o Hmm?! ^^ Thank you so much for reading lovely. I will try to! I hope you have a brilliant week and do your best too! ^^
@cottonxiu said: Today I was learning for 7hours straight bcs I'm having an exam tomorrow and I'm pretty dead rn XD BUT I knew you were posting a new Ch. so when I read it.. It saved my day. Thanks ❤ And oh my lord a chapter full of his ringle dingle 😏 Bless you XD
Oh my god make sure to take a rest! 7 hours is a long time, I don’t want you getting sick or becoming over-tired! :( A chapter full of ringle dingle...I am dying at everyone’s penis jokes ya’ll are too much but it makes me laugh so much LORD lol Thank you so much for reading and I hope you will enjoy the next one too ^^
Anonymous said: NVH FHDUHDCN EANHV THEY SAID I LUV U NO OMG HOW COULD U DO THIS TO MY HEART CHAPTER THIRTEEN OF IWSY WAS SO 👌🏼 AND THE SMUT WAS LIKE DAMN (☝︎ ՞ਊ ՞)☝︎ ( ͡ ° ͜ ʖ ͡°)
Love is in the aiiiiirrrr~ heh~ Thank you so much for reading my love! I hope you will enjoy the next chapter too ;)
Anonymous said: OMG 'I won't stop you' just keeps getting better and better honestly I knew this was going to be good because I've read some of your other scenarios but Oh My Lord it's amazing, how many more chapters are you thinking of doing or is it just as many as it takes? ❤️
I’m so happy you think it keeps getting better and better c: I can’t wait for the plot to unfold more and see what you all think of it! Thank you so much babe :) And I’m honestly not sure how many chapters there will be, so I think - as you said, it will just be as many as it will take ^^ :D
Anonymous said: The day was shitty but we have DA SMUT. My day is still shitty, but bearable now thank you - wedding anon
I’m so sorry that you had a shitty day *hugs* you can always talk to me about it! What kind of wife would I be if I didn’t console my partner in their time of need? ^^ Heh~ Thank you for reading it babe ^^
Anonymous said: Why do I get the felling y/n is a vampire, or part vampire or something not human? 🤔 I kinda feel sorry for mugsy, the poor cat probably heard the whole ordeal go down in jungkook room! 😏😂anyhow, keep up the amazing work, Wednesday mornings are now my fav, waking up to a new update!  - (new anon) 53669 💗
Ooooh you’ll just have to wait to find out! But I loved reading your analogy on it :3 It’s always so interesting for me to find out what people think is going to happen! And ikr...hopefully Mugsy was fast asleep and didn’t hear a thing...(lol). Thank you so much for reading new anon 53669! heh ^^
@from502to859 said: OH MY GOD, you really outdid yourself with the latest chapter of IWSY, it was absolutely worth the wait!!! That was... top-shelf smut!
Ahhh thank you so much my dear! Top-shelf smut wow ^^ That’s an achievement for me indeed hehe :) I hope you will think that next week’s is the same! ^^ Thank you for your wonderful compliment and for reading as well :3
Anonymous said: Okay so I usually don't read smut because I'm tryna stay innocent LOL but I really love your plot line and I skipped through most of this chapter bc yknow.. smut but I know it was well written of course BUT OMG HE SAID HE LOVES HER I'M CRYING
OOOOOH be careful! Because, in amongst that smut was some very important details about Vampire life~ You might feel a little lost or confused later on in the story if you missed those bits! But I’m glad you enjoyed it nonetheless despite not being a fan of smut ^^ Thank you my love!
Anonymous said: IT WAS SO GOOD FAM!! OH MY SWEEEEEET LORDIIIIIEEEE JEBUS!! IT WAS SO GOOD
Weeee thank you so much babe! I’m so happy you liked it c:
Anonymous said: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I feel so bias wrecked right now! I'm always and will be loyal to V but that new chapter was just a guilty pleasure for me......
Uh oh, don’t tell Taehyung! lol don’t worry, I’ll keep your secret :3 Thank you so much for reading my love!
Anonymous said: brb have to go to church after that smut *fans self* - panda anon
Listen, if I went to church I would burst into flames as soon as I set foot inside LOL. I hope you enjoyed it, panda anon! Thank you for reading :3
Anonymous said: daMN IWSY IS SO GOOOOOOD!!!!!! I just read it all in one sitting and I read really slowly so it took me all day oops. Ur an amazing writer though, like, this whole series has me squealing any time anything happens. I also don't read much so I'm impressed that I'm finally hooked on a fanfic! I'll probably be yelling and also in a coffin waiting to be lowered into my grave until next week so see you then oops
Oh my goodness you read it all in one sitting >< I’m so impressed by that! Thank you for taking the time to do that and then tell me! :) Please don’t go in a coffin >< I’d be very sad! heh thank you for reading my dear and I hope you look forward to the future chapters ^^
Anonymous said: I AM FUCKING DEAD. I AM FUCKING DECEASED. MY BODY IS ROTTING IN THE GROUND AND IM TYPING THIS FROM MY GRAVE AS WE SPEAK. I WONT STOP YOU IS MY FAV FANFIC AND I LOVE YOUR WRITING. I CANT FUCKING WAIT TIL NEXT WEEK OH GOD THAT WAS TOO GOOD. BLESS. FUCK I WANNA CRY CUZ IT WAS THAT GOOD.
WAIT - SO THERE IS LIFE AFTER DEATH? ALRIGHT, COOL, LIT, DYING DOESN’T SEEM SO BAD NOW lol~ Ahghbsdkgs thank you so much my little flower ^^ I’m so happy you enjoyed it! And..I think you might enjoy next week’s chapter too then :3 hehe~
@suga-buns said: IWSY is breaking me Omg. And that sex scene was super well written Omg props to you. Can't wait until next week's chapter!
Thank you so much babe! I’m so happy that you thought it was well written ^^ I hope you’ll enjoy next weeks chapter too c:
@coppertopging said: I was wrong... i wasn't ready for any of that. Damn...
YOU WASN’T READDYYYY (sorry, vine will have forever ruined my life with that sentence) lmao but I hope it was enjoyable nonetheless my dear! Thank you for reading it :D
Anonymous said: The new "I Won’t Stop You" chapter was amazing! Wow!! I thought you would skip writing their special night together in detail because that's how the preview sounded in chapter 12's ending, but I'm so glad there's a entire chapter dedicated to it! ♥♥♥
Oh my goodness no! I’m evil but I’m not THAT evil~ I wouldn’t do that to you guys hehe ^^ I wanted to dedicate this entire chapter to really prove how Y/N has affected Jungkook in such a way that he is able to be so loving, caring and tender with her; as he was never able to so such things before. Thank you so much for reading lovely! ^^
Anonymous said: Oh my FucKiNG gOD sarA. Tht was literally gold. Omg 4.5k of pure gold omg I loved it I am dying for more. Omg. Fuck. Oh MY gOd I am at a loss for words.
You’re dying for more? Maybe your wish will be granted next week - and a little more....rough too? c; heheh~ Thank you so much for reading this chapter babe! :D
Anonymous said: i love the fact that jungkook wants to be agressive and go all rough on her but hes so considerate knowing its her first time lmao the smut was so sweet and nice i think im... inlove
Yes! Thank you for picking up on that! He just cares about her so much and he can’t explain how he is able to love because of her - but he wanted to show her he is capable of doing that, thanks to her ^^ Hehe, thank you so much for reading it and I’m glad you enjoyed this chapter too! :D
Anonymous said: so the smut scene is on part 13 COINCIDENCE???? I THINK NOT!!!!
*GASP* *SHOCK* ;o
Anonymous said: I CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT PART I WONDER HOW IS IT GOING TO BE LIKE BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM WHEN THEY GO TO WORK THE NEXT DAY LMAO
Hmmm yes...I wonder what will happen the next morning...;) Thank you for reading my love! :D
Anonymous said: I WAS SO SCARED I THOUGHT JK WAS GONNA END UP BITING ME ... god now im wonderin if tht could actually happen 🤧🤧🤧
Oh my goodness yes c: Idk about anyone else but the thought of that actually makes me feel a little hot >< haha I’m possibly just very kinky whoOps~
@jynxy24 said: THE SMUT HAS ARRIVED!!!!!! @-@ Is it wrong that I grinned the whole time i was reading it? BTW THE CHAPTER WAS SO GREAT GAWDDDDDDD!! Stay awesome at writing and life, Sara. LOVE YA!♥♥
YES THE SMUT IS HERE FINALLY! No it’s not wrong at all, I’m happy to know that you grinned the entire time! :3 Thank you so much for your lovely compliments my dear :D And thank you for reading it as well! I love you more ^^
Anonymous said: I love I won't stop so muchh I can't wait for the next chapter!!
Thank you so much my dear! I hope you will enjoy the next chapter too :D
Anonymous said: "Not hung like a horse," AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh
LMAO I’m so sorry x)
Anonymous said: Hi Sara! So I was thinking, maybe y/n is the daughter of a vampire and a human, and that's why she's so special? And maybe that is the reason why Yoongi wants her, maybe she has some kind of powers idk. I love guessing things of this beautiful serie! ❤ ~mina
I won’t stay whether you are wrong or right because I would like it to be a surprise for everyone! But I love when people tell me what they think because it can say in my head ‘wrong’ or ‘right’ hehe ^^ Thank you so much for reading darling ^^
@deboracorrea25 said: I'm touched... I'm wordless... This chapter of "I won't stop you" was just perfect!!
Thank you so much for your kind words sweetie ^^ I’m so happy you liked it!
