#THEYRE STILL FUCKING HERE GO AWAY!!!! LEAVE MY CAT ALONE!!!!!!!!!!
Text
VENT: TRIGGER-WARNING
I’m not jealous, my Borderline is.
Im not that jealous. I’m not scared of others taking my partner or else. I’m scared he fall in love with someone else.
Im jealous of him being where we wanted to be. Where we went two weeks ago. I need to work to make money to survive feed my cats pay my bills pay the animal doc. To buy groceries. I can’t go there right now. We got a lot of fun and I’m happy he can relax there but I’m jealous Caus at this moment there are friends I also wanted to meet there. Now he got like two friends (yes one annoys him but still) there. And new ones we made there. He can relaxe and life his life there and I can’t.
I also want that kind of fun I also wanna relaxe and Do not need to worrie about anything here. Just to escape reality for one moment again.
I need to do everything in my apartmant alone. Fix my lights set up my pc and my washing Maschine. I need to fix my cables and my electric. I need to sell the kittens I got I need to make my household and go to work for like 8-9 hours a day. I don’t have really ly much free time.
The psychiatrist I once got a appointment at told me I should not be working. I should be in a close mental hospital. I should take a break Caus my mental health and stability is as fragile as anything can be.
I haven’t had thoughts about suicide in a long while but in the last three days I was thinking about it a lot again. So much that I want to stop existing again so bad.
I don’t see a point in living anymore. We are suposed to work all our life’s to pay some bills just to exist at the edge of being homeless just to keep going no matter how broken we are. Just to have like a month of vacation in one fucking year. Days for days we are working non stop. This isn’t fun this isn’t life!
This isn’t supposed to be life. Why do we keep going like this? The world is already burning but we still try to ignor it!
I’m so done with my life. I’m so so tired I just wanna rest I wish the thinking would stop I wish my breathing would stop I wish to simply stop existing but I some how can’t. The little friends I made are at this point to or to good.
Even he try’s to focus on positive thinks and try to help me thinking about them to but I don’t see anything positive. Nearly everything I planed this year is not possible to do Caus of work.
I just wanna escape. I wanna go back where I feel like a human where I feel free and happy.
Sylt was the first time after two years wegre I truly felt happy and appreciated. Whee I could be myself and have people around me with the same energy. Where I was seen as the man I am
But it feels like Nobody is listing to me. Yes I wanna dye. So badly I wanna just stop but Nobody let me. Nobody just thinks about telling me they understand my thoughts.
I try my best to get healthy. I take my meds I make me a routine and shit but it still DOSNT work. Yes it takes time but I don’t have this time.
My cats make me crazy that I’m scared that I get so angry at them that I break theyr necks. I’m daylie crying Caus of them. I’m constantly angry Caus of everything I’m done.
I’m at a point where I don’t wanna feel anything anymore. I’m at a point where I want to take so many drugs that I just stop feeling.
I rather be homeless than exist like this. Some times I play with the thought to leave everything behind me without telling anyone. And I nearly did it. I can’t open up at the moment and I know nobody can see it but why. It’s so clear how broken I am.
So yes. Im jealous. Even life fucks all of us I would kill to not be here, to not be me, I just wanna escape from everything and run away and yes maybe it’s stupid and yes maybe it will kill me but I’m fine with it. The urge to self harm again is so fucking big but I give my best to not do anything.
I’m tired of everything.
Yes I want my friends to have fun. Yes I want him to feel happy but I’m jealous. I want it two. I want to be there so fucking bad but I can’t.
Nobody can save me. Nobody can help me. Nobody understands it in the way I want to be understood.
It hurts my soul and heart but I don’t think even he can keep me alive for much longer. I love him so fricken much but the world is hurting me so fucking much that I just wanna fucking dye. Life makes me unhappy and it hurt to exist and see others happy. Yes they wanna work but I don’t it’s just pain I’m happier without it and I rather run away in a different country and be homeless than exist here any longer.
I can’t describe how bad my mental health is and how bad I wanna stop existing. But they can’t help me.
I just wanna cry. I wanna cry in his arms and be as broken as I am. I wanna stop hiding it but if I do I will break really really bad. And I don’t know if I will survive it.
I want him to see it. I want him to read it and to come to me but I know it won’t happen and I don’t want to be a burden for anyone….
I wanna be free.
I wanna be loved.
I wanna be happy.
I wanna be me.
I wanna life.
I’m just dead.
I’m dead inside.
I’m a walking shell.
Everyone is done here.
The world is burning.
When will it finally end?
When will it finally stop…
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
My room door has its hinges on my side so youd have to break the door to get in. I think i can hold my side if im awake. Im kinda paranoid. But i guess i have basis in that. I have a reason why i feel so stressed in this house. Even though i shouldnt. I should have no reason to have to keep a knife in my room to feel safe. And i think she doesnt see that i have reasons. I think that she thinks im just angry at her. I think she thinks i dont answer her because im mad at her. She thinks that i would want to keep my door closed when she comes in to talk because then the cats can get in. She thinks i care.
My sister sent me a text earlier. It was actually yesterday. We dont really talk to each other, just relay information when needed. She said that she wants for me to leave as well for the weekend so she and her friends can be totally alone. It wasnt in a rude way or anything. She said that she had noticed how closed off ive been for a while, and that shes pretty worried about me. That if there's anything she could help me with, she would. She said that she cant help if she doesnt know how to, and asked if i could respond. Then a hug sticker....
..........
......
Last year, I would've been so happy to get that message. I knew then that my sister cared about me, and that she would listen if I opened up to her...but it never felt right, it was always like i would be needlessly ruining her mood. That text read to me like a direct invation to share things. It read like I would make her day better by telling her how I've felt all this time.
........but...
I dont know, somewhere there was a tipping point...past that point, i dont feel redeemable, or frankly, like a person. Her words also mirrored mother's words pretty closely, so it makes me afraid that her other words would do that as well.
I feel like any help people will try to throw on me, will just go to waste. Not even the jokey "im employing people" excuse does anything for me anymore.
I needed saving when i was in fucking 2nd grade.
.....what if i got the wrong diagnosis....what if thats why none of the therapy or other aids work....i know that its impossible to fake an autism diagnosis, i know......i also remember how i still thought i was fine, how i was actively playing down every problem i had....whenever i stepped into the doctors room, i took on this persona....the good patient.......
........i just remember the red couches in every room.....in my head, i was just entertaining the adults.. they wanted to do all this to me, and me telling them i dont feel like it helps me, or that i dont see the point in it,, it didnt convince them. So i played along, while convinced i was alright, convinced from the start that none of it was going to help.....
...i was still bottling up all my frustrations, because if you ignore it, it goes away. Talking back will only lead to more conflict. I let the adults mispresent me, not like i cared, it wasnt going to work either way. Since the adults are better at knowing whats good for me, maybe theyre better at knowing me as well huh.
......i remember feeling really guilty, sitting in the waiting room and looking around. Seeing these other kids who had real problems. I felt like a faker. I wasnt supposed to be there.....
.....thats kind of how i feel about life..like im a faker, and that im not supposed to be here....
Last sunday, i was just asking the whole time in my head "why?", "was this your plan?", "did i do something wrong?", "is this what you had always planned, or did i make a choice that altered it?"......
..........
.......i wrote the tags before all the shit from my sister's text onwards..this wasnt supposed to be another one of these posts, just a quick "lol i hate it here"..... i hate it everytime i insinuate that i have trauma. I mean every. single. time. Its the same with any problem that i see as "real". I'll say i have something a couple times, but then the guilt catches up and i feel like ive been lying....its catching up from my "aspergers" diagnosis.....the fact that the diagnosis is called that makes me feel even faker.....i asked about it one time, about why they used the "outdated" term, and the reasoning was that "its just an older term for autism dont worry, it means the same thing"......
...........
......my fuel has kinda run out by now.....my tears have dried completely.....i dont know how else to end this....sorry for posting this. I know its shitty of me to say that and post it anyways, i dont know why i do this........
#my mom always uses this ''i have to see your face by the end of this evening'' reasoning to get me out..#i do usually give away on that. but i dont understand why she needs to see me. or what the consequence of not showing myself is..#like the only reason i can think of for her to need to see me is SH reasons...but ive never struggled with it...and also she would not know#if i did. because i would simply hide it.. obviously i wont show and tell all the ''reasons'' she has to not allow me privacy..#but yeah like she couldnt even tell if i was struggling to eat well or not. when i went to school..#so it cant be that either.. and she could confirm im alive by just asking through the door. or the evidence of me taking stuff from#my shelf in the fridge when nobodys around..#i hate her voice.. you can never predict what volume level it will be.. it sounds so angry and annoyed constantly..#venting
0 notes
Text
Title: first meetings [ii. the small pink-haired boy]
Genre: just angst, drama, romance, historical fiction
Pairing: Sorcerer!Sukuna x gn!sorcerer!reader (heian era; pre-curse sukuna)
Synopsis: in which you befriend the slave boy you’re supposed to spy on.
Warnings: not canon stuff, future dark themes,, smoll manga spoilers, slavery, whipping, mentions of rape, language and violence
Notes: im kinda back i guess skksks also these are pretty much random au’s of my own take of sukuna’s back story uwu, theyre arranged in no particular order and you can read them in any order. This started out as a random one shot and i couldnt get it out of my head lol ksksksks, def not canon btw but it is canon that sukuna used to be an all powerful sorcerer before he turned to the dark side or smthng.
lil dictionary:
non-person- usually what they called slaves during the heian era.
masterlist [for other parts] ;; taglist
“That’s beautiful.”
Contrasting to your rather clean and prestigious appearance, the young boy was dressed in rags and had dirt painted on his face. You could tell by his uncommon red eyes that he didn’t want you here nor did he even want to be associated with you.
“...the boy is rather prideful.” your otosan recounted a few nights before, you’d usually have conversations like this since you were quite close with him and he did like to confide you with these things,“but he has spirit, he’d be good for a ward.”
“What are you doing here?” He spat, being a part of and the sole heir of your family meant you were also treated with dignity and respect, it seemed like this boy wasn’t afraid of anything or anyone, this made you grin wildly much to his disdain, “Oi, stop grinning like that. You’re creeping me the fuck out.”
“I’m Y/N.”
“And I don’t care.”
“Has anyone told you that you’ve got quite the temper?”
“Well, has anyone told you that you’re being an annoying bitch?” he bit back, five minutes into your first meeting, this strange boy seemed to want to get furthest away from you. He seemed to be rather ignorant to his overflowing cursed energy, your father was right, this boy was definitely no joke.
“That’s sad.” You pouted, “All I wanted to say was how beautiful that Kimono is.”
“I was at a store, looking for some clothes that best suited you when I saw a young boy of your age…” your otosan narrated, “Who had a rather high cursed energy, he seemed unaware with it. He works as an errand boy, I believe, he carries heavy clothes and silk… His looks are hard to miss Y/N, so I’m sure you won’t miss him...try to talk to him…”
The boy looks up to you, completely annoyed, “Well, you said it. Now fuck off, yeah?”
You chose to ignore him and just bend down to his level, you had no training for today so you might as well join the boy for a moment since you had time to kill, “You know, if you keep keeping that attitude up, you might scare the customers away.” you mumbled, loud enough for him to hear.
“Yeah?” he clicked his tongue, “Looks to me that you aren’t even here to buy anything.”
“He seemed rather…” Your otosan described, “perplexed...so you might as well go in my stead…”
“Ah.” your grin doesn’t seem to fade despite his rather rough way of speaking, “You just seemed around my age so I got interested.”
“No shit, now buzz off. I got no time for kids like you.”
He talks as if he was older than you, it’s no surprise. Boys like him tend to think they know quite a lot.
“Do you wish to tell me your name now?”
He was silent for a moment.
That’s when realization dawned upon you, why he seemed perplexed around your otosan, why he thinks you were an annoying buzz, and why he couldn’t reply when you asked for his name. You feel yourself inwardly cringe at your mistake, it seems like the boy your father took interest in is a slave with no name, “Twenty.” he mumbles, shrugging nonchalantly.
“What?”
“They call me twenty.” he recounts, his voice is still rough around the edges, remaining uncensored by his identity.
“Right…” you tilt your head, “Twenty…”
“You’ve got silks to bring to the next town, boy!” a loud voice calls out, cutting you short, making the pink-haired boy put the pretty kimono down and back for display. Without even sparing you a glance or a word, he retreats to the back and you’re left squatting there alone. You watch him from behind, specifically at the bandages that peeked through his wrists.
The boy had piqued your interest to the point that you made it your weekly agenda to visit him and a-some-nights agenda to watch over him. He still ignores you and seems to be annoyed by you every time but he doesn’t seem to be doing anything about it so you just sit there.
You were also still in awe by how much raw energy he possessed, you’d ask your otosan if he knew any sorcerers with lost children because it surely seemed as if this boy wasn’t ordinary.
“Just keep an eye on him,” was all your father said as you watch the boy close up shop late at night from on top of a roof, “He might make a great sorcerer and shift the tides.”
Your otosan was not one for gambling on people but it seemed like he made a large bet on this boy.
As usual, you’re watching over him close up. It’s late and the owner of the place walks out, a pipe on his lips. Right then and there, he slaps the pink-haired teenager right at the face, “You should’ve joined the customer awhile ago in the dressing room, boy.” he growls, “It would’ve been quick…”
You feel the negative energy emit stronger than ever and your grip on your knife is tight, “Don’t get involved, Y/N.” your otosan’s warning echoes in your head, yes your otosan may have been interested in him but he was never one to dwell in human affairs, saying they were annoying and a mess to clean up.
“...It seems like the lesson a few nights ago wasn’t enough.” you snap back to reality and watch his boss stretch out a whip with its pointy ends and you feel your blood run cold.
‘Don’t get involved-’
You ignore your otosan’s words in your head and throw a stone right at a nearby sign, resulting in a booming clang, making the cat nearby yelp outloud. The pink-haired boy jumps on the spot and so does the older man at the sound.
“Ah fucking-” the older man curses, tucking the whip back in, “No food for you for three days. Know your fucking worth, non-person.”
Your grip on your nodachi lessens as you let out a sigh of relief, whatever legal terms your father must be talking about needs to be done quickly.
On the next day, you’re on your way to visit him again. Carrying the bento box that you know he’ll refuse again because of his ‘pride’ yet you stop dead on your tracks when you find his owner and an older man talking, Sukuna seems to be standing behind them, looking quite uncomfortable.
It didn’t take two and two to guess what was going on, the amount of cursed energy leaking on him was strong so you could only guess this was the man who wanted to get his way on him yesterday. Your nose crinkles in absolute disgust, “Don’t get involved-”
Once again, you ignore your otosan’s words.
“Hey!” You call out, you see his red eyes widen, “What are you doing?”
The older man frowns at your sudden appearance, “None of your business brat. Now go home-”
“I said,” You repeated, your voice dangerously low, “What are you doing to him?”
“He’s a non-person, kid.” his ‘owner’ growls, you notice his hands dangerously close to his whip, “A fucking slave in simpler terms, now get the fuck out before I beat him and you.”
“You don’t scare me.” Your eyes are narrowed, truthfully, no one ever scares you. You were the heir of your clan. It was to be expected and drilled since your curse energy manifested when you were five that fear would come last, “Now unhand the boy.”
“This bitch-”
“Now, now.” The other man smiles, cutting the pink-haired boy’s ‘owner’ off, “Maybe I can take that young child with me too. After all, they seem to be good friends. Two is better than one…”
You watch the other older man snake an arm on the young boy’s shoulder and you could feel the fear leaking out, it was harder to mask and hide now.
“Is it alright to put a little scar on’em? So that they’d know-” He gets ready to take out the whip while your fists are clenched, this would be easy. You could get away with this later, at least you’d take the boy away from this place and help him control his energy after.
Yet before you’re able to land a blow, the pink-haired boy yells at you to move as his ‘owner’ takes out a whip to whip you.
For someone who didn’t seem to like your presence, he was rather quick to defend you, having his face get hit in the process by the sharp whip. Your eyes widen in surprise, “Ah, shit… Y/N, run!” he yells but you’re staring at his very bloody face.
It would obviously leave marks like the wrists and who knows which parts since he was always covered by that very loose raggedy kimono.
You clench your fists tightly and look up from his blood features, the ‘owner’ stops on his tracks when he meets your very cold gaze, “Do you know who you just messed with?” you asked, “You really think I won’t tell my otosan that you planned to make me your prostitute?”
“Y-Y/N, jesus christ just fucking run-” he tried to stutter out, any evidence of the prideful and strong boy who tried to shoo you away was now gone.
Yet like the stubborn child you are, you ignore him and instead take out your family seal and drop it in front of them, ignoring the pink-haired boy’s plea’s and watching the two men in front of you turn white as a ghost as they see the nameplate, “My name is Ryomen Y/N.” You stated, voice loud and clear, “And you better hope that I’ll let you out here dead or me and my otosan will hunt you down for the rest of your life.”
taglist [if your name is crossed out, i cant tag you!]
@shinhiromi ;; @hcn421 ;; @airybnb ;; @coldbookworm ;; @kristineyoshaii ;; @frankenstein852
@iguessimastannnow
#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jujutsu kaisen fanfiction#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk imagines#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#sukuna x reader#jjk x reader#sukuna imagines
354 notes
·
View notes
Text
GWAINCELOT ESSAY THREE???
[commentary voice] ah yes and this gwaincelot essay.... which turned into a fic was inspired by @nextstopparis and @little-ligi
GWAINE TEACHING LANCELOT HOW TO READ. and thats how they actually CONFESS.
imagine gwaine seeing lancelot trip up reading leon’s plan for the day, seeing him trying to understand it. and gwaines, hes a little in love. Hes. Hes a little hit with feelings for this Noble (tm) knight. So OF COURSE he CANT EMOTION and he tries to show his affection for lancelot without yknow being in ‘loVE’
he comes over with his swishy hair and bantery tone like “oooOhHh LANCELOT! Lancey! Hey! Hello! Can’t read leon’s goddamn awful handwriting huh?”
And Lancelots embarrassed and flushes red and gwaine thinks hes Fucked Up (and he really doesn’t want to fuck this up, this is the first time he’s actually felt emotions this deep for someone) and tries to fix it panickedly, like the Anxiety Clown He Is.
He keeps on saying sorry and apologising, and Lancelot, the EVER CALM KNIGHT GUY, goes “it’s fine, it’s okay. It’s nothing to do with you...” and then he hesitates. He HESITATES. “....it’s just that...” and then he BITES HIS LIP and gwaine thinks he might just faint there and then, “...i cant read.”
and now it hits him, gwaine, gwaine, who thought literacy was something trash and something he didn’t really need, realises how important it is. and so, yknow because hes kind of wrapped in those Emotions (tm), he pulls lancelot’s sleeve after practice, when they’re alone in the changing room. (and if lancelot wasn’t so tired and miserable, he would have easily seen gwaine BLUSH)
And he, shyly asks if lancelot wouldnt mind being tutored by him.
Now Lancelot is OVERJOYED, and he’s borderline CRYING because lancelot, poor old village boy lancelot who’d been kicked out of the knights of camelot, and had to become a MERCENARY and fight for masters who didn’t care for him, has NEVER HAD someone literally CARE about him so much. (Apart from Merlin. He loves merlin <3)
so now imagine lancelot waking up an hour early the next morning, and showing up into gwaine’s room. He knows gwaine literally doesnt sleep with a lock, so he just barges in, and starts shaking gwaine.
Now GWAINE sleeps like a Log (had so much shit going on irl, time to sleep it away) and when he opens his bleary eyes, seeing lancelot in one of his stupid v neck shirts over him, hes like “....h...helo??”
and lancelot’s all like. “We- werent YOU gonna give me reading lessons.” And gwaine nods, yawning (and in that moment lancelot thinks gwaine looks unimaginably cute, so cute that he wants to literally ruffle gwaine’s hair and run his hands through how silky and brown it is.)
THEN gwaine pulls on the dont care-ish mask, and makes his arms into a pillow under his head, as he leans against the wall behind his bed, in some kind of somewhat???flirty??? manner??? [i dont...i dont know what hes trying to do. On the other hand! Not does Lancelot :) ]
Lancelot, does not realise this is gwaine’s poor attempt at flirting - since he’s seen gwaine ACTUALLY flirting and this is like. Nothing. And its also poorly executed. Which is NOTHING like gwaine.
So he pulls gwaine’s arm, and half hauls him out of bed.
As gwaine’s head crashes into lancelot’s stomach, he can smell lancelot’s clothes. They smell of flowers, and cotton and everything so natural and gwaine, who literally smells of wine, and wood and Tavern. (And aftershave, or the 500AD equivalent)
[see here, see im trying to bring themes of dionysis okay. OkayyyyyyyyY. yours truly likes looking at greek mythology. And both these two complete dionysis]
Gwaine, in his sleepy stupor, nestles his head on Lancelot’s hip, who gives a sigh and stands there. One hand clutching gwaine’s, leaving the other free.....
....to rake through his soft, flowy brown hair. And twirl his fingers through its waves, and Gwaine cuddles in further.
And since Lancelot left the door open, Leon (the other bitch who wakes up at 4am to do idk nothing) sees them two...like that, illuminated by the SUNLIGHT behind them, and smiles a little.
And then he trips over the stairs, the moment is lost.
Gwaine and Lancelot pull away at the same time, and gwaine’s face turns back to “ha ha im a Jerk (tm)” and if he wasnt too busy trying to hide how flustered he was, he’d see Lancelot looking at him the way he used to look at GWEN.
They both blink and look at each other, understandingly, neither of them to speak of this again.
And then Gwaine drags himself out of bed, and Lancelot raises his eyebrows as he watches him (totally not checking him out) haul out a book from his cupboard.
Gwaine’s too sleepy for this, he keeps yawning and rubbing his eyes (looking like a cat, Lancelot notes) and Lancelot takes a deep breath, his eyes understanding.
“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”
“Lancelot, I love..” he bites his tongue, cursing his half asleep mind “..doing this, and love hanging out with you...I just cant stay up this early.”
