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#TW. mental abuse
girlyteengirl16 · 4 months
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healing is taking too long what if i just kill myself
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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...
#not a shitpost#serious post#ask to tag#tw trauma#cptsd#c-ptsd#and if so we should TALK about it#because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays#like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc#bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times#and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact#2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc#3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation#and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie#4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories#and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong#weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards#i got lucky there#also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons
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harmful-tropes · 8 months
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I have a distinct memory of laying in my bed as a kid and wishing with all my heart that I would get hurt. That I would get into a bad car crash or I'd disappear. So my parents would cry and realize they didn't cherish me enough.
I find it sad that younger me thought she had to get hurt to feel loved.
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muzgozjeb · 1 year
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a-sip-of-milo · 6 months
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Things people label as abuse when it's done to a partner that parents somehow get away with
Hitting/spanking. Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but fair discipline when it's a child.
No privacy (no privacy = going through their phone, tracking their location, attending therapy appointments, etc.). Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but good parenting when it's a teenager.
Emotional neglect. Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but "not the parents' fault" when it's a child.
Overworking them. Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but earning their keep when it's a child.
Doing things to purposely make them cry. Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but hilarious when it's a kid.
Breaking their stuff/deleting video game progress. Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but fair discipline when it's a child.
Forcing affection when they don't want to. Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but teaching them good manners when it's a child.
Locking them in a room that they can't escape. Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but "they've got to learn one way or another" if it's a child.
Expecting them to suppress their emotions. Abusive/toxic if it's a partner but teaching them to be mature if it's a child.
Getting angry when they ask a question/challenge your logic/need clarification. Abusive/toxic if it's a partner but teaching them to not talk back if it's a child.
Not letting them eat anything unless it's what you put in front of them (that includes not letting them get anything for themselves). Abusive/toxic when it's a partner but teaching them to be grateful if it's a child.
If you've ever labeled any of these things as abuse when an adult opens up about their experiences but will defend parents who do the same thing, you need to reevaluate yourself.
DNI: Narcissistic/Borderline/Anti-social/Histrionic abuse believers.
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maldefekt · 3 months
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HELP US ESCAPE!
Hello! It's me again. I know we keep asking for help, and I know this is a lofty goal. This goal, however, if achieved, will set us up for financial stability, for safety, for mental and emotional health, etc. This is our only hope now.
Kippers and I need to get out of KY. We are moving to Colorado. A thousand and some miles away from that which keeps us pinned down and suffocating. We are currently living in a bad situation. My sister is abusive toward us, and my mom. When she is home, we are not allowed to make *any* noise. We cannot speak above a whisper. We can't use the microwave, washer, dryer, or anything that makes noise. If we do, she yells, she screams, she insults us, she threatens us, slams doors, throws things, etc.
Please. We are incredibly stifled here. The two of us are both autistic, and trans. Two things that she does not "believe in" and readily spews vitriol at us for, saying transphobic and ableist shit at us daily.
We are both artists, but this situation makes it to where we can't even express ourselves through our art; we are too pushed down, the creative spark is dead.
We have a cat, Waldo, who needs to come with us if we can afford it. He can't stay here with her. She has already hit him once. She *will* do it again, I'm sure of it.
We have tried for years to work things out. We have tried getting her to leave. We have tried -everything- . There is no other resolution but this. We need to get as far away as we can, lest she try to follow. We need to be in our own home, away from everyone here.
Please help us.
1980/2750 - first goal
We are both working, Though Kippers is on temp disability. We still can't make it out by May with that. We *need* your help to get out. We need deposits, car repair, a pack rat, moving funds, etc.
I am dedicated to keeping the totals for everything added up on Ko-fi, even if the donations come from elsewhere.
My PaƴPâl is [email protected]
My Câsĥapp is $MalDefekt
My Kọ-Fi link is at the top.
Your shares, your reblogs, your donations, and your words of encouragement are what will get us through this. Please, please share. We are both willing to do commissions for anyone who donates more than 50$, just DM us with proof and we'll work it out from there. Anything will help, though!!
We have a goal of 10k
What this covers, in detail, will be under the cut:
Post Updated: 3/4/24 ; Lowered goal amt, updated info under the cut.
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This is the board lists everything that we need, with the approximate and average prices of what is needed.
• First/Last month's rent and deposits: $3,600 - We avg'd the area, and found the average rent to be around $1,200/month, with deposits equalling one month of rent.
• Other deposits: ~$830 - We are including the pet deposit of 500$ in this, plus water, sewer, trash, electric and internet deposits.
• Travel Costs: ~$1000 - We considered gas, incidentals, food, lodging for the middle of this 19hr drive, etc.
• Car Repair: $1500 $1000- My honda needs new brakes, a/c evac and recharge, transmission and coolant flushes, oil change, fuel filter, and needs the charging port fixed (for gps charging). Transmission and coolant flushes done for 200, not 250. Brakes and tires checked and are okay.
Paying off current rent: $2275 - We still owe the landlord this from when I had cancer. We knocked it down to $1500!
