#Survivor!MC

[weadapt]

When Cal is in full Dark Side Rage Mode™, if you obliterate some enemies and take a moment to let his idle animation begin, he will aggressively clip his lightsaber back onto his belt.

#Cal is terrifying #he needs a serious break from life #his life is horrible #cal kestis #jedi survivor #star wars #merrin #merrical #jedi fallen order #nightsister merrin #greez dritus #jaro tapal #jedi survivor spoilers #he jus a widdle bit angy #he is just so done with everything #mc talks

[todayinhiphophistory]

Today in Hip Hop History:

Pete Rock released his debut solo album Soul Survivor November 10, 1998

#today in hip hop history #todayinhiphophistory #hiphop #hip-hop #hip hop #hip hop music #hip hop history #music #history #rap #hip hop culture #music history #pete rock #soul survivor #album #emcee #mc #rapper #music producer #producer #1998 #98 #dj #deejay

[xeymol]

Dramatic shitpost from earlier today

For context I made this because I got mc Donald’s and I had my sketchbook with me which had a mortified monk on it I did for an expression practice and got the idea for this doodle lol

#rain world #rw monk #rw survivor #mc donalds #hamburger cheeseburger Big Mac wopper #i had so much fun making this💀 #survivor feel so out of place in the last frame it’s funny to me lol

[luminous-letters]

uhm cater and ace and deuce with an s/o that's horror themed? (what that means is up to you, like are they an mc of a horror movie, the eldritch monster, etc.) do this at your own pace or just ignore it if you're uncomfy thanks!

anon anon 🥺 tysm for the ask!! ^^ i had a lot of fun with this

"Open wide!" Ace cooed, trying to feed you a spoonful of strawberry ice cream.

Alright opening now! He's definitely not making you test it whether it was still good or not. It's been a month or two in the freezer, or maybe since Trey's birthday?

Is your mouth that big?

Why isn't it stopping?

It's unhinging like a snake.

Holy shit.

Still not stopping.

Your entire jaw's stretched that it's covering your entire face.

What the fuck?

He's trembling.

A second mouth licked the ice cream off the spoon.

WAIT A MINUTE, A SECOND MOUTH?

"Tasty~ I want another one," you laughed.

Ace was busy rocking on the floor, hands on his knees.

"Oh come on, it isn't that scary."

Deuce doesn't understand why everyone's so afraid of you.

You're a sweetheart.

Nine feet tall, fourteen arms, twenty-eight eyes, a flaming crown above your 'head' and eighteen wings that ALSO have eyes! A biblically accurate angel from above.

A sweetheart!

And he'll beat the shit out of anyone who says otherwise!

Want to keep a low profile, you say?

His solution?

Sunglasses and a cap!

Maybe two, no three...hmm...maybe he'll need more pairs of shades.

"Alright, Cater, before we begin this date, I just want to say a few things."

"Alrighty! What is it?"

"Don't mind the noises or the figures you'll see come 2:56 a.m. Don't go into water if you see some black hairs and please don't try to watch any cassette tapes when we get to my place. Got it?"

"Sure thing."

Weird.

He forgot about it anyways. What's to fear? He's been to a lot of 'haunted' houses through the years, and nothing's so scary about that.

It couldn't possibly be that bad?

Five paranormal activities, eight times trying to get out of the bathtub without getting dragged, and two times kicking that Sadako-looking ass back into the TV later and he believed you. Wholeheartedly, without a doubt.

"CAN'T WE DO A SEANCE OR SOMETHING? AN EXORCISM? CALL THE POPE?"

"Told you." you sighed, sprinkling a line of salt across the door, pulling out something from your pocket.

"Is that a Glock?"

"It's a magical Glock, mind you, and her name's Madeleine."

#twst #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #gn!mc #gender neutral reader #twst x reader #mc is an eldritch horror #mc is a biblically accurate angel #mc is a horror movie survivor (possibly a winchester) #ace trappola x reader #deuce spade x reader #cater diamond x reader #ace trappola #deuce spade #cater diamond #twst headcanons #twst imagines #answered ask #writing #my writing

[silverstagspirit]

Survivor of Ramshackle -part 1

This is based off a scenario I mentioned earlier in my blog about Yuu's home being destroyed whilst they were away. There will be multiple parts to this.

