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luvistqrzzz · 8 months

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August slipped away into a moment in time 'cause you were never mine

the summer i loved you — jake x f.reader wc — 3.3K

summary — where August was the month of new beginnings and first loves but mostly, heartbreak.

genre — friends to not lovers, second lead syndrome, angst, fluff, summer au, august inspired

warnings — sad ending, jake is a huge dee eye see kay (🤢🤢), profranity, heartbreak, not proofread

an — um guys haha def dont come at me for the ending 😊😊 but omg this had been in my drafts for a while now n im glad im able to release this in august ✌🏽😈 have fun reading pookies (1 fucking am rn imma die help)

ps — ☆ a visualizer cuz why tf am i extra ?!

August is a weird month. It seemed to rush by you like a dream and yet at the same time it felt like the last period of every Friday, not finishing fast enough. You'd prefer the former.

August reminded you of memories— pretty but mostly ugly ones or maybe when the hurt in your heart ran so deep, even the happy memories turned ugly, didn't they?

It was not a month you enjoyed, you didn't like summers, you didn't like feeling like new beginnings and first love.

August reminded you of it all... It reminded you of Jake.

It was 1st of August when you realized what those weird feelings were.

‘Y/N!’ You opened the door to the sound of your name, only to be met with a tired and almost teary eyed Jake. He looked up at you, mustering a small smile as you stood before him your mouth agape.

‘A-are you okay?!’ you asked, pulling him into your house.

‘Um. Not… really’, your friend replied, scratching his neck nervously. ‘It’s just… she kinda broke up with me.’

She. he didn’t even need to mention her name and yet you let the word pierce your heart, a little. Kang Eunji. Jake’s girlfriend, well, ex girlfriend.

It was her, always her. It wasn’t unusual for you to hear that they both had a fight but you never thought they'd break up. ‘What? Are you being for real?!’ You were shocked to say the least. Jake and Eunji were what people deemed to be the “power couple” at school. They wouldn’t break up, or could they?

He nodded and sat on the couch, ‘We were fighting over one of those petty matters again, she was angry why I was so busy. It was about soccer practice of course! And when I kind of lost it, she said we were over.’ His voice caught in his throat before he let out a small sob.

Your heart sank as you patted his back and pulled him close into an embrace, ‘Ssh, it’s okay’, you ran small circles on his, ignoring the butterflies set free in your stomach at the close contact.

You could never understand what went on in their relationship. This may have been the first time they broke up but it surely wasn’t the first time Jake came to your house on the verge of tears.

You hated seeing him this way, like a broken record.

‘What will I do now, Y/N?’ ‘You just broke up, it’s not the end of the world. Plus, you have the entire summer before you, right? We’ll figure a way out,’ You broke the hug, looking straight into his eyes, trying to reassure him.

But they all meant nothing. Getting reassured of a broken heart didn’t mend the damage, you knew better than him. Jake nodded nonetheless, wiping away the stray tears, ‘Goodness, I feel so dumb for just crying like this.’ ‘don’t be. You are allowed to feel your emotions.’

He gave a small smile in your direction and your heart skipped a beat.

‘So’, you turned towards the television, searching for a distraction. ‘You wanna binge watch something? Or maybe some Doraemon?’

Jake grinned, ‘I’d love that! What would I do without you, Y/N?’

You let out an almost sad chuckle, ‘I am the coolest best friend ain’t I?’ The word best friend left a bad taste in your mouth.

4th August was when Jake realized the bookstore was his safe place.

Clink! The door to the bookstore opened with a small chime. You looked up from your position at the counter only to find Jake walk into the shop.

He smiled before taking a seat beside you, much to your surprise. It wasn't unusual for him to drop by the store. But mostly he came for borrowing a book or having a quick chat with you.

But never like this.

'So, how are you doing?' You asked, turning towards where he sat, fidgeting with a pen. It was a slow lazy afternoon with barely any customers.

'Oh, uh, I'm fine. At least I'm trying to be. We had so many things planned and like, it feels weird. We were good for each other…' he kept on rambling about his latest break up.

You could feel your heart clench a litte. You understood why Jake was doing so but it didn't help. It didn't help that there were two broken hearts in the same room. It was always you and the second lead syndrome against the world.

Sometimes you really wondered what you had done to be stuck in the loophole of falling for a friend.

You had been friends with Jake since middle school, always finding yourself blush whenever he was around.

The first time you tried confessing to him during Valentine's Day in freshman year, your hand baked cake (which you had prepared for hours) got destroyed. You kind of gave up on him, treating him as a friend.

Well, that was until Eunji came along last year. Seeing Jake with her brought about a fresh wave of emotions you think your heart had forgotten.

It hadn't.

The bookstore was Jake's hideaway from the world. He loved everything about it. Loved how calming it was and the people who came in always greeted him with a smile. He was a quaint place, maybe mysterious in a sense that Jake didn't want to uncover the secrets it hid.

He liked how you let him sit there for the entirety of your shift. But mostly he loved the conversations.

Throughout the summer, Jake couldn't remember the number of times he found you sitting with him, flipping through some book as you both chatted away, be it in the lazy afternoon or under the evening sky, where the buzz of the grasshopper was the only thing he could hear. They felt weirdly intimate, like the secrets he used to keep as a kid. He almost wanted to gatekeep them.

'Sorry do I bore you here?' You asked one day. It was a question bothering you for a while.

Jake frowned, 'What? No. Of course not, Y/N. You could never bore me.' But you were unconvinced, 'No, like, who spends their summer sitting in a small little barely functioning bookstore except maybe be. You must have a lot of plans, right?'

'I wouldn't lie. I haven't ever spent such a quiet summer but turns out, I like a lot. Too much for my own sake. The bookstore isn't boring. Rather, it gives me a sense of escape from reality.' He gave you a reassuring smile.

'Also', Jake added as a second thought. 'You aren't boring Y/N. You just make it all loads better.'

Your phone went off with a sharp ring. Your alarm wasn’t set to ring today. Who could it be? You groaned as you sleepily grabbed it from the nightstand. Without even checking the name, you picked up the call, ‘Hello? Who?’ ‘It’s me Jake, you dummy!’ His excited voice came from the other side.

You yawned, ‘What do you want?’ you checked the time, ‘It’s literal fucking half past four.’ ‘More reason to wake up, right?!’

‘Shut up, I’m hanging up and-’ ‘No no! I really did plan a surprise. Get ready, please, just for today. Please’, he begged from the other side.

Now, you were definitely wide awake, upon hearing his voice. He had planned what…? ‘Okay but the surprise better be good.’ ‘Also! Keep your bicycle ready.’

‘There you are!’ Jake greeted you with a wide smile as you grumbled and walked down the road with your bike where he stood. ‘You don’t get to smile like that after pulling me up from sleep’, you muttered angrily.

But really who were you to complain? It was Jake and you couldn’t deny the fact that you were genuinely excited for what was coming. It was always an adventure when it came to him.

‘You won’t be disappointed, trust me’, he said, boarding his bike and motioning for you to do the same.

You breathed out a calming sigh, looking ahead at the empty road. Thanks to summer, the sun was already somewhere there on the horizon, spreading a fuzzy glow around you. Everything looked simpler, softer. In the light of the dawn, your thoughts felt less complicated, you almost felt it would be easy to sort out your feelings. Would it?

You turned to look at Jake, cycling in peace, a small grin on his face, ‘Told you! I sometimes go out on early morning rides, especially if I have a lot on my mind.’

‘So, why are you taking me then?’ ‘I don’t know. I just have a feeling you’ll like this place’, he shrugged. ‘Plus, I like spending time with you’, Jake added as an afterthought.’

A blush crept into your cheeks at his words. Stop over thinking you scolded yourself. But you couldn’t help the hope blossom in you. False hope.

‘Here we are’, Jake spread his arms wide, showing you the view. After half an hour of cycling through empty streets and quiet places, you found yourself on a small hill. It was pretty abandoned, the only sounds that reached your ears were the chirping of birds and the whistling of trees in the cool summer morning.

In front of you lay your town and the forests beyond it. Those familiar buildings looked all new when you saw them from top of a hill. It radiated calmth… and comfort.

Or was the latter because of the person beside you?

‘Thanks’, you spoke in a soft whisper but then you felt a hand tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. Your heart stopped as you turned towards Jake looking at you with a fond smile and slowly pulled you closer, resting his head on your shoulder.

You couldn't process what he was doing. Was it all intentional? No, it was the usual playful Jake you knew, right? But the usual playful Jake wasn't like this. He had pulled you into a hug several times but never like this.

Never so tender in his actions that it made you think otherwise.

'I like the view so much. I hope you do too. It's just… very special, I had never shown it to Eunji either. People ruin things', he sighed, looking ahead.

You scoffed as an attempt to lighten the atmosphere, 'So, I'm not a person?' 'No, you're Y/N. It's an entire special thing to be in itself.'

You didn't know what it meant anymore. The secret smiles, the small actions. You weren't oblivious, you saw it all but your face masked it behind the friendship.

But was it even friendship? You hoped it wasn't. You hoped you both had crossed the line of being "just friends".

It was the 20th of August when Jake liked mint chocolate ice cream.

He touched his cheek as a familiar warmth flooded in at the sight of you. What was happening to him? Ever since the day on the hill, he had been feeling weird. Be it when he visited the bookstore or when you both hung out during the day (or night).

The way your laugh sounded in his ears, when you smiled, he noticed the way his heart skipped a beat. But he loved the most when through the afternoons you talked. Just talk, nothing and everything.

Jake had never felt so connected to anyone. You both had always been friends but seeing a friends standing before him, two ice creams in hand shouldn't make Jake blush.

But it did.

'Hey Mr.Zoned out!' You snapped your fingers before him, pulling him away from his thoughts. You handed him his ice cream while joining him on the curb.

He made a disgusted face at the cone you were holding, 'Ugh. Mint chocolate.' You slapped his shoulder playfully, 'Yah! You are a person with zero taste.'

'Oh really? Lemme try it then', Jake replied, challenging you. He scooped a bit with the plastic spoon before closing his eyes and tasting it.

'Ew', he gagged. 'This tastes like fucking toothpaste', he wiped his mouth in disgust.

'Shut up, no need to be so over dramatic about it all', you chuckled and rolled your eyes.

Jake looked at you as you continued eating and looking at the street in front. It was almost 5 in the evening, the kids were out playing but their shouts were only distant noise because all he could hear was your voice. All he could see was you. You weren't bright like the background but in his eyes, you were glowing. The sun falling on your face, as if highlighting only you in his eyes.

Almost as if on instinct, his hand slowly reached out to your free one, his fingers finding yours and intertwining them together.

You stopped, your heart beating way too fast, you could almost feel the redness of your cheeks.

What was happening? What was Jake doing? Why was he doing this?

It felt wrong, you knew it. Your intuition could tell it. This was something you had waited forever to happen, but you knew this couldn't be.

Let go of his hand, Y/N. Let go let go let go let go… don't let go.

You didn't, too foolish and in love to walk away. And maybe that was the first mistake you had made.

The first rain of August came on the 25th.

Why was rain often associated with sadness? No, rain didn't mean sadness.

Because on that one day of August, you stood outside the bookstore looking at the dark clouds, the rain gave you hope.

You sighed, no wonder your mother kept on insisting you to take an umbrella. Now, there you were, standing in front of the closed shop.

But a bright yellow thing caught your eye, standing out in the dull gray background. You squinted your eyes as the figure came closer.

Jake.

Your stomach jumped. Had he come for you?

He ran through the rain, his bright smile evident as you stared at him in wonder.

'What?' He asked. You shook your head, 'You…?' 'I came for you. You always forget your umbrella.' He completed the sentence for you.

Your mouth formed an "O" but a soft smile spread across your lips.

'Here', he handed you the spare umbrella in hand and took hold of your wrist, pulling you into the rain.

You shrieked, 'At least let me open mine first.' He laughed at your sight, moving closer and holding his umbrella over you.

You noticed every single thing, the things you had noticed a hundred times before. But mostly you noticed his little actions.

The ones that made you fall for him all over again.

'Fuck, if I catch a cold, it'll be your fault, Sim Jake', you threatened the boy standing in front of your porch, grinning. You both had recklessly ran in the rain as a result the umbrellas had been pretty useless… but it was fun.

'Don't worry', he stepped forward, a certain fondness flickering in his eyes. 'I'll be there to bring you the meds.'

It happened in a fraction of a second, swiftly, Jake bent down and gave a sudden kiss on your cheek. It was soft as a feather, almost like it didn't happen.

But you felt it. You almost felt dizzy, her cheeks heating you. You brought your hands to where he had just kissed you. It had happened, hadn't it?

But before you could say anything, Jake turned around, his head hung low in embarrassment but his stomach full of butterflies and sprinted in the opposite direction.

Had he meant it?

As Jake walked his way back home, his head filled with thoughts of you, a sudden buzz of his phone. He took it out, expecting a text from you.

But no… It was someone else.

His heart dropped. A contact that hadn't been there since 1st of August.

Eunji.

"jake, im so sorry."

But what followed after that day was something you had always feared.

He ignored you. Every text, every call, no reply. Did he just get awkward? But even an awkward Jake wouldn't be this rude. Or was he angry with you? You didn't even do anything.

The next time you saw Jake, three days later, was when you went on a grocery run.

You could spot him anywhere. 'Jake! Wait', you called out to him. He didn't stop. 'Omg, stop being a shit head would you?! Stop fucking ignoring me!' You huffed, annoyed.

That's when you saw his figure slowly turn towards you. 'Sorry', he muttered. You ran a hand through your hair. sorry? That's all he had to say?

'Look, if it's about that day then forget it. You-you never kissed me.' 'What? Of course not, it isn't about that day', he replied.

You looked at him confusedly, 'Huh? Then why, Jake? I had tried calling and texting you so many times but you couldn't bother to reply to me.'Your voice slowly rose.

'I was busy catching up with Eunji okay?!' his tone matching yours.

There came that name. Her name. Did you hear it correctly? What was she doing in this conversation?

'E-eunji…?' you looked at him, at loss of words. 'I thought yo-you were over her?'

He gave you a look of disbelief, 'No. That day she sent me a text and I realised… I wasn't.'

Why did the crack in your heart deepen? Why was it always you who got hurt?

And you couldn't help but ask, knowing the answer would make you feel worse, 'What about us then, Jake?'

'Us? Y/N what are you talking about? We are friends, we always have been. There is no us.'

There, the final blow. 'Why did you make me feel so special then? All for nothing? You know how much I like you, so much that everytime we spent time together this summer, I got my hopes up. I was so foolish, because of you Sim fucking Jaeyun. And that day you kissed me, I thought, finally you'll realize but no. It's always her, isnt it?', you didn't scream but the crack in your voice said it all.

And Jake remained silent through it all. because he knew he deserved 'So, this summer meant nothing to you?' You sniffed, a single tear rolling down your cheek.

'Nothing.' But you missed the flicker in his eyes. The flicker that said otherwise.

That it wasn't nothing, it was his eveything.

August 31st was when you lost it finally.

‘It was just a summer thing’, the words rang in your ear, loud and clear. They drowned the voices of all the chatter of classmates. ‘y/n? y/n? Are you okay?’ Lily asked beside you, furrowing her eyebrows in worry.

But you couldn’t respond to her, at that very moment, you thought you couldn’t do pretty much anything except look. Or rather stare at the sight unfolding before you. Before you knew it, the plastic cup fell from your hands, the beer splashing all over the floor and getting the attention of the people in the room, the attention of them.

In the haze, you met your eyes with his, the soft brown ones that you had fallen in love with, the one which enveloped you in warmth. But now they felt like they were hurting you, the annoyance in them.

A tear rolled down your cheek as you turned around. The room suddenly felt too small, the stares of the people felt accusing. You let go of Lily’s hand that gripped your wrist and ran in the opposite direction.

Did you hear footsteps behind you? Were they Jake’s? You hated to admit it but you wished they were. You wished that he was the one following you, the one who'd hold you back.

For once, prove it to you that you weren’t the second lead.

But he wasn’t there.

You found yourself rushing to the porch, the sounds fading out. But you could hear the blood pumping in your ears, the sound of your shallow breath that you had been holding for so long.

He wasn’t there. What did you even expect?

You were a summer thing for him… but he was your summer love.