Reading lessons, from now on, are at 1:30am-whenever Gwaine and Lancelot stop rambling about Odysseus and Circe and Telemachus
[i dont know any other ancient books apart from like. Ancient greek/Roman ones. So i guess. Its not historically accurate,,,,BUUIT this is a fanfic for a pair who had like no scenes together SO i think i can take some ✨creative liberties✨]
Lancelot has heard of the journey of Aneas from travelling bards, singing songs in his native old english. Gwaine’s eyes are quick at latin, and he learnt the flaws of Romulus and Remus in his pure latin. Gwaine’s a good teacher, and lancelot is a quick study, and it’s not long before they’re arguing over which Goddess caused the most harm in the Illiad.
Gwaine’s never met someone who he could reveal that he loved reading to, he loved doing.
Lancelot’s never met someone who he could tell he couldn’t read, and ask if they could teach him, love learning.
They make it work.
The other knights notice, of course they notice. Percival notices how Lancelot stumbles into the Gwaine’s room at night, bright eyed. Elyan notices Lancelot and Gwaine’s voices from Gwaine’s room opposite him; sometimes slow, Gwaine speaking slowly and Lancelot following; sometimes heated and passionate.
(They’re arguing. They’re arguing about how to pronounce Minerva)
Merlin finds the two, in the early hours of the morning - when the birds are figuring what song they sing today - on Gwaine’s bed.
Gwaine leaned against the bedframe, his trousered legs splayed over the sheets. Loosely braided, long brown hair fell over his closed eyelids, his mouth in a small smile.
And Merlin follows his arm draped over Lancelot, snuggled beside him, his head on his broad shoulder, every breath of wind pushing against curly black hair, making it almost /bounce/. His eyes are covered by the other man’s hair, and he looks...content. More content than Merlin has ever seen him.
He slips out as quietly as he came in, and smirks, hes gotta tell arthur they finally got their shit together oh GOD
Its no surprise to anyone but them, when Arthur pulls Lancelot out of training, and into his chambers.
“I’m glad you’ve found someone Lancelot.” He starts, his face geniune, his voice giving away hints of relief. (He thought he was never going to see his knight smile again after all the ordeals that had happened to him)
“Oh...” Lancelot’s heart sinks, “...how did you find out, Sire?”
Arthur blinks, taking in the change of mood in Lancelot, maybe it wasn’t anything important, maybe they were trying to keep it casual, hell they didnt want the king knowing.
“I- uh, I just noticed...” Goddamnit Merlin, and Goddamn his need to tell him everything he saw. (Merlin had advised him not to do this, as they sat on his bed after a long night. This was really his fault.)
Lancelot pales, and he places his hands down on the table beside him, palms slapping stone as he did so.
“Well, I guess I should tell you the whole truth then,” his voice is quiet, and Arthur steps closer, “Sire I am not of Noble birth, and was born in a village - as you know.”
Arthur nods, his arms crossed, but his Kingly Bravado fell away at the sight of his knight, and one of his closest friends, being this vulnerable.
“Yes I know, but what does this ha-“
“And we children in the village we-“ he falters, “-we were never taught to read.”
“Yes, no I understand, I-“ he pauses, Lancelot’s words hitting him a bit too late, this was about literacy?
This, this whole conversation was about literacy?
Not being gay?
Merlin was going to have a field day
“Sire?”
“I understand Lancelot, and is this why you feel a little out of place with the other knights?” He carries it on, with a smile, he has a few questions to ask merlin.
“Yes, and that’s why I asked Gwaine to tutor me from time to time, although, the sessions carry through late into the night, which may have been affecting my performance at practice. I’ll have you know that this is a temporary th-“
“It’s fine Lancelot,” Arthur places a hand on his shoulder, “You are still exceptional at practice,”
“Thank you Sire,” Lancelot twinkles.
✨
“Theyre, theyre not together?” Merlin cant stop laughing, tears streaming down his face, “theyre not TOGETHER?? oh my God arthur what did you DO”
They sit together on Arthur’s bed, drinking wine from stemless cups together, with Arthur recounting the events of the day; red faced.
“I mean, it was your idea Merlin.”
“I just saw them, and I assumed...I didnt...I didnt think youd ASK them.”
“What do you think I’d do then?? Let them be on their merry way.”
“Yes!”
✨
“Do you like me?” Gwaine asks, unexpectedly, one night, the moon vibrant against the loud sea.
“You’re...tolerable...” Lancelot says, a smile tugging at his lips, as the silver moonlight falls against his hair, a halo around him.
✨
The knights give them the look every morning, as the two of them stumbled out of the same room, more frequently than ever.
Sometimes Lancelot would throw on Gwaine’s shirt, when he’d crumpled his own beyond repair. Sometimes Gwaine would put some of Lancelot’s hair oil on, when his hair was frizzy.
They gave each other knowing looks when Gwaine and Lancelot started whispering and giggling like a bunch of schoolgirls.
✨
And then Stupid gwaine had to go get fucking stabbed, and their delicate dance was like trying to waltz through a minefield.
Lancelot clutches onto Gwaine’s arm as Merlin feels his forehead with shaking hands.
“He’s burning up.”
“Infection...?” Lancelot sounds broken, and nods, fumbling with his pack to find some bandages.
It was just a simple quest; a save the day, get the girl, do various harmless shenanigans type of quest.
He’d half expected Gwaine to get the girl, and he cant help but give out a half choked laugh. Gwaine had no idea what hit him when she turned out to be the evil one all along.
He tries to forget that Gwaine showed no interest in her, he tries to forget that Gwaine’s been less frequent at the Tavern, he tries to forget that he hasn’t seen Gwaine with anyone since months now.
Gwaine, his beautiful Gwaine was lying on his lap, hot red blood rushing from his side, staining his polished chainmail with dark, sticky blood.
He’s been out for nearly an hour now, and Lancelot remembers carrying him, through the entire forest, forgetting his sword and his helmet and just grabbing Gwaine and getting the shit out of there.
Gwaine’s lack of self preservation was really rubbing off on Lancelot nowadays.
Merlin watches as Lancelot holds back tears, his own eyes stinging. Gwaine can’t die like this, he can’t die like this....
“hælan beorn adl”
Merlin’s eyes flashed gold, and Lancelot could feel warmth coming back into the fingers he was grabbing.
He was coming back.
And then the weight of everything hits him.
He was in Fucking Love.
✨
“Hey.” Gwaine’s voice is rough from disuse, but Lancelot nearly sobs when he hears the voice.
“Don’t fucking do that to me again, amor meus.” He puts his head down on Gwaine’s chest; finding the hammering of his heart calming.
He shimmies onto Merlin’s bed, which Gwaine had been lying in for the past few days.
“Did you mean, ami meus?” Gwaine sounds tired, too tired to be awake.
“Huh? Did i say something else?” Lancelot decides to play dumb, a sparkle in his eyes,
“I thought I heard amor meus,” Gwaine pushes his nose into Lancelot’s hair, taking in the wonderful smell of coconut.
“Well then, at least your hearing’s okay, amor meus.”
Gwaine gulped, and was sure Lancelot could hear his loud swallow.
“Lancelot, I hope this isnt a big joke with me teachin you latin and all,” Gwaine’s voice is a little wobbly from the slee deprivation and the magic and the pain numbers, “because I’ll have you know that I really love you, and I cant go on like this any longer,”
“Its okay Gwaine, I learnt latin from the man I love, of course it’s not a joke.”
“The man you love? Who’s tha-“
Realisation hits him like a brick.
Oh.
Oh.
“Me?” His voice cracks, and Lancelot looks up, a smirk on his face.
“Of course dumbass.”
“Like I’m meant to know that,” Gwaine tries to keep his dont care-ish aura, but they both know he’s too exhausted to keep that up.
“mmm?”
Gwaine kisses him on the nose, and he wraps himself around him.
And thats how Merlin finds them later that day, eyes blinking as he stood there.
✨
“I’m glad you’ve found someone, Lancelot.” Arthur coughs.
“Is that what that whole talk was about???”
“Answer the question.” His words sound harsh, but he’s barely hiding a smile.
“I’m glad too, I’m Glad I found Gwaine too.” Lancelot blushes, turning to gwaine.
“Why are you asking anyway, Princess?”
“Oh just, making sure this time.”
#shit this turned into a fic#im sorry#uhh#gwainecelot#gwaine#lancelot#gwaine x Lancelot#gwaine/lancelot#i should post this onto ao3#but like. fix it up first#fun times#first tumblr fic yall#im growing!!!#IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AN ESSAY WHAT IS THIS#gwaincelot#im SO sorry
52 notes
·
View notes
Note
💫, 🌻, 🌼, and 🌺 for Mercy?
💫What is your favourite fact about this character and why?
I don’t know if I’ve got a favorite because I love mercy too Much, but. that they've got this enviable easiness to their physicality. think about the kid when you were in high school that was just like. effortlessly capable and athletic. always comfortable. the type that made ugly basketball shorts and soccer shorts look good. and when they land some ridiculous slam dunk, then looks for you and dimples like it was nothing? get the fuck out.
So like. yeah, when theyre bopping along to something with a good beat they’ve got dorkass lil goofy moves. but shit. they can dance. (also here’s the thing. mercy loves folk dances. catch ‘em twirlin your grandparents round the townhall floor)
🌻 What little things do they notice about people or the world around them that make them happy? What tiny little treasures do they find in the normal every day that makes the world seem a little brighter for them?
mercy takes a lot of pictures. of moss growin up trees. flowers, birds, bugs. food, produce stands, buildings, cars. tshirts that made them laugh
while on noveria, shepard stopped to snap pictures of indoor plants, comfortable looking office chairs, geth while they’re still shooting at us commander (and cracking open a lot of safes, Jesus, shepard—) anyway. the next morning Ashley stumbles into the kitchen and sees Shepard already at the table with coffee, buttering a hot muffin and scrolling through their omnitool. They’re reading about all the things they’d photographed the day before. It turns into a space Wikipedia spiral
🌼 Who are this characters friends and found family? How did they meet, how long have they been friends for, could they ever be something more than just friends? What do they look for in a friend or a romantic partner?
kasumi was their first ride-or-die. still is. the two of 'em met at vaguely fifteen in san francisco. mercy got to know kasumi's insanely badass cat burglin' grandmama, leaves the reds because of her, was there for the vinny fiasco at seventeen... two lil criminal peas in a pod. their cackles synch up and feed off each other--'heckle and jeckle,' kasumi's grandmama called them. then at eighteen mercy risks stowing away to the arcturus station on a personal vendetta and is arrested by anderson. they dont see each other again until me2.
before kas were the henry's, royann and jo ellen, and those two women had a profound impact on mercy's life (and their name!) although mercy inevitably makes their way to new orleans for a stay at juvie. once out, the reds take mercy in, support them in new orleans and then takes em out to San Fran
after kas, shepard becomes anderson's ward. they have a rocky start (he did arrest the kid!) but mercy falls into the habit of sending him little tchotchkes during their assignments (did they steal it? was it bought?), and he's the first one they call after akuze. even though they're not legally required to spend their holidays with each other any more, they go scuba diving together still, and are pretty close by the time me1 rolls around
for mercy, the questions to meet as a friend are: are you funny? are you interesting? they don’t need to trust you (only close friendships is it necessary). for the longest time the only thing past friends was wheres the body youre calling me at 3 am friends or you'd been filed under: my child
of the normandy crew (and not counting “the children”), id say their favorites are, in no order: wrex, mordin, chakwas, edi, vega, samara, zaeed and joker
romance is new. it's.. it's really good. mercy is so enthralled by thane they’re left a little bewildered. it’s taking them a while to catch up. they’ll get there. boy howdy do they
🌺 What does your OC do to calm down when they’re scared or after a nightmare? Do they have any special comfort items or need to be reassured by a specific person? How do they handle this if they’re alone?
they don’t need one specific person, but usually won’t turn away company. mercy’s used to handling things on their own. mercy will roll out their mat and practice. sometimes a crewmate joins them and it’s really nice—acroyoga always ends with laughter. if it’s bad, 108 sun salutations. reeeally long shower. break something down into its components. sparring with thane on sleepless nights has been um. really interesting. build a model ship. clean out the inbox n reply to emails.
starting before me1, some nights you’d see the commander drinking (usually tea, sometimes stronger) putting together jigsaw puzzles, and people join them. It can be quiet, private, real late night two heads bent over colored tiles trying to find the right words to fit together or there’ll be a rowdy crowd drunkenly cheering and jeering over the table. it becomes the puzzle table. sometimes crew will add a piece as they walk by. Adams hangs the finished pieces all over the ship
#thank you for the asks 🥺#like okay you didn’t ask for this#this I got carried away#forgive me#oc: mercy shepard#themshep#mass effect
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
WIP ROUNDUP!!
i was tagged by @trashpocket (hey bae ;)) and since im lonely here on tumblr and have no one but the void to yell at, i won’t be tagging anyone :((
okay let’s start off with my published WIPS lol i have quite a collection and boy do i regret posting most of these, but anyway that’s here’s my hot girl shit
"i’ll figure it out with a little more time” - (if u knew me at my thai BL phase no u didn’t :)) anyways this was a supposed to be a pretty short fic that features an oblivious Sarawat not knowing how to navigate his feelings towards Tine and Tine being an equally giant dumbass. their school is hosting a school dance and Sarawat’s emotionally constipated ass doesn’t know how to SPEAK and just ASK Tine to go w/ him. i swear i might be the author of this story but i also get mad at these fuckers
“we’re boyfriends?” - ah yes another Thai BL fic, i will admit. i have NO idea where to take this story lmao. i still wanna finish it tho cuz i hate disappointing ppl. the fic starts with Ae and Pond making a dumb bet so Pond will stop jerking off in their shared room and promises that he won’t do that as long Ae dates someone random and based off of Pond’s choosing. sweet bby Pete wanders into their campus accidentally and gets picked. Ae does the deed and tells Pete they’re dating. Ae thinks that Pete and Pond are scheming to make his life a living hell but lo and behold Pete has actually fallen in love with him (heheheh)
“i wanna ruin our friendship” - hello lgbtq+ community :). we all know where this fuckin title is from don’t be sneaky. so here’s my KilluGon college fic. I initially wrote this like two years ago and uploaded it on wattpad lmaooo then i edited it and posted on ao3 and once again i have no idea where to take this (ive forgotten what my original idea for this was lol) so basically Killua and Gon are really close friends and Gon is sortof a player in this AU idk why khdkadha but anywayz all of Gon’s exes have left him bc they’re jealous of Killua but Gon would never pick his current S/O over him so HAAA. it all goes to shit tho when Retz decides to trick Gon to taking her back for the school dance and idk what path to go for T_T
AIGHT now for my UNPUBLISHED WIPS buckle up yall this is a LOT. all the titles are WIPS so that’s why theyre iffy lol
“pussy talented”- (don’t mind the title lmao i just wanted a cat pun in there somewhere) basically, Bokuto is a firefighter and Akaashi an editor. They work near each other and Bokuto often visits Kuroo, who works with Akaashi. Ofc Akaashi falls in love at first sight but then he overhears that he has a "Kenma" waiting for him at home. Akaashi assumes that he's probably Bo's boyfriend and then leaves him alone, making Bo confused as hell. Little that he knows that Kenma is actually a grumpy calico cat.
“killugon flower shop AU” - Wing owns a flower shop and Killua helps out with Zushi along with Alluka out of boredom and one day Alluka asks Killua to help out with her client then he meets Gon and is immediately smitten until Gon says that he's looking for something that he can give to a girlfriend (it was actually Ging's request lol), lots of misunderstanding, Killua being too shy to ask the handsome stranger out and Alluka and Zushi being done with his shit
“rice isn’t the only thing getting crushed here” - Osamu falls in love with one of his most loyal costumers—Akaashi and he thinks he might just have a shot at it until one day while Akaashi is ordering a bunch of riceballs, Bokuto Koutaro of Japan's National Volleyball team enters the restaurant and sweeps Akaashi of his feet, unexpected angst and a generous helping of unrequited pining :)) dw this fic can go two ways: Bokuto is just Akaashi's best friend who he hasn't seen in months or b. Bokuto is actually Akaashi's fiance maybe i’ll write both endings heehee
“killua is sad and gets lovebombed” - while staying in Whale Island, Killua thinks he that he doesn't deserve Gon and tries to leave him while he's asleep but his plan is stopped when Gon wakes up and they both end up revealing their true feelings for each other
“excuse to write charles getting fucked by two delicious men” - Erik and Charles have been in a relationship for years now and basically fell out of love so when Erik gets promoted and has to move, Charles agrees and so they break up. Charles turns to Logan (who harbors a giant crush on Charles) for companionship and sleep together once. Logan says it was an accident but Charles wants more and they establish a FWB situation of sorts since Charles isn't ready yet. But then Charles gets into an accident and can't remember what happened the past year and a half so he still thinks he's with Erik. Meanwhile, Erik is living a luxurious yet empty life and when he gets the call from Raven about Charles' situation, he immediately goes back running.
“killua in whale island” - KilluGon are like 20-ish and Killua visits Whale Island and Ging just happens to be there as well. Killua thinks about how even though Gon and Ging are near identical, Gon just looks so much more handsome. (probs just a oneshot)
“another horny cherik fic” - Charles is a demon who was accidentally summoned when Raven, Hank and Ororo uses Erik's blood to perform a demon summoning ritual (as a joke) they didn't know it would actually work so now Charles is stuck with Erik because the human absolutely refuses to sell his soul
“IwaOi overboard AU” - Oikawa is a rich pretty boy and Iwa a college dropout who works at his uncle's repair shop with his younger brother Tobio and cousin Kyoutani ( both 5 yrs old). One day he gets called over to fix one of Oikawa's cars and after a failed and disastrous encounter with a drunk Oikawa, Iwa leaves the mansion fuming. Later in the day, it's discovered that Oikawa got in a car crash that took away his memories and since Oikawa apparently lives alone, he has no one to get him. not until Iwa comes ofc and with a malicious and vengeful intent, he tells Oikawa that they're dating and live together in his crappy apartment
“dancer Akaashi” - Akaashi is a dancer, Osamu is a bartender at the bar he works at and has also been in love with Akaashi for the past two years. He doesn't confess since he knows Akaashi doesn't like romance but then enters a bright eyed cheery Bokuto who sweeps the unreachable Midnight Moon off of his feet, bokuaka but im leaning towards bokuosaaka since akaashi deserves two boyfriends
“watch me be poetically horny for Akaashi Keiji” - Akaashi is a vampire and Osamu, a skilled artist. Akaashi posing nude and delighted at how beautifully Osamu portrays him. Osamu says otherwise.
Cherik College AU - drift by great gable.... late teens cherik... Erik being a misanthropic horny bastard and Charles a snarky piece of shit.... they get paired up for 7 minutes in heaven... turns out Charles has been ogling him for a while now.. hmmmm,,,.,. ( i wrote this when i was drunk and my og draft is too long so take this instead lolz)
“ BokuAka (NSFW) ” - Bokuto pushing off a guy who tried to hit on Akaashi while they're at a club. Akaashi gets so turned on he immediately drags Bokuto to the bathroom where he gets his facefucked in one of the bathroom stalls or Akaashi getting his face fucked in a dirty alley at the back of a bar after Bokuto gets into a fistfight.
“KuroKen (NSFW) ” -Kenma does top during sex but but he's just really lazy to put in the effort
aight that’s it oh damn i just now realize how much i have T-T bruhhhhhhh and this isn’t even all of them damnnn
#wips#fanfic#fanfic wips#cherik#charles xavier#erik lensherr#xmen#haikyuu!!#hq!!#bokuaka#kuroken#osaaka#bokuosaaka#bokuto koutaro#akaashi keiji#miya osamu#hxh#hunter x hunter#killugon#killua zoldyck#gon freecs#thai bl#2gether the series#sarawat#tine#sarawatine#love by chance#aepete#iwaoi#Iwaizumi Hajime
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
rebels s4 first-time watch liveblogging! (just jedi knight on bcuz i only wanna watch the good eps of this show)
sorry. the hair is bad. maybe dont let a blind man give himself a haircut
kanan and hera r the only too bitches i care about in this house
theyre soooo cuuuute ugh
y go to the fuel depot tho that seems like a recipe for disaster
kanan didnt have to b dramatic about it i think they all cudve gotten away if he had just got in the ship. theyve been in tighter situations before
can kanan b a force ghost tho? just to talk to hera. idc about the others. hera seems rly broken up about this
hera: *crying*. chopper: bur bur. bur bur bur bur bur. hera: *sniffles* youre right
ezra and hera reminiscing about kanan is actually really good and really hits :(
the side plot is stupid. y not just use a bomb-bomb and kill that little grey bitch. a fuckin paint bomb? r u serious?let zeb kill him bitch goddamnit zeb deserves a little murder. as a treat
what the fuck is happening
god fucking damnit dave u fucking furry ive had enough of these fucking wolves
i hate how they talk
EZRA SAID “AHSOKA” <33333
leave hera alone she needs like 5 fucking minutes to grieve her baby-daddie’s death goddamn
FUCK YEAHHHHH WE R GOING BACK TO THE JEDI TEMPLE i love the jedi i miss the clone wars :(
im gonna say it. the loth-cats cudve been cuter
ohmygod dave finally made his dream come true of having his characters ride wolves (bcuz he said he wanted ahsoka to ride a wolf at some point. but these guys riding wolves r fine too i guess. ahsoka makes anything cooler tho... jus sayin)
AHSOKA
this is some force-power-bullshit that i can GET BEHIND. TELEPORTING WOLVES HELL YEAH
WHY CUDNT THEY JUST FUCKING KEEP THE STORMTROOPER OUTFITS THAT THEY STOLE THE FIRST TIME WHY. DO THEY HAVE TO DO THIS SAME BULLSHIT EVERY. GODDAMN. EPISODE
they literally have no asses
who the fuck is this crusty bitch
COURUSCANT lets go there. i miss the clone wars :(
wait wheres rex. is he safe? is he alright?
y does sabine have to b here
good job ezra u got it. u cracked the code. ahsoka is the daughter <3
sorry nothing was happening so i blanked out for a bit but now we are in the world between worlds AND I AM HEARING THE VOICES OF ALL OF MY FRIENDS GOD I LOVE U GUYS OBI WAN AHSOKA ANAKIN I LOVE YALL
this scene is very cool tho
ugh stop can i skip the sabine scenes? i wanna hang out w ezra in the world between worlds
AHSOKA AHSOKA AHSOKA AHSOKA AHSOKA AHSOKA AHSOKA
SO FUCKING COOOOOOOL
she shud do the thing again where she falls onto her back and kicks the enemy away i think thatd b rly fun
hellooooo hottie
ahsoka <3
does she know shes the baddest bitch in the galaxy? i feel like she doesnt know. i feel like sabine thinks SHES the baddest bitch in the galaxy but rly its ahsoka
is it like ahsokas job is to dramatically go “anakin...”
when did she name the fucking bird
ok god complex ezra
ahsokas been through so much shit in her lifetime. she can literally understand any trauma just name it
cud we not have done one more take to have my guy palps say ahsokas name correctly? i mean its not a huge deal but like. was he payed by the second???