A/n: I try to make the MC gender neutral, but I'm sorry if I make an error whilst writing. This Yuu is GN, by the way.

Warnings: mild swearing, Angst, Ace implies keeping you hostage as a joke, but Deuce quickly puts him in his place. The later chapters will get darker.

PART 2

-

Everyone had gathered into the mirror chamber to bid Yuu farewell. The boys had really taken a liking to them. Even if they would put them through a lot of trouble at times. Likewise, they loved the boys, too. As each of the boys take thier turns to say goodbye, they admit some tears were shed. Crowley had found a way home for Yuu right after Grim's overblot, but he informed them that once they went back, they would not be able to return unless extra steps were made. Which of course won't happen. And they accepted the offer. After all, they still had a life and a family back home who were wondering where they were.

"It's not fair! I don't want them to go!" Complained a certain fire-eared monster.

"Grim, we cannot just keep 'em hostage here... but that would be a good backup pla- OW!!"

"WE ARE NOT DOING THAT!"

"Did you really have to hit me that hard Deuce? That hurt man."

"Ace, we must respect thier decisions."

"Yeah, I know I know."

It was now Jack's turn to join the conversation. "Plans have been made for you Grim. So you don't have to worry about needing Yuu for school."

"The Great Grim still needs his henchman to do his bidding and clean Ramshackle."

"Just admit it weasel, you're going to miss them too."

"Fgnaahhh!!"

"You're not helping Ace." Epel turns to Grim. "We understand Grim. Yuu has become a great friend to all of us. But it's time to say goodbye."

"Hnnngghh"

"Yuu! Don't go! Who will feed me tuna? Who will scratch my ears? Who will wrap me up in thier jacket during the winter break? I'm ordering you to stay minion!" Grim cried. Yuu kneeled down to comfort him. "Grim, listen to me. I am going back, yes, but I will not forget you. You mean so much to me Grim. But I still have others at the other side of that portal who are waiting for me. I need to meet up with them." You brush a stray tear from his face. "Do me a favor Grim. Stay here, attend your classes and study well. So that when I return to you someday, you will be the Greatest Mage ever like you wanted and we can go on more adventures together. Does that sound alright?" Grim sniffed and nodded. "Please come back some day." "I can't promise it, but I'll try."

"Oi! Herbivore. Just get going already. I want to leave now."Some things never change." They sighed as Leona sulked. Leona wasn't the only one who was feeling annoyed more than sad at this time. They admit that some of these boys were assholes. Some of them have even yet to apologize after all they've put them through. But they won't let that get in the way of the good memories they had in this world. Or at least they hope.

-

Yuu had just said goodbye to the last person when the headmaster came in.

"Prefect! The dark mirror is now ready! You must come immediately if you are to return home!" He hollered.

"Well, here I go."

Yuu stands up to the portal with tears in their eyes. Their heart hammering. This was it. They were finally going home. They can't wait to see their family again. It's been so long. What has changed since they left? Is everyone doing alright? They needed to know. The mirror pulsates with magical energy. Sparking up at some parts. Yuu turned back to look at the other students one last time. Then, with bated breath, they stepped through the portal.

-

"So that's it."

Besides this one remark. The mirror chamber was filled with silence. No one dared say anything. Everyone filed out of the room and went back to thier dorms.

Two idiots were helping Grim settle into Hearstlabyul. And got collared after breaking three Queen of Hearts rules whilst doing so. Trey baked cookies for them so they didn't complain as much after. After they made it to thier room the three students began to chat and banter with each other. Nothing had really changed for them. Same for the other dorms. Vil did his makeup. Idia did his tech. Leona slept. Azul ran the lounge. Overall, nothing had really changed.

"Kalim. You need to do this assignment."

"Oh, sorry Jamil. I'll be right there."

The vice pressed his dormleader to do what needed completion but something was distracting him.

