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always-a-king-or-queen · 6 months

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The Pevensies are foreign when they return home.

The streets no longer know them. They do not seem to fit in their own bodies as they stroll the cobbles, Lucy’s hand tucked carefully into Peter’s, Edmund trailing watchfully behind Susan like a shadow. Their eyes are sharp, their smiles crooked, and those who see them cross to the opposite side of the road, afraid of the ancient gleam they see reflected back at them that does not belong in the eyes of a child.

Water murmurs to Lucy when she flits past, and lamplight follows her wherever she goes, even in broad daylight when the lamps are unlit. Their flames sputter into existence when she walks by, flickering at her in a way that seems to whisper I know you. Lucy looks at them with feral teeth and smiles, and vines twist from the cobbles at her feet. She laughs like a wild thing, eyes glowing, but a moment later she blinks and it is gone. Her feet hardly seem to touch the ground at all as she darts through the alleys.

The sky is clearer when Peter walks the streets, clouds vanishing like they were never there at all. His eyes are too much like a lion’s, struck through with gold and filled with a brooding fierceness, yet he laughs as he twirls Lucy around, and claps Edmund on the back as they share a stupid joke, and smiles with Susan when she tells him of the bow she plans to carve. He is all warmth and friendliness, but there is something about his eyes. There is something about all of their eyes.

The sun caresses Susan as she moves about, and she is graceful, too graceful, her hair seeming to be alive of its own accord as she steps lightly along the streets. Her skin is pale like ice, and sometimes her gaze appears almost silver as she stands by the river, gazing into its depths with a distant, siren-cold smile. She is gentle, but her fingers look a little too long sometimes. Her laugh is a little too unsettling.

Trees lean towards Edmund when he walks past, branches scraping his clothing, leaves showering around him. Books and journals and pages covered in notes perpetually fill his arms, spilling from his grasp but never quite falling. His voice is even-keeled, quiet, but there is something wild about it, something unhinged. He speaks of things none have ever heard before, dark hair falling into his eyes, mouth unsmiling and hands perfectly still, and for a moment he seems to be someone else, fangs beneath his lips, dirt on his tongue. He tilts his head just a little too far, sometimes.

The Pevensies are foreign when they return home. They do not fit their bodies. They do not fit the streets. People who encounter them cross to the other side of the road to avoid them, terrified of the oldness they see in the children’s faces. Such depth does not belong in the gaze of a child.

And yet four sets of eyes, ancient and deep and flickering like candlelight, stare out from the children’s faces, and their smiles are sharp, too sharp. Their laughter is a little too wild as they walk, the oldest and youngest hand-in-hand, the middle children trailing each other like shadows.

There is something about those children’s eyes.

There is something about those children.

#narnia #edmund pevensie #lucy pevensie #peter pevensie #susan pevensie #the chronicles of narnia #writing #ramblings from the void

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thoughtkick · 3 months

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I think we love who we love and there’s not a damn thing that can be done about it.

Susan Donovan, He Loves Lucy

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stay-close · 3 months

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One of the most amazing things that can happen is finding someone who sees everything you are and won’t let you be anything less. They see the potential of you. They see endless possibilities. And through their eyes, you start to see yourself the same way. As someone who matters. As someone who can make a difference in this world.

Susane Colasanti

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thehopefulquotes · 11 months

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It’s interesting how something that comes so easily to one person can be so impossible for someone else.

Susane Colasanti, So Much Closer

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quotefeeling · 7 days

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I must change my life so that I can live it, not wait for it.

Susan Sontag, Reborn: Journals and Notebooks, 1947-1964

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radio-writes · 19 days

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Hi, will u do a human alastor x side mistress reader, so basically he has a wife, but he doesn't really love her, so when he's on the air he has sex with his side mistress in the radio tower. His side mistress knows he's a serial killer, by the way. You don't have to do this if u don't want to. I love ur fics.

By the Gold Ring on His Hand

Synopsis: He loved you and only you. You were his to cherish, to adore, to worship. Sweet words he whispered softy, promisingly, into your ear. Sweet words he also whispered softly to his wife.

Warnings: smut, oral (m receiving), mentions of murder, heavy manipulation, cheating

Tags: human!alastor, alastor x reader, gn!reader, reader is the other wo/man

MDNI

You've always revered Alastor.

You were entranced by the way his smile never broke. The way he seemed to take control of any situation he was put in. The he always managed to just charm the socks off of anyone he's ever met.

You loved the way he made little corny jokes. You loved the way he danced—barely drunk from the bottles of rye he downed.

And oh, did you love the way he spoke.

You could listen to him all day on the radio, just absolutely smitten and melting where you stood.

