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busy-baker · 7 days

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And here it is, folks. Astarion’s first morning as a father. This is branching off from my series Thicker Than Water. Enjoy!

Astarion recounts his first morning as a father while Tav is resting. His thoughts wander to when he first found about their little one.

f!Tav x Astarion

Word Count: 1.4k

The light creak of the wooden floorboards beneath Astarion’s feet caused the high elf to pause, teeth gritting and eyes scrunching.

He looked back to where his beloved rested in their bed. Her hair was tangled and splayed about, an arm was flopped over her eyes and her night dress was wrinkled and shifted, slightly exposing her. He snorted at the image, but he also thought she never looked more beautiful.

Next to where they sought the comfort of each other’s arms every night was now a bassinet. It was adorned with all the frills you could imagine. Astarion made sure of that.

His falter in sneaking must have been a bit too loud because he noticed a stirring coming from the bassinet.

Attempting a second chance at redemption, the vampire tiptoed, as to not disturb his wife, and leaned over the small bed.

Astarion found his breath taken away every time he laid his eyes upon his newborn daughter. She was quite the miracle and shared an uncanny likeness to him, not that he would know. He was simply basing it off of what Tav had said.

His little one did give him one gift he was eternally grateful for and that was the ability to see a glimpse of his former self in her green eyes. He would fall to his knees with just one look from her and he didn’t care how powerless that made him seem.

The tiny babe didn’t fuss as he reached pallid hands into the bassinet and gently lifted her to cradle in his arms. She didn’t root or whine so she wasn’t in need of feeding.

Maybe a changing? The spawn thought.

He had watched Tav and Jaheira demonstrate how to change the dhampir. His nose turned up at the thought but he had fought horrid beasts in the past. Surely, he was quite capable of replacing a diaper. He silently thanked the gods he was blessed with a daughter so there was less of a threat of his clothing being soiled during the process.

After ten minutes, three different diapers, and attaching and reattaching the pins multiple times, Astarion admired his handiwork. He would be doing this with his eyes closed in no time. Well, maybe not the safety pinning.

He raised Juniper so she laid on his shoulder, her face towards his, and he took a seat in the armchair near the corner of her room.

Sunlight streamed through the window as it broke through the clouds. The warmth felt nice against his face and bare torso compared to the frigid chill of the previous day’s blizzard. His daughter’s face snuggled in closer to him and he smiled at her cheek smushing against where the heat settled on his cool skin.

“It’s lovely, isn’t it?” He whispered into her hair, kissing lightly, “And now we can share it together.”

His little one offered no response other than a wide yawn and a blink. Her eyes wandered around his face as his hand stroked slowly up and down the length of her back.

Astarion Ancunín was a father. If someone had dared to utter that statement not long ago, it may have caused the vampire’s undead heart to reanimate itself only to die out once again from a heart attack.

It was such an unwelcome thought in the one or two times it had wriggled its way into his head. Children were nasty creatures. They whined and cried and were often sticky for unknown reasons. Why anyone would choose to bear such a thing he never understood. As much as he hated his curse of vampirism, he was thankful it prevented him from ever producing a child. Or so he thought it would.

Tav’s words floored him the day she revealed she was pregnant. Astarion felt his soul begin to sink into the deep depths where he shoved all his darkness away, where his old self lay waiting to resurface with the mildest inconvenience. He had worked hard to become better for her and for himself. Granted, he was still cynical and could be quite the bastard without his daily blood.

His words towards her were venomous. Part of him wanted them to cut deep and to feel how he felt, that their lives would be over as they were just beginning, but then he watched as the light left her eyes. He hadn’t realized there was a flicker of hope in them until the last spark of it went out.

His love. His fearsome and resilient love wanted this child that they had made together. Of course she did. She worshipped the ground he walked on even when he couldn’t fathom a reason why.

But would he be sufficient? He was nothing more than a glorified hero. The only reason others looked up to him is because he happened to be part of a group that stood against the Absolute. A simple matter of right place at the right time.

Not to mention his past continued to haunt him with Cazador’s words echoing through his mind in random thoughts and never ending nightmares.

His detest towards the idea of a child turned into fear of ruining one, raising a twisted version of himself to continue on a lineage of self destruction.

The pale elf left his wife to herself for that evening, returning only when he was stumbling through the door of their home, inebriated from a few wild boars. She refused to be by his side as he went to her in bed and one look from her in the kitchen and he knew he deserved every bit of scolding she threw his way.

Tav never once yelled though. She never spat in his direction and told him what a lousy father he would be. She was pissed off, rightfully so, but she remained composed. She waited for his words and in that moment, Astarion knew he wanted nothing more than to have a little family with her.

Every single day leading up to the birth of their little one was spent cherishing the woman who gave him the most unexpected miracle of his life. They weren’t all easy but they were all completely worth it.

Astarion’s pointed ears perked up and his eyes shot open as the door of Juniper’s bedroom slowly opened. His wife walked in, looking more refreshed than when he had last seen her, about an hour ago from his estimates of the sun’s rays.

She smiled as she approached him, taking his cheek into her hand and brushing her thumb lightly over his lips. He leaned into her touch, turning to kiss her palm.

The elf bent before him, moving the hand that held his face to caress the silver hair of their daughter. Her lips pressed the softest of kisses to the baby’s head, then cheek and finally the tip of her blushed ear.

Juniper let out a small, content sigh as if to acknowledge her mother’s touch, never awaking from her reverie.

“You’ve never looked more beautiful, Astarion,” his wife said, echoing his thoughts of her from before.

Smirking, he replied, “Fatherhood? Is that what gets you going?”

