#To show my progress and also cause sometimes people like the stuff I don't think is very good

[rosie-lav-art]

Various sketches and doodles from today :]

The comic I plan on making this year is kind of an ambitious project for me, so I'm trying to push myself to try new things as often as possible.

I hope yall enjoy seeing the beginning of this stuff, I know it's not perfect but I can only get better!

#rosie draws #doodles #oc art #traditional art #The Anime girl will be the MC for the in universe anime in JL and The Mall #Her name is Starlight Starbright and she's a magical girl #JL watched Star Princess Adventures as a kid and it's his comfort series as an adult #She's why he wears bright red eyeliner all the time #I'm still not satisfied with JL's design and I'm just continuing to draw him slightly differently trying to get it #That's the main thing stopping me from beginning the actual comic lol #Kinda need an easily replicatable MC design for my comic haha #Also I wanna get into the habit of posting stuff that's not totally finished or I'm not totally happy with #To show my progress and also cause sometimes people like the stuff I don't think is very good

[xxlovelynovaxx]

Hm, that's funny, because higher voter turnout has occurred in every election that a democratic president has won since 1980, and notably Reagan and Bush JR were both elected during SIGNIFICANTLY lower voter turnout years. Sometimes it's as little as a difference of two percent of the population, but that's still roughly six and a half MILLION people.

So yes, your vote DOES matter, and I'll remind you that we have actual hard evidence of people trying to discourage voter turnout on tumblr in order to influence election results in the direction of fascism.

I don't think that is what OP is doing. I think they're a depressed doomer who is reactionarily trying to make others feel as hopeless as they do to feel less alone.

I'll also say: collective anarchist action is effective. The jab at "oh, if we could do anything, we would be," totally ignores the leaps and strides we've made precisely due to protests, strikes, and smaller community action.

Whether we're talking about the progress we've made on climate change, the multiple large strikes that were won last year alone, or even just stuff like vulnerable community members surviving another year due to communities coming together to provide meals, housing, and mutual aid... all of that matters.

Pretending it doesn't, or that it hasn't happened, unintentionally hinders the anarchist cause at best. Doomerism is a cancer within leftist communities that left unchecked will effectively kill our communities. And like I said, I don't THINK this is a psy-op, but I'd suggest that if you wanna do the feds' work for them it's kinda pathetic that you're not even getting paid for it.

I understand voting feeling hopeless. Truly I do. I'm a plural mad queer crip and am fighting multiple structural institutions actively and passively trying to kill me on several different fronts.

I'd still rather have a part content to ignore and occasionally give lip service to my existence than one that actively has plans to kill and subjugate myself and my entire communities. So I'll fucking vote.

(And y'know, let's work on getting ranked choice ballots in the meantime. Because polls of people's actual goddamn opinions show we have a lot more allies than your hopelessness is telling you we do, even if many of them still need handheld into true leftism.)

[im-a-hoping-beetch]

In all honesty, idk what happened with the fandom recently for it to suddenly shit out a ton of crappy takes in ATLA most especially for Zutara. I often find myself defending Zutara because a lot of its antis say the most racist and sexist stuff against it. I'm not even a Zutara fan! I'm a rareshipper.

Can't just antis simply say they don't like Zutara and move on to enjoying their own ships instead? No more stupid holier art thou morality takes that just backfire on their faces.

If they want discourse, then use canon material NOT HEADCANONS, FANONS, OR FANFICS as "evidence" to back up their takes. Antis that do that makes my head spin in exasperation. Then you point that out they start whining how you hurt their feelibgs and get all offended as a "minority".

Actually, let's focus on that last bit. It's pretty rancid too how sometimes they pretend to be part of the "minority" so they can use it as a shield for themselves when their bad behavior gets called out. In fact, this tactic hurts the actual minorities who have valid concerns about Zutara. They get drowned out by all the insanity toxic shippers say and get lumped in with them.

Well, with the new live-action coming, there has obviously, been a revival, making the fandom way much more active. Which leads to people having more time to pay attention to the show and all its intricacies.

This is where ship wars come into play. And in all honesty, atla’s ship wars have definitely left a legacy in a way I don’t think we’ll have to ever witness. With the creators perpetuous jabs at zutara solidifying antis need to hate on it and the fans, fuelling the whole thing to another level. To this day whenever something avatar related gets announced or released you start to see a revival of a not so dead ship war. And while they (probably, not sure) aren’t as brutal as they used to be, they have took another turn, with this faux-progressivism being used to fear monger zutara shippers as well as casual listeners about the ship’s legitimacy. I recommend @i-d-e-g-a-f ‘s post about it to get more insight.

On my part, if I were to pin point the moment where this faux- progressivism started taking space in a lot of anti-zutara takes, I’d say that the atla renaissance isn’t innocent for this phenomenon happening. You need to understand the context in which atla’s release on Netflix took place in. One where the blm movement took the entire world by storm. Resulting in people not having the reservations they’ve probably had in the past when it came to talking about racial issues. This was followed by the emergence of numerous movements involving similar cases (not identical, tho). As well as media and the people consuming said media being ready to offer commentary on and call out harmful depictions of racial minorities as well as the rethorics they carried.

Suddenly, anyone and everyone could offer their piece of mind on harm being caused to racial minorities. And while good, it also came with its downside.

When you take into account this context, I think it exacerbated the already existing phenomenon of people saying things in order to put on this front of being good and virtuous, yet failing or simply not wanting to realize how these things are perpetuating the very harm they claim they want to undo. You know, people perceiving and claiming zutara to be a colonized-colonizer ship. As well as comparing katara to Pocahontas, when talking about these two. Which, if these people actually cared about progress, they would know how incredibly racist and sexist it is to make that comparison.

When it comes to antis obsession with hating on zutara, I think it stems from a certain insecurity. You gotta understand that unlike any other non-canon ship, zutara could’ve legitimately been canon. It was constantly talked about in the writers room, many of the team members seriously considering it (head writers, voice actors etc..) Hence why, the creators felt the need to throw numerous jabs (ie. the ember island play, (2008) comic-con) at the ship and more specifically, its fans. Since they themselves were insecure. @burst-of-iridescent perfectly explains it in this post.

#zutara #zuko #katara #anti kataang #anti bryke #atla fandom critical #atla #avatar the last airbender

[switchcase]

i saw ppl discoursing abt whether or not "RAMCOA" is an okay term to use bc it was formulated off ideas created during the satanic panic and its like??? alexander graham bell was a hardcore eugenicist and we still use phones, sometimes bad people do useful things.

I mean lol RAMCOA is a much newer term, if they really wanted to be mad at that they would look at SRA, not that the term has been relevant in decades. This abuse type has had a handful of different names since SRA, all explicitly to move away from the satanic part. And to be HONEST I have talked about the causes and reasons for satanic panic existing, it makes sense people were worried about something big going on and it makes sense that therapists were trying to address it. Like are they actually upset that therapists saw their clients talking about this type of abuse and Believed their clients? I would rather therapists be loudly wrong a thousand times than have them openly telling people that their trauma or their memories didn't happen because it hasn't been thoroughly proven (keep in mind during satanic panic there were actual court cases going on, some of which were won, and it was on the news, so there was quite a lot indicating that satanic panic was literally real if you were living at that period in time). It's also very important to note that therapists pretty quickly figured out that some of the stuff they were hearing wasn't actually possible or was very unlikely and very quickly started talking about and researching why these memories were showing up. It's THE reason we have the therapist guidelines we do now on trauma in general and why we know that trauma memories aren't 100% accurate.

