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#TLDR; you can’t tell a story that lacks in story!!!!
nakedbibi333 · 9 months
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hi bby
you’re someone i find to be very wise, very educated in the law so i’d like you to listen to me please.
i recently realised i don’t feel any fulfilment, and it’s causing lack. i’m not sure how to feel fulfilled because i don’t think ik what it’s like? but anyways.
i have so many questions and i feel as if the law has opened up a lot of them. i really wish i had someone to discuss this with but that’s besides the point.
tldr: i can’t seem to fulfil my wish and i’m heavily focused on the old story. how do i get out
Fulfillment doesn't have to be a constant or overwhelming feeling. Think about how you know you have something in your life. You know your name, you know your birthday, you know how you look. It's not an overwhelming or exciting feeling, right? Maybe you believe that you're not feeling fulfilled because you're expecting an emotion that is forced or constant, which isn't the case. It's supposed to feel as normal as the knowing you have for things you already physically have in your life.
Then, about being focused on the old story: This is why persistence is important. This is because it's not easy for most people to just assume a new belief immediately. Sometimes it takes a few minutes, hours, days, etc. Until you assume this new belief, you persist. While persisting, you should be reminding yourself of your new story you'd like to assume (you could be using methods, or just reassuming the state of fulfillment/knowing and then moving on with your day). You continue to reassume the new state until it's natural, and then you've reached the new assumption (and now have fully assumed the new story).
Kind of off-topic, but someone recently asked me why persistence is important if things can manifest instantly. They seemed to be frustrated that they hadn't manifested their desires immediately and were questioning me rudely, which is why I didn't answer it, but it's an important issue to address. Persistence is important because of what I just mentioned, that it's hard for most people to assume a new belief, especially if it seems impossible or if they are new to manifestation. So, we tell you guys to persist so that you can continue to work towards assuming your desire.
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a-sip-of-milo · 7 months
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Is it possible to be aware and have npd? I try to do research on this but all authentic npd sources are buried under so much ableism fhag i get too drained to keep looking after a bit.
I show some symptoms. I constantly have my first thought be that anyone who looks at me has a crush on me, is thinking about me, is captivated by me, and even though I get social anxiety I get upset not being picked first for something like being called on or telling a story or something. I also constantly feel like competing with everyone, and get upset over losing “competitions” that weren’t even happening.
However, after these thoughts, I usually think “well obviously that’s irrational” and I don’t act on any imaginary crushes, competition, or drama that I assume is happening.
I want to bring up this topic to my psychiatrist, but I’ve seen so many sources saying stuff like “narcissists can’t be aware, it’s very rare” or “narcissists never know they have a pd, they may go to therapy though”.
So I feel like by recognizing 1) that my thoughts are irrational or selfish, and 2) that I show symptoms of npd, I don’t really have it and I’m just a self centered person.
Your blog is the only place where I find consistently positive npd posts and debunking of misinformation, so I decided to send this ask, since again it’s harder to find info on places where there’s more likely to be ableism.
TLDR: Would you say it’s possible for me to have npd and be aware of it, or to have npd and be able to recognize and manage my symptoms?
Absolutely. The idea that people with NPD cannot be self-aware is harmful and extremely ableist, and also always encouraged by narcissistic abuse believers who are hell bent on turning the world against them.
Some of my closest and dearest friends are narcissists. All of them are extremely self aware and have gone through a lot of work - some through therapy and others on their own - to learn about and manage the behaviours deemed dangerous by society. This does not mean that they cannot possibly have npd.
A lack of self-awareness isn't even part of the diagnosis criteria. So yes. It is possible.
If you need some resources for those questioning whether they have NPD, you can click on this link:)
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knowlesian · 2 years
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Excuse to write about Lucius: 5?
ABSOLUTELY ALIVE, ZERO DOUBT EVER IN MY MIND
weird comparison, but bear with me here: you would think people who play poker would love playing with amateurs, but it’s actually a nightmare. this is because they don’t know what the fuck they’re doing, and are thus unpredictable in a bad way. sure, maybe you clean them out in the long run, but they make moves that seem insane and are hard to see coming.
ofmd is staffed by a bunch of tournament level poker players, in this analogy. they’re dedicated to telling the best story they can and good writers aren’t about that shock value life, because shock value twists are the mickey d’s fries of writing.
aka: good when piping hot! and then the diminishing returns set in.
if lucius dies there, that’s shocking for sure! it’s also thoughtless, lacking in intentionality, and kind of bleak: what is this show saying, if lucius is dead? and not just dead— but dead like that, in a way that will scar everyone who loved him INCLUDING ed????
that’s not just a tragic moment, it’s a cruel one in the face of everything that came before. for the characters and for us as an audience!
i just can’t see that from ofmd, not unless their mission statement changes drastically mid-stream or they all get brain-slugged in the off-season.
tldr: lucius is alive, or it breaks the whole narrative.
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Ranty Rant Rant
As a history nerd and someone who enjoys fantasy and history shows…. STOP MAKING THE MIDDLE OR UPPER CLASS THE MAIN CHARACTERS
I don’t mean stop as in you can’t, I mean stop as in it’s a little overdone
People seem to get it in their heads that the struggle of women back in the day was “oh we cannot work or study or choose our spouses all we can do is tend the house and throw parties 😔” and yeah, that gets idealized a bit too much. Cuz the reality of having limited choice isn’t a fun one. And yes, I do like seeing female characters make the most of the options presented and either try to still gain power this way OR blaze ahead and gain power like the men of the time.
Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy it. But we’re forgetting something. Poor women didn’t have the same struggles. They DID have to work. They just weren’t recognized as valuable workers the same way because “women no work.” So employers could get away with exploiting them, OR they had to resort to all kinds of ways to earn money.
And like, I enjoy seeing the stories done well. But a lot of times I see people idealizing the “good old days” where women “didn’t work” and I’m here to tell you
ONE, those didn’t exist. Women have always had to work. At least some of them
TWO, even those who didn’t really suffered. This wasn’t entirely a dream world for them
AND THREE, I feel like too many times we forget or intentionally ignore the historical struggles of the poor throughout history.
Listen. Nothing wrong with enjoying the aesthetic. But if I’m being totally honest, I am getting a little tired of pieces of media and even some people simplifying the historical struggles of the marginalized (specifically women in this context cuz that’s what I’m talking about) into just…. something so simplistic. I know there’s nuance here, but that isn’t really how it’s presented in the times I’ve seen
Look. Let’s not pretend that lacking the freedom to choose your life path for yourself was good. Even if you end up enjoying yourself in it, that’s still not the best life. Now I don’t wanna act like the problem is media portraying women enjoying themselves back then, or give off this “not like other girls” thing where I’m just like “these women bad, they not really women” or whatever. Because none of that is true.
I’ve just observed that a lot of times some historical media and people seem to forget this. The struggle of poor women and rich women and women from different countries and ethnicities looks different throughout history, and now also. And even though there are common themes, they don’t face all the same problems. And one woman’s journey at a certain time (or even now) can look totally different from another’s and yet they can both still be valid examples
TLDR: Basically I just want to see more acknowledgement in media for the nuances of women’s struggles and roles throughout history. And it’s my opinion that idealizing parts of the past doesn’t seem to go well. But y’all do whatever. This was my lil rant. Rant over
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thirtccnghosts · 2 years
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                   CAN’T TELL PAIN FROM PLEASURE
                                                   BUT I KNOW THEY’RE NOT THE SAME
BASIC INFO
Name: Mackenzie ‘Mac’ Rommely Age: 29, October 1 Birthplace: Vienna, Austria Occupation: Hitman for hire but if you ask he’ll change his occupation every time
PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES
Hair: Dark Brown Eyes: Heterochromia; L Eye:  Brown R Eye:  Blue Height: 6′0″ Distinct Markings: Various scars, family tattoo on his right forearm, tongue piercing
HISTORY
Trigger warnings: murder, assassination, guns, violence, death TLDR; Mac comes from a long line of assassins and was forced into the trade after his mother became the unfortunate victim of a hit from an opposing family. He never wanted to be a part of it, he wanted to be a musician just like her but his dad had other plans and over the years he found himself growing used to the lifestyle and abandoning his own wishes as a way to keep the peace and appease his family. His father passed a few years ago which left the other men in the family to fight over who takes over and he jumped ship and moved around, taking contracts on mostly political figures or other shady figures until he found himself in Vancouver. He still takes contracts for his family, mostly focusing on those he deems unworthy of walking this earth but sometimes he’ll follow through on his usual contracts. He also finds himself taking a lot of contracts for theft and trading of information.
Onward with the story.
He loves his mother more than anything. She checks under the bed for monsters every time he asks, makes sure to close the closet door too. She kisses his cheeks and lulls him to sleep with a lullaby in a language he, to this day, doesn't understand. Childhood never seemed as far away as it did with that memory playing in his head as his father held his hand, prying still chubby fingers open to dump the handful of dirt into the still open grave. It had been winter then, and he was happy, and then it was summer and he should be happy but instead sunshine was spent in mourning. A gray film colored his youth, trading playing in the mountains of Austria for target practice with his brothers, Mac often reflects on his last night with his mother. He should've asked her to check one more time. Sing one more lullaby. 
His teen years go by in a flash of blood spatters, knives, the ringing of gunshots and the ever looming reality that today might be his last. A long family of assassins by trade, it's not the life he wanted for himself. Mac wanted to be a singer like his mother, and even today sings to himself for comfort, for expression, for a reminder that despite everything he's still human. His father resented the idea that he became anything other than what their bloodline was born to do, and since his brothers had taken so easily to the trade he didn't understand the pushback he received from Mac. The youngest of the Rommely clan was vastly different from his dark hair, to his dimples, to his duo toned eyes that looked like his mothers, the patriarch of the family grew to resent his youngest song. He trained him too hard, let his brothers hit too hard, threatened the boy to the point of breaking and while Mac turned to stone, he refused to break. 
Begrudgingly, Mac finds himself going along with what he's been forced into. He shuts himself down and buries anything he could've been because if he doesn't the weight of the blood on his hands would be too much to bear. A cross heavier than it deserved to be Mac becomes a shell of a man before he's even grown into one. He views life through a sniper scope or down the slender metal of an arrow perfectly poised for firing. It passes him by job after job, season after season, until one day the head of their family passes and all hell breaks loose. It's a fight for the throne, and one Mac has no desire to take part in; his teeth have cut enough flesh, his skin already too bruised so he lets his brothers and cousins fight for the finish line. 
He picks up the slack while they do that, using the lack of breathing down his neck as a way to take it easy, to pick and choose, to play god with permission and he'll admit he enjoys it. A smirk on his face, dimples in full force as his headphone blast whatever his latest obsession is from his crows nest on a rooftop. A statue. A mountain side. It's too late when he realizes he's become exactly what his father wanted him to be, his own dreams pushed so far to the wayside they've floated out to see and sank. But even in this realization he's just a product of his upbringing and his apathy has grown so strong he doesn't have the will nor the energy to hate himself for it. The feud between the other males of the family grows more than he can stand so he moved across ocean lines, breaking ground on different soil and after floating around for a bit from New York to Las Vegas to LA, to Seattle he finds himself in Vancouver and decides this is a good home base for the time being. He figures if he wants to move he can, the next job usually decides for him anyway but the contracts here are mostly stealing information and it gives the gun in his closet a well deserved rest; an opportunity for Mac to clear his own head. Though old habits die hard, his handler always soothing in his ear as he squeezes the trigger again and again, he’s found what he’d assume is peace.