"Do you think Yuu made it back safe?"

"..." Jamil had a suspicion that that was what was on his mind but he was not prepared to answer that question. "I'm sure they're happy Kalim. Now please get this done. Crewel will not show mercy if you fail."

"I know it's just... I have questions: What do they do? What do they have to eat at thier welcome home feasts?-" "I doubt that they have feasts Kalim." Kalim ignored what he said and kept going. "What are thier family like? I mean they are from another world so thier family structure could be different to ours. Hnnnghhh! Why am I only asking these questions now that they are gone?!"

"KALIM!!"

The housewarden went quiet immediately.

"They are fine okay. Yuu would not want you to spend all your time worrying about them. So just relax. They are fine."

Kalim thought about what Jamil just said.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. You're always right Jamil." The boy beamed whilst the vice rolled his eyes.

----------

I apologize for any mistakes. I also edited this into they/them pronouns because I find it easier to write with.

A/N: Go check out probablynoposts blog. They did a series on this prompt whilst this was still in the drafts. They did a very good job I must say. So kudos to them.

Taglist: @kami-kun1003

#twisted wonderland angst #twisted wonderland #overblot yuu #overblot #yuu #angst #kalim al asim #jamil viper #ace trappola #deuce spade #jack howl #epel felmier #dire crowley #Survivor of Ramshackle #twst angst #twst #twst x mc #twst × Yuu #Yuu × cast platonic

[7er1ch0]

BACKGROUNDS ARE A LIE CREATED BY THE GOVERNMENT

Also I feel like Levi would mainly cosplay female characters.

I also have a whole study relating to his relationship to his relationship with cosplay but you know what that's a post for another day, I’m tired. 

#OBEY ME #Obey Me Levi #obey me mc #obey me shall we date #omswd oc #omswd fanart #omswd #omswd au #obey me teen mc #teen mc #obey me leviathan #anyway so you ever think about how its literally impossible to relate to the teenage angst songs that are about not fitting becuase your chu #bby while i spent the entirty of my highschool career dealing with stress induced migrians survivors guilt and possibly undiganoised autism #its just weird hearing someone sing about not fitting with the cool kids cause their body isent the right shape when i had to be excused #from almost all school events simply cause it made me feel like a bat was being swung against my head

[mybrainproblems]

thinking about how 5x04 birthmarks actually sets up house's childhood as being more fucked up than i think the writers intended.

like okay. to run down: john house is abusive towards his son. house deduces that his dad isn't his biological father when he's 12 and confronts him about it. as a result, his dad proceeds to not speak to him for months besides leaving notes at his bedroom door. house's belief that his dad isn't his biological father is eventually vindicated after john's death and he realizes that his mother didn't like his father much either.

which. jesus christ. can we just take a step back and let that sink in? his mother had an affair and house is the result of that. and his mom just..... lets her husband abuse her son? it doesn't sound like she really stepped in at any point to stop it and the only time we see his parents together she makes excuses for her husband's behavior. and like. house is born in 1959 so yes, it's not like his mother could easily leave her husband and i'm not saying that blythe house is evil bc it is a difficult situation given the time period, but the way the narrative frames her (lack of) action in such a passive way vs acknowledging that she's complicit is... really fucked up tbh! and i'm not saying that a victim of child abuse can't love their parents bc it's really complicated! but it's just such a weird thing to toss out there like a dead fish to fester in the sun and do absolutely nothing else with it.

i really don't know that the writers fully thought through the implications of the back story they set up even tho it ends up explaining why house puts up with a lot of really messed up shit from the people around him.