But as I've said before I think language changes are often just moving the goalpost without actually addressing the issue. It's one thing to change wording when the wording is actively harming someone, but otherwise all you're doing is avoiding the problem. Eg with homeless vs houseless, nobody's actually addressed WHY they look down on homeless people or worked to have homeless people be viewed equally, they just changed the word and assumed that makes them inherently progressive when they're still saying the same classist shit. "Oh I don't give houseless people money cause they'll use it for drugs" is still an awful sentence. And as I've said there's been multiple name iterations for this abuse type over the years, all to move away from satanic panic. And has it worked? If they're still arguing about it today then obviously not. The fact is that the average white westerners' primary idea of organized abuse is from horror media that depict cults (often satanic but not always). If you want it to be so people aren't getting told their abuse is the same as satanic panic, you have to address the problem which is that white westerners are incredibly ignorant of the relatively common abuses that exist elsewhere in the world and less commonly on their own soil, and that many white westerners' frame of reference for Everything is fictional media. Me personally I can't be fucked to handhold white people through that because I frankly don't give a damn what they think of my abuse history. My history is corroborated and with a paper trail. They can do it though if they really need random strangers' approval and belief.

#like I'll be 100% honest with you lmfao a lot of those satanic panic cases sound more reasonable and plausible #than every other account on here talking about how they have programming #I wouldn't be so quick to open my mouth if I were them lmfao #ask #anonymous #anyway I use RAMCOA and OEA interchangably. I use RAMCOA more though because I changed my language enough times already #and also I frequently misspell OEA as OEM. Hashtag IT problems

[connyscomics]

Rain by Jocelyn C. DiDomenick 😺

Trans rep: 10/10

General enjoyment: 9/10

Age rating: 10+

Okay so I finally finished this one and... OHMYGODIMINLOVE. Rain is a webcomic with over 40 chapters (7 print volumes I think) and is seriously one of the best comics I've ever read. I could go on an on about all of the things I love about this one, but for yall's sanity as well as my own, I'm just going to talk about a couple things. Oh and a quick plot description: The comic follows a trans girl named rain as she attends a religious high school and meets other queer people. A lot of stuff happens in the many chapters of this comic, and it variously touches on pretty much everything that one might encounter as a young queer person, both positive and negative.

Okay, so the first highlight for me is the main character herself. I really like her character and as a young trans person navigating being transfem in high school I really connected with a lot of her story. In particular I appreciated the representation of a character who is mostly cis-passing BUT has to go to great lengths to make this happen (at least from the not-so-supportive people in her life). I feel like with trans rep you either get like people who have an uncharacteristically easy time passing or you have people who are portrayed as like a grotesque caricature of trans people (not to say that non-passing trans women are gross or that passing is needs the goal for everyone, but the visual of the like hyper-masculine figure with messy makeup and a dress isn't usually benign). Anyways, Rain is a great main character.

Another character I want to talk about is Ky/Kylie, they are genderfluid and in my opinion done really well. I honestly related to their character a lot because even though I'm technically not genderfluid, I have very fluid desires as far as presenting. I Ky/Kylie starts out not really understanding their own identity and just being like "idk I'm a girl but sometimes I dress up like a guy" and then as the story progresses becomes more confident in their identity as a genderfluid person. The story also considers the struggles of dating for genderfluid people, with a love interest liking them more for one gender identity than another but eventually growing to understand that he can't pick and choose which gender identity he wants Ky/Kylie to have at any moment.

I should probably wrap this up before I start going into every character I love. In general, what makes this story so great is that there is a character for pretty much anyone to connect with (yes, even cishet allies), and all of the characters are done pretty well. I do have a couple minor considerations though. First, the author changed a lot as a person while writing this (I mean she started writing in 2010 and finished literally this year) so the beginning of the comic is definitely a bit outdated with some of its narratives. Though, I think it ends up working out because it generally reads as the characters learning and developing as people, which is something that comics don't always show because of a fear of saying things that are now seen as insensitive. The only other thing is that there are kind a disproportionate number of queer people in Rains community, which at times feels a bit unrealistic given that shes literally at a catholic school, but honestly I can't complain that much cause all of the characters are so much fun!!! Sorry for the extra long review yall, I just had so much to say about this one! 😺

#rain #rain comic #comic review #comics #media review #trans #transgender #transfem #transmasc #genderfluid #queer #queer comics #lesbians #gay #jocelyn c. DiDomenick #connyscomics #trans comics

[lains-reality]

hi lain! i love your blog and the way you answer questions! Thank you for taking out the time to do all this work. I sort of wanted to share my journey and ask a manifestation (SORRY I KNOW) related question.

Where i am at+ backstory:

i find it easy to reduce my thoughts to nothing. I won't say that i have no thoughts at all time but I have honestly stopped suffering on a daily basis, coming from a background of chronic robotic affirming. My mind would run wild with the amount of thoughts/affirmations i had everyday.

And guess what? sometimes i was only able to manifest certain things but like the things that would change my life drastically, i didn't. (I realised that any kind of change scares me, even if it is for my highest self) Strict parents never raised me to be independent, i struggled a lot as an adult.

I realise that was Vanessa's doing as i let fear control me, to the point that i find making big life decisions SO scary, i don't take them at all. I think there's a term for it. "perfection paralysis" I am still holding on to vanessa at some point and i realise that. I see her but i don't identify with it. I am leaving poor vanessa alone.

I am still learning and practicing everyday. But i love that i am able to do this with your and sophie's help. I even love 4Dkelly's input! So thank you!! You guys taught me what living with bliss looks like. It's so peaceful and i am eternally grateful.

Coming to my "manifestation question"+ Vanessa's belief:

Before the void was a thing on here, i knew about it cause a family member of mine is into meditating and had described the void without calling it the void of course. I found it super fascinating and then i came across the void on tumblr and i think vanessa just found it to be scary considering she could be exactly what she wants to be. (That would mean giving up where she is now, even though it serves "I" my highest self NOTHING) Also i do realise that desires are never ending, i see it and i let it go.

(whatever i might be attached to (still), i try to let go)

Anyway i see a lot of people choosing the dreams that they want to see. I have been able to do the same with things here and there like how i want people to treat me. How i want my day to go. I feel utmost bliss as with no effort, i am aware of the dream i want to dream.

Anons come back and share their dreams, they don't think of their desires as desires. They simply become aware of it, like the anon that changed her face twice in minutes, the anon that healed their skin/got rid scars. I find Vanessa butting in and thinking I want to apply what i know and be able to do something "big" (if you know what i mean).

when it comes to people, Vanessa doesn't bother me at all, cause like sophie, I find it extremely easy, becoming aware of how i want people to show up for me and they do. No ego, nothing.

ACTUAL QUESTION:

how do i apply the knowledge i know to enter a meditative state which is nicknamed the void on here? like when it comes to people or my day, i know what to do. And i also know, the process is the same for everything but i find myself stuck here. I know i am never stuck. I know i can never lack and everything is mine/me. I realise, i am that i am. I just don't know what to do.

My highest self wants to experience/be aware of this meditative state. I had this inkling even when i didn't know people used it to manifest stuff.

I remember an anon wanting to go the void and they did; they had asked barbie for advice, they even mentioned how they'll be going back in time now that they had entered the void. (My dream is very similar to theirs)

I'd appreciate your advice so SO much.

I AM EXTREMELY SORRY FOR MAKING THIS SO LONG. I very much appreciate your time and advice. I hope i can come out of this loop (stop dreaming the dream i don't want to dream anymore) and tell you ALL about it!!!!!