Anonymous said: The latest update of I Won't Stop You was so good I'm shook!! There was the perfect amount of smut and fluff, it could not have been better! You can be proud of yourself :))
Ah thank you so much for your kind and sweet words to me :) I’m so happy you enjoyed the chapter. Although, I hope I can evoke similar feelings next week - but...more roughness? ;) Thank you so much!
20 notes · View notes
yas-surveys · 4 years
Text
162. // THEN, THEN, NOW
Then: December 18, 2014 Then: December 18, 2015 Now: January 13, 2020 (Damn it would be cool if i answered this last december anyways)
1. Where was the last place you went to hang out? Do you hang out there often? If not, where do you usually go? THEN: i can’t actually remember HAHA. maybe 7-eleven or something, yeah. THEN: at the mall i guess, well not really often, but for the christmas time i guess, since i go shopping with enzo NOW:i have literally no idea, the last time i was out was to go to school, and i dont think that counts as a hangout, DAMN IM BORING
2. When did you last speak to your best friend of the opposite sex? What did you talk about? THEN: - Friday, his love life. HAHAHA. THEN: - yesterday; all kinds of stuff, lol, HAHAHA, but we last discusses about the gift his friends gave him and he was too lazy to read the instructions so i read it for him lol NOW: yesterday! we were talking about going to the beach
3. Would you rather be called ‘beautiful’ or ‘sexy’? Why? THEN: - beautiful bc when you say beautiful, it’s kinda all in all, your personality and stuff THEN: ^^ NOW: WHY PICK ONE, WHY NOT BOTH? 
4. Do you think someone is attracted to you? THEN: probably??? THEN: i honestly have no idea NOW: yeah
5. When was the last time you used public transport? THEN: last Friday THEN: yesterday NOW: the last time i went out? january 8
6. Are there any flirty messages in your inbox? THEN: - noooope THEN: nope NOW:
7. What age do you think is the right age to lose your virginity? Do you think people are losing it too soon these days? If so, why do you think people feel the need to lose it at a very young age? THEN: - idrk, maybe when you know your emotionally ready and you have a job bc you need to support your child yourself. yeah, bc sometimes teenagers don’t think about what’s going to happen to them if they got pregnant, what they have in mind is the happiness while doing it or something, idk, maybe bc being not a virgin is a huge part of your life and stuff and they like to brag to others and stuff THEN: ^^ NOW: hOLY SHIT IM ACTUALLY CRYING AT MY ANSWERS HAHAAHAHAAHA ANYWAYS, LOSING YOUR VIRGINITY DOESNT MEAN GETTING PREGNANT MARGARET, THERE’S CONTRACEPTIVES. OH MY GOD. But sorry for my past self, I won’t say that there’s a right age to lose your virginity? Some who lost them in such an early young age are probably thriving right now? It doesn’t matter? As long as it consensual and you’re in the right mindset of what you’re doing then I don’t see why it’s supposed to matter? Like they say virginity is a social construct, which you just fucking call when you first had sex. I do think people are losing it too soon but I don’t think that’s such a bad thing? It’s a fucking normal thing that humans long. What we should talk about the issue of unwanted pregnancies and sex education. But not the point that wherein really young people are doing it? I really can’t say, I don’t have much statistics. But I do feel like that CERTAIN people need to lose it since being a virgin is now such a big word. Which is what we need to demolish. If we just unhinge that word from it’s meaning then I don’t think everyone would make such a big fuss about it? You’re just another person to have sex for the first time? Congratulations, now everybody, move along?
8. Do you make an effort to be nice to people you dislike? Would you hang around with someone you disliked, if your other friends liked them? THEN: - yeah. well, me and my friends, dislike the same people so we’re fine THEN: ^^ NOW: yea, i actually do since i believe that even though you hate somebody else, it’s no excuse to be not nice to them? so i don’t get this plastic thing tbh
9. What’s the closest thing to you that’s green? THEN: - the couch i’m sitting on right now THEN: like a placemat i’m sitting on lol NOW: pillow
10. How exactly are you feeling at this moment? Why do you feel this way? THEN: - It’s so fucking cold, idk maaaaan. i’’m just rly feeling cold. HAHAHAHAHA. there’s this typhoon in our country and it’s just so cold THEN: OH GOD, i feel really sick and hot rn and i’ve been coughing all day :—( NOW: tired, my heart’s kind of hurting from the ashfall probably?
11 So, tell me a bit about your best friend of the opposite sex. Are you strictly just friends, or is there something more between you? THEN: - ooh, enzo, just in the past question we’re talkiing about his love life bc he broke up with this girl but i think they’re coming together again since they always talk and stuff. so we’re strictly just friends, and i don’t really like to be with him since i think it’s going to destroy our 3 years friendship THEN: still enzo, i mean this girl i’m talking about, enzo ended finally this may of this year, after lots of on and offs, and he’s not been with anyone since and it’s been the same for us, just friends, we cOOL bFFS 4 lyf NOW: OH MY GOD. THE GIRL WAS ESTER FUCK ME HAHAAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT, but it’s cool that enzo’s still my best friend
12. When was the last time you felt severe physical pain? What was the reason for your pain? THEN: - ooooh, i hit my knee on the edge of my bed. GOOD. it hurts a fuckin lot THEN: i can’t exactly remember, like severe sooOOoo idk rly NOW: idk tbh HAHAHAHAHAHA 
13 . In your opinion, what makes someone attractive? Be as general or as specific as you like. THEN: - appearance bc you know that’s the first thing people see and the personality THEN: well i guess now, it’s kind of both, i mean, sometimes, you look at what he’s doing and and his personality and just look at the appearance next and you can actually consider it sOooOOo NOW: ummm his mIND OH MY GOD. tbh now that i’m thinking of it very deeply, that’s where his intentions come from, what he thinks of you, what he wants to do for you, how much he loves, IT ALL COMES FROM THERE. SO DAMN. IF YOU’RE BOY A GENIUS. KEEP HIM. BUT LIKE EMOTIONAL AND INTELLECTUAL GENIUS.
14. When things in life start going wrong, are you the kind of person who tends to fall apart, or do you try to stay strong and hold it together? THEN: i’m kind of mixture of both. HAHAHA. THEN: ^^ still both lol, depends on the situation NOW: FALL APART LMAO.
15. Someone tells you that you’re beautiful/good-looking. Do you agree with them? THEN: - depends on who the person is THEN: ^^ NOW: i’d say thank you
16. If I came round to your house to have dinner, what would you make for me? THEN: - oh god i don’t cook soooo. THEN: ^^ NOW: but who are you? 
17. How did you meet the last person you added as a friend on Facebook? THEN: - i haven’t add anyone on fb so idk THEN: i haven’t added someone for a long long time, prolly a teacher in my school for school purposes too NOW: i have no idea who i last added on facebook. damn. so that’s still me after 5 years wow.
18. What is your relationship with your mother like? Is it a close relationship, or do you distance yourselves from each other? Why do you think your relationship is the way it is? THEN: - my relationship with my mom is great, i can talk to her about anything and stuff THEN: ^^ NOW: yea i guess, we are pretty close but not to the point where i tell her EVERYTHING, that’s just creepy
19. Can you remember the very first conversation you had with the last person you texted? THEN: - it was kirsten and i met her at 2nd grade bc it was the first day of 2nd grade and i was new andit was a big school, i didn’t know anyone so i cried and she went up to me and asked me why was i crying HAHA THEN: it was danice, and i honestly can’t remember tbh HAHAHAHAHA, we met in 4th grade NOW: it was my mom and ofc i can’t remember our first conversation
20. Do you keep up to date with the charts? Are there any songs that are kind of old now, that you still like to listen to? THEN: - nah, bc, i kinda listen to everything that makes my ears happy. HAHA. yeah. THEN: ^^ NOW: oh, hell no. i don’t even know what are the bops these days. i’m a grandma when it comes to music.
21. Who or what has been on your mind the most today? THEN: - christmas. christmas. christmas. THEN: yes yes yes ^^^ NOW: aw,,, i really do like christmas,,, hehehe, um nothing tbh
22. At what age do you think you’ll be ready to think about having children? THEN: - maybe like 24-26? THEN: as long as i’m financially stable then i’m good NOW: never. having kids.
23. Put your iPod or any music player on shuffle and give me the first two lines from the first 10 songs selected. THEN: - ‘Some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck; Some nights I call it a draw’ - ‘Cecilia, you’re breaking my heart; You’re shaking my confidence daily’ - 'First thing’s first, I’m the realest; Drop this and let the whole world feel it’ - 'Give me more lovin’ than I’ve ever had; Make it all better when I’m feelin’ sad’ - 'Baby, when they look up at the sky; We’ll be shooting stars just passing by’ - 'It’s just another night; And I’m staring at the moon’ - 'It’s probably what’s best for you; I only want the best for you’ - 'Saturday morning jumped out of bed and put on my best suit; Got in my car and raced like a jet, all the way to you’ - 'When your legs don’t work like they used to before; And I can’t sweep you off of your feet’ - 'so let’s sing na, na na na na, hey ya; cmon and sing na, na na na na, hey ya’ THEN: - ‘I am not that kind of girl, who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion’ - ‘And i hate to say i love you, when it’s hard for me’ - ‘Your love is bright as ever, even in the shadows’ -  I was born in the arms of imaginary friends, Free to roam, made a home out of everywhere I’ve been’ - ‘ My heart is sinking, As I’m lifting up’ - ‘ Wise men say, only fools rush in’ - ‘ Come on skinny love just last the year, Pour a little salt we were never here’ - ‘ He said, “Let’s get out of this town, Drive out of the city’ - ‘ Hush, don’t speak, When you spit your venom, keep it shut I hate it’ - ‘ I can taste salt water , And if I blink again’ NOW: OH MY GOD IM LAUGHING AT THOSE ANSWERS OKAY HERE’S MINE -  She's got a family in Carolina, So far away, but she says I remind her of home - You’re white dress, sparks words spontaneous -  Ain't never felt this way, Can't get enough so stay with me - After the war, I went back to New York, A-After the war, I went back to New York -  Darling, darling, doesn't have a problem, Lying to herself 'cause her liquor's top shelf - I wanna pick you up and scoop you out - I've got a secret for the mad, In a little bit of time it won't hurt so bad - Mr. Vice President, Mr. Madison, Senator Burr - You keep saying that you’re alright, but I can see you through your fake smile you’re not - 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9, There are 10 things you need to know
24. The last time you went for a night out, who did you go with? THEN: - i don’t rly go on night outs but maybe the last one will be last october 28 wt my friends THEN: i still don’t go on night outs, well i mean, the latest i came home this month was 10:30 and i was out christmas shopping with enzo so NOW: my college blockmates i think?
