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#Sunkist Recipes
py6oto · 7 months
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this has already been done before by many people, but i still wanted to do it because it's just a really funny joke.
2023.08.22
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goshyesvintageads · 1 year
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Globe Mills, 1944
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getinthehandbasket · 5 months
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So like.. I just discovered Watertok, and I think it's fucking brilliant.
I've NEVER been able to down just plain water in any type of quantity beyond like.. "I'm dying of thirst and must have a drop or I will die" or "I need to take some meds." It's gotta be flavored for me. So I've relied on flavor packets and flavor drops/liquids.
And now I find out that some women have been inventing entire mixology theories about it? MAKING SHIT LIKE BIRTHDAY CAKE OR ROCKET POP? Sign me the fuck up! Why are people shitting so hard on the trend? I think it's brilliant!
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02/29/2024 Daily OFMD Recap
TLDR; Cast & Crew Sightings; VicoOrtiz; Gypsy Taylor; Samba Schutte; How to Help: Ranker Polls; BBC News; New Appreciation Events; Rhys' 50th Birthday; NewarkNewark Watch Party with @adoptourcrew; Watch Party Reminders; PeopleOfEarth; TheseThems; SaveOFMDCrew; Calendar;Fundraiser Goals; LeapDayBingo; FanSpotlight; Collages;Trading Cards; LoveNotes; Daily Darby/Tonight's Taika
= Cast&Crew Sightings =
= Vico Ortiz =
Sorry were you planning on getting anything done today?
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Vico has so much going on! "These Flowers Might Be Ours" read by Vico is available now on Amazon.co.uk!
Also too, ActNow: LA's LQBTQ+ Acting Class will be doing a scene study with Vico starting March 10th!
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= Gypsy Taylor =
Our favourite costume designed Gypsy Taylor was interviewed by @screenaustralia! Check out the Podcast episode here. Src: Gypsy's Instagram
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= Samba Schutte =
Just a little celebration of Leap Day!
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== How to Help ==
Polls are still up! So that Ranker poll is still there! It's still taking responses, please feel free to stop in and push OFMD up! (You could even do it on multiple browsers!... not that I'd recommend something like that). Our friend @patchworkpiratebear was kind enough to make a helpful infographic since it is a bit of a goofy set up. Link to the Ranking
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Step 5: You can actually rank the other shows and they still affect the ranking of OFMD.
== BBC News ==
So this was a cool catch by @queerly-autistic, our friend over here on tumblr and twitter. "A Pirate Comedy with a cult following". Talk about making noise!
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I know I've seen several asks lately regarding whether or not the time slot change for OFMD on BBC was a good or a bad thing. @queerly-autistic had some great insight on this. Please check out their thread here. "It's a really great slot to have the show advertised in, and I was so surprised and thrilled to see them giving it that space (and specifically pushing people to watch it on iPlayer)"
== New Appreciation Events! ==
March 21: Rhys' 50th Birthday
Do you have prepared best wishes for our pirate captain? 
Use the hashtag #youwear50well in your social media posts! Also, here's a neat list of time zones to ensure our birthday wishes will be the first thing Rhys sees (depending on whether he's in NZ or LA at that time!) Tweet/Insta at the times of your zone to ensure timely impact. 
12 AM on March 21 in New Zealand is: 
    12 PM on March 20 for AEDT/Sydney
    11 AM on March 20 for GMT/London
    7 AM on March 20 for EST/New York
12 AM on March 21 in LA is: 
    6 PM on March 20 for AEDT/Sydney
    7 AM on March 21 for GMT/London
    3 AM on March 21 for EST/New York
Thank you so much to our lovely friend @yronnia and all the other folks working on this project! Super cool!
= More Watch Parties! =
Please join @adoptourcrew for a @NewarkNewark watch party on March 5th at 10 pm GMT/ 2pm PS / 5pm EST!
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== Watch Party Reminders! ==
Coming down to the end of s2 Friends! #People Of Earth continues tomorrow and then a whole rewatch on Saturday! 10 pm GMT / 5pm EST / 4pm CST / 2pm PST!
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= Mar 1: THESE THEMS WATCH PARTY =
Join @adoptourcrew on Friday 3/1 for a watch party of #TheseThems! Times haven't been secured quite yet but mark your calendars!
Watch Party Hashtags:
#TheseThems
#These Gems
#AdoptOurCrew
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== Save OFMD Crew ==
= Calendar =
Tomorrow is #ImmoderateCitrus Day! (National Sunkist Citrus Day in the US). Feel free to reach out to the @saveofmdcrewmates about citrus-related faves: food, drink, clothing, recipes, or art!