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#enhypen imagines #jake imagines #— works !#enhypen x reader #enhypen angst #enhypen fanfiction #jake x reader #jake sim #enhypen jake #enhypen fanfics #enhypen au #enhypen scenarios #jake fanfic #enha fics #enha jake #enhypen oneshots

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skaikruswan · 2 years

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i absolutely adore lord meowpheus (the fic the name and the man) but it reminded me that I'm allergic to cat hair and i imagined morpheus in an attempt to impress reader pre relationship he overhears them mention that they'd love a cat but can't have one and in what he thinks is a stroke of genius appears as a cat to reader and is very confused as to why reader starts sneezing and looks upset when he's near im allergic to cat hair like he's allergic to emotions

A natural reaction

WC: 1,7 k Ao3

Relationship: Morpheus x reader

Notes: fluff, first meeting, a small misunderstanding, Lord Meowpheus

Dear anon, thanks for the prompt! As you may have noticed, I really enjoy writing Lord Meowpheus. I hope you enjoy!

If you liked this story, i have written others.

You have always wanted a cat; that’s no secret. As a child, you had constantly asked your parents, pestering them with questions. But why can’t I have a cat? What’s an allergy? Can we make it go away? No gift could compare to the glee of finally having your own cat. But nature had other plans and decided to screw you over.

You wish you could say that your dream of a cat had vanished, but it didn’t. You still spent hours watching cute cat videos, and you own more than one cute cat t-shirt. You still love listening to other people rambling about their cats.

Cats will always be on your mind. You’ve even talked to the handsome stranger about them. Morpheus. You feel your cheek grow warm as you remember your first meeting. You met him in the park, where he was sitting on a bench and staring blankly ahead as he threw bread at the pigeons.

“Hey. Do you like pigeons?” had been your brilliant first question, and in hindsight you can’t believe that you looked at a man almost too good-looking to be real and decided to use that line as an opening.

“I do not know. But feeding them is a somehow relaxing task. It allows me to rest, if only for a moment.” His voice had almost blown you away, a deep soothing baritone, and you knew that you needed to hear more.

“Well, I like cats,” you proudly announced. How you managed to keep the conversation going is beyond you.

Fortunately for you, this had not been your last meeting with him. You’ve always walked through the park, but it became special once you had your little meetings, with Morpheus feeding the pigeons while you usually talk about your day. Morpheus was a very attentive listener, and always asking how you were feeling, but rarely talked about himself. Each time you managed to learn something about him, to lure another detail out of him, you felt rather accomplished. You know that he has an older sister he really likes, an old friend living in London, and that his work colleagues are called Lucienne and Matthew. He doesn’t talk about his job, but something tells you that it’s rather stressful.

It has been a long day and jog into the park, grateful for the exercise. From far, you see a mop of messy dark hair and a back clad in black, and you smile. Sometimes Morpheus isn’t there, and you head home, a little disappointed but hey, everyone has responsibilities. This time, he’s there.

“I am glad you could make it,” he greets you, and each time he says things like that, you melt a little inside, feeling like the most important person in the world. You take a seat next to him.

“I am glad you’re still here,” you answer, and start talking about your day. It is late, later than usual, and the sun is starting to set, bathing the green glass with shades of gold.

“Don’t you think that this sunset looks purrfect?” You like cats and puns, and now you hope that you haven’t scared him off. His lips quirk as Morpheus let out a small snort, and you feel your heart skip a beat.

“It is a beautiful moment, and I am glad to share it with you.” You look forward, hoping that he can’t see the big blush on your cheeks.

Having random people feature in your dreams isn’t that unusual. You once dreamed about dancing with your crush in the rain. However, it still surprises you to see Morpheus.

“Look who the cat dragged into my dream?” you say, remaining consistent with your cat puns. Morpheus gives you an amused look, and credit where credit is due, your imagination really nailed him. He looks as incredible as he does in real life.

“I am going to be honest with you. I chose to appear in your dream.” Something about the candid manner he speaks to you gives you pause, and you inhale deeply.

“We must talk.” You almost want to throw bread at Dream-Morpheus for his terrible choice of words, but you nod, waving at the bench – your current dream was pretty ordinary, a lush park with blooming meadows and all sorts of trees. You try not to think too much about you dreaming of parks, with now Morpheus in it.

“It will sound extraordinary, but I need to explain something to you,” he begins, and now your curiosity is piqued.

It turns out that this was the understatement of the century.

You step into the park and nervously bounce from one foot to the other. Here you thought that you were just hanging out with a ridiculously attractive man, and it turns out that he’s the immortal ruler of the dream world. That would shock everyone.

You have to be fair; Morpheus has been nothing but understanding and respectful, answering your questions and giving you the space and time you needed. You still had your usual conversations in the park, and you wouldn’t change a thing about it. It feels a little like a courting in period drama.

“I really want a cat,” you groan, dragging a hand through your messy hair. A friend of yours just got a kitten and you are stuck between delight and envy. Sometimes, you really hate your body.

“I see,” Morpheus hums in thought, and you both sit in comfortable silence. If asked, Morpheus would tell you tales about places long gone and people who are nothing but dust. But sometimes you would simply enjoy each other’s company. You truly appreciate his patience, but then again, he had time to practice. Your heart is whispering for you to go for it, while your mind is still hesitating.

In your dream, you find yourself back in the park as usual, but this time, you are not alone. A lovely black cat is slowly approaching you, its golden eyes gleaming. It feels familiar, and you wonder if you know someone who has a black cat.

“Aren’t you the most gorgeous?” you coo, dropping to your knees and extending a hand. It may have been your imagination, but a smug look has crossed over the cat’s face. But before you could touch the cat and find out if its fur is as soft as it looks like, you feel the telltale prickling in your nose. Come on! You can’t believe that you’re still allergic in a dream! Then again, maybe it is a part of you, just like the sound of your voice or the color of your eyes. Anyway, it sucked.

“I am sorry kitty,” you say, blinking repeatedly as your eyes are simultaneously dry and almost watering. God, you hate your allergy. The cat lets out a concerned meow, taking one leisurely step toward you.

“Shoo!” you scream, cursing your luck. You wish you could touch it, but right now, it needs to leave, you lament internally as you let out a sneeze. The cat gives you an indignant look before hissing once, low and vicious, and then running away. This is why you can’t have things.

You wake up from your dream, disgruntled and disappointed.

You barely give any thought to the dream as you approach Morpheus at your usual spot. He simply acknowledges you with a nod and you think nothing about it as you sit down. Minutes pass as the silence grows more awkward. He sits perfectly still, and his expression is almost upset.

“Cat got your tongue?” you ask softly, only for Morpheus to let out a sound between a snort and a scoff. It’s a start.

“Did you have a nice dream?” he asks, and you can’t help but tilt your head in confusion. You didn’t expect the conversation to head into that direction. Moreover, shouldn’t he as king of dreams know all about your dreams?

“I dreamt about a beautiful black cat,” you answer, and from the corner of your eye, you see him angle his body a little towards you. Huh.

“It sucked that I couldn’t pet it. Can you believe that I am allergic even in my dreams?” you continue before it dawned on you. Maybe you could ask Morpheus to somehow make your allergy in your dreams disappear?

“You are allergic to cats?” he inquires, and you groan dramatically. Everyone knows about this, and you are so sick and tired of reminding yourself of it, that maybe you forgot to mention that small detail to him.

“Yes, and I hate it with a burning passion.” Why mother nature, why?

“I see.”

The black cat seems to wait for you, sitting on a bench, and you let out a long sigh. You really don’t want to shoo the cat again. Why did it come back in the first place?

You wait for your nose, eyes, or throat to act up, only to be pleasantly surprised when your body remains fine. Have your prayers been answered, at least in your dreams?

You extend your hand, giving the cat time to approach you. The cat nudges its head against you, and you gasp in glee. Gently, you let your fingers glide over its head and back, marveling at the soft fur. The cat tilts its head backward, urging you to stroke its chin, and you giggle as you do as it commands. It nuzzles your hand before it starts purring, and you give yourself a mental high-five. You are living the dream.

Too soon, it takes a few jumps away from you, and in a blink of an eye, Morpheus stands where the cat used to stand. You scream and immediately feel embarrassed.

“You’re the cat!” you exclaim. That explains why it felt so familiar. It makes sense that Morpheus can manipulate dreams, but the fact that he can take on different forms still surprises you.

“I am. I wanted to give you a surprise yesterday, not taking into consideration your allergy. My apologies,” Morpheus explains, and your jaw drops. That’s why he was almost moody today. You shooed Morpheus, Dream of the Endless. For a second, you want to take control over your dream and dig a hole to bury yourself.

“Thanks for trying and not giving up,” you say instead, tugging away a strand of your hair.

“For you, always.” He gives you a small smile and you feel your heart leap inside your chest. You are definitely a goner.

“See you tomorrow?” you ask hopefully, biting your lip.

“I would not miss it.”

#the sandman #morpheus x reader #dream of the endless #dream x reader #sandman x reader #my writing #my sandman fics #lord meowpheus

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popquizhot-shot · 1 year

Text

Haven't I-5

a/n :this is honestly a filler, but it's full of emotions and sadness and im actually really happy with how this came out<3 im so sorry it took literally two weeks but theres a lotta shit going on rn but thank you all so much for your comments and support i love all of you<33 Part 4-

When you’d fallen under, Joel felt a fear he’d only felt a few times in his life. And the fact that it was for you frightened him. This was why Tommy should have come.

But why over you? Was it because you reminded him of his girasol? Or was it because despite the arguments and the petty fights and horrible singing, he’d grown to care for you? It didn’t make sense, he’d met you two days ago, and one of the first things you’d done was argue with him.

You remind him of her. He couldn’t deny that. Your hair, the way you carried yourself. Your humour. Your eyes.

You shivered against him and his heart twisted as he felt your limbs shake. He held you tighter and reassured you. Ignoring the fact that there was a small chance you might not make it. You had spent quite a while in the water because he’d been searching for a way to get you out.

He didn’t want to think about you dying, Why? His heart screamed. Why do you care?

He didn’t need another failure on his hands. That was it.

His fingers that were splayed across your back felt a ridge? Or a bump. A tattoo. His fingers traced its shape.

Was this creepy? He slowly raised his head but you shifted and he jolted backwards. Creep.

“You okay?” your hoarse voice whispers. Shit she’s awake.

He just grunted in reply.

“Joel, you need sleep.” he can feel her lips moving over his shoulder.

“I’m not sleepy just yet, Mitch.”

“All that talk and you’ll drop off like the old man you are in five minutes.” you chuckle slowly.

“Shut up and sleep, jeez.” he hugs you tighter. Because it’s cold.

It’s freezing and he doesn’t want you to die because he doesn’t need more guilt because he’s got enough on his hands.

He thinks of Amy. Of her lovely brown hair and forest eyes that stare into the depths of his soul. He thinks of her rare smile and how she has no qualms with being ruthless. He thinks of how her voice is harsh and her glare is sharp, cutting. He thinks of Ellie. Sweet Ellie who’s become like his daughter. He huffs out a quiet laugh because Ellie is not sweet. She is thunder and rain. She is everything good and right and yet a powerful firecracker.

He knows they’re okay. He trusts Amy to take care of both herself and Ellie. But he needs to see it, because when he’s left to his own imagination, all he sees is death.

He needs you to be okay, because if you’re okay, then you’ll be able to take him to where his family is. To the people he loves.

He’s so lost in his thought he doesn’t notice his finger has been tracing the tattoo on your back and he stops as soon as he realizes. Idiot.

In a moment of insanity, he begins to hum. It’s a happy tune and he can feel your smile. It’s no Hank Williams or Johnny Cash. It’s a cheesy song that Sarah’s favourite band released.The very one she’d play non-stop so it got ingrained in his brain.

“Feel this love, my angel?” you ask him and his eyebrows shoot up.

“You know the stupid band?”

You nod, “Someone I knew loved the band. She’d play it everyday.”

There’s silence after that, and the only sound is the crackle of fire and the wind outside.

And then your croaky, hoarse voice rings out, “You…are, my fire.”

He groans, “You’re supposed to be asleep.”

“The one…desire.. Humour me Miller.”

For a moment he contemplates covering your mouth so you shut up but he just sighs, “....Believe.” his voice cracks and you stifle a laugh, “Shush.”

He clears his throat, “..Believe when I say-”

“I want it that way.” you finish in unison.

“Now shut up and sleep, Mitch.” he says

“You go to sleep, Miller.”

The hours go by as you both snark each other and try to ignore the looming presence of possible death, you talk until you fall asleep from exhaustion.

—--------

When the sun sets and it is night, you raise your head to look at Joel’s sleeping figure. This is creepy.

You can feel the sunflower tattoo on his upper back. He’d gotten it for you and you’d gotten a guitar tattooed for him. His eyes flutter beneath his eyelids and he’s murmuring in his sleep. It’s something he’d done ever since the outbreak started. Your eyes roam his face and take in everything that has changed, and everything that remained. His full lips are chapped and his beard is still patchy. His brown hair had greyed over the years and it suited him. His fingers still twitched when he slept and he snored softly.

You drop your head and grit your teeth. After years of people gawking at your face, you scars didn’t faze you anymore. But now, you wish the face he looked at wasn’t the disfigured abomination that scared the shit out of little children. You wish your face was what it was before, the one that Joel had fallen in love with.

Years of building a wall around yourself proved useless because now you were just the foolish, insecure girl who still had hope. At this moment, you were not Mitch. You were not the woman behind the mask that the people in Jackson looked up to. You were sweet little girasol. Sunflower. The sweet girl who trusted too easily and wasn’t capable of shutting the fuck up. Joel always brought out that side of you because that was who he had fallen in love with. You felt stupid and pathetic because all that girl longed for was to be noticed, loved. To be someone’s first choice. She wanted her family and peace. She wanted to waltz with her husband and sing along to atrocious music with her daughter. She wanted heart wrenching arguments that ended in mumbled apologies and frantic kisses. She wanted to comfort her daughter and do her makeup.

You clench your jaw. That girl was the one who would get left behind if there was a crisis. She wasn’t fast enough. That girl was the one who people took advantage of. You were that girl no longer.

“You hungry?” Joel’s voice pulls out of your thoughts and you look up to find him staring at you.

You start to shake your head but your stomach grumbles and he chuckles, “I found canned food in the kitchen.”

“I know, Miller. I put them there. Let’s eat. I’m starving.”

As he rolls onto his back and sits up, you can see the tattoo. Yellow and brown etched onto his skin. It was a mutual gift for each other on your fifth wedding anniversary.

“Can you hand me my shirt?” you ask him.

“He reaches over and pats the grey fabric, “It’s still a bit damp. Here take this.” He gives you his brown coat. As you put the jacket on and try and tame your hair, he wears his shirt and jeans and then heads to the kitchen. Leaving you alone and draped in his jacket.

“So, what was your life like?” you ask him, because you can’t help yourself. You shove a forkful of whatever is on the plate into your mouth.

He freezes mid-chew and you resist the urge to look away. But you keep looking at him, no mask on, practically naked. Eating dinner made by his careful hands.

With a gulp he answers, “Content. Happy, I’d say. I was a contractor.” he pauses and rubs his left hand, “I..had a family.”

You hum in reply, “Were you still as grumpy as you are now?”

It shocks you to see a small lazy grin form on his face, “Sometimes, but my lady always made me feel better.”

You raise an eyebrow, and he stutters, “N-No I mean, not like that.”

If your memory serves you right, sometimes it was like that.

“Forgive me, but I find it hard to believe you were married.” you’re being stupid. You’re riling him up. It’s foolish and immature.

His lips quirk up. It’s unnerving, “For a long time, I couldn’t believe it myself. But she and my daughter were my whole world.”

You knew better than to ask about Sarah, so you just smiled, “They seem nice.”

You fully expect him to flinch or turn away when you smile because it looks like a grimace. Many people did.

He does nothing, only placing his plate on the table. It doesn’t faze him.

“Most people look away.” you tell him.

His eyes bore into your own, “I’m not most people.”

The silence is calming yet deafening. He’s so close yet so far away and all you have to do is tell him your name. All you have to do is turn around and take the jacket off and he’ll know.

He breaks the silence, “We’ll leave tomorrow morning, I reckon your clothes have already dried by now. That is, if you’re okay with me calling a few shots?”

You snort, “Sure, Miller.”

He nod, “Alright, Mitch.”

:@daddy-din @ephemerensis@charlyrmv@bellaramseysbitch@tripovertiff@im-constantly-fangirling@pussy-f41ry@corvusmorte@mrknifess @corpsebridenightamare@chesirecat000@glshmbl@jbcalway@o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi@glshmbl @starkleila @chamomileh0ney @nameisvaishali

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #the last of us #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #tlou hbo #haven't i

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bullet-prooflove · 8 months

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Polaroid: Bottles x Reader

Tagging: @darqchilddaydreamz @librarian1002 @prettyinpunk85 @thanossexual @proceduralpassion @crazy4chickennuggets @callsignartemis @kmc1989 @littlestroman @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @lunamoon

It isn’t until you’re going through Bottles’ wallet looking for a couple of dollars for the takeout that you come across the polaroid from the community BBQ. There had been a guy going around taking snapshots with his polaroid camera to sell. You’d forgotten about it completely until this moment.