25. Do you know anyone who doesn’t use Facebook, or dislikes it? Do you like or dislike it? THEN: - yeah, one of my best friends, laya, she hates it HAHA but we need to use it for school stuff. and laya actually keeps an eye on things, she wants not to be noticed on fb and stuff HAHA. i don’t really dislike it but i don’t love it either THEN: well laya has not been ranting about fb and she’s been using it a lot for chat purposes so, as of now, i don’t know anyone NOW: i don’t think so, neither
26. Have you ever mistaken a complete stranger for someone you knew? THEN: - yeah, but i think, i haven’t came to them (*i came to them, 2020) and said hi HAHA THEN: yeah NOW: yea
27. What did you have for breakfast this morning? THEN: - just bread and peanut & butter, and i’m rly hungry rn THEN: well i got out of bed like 3:36 or something, and there was no food so i ate this good large bread HAHAHAHAH and just some nerds and chocolate and that’s all the food i’ve eaten today and it’s 8:40 already and i haven’t had a proper meal yet, i’m really hungry NOW: tocino
28. Have you ever made a promise to someone that you didn’t keep? THEN: -  yeah, i think we all have THEN: yeah NOW: yeah
29. Are you ever afraid to show how you feel? THEN: - yeah, i’m always afraid THEN: ^^ yep, i am still NOW: depends on who i am with
30. Have you ever been blamed or got into trouble for something that wasn’t your fault? THEN: - yeah THEN: yeah NOW: yeah
31. Have you ever wondered what death might be like, and what might happen afterwards? It’s depressing to think about I know, but do you have an opinion about it? THEN: - yeah, oh my gods, it’s just so confusing; what would the people feel if i died and stuff, and what would happen to me, would i still see my friends and stuff THEN: i’ve been reading a lot of books associated with death, i guess, and it’s making me think more, and i guess, it’s just sleeping forever and it’s quite creepy NOW: yea of course, i don’t really have an opinion about it? but i do wonder what happens next? do you really lose unconsciousness and just drift away? 
32. Tell me something you like about your life, and something you dislike about it. THEN: - oh god, it’s gotten pretttty chaotic, i’m miserable and depressed and confused than before THEN: my life rn has beeeen a complete mess, GOD, i don’t like it. i really feel down and i mean being on christmas break is actually heping me a lot sine there NOW: i honestly can’t think of one things that’s going in the right direction at the moment, yesterday I was fucking crying my eyes out and promised myself to get checked as soon as I can.
33. Choose 10 people at random. THEN: 1. Ysabel 2. David 3. Enzo 4. Ester 5. Laya 6. Earl 7. Pamela 8. Nica 9. Kirsten 10. Kris THEN: 1. Kirsten 2. Enzo 3. Laya 4. Danice 5. David 6. Hannah 7. Pamela 8. Ricafort 9. Ysabel 10. Vito NOW: 1. Kirsten 2. Raphael 3. Enzo 4. Kate 5. Derick 6. Aly 7. Cely 8. Miki 9. Joui 10. Vanessa
34. Do you think 1 would ever help you out if you were in trouble? - i hope so NOW: yea
35. Would you swap places with 2 for a week? - sure, HAHAHA NOW: HELL NO. 
36. What would you say if 3 asked you out? - yea sure HAHA NOW: sure
37. Who is taller, you or 4? - i have no idea, i think she is NOW: she is
38. Do you think 5 has ever lied to you? -  yeah, probably NOW: i dont think so?
39. Do you think 6 will ever get married? - yeah, why not NOW: yea
40. If you had to cook a meal for 7, what would you make? - i did the numbers random, and it ended up on pamela again HAHAHAHAA but still, bacon HAHA, the only thing i can make that she likes NOW: PANCIT CANTON HAHAAHAHHA
41. Do you think 8 will ever get married? - yeah. NOW: yea
42. If 9 turned up at your door now, what would you do/say? Would you let him/her in? - YA YA YA NOW: yea
43. When is 10’s birthday? - o god, i’m not rly sure lol, prolly april???? i’M SO SORRY VITO NOW: september 18
44. Have you ever felt jealous of 1? - yeah, i guess, but not that much NOW: yea i guess at some aspects like being rich lmao.
45. If 2 decided never to speak to you again, would you care? - OH GOD YES NOW: OF COURSE I WOULD OH MY GOD
46. What colour is 3’s hair? - black and brown NOW: black
47. Do you know what colour 4’s eyes are? - black NOW: black
48. When was the last time you talked to 5? What did you talk to him/her about? - yesterday, not much NOW: january 7 in chat, january 11.
49. Who has kissed the most people, you or 6? - we haven’t kissed anyone yet HAHAHA NOW: OMG I ACTUALLY HAVE NO IDEA!!! i feel like me? but still no idea
50. What is the age difference between you and 7? Who is older? - she’s older. but i’m still taller HAHAHAHA NOW: she is
51. Describe 8 - what does he/she look like? - oh, he’s dark brown, laya and i LOVEEEE his legs, it’s smooth, he has a pretty strong feminine side and he has a subtle curly hair, his teeth are quite crooked and HE’s REALLY FUNNY NOW: REALLY SMALL GIRL WITH A SMALL FACE and long hair and such a petite frame
52. Is 9’s house within walking distance? - no, it’s near our school and our school is 30 minutes away without traffic from our house NOW: NO WAY
53. What if you found out that 10 had sex with the person you love/like? - OH MY GOD well, starting they’re not gay and stuff but if it happened, i would just be shocked NOW: HOLY SHIT THAT IS PRETTY AND VERY UNLIKELY BUT HOLY SHIT. THAT’S VERY WEIRD SCENARIO TO PICTURE
54. Do you like your teeth? THEN: - i don’t love them but i don’t hate them either THEN: i hate it NOW: hate it
55. Have you ever been to the cinema to watch a film, and ended up walking out because you hated it? THEN: - nope THEN: i have never done it, it’s just like wasting money and why watch a film when you know you wouldn’t like it NOW: UGH NEVER, if you don’t like it then just sleep? it’s cozy in there
56. The last person you held hands with, is that person single? THEN: - it was carl, but we’re just friends, and it was a joke, and yes he’s single THEN: i can’t even remember NOW: no he’s not
57. How about the last person you messaged on Facebook, are they single? THEN: - yep THEN: yes NOW: nope
58. How old is the 11th person in your phone’s contacts list? THEN: - i have no idea THEN: - still have no idea NOW: i don’t know tbh, her late 20′s?
59. Does it bother you when people ask questions about your love life? THEN: - nah THEN: not rly since i have non HAHAHAHA NOW: not really
60. Does the last person you kissed have freckles? THEN: - nope THEN: i haven’t kissed anyone yet so NOW: nope
61. Is it easy for people to tell when you’re upset, or are you good at hiding it? THEN:  i have resting bitch face so people always think i’m mad or something THEN: ^^ NOW: I DONT HAVE A FUCKING RBF WHO WAS I KIDDING!!! OH MY GOD. i’m not good at hiding when im upset.
62. Have you ever thought about joining a dating site? THEN: - oh gods, idek. i really have no idea HAHAHA. but yeah lol THEN: sure why not lol, but i always thought about it being very awkward NOW: already did
63. On a scale of 1 to 10, how you would you rate your own appearance (going on how you look right now)? THEN: probably 6 lol. i look oily and my hair looks awful right now THEN: prolly a 7, because i feel like ‘I LOOK REALLY OKAY AND THIS IS NOT WHAT I LOOK LIKE WHEN THERE’S PEOPLE AROUND NOW: OH HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD A SOLID ZERO. 
64. On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you right now? THEN:  a 5, i just found out that my crush wants to bring evrything back gdi (Oh my GOD, HE DID NOT WANT EVERYTHING BACK, 2020) THEN: a 6, i guess NOW: 7????
65. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate this survey? THEN: - like a 7? THEN: ^^ NOW: ^^ 
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0225pm · 5 years
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it is currently 8:34am!!
just wanted to update on today’s events before i sleep.
so earlier this morning, i accompanied my mom to akmal’s madrasah graduation but rayhan managed to book out earlier than expected so he was able to come see the grad. but in the letter they said that they only allowed max of 2 people into the hall so i decided to just let my mom and rayhan go since tbh, i wasn’t wearing the proper attire to go in the masjid anyway. at first, i was kinda upset with my mom cus i didn’t see the point of me going if rayhan was going since only 2 people are allowed per child but then thinking of my mom going there on her own makes me worry a little since she’s rather frail so i decided to go with her and sent her to the masjid, waited for rayhan to come before making my way to bedok interchange.
it has been a rather long while since i’ve been to the interchange, or anyway really, on my own. i’m the kind of person that prefers having company than doing things alone. some may say that i lack independency but whatever it is, it’s always nice to have company. as i was walking around aimlessly in the mall, i thought of going to mcdonald’s to just lepak until my mom calls but it was too damn crowded and i missed the breakfast timing by a minute, so that was a bummer. but yeah, can you actually imagine me eating alone??? the last time i had to do that was back when i was working for YG at OG and taka, for my lunch break since i was working alone lol. but anyway, as i made my rounds at each levels, i finally decided to buy something to eat at old chang kee and then as i went back up the escalator, i thought of going to heartbeat but then again the thought of having to walk all the way there while i was socially sweating seems like a major no at that point so i decided not to and went to starbucks instead. alas, what a poor decision i’ve made. like literally, poor LOL cus i was $8.80 poorer after buying one of their christmas frappe lol and i didn’t even add whipped cream!! i should have said yes to whipped cream bc those are free unless you want extras, then you’ll have to pay. but anyway, the good thing is there was a lot of empty seats at starbucks which was quite weird considering that it’s a saturday but i was thankful cus it means that i didn’t have to stand awkwardly waiting for my mom to call.
so after i collected my drink, i sat down and i watched a couple episodes of chilling adventures of sabrina on netflix. luckily i downloaded a few so i managed to save on data haha but i didn’t think to bring my portable charger and my battery was getting pretty low after awhile. also i noticed that the person spelled my name as “hady” instead of “heidy” lol but wtvr doesn’t bother me. and then i think around 1+ almost 2, my mom called saying that they’re done with the ceremony and then asking me to go meet her and my cousins at this shop called new rezki and at first i was kinda lost and then well, my mom has this habit of like screeching her voice into the phone so it sounds like she’s shouting and/or raising her voice intensely like as though she’s mad and pissed at you but really, she’s not. i guess it’s a bad habit she picked up after countless “huh hello” whenever she called someone. but yeah, so i got a little bit upset cus the feeling’s not good when someone is raising their voice at you and i was wearing my earpiece for goodness sake so i kinda raised my voice a little too and then like i said, i was lost so she tried to direct me but LOL i ended up just googling and apparently it’s just right across the interchange, roughly about 4 mins walk as stated on map.
after seeing me, we all started ordering the food we wanted. akmal got fried noodles, rayhan had to watch what he eat cus he’s in NS and he’ll be punished if he gains weight instead of losing so he got a bowl of beef salad. my mom got bee hoon kuah and i got their mutton chop. it was ok but very oily for my taste so i don’t think i’ll ever buy that again unless i’m craving for it and if i’m nearby. it’s a dollar cheaper than the ones selling at thohirah though. oh and the shop is 24/7 too! i guess most, if not all, mamak eateries are 24/7. after we had our lunch, my mom bought some lauk back for my dad and for dinner and then we all headed back to the interchange. from there we split ways with my cousins cus they were taking the bus at the entrance of the mall, whereas we were taking the one at the interchange.
the moment i reached home, i quickly took a shower again and shampooed my hair cus i perspired earlier on and as i was changing i heard knocking on my window. i was so shook wtf cus i wasn’t expecting anyone but turns out it was farhan. like seriously what the heck.... LOL i was happy la but i was also very shock cus i thought he was gonna take the train but he actually took a grab all the way to my place instead. damn bobo la hahahaha and i wasn’t even fully ready yet even. so i rushed and did my usual face makeup and then let him in so he didn’t have to wait so long for me outside and then i did my usual going out routine. drying my hair, straightening a little, picking outfits and putting them together in my head. for some reason i was super duper indecisive about my outfit today. like idk why i couldn’t just grab and go like i usually do. and i also always will look through look books or style accounts and then visualize it in my head and i’m set but idk why the hell was i so damn frikin indecisive and fickle minded about my outfit today i kept changing and changing and then wearing different pieces together and shit and lol i finally ended up wearing the first outfit i tried which was just a black dress with a denim jacket. the sad thing is, the dress was kinda short and when i walk it gets even shorter so every now and then i had to pull it down but it’s really a cute dress though i think it’ll be nicer on someone shorter haha.
we walked to the bus stop and then went to tampines cus i had to get the brooch that my mom wants at isetan and while on the way there we were thinking of what to eat and looking through links that i’ve saved on facebook on different places we can go and eat at but most of them were either too far or too expensive and we don’t have that kind of money to throw on food yet, especially not when we still have 2 more weeks left till end of the month. after awhile, we decided to stop at tamp hub and eat at the thai shop, the one where we ate before. but lol the queue was so long and it seems like a long wait + majority of the tables were filled so we settled for tenderfresh. i felt like having fish so i got their grilled fish with aglio olio and farhan got the chicken chop one. i like their aglio olio!! it has this mild spice taste and farhan says that it’s kinda like mee goreng. overall, it was nice. their buffalo wings could be a little bit spicy though but it was still good! 😋
after our late lunch early dinner, we went to isetan to see the brooches but sadly there wasn’t anymore sale price and it was going at $19 per pin so i called my mom and ask if she still wants it and she said no cus it’s too expensive and if it was $9 like before it’ll still be ok. so we ended up not getting anything there. though now thinking about i felt like i should have just splurge my money to get her one brooch at least since she has been wanting it when she first noticed it last saturday.
afterwards, i casually mentioned genki before to farhan and he thought i was joking but lol we ended up taking the train and going to genki cus i said that i wanna satisfy my cravings. we went to the bugis outlet and surprisingly the queue was moving really fast. i got the ones i wanted and we spent less than 20 bucks there which was really unexpected but also good i guess. i’m so thankful that farhan was ok with splitting the bill even though he didn’t even eat a lot. then after that we walked from bugis to dhoby as usual and i wanted to walk even further down towards plaza sing bus stop but we saw another 65 coming so we decided to walk back towards the sota bus stop and take it there instead hehe.
i really enjoyed my day today with him. it has been a wonderful day and i hope that we will have more good happy days like these. i like how we shared our music interest while on the bus ride home, and then i was so in awe when i heard him rapping!!! he really look so cool at that moment hahaha like im not kidding. maybe i’m the only one who sees him and think that he’s cool la but hahaha wtvr 😂 i also like how we joked a lot and just sorta teased each other lol or maybe that was me bc i kacau him on the train ride towards bugis hahaha and his reactions are all so cute wth i just wanna squish him 🥰😍 and then i get to lay in his arms!!!! that’s always my fav part at the end of the day tbh. just being in his embrace hais.... oh and he went home really late (or should i say early lol) around 7am cus we had a hard time booking a grab!!! but also bc we were busy playing ml hahaah we were on a roll but had to stop since he hasn’t been home for the whole day and me too but like my house is just here ya know whereas he lives all the way at the other side hahaha so yeah i gotta get him back home and to sleep also since we didn’t get much sleep that night. one day i wanna try sneaking him into the house and letting him just sleep in my brother’s room or something after my dad’s asleep. but idk if i have the guts haha or maybe should do like that time when he stayed in my brother’s room till really late and we played games together and watched movies on netflix. that was fun too 😁
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brookeasimonss-blog · 6 years
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About my past - part three
(I’m trying to make this sound as logical and make this sound sense as much as possible)
It was probably a week or so after the passing of my mom and the events that followed soon after. The custody fully switched to my dad because of my moms passing and they of course, split it. I came back to roundrock to start my 8th grade year. I went to open house with Shirin probably three or four days before school started. It was a new school so we got to check out everything and get our schedules.
School started first day and I remember sleeping over at shirins that night so we could go through our first day of 8th grade together. We got up extra early for an optional choice for the cheer squad so we could be on the news for the “roundrock isd back to school today” or whatever.
Volleyball tryouts followed the next day and I was super pissed because I did HORRIBLE, but I’m glad I went back because I ended up on being put onto A team. My mom worked at one of the schools in the district and we were visitors for that game. If this doesn’t sound weird at all.. I could feel my moms blood pumping through my veins and thoughts were crossing my head “show her your capabilities” “you can do this” “for her” “show off your #7 like nobody else” and so on so fourth. It lit me on fire. I could feel my blood boiling. I was really pleased with that game, it was awesome. 1) I got my first on the floor save 2) I made a good hit from back row that earned us a point 3) my coach understood what was happening and she believed in me 4) our team had awesome spirit that game. Our last game was my favorite though because it was against the school that 50/50 left to be at the new one. So I was like “come on brooke, show them what your made of” oh god but i died inside when I tripped while serving but the weirdest thing happened in those 2 seconds. I was serving and I could hear my moms voice “brooke, the line” and I was like “oh crap” and I tripped while serving and I bet it looked funny, people were laughing to but hey I was laughing at myself and the ball went over so hey it doesn’t really matter.
I also had some times where I ate out with my moms friends to discuss things or whatnot. Oh don’t let me forget her birthday dinner either. (September 14th) so of course I’m still on everything about my mom.
At the time I was having an awful experience at my dads. Don’t get me wrong I love my dad, I mean he’s my parent. He wouldn’t take care of me (I’m not exaggerating) ,there was barely any food in the fridge, I only ate at school, he wouldn’t drive me anywhere, he wouldn’t care about what I wanted for me and my self being, we would argue and it was verbally abusive at times (I’ve been manipulated my whole life by him) my health didn’t matter to him. It was awful. I would talk to jim and kim every week. Thank god my grandad and grandma (my sister and I call her Grammie) were in town. They were trying to get the custody of my sister and I switched over to jim and Kim because they loved my sister and I like their own and they’ve been there before my sister and I were born. (Long history) Also it is stable there, a very good environment, and they are very good people. They would talk to our family relatives and my dads closest friends about the situation and get the point over to my dad that it wasn’t an ok environment to be and live in. (and it sure as hell wasn’t okay at all) At first my dad said no which made no sense bc I would always be in my room alone and he wasn’t taking care of me so.. what.