Tav rolled her eyes at his comment but couldn’t contain her giggle. A genuine smile broke out across the rogue’s face at her laughter. It was a joy to hear every time, especially when he was the one bringing it forth.

Juniper began to squirm against him at the sound of her mother’s voice. Her tiny lips started to press at his chest, her face squishing into him as she tried to find a source of food.

Cradling her into his arms and standing, Astarion was now in front of Tav.

“I believe your mother is better equipped for what you require, my love,” he told the suckling dhampir.

The elf held out her arms, waiting for the hungry babe. Astarion placed a soft peck on his daughter’s nose before shifting her over to his wife. He offered a kiss to her also and then turned to leave the room, giving them some alone time.

Before he could exit, his name was called, beckoning him back in.

“Yes, darling?” He asked, raising an eyebrow, patiently waiting.

“Why is Juniper’s diaper backwards?” Tav questioned, fussing at the newborn’s cloth covering. It did look odd.

Shit, Astarion thought, groaning loudly.

Maybe he will be able to change diapers in dim lighting soon, with a lot of help.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #bg3 astarion #baldurs gate tav #dadstarion #thicker than water #astarion x tav

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kalissimsblog · 15 days

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#thesims4 #storytelling #ts4 #ts4 story #ts4 legacy #thicker than water #ttw #simblr #christian troyer #aubrey lanier #luna sinclair #xavier sinclair

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whenweallvote · 7 months

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Voting Rights, but make it #Olitz’s Version ❤️

#Olitz #scandal #kerry washington #thicker than water #thickerthanwater #olitz fanfiction

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katrinapavela · 7 months

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QTNA: 10 Questions I Would Like Kerry Washington’s Memoir, Thicker Than Water to Answer

Kerry Washington’s memoir, Thicker Than Water, will be available to the masses on the 26th of September, and I have questions that need answers. Well, I would like to have answers. I pre-ordered it in June when it was announced, and I’ll be receiving a second copy when I see her in Manchester in October (Kerry, you better not cancel this leg of the tour. I worry because we’re the only stop that still doesn’t have a confirmed special guest). Before a million reviewers start leaking and the full-court press is unleashed this week, I thought it would be fun to post some of my own questions about Ms. Washington that I hope are answered in Thicker. To be clear, I read the same excerpt on Oprah.com as the rest of y’all. And I won’t be reading any advanced reviews until mine own eyes have completed all 320 pages of Kerry’s words. I am really looking forward to reading it, and hope to recommend it to my Black women-only reading group.

As an actress, I have liked Kerry Washington since I watched Save the Last Dance in the early 2000s. And in each subsequent film I’ve watched that featured her, I’ve felt like Tony Goldwyn (but not as intense): Oh hey, it’s that really great actress and she’s always giving something different. But I never explicitly sought after articles or interviews, preferring to casually enjoy her work instead.

That changed with Scandal. My dedication to the show hedged on its compelling narrative themes. But it was the compelling relationship between Kerry’s Olivia Pope and Tony Goldwyn’s Fitzgerald Grant that created magic. It cast a spell that elicited from me reams of writing about Scandal between 2012-2018. In fact, the series changed the whole trajectory of Kerry Washington’s career (and my life, too ). It also brought significantly more eyes upon her. The first vehicle built around Kerry, Scandal gave her acting space to breathe, develop and shine. I also continued to watch the smattering of films she made during that era (Django Unchained, Peeples, Confirmation), and began reading interviews with her--both before and during Scandal. I began to notice the way in which the availability of information shifted, receded (or removed), and sometimes became opaque under a claim of ‘privacy’ whilst also offering the veneer of accessibility from late 2013 onward. Granted, I do not run any obsequious fan accounts about Kerry, so I know there will be some who try to rattle off any number of things I “should know” because they have inhaled every morsel of information and made its consumption and regurgitation their entire online personality. But I am also not a hater who consumes the actor's every move for the purpose of group chat gossip. I like knowing things about people I admire because I like to find points of connection, perspective, recognition…and differences. I admire Kerry Washington…or what she’s allowed me to see. The problem is, when I think about her, I think about a person who seems good and cares fiercely for her country, family, and other people. She’s well-regarded. She’s funny. She’s stylish. She has a great capacity for information. But.

She also seems secretive, and that’s different from being private. I feel like I know of her, about her. But who is she, really? That lack of clarity is partly by design, of course, due to her profession. Still, I hope Thicker Than Water answers the soul of that question: Who is Kerry Washington?

It is with that central question in mind that I pose the following questions. These are MY questions. I am not here to represent anyone’s fandom. I know, too, that I don’t have a ‘right’ to have any of these questions answered. I’m not delulu (as the kids say). I’m being as honest as I can with my own curiosities about Kerry, as both an actress and a human.

These are my questions. I am not here to represent a fandom. Let’s get into the QTNA of it all.

Q1: What childhood scars still itch even into adulthood?

In a recent interview, Kerry mentioned that her therapist has read her book. Samesies! When I finished the pre-copyedited draft of my first book, I started connecting some childhood dots to a few of my ongoing challenges. I asked my therapist to read it so that we could be on the same page in our sessions. It is for this reason that I wonder if Kerry’s reading back of her own writing was revelatory to her in ways she was not able to consciously unlock before. Are there things still there under the surface, the ghosts of which still tingle and itch sometimes no matter how much therapy she has had? Falling back into patterns is easy; undoing them takes so much self-awareness and intentionality.