The two of you are sitting side by side on the picnic bench, Bottles’ arm slung around your shoulders, a beer in his hand and a paper cup in yours. You remembered that it wasn’t long after that that he had kissed you on your doorstep, that he’d made love to you until the early hours of the morning, drawing out your pleasure until you combusted like star.

You hear the bathroom door open behind you and glance over your shoulder to see him clad in one of your sage-coloured towels and nothing else. It hangs low on his hips, the beads of moisture rolling down his muscular chest as he steps towards you.

“What did you find?” He asks, using his palm to push the wet hair away from his face. You turn to show him, ass resting against the kitchen table, his wallet still clasped in your hand.

“I had no idea you were so sentimental.” You tell him, with a teasing lilt.

He smiles as he looks down at picture in your hand before he takes it from you and returns it to the safety of his wallet. The two of you have never put a label on the relationship, he thinks you want to, but your history has taught you to tread carefully. He knows that it’s on him to lay his cards out on the table.

“I like having a part of you with me.” He tells you softly as he sets his wallet back down upon the kitchen table. “When I’m having a shitty day, I take it out and it reminds that there’s something good in the world, that I have a woman who loves me as much as I love her.”

You see the honesty in his eyes as he looks at you. There is no doubt in his mind that this is how he feels, and it makes something inside of you soar. Your fingertips trail over the line of his jaw as he leans in close, his body caging you in.

“Christ…”

You can feel the heat rolling off his skin as that wicked grin of his tips up the edges of his mouth. There’s a heat in his gaze, one that sends a pulse of anticipation rushing through you.

“You wanna fuck me again, don’t you?” He says, his mouth brushing over yours as his hips press into the apex of your thighs, parting them.

He’s hard already, you can feel his erection through the fabric of the towel as he rocks slowly against your molten core, his fists gripping the material of the silk robe you’re wearing.

“So emotional intimacy does it for you.” he teases, his lips ghosting over the corner of your mouth. “I’ll bear it in mind.”

“Say it again.” You request, your fingers seeking out the towel before you undo it completely. It slips from his waist, landing on the tiles underneath his feet.

“I love you sweet girl.” He whispers against your lips as he unties the belt of your robe. It falls open, revealing your naked form underneath. He uses gentle palms to push the fabric down over your shoulders until you’re completely bare for him. “Now let me show you how much.”

Love Bottles? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

#bottles goggles #bottles x you #bottles x reader #alex barone #bottles mayans #bottles mayans mc

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angelguk · 2 years

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→ the things i never told you — a jeongguk scenario [02]

member: jeon jeongguk

word count: 9.1k

genre: college!au + smut + fluff + slight crack + best friends to lovers (idiots to lover really)

warnings: mad pining but both side is oblivious / jk and oc like each other but there’s a misunderstanding between them / jealousy / taehyung is an instigator / future smut / it’s a no nut november fic so pretend it’s november plz / taehyung as the worst™ / oc is not a girl's girl im afraid (jealousy is a disease and she is chronically ill!!)

soundtracks: boy, (offonoff) + i love my boyfriend, (princess chelsea) + is it true, (tame impala) + fire & desire (drake)

summary: jeon jeongguk is your best friend—and nothing more. you’ve grown up with guy, watched him stumble through his awkward puberty, cheated on tests with him, witnessed his first kiss (which only happened because you persuaded him to kiss siyeon) which only strengthened your unbreakable bond. but now you’re in college and jeongguk isn’t an awkward preteen who needs your help to get girls anymore. it creeps onto you slowly, that feeling you’re harbouring for your best friend. but you’re determined to ignore—that is until taehyung sets of a chain of events that land you in a very interesting predicament.

PART — ONE // TWO (you are reading) // THREE

a/n: there are some drabbles (so called prerequisites) to this au that are not necessary to read but they would be fun to lol :) check my masterlist <3

You're aching to wipe off the smug look plastered across Taehyung's face. He'd welcomed you into his bedroom with a knowing smile, brown eyes glinting with irrepressible mischief. Every part of you wanted to turn around the moment you saw his face, but your pride wouldn’t let you, forcing your reluctant feet into his room and parking your butt onto his plush comforter.

"Okay so, what's our game plan?" He says, whirling around on the luxurious leather gaming chair that you know he purchased on his father's credit card. A card you would soon have access to if Taehyung ended up getting his way.

"Our plan?" you grumble, tucking your feet underneath you. "This is for you. What's your plan?"

Taehyung halts his movement at that, twisting the chair to face you, his eyebrow raised and one manicured finger lifting up to tap at his pink lips. His gaze is scrutinising as if he's attempting to piece you together. You don't like how exposed it makes you feel. "Regardless of who's plan, this is - I still need you to cooperate. If you could contribute instead of being difficult that would be appreciated. Need I remind you that you're also getting something out of this?"

You sigh heavily, curling into yourself. "Fine. What do you need me to do? We're meant to tempt Jeongguk, right?" You glance up to find him beaming at you again, a fox grin that makes your stomach churn.

"Exactly! By any chance do you know Jeongguk's type? Like what he's into?"

You hesitate for a brief moment, trying to gather the data surrounding that subject only to realise that you actually don't know much. Which is bizarre. Jeongguk is your longest friend but you don't know a single thing about what type of girl he’s into. You do know that he likes the pretty ones—but who doesn't. And it's not like he had an affinity for particular physical features. Or maybe he had mentioned them and you simply weren't paying attention during that conversation. Your face heats up from that realisation. It's peculiar to know how distant you've grown from Jeongguk over the years. Then it hits you, a click in your brain as you comb through your memory. Jeongguk had a massive crush on a girl during freshman year of high-school. Siyeon, if you remember correctly. She was incredibly cute, wide brown eyes and lush curly hair that all the boys liked. Jeongguk couldn't even say a word to her without falling all over himself. It was only with your help that she happened to be his first kiss. But that was in high-school. You're not clumsy teens stumbling through hormones and emotions anymore. You're just poorly functioning adults with too much access to alcohol stumbling through hormones and emotions now. And Jeongguk has grown into himself. His nose isn’t too big for his face anymore (to your dismal). He possess a natural charisma that draws everyone towards him as if he’s a massive magnet of likeability. Still, it's appalling that you know so little about your longest friend.

"Uhh...I actually don't know." It's embarrassing to admit and even Taehyung is dumbfounded, evident by the way his eyebrows raise to his hairline.

"Really?”

"Really," you deadpan, tone tinged with annoyance. "And don't you know? What with you being a sex connoisseur and all."

Taehyung has the audacity to wink. "Of course I do, I just thought you would have something to contribute to the conversation. But you don't, apparently."

That stings and Taehyung knows it from the glare you give him. But he just shrugs it off, shuffling onto his feet. "Since you have nothing to contribute, we'll base this plan around what I know Jeongguk likes. Do you already have a costume for the party?"

"No," You mumble, stretching onto his bed. But then the back of your palm comes in contact with something damp. "Tell me you've washed these sheets."

"Nope, I have not," He easily retorts, rummaging through his closet. You swiftly leap up from the bed, cheeks hot and your skin crawling.

"Taehyung," you hiss, glaring at the back of his head. He doesn't even bother to turn around, a complacent sigh falling from his lips as his fingers clasp onto the items he was searching for.

"What?" There's feigned innocence in his eyes when he finally turns around to meet your burning ones, the corners of his mouth ticking upwards.

"You can't cum on your sheets and not wash them!"

"Who said I was the one cumming on my sheets?" He coyly quirks an eyebrow, the glint in his eyes infuriating you. But before you can snap back he cuts through your anger with a soft laugh. "Please, I could never sleep in dirty sheets. It's probably just spilt coffee, Y/N. You're too dramatic."

You peer at the offending stain again and much to your chagrin, Taehyung is right. It's a damp dark spot on his navy bed-sheets but it's clearly not what you thought it was. There's a heat on your face when you sheepishly glance back at him.

"Sorry to assume," you mutter.

"You assume a lot of things all the time, you know that Y/N. Maybe ask before you make up your mind about things." It's a gentle chastisement and you hate to admit but Taehyung was right. Jumping to conclusions was a trait you despised about yourself but that never stopped you from diving head first into the false scenarios you'd drawn up in your mind. It's not the first time that illogical reasoning has landed you in an awkward moment. But it was difficult to break out of concrete habits.

"You're right," you reply instead, slumping back down onto his bed, bones weary. "Sorry again."

"It's fine," He says. "As for your costume, I have the perfect thing." You squint at the costume in his hands and your head nearly explodes. You can see it already, how that tiny thing would fit along the lines of your body, clinging to all the places that are bound to draw attention. But, Taehyung seems smug, tossing the flimsy fabric at your face as he moves towards his dresser. Your reflexes act swiftly, snatching the costume up from the air before it can tumble to the ground. But you're still not present, mind trying to piece together what Taehyung was implying. You've just admitted to jumping towards conclusions but you're still too shocked to not fall into old habits, your brain reeling when Taehyung plucks up the stethoscope dangling on the table, a satisfied smirk painted across his face.

"You're joking." It tumbles out of your mouth abruptly, mind still not quite connecting with your mouth just yet.

Taehyung's smirk broadens. "Absolutely not. Jeongguk loves a woman in a position of power. He's going to cream his pants the moment he sees you in that."

You roll your eyes hard. "Jeongguk doesn't find me attractive, why are you jumping to conclusions?"

Taehyung shrugs, a knowing look on his face. "Why are you jumping to conclusions? Also, try it on, I'm not sure if I got the right fit."

"You want me to undress? With you in the room?"

"Well, you wouldn't be the first girl to get naked in my room so don't think you're special."

He dumps the white lab coat he was clutching onto his desk, the stethoscope thumping hard onto the wood right after it. "I'm trying mine too, so we'll be naked together if that makes you feel better."

He's tugging his shirt over his head before you can snap out a retort, the word stuck in your throat when his span of golden skin hits your gaze. It's undeniable—Taehyung's got a great figure, broad shoulders and fit physique that has half the campus drooling after him. But it's such a weird sight to see Taehyung essentially naked that your eyes squeeze shut immediately. The darkness that greets your gaze is a blessing. You can hear his soft chuckles through the shifting sound of soft fabric being pulled on skin. There's finally a muted clink and you know that damn stethoscope is hanging around his neck, cool metal pressing against his prominent collarbones.

"You can open your eyes," Taehyung whispers, tone almost mocking. Your hands ball into fist instantly, eyebrows furrowing in annoyance when you finally crack your eyes open. He's leaning against his desk, slacks snug around his waist and his bare chest open for the world to view. The white lab coat barely does anything to hide his lean muscles which are tensed ever so slightly. The stethoscope is exactly where you'd envisioned it, dangling around his neck precariously. Something in you thinks it would be nice to tighten it around Taehyung's neck until he couldn't breathe. But you're also sure that Taehyung would enjoy that immensely.

"So? What do you think?" He twirls around for emphasis, a gleeful smile on his lips.

"When were doctors scary?" You comment instead, eyes landing on the bold V painted on the breast of his lab coat. "And what the hell does the V symbolise?"

"Hey! Doctors can be scary. People have a fear of doctors. And personally,” he gestures at his bare chest. "I believe that Halloween is a time to express your sexuality freely. Case in point, I am a sexy doctor and you, my dear Y/N, are a sexy nurse."

Your eye twitches.

"As for the V," he traces the letter, a glimmer in his brown eyes. "It stands for vagina, obviously. I'm Doctor Vagina. I fix all coochie problems with the use of my tongue and hands and for special patrons my amazing—"

"I hate you," you grumble, kneading at your nose bridge with your fingertips. You're too young to suffer from high blood pressure right now.

"You do not," he retorts, shoving his hands into his coat pockets. "Now come on, try the costume."

"I can't believe you're making us wear matching costumes," you reply, "And at least have the decency to turn around when I'm changing, Taehyung." He moves without a complaint, rocking on the soles of his feet as your strip on his bed. The silence makes your skin prickle, the cool air in the room sharp on your bare skin. Thankfully, Taehyung's mouth falls open, a comment that makes you pause in your dressing floating out.

"You'll know why we're wearing matching costumes when we get there. Trust the process, little one."

You squint at the back of his head, pulling the scant fabric over your body. Taehyung must have snuck a peek at your measurements because it fits fairly accurately, stopping mid-thigh so it's scandalous but not to the point where your butt is hanging out. There's a dangerous dip at the cleavage though, that has you doubting Taehyung's motives. And coupled with his strange comment, you're suddenly on edge. Because while you appreciate Taehyung's company and his wild antics, you do not trust him at all.

↯↯↯

mr struggle (09:23pm)

hey? r u coming to jimins?

we could match if u don't have a costume

i know u don't have a costume lmao

come as my sexy vampire mistress

mr struggle (09:52pm)

are you coming?

mr struggle (11:19pm)

chaeyoung's here where are you?

mr struggle (11:34pm)

hello?

y/n?

whats going on?

↯↯↯

"I still don't see Halloween in these costumes," you grumble, getting out of the Uber as Taehyung pays the driver. "It's freezing and I'm wearing this. If I get a cold Taehyung, I'll slit your throat."

The driver gives you a funny look but keeps whatever thoughts she has to herself. Taehyung smiles at you instead, sweeping a hand around your waist as you walk up to Jimin's house. There's already an array of inebriated college kids spewed across his clipped green lawn. You spy someone throwing up in the bushes, a tiny girl with wide eyes and angel wings strapped on her back holding a bottle of water crouched down beside them. How Jimin managed to keep throwing these parties despite the damage people inflicted on his home was beyond you.

"Please don't," Taehyung says, waving fondly at the girl whose friend was throwing up. "You look very good in that costume and that's the only thing you need to be concerned about. "

"Who's that?" You question, digging for your phone in the pocket of his black slacks. There was nowhere on your person that you could hide that thing. Your bra was a potential spot but you'd rather not have a huge rectangle outline on your tit right now.

"Jieun. She's been texting me." You notice her cheeks redden underneath the bright porch lights. "She's cute isn't she?"

"Yeah," you mumble, your brain painfully reminding you of Nayoung. There's a foreign feeling bubbling in your chest, whenever your mind brings her up. You don't want to say you don't like her. She's done nothing to you. Apart from flirting with your best friend. But why should that bother you?

The heavy bass of the song echoing throughout the house drowns the voice in your head. There's still a twang in your heart as you step inside the house, Taehyung's hand snug around your waist. It's astonishingly loud, the shifting fluorescent lights bathing the living room in a vibrant rainbow. Jimin's home feels massive and small at the same time, jammed with bodies that melt into each other and yet stand separate at the same time. Taehyung holds onto your hand tight, greeting a group of boys you don't know as he drags you further into the sea of bodies overtaking Jimin's living room. Your eyes flash over Jackson, another business major that you know Taehyung is close to. He's staring at you hard, gaze dipping to your cleavage before floating back to your face, a cordial smile on his face. He looks like he's about to talk to you, stepping forward with the offer of a cup in his hands. But as much as you need the liquor to warm your freezing fingers and toes, you'd rather not have a conversation with Jackson right now.

There's a text from Chaeyoung on your phone that spares you from the torture of a potential dreary conversation. She's out on the back porch, probably scouting for her next victim. You bid Taehyung goodbye with a quick 'see you later' before he can protest, slipping your phone back into his pocket and bolting into the crowd. You spot her quickly enough. It's hard to miss her in that skin-tight black suit with a whip cradled in her hand.

"Sexy nurse," she comments, red-stained lips spreading into a wicked grin. "That's hot."

"Please don't," you say, reaching for her cup. You down it without looking at the contents. But the burn you feel in your throat a second later makes you shove it right back into her hands. "Gin?" You splutter, the fire from the liquor kissing your oesophagus as it travels down to sit hot in your stomach."Not even with a mixer?"

"I'm getting fucked up tonight, love. Don't expect anything else."

"Please don't end up in the ICU."

"No promises," Chaeyoung replies, her gaze drifting to the group of girls huddled in the corner of the backyard. "I also need you to be my wing-woman real quick."

"Who?" You question, following her eyes. "And you look hot too. I dig the whole dominatrix vibes."

"Cat-woman is my role model," She replies, fiddling with the cat ears on her headband. "The one in the Tinkerbell costume. She's an exchange student."