People at school were just not up my alley, it was so bad I didn’t talk to anyone. Literally. Nobody. I don’t have trust issues just a lot of people weren’t cutting it.
Anyway, same thing keeps happening within the next 3 weeks. (People keep trying to convince my dad, everyone was on my sister and I’s side) I would call jim balling my eyes out quite a few times. I remember what I would say too “get me out of here” “it’s terrible” “I can’t stand it anymore” and etc. At this point I’m in dallas to see my family for thanksgiving, and my sister and I get called to the living room right after we eat...come to find out my dad got arrested. (He got bailed out) and then it’s the day my sister and I were supposed to go home. We’re at the halfway point from roundrock and to where I live now. Approching to the stoplight where you go either the one way or the other. My aunt calls... “YOUR DAD SIGNED THE PAPERS, CUSTODY IS UNDER JIM AND KIM!!” oh my god let me tell you my sister and I had our heads out of the roof. We were screaming ( in a good way) and as I heard those 5 words it felt like going on a slide after being cooped up in a dragons castle like a princess (LOL)
So then we found ourselves at jim and kims and we were just talking and having the time of our lives. Jim was asking if I wanted to switch schools and a part of me said yes and another said no. So as I’m going to school in roundrock and moving my stuff to where I live now I was thinking about another MAJOR life changing decision that was coming up to me.
It was about to be before Christmas break and the same bull crap kept happening at school, it was the defenition of a hell hole. So I finally said yes to switching schools because I was so over it. I got my remaining stuff from school and just left. I didn’t tell anyone. I was just.. gone. No trace of me or anything. One of my friends was an office aid and figured out what was happening as we were talking to the counselor while getting my info switched and getting my roundrock accounts deactivated or whatnot. It was known by lunch that I left the school and the fact that I didn’t say a word. Oops...lol. Later that day we drove to where I’m at now and got my classes set up and started to meet the office staff!
Oh but don’t worry this was just the beginning.
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idealisticrealism · 7 years
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Blindspot 2x20 recap
(Aka the one where the team pulls a prison break and a few big secrets are revealed) 
This is one of those episodes that improves upon rewatching (possibly due to being too traumatised the first time around). And with so much of the story revolving around badass ladies, what’s not to love??
So, here’s installment #2 for this week. Enjoy.
Ughhh my baby Zapata is having her mugshot taken and I’m super conflicted about it bc on one hand I’m so worried for her but on the other all I can think is that she looks like a freakin’ model and ugh this is too much for me rn. And ugh she’s being shut up behind bars and she looks so little in her orange jumpsuit and everyone else looks so mean and angry and ugh my precious cupcake ughhh. And oooh here’s Ronda, and it’s actually so weird to see her meekly handing over her toothbrush bc her irl fighting persona is always so (ง'̀-‘́)ง  and just ready to throw down at all times. I love her little jibe about the other chick needing the toothbrush more tho haha– maybe not quite as meek as I thought. And then awww Zapata is like 'here, friend’ and offers her another toothbrush and gets totally brushed off (heh). But dammit Ronda– I mean, Devon– that was just plain rude to my baby, she’s only trying to make friends, c’mon
Ugh speaking of my babies, Jane is being super adorable and talking about needing to fix the radiator (*cough* Weller could probably do it *cough*) so Roman could get a good night’s sleep and ugh she sounds so chipper and I very much believe that she slept very well with some very pleasant dreams (basically playing out the plot of Uninterrupted, lbr) and ughhh she’s on such a high and then sigh Roman brings it crashing down by bringing up The Emma Secret. I’m emotional over the fact it’s tearing him up this much to keep it from Weller though– shows he really isn’t the same as Old Roman. And ugh Jane knows he’s right but she also feels even more trapped by it than she did before, bc since Roman has been allowed out she knows that it will only look worse that she held this back and ughhh she and Weller are in such a good place rn and she so desperately doesn’t want to ruin that, even though she knows she has to 'fess up and do the right thing and ugh my poor baby I don’t like your choices but I can understand them, and I know you are heading for a whole lot of pain and ugh can’t I fix this for you both somehow please
Speaking of my handsome munchkin (who I bet also slept extremely well last night, and possibly even had to do some early morning laundry because of it), Weller has called Patterson into his office because he has reports of her not going home at night– and lollll her sputtering indignation is so priceless. Genius she may be, actor she is not. And he tells her that her keycard log gave her away, which raises two points for me: first, surely she would be smart enough (and obviously have the skills) to erase those logs so no one would find out? Unless she was just too frazzled, idk. And secondly, has Weller taken on the role of checking all the logs so he can spot anyone coming and going who shouldn’t be? Silently watching over his team and his office? Ugh my beautiful protective son. And then he’s so gentle when he asks her what’s going on and reminds her that she has to trust her team and learn how to delegate, because they need her. And she gets in a huff and goes to leave like an angsty teen, but he tells her to wait and follows her and ugh Weller please hug her. Please. But instead he tells her they have to look after themselves and asks her to go see Dr Sun. Damn, would have preferred the hug. But sidenote at least we know that they know about Zapata already? Phew. They’ll get her out, I know it.
Oooh Jane arrives at the bullpen looking nervous, and Weller is literally one of the first people she sees. Ugh and she’s almost a little breathless as she says 'hey, Kurt’ (ugh the first name thing still gets me, though I love that she also still uses 'Weller’) and he’s all cool like *nods* 'Jane’, and her breath comes out on a tiny almost-chuckle which I am very much going to assume is related to the fact that they’re being all cool and casual when like 12 hours ago they very nearly made out with each other’s faces and then proceeded to spend the whole night dreaming about it. But she avoids that topic and asks about Zapata instead, which means she’d already been briefed on it before even getting to work… and then aaahhh they’re literally making small-talk, with Weller asking her about how things with Roman are going (bet he regrets letting him out a little just bc now he can’t come over for private time at Jane’s haha) and she admits she’s worried about Roman, about how he only ever sees the NYO and the safehouse and ugh I get where she’s coming from but also honey don’t be asking for too much too fast… and then omg this takes an unexpected direction when Weller literally seems to have a lightbulb moment and invites them both over for dinner tonight. Omg. This is literally a date under the guise of a friendly dinner. It’s a date-plus-chaperone. And wow Jane goes from surprised and delighted to terrified to faux-happily accepting all in the space of a second, and then as he tells her the time and turns away, her 'sure’ is barely more than a whisper, her hands moving awkwardly like she literally doesn’t know what to do with herself because shit, she can’t do this, she can’t keep this from him any longer bc in that split second when he suggested dinner she wanted it SO BADLY but she knows she can’t have that connection between her and him/him and Roman until she’s honest with him, and so now a deadline has been put in place. There is never going to be a 'best time’, so the time is today. She’ll tell him today. And ugh as she watches him walk away, she’s completely and utterly terrified that the next time he walks away from her it’ll be for good…
Ugh I love prisons. Why do places that represent such awful things fascinate me so much?? Well, okay, because of my eternal love of Prison Break, obviously. But still. They’re just interesting. And speaking of interesting, Zapata’s about to step into a fight between Devon and the Boss Lady. Boss Lady gets in a good first punch, and Devon looks like she’s about to get her ass beaten, when Zapata walks straight into the Boss and is all 'you’re in my way’. Ooooooh man she may be tiny but she got biiiig balls. But then aaaahhh Boss Lady is kicking her ass and nooooo my babyyyyy I don’t want to see thisssss. She and Devon actually start doing a pretty good job of holding their own, though, and I’m personally really kinda enjoying seeing them team up and kick butts. Oh hold on, Boss Lady is named Liz. That’s easier. Also man the whole no-snitching thing is such an interesting culture– everyone else present knows who’s responsible, but doesn’t say a word, even when they lose their yard time too. And oooohhh noooo Weller’s here to visit now and ughhhh the stunned look on his face when he sees her injuries and the slightly ashamed but also defiant look on hers when she sits down. Aaaaarghhh. And he’s all “what the hell happened” because he’s Mr Protective and hates to see his family getting hurt and ughhhhh. And then lol I love how the camera zooms in as he looks around, telling us that he’s about to reveal a secret. And he does– turns out, this whole thing is all their own plan. And then we get a flashback to the bar– and wait hold on, that was 72 hours ago?? Dammit, that means we actually missed the cutely-awkward morning-after-almost-kissing Jeller interactions? Ugh I’m so bummed. Ah well, I’m going to assume it just involved a lot of quick, shy smiles and carefully keeping their conversation limited to Zapata and other safe topics. But omg okay I’m over my disappointment now bc ughhh in the flashback Weller’s getting teased by the others for offering to pay for the next round– which apparently he never does? I’m kinda surprised by that. Also I feel like they’re a little past round three rn lol. And ugh Jane defends him by saying he bought her drinks once– when she had no money and no ID. And wait this needs to slow down because I have many questions???? When was this drinks-buying?? Who else was there?? And does this mean she now DOES have ID? What name is on it?? And lbr who would think she was underage anyway? Surely no one would bother to card her. But ugh the main takeaway from this moment is that HER HAND IS ON HIS SHOULDER AS SHE SPEAKS. UNNECESSARY AND LINGERY TOUCHING, MY FRIENDS, AND SO RECENTLY AFTER THE ALMOST-KISSING. THERE IS NOTHING UNINTENTIONAL OR INNOCENT ABOUT THAT. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh. And then ugh Patterson gets a text with details from one of the shredded Sandstorm documents– she’s found a new name, a new Sandstorm member for them all to track.