Secondly, I ask the question based on the excerpt from Thicker that was chosen to appear on Oprah.com. Beautifully conveyed with a stark honesty I had never seen from Kerry, the selection chosen is one that gives us a sliver into the dysfunctions of the Washington’s marriage. Ones that were quite literally disruptive to 7-year-old Kerry. Aristotle famously said, “Give me the child until [s]he is 7 and I will show you the [wo]man.” The theory of the first 7 years of a child’s life has been debated in Psychology. However, anecdotally, I can tell you that both my wife and I carry deeply impactful memories of our selves at age 7, the threads of which still linger. So, why is that memory offered as the amuse bouche to the drawing back of the curtains of Kerry Washington’s life which Thicker Than Water promises (or ‘her truth’ as Kerry calls it)? Does the excerpt set a foundation for the grown up Kerry we now see? For me, the excerpt made me wonder if young Kerry’s (confessed) determination to be the living embodiment of the pleasing, “good” thing that bonded her parents together was the start of a perfectionism that would be hard to shake. Control issues that would find her guarding a carefully curated image that avoids like the plague the possibility of being seen as ‘problematic’ for a stance, an opinion, a view? Or it could be that I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. That is entirely possible.

Q2: Did you experience any body dysmorphia issues during your first pregnancy? Was your second pregnancy different?

This is a difficult and very personal question. I know. It is based on two things: 1) the unusual language Kerry used to refer to her changing body during that time; and 2) the fact that she mentioned, prior to Scandal, she struggled with an eating disorder.

During Kerry’s first pregnancy (2013-2014), I don’t recall her using the word ‘pregnant’. She would say things like how the ‘condition’, ‘orientation’, or ‘physicality’ of her body changed when discussing how she approached acting during that time. I don’t recall her talking about it in personable ways. It felt like if she didn’t have to acknowledge what our eyes could plainly see, she would not have. Kerry appeared much more comfortable with her second pregnancy (2017). Listen, I have never been pregnant. In fact, I am terrified of it, which is why I wonder what it must be like for someone who has struggled with an eating disorder (which can cause body dysmorphia issues). How did Kerry come to embrace such a purposeful but very disrupting change to her body? I have been around a fair number of pregnant women, so I know it’s not all ‘miracle of life’ stuff. The typical pregnancy narratives out there from celebrities don’t typically discuss this unless we can relate it back to inequalities in maternal health care. Even if they do, I’m asking for Kerry Washington’s perspective. I could be entirely wrong, but I’d still like to know was the changing of her body hard for her. I’d love to know how she felt after her first child was born, and what motherhood feels like for her.

A related thing about which I am curious: Did she have any fertility issues and struggle with getting pregnant? And why did she wait until after it was beyond obvious during her Saturday Night Live appearance in early November 2013 to officially confirm she was pregnant? What fear was the fear behind this late decision?

Q3: What makes you sad, insecure, or sometimes need to retreat into yourself?

Kerry seems like a high-energy, joyful, positive person. She’s commented that as an Aquarius, she loves all sorts of people. I can see that. As an introverted Cancerian, I appreciate high-energy people…in doses. Every talk show appearance, red carpet interview, and social media content are all carefully presenting a woman who is very together. I say this because sometimes Kerry speaks in therapy language even when she’s trying to be sincere about overcoming battles. Of course, the image one projects (me, too) is always only partially true—whatever the industry. Kerry is a person and most of us do not have it all together, no matter how much we present it as such, or how much we sweep aside the less salubrious, more complicated parts of ourselves. It’s that stuff that I’m interested in. Where are her edges? Negativity may be ‘noise’ (as Kerry’s Twitter banner displays), but it also gives positivity its meaning. I also recall a saying that happy people are usually the most fucked up ones. Now, I’m not accusing Ms. `Washington of being uniquely fucked up, because we all are in some ways. The always ‘on’ facade is typically a way of hiding (just one of the tools) the things we don’t think we can show. Is she a trainwreck in the mornings and a bitch in the afternoon? Please, I just want to know something real…about Kerry, not just about her parents and her career.

Q4: In what ways, are you like your character Olivia Pope?

On an episode of Unpacking the Toolbox podcast, Kerry’s co-stars/friends, Guillermo Diaz, and Katie Lowes, said that out of everyone in the cast, Kerry is the most like her character (Olivia Pope). Would Kerry say this is accurate or fair? If so, what characteristics does she have in common with Olivia? Please spare me surface-level, obfuscating comparisons such as ‘We look alike :)’ or ‘We’re both passionate about democracy!’ Somehow, I don’t think that’s what Katie and Guillermo meant. I don’t presume anything untoward. I also understand why actors in long-running shows are usually at pains to separate the actor from the character, especially when that character’s messy humanity is on display for everyone to judge. But, again, give me something of substance here.

Q5: In what ways do you draw on your Jamaican heritage? How are you imparting that to your children along with their Nigerian Igbo heritage? And who are your father’s people?

Kerry has been very vocal about her mother’s Jamaican heritage. She has been vocal about immigration, sharing that her maternal grandparents came to America via Ellis Island. In the summer of 2023, she was in Jamaica to film a special about dance forms from around the world. As a Jamaican myself, I would like something more concrete about her Jamaican background. She often mentions her Jamaican heritage, but in what ways is it important to her? How does she call on that heritage as part of her identity? How is she (or not) imparting that sense of culture to her children alongside their Igbo heritage? Lastly, I’m less certain of her father’s origins (presumably in the American South). I’d like to know more about that.

Q6: Why was Hollywood the calling? Did you feel like changing course? If so, when and what put you back on the path towards who you’ve become?

This question is about Kerry’s early experiences in Hollywood. In an old interview (hopefully, I didn’t hallucinate this), she mentioned being told early on to lose 30 pounds and fix her teeth, at which she scoffed. Despite the contemporary irony juxtaposed against the past demand, where did she get the strength of determination and belief in herself to push past what those assholes could not see? As plucky as she seems, everyone has low moments when they are pushing for a dream. What’s one of hers from those early years?