"Oh," You say. The girl is cute, a lithe figure covered by a shimmering costume and long dark hair curling around her face. But then your gaze shifts to the rest of the girls surrounding her and your heart drops to your stomach. You know her face anywhere now. It keeps appearing every time you close your eyelids, your own personal phantom.

Jessica Rabbit. Nayoung is dressed as Jessica Rabbit. You hate to admit but she looks gorgeous. The glittery ruby fabric of her dress clings to every dip and curve in her body. Your fingers itch with the desire to snatch that wig off her head. It looks incredible against her tan skin, soft auburn waves framing her oval face. You don't think you can feel any other sort of envy but then she moves and the dress shimmers in the lights. Her long leg dips out from the high slit cut into the fabric, teasing the promise of something more.

You instantly snatch up Chaeyoung's cup again.

She peers you closely, eyebrows furrowed in concern. But you say nothing, mouth in a hard line because Nayoung looks perfect and it makes you feel sick. The costume on your skin suddenly feels stupid, a cheap version of her glowing beauty across the lawn. You don't like the pounding in your head but you drown it out with the heat of the liquor slipping down your throat. Your chest feels tight when you finally part your lips off the rim of the cup, mouth coated in the bitter aftertaste of liquor.

"What's gotten into you?" Chaeyoung questions, gingerly plucking the cup from your tight grip.

"Nothing," you hiss, focusing on the heat spreading across your chest instead of the pretty smile gracing Nayoung's lips. It feels wrong to dislike her, but you can't help the abhorrence that builds within you. It feels stronger than you initially thought it was. Perhaps it's because you forgot how gorgeous she is. She would look incredible next to Jeongguk—a pretty combination, an even prettier couple. Something about that the thought of that turns makes your insides burn.

"Well," Chaeyoung comments, tone coated in disbelief. You sneak a glimpse at her face, noting how her gaze is locked on Nayoung instead of the girl she was hoping to make a move on. "If you don't want to get unbelievably smashed tonight, I suggest you stop downing my drinks. And it's okay if you don't want to be my wing-woman. I don't want to remind you how lonely you are."

You playfully punch her arm, a half-hearted glower on your face. "Please, why would I need to get laid when I have my trusty vibrator. No feelings, no mess. And I always cum."

"Sleeping with a girl would give you the same results, you know." You snort loudly at that, snaking an arm around Chaeyoung's neck. There's a smile sneaking back onto your face.

"Alright then, you're a lesbian. There are some rooms upstairs, let's go."

Chaeyoung elbows your ribs, latching her crimson lips back onto her cup. "You wouldn't be able to handle me. Stick with your men," she mumbles, brown eyes sparkling. "Speaking of men, Jeongguk was looking for you earlier."

"Jeongguk?" It’s like you’ve been dunked in ice water, skin prickling at the mention of his name. "Why?"

"No idea. I told him you were coming with Taehyung though. Maybe you should look for him while I score myself a cute girl." She's shrugging your arm off her shoulders, feet already taking confident strides towards the gaggle of girls on the lawn. "I think he's upstairs, try looking there first." You snatch the cup she's shoving into your hands and watch her amble off, a strange emotion settling heavy in your stomach that you attempt to ignore. But curiosity gets the best of you, feet already turning back towards the house. You can barely get past the sea of bodies accompanying Jimin's living room, the loud bass reverberating inside your head as you shove your way past everyone, eventually reaching the stairs. Your steps are precarious, the heels Taehyung had insisted you don digging into the soles of your feet. If he failed to fulfil the foot massage he promised you, you were going to castrate him.

Even upstairs the music echoes, loud enough that the wall vibrates as you lean against it, letting a couple of people who'd trailed after you pass as you recollect your spinning emotions. You languidly sip at Chaeyoung's cup, forcing down the repulsion you feel every time the alcohol hits the back of your throat. There's already a fuzziness obscuring your reasoning but that doesn't stop you from swallowing another gulp. Maybe that's why you don't see him approaching, your head thumping along to the heavy bass, too preoccupied to focus on anything other than the deafening music and the drink in your head.

"Oh." It's a murmur, nearly drowned by the loud music but you instantly pick up on it and then you're suddenly upright, eyes alert as you take him in.

Jeongguk's wearing the dark ripped jeans that you think he's abused his rights to wear by now. The denim stretches over his burly thighs, threatening to burst due to his large muscles that are tense underneath the fabric. There's a half-tucked crisp white shirt draping over his broad shoulders, the top buttons undone to allow his collarbones to peek through. They’re perfect bold dips along his shoulders that you strangely yearn to press your lips against. The shirt fits perfectly around his lithe waist, gently billowing over the muscles you know are hiding beneath the sheer fabric. One of the many things that had changed about Jeongguk was his physique. He'd always been fit but joining the baseball team had completely altered the way he treated his body. He was in the gym more often than he was in the library if you're being honest here. The only thing terrible about his approach to health was his diet. It's unfair, how much junk Jeongguk can consume without a single flab of fat forming over his sculpted abs.

"A vampire," you comment, noting his slicked-back dark hair and the smidgen of crimson smeared at the corner of his lips. "Sexy." Your heart is beating loud in your head. Maybe it's the lights or your increasing inhibition but your eyes swiftly pick up on the bright blush spreading across his cheeks.

"Thank you," he murmurs, shifting closer. There's a glimmer of a smile gracing his petal lips. "You look really nice too. I dig the whole," he clears his throat, hand rising to flick at your cap, "Nurse thing. Very sexy."

"Please," you roll your eyes. "My tits are going to freeze off in this thing."

He laughs, a low sound that echoes inside you. "That won’t happen on my watch." The comment makes your skin warm, but you attribute that as a result of the alcohol rather than lack of distance between the two of you. "And I was looking for you," he continues, eyes settling on your own. It's oddly serious, this gaze. You doubt Jeongguk has had anything to drink yet, due to the clarity he stares at you with. "You weren't answering your texts," It's a whine, his lips pursed into a pretty pout.

"Taehyung has my phone," You say, flicking his nose. "Where are your fangs, Mr Vampire."

"...Taehyung." he says, blatantly ignoring your question.

"Yes," you reply, missing the discontent lacing his voice. "There are no pockets in this stupid costume and since it was his idea for me to wear it, I made him carry my phone." You're rambling now, tongue loose as your inhibition declines. Jeongguk just stares at you, brown eyes unusually hard. His gaze dips down to your costume again, but there's a hidden emotion swimming behind this particular observation.

"Taehyung made you wear this?"

You giggle, leaning into Jeongguk because your balance is off. "Yeah but I think it's funny too. He dressed up as a doctor so we're matching."

There's a pause, loaded with an emotion you can't pinpoint, filled by the echo of the music. Yet your chest remains hollow, and suddenly you can't look away from his intense gaze.

"Couple costumes?" he gingerly asks, eyebrows furrowed. You nod, bringing Chaeyoung's cup to your mouth again. Maybe the liquor will fill the aching emptiness inside of you.

"Cute." It's said harshly like he's forcing the word from his mouth. "You should have told me you were dressing up with Taehyung. You've been ignoring my texts."

You swiftly tear your eyes away from his, your gaze now on the floor. You feel embarrassed but you shouldn't because Jeongguk is right—you have been avoiding him. It's not like you get to see him every day, your majors being very different and demanding in their own way. But you've blatantly avoided his text messages, something inside you refusing to communicate with him ever since you’d stumbled on him whispering sweet nothings into Nayoung’s ear. A part of you feels bad, but then you remember how close they looked, huddled together in their own world, perfect in that moment. The image in your mind alone is enough to make you feel like a knife has been driven through your gut.

"Sorry, I've been super busy." You settle for that. It is true, you have been drowning under assignments but that has never stopped you from texting Jeongguk before. He quirks an eyebrow, and you know he knows you're not telling the truth. But before he can push it, mouth already open, there's a voice cutting through the moment.

"Jeongguk!" You know it's her instantly. You despise how you feel yourself shrivel up as you watch his gaze rise, brown eyes sparkling as he takes her in. He's seeing the stupidly fitted crimson dress and her delicate collarbones and her perfectly painted red lips. Would it be terrible to punch him right in the gut at this very moment? Your hands are already curled up in tight balls, your nails digging into the skin of your palm with vehemence.

"Nayoung?" Her name sounds good on his tongue, naturally rolling out from between his lips. Your eyes are twitching. "Hey," he has that tone in his voice, the one he uses when he's trying to get himself laid. You don't bother to turn around as he pushes himself off the wall, his shirt getting tugged down lower in the process. You already know she's eating it up and you hate yourself for disliking her.

"What are you doing hiding up here?" There's a lightness in her voice that makes your skin crawl.

"Just needed a breather," Jeongguk mumbles. And then you hear their bodies collide. A hug. He's hugging her. You tip the remnants of the cup down your throat swiftly.

"It is crowded down there," she says. Her voice is obscured and something in you knows that she's mumbling into his chest. You take a deep breath and force yourself to twist around, your tongue pressing against your teeth as your eyes take in the scene before you. Her hands are tight around his waist, plum nails splayed across his broad back. You suddenly feel like you're encroaching on their moment, your back plastered against the wall in hesitation. There's a weight on your tongue. It sits heavy in your mouth, eyes observing how they sway together, a soft slow moment that makes you want to disappear. You're not been seen anyway. Jeongguk's face is tucked near her ear, his mouth moving but you fail to hear the words he whispers. They're carried away by the deafening bass which matches the tempo of your erratic heartbeat. It's starting to hurt, with how fast it's slamming into your chest. No one would miss you if you just got up and left, would they? They're too caught up in their little bubble and you're starting to feel sick as you watch Nayoung giggle into Jeongguk's chest.

But the moment you get up to move, her eyes slide towards you. You hate that you cower away.

"Hi! Y/N!" Nayoung's arms drop from Jeongguk's waist and you suddenly feel light. "I saw you earlier but I didn't say hello!"

You're about to say something but suddenly she's tugging you into a warm hug, her arms resting around your shoulders. You move slowly, reciprocating the motion but you doubt your hug holds the same amount of warmth hers does. Everything in you feels cold, despite the buzz of liquor beneath your skin and you try your best to not visibly show your repugnance, touching her gingerly and keeping your eyes off Jeongguk entirely.

"You look great! I saw Taehyung downstairs, are you guys matching or?" Her eyes are too fucking bright, a perfectly straight dark line framing them. You hate that you note that, especially when she's looking at you with a warm grin. It's not like Jeongguk would know whether her eyeliner was perfect or not - he thought your eyelash curler was something for nails for God's sake. But still, there's a sudden weight reappearing on your chest and you instantly feel small, Nayoung's beaming smile too much for you to handle.

"Yeah, we're matching," you mumble, gently shrugging her arms off you. You don’t know how she knows Taehyung but you’re not interested enough to question it. Her gaze dampens immediately when you subtly push her away, something that makes you feel bitterly bright inside. "I actually need to find him. I'll see you guys around."

She just nods, her gaze trailing after your retreating figure. You slide past Jeongguk's outstretched hand, but he still grabs onto you, a question in his eyes. You gesture towards your empty cup and pull away before he can say anything else.

"See you," you murmur, bounding back down the stairs. There's too much going on in your head right now and you'd rather not think about any of those things. Your feet take you right back into the kitchen, where you find Taehyung perched on one of the counters, a bold lipstick mark pressed against his chest. He must read the frustration in your hunched shoulders easily enough, because he jumps down swiftly, plucking the cup right out of your hands. Jackson's still at his side and you don't miss how his eyes linger on you.

"What's wrong, buttercup?" Taehyung says, dumping some vile concoction into your cup. It smells rancid despite the pretty peach colour.

"Who made this?" You question trying to deflect him from prodding at your emotions, your nose crinkling at the pet name. "And don't call me that."

"Jimin of course," Taehyung retorts. He hands it back to you with a grin. "It doesn't taste that bad."

He's wrong. It tastes horrendous. You gag the moment the liquid hits the back of your throat, burning violently as it slides down your oesophagus, much to Taehyung's amusement.

"Where is he anyway?" You choke out, eyeing the lip marks on Taehyung's chest. "I haven't seen him and this is his house. And who is kissing your boobs?"

His eyes glimmer. "Those are Jimin's lips, love. He's around, you'll see him eventually. And you haven't answered my question. Have you seen Jeongguk yet?"

The mention of his name has your heart thumping hard against your ribs. "I've seen him," you mutter, pushing the rim of the cup onto your lips. Taehyung waits for you to drink, staring at you with an expectant face.

"And?" He finally splutters when you refuse to continue.

"He's with someone," you reply, tapping your fingers against the plastic cup.

"Who?" You send him a glare but Taehyung doesn't flinch, his eyebrows quirked and his eyes locked on you.

"Her name is Nayoung." It leaves a bitter aftertaste on your tongue. "I don't think you need me to help you win, honestly. Jeongguk's going to lose soon. Probably tonight. If you haven't already lost to Jimin, you'll win this thing for sure."

"Jimin and I aren't fucking," Taehyung retorts, a hand coming down on your waist. It surprises you, the sudden intimate touch. But you're too inebriated to push him away. His eyes are on the doorway behind you, slightly squinted as he focuses on the object of his interest. "And if Jeongguk is going to lose right now, why is he coming downstairs with a very pretty girl behind him?"

You immediately move to twist, wanting to see whatever Taehyung was staring at but his firm-wide hand is suddenly wrapped around your neck, gently deterring the movement. You stare at him in bewilderment but Taehyung doesn't acknowledge your confusion. The hand on your waist is suddenly gripping you with purpose.

"Don't look," He whispers. "They're coming here." He gingerly cups your cheek, thumb pressing against your cheeks, You feel like Taehyung is on to something you are not because the intention behind that whisper is lost on you. But you follow it regardless, noting the grin tugging at Jackson's mouth. There is definitely something going on. You want to question them, but then Jeongguk's voice sharply cuts through the concerns running through your mind.

"Taehyung?"

The man in question beams, the palm on your cheek sliding down your arm, joining his other hand to settle on your waist. His eyes glitter as he takes in Jeongguk, mouth open with a warm greeting. You take the opportunity to finally turn around, your heart dropping into your stomach when your eyes land on Nayoung's arm, neatly tangled around Jeongguk's. She's leaning into him—it's almost territorial at this point. A clear indication that this was her's. You hate that he's not even bothered in the slightest, allowing her to rest her head against his. You're so caught up in analysing the touch they're sharing that you completely miss the glare Jeongguk is giving the hand on your waist. His eyes are hard, a line forming between his eyebrows.

Taehyung does though and the grin on his mouth broadens. "Jeongguk! How are you? Who's this?" He tugs you closer, slipping his arm around your waist smoothly, noting the subtle tick in Jeongguk's jaw. You're still too caught up on how pretty Nayoung looks draped over Jeongguk, like they belong together, to push Taehyung's firm grip away.

"Nayoung," she says, smile elegant. You gulp down the punch Taehyung had poured for you. "And you’re Taehyung right? Jeongguk’s said a lot about you!"

"Good things I hope," he says, grinning easy as he nestles you further into him. You don't bother to contribute to the conversation, not in the mood to feign liking Nayoung for a moment longer. But Jeongguk is oddly silent too, standing still in the kitchen, his eyes locked on you.

"Your costumes are so cute," she giggles. "Couple costumes are super adorable!"

You'd like it if she stopped talking right now.

"It was my idea," Taehyung offers into the beat of silence. Then he turns to you, fingers digging ever so slightly into your hip. "I told you you would look great." It’s said coyly, his brown eyes glinting. You open your mouth to snap at him, the invasion of your personal space sending your hackles raising—but Jeongguk's talking before you can string together a sentence.

"Could you move, you're blocking the drinks,” he hisses, shrugging his arm away from Nayoung. You suddenly feel like you can breathe again. Not that you were aware that you were holding it in the first place.

"Sorry," he says, tone not apologetic at all. Taehyung drags you with him, leading you right into the corner right where Jackson is perched. You don't look back, too afraid that you'll find Nayoung leaning on him again. You focus instead on the grin Jackson throws at Taehyung. You don't miss how amused both of them are. They're trying to hide it but their lips are caught in between the teeth, laughter dancing in their eyes.

"What's going on?" You question, chewing on the rim of your cup.

"The plan," Taehyung remarks, grinning at Jackson.

"What does this have to do with the plan?" You're too inebriated to reasonably piece everything together but that doesn’t stop you from ardently attempting to understand what they're implying. You're still confused though, stumbling through the dark as Jackson and Taehyung murmur into each other's ears.

"Hey," you finally comment. "Don't do that in front of me."

"Sorry," Jackson replies, staring past you. "But this is actually hilarious. Taehyung you sick genius."

"Can I please know what the joke is?" You snap, eyeing the two of them.

