#This is just my dysphoria hitting me

[qourmet]

This is the prettiest lz I’ve drawn to-date

I know an 🥚 when I see one, sir

In reference to @/floreswrites’ A Home (Not a Prison)

#mdzs #wangxian #pregnancy #gender dysphoria #sex swap #fanart #my art #they’re doing their best I have faith they’ll figure it out eventually #really tho I was having a lot of fun with Flores’ fem!yllz & lz pov inner dialogue #cos wwx is Just as unhinged as ever & lz is lz #but then they hit me with the genderqueer egg in the latest chapter & I couldn’t get it out of my head

[brothersonahotelbed]

nico you're the best boy ever and don't you forget it <3 you're handsome and you are so fucking good at playing guitar and your voice is angelic (like i'm being so serious i could fall asleep to it every day it's so beautiful/handsome). you're so funny and kind and you deserve everything good! ily mwah mwah never forget what you're capable of because you are so strong and so brave about everything <333

SNIFFLES. OKAY. I LOVE YOU.

#Anonymous #i just had to set my phone down and do some deep breaths👍 when the kindness and validation hit....oh boy #i love you. thank you so much wha ttha hell #and complimenting my voice too it's so funny because today i was having the worst voice dysphoria so this really helped me :'] #god. 🥴🚬

[sealwomyn]

Female Icons, Ancestral Mothers

I thought some of my sister Goddess tumbloggers might enjoy this -- I have this poster in my house and I really love it, I got it here from the amazing Suppressed Histories Archive.

#goddess #herstory #suppressed histories archive #ancestral mothers #female icons #goddess blogging #herstory blogging #max dashu who runs suppressed histories archive is great if you don't follow her i highly recommend her patreon or 'matreon' and her SHA fb #yes i know links fuck with the algorithm idc this is for my followers <3 #i saw some of these statues in person at the art institute of chicago and they should be in the hands of descendants and enshrined tbh #a plaque just does not cut it #when i saw certain ones it hit me so painfully that they are stolen #but anyway this poster is one of my strong anti dysphoria medicines.. i love to see all the weird female shapes our ancestors carved #just realized the link just opened the image lol fixed it

[miodiodavinci]

(head in hands) man.

#i’m laying in bed trying to sleep but suddenly got the urge to look for that old render of crevan using warp.exe #but to find it i had to dig through my entire crevan tag and just #really hit me just How much i don’t like crevan sgkfgdsjfk #like not in a ‘aw man this voicebank could be so much better :(‘ kind of way #but in a ‘i am physically no longer the same person i was when i made her’ kind of way #in a ‘i don’t know if i ever really liked her or if she was just one big running bit i had because i was so scared of being cringe’ #kind of way #because let’s be real #there are very few moments in that tag where i’m not purposefully distancing myself from the things i liked #and being unnecessarily mean and snarky instead so i’d somehow ‘be better’ for not ‘giving in’ #whether to the temptation to be honest and genuine or the temptation to do the sorts of silly things i actually wanted to do #maybe a huge portion of it is also that i hadn’t figured out i was gay or trans yet #and felt the need to curate this horrible she/her creature to try to rectify the gender dysphoria i was feeling #but yeah #doesn’t feel great honestly #i love being open and kind and honest with what i love #and i don’t think i can ever really relate to crevan’s old ‘purposefully mean and cruel and antagonistic’ schtick #now that i’ve gone about that change #anyway sghlfsfjdg

[saintlesbian]

hm. having a mini gender crisis in the middle of my shift again

#pentababbles #good LORD is this getting annoying #got hit by a sudden dysphoria attack while talking to a girl and had to ask myself: #am I a trans guy or just really really butch?? #like I feel. othered. from cishet women with my alternate lifestyle in spite of both sharing space with them AND being attracted to them #even though I know they see me as one of them so immediately I am Not a Threat despite not performing femininity very well #and I feel no communion or comraderie with cishet men. despite longing to emulate aspects of their performances #I don’t really wanna be seen as a ‘man’ but I don’t wanna be seen as a woman either #to women I want to be seen as an object of attraction. to my friends I want to be seen as masc. to men I want to be seen as a threat #and these things don’t all automatically line up with being a man… #I think I would be more comfortable with femininity if I was at least allowed to be masculine first. #like. I NEED to go shopping in the men’s section so so bad #I’d really like to start taking t. on a low dose #just for a little while then stop once I achieve certain permanent changes I want (low voice + bottom growth) #I wanna get back into exercising to trim some fat #specifically the fat in more feminine areas. I really want that Britney Griner type chest #I’ve also contemplated the name ‘Abraham’ for my irls to call me when I feel less femme #kinda like my butch bartender oc Quincy except I’m. not that muscular and not a she/her #although I’d probably be more comfortable with she/her if I wasn’t forced into femininity so often #I think at the end of the day though. I’m not a trans guy just a weird dyke #bc I like feminine labels specifically in a lesbian manner: I’m okay with being called girlfriend or wife but not with daughter or sister #I’m dykegender. does all that make sense