“i will. i promise” ahsoka ur so fucking cute
wh
whered it go
how can the entire temple just skrrt away
REX
KALLUS
AHHH MY FRIENDS
WOLFFE AND GREGGOR
HONDO
okay what the fuck is happening y did everyone just show up
ahsoka said “ima take a nap hmu after the finale”
i hate this fuckin grey dude
hondo ily
sorry i stopped paying attention but wolffe just had a line so im back now
OHMYGOSH
BOYFRIENDS
KALLUZEB IN THE SAME FRAME OHMYGOODNESS
oh my fuck this next episode is HOW MANY MINUTES LONG?????
hera in this ep b like ‘am i gregnant?’
kallus ur the coolest bitch in this whole show (minus ahsoka)
go hera <3
yo what the fuck
this episode is 47 goddamn minutes so that we have time for this pig catapulting bullshit?
the whole second half of this show is just the writers making excuses to have thrawn do absolutely nothing while still pretending like he’s a threat
why r there 2 separate animal dues ex machinas in this finale?
yoooo ezra i actually rly like u bro :(((
hey where the fuck is darth vade y did he just dip out of the show. i feel like he cud help the empire out in this situation
very weird that thrawn supports sabines patreon or whatever the fuck
heyyyy palpatine what the fuck
they were rly broken up about kanans death for like. an episode. but theyre chill now theyre over it
y is palpatine into ezra?
can kallus and zeb smooch? just once? please? wud that b so hard?
how is this pig not dead
oh lmao he is dead hahahahahahah
im still confused about how greggor didnt die in clone wars. i thought he died? was i tripping?
palpatine is trying so hard not to saw “dewit” right now
what does destroying the temple accomplish?
HOW R THEY STORMTROOPERS MISSING THESE SHOTS WHAT THE FUCK HE IS A STATIC TARGET
oh so NOW ull kill the little grey bitch
GOD FUCK THE PIG IS ALIVE????? ARGH U AINT CUTE BITCH. JUST DIE
y cant he get out of there tho
bro a bitch is crying
yooo
theyre dating
hera’s makeup
the way i broke down when i saw ahsoka
tears
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
I feel like Ive aged at least 6 years since covid started. Im angrier. Less adapted to being outside then I used to be- which is saying a lot. This time last year I was?? Actually healthier mentally then I had ever been and looking forward to having the house alone for a month which?? Was the most freedom I wouldve ever had.
A lots fucking changed. I drove halfway across the country- all 30 hours at once with my big brother AND two elderly dogs, plus my cat. All animals on too many drugs (the vet said they couldnt overdose, and then failed to give any further instruction) cami peed on herself twice, unable to move. I had to waterboard her in Phoenix, a truly terrifying hell city where all the roads are raised and overlapping and its a hot as shit cause its?? What june?? Time was so fake this year I mustve just been stoned the whole time till I ran out of weed, and since moving its been a relief to be able to turn off the spinning anxious thoughts for a few hours
my big brother joined us. He brought a new dog with him which?? Is always a lot, plus I have this pack of dogs now cause the puppy wouldnt leave the super cancer ridden dog alone, and Im able to get her cbd regularly here, so shes always comfortable now instead of just?? Sometimes which is a lot nicer. We didnt think shed make it to chrisrmas. I thought shed die with me home alone to take care of everything, like always. It was almost a relief, I wouldn't have to coach my brother through the grieving process at least, and I had already finished. Its hard now even, for me to realize she might even have another christmas (but I wont hold my breath)
I feel safer going outside here then I did in Austin. I only went out a handful of times in texas, for the last few months I was ordering almost all groceries, and only going to the store once mask mandates were mandatory (theyre not anymore. Im so worried for texas. I missed a huge freeze by mere months. I dont think my elderly dogs wouldnt survived it. If I was alone with them, Im not sure I woudlve.
My parents took my brother to mexico with them. I begged them not to go, told them how irresponsible it was to travel across boarders. To visit an island and take all the plane germs with. I told them that even if my mom and brother were staying at home all day with me, my dad was still going to work and he didnt know what his coworkers were doing. That they wouldn't know what the people on the plane were doing. That at any point they could become the stupid americans that killed half an islands population.
They left a week after today last year. The boarders were closed the next day. Their friend has been traveling back and forth ever since. I have no idea how, except for the fact shes white and rich and wont hesitate to destroy a child, so I can only imagine how shed treat costomer service.
I will no longer allow this angry aggressive woman to ever make me feel bad, and I will allow myself to finally fight back. Im an adult, maybe not all the time (cause lets be real I'll always be a bit too eccentric for most) but when I get angry and allow myself that anger, it's not a bad thing. Anger doesn't have to make me feel like Ive done something wrong. Im usually very just in my actions, and I wont allow my parents influence to tell me all anger is misdirected and hurtful for reasons I couldnt understand. Its okay for me to be angry.
I think being alone with animals for months is at least reassuring that my childhood was unreasonable if nothing else. Which of course is a silly polite society term for pretty fucked, if nothing else.
My aunt had to gall to say weve had a good 2020 cause our family wasnt hurt, and I had to walk away from the zoom call. I haven't attempted communication with any of them since, not that I normally do. Of course none of us died, all rich old white people, most of them retired and able to stay home all day (not that all of them did, I learned about my grandfathers routine and just.. Im honestly surprised no one got it yet. Of course I knew from the beginning if anyone was gonna get it and die, it probably wouldve been me. Hence the 8 months of solitude before the move.
Was the move in August?? Im so unsure about time. Even with 2020 vision.
I tried to date when I moved here. Strictly on tinder. What was the point? On and off testosterone due to the wonders of texas, hadnt changed my body nearly as much as they should've a year after being on them. I look much more handsome now. Im also allowing myself to toss gender aside completely. He/him doesn't mean man, and they/them dont mean nonbinary, so why not mix them since Im?? Not really either.
It wasnt even a thought process like that to start. Much more "this is nice" which I think more gender should be allowed to be. Dont gotta be deep just comfortable.
I wont ever allow my parents to forget what they did. I ended up with three dogs I didnt want (I was so looking forward to not having any dogs) and I ended up taking care of my brother. Again. Its easier without my parents at least. Everything always is. My dogs are even happier. Cami finally isnt anxious 24/7. Again, a sad reminder my childhood wasn't great. Daisy is healthier. Trauma can be stored emotionally or with health issues, often both. I think the cancer dog getting better and?? Surviving and thriving so much longer then the vet said (how good was my old vet?) Is another unfortunate nail in thay proverbial coffin.
Im not as soft and openly loving. Im even more touch starved somehow. Harsher. I still want to choose love and compassion, but Im not letting myself fall into the trap of being so nice people wont be nice to you. Fighting back is something I wont feel shameful about, because it never stopped me from doing it completely anyway.
I was already reaching this on my own though. This was just more coffins, more nails. This didnt need to happen. We know our government let this happen. Its still letting it happen. Im not sure when Im getting my vaccine. My big brothers sick of quarentine and keeps trying to get us to go out. Sometimes I yield, and we go to a park, or the top floor of the parking garage. I get a vegan hotdog from nearby. We talk and laugh and were genuinely just. Boys being boys.
I shouldn't have to deal with parent shit anymore. I do though, especially since two out of three are unemployed and we can really only afford to live here cause of them (they owe me if anything though. Especially with my brother and these animals) I hope I can get a job soon. Or maybe even go back to school. Im lucky I had so much saved up (for top surgery, which I guess wont happen before Im 25 like I really tried for. I wouldve done it before now, but texas waitlists and rules kept holding me up. I literally went to an appointment in dallas, a 4 hour drive, just to found out the surgeon canceled on me for the second time)
Its incredibly depressing, and I know Im lucky to have had that stash. So many people didnt have anything and lost so much. People lost people. Half a million at this point. I remember when it got to 300,000 and I just?? Felt so awful it was so close to how many people we lost to AIDS. Its over that by so many now. It doesn't really stop, does it??
Is that catholic guilt?? Or maybe just irish guilt in general. Is it something I inherited or earned through all the end of the worlds and once in a lifetime recessions Ive been through. Im not sure how many off the top of my head, theyve been coming since I was so small and its always more and more. Im not even catholic anymore. I cant stop being irish though, even though the brits tried (and succeeded. Weve lost a lot. The current royal cotastrophy is bullshit as well, the only person who deserves a royal title is from Meniappolos
My home is decorate all inside for st patrick's day. My big brother loves it so Im going all out, and its def making me feel much more irish then usual (which is a lot Im over half)
I think I just wanted to say Im not the same. I hope I can still be happy an obnoxious is public. I wonder if I remember how
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
the amazing she-ra 5
i am LOVING this first episode. they’re TRULY the underdogs now. people are hiding with magic. they live in tents. they’ve lost their edge. they’re actually leaning into the horrors of war now
Shadowweaver says OOC stupid things but it doesn’t matter because the princesses shut it down satisfactorily. Adora is weighed down by responsibility in a cool way.
Catra is staking out the enemy and weaseling her way in. (yessss)
‘You don’t need to say it! I know. I made that choice. I’m living with the consequences.’ I LOVE THIS ADORA
I LOVE THIS WRITING. Catra and Glimmer are THE greatest pair ever. Glimmer is smart enough to poke right through Catra’s defenses - and NOW they’re in the same situation - Glimmer says so - and immediately the prison wall fades away - and they’re both invited for dinner. THAT DELICIOUS WRITING
i do love how shadowweaver has been this snarky aunt for two seasons now.
Hord Prime shows us Adora in danger and Catra is like; FUCK YOU ADORA’S MINE (TO DESTROY) !!!!
I love Hord Prime’s wonderfully manipulative dinner. And I love glimmer quietly crying and I love Catra being like HRMMMM I DONT LIKE THIS. the subtle animations are so great - the close-ups
the way Catra speaks to Hord Prime - the way she’s really fuckin scared and the way Hord Prime says ‘little sister’. The way they make him seem unbeatable. I LVOE IT.
AND I LOVE THESE VISIONS FOR ADORA
jezus but how few people really live in etheria ?
the propaganda and the tech to boost prime’s image everywhere....ugh it’s delicious. im also happy Entrapta is back and on the good side instead of helping Catra be a bitch to Adora. and im glad the princesses are wary of her.
hahahaah awww Bo came to give adora breakfast and then he panics when she’s lying on the floor. I ALSO LOVE BO AND ADORA TOGETHER BEST
goddamnit Bo YAH! finally somebody who effectively protects someone from the masses. fuck off micah!
Love the princesses acting on their own - love Scorpia mediating, love mermista stepping up, love Entrapta using her .....intelligence
I love how Hord Prime manipulating Glimmer is used to show us more about his empire.
‘i only want to bring peace’ - but also i destroyed all these worlds. how is that...how is that even surface compatible?? like no attempt is made to align those two things.
wait....the heart of etheria will destroy the universe? why??? why is that the assumption. and why...does Hord Prime want that? i....
the comedy of the princesses doing a mission alone is GREAT
IM SO HAPPY THE PRINCESSES GOT TO HIT ENTRAPTA WHERE IT HURTS. now THIS is the right level of comedy versus hurt
the way scorpia rolled to cover frosta in her bulk!
i love how adora is like - HAH sleep is great actually! wow!!
because of the underlying grievances that we EXPERIENCED as audience, this friendship moment actually LANDS
I REINSTATE MY HOORAY!!! (hahahaha god i love scorpia). oh my god Micah saying he trusts glimmer’s friends to save her - fuckin hell - heart squeeze
LOOK AT THAT SHIT. LOOK AT IT!!! Glimmer being angry at Catra - but then recanting and showing vulnerability. Catra showing vulnerability by acquiescing. GOD!!!
‘why did you do it?’ OH GOD ARRGHGHHG THATS SO FUCKING PAINFUL. why does Catra scratch Adora? Because she doesn’t understand - seems to not make the effort to understand!! because she’s never understood that everybody always hurt her - she never fucking saw when it was right in front of her. THat’s even worse in a way than being hurt.
god the fuckin scale. the planet getting bombarded from space....jezus christ.
theres a hallway with light and dark at the end - its implied she goes into the dark - BECAUSE SHE INTENDS TO HIDE FROM WHO FOLLOWS HER
wow she instantly realises he’s hordak. ha!
Catra is being so open with Glimmer. She’s REALLY REALLY! off balance
they have a talking ritual!!!! THEYRE BONDING ABOUT ADORA BEING A DORK!!!!
Catra realises that nothing she was doing on Etheria had any value to her!!!! I LOVE THIS SEASON SO MUCH
I love how Adora gets to be such a badass dork this season!!!! Bo and Adora + Glimmer and Catra are the BEST COMBINATION
godDAMN they made these clones creepy. damn i LOVE Hord Prime!!!
catra/glimmer......tho.....
she pushes her onto the bed and kneels before her, holding her hands. DUDES. MY DUDES!!!! catra is they gayest cat in existence
‘do one good thing in your life!’ - oh OUCH god, you can feel the whole weight of all the hurt and injustice she’s experienced in ‘dont talk to me like you know me!’
HAHAHAHAHAHAH BO losing his mind and Adora being a hilarious himbo is SO GOOD
I LOVE CATRA’S ABSOLUTELY HEARTBREAKING ADORABLE MEMORY AND HALLUCINATIONS
‘im alway going to be your friend’ - ‘i’ll never say sorry to anybody’ GODDD
‘all i do is hurt people, there’s no one left in the entire universe who cares about me’ - a reasonable assumption based on your behaviour except for the fact that Adora has been trying to reach you for 4 FUCKING seasons with hand outstretched
THAT WAS SO FUCKING DRAMATIC I AM IN LOVE !! IN LOVE WITH THEM!!!!
are you fucking SERIOUS - ENTRAPTA MADE AN AB WINDOW IN BO’S SPACE SUIT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
the animation in this goddamn season is CRAZY and INCREDIBLE
I ADORE Catra the self Martyr i ADORE that she’s going to go through the wringer still in Hord Prime’s hands.
THIS SEASON IS WORTH ALL THE REST
are YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME- i HATE THAT SHIT WHY MUST YOU MAR THIS SEASON WITH AN INTERRUPTION OF AN APOLOGY. STOP IT!!! IT’S NOT FUN IT’S NOT SATISFYING IT RUINS THE MOMENT IT WEAKENS THE EMOTION BY DRAGGING IT OUT FUCK!!!!
well i guess that was pretty good with Adora. wish they had made that a little bit longer
i love entrapta. she’s such a perfect element to throw into the mix. and her connections with AI’s are great
that scorpia and swift wind talk is so beautiful. they are also the PERFECT pair. ‘gosh have you ever noticed how many moons we have here? it’s weird.’ HAHAHAHA
they’re visiting a planet that’s been conquered by Prime...
I love how they made Entrapta flirty with her tech ahahahaha
i love how Adora is like: oh??? you’re coming to me??? for emotional advice??? uhhhhhh ok haha nice
I LOVE ADORA
i love swift wind’s drunk history retelling of what’s going on on Etheria - especially his impression of shadowweaver and his batman micah
Bo sure is very bad at forgiveness himself lol
‘well im NOT! running awayy that is. i AM smart’ AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! i love you adora
Adora spewing all her bullshit about Catra to total strangers ahahaha
this was SUCH amazing teamwork!!!
AND THAT MOMENT OF SHE-RA BEING BACK!!!!
GLIMMER ACKNOWLEDGING SHE MADE A MISTAKE AND THAT BO DESERVES TO BE MAD AND MAYBE THINGS WON’T BE THE SAME AGAIN BUT SHE WON’T STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT BETTER AND SHE’LL BE THERE IF HE’S EVER READY
FUCKING TEARS BABEY
jezus christ !! that was good!!! i take it back - it was a stupid interruption (they could have just had Bo respond ‘eh’ at an attempt at apology from glimmer....maybe) but they made the final apology INCREDIBLE
‘i can’t just leave her...’ the voice acting in this is sO GOOD
Catra made her whole plan to keep Adora away from Prime based on the assumption that if Glimmer was in Prime’s hands, then Adora would come to rescue her no matter the danger. So she saved Glimmer. But SHE FAILED TO REALISE THAT ADORA WOULD DO THE SAME FOR HER AHAHAHAHAHAHAA
the amazing thing about these highly tech advanced societies is that none of them have invented security cameras
glimmer getting some ptsd flashes
I KNEW that the heart of etheria was built by the First Ones to fight Hordak. Makes Mara’s decision a bit more ---- hMMMM not as great. Because Hordak has killed countless worlds since!
the hive mind lol. jezus Prime is so terrible.
oh my god the very concepts of Prime when behind a fictional buffer are so archtypically delicious. Catra’s glowy green eyes and full bow. hohhohhohho. that uniform also looks great
so Prime could do this to everyone but he chose to surround himself with clones. goddamn.
oh damn that lean-in, those hands on her neck. hmmmhm. gay
she FLINCHES when Prime lays a hand on her shoulder. DAMN. love it
‘you will give me she-ra’ ---- isn’t that what she’s been offering all along? lol
AND THEN HE LEAVES ADORA WITH A BRAINWASHED CONTROLLED PUPPET CATRA WHO ATTACKS HER
OH ITS SO DELICIOUS
brainwashed Catra is really sexy and disturbing hahahahahaha
this fight is so well choreographed. Catra letting herself almost fall, Adora gathering her into her arms, the scratch across the back, the damn knee into the midriff (OUCH), the dangling her in turn.
‘i always hated that guy in particular - and also all the other guys i hit on the way in.’ LOLOLOLOL
THE CHEEK TOUCH - THE TEARS AND SMILE - THE GREEN EYES AND THE BACKHAND AFJLDJFDSJFLKDSJSDFKSDFJ
‘you’re such an idiot!’
‘yeah! i know!’
I LOVE THEM AAAAAAAAAAAAA ITS SO TRUE AHAHAHAHAHAHAI LOVE THEM
‘im going to take you home’
‘promise?’
NOELLE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO ME
Adora watches Catra probably die and fall off into a endless pit. JUMPS IN AFTER HER ONE SECOND LATER
Prime really did miscalculate lol - his ship’s been destroyed by one stab at a server.
CATRA ALMOST DYING AND ADORA TRANSFORMING WITH GLOWY EYES GODDAMN!!!! HOLDING CATRA INTO HER ARMS BRIDAL STYLE. NEW OUTFIT!! WALKING INTO THE SHIP LIKE A BOSS. AND HEALS HER. HEY ADORA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND SHE FUCKING
PURRS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
all the fucking crying is so good
‘I kNOW YOU ALL HATE ME!” ‘I NEVER HATED YOU’ ‘Then you’re dumber than I thought’ HAHAHAHAHA i love how Catra cannot accept Adora’s friendship because she cannot forgive herself. but Adora never fucking gets it because she has the emotional intelligence of a crab!!!! the problem is that Adora is the exact shape of Catra’s heart - which is one big open wound. And if she presses - all she does is cause hurt
Catra is so adorable looking god.....
SPINERELLA AND NETOSSA KISSED!!!!!!!! awwwwwww they’ve been so cute for so long and they only got more and more screentime and Awwwww
Not-Hordak and ‘dehydrated protein slaw’ AhAHAHAHA
how did they find us? UHHH THERES A CHIP IN CATRA’S SPINE????
ADORA TELLING CATRA WHAT’S UP!! YES! Catra in a corner. Catra on her damn KNEES. ADORA BLUSHING AT HOLDING HER HAND
their first impulse is to hold each other at the ship shaking.
CATRA IS BLUSHING LOOKING AT ADORA TRANSFORM
SHE-RA CAN LITERALLY FLY THROUGH SPACE - well. make matter from light, breathe in a vacuum, jumpt from one asteroid to another....
I AM GLIMMER IN THIS: YEAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
Catra is very lucky that her biggest likely hater is already on her side: glimmer
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SPINERELLAAAA. what a fuckin bait and punch goddamn! making them so cute and then foreshadowing it perfectly and then BAM
CATRA IS CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO MESS WITH ADORA BY LITERALLY JUMPING INTO ADORA’S LAP
fjadslkfasdjflkadjfsja
CATRA IS
PURRING
catra is so effortlessly cool sitting in the window sill
i am actually loving that they have a not-Hordak with them. it humanises those clones a lot
this prince has farsight but they NEVER thought to recruit him BEFORE???
FUCKIN - I LOVE how spinerella and netossa have gotten so much more screentime - relevant to the plot and also revealing their characters. i wish we’d got this from the start!
well now i ship perfuma and scorpia lolololol
HAHAHAHAHA i LOVE this Seahawk and Mermista hiding behind a bar because of ex victims skjsfajfklds
Prince Peekabloo has an AMAZING design, but also he must be a fake. IT MUST BE DOUBLE TROUBLE. double trouble has TASTE
MERMISTA LOOKS SO COOL IN THAT OUTFIT - but also especially chipped and in shadows. they do love chipping people’s love interests
SCORPIA SACRIFICING HERSELF TO SAVE PERFUMA. jezus christ so much love interest drama suddenly wow
‘happy anniversary’ that is HEARTBREAKING
what a great ending to a very silly episode. that’s the balance. a last message from the last soldier standing...
