#This is my beardie Pandora | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

at-least-ill-die-a-lionturtle · 6 years

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You know I'm going to make you answer all of the unusual questions too, right? (This is me asking you all of the unusual questions, btw. 👍)

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify, even tho I FUCKING HATE IT sometimes

is your room messy or clean? Clean af lol

what color are your eyes? Basic Bitch Brown™

do you like your name? why? Eh, its okay I guess lol

what is your relationship status? Blissfully taken

describe your personality in 3 words or less. Uhhhhmmmm uhhhhhhhhh fuck

what color hair do you have? Basic Bitch Brown™

what kind of car do you drive? color? The Invisible Boatmobile

where do you shop? The fridge, sometimes the pantry

how would you describe your style? Haphazardly

favorite social media account. Matthew McConaughey’s Youtube channel

what size bed do you have? Queen

any siblings? A younger sister, an older brother, and three older sisters

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? KFC.

favorite snapchat filter? I cant remember, but I really like that one that makes your face reeeeeeeeeeeal small

favorite makeup brand(s). ♪ Make me up (MAKE ME UP INSIDE) I cant make up (MAKE ME UP INSIDE) ♫

how many times a week do you shower? 2-3 times

favorite tv show? So much

shoe size? 9-10 depending on the shoe

how tall are you? 5′8

sandals or sneakers? Those little booties they put on cats

do you go to the gym? I go to Gymboree sometimes

describe your dream date. October 31st

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? HA. HAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

what color socks are you wearing? I got dem white Hanes biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch

how many pillows do you sleep with? One. And a pillow pet-esqe thingie. Its a fox :3

do you have a job? what do you do? Bitch on the internet and watch Youtube

how many friends do you have? So many

whats the worst thing you have ever done? Man thats one hell of a list Im not willing to pull out today lol

whats your favorite candle scent? I really like earthy smells. Like beachwood, silver birch, meadow showers, and sage & citrus

3 favorite boy names. Shane, Jason, Max(imillian)

3 favorite girl names. Kiera, Joyce, Beth(any)

favorite actor? I dunno Will Ferrell I guess

favorite actress? Uhhhh fuckin uhhhhh Winona Ryder

who is your celebrity crush? Ryan Reynolds

favorite movie? Lion King

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? Not as much as I used to, and not really sure

money or brains? In reference to what???

do you have a nickname? what is it? Beardie, Pigblap, Ol’ Montgomery, Turtleman

how many times have you been to the hospital? A few. Got my chin patched up once. One time I had cotton stuck in my ear

top 10 favorite songs. FUCK okay here we go: Cant Stop The Feeling - Justin Timberlake, Sufferer/LA Poderosa - Stick To Your Guns, I Believe In A Thing Called Love - The Darkness, Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus, Dancing Queen - ABBA, The Suspend - Stick To Your Guns, Engine 45 - The Ghost Inside, Say It Aint So - Weezer, Everlong - Foo Fighters, Im Not Okay (I Promise) - My Chemical Romance

do you take any medications daily? I do, for my fucking heartburn BECAUSE MY BODY HATES ME

what is your skin type (oily, dry, etc)? Normal I guess, with dry tendencies. Especially after washing my hands, showering, swimming, etc

what is your biggest fear? Time

how many kids do you want? HA. HAHA. HAHAHAHAHA.

whats your go to hair style? My hair style is whatever the fuck it feels like doing that day. I learned and accepted a long time ago that there is little I can do to tame my mane.

what type of house do you live in (big, small, etc)? Big

who is your role model? Pizza rolls

what was the last compliment you received? I honestly dont know lol

what was the last text you sent? I dont know man, fuck

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? I dunno, like 7 or 8 maybe?

what is your dream car? A 95 Subaru Outback station wagon, or a 2005 Ford GT

opinion on smoking? If you do, whatever. Just be mindful of other people. But I think its gross, and dont. And cant date anyone who does.

do you go to college? YOUR MOM GOES TO COLLEGE

what is your dream job? Musician/Photographer/Twitch streamer

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? I’d rather live in the city or on the outskirts. But where I live now is just fine

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? I do lol They just throw it away anyways

do you have freckles? I dont, but I has lots of birthmarks n stuff

do you smile for pictures? Sometimes, but rarely a full smile

how many pictures do you have on your phone? About 300, but some are duplicates

have you ever peed in the woods? Like, yeah lol

do you still watch cartoons? Fuck yeah. I love cartoons

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? ARE YOU MCFUCKIN KIDDIN ME???

