Reading a Terry Pratchett book is literally just:
Here's a funny little joke
Here's something that you can tell is a joke but don't get and will only figure out five years later
Here's a surprisingly cool fantasy concept
Here's a unique and well written simile
Here's a lil guy
Here's something that has aged depressingly well into the modern day
Here's something that has aged remarkably queer into the modern day
Here's a character that you can barely understand what he's saying
Here is the most terrifying and deeply disturbing concept you have ever heard, casually mentioned
Here is the dumbest fucking pun you've ever heard but in the best way
Here is a quote so profound that it makes you view morality and the world in a different way
Here is a plot twist that you can't tell if it's genius or stupid
Congratulations! You've finished the book! It has fundamentally changed you as a person and you will never be the same!
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Dude this page is a lifesaver Google is really bad for working out the order to read them in
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every time i type five or more exclamation marks i think of this quote. it's my equivalent to that damn bbc sherlock line about scratch marks around the phone charging port. i can never escape the spectre of terry pratchett judging my punctuation habits
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The best They Might Be Giants joke ever is in Terry Pratchett's "Soul Music," which features a band called We're Certainly Dwarfs.
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This badly cropped Terry Pratchett quote I found is here for anyone who wants it
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if he was still alive I know in my heart that Terry Pratchett would have done a bit about Igors and Igorinas doing gender confirmation surgery by now. going into a lab full of bubbling vials and picking out a penis from a tank the way you pick a lobster. that one, please. you gotta be careful though because they'll really try to upsell you into getting two or three installed. people going to the clinic as pairs and just having parts swapped out for a discounted rate. maybe you actually just trade brains, that's even easier. Igorth have already been doing that thurgery for thenturieth.
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It’s not a Discworld joke unless you read it, don’t parse it as a joke, and then carry on with your life for ten years until someone stops you to say something like “It’s a pavlovian response because the dog ate a pavlova” and you scream Terry’s name with enough indignant rage you hope it rattles the pillars of the multiverse so wherever his soul is he’ll hear it.
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“Use your gifts and your talents to greatest possible effect while you can. Spread joy wherever possible. Laugh at jokes. Tell jokes. Make puns and bugger the embuggerances. Read books. Read my books. You might like them. You might find something else you like even more than them. Look for these things in life.
Question authority. Champion good causes. Speak out against injustice. Do not tolerate bullies or bigots or racists or anti-intellectuals or the narrow-minded. Use your education to challenge them. Broaden their perspectives. Make the world you interface with a happier place.
These are your choices. Choices you have been fortunate to have been given, so don’t waste them while you have them. Don’t look back in years to come and wish you had grasped a fleeting opportunity. Grasp it now with both hands, Live. Strive. Love.”
from A Little Advice for Life taken from ‘Terry Pratchett: from birth to death, a writer.’
—Sir Terry Pratchett; April 28, 1948 – March 12, 2015
One of the greatest compliments I've ever received is that I resemble Sam Vimes.
Mind how you go.
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Me: *agonizing over whether a semicolon goes here, what the proper dialogue should be there, other assorted rules and semantics*
Terry Pratchett: "!" said the stranger.
THAT'S ALLOWED?
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"People as things, that's where it starts."
Carpe Jugulum (Discworld #23) - Terry Pratchett
Going Postal (Discworld #32) - Terry Pratchett
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Ankh-Morpork Dashboard Simulator
happy 40th anniversary everyone 🥳🥳
🌅peach-bi-street
who’s that watchman who’s kinda skrunkly
🐀↺riverrat Follow
helen.
HELEN. ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT NOBBY NOBBS.
🌅↺peach-bi-street
oh yeah
#are you gonna look at me and tell me that im WRONG?
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🪙official-c.m.o.t.☑️☑️Sponsored with Blaze
C.M.O.T. Dibbler’s Escape The Room!!!!!
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#smallbusiness #ankhmorpork #ankhblr #deals
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🚹humantwitter Follow
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💌postal-service-top Follow
saw the postmaster today in his stupid gold suit. hes so hot
🌚↺lesbianbaker
i don’t get why people say this he’s the most average looking guy ever. his WIFE however
#you know that post that’s like ur at a lesbian bar and a hot older woman is smoking #and ur like. ‘can yuo put that out on me’ #yeah
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🥁evenmoremendeddrum Follow
do you guys think the patrician has a secret blog
🛤️↺makeyefret Follow
No, but I bet his secretary is on studyblr
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are you kidding me the patrician is definitely on tumblr. brb committing treason so i can compliment his shoelaces
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peer-reviewed tags
#lord vetinari if ur reading this is legally a joke #wear an owl pin if ur one of us
🏚️↺ankhmorporkheritageposts Follow
Ankh-Morpork Heritage Post
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trainhoe-deactivated19890205
hot take but i kind of think the guild of assassins and thieves are problematic. like one of them you could ruin someone’s life and the other one you’re literally KILLING people. i know rich people are delusional but i can’t believe they literally think the best school for their kids is murder college.
🐲essential-dragons Follow
assassins got them
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Sometimes I think about how Esme Weatherwax desperately wanted to be the evil twin, but the logic of narrative causality constrained her to be good after Lilly turned evil.
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