[dykefaggotry]

gender rant under the cut

good things abt testosterone and passing: do not often get called a woman or miss/ma'am, get called sir, getting closer every day to my gender goals (I just want to look like jack black/meatloaf/laszlo from wwdits), terms like "boyfriend" are very gender euphoric, overall much much happier with my physical appearance

bad things abt testosterone and passing: constantly assumed to be a gay man despite that being so far from my sexuality. this in itself is fine up until I start to get to know people and explicitly tell them many times that I am not a man, I do not like being referred to as a man, and I do not like binary men and yet everyone Still constantly refers to me as a man and acts like I have no experience liking women (including cracking jokes abt how much I wouldn't understand liking women. laughing my fucking ass off.) and as if I have not, do not, and could never experience misogyny, never or rarely feeling welcomed in spaces w women, etc etc

like don't get me wrong being called a woman gives me the same amount of dysphoria but it happens much less now and this kind of dysphoria is incredibly infuriating bc it's usually done by other queer people who unquestionably support gender conforming afab people's genders/sexuality but god forbid the bitch w a beard tries to say they're a dyke that likes women bc obviously he's just a silly little smol gay boy!!

#never knew how much dysphoria being called a man would cause me until it happens constantly now and I feel like hitting people with brooms #what's even more annoying is I can't express this to my family at all bc they're already confused and I think #if I tried to explain to them that I am simply a gender queer butch dyke who likes other gnc people and wants to look like jack black #their heads would explode #so I have to just keep letting them assume I'm a Binary Trans Man and it's simply. exhausting #esp bc my mom would insist I shouldn't be on t or get top surgery if I'm ✨still a woman✨ #which I'm not but that's immediately how she'd take it

[nudibutch]

okay real talk. for those into any form of pain play and/or impact play? how do you distinguish between like. wanting it because you Want it vs. wanting it because you feel like either 1. you genuinely deserve it (punishment or the best youll get) or 2. its the best you have to offer your partner?

#i was just really thinking about this last night and.... #there are some levels of pain that i really do genuinely enjoy and i know arent associated with what im asking #a good example is scratching or biting #but there are occasionally more intense things i fantasize about like being restrained and hit with an implement and at first im like #yeah thats hot #but then im not really sure if im wanting it in the same This Is Pleasurable way or if im wanting it in the #This Is The Best You Can Really Get or #in my case being stone like #it occurred to me that pain is 1. a cleaner/more distinct signal to me. nervous system wise #cause of dysphoria and whatever fucking else is going on with my body a lot of pleasure just gets lost in translation #but pain is like ok point of contact direct to brain #and also like. i would express more. outwardly. obviously. with pain #and i dont know if me wanting that is my brain trying to say #well if you cant really give your partner an expression of pleasure #your dick is fake you cant feel that very well and otherwise touches are very hard to translate to arousal #then the better you Can give them is. your pain #and idk if im overthinking it or what or if like #my brain is saying oh well if you cant feel it tender even though you want to you Want to feel it tender #guess youll have to feel it rough instead #which im not sure i.... like #anyway. if you made it this far. thanks for reading HAJDKGKH #my inbox is open if u have comments suggestions insight etc. #slug.personal

[birdclowns]

.

#hit with the dysphoria train tonight oh boy oh boy #the world would be better if i wouldve been born amab i think <3 #id still be nb but y'know. i wouldnt wanna go on t #maybe i should. ask my therapist abt that. hm. hmmmmmmm. #ugh #just wanna draw boys and not feel bad that thats not me #cee was right maybe it is bedtime #i talk

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

#today's one of those very embarrassing and shameful days #where i can't look at a trans man without being filled with the most horrible envy and sadness #i obviously can't hate a person for living their truth and being happy about it #i am happy for them as well #but in the back of my mind there's a horrible darkness and hate that scares me and makes me feel so guilty #i don't think i've ever outwardly shown that (why would i?) but it's in there #the envy and jelousy is in there #and i know it is very much a ME problem. it's about my own anxieties and my own lack of self worth #but i don't know what to do about it idk how not to feel this way #and i hate it #so what do i do? nothing... just avoid looking or reading or thinking about trans men on T until it passes #but damn! the dysphoria and hopelessness is hitting hard today... #(but one good thing i did about it today at least was changing my name on linkedin lol) #personal #angel talks