So now they’re all at the NYO, wearing the same clothes, and all I can think about is all of them sharing an Uber to get there lol and I so want to imagine Weller and Jane squished up against each other in the backseat with Zapata smirking on Jane’s other side and deliberately taking up as much room as she can, but I feel that logically it would have been the three ladies in the backseat and Weller in the front. Sigh, logic sucks. Anyway they look at the details they found on Devon, who was arrested for weapons smuggling, most likely for Sandstorm. Weller wants to bring her in, but Jane says she won’t talk if they do– so she offers to go undercover instead. Nice thought, honey, but given that you’re kinda the heir to the Sandstorm throne, this is one undercover op you can’t do. And ughhh Zapata’s got her determined face on and says 'let me in, Coach’ and ugh she brushes aside his objections and tells him they need to step things up if they want to get ahead, and ugh he doesn’t like it but looks at Jane and she looks back at him and even without a single word exchanged he knows she agrees with Zapata and so he gives in. Ugh my amazing in-tune babies. But because he’s Weller, he’ll only allow it if there’s safety measures in place, because he needs to protect her any way he can. And so no one– not even the arresting officers– know that this is a sting. So what did they have her arrested for though?? They must have made something up, bc it totally wouldn’t be the Coach Jones thing. There’d be no way to wipe that slate clean. But anyhow back in the present, Weller is still very unhappy about her not calling for help, and she’s all 'dude I started that fight on purpose and could have ended it in a heartbeat if I wanted to’ and ugh he’s so uncomfortable about it and worried about the consequences and tells her he’s pulling the plug– but she calls him out bc they both know they’ll never get another shot at Devon if they stop now. Remember what I said about that understanding she and Weller have? This is a good example of that. He doesn’t concede, though, just compromises, because he’s still the boss and looking after his family is still his #1 priority, even above Sandstorm. And then aaahhh Zapata gets back to her cell and finds her bed on fire, and one inmate tells her she’s lucky that they waited til she wasn’t in it. Daaamn. I think my baby knows now that Weller was right. I bet she wishes she had him (or probably Jane instead, lbr) in here with her rn, someone she knows has her back, someone that would keep her from feeling afraid. Ugh my poor sweet baby is in over her heaaaaddd
Ugh Weller walks back into the bullpen and Jane immediately looks up from her screen and asks him how Zapata is doing. Sidenote though: do these guys not have allocated desks, because Weller’s team just seems to sit anywhere. Maybe they can do that bc they’re the elite lol, everyone else just gives up their spot at a single look from one of the Super Squad. It’s probably considered an honour. But also, what is on her screen rn?? It’s a picture of some kind of room, maybe a kitchen, bc it looks like there’s cabinets or something? Are there cameras in her safehouse and she’s watching over Roman? Surely not, right?? Ugh idk. But anyway Weller tells her that Zapata is as bullheaded as ever, and now hmmm, who does that remind me of lol? And ugh Jane stands but can only nod in response, and then when he heads for his office she takes a deep breath and follows. Oohhhhhhh boyyyyyy. It’s happening. Good luck, honey. And lol I love that Weller is very confused when he finds Jane silently following him into the office, but his first question is if she’s okay. I wonder if he thinks she’s coming to talk about ~them~, especially when she tells him there’s something she’s been meaning to talk to him about? But then ughhh she says it’s about Roman and she looks so terrified, standing there behind the chair, holding onto it like it could protect her and oh man her heart must be racing rn bc she knows how huge this is, and how easily it could destroy them, and ugh she’s so terrified to lose him but she can’t keep lying and so she just says it with tears in her eyes and ugh Weller looks like she just slapped him and she rushes to explain and to defend Roman but Weller is fixated on how long she’s known, how long she’s kept it from him. And ughhhh has it really already been a few weeks? Crap that really is bad. Dammit, Jane, you should have never let more than a few days go by. A few days to process is understandable. A few weeks must seem like deliberate deceit and ugh I can’t deal with the way his face crumples when she tells him that, like it’s almost the worst part of the whole thing and he physically steps back from her and holy shit Sully is killing it because I have actual tears in my eyes watching this scene (and he certainly has them in his) and ugh her voice is getting higher and faster as she desperately tries to explain, and he’s still so silent, reeling, until suddenly he just explodes and advances on her, accusing her of lying to him to protect Roman, to get him released from his cell, and she swears that it was HIM she was trying to protect and ugh she’s telling the truth (yes, she wanted to protect Roman, but I do believe she was trying to find a way to spare Weller this heartbreak too) and she tries to tell him that but he just turns away and she knows he won’t be able to believe it and ugh he tells her she has breached their trust 'as friends’ (mmmm-hmmmm, because that’s all they are) and ughhhh they’re both so close to crying as she apologises again and he tells her that she’s also cost them a lead they could have been following and ugh she tries to fix it by saying she’ll work with Roman and Dr Sun to bring out more details of who else is involved but maaan that was the wrong thing to say and he basically forbids her from doing any such thing and then kicks her out of his office and ughhhhh when he turns away he’s working so hard to hold back the tears and I’m headcanoning that he immediately finds something breakable and dispensable that he can destroy while Jane heads straight for the most deserted spot in the NYO (lbr she knows where all the hiding places are) and just sobs because she must feel like history is repeating and she’s lost him for good this time and she hates herself for doing what she did but she was torn in so many different directions– protecting Weller, protecting Roman, protecting herself– that it all just got away from her and then it was too late and ughhhhh my baby needs a huuuuggggg
Nawww Zapata’s sitting all alone– conveniently at the table closest to the door where people walk in with their meals– when Devon sits down with her and ugh I am kinda really hoping they actually become friends? And ugh I love that we get to hear Zapata talking with an accent again, and telling her fake backstory, but lol honey don’t lay it on too thick about not being a snitch and being loyal to your people and all that haha. And then dude why would you ask about the scar, you don’t wanna seem like you’re prying… but actually it doesn’t seem to matter, bc Devon is actually kinda more wide-eyed and innocent than I expected? Like she’s not all hardened-criminal, which is a surprise. She just admitted some pretty identifying details which I feel like most wouldn’t do. And ugh Liz walks in and Devon and Zapata look at each other like two little nerdy kids who know the bully is about to come for their lunch money and ugh I know they’re both way better in a fight than I am but I still just want to like pull them behind me and protect them lol
Oh dear. Patterson is having some computer troubles, and it turns out that one of her lil lackeys– Stuart– installed an OS update on half the computers, meaning that half are now pretty much useless for a day, which reaaaally pisses her off. Lucky Weller has just arrived, though, so he can defuse the situation before it turns into something unpleasant. Poor Stuart basically runs away, looking like he needs a change of pants. Poor guy. I like him. Hope the update was an honest error and not some sneaky Sandstorm thing. Ugh and then Patterson just launches into her spiel about the intel Zapata sent, not even noticing the crazy amount of tension that fills the room when Jane walks in. Ugh it hurts me how Jane hesitates, looking at Weller, as if she’s trying to figure out if she’s welcome or should leave. But he doesn’t make an indication for her to get out– just turns away– so the two of them just stand either side of Patterson and avoid looking at each other. Patterson’s found the owner of the gun range Devon used to work at, and they wonder if he is also the boyfriend– even though he’s like twenty years her senior. Surely not, though, because she’s just far too pretty to be with a grizzled old thing like him. I much prefer the thought that her boyfriend might be Sandstorm. Weller gives Patterson the order to have the guy brought in, then walks out without a word to Jane– and ugh the defeated look on her face as she turns to leave via the other exit hurts me. Meanwhile Patterson finally picks up on the weirdness– I mean, with just the three of them left of the team, it’s kinda hard not to notice when the two of them that are normally joined at the hip can barely look at one another…
Ugh they’ve brought the guy in but Weller is interrogating him alone. This is normally the exact kind of suspect he would want Jane there for, since dudes (well, everyone, but dudes in particular) tend to like opening up to her. And okay he’s not the boyfriend– he also mentions she was a teenager when she worked for him eight years ago?? Which means Devon is literally around my age at the very oldest, and possibly younger? Ugh this messes with my life view a little bit haha. But oooh he remembers her boyfriend– skinny, pale, cold blue eyes, hell of a shot– and for a moment I’m like ‘wait, Roman??????’ (Bc honestly that’s actually a pair I could get behind) but then nope, Weller shows him a picture of Parker and the guy confirms it’s him. Really?? Really??? Parker is so slimy and strange-looking and unlikable and Devon is so gorgeous and kickass and awesome?? I don’t agree with this match at all, but then again I will admit I am biased bc I’ve definitely got a girl-crush on Ronda and think she’s totally gorgeous so maybe I’m not the best judge. Ugh. Well, I guess if he makes her happy… also lol now Weller and Jane and Patterson are in the bullpen and Weller and Jane are standing waaay further apart than they normally would, and though Jane looks at him when she speaks, he refuses to look at her. Sigh, my babies. But anyway, now their initial plan has changed– instead of just getting to Devon, they need to use Devon to get to Parker. 