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= UK Advertising Fundraiser =
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The truck stretch goal was met! The final stretch goal is getting petitions up in the tube in the UK! As always friends, donating is not a requirement but if you want and can afford it, that's great too!
== Leap Day Bingo ==
Today was Leap Day Bingo! Bingo credit to the lovely @OFMDBingo42 on Twitter or @Our_Flag_Means_Bingo on IG! There are several versions, see how many you can find across our socials. 😘
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== Fan Spotlight ==
Febuary 29 bring the February LOVE #OurFlagMeansDeath Collage Fest to a close! Thank you again @wndrngnomad for taking the time to make such lovely dedications to our favourite show, cast, and crew!
Wanna see them all? Check them out here!
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== Cast Trading Cards ==
Appropriate timing considering all the Vico sightings we've been seeing lately! Our lovely @melvisik has done it again. I didn't realize Vico was in Harley Quinn!
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== Love Notes ==
HEY YOU!
Yes, YOU!
LOOK AT YOU!
With your awesome face, and your sweet ass smile!
Who do you think you are bringing all the swagger and charisma up in here? You're gonna blow this world away with that kind of powerful aura!
You are kicking ass today! Seriously, give yourself a big hug and a fist pump and say, "HELL YEAH!" because you are rocking it!
Now get out there and do whatever you're doing-- sleeping, playing, working, strutting, etc-- and show the next 24 hrs who'se's boss!
Love you crew <3
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== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==
Today's Darby is brought to you by none other than @sherlockig.
Daily Taika is by @memzhay. Why are these related? Idfk know, they just felt like generally the same vibe. Rhys being a cat chasing a string, and Taika a pup playing dead. (It's opposite day cause it's Leap Day, I guess).
Don't ask me how my mind works. I gave up many many moons ago.
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Drinking Water & Staying Hydrated
On this account we cover how to do things that are "common sense" for the people who dont know. Shame-free. Today, we'll be covering some tips and tricks for drinking more water when you're unmotivated to or simply forget.
If you were to ever find yourself lost in the wilderness, the first thing you would wanna look for ASAP is a source of water. Humans need around 8 glasses (~2L) of water a day that our bodies can function right! It's very important, as dehydration can lead to constipation, kidney stones, overheating, exhaustion and generally a really bad mood!
Water helps to..
• keep your joints flexible
• regulate your temperature
• clean your insides via sweat/urination
• digest, salivate, transport nutrients
• carrying oxygen to your cells
• maintaining electrolyte balance
And much more. We're made up of around 60% water, after all. Though, drinking that much water every day can be a very tiresome chore for many of us, especially those who struggle with executive dysfunction and mental illness. Never fear: we've compiled a big list of little actions you can take that might help you drink a little bit more water in a day. Don't worry if 2 liters of water sounds like a big step! Even a few sips more makes a big difference. Progress is not linear!
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1) Switch it up - Water is obviously tasteless and for many people this deters them from staying hydrated when they could opt for something more sweet or exciting like a juice or soda. Luckily, there are dozens of ways to spice up your drinks. Hundreds of artificial flavorings exist; MiO, Sunkist, Starburst and other more affordable off brand water enhancers can transform your drink into something more flavorful. Whether you want something tart like lemonade, savory like iced tea or sweet like fruit punch, there's an enhancer that will fit your taste.
If you would prefer something more natural, there's countless recipes for fruit infused water. Cucumbers, lemon slices and mint can give your water that subtle boost you need to encourage hydration. Below we'll link some recipes if you'd like to try them.
For some people, its not so much the taste, but more so the texture. If you're a soda lover, opt for some sparkling water instead, flavored or unflavored. Brands like LaCroix, Sparkling Ice and Bubly can all give you the same smooth sipping of a soft drink while helping you meet your water quota for the day.
If none of these sound like something you're interested in, you can always opt for making tea instead, hot or iced. If you like cold drinks, you could make a whole pitcher and keep it in your fridge for easy access, whether its chamomile, matcha or plain old Lipton.
2) Make it fun - Making yourself genuinely want to do something is a great way to tackle executive dysfunction. If you're able and open to spending some extra money, buying yourself a fun new water bottle can make you want to use it and carry it with you. Personalization is another way to make a new water bottle even more fun or enhance one you already have. Add dishwasher safe stickers, customized beaded/braided handles and marked timestamps.