‘WHY DOES SPACE HATE ME SO MUCH!?!?!’ hahahahaah
Catra’s fingers shake......
‘take it from somebody who’s defeated you guys, like, a lot’ AAHAHAHA
FINALLY CATRA IS ON THEIR SIDE TO BE THE SMARTS IN TEH ROOM
ADORA LOOKS SO BADASS IN THAT SPACESHIP CHAIR
chipping everyboddy so they’re like zombies was a great story idea.
catra upset at her signs of upset. CUTE
why the FUCK is Adora’s hair out of her spacesuit ahahahahahahaha. IM SO GLAD THAT BO AGREES WITH ME ON THE ADORABLENESS OF CATRAS HELMET HAHAHAHAHAA
catra is happy to see adora laugh again.... : ‘)
CATRA JUST CLAWED THROUGH FIVE CENTIMETERS OF STEEL????!?!?!?!
ADORA IS BLUSHING AAHAHAHAHAHAAAA
I LOVE how Catra is like, WHAT THE FUCK at having lost to these people
Entrapta trying to deal with Wrong-Hordak in existential crisis is a hilarious premise
THE ANGRIER YOU GET THE CUTER YOU ARE!!! I LOVE BO
oh wow! a first ones colony! very cool! this whole planet works against intruders and plays tricks on them. i do like how first ones are definitely like, still imperial shitlords like subtly. i love how Wrong-Hordak has a realisation arc in the background.
HOLY SHIT THIS IS CREEPY
CATRA DISARMED THIS CAT CREATURE WITH HER CUTE SNEEZE AHAHAHAHA
CATRA IS PETTING A CAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHAHAHAHA EVERY SINGLE THING WE COULD HAVE EVER WANTED IS COMING TRUE
catra is working on not lashing out :’) <= literally adora and also me
Melog is so ADORABLE and imprinted on Catra and LOVES ADORA and AGHGHGHG
I love how Adora can make her eyes glow on command
Castaspella was blushing at Shadowweaver being so close lolololol. wow this is the first time Castaspella has been interesting. ‘and stop me, if i take the power for myself’ i love aunty shadowweaver.
AAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAH WHAT HAHAAHHAAAAHA Catra notices she’s holding Adora’s hand and goes ARGGH and doesn’t just take her hand back but throws it away ahhaahaha. Adora doesn’t even respond. that was so hilarious for some reason.
GLIMMER KISSING CATRA’S CHEEK HELLO??? HELLO?????????
‘is what i would have said before i joined you. go team’ hahahaa
‘you’re wearing hooded cloaks. that’s highly suspicious’ AHAHAHAHAHA fucking meta
I LOVE HOW ADORA IS THE ‘oh god my fuckin friends blowing our cover great’ person here
MELOG IS ALREADY STEALING MUSHROOMS FOR CATRA TO EAT AHAHAHAHA I LOVE THEM
Spinerella and Netossa are so BADASS and i love their fight. it’s so deliciously painful and cool hehehehehe
so the only person im fighting here is!.....my own wife...
I LOVE THEM
spinerella is so op lololol - why did she barely do anything for them when they were still fighting hordak
wrong hordak is so fucking cute ahahahahaha
goddamn that reunion was touching and funny at the same time. and i can actually believe that Prime is having trouble with this slippery team of magic users
I love Netossa’s analysis of the princesses weaknesses. Adora: can’t act to save her life. also extreme hair envy with she-ra
BUT GLIMMER: crippling self-doubt mixed with overwhelming hubris AHAAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA
OH MY GOD SHE SPRITZED CATRA WITH WATER JFDKLDFWDSFKSDFKJLDSJFJDSFKDSLKFSDLFJLKFLKDJFLKS AHAAHAHAAHA
PERFUMA DON”T BE A BITCH TO CATRA. (even though yeah Catra did treat Scorpia bad) she’s right you need to fuckin go for the neck (this episode is gonna show us that you need to damage the chip AND get through to scorpia and it’s going to take catra and perfuma ofc)
awwwww glimmer and bo.... bo is really worried about his dad :’( . this is the first time ive found myself shipping bo and glimmer.....the way he sighs into her arms, turns his face into her neck. Yes....
AWWW CATRA AND ADORA CHALLENGING EACH OTHER AGAIN AWWWW
BO’S DADS LEFT HIM A CLUE IN A FUCKING DAD JOKE ahahaahahahahaah
perfuma is really getting on my nerves here. ‘we dont throw tanks at our friends’ uhhhh shes trying to kill you. just let perfuma get electrocuted adora
AH THEY FINALLY GIVE AN ORIGIN STORY FOR ‘GRAYSKULL’! ha! i do love how they keep elaborating on the First Ones as tyrants as well
hmm perfuma was right i guess. i didnt really like that development. urgh god perfuma is so grating lol..
i wonder how shadowweaver and catra are gonna....deal with each other....
hah. shadowweaver tries to weasel in with Adora again. but Adora won’t stand for it again....
Melog literally acts out Catra’s emotions and jumps adora playfully. hehehehe
shadowweaver is such a fucking bitch. i wonder if we’ll ever get her to admit guilt or apologise
no adora. you have to fucking defend catra to shadowweaver. THAT is what you have to do now that you can!
SHE JUST JUMPED INTO FIRE FOR ADORA
shadowweaver preying on Adora and Catra again goddddd. let this be an episode in which they finally shuck her off. Adora fucking THINK, the only reason you could transform in the first place was BECAUSE of Catra.
YEAHHHHH CATRA!!!!!!!! GETTING ALL THE INFO BEFORE ADORA GETS MANIPULATED INTO SOMETHING SHE DIDN’T CHOOSE. naturally she still chooses to do it.
Melog lies half on top of Adora while Catra watches her.... god fuckin hell Melog being an extension of Catra’s feelings is so fucking AMAZING
holy FUCK that confrontation. (i love how every confrontation between adora and catra starts in roughhousing - their language is extremely physical). this is the softer version of catra’s and adora’s dynamic. Catra loves Adora and she wants Adora to choose HER, LIFE WITH HER. ‘what do you want?’ (WHAT ABOUT ME??) But Adora always chooses some higher hero purpose over her. and she doesn’t want to watch Adora die....
‘i dont have to watch it happen...’
god fuckin hell this season.
shadowweaver BELIEVES that she did the right things - of course. and that’s fascinating. and I love that Adora finally totally truly was like: YOU RUIN PEOPLE AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU. fuck yeah!
so when was the moment that Adora couldn’t become she-ra anymore? think it’s when she lost track of Catra....
I love Melog - I love how Catra cannot hide from her feelings anymore - at all.
the way glimmer asks adora ‘are you scared?’ ugh MY HEART
i love martyrs. i fucking LOVE martyrs.
oh my god hallucination Catra touching foreheads with Adora.....
EVERYTIME Glimmer just straight up shows Catra affection? that’s some good shit. i thought we were gonna have Glimmer going after Catra for her mother’s death at one point but no....not at all. and i dont mind it
GLIMMER SAID I LOVE YOU TWICE TO BO AND THEN BO SAID IT BACK AND KISSED HER DSFKSDLBJDS FOREHEAD !!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE MARA!!!
the fights this season have been SO! GOOD!
i love how they’ve set up that Glimmer is a fucking POWERHOUSE. she can turn the tide of battle in a blink!
naturally they pit Micah against Glimmer. jfc this poor family....
there is something important about Prime not remembering Mara....
SHE BEAT MICAH SHE BEAT HIM!!!! WALKING RIGHT THROUGH HIS STORM OF DARK MAGIC.
SCORPIA CRADLED BO LIKE A BABY
SHADOWWEAVER SAVING CATRA? FOR ONCE???? FOR ONCE CHOOSING CATRA OVER POWER????? FUCK THAT’S CATHARTIC EVEN IF IT WAS ONLY TO GET ADORA TO THE HEART
catra has such a soft heart really. she still, after everything, loves shadowweaver. god....
SHE SAID SHE WAS PROUD OF CATRA. SHE --- SHE - SHE SACRIFICED HERSELF. GOD THE VOICEACTING FOR CATRA WHEN SHE - ADORA FALLING TO HER KNEES. THEIR PSEUDO MOTHER... AGHLDJDWFJJDSLF
FUCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKk
EVERY SINGLE LINE IS SO GOOD, so well-acted. the ‘im ready’ the way she says ‘catra’ like she can’t take anything anymore
i couldn’t write anything for the whole rest of that i was just covering my mouth with my hands
The fuckiN KISS! the look of PURE LOVE on ADoRA”S FACE
which in the back of my head - they cannot actually cut that in any way - it’s impossible to cut
adora with those blue eyes in the blaze, the magic is beautiful adora excising prime from hordak’s mind (WOW), adora and catra touching foreheads and the slight PURR you can hear, adult bo and glimmer (lookin so nice), adult catra (LOOKING SO HANDSOME in her prom-y outfit,) Glimmer chasing Catra, just, GOD, THE UTENA FUCKING REFERENCE, the way they say they love each other, my GOD, Scorpia being like woah perfuma you look nice, MY GOD MY GOD MY GOD THEM GOING TO SPREAD MAGIC TO THE UNIVERSE GOD!!!!!!
every single thing in this season was worth 4 seasons of enjoyable, entertaining, interesting, frustrating and meh. WOAH! WOAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#she ra#i have been BLOWN! AWAY!!! EVERYTHING WAS WORTH IT#my stuff#vidi#THiS WAS AN EXPERIENCE#OF EPIC PROPORTIONS
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
i hate my step sister <3
#she just shows up randomly which wouldn’t be a big deal if she 1) liked my mom or 2) liked me#anyway she’s got two sons that she let’s do whatever they want#and they’re allowed to treat their dogs like shit so they do it to my animals#and I told the oldest not very nicely to leave belle alone because her toes are broke#and my sisters dumbass husband goes ‘/it/ caNT be that hurt’#and I said SHE has broken toes.#and my stepsister said I’m rude#THEYRE STILL FUCKING HERE GO AWAY!!!! LEAVE MY CAT ALONE!!!!!!!!!!#AND LET ME ADOPT UR DOGS WHILE IM AT IT
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Nightcall (2/2)
[ao3 Link] . [Part One]
Megamind drops out of the media. Though the media doesn’t drop him.
The spike in his frequent fights with Metro Man has done a complete 360, much to the relief of the locals and to the disappointment of tourists. The news and media alike have leaped onto his sudden change like scavengers to fresh offal. Talk of his recent rendezvous, or lack thereof, are on everyone’s mind.
“He’s a maniac,” some talk-show host said into the speaker, hunched over a desk looking quite aggressive. The screen of the television baths the blue alien in a dull electronic glow illuminated his reflective eyes. He frowns at the person but having no good point to disagree. He’s just offended someone would be so bold to jump into the obvious.
“He’s a maniac, and Metro Man has been taking his sweet-ass time in trying to bring this alien-fuck down. Sure, sure, all-righteous and no-killing and what not. I’m sorry but he’s just pious.” Not just ballsy, but controversial. “My only guess as to why Megamind has abruptly vanished like a phantom is because our city’s hero finally grew a pair and kicked his skinny blue ass into the next life. And by God will none of us miss him. Look at what a shit-show he’s turned this city into—“
Megamind turns the TV off by throwing the remote so hard that it shatters the screen.
Sighing, he crawls out of his little nest of blankets and decides it’s time. He’s been procrastinating enough; he’s done nothing for the past two weeks and it’s getting to his head.
His plan to tell Roxanne started out sounding like the only resort to fixing him and his dumb extraterrestrial make-up, but he’s been pushing it off since he got home the last time he broke out of prison. Who knew he could really raise some hell by simply doing nothing.
Roxanne has made few appearances on television since her last kidnapping. Sadly enough, due to his absence, she had little to do (at least, to the public eye). She was the main reporter, focusing on Metro City’s star inhabitancies. Metro Man had nothing much to do besides helping little old ladies or getting cats from trees—not worthy of making an emergency announcement on the news.
And since he hasn’t seen her, he’s going into such a stump he’s made several near attempts to just show up at her place with no spray. How would she respond?
Well, he’d find out tonight.
He filled the invisible car up with his home-made energy source, making sure it wouldn’t run on empty. Tonight he was going out, far enough to reach the boonies.
And he wouldn’t be alone.
Megamind, unsure of how she’d react but knowing this would be practically life or death for him, grabbed a few essentials. The de-gun. Knock-out spray. Rope. You know. The usual. This had to go as smooth as possible for him to get serious with her, to assure her he’d never bother her again as long as he got this off his chest so he could wallow in misery with a peace of mind.
So, making sure she’s home with the affirmation from one of his spy-bots, Megamind packs up his things in the car and zooms out of the Lair before Minion can so much as ask “Where are you going, Sir?”
When he gets to her building, he uses a brainbot to fly him up to her balcony. She never locks it (Oh, Roxanne, I do question your sanity sometimes), so when he pushes the glass doors open, he enters a relatively quiet domain.
The lights over her tiny kitchen are on, illuminating her one-person apartment. Sniffing, and catching the remnants of her perfume, he follows it until—
“Mega—“ Before he gives her time to even finish saying his self-given name, he whips around and gives her a reasonably large dose of spray. She gasps, eyes roll up, and her body drops in a dead weight. Flinging out an arm he catches her, unable to keep his hungry eyes from the expanse of her pale, bare neck. Megamind splays his fingers across her bare, marveling at seeing her for the first time in weeks. It’s been too long.
Tonight she’s wearing civvies. A pair of dark wash skinny jeans and a white peasant blouse with little red and blue flowers along the neck and sleeves. She’s missed a barber appointment, he thinks, as her hair is exactly two centimeters longer than usual. Her hair’s also a bit damp, curling ever so slightly at the very ends. She not wearing makeup, either, letting him see all of her little brown freckles dusting her cheeks, like little stars in a milky white setting. He licks his lips.
Megamind ties her wrists and covers her mouth with a cheap duck tape. He’s never taped her mouth shut before, but for once he doesn’t want her screaming or complaining. And despite every Hollywood movie where the bad guy tapes the victim’s mouth shut, it’s very possible to remove it without the use of hands.
He carries her out bridal style, whistling for the brainbot to bring him back to the car. Once on the ground, he tucks her into the passenger seat and pulls the belt on, all before getting in himself.
And then he drives. He drives for a long time, content for the moment to sit in silence beside the soft rumble of the car’s engine.
Swerving through Metro City’s night traffic, the city lights gleaming in this never sleeping place, he keeps his head low as he goes, so stressed he finds himself clutching the wheel so hard it threatens to snap. The leather of his gloves scrunches.
They (he; she’s still knocked out) drive out of the midnight city into the rolling countryside, past the lake and past the forests. Lush green hillsides and vast farm lands. He can hear the road scratch under the car tires as asphalt turns into gravel and dirt.
After about forty minutes of driving, he can tell Roxanne is beginning to stir. Quickly, he pulls up beside a huge oak tree in the middle of no where, and void of another living soul for miles.
Well. There is a cow outside but it’s like, ten feet away minding its own business.
As the car comes to a stop, he turns the key and all is instantly quiet.
With a soft grunt, Roxanne squirms in her seat and consciousness slowly comes to. He doesn’t watch her, choosing to star at his bony knees and twiddle his thumbs. All he can hear is her movements, and his own rapidly beating heart.
“M…Mmm?” Her eyes slowly open, blinking in the dim atmosphere. Her eyes then open wider, and she looks around for the usual sights of a kidnapping. Seeing as they’re only in the car, and her mouth is taped, she abruptly begins to struggle.
“Wait!” He says frantically, trying to calm her like one would do for a wild horse. “It’s okay! This isn’t a kidnapping! Well, technically it is but it’s just us—“
“MMM!?” She starts to work her mouth through the tape in earnest, tongue visibly trying to lick at the stickiness.
“Please, wait! This is—I just want to tell you something. Something… important. I promise on my ancestors that you have full permission and more to beat me outside but… please. Just listen to me. Please, Miss Ritchi.”
Her struggling stops, and she turns to him with a suspicious glare. He bows his head, flushing in shame. She hates me.
Though she’s trapped him under an intense stare, snaring him more than he had with her, Roxanne goes still as if awaiting for whatever stupid thing he’s got to say to her.
“I… want to apologize, for my behavior two weeks ago. It was unforgivable.”
“Mm.”
“But—I… I…”
She glares harder. Ashamed of himself, he turns his stare to the dashboard.
“I love you.”
He doesn’t look up to catch her reaction, but she doesn’t respond verbally.
“I love you, I love you, I love you.” He bangs his forehead against the steering wheel with each confession, feeling all the pint up emotions in him pouring out like water from a broken dam. It burns his insides with glorious relief and bittersweet shame all at once. Yet it keeps flowing. “And I’m so, so sorry. It’s—not my choice, Miss Ritchi. I can’t help it. My b-body…Ah—s—“ he stutters, so anxious it’s close to making him piss himself. He can feel it claw at this throat, threatening tears. “My species… we d-don’t have crooches, like a human. We… fall in love. Hard. And once. Only once. Once and only with one person. And that’s it. We mate for life, like doves. Or beavers. Wolves. I-It doesn’t matter. But once the relationship is formed that’s it. Cheating or finding a second love if the other leaves or dies is purely an earthly concept. My own p-parents, they—they only had eyes for each other. Sex or romance wasn’t even a concept I understood before I met y—…. I didn’t chose you, Miss Ritchi. I didn’t want this to happen. You don’t deserve this. I’ve already turned your life into a living hell, and for that I cannot apologize enough, even onto my grave. My transgressions are unforgivable. Yet, even being here on Earth I cannot…. There is no place for me. My planet, it’s… I’m all that’s left. And Minion. I didn’t think I could possibly imprint on anyone, much less a human, in this way. Yet… I am so sorry. It’s all my fault. I should have known…”
She’s fidgeting ever so softly beside him, he hears the crinkle of the tape.
He doesn’t realize he’s crying until he takes in a staggering breath, wet tears rolling down his sharp face and trickling on his lips. Salty like the sea.
He can’t bring himself to speak again in fear of weeping like a damn baby, but he feels as vulnerable as one in the moment. Weak. Childish. Pathetic.
The car falls into a silence, with his shaky breaths and a light breeze rolling against the windows. Other than that, it’s as quiet as a void. He glances at her from the corner of his eye, and sees her staring outside at the cow as if it had done something personal to disrespect her.
They sit in silence for a long time.
“I’m done,” he suddenly says.
He hears her move around again.
“I’m… I’m done. With this business,” he gestures to himself in general, to the car, to his gun. “I mean, there are things you don’t know about. Things I’ve done behind cameras. In the underworld. I’ve committed enough sins to last multiple lifetimes over. There’s blood on my hands. Miss Ritchi. Like you wouldn’t believe. And… I’m going to give it up. I can’t keep doing this…
“This such a archaic concept for me. Aah, uh, did you know… Of course you wouldn’t… The males, sometimes even the females, of my kind have to… catch the other sometimes. To express that they feel the same way. Avoids miscommunication or misplaced feelings. My own father… had to sneak into my mother’s household as teenagers to propose to her. It’s—I didn’t even realize it until recently I was courting you! Unconsciously! I’m—God I’m so sorry, Miss Ritchi. I just need to go away. “
She lets out a muffled sound again.
“I’m moving from this place,” he looks around at the vast farmland, the dot of the city in the distance, reflected by his rear-view mirror. “Romania sounds nice. I do a lot of business over there. Lots of forests and hillsides where there’s no one for miles. I can’t bother you or anyone out th—”
Roxanne suddenly spits.
Looking over to her in surprise, he sees she has vanquished the duck tape and has rolled it up in her mouth to spit it onto the dashboard. Turning on one hip, she faces him with such a glower it chills him to the very bone.
“Don’t. You. Dare,” she hisses.
He shrinks in his seat.
“Don’t you dare drop this on me and say you’re just gonna leave!” She yells, pulling against her taped wrists. He opens his mouth to let out a string of never ending apologies, but—she’s starting to cry, he sees, much to his absolute horror. Has he truly upset her this bad? He really was a monster.
“How—you stupid, stupid man,” she cries out, and suddenly—he sees her raise her arms, still taped by the wrist, and he honestly thinks he’s about to be hit when—
She loops her arms around his big blue head and latches onto his neck, yanking him closer and making him clumsily fall onto the stick shift as—
Her mouth is on his. So hard do their mouths come together that their teeth clack, faces clashing together he barely has time to process what’s happening. Gasping, hands wild and unsure in the air as she seemingly tries to suck his soul out, but—he knows what’s happening, mildly, but a bigger part of him is convinced he’s dreaming or hit his head.
The feeling of her lips touching his, though, is electrifying. Every nerve in his body begins to sing and scream all at once, overwhelming him with a sensation override. She moans and presses closer, both of them awkward and clumsy as they clutch at the other from opposite seats. Clutched… he feels his hand involuntarily grab her waist, holding his close but terrified he’s mixing the signals. It feels so so so good, though, and—
She pulls away before he can even realize he was responding back, albeit unsurely. Arms locked around his neck, he mentally curses himself for tying her up. But. It felt like the thing to do at the time.
“You listen to me you son of a bitch,” she viciously spats. “You come to my place, ten’o’freakin’clock at night, and tell me you love me only then to say you’re leaving? What the actual hell!?”
He attempts to pull back, hide in his shell, run away from her furious reprimand, but his neck is still trapped by her arms. Shit. Really a bad decision to tie her up. The alien’s prepared to say something, anything, to show how much of a lowly creature he is in her light, but all that comes out of his throat are choked warbles and whimpers. “I—“
She sniffles.
He meets her eyes in surprise to see two glassy blue orbs meeting his. Frantically, he try to console the weepy female by nervously patting her back. “Ah—M-Miss Ritchi—“
“You were such an A-hole,” she says, sobbing. “Megamind, for once you were actually cruel. It scared me.”