"You'll know eventually. It's a guy thing." Taehyung's too busy typing something on his phone to look at you but you hope he feels the glare you give him.

"Just because I have a vagina I wouldn't understand? That's rich, Taehyung."

He glances up, tucking the device back into his pockets. "You would understand if you looked around you and paid attention for once. For someone so smart, you rarely do." His eyes are scanning the kitchen, completely ignoring the fire in your eyes. "Now, personally. I didn't just come here to stand around. Since I'm not getting laid, I would like to do something with my body. Can I wipe that frown off your face with a dance, love?"

"Stop calling me that," You snap but you let him lace your fingers together. Taehyung smiles in response, tugging your body closer to his. You're grateful for the support because you're starting to teeter on your heels, your sense of balance is quickly vanishing as the liquor kicks in. Jackson follows wordlessly, disappearing into the crowd a second later. But that's not on the forefront of your mind because you immediately spot Jeongguk and Nayoung in the corner of the room. He's leaning against the wall, her palm splayed across his chest. There's something tight squeezing your heart, and it propels your feet right into the sea of people. It's branded in your vision, the fond gaze he's giving her as they chat. You're starting to feel sick to your stomach, but it's hard to pretend like everything is fine when you know just a few feet away Nayoung is throwing herself all over Jeongguk. And she has every right to do so, he's your best friend after all. You should be happy for him. She's incredibly nice, matches his confidence and has a beautiful face to boot. But instead, you're swimming in a sea of green envy, spurred by the lack of self-control you feel right now.

You're aching to punch something.

Instead, you down the rest of your drink, dumping the cup on a stool before hauling Taehyung right into the sea of people. You desperately want to wash your envy away but instead, you sink deeper into it, drowning in emotions you're too terrified to name. Taehyung's laughing in your ear, gently directing you closer to where they're huddled. You don't want to see them together but at the same time, you're afraid to glance away. She's so close, her face nestled right against his. The lack of space between them makes the air around you vanish. But then Taehyung is pressing his body against yours, an easy smile on his lips as his hands settle on your hips. You rip your eyes away from them to stare at him, body moving to the rhythm of the song playing involuntarily.

Maybe he notes the despair in your eyes because he leans in. "Just dance, it's okay." It's oddly comforting, hearing those words drift out of Taehyung's mouth and you can't help but fold into his waiting arms, heart calming when his hands wrap around you. You rest your head on his shoulder without thinking, head pounding in time with the heavy bass reverberating inside the room, body moving without thinking. Taehyung lets you rest, his hands not dipping below your back, respectful enough to stay put. This song is too upbeat to slow dance too but he doesn't push you to move, uncharacteristically patient. Your mind starts to clear, but you still make a mental note to question Jackson and Taehyung later—that's if you even remember. Time is already starting to melt into itself, your brain fuzzy. Taehyung keeps you upright, humming softly into your ear. The gentleness of the action makes you smile, your eyes floating over the crowd that pulses around you.

There's a sharp jolt in your system when you find Jeongguk staring right at you.

Nayoung's still talking, you can see her glossy lips moving in the dim light of the living room. But Jeongguk is not paying her an ounce of attention. There's a vein throbbing on his forehead, his jaw set with annoyance that you immediately recognise. It makes something spark in your chest, a violent rush of emotions that has you leaning away from Taehyung like you've been set alight.

He reacts quickly, eyebrows raised and the hand on your hip light. "What?"

"Nothing," you mumble. But you can feel it, the hardness in his eyes. The intensity of that gaze lingers in your head. There are things you want to ask, things you want to say. But you bite them back down, tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth. Instead, you zone in on Taehyung's face in front of you. He's still cradling you gently but all of a sudden you can see Nayoung all over Jeongguk. You do it without thinking, spinning around so that your back is plastered against him. He's flummoxed, fumbling over his words as you place his hands on your waist.

"Y/N? What the hell are you doing?" He mumbles, breath tickling the base of your neck.

"I'm dancing," You retort.

"With your ass on my dick? Do you want me to lose?" He sighs, exasperated but he doesn't let go of your hips, gingerly guiding you against him. "This is not part of the plan."

"Let me just dance," You hiss, shifting Taehyung around so that he's still cemented against you, but Jeongguk is now in your direct line of vision.

Everything in you buzzes the moment your gazes meet, nerves burning within his eyes. It's oddly exhilarating, knowing Jeongguk's eyes are you even though Nayoung is rambling right at his face. Maybe you push yourself further into Taehyung, maybe you roll your hips a little harder, maybe your heart is pounding in your chest. You don't intend to acknowledge any of this, now or later, your actions spurred by unadulterated spite.

"Oh." Taehyung's not complaining, tucking his face right into the hollow of your neck. He keeps his crotch at a safe distance though but he doesn't hesitate to do something that makes your whole body shiver dangerously. It's just one quick motion, a light nip at your neck that has your mouth parting in wonder..

You don't see it, vision clouded at that very moment but Jeongguk's entire face changes. His jaw ticks, a harsh glare set in his eyes as he watches the two of you, the grip around his cup taut. Nayoung's notices it then, the fact that she's been talking to a stone wall for the past few minutes. She turns her head, eyes falling on what he's staring so intently at. It leaves her heart clenching but she had a feeling. He calls you his best friend but he looks like he wants to punch a wall right now. Some part of her is irritated, but she also can't be bothered to press this issue further. That's between the two for you to solve, in her opinion. But when she draws her gaze back to Jeongguk, he's looking at her. She does it because he's incredibly cute and she's spent all night talking to a boy who wasn't the slightest bit interested in her. It wouldn't harm her, and you look too preoccupied to notice it anyway. Plus, he'd asked, every so nicely with that charming smile of his tugging at his lips. It's harmless, right? All's fair in love and war.

Maybe you shouldn't have opened your eyes then, because your vision focuses for a brief moment, everything else falling away. There's a silence in your head that not even Taehyung's warm laughter can break through.

All because Jeongguk is kissing Nayoung.

↯↯↯

It's Chaeyoung who finds you.

You shouldn't be surprised, she does have a sixth sense for when you are feeling volatile and irate. It doesn't even seem like she was truly looking for you in the first place. The door just opens and her head peeks around the corner, platinum blonde bob bouncing with the sudden motion. And then her eyes land on your huddled figure in the corner of the bathroom, her gaze immediately softening and her crimson lips tightly pursing together.

"Tell me you're not sitting down on a dirty bathroom floor," she says, shutting the door behind her as her heels clink against the tiles. You glance up as you tuck your hands underneath your chin.

"No, I'm obviously levitating right now."

Chaeyoung clicks her tongue, squatting down before you, the black leather of her suit straining over her thighs. "Well aren't you in a cheery mood. What's got you feeling sour?"

"Nothing." It's hard to declare out loud because if you do then you're admitting it to yourself. And you'd rather shoot yourself in the foot than utter the words violently ricocheting around in your brain. You shift your eyes onto the floor, despising the knowing look Chaeyoung is giving you. Maybe she doesn't know exactly what's wandering in your mind but you know, she knows that there's something that you're hiding from there.

It's evident by the heavy exhale she lets out, bottom touching the cold ground as she crosses her legs in front you. "That's a lie and you know it. I can't believe you're making me sit on the bathroom floor, but we need to talk about this."

"No, we don't," you retort. It's harsh and you know it is, but you absolutely don't want to prod further into the jungle of emotions that are creating a frantic turmoil inside you right now. It would be better to just ignore them, blame it on the alcohol and the absence of someone warming your bed. A minuscule part of you is fully aware that that is a massive lie. Chaeyoung barely reacts, tugging her headband off her head and tossing it into the corner.

"God, that was irritating me. And yes, we do need to talk about it. You're busy sulking in the bathroom while everyone is having a fabulous time—that sounds like a problem to me. A problem that needs solving." She's giving you a pointed look, fingertips gently massaging the sides of her scalp.

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"But you need to," Chaeyoung retorts. She's completely right, you do need to talk about this but, it's like opening Pandora's box. Too much to unpack, too much damage that can be done by taking a closer look at this mess of feelings inside of you. It would be easier to just pretend they don't exist at all.

"I don't," you insist. "And I thought you were getting smashed—why are you more sober than me?"

She shrugs. "I remembered that I'm going to have a terrible hangover tomorrow and I'd rather not deal with that."

"And what about the girl?" You're attempting to distract her but you know Chaeyoung can't be deterred when she sets her mind on something. It's a terrifying trait; one you abhor and admire simultaneously. But then her eyes glaze over and you think you've done it—finally turned the conversation off the one thing you were hoping to forget tonight.

"The girl? Her name is Momo. She's so cute, a transfer from Japan. I got her number, can you imagine?" There's a silence that you don't know what to fill with, carefully observing the way her eyes glitter at the mention of the girl's name. Her infatuation is endearing and you can't help the small smile that slips onto your lips. But then your brain does something you loathe and you see it with such clarity that your throat closes up. Nayoung's mouth all over Jeongguk's, his arms snug around her waist. And then the vision alters into the warm loving gaze Nayoung was giving him. It physically makes you sick to know that they're out there in this very building, probably with their hands all over each other. Maybe that's why you're hiding away in this room, sealing yourself out from the vexation and envy you feel. But you shouldn't be feeling those things in the first place. That was your best friend. Only your best-friend, nothing more. That's all Jeongguk is to you.

The pain in your heart isn't new but it's overwhelming enough that it takes you by surprise. You fold into yourself, hoping the world doesn't hear the forlorn twang echoing inside your chest.

But Chaeyoung must read it on your face because she's suddenly shifting closer, her warm arms wrapping themselves around you. You melt into the hug, detesting the tightness surrounding your thumping heart. You're too faded to be dealing with all of this now, but it's hitting you with no remorse, these feelings looming over your head dangerously.

"Hey," she murmurs against your ear. It's soft, carried by the muted bass seeping into the bathroom. "Whatever it is, we'll work it out. It's alright. We can talk about it later."

You hum, fully knowing that you'll never even attempt to have this conversation again. It's too much for you to process let alone actually mutter out loud. You'll swallow this all down even if it chokes you in the process. But Chaeyoung doesn't read that in your noise of acknowledgement, gently patting your back as your rest against her, the silence punctuated by the occasional rowdy yell and the low vibrating off the walls. It's unusually calm, and the effect of it gradually takes over you, a quietness settling in your brain. You focus on that, clearing your head leaving only the resolution to forget this ever happening cemented in your thoughts.

And then all of that is shattered when the door is kicked open.

You spring apart, annoyance bleeding onto your face but then your gaze catches that stupid white lab coat and the large offending 'V' etched on it.

"Y/N?" Taehyung says, stepping unabashedly into the bathroom, oblivious to the atmosphere he's just interrupted. "I've been looking for you everywhere! You just vanished!"

Which is true, you had left him stranded on the dance floor once your brain processed what was going on between Jeongguk and Nayoung. But you had to leave before you did something incredibly stupid and ruined a life long friendship. Your irritation must be rubbing off on Chaeyoung because she's glancing up at him with the same frown etched on your face.

"Haven't you heard of knocking? What if we were fucking?" You sneak a glimpse at her, the image she's providing slightly jarring. But she also has a point.

Taehyung shrugs. "Wouldn't change a damn thing. You would have to stop too because I need to talk to Y/N. Like right now."

Your eyebrows kiss your hairline as you stagger up from the floor, tugging the hem of your minuscule dress down forcefully.

"Aren't you popular tonight," Chaeyoung comments, rising up with you. "So, we're here. Talk." There's an edge in her voice. You'd always gotten the feeling that Chaeyoung did not mesh well with Taehyung at all, but it's extremely evident in this very moment, the tension between them palpable. You draw your lip between your teeth, not missing the irritated glance he throws in her direction before he digs in hands into the pockets of his slacks, drawing out your phone.

"Here, I wanted to give you this. There's something else we need to talk about but we'll do that in private." There's a deliberate pause here but Taehyung doesn't let his gaze stray to Chaeyoung's infuriated face. "I'll text you. But I have to ask, are you okay? You got up and left all of a sudden. I thought you were going to throw up or something."

Your smile is small as you pluck the device from his hands, eyes locked on his expectant ones. You know what he's hinting at, but that can be discussed later. And it's rather nice to know that Taehyung was concerned about someone other than himself for a brief moment.

"I'm fine," you say, swiping at your screen. There are a couple messages from Jeongguk but you blatantly choose to ignore them, your skin prickling at just the sight of his name. "I'm just tired. I actually think I'll leave right now."

"You sure? Jeongguk's looking for you," Taehyung says. There's something hidden in his tone that you can't identify. Chaeyoung does though because her defensive system is all the way at one thousand instantly.

"He hasn't found her? That's his loss. Come on, we're leaving now." Her hands are wrapped around yours immediately, gingerly tugging you out of the room. You can't even muster a reply, suffocating on the tension between the two of them. But you do manage to give him a hurried wave, stumbling over your heels as Chaeyoung drags you towards the stairwell. Taehyung watches with a bitter smile, the red lipstick print plastered onto his chest staring at you almost accusingly. It's then you remember the exchange between Taehyung and Jackson. And with how his eyes settle on your retreating figure, you know deep inside that there's something else going on. You need to pin him down, interrogate him until he spills whatever is roaming inside his head. But you already feel lethargic, struggling to get down the stairs as your bones grow heavy in your body. Chaeyoung helps you along, wordless, a crease between her forehead that leaves you curious. Maybe you need to interrogate her too. There's too much that you feel like you don't know right now. But there's also a lot that you're avoiding coming to terms with. Maybe being the dark about that would benefit you. Sometimes knowing everything is worse than knowing nothing. And there are a lot of things you'd rather not know anything about right now. The subject matter itself begins with a bold brazen 'J'.

Chaeyoung calls the Uber and you're suddenly grateful for the packed house. It means you don't have to see him. And that's all that matters at the moment - well that and getting home in one piece.

↯↯↯

mr struggle (02:05am)

helloo!

y/n

wgete r u!!

wher e did u goooooo

oh fucj

imissu

mr struggle (03:23am)

hey

hey wgere r u!!

taehyung

gieve her her phien

now!!

plz

y/n r ubreading this?

answen me plz

i jus wnan talk

u keep leavign me

mr struggle (03:42am)

hey

sorry im beign annyogin

annoying***

text me wen u get thih

lovvee you

#jungkook x you #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jungkook scenario #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fic #bts x reader #btswritingcafe

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scryarchives · 7 months

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𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤 - 𝐣𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 | 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟗

never in his life did jaime think that the first person he'd really open up to would be his neighbour, but hey, new friendships are formed.

masterlist | previous , next !

– pairings: jaime reyes x oc

– warning: fluff, canon divergent, blue beetle movie spoilers

– author’s note: i wont lie this chapter was one of the more fun ones to write and i was excited :> disclaimer: i’m not of Hispanic or Aztec descent and used a translator for certain terms, so do correct me if im wrong!

translations: dios mío - my god ni siquiera me hagas empezar - don't even get me started

Time always passed faster than you ever thought it would, seconds turning into minutes, and minutes turning into hours within the blink of an eye.

The warm and radiant sun had begun to set, lowering itself closer towards the ocean as all the land beneath it was filled with a golden glow.

Unaware of this change sat two young adults within an abandoned building, light filling in the lonesome domain, keeping the duo company regardless of the lack of electricity that passed through.

Only Jaime’s voice filled the air as the young woman across him listened intently, hanging onto every word, feeling a fraction of almost every emotion he went gone through, from the sheer panic of the scarab lurching onto his face to the excruciating pain of the scarab’s limbs digging into the bone of his spine, bonding with its host for life.

Pity and heartbreak filled her heart as the man across from her struggled to get through one of the toughest parts of his journey, and the most painful of it all.

The loss of a loved one wasn’t an easy part to handle. He wished for everything to bring him back.

Silently, she pieced the pieces together, her hand hesitantly, but gently reassuringly placed over his own, reminding him that he could keep to himself if he wasn’t ready to share.

And he truly wasn’t ready yet.

Swallowing down his grief, he continued his tale, opening himself up to her about how he learned to protect those he loved, how he learned to handle this kind of responsibility, and how he barely escaped death with a different — but the good kind of different — approach on this strange, but exciting, new chapter in his life.

It was all so tough, but he had others he could rely on; his familia, Rudy, Nana, his Mamá, even Milagro. And perhaps Jenny, although currently, he was having a little trouble communicating with the latest name on the list after her rejection.

But he faced it all, and even though he still grieved the loss of his father, he came out a stronger person, heck maybe an even more loving person, and nothing was stopping him from keeping the people he loved safe — his home — safe. After all, home is where the heart is.

