#They are either best friends or qpps your honor

[famous-aces]

Henry David Thoreau

Who: Henry David Thoreau

What: Author, Philosopher, Abolitionist, Activist, Naturalist, Critic, Surveyor, Yogi, Historian...ah, Jeez, what wasn't he?

Where: American (active largely in the US)

When: July 12, 1817 – May 6, 1862

(Image description: a photo of Henry David Thoreau from 1861, it is obviously in black and white but has faded to sepia. He is a white man in a jacket and what appears to be a scarf or cravat. He has a long, tired face, circles around his eyes. He has a thick beard and mustache and slightly messy hair, his hair is dark but graying.  End ID)

You have probably heard this name even if you don't know why. He is best known  for his memoirs, essays, and his role in the founding of the Transcendentalist movement. His progressive philosophy remains relevant to this day. His influence has lasted well over a century and he served as inspiration for the likes of JFK, Martin Luther King Jr., Hemingway, Tolstoy, Shaw, Gandhi, among dozens of other names of equal note.

Thoreau was a Transcendentalist through and through, meaning he believed in the inherent goodness of humanity and nature in conjunction with science, and the power of the individual. His writing is generally practical, thoughtful, detailed, and observant, and he wrote extensively on a number of subjects. Perhaps most notably on environmentalism (he is one of the inspirations for and a precursor to the 20th century environmentalist movement), nature, ethics, simple living, direct action, civil disobedience, abolition, tax resistance, anarchy, among countless other topics.  

Thoreau's most famous and popular works include Walden, which is the published version of of the diary Thoreau kept over his two year social experiment at Walden Pond (written beginning in 1845, published in 1854), "Civil Disobedience,"  which helped both Gandhi and Dr. King form their philosophies, and states that in an unjust society the just must rebel, (it was originally titled "Resistance to Civil Government or Civil Disobedience", 1849), "Walking" an instruction manual on how Thoreau thought, observed, and wrote (1862), "Slavery in Massachusetts", a speech given at a rally to protest the re-enslavement of escapee/fugitive slave Anthony Burns (1854) and Excursions, collection of essays, published posthumously in 1863 with biographical introduction by fellow author and Transcendentalist Ralph Waldo Emerson.  He also wrote on John Brown and his execution ("A Plea for Captain John Brown" [1859], Remarks After the Hanging of John Brown [1859], and The Last Days of John Brown [1860]).

(Image description: a replica of Thoreau's cabin in Walden. It is a very small wooded. Cabin in a clearing, one room at most, brown/gray in color. It has a white multi-paned window and a brick chimney in the back. The whole cabin is not much taller than its door. Behind it is a shed or outhouse.  They are surrounded by trees. Touching one of the closest trees is a brown metal statue of a man walking, presumably Thoreau. End ID)

Probable Orientation: Gay ace or possibly aroace with a desire for a male QPP.

I am very confident in Thoreau's asexuality, if a little shakier on his romantic orientation. As far as anyone knows (and his life has been repeatedly and heavily scrutinized since the 19th century) Thoreau never had a romantic or sexual partner. He was a public figure with a wide circle of friends, someone would have known at some point during his life and if somehow a partner escaped notice the historians who dedicated their lives to studying his life specifically would have uncovered them. Thoreau wrote on male/male relationships, some more platonic, some queerplatonic, some vagulely romantic, none sexual.

Thoreau, like Elizabeth I, is one cishets hold onto, turning away from the idea he could be anything but heterosexual regardless of the evidence to the contrary.  Like Andy Warhol he is one exclusionists refuse to acknowledge was ace, although they have even less of an argument here. Many aphobic fans of Thoreau are terrified by the idea that maybe, just maybe, the thing Thoreau loved most was nature. Some outrageous arguments from either side include: one historian claimed a poem Thoreau wrote for a man was actually meant for that guy's sister, some say he was being hip in writing about Achilles, some say he was too repressed to have sex, especially since he was gay. One blogger got heated in his admantness that Thoreau wasn't ace but was "a human being with feelings and needs." Nice aphobia there, dude.

But here is the thing about any of those arguments: Thoreau broke every other rule in his culture. He was not afraid to be different, and separated himself from society.  He was all about the individual breaking away from society and its traditions and going with your human nature. Thoreau did what he believed to be right.