Favorite dipping sauce? Depends on the day. And what Im dipping. Fries? Ketchup or fancy sauce (mayo & ketchup). Chicken nuggets or tenders? Boss sauce (my secret blend), bbq, sweet n sour, honey mustard, or ranch

what do you wear to bed? Usually just my underwear, sometimes shorts or pj pants when its cold

have you ever won a spelling bee? Nah but I was a boss at spelling tests in school lol

what are your hobbies? Slappin food together, playin vidya gaems, makin music on my tum

can you draw? Not at all

do you play an instrument? I play drums!

what was the last concert you saw? Uhhhhh FUCK I think it mighta been Purity Ring and HANA

tea or coffee? Coffee, but tea is nice too

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Dunkin Donuts

do you want to get married? Im already married to the ball fam

what is your crush’s first and last initial? DH

are you going to change your last name when you get married? Yeah I did when I got married. My full name is now Charles Cody Basketball

what color looks best on you? Purple, but also blue and orange

do you miss anyone right now? I do, I miss my friends back in VA

do you sleep with your door open or closed? Open, but I prefer closed

do you believe in ghosts? I diddlyiddly do

what is your biggest pet peeve? When the batteries in something go dead

last person you called? Prolly Alex lol I dunno

favorite ice cream flavor? Moose Tracks

regular oreos or golden oreos? REGULAR WHAT THE FUCK DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY EAT GOLDEN OREOS???

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? Both are good

what shirt are you wearing? None lol

what is your phone background? This

are you outgoing or shy? Shy, but can be outgoing at times

do you like it when people play with your hair? 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit

do you like your neighbors? I do, theyre nice folk

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? I do, just whenver I shower

have you ever been high? HIGH ON LIFE SON

have you ever been drunk? DRUNK ON THAT CAPRI SUN SHIT

last thing you ate? Cereal, Capn Crunch Donuts specifically

favorite lyrics right now. ♪ Make me up (MAKE ME UP INSIDE) I cant make up (MAKE ME UP INSIDE) ♫

summer or winter? Winter!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And also autumn

day or night? Oh yeah. This is a Kid Cudi reference. I get it. Im hip with the kids

dark, milk, or white chocolate? Milk, but white is nice too. I kinda only like dark chocolate when its those bomb ass Ghiradelli squares with the raspberry filling FUCK ME UP

favorite month? Spooktober

what is your zodiac sign? Taurus

who was the last person you cried in front of? Alex

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javodvarka · 6 years

Text

Yet another episode of The 100 where things go swimmingly, 100% according to plan, with no hiccups and DEFINITELY no wars being declared.

C’MON. Of course things went sideways. Actually, saying things went sideways is an understatement. Things went sideways, fell off a cliff, hit every sharp outcropping on the way down, exploded at the bottom of the cliff, then released a lake of liquid fire that engulfed half the earth.

So, business as usual.

Looking around the review sites yields a consensus opinion that season 5 is on fire, giving us perhaps the best first four episodes of any season. If anything, things seem more crystallized this season, more in-focus than ever before. That six year time jump has re-invigorated a show whose moral lessons started to grow a bit rote. With this episode, the table is set for the rest of the season: we at war, kids. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy…………..?

Written by Charmaine DeGraté and directed by Dean White, “Pandora’s Box” has loosed all sorts of anarchy upon the world and the fallout is going to be delicious. This episode probably overtakes “Fallen” as my favorite of DeGraté’s work. Like last week, this episode is PACKED with a lot of information and character moments, but unlike last week, it lit the fuse for a showdown between a bunch of prisoners and a death cult.

Strap in, folks. Season 5 is LIT. Let’s get into it.

You’re In a Cult, Call Your Dad. No, Seriously, Call Your Dad!

“Red Queen” showed us a little bit of what became of life in the bunker, but this episode pretty much reveals the ugly crazy in all it’s … uh … glory? The chanting, the single-mindedness, the blind devotion to a leader…it’s a freakin’ cult.

This is a joke within a joke. JOKECEPTION.

Octavia. Girl. What in the FUCK have you created?