In another interview (or the same?) Kerry mentioned giving herself a year to become a working actor in Hollywood. This is after her post-University travels to India to study Yoga. I want to know more about the jump from Yoga to Hollywood. What was that internal calling, or was it a casual, young adventurous thing she thought she would try? Did the move to Hollywood occur during a highly ambivalent part of her life? If so, how did that feel as a Black woman, since those women are often under pressure to take up a more guaranteed profession than the arts?

Q7: What did you find most challenging about working on Scandal—both as an actress and as a person? What nonsense did you and your castmates get up to behind the scenes?

Kerry has been very grateful for landing a show like Scandal and for the fine company of actors with whom she got to work. Great, but can she tell us the non-PR stuff? I’m not talking about back-biting—I don’t care. I’m always interested in the process for actors and all the changes they go through when working on a long-term project. American TV shows have 16-24 episode commitments every year. That has got to dominate a person’s life! What are some specific ways it impacted Kerry’s life? Actors have talked about how unrelenting the TV schedule is, including Shonda’s reflections in her 2015 book about the incessant demand to ‘lay track’ (write) so that the train that is the TV show doesn’t run off course. I already know that Kerry has borrowed from Ellen Pompeo, the advice to approach being #1 on the call sheet of a TV show the way an athlete would approach her dedicated sport. The point here is that I’m not seeking more information on enduring the schedule. I’m interested in how she kept the motivation and rationale for her character over such a long period. What did she do when she had disagreements about things Olivia was written to do? Would she have done anything differently? What was the thing that Olivia did that she found hardest to justify? Who was that one guest star who gave her nothing when they acted together (alluded to in Unpacking the Toolbox, episode 107)? And finally, can she stop playing diplomat and just say that Tony is the better kisser?

Q8: IDTAMPL was weird. What was the fear behind that, and how do you now define ‘personal life’?

For the uninitiated, or those with short-term memories, the acronym IDTAMPL stands for I Don’t Talk About My Personal Life. Kerry adopted this saying whenever she was interviewed after her marriage to Nnamdi Asomugha was announced on the 3rd of July 2013. Occurring on the brink of the holiday weekend, the news dropped like a bomb in the Scandal fandom. Even outside the fandom. Many were flummoxed, including me. On the 4th of July, I attended a celebration in London with a fellow American who is a big-time Philadelphia Eagles (Nnamdi’s former team) football fan, including the gossip surrounding the team. As soon as she opened her door to me, she said, “Your girl married Nnamdi?!” She consumed more football than Scandal at the time. Suffice it to say, I have left out the accurate number of question marks and exclamations in her voice. Her face, too, was full of them.

Listen, we used to be a proper country. Many celebrities, with and without talent, have lost the art of mystique, preferring instead to cultivate the marketing skill of capturing attention and selling it to us as actual talent.

I am thankful for those celebrities who maintain the mystique of a bygone era. Intrigue me, but don’t shut the door completely. The latter is what it felt like Kerry did after it was announced that she was married. Prior to the announcement, I don’t recall the media being that interested in Kerry’s dating life. It was not a topic that came up. Nor did Kerry ever let on that she was dating, let alone that she had been involved with Asomugha for three years (according to Kerry’s timeline of their meeting in 2009 when she did the Broadway play, Race). I have no qualms with celebrities who don’t make their partners part of their public image, or the ones who wed outside the limelight (Margot Robbie, Chris Evans (recently)). What I don’t like is when they pretend that they didn’t volunteer the information in the first place. Kerry’s team announced the marriage, even giving PR-friendly People Online titbits from “a source close to the couple” about Kerry’s ‘regular’ looking wedding dress (I kid you not. The source called the unseen dress ’regular’). We even learned that the “secret wedding” (every publication used that phrase so it’s deliberate) took place in the potato-producing state of Hailey, Idaho in the last week of June. These things were volunteered.

But once Kerry emerged back on red carpets and public events that summer, she trotted out a new PR line when asked follow-up questions about her wedding, husband, or newly married life: “I don’t talk about my personal life”. After literal years of not mentioning a romantic life, when her very public engagement to David Moscow ended in 2007, it was Kerry who let the public know: 1) She was hiding a boyfriend (shoutout to Pusha T); and 2) Surprise! I’s married now (shoutout to Shug Avery)…but don’t ask me anything about it! Don’t even ask me for a picture with the two of us together to go with your marriage announcement headlines. That’s what photoshop is for. Figure it out!

I’m being facetious, but, girl...

BFFR. Don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining. We didn’t ask, but she definitely told us. And when folks followed up on that telling, Kerry closed up tighter than a sphincter with a ‘do not enter sign. That whole era was awkward. Can we acknowledge that, at least?

Lest you think, “You’re being way harsh, Tai”, I’m not. What I sense is that there was some fear Kerry harboured behind revealing her coupling with Nnamdi. What was the source of the fear that led to the IDTAMPL shutdown? Was it because she did not want her personal narrative to be overshadowed by her relationship status? And what inspired her to begin relaxing that… a little? Like, she waited until her second child was born in 2017 to start allowing articles to describe her as “a mother of three”, revealing Nnamdi’s daughter from a previous relationship, which she had not acknowledged before. Was it simply time that allowed her to all but retire the IDTAMPL line? Or were there key turning points that led to slow revelations? And can we agree that the reluctance to talk about a ‘personal’ life is specifically related to her husband (mostly) and children (I support her keeping them off social media)? Words mean things. One’s parents are part of one’s personal life, but Kerry has no qualms about performing her relationship with them on social media. I mean, the excerpt she chose for us to read busts-open like a ripe papaya their whole past marital dysfunction, and her mother’s contemplating being unalive. Like…are such matters not not both personal and private? With all of that in mind, what has prompted this rethinking? How does Kerry now define ‘personal life’?