“Oh, oh my dear—No, no, my sweet, no! I wasn’t—“ he swallows. “I wasn’t trying to be cruel. I was just frustrated. With myself. With my instincts. I—if I behaved any less I would have made a fool of myself.”
“Well, you already did that by yelling at me, you cabbage.”
“I-I’m sorry.”
“You made me feel like a whore the last kidnapping.”
He remembers that dress she wore. Wine red, rimmed in black. His... comment to it. Megamind bows his head and clenches his whole body. “I am sorry.”
“And you made me worry about you. I haven’t seen you in weeks.”
Confused, he looks up at her. Roxanne then pulls at her arms and lets him go from between them. Gesturing with her wrists, he catches her drift and pulls out his trusted butterfly knife and whips it out, glad to have something to do with a tool he’s familiar with. Nothing else felt familiar; alien and strange.
As the plastic finally rips away, her skin safe from his sharp little friend, she wraps her hands around his neck and yanks him to her again. Eyes wide, he numbly feels her kiss him a few quick, consecutive times before—
She slaps him in the chest.
He’s nearly got a concussion from how bad the whiplash is.
“Is it true?” Roxanne demands. He’s unable to speak. “Is it true? Do you love m—“
“Yes. Yes, I love you. A million times over.”
This little woman shakes her head, eyes glistening with something he can’t begin to understand. He feels like he’s drowning, with a weight tied to his feet to prevent him to swimming to the surface. He can't breath. She then grabs onto his shoulders. Shaking her head again, she says, “Then don’t go to Romania. Don’t leave Metro City. This place is our-your home.”
“Miss Ritchi, I can’t… stay around you anymore,” his voice breaks. “I can’t without—“
Her lips are on his again.
Shocked, but rapidly trying to learn this new skill she’s apparently trying to teach him, he responds as best he can. Periwinkle blue to unpainted pink, their lips press against each other, seining the warmth and the wet of the other’s mouth. He once saw this activity between lovers an unsanitary and strange thing, but now he understands its meaning. His lips are quite sensitive, and this kissing sets his body to flame, scrambling towards something he can’t seem to catch.
When she pulls away, he follows her, not wanting this connection to end. A tiny bead of saliva snaps between them as their lips depart.
“For such a genius, you can be unbelievably dense.” She cups his face. “I love you Megamind."
What.
"God, I love you. And your behavior, this month—I thought you’d finally lost it. Or just got tired of me.”
His first instinct is to respond yes, yes he has lost it, completely and utterly, but—
“You—you what—“
Roxanne shakes her head again, this time smiling so wide that it nearly reaches her ears, all pearly whites on display for him. She lets him go, finally, letting him think straight. Which is bad because his brain runs in about five hundred directions. Blinking rapidly to disperse the tears in her wet lashes, she continues with, “I’m glad you told me this. Because—I was considering on moving as well.”
He jolts in his seat.
“I sometimes get job offers in other places. This time… I had an offer in Liverpool.”
“Leeverpul!? What’s can you find in Leeverpul?”
“I like the British accent. And it’s far, far away from here.”
Hapless, he stares at his knees.
“Hey,” she pulls him out of his stupor. “Look at me. That’s better. Now. That stuff you said about… imprinting on me? Is that true, too?”
“All of it,” he breaths.
Roxanne nods her head and leans back against the leather seats. “Then listen to me. I love you with all of my heart. I have for a long time, Megamind. So it hurt me, so, so much with how much of a dick you were suddenly turning into. You may as well have stabbed me in the heart.” He winces. “And then you just up and vanished. Gone. Everyone is talking about you!”
He can’t believe what she’s saying. It’s nothing like he ever imagined happening in any probable outcome of this. She… actually… returned his feelings? What??? What witchcraft is this!? He really must’ve bumped his head hard!
“I... know. I see the news. I see my lack of an appearance in the public eye has given you less work… Ah, are you sleeping better?”
She looks at him in confusion.
“You were always falling asleep.”
Roxanne lets out a loud sigh. “I know… I know…”
“Why.” It isn’t a question.
“I always thought you were just a bit ol’sweetheart that grew up on the wrong side of the law. I fall in love with you a little harder every time you goof around like that. I hate that you’re always destroying something or trying to start a fight, but it was a little endearing.” She lets out another loud exhale. “And then you started acting like I was shit under your shoe.”
“N—!“
She raises a hand, and he immediately goes silent.
"So I started drinking. Tried to drink the pain away. But that doesn't work," her voice breaks a bit.
He wants to bang his head against the wall.
“And I hate that you dragged me out here,” she motions toward the countryside. “You don’t have to ship yourself off to God knows where, but stopping the kidnapping would be nice. Even if it’s apart of your… culture.”
“Whatever-Whatever you desire," he swears reverently.
“What I desire,” she says, placing a hand on his knee, “is for you to take me home.”
He nods, expecting that answer.
“And I want you to come up with me. We’re gonna have a talk.”
“O-kay...?”
Suddenly she leans over again and presses his lips to his cheek. With his breath hitching, because its still a lovely, foreign feel to him, she adds, “And then I’m going to show you how much I love you, too.”
“W—“
“I know you, Megamind. I can see it in your face. Now. Take us home, sweetheart.” She kisses his lips again.
This time he knows what to do, and copies her actions better than before. It feels like fireworks.
He’s glad he told her.
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tryna by Cancer moon
Before Young T went to bed he poured a glass of water and looked out the kitchen window to his backyard and noted how the snow made 3:00 A.M. look like 6:00 P.M.. Only difference being that if he stepped outside with his glass of water to the seeming twilight he wouldn’t be able to hear the rush-hour traffic like he usually could if it was Friday and 6:00 P.M.. Young T didn’t bother going outside because the snow was still falling a little and it’d be there when he woke up. And the neighborhood would still be silent, as it always was.
Young T woke up and his fan was still humming its white noise which he needed to sleep at night even though it was January and his dad was reluctant to leave the heat on over night. The small fan sat on his dresser and was pointed away from his bed towards his window which emitted a sharper and more blinding afternoon light than what he was used to. He checked his phone for the time, it was about noon - about the time where his parents bedroom door would open and their TV would blast the local news and his persian cat, Jo Jo, would meow at his door from which would force him out of bed to open the door so Jo Jo could jump up on his bed to sleep on his pillow from which he would either start his day or keep doing nothing. This time he laid back down, idly on his bed, with the covers pulled over his head to lessen the effects of his slight cat allergy. Jo Jo had a flat face and was grey and fat, and he occupied the entire pillow. Young T thought of how he wanted to trade lives with Jo Jo.
Young T couldn’t fall back to sleep, so he looked at his phone. He bireifly looked at worldstarhiphop, Twitter, then Instagram.
Then he went to bed with a head ache and woke up in college.
9/27/17 wednesday
Tycho: excuse me, hey, getting along just fine, I see?
Yolandra: hey, and yeah, sort of, just studying, whats going on with you
T: Nothing, the usual, i guess, being responsible, trying not to offend anyone.
Y: Oh but you're so innocent. If anyone's offended its on them, not you.
T: But my presence alone, I dont know, like I'm out of place or something. And I just want to tell people,
Yeah, so, I know how strange it is, me being here and all.
Y: You're a free spirit amongst prisoners. That was my favorite part about getting to know you.
Tycho: After all these years, not for a second did i think you were right for me. And thats why i liked you. Cus I'm crazy.
Yolandra: thats okay? what do you mean?, i want to get inside your head again.
T: [pause] Most people wouldnt understand.
Y: Don't be too cool for school. Im not most people. If I knew what was good for me, I'd have cut ties with you a long time ago. But im a crazy bitch too. Havent you realized?
T: Yes. Youre highly psychic when it comes to "free spirits" like me - and you, though maybe, "lost soul" would be a better term for me. Though I dont mind being lost. It keeps things interesting.
Anyway, you should spend your energy on solving world hunger than worrying about me.
Y: dont be so difficult. catching vibes isnt easy you know? coming for your type. Who knows, maybe youre worth it.
Tycho: well, your the first to try me like this. im mysterious for a reason.
Yolandra: And do you know why exactly?
T: Thats for me to decide.
Y: It's so damn frustrating. But I guess some things are better left unsaid.
T: Most people wouldnt understand that, what youre saying. Indescribable feelings we know happened but fall short in explaining. That sort of thing.
Y: I call those. "You had to be there" moments.
Tycho: Honestly i never gave up on you, only myself, thinking you were different from my dream girl.
it took months for me to realize that but when i did the only thing i wanted to do was forget i ever met you.
Yolandra: than what?
T: the rest of these simple people that surround us, they see in a way thats opposite of what i am.
Y: how convenient it must be. to blame your problems on people you dont even know. and just say "fuck it." I envy you.
T: just my luck haha. of being born into myself, my personality forgive me, i dont mean to be such a downer. thats my ego talking
Y: you had to be there
T: where?
Y: in my memories.
T: it matters that much to you?
Y: if I could find you in a crowd, just to say something, anything, even if i have to scream it in your ear, then you'd know how much it means to me.
Tycho: I'll be waiting for you to say hola.
9/30/17 saturday
In the midst of an obnoxious trap beat I remember what my grandpa used to tell me.
It's the harsh realities of life that stick with us the most. A dream is only a dream until you make it come true.
Never hit a women no exceptions." He would say to a 7 year old me. Now I wish I had the balls back then to tell him that his strict army ass
probably never had a dream that went beyond what he already knew. Like revisiting the same shitty cloud of meaningless thoughts
every night till you reincarnate into someone who revisits a slightly less shitty cloud over and over until they become someone like me,
who lives on the cloud everyone strives to be, forgetting those elvish looking folks of the below who never leave the house
except to get groceries. There's comes a point in life where you just gotta be honest with yourself, and say hey, i just dont match the freqeuncy anymore.
It's okay. I can still pretend like that one MGMT song, but im fading away. Fuck.
I get naseous and imagine a cop coming around the corner which kills my vibe for a second
so I take my headphones off, spit on my finger tip, ash the blunt, and walk to my dorm.
I'm in water so muddy that the surface is all I have to cling onto. What lies beneath is my past, housing the memories like demons.
Of course, her face, would be in the middle. Falling more faintly in detail as I wake up sober and go to sleep high and dream nonsense that
somehow doesnt go away like the usual forgotten dream you usually wouldnt give a second thought to otherwise but this morning
my head feels foggy and theres a vague recollection of a search going on but I dont know what
it's for and my chances of knowing diminish as I go deeper into the day.
A search, it's on repeat, like my brain is an actual TV. Thats probably a normal thought to have, though I've never heard it in real words.
"Is my brain a TV." I say to myself.
if you can call it that. but those take the shape of monsters of which, as if I had no choice, I find myself preparing for so when the moment really matters,
I can either go down in a blaze of glory or come out on top like the badass I imagine myself to be.
All I know is that I was born and now I have to live.
Maybe because my past is so glaringly depicted onto a person I refuse to acknowledge. All that shit was a dream.
The only thing that matters is the present, right? Bill Nye the Science Guy would agree with that.
Back in elementary whenever we had a sub for the day, a cart would roll in and thats how you knew.
I watched his show in elementary school, when we had a substitute teacher.
Those were the best days. I had no worries then, able to speak freely with no inhibitions as if duality
had nothing to latch its mechanical claws onto. Wait, I'm thinking about the past again. And thats going way back.
Fuck! Okay.. On your feet soldier! That baby momma drama dont fly out here in the real world.
out here it's the winners and the losers, haves and the have-nots, thats the way it is.
We're here to endure anxiety. I dont care about this slave shit. I think im gonna drop out.
These fucking people bro, I shouldve known better than to come here.
Deep down in the recesses of my highly realized capacity for recognizing everyday objects I'm hearing the voice my computer makes.
It just so happens that I'm a little different from everyone else.
I see things. Feel them.
Some are expressed. Others proccessed. Though most get put away for later. These things I speak of is all they'll
ever be to
Some bad. Some good. But in the end I understand the root cause is nothing and thats where I pretty much exist anyway.
In between any and all things, including people. At least that what it feels like.
So although I may come off as shy and maybe a bit soft to the average layperson I aint no bitch and I wont hesitate to put my body on the line to
make some headway when it comes to cementing my place as a savage demon in the halls of said layperson's memory bank.
Someone who is wise would recognize the virtue of my conviction
It is only because I must prepare for that singular moment,
an unknown point in the fabric of time and space. To where if theyre not careful, a life's worth of energy should be pitted against me as if one were to stand
a chance against the power housed within my vessle.
Theres no such thing as a polite gesture. Nobody asks me
how my day is "going" for no other reason than to relay to me how their own special day is "going".
reckoning between a humble acknowledgement that I can never truly grasp the reason for existing
and therefor should play my part in keeping the peace, versus pure badass in a world of sheep.
And the more I get to know my surroundings, the more I reach erradically for the inherent bliss found within the path of satanism.
000t333g922276888o
Spmewhere off in the distance, Crermoth sits on a palm tree idly sculpting astral suspensions
into a tattered fervor of mesh for working the keys of ineptitude.
She is oblivious to her surroundings, not caring for chatty and gossip which she cant seperate between her reality and theirs
because she is sensitive and when the the fully recognized sage, Esoh, confronts her about she says she much prefers it that way.
Their balance among them. With the wind at her side, Hojihka refuses the initial preference of her stillness
and moves in a nameless precession by the whim of her ancestral birth right.
"aaa may-ee soo shay-noo"
Her possession wakes up without a name.
a new and more elaborate transposition of jubilee onto each successive indifference. The attention to one area renders the outer confines a
vacuum enveloping the excess span unto both of their liable to taken over like a plain, sole, unconscious will.
It certainly does its job Crermoth and has become something of a plan b pill thats taken during one of her
many unpredictable episodes of self hate and general spiritual torment. One time she told J-Money she was a demon in a matter of factness that
still haunts J-Money in moments when he pretends it doesnt bother him..
Reliant upon the interaction of her world and the next. Crermoth normally prefers being to herself on nights like these,
that way she can answer any calls at a moments notice.
A dimension close enough so that she may assist her friends in earthly manners of which, by the natural law of limitation, those lacking the incessant nobility of
the Orisha cannot be bothered to see to themselves, less the tether between her world and theirs be rendered a useless tattered fervor of mesh that
gives way to any varitable knock of an over arching brood of usurpment of the mundane frequency.
“I need space. I only have but so much light
of see to her calling as a being of light, assisting the pieces of herself that we’re lost during the falling. You remember that don’t you?” She says
“Of course I remember. But only as a matter of fact. Upon closer reflection I fail to see the relevance of a subtle hunch with no bearings in the present.”
I must know that I’m allowed to be straight up with you, else I run the risk of straying from my calling. If there’s anything I hate more than being ignored
its catching myself being lazy to the voices.
“She musn’t veer to far.” Esoh said on a mountain.
999c4477P72222cv555566
The woman wakes up to look around. Store-bought soil, empty bike-rack, office building.
"Harder. Think harder. Come on girl." She stands for dignity's sake. A car traces a hilltop in the distance.
She raises her cold arms to the sun in defiance of stillness. Nothing is in tune with the nature of her being besides the stale wind of a coming day.
"Where are you?"
The car freezes as it reaches the horizon, but the sound remains on loop. Whirrrrr
A portal manifests abruptly and Elegua arrives on a chariot of skulls.
"Erzulie, madame, how nice it is to see you this early in the morning."
A whisp of fire cleans her face and the car continues over the horizon.
"It really shouldnt be, not like this. Where Im at should tell a lot you know." Erzulie said.
"Quite a dense reply to a longtime friend, dont you think"
"Hmm, considering how I slept in a bush last night and dont remember a thing. I shouldnt need to explain myself."
"No? is the friz on your hair not matching the blood on your knees? I can't tell which." Elegua said. Or is the attitude possessing you as if theres no consequence for ill-manneredness? I cant tell which." So long as one's not so dense up his selfish ass that he aint notice."
"Oh so now all a sudden you about the finer things in life? We can switch places less you miss me. Erzulie said.
Im only pointing out the obvious." Elegua said.
Erzulie replied with silence, forcing life to flash before his eyes. She learned this from her Mother, Darkness.
"Attitude is possessing you. I cant tell why but its a poison I dont deserve. I was only trying to help" He continued.
"I just dont fuck with being called too early. So long as youre not too dense up your ass to take notice, safe to say i'm in some shit right now."
"Clearly. A product of consequence." Elegua said randomly.
"Yeah, recognize. Please, for me, baby?"
"No more testing your patience, Goddess immortal of justice. Save that for what I came to tell you about."
"Take me to cleanliness, saintly promise of wisdom. For im not feeling myself."
They left the scene to the past and pondered on the pyramid they had just made with each other.
"It's nice to be home." Erzulie said.
Flying over the palm trees brought Elegua back to his power.
"On the basis of love." Elegua said.
The salt-water washed away all glimpses of doubt Erzulie had of her beauty. And she harnessed the pastels of the ocean.
Thus, all guilt was abolished and unconditional love was convinced to dance within them.
Drying his body under the rays of Amen reminded Elegua of his first words. Long ago, before Time was born.
"O Father, you are so brilliant."
"Thank you, son. I am the Light"
"Then tell me, Father, if you are the Light, and are so brilliant, then why is it you flee from Darkness?"
"All I do is my purpose, which seeks to balance harmony with creation. Although it is much more complicated than that. Like always I suppose.
I'm afraid you ask me a question that I cannot answer. Here, because you are so curious, I will show you."
"I'm ready, Father."
Light grew brighter causing Elegua to cry in his recollection of what it felt like to say words. The links in his mind straining to pull in the right words.
Not too plain to where the moment would be lost in happen stance, and not too radical so that his manhood could stay irrefutable (to convey meaning.)
Then Light disintegrated into everything and Elegua searched for Light ever since.
So Elegua went to the crossroads, and prodded Darkness for Light's wherabouts,
"I want to relive the the moments before he left for eternity. Where can I find him?"
Without a hug or a kiss, she told him to let go of his experience in order to live in the now, "Take his place and move forward. Grow up, your Daddy's gone cus you never did."
"How could you say that me? I love you, Mom. Yet all I get is hate. Why are you hiding the truth from me?"
"If I don't hate you, then who will? You got so much to learn that my heart breaks into brass. You must leave, understand me? LEAVE, before I do what your Father did and them some.
I'm this close. Believe me."
With nowhere else to go, Elegua obeyed the commands of his Mother. Although lonely at first, the spirits of the dead related to his despair, and offered to guide him
through all the known and unknown realms of Ether, so long as he guided the spirits of the living to his Mother. So that the dead could learn for themselves the origins of their being dead.
And when Light came back, they could say "Father, we know of Hate, now teach us Love." Elegua tried telling them that it was hopeless, that his Father was there, just not in the way they imagined, that they we're actually his Father and they had to realize it through an altered perception.
but that negativity only made them more adament to their cause which annoyed Elegua into a manic spell of existential irony which persisted during times of war with the Snakes on 5th density. One battle in particular Badly wounded, he pulled his chariot with his arms to the middle of a corn-field on a full-moon during the Solstice, it was there he made a pact with his self, to never be ignorant to the fact that fate was an inescapable constant within all contributors to existence.
That the very fabric that distinguishes the dead from the living was comprised of scattered shards of an indestructable essence that attached itself to the spirit-body via fate which is the Father of destiny. That the collective conscious is woven by the thread of Fate, thus binding a common goal, or Destiny, inherent to all beings of both polarities, thus setting in motion the spiral of gnosis, which lends itself to the spreading of keys that open the doors to helping each other fulfill each others Purpose.
"I will collect the pieces of my Father so that I may speak with him again as I did as a child. I will never forget you because I love you. You are everything to me, which is all I ever could be. Please, I want to know why you flee in the face of Darkness."
____10/9/17 monday
My pace quickens as I veer away from the crowd onto the handicap stairs. I silently count my steps to give off a
pensive, non-assuming vibe. Over by the quad theres crows just walking on the grass.
Yet I'm the only one who seems to notice, even from a distance. The busses haul ass down Memorial St.
I've learned to always be on alert because I'll never know
whats waiting for me when I turn my attention off the floor and become reminded of string theory.
Artificial energy, cork boards with grime on the edges, tunnel of dull ends, spongy plywood cielings.
as i step with my head down
and in every so sudden a demarcation in the bricks,
the reptiles answer emails.
This is where I'm going.
Because my soul chose to live here at some point in time
not too long ago considering the relationship between all that the universe has to offer and my general apathy towards said all
as in any and all one.
Which has become quite of
a bore ever since the first week ended I had to come to terms with the reality that friends won't simply fall into my lap
like they would if I wasnt such a masochist for being lonely.
The row of pillars turn to one and all I see is the contentment in the air of the lobby.
In the hallway are casually turned faces which glide about in a linear fashion like the ghost of a lost bride..
I get a side-view of the people afraid to admit that this is far from the paradise we expected it to be.
The brochure in our acceptance letters didn't include the drunken nights of another dimension.
I'm inside the life of an architect. One who's dead by now, but lives on through his work.
I'm not going anywhere, the building would say, if it could talk. And I suppose it can. Because I just had the thought, and nothing
is ever truly wrong without another thought to compare it to. But then if buildings could speak existed first, and was allowed to
grow and find its place in the universe, then it'd be established enough to not warrant an adversary. But the question remains
where, if it existed, was its fate organized before coming into my mind, awaiting my final judgement. Substitute me for a unicellular
collective conscious and it seems like we're all dealers of fate her on
planet earth of the milky way of the universe of the whatever comes next (should we ever know for sure).
he or she deserves all the credit for it manifesting onto the grid of my consciousness, which is a zig zag joint's worth of a high
right now. The perfect amount for not giving a fuck while still staying slick enough for witty comebacks. Which wouldn't hurt right now.
This building isn't going anywhere. Though I wish it would. Because I dread what I'm about to do
How he must have pained to communicate something he could call his own while maintaining a dignified and safe, always safe, because god forgive, well, you know,
, putting the pen to the pad, drawing collumns in front of a Victorian fassad
Succumbing to authority just to eat with a roof over your head and not freeze your ass off like a homeless freak.
Profit margins in the final half of quarter one are lower than 1 standard deviation to what is considered by corporate to be optimal.