The one thing you didn't love about Alastor—the one thing you despised, really—was his wife.

That naive little thing. So meek, so quiet. You always hated the way she would cling onto his arm at parties. Loathed the way she'd shyly smile at everyone, including you.

There was just no way that delicate stupid girl could satisfy someone like Alastor.

Alastor needed, deserved, a real partner. One that had enough of a spine not to be stepped on, at the very least.

Your fingers twitched, aching to touch him more; to caress his thighs that perfectly framed your head. You wanted to feel him beneath you, reassure your heart that he was here with you.

You groaned as your longing was denied. You felt Alastor press his shoes harder against your hands, pinning your palms to the floor. The fingers in your hair tightened their grip, guiding you more strictly down his cock.

It was enough to cheer you up a little. Although your touch was declined, the little vibrations your sounds made clearly still had an effect on him. You felt a little proud knowing something as small as you moaning around him pleasured the hefty cock in your mouth.

The reality was far more bitter, though. Not that Alastor would ever let you know that.

Truth be told his grip was a warning. He had explicitly told you to be quiet, to keep your hands to yourself. But you seemed to be so adamant on testing his patience today, as you were refusing to do both.

Alastor's smile strained just a tad bit more in annoyance as he spoke into the microphone. "Hate to finish up the broadcast with some sour news, but someone's gotta keep you lovely folks up to date!"

You continued to bob your head between his legs, hidden from the rest of crew by the control panel. You made sure to drag the flat of your tongue over the under side of Alastor's dick each every time you lowered your mouth to his crotch. If your ministrations did anything for him, you couldn't really tell.

His voice was perfect, not a tone out of place as he continued his broadcast. You've never seen a man so well put together while having someone's mouth serve them so reverently.

"Seems the coppers found a couple more for the good old wooden kimonos last night. Grizzly sight it was—so I heard. Hate to be the ones to dig those poor souls out."

Even though he was the one to put them there in the first place, you suppressed a laugh. Not that you were complaining, though. It was part of how you and Alastor finally got together, after all.

Alastor finished up his broadcast, and you continued your slow little prayer on your knees. He waved his staff away when they tried to approach, simply sending them off with a friendly jest that he'd meet them at the bar after he cleaned up his work station.

It was only when the lock clicked behind his crew did Alastor finally acknowledge you. His lovely smile was intact, but you could tell his mood was a little soured by the way his brown eyes narrowed at you from behind his glasses.

The hand gripping your hair pulled you off his cock, a pathetic whine escaping your lips as he did so.

Alastor tried to ignore the—rather off putting—sight of a thin string of fluids connecting your mouth to the head of his dick. He bent down closer to you, keeping his gaze locked on yours.

"My dear, I thought I told you to be quiet while I worked." His voice was as sweet as ever.

You chuckled lightly, you wanted to move your hands to cup his cheek, bring him even closer to you. Perhaps even for a kiss to lift his seemingly bad mood.

The moment Alastor so much as felt your fingers twitch, he stepped harder on your hands again, keeping them pinned to the floor and away from him.

You opted to shrug your shoulders sheepishly instead. "I may have gotten carried away," You responded coyly "You just taste so good."

Alastor did his best not to cringe, choosing to tighten his smile. Ah, you were in one of your moods again, he thought.

"Then why don't you go ahead and have your fill of me now." His hand left the back of your head, resting instead on the sides of his chair as he leaned back. The gold band on his ring finger momentarily caught the light and drew your attention to it.

Your chest tightened just the slightest bit. You absolutely hated the reminder that Alastor wasn't fully yours. That he'd still go home to his stupid wife at the end of the day.

But not for long, at least that's what Alastor had promised you. And not right now.

You ran your tongue along the thick vein of his cock, from the bottom, up its shaft, and smiled at the sight of his hips bucking up to your touch.

"In your mouth now again, darling." It didn't sound like a request, but you obeyed faithfully anyway. You were rewarded with a soft sigh as you welcomed him back in your warm mouth.

You'd bet your job that his sweet little wife never pleased him like this. Skittish thing like that would probably run at the thought of putting her lips on a hard dick.

Well, her loss is your gain.

You were so far gone in your own head that you hadn't even noticed Alastor wasn't looking at you.

No, instead his head craned towards the ceiling of his studio, eyes closed and tired.

He was trying to focus on the physical sensations you brought him, not that he had much of an interest in it in the first place, but he tried hard to concentrate. All he had to do was finish, and he could finally leave. Leave you here with some sweet promises, and not have to deal with your disgustingly loving gaze on him until maybe his next shift on Monday.

Not that spending time with his wife at home felt any more appealing.