He had a following, many friends and aquaintences, almost certainly suitors, he spent a lot of time alone in the company of men he seemed to find attractive e.g. Tom Fowler (who was his sole companion and guide through Maine) and Alek Therien (who visited Thoreau alone at Walden). I firmly believe that his percieved "prudishness" was not artificial but came from a genuine disinterest and failure to even really understand sexual attraction (his journals imply as much, you will see). If he did sleep with any of these men Thoreau never documented it, not even in his own journals. But what he did articulate in letters is that society's refusal to discuss sex/physical relationships was proof of its problems. Sex was natural so dismissing it wasn't. 

His feelings about sex are contradictory, he thinks it must be natural but he also finds it repulsive and dirty. He makes note at one point of how beautiful pollination is (he is quoting and translating J. Biberg but agrees with the sentiment and indeed only uses the quote to prove his point on the beauty of sexless flowers), but he vilifies or dislikes human intercourse. Thoreau seems to like the idea of sex without the sex, he likes closeness more than intercourse. He wants to like sex but can't, the closest he gets is the desire for these things to be open.

Quotes:

Hang onto your hats. There are some long ones here, but Thoreau, like Chopin, is pretty overtly ace. Like he couldn't make it clear without waving an asexual pride flag, would be hard considering it was invented in what? 2010? And Thoreau had already been dead 148 chaste, chaste years.

"What is commonly honored with the name of Friendship is no very profound or powerful instinct...I do not often see the farmers made seers and wise to the verge of insanity by their Friendship for one another. They are not often transfigured and translated by love in each other’s presence. I do not observe them purified, refined, and elevated by the love of a man…I do not often see the farmers made seers and wise to the verge of insanity by their Friendship for one another. They are not often transfigured and translated by love in each other’s presence. I do not observe them purified, refined, and elevated by the love of a man…Nor do the farmers' wives lead lives consecrated to Friendship. I do not see the pair of farmer Friends of either sex prepared to stand against the world...Even the utmost good-will and harmony and practical kindness are not sufficient for Friendship, for Friends do not live in harmony merely, as some say, but in melody. We do not wish for Friends to feed and clothe our bodies,--neighbors are kind enough for that,--but to do the like office to our spirits…[the ideal friendship] will make a man honest; it will make him a hero; it will make him a saint. It is the state of the just dealing with the just, the magnanimous with the magnanimous, the sincere with the sincere, man with man.”

-Henry David Thoreau, from his journal 1839. This entry on friendship the hope for something deeper than what most people call by that name, but still looking for friendship. He is looking for a partner, an emotional, spiritual, partner. This quote could be read as romantic or queerplatonic. You know which one I am leaning toward, queerplatonic, especially because he specifies these relationships as unique from marriage (which he equates in other texts with sex and maybe romance) also he was writing while on a trip with his brother, John, to whom he would later dedicate the publication after John's death in 1842. But it could easily also be a sexless romantic relationship, what he is looking for is not explicitly either.

The following are all from 1852 letters written by Thoreau to his friend and proofreader Harrison Blake. One of these letters was overtly written on the subject of "Chastity and Sensuality" and contains his complicated feelings on sexuality:

"What the essential difference between man and woman is, that they should be thus attracted to one another, no one has satisfactorily answered."

(Note: self explanatory)

"If it is the result of a pure love, there can be nothing sensual in marriage. Chastity is something positive, not negative. It is the virtue of the married especially. All lusts or base pleasures must give place to loftier delights...The deeds of love are less questionable than any action of an individual can be, for, it being founded on the rarest mutual respect, the parties incessantly stimulate each other to a loftier and purer life, and the act in which they are associated must be pure and noble indeed..."

(Note: in the above quote he seems to believe that in marriage sex must eventually stop because there is something better. As if they have gotten the sex stuff out of the way.)

"Love and lust are as far asunder as a flower-garden is from a brothel.

(Note: this was part of his description for his disdain for human sex vs human love, his confusion about sex but love of human relationships. It is part of that desire for sex without sex thing I mentioned but harsher than his tone in a later letter.)

"'The organs of generation, which, in the animal kingdom, are for the most part concealed by nature, as if they were to be ashamed of, in the vegetable kingdom are ex posed to the eyes of all ; and, when the nuptials of plants are celebrated, it is wonderful what delight they afford to the beholder, refreshing...'"

(Note: this is Thoreau quoting and translating J. Biberg. Part of the same letter as the brothel line. In this letter he discusses how perturbed he is by sex and lust, but how it should be something beautiful. He celebrates pollination, while finding human sex distasteful, again sex without sex.)