However there's a storm brewing and he can see it on the horizon; dark and angry. He isn't sure if he can weather what's to come one more time. 
EXTRAS
Some fun things:
He has heterochromia, one brown eye one blue but they're both dark so unless it's sunny it's not super noticeable. 
He still sings, and in his free time if he's working his motorcycle, cleaning his guns, or just at the laundromat you can hear him singing
By god is he trying to make friends and live a normal life, but his humor is a little dark and he often finds himself being quiet bc he says so many horrific things
The mfer has learned languages, many fighting and weapons skills, but he cannot cook or bake to save his own life he has burned water
He has a very hefty cat named Waffles
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flowercoasts · 3 years
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thinking!!! thinking!!! in the notes!!!!
#dunno if i’ll post this Out Loud but i do wanna say#that i heard about the c/r stuff and having not watched the show since ep 92 or smth#i gotta SAY: something that c/r season 2 suffered TREMENDOUSLY from was the lack of a cohesive main plot line for the majority of the show#it’s smth that vm had and what made them Work because they also had to go through the ‘why are we doing this grand quest’ stuff that i don’t#think that the m9 ever could feel other than sparsely because every action they chose#ASIDE from that because it was an open world and matt didn’t point them in any one particular direction#they hopped from arc to arc without really finding any natural conclusions or good tie ins imo#at times it just felt like..... So What Do We Do Now? and someone went: Hey! look at this note! and they did whatever while the world moved#you know? like i feel as though c/r2 was an excersize in matts amazing open world abilities and he even said i think that he wanted the m9#to chose their own directions which is GREAT! good concept. but as a form of entertainment it just felt so incomprehensible so now at the#end of their journey it feels so unfinished. bc they spent so much time doing nothing or leaving things unfinished when they could’ve spent#it character building or confronting their pasts or whatever and then the campaign loses steam at the end#bc they reached the main plot line 3/4ths of the way through the story.#do you get what i mean?????#might talk abt this more later but anyways! great concept poor execution#flower talks#this is why short campaigns but excellent storylines are still just as good if not better cough cough go watch d20!#miss the vm story gotta say#TLDR; you can’t tell a story that lacks in story!!!!#essentially they were main characters who acted like side characters the whole time#or side characters shoved in the main character plot at the end#that’s why i liked the early eps i think cause it was such an amazing set up for the m9... like they lost a member but they’re ready now to#go forward and heal and put everything molly said into existence and growing as a group while focusing on their Main Quest or whatever#idk i get that it’s non traditional in Form like m9 is just non traditional all around#but there’s only so much that explanation can get you when you’re telling a story as a form of media
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PART 1 of 6 of the Owl Deity Hooty Theory
[NEXT PART]
[OWL DEITY HOOTY THEORY MASTERPOST] (in development)
(TLDR at bottom of post)
Over several long months of research and analysis since March of 2020, I have been following an utterly fascinating thread of potential misdirection and subtle details throughout The Owl House, and today, I would like to start weaving together of what I believe could become one of the biggest and most cleverly disguised twists in the entire show.
To begin, let’s take a look at the B plot of Understanding Willow:
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On first glance, it’s an ultimately inconsequential sidestory with the sole purpose of justifying an excuse to keep Luz and Amity in Willow’s mind, as well as providing some well-needed room to breathe and release tension after the veryemotionally charged confrontation with Inner Willow. After half an episode of Eda and King outdoing the other in ridiculous ways to win Gus’ vote and Gus running off in frustration at the end of the episode from Hooty’s inane rambling, it’s easy to laugh off Gus’ pick and assume that nothing/of value was said when he closed the door for the interview.
However, if one pays close attention to that very scene, Hooty actually canstill be heard (if faintly) underneath Eda and King’s grumbling, interestingly talking about how “It all started with a hunt. Blood red skies. That’s right, I was created-.”
Now, while it may seem silly to focus on dialogue from Hooty of all characters, this A) tells us that there was an event in the past involving blood red skies and a hunt of some kind, B) that Hooty had been created close to said event, and C) implies that what he knows but can’t tell as a story worth a damn is EXTREMELY important to be included and be hidden in such a manner.
For comparison, the only other instance of dialogue being tucked away in the background in the entire show is in Wing It Like Witches:
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During the lecture at the beginning of the episode, the history teacher openswith lore on Belos appointing a head witch to each coven over 50 years ago, immediately cluing in the audience to try and decipher the rest of the lecture as it moves to the background. Adding to this is how the musical sting when Luz shows off her movie obscures what he says even further, making it even more of a intriguing puzzle that the creators clearly intended for viewers to pick up on and attempt to solve.
In contrast, the hidden dialogue of Hooty’s interview is much shorter and not as hard to decipher as the teacher’s history lesson, but at the same time, there are few to no indicators whatsoever in that scene to clue in the audience to even check for something like that. It comes at the end of an episode where most viewers would have been paradoxically tired out and driven abuzz by the revelations of Amity and Willow’s relationship, doesn’t attempt to draw much attention to itself, and frames itself as a comedic subversion of audience expectations with neither the “greatest witch who ever lived” or the self-proclaimed king of demons being picked by Gus.
Instead, he picks someone that the show portrays constantly as an oblivious and gullible idiot after being described as a “state of the art defense system” at the very beginning of the series. Someone who, despite it being played for laughs, is scarily capable of casually subduing Lilith offscreen one episode and then beating her and an entire squad of Emperor’s Coven members without even the slightest change in personality or temperament.
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Someone who, due to being the Owl House itself, could be considered the titular character of the entire show, yet is taken for granted by those who inhabit him and barely gets any respect from even the cutely patronized King - including when Hooty could be interpreted as having potentially been full on DEAD for a time given the use of extremely cartoony X eyes and a lack of vital signs in The Intruder.
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And someone who Eda at best tolerates and at worst abandons in personal interactions and only occasionally acknowledges him when he’s actually doing his job. Yet at the same time is so implicitly trusted beyondprotecting her home to the point where - when up against the closest person Eda has to an equal outside of likely Belos - the only actually recognizable spells Eda used in combat were 1) stereotypical energy blasts, 2) a single shield spell in Covention, and 3) a noticeably large reliance on imitations of Hooty above any other spells she could have decided to use instead.
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In short, the show repeatedly tells us he is just an idiotic gag character through and through, but at the same time demonstrates he has immense power through both onscreen and offscreen demonstrations, implicitly tells us his importance ahead of time through Eda’s imitations in actually serious situations, and treats his interview and origin story as - if not even more- important to keep secret than a long lore dump about how Belos’ reign works.
After all, there being only two instances of hidden background dialogue in the entire season is already intriguing on its own, but for one to get plenty of clues to draw in people’s attention and for the other to be treated as just another gag about a “mere comic relief character” - aka a good way to draw away attention and lower one’s guard - heavily suggests a far deeper significance buried under layers of misdirection, comedy, and conditioned audience expectations.
I mean, when Eda bragged about being “a bad girl living in a secret fortress,” Hooty followed with a remark about how “I’m the secret.” While that line may sound like Hooty simply being confused as part of a one-off on the surface, it’s an odd dialogue choice for the writers to pick when you think about all the other reminders of his nature as the house itself throughout the season. With the precedent these moments set, it would have been much more appropriate for him to latch onto the “fortress” side of “secret fortress” AND it would have been just as equally funny of a joke about his awareness skills, but instead, Hooty broke away from the established trend to say something that would make people suspicious were it to come from anyone else.
In a way, this reminds me much of the many subtle bits of foreshadowing strewn across the show, like Luz unknowingly describing Amity in Witches Before Wizards and Eda burning a hole through Luz’s coven type quiz that coincidentally selected the same track she had taken at Hexside as “a punky potionist.” At the time of airing, these initially seemed like one-off jokes, but eventually came back in full force several episodes later with Amity’s hidden sensitive feelings and love for the Azura books becoming clear in Lost in Language, and the reveal of Eda’s school track in Something Ventured, Someone Framed with her school misdemeanor pictures.
That said, compared to these individual bits of minor foreshadowing, the jokes about Hooty in Understanding Willow appear to simply be the most obvious pieces in a giant puzzle, implicitly and outright telling attentive viewers that there’s a major mystery to be uncovered here.
In fact, I feel bold enough to say that we could be looking at a twist on a similar scale to that of the Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz and Stanford Pines twists in Steven Universe and Gravity Falls respectively, what with this particular puzzle piece coming from how Gus wanted to make THE greatest interview of all time, and how he was looking for someone who was “interesting, accomplished, AND noteworthy:”
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Note the emphasis on the ‘and’ here, as Gus had made a big deal that “people aren’t meantto be all those things” at the beginning of the episode, so as a result, stripping away all the comedic framing of his subplot leaves the intriguing implication that whoever - and, perhaps, what- Hooty is, they really are the most interesting, accomplished, AND noteworthy person out of everyone.
I could go further and talk about why I suspect the mystery surrounding King’s origins, whether true or not, is partially meant to misdirect us from paying attention to Hooty, or how the TOH crew’s could be disguising legitimate clues to his nature among made up and highly meme-able joke answers in order to proliferate said concepts throughout the fandom - thus letting us do all the dirty work of getting ourselves used to the ideas and used to dismissing them at the same time - but to bring things to a close for now, I’d like to leave you all with a question that I’ll start answering next time:
What does it mean when both the most powerful and notorious witch on the Boiling Isles and the possible actual king of demons/the Titan itself/something don’t match up to a house? And what do you think it is that makes him so special to warrant such misdirection?
TLDR: Between Eda’s golem spells, the show stressing his nature as the titular house, his implicit strength, and the odd dialogue and structure of Understanding Willow‘s subplot in relation to him, I believe I have good reason to suspect the show has been giving us many hints towards Hooty being much, much more important than it would like us to currently believe or even joke about. Particularly, through clever uses of comedy to establish and enforce a strong audience bias against looking closely at him or unironically taking him seriously, and to potentially plant the seeds for something I will start exploring in Part 2.
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pangolin-404 · 2 years
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the lack of organization in dsmp lore saddens me; while I understand improv is a huge part of it, many ccs don’t get to carry out the lore they want because of constantly changing conflicting schedules. I think Dream adding more people was a bad idea and will only make the lore more cluttered
(a bit of unorganized rambling about the continuation of Dream SMP lore. It’s below a cut because I know some people don’t fancy seeing it. I don’t think it’s too long, though.)
TLDR: A story cannot go on forever.
It’s the first time a story has been told like this. Many stories, all woven together told live, where “canon” is a whim. And these stories could really be told no other way. It’s big, it’s messy, of course it’s scuffed. The scuff and impulse have a charm to it. I’m not blaming them for the way it’s turning out. To me, at least, it feels... tangled. Like they don’t know what they’re doing anymore. It’s impossible to plan, with so many variables.
cc!Eret mentioned never getting the c!Eret redemption arc they wanted. cc!Dream changed the script two minutes before Technoblade’s prison-break stream went live. There’s gotta be a difference between improved lore and lore that’s been planned for months; there’s gotta be different boundaries set for what can and can’t be changed minutes before things are set in motion.