Zapata’s on it; offering her phone if Devon wants to call him. Naww, look at these two being buds now. But then oh shit Liz comes with her gang, and someone shanks Devon in the gut. I literally shouted 'noo!!’– and okay lol I think I am maybe a bit too attached to this random guest character. Damn girl-crush. But ughhh Zapata yelling for help is so heart-wrenching, ugh my baby. And then she calls the team later and ugh I love that Jane is using the phone call as an excuse to stand close to Weller (I understand honey, I’d take what I could get too) and lol I also love Patterson’s “Why would you do that?!?” when Zapata says she picked a fight with one of the other inmates. Weller wants to pull them both out but Zapata refuses, saying that will tip Devon off that something is going on, but he doesn’t care, he only wants his friend safe ugh. But omg Zapata’s like 'let me get her out another way’ and Patterson’s 'you mean, besides with permission??“ hahahaha. Yes, honey. That’s exactly what she means. And oooooh this means two of my fave shows are now coming together, because this is totally about to be a prison break woooo. And ugh "I’m not asking you for permission, I’m asking you for help’. Sigh, poor Weller. He’s really being put through hell by his angels today…
Ooooohhh Roman’s in the gym, being watched very closely by his detail (god I hope at least one of them isn’t straight so they can get some entertainment out of this) and oh boy Weller’s walkig in and removing his watch and his tie and uhhhhhhh buddy, the way you’re holding that tie looks a little like you’re about to strangle Roman with it, and you know that that’s a thing you really shouldn’t do, right?? Right??? But thankfully the tie goes away (the camera peeps probably just didn’t want it dangling in Luke’s face in the shot haha) and he offers to spot Roman, then a moment later tells him that Jane came to see him and told him the truth and Roman’s eyes just flicker a little bit like he knows some kind of punishment has to be coming and he’s okay with it. And then Weller pushes down on the bar, pressing it into Roman’s chest, and his detail are all like 'Sir??’ because their entire job is to protect Roman but what are they supposed to do when the person Roman needs protecting from is the boss that gave them the order in the first place?? And ugh Roman apologises and says he should have told him right away and ughhhh Weller asks if she suffered (lbr what kind of idiot would say yes to that) and ughhhhh this is so intense and then suddenly Weller lifts the bar up (ooohh, nice muscles) and puts it back on the rack thing before walking away– but Roman halts him, apologising and telling him he’s not that person anymore since Shepherd erased his memory– and oooh Weller did you just remember that you yourself have forced Jane to lie to someone she cares about?? Mmmm-hmmm, maybe you shouldn’t get too settled on your high horse, given that you were the one that convinced her lying to someone was okay for the right reasons… And then ugh Roman says he understands if he has to go back in the cell, but he asks him not to blame Jane, that she was just trying to do the right thing, and ughhhh I love this sibling bond. They care about each other so muuuuchhh and I believe Roman totally knows how she feels about Weller and just ugh. Weller is still all *angry face* tho and strides out and ugh why must the writers hurt us all like this
Back in the bullpen, Jane and Patterson are going over some details as Weller heads back towards his office, and since Jane can��t exactly say 'hey Patterson, can you call Weller over’ she just steels herself and calls out to him, only faltering slightly when he glares daggers in her direction, before stomping up there like a grumpy bear. Patterson can clearly see the tension now– like Jane actually seems to be legitimately afraid of him rn, which is all kinds of wrong and she knows that something has dfinitely happened. She rolls with it well though– doesn’t really have much other choice– and takes them through the escape plan. And ugh the fact that the infirmary is key to the escape and that they will get out the door by cutting the power is making me kind of emotional. And Weller snarks that there has to be a backup generator, and Jane answers that it’s old and takes a while to kick in. Duh, son, I mean they have been going right through this plan together while you were off terrorizing your future brother-in-law. And ugh just now was the first time he’s looked directly at her since they were in his office and ugh I’m emotional about ittttt
Lolllll Zapata has made a mini-taser from her flip phone and idk why but it’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Like yeah okay, show, I’ll just take your word for this one. I love that she just tases one guard and then is able to get Devon out. Good thing the girl wasn’t hard to convince. And loollll Weller’s doing a little more roleplay this week, this time as an electrician, getting all awkward as the guard literally stands over his shoulder. And lollll he starts to cough all over his flashlight and then asks the guard to hold it for him, brushing the cough off as nothing and probably not whooping cough like his kids have got. Well that’s what you would get for not vaccinating your fake-kids, fake-electrician Weller! His ploy works entertainingly well though (my boy ain’t dumb, though it seems like the guard is) and the guy all but runs away, leaving him to it. Patterson and Jane are out in a van nearby, and she tells him to look for a labelled switch. Except there’s none of either. Just wires. And they’re seriously running out of time, bc Zapata and Devon are already approaching the door. Patterson works some magic and Weller cuts the right wires– but the two ladies run into Liz and one of her lackeys (I love Patterson’s "This is very not ideal” and Jane’s “No, get to the fence” commentary as they watch on the monitor lol) and then ugh Zapata and Devon go full badass and have a huge showdown with the other inmates and daaamn I love watching kicakass women fight?? And they get out the door just before the power comes back on (man that was a quick three minutes) and are heading striaght for the live fence– but Jane has their backs. She’s outside the van with a massive gun, shooting the crap out of the backup generator just seconds before the two of them hit the fence. Ugh I’m so proud of her. The two are over and out in moments (shouldn’t there be guard towers or something tho?) and Zapata cleverly lets Devon drive, making her think she’s in charge. Weller and Jane follow in the van, listening into the women’s conversation over the comms as Zapata gently manoeuvres Devon into leading them to a Sandstorm hideout. I’m already so sad for the moment Devon finds out this was all a trap bc I really think she already considers Zapata a true friend and ugh I just really like her okay
And then ughhhh Weller starts to tell Jane about talking to Roman (Patterson has headed back to the NYO so they’re alone in the van) and Jane acknowledges his anger but asks him to direct it at her, not at Roman, and he almost laughs at that– ah the mayhem twins, each always trying to protect the other. He has a sister too; he can understand it. But he’s determined to be angry at both. She reminds him that, like her, Roman isn’t the same person he was before the zipping, and asks Weller to look past his previous mistakes the way he did with her. But uhhhh Jane, Weller isn’t in love with Roman. So the two situations can never be the same. Ugh but the way her voice breaks and she looks down as she begs him to give Roman another chance?? And ughhh the tears in his eyes when he tells her about losing Emma, losing the only other person who was as affected as he was by the loss of Taylor, how alone he felt, and now the realisation that she was killed because of her connection to him— that’s the real source of his anger. It’s pain, not only at Jane’s lies, but at the fact that he now has to live with Emma’s death on his conscience as well as Taylor’s. Jane quietly tells him she knows how that feels, because she does– and seriously writers, putting in that Mayfair flashback was super unnecessary. Trust me, none of us have forgotten. And hell, some of us are still holding onto hope of her being alive, so keep that traumatising junk to yourself. But ugh Jane comforts him an promises him that they’re going to get Shepherd, who he’s realising is the real person he should be angry at right now. And let’s not forget, he said himself just a week or two ago that Roman was merely a soldier following the orders of a monster. If he meant that then, he has to believe it now. I mean, I can totally see how hard it would be to focus all that pain on someone firmly out of your reach when a convenient scapegoat– two, in fact– are right there in front of you, but Weller’s not the same guy who arrested Jane that night without giving her a chance to explain or defend herself. He’s learned and grown, and this time instead of turning from her, he’ll turn to her, and together they’ll face down the real enemy. And hopefully with a little bit of making out along the way.
Uh oh, Devon’s bleeding is getting worse– though she insists she’s fine– and Zapata dials up the pressure, asking her how her boyfriend would feel if something happened to her and he could have prevented it. And Devon gives in, calling him and ugh when she says she’s being helped by a friend, Zapata looks away bc she totally feels guilty and ugh my babies I just want you to be BFFs okay?? Parker gives her a place to meet, and Weller gets Patterson to send a team there. Except then Devon pulls into a scrap metal yard and Zapata’s all ??? and Jane immediately tells Weller when the tracker goes off-course, who immediately knows that things aren’t good. They’re only two miles away, but that might still be too late… And then Zapata’s like 'oh shit’ bc Parker is meeting them there instead– Devon used a code when she mentioned that the car should be turned into scrap metal– and so she quickly puts the phone in her boobs, which all women know is the best place for phones to be kept safe. And ugh she knows that the moment she steps out of the car she might be shot and ugh I’m so worried for her, and also miffed that Parker gets to hug Devon like I bet this random actor guy is super excited about getting to play Ronda’s bf (grumble grumble) and ugh anyway Zapata gets out and Devon is all happy to introduce her friend but he’s just like “Special Agent Zapata” and lol I love that he uses her title?? He could have just said her name. I approve of him being respectful tho haha. But ugh then he pulls a gun on her, which is not very respectful, and Devon looks upset that Zapata tricked her (nooooo please still be friends) and Zapata fights back (nice shot to the balls there, girl. I strongly approve) but gets knocked out and ughhhh where are they taking her and what are they doing to her and ugh Jeller arrive too late and then Patterson directs them to where the phone last had a signal and ughhhh Parker is going to use Zapata to lure Weller and Devon looks so sad and ugh can we steal her like we did with Jane and Roman? She could totally be on our side… 
Uh oh. Patterson is trying to turn Zapata’s phone back on– and thus find her and possibly save her life– and her computers start glitching up again, and oh dear Stuart is right in the firing line, and ugh the poor guy didn’t know that they’re supposed to do a bugcheck before installing a new update and omg she literally grabs him and shoves him into a wall and in a way it’s almost comical bc he’s like a lot taller than she is but it’s also super sad bc she’s convinced he’s working for Sandstorm or something and when she’s all “WHO DO YOU WORK FOR??” (Ask him three times, honey, then he’ll have no choice but to tell you the truth) and he says “I work for you! I’m sorry!” and ughhh he’s such a terrified lil puppy and everyone else is watching in shock and then she suddenly realises what she’s doing and legit bails from the room?? Like uh honey your team does still need you…? And then Weller tries to contact her, and who takes the reins but Stuart, telling him that Patterson had to step away (such loyalty ugh) but that Zapata’s phone came back on and he sends them the blueprints of the place. Atta boy Stuart! And Jane shows Weller the blueprints and he tells her that when the team arrives he wants her to take half and enter via the walkway to the second floor, and he’ll take the other half via the front. She’s surprised, questioning whether they shouldn’t just go in together like usual, but he shakes his head and tells her that she’s the only one he trusts out there, and ugh he looks her in the eye as he says it and she’s the one that has to look away bc she doesn’t feel deserving of it after what she did and ughhhh save me from this helllllll
Ugh they get to the location and Weller sees the blood in the trunk and ugh he must be so worried for her and he and Jane both immediately split up and take command of their individual teams– I looooove seeing trained FBI agents follow Jane’s command ugh, and she even seems to know at least some of them by name ugh– and Weller reminds his team to take all suspects alive and ughhhh this is so totally a trap and I’m worried. And then omg Zapata screams Weller’s name and god it just makes your heart stop. But she’s okay; she’s just tied to a chair on a tiny little platform– but unfortunately one rigged with explosives. She tells him she doesn’t know where Parker and Devon went, but she sees movement just in time to warn him, and he takes cover as Devon shoots at him. I appreciate that she doesn’t shoot Zapata. Weller pulls some kind of big rolling metal thing to shield both himself and Zapata, and Jane reaches the upper level just in time to draw the baddies’ fire. Trusting her to take care of it, Weller leaves his cover and drags a fridge over to switch out for Zapata– this guy has totally watched a lot of Indiana Jones, hasn’t he. And loooolll she’s almost offended, like 'you think I weigh as much as a fridge???’ and he snarks back that there’s no minifridge around so it’ll have to do haha. And ugh when he tells her his plan– one that could easily get him killed right along with her, she just smiles at him with kinda teary eyes and for once doesn’t argue or give him any crap. She just trusts him, because he’s her family and she knows he’ll do whatever it takes to save her. And Indy would be proud, because the plan works, and they both get to safety. And haha Zapata: 'okay, I guess I weigh as much as a fridge’ hahaha. Well if it’s any consolation, it looked like a really light fridge??