He pushed the thoughts away, willing his mind to stay on you instead. He thought he can finish, at least he could feel the bottom of his gut tightening just a tiny fair bit.

He focused on the way your tongue felt as it swirled around him. How your lips stretched so softly to fit his shaft. How you practically drooled over his cock. How you—

You were noisier now that you knew you were alone, and it wasn't doing Alastor any favors. A rather loud moan cutting through his mind and it almost made the coil in his gut loosen completely, his shoulders tensing instead.

No, no this just wouldn't do. He had much more interesting plans tonight than to sit there and buy your silence with his cock.

His hand reached out once more, much less gentle than it was before. With less grace and care, Alastor's hand rested on the back of your neck, before harshly pushing you down as he bucked his hips up.

Your eyes were wide, a surge of panic filled you at the suddenness of the sensation. His dick hit the back of your throat and you tried to pull back immediately.

Alastor's other hand came up to the back of your head to push you back down. Your nose pressed firmly to his skin as his cock pushed past your throat.

Your arms strained as you tried to use your hands to push him away, but Alastor merely stepped on your fingers harsher to get you to stay.

"Ah, fuck, darling. Stay like that. Oh that's lovely." You thought you heard him say.

He was finally looking down at you. The way you heaved as you choked on him. The way your body spasmed to get away. The way panic filled your pretty tearful eyes.

Your throat tightening around him as you tried desperately to breathe felt miles better than whatever you were trying to do before, and it was exactly what he needed.

"Finally," He breathed out softly, almost in a moan, feeling the coil in his gut finally snap. He pressed you down, just the tiniest bit more and you felt his warm seed flow down your willing throat.

"There we go, dear." Alastor's harsh grip in your hair loosened, slowly petting through your locks. The hand on your neck remained, locking you in and rendering you unable to pull free.

Your eyes flickered up to him, part of you ready to beg for mercy, but one sight of his dazed smile made you pliant. Your body relaxed into his touch, simply letting him ride his high out with your bruised throat.

He must have just gotten carried away, that's all. Simply something new he never got to do with his stupid wife.

You felt his softening dick slowly pull out of you, his shaft dragging across your tongue and you finally pulled free with a choked gasp of air.

A gentle hand tipped your face back to meet Alastor's before you could be too dramatic. He pressed a gentle, chaste, kiss to the corner of your lips to calm you.

"You'll have to forgive me, my dear. Your body just makes me feel far too good—just couldn't hold back." The charm practically oozed from his smooth tongue.

Your gaze softened immediately. Your hands, now free from beneath his feet, made their way to his cheeks but he easily pulled back.

Really, what on earth made you think he'd let you touch him with filthy hands. Had you forgotten he'd been stepping on them this entire time? Kind of rude, if you'd ask him.

Not that any of those thoughts showed when Alastor simply, gently, helped you up to your feet by your elbow.

"Always so good to me, my dear. How I got so lucky to have a divine thing like you service me, I'd never know." He stood up with you, part of him did enjoy it whenever he got to look down on you in a more literal sense.

He pressed his body against yours, arms on the control panel behind you as he caged you in. His lips barely grazed your ears as he continued his sweet, sweet, praises. "Why couldn't you have shown up sooner, dear? I would have had it all."

You placed your hand on his chest, failing to notice the way he flinched at the touch. "You still could, you know? All you have to do is leave that naive little thing and I could give you this every night." Your voice was low, seductive, alluring.

Alastor held back an annoyed groan. This again. His eyes rolled, not that you could see it with his head nuzzling against your shoulder.

"We both know I treat you so much better." You continued, hand trailing up to scratch at the hair at the bottom of his neck. "And I'd never hold you back from that little hobby of yours either."

He chuckled at that, you could feel his lips at the base of your neck. "My dear, we've been through this." His kisses were soft, gentle, barely touching you, just like how he preferred it. "You don't have to feel so threatened by her, it's you that I want."

"Then why don't you—"

A gasp passed your lips.

"Leave her?" Alastor continued your sentence when you couldn't. His warm tongue licked over the reddened skin he bit. "I will, my dear, I will. Things are just a bit complicated at the moment."

More complicated than you knew, really.

He couldn't leave his wife because her dad was a big boss of his station. His ass would be out on the streets in minutes if he ever hurt that shy doll.

But he couldn't just kill you either. Not when your dad was the town sheriff.

He was lucky you were so obsessed with him that fucking you once in a while was enough to keep your pretty little mouth shut.

Honestly, just fuck the day you caught him slicing that man's flesh. That scum was hardly worth all the trouble he now has to go through.

"But I'm working on it." Alastor promised as he finally pulled away from you.