Q9: What is your most enduring memory from your time in India? Would you go back if you haven’t already?

On more than one occasion, Kerry has referenced her time spent in India. Besides the fact that she chose to travel to the subcontinent after graduation from George Washington University, we don’t know that much about that period (and that she studied Yoga whilst there). Kerry graduated from GW in 1999 (?). I spent five months in the southern states of India in the first half of 2000. I’m not sure if her trip crossed over into the new millennium, but it’s kind of cool to think about us both being in that vast country at the same time. I would love to know what are some of Kerry’s outstanding memories? What did she love about that place? What does she not miss? Did she visit a favourite place, or discover a dish she continues to enjoy? Does she, like me, share Indian heritage as part of her Jamaican identity?

Looking back, did travelling abroad at such a formative age, shape her coming of age in any way? I would welcome any memories or anecdotes from that time in her life.

Q: Beyond “mutual respect” for each other, why are you at your most playful around Tony Goldwyn?

I cannot be sure, but it is likely that Kerry has come across online theories and conspiracies that are both outlandish and semi-reasonable based on visuals alone. Whenever fans (to be clear, I am ‘fans’) are treated to her interactions with Tony Goldwyn, it feels like a hit of sugar injected directly into our veins. Their power has a hold on us.

It is not simply fans seeing in Kerry and Tony a nostalgia for Olivia and Fitz. Both entities are a force unto themselves. Most don’t confuse one for the other, if they have a shred of media literacy. Even people who hated Olivia and Fitz as a couple can acknowledge that there is a je ne sais quoi between Kerry and Tony. Their chemistry has its own fans; it’s palpable. I know that Kerry knows that the Kerry x Tony appearances are gold because she leverages them on social media. She’s leveraging it right now for her book tour. It’s no accident that the Washington, D.C. tour stop with Tony Goldwyn as the special guest was the first to quickly sell out dates were announced. People are coming to that tour stop for the cerise sur la gateau which is the Kerry x Tony bond. I’m not cynical enough (or blind enough) to believe that their interactions are simply good “PRs” for both their images (as some have alleged). No, there is an energy, an authenticity that crackles and fizzes between them, even when they are simply standing next to each other.

Hell, it’s there when one of them simply talks about the absent other. Fair enough that chemistry works in mysterious ways that can’t be manufactured. But when Kerry is in the vicinity of Tony Goldwyn, there is also Physics at play. There is inertia in their body language to familiarity and comfortability with each other in ways that speak to a shared intimacy. I mean that in the sense of closeness and rapport. Kerry and Tony are clearly very close. Beyond the “mutual respect” they say they have for each other, there is something about who Kerry is when she is around Tony that is different than when she is around others. She doesn’t have that with her other Scandal co-stars with whom she has remained friends. Other than her passionate and on-point political advocacy, her time spent with Tony Goldwyn lends a cozy texture to her personality that is more easily felt than described. It’s like popping the bubble of perfectionism and letting out a giant exhale. Me, I exhale when they are together. Am I trippin, or is there something about Tony Goldwyn that effortlessly extracts this playfulness in her, and can she feel it, too?

Bonus Question (A la Inside The Actors Studio): What is your favourite curse word? What sound do you love? What sound do you hate? What scares you? What makes you cry? What petty thing have you had it with? What did you finally embrace only after you were in your forties?

Even if Bravo were to resurrect Inside The Actors Studio [LINK], Kerry Washington will never have the chance to be interviewed by James Lipton because he passed away in 2020. A venerable institution himself, Lipton’s sincere and earnestly pointed manner of asking questions gave actors the opportunity to embark on a journey of both self and art in the space of an hour, in front of a live audience of actors-in-training. Through this show, the audience could learn more about their favourite actor, and all the ways in which the personal intersects with their art, and much more. My favourite part was always the quick-fire round near the end when Lipton would ask the small, quotidian questions that are the true stuff of life. You know, the anti-Hollywood shit. Though it’s a cheat, it is in that vein that the bonus questions above are designed. A few are taken from James Lipton, and others added by me.

Those are all of the questions…until I read Kerry’s tome.

Perfect-seeming people are boring and untrustworthy. But is the perception entirely a fiction created by the celebrity or us?

“…[She’s] clearly a beautiful, intelligent, multi-talented, quietly formidable woman with a Jesus-like heart. From what we can tell, she is highly respected among her peers. Well, that’s who we’ve made her out to be. We choose to see those things in her because that’s what’s on public offer. Because of that, it’s so easy to turn KW into some Magical Negress archetype imprisoned on a pedestal in our minds. We believe Kerry is clean. Kerry walks on water. Kerry makes the fishes and the loaves. As her fans… we mythologize her, and others like her, because we have this deep-seated human need to create heroes for ourselves. We need to believe that there are people less fallible than we are: that if we believe in their perfection, it might take us a little closer towards that ideal… Kerry doesn’t walk on water. She’s not perfect. The reason I know is because she’s flesh and bone and blood, just like you and me.” (Me, 2013)

It's true: the perception is a little but her, a little bit us (me). However, I can’t say that I’ve seen a lot of evidence of the proverbial ‘flesh and bone and blood’. That perception seems poised to change on the 26th of September with Thicker Than Water’s release.