We knew things had gone to shit in the bunker, but this is a full on brand of cray-cray that most people, at first blush, seem to have completely bought into. Octavia is almost unrecognizable from the girl we saw in season 1 and she’s frightening as fuck. But who frightens me more?

Gaia. SHE SCARES ME Y’ALL.

You guys…I want to like her, but I don’t trust her. She’s a religious zealot who has transferred her faith in the Flame onto Blodreina. While Octavia is the “leader,” Gaia is the one moving the gears, enforcing Wonkru’s laws, and ensuring that Wonkru is as dedicated to Octavia as Gaia is…or at least the IDEA of Octavia. At this point, I think anyone could be Blodreina as long as Gaia is there to protect the position of what is essentially the Commander for a new, very dark age. After all, the Flame went in and out of a long line of Commanders, all of which seemed interchangeable, with only Becca and Lexa as notable exceptions.

People filling that seat come and go…the person isn’t important, the position is. I honestly think if Octavia were to fall, Gaia would just find another Red Queen or King to take over as figurehead, as long as Gaia herself was always by his/her side. Octavia dies? Oh well, Wonkru finds a new Blodreina, the cult goes on. I’m tellin’ y’all, Gaia shady.

I find it ironic that a place built by one cult is now home to another. In my season 5 predictions, I thought we’d learn more about Second Dawn and Cadogan. And while we still might, Wonkru certainly gives them a run for their money, and seem far more deadly and dedicated to Blodreina.

What we have yet to see are the cracks in the Wonkru armor, save for Indra, who seems to be loyal to Octavia to a point. Indra always looks like she’s unhappy with someone or something, but I truly believe she’s not a big proponent of the fighting pit, but things have gone too far for her to speak up now. Only through her actions of trying to protect Kane do we see a small act of rebellion on her part. Her story and how she interacts with both Gaia and Octavia will be very interesting this season. I don’t think she’s above betraying Octavia, but it will take A LOT to get her there.

Take note of the bunker’s lighting. Much of it has a red tinge to it…a nice stylistic choice to further reinforce the idea of the Red Queen. It’s also, obviously, the color of blood. The bunker is completely in Octavia’s control. Everyone looks to her to for permission. Now that Wonkru is out of this confined space, will they continue to look to her for all their orders, do they trust she can continue to protect them, or will she – or Wonkru – start cracking under pressure now that they’ve escaped their petri dish of horror?

And what if Octavia thinks she has to be even more brutal in the face of an enemy? Guys…we in for some shit.

GODDAMN, Kane and Abby Need a Hot Shower, Some Soup, and a Nap

Y’all, Kane and Abby look rode hard and put up wet. Both look to be mentally and emotionally spent. The past six years have not been kind.

It’s clear Kane and Abby have had a hard road in the bunker. Kane looks worn down to the bone, and Abby doesn’t look much better, addicted to pills for what looks like the past six years.

When Kane makes his last appeal to Octavia, I think it’s waaaaaaaaaay too late to propose that they try to do better. That ship has sailed. Even Kane acknowledges that Octavia has made Wonkru strong, got them through whatever the “dark year” was. And that’s his mistake…allowing things to go on too long without speaking up, without appealing to Octavia’s better angels before she totally became Blodreina. Because truth be told, there’s little of Octavia left. She’s now this new entity that she thought she needed to be to keep the bunker as clear of chaos as possible. Keeping the chaos contained to the fighting pit. In the process, Octavia has become hardened in a way that yields only to a black/white view of the world: Wonkru or enemy of Wonkru. It’s a mantra that she repeats six years later. While that type of solidarity might have served to get control of the bunker, maintaining control has taken something else entirely. 400 people dead…what exactly happened in those six years? And that dark year? WTF is that???!!!

Kane has always tried to fight for a better world since he saw the error of his ways in season 2, but here he’s just defeated. He pleads with Octavia, but it’s such a last ditch effort, an argument made too many times to carry much weight anymore. Especially with someone as far down a dark path as Octavia. I understand the feeling. I live in the US during a sham presidency full of lies and corruption. No matter what you do, think, or feel, things just seem out of control and the world is upside down.