#good morning and hello! woke up thinking about this! #side bar: it's weird the only characters they constantly bring up pre-series back stories for are cameron and to a lesser extent foreman #thirteen is defined by having huntington's so her backstory comes up but not in the same way it comes up with cameron or foreman #everyone clearly had a life pre-series and currently has a personal life but only the two characters are constantly defined by their pasts #so it just makes it weirder to drop this Very Big and Serious back story for house when we don't know a lot about him even tho he's the mc #which is the same thing conan doyle did with sherlock: he has a past and it's referenced but not critical and that's *fine* #but there's really no closing the pandora's box once you've had the reveal that house is the survivor of child abuse and the product of #an affair that his mother had and she seemingly didn't step in a whole lot to stop it tho she was there for the aftermath #this rewatch is just so fascinating. i'm getting such a different experience out of it and i have no clue why. #hate crimes md #house md #gregory house

[thenixkat]

@rjalker since I see people keep bringing Fullmetal Alchemist in the notes of your ‘dont use magic to be ableist’ disability post.

You know I keep seeing people bring up Fullmetal Alchemist on ‘how good’ its disability representation is and none of them fucking bring up the point that the main character’s disabilities are a punishment inflicted in him by more or less god for perceived sin. And that at least 2 other characters are disabled for the same reason.

Or that the major goal of the main character is to cure himself and his brother of their disabilities.

It is not the disability rep yall keep claiming it is. Regardless of how well written the characters disabilities effecting them is written.

#nix meows #fullmetal alchemist #disability in media #not all of the characters are disabled b/c of divine punishment but several major ones are #the mc does manage to cure his brother of his disability by the end and get one of his amputated limbs back #the wildest one to me is the character who gets #magically blinded (as divine punishment) and then a few chapters later #he gets his blindness cured by using a magic rock made of the souls of a racial group he helped commit genocide against #without asking any of the survivors of that genocide for permission #and the writer saw nothing wrong with this

[hiraetheanine]

TW: RAMCOA, Mentions of Christianity/Catholicism, Last Dawn Programming, Execution Day Programming, Callback/Chi Programming.

I am a RAMCOA victim, but I cannot remember the majority of it. I recently came to a discovery about something I have believed for a long time.

This is the only place I feel as though I can say it despite it possibly not being safe. Perhaps I can find other people through this who have been through the same thing.

I turned 18 this year. I was told I would die by 18. I don’t remember being told this, but for as long as I can remember I thought I would die by 18. In headspace we had a clock counting down our inevitable death.

As the date approached our memory was jogged and we remembered what we were supposed to die by. A green comet. We accepted that fact and fully believed in it, so we did not plan for a life after 18. We theorised what would happen after death. It did not scare us, it comforted us.

Then our birthday came and a month after a green comet passed by the Earth. Green comets are rare.

Our birthday was anticlimactic and afterwards we split an alter who thought they were dead (or multiple) and fell into a severe depressive episode. But that day and the days following up to it were full of dissociation and an extreme mess.

It’s been a few months since then. Sometimes our Chi program acts up and searches for anything and everything about the group to go back. Or people who will abuse us again, the same way, or even worse. It craves it. It wants it to happen. Sometimes our paranoia gets the best of us and worries that they’re back. Something triggers it, but I’m not sure what. Sometimes we wish to die. Sometimes we become hypervigilant and look for all information we can about green comets.

I have a few theories about what the group was, but no names. I don’t know if the green comet was a big part of the group or not. I don’t remember anything. Sometimes I fear I’m making it up, but I remember other groups such as a predator ring and more, and reactions to things that shouldn’t cause a reaction. When I first started reading about RAMCOA it caused a system shut down, it caused us to run away from home, it caused us to sit at 2 am with homeless people talking about the world, it caused us to pass out and have seizures from stress. And now we’re diagnosed with a seizure disorder and have seizures multiple times a week, typically induced by stress. Despite that, I still feel like I’m making it all up, or that I have a delusional disorder of some kind. I think I’m writing this in hopes to have any sort of comfort that I’m not alone or delusional as people have said I am.

My Theories:

1. Green Comet is a metaphor for the Fourth Horseman of Revelation.

2. The cult was a copycat cult of the Heaven’s Gate.

3. It was personalised.

Green Comets are rare, so why specifically green? The Fourth Horseman of Revelation is Death, and rides a pale green horse. I have had a fear of horses, but I thought it was due to my mother’s own fear. It feels like a fear but not my own fear at the same time. We are catholic and come from an extremely Catholic country. The four horsemen are catholic/christian. My step dad was incredibly religious, but he died when I was around 11.