"The intercourse of the sexes, I have dreamed, is incredibly beautiful, too fair to be remembered. I have had thoughts about it, but they are among the most fleeting and irrecoverable in my experience."

(Note: Also self explanatory)

(Image description: the original title page of Walden. It has an illustration on it drawn by Thoreau's sister Sophia. Above the illustration it reads "Walden; or Life in the Woods by Henry D. Thoreau, Author of "A Week on the Concord and Merrimack Rivers". Then is the illustration showing Thoreau's cabin, it looks very much like the modern replica if with a slightly different treeline.  There is a path leading from the cabin down to the bottom of the image directed at the words below. The text continues after the drawing "I do not propose to write an ode to dejection, but to brag as lustily as chanticleer in the morning, standing on his roost, if only to wake the neighbors up. -Page 92. Boston, Ticknor and Fields. M DCCC LIV.". End ID)

#lgbtq #queer #asexual #ace #history #gay #authors #19th century #american #north america #usa #aromantic #aro #activists #bio

[math-is-magic]

Necessary Conversations

So, I wrote a thing, then realized today was the start of Asexuality Awareness Week, and thought it was too Apropos to not post here.

Fandom- Naruto (Dreaming of Sunshine)

Rating - G-T

Pairing - Sasuke/Shikako (OC), though anyone who hasn’t read Dreaming of Sunshine can probably get away with just imagining this as an Ace Sakura or something if they wanted.

Tags - Emotional Conversations, Asexuality, Asexual Characters, Sex Repulsion, QPPs, Happy Endings

Necessary Conversations 

It’s an otherwise normal Nara family dinner night when it hits Sasuke that he can’t put his feelings off any longer.

Shikako’s parents still welcome him to those, no matter how crowded the table is starting to get, with Kino and Temari and now little Shikadai. Sasuke is discreetly watching Shikamaru try and fail to get Shikadai to eat his mush, trying to decide if he should help or if he should just stay out of it, when the topic turns towards preparations for an upcoming Nara clan holiday.

Shikako excitedly joins in with the conversation, but she never gets so engrossed as to miss that Sasuke doesn’t speak up at all. She shoots him a questioning look, but he shakes his head. This isn’t the time or place for it.

The thing is, Sasuke is a member of the Nara’s family, but even so, he knows that this does not concern him. Like Temari, he’s not a true-born Nara — technically, he’s not even married in, no matter how close of a bond he shares with Shikako. At best, he’s unofficially adopted.

Regardless, the fact remains; this may be his family, but this is not his clan.

For the first time in a long time, Sasuke looks around the table at all of his loved ones, and feels alone.

The Uchiha clan has a holiday coming up too, he realizes. How long has it been, since he had been able to properly celebrate that? And what will happen, when he’s gone? There would be no one left to honor his ancestors, to continue their rituals, to maintain their traditions.

His teammates would come with him, he’s sure, if he asked them to celebrate with him. They would learn his clan’s traditions and perform them them with him.

But, there it was again. With him. For him.

But would they - could they - continue them after he passed? What would happen to his clan’s legacy then?

Shikako notices his pensiveness during dinner, but after that initial look, she decides to wait patiently until they get home to ask about it. She sees the way Sasuke shuts down when the discussion turns to clan matters, and there is an uncomfortable feeling in her stomach that she knew what this was about.

So, she doesn’t say anything as they walk home, hand-in-hand. She gives him a look, worried and knowing, once the door closes behind them, but doesn’t press when he shakes his head again.

This is… delicate, something he’s been putting off for too long now, and Sasuke wants to make sure he does this right. Knowing Shikako, he probably won’t get another shot. By the end of this, he’s going to have to make a choice between two things he’s not sure he can live without.

He’s a coward, he knows, waiting until they get into bed, waiting until she’s as vulnerable as she ever gets, physically. But, saying this will make him vulnerable, and he will take any advantage he can. He is a shinobi after all.

And, if this means he can hold her in his arms like this one last time… well, shinobi are selfish too. Especially Uchiha shinobi.

Shikako gently rests her head on his chest, pulling him even closer than normal. I know what you’re doing, she’s saying, and I’ll allow it.

I love you, he wants to say back, but can’t. Sasuke can feel the bitterness in the smile this unspoken thought brings him.

Everyone else calls what they do dating, no matter how many times they’ve told everyone that they weren’t.