So here he was, spilling his guts out to a woman he first called a stranger, a threat. But now, things changed, and she started to change into his neighbour, maybe even a friend.

“And after everything her aunt did, she still volunteered to make our neighbourhood better. She helped rebuild our house, gave Rudy a new ride, which he’s practically attached to but won’t admit out loud, and was there for us in our toughest times,” He bobbed his head up and down in thought, Drea humming as her cheek rested in her hands, elbow placed on the armrest while she crossed her legs.

A cheeky smile grew on her face, eyes turning playful at the sight of Jaime’s dazed eyes.

“Jenny, hm? Sounds like quite the keeper,” She chimed, tilting her head playfully.

“Dios mío, ni siquiera me hagas empezar,” He muttered with a dreamy smile growing on his face. “Everything about her, it’s just so… perfect! She’s extremely intelligent, kind and caring, and so, so beautiful. What else do I even have to say?”

Chuckling, Drea leaned back in her chair, suggestively raising an eyebrow.

“Ever tried telling her that? Maybe it will sweep her off her feet, who knows?”

And just like that, Jaime’s smile fell, eyes downcast as he shoved his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants, picking at loose threads from within. He let out a sad sigh, head leaning back as he stared at the vine-filled ceiling.

“Funny thing, it didn’t work. After everything, I thought maybe she felt the same way, but it was probably the adrenaline getting to me…”

“Jaime, I’m sorry,” Drea began, glancing at the Mexican across her in concern. “I didn’t mean to pry–“

“It’s fine, Drea, really,” He replied smoothly, tilting his head to face her. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while anyways, and it’s probably better to let it all out, y’know?”

Slowly, Drea’s look of concern faded, a calm one replacing as she felt mutual about his feelings. She leaned her head back, staring at the little orbs of light that complimented the green of the vines that clung to the cement.

“Yeah, I get that.”

The two shared a look, gentle smiles all around as Jaime let out another sigh, this time, or relief, his eyes glancing back at the ceiling. Slowly, he let the thoughts flood through, one by one pushing them aside as he realised that all of his thoughts were just… thoughts. It’s all they would ever be.

“You know, if you ever want to talk, I’m always free to help out,” Drea began gently, Jaime, suddenly feeling grateful to have a friend around.

“Thanks,” He replied, the fiddling in his pockets slowing. “I’ve got your back too, if you ever need help. So is my family.”

A soft and appreciative look appeared on the woman’s face as she hummed, “I know.”

A comfortable silence grew between them, the two friends basking in the calm, enjoying each other’s company. Until a low rumbling noise was heard, and Jaime’s eyes snapped open.

When did he last eat again?

As his stomach rumbled again, Jaime pulled his phone out in embarrassment, swiftly checking the time.

6:30 pm.

Huh… he didn’t recall time passing by so quickly.

“It’s about time we head back anyways,” The woman across him stood up, Jaime doing the same as he hurriedly shoved his phone back into his pocket.

“Yeah, it’s for the best,” He let out a breathy chuckle, hands in his pockets once more.

As he took his next step, Jaime hadn’t realised that his left foot was trapped beneath a loose vine, his weight shifting as he tried to lift his leg.

“Jaime, watch where you’re–“

His eyes widened at his sudden error, hands darting out of his pockets to help him regain his balance, but the ground seemed closer by the second, and he braced himself for impact.

But he never felt himself land on the solid concrete.

Instead, he felt a slight jerk that pulled him away from the ground as strong arms darted to catch his frame, a hand clasping the cloth of his hoodie, another around his waist as his arms flailed to his sides.

“–Going…”

Blinking up at her, Jaime felt his face flush at the proximity between them, light brown, almost amber, pools of concern staring at him as he felt himself getting lost within them.

Who knew that her eyes were so pretty? Did her hair always look this soft? Wow, under this light she looked so peaceful, so calm, and so beautiful—

“You alright?” She whispered, and the gentleness of her voice almost sent another wave of heat to his cheeks.

Being so lost in the moment, Jaime swore he was hallucinating the moment he felt a warm, soothing glow surround them. And he was certain his mind was messing with him the moment he thought he saw pink briefly dust her cheeks.

“Y-Yeah, yeah, I’m all good,” He muttered quickly, pulling his feet from beneath him as he regained his balance.

It was then that he realised their slight height difference, his heart pounding at the thought of being able to encompass her completely if they ever decided to hug. Or cuddle. Or kiss—

No! Jaime, you’re friends. You’re just hungry, and you’re thinking these thoughts because you’re lonely and you were rejected, that’s all. Don’t mess it up.

“The vines here are a little pesky now and then, but hey, a little pruning might be needed,” She giggled, and Jaime fought his thoughts once more, almost hissing out loud for them to shut up.

“Jaime, you’re staring, again. You need to answer Alejandra or she will think that you are weird.”

“Yeah,” Jaime blurted out, silently thanking Khaji for the reminder. “Uh, yeah we definitely gotta cut those. Anyway, shall we? I think I’ve left my Mamá for too long and any longer, she might file a missing person’s report. Again.”

“Again?” She narrowed her eyes with a sly grin. “That must’ve been fun.”

“Eh, not so fun when you’ve been considered missing after crashing through your childhood home and flying all over the city without a clue on how to control it,” He joked back, her elbow nudging his ribs as they shared a laugh.

Right as he saw her smile, he felt himself go soft as he saw how radiant she was when she was truly happy, and his stomach rumbled once more, breaking the moment between them.

“Alright, c’mon big guy, let’s get you home with some food,” She chuckled, snapping her fingers as the citlaltontli hovered back in her hands.

The little glowing beads lost their radiance, their surroundings fading into the shadows as Drea grabbed Jaime’s wrist gently, pulling the male towards the large double doors of the building.

“Using up this much energy for light has worked up my appetite too.”

He chuckled, eyes glued onto their conjoining point, swallowing the lump in his throat as he felt how soft her tan hands were.

“Yeah, food,” He chimed. “Wanna join us for dinner?”

“Only if you don’t almost expose me before your family.”

There was something about the playful glint in her eye that made him want to know her more, to know more about her childhood, her hopes, her dreams. Everything.

“Deal.”

Yeah, he was just hungry.

gif by @rob-pattinson

taglist: @mooncleaver @hoshi4k @mymanjaimereyes @asvterias @tinkerbelle05 @littlekidsteve @allthingsvicf

< comment/dm me if you’d like to be on the taglist! >

#blue beetle #blue beetle 2023 #jaime reyes x oc #jaime reyes x reader #blue beetle jaime reyes #blue beetle movie #blue beetle slight spoilers #jaime reyes #milagro reyes #bianca reyes #alberto reyes #khaji da #oc #ocs #blue beetle oc #sam writes !

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dreamlandxrunaway · 2 years

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pairing: yang jeongin x fem!reader (another skz member x reader)

genres: university!au, fluff, angst, social media!au (with some written parts probably), strangers to lovers, unrequited love, love triangle

synopsis: y/n gets stuck on the campus during a storm, as one usually does when it starts pouring unexpectedly. thinking of ways to keep occupied, since y/n’s friends aren’t answering, she gets saved by a nice gentleman who gives her the umbrella he was using, leaving her only with: “no need to give it back, repay my kindness by helping someone else!” completely captivated by the stranger’s smile, she fails to notice that it was meant for someone else, and therefore sets herself up for a possible heartbreak. well, this is something her and her online, anonymously assigned, anonymous friend - yes, that is indeed a thing seniors made - will talk about for a really long time... and oh boy, oh boy, none of them realize they are just enjoying the calm before the storm.

warnings: mature language/swearing, some type of family-caused trauma, toxic relationships, edit: cheating (not by y/n), suggestiveness, sex (but probably not too explicit, smut will be tagged when needed)

tag list: ask in the replies of the parts :))

there’s no fixed schedule. however there shouldnt be a big pause unless im working on a written part :) but it should be always be at the same time from 8pm to 2am CET / UTC+01:00

••Hiatus••

start time: 2022.05.22.

end time: ??.??.??

reminder: this is just a story, none of the personalities are supposed to be representation of their real personalities or the actions they would take in the mentioned situations, nor is the portrayal of them written as such. have fun reading :)

general masterlist

masterlist

profile 1 (y/n group + 3racha)

profile 2 (i.n group)

profile 3 (anonymous + additional characters)

[1] drama incoming...

[2] youre stuck with us now 🥰

[2.5] c’est la vie, and all that (✍)

[3] wet (derogatory)

[4] only emotional damage 💔

[5] kind internet stranger :)

[6] my father will hear about this

[7] babysitter

[8] go sleep, nerd

[×] teaser / moodboard

[9] things that weren’t said (✍)

[10] good luck to that girl...

[11] telepathic connection

[12] nicer than you

[13] there’s always next time

[14] emergency meeting

[15] goodnight, moonlight

[16] i’m right, you’re wrong part 1

[16.5] i’m right, you’re wrong part 2

[17] never ❤

[18] soften the blow

[19] what an honor!

[20] “close-knit family”

[×] teaser / moodboard

[21] just another day (✍)

[22] bees?

[23] ride or die

[24] not THAT big of a deal, right?

[25] Jeongin says hi, btw

[26] for once and for all

[27] works of art

[28] now suffer the consequences

[29] a brawl, huh?

[30] moonlight (✍)

[31] speculations

[32] try me

[33] squirrel stew

[34] cool (terrifying)

[35] hermit

[36] new low

[37] cage with an open door

[38] escape from reality

[39] back to earth

[40] drunk on alcohol v1.0

[41] drunk on emotions v2.0

[42] drunk on power v3.0

[43] corporate gray (✍)

[44] heartache doesn’t suit you (✍)

[45] no time to relax

[46] winter falls in the silent city (✍)

tbc

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confusedspaceotter · 1 year

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Daily avatrice analysis (day 3)

day1 day2 day3 day4 day5 day6 day7 day8 day9

Seriously didn’t think i’ll have to split season 1 ep3 into 2 parts lol

anyway i’ll try to keep it brief today since the hug™ and the hallway scenes are huge milestones of their relationship thus is been talked a lot

Ep 3 part 2,

First, I would like to thank father Vincent for being an ally to the avatrice ship we didn’t know we had

homeboy sees avatrice interact for once in the canteen then decided to bring Beatrice to comfort Ava lol

Now you could argue and say that father Vincent asked Bea to befriend Ava but I think I would rather believe that Bea did this on her own because of her boarding school times(if you don’t know what I’m talking about check the day 2 post)

as much as I hate this man for lying to Ava I had to give this to him

he saw the vision when no one had

(Sorry Camila baby but you are still the captain of the avatrice ship tho

Now back to the scene itself

Avatrice really is endgame from the start huh

Just look at her

the moment she set foot in the room, her attention was dragged away by Ava

All hail protective Beatrice

You can tell she wanted to comfort Ava so much yet she doesn’t really know what to do

People might think that Bea is not good at dealing with feelings and that’s why she hide it

I propose that she is in fact too good at emotions

well more about the dark, bad side of having it ,and more importantly how to hide it

Given her past experiences I think is safe to assume she knows too well about the consequences of having feelings and I quote:

“When what you love, what should make you happy, only brings you pain.” -Beatrice(S1 Ep 8)

Yeah she knows what pain is

And yet

She can’t help but look at Ava, trying to find a way to provide comfort to her

Girl was whipped from the beginning man they were just meant to be

Now onto the hug it self

Sikeee there's something else here I wanna talk about

The moment mother superion left

She went straight to Ava

Girl couldn’t bother to wait for mother superion to left the room really shows how much she cared about Ava even tho she might not know her well

Now you can see the obvious hesitation she had

I’m assuming that reaction is combination of repressing your emotions for a long time and the result of keeping people out due to self-loathing

which makes this scene a thousand times more meaningful

Bea, the one who actively reject/avoid physical contact Initiate physical contact Im unwell

The fact that Ava is important enough to Bea that she threw her internal cage out of the window

I feel like in her brain is probably like:

brain sees pretty girl upset must comfort

And you know what the best thing is?

the fact that physical touch is both of their love language

as we can see in S2

They literally can’t keep their hands off each other

Now, many people have talked about how Bea feel or might be thinking during the hug

So I will talk about Ava instead

She is seeking comfort in the one person who is nice to her since she got here (minus Vincent he got ulterior motive

Ava your Kid is showing

I think we can see just how innocent and precious Ava is

reminds me of a meme I saw:

as a person who also had a childlike personality i would too dive head first to the one who is nice to me (especially when they are pretty girls like beatrice

Now onto the hallway scene

two things i wanted to point out

one, Bea using humor to try to comfort ava:

babygirl is learning how to comfort Ava we love to see it

and two

how observant ava is

“there's more to it then you are telling”

Ava took one look at Beatrice and said I know what you are lmao

“there is always more”

foreshadowing to ep 8 and could possibly be about Bea’s feelings towards Ava

i swear i didn't expect to write this many words

please lemme know if is too long i’ll try to keep it brief by not analyzing too deep with the more popular scenes(e.g. the kiss in s2 and so on)

Here’s a gif of Avatrice for making it this far <3

stay tuned :)

day4

#daily avatrice analysis #finally done with ep3 #should I do a tldr at the end of long post like this?#lemme know :)#I don’t know how to keep things brief #warrior nun #avatrice #sister beatrice #ava silva

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equallyshaw · 2 years

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𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓲 𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓽. - 𝓺𝓾𝓲𝓷𝓷 𝓱𝓾𝓰𝓱𝓮𝓼.

Inspire by miss o. rodrigos: all I want.

pt 2 to brutal:

Sour Masterlist:

you don't have to read that part, BUT it might clear some things up. but i also might do a 3rd part since, the ending is a cliffhanger not gonna lie lol

Warnings: swearing. actions aluding to sex.

Word Count:

I found a guy, told me I was a star

He held the door, held my hand in the dark

And he's perfect on paper but he's lying to my face

Does he think that I'm the kinda girl who needs to be saved?

After 2 months of going back and fourth with Quinn, and trying to figure out his feelings, I got nowwhere. I even brought in Ellen to help with the situation, but again- nothing. He was like me in a lot of ways, quiet, broody, impeccably stubborn and again- broody. Ellen couldn't get it out of him, hell I even bribed Luke with $100 in chipotle money to help me out, but nothing worked. I got sick and tired of waiting around, even after we 'fixed' our friendship. So I completly moved on with my life, moving from Plymoth to Chicago and started a new job within the summer. It was now october, and between last July to to now, I had found somebody who actually was all in.

I was on my way home from a late night at work, having been sucked into after work drinks, I called for the door of my apartment to be held open, instead of trying to grab my key. The stranger obliged, and he introduced himself to me on the elevator up. I then saw him again, a few days later grabbing a coffee from the lobby. I smiled at him, grabbing my own and he asked me to take the coffee to the rooftop, and I accepted.

And god, he is perfect. He was doing everything right. He was kind, a gentleman, sweet, funny, not afraid to show his emotions, and overall pefect. He wasn't afraid to show who he was, he was honest. Such a drastice differance from Quinn and the guy I had previously dated. Trevor was everything I was looking for in a guy and somehow got extremely lucky. And for once, I have somebody 'normal' in my life. Who has a set fucking schedule, and can make plans for two weeks out.

Now it was October, and I kinda have a funny feeling about him.

"I think he's talking behind my back." I confessed to a friend who I met through work. She froze, looked over and gave me her full and undivited attention. "I think he might be atleast just acting shady. Like, when he first met me I was a different person. Trying to get over Quinn once and for all, and having those three months were blissful. And like, when he met me I was almost over him. And now, I don't see Trevor as like a filler if you wanna call it that. I see him differently now, but I think he thinks im still fragile? Like im depressed and like ill always be depressed, but not that depressed. Y'know? He's perfect, but im not a damsel in distress. I don't need to be saved, by a guy no less. Quinn knew that, he didn't push me. Especially in our last conversation." I confessed and she nodded, comforting me. "I just want a good guy, somebody to love me unconditionally. somebody to always be there for me, and like I should be enough for myself. but somedays I don't think I am." I added and she wrapped her arms around me. Quinn reminded me in our last conversation, that I needed to be there for myself above all else.

[March 31st.]