A free, more low effort alternative to make drinking water fun is to download an app such as Plant Nanny. Its premise is simple - drink water and in return you water an adorable plant in app. With your help, they'll grow up and you can slowly collect them all. Its a bright, colorful, interactive game that will help you visualize your needs and be rewarded for taking care of them.
3) Eat your water - If the action of drinking is something you struggle with, opt for eating water-rich foods. On top of being a great way to meet your water goals, it comes with more nutrients, vitamins and fiber than regular water while leaving you feeling filled. Below are some fruits and veggies you can snack on that will leave you feeling more hydrated.
Cucumber - 96% water
Celery - 95% water
Spinach - 93% water
Watermelon - 91% water
Cantaloupe - 90% water
And much more!
For something more fun, you can always make some popsicles with coconut water (94% water) and fruit. Pop those in the freezer and have delicious ice pops ready to go in a few hours.
4) Reminders and Encouragement - If you dont have an issue with drinking water but you often forget, a gentle push in the right direction may be all you need. Ask your friends or family for motivation and reminders. You can even challenge them or work towards goals together! Theres nothing better than some friendly competition.
Apps like Waterminder, Waterllama and Habit Tracker can all send reminders to your phone and help you track your progress. If you dont want to download an app, you can always just set some alarms as well. Plant Nanny, as mentioned above, is a fun alternative to this that brings gaming into the picture.
5) Passive Influence - Making some small changes to your routine can make drinking water passively a lot easier. Keep your water bottle on you, carry it from room to room, that way its always easily accessible when you're thirsty.
Switch out your regular snacks for something spicy or salty. Get a bowl of pretzels and a glass of water at the same time and you'll find yourself drinking it with ease. Potato chips, lays, fries or salted nuts are all great options.
If you cant find yourself able to replace your regular beverage with water, challenge yourself to drink a glass of water before you have one. Keep water bottles (plastic or reusable) next to your regular drink in the fridge so you remember to grab both. Another quick way to get some added hydration is adding extra ice to what you usually drink. About 8 cubes is a cup of water!
Always get a glass of water before bed so you have something to sip on, and in case you wake up feeling thirsty. Its a good habit to also get a glass of water right when you wake up. Thats already knocked two glasses out of the way for the day.
Another great idea as a passive, unscheduled reminder, is to drink water every time you use the bathroom. Theres no shame in leaving your water bottle in there as a gentle reminder when you walk in.
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Most importantly, more important than drinking 8 glasses of water a day, is to be gentle with yourself. Its okay if you struggle with drinking even one glass a day. Just trying to take small steps in the right direction takes a lot of strength. Try some of these tips out, even if you don't think they'll work for you. Who knows, one might change your relationship with water before you know it!
Products, Recipes & Articles:
8 Infused Water Recipes
MiO Liquid Water Enhancer
Plant Nanny
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itsgrapefruit · 2 years
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I have started a new blog for various reasons (and I have them, but I won’t go into that now).
The theme is grapefruit. Grapefruit? Do you say? Yes, grapefruit. Being a theme that I doubt all that many people search for, I thought I would do a blaze to let its existence be known.
The blog will be made up of:
*   Digital art and other art I have made based on grapefruit.
*   Grapefruit recipes
*   Using artificial intelligent gizmos to create images of grapefruit, as done by various famous artists.
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(Grapefruit in the Style of Rembrandt)
*   Vintage grapefruit advertising (Sunkist tried to sell more of them in World War II by calling them “commando fruit.”
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(From 1916)
*   Grapefruit lore and facts, for one thing, it turns out there are somewhere between eight and a dozen different tools made just for this one fruit! The others should sue.
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*   Also cartoons and whatever else I can come up with.
You get the idea; there’s going to be a lot of grapefruit found on
It’s Grapefruit: 
To view or join see below.
https://www.tumblr.com/itsgrapefruit
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the-empress-7 · 11 months
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"It’s Hollywood, plenty of suckers around."