This is what we're trying to get help raising. We cant do this on our own in this amount of time. Please share this if you can. And thank you so much to everyone who has shared and helped thus far.
A special thank you to the following people;
@yakamashi-ao3 @gearthepunk @theramseyloft @thegrindragon @tway-la @mondhound @jayprawn @grrawesomeness @gendermuttreal @pulsarsatellite @v0idbird @iamthewanderingbard @dericbindel @sneeblbop @nonekop @thesketchystar @kibbits @basyacriptid
Thank you all so much for the shares, the boosts, the morale, the love, and everything else you've given us in the last month. We appreciate you SO much 💗.
(Link to commission post)
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brok3nvinyl · 1 year
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Why wasn’t I happy
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fieryprime · 9 months
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I think if I hear one more YT channel call that Colleen girl that abused and groomed kids "narcissistic", I'll implode.
Here are some basics:
NPD is a stigmatized disorder.
"Narcissistic" describes a person who has NPD.
I thought people learned this lesson when we removed "psychotic" from the list of insults you can throw around. Guess not.
The words you're looking for are "self-centric", "self-absorbed", "egomaniac", "egotistical".
Being any of the aforementioned does not make you narcissistic.
You can't armchair diagnose people. Yes, not even the shitty ones.
You can't claim that abusive behavior is connected to the person's disorder(s). Abuse is a choice.
By armchair assigning narcissism to shitty people, you are furthering the stigma against narcissistic individuals.
The risks of completing suicide in pwNPD are very high.
Narcissists are not inherently abusive.
Narcissistic abuse does not exist.
Colleen Ballinger is not a person with NPD.
Her actions are her conscious choice; her inability to apologize and make amends has nothing to do with pwNPD.
Leave the term "narcissistic" out of your mouth if you don't know how to use it.
And kindly, shut up about narcissistic traits unless you're narcissistic.
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faramirsonofgondor · 3 months
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“Gabe isn’t abusive in the show” ARE WE WATCHING THE SAME SHOW???
Gabe is literally introduced by yelling at someone who, when Percy apologizes for Gabe’s behavior, says “I’m walking out, you’re walking in. I should be apologizing to you.” And then Percy reluctantly and slowly walks inside. And Gabe immediately starts in on him (calling him “Genius” in a mocking tone) as Percy repeatedly expresses that he just wants to talk to his mom ( and Gabe’s subsequent “Is that all you have to say to me?”) The fact that he answered Sally’s phone and acted like he had every right to do so?? The way he shows begrudging respect when thinks Percy was violent towards another kid at school?? The “you would think that because you’re a child, you don’t understand things…” The way he gets annoyed that Percy wants to know where his mother is. The “what are we doing Percy? every time! wow…wow!” in such a condescending tone??? Percy’s immediate alarm when Sally calls Gabe’s name. Gabe immediately yelling at Sally, not knowing anything about Percy’s life (he didn’t even know his school’s name despite literally just talking to them), the way he makes Sally negotiate to use the car (“Why am I okay with this?” “Make sure they put the hot peppers on my sandwich please!”) the way he acts like his tone of voice shouldn’t matter to Sally because he said “please” the aggressive behavior even after he concedes to letting them use the car (getting in Percy’s face, pointing his finger at him, etc.), like???
Just because he isn’t depicted as smacking the shit out of them doesn’t mean he isn’t abusive. He is constantly yelling, even when it’s not necessary, and is overall condescending and rude towards both Percy and Sally. He has a positive reaction towards the idea of Percy being violent, which means that he probably has no problems getting violent himself, even if it isn’t show on screen. The fact that he is constantly trying to redirect Percy and Sally’s decision to make himself the center of it (he is trying to goad Percy into an argument when he gets kicked out of school and overall keeps trying to redirect the conversation back to himself, he acts like he is allowed to breach Sally and Percy’s privacy but then makes Sally get his permission to drive somewhere, and even then she has to give him something in return). Like he is very clearly controlling and emotionally/financially abusive (he acts like Sally’s things are his despite not having a job and likely blowing through their money). It also seems like he tries to diminish Percy’s self esteem, possibly to keep him and Sally under his thumb (it’s a common tactic used by abusers to make the victims feel like the need to depend on the abuser). Overall, just because he might not be physically abusing them, doesn’t mean he isn’t abusing them and doesn’t mean his actions aren’t harmful. Furthermore, just because he isn’t violent on screen doesn’t mean he isn’t violent.
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borderlinebaby420 · 8 months
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interact if you have ever been abandoned, judged, or disliked due to your mental illness. trying to see something
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bl0w-m3 · 3 months
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girlyteengirl16 · 8 months
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it is what it is (i want to die so bad)
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explodingsaturn · 10 months
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maybe i should just stop talking. i want all of my secrets back.