Season 4. 4 winding, incredible seasons of Dream SMP.
Nobody’s story has been tied up. 
The Dream SMP is an ongoing, constantly changing series. Everyone has their own character, and while certain characters are given more love than others, everyone needs their moments in the spotlight because everyone’s a main character.
But a story cannot go on forever. It just grows more convoluted and will inevitably contradict itself. Maybe this is my bias because I like c!Tommy a lot, but I’m using him as an example: He is trapped in an endless cycle of torment. He’s snarky and rude and steals, people steal back; it is habit within the SMP to not heal. So it continues. Dream hurts him, Tommy suffers. He gets a brief respite with Sam Nook, but then Jack Manifold stole his hotel. Tommy is murdered and for a moment, people care, but when he comes back things feel off, you know? And now Eryn’s Dream shrine is a ticking time-bomb for resetting the cycle, for putting Tommy through the wringer again.
I’m so, so fond of Dream SMP. It’s a spectacular story with wonderful characters. But it has to end someday. The largest loose ends have to be tied up in a satisfying way eventually.
I’m a sucker for happy endings. I want c!Tommy to have a happy ending. I want Ghostbur back. I want c!Dream beaten to death with a steel chair. I know the authors, the narration, could decide a fair ending is not what some characters will get. But there is no end in sight. These characters grow and change but sometimes they’re left alone for one reason or another, like the egg arc. Nothing ever ends. These characters can never rest so long as there a story to tell. I’m not sure if this makes sense; I’m by no means a professional story-teller, but that’s how I’m beginning to see the SMP lately. An endless story.
The only one I believe had an end so far was Schlatt. His story was nice; it had its arcs, it left an impact, and his death was a satisfying conclusion. But that was so, so long ago.
Is it just me? I feel tired, seeing a new wave of torment hit everyone and renew the cycle. c!Quackity mentioned something similar, in his grandiose speech about revenge. It’s just not worth it anymore. They deserve rest, whether that be with found family or six blocks under.
Again, I’m not blaming the creators. It’s a Minecraft roleplay, for Christ’s sake, it’s not a high-budget Netflix original. The content creators have their own lives and with so many people it’s immensely difficult to steam big multi-character lore events, and I think Dream adding more people was a very bad decision.
Maybe that’s just me. Maybe I’m falling out of interest with the source because I like character to be happy and that’s the source takes away and it’s what the fans give. Maybe I’ve got brainrot and I’m a weakling for not putting up with watching more fictional trials and tribulations. Wouldn’t be terribly surprised if I threw my arms in the air one day and said, “You know what? It’s not my thing anymore. I’m going to let the fandom make things happy since it never lasts in canon, and I’ll enjoy the fan-content, but that’s it.”
Maybe the creators themselves want the improv back. Maybe they want the carefree nature of the early SMP back, and that’s understandable; back then it was less of a straight-up television show with a million eyes watching and more a group of friends having fun on the spot.
I don’t hate or dislike the SMP at all. I still like it plenty. I guess I’m... worried. I’m worried for what time will bring. And I wonder if anyone else has come to similar conclusions, or if this line of thinking makes sense to others at all.
I’ll say it again, because that is my thesis:
A story cannot go on forever.
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masterhandss · 3 years
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Who do you think katarina will end up with?
Anonymous asked: Who do you ship katarina the most with ?
I got these two questions consecutively, I'm assuming they are coming from the same person so I'll combine them to a single reply, if that's okay.
People who have been following me since the first season can probably tell that I really like Geordo x Katarina (GeoKata) the most out of all ships. At first it was mostly just because I have an unintentional biases towards characters with blonde hair, which is why favorites were GeoKata and MariaKata, but then when I slowly got into the series more, my biases permanently shifted to the G-boy.
I'm not really a fan of laying out why I like certain ships through test to be honest. I usually get super frustrated when zine mods ask contributors to explain why they like a character or ship for contributor spotlight graphics because I can never really say everything I feel correctly hgdsjsdgfj, which is a good thing someone had already asked me a similar question before so I'll just copy paste my response here if that's okay :DD
TLDR; I ship Katarina with Geordo (Maria, Sora and Cezar behind him), and I think Katarina will end up with Geordo :))
You didn't really ask why but I'll give it anyways :)) -> major light novel spoilers, by the way <-
I'm not really the most deep person, if a ship has the bare minimum of something that I like (a trope or a hair color combination) then I stan it hard. That's why I used to be so equally adoring to both Maria and Geordo, because hurrdurr blonde hair hurrdurr. But the more I read the books and got into the community, I eventually liked him more than Maria. I didn't understand how or why at first, since Geordo and Maria are undergoing a very similar character arc: both characters wants to become better people in order to become worthy of Katarina (Geordo emotionally, and Maria physically? magically? in terms of her position/social status? I can't think of a right word but you get it). Again, Maria and Geordo's struggles are similarly written but one of them is more compelling to me. I feel like Maria's problems are easier to solve (her inability to rely on people, her attention seeking and her desire to be more magically powerful) imo, since she's already a well-liked figure in the Ministry and she's already a high-level magic user. Geordo's though; the series doesn't put too much attention on it, but despite the fact that Katarina gave his life color, he still somewhat sees the world in a desaturated light even post-childhood according to the novels and his lack of empathy still prevents him from completely absorbing all the colors. He's still learning how to see and he is happy that Katarina is always there to help him learn how.
I just love the irony that Katarina sees Geordo as a Perfect Prince and feels that she is inferior and unworthy of him, but then Geordo also seems himself as flawed, inferior and unworthy of Katarina and sees her as someone perfect. Geordo constantly wants to be better for Katarina (and for the people around him), and in time, maybe he could become a motivation for Katarina to be better too (on Katarina's side though, because on Geordo's she doesn't have to because she's already perfect the way she is). Geordo, while being self-centered and aggressive in his pursuits, isn't always selfish and thinks about what Katarina wants too. He'd fight tooth and nail for her and will do whatever he can so that Katarina will love him in the same way, but that doesn't mean he wont respect her decision if she falls in love with someone else, he just wont lose without a fight that's all (and fight, he'll give that's for sure).
Geordo is crazy in love with her; wants to protect her happiness, keep her safe whenever he can, and is even willing to both fight to become king and throw away the life he currently knows if it means he can live a life where he and Katarina can be together wherever she is most content and happy. He wouldn't lock her up in the castle like a caged bird like what Keith and some fans of the series thinks, whenever he does have thoughts like that like in Volume 6, its his internal response to the lack time they can have together alone, rather than being indicative of how he wants to treat her (like in his desire in Book of Desires, he conjured up a literal honeymoon because a honeymoon is the only time where he can spend it with her alone without someone butting in! It's weird and exaggerated, but his desire is simply to just be able to spend a day with her and be able to pursue her romantically without the threat of people like Keith and Mary).
Katarina sees him for himself, and she extends her hand of friendship to him despite all her fears of her bad ends involving him. She knows he's a "sadistic prince" but doesn't always tie him to that title. Out of everyone, Katarina has just as bad, if not worse, initial impression of Geordo compared to almost everyone around him (Others sees him as a Perfect Prince while she sees him as a Sadistic Prince and Future Murderer), and yet she accepts him and wants to learn more about him. She supports him and wants him to find happiness in love with Maria, even if it means she'll get exiled to another country or to a far off farm! (i'll edit this with citations later)
I can't help but want that for him, someone who there for you through thick and thin, who supports him despite everything she knows about her future involving him. Katarina is everything he would ever want in a partner: someone who isn't disturbed by his past, can see through his fake smiles, constantly cares for him, sees him beyond his princely façade, is one of his first friends who has helped him create friendships with other as well that prevented him to wallow in isolation and hate of the version of himself that society created for him, is genuinely interested in him as a person, is endlessly fun to be around and unpredictable, and is overall beautiful inside and out.
Again, a lot of Maria and Geordo's struggles are very similar to each other, but I'm more interested in Geordo's side. I find it more compelling. Geordo's scenes always almost provides something new, we get to see him angry, flustered & embarrassed, scheming/conniving, possessive, grateful, sad & frustrated and so much more. Maria has that too (we get to see her sad and thankful), but this might be my own perspective of reading the novels, but Maria's scenes kinda feel the same to me. It almost always starts with Katarina helping her and her realizing time and time again how much she loves her and become more motivated to be a better version of herself. I mean its unfair to say that they are all the same but that might just be me. (Maria: wow I'm so grateful for everything Katarina has given me, I want to be with her forever (rinse and repeat for the next 5 books))
Yes I know it's beautiful to see Maria falling deeper and deeper in love with Maria, but I'd rather see moments of someone who is trying to advance on those feelings rather than someone who is still trying to understand what they feel. Declarations and descriptions of love are beautiful in literary works and it always gets my heart fluttering, but I can read fanfics if I want to see that be written in 8 or more ways. Give me some action, some internal conflict!
It also doesn't help that it makes me really really happy for Geordo that he's made a dent in Katarina's baka shield? Katarina's heart skipped and fluttered for a second when Geordo was patting her head, and it makes me want to root for him even more! (Yes, go break the bubble! You can do it!!)
It's not even the same doki-doki as when she gets charmed at how pretty Maria is, to me its different in a way that my small vocabulary can't explain.
And besides, it really is just a battle between the protagonist that almost ruined her life (Maria) and the love interest that almost ruined her life (Geordo). Keith is part of that equation too, but he was never a threat after they became close (narratively, its seriously just Maria vs Geordo vs Keith, ignoring the changes to that narrative by FL2). It's always about Geordo (and Maria), everything she's doing in the Fortune Lover 1 Arc is because of Geordo (and arguably, Maria & Keith too) and the consequences of where he decides her future to would lead to.
It has to be Geordo, in my opinion, to show her that things aren't the same as the game (and he already kinda has, just a dent though) (If not Geordo, it should be Maria). He, who she feared and yet cared for so much
(I know Fortune Lover 2 basically removes that importance of Geordo and Maria specifically to Katarina's narrative by making her an active problem in all routes, finally becoming loyal to the title "All Routes Lead to Doom", but its not like the story is digging into Katarina's brain that she's sword training for the purpose of fighting back against all the boys, its still just Geordo, so idk I still count that in my shipper brain)
It also also helps that Geordo is basically the poor bullied animal in the hamefura community's eyes, regardless of how far he is into the battle (like in the reddit discord lmao). Yeah he has the best chances which is why many people both in and out of the series find it so fun to drag him under because of his unfair advantage, which is fair, but just like how you feel when you see a small wounded animal, you can't help but want to help someone who has the whole world against him (there's literally a canon manga page with that joke lmao), which is how I eventually felt over time. He's so misunderstood and bullied by people despite the authors dedication to flesh him out more beyond being a possessive prince fiancé of Katarina because of the anime's adaption, so I'd rather give my biases to someone who needs (and deserves it) rather than other contenders who are already overflowing with love and support. Also who doesn't love a perfect guy who breaks when his beloved is harm/who opens up to the person he cares about most?