Abby’s addiction is going to be a tough story line to maneuver her through. We still don’t quite know why Abby needs the drugs she’s on, and we don’t know what kind of drugs they are. I think we have to assume she’s suffering from the same side effects of jacking out of ALIE that Raven was. And seeing as she’s seemingly referred to as the only doctor (hello? what about Jackson?), the pressure to be that for 800+ people while your brain is frizting out is probably overwhelming. She strugs to func something fierce.

Kane and Abby repeat some lines we’ve heard in the past, that they’ve done terrible things to survive, but it’s so half-hearted on her part that it’s just rote now. Kane knows this and says it’s just something they tell themselves to justify the horrors they’ve inflicted on others and each other. There’s no more fight left in these two. Even when Kane is going to knowingly sacrifice himself, it’s not out of some noble desire to be better or rise above the chaos…I genuinely think he’s completely spent. There’s no more energy left to appeal to anyone’s better selves or to try and fight for a better world or better versions of themselves…it’s all too much.

I would usually joke about Beardy Sexy Kane and full-size body pillows of said individual, but watching him…watching everything in the bunker…is just painful. I didn’t like watching the bunker scenes at all because they were filled with so much culty cray cray and hurt thrust upon Kabby that it made me uncomfortable. Good…I should not watch Wonkru’s death pit and feel good about it. I should feel creepy crawlies about what’s transpired down there.

Speaking of creepy crawlies…

WHAT. THE. FUCK. HAPPENED. IN. THE. DARK. YEAR. QUESTION. MARK. EXCLAMATION. POINT.

Reunions, Reunions Everywhere! Come Get Your Hot, Fresh Reunions!

Goddamn, this episode wasn’t pulling any emotional punches and thank god it didn’t. We finally see Clarke and Bellamy back together after six years. Bellamy was certain he’d never see Clarke again because she was presumed dead, and Clarke had to have been worried that something went wrong on the Ark after they didn’t return to earth after five years. So it’s no wonder that these two clasp ahold of each other as if they can’t believe the other is corporeal.

While I love this reunion, the one that really got me in the feels was Clarke and Raven. Not even in the same room together, I got hit straight in the heart stings by Raven’s reaction. The look on her face, and thanking Clarke for saving them…Princess Mechanic has been a dynamic I’ve loved over the years, even when I’ve felt this friendship has been underserved a bit in previous seasons. I hope we get more of Raven and Clarke and Clarke and Murphy, who uttered the line I head cannoned almost immediately after the season 4 finale. OF COURSE there was going to be a “and they say I’M the cockroach” joke. I love it.

I always long for more interaction between Clarke and Murphy and Clarke and Raven. I know not all of these relationships can get screen time, but there’s still a lot of emotional depths to plumb, especially after six years of evolution and change. Tearing characters apart and putting them through the ringer then bringing them back together again affords the opportunity to explore new aspects of character interactions, and I hope we just get more of those great character moments.

Speaking of reunions…

Welcome to My Death Bunker Horror Show Beautiful Home!

Bellamy makes a deal with Diyoza to use their mining equipment to open up the bunker. The first person to rappel down is, of course, big brother Bellamy, who is greeted by his sister, who is so totally not a murderous cult leader now.

We get to see Octavia reemerge for all of two seconds as she embraces Bellamy. Blink and you’ll miss her. That might be the last we see of Octavia because she’s Blodreina now…even Miller, her OG friend from the dropship, calls her by this title. It’s JARRING. These old friends from the bunker are a welcome sight, but also a bit off. It’s like re-connecting with old friends on Facebook and they eventually want to get together with you to talk about a great work-from-home opportunity. They look the same, but they’re Stepfordy now and it’s awkward.

I’m tellin’ y’all…if Miller starts evangelizing about a skin care line, BEWARE.

When Clarke rappels down moments after Bellamy, she’s much quicker on the uptake when she realizes she’s literally in a pit covered in blood and weapons, with spectators on all sides.

It’s only after Octavia goes to awkwardly greet Clarke…

…that Bellamy starts taking a look around and begins to understand what’s been going on in the rotunda for six years.

Something’s definitely fucked up about this place.

Diyoza and McCreary both come down as well and while Diyoza seems unfazed, I get the feeling that McCreary might be a little into what Octavia has done with the place.

I really enjoyed all the reunions that we got after opening up the bunker, especially between Bellamy and Octavia and Clarke and Octavia. Clarke and Abby left me feeling a bit cold because Abby isn’t really Abby…she’s a junkie right now and I wonder how much the drugs are affecting her decisions. Especially the decision to go with the Eligius crew at the end of the episode. Yes, it was a chance to save Kane, but why was she so willing to part from Clarke that quickly?