Yep. And speaking of suckers, California is the #1 producer of lemons in the US, with Sunkist the biggest citrus corporation/brand. Duchess Lemon should pitch herself to them for an endorsement deal. She could throw in her Olive Oil Lemon Birthday Cake recipe for free :)
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the-firebird69 · 10 months
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Watch "John Williams - Star Wars Theme (Live, 1984) (HQ áudio)" on YouTube
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This is Leonard Bernstein is from the Boston pops and our son has seen him play live. And he is an intense orchestrator of some final music and he worked with only full orchestras and he insisted on it. He was of German descent no he's respected not really but we were helping him and his name says it. But they came out very nice exquisite really and this is when one of his most famous performances this is the actual performance that they used for the movie and motion picture and all of the recordings that were official Star wars came from this particular performance you'll see Luke Skywalker as he exits the death Star and there are a ton of scenes that has the music in it with Yoda in the swamp and it's really John remillard and Tommy F put him inside of a mutant and he's saying you're training our friend here anything you didn't train him at all and he didn't train him that much but he did give him a lot of information and he's saying you didn't train him enough and all the stuff but really really easy is falling and his bases are falling and he's found out in the large caverns above the mega diamonds and there's huge huge battles to get there soon he will break and it won't it won't be long and the structural change the fight will change and rebels will align and foreigners against the empire it is a massive organization and they are in everything that's all we and foreigners are in about quarter of everything and their infiltrating like madness it's a race to get there and we're in the race and we are hiring for all positions that you can imagine if you are a clerk or an office administrator or office worker or delivery person we need your assistance and all the way up to CEO and presidents of companies our son and daughter have so many companies did they have some that are just doing nothing because they don't have anybody running them they're wonderful companies they sold and made tons and tons of money in the past and we want to use it to free our people and we want to employ them and more Sunkist is one of those companies it was gigantic now it's small and they're hiring we need about 3 trillion people of ours and yesterday would be better and of course Coca-Cola company we're taking it over we have three quarters of it we need employees and we're changing the recipes we did not put the phosphoric acid and no we did not. He has a lot of ideas and so do I some of his are very good mine are better I've been around for a long time so please sign on and I have companies too that have nobody managing them Norwegian companies that went out of business and our son and daughter know about them they are gigantic reading companies we rigged practically anything and we need them now we move entire huge structures and gigantic oil rigs tramel Crow is one of them and that was us and he's not surprised in any way he always thought it was us and then Americans started doing it and he was impressed so let's get going if you want to work on projects that you have experiencing or businesses hotels restaurants building houses materials for that all the way down to things that people really need we need toilet paper and we need sewers and septic that operate properly we need sales people and marketing in real estate doctors and lawyers everything that you can imagine under the sun it is an important part of the program and it is a pivotal part without it we won't work our plan won't work we won't be safe so please sign on now.
Thor Freya
The evacuation continues it is massive there are numbers that are catastrophically huge and you would not believe it if you heard it they're all heading to the islands there are serious infighting and it is dangerous we think that they're all going to leave tonight and tomorrow if not they will the next few days Donald Trump has called it he said we're out of here all I want to do is Sue me and put me in jail and put bring me to court and it's about damn time they are still going to try and kidnap our son they're running we are running military maneuvers to prevent that we need any and all assistance that we can get and we are calling our people now all of you who are not signed on to sign on our son needs you and badly and our people do too
This message is approved to go out by us Olympus
Us too Hera Zues
And all of us and we mean it we're your leaders we need you to sign on and desperately at this time we are behind in Manning are we have a huge program running and we cannot turn back and there's no way to stop it if we man it will have it under control
Nuada Arrianna
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gracien-system · 2 years
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WARNING: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.
So y'all wanna know how we made possibly the worst drink ever conceived by man?
ENERGY COCKTAIL FROM HELL - Standard version
Recipe: - 1 bang energy (any flavor) - 2 5 hour energies (any flavor) - ~6 ounces of your preferred soda (we did it with blue Sunkist) - ice Method: - take a large glass, add ice - pour bang energy into glass - add the 5 hour energies - add the soda - pray
ENERGY COCKTAIL FROM HELL - Enhanced version
Recipe: - 1 bang energy (any flavor) - 2 stacker energies (any flavor) - ~6 ounces of your preferred soda (sprite works best, in our experience) - ice
Method: Same as last time, just replace the 5 hour energies with stackers
Now I will say again DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME The first recipe has double the daily recommended amount of caffeine, and is halfway to the OD threshold. The second is even closer. Seriously, don't do this. Don't tempt fate. Just know that this exists, and weep.
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elza32358 · 4 years
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Vintage recipe pamphlet for Sunkist oranges.