As of now, the college has no incentive to ship in product from outside sources. All inventory must be stored in house to the buyer's demand.
You better not be late.
___ On the parking deck
Tycho: “I had a dream I was on an internet forum. Someone posted the words: “life is an endless hell. With a blurry picture of a street at night-time. Not much different from what’s in front of us. I thought that made sense, until I scrolled down, to see a video looking out the windshield of a vintage rolls royce, coasting along a pacific highway. And the lines kept going. Next thing you know I’m falling down a pitch black waterslide, dreading my destination. If I never woke up I have a funny feeling i know where it was leading.
Preacher: In that instance did you feel the need to repent for your sins?
Tycho: No. that didn’t cross my mind. It was too late at that point.
Miranda: “I used to.
T: What made it stop?
Miranda: Seeing all the happy people around me. And knowing that they’ve been through the same shit. Break-ups, Death in the family, just generally feeling lost.
My heart was broken ”
T: Getting over the mind can be a dark place when it has nowhere else to rest. You can train it to think anything.”
Miranda: True
Tycho: Lately Ive been taking these long drives late at night into the boonies. Just to see where I up. I realized theres so many lives I’ll never know about.
If i wasnt born into money maybe I’d be humble enough to hate myself for even thinking such a thing.
How’d you get out of that?
Miranda:
These know it all professors are getting on my nerves. I fear Im crossing into an abyss I’ll never fully understand. Honestly I can’t fuckin stand these people. What name do I have to make for myself that i haven’t already experienced in the depths of my soul?
Tyco: You know how they try to act like they all official and shit, like I won’t see past it.
Miranda: [agreement] They do that.
Tyco: [stream of consciousness] So I just told her look I know its a rule, but I’m all about learning at my own pace and no disrespect i love her but Mrs. Soso can only go so far in telling me how to write. You can give tips and tricks but at the end of the day, I’ve been developed my writing style.. Like I thought we were done with all this high school shit. Well I didnt say that.
M: And what’d she say?
Tyco: She was like “As you get further into your major 90% of your assignments will be in essay format.. we require full participation “ At this im like she gonna hit me with the book like hell nah THEN outta nowhere She said “However, I also believe in 2nd chances.”. On the outside I was cool but inside I was like “*fist bump* yo i cannot fail outta college like someone watchin out for me idk who but-
Chad: fuck that shiiiiit *holds up white rum in front of street light”
Friend in background: 12! 12! 12!
Abrupt scene change. Camera shows Tyco zoned out. Then police car, as Tyco begins to hide behind the tree hes smoking on.
My black hoodie and phone-call to my dealer will still be with me tomorrow as I do the same thing.
(From a dream 10/23)
Tyco is driving around serving with Shantel when she lights her phone up from the passenger seat and puts the phone to her ear.
Shantel: You are not finna be talkin all that mess on my phone. Be honest with yourself. Don’t lie. You a hoe ass bitch.
?? Caller: Why are you even calling me? I dont give a fuck.
Shantel: Wait till I pull up then and slap the shit out you. Would that be better sweety?
?? Caller: I’m at Kawaii’s 30 deep. Bring your lil boyfriend and see what happens.
Shantel: Try me bitch.
[ The economy sedan turns right on red seemingly without breaking. ]
Tyco: 30 deep huh?
Shantel: With them ratchets.
Tyco: She sounds scared as hell aint nobody sticken up for her like that. You know they gonna talk shit right but soon as we throw them hands they gon be like, I dont know that bitch.
Shantel: nah but she stupid tho like not even worth all that extra
Tyco: We’re going. Wheres that nigga house i’ll waze that shit and we get there we just pop off. Aite?
[Not looking at the road, but to her, coasting down an average 2-lane with box neon trimmed tire shops and drive-thru windows governed stately as immovable beasts of mothership stores lurk behind low-sodium trenches of the new world order’s surveillence agenda for mass poplations en masse. ]
Just follow me. I’m walkin in and gonna start a commotion just bussin and you just break this bottle on her mother fuckin head and we out.
Shantel: haaah what okay
Tyco: You’re gonna fuck her shit up som serious.
Shantel: She talk shit about you.
Tyco: It’s in the stars babe for real.
Shantel: You gonna help me find that bitch?
Tyco: You my fucken queen I love you and I got you.
Neighborhood entrance.
Cars parked for miles.
House identified first glance.
Park.
Car doors..
Hip-Hop
Grass.
Walkway.
Steps.
Porch.
Door opens and yellow tops within the frame.
!! WHERE YOU AT// YALL FAKE AND CANT FINESSEE !!
AAAAAH YOU UGLY DARK SKINNED NIGROS
The caller is sitting on a couch ass to ass with other dudes. Looking stupid.
She never saw Shantel. Who came upon her like The Ring.
She has become a party magnet. It is a Slayer concert now. Nobody knows who’s who. Though Tyco is surely getting his ass beat. He catches of glimpse of Shantel’s fat ass ducking through the doorway and he could die right now and it wouldnt matter.
*GUN SHOT*
FUCK GOIN ON HERE MANE
“This not the place for you bro. - White boy comin up here in my place of business - Tryna pop shit off like you really not a bitch”
Kawaii looks up with his glock-9 extendo at his GD party mostly all gone just like that. The poor girl is still leaking.
“She need to go to the hospital.” Her friend says.
He points the glock at his head. Despair.
“Look around before I kill you.” An invitation.
Tycho: “I sold a 4 oz today after my accounting exam. I could be GD, 74, rock purp. whatever it be its nothing but Respect yo. Got connects with chad and Becky nahmean dog. Could put you on to some numbers they white and they fiends. Please OG.
“How much for a zip.”
“80, gas.”
“Was that yo bitch?”
“yea”
Kawaii: You lyin to me?
“No.”
“She eat your ass?”
“Yeah and bounce on my BIG ASS DICK” Tyco says with autism.
K walks away.
T: they don't even sell Molly bruh
K is you fucken high you dummies. Beat this nigga ass.
*Tyco imagines the why the fuck you lyyin vine and remembers the exact moment he realized that wasnt an original song but actually a spin off of a classic throwback jam by the 90s R&B group “Next” in their hit single “Too Close”.. He was driving home from the cafe he used to write high school essays in while smoking a menthol american spirit with the windows rolled down on a spring evening playing KISS 104.1 Atlantas classic jams. Then he realized there was a full 6 minute video of the vine on youtube. After watching it he felt gayer. Thats all it did for him.
Tycho wakes up on living room floor.Terry (random G, on couch): *Hands him note× Kawaii said he's sorry. No hard feelings ya heard dog?
Tyco: I guess thugs act on impulse. *looks at note* and don't count on a gahdamn thing you bitchass motherfuckers.
Tyco walks into class with a black eye. The Professor talks about interest loans. Tyco meets Moe after class in parking lot.
*Moe: Waddup
Tyco: It's lemon og I just got in.
Moe: Bet. Those last cookies you got. Bomb dude. It had them frar mother fuckers leanin like they can't handle that purp like that nahmean.*laughs*
Tyco: I got some backwoods you wanna hotbox.
Moe: Yo I'm down.
10/24/17 thursday
____ Last night I decided not to hate myself. The look I get from them doesnt bother me. Really, its a simple sign from nature that I’m used to by now. A wrong impression can sustain the fog of memory, of which I will be seen from the lens of another dimension, with not a care in the world, an angel in disguise. Thats the crux of my life up to this point. To no longer hate myself. But appear as if I still do. The nameless place in our past with no address., one of which even a frat boy can relate to. This invisible standard that’s thrown us into the pits of despair must be addressed. To seperate the real from the fake. Like the others are sleep walking through class fronting like they dont see me. The pyramid of perspective is an accordian overlayed on my third eye, televising scenes of sleep walkers who stay fronting like they dont see me. Walking behind the parking deck where green dumpsters were with my phone to my ear is a feeling that remains within me until I do the same thing over again in a few days. Buying in bulk never appealed to me. And if a 20 a g was the price thered be nothing my lonely ass could do. Fuck this worthless paper, I tell myself.
I tell myself. Anyone who catches my glimpse pauses for a split second, calibrating my own opinion of the why in life. A definition of nuance that was never meant to be expressed but felt. To sense what I’ve been wanting, free and alone, after all those wasted days.
I’m signalling. Though I havent been approached yet.
Figuring that would resolve the look I give other people. I mean, christ, I turned 18 last March. And spent the Summer in a last ditch effort to secure an identity before I made my plays in college. For too long I’ve avoided the call of the light and in return have gotten blank stares.
(SOMEHOW gets wrapped up into a petty conversation with sorirty girl (on top of parking deck.)
Clarissa: I was the only one alone in the entire party.
Tycho: Why didnt you leave?
T: Dont worry I dont wanna know your major.
C; Good cus it keeps changing.
T: You think you know everything dont you? This world aint nothin babe.
C: Why do you say that?
T: What do you wanna know? That I get money? Thats nothin.
Clarissa drifts off.
Hannah: So Stacy’s telling me the banners weren’t in that right place and we’re like an hour away from starting and we still haven’t even got the chairs in order and barely anyone who was suppose to be here has shown up yet.
Tycho: Where were they?
“Well for one, Candace, I dont know whats her problem lately, but shes been gone because her best-friends now telling her she’s not rushing anymore but thats honestly a relief because that girl wheres winged eyeliner and thinks shes better than us.”
Tycho: Oh, I think I’ve seen that girl at the library or something.
I intuit that in order to justify her reasoning for not liking the winged eyeliner girl, that she channeled my very own resonant storm cloud of which I emit silently in the face of vanity..
H: Well you’ll probably see her there a lot more cus shes definitely not with us.
“Okay so thats one.” I say as if taking notes.
“Then Rachel’s out at some charity event that I never even heard of probably with a guy she’s not telling us about which is so frustrating that of all days you pick friday night at the peak of rush to go be a hoe behind our backs.”
“Did she ever show up to the party?”
“Yeah. And she was fucking drunk.” She said as if surprised but not really because this is Rachel we’re talking about, after all.
“Like wasted orrr “
“Damn I didnt know yall got down like that.”
“Umm when youre stumbling through the door and your first words to all the new girls is hallelujah bitches!
She wasn’t with a guy.
“So tell me more about the party. Like was there”
who nobody knows anyway
is that Cheyenne is just out of it because her friends now telling her she doesnt want to rush anymore and for one its like look,
Wait, who’s hannah?
Hannah’s the leader of her sorority.
Ooooh, Okay, I see why now
-Yeah, I mean if word got around that would literally mean she was going around their backs to cover up that she was lying.
> Right. Yeah I hear what you sayin. She’s trying to make it seem as if it never concerned yall in the first place but if thats the case then she dont need to be acting like she got the right to be trusted.
This goes beyond reputation. Manipulating emotions just cus she has none of her own. Conniving biitch. just to get her way goes beyond reputation.
Aint nobody wanna be around that energy.
> So what you tell her?
I get schizophrenic when it comes accepting new ways of being. The person I made him out to be was the perfect cure for my suffering. All those forgetful nights of boredom I knew what I needed all along, but was to scared to do it myself.
------ Frat house halloween party kidnap scene ----
GD shaman prays to shango for power to go out by mantra. Squad in car repeats the same mantra. The power goes out at 1:00 (or peak of the party).
Tycho throws blue flare through the side of the window
at the Tycho must find Chad and lure him downstairs near the door so the squad can get the keys to the room full cocaine and adderal. After looking everwhere he’s no where to be found. He walks in on a couple having with the girl in missionary with devil ears. “Yo chad that you?” Its
(fuckem x3) Music stops from power so he sneaks in wireless speaker in his robot costume and puts it at one end of the room. Squad member 1 will carry bigger wireless speaker and set it down when he storms in. Tycho also brings a timed strobe light to distract people and keep the illusion of the party still going.
Tycho runs down stairs and towards door with chad chasing him. Squad slaps tape and mask on him and carries like a battering ram although theyve already kicked the door.
*Power turns back on*
“Fuck em, fuck em, nigga get out my section
Don’t want to see him, I don’t want to touch him
*waves zippo lighter in front of face so chad can see him through mask*
“Ima count 3 seconds and your dead on 5 if i dont get this combination” says calmly. thus saiyth the lord thy god”
“Three... No mercy”
“Two.. Shall be given unto those”
*gives code*
“One.”
Love takes many shapes and forms.Tycho never opened up to people, hating himself for being incapable of feeling what others felt. He wanted more so he went spiritual. Which his close friends perceived as going off the deep end."Ayy whatsup bro you tryna smoke?""I have a calc exam tomorrow but I'm down after."Aight good luck on your studying tonight and then kill it tomorrow I know you got this calc is your specialty can't say the same for me but that's why you always tutored me haha."Let me know if you need more help.
Figuring their was no bounds and he could be whatever, even silent, and experience irony rather than fate. How bland, he thought, to have a life plan and nothing to look forward to. Running drugs would be a necessary chain reaction. The highest elixer exceeding the bliss provided by the very weight he'd be pushing, itd be getting off on defying his own life, leaving spirit his only option. And so like a blackbird his soul seeks experience only in the clearest degree of visibility. Swerving transgressions of lonliness to levy the burdens of contrived responsibilities at societies every turn until his flight patterns veer from the trodden path to and fro the calling of reality in which he desires to preside over as a God of many statures. Untainted by works, head first into the entity of the adversary, of which he is able to predict the situational consequence in only a glimpsing moment before havoc ensues and the final hour is upon him, his loose wings coated with astral charcoal of depravity. Be caught slipping once and he loses the jump until the enevitable program takes its course - an unstoppable relationship between fate and reckoning that must be fulfilled as day turns to night. Once that happens he reverts back to being like the rest of them. Yet to the world, now desolated beyond repair, hed still be alive, exuding a calm presence that something is not quite right with him existing without remorse. The truth is simple enough, a hint just ever so slight as to never be able to cross the threshold of utterance, thus becoming rendered a convinction of self delusion on the part of the unknowing accuser, who by this time hates himself for even thinking badly of such a good guy to make peace with. The collage curtails past the illusion of what is already known and at last the watchers take notice and thus regeneration is able to take place along all the land, allowing for new energy to take the throne of anticipation. One that has harnessed the potential to become anything the wonder puts his mind too.
So what if I'm imaginative?
Yolandra: I mean everyone's different in their own way. Like yeah the soroitys have a dress code and all that Starbucks and capris. But I don't know. You just have to get know a person for who they are and not how the outside world perceives them to be.
T: So what'd you first think of me?
Yolandra: Honestly not much anything. You were one of those people who could be anything. But then I overheard you say taurus's are gold diggers and I hated you cus I'm a taurus.
T: Oh sorry I really didn't mean it like that but c'mon now I can tell you have a taste for finer things you bougie little.. Boob. *laugh\ haha "you know what I mean"
It doesn't bother you? What? That so much could go wrong so quickly? Look, deep down he's telling you his heart lies with getting over and you let him because that's /just what you like about him, how deep he gets. cus he's a sad and selfish individual who was never about loving anything other than vanity. The best thing to do would be to trust his actions, intentions aren't what's important right now. Really, forget about the soul connection. Loves comes through all types of people as long as you're open to receiving them. Those energies. Don't lose yourself in the illusion. Without ever taking credit for what truly matters which should be you.
Then your fashion made sense to me.
T: I'm so caught up in myself. I mean, it's impossible to know anything else. I'll never get to stand in your shoes. Its just truth. Yet I'm the bad guy.
You're not like the other people I've met.
T: Yeah I'm kind of loner if you couldn't tell already.
I guess that's a good thing.T: Hey it's okay. I get that a lot... Wait what do you mean you guess?
Ive found that who evers saying does a 180 in their normalcy. Knowing your even here right now is a good thing. Knowing that you're with me even when im not. Don't you think?
Starting out with confidence and ending strong to be lucky if I'm not hurt. Tell me what you want out of this. Sometimes I feel so lame, then I realize how fun itd be to not care. Through the window screen i see parchments and grass blades, this is an image I've sought to ignore for its blandness thinking I was over recognizing such mundane structures. The sunlight made me drunk with non verbal contemplation. I crave this heat when I'm in low spirits. And a breeze when I'm high. My thoughts are channeled from a lonely place (My thoughts come from a lonely place) I've had no choice but to become accustomed to for my own sanity. To work faster and breach that veil of reckonning. So unreachable and enticing at the same time.T
When I'm alone, welcome something more than the past if you ever cared to help me.
This isn't the only world out there. And even if it was the material would eventually reach infinity. Then a black hole would open or something. Don't quote me on that, science is the hottest thing going right now. It cant hurt to butt in unofficially. As long as no one calls you on it. The universe molds to your confidence. That's another story. At the end of the day, I have too much pride to be a scientist. The God they're serving calls for a lot of self sacrifice. A self that ignores emergency when called to speak. A self i'm not prepared to lose. "Why are you here again, nothing will change, you're gonna be quiet like last time" any handle on reality I had during the sun rise flees like an ex girlfriend into the night. I'm not prepared to lose. Anxiety is that humid feeling you get when roughnecking the time away. Jaded peripherals, internet browsing, and fading friends initiate a color spectrum so cruelly vivid in its inability to be shared with the CVS cashier who looked at you wrong because you bought 3 4oz bottles of robitussin. A man who couldnt care to see the streets, stop signs, and traffic lights. Man is a slang term we use when caught in the moment. Of which matrix programming loves to grasp onto.
--- 10/25/17 wednesday
So here I am enjoying a piece of lackluster nothing for the sake of something I've agreed to experience in a past life I can't even remember but somehow must make amends to as if its an actual concrete thing I can touch and make sense out of without caring to ponder how life puts us in these type situations like getting your hair done a new way and meeting a friend of a friend superficially without ever following up like aight word up bro I feel you by the way hows life and what's the special fact I should become one with in this moment while not thinking too much in to things or else id be alone as if we're not alive under the stars for any other reason than to be happy but still to me that becomes too much like a flash in time rather than something meaningful because then sex would have to be our purpose for being here but you and I both know it's more complicated than that so we look into it via memories and realize the journey was brighter than the reward as in I don't remember the actual sex part but rather the day as a whole with stained glass sprinkled in on a film reel to push the past into something real and unexplainably alluring to the self of which we projected this light onto in order to perhaps know in advance maybe how to repeat this metaphysical phenomenon for a second time because we're not quite there yet although at this rate if seems that to finally reach a state of thereness would mean we wouldn't be able to be here right now having this conversation like a building block struck from below or a house of cards we have to keep faith that every moment plays its part because we had an emotion for it and therefore couldn't be rendered to nothing in a wreckless attempt force it all together rather let each tile compliment it's neighbor and bypass the need for destruction by allowing enough caring energy to flow through that filter mechanism within you that deems lifes moments as worth remembering or forgetting and pretend you never heard about forgetting and avoid it like the plague because everything that ever was is depending on you to go forth into righteous so that gods original intention for letting go of unwanted baggage be synthesized within your vessel of upgrades intelligence so that the journey can still be appreciated only this time without th deceptive veil of the end.
to question the little things that somehow don't mean much but at the same time appear to us daily as conduits for good fortune and thats what we must uphold
___ 11/2/17 thursday
I you and me playcated on a surface of stones that match our longing to search in the wrong places. Convenient are we done such a conceivable time that is time which is also time because what more can be said other than us winding down a fire escape to an inexplicable hatch sitting like paper mache on our transformative spiritual natures. Gone already but not forgotten just make sure to take the negative side of every situation involving 1 or more parties so as to make sure the rythym is in order because you can't go wrong with challenging the status quo of an area you're not suppose to be in even if that seems too easy and superficial it's the right choice because even the idea of rebellion as a bad thing must be able to project into a physical thing prompt for examination so secrets may be revealed. Wouldn't you know i stopped believing in faith due to its redundancy of chasing metaphysical strings too far out for us to put into words and isn't that the source of all our angst. Depraved of propositional phrases and elemental tables it's all so clear to me now. Casandra had a bag and Mikey had his sneakers in the forefront like a low hanging fruit but of course they had personalities that weren't so easy to see unless the hard work of interfacing came into the equation. Lets judge people based on judging for the sake of basing ourselves onto something not within our realm of reality. Perception is a hard question i think maybe inanimate objects could tell us a thing or two. Low pressure sodium lamps.Documentorial lecture hall amps failing to reach the end of the pyramid turned 90 degrees away from its focal point. May disease not reach our unexplainable selves if ever they may inhabit our temporary vessels like a friend who has no friends but you and wants desperately to get along with others but is attached to your ways. Are we in hell? What can our astral travels tell us about signaling locations with Etheric marks of time dialation. Things are what they are by defintion or they wouldn t be things however stepping the observer up a notch sets in motion cancer to grow from the singular notion that we ourselves separate on a cost of lightening our load.
I am partly responsible for this mess we have made. Pulling my hair out in thin strands so as to not make a difference. Some people just don't understand what it means to be so far gone yet in a place of enchantment that lets us know we're not alone as Michael Jackson plays on the ham radio and Wikipedia says the song was written by r kelly. I'm a solitary young man, joined at the seams complacency and red-ridden vanishing points to a line of sight I'd rather not identify with if I had a choice. I'm seriously considering becoming rich and famous despite others already forcing me to. I guess eventually my spirit will give in as my soul looks from a distance and says what a fool I am then goes about his day. You can't be like the rest of them no matter how hard you try. Thinking on the sensualities you avoided after this rap shit led you no where. The palace at the height of creation where Jesus stopped and stared to collect his thoughts before he kept going when his alarm rang as his slave bending consistency tracked the new melinnia into a moldy piece of sandstone cheese the better of which tasted nutty with fruity notes and 80% abv shards of liquid glass on the throat thatd make even an immortal weep a shy tear or two. The pigs down in Mississippi feel things we can't understand in their slaughterhouse decrepit and forwarned in a musk ridden air flow that's non existent to hypocritical angels who were supposed to stop atrocity but opted to sit on their ads and play virtua tennis all day. Oink says the pig. Hee haw says the donkey. Give me life says the God and there on the 30th night fags came to tell the story on their faces. The bag lady told them to shut up and stop whining but they wouldn't listen though they lost their ability to speak. Goodness gracious me oh my great balls of fire. Great balls of ball you are the Lord of my lonely century in this dimension I took awareness to when I allowed you into my heart space.And then I left asking my self: Who is this I?