The somewhat lukewarm reunion between Clarke and Octavia is very interesting to me. No, I didn’t expect warm hugs all around, given the history between these two (remember, Clarke’s last notable action towards Octavia was stealing the bunker out from under her). There is so much tension and unspoken conflict in this relationship that I hope gets to play out this season. These two have never really had it out and Madi might be the chess piece that Octavia uses to further her own agenda (whatever that may be outside of war) while screwing over Clarke. I am here for this conflict and for them finally having it out. Throw down, ladies!

So let’s talk a little about the episode’s title, “Pandora’s Box.” It’s obvious that cracking open the bunker is a metaphor for opening up Pandora’s Box. The story is that once opened, a whole bunch of bad stuff escapes into the world – death, sickness, evil. Pandora hastily closes the box once she realizes what’s being unleashed onto the world, only to prevent the last thing from escaping – hope.

It’s kinda interesting to note that the box was originally a jar, turned into a box through a mistranslation. The Eligius crew break into the bunker in the high ceiling directly above the fighting pit. The pit itself is at the bottom of a large, round room. Sorta shaped like a jar, if one had to describe it in such terms.

What I find interesting is that the bunker is the symbol of Pandora’s Box, meaning that all the bad shit loosed upon the world is coming from this bunker. From Wonkru. From Octavia. That’s quite the statement to make regarding what the Bunker people have become, because it’s not like the Eligius crew is a bunch of choirboys and girls. If Wonkru is the evil coming from Pandora’s Box…what does the Eligius crew represent? A sleeping giant is vaguely threatening. You don’t want to wake a sleeping giant…but this group seems to have a lot less glue holding it together than Wonkru, and we’ve seen some rumblings of a coup. Diyoza has a huge goat rodeo to try and control. Good luck, girl!

Another bit of an aside, I really love the use of light and darkness when Bellamy descends into the bunker. He’s bathed in light and cannot see into the darkness, where Octavia and everyone else is just out of sight…I don’t think this is a mere visual trick. It’s symbolic. When Octavia is pulled up, she rises up in the light, towards freedom, towards the heavens. It’s almost Christ-like. Which again, I don’t think is simply a cool visual. Consider her S5 poster:

When I saw it, I immediately thought “goddamn if that isn’t a post-resurrection Christ pose.” Bathed in light, palms out to display his Crucifixion wounds…it’s a very familiar visual from my Catholic school days.

Now am I saying that Octavia is Christ? Hell no…but displaying her as a religious figure makes sense, especially given how devoted her people are to her. She’s the object of a belief system that resembles religion, especially if Gaia had a hand in its formation. And like any dogmatic system, it could prove to be dangerous in the hands of zealots and fanatics. She is also, in a sense, resurrected as she emerges from the bunker…or her tomb, if you will. All of Wonkru is freed from their underground crypt…from the ashes they did indeed rise.

Octavia presented as a mythological figure fits her character arc, especially considering her past. Octavia was brought up on a steady diet of mythology literature…she knows the power of larger than life figures and of choices that can bring down gods.

Stupid Sexy Dangerous Eligius

I liked the Eligius crew last week. I like the Eligius crew this week. And though they got double-crossy and murdery and I STILL LIKE THEM.

I’m a garbage person, I accept this, but I know you, dear reader, love them too. Join me in my abode.

BYOB.

Okay y’all, we had several mysteries last week from this group, but now we find out they need a doctor to find a cure for something…cure for what? Is it something to do with cryosleep? Did they find something out in space that they need to deal with? Where is home? I’m assuming Diyoza is talking about the valley they’ve claimed as their own, but it’s still on odd term to use for some place they’ve been for all of a hot minute.

And what’s the deal with Diyoza and McCreary? I kinda get a vibe that they might have hooked up. Is it just me?

I know…how heteronormative of me.

There are times when he’s almost…not completely McMurdery around her. Not often, and certainly not enough data to really say it’s a thing, but I think there’s more to this adversarial relationship than meets the eye. When Szybunka approaches McCreary to suggest overthrowing Diyoza, McCreary seems to be planning something…or is he merely trying to appease him?