Hope you are having a great day!! Sending so much love your way and so much gratitude cause the progress i have made already wouldn't be without your, sophie's and barbie's hard work. So thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!

i already have answered a question on void state.

for dreaming another dream, here's a post on how to stop.

the highest self you speak of is just ego. Self doesn't desire. why would Self need to experience some special effects (the void) to know it's Self??

thanks for sharing your experience! you're lovely anon! but use the search function and follow the only rule this blog has!

#lainsmail #just let it go? who said you have to go into the void #give up the desire and move on to something you LOVE

[liberty-barnes]

went down a rabbithole of discourse to see what people mean when they say they don't like the wedding and well

let me ask you this:

do you not the like this plotline because it's "poor writing" (even though it was literally planned from the start, ie rafael knowing) or you do not like it because it shows that carlos isn't a saint with minimal, "cute" flaws, here to help tk get better?

do you not like iris or are you villainising her because she's "getting in the way of your ship" and doesn’t act in a neurotypical way, or in what you're "used to" seeing from neurodivergent characters?

really think about these cause i think you might figure some things out.

now i haven't made it a secret that i'm liking this plotline, but i'm not just gonna call out one side without explaining mine, that would just be unfair, so here are my full thoughts now that ep2 is out

i love this plotline because it's an opportunity to delve into carlos' character development, which when compared to tk, we haven't had much. like sure, they've been a couple and stuff but apart from the jealousy with connor and the issue with his parents, what have we really learned about carlos? compared to all the development we've had from tk, carlos at times felt very much like a tool for tk to move forward, because the character himself still had such limited growth opportunities

now the marriage plotline is his time to shine. i recently reblogged a post where it was mentioned that tk came full circle in the first 3 seasons, starting with a failed proposal and ending with a successful one, so i think that tk at this point is okay to take a secondary, and just overall less dramatic approach to his character development. because we've seen him go through the big things. now it's carlos' turn to do like a pokemon and evolve.

we get to see the full scope of his anxiety, internalised homophobia, and saviour complex.

it's already a huge step that he talked to tk about it before he took care of the divorce. people with anxiety disorders (it's me hi i'm people) can tell you that bringing up a problem without having a solution is next to inconceivable. we feel like we always need to have solutions for our problems and if we don't, then people can't know about them. so the fact that carlos trusted tk enough to tell him (albeit after being "forced" to by andrea) tells you a lot about just how much he cares. and we also got the opportunity of seeing tk's growth because he didn't take it personally, didn't think this was against him, he understood that this was carlos' own problems and just like carlos helped him deal with his issues, tk's gonna help him deal with this.

it also shows just how far carlos' internalised homophobia went, and shows that even though most of it wasn't on screen, he's done amazing progress. the conversation on the couch is a testament to that growth, to him realising he wasn't broken at all. it's also a great way to show internalised homophobia, because it's something that most queer people go through, especially at the beginning, and i think it's beautiful to show that no matter how much time passes or how many mistakes you make, the important part of it is that you found yourself, the rest can be taken care of later.

and of course, his saviour complex. we saw it when he let the bank robber go, we saw it when he broke down because he felt like he failed tk by not having enough fire extinguishers to protect him, and we see it now by him staying married to iris for the health insurance. abd not going to see her because in some way, he feels like he failed her. maybe he should have noticed her illness sooner, or he should have been there with michelle from the start, but he didn't know what to do or what to say so he just didn't go. which again, if you have an anxiety disorder, you can relate. sometimes when things feel too hard or we don't have a set plan for everything that's gonna happen, or we make it harder than it is in our minds, we just don't go. speaking from experience, i ghosted my therapist for a year cause i forgot to call in sick for one appointment and thought she would judge me so i didn't go back. that's just how much anxiety can affect you, and for carlos, this is his "monster", this marriage is the thing that he desperately wants to fix but doesn't know how, finds too complicated, so he's stuck where he is because he's just not able to fix it.

and it's amazing to see how much tk gives him strength, the trust they share, and how carlos found his motivation in tk. that's love and from one anxious person to another, i'm really proud of carlos

now as for iris, i love her, i really do. she shows a mental illness that we don't always see, and normalises the fact that even after being medicated, neurodivergent people aren’t just suddenly gonna be "fixed". she's saner with her medication but we see how she finds it hard to communicate because her brain just works differently. when can see during her talk of an annulment, she thought she was being obvious the whole time, and it was only after tk asked for an explanation that she realised she needed to express this better. she doesn't mean her questions maliciously (ie carlos warning tk beforehand and being ready to step in if it got too much while also trusting that his fiancé can hold his own), she just has questions and asks them. she asks them because she's curious, because she's worried about carlos, because she wants to know more about tk. she doesn't have that little voice in her head telling her that her questions can be taken the wrong way.

and the part everyone's mad about, with her calling tk carlos' life's work. she didn't say it to insult tk, she didn't say it because she thinks he doesn't deserve carlos, she said it because in her mind it proves how perfect they are for each other. "always needs a project" + "can be his life's work" = soulmates. and idk if i understood that because i'm neurodivergent or because whatever else, but it made sense in my brain, i get her.

and ofc, it's a great opening to show off tarlos' ability to communicate with each other and both their individual and joint growth.

now for the fact that they can't get an annulment, i'm honestly not sure that was the plan at all, it might have been brought in just for the symbolism and after realising they can't do it, they'll have to stick with divorce. i don't know, i'm hapoy to let the writers surprise me and then pick apart and analyse the story as it comes.

and for the fact that iris is now missing, again, don't have many thoughts about it right now other than i think she went looking for the woman at the care center that she talked about when tk first got there, bc that comment felt too pointed not to become a plot point. but again, i'll hold any thoughts until after the episode air.

i see so many people getting stuck on what could happen, and what was "seen coming" etc, but honestly, just trust the writers. we know it will end in a wedding, ronen and rafael trust the writers fully, and that's good enough for me you know. i'm not gonna stress about what "could happen" in a tv show, i do that enough irl. i'm just gonna enjoy the ride.

so yeah that was me

#libby rants #911 lone star #iris blake #tk strand #carlos reyes #tarlos #lone star meta #carlos reyes meta #tk strand meta #iris blake meta #lone star season 4 #911 lone star meta #lone star 4×02 #lone star 4×01

[warwithoutreason]

amaristm -> road-boy -> warwithoutreason

woah introduction real. long post sorrey

hello my name is lane or juno. he/it/Several neopronouns. i'm a gay lad just click this [ <- pronouns.page link ] for more information

if you feel like learning more click the wonderful keep reading button. warning for flashing stuff down the very bottom of this post

uh im australian [ as in the white boy variety. not aboriginal ] and use the fucking aest/aedt timezone [ i have No Clue which one it is rn man ]

getting it out of the way up here since i think it's one of the first things most people look for in a description but i don't have a dni because hey who's gonna follow that. however, if i look at your blog and you're marked as a transphobe on shinigami eyes or generally you're bigoted i am going to block you. or if i just don't like you i will block you. homophobes transphobes terfs aphobes racists and ableists go fuck yourselves <3

the theme used on my blog is by @/ricecodes. profile picture by @/lovelyshiz :3

i use [ square brackets ] instead of (parenthesis) because it is fun. for some reason ive decided to space them out in this post i dont know why but i dont normally do that

i have awful humour [ deez nuts ur mom etc etc. sometimes ironic homophobia. EMPHASIS ON IRONIC i am gay myself i don't have anything against queer people ] and i have a grudge against using proper grammar. sometimes i use tone indicators. i also swear a lot