I don’t know too much about Heaven’s Gate but when I try to find information about a green comet cult, it shows up. I recall, when I was younger, naming something Heaven’s Gate before knowing what it meant.

A friend of mine said that the group could have personalised it to me specifically. But I hope not. I don’t want to be alone in this.

I’m not entirely sure what to believe. I think there is a hope that I can find survivors of the same cult, and reassurance that I’m not alone and I’m not making this up.

#ramcoa #tbmc #ritual abuse #organised abuse #organized abuse #hc did #hc did system #ramcoa system #cult survivor #death cult #ra #mc #oa #cult #religious abuse #religious cult #our post

[weadapt]

I think it’s interesting storytelling how in the beginning of the game Cal says the Sixth Sister’s name, Masana Tide, and reminds her of who she used to be—and it visibly distresses her because it hurts what was done to her and Cal isn’t wrong in what he’s saying. The shocking thing for me was the moment when Cal said “It’s time to set you free”. It was such a surreal feeling hearing Cal say that, those kinds of words, to know he decided it was time to strike her down; it’s understandable because she killed his entire crew, but for Cal to be the executioner in that way was scary to see coming after only experiencing the young kid he was in Fallen Order. Now you really get the feeling Cal has been through a lot, he’s grown as a man since Fallen Order and he’s calloused, not entirely in a bad way given he’d have to be to survive but still in a depressing way, as a result. I know overall and gameplay wise, Cal has killed a lot of people, it’s nothing new, but storytelling wise it’s a serious moment for Cal. It’s a moment you know is going to follow him the rest of the game for character development. After he kills her, it’s made clear by the music and by Cal’s body language that this isn’t a good thing coming from him. It isn’t a triumph. Even BD-1 knows and worries for Cal with his little “Boop…?” and Cal is only able to respond rather shakily, “Yeah… I’m okay”.

When he meets up with Bode and Bravo and they ask him what happened to the Inquisitor, he gives a simple, no emotion, “Dead”. The long pause of Bravo not saying anything in response to me says a lot; it feels like he isn’t used to Cal having a reaction like that.

Then we have Rayvis. Cal defeats him in battle and asks him to join in the fight against Dagan. He doesn’t want to kill Rayvis—“You don’t have to do this”. The oddly tragic part to me is that Rayvis has dreams of seeing Tanalorr again. If Dagan succeeds his dream will be realized, but he’s given up on the dream and wants a warrior’s death now. He wants to die, and in his mind, honorably, by Cal’s hands, and he’s going to force Cal to do it. But for Cal it’s another execution on his part. He pauses before he lifts his saber and kills Rayvis. It isn’t a triumph. Again we’re given a sudden swell of music to tell us the emotion behind the action of killing Rayvis. You can see it’s affected Cal badly. BD-1 seems to ask Cal the same question as before, “Boop…?” but this time Cal doesn’t acknowledge the question and just replies, “We should go”.

Killing Dagan hurts for Cal too. Dagan is a Jedi, someone who held onto the Order, who tied his entire identity to it and all of his goals are focused on restoring the Order and fighting to change the universe. Just like Cal in a way. Dagan is single-mindedly focused on the mission, so obsessively, he lost himself and the one he loved as a result. Cal understands and see the parallel of that kind of drive in his own mission against the Empire and it terrifies him. Dagan could’ve helped him fight the Empire but it became another tragic moment of having to kill a once fellow Jedi. This is another tragedy. Bode doesn’t care about Dagan being dead on the floor but Cal does. Cal has enough respect to place Dagan’s lightsaber on his chest. Cal pauses to reflect but Bode immediately gets back to getting the compass.

We have this interesting arch of reactions to killing his opponents. They were each killed for the mission. It was necessary. They each started the fight against him. No matter the reason though, it’s still very painful for Cal.