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winnie4u · 3 years
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#Repost via @danosseasoning • • • • • • Making Sunkist Buffalo Sauce 🔥🔥🔥 #fy #fire #buffalosauce #buffalo #seasoning #food #chicken #chickenwings #foodie #sunkist #recipe #foodporn #instafood https://www.instagram.com/p/CLP2sf1gYlF/?igshid=1o0vpvp1fhjnx
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iheartvelma · 2 years
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2021 Jelly Belly Rankings
So our holiday ranking of the 40-flavour Jelly Belly jellybean assortment sold in Canada is as follows:
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Tops
Birthday Cake
Buttered Popcorn
Cappuccino
Caramel Popcorn
Maple Syrup
Sunkist Orange
Orange Sherbet
Sunkist Tangerine
Toasted Marshmallow
Peach
Coconut
All of these pretty much taste as advertised (in that uncanny way they do, when they nail it) and aren’t overly sweet or tart. The smokiness of the maple syrup one was surprisingly nice. 
Middle
Strawberry Cheesecake (the cheesecake-iness comes through well, but one of us doesn’t like strawberries). A plain cheesecake or other mix flavour (caramel, chocolate, maybe citrus?) would be better.
Juicy Pear - there’s a definite pear note but it’s far too strongly concentrated and slightly too tart.
Lemon - it’s definitely lemony but I would have preferred a creamier lemon meringue take on it.
Crushed Pineapple - I see where they were going with this and it has that pineapple-y bite but it’s overly sweet and doesn’t last. Maybe a caramelized pineapple flavour that lasts longer might work?
Cotton Candy - definitely has that caramelized-strand flavour component but in the midst of all this sugar it gets lost, paradoxically.
Chocolate Pudding - has that Jello pudding quality that isn’t really chocolatey but more sort of brownie-esque? I wouldn’t go out of my way for it.
French Vanilla - we were split on it as it has some realistic vanilla notes off the top, that end in a sort of weird bathroom cleaner aftertaste.
Very Cherry - weirdly this one is lacking the tartness like you get when biting into a real cherry, so it ends up being sort of generic.
Bottom
Pretty much all the green ones (green apple, lime, kiwi, lemon lime, “mango,” margarita, watermelon) are either way too tart, don’t bring the fruit to mind, or have weird aftertastes. Mango doesn’t taste anything like mango (get yourselves a crate of Alphonsos, already).
Berry Blue, Blueberry, Island Punch, Mixed Berry Smoothie, none of which really communicate a berry quality, they just sort of end up in that ‘mixed discount purple scented marker’ bin.
Licorice. I love actual Dutch licorice but this is the ‘licorice scented marker’ style.
Sizzling Cinnamon - it’s fiery in the same way those fireball valentine hearts are, in the same unpleasant chemical way. I wish they would do cinnamon in a more trad baking context, like cinnamon bun or an apple pie flavour, that doesn’t have that icky ‘green apple’ artificiality. 
Top Banana - extremely artificial. It reminds me of this banana-flavoured medicine I had to take as a kid.
Could Not Test
Weirdly, for a 40-flavour bag, nearly all the red ones were cinnamon. 
I either didn’t get, or couldn’t distinguish between:
Pomegranate
Raspberry
Red Apple
Strawberry Daquiri
Tutti-Frutti
Piña Colada
Final Thoughts
After sampling even a few of them, the sugar just coats your tongue and makes it hard to distinguish flavours, and some flavours just linger unpleasantly. 
The amount of sugar is pretty high. In a 40-gram serving (about 35 beans), it’s 28 grams of sugar, about equal to 7 sugar cubes; 140 calories total. 
They do offer sugar-free / calorie-reduced versions of these which I am eager to try, although, good luck finding them on the JellyBelly.ca website, which has some of the worst navigation ever, and also, its SEO search results lead you to pages which don’t exist. Like, they don’t list the sugar free versions at all but you can get them through most online retailers.
Next on the try list: their Ice Cream Mix, Donut Shoppe Mix, and ‘Recipe Mix’ which puts two flavours into each bean. If I don’t get diabetes first.
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therecipelibrary · 3 years
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Orange Cake and Filling
Sunkist Recipes 1916
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thomascoolatta · 4 years
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here's a headcanon people don't talk about enough: what kind of phone games does everyone have? gordon has facebook games, bitch has Farmville and if you have him added on Facebook he will ask you for help with stuff every fucking day. Forzen plays shitty shooters like Pixel Gun. Tommy also probably has various idle games like Abyssium and Penguin Isle and Virdi. Coomer and Bubby have vicious feuds in Trivia Crack and Words With Friends. Coomer plays Wordscapes. Gman has a fucking blackberry so he just has the shitty games that come with it. Gordon also has like.... Minecraft pocket edition installed for Joshua. Benrey probably has one of those games where you have to scream to move and it's like, a platformer. Benrey still has Flappy Bird downloaded. Benrey plays fucking Fruit Ninja.... dude will download any game he gets an ad for.