To be honest, Sasuke wishes this is what dating was. He loves falling asleep next to Kako every night. He loves making her breakfast, and getting dinner in return. He loves spending the bulk of his days with his best friend and closest confidant. If this was dating, that would mean this could be marriage too, and he could keep her forever, just like this.

But he’s pretty sure, when people say that they’re dating, that they would expect “more” from their relationship. Things neither he nor Kako seem particularly interested in.

Sasuke loves Shikako with all his heart, but he isn’t in love with her. He wants her, not all the things that would come with dating her.

Except one.

“I miss my clan,” Sasuke says in a hoarse whisper. And, dang it, that’s not how he wanted to start this. He had been practicing his speech in his head, and it’s already ruined.

It wouldn’t have mattered, to Shikako, even if he had started off on what he felt was a better foot. She’s been waiting for this moment for a long time, and now that the inevitable is here she would prefer to keep this as direct as possible.

“I know,” she finally says, trying to prompt when he doesn’t continue.

Sasuke looks down at her in surprise. She sighs and leans back, putting as much space between herself and him as his grip will allow.

He already misses that comfortable contact.

“I’m not surprised, Sasuke. I’ve always known how much you love children, and that you want to bring back your clan. This...” she waved her hand, encompassing the space between them, “whatever it is we have isn’t something the others understand. They only understand ‘romance,’ and ‘marriage’ and — and ‘heirs.’” She turns her head, staring up at the ceiling so she can only see his reactions from the barest corner of her eye.  “It’s… it’s okay. I’ll move out, and we’ll make it clear that we’re not a thing like that. Publicly. This doesn’t have to change anything else between us. I’ll always care about you so, so much.”

The resignation in her voice pains him to the core.

Shikako doesn’t give up. It’s one of the things he loves and hates most about her. Pain, death, the end of the goddamn world? Shikako has stared them all down, pushing forward until there was nothing else she could do, no matter what it cost her.

The only time she didn’t, the only time she ever gave up, was when—

She had no hope.

Was the possibility of a future with him truly so daunting? More so than the apocalypse?

But that made no sense. If Shikako knew this was pointless because of her own feelings, she wouldn’t be resigned, she would be firm. Decisive. That means she believes the problem is with him.

Couldn’t she see that he was trying? That he wanted to find a solution? Why was she giving up on him? On them?

“So that’s it then?” he mutters. “You’re giving up, just like that? Konoha’s most brilliant mind can’t see even a hint of another possibility?”

“Do we have another choice?” she shoots back. Isn’t that why he having this conversation with her? Instead of just going out and dealing with it? Why do this to them, if she wasn’t in the way? Doesn’t he know she would have suggested a solution if she had one? “You want a family. And you can’t find someone to start a family with if everyone already thinks you’re starting a family with me.”

“But that’s the whole point!” Why didn’t she understand this? “I do want to start a family with you.”

She stiffens in his arms. He holds her a little tighter, afraid she’s going to run. Afraid he wouldn’t be able to stop her if she did.

But he’s said it, now, and he can’t let her leave until he finishes. After that… he’ll deal with it when they get to it.

But Shikako beats him to it.

“You know I don’t — I don’t want that. I-I don’t want to do that with you. With anyone. I can’t be your wife like that, Sasuke. I can’t give you children.”

Shikako waits, bitterly, for him to understand. To realize that she can’t do it, and give up on her. Or, perhaps, for him to accuse her of being difficult. To try to change her, like Shika and the Nara, and everyone outside of Team Seven always has.

“I know that,” Sasuke reassures her. “Of course I know that.”

Shikako has practically wilted in his arms, and Sasuke doesn’t know what to say to make it better. He doesn’t ever want Shikako to regret the love she’s given him so freely. She should never sound like she’s failing him for something she’s always been clear she couldn’t do.

He needs to be clear on that point. He knows, and this is not her fault, but he needs to vocalize his dilemma, at least once. Needs to know that every possibility has been explored before he has to start deciding which pieces of his heart to cut.

He shifts, closing the space she had put between them and regaining that contact he so craved. She doesn’t pull away again.

“I love what we have, Kako. I don’t want it to change, and I know you don’t either. But, it’s not all that I want.”

She’s still, for a moment. Then, so softly he almost misses it, he feels her give a slight nod of acknowledgement.

“Then what is it you want, Sasuke? Exactly.” Is there really a compromise to be made here? she can’t quite bring herself to ask. Or do you still not understand what I’m saying?