I was surprised (in a good way) to see Kerry reference this early ‘need’ she placed on herself to be ‘good’ as a point of connection for her parents, whose marriage was in trouble. I was also sad because I know what that means. I did that to myself at age 12, and it’s been hard to completely abandon. But the admission intrigued me, and I hope there is more of that kind of self-revelation in the book as the timeline approaches the Kerry we see today. Above all else, my wish for Thicker Than Water, is this: to offer me insight and greater clarity about a woman whose public persona, for the last ten years, has been highly visible, yet persistently opaque.

I get it. To exist publicly as a Black woman in the 21st Century is to navigate a high-wire act. Perception is always on the mind, especially in Kerry’s industry. If you share too much, people have a problem; not enough, people have a problem. Nothing you share is impervious to being twisted into the most ungenerous or scandalous interpretation. We have watched Queen Mother, Beyonce, in the last decade become more deliberate about what she shares with the public. But even she feels like less of a question mark than Kerry Washington. Beyonce has, at least, given us glimpses into her personal life and thoughts via documentaries, BTS photos, and the intimacy of confession in her art—the parts that are beautiful, fucked up, or ambivalent. This is not me pitting two bad bitches against each other. It is me offering an example of another Black woman who has told us that she battles perfectionism, and who has found a way to let us in (or feel like it), through her art, whilst making her boundaries clear.

Thicker Than Water will be a part of Kerry’s artistic self. It is a product of memory and polished fiction; narratives carefully organized and swaddled in beautiful prose (based on the excerpt) that promises to take the reader on a journey. As someone who recently published a book that is small in its number of pages, but big in its revelations of things unspoken and unshared, I know that writing is an intimate act of exploring one’s mind and interiority; of the past and its pertinence with the present. What your mouth cannot say, your fingers will. It is my most profound hope that Thicker Than Water allows me to feel a sense of connection with flesh and blood and bone Kerry Washington. And I hope for her the book accomplishes a giant exhale of whatever she wants to release into the world. Whether or not I will personally be satisfied by the book... stay tuned.

Q: What are your questions for Kerry?

#kerry washington #Thicker Than Water memoir #thicker than water #scandal #tony goldwyn

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ichorblossoms · 21 days

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for the ask meme can i get uhhhh yarrow + face, serena + motion, grimm + favorite

HI HELLO JANE!!!!! sorry this took awhile to get around to answering i wrote all the text and told myself i was gonna draw pictures for these and then i got distracted because i wanted to draw. other pictures instead :,D BUT without further ado !!

face: Describe your OC's face. What's their smile like? Are their orbs cerulean? What would someone notice first when looking at them?

i don't trust my writing skills enough to write a description. their face:

i talked a little bit abt their facial features in this ask, but yeah, the Bee Stuff is definitely what people notice first. yarrow's modification was an experimental one, so while most people are kinda used to seeing humods with fur on their faces or weird ears or maybe horns and whatnot, invertebrate features are rare and jarring. this does cause issues when you're trying to be discreet, so yarrow tries their best to wear bandanas or masks. even pre-modification they actually wear something to the effect of a bandana or surgical mask often; partially because They Are A Doctor and also because they live in a mining town that doesn't give a shit about how much dust is kicked up from the open-pit mining

pre-modification i'm not sure what people would notice first; they have a few small defining features like their dimples, yellow-gold eyes, straight teeth, patchy facial hair, and mole on their right cheek, but overall nothing out of the ordinary. i think it's less features people notice, and a general impression of openess? he's quick to smile, talkative, and expressive, so people usually feel like they can approach him

motion: How does your OC move? How does their clothing help or hinder their range of motion? Are they flexible, coordinated, clumsy?

having trained in martial arts for most of her life, serena's very coordinated and flexible! she also has a muscular stature and she can make herself very difficult to move if she doesn't want to. she's aware of her size and generally has a slouch to her posture and walks with a bit of a trudge and lope if that makes sense? she has enough control though to where she can move almost freakishly quiet and it scares people on occasion

ofc she doesn't wear clothes, but she does have her prosthesis!

she's got both an everyday and a sport prosthesis, so while her movement isn't necessarily affected by that, she's less willing to run or do anything intense if she just has her everyday prosthesis on (that's the one i draw, i need to look more into sport prostheses for humans and adapt a design from there)

bc she's a congenital amputee, the only real adjustment she's had to do irt her leg is adapting to a new prosthesis every few years, so she has a solid sense of moving with or without it on. i've been trying to determine if she has smthin like an adapted wheelchair as well, but since dragons are quadrupeds and she's only missing part of a limb, it may not be necessary when she also has her tail and wings to help counterbalance during movement...? there's also the factor that she doesn't have a lot of money, so regardless of what she has to assist her, it's not always top-quality and she's learned to live with a certain level of discomfort and pain

speaking of wings, flying is something dragons can do, but it's a lot like running where most ppl can't do it for longer periods of time unless they train. it's not as necessary in modern society, so most dragons can fly for short bursts if needed/for fun. with the exception of a few who do things like, idk fly to work, most rely on transit bc it's easier. serena's ability to fly is Okay, she's accumulated some damage to her wings over the years (side effect of martial arts where other people have claws and horns), which makes her less aerodynamic and more easily tired out. she's got a good handle on her body and how it moves, so she's actually pretty graceful in the air and not aware of that fact at all. overall, she prefers not to fly, but still maintains a healthy habit of working out those muscles so they don't atrophy, which is a thing that happens with modern dragons.

favorite: Does your OC have a favorite article of clothing or accessory? What is it? What's the meaning behind it? Do they wear it all the time or do they wear it sparingly to keep it safe?