Cal is being pushed into this direction of forcing him to question his beliefs and who he is. His whole identity at this point has been tied to the Order, of being a Jedi, and it’s very clear by his conversations in Fallen Order that it really matters to who he is. By the end of Survivor, we have three fallen Jedi: Masana Tide, Dagan Gera, and Bode Akuna. So who is Cal Kestis? What will he become? Is he doomed to fall like they did? That’s what troubles him—“Let’s just say I don’t wanna end up like him [Dagan]”.

He’s afraid he’s going to lose himself.

The fear is almost realized when he’s about to kill another opponent. The one behind the murders of his friends and mentors. Cal’s been killing each of his main opponents up to the point at Nova Garon—this one will be no different. Except killing the man who sent Bode on the mission to infiltrate his team is different. Cal is on the edge of losing himself to the Dark Side. In Fallen Order he pleaded for Cere not to use the Dark Side because “She’s stronger than that”, “[she] still had a choice”. But Cal is failing to remember any of that for himself. He wants to kill because he’s angry, grieving, and in immense pain. Merrin has to bring him back—“This is not you!” There’s a question of whether or not Cal would’ve been able to stop himself if Merrin hadn’t been there though.

When we get to the final battle, Merrin is warning Cal of what’s likely going to happen but he ignores her for a while which prompts her to say, “Well? Say something!” He doesn’t want to acknowledge that Merrin is right and they’re likely going to have to kill Bode, and with that, taking Kata’s father away—a loss of family Cal and Merrin know too much about. So they both try and give Bode every chance to stop and turn away from what he’s done, despite how much Bode had hurt them. Sadly, Cal once again is forced into using the Dark Side to prevent Bode from killing Merrin. It was worth it. It was worth using it to save Merrin. He couldn’t let her be killed. He couldn’t see that happen before his eyes like he had with all of his friends and mentors.

After everything is over, there’s this sickly feeling left behind. Not simply because of Bode’s death, but because of the impact on Merrin realizing Kata has lost family just like she and Cal had, but also because of the impact the death of Bode has on Cal. And after Cal carries away Bode’s body, the music changes to an eerie, ominous, high pitch, minor key when we see Cal board the Mantis. The kind of change in music which lets the audience know there’s something seriously wrong. Things are different now. Cal’s different. And he knows it.

He’s lost in time watching the pyre, reflecting on everything that had happened but also on how grateful he is to Cere, but he knows the impact of her loss will continue to be with him for the rest of his life. Just like Jaro Tapal. Another guiding force in his life is gone. With Cere and Cordova gone, there is no longer any Jedi wisdom to seek out. He’s now alone in that way as a Jedi.

“I’m scared… I almost lost myself… I don’t know if I’m ready.”

Cal and the audience is left with the dreadful realization—

“I don’t know if I’m ready for what comes next”.

#legit don’t know what I’m taking about . #I honestly don’t want a third game cuz I’m scared #sorry for the ramble I really think about this game too much #I’ve only play it once but I gotta play it again so I can be traumatized a second time #thanks for listening to my Ted talk #mc talks #sobbing #cal kestis #jedi survivor #merrin #star wars #merrical #jedi fallen order #jedi survivor spoilers #nightsister merrin #greez dritus #jaro tapal #kata akuna #dagan gera #santari khri #rayvis #Jedi #I don’t want anything to happen to cal #I really really don’t #I have so much more to say about cal but imma try #*cry #I gotta stop writing this stuff in my phone

[todayinhiphophistory]

Today in Hip Hop History:

Pete Rock released his debut solo album Soul Survivor November 10, 1998

#today in hip hop history #todayinhiphophistory #hiphop #hip-hop #hip hop #hip hop music #hip hop history #hip hop culture #music #history #music history #pete rock #soul survivor #album #emcee #mc #rap #rapper #producer #music producer #dj #deejay #1998

[indecisive-v]

reopening my dusty old devil survivor 3 ideas google doc and trying to decipher what i was cooking with some of these notes

#at some point i wrote down a bit about the mc really liking eggs for surprisingly thematic reasons i will not elaborate on #devil survivor #shin megami tensei

[crystaledhearts]

A little vent and asking for advice at the end below the "----"

Tw: MC, abuse, denial (nothing too detailed)

I've been through severe conditioning to the point of MC. I don't remember much and while I should be lucky I didn't go through programming or got held captive or something, my circumstances were fortunate for my abusers where they didn't even needed that. I had no safe place, I had abuse everywhere in every aspect in my life up until I was around 20. And I am so fucked up because I am doing things I can't control because specific alters think its their job to continue the abuse, go back or hurt us. I just recently found out that the "main persecutor" actually thinks its his job to continue specific things because "otherwise we would die" and he just "wants the pain to finally stop".

