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#The Great Warning
inkskinned · 2 months
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you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.
(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)
but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.
(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)
there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.
(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)
you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.
(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)
you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.
in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.
but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.
they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.
it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.
#spilled ink#warm up#can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically#i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason#it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism.#and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out#we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you.#this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism#where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off.#your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell#at the industry - you are probably not listening .#anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit#but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance#> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally#> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field#> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :)#(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice#i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what.#cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men.#so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT.#instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them.#which btw. is like. actual feminism.)
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talesfromtreatment · 2 days
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I love them (and particularly him) Your Honor
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pybun · 4 months
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[volume warning]
straight out of a horror movie
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 months
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Welcome to the Dungeons of Fear and Hunger.
#Fear and Hunger#D'arce Cataliss#Cahara#Ragnvaldr#Enki Ankarian#Unlike Dungeon Meshi - I cannot in good faith recommend this game to a broad audience.#My background with F&H goes as follows: I am hanging out with a friend. He says “hey try this game I've been playing.” I say “Okay!”#I have never heard of this game. I pick the mercenary. I go through 5 min of character history and background. I am mauled to death by dogs#It took me 4 resets to even get in the dungeon. But I finally get there. I am caught by a guard. He cuts off all but one of my limbs#I am forced to crawl around in a blood and corpse pit until the game tells me 'give up idiot'.#I reset. I am mauled by dogs again. I realize this is not for me but I am intrigued enough to go home and watch some playthroughs#And WOW what an interesting game it is! I really do appreciate games that blend their design philosophy with the theme it wants to set#This is a game about fear and hunger. And persevering. And penis (my god is there a lot of penis)#I recommend this to people who like extremely challenging games and can handle the many *content warnings* within this series#If the idea of Bloodborne/eldenring and undertale having a little RPG maker baby sounds appealing to you - give it a shot#It's made by ONE GUY and it's a great horror game. I am just really bad at it.#My friends just enjoy putting me in situations where I scream and yell. We don't talk about the corn mazes. Or the other horror game nights#Apparently I'm funny when I'm Scared!#As people who follow me on twitter might know; I am deep in the pits of this series right now. I will be back with more art.
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r0b0t1me · 1 year
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. . . . . . . . .
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night-ah-ahks · 6 months
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now how did NONE of y’all post this GODDAMN
FLASHING LIGHTS TW
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awesomecooperlove · 4 months
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🇺🇸💵🤔
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witherfide · 4 months
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now who the hell gave him permission to be this fucking addictive ( @eepsy 👀)
haven’t felt like being on here. i come bearing gifts though!!
(DO NOT PUT ANYTHING WEIRD IN THE TAGS. IM A MINOR.)
close ups!!!
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pirateherokillian · 5 months
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Scream (1996) // Five Nights at Freddy's (2023)
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findingoblivion · 27 days
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It's really funny that @staff says they're going to do better about their moderation and harassment policies, but I've reported 20+ posts of the #radblr tag and not one of them has been actioned after 2 weeks. It's really funny that @ basedjack can still exist after weeks of mocking and harassing trans users and LGBT users and make our tags unreadable but they're still up and still doing the exact same things. Meanwhile the trans people in their asks and mentions? Gone, gone, gone.
This site is a pathetic fucking joke.
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birdietrait · 7 days
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community center - spring
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turnipoddity · 4 months
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ok i watched saw for the first time last night after seeing your devolution journey (affectionate) into madness. it was so good i cant shut up to my friends about it. do you have any lawrence/adam fic recs? im desperate also i LOVE your art kisses hugs ily
OH THANK YOU SO SO MUCH!!! always delighted that i can bring people to watch saw 😭❤️ here’s some of my favorites, although I’m sure I’m gonna regret it later bc i forget to include some other great fics, but here it is!!!
Strip The Paint, by fiddlestick
Give Me Shelter, Show Me Heart, by leetheshark
I Go Along With Nature, by punk_rock_yippie
Can You Feel My Heart?, by Vixenfur
1000 Words, by frigidphoebe
Dressed to Impress, by bleakmidwinter
I’m Your Secretary, by WolFGRRRL
I Shiver You With Anticipation, by whatifwekissedinthesawbathroom
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endless-exhaustion · 1 year
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WHERE DO I EVEM START?!
The animation?! The way New York looks like a painting?! The turtles and their antics?! Their voices and how it hits how young they sound?! The really fast shot of TURTLE TOTS DOING HIGH KICKS?! APRIL'S DESIGN?! THE LAIRD?!
"THEY LOOK LIKE LITTLE SHREKS."
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royalarchivist · 5 months
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Pac: I can try. See if can- I don't know- I can kill someone.
Tubbo: Okay, but look – we have the player advantage right now, which means if we decide to kill Fit or Phil, we win no matter what.
Pac: Wait, kill Fit? Are you sure?
Tubbo: Dude, we literally do not have a choice. He's trying to murder us today as well. It's literally- it's a mutual understanding. Don't worry. The morning crew bond will be repaired in- in twelve days time! Okay, like– In twelve days, the morning crew bond will be repaired. But right now, it's like– right now, think about it- it's like murder Fit orrrrr murderer Richarlyson. Like, I kid you not. It's that deep.
Pac: Oh in that case... Yeah, I see I see, ok,.
Tubbo: Exactly, exactly.
Pac: Let's go!
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 5 months
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Detectives at the Disco (Elysium)
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atundratoadstool · 2 months
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Do you know if your annotated Dracula website (the old one) is still accessable through the wayback machine? If so, would you mind sharing a link?
Sorry to have been absent from this blog for so very long that some time has probably elapsed since this was asked, but the good news is that while the old site probably has some accessibility via Wayback, I finally finally finally got it up and running at a new domain. You can check it out here. :)
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