am i allowed to saw wrench here. i'm gonna say wrench

saying wrench is grimm's favorite accessory is actually a stretch bc it loathes wearing it, but adores wrench as a companion but if we are purely talking abt clothing here, grimm's not the sentimental sort, so it doesn't hold on to things once they're to worn nor does it worry about wearing things out. which is the boring answer

wrench is only worn as armor a handful of times in-story and in dire circumstances (that i. have not quite figured out yet <3). grimm fucking hates wearing it, hates the way it takes them back to their past, hates the way it doesn't quite fit their body anymore and hurts if they wear it too long, hates why they even have to wear it, but it's protection and a weapon in one, and they don't have many options.

i talked abt wrench a little bit when you asked abt it here, but wrench is both an artifact of grimm's past and a dear friend. as an animal companion/robot grimm does maintain wrench to an extent and it's a good dog that doesn't age like normal animals, they have a close pet/owner bond. when it comes to "wearing" it, transforming (so to speak) doesn't cause any wear and tear on wrench itself, since that is one of the purposes it was built for, but the situations in which grimm would don wrench may result in damage and there's also an element of wanting to keep wrench safe. aside from being armor, wrench can also do stuff like jam signals for short periods of time and sense heat signatures, so it does have an interest in preserving wrench for its own work and safety as well, but it's also a pet, yknow?

post-story i'm p sure grimm and yarrow would get something equivalent to married. yarrow's the romantic and the one to suggest it ofc, but grimm's like "hell, if i'm going to symbolically tie their life to someone else's it wouldn't be anyone but yarrow" and whatever sort of wedding band/necklace/wearable symbol they choose would become grimm's favorite, esp since it represents a version of themself they like being

#asks #THANK YOU AGAIN!!!!!!!#LOVE TALKING ABOUT THEM #i was like 'oh i'll get these asks done [two weekends ago]' and then. i didn't. bc my brain is a goo. and also i'm stupid #oops! all 3/4 view facing right. ignore that hgkflhdlg #honeybee #thicker than water #art #yarrow #serena #grimm

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keymintt · 1 year

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portraits of my main ocs but make it disco elysium

#art #drawing #illustration #digital #digital art #my art #ocs #thicker than water #dragons #or at least make it. close to disco elysium y'know?#i feel like my style seeps in there regardless which i'm not upset about

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hopeworth · 1 year

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dick & jason; bones of my bones, flesh of my flesh

[richard siken, 'you are jeff', Crush // nightwing (1996) #106 // emily jungmin yoon, a cruelty to our species // marie howe, 'the grave', what the living do // new teen titans (1984) #55 // andrew kozma, 'song of the insensible' // josé saramango, cain]

#dick & jason #dick grayson #jason todd #brothers #grief #nightwing year one #webweaving #DO NOT TAG AS SHIP #web weave #web weaving #poetry #prose #dc #comics #my stuff #thicker than water

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synintheraven · 11 months

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Today in another episode of: pictures I’ve never seen before but found while lurking around in Pinterest / aka Arnas looking badass playing other roles

#look I'm not 100% sure but I THINK this is from Thicker Than Water #based on my quick google search lol #might be horribly wrong so feel free to correct me and I'll fix this post #arnas fedaravicius #he's still a baby tho #okay no *my* baby #Arnas my beloved <3 #thicker than water #?

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fedaraviciius · 11 months

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Arnas Fedaravicius in Thicker Than Water (Tjockare än vatten ) season 2, 2016

#arnas fedaravičius #arnas fedaravicius #thicker than water #tjockare än vatten #* gifs

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busy-baker · 5 days

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Another Dadstarion one shot has made itself available for your reading pleasure ☺️

Astarion is busy designing his family’s outfits for a celebration and takes on the task of putting Juniper down for her nap but his past comes back to haunt him.

f!Tav x Astarion

Word Count: 1.6k

Swatches upon swatches of varying colors and patterns surrounded Astarion as he sat sketching at his desk. He had been endlessly working to design his family’s outfits for his father’s upcoming inaugural celebration.

He wasn’t particularly jumping for joy at the thought of attending the event, possibly interacting with ghosts from his past. They would recognize his eternally youthful face, save for his altered eye color, but to him, they would be nothing but dark figures of days lost.

His hand scribbled at the parchment before holding it up to examine his progress. With an exasperated sigh, he crumpled the piece of paper and tossed it aside to land in a pile with the other failed attempts. He would be damned before his family waltzed through the doors of the High Hall with nothing but the best attire.

The spawn’s head fell to his desk with a thump and a chuckle sounded from the bedroom door. He didn’t need to lift his head to know his wife was approaching behind him. Her familiar sweet and comforting scent enveloped him when her arm reached out and her hand rubbed soothingly up and down his back.

“I’m going to lay Juniper down soon and then rest myself. I thought we should visit since you’ve holed yourself in here,” Tav teased. He could hear the smile on her lips.

Astarion sat up and grabbed two of the fabric squares he had the most difficult time deciding between. His head leaned back against his wife’s stomach, just below where their daughter was cradled in her arms, and he held up the pieces for her to see.

“Which one do you prefer, my love?” He asked, closing his eyes and relaxing.

“Oh, uh, aren’t they both dark red?” The elf squinted, trying to discern a difference between the two swatches.

The vampire shot forward and turned his head to give his naive wife an offended look. He shook his head and stood, fabric in each hand.

“Darling, this,” he said, holding out one piece, “is burgundy. And this,” His other hand wiggled at her, “is a merlot. Completely different.”

“Well, they are both lovely,” she replied, pushing up on her toes to kiss his jawline. “Please take a break. I’m going to put her in her crib now.”

“Nonsense. Go rest, darling,” Astarion told Tav, tossing the fabric aside and scooping the infant from her arms and into his. “Maybe Juniper will at least offer some opinion on the matter. Won’t you, little one?” He looked down at the dhampir whose big eyes stared at him while her fingers were slathered in drool from her constant gnawing.