I know people will read this and find it unfair that Katarina is giving so much to Geordo, but he isn't really giving anything to her. One thing I'll agree that Maria has over Geordo is that Maria makes Katarina want to try and work hard. Seeing Maria improve her magic wants Katarina to do the same, and whether or not it's from motivation or fear of getting left out depends on the reader. So far we don't really have anything like that for Katarina with Geordo because most things involving Geordo intimidates her, compared to Maria who is surrounded by mysteries and adventure (though arguably it's Katarina and not her lmao, but Kat doesn't know that).
Katarina is already the most well-adjusted character in the story even as a child so the only thing to really explore from her is mostly just her relationships and skewed sense of reality. That's why I hope that Geordo will not only help her realize that she can be loved by her peers romantically despite her self-perceived position/role, but also be one of the persons to make her completely realize that she isn't living inside a game. I mean like I said a few paragraphs ago, he's already kinda doing it by constantly confessing his feelings to her, reminding her that he is a person with his own feelings and not a character programmed to fall for a heroine.
So yeah, I ship Katarina with Geordo for those reasons and believe they should end up together for those reasons.
If you ask me who I think would she end up with objectively, I'd still say Geordo. The author's focus jumps between Geordo and Maria so that really depends on who you're asking. It also doesn't help that Geordo is always in the marketing with Katarina in the books and games, which pretty much cements his Male Lead status to Katarina's Female Lead status lmao
Thank you for the ask lmao, I'll be updating this with more thoughts and possibly citations later :))
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syntiment · 3 years
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LMAO some of the takes y’all have against Bones are just obvious that you don’t like something because it’s popular. 
I don’t normally stick my foot in the door for neg talk but the very clear lack of understanding that extrapolating on an alternate universe and trying to constrain it by the canon expectation can’t exist in the same writing. Alternate universe means that the effects that made these characters who are they are aren’t going to line up exactly point for point with the canon timeline, there has to be some change to make it work, which is why characters act differently or their roles are different depending on the world setting there in. Some characters that take the narrative focus are going to have different story beats and different ways of expressing world beliefs and supporting cast is going to have a similar change. 
Like listen, you don’t have to like something that’s gained a lot of traction, but when the basis of arguments boil down to “I don’t like how this character was written because it doesn’t fit my personal niche expectation of them” and you decide to declare that this is some flaw of the author and not just a personal difference in tastes is really telling. Just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean it’s bad and deserving of being shit on, but I understand that the internet has given people a really warped sense of literary analysis. 
The TLDR of this post is that some of you need to shrug off shit you don’t like and redefine your expectations for what happens in an alternate universe piece of fiction.
You also need to be made more aware that there’s almost a 90% chance that the people you don’t like and want to be assholes towards on the sly are going to see what you’re saying, so maybe some things are better kept to yourselves.
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lepusrufus · 3 years
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So I'm not really sure if this has been asked yet but how does the actual plot of RE8 fit into your AU? Is it something you have plans for, like Miranda never kidnaps Rose, sommit like that or nah? Either way I still bloody love all your stuff!
That's a great question and it actually got me thinking on this.
For starters, the events in Double edged scalpel take place quite a bit before the events of the game, around 2010 or so, even earlier. Dani and Anita's "story" happen in a similar timeframe while Laura comes along a couple years later. (I'm not sure if I'll be writing full on fics for them but I will write oneshots and such to expand on their characters/relationships)
Now for the actual game events, the tldr is Miranda isn't an idiot playing stupid games.
In my AU, she has no intention of messing around. She kidnaps Mia, gets in the house (as Mia), waits for a moment when Ethan is distracted and takes Rose. Before anyone manages to catch on or anything. She then takes Rose with her and just keeps her under her careful watch until the time for the ceremony comes. No splitting her up, none of that redundant stuff.
Ethan manages to find his way into the village, but again Miranda is not being a fool and wants him captured and in a damn cell asap to be experimented on later. No Heisenberg's lil death obstacle course, none of that. Ethan just goes to the castle and does some damage thinking Rose is there. The gals, knowing when to pick their battles just tell him that he's wasting his goddamn time and to leave their home so they have time to regroup (nobody dies tho).
Then he makes his way to the Beneviento house and, since Donna deserves to go full fucked up villain, she captures him. She has the power to psychologically destroy someone and that's exactly what she does, rendering him pretty much brain dead, his mouldy body to be studied later.
Also should add in the fact that the cult has a less... "Miranda is purely using us and will get us killed with the first occasion" dynamic. She does want them around and alive. She basically wants to create her own mini empire (for lack of a better word) for her to rule over and the Lords are all part of that. And therefore, Heisenberg for example, is a lot less inclined to betray and kill her. Also also Miranda doesn't just.. straight up has everyone killed. Dunno I feel like it's at least a bit counterproductive killing all your worshippers instead of collecting people from the outside to work as biomass.
Now with Ethan out of the way, back to Miranda, Rose and Mia. Miranda doesn't actually want to use Rose herself as a vessel, but use a tissue sample to make a copy that then can serve as a vessel. It's not out of the goodness of her heart mind you, it's more of a guarantee the if anything goes wrong with the process, the "original" is still there to get more samples from. Mia doesn't want that but she doesn't exactly have a say in this. It does work though and Miranda gets her Eva back yay for her ig. Mia also gets Rose back and Miranda, in an odd act of kindness, promises that if they ever need anything, Mia knows where to find her.
Now, where things get a lil' weird. Should preface this by saying that I'm basing this detail of the AU on my favorite book, Annihilation (from the Southern Reach trilogy). The gist of it is: aliens create an anomalous area enclosed in something akin to a force field where everything alive gets modified on a biological level by the alien organism and it interferes with any technology within.
Now obviously, no aliens here. But we have the Megamycete at the center of it all and Miranda controlling the whole area in which the village (more akin to a small town in my AU) and its surroundings are enclosed. This is how she controls exactly what comes in from outside and what works inside.
And therefore, Chris can't do jack shit. He can't even enter the area let alone blow anything up. Ok moving on.
As stated before, Miranda's offer to Mia still stands, even as she gives her a bitter "fuck you" as she leaves the village with Rose in her arms. However it takes her little to realize that no matter where they go, Rose is basically gonna become a lab rat under supervision 24/7 so she swallows her pride and comes back to Miranda, asking her to let them stay in the village where nobody from te outside can touch them. She obliges, letting her choose any place she'd like to live in and that's how Mia and Rose settle there. (Also the town is a lot more functional here).
Aaand idk maybe Rose and Eva grow up to be friends or something idk I think that'd be cute. They have a whole ass cultish "family" too so that'd make for some interesting shenanigans.
Also, realizing you may want to know more about the maidens: they do partake in anything ceremony related as much as the sisters, complete with matching outfits. By this point in time they are also married and fully part of the Dimitrescu family. Also had gone through the mutation but no spoilers on that. Just going to say that Miranda comes to see them as at the very least good assets to keep around and therefore somewhat important members of the cult.
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the-wereraven · 3 years
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Hello! Since you’re quite the fan of Pastry lore, and I am too, thought I’d share some info/personal takes you might not have heard before, or at least I was only recently informed of.
One, Pastry is a big sleepy head, and struggles to get up in the morning. Parts of her dialogue shows how she misses much of the morning due to sleeping in and being very drowsy. Maybe she’s just not much of a morning person, which I can relate to, or maybe there’s a more angsty reason for why she can’t seem to find the will to get up in the mornings.
Two, why does no one talk about Pastry’s reflection, this is like, BIG LORE BABY! She says to pastry, “My consecrated crossbow senses an enemy in you, sister! Your soul is ridden with doubt! Is this path you have chosen truly yours?!” This reveals a lot about Pastry. She’s doubted the order long before their lies were revealed to her, mainly donating herself, but is always pulled back in by the order as she says herself, “The Order’s teachings are engraved in my soul.” The way that Pastry’s crossbow works is that it judges if a cookie is innocent or a “fallen creature”, and will only harm those it finds unworthy. This shows that even in the eyes of the order, Pastry is not innocent, and she knows this. This also shows that’s she’s aware of the order’s manipulation, as she feels her choices aren’t her own, but yet she continuously follows them. Out of fear, maybe? Maybe out of instinct, or from their years of grooming her into the loyal mercenary she is. Like, WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT THIS, THIS IS DEEP!
Just thought I’d throw this at you, I thought you could do something with this if you haven’t heard of it yet. If anything, I find it cute trivia Pastry is a sleepy head and I need to share it as the gospel it is.
I shouldn't be answering this when I just woke up a few minutes ago BUUUT-
I actually talk about Pastry A LOT with a friend of mine, and some of the things we talked about are exactly these things! (except for Pastry doubting herself, I kept that more internal lol)
Pastry's factoid was changed to 'Pastry Cookie has a hard time getting out of bed in the morning.' recently, which to me makes it more interesting since it isn't "brushing her off" as a sleepyhead.
To me, one of the reasons she doesn't feel compelled to get up in the morning is because of the routine. Speaking from experience, sometimes knowing what you're gonna do for the whole day makes you lie in bed for a while and think stuff like 'God fucking damn it.' and you just wanna wait awhile before you get up, ya know?
Also, I feel like being manipulated while you're aware that you're being manipulated tends to make you... depressed, for the lack of a better word. To me, I feel like Pastry follows the Order despite doubting herself and her bosses because she doesn't know anything else. She most likely believes that every Cookie lives for a purpose, as one of her lines is "I shall fulfill my purpose..."
If her purpose isn't the serve the Order. Then what is her purpose? What would her existence on Earthbread be for? (Thank you, St. Pastry Order /s) To her, there's nothing else other than the Order, which is what she has known her whole life after being rebaked! Which again, could be a reason why she has trouble getting out of bed in the morning!
AND SPEAKING OF WHICH- One of her lines state how a piece of bread and some milk was more than enough for her. AND LIKE, WOMAN, IT IS NOT??? YOU'RE RUNNING AROUND KILLING FOR THE ORDER AND YOU STAY UP LATE AT NIGHT TO MAKE UP FOR MORNING PRAYER??? A PIECE OF BREAD AND SOME MILK IS NOT ENOUGH??? This could also be a factor to why she can't get out of bed easily. SHE DOESN'T HAVE THE ENERGY BECAUSE SHE BARELY EATS OR DRINKS.
Also I realized I haven't touched the subject of Pastry's reflection yet, but believe you me that I think about it a lot. In fact, I wanna use her reflection in several animations and stories I have planned for Pastry. Because like you said, THAT'S DEEP SHIT RIGHT THERE. Her reflection is her doubt, her fears. So much could be done with it. We could legit see some sort of redemption arc with Pastry and her reflection. And you can't tell me that she doesn't see her reflection in her dreams or in actual mirrors and windows after the incident at the Tower, where she finally saw that all her doubts of the Order are real.
Tldr; Pastry needs therapy and more story arcs
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wisteria-lodge · 3 years
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authoritarian badger primary + snake secondary
Sorry if this is the improper channels, I just created my first ever tumblr account to follow you haha I would love help with sorting, you’re quite astute and it would be such a service to me as I’ve struggled for years with it, despite (or perhaps because of) reading so many posts about it! I’m much better at speed-reading randos, than I am at categorizing myself.  