there might be nsfw on this blog but it'll all be textpost jokes 👍

i call people man and dude and bro a lot just know that i mean it in a completely gender neutral way. if you don't like something i say about you [ in terms of calling you bro or something that might cause a bad gender time ] Please tell me and i'll stop doing that

i have too many interests but heres some of em [ key: Very Interested, i like this a normal amount, not very into it atm, i appreciate this but wouldn't consider myself a proper 'fan' ]

my ocs [ though everything i post about them when i do like once per year will probably be incomprehensible ]

corru.observer [ Play it. play it. i fucking love corru observer it is in your web browser quick easy and free. pley it plase /nf ]

ultrakill

just. generally. chonny jash's music

the kirby series [ mainly rtdl, robobot, star allies and katfl. also the anime a bit? ]

scp: find us alive

the upturned

17776 / 20020

undertale

deltarune

omori

mob psycho 100

generation loss

half life vr but the ai is self aware

the magnus archives [ not finished yet, though ! i'm at like season 3 ]

project sekai [ + vocaloids in general ]

the process of elimination [ by disfixdog/hypertextdog. read it now. shameless advertising. it's awesome ]

no follow [ by shishka. VERY fun browser game ]

only murders in the building

detroit become human

demonvn / demon detangled [ by gertritude. its still in progress i think ]

the mandela catalogue

spiderman: itsv + atsv

heathers

the stanley parable

portal 1 + 2

ai builds

ace attorney [ the first stuff, i stopped when apollo justice showed up lol ]

serial experiments lain

off

ride the cyclone

yume nikki

faith: the unholy trinity

neon white

grab a snack at 4 am

regretevator

lego monkie kid

i sometimes do picrew chains and uquizzes and stuff, as well as occasionally gettin up to shenanigans with mutuals

occasionally i post art [ usually of my silly ocs ] under the tag #roadboy art. i don't think i've done this in like a year now. don't take any of the art in the tag as a representation of my art style ive changed it a lot

^ @/b0nkcreat ^

^ https://corru.observer ^

^ https://shishka.neocities.org/nofollow ^

^ https://disfixdog.neocities.org ^

^ @/aropride ^

^ https://spiritcellar.neocities.org ^

^ made by me messing around on blinkies.cafe ^

^ made by my friend astrid ^__^ it screams because it does not know how to communicate its feelings ^

#i am adding one [1] tag to this post so tumblr can stop asking me if i want to add tags every time i save a change to this

[packagingcontainer]

Venting about Ishimiko (Kaguya-sama)

You know, I was writing this as a reply in reddit then I realized that they don't want to read this. I don't think anyone wants to read this (sorry for using the tag, but I also don't want to be yelling at an empty abyss either). As I was writing the reddit reply, I realized I finally put into words how I feel about Ishimiko in the Kaguya-sama love is war manga. And I literally have nowhere to share it, so I recreated my tumblr account.

Warning because there are massive Kaguya-sama spoilers and this is also not going to be a positive post at all. So if you read it and don't like it, you have only yourself to blame for reading it. -- I don't know.

If there's something I've learned from the short story and the new werewolf game novel, it's that I don't really want more Ishimiko. I don't want to see more explanations of what they think. I don't want to learn more about them. Frankly, I know more than enough. Sometimes I wonder if I know more about it than Aka.

I seriously just wanted them to close lips. Heck, hold hands or something. I just want some damn closure. He had a chance to do something like that with the time skip. Instead he wasted that flash forward in 276 by making the most incredibly ambiguous and frustrating flash forward chapter on existence.

And that's the greatest problem right now. 276 and 278. The Light Novel couldn't solve anything about Ishimiko , because it happens before 278, meaning that no matter what, 278 is going to Thanos snap whatever 'progress' was made during it. And 276 causes a similar problem, cause If he made a college Ishimiko continuation, it would have to be after 276. Because otherwise we still still ahve 276 smearing itself all over whatever we see from college Ishimiko before that point.

But on the other side of the coin. Having the interesting parts of the Ishimiko romance happen after college Ishimiko after 276 has the slight problem that it would be incredibly depressing. It's kinda funny and cute to see these characters wasting time for a couple of years. But 6+ years (high school + all the pre-276 college) would be so sad and honestly, really mean with the characters? Not even the rent a girlfriend guy is going to wait 6 whole years like that.

I guess my biases are showing here though. Because nowadays I am really feeling like I don't actually like College Ishimiko? I know it's fun in theory. But it's not really what I signed for. Maybe I would feel different if I going through 276 was worth it and it led to some form of closure. But nah, of course not. Because it would have been so hard for Aka Akasaka to give us even one speck of breadcrumb so near the end of the manga. I can't read Aka's mind so I don't know what he was thinking when writing 276, but I get such the vibe that it was just mean-spirited*.

And I think that's the problem I have overall. After 137, the manga + Short Story are so full of stuff that makes the ship more annoying and/or painful but there's never a reward that makes all those annoyances and pain worth it. I mean oh, how cool Ishigami almost killed himself and Miko broke her arm, but it's all worth it cause 226 chapters and a short story later we get to learn that Ishigami is transphobic. yay.

And the question is, after all of that, do I really want more of it? Probably not. This is probably why, the second I heard about that new light novel I automatically got defensive about it. I can only go through the annoyance -> pain -> no real reward cycle so many times before it's just tiresome. That's the best word I would use to describe Akasaka's writing overall. Tiresome.

*I know people really love 276. Specially HayaFuji shippers. But I think this chapter is the one that really broke me. And as a HayaFuji shipper, I can't help but notice that even the big win that 276 is supposed to be, Fuji looks like she's hating every single moment of it. And surely, that's not what's really going on. But it's an example of just how Aka forced himself to be as ambiguous and annoying and honestly cruel as possible in this chapter. The least-ambiguous thing about it is the Wedding rings, but it had to be so covert and stealthy that most people don't even notice. I've seen plenty of people tell others to go read Oshi No Ko chapter 90.1 for confirmation that Guya got married, because for some reason Aka couldn't be clear-enough about Kaguprez' status in their own manga. Again, it's just tiresome.

"Show don't tell" has its limits. Sometimes you really just have to show something. Anything at all. Unless exhausting your audience is part of your goals, I guess.

#ishimiko

[bronanlynch]

trying to get back into writing weekly roundup posts inspired by @/girlfriendofthegalaxy's tuesday again no problem series so here goes (disclaimer that these are not recommendations, as a rule I don't like recommending things to people because taste is so subjective and also because I enjoy doing analysis on things that are not good)

listening (podcast): making my way through the Gundam Wing episodes of Great Gundam Project. love to hear queer leftists talk about Gundam. it's fun to listen to now that I know more about Gundam, because when I watched Wing myself I knew literally nothing, and it's cool to get extra context but also cool to hear that some of my initial analysis still holds up. has the (un?)fortunate side effect of constantly making me wish I were watching Gundam

also obligatory shout out to Media Club Plus, a Hunter x Hunter rewatch podcast just started by some of the Friends at the Table folks, which I'm also enjoying a lot (this *is* a recommendation. please listen to Media Club Plus)

listening (music): so turns out I mostly listen to music when I'm driving these days, and right now the cd in my car's cd player is Avril Lavigne's Let Go, which is causing me to think a lot about a world in which Fire Emblem 3 Houses was an anime and there could be a sylvix+dimilix amv set to Complicated. also I've been fondly remembering that one wangxian sk8er boi amv that makes me cry every time I watch it

reading: recently finished The Archive Undying by Emma Mieko Candon. lots of divine-mechanical body horror and also a big win for fans of body sharing. very tasty, lots to chew on. I think I would have more to say about this one if I'd read it more quickly, but it was the book that I read a chapter or two every night before bed because that's a load-bearing part of my routine, and I think that meant that I sometimes lost track of some of the plot threads and shifting allegiances & motivations