Sasuke takes a deep breath and then he bares his heart to the only person in years who has ever held enough of it to break it.

“It’s just. In my dreams, we’re exactly as we are now. Except, in the mornings, when we wake up, instead of just making breakfast for two, we have a full table. There’s a little boy with Nara earrings practicing his Grand Fireball in the yard. Or a little girl, with Sharingan eyes, and an explosive touch, and her mother’s kind smile. Sometimes both, and maybe a whole brood beyond that, causing trouble enough to drive Sensei to drink, even though no one can prove it was them, because they’re too much like us to get caught. But, always at least one.

“And sometimes, I want them so bad it hurts. Because I want you, and I want them, and you have never wanted them. And I don’t know how to have you all.”

Sasuke sounds heartbroken, and Shikako wants to swoop in and fix it, like she usually does. But.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, her ribs shuddering against his. “But I can’t. I can’t.”

“I know,” he whispers back, pressing a soft kiss into her hair. “You’ve never like children. Not the really young ones. And it’s not fair of me to ask that of you. I just. I needed to make sure. To have you say it to me directly that you’re not interested in raising children—”

“No. You’re wrong.”

“...I’m wrong?”

Shikako sighs. She sits up, and he sits up with her, holding her in a hug beneath his chin. She stares at her hands as they twist nervously in the sheets. He waits, quietly, for her to continue, desperately trying to squash the flutter of hope that had risen in his chest at her denial.

“It’s not... that I don’t want children for their own sake. I’ve seen, with Kino, and Shikadai, that I can learn to connect with them. That they’re not so awful, and that I even rather like them once they start to speak. And now that everything’s over, that it feels safe to actually plan for the future…. Maybe. If you told me more about them, the ones that are so real to you, from your dreams. If you made them real to me too. I could see us raising a kid like that.”

As teammates, she can’t say, because that is the part that always trips her up. That that would be the ideal way for her to spend her life. As partners with him, in the most basic sense of the word.

But teammates don’t raise children together. They jointly train students, at best. No, it’s spouses who raise children together. Who give each other everything she’s given Sasuke, and then some.

But she can’t give him more, and she knows, no matter how much he says he wants her now, that he’ll realize one day that he wants more, and that she’s never going to change her mind and give it to him and he might grow to resent it. She can’t let him settle like that.

“I don’t…” She pauses, reconsidering her words. “I think I could help you raise a child. It’s just that I can’t have your child. I can’t do that. Not even with you.” She has to stop, to take a breath. She knows her voice is going to shake if she says more, is going to give her away, but it’s important to say. The most important, maybe. “Not even for you.”

Sasuke feels a slight dampness where her face is buried in his shirt. She’s tearing up, his brave, strong teammate who doesn’t cry even when faced with the end of the world. Her cheeks are flushed, and she won’t meet his eye. She’s embarrassed, he realizes.

Pieces click into place in his mind, and Sasuke finally understands exactly what her biggest problem with starting a family with him is. And it’s so much smaller of a thing than he expected; it seems so ridiculous that they’ve hurt themselves this much over it.

He can’t help himself; he huffs out a small laugh.

“Oh, is that all?”

“Don’t you dare make fun of me, Sasuke!” She pushes back against his chest, meeting Sasuke’s eyes for the first time since he had confessed. “Everyone knows it’s not some small thing. If we were married, there are certain expectations to be met. And everyone wants that! And they’re unhappy when they don’t get it! But not — I don’t, okay? I know that it’s weird, and not normal, but I never have. And that’s not going to change no matter how much I care about you!”

And yes, those are definitely tears, and they’re all, each and everyone his fault. She has been clear. But obviously, he hasn’t been.

Sasuke reaches out with one hand to cup her face, wiping away her tears with his thumb.

“Is that what the problem is? Not just children, but that you thought I was waiting on you to give me more?”

She nods, leaning her face further into his palm.

After the war, Sasuke had been Shikako’s rock. She had long made a habit out of breaking into his room at night and snuggling in close to him when she couldn’t sleep. But after the war, it became a nightly ritual, and slowly, more of her things had migrated to the Uchiha compound than had remained at home. And then, as their peers began to pair off and marry, it had started to feel like Sasuke was her only confidant. She had clung to him even tighter. She knew what it looked like, from the outside. What everyone assumed about them.