You gazed up into his warm, honest eyes. You adored the way he towered over you, really. It's like you fit together so perfectly—like puzzle pieces, was it? Was that how that cheesy line went.

"And then we can be together?" Your palms move to cup his face, and Alastor caught them on instinct before they could.

But you didn't notice, not when he corrected his actions so smoothly by pressing his lips to your knuckles instead—he tried his best to ignore how filthy they are, just to hide his mistake. "Of course, darling. In fact, I think I can work things out by tonight."

Your father was going to be alone at the station.

Your eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Yes, my dear. Soon all of this hiding and sneaking around will be a thing of the past." He said, almost with the same amount of excitement as you.

He couldn't wait to toss your body in a ditch next to your old man's corpse.

"But I musn't be late"

He'll miss his chance to slit your father's throat if he lingered any longer.

"Soon you wouldn't have to be jealous of my wife, dear."

After all, the dead don't envy do they?

Alastor willed himself to humor you one last time, pressing his lips to yours before he bid you a good night.

He couldn't have rushed out that door any faster.

Who would have known trying to keep his cover would have eaten up so much of his time? He barely had any left to do the very act he was even trying to cover for.

Honestly, how troublesome.

But no matter, no matter.

He glanced back at the station. He could vaguely see your lovestruck figure through the window. He watched amusedly as you pathetically held your fingers to your lips, absolutely lost on cloud nine.

It won't be long until he was rid of you, and that fact was enough to lift his sour mood.

#tw: mentions of murder #tw: heavy manipulation #tw: cheating #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin alastor #hazbin alastor x reader #alastor #alastor x reader #alastor smut #gn!reader #vien writes #I'm sorry i made alastor want to kill you #i just couldn't see him wanting a mistress for any other reason besides this #alastor only fucks to fuck with people in my book if that makes sense #if the smut seems choppy y'all can blame susan

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perfectquote · 6 months

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I want deeper connections with the people around me. I need to reach out more. Because not everyone leaves. Sometimes if you reach out, the person you’re trying to reach will be right there waiting.

Susane Colasanti, So Much Closer

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zuzanwrites · 2 years

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"Hey, You're Bleeding!" (Optimus x Reader Story)

(from: https://pin.it/5eeGE87)

Disclaimers: Negative talk of the Self, Self Harm and potential Depression and Suicide implied.

Ped Steps = Footsteps

Digit = Finger

Faceplate = Face

Characters Mentioned: Miko, Ratchet and Optimus Prime.

"Hey, you're bleeding!" I look to where Miko is referring to and noticed that my right arm was bleeding. I immediately try to clean and cover it up before putting my hands behind my back. I must have cut myself too deep with a small piece from my broken tablet stand last night.

I tried to acknowledge it but not make a big deal of it. "I must have hit my arm on something last night." I said, scratching the back of my head before giving an attempted natural laugh before going to the base's bathroom down the hall.

I was washing off my right arm before noticing my left arm was starting to bleed too. "Shit." I started to pace while my arms were both tightly wrapped in towels. "What am I going to do? If I go out like this everyone is sure to question me." I quickly started texting Miko.

"Don't say anything, I'll handle it myself. Please." It sent.

I tried to think of what to say to take her mind off it for a couple of seconds. So I sent, "Your next 4 ice creams are on me." It was starting to get warm so this was bound to work.

I saw three dots and Miko's reply saying, "Fine."

I put my phone away and checked my wrists and noticed they stopped bleeding, so I took a deep breath and headed for the couch next to Miko.

It was barely even five minutes before I heard Ratchet's annoyed but firm voice say,

"(Y/N), may I speak with you please?"

I quietly ground my teeth slightly afraid of what Ratchet was going to ask about. As time was ticking by I sighed and mumbled, "No more delaying the inevitable." So I went to Ratchet's fenced-off area, I guess that's what you can call it. "Yeah Ratchet?" I said as normal as possible.

"Someone told me that you may have cut your own wrists. is this true?" Ratchet asked with a strong look of concern on his face.

I tried to deny it and bring something dumb and stupid "to light", instead before looking away. "No... and that "someone-"", I air quoted, "-was most definitely Miko."

"I can tell that you're lying (Y/N). Have you done anything to help or solve this?" Ratchet worriedly asked.

"I have seen a therapist about it and she did prescribe me medicine to help which I have taken daily. But I stopped seeing them because I don't have the money to see them anymore. I don't have $120 a month to "throw away" really..." I started to feel ashamed of myself now. "It doesn't get to that extent that often but I messed up last night." I was trying to not get emotional when I started hearing loud ped steps going in the direction of the main room.