McCreary later shoots Szybunka in the head after Szybunka disobeys orders and vaporizes one of Octavia’s people. Is this a punishment for disobeying orders? Is he getting rid of a weak link in planning a coup? Or is he preventing Szybunka’s eventual betrayal of Diyoza? Hard to know right now what McCreary’s motivation is here without knowing anything about his and Diyoza’s backstory.

We also see more of Zeke this episode…just a moment, we’re interrupting our regularly scheduled review to bring you this update…

Zeke is not his first name anymore. Apparently it’s Miles. I’M SHOOK.

I guess according to JRoth there were legal reasons for changing his name from Zeke Shaw to Miles Shaw. I know this is hard for the fandom to accept as we’ve taken him into our bosom as Zeke. For a while it created some confusion for me because there’s a Deke Shaw on Agents of SHIELD. I’m getting old, I can’t even keep my dogs’ names straight, so maybe this is a good thing.

ANYHOO, Shaw and Raven get into a little cyber flirt when they both try to circumvent the other. Shaw is clearly impressed with our girl Raven, who, with style and panache, throws up her Raven symbol from season 3 to let us know she’s not messing around. MY GIRL GOT SHAW ON LOCK DOWN. This is Raven Reyes we’re talkin’ about. Child, please.

It’s apparent that Shaw isn’t exactly on Team Diyoza and has some sort of moral code. He doesn’t think outrightly killing folks is the best thing to do. I 100% believe he faked not being able to launch those missiles. Oh sweetie…do you know what show you’re on? Go check it out on Netflix and report back once you’ve realized that until you’ve racked up a body count into the hundreds, you ain’t shit.

One of the things we find out this episode is that there have been four Eligius ships. First one was unmanned, and exploratory ship. Second was a mining expedition, but undermanned for the job. Forth one, well we know it’s a mining vessel full of prisoners for all the hard labor. But Eligius III? All data is about that mission is encrypted. THERE’S A MYSTERY AFOOT!

We know this ship had nightbloods on it…that was mentioned when Diyoza and Shaw saw Clarke’s blood. We can also assume it had cryosleep technology since both were created by Becca. But what happened to that ship? Why is all information protected? I love these little clues that keep getting dropped for us to mull over. I can tell you what most people think: ALIENS. Because at this point, why not?

I Can’t Stop Loving Diyoza. Sorry Not Sorry.

Am I still in love with Charmaine Diyoza? You bet your sweet ass I am. Last episode I thought that while dangerous and not to be fucked with, she was pragmatic and reasonable to an extent.

This episode she went back on her word to Bellamy, after working behind the scenes to circumvent his leverage. Not cool, Diyoza.

(that’s okay i still love you shhhhh don’t tell)

While 283 sleeping prisoners is a lot of people, what exactly do they mean to her? Why care about this group of people? She’s protective of them even before it’s apparent that there’s a big threat she needs to contend with in Wonkru. We don’t know if she’s aware at this point that they and Wonkru make up the last remaining contingent of humankind. Clarke never got through her whole story, so Diyoza’s concern over the 283 prisoners may have nothing to do with ensuring the continued existence of the human race and genetic diversity. What is it then?

You know, perhaps Diyoza just doesn’t have an off switch. She was a Navy SEAL, y’all. That’s INTENSE. Then she was a domestic terrorist…like DOUBLE INTENSE. Now she’s ostensibly the leader of this rag tag prisoner army, upon which she seems to impose some sort of rank and file to since Shaw takes orders from her and McCreary sometimes is a good boy and listens to her.

I still wanna know how she became the leader of all these murdery bad asses. I suspect she had a stare-down with the biggest dog in the yard and that big dog withered under her glare. Y’all…you see how she looks at people? You want her to look at YOU like that? She is S.E.R.I.O.U.S.

(omg i luv her)

While I was disappointed in her decision to renege on her deal with Bellamy, it didn’t surprise me one bit. I know what show I’m watching. Nobody calls splitsies on the one last patch of green on earth and sees that plan through!

I loved her interaction with both Blakes, but her squaring up against Octavia was riveting. Diyoza sizing Octavia up was awesome. She’s so fucking cool under pressure and is assured that she’s the baddest bitch in the room. Octavia has a nice death pit and all, but she doesn’t have devastating sonic weapons that can break up rocks, destroy buildings, or turn humans into pink mist.