I feel like I have nowhere to go because I just fall inbetween cases. Either it's not as severe as mine, completely different or more severe than mine. And I don't want to degrade it or something, it just feels so lonely. Especially when I start talking about it and I get the response of "well at least it wasnt worse". Sure, I was lucky. But was I? Just because it wasn't worse? It feeds into my denial that my whole past wasn't "that bad" and leave me confused even though having DID should already be proof enough that something was definitely "bad enough".

I just feel lost and alone and I feel so powerless because the conditioning is still so engrained because it went from age 9-16 (abuse started earlier but conditioning was in that age span).

-----

Does anyone have any idea on how to handle the urges to go back to abusers?

Or how to handle times when you are triggered in a specific way of doing certain tasks which you don't want to do but resisting would lead to punishment?

Or if you "fail" how to avoid losing control and the urge of harming yourself?

(I am in therapy but here is no specialist nor do i have enough money to go often. I usually go every 4-8 weeks for an hour.)

It is bad enough. Just because it “could be worse” doesn’t mean anything. It was bad enough. Honestly, the conditioning sounds like it could be incomplete or potential programming but I could be wrong and I’m only one person.

For your questions asking for advice:

What we do is distract ourselves. We don’t want the abuse but we do at the same time. So, we distract ourselves via games, reading, or seeing if we can spend time with someone. If none of that works, we journal our feelings and why it’s bad for us.

What we do for ours is try and change it up little by little. We’re still doing the task but we’re changing it little by little to make it our own and then we can stop. We aren’t causing it to lead to a failure, we’ve changed it and letting it change to where we can get it to stop and not have to hurt ourselves or where we don’t spiral saying we’ve done something wrong.

We did it the way we changed it to and stop when that change was done.

This might not help for everyone and others might have things that can help you more. I’d keep an eye here for anything (comments, reblogs).

#anti endo #ramcoa #ramcoa survivor #tbmc did #tbmc survivor #hc did #tbmc #tw tbmc #programmed did #programming survivor #tw mc mention #tw mc #tw mind control #tw mind control mention #tw abuse mention #tw abuse #tw denial #tw denial mention

[veresk-is-back-at-it-again]

sometimes im genuinely surprised at how many people . genuinely ship cal and merrin? ESPECIALLY in the second game?

like dont get me wrong people can ship whatever they want but the way fandom latched onto calmerrin as THE ship for cal is ... weird to me? especially since we have bode? because for me calmerrin dynamic kind of. falls apart. in the second game. long rant below

so for me calmerrin were not a. GOOD. ship in the first game. not because i didnt like their dynamic- i thought it was kind cute and they had potential to grow together- but mostly because i absolutely headcanon them as a gay/lesbian duo. i genuinely thought that they worked best as friends- platonic soulmates, who find comfort in each other not in a desperate, romantice fire way, but in a way you sought comfort from hot coals in the fireplace. they will warm you for a long time, despite never being a straight out fire. but even back then, i could see the appeal- they were both survivors, both forced to carry the weight of their cultures, trying to salvage what they can from the unforgiving empire. cal, despite the heartbreak and suffering was a hopeful, and optimistic person, while merrin needed someone to show that not everything was bitterness and anger.