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dollotron · 5 months
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the empath phenomena that's emerged in the past 5-10 years on the internet is borderlining on cult mentality. The term empath was originally coined in J.T. McIntosh's science fiction novel "The empath" which came out in 1956. It's about telepaths.
it very often feels like people online use faux psychology about empaths to honeytrap people. Once they've gotten people's attention they'll start talking about "narcissistic abuse", "the evil narcissist", and how people with low/no empathy are dangerous or inferior to "empaths".
It's easy to recruit people into belief structures that "benefit" them. especially if you're pandering to and preying on victims of abuse that want to feel seen and heard. The recruitees will then spread the word because they've been indoctrinated into the belief structure. This is what cults do.
This isn't a dig at people with hyper empathy. Use critical thinking when surfing the internet.
You are not superior for having more empathy than another person. Actions speak louder than words, and just because someone doesn't experience empathy doesn't mean their actions are 'bad'.
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muzgozjeb · 1 year
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a-sip-of-milo · 6 months
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Need a reason to live?
Recently, I made four polls with eleven reasons to live in each. Most of those reasons were given to me by people who have also been suicidal in the past, and I decided to compile them into one long list (plus some) for anyone who needs it to come back to when they're out of reasons to keep going.
⚠️ Disclaimer: Please do not turn this into one of those "ALWAYS REBLOG IF YOU SEE" posts. Thank you. ⚠️
Relationships
Your furry companion(s) (this means pets and friends who are furries <3)
Your friends
Your family
Those who look up to you
To reconnect with someone you haven't seen in a while
Your headmates (specific to those who are apart of systems)
There's someone who isn't around anymore who would want you to keep going
To eventually be a mentor to someone
To make sure your animals never have to sleep alone
To fall in love
Your partner
To meet your online friends/mutuals
To tell your mentor/the people who raised you with kindness that you made it
To see someone close to you through their final days
To make it big enough to eventually provide for those you care about
Your FP (personality disorder specific)
Group photos with your (found) family and friends
To help your friends do the same
The friends you've yet to meet
A promise you made to someone special
Acts of kindness
To be there when someone needs you
To see someone smile because of you
To make a stranger's day a little brighter
To hand out compliments to those who need it
To make the world a little bit better before you go
To treat the people around you the way you wish you'd been treated
To be the one person in someone's life who is there unconditionally.
To help someone you love to quit an addiction
To do charitable deeds
Affection
Hugs from someone you trust
Kisses from a partner, close friend or pet
Cuddles when it's cold/lonely
To laugh until your stomach hurts
Forehead touches
To hold someone so tight that they're wheezing
Doting on people when they're feeling down
To make the people around you laugh
Interests
That new game/movie/show/book/album/etc. that you’ve been waiting for
Telling everyone and anyone who will listen about your special interest/hyperfixations
To share creations that aren't appreciated enough
To save up for something that would make life more bearable
To finally complete a collection
Projects would be left unfinished
To travel
To complete a project you've been working on for a long period of time
Projects you've yet to come up with
To start participating in special interests you've had to put on hold
To laugh at the creations you made when you were younger and less experienced
Those who consume your work would never get to see another creation of yours
Spite (because I think spite deserves Its own section:))
To stick it to your abusers
To prove your younger self wrong
To prove the people around you wrong
To prove your younger self right
To prove the people around you right
To spit on the grave of someone who hurt you
As a big 'fuck you' to the world and everyone in it who tried to silence you
To outlive your enemies
To do something that you've never been allowed to do (get a piercing, tattoo, cut or dye your hair, etc.)
To show off your success to the people who doubted you
To make sure whoever hurt you doesn't win
Milestones
You've got a milestone of some kind that you'd like to reach before you go
To see your (future) children reach a milestone of their own
To see a birthday you never thought you'd make it to
To graduate from school
To see your wounds from self-harm heal
To experience old age
To get married
To recover from your eating disorder
To experience independence
To start/complete your transition
To go on your first date
To get your first job
To adopt a child and give them the life that they deserve
To rescue a pet and give them a home
To purchase your first car
To rent/purchase your first house/apartment
To have your first child
To lose your virginity
To experience the joy of knowing you escaped/got through a bad situation
To eventually publish your own book/art piece/etc.
Miscellaneous
To finally get diagnosed with something important
So if nothing else, you can still say you survived
You have a bucket list you'd like to complete
To live because you want to, not because others want you to
Comfort drinks with someone you love
You wrote a letter to yourself that you can't open until a certain date/birthday
Those rare and valuable pieces of media with good representation of a minority/marginalised group.
To read through past conversations with people and cringe/laugh/cry.
All the different foods you've yet to try
To see the world become more accommodating to those who need it
To watch the seasons change
To celebrate the holidays
For those days where you do feel okay, perhaps even good
To eventually replace the stuff in your closet with things that represent who you are now
To read back on journals and diaries you made when you were younger
If you are not in a place where any of these help, that's more than okay as well. It will be here if and when you ever need it. Being suicidal can be extremely lonely and scary and we all deal with it in different ways.
If you have your own reason and you feel comfortable sharing it with me, let me know via asks or DM and it will be added as soon as I can ����
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