“I’ve always liked what we’ve had. But after the war, Ino said you looked at me like Sai looks at her, and that I better tell her when we made it official. And I could brush that off, once. But then Sakura said she was jealous. And mom and dad started making comments. And Shikamaru started glaring at you again. And everyone just. Seemed so sure. Even when I told them otherwise.”

But even as people talked about them more, Sasuke had never pushed her further. He had been so patient with her, and slowly she stopped feeling like she was leading him on, like she was keeping something from him, every time someone made that assumption again. She had started to think that maybe he didn’t want that from her either. That he could be happy with just this. She let herself get selfish, hoping that Sasuke’s dreams to revive his clan would somehow work themselves out without her having to give her place up.

“And now you’re finally admitting it, and when I tell you I can’t, you don’t believe me either! You think it’s funny, that I’m overreacting—”

Shikako’s voice is getting higher, her words are coming too fast. Sasuke shushes her, cutting through the rising panic.

“Shhh, Shikako. I’m sorry, I wasn’t laughing at you. It was just. A bitter laugh. At myself. For causing us so much trouble. When I said I want what we have now, I meant it. I don’t want more, except maybe some of the legal paperwork and rings...”

“Everyone always wants more—”

“I don’t. Really.”

Shikako wants to believe that. Wants to believe that he truly doesn’t want — need, the others sometimes said — more. But she know’s it’s not possible, because—

“You want a family. Kids. You want them so much it hurts.”

And there they were again. The sticking point. An impasse. Shikako wanted a partner. Sasuke would expect a wife.

“Yeah, and if I knew how to skip all the messy steps in between loving you, and raising a child, I would. Because I want to keep you - keep this - too.”

Sasuke relaxes slightly, and he feels Shikako uncurl a little in his arms.

“...You would?”

“I would.” He runs his other hand through her loose hair from root to tip, soft and soothing the way she likes best. “Kako, all I’ve ever wanted from you is for you to hold my heart — and,” he adds, to help ease the stress of being so emotionally vulnerable, “maybe, occasionally, my spare kunai.”

She smiles, snorting. “Lazy,” she murmurs, leaning back into his chest and holding him close.

“And maybe it doesn’t fix the problem,” he continues, “but it feels like it gives us a chance. Somehow, simple biology seems so much less daunting an obstacle than your feelings were.”

“It is,” Shikako says.

Sasuke freezes.

“...What?”

“It is,” She repeats. “Less of an obstacle. Than changing my mind.”

Sasuke blinks at her. She just shrugs.

“I’m pretty sure all of the science has been figured out on that front, actually. It might take some tweaking to do it more ethically, but I could probably steal the basics, at least, from the snake’s old notes. Tsunade never took away my access, after all the work I did stopping his creations during the war. It shouldn’t be hard to jury rig his cloning advancements into reproductive technology. I’d just need psych and medical oversight, probably, to get the go ahead. I’m sure Sakura and Ino would oblige.  If… if you’re okay considering something like that.”

Shikako glances up at her unmoving partner, suddenly afraid she had horrified him by bringing Orochimaru into something most people want to be good and pure and precious.

“...Sasuke?”

Sasuke realizes his arms have gone slack around while he was lost in thought, and he quickly holds her close again.

“Sorry, sorry. I just. I got distracted. By the bit where you said it wasn’t a big deal to completely subvert human biology. Like it might actually be possible to get everything we want.”

Oh, Shikako thinks. Not horrified. Hopeful. She smiles.

Sasuke’s voice doesn’t quaver on that last sentence. It doesn’t. Because that stupid hope is fluttering more strongly than ever and—

“I’m very confident it’s possible,” she assures him. “It’s going to be, like, so much paperwork though.” Shikako makes a face at the thought.

“I’ll help you,” Sasuke promises immediately. “You focus on bending the laws of nature, and I’ll fill out all those scary forms for you about it, okay?”

“Deal,” she agrees quickly. She and Sasuke have always worked well as a team. Together they could do this too.

Shikako lays her head back on Sasuke’s chest, and he curls his fingers back into her hair, and they lay back down, just feeling each other breathe.

“Sasuke?” Shikako asks, quietly, when it becomes clear neither of their hearts will be settling down anytime soon, after the rush of those revelations. “Will you tell me more about them? The kids you see? Will you make them real for me?”