currently reading The Water Outlaws by S.L. Huang, which I'm not far into but it's fun so far, and. sighs. Rule of Wolves by Leigh Bardugo. unfortunately because I couldn't remember exactly what happened in the books to properly compare it to the second season of Shadow & Bone I committed to rereading the whole series and, well, this could be compelling political intrigue except that's not where the focus is (it feels like there's a lot of words wasted on reiterating who the main characters are but not in particularly interesting ways or ways that show them changing very much, at least so far) so it's just simply not compelling to me

watching: rewatching Hunter x Hunter (2011) along with the Media Club Plus coverage. only on episode 6 so far but man what a good show

with my roommate, we've been slowly making our way through Elementary, because it's good to have on in the background while working on other things, and I do enjoy a competently written mystery. we also watched. uh. the Bionicle movies. those sure are movies that exist to sell toys to children. like, there's stuff in there that could be really interesting. as a kid I probably would've been obsessed. I'm glad I've seen them. they're not ""good movies""

now, this past weekend, instead of making any progress in any of the shows I was already watching, or fic I was writing, or anything like that, I saw a tumblr post that made a very compelling argument for spending the entire weekend watching all 16 episodes of 2021 k-drama The Devil Judge. this is a show for people who watched Tiger & Bunny and wanted Yuri (you know, everyone's favorite T&B side character, the guy who's a vigilante murderer and also a judge and also very sad) to be the main character (it's me. I wanted that.) anyway. this one's gonna be rattling around in my brain for a while. it's a dystopian legal drama with a significant helping of the gothic (gothic is here defined as when you're forced by circumstance to stay at the mysterious big house of an older wealthy man with secrets). it's about, among other things, corporate greed, the rise of fascism, systemic judicial inequality, the self-destructive catharsis of revenge, whether justice is possible in an unjust society, and having an intense homoerotic bond with your hot morally dubious coworker

oh yeah I'm also keeping up with the Ahsoka show because I was cursed at birth to care about Star Wars. I wish I liked it because I love Ahsoka and Sabine as characters but it's just simply not a well-made television show. really suffers from over-reliance on their Volume soundstage and various other issues that seem to stem from uninspired direction, but I've been especially disappointed with so many of the blocking choices

playing: finally getting back into playing Ace Attorney 5, which I paused literally three months ago and didn't pick up again until this week. there are parts of the game I've enjoyed (Athena is a cool character even if I dislike her mood matrix thing both mechanically and thematically; the mock trial conceit of 5-3 is fun; I like Blackquill & his bird) but other parts I do not enjoy (the transphobia oh my god I hoped I was free after getting past the homophobia & transmisogyny in 5-2 and then got hit with whatever the fuck they were doing with Robin in 5-3 please Ace Attorney be normal about trans people I am begging you)

making: we recently got B. Dylan Hollis's cookbook Baking Yesteryear, and made some maple-squash gems from the 1920s. not too much to say about these, they're nice muffins, tasty, not too hard to make. I think I would probably double the amount of cinnamon next time though

drinking: it's nog season which means it's time for the return of one of my favorite seasonal mixed drinks: eggnog (pumpkin, since that felt the Most seasonal) with a splash of Kraken spiced rum

writing: picking away at editing my t4t yurivain fic that was originally meant to be for Fire Emblem Trans Week, which was like a month and a half ago now. it's fine. everything is fine. anyway here's some lines:

“This feels like a test,” said Sylvain. “Is that your subtle way of telling me that I have to order our next round?” “Depends,” Yuri said, suppressing a laugh at the expression on Sylvain’s face, like he’d forgotten an answer during an exam. “What would you order for me?”

#sorry this is like a billion words long #everyone else who does these seems to be able to do concise summaries but i have a chronic inability to shut the fuck up. so. here we are #dreaming.txt #i used to have a tag for these but i cannot fucking remember what it was #weekly media roundup post

[tj-crochets]

I ask this genuinely: how do you manage to create so much? I really admire how much you make things, and enjoy your hobbies so much. I'm trying to figure out how to feel motivated to do projects again

This got extremely ramble-y, so it's below a read more

A lot of it is honestly luck? I have a stay-at-home job that has a fair amount of down time* where I have to be sitting at my computer in case someone emails me/messages me/calls me but can make things while waiting for emails, and it pays enough I can afford to live and buy craft supplies. I've also had a bunch of people, including relatives, neighbors, friends' relatives, and strangers destash and give me a lot of craft supplies for free. Part of it is that I get...idk how to word it. Antsy and listless when I haven't made things in a while? Making things is enrichment for me, and I know that, so I make a point to not go more than a few days without making something. Sometimes I don't want to make things, but I know I'll feel better if I finish a project**, so I'll crochet a little monster or make a tiny witch hat or something, and usually once I start making something I feel better and want to keep making things. Part of it is that I let myself make things on a whim. I've accumulated enough colors of minky, yarn, and embroidery floss*** that I can pretty much make any small thing I think of immediately after I think of it. This isn't universally applicable advice; I have the storage space to (mostly) store it neatly, and I know myself well enough to know I will absolutely lose enthusiasm for a project if I have to wait too long to start it. If I'm making a quilt but have a strong urge to make a tiny monster, I will take a break from the quilt to make a monster (I sometimes struggle with finishing big projects because of this, but it's a work in progress, and I always finish the project eventually). I also love craft supplies as decor. I let myself switch between hobbies as I have the urge to, and trust that I will eventually go back to previous hobbies. I used to guilt myself about changing hobbies, but now I embrace it. Learning new things is good for me! I just spent like three months quilting, like two weeks making doll clothes and a doll to fit them, and now two and a half days embroidering. I'm thinking about making a teddy bear sized tricorn hat. A few weeks ago I made a chain mail/scale mail bracelet, and before then I think it had been like five years since I made anything with chain mail. Sometimes I do get caught up in guilt about crafts. Like, guilt that I promised to make someone something and haven't yet, or that I spent money on supplies but haven't used them, or that someone bought me supplies and I haven't used them. It can absolutely drain all my crafting motivation. When that happens, I try to take a step back, and find what is stopping me/causing me guilt. Is a gift late? That's okay, my friends and family understand crafting takes time and won't be upset. Did I spend money on supplies and not use them yet? That's okay, picking them out brought me joy and inspiration and I will use them in the future. Someone bought me supplies and I haven't used them? How awesome that they thought of me! Someday I'll make something cool with that stuff, and it's great to have another metaphorical crayon in my crayon box to open up more possibilities of things to make. Sometimes I also get hung up on patterns, where part of it is just utterly unenjoyable to me and I can't bring myself to start making the thing. When that happens, I try to figure out what bugs me about it. Is it too complex a pattern? Okay, I'll pick a simpler one. Do I hate hand sewing applique? Okay, I'll look up machine applique, or use a different fabric that doesn't need applique, or pick a different pattern. I think I might've gotten a little off topic? Part of it is also that I struggle to focus on watching shows or even sometimes reading if I am not also making something.