"Are-are you leaving?" Quinn questioned walking into my air bnb. I had been staying in Vancouver since the end of Olympics pretty much. I had only spent five days in Detroit before heading up here. I was happy to be leaving, especially to leave the ever confusing Quinn Hughes. "Hmm mmm." I responded, shutting my suitcase. "Were you gonna tell me or just leave?" He questioned coming over to the bed, grabbing my hands to stop me from moving. This is the first time in years, he had held my hands like this. I froze, looking down at them and then back up to him. He let them go, and I sighed walking back out into the living room. He followed suit, and we sat on the couch across from one another. "I need to leave. I can't keep doing this. I need to move on with my life, Im leaving for Chicago." I confessed and he moved forward, trying to study me. "Can't keep doing what?" He asked, confused. I shook my head, "Quinn, if you hadn't noticed I've changed my flight three times since getting here. I have stayed, because I wanted to be around you. I wanted to be with you. Yet, you are still the ever confusing Quinn Hughes I fell for all those years ago. So with that, I just have to leave." I exclaimed. He looked at the floor, and I could see the gears turning a mile a minute. Trying to process what I had said and everything that had gone on this past month. I sniffled back some tears, and he whipped his head up to face me. He looked at me with a thoughtful look. "God, I really need to go." I said standing up. "Wait." He said softly grabbing my hand, and I turned back towards him. "I have to go Quinn, I need to be on my own for awhile. I need to find myself, and love myself away from skating." I said looking at the ground, before looking at him. He fought back tears, his jaw tighenting as he pushed some hair back behind my ear. His hazel eyes (i cant find his eye color lol) twinkling as I look at him, "Im sorry that Ive been distant this past month. I get it, and yes- I did see the way you acted, and I am sorry that I didn't show or tell you how I felt. But. I do think that you should figure out who you are away from the sport. I want you to learn to forgive yourself from regret and mistakes you think you made. I want you to learn to love yourself, more than ever, you need to. You need to be there for yourself, ok?" he questioned bring his hands to my face and I nodded, barely holding on to the tears that were going to pool out any second. He nodded, before pulling me in for a hug. I needed to leave.

[October]

I sat on the edge of my bed, debating if I wanted to even go to dinner with my friends. It was a much needed, fancy ass treat for us corporate gals. I sighed, pushing my brunette hair behind my shoulders and walking out to grab my bag. I walked out of my apartment, not before straighening my black dress that curved in the perfect spots, with black stilletos. My makeup and hair were done the way I loved it, so much different than competition makeup. I walked out, stopping by my boyfriends apartment on the ride down, to say goodnight. I knocked, waiting patiently for him to open the door. He opened it, smiling and pulling me inside. "Woah, you look gorgeous." he said taking my whole outfit in. I nodded, blushing. "Thankyou, Trev." I mused, giving him a quick peck. "Ill see you tomorrow morning, for brunch ok?" I said and he nodded, waving me off. "Be safe, let me know when you get home." He yelled as I walked out, while confirming I would.

I pulled up the the valet on the chicago river, thanking the valet as I walked past. I headed into the greek restaurant, my favorite, and made my way to the bar. The hostess nodding as I walked past, and then hearing, "How does she get to walk in? She's literally a nobody." I froze, walking back to the hostess and slipped her a twenty, for her troubles. I shook my head, and continued towards the bar and saw the familiar bartender and she nodded, already starting my drink. Let's just I come here a lot, and they know me pretty well now. Besides, I did tip very well when I did.

"Y/N!!!!" I heard behind me, and I smiled turning around to my friends. We all hugged, before they motioned towards our usual table and I nodded grabbing my martini and following them. We sat down, not bothering with the menus and started talking about our week. The four of us work for different companies and brands, so we understand one another for the most part but since we work in different fields, we always enjoy catching up with one another. It was nice for once, being able to be still and not have to worry about what I nedded to do next and what not.

"Okay, who the hell is staring at you?" Bella said pointing past me, as I sipped on my drink. I turned around in my seat, being so non chalant and quite frankly not caring. I noticed a tall blonde and cringed, that was elias. I internally yelled fuck, and moved on to who was staring at me. motherfucker Quinn. I swallowed, sighed and turned back around. "Do you know him?" Bella questioned and I nodded. "He's my ex from michigan who also happens to play in the nhl." I said swinging back the rest of my martini and taking in the bitterness. "Im getting something else, you need anything?" I questioned the girls and they shook the head no. I nodded, standing up and walking over towards the bar again. I smiled, asking for straight gin on ice. I sighed looking at the bar, and cursing the universe. I really didn't want to see him tonight. I began to walk back towards the bar, keeping my head looking straight on. Not wanting to see him or anybody in that group. Especially the dude, that made fuss about me walking in straight to the bar.

All I want is love that lasts

Is all I want too much to ask?

All I want is a good guy

Are my expectations far too high?

All I have is myself at the end of the day

But shouldn't that be enough for me?

I sat back down, digging into the veggie and hummus plate. "Ordererd you usual." Rosa confirmed, and I nodded thankfully. "So what's going in with you and Trev? The text you sent in the group chat, seemed off. Like unlike him." Alicia questioned, and I sighed. I sat back in my chair a bit, and shrugged. "I was explaining to my coworker Nina about it yesterday. Like, when he first met me- I was SO close to getting over Quinn for once and for all and so he saw me when I wasn't at my highest like I am now and he doesn't realize I am not as fragile as I was before. Well, not fragile but you know what I mean." I rambled, sipping some more of my drink. "But he seems so sweet! But like also, you aren't a damsel in distress. He shouldn't be at your beck and call like that, well he should be because your you but you know what I mean." Rosa respondeded and I nodded. "Like he's perfect on paper, but I don't need to be saved. I've already saved myself."

And there's one more boy, he's from my past

We fell in love but it didn't last

'Cause the second I figure it out he pushes me away

And I won't fight for love if you won't meet me halfway

A little while later, we were back on me and my love life. "But seriously, I just want somebody that fits me and who I am. I don't want to be one foot in and one foot out. I want to be sure. And no I was never like that with my last boyfriend after Quinn. I didn't even wanna move in with him after three years. Am I aiming for something too high. Am I asking too much out of somebody or expecting too much?" I confessed, running a hand through my hair and sipping my drink. "NO!" Alicia said first, "No, you are not expecting too much. Don't you dare feel like you have to settle for somebody. Settle for somebody that isn't Quinn." She said, peeking at the other girl's reactions. She was right. I shook my head, sighing. "I can't have him, he's probably not available anymore. When I went for the weekend to my parents, they said that they had seen an extra girl hanging around the family when they went to the lake. They looked cute apparently, and like I can't hold out hope for him. Not anymore." I winced. Rosa shook her head, "But didn't he wait for you? Like didn't he not move on?" She questioned and I nodded. "But we aren't getting any younger, so he's probably moved on. Which is a good thing. We didn't stay together for a reason, who knows if we were just too young to keep it going or that he wasn't into me as I was. I can't fight for somebody who doesn't want it all. That one month with him, doesn't change anything. I won't fight for somebody who doesn't meet me in the middle. Who doesn't put in the energy or time or fucking words." I said, quite frankly done with the conversation. "Well, here's to us and our single lives forever!" Bella beamed clinking our glasses together. Shouldn't that be enough? Why do I have a heavy feeling in my stomach?

All of us headed out towards the valet, with mine coming up first. "Ill text you guys tomorrow for next week." I mused, handing money to the valet. I thanked them, and hopped in my car. I waited a second to pull out, because people were walking in front of me. I sighed, staring straight at them, hoping they would hurry up. I watched them as they finally moved past my car, and I drove off. My music started as I pulled off, heading back into the city. I decided I wanted to drive on lakeshore, so I made my way around the city so I could go past Navy Pier, heading back into the gold coast area.

God, seeing Quinn tonight has messed with my head. I couldn't stop thinking about him throughout dinner, honestly getting lost in my thoughts.Thoroughly, just sitting back at dinner and not saying much. The girls knew that seeing him, rattled me, I had explained to them a few months back when we all met at a Pilates class, about somebody from Michigan- never explicity saying his name, and how much he affected me. Constantly thinking over and over, what I did wrong, what he did wrong, and everyhting afterwards. We were just simply, young and dumb. But, the ever brooding man just couldn't escape my mind.

My phone dinged, signaling that somebody had texted me.

[Q: sorry didnt mean to stare at you. didn't know u were there till brock pointed you out. apparently he didn't recgonize you when you first walked in.]

[y/n: yep. called me a nobody which is fine, but the fucking entitlement to speak to a hostess like that was uncalled for.]

[Q: oh i know, as soon as i heard about that i def game him an earful. ]

[y/n: oh good. because, ellen would not enjoy hearing that you didn't do anything or that you contributed to it.]

[Q: oh god, dont remind me. but anywho, did you possibly want to meet up rn? i still have sometime before curfew...]

I sighed, bitting my lip. My finers strumming against the steering wheel as I drove past the lake, not taking in the view at all. Fuck, I wanted to see him.

[y/n: yeah, how about the soho house? we can speak in private.]

[Q: ill meet you there.]

I turned off the drive and made my way into the city, towards the west loop near the united center. As soon as I arrived, I pulled into the valet and headed inside grabbing a corner seat.

I sat down, rubbing my hands on my thighs, trying to brush away some guilt and anxiety. Stop, nothing more than friends seeing one another. Just for an hour, and then ill be in my bed. I got up, walking over towards the bar/coffee bar and ordering a decaf expresso. I'd need it.

Quinn walked in, looking around and looked adorable, looking at the somewhat bare cafe. I smiled, throwing him a hand as I walked back to my seat. Expresso in hand. "Hi." I said sitting down across from him. He smiled softly, as a waiter came over. "Ill have a decaf too." he said and the waiter went away.

Quinn stared at my hands, waiting for one of us to say something. I chuckled softly, rubbing my eyes. "How have you been Quinn? How is the season going so far?" I questioned sipping my drink. "It's good. I think this year will be good. And i've been doing great. Things have been looking up, you?" He questioned setting his drink down on the saucer. I nodded, "Its been great too. I love it here, I love my job, my group of girls. It's been amazing thus far. Ive even visted it my parents more than once." I mused and he smiled. "So you paid a visit to cruella huh?" He joked and I gigged. "Yes! I made sure to keep any and all dogs out of sight." I grinned, placing my cup to my lips before sipping. "Can I ask you a question, Q?" I questioned, gaging his response. He nodded unsurely, "Did you feel like coming after me? After I left? Did you have any doubt about how we left things?" I asked, unsure of the answer.

And I miss the days

When I was young and naive

He looked down at the table, before speaking. "I did. But, I knew you deserved better so I let you go. I knew that you needed to be here, and have a life away from skating, away from team usa, away from me. For once in your life." He stated. I shook my head, god I hate this boy sometimes. "What?" He questioned, softly grabbing my hand. I looked back up towards him, "How could you have been so blind? How didn't you see that you were everything I wanted back in 2018 and now? Why didn't you come after me or fight for me? Why didn't you protect me? Don't sit here and say for one minute that I need a life away from you and everyhting. When I already have! I've been living my life away from you, while I have been begging the universe to have you back in my life. I wanted you then, and I want you more than ever now. So don't say you weren't good for me, you were." I rasped, pulling my hand away. He could see the tears forming in my eyes and drew a shaky breath. "But we were young-" I cut him off, "Yes. We were young and naive. God, I miss those days when everyhting was new and sudden and innocent. Because, atleast I had you." I rasped, sitting up and grabbing my bag. By now the whole room had cleared, plus the bartender. Quinn grabbed my arm softly, to stop me. I looked down at it, before looking up at him.

He was now standing in front of me, and all I wanted to do was grab ahold of him in fear, he would disappear.

"I miss those days too, more than you know." he softly spoke, before doing what I had wanted him to do for so long. He kissed me with urgency, bringing us closer together. I wrapper my arms around his neck and smiled into it. I wanted him, and only him.

We broke apart, gathering our breaths. "I don't want you to leave." I murmured. He hummed in agreemant, before taking my hand and walking us out into the hotel lobby. "Wait - what are you doing?" I asked Quinn as he walked us up to the front desk. "Good evening, can we get a room for two for tonight?" Quinn asked, and the front desk lady could tell I was confused. She smiled softly, reaching for a room key and Quinn settled the rest.

We took the elevator up, not being able to be more than six feet apart. He kissed my neck, causing me to giggle. "Woah there huggy, how much did you have to drink?" I grinned, pulling him off the elevator and to our room.

We walked into our room, immediately pulling off our shoes and his jacket. I paused for a second, pulling at my zipper, which started coming undone instantly. I then felt his warm hands, move my hand so he could pull it the rest of the way down. Hands softly pulled my dress off, and I stepped out of it. I turned around and grinned, unbuttoning his dress shirt as he worked on his pants. We were two teenagers in love. Running from the wolves. High on adrenaline, alcohol and the act of sneaking around.

He pulled me in, walking us back towards the bed and I giggled as he pushed us onto it. I turned over onto my side, so I could straddle him. I placed my hands on his chest, and held them there for a second to take in this moment. This moment, we had been waiting for for years. It was actually happening again.

"You ok?" He asked tracing a soft hand on my thigh, making me feel even more comfortable. I nodded smiling, before reconnecting our lips.

It was the following morning, as I laid in the hotel room alone, where I couldn't help but feel on cloud 9. Quinn had left an hour after we slept together, and he told me to keep the room for the night. He told me that he wanted to see me again before he left this afternoon, but I wasn't sure with my brunch plans, if that would work. If not, I told him i'd be in Michigan when the Canucks came to play Detroit, becauseI know Ellen would hate for me to miss it. He smiled, giving me many kisses before he went off into the night.

I wanted all of it. I wanted him, share his life's biggest moments, his life up in Vancouver. I wanted everything with him, and from what he said last night after everything, made it seem like he wanted me there too. He wanted me, again- as if he never wanted me. He promised, me this time he would communicate more, he would show me that he wanted me and he would defend me when the situation presented itself. He wouldn't leave me high and dry.

But I know every chapter must end, for a new one to begin. Yet, this life is so unpredicatable. This story that I have created, is not perfect, and it never will be. But I know, that the best is yet to come. I can close my eyes, and see the life I want and the best part of my story is about to begin. The thrill that is new, exciting and going to take my breath away. You never know.

KIND of alluding to Oliva Rodrigos latest song from her disney show: You Never Know. buttttttt. I hope you guys enjoyed, please reblog and like. :)

Some tags: @cuttergauth @hugheshugs @jayda12

#Quinn hughes #Quinn Hughes x au #Quinn Hughes fic #Quinn hughes blurb #Quinn Hughes imagine #nhl #hockey #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #nhl blurb #hockey blurb #sour hockey imagines

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moonlit-imagines · 3 years

Text

Slipping Away

Jason Todd x reader

warnings: shot description of jason’s face industries

a/n: no this is not an oc idea im basing this off of not at all nope nah nope. (it might be. okay it is. it’s titans!leila but more emotional and less angry)

prompt: @captainshazamerica: “Aihosvakvsi Lacey I'm so sorry, I'm a dumbass cause I swear i read the pinned post and re read the rules but apparently I cant read😅😅😅🤦🏻‍♀️okay, SO xD Can I have a oneshot of being the close younger sibling of Titans Jason Todd and seeing him go through, you know, everything(😅)(like current red hood arc) and reader being real conflicted cause she is super close with jason and hates seeing him go through this but obviously doesnt approve. and with hurt/comfort if possible?(and/or angst with a hapoy/fluff ending?) Thanks so much! Hope you are having a good week!”

Now that everyone was back in Gotham, it was officially time to get to the bottom of this mess. Wayne Manor was bleak—er than usual. And it all started when Jason, the boy that was practically your brother by now, was brutally murdered by your father’s arch nemesis. A hell of a way to go, and not one unfamiliar to the citizens of Gotham City.

You were struggling during this whole mess and things only seemed to get more difficult. More heart-wrenching and sick. Every breath you took set off another cruel, confusing event for you and your family, both Bat and Titan, to investigate and take care of.

And it all started because you weren’t there. Just a night off so you could enjoy your city for what it was instead of lurking on rooftops and stalking potential troublemakers. Jason needed space, you needed fresh air. Perfect trade off. “Call me if you need anything, Jay. I mean it.” You told him while gathering your things near the exit of the garage, about to pick one of many keys belonging to one of many cars.

“I probably won’t. Benched, remember?” Jason gave you a passive-aggressive reminder of his current stance with Bruce and you rolled your eyes. “Oh, come on, y/n. It’s not fair! You’re still allowed to go out in a suit and throw bad guys in jail!”

“He’ll come around eventually.” You patted Jason on the shoulder. “Bruce is just…he’s weird. I mean, he dresses like a bat to fight crime, you know he has problems.” You chuckled to yourself, but your brother was not in the mood. “Listen, Jason. You haven’t been yourself in a while, he’s just looking out for you.”