Let’s just say I am all about this Octavia/Diyoza face off. I think it’s positively delicious. Give me all the drama and conflict and tension (may some of it be sexual!) you can!

IT ME. It so very me. I AM A MESSY BENCH.

The Raven and the Cockroach

I love this dynamic so, so much. In my last review, I said that these two probably know each other the best at their core. There’s no pretense between these two because their bullshit detectors are set so high and each other knows it. They’re able to be honest and raw in a way I would never have thought possible after early seasons.

Murphy has this brilliant way of putting his foot in his mouth with people, but I love when he does it this episode with Raven and immediately recognizes he fucked up. It leads to some great dialog between these two, with Murphy willing to be the one that kills the prisoners, understanding that it’s something Raven is unable to do. And I love that about him. Not only did he stay behind because he wondered why Raven should be the one to sacrifice herself again, but he’s willing to bear the burden of actively killing 283 people.

When Murphy says he’ll pull the lever, we hear a distant roar from earth. It’s Clarke..

NO ONE TOUCHES THE LEVER. LEVERS BELONG TO CLARKE.

God, it’s like Murphy doesn’t even watch The 100.

When Raven and Murphy have to face death or self-preservation, they choose the later, but that means awakening all the sleeping giants. And those sleeping giants look like meanies! It’s going to get worse up on the Eligius before it gets better.

The Dark Year

Okay, but what if it’s just the year Octavia got REALLY into jam bands due to Kara’s awful influence and Kane was able to pull her out of it but now Octavia’s all like “don’t EVER mention Dave Matthews AGAIN!”?

Because, honestly, what’s darker than being into jam bands?

**I suddenly remember prog rock exists** nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…….

Being Bellamy Blake

Guys, did y’all think that Diyoza was really going to share half of Eden with Bellamy and co.?

I don’t know what Bellamy thought would happen either, but you go to war with the army you have, not the army you want. Do I think that Bellamy was naive enough to think things would go according to plan? No…he even says as much to Octavia when he says he doesn’t trust Diyoza. But leverage. He has it. Until he doesn’t.

Bellamy and Spacekru were never in much of a superior position to begin with, only banking on Diyoza caring about the prisoners still aboard the Eligius. But he knew he had Raven’s smarts and could bank on that to get him enough time to bargain with Prisonkru. There’s a fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants quality to Bellamy’s plan that works where it can. Again, until it doesn’t.

I daresay I can’t think of a better improvisational plan to bargain for their lives with Diyoza than what he comes up with, and remember he has the counsel of Raven, Murphy, Echo, and the others to listen to. He does the best with what he has.

That Octavia immediately blames Bellamy for things going south is pretty much Octavia’s brand. To which I say:

What other plan could have gotten Octavia and Wonkru out of that bunker? Was Bellamy to pull mining equipment out of his ass? I understand Octavia’s anger and frustration, but taking it out on Bellamy felt immature of her, a reminder that perhaps Blodreina is still very much an emotionally stunted girl who grew up under the floor and didn’t get the socialization she needed to properly and rationally address her situation with the appropriate reactions. She needed peer interaction, not Ovid and isolation.

I have a feeling this is going to be me to Octavia for much of the season:

She’ll need to take responsibility not only for how she reacts to things, but for what she’s become and while her metamorphosis into this Red Queen might have saved lives, what did it turn those lives, including her own, into?

Put on a Pot of Coffee, We Goin’ to War!

We kinda knew from previews and whatnot that season 5 would be about a war for Eden. One garden…two serpents (we assume Octavia and Diyoza, but that seems almost too simplistic for now).

What’s interesting is two big forces are at play here, and neither of them are being directed or led by Clarke or Bellamy. Instead we have Octavia leading Wonkru and Diyoza leading Team Eligius. It’s strange to see Clarke on the sidelines of a conflict.

At the same time, it’s kinda nice to see Clarke in a position where she has to react instead of proactively make some sweeping decision that affects a great many people. With Madi to protect, her decisions are likely to be very personal and she may even back off from trying to assert herself as a leader.

Bellamy has been a leader, but seems he’ll get swept up in whatever Octavia is doing, trying his best to dissuade her from making mistakes along the way. What I don’t see happening is Bellamy getting through to Blodreina. I suspect there will be political in-fighting between those close to Blodreina and Bellamy. He might only have his sister’s well-being at the forefront of his mind now, especially if he sees she’s losing her soul to this Red Queen role she’s carved out for herself.