*I mean, it varies day to day, but a lot more downtime than my first job

**there's some neurochemical thing about finishing a project, especially when the finished project creates a tangible object? ***I used to make friendship bracelets

#ask away! #the person behind the yarn #sorry nonny this got really long lol #I also have unintentional automatic negative reinforcement built in #in that the weirdness of my adrenals and my allergies combined mean if I get angry or stressed enough #I will literally have an allergic reaction to my own stress/anger #(it's like adrenals dump stuff in the blood stream triggering mast cells to dump stuff triggering allergic reaction) #but it does mean it's WAAAAY easier for me to notice when I am being unkind to myself than it used to be #and if I overwork myself I tend to have a POTS flareup and my blood pressure drops dramatically #between them my self-care is a looooot better than it used to be #which helps! #making stuff for people also helps #I love making things for my friends and their kids and the kid I used to babysit #my friend's son absolutely loves dinosaurs #and I never struggle with motivation making him dinosaurs because I know it will make him happy #so...love? love is a motivation for crafting? but also so is boredom and the inability to sit still and the lure of cute fabric #and problem solving. sometimes I make stuff just to figure out how I can.

[ravenousnightwind]

You know, before I got medicated, I couldn't even cuddle with my partner or feel any kind of things about him. I couldn't even feel things when I was supposed to. Depression literally took away my ability to feel. People might say: huh that doesn't make any sense. Yeah it actually does. You know why? Because depression as an illness doesn't just sometimes make you upset emotionally. It can also deaden your emotions and literally isolate you mentally from other people. It shuts off your ability to understand others and interpret things the way you would normally if you weren't having an episode.

So how come I couldn't cuddle with my partner? Well, when you have autism and adhd, apparently these effects when paired with extreme major depressive disorder, can make a person feel uncomfortable or like something is to heavy or disturbing when it shouldn't be. So I'd always feel this sense of being uncomfortable with him because maybe his leg was on me. Plus my having other issues too that were exasperated by it.

I started to develop IBS symptoms and it got to the point any time I had coffee, potatoes, etc, if it wasn't unrefined foods or foods that weren't related to poisonous plants, I couldn't eat it. Now the interesting part with this is that there is literal scientific evidence now to show the gut bacteria communicate with the brain to help you digest stuff. So if the brain isn't working in a way it should what's gonna happen? Emotions, functionality, relationships, and even your diet will all be affected.

I went unmedicated for years thinking I didn't need that shit. Well, it has affected me so badly now that it has progressed to the point I can't be a normal human without them. So when you have had depression since childhood like I have, then..it's likely by being unmedicated that the disease will cause more damage to your brain over a period of time as it cannot function. If you pair that with adhd and autism, there's also things about that which affect it negatively too. With autism the "wiring" is there but signals aren't strong enough or don't get sent out. That part whatever it happens to be, just doesn't function even though all the things for it to are there.

Interestingly enough, the brain has the ability to adapt and even repair itself. It's an organ that is very complex, but also mysterious. When we train ourselves by doing puzzles, yes, even playing games where we have to figure out what we're doing on our own, it allows out brain to make new neural connections. So matching games, memory games, etc. All that and more can help your brain heal itself over time. But it's also possible that without meds you might lack the ability to even do that. As that's where it was going for me.

Mental illness is a serious thing, you can't just beat your kids or discipline people to be better or not be a way. Sometimes it's because you can't see what's really going on. That they're actually sick or suffering from an incurable disease. And especially if you were or your child is like me? I didn't know why I couldn't do those things, like go to school and do homework etc. I just knew I couldn't it made me so tired and exhausted but people equated that to laziness or whatever.

My point is, just because you don't know. Doesn't mean it isn't real. Just because they can't find anything wrong doesn't mean there isn't something wrong. It needs to be taken as a real debilitating disease as it is instead of seen as this "you just don't want to"

#depression #anxiety #mentalheathawareness #mental illness #mental health #autism #adhd #neurobiology

[nwhk]

Fare thee well, 2023

Aaah..

Yeah exactly. That's the first thing I said out loud when I tried to think about 2023 in retrospect

Can you believe that it's only a few days until 2024? I have not even finished processing half of 2023 let alone entering a new year..

Honestly I have no idea how I dealt with this year - mostly giving myself the peptalk cause girl can't depend on no one for that. You gotta kick your own ass, sometimes. I lied. It's most of the time.

Because truth be told, it's you against yourself 90% of the time. You can't choose the environment nor the situation you're in but you can, at least, control the way you react to it. (Trust me, in my head, I've been on rampages a few times)

Looking back on 2023, it was a roller coaster. Emotionally. Physically. Mentally. Hold on, scratch that. It felt like being thrown in a fucking washing machine and being told not to scream - but eventually seeing light in the end

Yeah. Exactly like that.

I feel like I was thrown in situations so uncomfortable that I didn't get to tell that it was uncomfortable - it was more like God throwing stuff at me and told me to deal with it - and I did.

See, that's the thing. I never thought I had it in me to handle all of those things thrown at me. I used to think, nah that's not gonna happen to me. I used to think I GET to choose, but the universe said otherwise, obviously.

I lost a friend this year to Cancer. We used to be so close but my God, it was really a wake up call how fragile life is. How short life is! May Allah rest her soul amongst the beloved – really puts into perspective the things that we think are important in this life

I also lost a friendship that I really valued and tried so hard to keep this year. But I guess, one can only get hurt so much, so this one had to bite the dust. I'll cherish all the memories, for sure, but I believe wholeheartedly that we would be better off out of each others' lives and I wish her all the best

.

.

On a positive note, I went on two vacations this year - Kuching in July and KL & Penang in December. Where did I get the money with all the expenses on my car that I had to pay for this year? hahaha God indeed works in mysterious ways

and when they say people show their true colours when you live or travel with them, it is so true and I learned a lot in that regard and it did build my patience and get my mind blocking game strong

and as a cherry on top, my sister decided to give birth while I was away. Sister of the year goes to....? Yours truly. I have a new nephew ya'll and it is such a lovely addition to our family and even more lovely way to end the year - baby screams. I'm kidding. He's a good boy.

I don't know, but I feel like my mind went through a lot of shifts and lots of tweaking here and there throughout this year. I definitely learned a lot and it has definitely helped shape my character. Have I transformed into a better person? Not really. I really do feel like I am still a work in progress and I have gotten better in some areas more than the others, and other parts I feel, I have not started on or even identify them yet.. maybe I will next year?

I also learn that having people who love you and accept you as you are is hugely underrated - you need it and it makes this whole life journey more bearable. Those who feel your joy and your pain - those count, and I wish everybody has at least this one person in their lives.

Watching my parents grow old was really the highlight of this year, I feel. They played a major part in opening my eyes this year. I have taken for granted a lot of things - the way I would get mad how my mom would bang my door to call me for dinner every night - I don't get to experience that anymore. Mom can barely walk let alone walk to my door. A lot of things. How the tables have turned. How they have become so dependent on me now

Now I'm the one who has to call for dinner - to bring dinner to them. To worry if they have anything to eat while I'm away for work etc. I'm less worried now because my sister's home at least for a few months

There were moments where I caught myself wishing to turn back the hands of time. Wishing for this and for that but only to realise that all I have is now and for me to make it count and with all thats going on in my life, I am afraid to lose sight of this in the midst of all the chaos. It can easily be the most difficult thing in the world

I have no idea what 2024 is going to entail but I am trying to make sure that I enter the new year with a positive mindset. The grateful, blessed mindset with a new outlook on life. Wish I knew years ago that this is what growing up is. I used to always believe that life was like a tug of war where you have to fight to win and so I lived life on survival mode mostly. When I was told to relax and take life as it is, I panicked - in my mind that if I let go just a little bit, life will come crashing down

Now I am slowly accepting that I am just living life as it was written. Life will give to you naturally and all you have to do is navigate and make good decisions and most importantly, have a good heart and good intentions with you all the time. I believe God knows and acknowledges all that we do

What will be, will be - and so it is.