"What is... Going on everyone?" A deep, low voice asked. I breathed in before starting to walk away but stopped in my tracks the second I heard Ratchet's voice start to speak. Then my heart started to sink because everything I just told Ratchet was being whispered to Optimus. I looked behind me and saw them talking.

I need air.

I need to get out of here.

This is too much.

I can't feel my own breath.

I quickly ran to the elevator that went to the top of the base and went in. It was a beautiful sunset and was exactly the reverse of the pride flag (showing purple, blue, green, yellow, orange and red). I sat not close to the edge but close enough that just my heels and a good chunk of my calves were off the edge. I took a deep breath and admired the sunset enjoying the calm that I desperately needed.

Even though it was close to a half hour, it was short because before I knew it, I heard heavy ped steps walking towards my direction. I sighed, "If you're expecting answers, prepare to be disappointed because I don't have any really..." I heard a loud thump next to me and looked and saw Optimus sitting next to me, with his peds and lower calves completely over the edge.

"How long has it been happening?" Optimus's baritone voice of worry and concern asked.

I sighed, feeling myself nocibly becoming numb and said, "A few months ago." I kept my head turned away, not wanting Optimus to see the tears that I knew were going to fall out of my eyes shortly. "Don't blame yourself, You wouldn't have known, I was hiding it well from everyone... Too well but I knew how much it would hurt everyone if they knew... So I kept it all to myself and let it eat myself up inside." I felt one tear start to roll down my cheek. I looked next to me, at Optimus's faceplate and saw that he was in a sort of daze, probably looking for signs. I held his digit. "It's not your fault."

Optimus started to look back at me. "If Ratchet never told me, would you have ever told me this was happening?" Optimus had solemn worry "all over him".

I wanted to tell the truth and say "No", but I semi-lied by saying "Probably. Definitely when I stopped and didn't, I guess feel like this anymore." I bit my inner lip.

"You're lying... Why wouldn't you tell me?" Optimus figured out that I lied.

"I wouldn't, because you and everyone else deserve all of the happiness in the world and I didn't want the constant look of fear on everyone's faces." i felt another tear rolled down my cheek.

"And you don't deserve happiness too?" Optimus inquired, put my hand in his.

"Sometimes I feel like I don't. Maybe because I feel like I haven't worked hard enough to feel like I deserve it. Maybe because I feel like I'm not good enough to deserve that happiness." I pulled my knees up and wrapped my arms around them before crying. "And I know I deserve it but I really don't feel like I do." I started to cry harder, thinking about how everyone would take the news if my suicide was successful. "I understand if you want me to leave or anything, I know this is too much for anyone to handle." I tried to wipe the tears from my eyes, trying to calm down.

"Yes, this is a lot. But losing you, that would be too much." Optimus put his open servo next to me and I got on. I started to feel a warm radiance coming from his chest as he pulled me closer. "Is there anything else you want to talk about pertaining to this matter?" Optimus looked down.

I stopped lying so I shook my hand to say "so-so", maybe. I took a deep breath and asked. "I'm not a failure, I'm not stupid, useless or replaceable, right?" I looked down trying to hide any tears I had left.

"Primus no, you are none of those things." Optimus started rubbing my back with his thumb digit.

I tried to smile but knew that it wouldn't work. "You are right but I wish I could understand why I feel this bad about myself." I started to rub my thighs, to try to soothe myself. "It gets worse when I remember thinking that if I got in a relationship with someone that if they were abusive and hit me or anything similar that I honestly deserved it." I covered my mouth realizing that I just told Optimus one of my darkest and deepest fears. "I try not to let depression, and everything get "too far" but it's difficult when you believe those lies about yourself." I rested my head on his chest, letting the warmth consume me, taking a couple of deep breaths.

"Do you want to go for a drive and enjoy the night sky a little?" Optimus asked, remembering that that had always calmed me. I could stay here all night but a drive does sound like a good idea.

So I answered, "Sure." and Optimus held me as we went back down the elevator and transformed, with me sitting in the passenger's seat going through the steel doors of the base. I looked up and the night sky and mumbled, "I don't deserve this." letting a small smile start to creep onto my face.

I guess Optimus could sense I was doubting something so he said, "You deserve this (y/n), you deserve every second of this. Never think otherwise."

I started to cry again but this time, tears of happiness. "You're right Optimus, you are 100% right. Thank you." A big smile came on my face.

"Just you smiling and being the (y/n) I enjoy being in the company of is more than enough thank you for me." Optimus's voice radiated with the steering wheel.

#tfp optimus prime #tfp optimus x reader #optimus prime #transformers #transformers prime #Susan Writes

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