How Bell and Clarke figure into this war and what side(s) they come down on will likely lead to more juicy conflict. I’m here for it. You know I love this shit. I may scream obscenities at my TV while watching some of this shit play out, but that’s PASSION, folks.

No, For Reals Though, What In the Ever-Lovin’ Fuck Happened in the “Dark Year”?!

[indistinct screaming]

[more indistinct screaming]

Deathwatch 2018

From week to week, I’m ranking characters by likelihood two die in two buckets: gonna die and long shots. Dead characters of note are in the “May We Meet Again” category.

Not a lot of movement on my Deathwatch lists, but just a bit of solidifying of my gut instincts. Kane almost moved up, but I’d say he and Abby and neck and neck. They’re both hot messes, let’s be honest. I love Kabby, but they’ve seen better days.

Sure Bets, One of These Peeps Is Dyin’

Abby

Kane

Kara

Echo

McCreary

Loooooooooooooong Shots, Place Yer Bets!

Raven

Murphy

Ethan

Monty

Bellamy

May We Meet Again

Jaha – he was number 1 on my Sure Bet to die board, though I take no pleasure in being right…it was a sorta easy read based on social media. Jaha was an interesting, complex, often infuriating figure in this universe, so RIP.

Raven Reyes Nookie Watch 2018

Welcome back to Raven Reyes Nookie Watch 2018! Along with Deathwatch 2018, this is a recurring feature of upmost importance. It’s all about the nookie!

No nookie was acquired this episode, but we had a long-distance meet cute with Shaw. Hackers trying to hack and counter-hack one another may not be your cup of flirt tea, but it’s as close as Raven’s got to foreplay in six years. WE’LL TAKE IT.

RAVEN REYES NOOKIE ALERT LEVEL: There’s a wee thin crack in the ice

Private Jennifer, reporting for duty. Let’s do this!

Parting Thoughts

Slarke is my ride or die ship – that’s Clarke + soap. I’m concerned because she’s starting to look a bit grungy.

Where the rest of Spacekru and Madi at? I guess still over in Eden, which worries me now that Prisonkru has claimed it as theirs.

“No no no no no…you just opened Pantera’s Box!” – Nick Miller. I’ll miss you, New Girl.

I’m fuckin’ in love with Murphy’s hair.

Can someone help Raven with her ponytail? Those two long strands of stray hair make her look like an anime character.

WHERE IS NIYLAH?! I hope Wonkru didn’t eat her.

I already miss McCreary’s beanie.

Like, Miller calling Octavia “Blodreina” was weird, right? It’s not just me?

Do you think the Eligius III is still out there somewhere?

You’re goddamn right I used a Teddy Perkins GIF in this review. If I can’t sleep after seeing that Atlanta episode, you’re not either.

The dark year, tho…WHAT IS IT?!

TWEET/RETWEET: If you enjoyed this review, please share, retweet, or like it on twitter.

SPOTIFY PLAYLIST OF THE 100 MUSIC!: Hey people who like sounds entering your ear holes! I have a Spotify playlist, which is music from and inspired by The 100. You can find it right here and marvel at my musical tastes. I keep it up to date with anything featured on the show or in promos.

FINAL VERDICT!

“Pandora’s Box”: 9.0 out of 10 people bursting into pink mist…ewwww!

There are some The 100 reviewers/recaps/writers you should absolutely be reading, and I offer them up for your enjoyment; I have no affiliation with any of them, save for being a fan:

Selina Wilken – a mix of passionate fandom and truly professional journalism.

Erin Brown – unfairly beautiful writing. Like seriously, stop being so good.

McKenzie Morrell – recapping her damn face off and great interviews with the cast!

Toni_watches – piss your goddamn pants hilarious photo recaps.

Jo Garfein – great fandom charity auctions.

Disclosure: this is my own indie site. This is on my time, my dime. Becho is endgame.

Several months later…

You are Wonkru or you are the enemy of Wonkru. Choose.

The 100 – “Pandora’s Box” Review and Analysis Yet another episode of The 100 where things go swimmingly, 100% according to plan, with no hiccups and DEFINITELY no wars being declared.

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