I was that classic gifted underachiever.
ugh, I hate the word “gifted.” I’m so pleased that it’s falling out of favor in education circles.
I felt bad for some of my teachers, because I knew they probably blamed themselves. To make them see I appreciated them, I would study their teaching methods, and then give them positive feedback. I was the kid who would sleep through English, then write a collection of stories about the teachers, infusing classical literature and mythological references, performed them in the cafeteria, and sold them for lots of money to the students.
You sound like you were probably bored. Look, don’t feel bad about your teachers. Some students are just Anakins. High ability, low emotional maturity. We know that all we can do is give you guys a safe space until you figure yourselves out.
I wrote about my incompetent Math Teacher, Mrs. Malatestinic, as the Malatesting-Sphinx, an awful creature that posed mathematical riddles she herself did not understand. She didn’t like that (I failed math by 1 percent that semester lol), but when the math department heard me reading, he gasped sharply, his face went bright red and he started shaking in a way that looked life stifled laughter.
… this is your second, like, vengeance narrative? (slept though english class > made $$$ selling writing) (wrote hit piece about teacher > department head secretly agrees with you.) And you haven’t said anything that has anything to do with the Sortinghat Chats System???
I have almost no practical skills of my own (I find it hard to even change my lightbulbs, so I sometimes pee in the dark)
You must have some very understanding roommates.
but I pride myself on my interpersonal pixie dust. I seem to cheer people up, and I like to think I have a keen eye for people. One of my favourite compliments was when a young woman told me I had an almost supernatural ability for making others feel seen.
Okay, so a very social secondary, I can work with that. Going with *not Badger* as a hypothesis, since you almost seem to get kind of a kick out of not being exactly useful.
I naturally bond groups around me wherever I go, and I notice without this sort of found family dynamic in my life (a little team/group/family) I get depressed. I have fused my entire being with my job and have become a sort of mascot/face of the business, and despite not actually being the highest ranked/most senior employee.
… and we have a Badger primary.
I wish I was gentler, but my love for my people is pesky and meddlesome and I worry some day people will tire of me. I get overly involved in people’s lives (even when they ask me not to get involved, I take that as code for “I wouldn’t want to bother you, but secretly I wish you would get involved”).
I’m everyone’s unofficial therapist. This big mouth gets me into trouble sometimes, especially when I attack the powers that be on behalf of the underdog (something I can never resist)
Oh ouch. Yeah, that is some exploded, Authoritarian Badger right there. You get involved in peoples lives when they tell you to stay out? You view yourself as a universal therapist and righteous defender of those who cannot defend themselves? You write like you’ve got all the answers, and everyone else in your life is scared, or helpless.
I once flooded a grouchy old lady’s apartment by accident (ADHD) and then when she called to scream at me, she ended up telling me her whole life story instead.
I know this is the Badger secondary in me, but did you like… help fix the apartment? Untreated water damage can lead to black mold.
And yet, I cannot keep a secret to save my life, people should not be telling me things! My mom and boss often warn me about burning bridges. I know this is true in theory, but sometimes I just get triggered.
Impulsivity is something that people with ADHD can struggle with, but I can’t link it to a specific secondary.
I was bullied and abused a lot as a child/teen, but I never believed I deserved it, only that I lacked power, so I had to dig deep and outwit my opponents. I find story arcs of clever but physically underpowered oddballs like Mulan and Tyrion very satisfying for that reason! I tend to be a bit of a con for the cause at times—I toy with people and can be a bit of a “storyteller”. My saintly double badger mom strongly disapproves of this tendency in me, and half teasing, half scolding calls me Harold Hill (The Music Man).
Snake secondary, for sure. 
I have an awful petty flaw of never forgetting a slight! When the people I love/invest in betray me, I am devastated, and that disillusionment can fester into hatred under extreme circumstances. Darker still, when people cross a certain line morally, they seem to forfeit their personhood in my eyes. Gloves are off, and since I’m kind of an empath I basically have all the destruct codes to people’s souls.
That is… the dehumanizing aspect of a Badger primary in full swing, which has been a through line this whole time. The math teacher was incompetent, so it was fine to mess with her. The old lady was grouchy, so flooding her apartment wasn’t a big deal.
Some examples of my dark fuckery (if tldr, skip to final paragraph 😊):
I will cut this out, actually. There are a *lot* of revenge narratives here, some of them get pretty dark, and in my opinion… these are situations where you either went too far or shouldn’t have gotten involved in the first place. I guess they re-affirm the ‘I know best’ of the Authoritarian Badger, and the improvisational problem solving skills of the Snake secondary.
Um yes, so sorry about how long this is, every time I went to edit it down, it got longer! I understand if you don’t have the time or inclination to read, let alone analyze all this! But at least it helped me a little to write it all out. Please know I love your posts, you’re brilliant! I will lose entire days  studying and obsessing over your posts. Thank you for everything!
You’re welcome. And don’t take any of this too badly. Badger primaries get Authoritarian streaks sometimes, it happens. And if you’re worried that “people will tire of you” - I will say, as someone who has known quite a few Authoritarian Badgers. I didn’t get tired of them, I got exhausted, felt condescended to, and it was an all around unpleasant experience. 
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leamy-world · 3 years
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Reaction to The Devil Judge (spoilers for ep. 11-12)
Hello everyone! I hope you’re doing well this week!
Here we go! Again i’m really sorry for the english & my personal interpretations which might go a little bit overboard (❁´ω`❁)
THIS GOT VERYYYYYYYYYY LONG PLEASE BEAR WITH ME!!!!
tldr: i am in shambles haha
Have a nice week and take care! ♥
- Huckleberryfinn’s new OST, The Nights, was released this saturday and it’s truly a gem! The guitar/bass’s place in BOTH OSTs they composed is awesome. The lyrics destroyed me haha (i’ll shortly talk about it below!). The soundtrack during these two episodes was awesome btw ;;
- Sun-Ah’s visit to the mansion felt nostalgic and shattering at the same time, she sees she doesn’t belong in this house but still indulges a little in this illusion, « wanting to fall for his trick even just for a little while ». Her expression made me feel for her for a little while too ;; 
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This shot above is funny because the bokeh effect (✨ the little sparkles ✨) is used in the background every time but this time it plays in front of Sun-Ah’s view: she sees in Yohan and his mansion a « shining » thing she desired for a long time. The bokeh here served also as a transition to the flashback right after.
Well, it could just be the streetlights’ reflections on the car and me reaching but there are so many symbolic visual shots in this show already i just couldn’t dismiss it in my brain haha
I liked Sun-Ah’s depiction of her choice to go against Yohan: she drops the necklace (symbolizing Yohan, this scene followed by Yohan’s cross-like scar) and not herself, like she did in the past for/because of Yohan when she was a maid + Yohan’s reflection disappears, Sun-Ah only focusing on herself: the ‘us’ she wanted for some time disappeared. And this event makes Sun-Ah’s rage on K more upsetting than it already is, but maybe i’m reaching haha
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This scene also shows Yohan and Sun-Ah want two different directions to their relationship: to use her and to have him reach the top by her side respectively. They both look at the mirror, but their focus is different and they’re set in different plans on the shots.
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In My Mister, (SPOILERS) the wife has a serious affair with her husband’s superior, but throughout the drama, they have divergent opinions on their affair’s developments: the wife wanted to leave her husband and settle with her lover, while the latter didn’t think any of it and, among other plot reasons, only wanted her because married women are the ‘safest choice (ending the relationship while she still loves him would be more troublesome) and always kept the affair secret’. 
This was particularly symbolized by their song preferences, but also by this shot in the beginning of the series: after the wife shared her hopes about their relationship (and her lover staying most of the time silent), they both look to the distance (their affair’s metaphorical future) but their eyes almost never look in the same direction.
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- « I did it because i need you (by my side?) », Sun-Ah and Gaon’s parallels:
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"[To Gaon on ep. 8] I wanted you to be by my side.”
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“[To Gaon on ep. 5] I don’t need you to understand, but you need to make a decision. Will you stand in my way … or stand on my side?”
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"[To Gaon] If i needed to, i would’ve done something even worse. Whether it was switching him or something else.”
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- When Elijah and Gaon play jenga, Yohan might have let the door to his bedroom open (even after leaving them the first time) to continue hearing them have fun in the living room. It parallels to the scene in ep. 5 where he watches them play in the garden with Kkomi through the little gap of his curtains: what piques his curiosity first is the playful conversation he hears from his bed even from the closed windows. The flashback explains it all and i’m glad Gaon insisted to have him play with them despite the front he tried to put on, Elijah’s and Yohan’s expressions in this scene ended me ;;
Look how quick he turned his attention to Gaon, as if he waited for something to happen, to get to play with them!! His eyes lit up in an instant i can’t with this —
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I loved how Yohan delayed his defeat to Elijah by asking Gaon questions about the game hahah
Elijah and Yohan’s relationship growth here reminds me of 2 parallels i didn’t catch the first time (but the desperation i felt when Gaon left because everything could grow cold again between Elijah and Yohan):
“That’s everything i think about”:
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Elijah getting in & out of the car (ep. 6-9):
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- And Gaon’s « Once everything is over, i’ll definitely … » — you’ll definitely what, please tell the audienceeeeeeee ;;;; this screams a death flag for Soohyun (or was it just foreshadowing their confrontation in ep. 12? idek anymore haha), but let’s hope it’s not!!
- After CKH’s suicide: we can’t expect people to make perfect choices every time they are challenged, and i think this story shows it well: Soohyun when she was with Elijah, and now Gaon carelessly touching the minister’s body for the files. As judges, they could have searched the body and the room using a fabric to hide their presence. But they’re both shocked: Yohan looks dumbfounded, standing and watching (even though he’s quicker to react when he sees Soohyun and he puts on a composure at the house saying it was ‘nothing’, he looked very sour when Sun-Ah called him to rejoice in her death) and Gaon panic-stricken. The fact he might have relived his parents’ suicide when he discovered the Minister’s body … And in the worst way possible (in a daze, searching her dead body for her files and realizing he didn’t give the body minimum respect) … oof
At least Yohan could have thought about it since the story shows how prepared he is in his plans, but this scene shows even him is at a loss at what to do. After all, the minister was the way he targeted to bring everyone linked to the foundation down. They were so close, i think he was too convinced her « self-pity » would mean her survival despite everything (« Do you have any other options? ») to see what was coming. After all, when they last met, he saw she was about to shoot him. 
Sun-Ah was the only one he thought was ‘unpredictable’. When Gaon talked to CKH, he let him speak and approved his speech, surely thinking everything went along his plans and the minister would surrender. And i think that’s also why he gives Gaon all this speech, to reassure himself and them, since they work now as a team. 
- Ep. 9 foreshadowing ep. 11 and 12 (Soohyun facing Yohan and Gaon). It’s interesting how the two shots from ep. 9 seem to put on the same plan the three characters, as if Yohan is literally standing between Soohyun and Gaon, as if he was the one protecting/separating him from Soohyun. This is very telling of the whole dynamic between those three.
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- When the minister said she didn’t want to clear her name regarding her son in the live but still does so anyway, this is pure preterition haha! It’s also why she reminds the public opinion the first case Yohan handled!