Tommy has specialized playlists just for when he's playing Flow Free and Solitaire. he has clean labeled folders and his home and lock screen are pictures of Sunkist.
Benrey's phone is a fucking disaster, it has no case and no screen protector, it's shattered to hell and back and has a billion games downloaded, no folders so whenever he wants to play something you have to sit there and watch him swipe through his games for 5 minutes.
Gordon has like, Farmville and Candy Crush for himself and Minecraft Pocket Edition for Joshua. his gallery is entirely pictures he's taken himself. he's always got his sound up way too high and his brightness on max, he doesn't know how to close apps fully so when you check he's got like a million apps running in the background.
Darnold's camera roll consists of pictures of Sunkist, stuff from his dates with Tommy, and random things as a self reminder for potion recipes. his notes app is full of random things that make sense to no one else but he will happily explain are potion recipes and ideas. he has Little Alchemy and Little Alchemy 2 downloaded.
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Bubby has Trivia Crack and Words With Friends downloaded and him and Coomer have bitter rivalries in it. His gallery is just screenshots of him getting good scores or beating Coomer at games. His notes app is recipes and nothing else.
Coomer has like, Wordscapes, Words with Friends, and Trivia Crack. his notes app ranges from reminders for himself to late night musings about the meaning of life and morality. his gallery is full of pictures of the science team, screenshots of him beating Bubby, and the meals that Bubby makes bc Bubby makes gorgeous meals but things it's stupid to take photos.
Forzen's gallery is like, cats he saw while out walking and incomprehensible memes and YouTube screenshots. he plays Pixel Gun 3d and his notes app is entirely rants about AVGN and Irate Gamer. his lock screen is a Facebook level meme about how touching his phone will get you gutted like a fish or some shit. his home screen is a screenshot of Irate Gamer's YouTube channel.
I think Coomer's lock screen is probably like, some of the plants in his garden and his home screen is a selfie of him and Bubby.
Bubby doesn't know how to change his home or lock screen and is too up his own ass to ask someone for help.
I'm not really sure what Darnold's would be?
Gordon's lockscreen is probably the default while his home screen is a picture of himself, Benrey, and Joshua. if anyone comments on them being a cute family he argues that Benrey isn't part of his family and he's a stranger who refused to be left out. you can clearly see both their wedding rings and Joshua's awful t-shirt that says "son of two epic gamer dads"
Benrey's lockscreen is a shitty one he stole off of Pinterest that has a Disney character or some shit saying something snarky about you touching his phone. his home screen is the same as Gordon's but it's shoddily edited so that Joshua's shirt says "son of epic gamer dad" bc all he did was scribble black over parts of it. Benrey just has every Ancient Game tm. Robot Unicorn Attack, Flappy Bird, Temple Run, Subway Surfers, Fruit Ninja, Burrito Bison, etc.
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bubbyleh · 4 years
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I See La Vie en Rose - Chapter 5
cw for mentions of an attack. no specifics are given, but if that’s bad for you, skip coomer’s whole speech.
Chapter 5: Something About You
Darnold closes his old notebook with a sigh. “I got nothing. What about you?"
"Uh." Tommy looks down at another notebook. "Potion of taste good?"
The two of them are sat on the floor of Darnold's apartment next to a bookshelf. Sunkist lays next to them, snuggled up next to Darnold and every so often offering him a kiss.
Tommy may be a little jealous of the dog.
"No, that won't work," Darnold laments. "I based some of my first experiments off that one." He sighs and falls against Sunkist, who offers a few happy licks and tail thumps. "What else is in there?"
Tommy flips through a few pages. "Potion of- of levitation?"
"We are not inventing fizzy lifting juice."
"Potion of grapes?"
"That's, er… that's actually really dangerous. It turns things into grapes."
Stifling a grimace, Tommy looks forward in the book until something catches his eye. "Potion of… trans your gender?"
"Oh," Darnold's eyes widen, and he shoots up and snatches the notebook from Tommy. "I'm… I didn't realize that was in there." He hugs the book close to his chest.
"No, I- what does it- it do?" Tommy can't help but ask.
Darnold stammers. "I, uh… when I was younger, I had some issues during surgery, so I wanted-" He takes a deep breath. "I wanted a different option."