755559888a
Let’s stand for a while and think about the dastardly ways we have gone under the waters and flew away from temptation. Have us saying isnt it so pretty to be in something and have that to fall back on due to the struggles of forgetting the place we come from which didnt always have it out for us this bad in refusing us of inconjunctions we can at least point to and blame our problems on saying “See! There, I told you so. That’s why we cant find our beginning!” And we’ll keep toilling the fields as halflings saving up for a chance to leave the very universe we serve.
“So thats more like it. Finally something I can get my flows on to” Shelly the alien said.
“The Stars dont have to like you just because you see them. They have their place and so do we” Gerald said.
“Oh but they do.”
“How do you know?”
“Well for one they always shine bright at the most oppurtune times, like when I’m feeling down about the part of myself that conveinently seems to escape me just when I need it most. If that be so then put me on to something else and that’ll do just fine.”
“Perhaps you're not as big as you thought ” Gerald held up his hand to salvage what was left of the dissolving psychic barrier between them. An invisible giant with an ocd issue. For now he could only listen.
“No im not here to choose and thats exactly why Im not afraid to go where you can’t. Having the courage to admit your wrongs requires as much energy as universal rotation itself - a force which exists beyond our pleaidien awareness. ”
“ But Shel- Okay whatever” Gerald paused and rolled the horizon through his scaly fingertips. “Keep calling on the unknown and you might get lost because it’s been there forever and sometimes Look, Shelly, no offense, you know I love you, but your awareness has no filter on what representation it can cling onto like danger isnt a reality to you. Me and Dazel always had to look out for you and thats just in this world what makes you think you can take on things you cant even see?
“But do you believe in me? Anyone can say they love me. I’ve been hearing that my whole life. So much that it holds the same meaning as “um” does in conversation. Is that really the final conclusion we have at the end of the day? That you love me? Besides, I dont think you really meant that.”
“Here goes Miss Type-1 personality again. Always needing to label circles into squares, stars into gods, this as that, out of an inability to cope with insecurity. Leaving the rest of us as unwilling participants.”
“HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT’S WRONG IN NATURE?” Shelly bawled.
The beach of Temofose was out of walking distance from the orange cottage they grew up in with there Mom. When they were young it was somewhere theyd go when they had nothing else to do. Euweu Sister Beach was the brighter of the two, but now too populated for their liking. Temofose is less frequented by other families and polluted by cargo ships and a lack of open views but as they stood there a semblence of twilight through the holographic cages offered closure to the purpose of them arguing in the elements about a timeline Shelly was going to step into And no matter what argument he could put forth, Gerald thought of it fruitless unless he spoke from his heart, a heart of which Shelly was currently taking the place of, so that he could not use it against her.
“Shelly, I just hope you can understand how I dont want to let you go.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way. But it’s my choice. Have a good njght Gerald. I love you” She said as she went into darkness.
Summer Break 2018
As a street light exploring strip malls, I am a linoleum tile on top of a trapezoid emitting frames of rave scenes. Heres where I find myself walking through last nights dream of the gang member selling duck pussy then getting assaulted by a pizza guy and a cop. Alone after those nights. Seems love was never meant to be expressed but felt. I look inside to see if I’m about to die, seeing diamonds mixed with sky. Materializing in the backdrop of my memories. Now I know why.
Now I know.
Then a wren on the fence manifests when it needs to. The perspective pyramid is that I pleaded for a higher calling. There’s nobody bohemian as me. One day I’ll take this civic off the road and escape into my sacred grove. If only I wasnt such a bitch.
I carry my single briefcase through the airport parking lot. I’m hot and out of breath. Everyone watching me. I can read their thoughts but not my own. They say look at the guy who isnt me but is still conscious enough to move his vessel.
The a/c runs down to the end of the terminal, but my spirit is squared by the stores selling vain material. The pyramid of perspective is an accordian overlayed on my mind’s eye televises scenes too chaotic to put into words. Walking through customs is an event to be remembered, I tell myself. Anyone who catches my glimpse pauses for a split second, calibrating my own opinion of the why in life. A definition of nuance that was never meant to be expressed but felt. To sense what I’ve been wanting, free and alone, after all those wasted days. I board the flight to say finally I am my own religion. If I was flying over africa I’d see bon fires, but over Georgia I only see street lights. Thinking how absurd that they will speak of me as crazy. Others will listen. A vibration through these amber aisles to look no further than my destiny. Because everyone has their destination is the way it goes. I refuse. I’m tired of being a number. Atlanta had its place. Now I’m homeless in Tokyo. This is the not-so perfect end to the chapter planned out for me by the higher power. Not-so bad neither.
Save me. I’m on the other side now.
1 note
·
View note
Text
Past’s Future but Today’s Past
Oops, I haven’t written for a while. The last post says “3 years” but I am pretty sure its closer to 4. Imagine all the crap in my head that wasn’t released. That explains a lot.
Before I start my travel blogs here’s a summary of the last 3-4 years:
· June 2015 – Mental breakdown with the tip of the iceberg being a friendship breakup. Man that hurt, more than romantic relationships. I guess because you don’t expect them to end? I broke my hand. Punched a marble wall in an elevator (crying and alone). I would have been pretty upset if it didn’t break actually, because a marble wall is pretty hard. Embarrassingly, I still couldn’t, and probably can’t punch properly, with the fracture being in the 5th metacarpal.
The rest of the iceberg included: over working, over investing emotional energy into work (but how can you not, you’re working with people)(I’m much better an learning not to now), my half-sister was going through a court case against her step father for fucked up shit.
· July 2015 - went to Bali with my friend for like 2 days lol (with a cast around my arm), because that was booked ages ago.
Road tripped down from Darwin to Brisbane with Mum. Long days, long drives, but loved watching the scenery change. Great photos but they’re on Instagram a million scrolls down now.
Stayed with my brother and his ex and their dogs and cats for about a month. Mostly in bed.
· August 2015 – moved back down to Gosford and half lived with my parents there, and sister in Sydney. Got a job. Moved to Sydney in about October although work was contract and started on very low hours (~4). So I lost my $17g in savings towards someone else’s mortgage because independence is important to me.
· Throughout Sydney time:
- I got to know sister and sister in law better, they looked after me insanely. And gave me a cat, Dot. Who I love. And miss. And then my twin moved back and away again but that was the best. Got to work with parents better. Rekindled friendships, strengthened friendships, and made new ones. There’s too many of them but they know who they are. they are amazing, and again I don’t know what I’d do without them. Visited Grandam more (so hard to leave). I contracted for a total of 5 companies. And learnt boundaries and “my worth.” One company I’m still working for because they’re amazing and the boss has somehow managed to instil all my own values into the culture of his company. I also life modelled a fair bit. Went to Thailand for 5 days and NZ for 5 days plus some other roadtrips around Aus. Brother was pretty scarily low but now he seems good.
- Saw a psych for a year or 2. Had panic attacks. Exercise is awesome etc.
- I have(had...still weird to say) a boyfriend. For a year. He was good. I learnt how to be vulnerable and trust romantically, I learnt more about my needs and boundaries (lots of boundary learning over the last few years – professional/personal). He also taught me how to cook better (well the idea of cooking better not sure if I have practised it that much), and he always tried/s to enjoy enjoyable things, which sometimes I’m not very good at because my mind is probably stressed about something else. We lived together for 6 months. He now has my cat. I’m so glad they have each other and I miss them. Everything has felt so surreal since I actually decided I need to leave. I needed to leave because travel has been on my to-do-list, and work visas have age limits and my age is limited, so Im actually pushing it. Plus, I was just not coping there. We had different goals (travel vs settle), and some different values. I’d had my mind set on leaving after my sister’s wedding and though I tried to push it back, I couldn’t. And maybe that made me more focused on the negative? Anyway, needed to travel and that’s what I’m doing.
I think that’s most of the 3.5 years summarised. Hhhmmm 3.5 years in 519 words :/
Awww I had some points for the future in my long last post. And now it is the future. Cute.
To conclude I’ll just address comments in that post, sentence by sentence:
- Still have lots of love
- Don’t really like myself at the moment though tbh
- I no longer try to beat box, I forgot that I was doing that
- I stopped listening to podcasts while driving in July 2017 because I realised it was contributing to my stress and fatigue – as I was never resting, always on the go
- Body composition even worse now, wish I had what it was then lolz
- Face/acne – improved once I went on the pill, came back when I stopped repeat etc. Didn’t come back once I ceased/decreased gluten/dairy
- So was single for 54 months, and felt the same most of that time – content alone, occasionally lonely. Single again now, apparently.
- Anxiety and depression. Always there. Quit the degree though so no more assignments, though that stress enjoyed report writing
- Oh man did depression and PMS symptoms improve with diet and exercise! So much! I get cramps and nipple tenderness PMS, IF my lifestyle is shit, when its not, I don’t know theyre coming (have to rely no app haha)
- Past/regret – still don’t regret things, as I look at everything as teachings. Though I regret eating so much chocolate
- Future! I have not done WA. I am in Asia right now!! But haven’t organised any volunteering yet. Also not sure when/where/what, I currently need a break from helping people ( a bit drained from Sydney work)(I need to fix that Boom/Bust pattern of work and crash…). Don’t know about hiking at the moment I’m pretty unfit. Haven’t learnt guitar. I think I looked into it and didn’t know where to start so gave up. Gymnastics didn’t improve much but sister got me into more climbing! Drawing improved a little with life drawing groups. Boy did I fix up those dreads (Jess and I combed them out). Still haven’t done Martial Arts but planning to do a Kung Fu/Meditation retreat in a few weeks in Thailand. I better book that. Tomorrow… Am reading more – its apart of my bed time routine 😊. Oh I still need to learn how to write properly!! Grammar and vocab etc.
1 note
·
View note
Note
reddie at a fuckinn,,, office christmas party and eddie is like 'oh finally my chance to talk to the cute guy (richie) that works in HR' but then richie walks in and he's wearing the UGLIEST fucking christmas sweater ever and eddie loses his shit ((idk this just came to mind do what u want with it)) ((((this is kinghanscom ily)))
@kinghanscom MY ACTUAL GOD ,,, I WORSHIP ,, LOVE, AND ADORE YOU
theyre like ,, 25-26 here
office christmas parties… oh god
first of all they’ve been seeing each other in work the whole year, never really talked
they were in the break room at the same time a couple of times but they never really got far with talking
as richie was always busy being the jester of the break room
but one time he winked at eddie before he turned his gaze away to talk to somebody else again
and eddie rushed away with a blush
and his donut
well yeah,,, back to the christmas party:
“hey greta” eddie smiles at the old info counter lady as he walks in
“hello eddie,,, here take this”
she gives him the “hi my name is” sticker
eddie writes “Eddie” on it and sticks it to his baby blue button-up
he grabs a glass of the “champagne” on the tray but its probably some cheap apple cider just put in a fancy glass
eddie sips it and cringes
yep he was right
soon he turns his gaze to the left side of the hall, where laughter is coming from
who else but richie tozier is in there,,, entertaining as usual
eddie bites on his lip because tonight would be a great opportunity to finally talk to the cute scrawny guy
like eddie had no idea if he was gay or anything (at least not according to the awful shoes he wore) but he HAD winked at eddie so???
suddenly everyone starts to disappear from around richie,,, to get more drinks or smoke cigars or something
richie gets left alone,, and eddie notices how he pulls his smartphone out from his pocket and starts to scroll on it
now is your chance kaspbrak
eddie gulps the cheap apple cider down in one take and leaves the now empty glass on the table before making his way to richie
he inhales and exhales once more,,, before he steps forwards
“hey” eddie says
richie turns around, not expecting to see who he did but now a huge smirk takes over his face
“hey!!! its you”
eddie’s gaze slides down to the shirt richie is wearing
its,,, a ,,fucking shirt,,, with a dabbing santa claus riding a grumpy cat reindeer
“what the FUCK is that” eddie asks, nodding towards his shirt, his gaze still stuck on it
richie glances down at his shirt again
“its a shirt with a dabbing santa claus riding a grumpy cat reindeer” he says
“oh my fucking god” eddie facepalms
“what???” richie asks “you dont think its cool???”
“NO i dont think its cool i think its a fucking disaster”
“excuse me i paid good money for this” richie jokes
“wasted money i say” eddie says, and now regrets drinking his apple cider down in one go
he notices an abandoned glass on the table next to him tho so he leans to grab it
“whats your name, flower of positivity?” richie asks
eddie looks at him for a moment, wondering whether this was a bad freaking idea
but then he remembers he’s literally been swooning over this guy throughout the whole year
“eddie” he says “says so in here too”
he points at his chest
“ah! right” richie says
eddie turns his gaze to richie’s sticker
which says
“hi, my name is…
CHICKA CHICKA SLIM SHADY”
eddie raises his brows
“are you kidding me”
richie smirks
“pretty genius huh”
“no. thats awful. and used”
“you’re very negative aren’t you” richie smirks, tilting his head and sipping his drink
eddie had no idea why he was like this tbh
somehow this guy annoyed him to the maximum?!??!!? BUT WHY?!?!?!
just a few minutes ago he was standing in the elevator his tummy turning around at the thought of running into richie tonight
“you’re really weird” eddie just says
richie laughs
“is that all?”
eddie looks at him quietly
“sit down,,, eddie”
richie pats the empty seat next to him on the awful leather couch
eddie hesitates for a moment but then sits down
“so,,, eddie…..” richie starts “im richie”
eddie fake gasps
“so youre not slim shady???” he asks dryly
richie smirks so wide because ?!?!?!??! !
EDDIE KASPBRAK IS FINALLY TALKING TO HIM
(he actually knew his name was eddie already)
(because richie’s got the BIGGEST crush)
(it all started when he saw eddie in the break room the first day and noticed eddie picking out a donut for five minutes and then glancing around to see no one was witnessing,,, he grabbed two)
(and didnt realize richie was outside behind the counter)
(so he asked his name from greta)
(and she told him)
(and the whole year richie wanted to talk to him but thought eddie wouldnt like him so he made sure everyone ELSE liked him first and that eddie would notice richie was actually very likable :(((( )
(ANYWAY BACK TO THE PRESENT MOMENT)
“i knew you were funny” richie says
“i am kinda funny” eddie shrugs
“thats unfair. usually you can only pick one”
eddie frowns
“huh??”
“i mean,, you’re already cute as heck. and you’re also funny?? thats not fair. pick one”
eddie blushes vigorously as his jaw drops a little because holy fuck that was smooth
and richie smiles wide
“youre-”
then all the people march back in from out of nowhere
“HEY RICHIE YOU WANNA COME TAKE SOME SHOTS? JAKE JUST GOT THE VODKA BOTTLE!”
they both stare at the workers,,, and then glance at each other
eddie’s kinda disappointed because he only ever hangs out with three people and richie’s the more famous one
so obviously he’s gonna go with these people
why would he stay with eddie
“no thanks guys im gonna stay here with eds”
“with who????” eddie raises his brows in a excuse-me-what’d-ya-call-me way
“you sure???” the guy who suggested shots asked, a little confused
“yeah” richie nodded “am perfectly comfortable here”
eddie blushes again but this time there’s a small smile to it as he looks at richie
richie winks at him
“okay. fine” the guy says
“BOOOOORING” one of them says from behind him and off they go
“you didnt have to do that” eddie says
“but i wanted to” richie shrugs “why would i care about some vodka shots when i have something much more interesting going on here,,,”
“okay romeo enough with the flirting” eddie chuckles
“why though?” richie tilts his head “i find you extremely flirty-worthy”
“you dont even know me” eddie smiles amusedly
“i know you stole two donuts on our first day” richie says and sips his drink as eddie gasps and his jaw drops
“I THOUGHT NOBODY SAW ME”
“well you thought wrong sweet tooth” richie smirks
“its just,,, who the hell can decide between a raspberry sprinkle and a salted caramel?!?!?!?”
“i totally get you” richie nods understandingly “i feel the same about a chocolate and a crunchy crunchy one”
“YEAH” eddie says “like honestly i think everyone should be allowed to take two donuts. one donut… what the fuck is this, the biggest loser????”
richie laughs
“yeah i know right”
“yeah” eddie says, sipping his cider again
and richie smiles
because wow they havent talked for even thirty minutes but he’s like so fucking whipped already????
“i didn’t tell anyone though” richie says
eddie looks at him for a moment,, his heart swelling up a little
but he doesnt show it outside
“good. because i would have fucking wrecked you”
“oh i dont doubt that for a second” richie says
and he means it
eddie looks at him for a moment ,,, starting to smile but then he laughs
like really laughs
and richie is heart eyes
“whats your opinion on cinnamon sugar though?” richie asks
“its okay” eddie says “kind of boring,, but its okay”
“agreed” richie nods
they look at each other for a moment before eddie speaks
“i gotta confess”
“i am not the father”
eddie laughs again
richie’s proud w himself and smiles
“no,, im serious. i uh,…. i knew your name was richie”
richie raises his brows lightly
“,,,reeeeaaallly????” he asks, starting to smirk
of course eddie did
one of his work buddies,,, tacy caught him staring at richie one day
….
“what are we looking at”
eddie gasped and turned around, seeing tacy wiggle her brows at eddie with a cup of coffee in her hand
“jesus,, how long have you been standing there”
“long enough to notice you’re totally daydreaming about the new guy”
“I AM NOT DAYDREAMING ABOUT THE NEW GUY HOW DARE YOU!” eddie gasped
tacy raised her brows
okay fine
tacy was right
eddie just glanced behind him again,,, looking at the curly haired guy unpacking his box
“you know him???” eddie asked and turned back around
“yeah” tacy shrugged “his name’s richie”
“richie??” eddie asked
“richie tozier” tacy said, turning her gaze to the guy “and i would climb that up like a tree”
“hey! i saw him first” eddie half-joked, frowning and tacy burst out laughing
“calm down, kaspbrak, i’ve got a boyfriend” tacy said. “but if i didn’t, though…. mmmm-mmm-mm-”
eddie playfully smacked her arm, making tacy laugh again
“come on, we got work to do” tacy said
“but-”
“you can talk to him on lunch break”
—-
(he never did)
“yeah” eddie says “my uh… my friend tacy told me”
“tacy?? tacy’s your friend??” richie asks
eddie gets a little bothered
“…yeah why?”
like has tacy done something with richie???
“she’s been flirting with me this whole year” richie shrugs as he gulps on his drink and slouches deeper to the couch and eddie’s jaw drops
THAT BITCH
ok eddie knew she flirted with everyone
bUT STILL
“dont worry. i was actually focused on someone else” richie says,, and turns his gaze back to eddie
whose tummy flips again
“…..reeaaaaallly” he imitates richie from earlier and richie of course notices this,,, starting to smirk
“yeah. reaaaaally” he says
eddie smirks wide back at him, before he notices his glass is empty
“well, richie, my glass is empty.”
“oh my god no,,, we have to change that”
“i know” eddie fake gasps
“that can not happen” richie says and gets up, holding his hand out for eddie who grabs it and richie pulls him up
“at a office christmas party? no way you’re gonna be sober”
eddie chuckles
its music to richie’s ears
they walk to the drink table and get more drinks
approximately a hour and a half later they’re making out hot and heavily inside a broom closet
gotta love office christmas parties
@superbyersbros@xbell22@donthateonk8@stenbroughbros@reddiebrekmyheart@itsgreywaterrichie@donvex@blueeyespurpleskies@ageorgymi@oh-youre-the-worst @eddiekaaspbraak@whipashwhipash@rissyq@richietoaster@edskasqbrak@urtury@bukiminajimu@kcutieeesblog@stansmansuris@adorefack@reddieaddict@icyeyes102@denbroughbill@graveyardshipper@taletellingsir@anxiety-freak-yuuri@rheddie@queertrashmouth@richiefreakingtozier@castletozier@tohzier@80soleff@lonewolfhard@low-key-dying@sad-synth @richietoaster@badboyharrington@beepbeep-losers @temptedtozier @kaspbraccs @kylieee827-blog@sad-synth @low-key-dying @officiallyreddie @reddietofall@stanleyboii@eternitynurarms@remushlupin@turtleneckrichie @rosegoldrichie@80srichie@asteroidbill@lonewolfhard@trashmouthgazebos@littlepointman@finnhardwolf@allison0609@fabulousprinceali @tatiscribbles @s-s-georgie @coralinejones @richiestoziiers@tatiscribbles @bellsd129
342 notes
·
View notes
Text
Cam’s Voltron Fic Rec 3/∞
VLD Rec Lists: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7]
Here’s a Fic Masterlist for my other fandoms.
( ** = favorites )
**Recoil/Release by Cheshyr
Word count: 22,387 (13/13)
Summary: When Keith is bitten by an alien creature with venom that causes your dominant emotions to be amplified, the team is ready for a day of dealing with an incredibly angry paladin.
Which means they’re not ready at all for what actually happens.
Comments: The almost stream-of-consciousness writing of Keith’s parts are really gut-wrenching because it’s as if you are experiencing it with him. (Warning for panic attacks- if you are triggered at all by that sort of thing you may want to sit this one out, it gets pretty graphic). A couple good song pairings for this fic to set the tone are Broken Crown and World Gone Mad.
**Synergy by Kokochan & Spanch
Word count: 74,064 (10/10)
Summary: The vines were large, stiff, gnarly, and thick-stemmed, with blue leaves as big and round as dinner plates, but Shiro’s battle-arm was able to sever several long straggles with ease. The vines draped easily enough over the shuttle and hid it quite handily from view. “Good enough, I suppose,” Shiro said, glaring at the empty greenish-blue sky. “Come on, let’s… Hunk? What’s the matter?”
Hunk was staring at something behind him. “Shiro, don’t make any sudden moves just now, but there’s a really big lizard thing standing right behind you. Um. Two of them.”