- Cha Kyung Hee’s demise (ep. 11-4 parallels):
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(+ a cinematographic reference to the 2000 movie Malèna, which was recently used in Hwasa’s MV for the song Maria)
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- The scene right after where Soohyun wipes Gaon’s involvement to the suicide was moving in regards to her character, we get to see how torn she is by this situation + when she faces off Yohan in the parking (and the ‘let go’ could also have referred to Gaon) … i felt bad for her!
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- About Soohyun & the professor: I find interesting the way the professor and Soohyun shelter Gaon’s existence was clearly shown with these two episodes and through their rage. At the beginning of the drama, their hold on his life’s values and choices was almost impalpable but not anymore, now that they’re facing Yohan’s threat.
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In these shots, Soohyun looks like she is covering Gaon’s ear, turning him away and protecting him from outside (from the pain, Yohan, the rest of the world).
And on professor Min’s part, it’s almost infantilizing, de-responsibilizing Gaon to say the least (« What are you making Gaon do? That child has been through so much. He suffered and struggled through the worst to get there. »), given he’s the one who planted him on the court’s bench to find what’s happening behind the scene: he could have asked Gaon for explanations (as Yohan underlined, « Did you hear it from Gaon himself? ») but he just snaps at him. He should have foreseen that he could’ve taken Yohan’s side. 
For his defense, his family just got targeted but still, it’s the first time Gaon came back since then!
(By the way, that whole conversation with professor Min confirmed to Yohan Gaon didn’t admit to their plan to Soohyun nor the professor)
As for Soohyun, her deep concern for Gaon makes her antagonize Yohan and, in her POV, it’s pretty understandable: her friend got locked up in this judge’s house for days with no phone or permission to go out + said judge seems to not let her niece go out with her new friends, got violent against Gaon + he seems to be plotting something behind the trials he biased + Gaon’s description of the man in the first episodes wasn’t that nice but DESPITE IT ALL her friend still seems to be empathizing with him? 
She’s maybe thinking he got manipulated by Yohan given the evil picture he depicted her & must feel helpless in front of Gaon’s sudden change of heart. I think that’s what she wanted to ask him when she got cut by the professor’s arrival. The lack of honest conversation between them is what’s making it worse: on one hand, Gaon goes to her every time he feels sad or confused to get comfort & advice without telling what truly is going on (or eventually telling her when she insists), on the other hand, Soohyun always tells him to give up his investigation on Yohan and never asks him his point of view to understand the situation. 
And she discovered he lied about him not being involved with this man in the worst way possible, finding him by CKH’s body with Yohan. He was her reason to dedicate her life to protect people under the law (he does not owe her anything in no way, but it was her wish), and she ended up dirtying her hands for him. Her gut reaction to her moral principles being violated by both Gaon and her right now is stronger than wanting to hear the truth from Gaon. She continues to investigate Yohan on her own, to protect him. It was interesting to see this sententious side when she confronted Gaon after all this! The only time Soohyun saw him cry and didn’t support him, it hits hard ;;
But i believe the whole crisis that’s happening by the end of ep. 12 will make them team up again at least for a while. And on that note, will she meet Sun-Ah? It would be interesting!
I’m glad the professor raised as a concern on the live trials the due process & fair trial, which are essential for the rule of law to prosper.   
In fact, the live trials slowly become a place of majoritarianism/ochlocracy/mob rule as the cases progress (the two best examples being the actor and Juk Chang cases), the protests against professor Min are another example. Even if Yohan has the last word on the defendant’s sentence, this issue is still there. 
Maybe the viewers’ voice will turn against Yohan one day?
- The minister … Even though the story showed us how cruel her family could be, i can’t help but feel sympathy for her son with her suicide. And that is accentuated by the fact her family’s grief is not even showed, covered by the mediatic chaos. She could have fled the country as her son suggested, but she thought she was « nothing » without her accomplishments and her path to glory. As the former president of the foundation killed by Sun-Ah’s hands, she died in her office as the Minister of Justice, while her image wasn’t torn to shreds yet. The photograph she held showed her at the center and, ironically, it’s the only figure from the photo who is clear-cut, her husband and her son are out of focus (or it could just be the episode’s image quality misleading me haha). Even though she loved them (well, at least in her manner, which was kind of narcissistic tbh), she cared too much for her success and her death was her act of self-pity.   
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- This isn’t the first time Gaon was warned about Yohan and i find it interesting it’s the people closest to him that say that, especially K despite (or precisely because?) his loyalty to him. Elijah also warned him before.
- The whole argument … It’s a progression of ep. 5 & 8 scenes (’will you stand in my way or stand on my side?’ & ‘i wanted you by my side and if i needed to, i would’ve done something worse’). You can tell how desperate Yohan was when he reached out to Gaon. His gaze faltered, showing his hesitation to do it, but as the realization he was going to lose him dawned on him, this touch became a necessity in front of the exigency, making up for everything he couldn’t say out loud. It was a sad & hurtful mess. Yohan truly looked short on ‘arguments’ after Gaon’s question (‘what kind of monster am i turning into?’), he seemed to not even know what to say to make him stay, making him pause before talking about Soohyun. 
The way his eyes lit up, almost smiling, full of hope, when he finished laying his ultimatum and how he regained a composed expression, thinking Gaon would take his side maybe?
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I didn’t catch it on the first time, but Gaon’s sadness to end/put a hold on their collaboration (thus their whole relationship, stepping out of his life) transpired through him weakly rejecting Yohan’s hand with his own hand sliding down the latter's arm, as if he was unwilling to let this life with the Kangs go. You can see it’s hard on him to leave with the tears in his eyes. 
I think Gaon’s response outran his thoughts, as a quick riposte, it was to make Yohan stop this. The way things went (well, it escalated QUICKLY), hurting him like that was the only effective way, and he knows it will hurt him: before saying Soohyun is his world, he tears up because of that (in addition to everything Yohan said and it was A LOT), and didn’t even have the strength/will to get angry like all the previous times: 
the fact Yohan laid this very ultimatum and wanted to persuade/manipulate him into thinking this was the only choice. Even if he knew Yohan would be capable of doing this since ep. 7-8 (”To achieve his goal, would he not use another man’s pain? If the devil really did exist among us.”), he got a confirmation and it still hurts.
+ the fact he knows he has to hurt him with something as much as hurtful before he takes it too far.
+ the fact he knows he can’t live in this house any longer because of this argument when he made all these memories with them.
And (let’s hope for it) if Gaon wants to show Yohan there’s another way out of this ultimatum, Gaon’s « Soohyun is my world » might be a counter ultimatum (‘to stay by your side, you’ll have to deal with my world because there must be another way, there is no question, or else you’ll have to deal on your own’). He’s still not said anything to Soohyun (well, he didn’t have the opportunity to anyway but even during their confrontation, when she asked for details, he said nothing) nor the professor, so maybe that’s it?
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- « Of course it doesn’t matter to me, but … » ELIJAH NOOOOOOOO ;;;;;;;;; After Yohan, Elijah tries in her way to hold Gaon back — and she makes a valid point tbh (look at what happened by the end of the episode!), but seeing her putting all her efforts and realizing it’s failing is heartbreaking … Given the preview for ep. 13, please let me hope this conversation won’t be their last one!! 
- Utter devastation when the next scenes show how Gaon still shines even in his absence: the « You never apologize » + the scene with the nanny & Gaon’s last prepared meal + Gaon’s portrait by Elijah … ugh 
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- Elijah’s painting game is too strong, can’t relate haha! I wish they could show the BTS for this painting, respect for the artist behind!!
- On metaphorical images, Gaon took care of the Kangs like he tended to his plants at home. On a regular basis, he provided them attention and care, making them lively as his plants got lush. On ep. 8, we got a shot of Elijah smiling at Gaon’s plants, sort of a confirmation she loved how their house became warmer since Gaon’s stay, which led her to open up to his uncle.
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- Now they’re only four! It looks like the mafia game haha, i look forward (am i though?) to the day Sun-Ah sits by herself haha 
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AND THIS MAN
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This is true pig behavior, especially considering Sun-Ah’s past … I felt her reaction when he said all this bs to demean her, she had all her struggles with men thrown back to her face, soiled by these « jokes ». 
- The monsters, the abyss and Nietzsche:
« He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee. », Nietzsche
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- « I don’t care if humanity falls, as long as i have you two ». It was what he wouldn’t say to Gaon nor Elijah, and yet they’re his world! This sequence parallels Gaon’s inner wish when he leaves the Kang’s house + the flashbacks of his fond memories with the Kangs. Will Yohan give his vigilante ideals up for them? Will Gaon pursue this dream but in his own way that won’t threaten their « worlds »?
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(Now we know what his whole world meant)
- The light from the chandelier (ie. their newfound family) is out of Yohan’s (metaphorical) reach, shown by its blurred silhouette, as if it’s gone from the room which regained its initial colder tones. But it’s not: once it’s made its way in the room, it remains and lingers, as a keepsake of the lost warmth. His fond memories with Gaon and Elijah flashed back through the window’s light.
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On a similar note, Gaon’s room, albeit having warmer tones than the Kang’s ones since the beginning, looks dark too. The contrast with earlier episodes is clear. This reminds me of My Mister’s (SPOILERS) full shots of Lee Ji An’s room, getting warmer as she gets to know Park Dong Hoon, and losing all its fond colors when she has to leave for his sake. As if the room and inanimate objects were given life by their owner, imbuing them with their feelings. It becomes an outer expression of their feelings. Sorry for the rambling but i just love when they do that in fiction, and i think it sometimes leaves more impact to the viewers if emotions are conveyed through various angles (eg. through another character’s point of view, sounds, looks, the use of light i mentioned below, etc) ! 
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- I wonder … since the flashbacks are giving us Gaon’s conscious point of view on this separation, was he awake when Yohan came back from his (forced) encounter with Sun-Ah? It’s a really minor point but it could be an interesting detail since this show always shows us there are some sides or spots to the stories we didn’t have yet! 
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The jenga scene also flashed back but this time we see Gaon’s POV seeing Yohan’s smile & we got Gaon’s angle when Yohan had a nightmare in ep. 5: while from Yohan’s POV, Gaon’s irruption truly felt like an invasion of his intimacy (the quick succession of shots expressing his panic and defensive reaction), from Gaon’s POV only one angle showed the scene, the tension was conveyed only when Yohan slapped his hand away. 
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We also got Yohan’s POV when he admitted to Gaon he needed him by his side (and a closer look at Gaon’s troubled expression)!  
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- Ep. 5 and 11-12 parallels: 
Yohan’s tentative look at Gaon and Elijah playing outside, as if he wanted to join them like in ep. 11, the curtains mainly closed and only pushed by one of his hands. It let the daylight in his dark room through this sneak peek. 
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But in ep. 12, the curtains are drawn, Yohan taking the (moon)light fully in. And this time, he doesn’t reach out to his late brother in the flames, but to the moonlight. He gets up, as in a trance, from his nightmare like the last time, but he goes to his window instead. And it reminds me of both Huckleberry Finn’s OST’s (in Tempest, « you said i’ll live in the sun / moonlight » and in The Nights, « my / your night shines on you / me »), the suffer is here. And see how the light reveals his tear? I nearly missed it!