Happy New Year 2024, everybody!

This ship is only sailing towards the Northern Star

Note: I began writing this post a probably a week before 31st

[frostbite-the-bat]

random thoughts (GETS LONG) but I've never developed what Mac Opsys and Frost would think of each other, considering that Frost was originally built by Brian (There was a 0.5 second of them not going after his neck)

They canonically (Like, our Frostbite Cogs Only canon) break reality and chill outside the game's bounds, like the game mechanics like that are canon for them which is also how HR got yeeted out (Being non canon breaking reality all that shit sadly I haven't read that dialogue in a bit + wasn't there for it) (Was asleep or at school)

And just that Mac like... Hacks and monitors stuff and is like The Tech Of The Toons

Like he absolutely knows Frost (and Spam by extension) are actually Cogs and he's probably even seen them being built and psobably has access to some of the files that were used to make them from Brian's computers

So Frost would absolutely be reported and be a known threat (They both are and aren't. They do legit harm and no good but also most of the time they're all bark no bite, it depends who you are) but for the sake of the funnies Frost does have Some Sort Of Plot Armor

But also, aside from me playing the game, in lore Frost basically never interacts with Toon Resistance stuff and the tasks and such anymore - they chill with their Toon friends and the Cogs and sort of just cause havoc as they do - they just do whatever they want really

Again at first they were scared, but realizing some Cogs know they're a Cog who was built to look like a Toon and don't attack them on sight for it - like they've got people behind their back and they sorta abuse that ajfjty

They stopped caring about hiding how they're a Cog and now to follow my current progress in the game just go raid the bosses for fun (though standing more on the side when going to a VP fight) and managers for a hang out or just... Argument or fight or whatever whenever I fight those. Otherwise they just stick with the Cogs and just... They're very very careless and everyone knows they're a Cog

Hell they LOVE attention and absolutely have a good bit of an ego and appearing on a whole show PROUDLY and SCARING TOONS PROUDLY literally ON PURPOSE making themselves known as like. A feared trickster just to boost their ego and confidence more

They're a little mother fucker but in a fun way because a lot of the times their attempts at Being Cool Or Menacing just Fucking Fail but they don't acknowledge it because That's Not Swag To Do.

So like clearly everyone knows but nobody has done anything yet shfhfjfj. I still gotta think if I ever do a more serious story with them or just... More concepts like that (still Toony silly tho) if they get affected by this more because they're just causing havoc with no restraint aside from them just. Failing often they're too overconfident and brash to be careful and just fuck things up goofily is what keeps them at bay

Though that isn't all there is to them - they still care about people and do know Rarely when to cool it down though even then they may joke (And possibly take it too far? One thing to know with Frost is to rarely take them seriously at a time like that, and just understand the sentiment they mean deep down) And often what they do they see as funny and one way they like making others around them happy is... Just by being an entertainer basically. Hell they're a co-host on a show

Basically Frost Is A Weirdo and THEY'RE VERY FUN and shouldn't be taken too seriously because them not being noticed by Toons is a big plot hole though I imagine some Toons just. Know. But they're just like. Okay they blow up buildings for fun and chase people and bite them (no serious injuries) but this is funny to watch. But also Toons do care about each other so they may to try and stop Frost sometime

I think the being gang piled on would just make them run off like OH THIS ISN'T THE END OF IT ALL... I'LL GET YOU. I'LL COME BACK. OHHHH and like go complain at sellbot hq and that's it (Though also many Toons are Scared because Frost Does Want People To Be Scared It's Funny For Them. BUT there's brave Toons out there!)

Another thing to be developed more is the family dynamic - it's very personal comfort based even if I do like thinking about the depth Cathal and Allan have and my thoughts about it... Some projection and oh GOD THAT OLD COMIC I NEVER FINISHED (glad I didn't some of my thoughts changed) but this stuff is a bit just... Disconnected from canon reality where things are a bit more idealized for funsies - like. Let's be honest Allan probably wouldn't adopt a toon cog his employee built because they're friends with his son and are helping him through his mental health and motivation issues. It'd take waayyy more time than it did in the story and no actual adoption would probably happen but then again there was never an actual adoption it was just. Being accepted into the family progressively. But like yeah still frost and spam don't even work normally for COGS INC - like they both work FOR employees of Cogs INC. LOOKS AT FROST'S GOOFY LIST OF JOBS

(Their main thing is working with High Roller as a show co-host plus some stage set up stuff and all that - Spam helps with it backstage. For Pace they do some of his paperwork Pace Place desk when they want to, but really they only took the job because their club leader is dating Graham + the club HQ is there. They also keep their closet of belongings there. They basically never actually do work there. Graham keeps them there because of Molly and because the two are highly competitive and wanna keep one upping each other in things. For Cosmo they work only so they don't have to pay off their massive tab. What they do is just go around and intimidate people into paying Cosmo. They call it being a hit man but all they do is just scare someone.)

So like?? It's again the fact that no matter what Frost is an absolute outlier. They look like a Toon, but have Cog insides. They're too toony for most Cogs, but too Coggy and mean for Toons. And that's honestly their whole character? They don't like rules and they like breaking them and doing whatever they want. That how they came to be - made to follow orders but they got corrupted and do the opposite. (Also one of the reasons why HR likes them, I imagine she's quite fascinated by Toons. He doesn't also like predictability and the more out there and fun and risky a thing is the more he likes it.

Frostbite at first glance is a Toon, and an extra wacky, loud and impulsive one at that - then you see it's a Cog and wonder how a Cog is just... This way. In a way them looking like a Toon and the show bringing both Toons and Cogs together is like. Almost symbolic. Of what? Who knows. Anyways HR saw Frost and thought 'I need to know more about whatever that is'.)

It's not a perfect story and again it cannot be taken too seriously and there's a lot of issues even I have with it but seeing as this is for fun and several things are there for comfort or just self indulgence it's just fine as it is like why bother with all detailed stuff when my result is just to goof off and have fun with scenarios with my friends? I can go into more serious detail whenever I decide to write something more serious, y'know ?

(Also side note ain't no way Allan accepting HIGH ROLLER into the extended family 😭😭😭😭😭) (Though Allan is the friendliest boss and HR is Marketable As Hell) (Chris can I borrow your employee 😭😭😭)

OK but again BACK TO WHERE WE STARTED. I need to see Mac Opsys and Frost dynamic someday there's a potential to be funny because on one hand Mac wants to stop stuff like this from happening he wants good for Toontown but also MUTUAL BRIAN BEEF

(Random thought, Frost always boasts about having many enemies but it's usually random on Le off Cogs and a few of the mgrs. Bostly Ben and Brian and like. Robert. In reality they're either friendly or neutral with most Cogs. They may be neutral but the other party doesn't like them as much, like with Thomas. Though a lot of these friendships are... Shallow and undeveloped and just there because they ARE a self insert and I'd like to be friends with certain characters. But no way in hell they'd get along with Misty oh my god they'd scare her probably. But also Frost isn't dumb and can see people who are distressed and as stated before they do tend to be calmer around like, Cathal and such.)

Anyways I love this freak random thoughts over I gotta go to bed

#Guzma's oc rambles #Frostbite

[jonesatheart]

Make it Stop

This is a section from a larger work in progress and contains heavy implications of past sexual abuse, nothing graphic, but undeniably there. There is also discussion of body memories. You have been warned.

Raph wedged himself between the wall and Casey, who was backed into corner of the room clutching his head in both hands with his knees pulled to his chest, and gently drew him sideways against his plastron.