[echo-s-land]

Transitioning so that my family stop pestering me for getting rid of my hair to fit social conventions

Also I'd look sick as a bear i know it

#im a copy of my father i just need to hit the gym #also for gender dysphoria reason but like thats a shitpost pls treat it like one #im very hairy unfortunately. so ppl dont like me since elementary school. i learnt to not give a shit but its still annoying

[zapsoda]

i know im like predisposed to mental health issues. and this is entirely my own hubris. but i just cant imagine myself getting post op depression after top surgery

#i have wanted it since day one since i knew it existed. since before then honestly #every single aspect of it has been terrible and unpleasant with zero upsides #my mother insisted on me explaining my dysphoria to her in the beginning and she tried so hard to relate to it #“are you sure its not just the size‚ a lot of girls go through that” #YES. I AM SURE #ALWAYS HAVE BEEN #i was sure even before i hit puberty. isnt that insane? #that the thought of going through female puberty was so viscerally disturbing and painful and anxiety inducing to me? #i never even accepted that it would happen until it did. painfully (in the literal‚ physical sense) #can you believe i ever doubted that i was trans ahahhahaha #once when i was maybe 8 a friend i had tried to get me to stuff my shirt “just to see” and the thought was genuinely horrifying #i agreed to it because she kept asking and badgering me and i hated every milisecond i could not tolerate it for even one

[bloodystray]

ohhhhhh it's getting harder

#new record for how long after waking up the dysphoria hits: 18 minutes #its actively painful to use my usual tumblr and twitter because just seeing depictions of people cis or trans makes me suicidal #i dont rlly know what to do any more lol. i could push for a few years and try to stay on hrt but im gonna be honest #it rlly isnt gonna fix me #im just so on the edge rn. why bother? why push through years of discomfort just so i can make my dick stop working and put on more weight #its not going to make me feel small or cute or pretty im going to feel like a fucking troll #im honestly just considering giving up and redoing all my shit to just be male catboy whatever #at least then it's just me coping abt not being skinny #i need to fuxkin die already

[viktortittiforov]

i like my body. i like the "feminine" aspects of it. i like presenting femme sometimes. there's no problem there. the problem is . that sometimes and especially with men or people with penises i want to be seen + treated as a man during sex. but like i am small. and don't look how our society imagines men look like. so it's a difficult thing to ask of others to like completely see me that way sometimes but also not at other times. why can't i just change my form at will !!

#don't mind me this is just a random gender rant #like on one hand i want to get top surgery and hrt and also hit the gym more so i'm more ripped or whatever. i really really want that i do #but i also like my current body. a lot. i really enjoy it !!! it brings me joy too #i just have dysphoria about the social expectations/meanings ascribed to it 🥲 #this makes it very hard to figure out if i want to medically transition . btw . #i'm not rushing the decision i know i don't need to and it's ok i'm taking my time letting it simmer etc but #it's frustrating #porque no los dos :( #i'm nonbinary btw not a man ! or even transmasc thanks #neptalks

[r3dships]

Thinking about how height difference relationships are always seen as cute and hot when the short one is a woman but not when the short one is a guy. The rare times it is seen as cute and hot with a short guy, the short one has to be a skinny hairless twink

I'm totally not self-conscious as a short fat guy what do you mean haha

#the height dysphoria is hitting really hard right now #my friend was making a bunch of jokes about how short i am and it just got to me #i thought i could take it #♡ my posts #♡ venting

[cleaningbones]

need to buy sum boxers so bad

#THE DYSPHORIA IS KILLING ME OH MY GODDDDDD #like I know everything I need to buy I just take forever with it bc a) I'm trying to save money and b) I still live w my parents #like idk they're gonna find that shit lying around the house and then they'll ask questions and I hate talking abt being trans yk #because they don't understand and it's frustrating bc ik they love me and they want the best for me #but they don't know that THIS is this the best for me #sorry for trans venting on main the dysphoria's rlly hitting hard rn

[srldesigns6277]

.

#this is tmi #i just needed to rant #i hate that fucking depression drop in the middle of your period #yes im aware i should be thankful it doesnt give me too much dysphoria #but my god its so fun to have a not bad day then tl be hit with a wall of depression thoughts #about how much i suck or how much i bother peopke #its not as if i didnt know that already thoughts #i am aware im extremely lucky in finding my gf because i havw no friends #im a teacher who can talk to anyone about most things but there arent connections there #im thankful on here some people are willing to put up with how bothersome i can be #something im eternally grateful for but i feel like im always a bother #who cant do shit right #if i could id probably have a fulltime job by now #alright scattered rant done #thanks for reading if you did