The implications of what Darnold says hits Tommy like a train. "That's the- the recipe for a transitioning potion?"
It may be that Tommy’s excitement is contagious, but something seems to assure Darnold, to spur him on. “Yeah! It… it doesn’t work immediately, takes a few doses, but…” He smiles to himself, placing the notebook down between himself and Tommy. “It was one of the first potions I made.”
Tommy’s brain is thrown for another loop, because holy fuck. “You made this?”
Darnold laughs nervously and rubs the back of his neck. “It’s not perfect, and I should really revisit it one of these days, but it works!” He sighs. “People don’t really like buying potions from strangers online, you know? So the potion of trans your gender didn’t really take off.”
The way Darnold looks towards the ground, biting his lip to stop himself from saying anything more. His complete and utter dejection breaks Tommy’s heart, and without thinking he grabs Darnold’s hands.
“This is the- the most incredible thing I’ve ever heard of!” Tommy says. He pauses before adding, “I wish I had that potion.”
Darnold blinks. “Really?”
With a smile, Tommy nods. “Really.”
They keep reading through the notebooks together. It takes them half an hour to realize that they’re still holding hands, but neither of them say anything.
☆○☆○☆
These days, it’s rare to find Coomer without Bubby right by his side. With the increasing cultist activity the last hundred or so years, the two of them spend most of their time tracking down any camps together. And when they aren’t doing that, they’re probably somewhere being the bane of someone’s existence.
But Coomer’s the one who finds Tommy, sitting upside down in his chair next to the Viewing Pool and staring at the pavilion ceiling. It’s really more of a throne, but Tommy doesn’t care much for it. It’s just a stone that he sits on sometimes.
“Ah, good afternoon Tommy!” Coomer shouts, stopping in front of him. “You know, you’re a little early for the meeting later.”
Right. The meeting. Tommy’s pretty sure he already knows how that one’s gonna turn out.
Tommy shakes his head. “I’m not- I’m thinking.”
“Oh? What about?”
Tommy looks at Coomer, who’s beaming down at him as if something’s funny. And, weirdly, for the first time in his life, Tommy thinks, ‘Maybe Coomer can help me with this’. He’s so off put by it that he almost doesn’t ask.
Almost.
Tommy swallows his pride. “It’s, uh… You met- met Bubby when you were mortals, right?”
“Oh, what memories!” A twinkle appears in Coomer’s eye, and he sits down next Tommy, leaning against his chair. “Is there a reason you ask?”
“Why did you- how could- even-” Tommy stumbles over himself.
Coomer places a hand on Tommy’s shoulder, even though it’s quite an awkward angle. “Take your time, Tommy.”
Might as well just say it. Tommy sighs. “Mortals die.”
In an instant, Coomer’s cheerful smile fades away. “Ah, I see. This is about your boyfriend Darnold, isn’t it?”
“He’s not my-”
“Hush now, Tommy.” Coomer points at Tommy, but quickly his attention is elsewhere. He’s… scanning the area around them. “Good, nobody is here. Dear Bubby would hate it if he knew I told you this.”
Secrets.
Coomer is about to tell Tommy secrets.
And just like that, Tommy is sliding out of his chair to sit right next to Coomer, because no way is he missing even a second of this.
“The first time I met Bubby, I was immediately infatuated with him.” Coomer smiles to himself. “You should have seen him in his prime, Tommy. The strongest and most promising mage I had ever met, and for some reason I’ll never understand, he would spend time with me! Some random knight, barely any magic to my name…”
His tone shifts, barely. “He would have changed the world, back then, I know it.”
Tommy doesn’t like that.
“There was an… incident, you see,” Coomer chooses his words carefully, but he quickly starts spiraling. “I didn’t hesitate for a moment, I had to save Bubby, but-!” He stops himself. “Sorry, that- you don’t need to hear about that.”
Wouldn’t be the first time Tommy's heard that.
“Bubby was injured. Those fiends,” Coomer mutters the last bit. “They had it out for him after that, in part for revenge. But his magic was never the same. He couldn’t defend himself as well as he used to, he-” Coomer pauses. “I chose to stay by his side, and he chose to let me.”
“Uh, I don’t-” Tommy frowns. “I don’t understand.”
“Tommy,” Coomer grabs his hands, and it’s kinda nice. It reminds him of when he was a child. “I knew that staying with Bubby, I may see him hurt, or worse. But I’d been through quite a bit by then, enough to know that I could never forgive myself if I didn’t at least try.” Coomer looks him dead in the eyes. “So try, Tommy.”