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The fact he could not find sleep anymore after this night + he slept on his sofa where the moonlight could be seen + has kept his phone right next to him (in case Gaon called him or to know if something happened to him) ➾ 🌝 pure devastation 🌝
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- I really love the show’s use of light/dark tones to reveal and contrast its characters’ emotions! What you can’t see in the light gets revealed in the dark, and vice-versa. The OST The Nights touches on this subject as well. 
And it ties up very well to the plot so far: everyone has his or her own motivations and intentions, background, and makes choices, but depending on the perspective, their story changes and sparks off different reactions. Everybody’s story is interconnected. 
As @skylessnights pointed out, one of the books found during the series (when Yohan revealed his past to Gaon if i’m correct), The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy, depicts this angle well in its plot and epigraph: « Never again shall a single story be told as though it were the only one. » - John Berger. 
When Gaon and Yohan go back to the mansion after CKH’s death, the route lights flash Gaon’s hands red, caught (literally) red-handed by Soohyun. He begins to recollect his recent memories of what just happened, and panics, short-winded, until Yohan touched his arm. He’s startled but calmed himself down, and we don’t hear him out of breath anymore. It’s interesting how the light’s focus was on Gaon’s hands, the core of his panic, until Yohan’s arm came into the light, as if our and Gaon’s attention went back to Yohan’s touch, his anchor in his panic, and begins to think clear-headed of what they had done. (btw, getting Phoenix Wright desperate vibes from Gaon’s pose haha)
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Gaon’s emotions show when his phone lights up, trying to reach Soohyun again. 
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When Yohan’s inner wish brings him back to their happy times, the end of the flashback shows a shot of his eyes dazzled by the light of these memories and back to the present, the light now gone out from his eyes.
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Yohan’s reaction to Gaon’s cry in the prison yard in ep. 7: what i loved to see was how his restraint told more about the emotions he held back. The light shifting on his face revealed his jaw clenching & frowned brows, his glassy eyes and him averting his gaze, which he often does when he’s in front of sensitive topics and it’s too much.
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+ other instances he looked away:
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When Jinjoo decides to accept the foundation’s offer, she steps into the dark side of the room where the two chairmen are. Up till now, she stood where the light could reach her, away from them. It symbolically seals her involvement with the foundation, and by the end of ep. 12, it is confirmed by her message on behalf of the foundation (about the plague) displayed on the screens. By the way, i love the fact so much things unfold while we focus on Yohan and Gaon’s story!
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On the subject of ‘subjective’ truths, examples, besides the flashback with the priest about Yohan in ep. 11, could be the truth behind the cancellation of the donation by Yohan or Sun-Ah’s fall from the window when she was a maid. We got Sun-Ah, Elijah, and then later Yohan’s point of view.
- I think Gaon tried to call Soohyun and not Yohan (though the subs say otherwise) because the contact above has the ‘thug’ nickname with the fist emoji! It made more sense, Yohan would’ve answered right away! But i believe he will have regrets/worries in the next episodes (Yohan and Elijah seem to be getting in real danger so maybe he’ll come back to save them).
- Metatextuality in The Devil Judge — Beauty and the Beast (written by Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont & Disney’s 1991 animation movie)
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I’ve always loved transtextual relationships between fictions, my french teacher in middle school gave us this passion haha! Ever since i read this interview translated by @deviljudge​, it’s true i’m getting more and more Beauty and the Beast vibes, especially from ep. 12’s argument (and the whole premise Belle got locked up in the mansion in the beginning)! The original fairy tale and Disney’s adaptation are both relevant, some plot points differ from one another (Belle’s sisters vs Gaston, the mansion personnel turned into living paraphernalia) even though the core of the fairy tale is left untouched but for the sake of this bit, i’ll use the 1991 movie because its inevitably longer format delves more into the fairy tale moral lesson.
(Cheesy time incoming haha) The beast lets Belle go see her father he knew she deeply cared about, and let her go because he realized he loved her. He thought she would never come back, but despite it all, she came back and saved him from Gaston. Belle (Gaon) broke the spell that was casted on the mansion (the Kangs and their loneliness, especially when Yohan said he’s tired of this house). Yohan fails at not hurting the people he cares about but learns step by step, by Gaon and Elijah's side, how to live again and reconnect with his ‘human’ side.
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Even the secretary looks like the modern version of the whole cast in the Beast’s mansion (Cogsworth, Lumière, …) haha
The movie intro is self-explanatory: 
« Although he had everything his heart desired, the prince was spoiled, selfish and unkind. But then, one winter’s night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Repulsed by her haggard appearance, the prince sneered at the gift and turned the old woman away. But she warned him not to be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within. And when he dismissed her again, the old woman’s ugliness melted away to reveal a beautiful enchantress. The prince tried to apologize, but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love in his heart. And as punishment, she transformed him into a hideous beast and placed a powerful spell on the castle and all who lived there. Ashamed of his monstrous form, the Beast concealed himself inside his castle with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his 21st year. If he could learn to love another, and earn her love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years passed, he fell into despair and lost all hope, for who could ever learn to love a beast? »
Belle’s characterization in the movie is also interesting:
« With a dreamy, far-off look and her nose stuck in her book what a puzzle to the rest of us is Belle ». 
« There must be more than this provincial life (…) I want adventure in the great wide somewhere — I want it more than i can tell — And for once it might be grand to have someone understand — I want so much more than they’ve got planned » 
& when Belle got locked up in the mansion: « I’ve lost my father, my dreams, everything. » (similar to “Soohyun is my world”).
Gaon, since his parents’ death, lived his life believing in the illusion of justice the system gave him, along with Soohyun and professor Min, his two pillars who kept him steady this whole time. Once he was showed it was an illusion, he wanted to fight this world.
Before the movie’s climax, this conversation reminded me of ep. 12’s argument:
« - Belle? Are you happy here with me?
- Yes. [looks to the distance]
- What is it?
- If only i could see my father again just for a moment. I miss him so much.
- There is a way. This mirror will show you anything. Anything you wish to see.
- I’d like to see my father, please. [The mirror projects the image of his father in danger and sick] Papa. Oh no. He’s sick. He may be dying and he’s all alone.
- [Glances at the wilting rose] Then you must go to him. 
- What did you say?
- I release you. You’re no longer my prisoner.
- You mean i’m free?
- Yes.
- Oh, thank you. Hold on Papa, i’m on my way.
- Take [the mirror] with you, so you’ll always have a way to look back and remember me.
- Thank you for understanding how much he needs me.
(…)
- I let her go. 
- [Cogsworth] Yes, splen … You what? How could you do that?
- I had to.
- Yes but … Why?
- Because i love her. »
Yohan did nothing to hold Gaon back even if he needs him (as shown when he clutches his hands together after he left) because he was forced by Gaon to understand how precious Soohyun is to him, this point was already made multiple times in the series (when Gaon thought he was the one who pushed Soohyun in the stairs and already threatened him about it, when Gaon told him he couldn’t live as a conman in front of Soohyun and his parents). Since his ‘to have you by my side, i would have done worse if it was necessary’ + ‘this is a life or death situation, sacrifices are also necessary’, he seemed to think Soohyun was expendable in his own world, which he shared with Gaon. With this argument, his world looks definitely incompatible with the one Gaon described (« Soohyun is my world »), and even though they already went this far in their plan, he lets him go and respects his choice. Will it make him change for the better or for the worse? Will the whole ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ apply to him?
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Other moments i found interesting to note:
« Come into the light »:
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When Belle goes to save the Beast from the village:
« - Please, i know he looks vicious, but he’s really kind and gentle. He’s my friend. - - [Gaston] If i didn’t know better, I’d think you had feelings for this monster. - - He’s no monster, Gaston. You are! - - If you’re not with us, you’re against us. » (pretty similar to the professor’s rage in the hospital)
When Belle’s father goes to save her: « I don’t care what it takes. I’ll find that castle and somehow, i … I’ll get her out of there. » (when Soohyun talks about and to Yohan)
The Beast possessive behavior in the beginning of the story: « [To her father] She’s no longer your concern, take him to the village. » (similar to Yohan’s behavior towards Soohyun) & « [To Belle] The castle is your home now » (and towards Gaon)
A monster:
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When the Beast observes Belle playing from afar:
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- And i saw some Jane Eyre vibes (SPOILERS) from the whole fire haha + Wuthering Heights on Sun-Ah’s & Yohan’s mixed parts!
- And well … Sun-Ah’s character loosely reminds me of Simone in Nier Automata (which in itself is a reference to Simone de Beauvoir’s life and works), with the whole « I must become more beautiful / But he still won’t look my way », to whoever knows this game! 
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- These thigh boots holy hell Sun-Ah!!!! i loved this outfit!
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- As soon as he said he didn’t feel anything from his revenge, K got the biggest death flag in this episode, i can’t believe they did this to the poor boy … When i asked for more scenes THIS isn’t what i meant aaaaaaaaaa
- A very random and weird note: Yohan’s almost silent and held back pain by the end of the ep. 12 fits his character so far, as well as his ‘calm’ tears. Given his past, it’s as if he’s always kept his pain bottled up and quietly bears it all and almost never got the space to properly let it all out (he had his brother, but with their father, i think they didn’t have this ‘chance’).
- My sick mind thought Sun-Ah was going to bring Gaon to the scene just in time for him to witness Yohan getting shot, but i guess it will be when she will get in the Kang’s mansion again according to the preview (since she asked Juk Chang for a « favor », i think they’ll knock Gaon out  after beating him up for his own fun to leave him to Sun-Ah). Sun-Ah looked surprised when Jae-Hee shot him, so i guess only hurting K was part of the plan.
- The ‘I know i’m fucked’ look hahaha
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+ the softer version:
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- I now have BIG trust issues since these last episodes’ previews, and the cliffhangers kill me haha 
- On another note, i find it amazing how Ji Sung and Kim Min Jung keep that upsetting atmosphere whenever there’s a scene between them that involves them and skinship, but it still conveys Sun-Ah’s complex feelings for Yohan and Yohan’s interest in her! The soundtrack really does a good job to convey that mood as well!
- In conclusion: How Dramatic do you want these two episodes to be? The devil judge: Yes
24 notes · View notes
vidalinav · 3 years
Note
Going to preface this by saying that I am casual Nesta observer. I don’t particularly like her and without cassian she would be intolerable to me. But I truly am curious as to why the fandom and you, as part of it, fetishized her trauma to such a degree that she seemingly can do no wrong? Can we all agree that in ACOTAR she was horrible, vicious, nasty, and I don’t care about how you feel that your daddy lost all the money, but she didn’t lift a finger to help AND called Feyre awful things? When Feyre was taken, it’s not like she scrambled to find money to go after her. She waited until Tamlin came through, hired Someone and then kinda gave up. Then, at first dinner— horrible to Rhysand and Cassian? Why? She is living very comfortably, enjoying Tamlin’s money, and still behaves like an asshole to everyone. In the war, what is it that she did that her trauma is so magnificent and no one else’s comes close? All 3 sisters lost their father. Elain lost her entire ‘planned’ life, her fiancé and was catatonic because of her visions. Nesta sat with her? In a veritable palace? Reading books. Boohoo, what a heroic deed, to sit with a sick sister. Feyre, throughout the story, was tortured, abused, killed, and lost her mate. When Elain was taken by Hyben Nesta didn’t even volunteer to go after her. But Elain, the much maligned Elain, went and killed the king, with Nesta on her mind and her lips, and saved her and Cassian. I really am genuinely not understanding what is it that’s so special about Nesta’s ‘special journey’? Compared to everyone else’s. Nesta had a dude who was pining for her and was willing to do anything for her at any time and she kept shutting him down. Elain and Feyre were willing to help. Amren. She wasn’t obligated to like Rhys, but he never mistreated her, or shunned her. It feels like there is no critical thinking from the fandom when it comes to her.