XxXxX

Omake: "If you get me a ring, it better do something cool, like hide a poisoned pin or something." "Of course, Dear. I'd never get you anything less." "You know, we're going to have to come up with a better story for Ino. She's going to pout that you didn't ask me right." "Well, we can re-stage this next week, after I find you your murderous ring. I'll make sure it's demonstrably romantic enough to keep her off your back." "You're the best. See, this is why I keep you around." "And I'm grateful to be here." --- Omake 2: "Kako, what are all of these seals on our daughter's back?" "Oh, I just inked a few protections I thought up. Alerts if she starts crying. Barrier seals if someone tries to touch her with negative intent. Anchoring seals so no one can take her where she's not supposed to go. Explosives, because every woman needs them. Stuff like that. You know. Normal parenting things."

#naruto #dreaming of sunshine #asexual #fanfic #my fanfic #sasuke #shikako

[randomstarmuffin]

Uhm! Oh snap. So I’m late on the draw, as per usual, but @thatgirlonstage tagged me in a thing! I’ve never actually done one of these before, and I feel kinda honored, so: here we go!

A - Age: 19 B - Biggest fear: Failure, probably, even though I really hate that that’s my answer (failure to do anything mostly, but not wanting to fail is itself a great motivator to never do anything, so. I’m working on it)

C - Current time: 12:43 AM 

D - Drink you had last: water E - Every day starts with: flopping around on my bed for a bit before resigning myself to getting up F - Favorite song: tough. I’ve kinda got many, but notably Weightless by All Time Low and basically everything by Sick Puppies (Maybe, Connect, White Balloons, Odd One, I guess I could go on and on, haha)

G - Ghosts, are they real: I kind of want them to be, but I could believe it going either way. I’m more inclined to say no though, if I had to give an answer.

H - Hometown: eh I’ll just go with Southern California, I guess I - In love with: hm. good fiction, stuff I can get lost in. OH lol I think I just finally understood why “getting lost in someone’s eyes” is so romantic xD J - Jealous of: charismatic people / people who have an easy time speaking to or with other people K - Killed someone: you know, K could be for Kindest thing done to you or Knickknack you own or, um, Kazoo. okay, huh. maybe K is kinda hard. anyway, N to the O. L - Last time you cried: in the middle of Baby Driver, and I’m pretty sure I was literally the only one crying in that theater, hah M - Middle name: thanks to my dad (and he will never live this one down) technically E. (yes, period included) N - Number of siblings: one brother O - One wish: heh y’know this used to be to fall in love but I think I was just desperately trying to cling to not being ace and mostly aro as well. maybe now instead of an SO i’ll wish for a QPP? P - Person you last called/texted: my best friend, about the haircut I just got Q - Question you’re always asked: “How are you doing?” which, okay, yes, is polite and all, and not a big deal, but most of the time it seems really, hm. impersonal? and also there’s the fact that you’re kind of supposed/expected to say yes, and that’s not always true, but saying no just gets so much attention, so then lying it is, and. ugh :/  Almost as bad as the “Soooo. Any boys in your life?????”   R - Reason to smile: new haircut! ‘tis an undercut! It’s probably the shortest it’s been since I was a baby :) S - Song last sang: uh I actually do not remember that, I constantly sing without really thinking about it but I know I was singing something really random and old and probably classic rock-y a few hours ago. T - Time you woke up: shoot, sometime around 6AM, though I fell back asleep until 9ish U - Underwear color: gray today V - Vacation destination: would love to go to Japan and Scotland, where my family’s from W - Worst habit: oof shoot picking and procrastination are both things I do as well, Tal. I’ll add for myself that I’m horribly indecisive. X - X-rays you’ve had: teeth Y - Your favorite food: popcorn :) or bread or rice or y’know, all the carbs. Z - Zodiac sign: Gemini

Welp, there I go rambling as I tend to do when I get to typing things late at night. Uh…I guess this is when I tag people? So…lol you know what I don’t have that many mutuals, I’m just going to go ahead and tag all y’all: @retinz, @rhondatherussian, @dizzybunnies, @zizzani, @ghost–fox, @klanceful, @starr65748, @looklingart, @lesbianjason if you’re interested? No worries at all if you’re not, though! Seriously, it’s just that I’m awkward but I’ve seen y’all around and sort of interacted with some of you and you’re cool cats and I’m bad about reaching out and all that jazz. Feel free to ignore the thing, but regardless thanks to everyone for putting up with all my disorganized reblogging :)

There you have it, I’m off to bed.

#it me #i guess i dont really have a personal tag #then again i dont usually post #nighty-night to me