The elven woman rolled her eyes at her husband and lightly kissed the forehead of her child and then the vampire’s cheek. She walked towards the bedroom door but stopped and faced him.

“Don’t wreak too much havoc,” she warned, pointing a stern finger from the doorway but only teasing.

“Us?” He asked, hand to his chest and mouth agape, “Never, my dear. Now run along.”

Tav exited the room and left Astarion in the quiet of their bedroom with their daughter. He paced back and forth along the length of the room as he hummed quietly to Juniper. Her eyes were beginning to drift closed but he dared not stop walking or crooning with the fear that she would wake whenever he did.

Bouncing on the balls of his feet to keep the baby resting, Astarion made his way over to where his mannequin was placed in the opposite corner of the room.

Tav’s dress hung from it with a basic shape. The black velvet was sleek and smooth. Every bit of it would hug her new shape in just the right way and the slits up either side provided the right amount of sway for her glorious legs to show through.

It still needed to be hemmed along the bottom and had pins placed along the back but overall, he was proud of his work. She was going to look exquisite but whatever else could she be?

The spawn noticed one pin that stuck out of the shoulder. He must have forgotten that one or simply placed it there as a spare when working earlier. Reaching for it, he plucked it from the woven material but it somehow slipped from his fingers.

Slowly, he crouched down to not disturb Juniper. He felt the ground for the small needle, glancing at the baby as she scrunched up in his grasp from his movement. The pin pricked his pointer finger just he turned his eyes back to the floor.

“Hells,” he whispered, swiping the pin up and stabbing it back into the mannequin. He placed his wounded fingertip into his mouth. After a moment, he pulled his finger from his mouth, relieved to see the bleeding had stopped, but stilled when his gaze fell on the area where a couple droplets of his blood had spilled onto his wife’s dress.

Instantly, Astarion’s body went rigid. His mind feebly attempted to remain present but was in a losing battle against the dark tendrils of two centuries of torture.

The now free spawn was transported back to his slavery under the clutches of his demented master.

Astarion’s nimble fingers worked hard that day to repair the stitching of his siblings’ clothing. Cazador wanted them to appear the best when luring in victims for him to feast on later.

He was so tired, so weak but he would do anything to escape punishment again. His fingers ghosted over phantom scars where he had previously earned a lashing for returning with the least favorable victim.

The young vampire’s crimson eyes grew wide, head snapping towards the door of the room he shared with his siblings.

Cazador stormed in with his clawed fingers wrapped around the collar of Dalyria. She scrambled to keep up with his pace as he dragged her along with him.

Her body was tossed to the ground in front of Astarion’s feet and she backed up against the bed, just barely brushing against her brother’s legs. Both of Szarr’s creations waited with almost a statuesque stillness for their master to speak.

“I rely on you to make your siblings presentable,” Cazador began, stalking towards Astarion, “And you dare stain their clothing with your putrid blood, boy!”

The spawn glanced at his sister and sure enough, a speck of his essence, barely noticeably to the naked eye, marked the sleeve of her dress. He had never made that mistake before but days of being starved had made his mind hazy.

Astarion tried to sputter an apology but he was halted by Cazador’s hand.

“You will learn. Go to Godey, boy. Now,” the master commanded.

As much as he wanted to fight the compulsion, he couldn’t. Astarion’s feet carried him to his punishment in those sickening kennels.

His siblings pretended they hadn’t heard his screams echoing through the palace that night, like many nights before.

A soft coo made Astarion blink, ripping him from his torment. He found his daughter’s emerald eyes lazily wandering over his features.

He nuzzled his nose into her hair, inhaling her scent of lavender wash and the subtle oil in her curls. His set jaw began to relax and his tense muscles became looser.

Juniper would never endure a sliver of the pain or suffering he had been through. She deserved happiness and nothing less. He would rid the world of anyone who thought differently.

The high elf decided he would return to the dress later, removing the stain. He had to step away to prevent more memories from resurfacing.

He looked down at his daughter once again. The involuntary smile that crossed his face when he was with her provided more warmth inside him than the sun ever could.

“Not quite ready for sleep yet, little love?” He asked the dhampir. A bubble blew from her tiny pink lips in response and Astarion took that as a not yet.

“Hm, well, let us see how we occupy you.” The pale elf strolled around the room, rocking the babe side to side as his did trying to tempt her into a trance. His steps stopped at the discarded swatches from earlier.

Oh, what the hells? He thought.

He swiped the pieces up from the desk and held them in front of Juniper’s face. Her eyes went wide for a second at the closeness at which he brought them but then she just blinked.

“Now, your mother insists these are just dark red, but I know we have more refined taste,” Astarion said, tapping her nose. The babe’s face scrunched up as the swatches tickled her and she let out a small sneeze. Her father laughed and apologized.

“My dear Juniper, please put your father out of his misery. Which do you prefer, little one?”

He knew he sounded absolutely crazy. She was an infant and could barely see colors, let alone distinguish different shades. He decided this was for pure entertainment. For hers or his, he didn’t know which.

By some miracle or just coincidence, Juniper’s tiny fist swung up and smacked at the burgundy square in his hand before settling against her cheek.

Astarion’s eyebrows shot up as his eyes darted between the fabric and his daughter. He huffed out a laugh and began to place kisses all over her face.

“I knew you had it in you! What a darling girl you are!” He praised, planting one last long kiss to her forehead.

Juniper’s little hand found its way into her mouth and Astarion chose to ignore it, not thinking about how that’s initially where it had intended to go and not for the swatch.

Dark red, Astarion thought, Even Juniper knows the difference, darling.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #bg3 astarion #baldurs gate tav #thicker than water #dadstarion #tav x astarion

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