“Bullshit!” Jason threw your arm away from his shoulder and backed up, causing you to raise your eyebrows in surprise. “You and Dick never get scolded like I do. I got sent away to San Francisco because I needed to be ‘corrected.’ And it was the worst mistake of my life.” He shouted at you and you began to walk away. “You don’t want to admit it, but Bruce hates me and loves you!” His voice echoed through the garage.

“Have it your way, Jason.” You waved him off and stepped into your chosen vehicle. Just before you slammed the door, you spoke your last words to him. “I really hope you stop focusing on Robin and start focusing on yourself or else you’re gonna end up dead.”

It wasn’t until later that night you’d regret those words, the moment you got a news alert from your phone just after parking your car. The headline: Joker’s Last Laugh: Clown Surrenders After Bludgeoning Batman’s Sidekick Robin. You read the title over and over until your phone began to ring, it was Barbara Gordon herself. You knew what was coming and you burst into tears just before answering the phone.

“Y/N? Y/N…you heard already.” She heard you crying to the point where you could barely speak. “He’s here, and Bruce is going to be here soon. Come to GCPD, I’m here for you.” Barbara assured and you hummed an “okay” before hanging up and hyperventilating behind the wheel. Your mind was just racing with questions.

Why did he do this? Why didn’t he call you? How did it happen? Why did the Joker surrender? Should you pay a visit to Arkham? Should you call Dick?

“Dick…” You mumbled, sniffling thickly and lifting up your phone to call him. But you hesitated. You couldn’t bare to talk to anyone else about this right now and threw your phone aside. “Later.” While still shaking from pure shock, you started your car and drove to GCPD. By the time you got there Bruce had just landed, so it was just you and Babs. You silently walked down the hall to the morgue, arms crossed and hands squeezing them to the point of bruising. You weren’t ready to see him, but you couldn’t refrain. The coroner unzipped the bag slowly, making seconds feel like hours. Barbara reached out for your hand and grasped it tightly as you laid eyes on him and gasped.

“I know, I know.” She whispered to you as you broke down once again. “We have Joker, we’re gonna make him pay.”

“Pay?” You took your hand away. “He’s never going to pay! It’s the same story over and over! He murders, you throw him in Arkham, he schemes, breaks out, and murders again!” You snapped at her in the coroner’s company. Barbara peered over at him awkwardly.

“Could you give us a minute, Eddie?” She requested and he nodded, promptly exiting the uncomfortable scene and shutting the door behind him. “Y/N, it’s really all that we can do. He’s clinically insane, practically untouchable by the law. And Bruce…he wouldn’t…”

“But I would.” You stared at Jason’s broken face, exposed skull. “I was taught to do so, maybe I should.” Barbara took you by the hand again, much more aggressively.

“You aren’t an assassin anymore, y/n. Do not stoop back down to your mother’s level.” She warned and you looked back over to Jason, knowing what he would have wanted. Just before you could say anything, the door swung open. “Bruce…”

“Dad.” You gulped and he said nothing, just walked forward and stared at Jason. Your brother, his son, Gotham’s Robin. “Dad, I’m sorry. I don’t know why he didn’t call me, I would have stopped him. I’m sorry.” You began to beg for forgiveness, but he was in no mood to speak to you or anyone else, for that matter. Growing frustrated, you stormed out of the room and decided it was time to call Dick. You were shaking again, missing the right buttons on your phone. Once it started ringing, you didn’t know what to say.

“Hey, y/n. What’s up?” Dick answered.

“You haven’t seen the news yet.” You observed out loud.

“What? What do you mean.” He waited for you to respond during a long pause. “Y/N?”

“Jason—” You thought you’d make it through the sentence, but even speaking his name felt like you failed him. “Jason’s dead.” The line went silent. “It was Joker. I don’t know what happened, we’re at the morgue right now, Bruce just landed half an hour ago. I don’t think he’s okay. Dick, please come home.” You began begging another quiet family member and heard him start shuffling around.

“I’m on my way.”

—————

The funeral happened before Dick even got home. Bruce was more distant than usual. You felt alone.

One thing after another, Bruce lost his mind. You woke up to one more person missing from their bed and Dick, he had to call in the Titans.

You were both relieved and furious that the Joker was dead. You’d been a killer before, you could have done it again for the right reasons. But your father, he was off the deep end and now missing. You should have been the one to do it. Just another thing to blame yourself for. So you decided to sit out on the Bat thing, just for the night. You had backup, so it gave you time to recuperate.

But that just wasn’t the end of it, because when the Titans came back from their night of wonders, Dick had to pull you aside and tell you disturbing news.

“Y/N, hey, sit down with me for a second.” Dick asked you, pulling out one of the Batcave chairs while the other Titans stood nearby, waiting for your reaction. “Tonight we ran into another Red Hood terrorizing Gotham.”

“Yeah,” you adjusted yourself in the seat, “what about him? Joker sparked another comeback?” You turned around to see all of your colleagues intently staring.

“Something like that.” Dick sighed and kneeled down in front of you. “It was Jason. He’s alive.”

“No, he’s not.” You quickly replied. “He’s not, I saw his body. Bruce buried him. He’s gone.” You began to panic inside.

“Did you see Bruce bury him. Did you see him in the casket?” Dick questioned and you just stared at him with watering eyes and a quivering lip. He nodded and opened his arms. “Come here.” You fell into them and began sobbing once more. You felt so weak and tired from the amount you cried, but you’d never experienced such a devastating loss. You didn’t know how to cope losing a brother, one so close to you. You couldn’t process his death, let alone coming back. Dick rubbed your back for a moment and assured you, “We’re going to figure this out.”

“Y/N, come on,” Kory softly said with her hand on your shoulder, “let’s go back upstairs. All of us. After tonight, we all need some rest. We’ll figure everything out in the morning.” You wiped your tears on your sleeve and agreed, feeling all eyes on you as you left the cave with her. “You okay?”

“Not really.” You laughed. “Not everyday your brother dies, your dad becomes a murderer and disappears, and your brother comes back as a terrorist.”

“Yeah, you Bats never seem to get a break.” She wrapped her arm around your should. “But the Titans are here for you one hundred percent. Anything you need.”

“Thanks, Kory.”

—————

Dick knocked on your door first thing the next morning, slowly letting himself in. “Hey, Gar’s making breakfast for everyone. You okay to come down?” He asked while walking to your bed. “As soon as we finish we can start looking into the Jason thing, okay? Did you get any sleep last night?”

“Not really.” You laid on your pillow and looked up at him. “And I doubt you did, either.” Dick sort of smiled at that, but before he could think of something to say, there was a large crash in the kitchen and a series of overlapping shouting.

“It’s fine, I got it!” Conner yelled and you assumed everything was cleaned up in a moment’s time. It actually got you to smile.

“Okay, I’ll have breakfast with you.” You pushed the covers off of yourself and walked with your brother through Wayne Manor, although it didn’t feel much like Wayne Manor anymore. It was much brighter with the Titans roaming the halls.

“Y/N, Dick told me what your favorite was!” Gar held up a plate of breakfast foods and smiled widely, exposing what sort of looked like fangs. “Still hot.”

“Thanks, Gar.” You smiled weakly back and took the plate, sitting with the rest of the Titans who tried their best not to stare at you, but they were worried. They really were, but they let you eat in peace while having light conversations around you. There was something about their presence that calmed you, there was less tiptoeing around the Manor, especially since Alfred passed. You continued clearing your plate and your spot and walked down to the Batcave without another word.

“Are they okay?” Conner asked Dick and everyone looked over at him, who knew you best. Dick gave them a very forced smirk and nodded.

“They will be. They just need some time to process this.” Dick began to clean his own spot at the table, too. “I know y/n’s had their fair share of loss, but their grieving process…it was tattered when they lived with their mom and grandfather.” He explained, piquing the Titans interest. They knew you, had fought alongside you, but you still chose to keep some things to yourself.

“Are their mother and grandfather people we would know of?” Gar inquired.

“Ever hear of the League of Assassins?” Dick answered his question with another and Gar’s jaw fell a bit. Dick then made his way to the cave to meet you, with the rest of his team following loosely behind. They found you replaying the security footage from the Titan’s encounter last night, trying your best to zoom in on Red Hood and evaluate his movements.

“How is he back?” Conner asked the big question. “I mean, y/n, you saw him, right? After the…the Joker.” You didn’t look away from the replay, but answered him honestly.

“His face was bashed in. Bone exposed. Brain, too. But his face here, I mean, it isn’t much to go off of, but I don’t see any cavities in his facial structure at all. He…looks…fine.” As you explained it to them, you began to realize just what you were saying. The other Titans thought you were beginning to lose your grip again and backed away, but you were trying to evaluate just how possible your idea was. “Fuck!” You shouted, slamming your hands on the computer and rushing up the stairs. Everyone jumped as a reaction and a few followed suit.

“Y/N? What’s wrong, are you okay? Talk to us!” Kory tried to console you, but no one knew why exactly you had began this little rampage. Once you got to your room, you crawled underneath your bed to pull out a large case full of some al Ghūl heirlooms. Among those were weapons, robes, and several papers, scrolls, maps. One map contained locations of known Lazarus Pits in the United States, “just in case you need it,” Ra’s said to you some time ago.

“What is that? A map of what? I can’t read Arabic.” Dick looked over your shoulder, analyzing the map as best as he could.

“Lazarus.” You whispered and Dick’s eyes went wide.

“You don’t really think that’s what this is, do you?” Dick asked you, hand on your shoulder as the others stared in confusion.

“Dad told me to check all these locations a while ago, but I never got around to it. I didn’t think I’d need to. But it makes sense, Dick. Everything about it does.” You explained to him, along with the rest of the team.

“Meaning?” Gar chimed in hoping to get something more from this, but the only person in this room who knew the full effects of the Put was you, and you were now terrified.

“It’s worse than we thought.” You shoved the case back under your bed and ran back to the cave, leaving everyone with a very disturbing sort of idea in their heads as they tried to understand what you meant. You began to cross reference the map locations with the morgue and quickly found your answer. The Titans and you learned of a Pit below GCPD.

“Can you please explain to us what exactly this Pit does and why it’s so worrying?” Kory requested and you felt your chest begin to grow tighter. It pained you to know that Jason was out there alone somewhere with the effects of Lazarus.

“My…My mom’s side of the family—specifically my grandfather—had found Lazarus pits some years ago. Their like enchanted pools, he used them to keep himself young because they have these certain healing properties.” You nervously explained, uncovering some unsavory memories. “The only thing is that there are side effects to them. It messes with your mind, and the more serious the injury…the worse the effect is…and…”

“You don’t have to go on if you don’t want to, y/n. It’s okay.” Dick tried to stop you, but you wanted to be more open with the team. The Titans were on the edge of their seats.

“No, it’s okay. I need them to know how dangerous this situation is.” You assured him and continued. “My grandfather kept himself alive for centuries with them, but each time he came out, he seemed to lose it for a bit. And I…I had used it once. There was a traitor among our ranks when I was much younger. He, uh, he stabbed me through the chest and my mother threw me into the Pit. It was a feeling I’ll never forget, and my mind…I wasn’t ready for it. For weeks I was extremely unstable and the psychological turmoil haunts me to this day.” You finished your story and saw pity in their eyes, making you wish that the story wasn’t even true.

“You only described injuries, though. Have you ever seen someone get resurrected?” Conner asked and you tensed up.

“No, but it’s not impossible. That’s what worries me,” you looked back at images of the new Jason, “who knows how messed up his brain is of he was healed from death.”

—————

Days went by and tragedy struck again and again, all by the fault of Jason Todd. But the thing is that you didn’t really believe it was Jason in there. It was Lazarus, or Scarecrow, the drugs, something else. It was not Jason. You and Gar had agreed on that much and he became a shoulder to lean on, but the others weren’t as patient with him. They needed to take him down.

“No, you guys don’t understand. He doesn’t need to be brought down, he needs help.” You pleaded with the team, trying your best to get them to see that he was still one of you, but the death of Hank shook their faith too hard.

“Y/N, he’s dangerous. I know you love him, we all did. But that’s not Jason anymore.” Kory approached with a soft voice and tried to get you to see things their way, but you saw things Jason’s way. What he was doing was wrong, but he could still be saved from it. He’d never be the same, but you’d do anything to help him. You’d want them to do the same.

“I refuse to give up on him.” You pushed her hands off of you and stormed down to the Batcave taking off on one of your motorcycles. Fortunately, you’d kept a secret from the rest of your team. Jason’s tracker was still online, you’d realized that a few days ago and had been keeping tabs on Jason and Crane, spotting them on warehouse cameras and such. The only problem is that the signal could sometimes be blocked. But it was a start, and right now, it seemed that Jason was alone.

“Y/N? Where are you going?” Gar said over your comms.

“I’m taking care of shit.” You answered and turned your earpiece off before peeling out and searching for your brother. He was just walking the street when you found him, completely alone and seemingly upset. You pulled up beside him and flipped your helmet up. “Jason?” You asked and he continued walking, so you walked your bike alongside him. “Jason? Can you hear me?”

“Go away.” He growled, shoving his hands in his pockets. You sighed and hopped off the motorcycle, turning on its security measures and catching up to your brother. “I said go away. I don’t want any more trouble.”

“I know you don’t.” You stopped in front of him and tried to look him in the eyes, they told a story. Bloodshot, dark circles, pupils normal. The effects of the Lazarus Pit had worn off, but he was exhausted. “I don’t want any trouble either. I just want my brother back.”

“You can’t, he’s gone.” He nearly got lost walking through a crowd of people, but you wouldn’t let him get away that easily. He veered off into a parking garage and you ran in with him.

“I know what you’ve been through.” You called after him, hearing your voice echo. “But I can’t talk to you here.”

“Then don’t.” He bluntly replied. You grabbed him by the arm and he willfully stopped.

“When’s the last time you ate?” You asked him and he stayed silent, looking away from your eyes. “Come on, we can go get some fast food and go to my apartment in the city. No one else knows about it.” Your hand trailed down his arms to his own hand. “You’re still my brother. I don’t like what you’ve done, but I know what led you to do it.” You began to walk and he walked beside you, letting you lead him down the street and back to your motorcycle. After about fifteen minutes, you’d obtained two bags full of food. Burgers, fries, drinks, and such, whatever he wanted, you could tell he was starving. It was a hassle being able to hold it tight on the bike, but you guys were pretty resourceful.

“The others are mad at me, aren’t they?” Jason asked you as you parked your bike and grabbed your share of the food. You sighed and grabbed the keys from your pocket.

“Some of them are. But I think they’re just really worried about you and the path you’re going down.” There was a long period of silence between the ground floor and your apartment on the fourth. You let him into the cozy little “safehouse” you’d made for yourself to get out of the Manor. “I know it was the Lazarus Pit.”

“I figured. Takes one to know one.” He sat down at the barstool near your kitchen and ripped into the bag, starting to eat his food like an animal.

“What I don’t get is why you turned to Crane in the first place.” You explained to him, sitting by his side. “He gave you drugs and marketed them as an out and you took the bait. You’re a Robin, what made you think that was a good idea?”

“I was a Robin.” He corrected quickly. “And I needed…I needed something. Something that was going to stop the nightmares, the flashbacks. I needed to get away from what was left of SF.”

“You needed help, Jason. You could have come to me.” You reminded him without cornering him. “And Scarecrow, he’s manipulative, you knew that when you went to him. That led you to become a terrorist, a murderer. That’s never going to go away.”

“Are you speaking from experience?” Jason grabbed his drink, giving you an antagonist little look and seemed to be reverting to his former self. It gave you a bit of relief to see him in a better mood.

“You know how my grandfather treated me.” You answered with a hint of regret in your voice as you remembered your time with the League. “I was a weapon to him, nothing more. When Bruce found out the truth he rescued me from them. If I remember correctly, Bruce saved you from a rough situation, too.”

“You’re still a weapon.” He reminded you. “And he left me in the dust. I died, y/n. Where did Bruce go? I don’t see him here now.” Jason began to get irritated.

“Bruce snapped and murdered the Joker. No one knows where the hell he is right now.” You revealed and Jason’s face dropped.

“That was Bruce?” You watched Jason look away from you and stare off for a moment, looking at all the decor in your apartment. Pictures of you and your family on the walls, little decorations and hidden weapons only he could spot from a mile away. “What did the others do?”

“Forgot about him. He’s a grown man with a lit of problems that are too late to solve. No one knows how to help him.” Your voice wavered as you wondered if you’d ever see your dad again. “You’re still worth fighting for. And I know what you felt being thrown into that Pit. Being resurrected is traumatic.”

“When do the nightmares go away?” Jason asked you about your own experiences.

“A couple weeks.” You assured. “I know it’s hard, but you’ll get through it.”

“Yeah, sure,” he whispered, “can I take a shower?”

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