Look every time I see “preface this” I already know the exact opinion that person is going to have. 
So let me preface this by saying that it is not my job to convince you about anything. Read the book, and try to look in the perspective of those people “fetishizing her trauma.” Lol.
If you want to know my opinions about it you can scroll through all of the posts I have ever made citing my sources or paraphrasing examples, but that’s the only thing I’m going to do. I have said a thousand and one times, people in this fandom have said a thousand and one times, that people unequally criticize Nesta over other characters, unequally favor a lot of characters over other characters that have everything to do with bias in both the narrative, the author it seems, and the individual themselves reading the book. I have made posts about how this is shown both narratively and through the structure of the writing. But hypocrisy of readers is insane to me. Because readers and posters on tumblr don’t tend to realize that they can criticize work, they can criticize characters, authors, themes and structures, they can hate characters, they can love characters, and they can do all of this at the same time. 
You don’t have to read my posts. You can very much dismiss it as fodder, as “wow look at all these crazy people who can’t read the book correctly.” But know that I am going to say the EXACT same thing about you and your inherent biases. Because I HATE, absolutely hate, that people can’t seem to understand this. This is EXACTLY what I criticize. 
I can understand why Elain is loved, I can also understand why she’s not, because there’s evidence for both believe it or not. I can understand why Feyre is fantastic, I can also understand why she’s not all the time as it is shown in the text. I can understand why Rhysand is the biggest hypocrite of them all and def not a feminist, but I can also understand where he may having a hard time and he’s a flawed individual as the rest. They all should be horrible. They should all be great, because**whispers** they’re suppose to be complex and flawed. It’s the imbalance of all of this that I will criticize a lot and have done, especially the writing of it. Because after a certain point, it all boils down to how well it’s written.  
But I can do all of this, make all of these claims, by citing my sources and picking things out in the book, as you tend to do when you critique things. But if you cannot understand why people would love Nesta and protect her, even if you do not like her, then I don’t know what to tell you. You have five books to convince you. Read and connect and disconnect ideas and switch perspectives, beware of what you bring to the book and how you read the book. Read the book and not just what happens and what is said, but including context, setting, plot, characterization, POVs, switches in POVs, shifts in any of these, inherent author bias, discrepancies in any of these, inherent reader bias, the goal or outcomes favored in the text. All of this will do the convincing for me, but you the reader need to see this. I can argue with you until I’m blue in the face, but if you don’t want to understand than you will not understand and I’m DEFINETLY not going to be the one who wastes a breath. Because I have seen enough posts where people do this to just to get their opinion stated and out into the world. You don’t want to be convinced. You have convinced yourself that the only perspective that exists is your own. I don’t hate Elain, but I don’t love her, and I will critique her because she has things to be critiqued about as well as any other character. It’s of my own volition and it’s my own blog.
Essentially the lack of empathy for a character is also the lack of empathy shown in this fandom and the hypocrisy of these characters is also bleeding through the narrative of some ships and the objective of favoritism. 
TLDR: When Nesta gets treated like the other characters, where her feelings are appropriately received (i.e VALIDATED), I will stop making posts about how her narrative is and has not been validated. But until that day read my posts. I will not be catering to individual persuasion. 
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dsmp-shitposts · 3 years
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OKAY I'm in an analysis mood so!!
Here's why "Savior" by Rise Against is such a good song about c!wilbur and c!Tommy's relationship in the dream smp!
Firstly tho I just want to give an honorable mention to the first lines of the song: "it kills me not to know this / but I've all but just forgotten / what the color of her eyes were / or the scars and how she got them." it's such a good c!bee duo line and I might have to analyze it in another post lol
(there's kinda a tldr at the bottom if you don't want to read the specific lyric analysis and just was the overall analysis!)
The lyrics I want to analyze (these are more about characterization) are: "as the telling signs of age rain down / a single tear is dropping / through the valleys of an aging face / that this world has forgotten." this is about wilburs resurrection. the first lyrics, "as the telling signs of age rain down" are about how much more different Wilbur looks to Tommy after he was resurrected. wilbur was in limbo for what he perceived to be 13 years, and he shows it physically. he has the white streak of hair that signifies his revival, and I know there's a popular headcanon that wilbur came back "wrong." "A single tear is dropping" is referring to Tommy's reaction to the revival. we know he was in disbelief and even angry at wilbur being back, but intense emotions also can bring on tears. it's a very natural response from your body. The third line is pretty much the same as the first, but "that this world has forgotten" is about wilburs impact on the history of the smp. obviously he's been a very big player in many major plot points, but since his death he has mainly faded to the background in most characters minds, especially after ghostbur's library with all the records from lmanberg got destroyed. as the smp progressed, wilbur got talked about less. focus shifted from him to dream who really emerged as the villain in the story after wilburs death. we can see the impact of this after wilburs revival. everyone on the smp had gotten used to living without him for so long, growing past the people they were when Wilbur was alive. and now when Wilbur gets revived, he expected fanfare and everyone welcoming him back, but in reality people's memory of him faded.
okay now that we have the preface lyrics, we can go into the ones that are more about tommy and Wilbur as a duo. the first ones before the chorus are "but seldom do these words ring true / when I'm constantly failing you / walls that we just can't break through / until we disappear." I'm gonna analyze this with the first two lines and the last two. the first two lines are from Tommy's perspective about him trying to constantly please wilbur. we see this with him gathering lots of stone for him and following Wilbur to stand against Las nevadas and quackity. but even with all of this, Tommy still feels like he's "constantly failing" wilbur and that he needs to do more in order to stay in high regard in Wilbur's mind. we could even look at these same lyrics from wilbur's perspective! wilbur might have felt like he's failed Tommy for not being there for him for the time he was in limbo. I know Wilbur doesn't know about what dream did to Tommy in the exile arc, but I'm betting that if/when wilbur finds out about that, he will feel horrible for not being there himself to stop dream because wilbur cares about Tommy. (this could even lead to him resenting ghostbur more because ghostbur was there but wasn't able to do anything). now with the second half of these lyrics, the "walls that we just can't break through" is referring to the emotional vulnerability, or lack thereof, between the two. I'd argue that wilbur is more emotionally vulnerable to Tommy than Tommy is to wilbur. now, there is a severe lack of communication between the two, but wilbur drops "trauma bombs" where he'll unload something all at once and suddenly. he doesn't do much internal reflection of his feelings, instead wanting to share with others, Tommy in this case, to get validation. with sharing, he wants people to agree that he's a bad person but at the same time wants them to refute those ideas so he feels like he's healing without actually doing anything. now Tommy does more introspection about his feelings (cc! Tommy monologuing) and doesn't feel as big a need as wilbur to share his feelings and trauma. and besides, Wilbur dominates the conversation most of the time anyways so Tommy wouldn't likely be able to carry a constructive conversation about his own feelings without getting talked over by wilbur.
now we're moving onto the chorus! it goes: "that's when she said / 'I don't hate you / I just want to save you / while there's still something left to save' / that's when I told her 'i love you / but I'm not the answer / for the questions that you still have.'" I see this as a conversation between Wilbur and Tommy; Tommy saying the "I don't hate you" section and Wilbur saying the "I love you" section. it's important for Tommy to make it clear to wilbur, and himself, that he doesn't hate Wilbur despite his past betrayal of lmanberg. wilbur thinks everyone hates him, so Tommy consistently sticking by his side is a reminder to Wilbur that he isn't alone. Tommy staying by wilburs side is also how he's ensuring that wilbur doesn't spiral again ("I just want to save you"). he knows that wilbur still isn't in the best mental place, not having the right environment to heal in limbo, so it's more crucial in his mind to be wilbur's crutch right now because it'd be very easy for wilbur to spiral again ("while there's still something left to save"). wilbur, with his part of the lyrics, wants to ensure that Tommy knows he still cares about him despite being gone for a long time. now for the last part of wilburs lyrics, I would love for it to mean that "wilbur understands that he can't be a good mentor to Tommy anymore because of everything that happened. he wants Tommy to realize that he does care for him but their relationship shouldn't function with Wilbur as a mentor anymore," but that wouldn't be accurate to their canon relationship. wilbur still wants to be Tommy's mentor because that's how their relationship has always functioned. my hope is that in wilbur's healing process that he realizes he doesn't have to be a mentor to Tommy, they can just exist as friends. and I would love for Tommy to realize that it's not his job to save Wilbur! while having friends you can talk about your emotions with is good, he shouldn't have to push his own feelings aside to prioritize wilbur's. wilbur also needs to learn that self reflection is a part of healing
the final specific lyrics I want to analyze are: "one thousand miles away / there's nothing left to say / but so much left that I don't know / we never had a choice / this world is too much noise / it takes me under once again." the first three lines, in my opinion, all relate to the fact that Tommy had gone through so much while wilbur was dead, such has dream's manipulation. the last three lines of this section, which are honestly my favorites, are relating to both of their revivals. even though wilbur and Tommy have developed so differently since the lmanberg and pogtopia eras, they have this one thing in common. Tommy didn't have a choice in his death or resurrection. both were committed by dream and have contributed to the massive amount of trauma and PTSD that Tommy has. wilburs death was practically by his own hand as it was an assisted suicide, but his resurrection wasn't his choice, again done by dream murdering ghostbur. that line could also refer to wilbur not feeling like he had a choice in living anymore, feeling like death was the only option for him at the end of his spiral. the last two lines refer to the mental problems that both Wilbur and Tommy are still facing. we talked about wilburs a bit with his need for validation and him villainizing himself in his mind. Tommy still struggles with suicidal ideation, seen most recently with his comments while on the balcony in Las nevadas. he also struggles with his triggers from the final control room and the prison that we see him try and speedrun exposure therapy for. what I'm trying to get at with this is that wilbur and Tommy have developed so differently while away from each other but they have their resurrections in common.
OKAY CONCLUSION TIME!! (also kindof a tldr)
while Tommy and wilbur have been apart from each other for a while and developed in different ways, their relationship after both of them have been revived is centered around both of their relationships to healing from their trauma. Tommy feels like he's the one who has to "save" wilbur and keep him from spiraling again, letting his own feelings be pushed aside to prioritize wilbur's. wilbur lets himself be the saved to Tommy's savior. he consistently seeks out validation for his own feelings instead of taking the time to sort out how he really feels about the things that have happened to him.
if you read this far then oh wow thank you!! I hope this made sense and I'd love to hear what you think of the comparisons to this song!
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