Surprised, Shiro turned, albeit carefully. He’d never even heard them approach. That was rather impressive, considering the size of the beasts. It was as though someone had taken a pair of Arizonan horned lizards and rebuilt them more on the lines of a tiger without leaving out any of the spikes, then expanded them to about the size of an Indian elephant and added six large, intelligent blue eyes. Understandably, Shiro froze in place.
Comments: OH. MY. GOSH. OK. SO. This bad boy is Part 1 of 3, so far, with a total series word count of 241,404 at the moment. This beautiful titan of a series is named Of The Pack, and it updates with great speed, considering it has two top tier authors working on it. The several OCs in this story are so lifelike and realistic and fit so well into the universe that I forget that they aren’t actually canon and I kind of miss them when I’m reading other Voltron fics. My favorite part is the world-building it does. Everything about this fic is so dynamic and multi-dimensional, from it’s characters to the epic plot - this is the exact opposite of lazy writing. I am so here for badass Pidge, and the matriarchal Galra culture and the dragons. I👏LOVE👏THIS👏FIC👏
Also there’s magic! (with a scientific explanation, of course)
A cool song that I think goes nice with this fic is Heroes by Måns Zelmerlöw.
The Kids Are Alright by pugglemuggle
Word count: 10,430 (3/3)
Summary: Three Garrison Cadets Missing After Freak Satellite Crash
By Mara Garrett, News Editor | The Guardian | Monday, June 13, 2103 7:40 A.M. ET
Two seventeen-year-olds and a fifteen-year-old went missing Friday night after a rogue satellite crashed into the desert a few miles away from the Galaxy Garrison Training Facility, reports say. Garrison officials were quick to cordon off the area, claiming many of the remaining satellite fragments were dangerous and unstable. Government search parties have been sent out into the surrounding desert areas. Details are forthcoming.
—
Her brother is missing. Lance’s sister isn’t about to sit quietly while the Garrison keeps lying to the press. No—she’s going to get to the bottom of this.
(Or: The paladins’ families team up to find their kids and overthrow the corrupt Garrison regime. Told through news articles, prose, the internet, and art.)
Comments: The format of this is very intriguing and fresh. We get to see scenes of our favorite paladins through the eyes of their friends and families, from before they disappeared and the aftermath. The open ending is still satisfying and leaves you with a sense of determination and hope for these characters that you just couldn’t help but get attached to. If you’re big on government conspiracies then this is the fic for you!
**Patty Cake by Froldgapp
Word count: 7,829 (6/6)
Summary: Quiet, aloof, and alone, Keith is distant from the rest of the team. Hunk begins to suspect why, and it’s only when the red paladin pushes himself too far, the Voltron gang realise he’s just as vulnerable as the rest of them.
Comments: Aaaaahhh this fic. Something about this one has me coming back to reread it all the time even though I always cry. It is just so angsty but in a more poignant, sharp, breathless kind of way. Some of the things the characters say send painful stinging jolts into your chest and you can feel your heart cracking and then you get angry because how dare (I mean ch4 tho holy sh*t). I just want to hug Keith so much ugh. Hunk’s protectiveness of Keith gives me the strength to finish this masterpiece every time. Also, this can kind of be Sheith if you squint (or not, if you don’t).
The Message by Shipstiel
Word count: 132,787 (45/45)
Summary: (4:07) okay, but considr this, and hear me out here
(4:08) so like, a photobooth u can do with ur pets like there’ll be lil costumes that u can dress them up in, and u can do liek, period costumes and shit with them
(4:09) omg, can u imagine, u and ur cat/dog, and theyre in a lil 1800s dress and one of those lace umbrella things omg so cute
(4:15) Why the FUCK are you texting me at four in the morning with this
—
Keith is texted by accident by some idiot one day, and honestly he’s not even sure why he responds. Or why he keeps responding. Yet somehow he finds himself drawn in, and okay, so maybe this fool is mildly entertaining after all. Who would’ve thought.
Comments: Slowburn Klance Wrong Number AU. These two are so cute I just can’t. This is the perfect story if you are looking for something effortless and relaxing to read. Even though this contains some softcore Langst, it is still a very cute and heartwarming story about two dorks slowly falling in love. It features Lance’s mother who I fell in love with here, and the kind of supportive nosy best friends that everyone wants in real life (i.e. Hunk, Pidge, and Allura).
**The Quiet by MilkTeaMiku
Word count: 66,700 (32/32)
Summary: Does he not realize he’s dead?
Keith can see ghosts. As a part of his Garrison training, he’s sent to a hospital to do one year of medical clerkship - it’s there that he meets a charmingly irritating chose who definitely needs to learn what boundaries are.
Comments: Modern Ghost AU with eventual Klance. This fic is the most suspenseful story I have ever read in my life. Idk if it’s just me, but I just have this feeling building up paragraph by paragraph of an impending… something. And it has my heart racing which is crazy because it isn’t even particularly fast-paced. There’s just a heaviness to the words that have the hairs on the back of your neck prickling. I literally have to take a breather from reading sometimes to calm down.
A couple cool songs I think set the mood for this fic is Smother and Mirror.
Finding Home by spacegaykogane
Word count: 26,966 (6/6)
Summary: After the wormhole collapses, Keith finds himself stranded on a strange planet. Alone. Until Lance comes along.
With their lions dead and resources limited, Keith and Lance need to put aside their differences and work together to get home.
Wherever that may be, now.
Comments: Klance. I love Stranded fics where they have to work together to survive and bond over that. So yeah this one has some whump obviously, bc you know, crash landings aren’t very fun. This one is angsty but its balanced out by the fluffiness in the end.
Cuddle Puddle by nothingwrongwiththerain
Word count: 46,782 (6/6)
Summary: Unexpectedly, Shiro’s hand landed on the top of his head. Apparently with Lance and Hunk taking up all the shoulder real estate, Shiro would settle for ruffling Keith’s hair.
Keith was fairly certain his soul was about to detach and abandon his shaking body on the couch. He was surrounded, in the complete and total sense of the word, by other people. Not once before, not in his whole life, had he dealt with a situation like this one.
Or, five times Keith found himself too close for comfort and one time he couldn't get close enough.
Comments: Klance featuring ace!Keith. Don’t be fooled by the fluffy summary, this is a very angsty fic with lots of Keith whump. Basically, as stated by the author, this story is about ‘Keith struggling with physical contact and learning to accept people care about him’. I love touch-starved Keith stories, like this one. I love the scenes with Kidge bros, featuring a super supportive Pidge.
At the Beginning by Sakuraiai
Word count: 64,203 (12/12)
Summary: Inspired by Anastasia
King Zarkon of the Galra empire lost his only way in to the Kingdom of Altea. In his anger, he put a curse on the royal family. The young, adopted half Galran prince Keith disappeared when the palace was overrun, never to be seen again -- or so it seemed.
The only surviving princess, Allura, grieving for her child, offers a reward for Keith's safe return.
Con artists, Lance and his best friend, Hunk plan to pawn off a phony to the princess, hoping to reap the rewards. They hold auditions and choose an orphan man who has a remarkable resemblance to the missing prince -- all the way down to his fluffy Galran ears.
Comments: Can anyone say Anastasia AU?! I waited with baited breath for each chapter to come out and I was not once disappointed. I love the integration of the different alien races in this timeless story, it all works out so well. Keith just wants to find his mommy and I just want to cry. Also Kidge bros are still my fav as always.
out of orbit by rbillustration
Word count: 78,135 (19/19)
Summary: Dragged apart by Haggar’s attack on the wormhole, the paladins and Alteans struggle to survive and find one another again. Luck has placed them all within the same galaxy… but their fortune ends there. Lance is stranded with a badly-injured Shiro and his relief at finding their leader still accompanying him soon turns to terror. Keith may be the only who can rectify the situation - but the Galra have him in their grasp, and they don’t want to kill him. They want him as one of their own.
Comments: ANGST. SO MUCH ANGST. A brainwashed Galra!Keith plus a Possessed!Shiro. This is the perfect recipe for disaster if I ever saw one. If lots of blood bothers you proceed with caution. I love stranded fics.
A good song rec for this one is Darkside.
VLD Rec Lists: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7]
Here’s a Fic Masterlist for my other fandoms.
#voltron fic rec list#Klance fic#sheith fic#keith whump#VLD#galra keith#langst#in your orbit#slow burn au#fanfiction#psychic au#wrong number au#highschool au#Cam's Voltron Fic Rec#mine#Moonset Deep#magic#fic: recoil/release#fic: synergy#of the pack series#vfr
483 notes
·
View notes
Text
29 Neibolt ST (Monster Roommate AU) CH 27
FINALLY FINISHED THIS!! So the monsters try really hard to figure out why they aren't monsters any more. Turns out they cant focus for five minutes without going off on a weird tangent about washing machines and butts. Papawise is gonna have to try to get these idiots to be productive. Good luck papa you’re gonna need it.
CH 27
Focusing is Hard
“Are we going to address this human problem now?”
Freddy and Drac sat on the couch already breaking into Chucky’s beer stash as Leech plopped herself onto Robert’s lap on the loveseat. the former clown brought a long arm around her and nuzzled his nose into her drying hair. “Mmm you smell just like me” he growled. “I wonder why” Leech giggled and kissed his jaw line. Freddy nearly gagged.
“*AHEM* SO is that a no on the problem solving then?” he asked the ex-nosferatu.
“Fred like either of us have any idea how this happened at all.”
“Well did you two do anything? I dunno like did you activate some curse or something? Maybe pissed off a witch?”
“What witch is powerful enough to turn Pennywise human? Let alone a whole town full of over powered evil.” Leech crossed her legs over the side of the chair getting comfy.
“I love it when you call me powerful.” Robert beamed with pride from having his ego stroked.
“Focus Bob” She scolded him.
As they discussed their options there was a clatter in the basement followed by a wheeze. Everyone froze solid looking at eachother and back down the hall. “Do we go investigate?” the nosferatu asked hesitantly.
“Isn’t that usually how humans get killed by us?” Freddy grumbled.
“Holy shit being on the other side of the horror movie sucks balls” Leech picked up a beer bottle in defence peering down the hall.
“I’ll go. You all would be such easy targets.” Robert rolled his eyes. His companions’ fears starting to annoy him.
“Like hell you are! We all know what happens when the prey splits up!” Leech grabbed his arm before he could march into any more danger.
“Lets just all go together then. Can’t be anything too terrible with everyone being turned human.” Freddy handed Dracula a broken piece of wood who glanced over at his roommate in confusion.
“We’re so going to die” the ex nosferatu groaned.
The former monsters approached the door leading to the basement where they could hear more panting and wheezing which seemed to get louder and louder. Leech hesitantly opened the door which made an extremely ominous creak causing the ex-vampire to grip her bottle tighter. They peered into the basement, everyone silently cursing Penny for making his house as equally scary as himself. Something wet and dark flopped out of the well gasping like a fish out of water. Robert felt both his arms get grabbed by Leech and Freddy at once while Drac clung to his roommate from behind. The weight of 3 grown adults clinging to his silk robe like baby sloths nearly pulled the former eldritch to the ground and he gave them all an angry scowl. “Really?!” he hissed. The wet thing began to stand it looked like a person, a very tired and pissed off person.
“I just walked for MILES through the freezing sewer, so you MORONS better tell me what the hell is going on right now or there will be consequences!” they said.
The man finally came into view. He looked quite different without the giant red nose.
“U-Uncle Penny?” Leech stuttered the man rung out the wet shirt he had clearly killed someone for as there was a large blood stain on the collar.
“This is what you look like as humans? Jesus Junior those pants tight enough?”
“Theyre Freddy’s…” Robert looked off to the side.
“Actually I think those are mine!” Leech pulled at his pants to inspect the pocket “Yeah theres the hole in the pocket!”
“Leechie why does Krueger have your pants?” If Robert still had fangs theyd be out.
“Oh calm down Fred and I swap clothes all the time.” she waved him off and rolled her eyes at his jealousy.
“Yeah Fangs does laundry at our place cause you won’t get a washer dryer”
“There’s a wash tub right over there!” Robert snarled at the former dream demon in annoyance. First it was wifi and microwaves now its modern washing machines! How is anyone going to be scared when they walk into the haunted house on Neibolt if theyre greeted with the scent of clean laundry and hot pockets.
“The 1800s were over a long ass time ago Bob!” Leech complained she had been trying to get him to change his mind on this for weeks now.
“I am trying to cultivate an atmosphere that generates fear! Dryer sheets and laundry detergent create the opposite effect Leech!”
“Sheesh Junior you take your interior decorating a bit too seriously.” his uncle rolled his eyes at his younger counterpart.
“Will all of you please drop the washer/dryer thing”
“IS THE CLOWN FINALLY GETTING A WASHING MACHINE?” came Tiffany’s voice from upstairs
“Look you’re in the minority here Robert, just let us get something basic.”
“Yeah Jingles, that way Fangs will stop leaving her pants at our place.” Freddy grumbled.
“Hey now I remember you saying you liked those pants and I let you borrow them!” Leech snapped.
“Yeah alright fine. Theyre good pants, I mean look at how great Jingles’ ass looks in them!” Freddy spun Robert around and slapped his ass howling in laughter at Robert’s enraged reaction.
“O să discutăm acum despre problema noastră?” ((will we talk about our problem now?)) Dracula asked. He had no idea what anyone was saying or why they were all humans all he knew was that he wanted to get back to being immortal as soon as possible.
“I dont speak French Dracula!” Uncle Penny grumbled.
“Oh my god how does that remotely even sound like French? Its fucking Romanian!” Leech snapped at him defending her extremely confused mentor.
“Whatever. Can all of you focus for just five minutes?! That’s all I’m asking for here. As soon as we figure out why the hell I can’t shape shift you can all go back to blabbering about eachother’s butts!” The older eldritch groaned in frustration.
“Ok but you have to agree theyre great pants though!”
“FIVE MINUTES KRUEGER!”
“Pff youre asking a lot, Freddy came over to do the same thing and within the first hour we all ended up being violently attacked by the cat and Robert lost a finger.” leech held up Robert’s injured hand.
“You lost a finger Junior? How do you fuck up this bad?”
“THATS WHAT I SAID!” Tiffany yelled once again from upstairs
“By the way, there a reason the dolls arent joining us in figuring this out?” Freddy asked Leech ignoring the enraged Uncle Penny’s complaints.
“A) I dont think they want to, and B) I’m pretty sure from the Rob Zombie music blasting from their room and the creaking bed springs theyre uh..busy..” Leech said.
“Gross” Robert snarled.
“JINGLES YOU’RE NOT MUCH BETTER!” Chucky shouted down.
“Unbelievable. You couldnt even do one minute of concentration! Were never getting back to normal jesus.” The elder eldritch tilted his head up at the ceiling growing tired of the other monsters constant distractions.
“Fine where do you suggest we start because we’re all out of ideas here.” Leech snapped.
“Did you even try having any ideas in the first place?”
The monsters opened their mouths to speak and immediately closed them. Ok so maybe they haven’t been the most proactive about this.
“Can we at least take this out of the basement then and get more beer before we start? I think I’m going to develop asthma from all the dust down here.” Leech began to walk back up the stairs to the kitchen. “You boys can either join me or stay down here in the dark. I’m out.” The other monsters shrugged and followed suit.
—————-
“Ok so we need to narrow down who is powerful enough to turn an entire town of powerful entities into humans.” Uncle Penny began drinking the beer Leech had got him from Chucky’s nearly empty stash.
“I can think of no one.” the younger vampire said.
“You haven’t been with us very long Leechie.” Robert patted her on the head.
“Wait isnt today Halloween?” Freddy asked having a rare appiphany.
“Yeah so?” Uncle Penny took another long swig of the beer surpriesed that he liked it so much.
“Yeah doesnt that mean certian supernatural parties are stronger today?” Leech asked
“Oh fuck ive heard of this before. Did any of you break the rules of Halloween?” Freddy asked, he had seen something like this in another town once. People who broke tradition on Halloween that night had bad things happen to them.
“There’s rules to this holiday?” Robert raised an eyebrow and tried to drink Leech’s beer grimacing at the tast and shoving it back into her hands. Everyone turned to him and glared.
“What did you do Jingles”
“Why are you accusing me?”
“Bob what did you fucking do?”
—————-
“YOU STOLE HIS WHAT?”
“I thought he was a regular child!!” Robert snarled. He recalled a small boy in an orange scarecrow outfit in the haunted house that just was not scared of him. He tried everything eventually getting frustrated and snatching the boy’s candy bag and vanishing to go find his mate. He had no idea he had just stolen from Samhain, who for one night a year was the most powerful being in existance.
“Wait hold on you fucking stole the spirit of Halloween’s bag of candy after you couldnt scare him because your feelings were hurt!?” Leech had hopped out of his lap and pushed her hands through her hair.
“He had no fear and I couldnt just let him get away! All the candy bars had razors in them anyway..”
“Where’s the fucking bag now Robert??” She grabbed his robe in her fists.
“In my lair I was going to eat around the knives!”
“Jesus christ Junior you must have really pissed him off!”
“How do we fix this then just give him back the bag?” Freddy asked.
“That’s a start….” The ex vampire took a long drink from her beer.
“Where would we find the little brat though?” Uncle Penny asked.
“Probably where the celebrations are thickest. That’s where I’d go for a holiday about me.” Freddy added.
“Looks like were going to have to do a traditional human halloween then. Let’s get some costumes carve some pumpkins and get me another god damn drink.” Leech sighed, it was going to be a long difficult day.
—————-
“Ok so what im thinking is if the Cenobites are still throwing their big ass Halloween party then thats probably a good place to start since that thing is going to be huge. Which means if were going everyone is going to first need a costume.” Leech and the rest of the former monsters stood in the center of town finally making it out of the house.
“Yeah one, none of us were invited and two, theres going to be nothing left in the stores. Except the sexy stuff and there is no way im going as sexy thing that should never be made sexy…maybe Jingles will though that seems like his wardrobe of choice.” Freddy grumbled keeping a firm grasp on the poor overwhelmed Prince Vlad.
“Well sorry for being too tall to fit into your clothes which are made for small women” Robert sneered at the former dream demon. He was getting strange looks left and right for his overly tight pants/ pink bathrobe combo. Leech took note of it when a few girls stopped and stared while giggling amongst themselves. The ex vampire grabbed her mate’s arm glaring daggers at the women. Robert put two and two together and shot her an amused smile “Really?” he asked her. “We need to get you some real clothes” she grumbled.
“How are we getting into this party then if we weren’t invited?” Uncle Penny interrupted them. “We’re not exactly equipped for sneaking in and out of places anymore.”
“Crashing will be easy, its taking on an all powerful being as humans that will be extremely difficult.” Leech stated. she had crashed many a party in her teens when she used to deal pot to rich kids getting in wouldnt be a problem.
“And what are we gonna do when we catch the twerp? Shake and yell?” the older eldritch asked.
“I have a feeling rattling his brains and screaming at him is probably a bad way to appease the god of Halloween to change us back” Freddy added.
“Well I’m not saying I’m sorry” Robert growled. There was no way he was going to beg some young pagan god to forgive him.
“You do realise as humans we can die now right? You better fucking say youre sorry Bob” his mate scolded him.
“Seriously Jingles what if were stuck like this for a whole year?” freddy added realizing the entire monster population depended on the proudest thing in existence to admit he fucked up. They were doomed.
“I do not beg.”
“Ha! That’s a load bullshit! I’ve heard it!” Leech laughed.
“Leech! that’s….thats different…” Robert hissed
“we’ve all heard it Jingles anyone with a drain has heard it at some point.”
The former clown looked off to the side and grumbled something unintelligble.
“All right look, we need to hurry up and get something for us to wear to this thing. I’ll take the clowns. Freddy you try to handle your roommate.”
“Good luck with that.” Uncle Penny said eyeing the frantic looking prince.
“Just call me when he eventually breaks something” Leech grabbed the eldritchs and made her way to the nearest store.
—————-
“Robert what the hell is that?” both Leech and “Uncle Bob” as he decided to call himself, stared at Robert Gray in confusion as he exited a near by restroom
“You said buy a costume.”
“Ok but I thought youd get another clown costume why the hell are you Spiderman?” his mate placed her fingers over her temples. Of course hed pick out something like this.
“I’m a giant spider trapped as a man I thought it was fitting.”
“Yeah but I’m going as a ring master and…..you know what never mind, fuck me for trying” leech groaned it was hard enough to control two eldritch horrors in a crowded Halloween store already, trying to coordinate anything was off the table at this point.
“I’m going as the devil!” Uncle Bob announced proudly pointing to his horns.
“Yeah Im pretty sure Phil is not going to be too excited about that.”
“Ah fuck Phil. He thinks hes hot shit with his whole goat yoga scheme right now. This is how a real lure is done!” the former clown gestured to the red and black suit he was wearing smugly.
“Did you…put paint…on your face?” Leech sniffed the air, it reeked of paint fumes.
“Yeah! Spray paint! It burns a little but man do I look good!”
“I think the fumes are going to your head old man” Robert folded his long arms over the spider logo on his chest.
“Jesus christ neither of you would survive a day as humans without my help.” Leech grumbled as the clowns began to argue once again. She ignored the inevitable chaos and got out her phone groaning loudly over the 6 missed calls from Freddy. No doubt they were about something Dracula had done. Robert yellped when Uncle Bob whacked him on the head with his plastic pitch fork. Leech debated taking a photo of them for later blackmail but decided she should probably find out what the hell happened to Freddy first. As she was about to call him back she doubled over in pain. Something just went wrong in her abdomen. Something she’d never thought she’d feel again.
------------
OH NOOOO what ever could it beee! Poor Leech she’s had to put up with so much today. Penny better try to make it up to her.
#pennywise#pennywise x oc#it fanfiction#pennywise fanfiction#horror fanfiction#slasher fanfiction#slashers#freddy krueger#1990s pennywise#papawise#papa penny#robert gray x oc
10 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
pakyutnasuperman
My story isn't over yet;
hayleylovestaylorswift13
hayley 💘 eras tour 6/16
skinny-vet
Skinny Vet
kidheart
KidHeart