Casey let go of his head to cling to Raph's arm and in response Raph curled his arm around him and gently thumbed the back of Casey's head.

"I don't know what's happenin'," he breathed.

"Talk to me," Raph encouraged. "Tell me what's goin' on so I can help."

Casey shook his head. "I can't." He finally managed.

Raph took a breath and decided to gently push. "Y'know I'd never judge ya for something that's obviously pretty serious, right? Cause I kinda got a guess at what's goin' on. Ya don't gotta deal with it alone, Case. Ya don't...gotta hide it or feel ashamed of it. I'd never hold somethin' that's clearly upsettin' over ya head."

"I don't even really know what it is. I just-" he let out a frustrated whine and pressed his face against Raph's arm.

"It's okay," Raph assured. "It's okay. I kinda figured you wouldn' cause...ya not the one that's been lookin' into stuff. If ya want. I can tell ya what I think is goin' on and we can try some stuff, or we can just try some stuff."

"I wanna know what's goin' I just- I feel wrong."

Raph nodded. "There's this thing that happens called somatic flashbacks or body memories. Basically instead of the kinda flashback they always show on TV where ya see it, ya body feels what happened instead." He bit his lip, an ache swelling in his chest for his friend. "For people who've been through what you have...sometimes that means their bodies react like it's happenin' all over again. But the thing of it is...bodies don't know any better about what's wanted and what's not. Bodies just react. That's what they're designed to do. It ain't ya fault. And it doesn't mean...that you secretly wanted it or enjoyed it. It was just a reaction. Somethin' you didn't have control over. And it's never gonna be somethin' that reflects anythin' about you, Case."

Casey squirmed, trying to pull his legs in tighter. "It feels real," he whispered, tears slowly over taking him. "It's like I can feel 'er on me. I want it to stop. How do I make it stop?"

"I know," Raph answered gently, calmly, even as anger and sadness fought in his chest. "I know, it's okay, buddy. Ya safe, okay? Ya not back then, ya here, right now, with me. I want ya to do some of that slow breathin' Don showed us, alright? We gotta getcha grounded, okay? So take some deep breaths, focus on my voice, what ya hear and feel around ya. Where ya at? Name the place."

Casey swallowed. "The lair."

"Uh-huh," Raph began rocking side to side. "Specifically?"

"Your room."

"That's right. How old are ya?"

"Twenty-five."

"Mhm. How long we known each other?"

"I dunno. Two years? Three years? Somethin' like that?"

"Yeah, somethin' like that. I don't know exactly either." Raph rubbed up and down Casey's spine. "Where ya workin' right now?"

"My shop."

"Ya doin' great, Case," Raph encouraged. He could feel Casey slowly starting to relaxing in his arms. "How long ya been doin' that?"

"Bout six months."

"Good. Those kindsa questions are just to help reminda ya when ya are. Ya not there anymore, pal. She can't touch you. She doesn't know where ya live, she doesn't know where ya at right now. She can't get to ya. How ya feelin', pal?"

Casey let out a breath and nodded. "It's less loud."

"Good. If I had the lights on we could do a few others. Have ya name some stuff ya can see, pick out a color and name stuff ya see that is that color, holdin' an ice cube, smellin' a candle or whatever, all those kindsa things that remind ya where ya actually at."

"I'm okay."

"Yeah, ya are," Raph agreed and hugged him tightly. "I gotcha, buddy."

#whumptober2023 #no.3 #make it stop. #tmnt #fic #implied noncon tw #my writing

[milexa2000]

4 Town members headcanons🎨🏀🧢🎤🕊

Warnings: none just fluff (maybe a bit of sus stuff… idk)

A/n: Hey yall! So i watched Turning Red yesterday and i couldnt help but be obsessed with 4 Town. So i decided to make some headcanons for each 5 ! This is my first time doing this so plz don't make fun of me. If i missed any info for each 4 Town member! Thanks🥰

-Milexa🖤

♥️❤️💜🖤🧡💛💚💙𝓣𝓸 𝓶𝓮, 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓯𝓮𝓬𝓽. ♥️❤️💜🖤🧡💛💚💙♥️❤️💜🖤🧡

Robaire🎤

Since he is the singer i feel like he would teach his s/O how to sing since hes so good at it!

Whenever you both are on a date, his team would just sit there and watch both of u guys, his team giving him thumbs up

He would teach you all of his songs and would be so proud of you and give you big hugs and kisses

I feel like the nicknames he would call you are "baby", "Mon amour" (which means "my love" in French". Anddd idk what else🥲

He lovess to dance with u

I imagine him twirling hie s/O around while dancing and giving them lots of kisses🥰

I bet he likes to cuddle too he is a big spoon tbh

Would whisper you "Bonne nuit mon amour." (it means "good night my love in French)

I feel like he would sing one of his songs to you to cheer you up

Tae Young🕊

THIS BOI IS JUST SO.... CUTE

He would defidently show you his injured doves that he fostered

He would love to see you in the concert and watch him go

He LOVES giving you lots of kisses

He loves cheek kisses, probably neck kisses too😳

His nicknames for you would defidently be "Dove" like.. COME ON

He would also call you "baby" and "bunny". Thats all i could think of😅

he LOVES talking about animals with you. Even wild ones too

Aaron. T 🧢

I feel like he likes to tell you A LOT of things

You cant help but laugh and stop him because of how fast he talks

I imagine him hugging you from behind (that would be so sweet🥰)

When you guys say goodbye to eachother, he would do that number 4 sighns and i star giggling and do it back to him which causes him to blush

He would give you neck kisses and lots on the Lips😳😏

He would even do it infront of his friends which makes them shocked and he would laugh at his friend's reaction

He would tell you lots of jokes since hes a comedian

He would try to make you laugh but it was impossible for him which makes him play fully whine

He would defidently showoff to his friends

If your having a bad, Aaron. T is always there for you

He would tell you jokes and try to make you laugh, which gladly worked. Then we will start giving you lots of hugs

Aaron. Z 🏀

Since he is a basketball player, he would show you one of his cool tricks

He can be a bit shy sometimes when you ask him if he could teach you something of his tricks

He would cheer for you whenever you make the ball into the Hoop

He would blush feriously when he puts his hands around your waist and hold you steady

He gets super shy and embaressed when you kiss him infront of his friends, which causes them to laugh and him covering his face in embarassment

The nicknames he likes the most for you would be "babe" or "my love"

He LOVES giving yoy hugs. He's like a big warm teddy bear

When he's alone, he would miss you super much, he cant stop thinking about you

He loves going on walks with you, his arm around your shoulder and asks about your day

Jesse 🎨

I feel like Jesse would show you all his artwork

He likes to show you all his progress

LOTS of neck kisses😳

Sometimes he can get a bit extra in front of his friends

Which caused you to tell him to stop while laughing, embarrassed

He doesn’t care if he does it infront of people, he just wants everyone to know who you belong to😳😏

He would teach you how to make pots out of clay

He puts his hands on your and controls them with the clay

You start blushing when he puts his head on your shoulder and tells you on how good your doing (ayo😳)

By comforting you, you both draw together to lighten the mood. You both make amazing ideas of what kinda art or drawing you guys are making

Is a hugger and a kisser🙄🤚🏽

He’ll blow you a kiss when he’s on stage and you watching him with awe

_______________________🖤_______________________

A/n: soooo yeah?? It wasn’t to good tbh. (Plz don’t make fun, it’s my first time). Anyway, let me know if I should make more head canons for the 4 town members!!

-Milexa🖤💙

#turning red #disney movies #encanto fluff #bts fluff #disney fanfiction #4town #4 town #fanfic #fanfiction