Jane’s lil buddy is going head-to-head with Parker, so Jane takes on Devon, and daaaamn yet another badass lady fight. But it’s an unfair one, bc Jane can’t– won’t– kill her. She manages to pull Devon up as a shield right at the moment Parker shoots, getting Devon in the shoulder, distracting Parker long enough for Weller to get there and take him down. And now they’ve got them both, and ugh I love that Jane is almost hugging Devon, keeping pressure on her wound and preventing her from escaping. Can they become friends too? Devon seemed to know Remi’s name when Parker mentioned it earlier; I wonder if they knew each other before? Would she follow Jane now, like she would have followed Remi then?? Look I just love Devon okay???  
Oooh Weller vs Parker in the interview room. Also I am totally digging Weller’s open collar here?Ugh he just looks so cool and in control and that tension he’s been carrying seems to have eased a bit because they are finally getting somewhere, finally in a position to really take Shepherd down and ugh I am so happy for him. But ugh clearly Zapata doesn’t feel the same; she has no time to wait Parker out, she literally wants to torture it out of him right now. Woah, woman, where’s this coming from?? What has made her suddenly so determined to take down Sandstorm asap? Was it the fact that she nearly died today, bc that happens literally almost every day, so…? I mean she is super angry rn and ready to do just about anything to get Shepherd. Maybe the writers just did it this way just so we can see how steady Weller is now, and how much he’s grown and no longer has that temper he used to? But woahhh Zapata is really getting heated and won’t listen when he says no. Oooh maybe it was the fact that Shepherd’s people are now trying to kill him too?? She’s already without Reade, maybe she can’t face the thought of losing another family member. But ugh poor Weller is confused by all this rage coming from her and he keeps trying to get her to rein it in and ugh poor guy must feel like he’s fighting a losing battle just to keep his team afloat– like Reade is already on the bench and Patterson is burning out and now Zapata is losing it too?? And he can’t turn to Jane right now because he’s just pushed her away– and has to deal with his own feelings in regards to that– and ugh seriously man I think you just need to accept that everything’s going to hell and you need Jane by your side in order to get through this… 
Speaking of Patterson and her issues, she’s talking with Dr Sun (still feel like his is a bad idea) about the way she snapped in the lab, and Dr Sun is asking of she trusts herself and ugh my baby admits she is always second-guessing herself now and ugh she’s crying because she had no closure with the whole Borden thing and ughhhhhh I am so upset for my precious baby like seriously can Weller just call all his girls together and just all have a really big, really long group hug bc ugh all four of them need it really bad
Oh boy. The locker room. Jeller scenes in this room are always a source of either great joy or great pain and I feel like it’s definitely not going to be the former. I can dream though, right? Maybe he’s decided that despite everything he needs her, and maybe they’ll hug??? Right??? Ugh. But I’m curious as to what Jane is searching for in her pockets? Probably just one of those acting things where they have to look like they’re doing something all the time. And then ugh Weller is there and ugh he just stares at her back for a moment and then walks up to her all slow and takes a deep breath like he’s working himself up to it and then his voice is quiet and almost a little thick as he asks her for a raincheck on that dinner and omg this moment is already killing me bc firstly he didn’t have to ask. He could have just said that the dinner wasn’t happening anymore and walked away– or even said nothing at all, and she would have still known better than to try to show up. And then there’s the fact that he said 'raincheck’ which everyone knows means 'reschedule for another time’– like does this mean that the dinner will eventually happen? Tbh it’s really not feeling like a 'I rescind my invitation forever’ and more 'I can’t deal with everything right now but someday I’ll be ready to pick up where we left off’ and ughhhh my baby boy. Jane is all 'uh, yeah, of course’ because lbr she already assumed his invitation had been voided by what she’d done… like literally this conversation doesn’t even need to be happening rn bc the understanding was clear enough that things aren’t the same as they were this morning, but they’re having it anyway and I am 100% certain because there’s more Weller needs to tell her. And then ugh he says her name and steps closer and she looks up at him all wide-eyed like she’s half afraid his next words will be something like 'I’m arresting Roman’ etc, but she also somehow knows that that’s not gonna be it bc she can hear the vulnerability in his voice and ughhhhh he tells her he knows Roman isn’t the person he was before, just like she isn’t, but he can’t just flip a switch and get over this discovery. And it’s strange but it almost feels like he’s apologising to her for being torn up about it, for letting it get in between them? But of course she’s understanding, because she’s Jane and she loves him more than anything, and ugh she tells him she wishes she could change the past and that she would do a lot of things differently and you just know that the list of things she would change and the list of ways that she has hurt him are pretty much one and the same. And ugh he agrees that he would do things differently too, and man I hope that Jane understands– as we do– that he means arresting her and letting the CIA take her, not that he would change the connection between them or how he feels about her. And ugh he says goodnight and walks out and ughhh her whispered 'goodnight kurt’ and the way she’s like clutching her jacket against herself is just so upsetting and she blinks a few times like she’s trying not to cry and ughhhh why must they go through such paaaaaiiinnnnn
Oooh Zapata has gone to Reade’s, and aww he apologises for not having 'anything stronger’– he must have gotten rid of all the alcohol in the apartment and be really cleaning himself up and ugh I’m so prouddd. And she’s there to vent about work and says she doesn’t have anyone else to talk to (c’mon now, Jane would listen– though then again Zapata knows that Jane would side with Weller on this particular issue) and ugh when Reade tells her she has Weller, she sasses that no one can really talk to Weller– except Jane. Ughhh, they really all do see it. They all know. But I feel like she’s being a bit unfair to Weller– he is actually working really hard to support the team, and would never turn any of them away if they needed to talk. I appreciate that Reade pretty much says the same, but that just starts Zapata on her little tirade about how they’re being held back by dumb things like laws and moral codes and should be fighting dirty instead, and oh boyyy this will end up nowhere good…
Aw, Jane comes home with pizza as Roman is preparing a salad to go with it, and I love that they must have discussed this earlier given that it’s clear she’s only just gotten home from the office. So domestic. And ugh she says how Weller mentioned talking to him and she tries to assure him he’ll come around and ugh Roman doesn’t seem angry but he’s still not very happy either as he says 'I’ll take your word for it’ and ugh I wonder if his chest is bruised from that bar? I wonder how Jane would react if she saw it? I think she’d be upset but he’d be all 'this is how men sort out their problems sis’ and she’d kinda reluctantly accept it, knowing Weller could have done faaaar worse things to him and chose not to. Also sidenote, I never realised that her bedroom opens right up onto the kitchen?? That’s kind of weird. And the doorway is really wide– is there even an actual door on it? That doesn’t feel very private. How are she and Weller meant to have sneaky makeout sessions?? But anyhow Roman cuts his finger– surprising for someone who we know is very skilled with knives– and ugh she goes straight into protective big sister mode and literally goes to fetch a first aid kit. I would have been like 'eh there’s a band-aid in the drawer somewhere if you need it’ lol. But aaaahhhh her attentiveness ends up being her undoing– initially he’s smiling down at her, obviously enjoying that someone cares enough to fuss over him– but then the flashbacks kick in, taking him back to when she was patching him up before Zipping him, and oooohhhhh noooooooooo. This is very not good. And then ugh he confronts her about lying to him and being the Zipper and ughhhh she’s backing away from him slightly and trying desperately to get him to listen to her but oh no Shouty Angry Roman is back and then he grabs the knife and holy shit????? Like okay yes we know he wont kill or even significantly injure Jane, but seriously what the hell happens now?? Like does she take him down and have to bring him in?? Or does he escape and she’s left there to call Weller and ughhhh imagine how devastated she is going to be either way and ugh please let Weller see past his own hurt and be able to comfort her because ugh my baby has just lost one man she loves and she needs the other more than ever rn ughhhhhhhhhhhhh
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