but then the second game came. and the mantis team broke up (for reasons, and yeah, it does have a justification) and when merrin talked with cal (dont rememver if it was before or after the kiss) she said that they didn’t share that unique survivor bond. at some level, it makes sense- there WERE a lot of families that got torn apart by the empire. but for me, her words didnt make a sliver of sense- their bond wasnt that of orphans, their bond was that of (basically) the sole survivors of entire cultures- not just their family was killed, their very existence as a jedi and a nightsister was paradoxal. because they didn’t just have to live on- they had to rebuild, scrap by scrap, inch by a blood-earned inch their cultures. thousands of years of traditions, language, practices. and then merrin tells cal that- that it wasnt unique? that their bond was no more than that of orphans? it didnt sit right with me.

and of course, cal changed. cal isnt nearly as hopeful- he still hopes, of course, but he became hardened, more bitter and anxious (and it probably has to do with him losing his third family. like. seriously. my man has at this point a very much worsening cocktail of survivors guilt, ptsd, attachment issues and lord knows what else). merrin is older now, she is more experienced, but she didnt really... change, i think. maybe she is more optimistic, though we didnt see it properly.

also can i say something, since we’re all here anyway? why the fuck was greez the only one to hug that kid when meeting cal after all this time? genuinely. like, what is up with that? cere and merrin barely pat his shoulder. would it kill them to give cal a hug? this is why greez is my favorite, his love isnt carefully contained and hidden.

back on track. so in the first part, we had this wonderful mix- cal would be the bright-eyes, optimistic counterpart to merrins guarded, and cautious presence. but in this game the only way i see them having a similar bond is merrin helping cal to fight the darkness which is... okay, i guess. but there is no back and forth. i dont see how they could make each other better people. i dont see how they could work as anything but platonic soulmates. to me, cal doesnt want merrin- he doesnt truly want her as his romantic partner. he wants people to stop leaving him.

this is probably very messy and maybe doesnt make sense, but cut me some slack, i am barely functional on my best days.

#jedi fallen order #jedi survivor #star wars #star wars jedi survivor #long rant #istg people at this point ship calmerrin bc they want their mc to have a goth gf

[karolinevassalor]

MC in trial against Knight.

*have lunchbreak with Sander while Tarhos chase David*

Sander: you not gonna help him?

MC: *Munch* he is a big boy, he'll manage it.

Sander: I dont think so. Boss gonna get him.

MC: i talked about Tarhos.

*David start to run their direction*

*MC use her leg to make David fall*

MC: Dont even think about it. *pat Tarhos shoulder* now he your.

#dbd #dead by daylight #tarhos kovács #david king #dbd guard #mc #mc is a survivor #she hate david as he always bully quentin #suprisingly good pals with some of the killers #knight tsundere for her #but guards like her #dbd knight #dbd quentin

[hopefromadoomedtimeline]

“Trunks should be more badass!” “Trunks should be more edgy!” “Trunks would be disappointed with how X turned out!”

Nah, Trunks shows that despite being someone who constantly struggles and has experiences the worst stuff that he’s still someone who keeps his humanity no matter what happens. At no point would him judging others harshly or taking a major level in cynicism make him more interesting, it’d just actually make him blend in with like 95% of other apocalyptic survivors in media.

He’s very interesting (to me) because he shows the opposite of side of a person who experiences the worst an apocalypse has to offer, instead of being an angry, jaded, bitter and cynical person, he’s kind, empathetic and attempts to do what he feels will help people. And despite constantly losing, it’s his determination that allows him to pull through and finally reach those goals for the good of himself and others.

A character not being a raging jerk who can never lose doesn’t mean they’re not interesting smh smh

#Out of Time (OOC) #this just popped in my head bc i saw someone write 'oh future trunks and gohan would be disappointed in their counterparts' like no? shut up #and don't get me wrong i do enjoy gritty pragmatic protagonists and i do love me an apocalypse #but part of my enjoyment from trunks is that he's so unlike the norm for that template #i can think of maybe like two apocalypse survivor mcs that don't fall into the same sort of template #where it's of 'cold and willing to do whatever it takes no matter who has to die' and i get it those kind of stories are about #the cruelties of humanity and showing desperation at its peak #but it makes me appreciate that trunks is so different than the norm despite being in the same situation #anyway rant over #idk if any of this made sense