Try.
Something flutters in Tommy’s chest, like butterflies. He nods. “Okay. I’ll- I’ll do that. I’ll try.”
☆○☆○☆
Before the meeting, Tommy sent Sunkist off to watch Joshua while the grown-ups talked. Which, Tommy thinks, was an
excellent
idea, because now neither of them are here to witness the shitshow that is the divide between Gordon and Benrey’s work life and their home life.
“None of you guys tell us anything!” Gordon shouts, waving his arms in exaggeration. Unlike everyone else, he’s standing in front of his seat.
Benrey scoffs. “I tell you loads of things.”
“Yeah? Like what!?”
“Liiiiiiiiike… I love you,” Benrey practically sings.
Gordon’s eye twitches. “One of us is heading down there tomorrow, and you won’t even-” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “What did they do that was so bad that society basically got FUCKED two-thousand years ago!?”
A silence hangs over them, a silence so loud it’s basically ringing in Tommy’s ears. He sits up, because maybe, just maybe, Gordon got these nuts to crack.
“Who’s heading down?” Bubby questions, clearly steering the topic away.
Tommy slumps back down in his chair. Of course.
Coomer claps his hands together. “Wonderful question Bubby! I do believe it’s either Gordon or Tommy’s turn.”
“That- you guys,” Gordon tries, but he’s clearly lost his steam. He falls back into his chair.
“I, believe it’s. Tommy’s turn,” Gman says.
Tommy sighs. “I, uh, can’t. I have a- a lunch thing tomorrow.”
“Lunch thing,” Gordon mutters under his breath. Seeing nobody volunteering, though… “Fine. I’ll cover for you. But you’re taking the next one.”
Tommy grins. “Thanks.”
The silence is back. Tommy can feel that everyone’s eyes are on him and Gordon, and it would be uncomfortable if it wasn’t how most meetings ended these days.
“Actually, you know what Tommy?” Gordon slaps his thighs and stands. “I think it’s time to put Joshua to bed. Do you think you could help me convince Sunkist to give him up?”
Tommy can’t hide his disappointment. Why does he let himself get his hopes up everytime that they’ll say something? He should be used to this by now, but it must just be in his nature to desire information.
“Yeah,” Tommy rises from his own seat.
The two of them walk out together. They try to ignore the fact that, once they’re far enough away, they can hear the others start talking again, even if they can’t make out what they’re saying.
“It sucks, man,” Gordon sighs. “I mean, they’ve been doing this ever since I ascended. Were they ever frank with you?”
Tommy shakes his head. “Not- not really. This has been my whole life.”
Gordon laughs, but not in a way that sounds at all happy. “It’s funny. When I first started dating Benrey, I thought, man, finally these guys are gonna tell me stuff! So I’m not just running around blind down there.”
“How’d that- that turn out for you?”
“Benrey and I have been together for thirty years,” Gordon says. “What’s tonight tell you?”
Hm.
Tommy watches his feet as he walks.
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silenceinthenull · 4 years
Text
Witchery (part 2)
Gordon was browsing a "witchcraft" forum online when he got the invite. He opened the chat Window with some hesitance, but he was not disappointed when he did.
It was a small group, just six other accounts, and only one was on. The one who invited him. The "Potions-Master" apparently.
Potions-Master: welcome! I was informed you were practicing summoning spells and managed to summon both a helper and a guardian.
Theoretically-A-Badass: how did you know that?
Potions-Master: my friend made the helper you summoned! He was really confused when their dog disappeared.
Theoretically-A-Badass: Oh my gosh! I am so sorry! I didn't mean to kidnap someone's dog!
Potions-Master: Oh it's okay. When Sunkist came back she apparently praised you to high heaven! He was glad she was summoned by someone so nice.
Theoretically-A-Badass: well that's good at least.
Gordon stared at the screen, shocked. He kidnapped someone's dog and was getting praised for it... He really didn't know how to react...
It was awkward at first, but after some very relaxing conversations about kites and chemistry Gordon finally managed to relax. He learned Potions-Master was actually named darnold, and that he was a chemist, soda jerk, mixologist and actual potions master all in one. Gordon was impressed.
Darnold happily gave him potion recipes, substitution tips and ingredient name translations for all kinds of things. He even walked Gordon through making a healing potion, and a potion of retrieval. The former Gordon tested on himself the next time he caught a cold and worked like a charm, the latter he kept on a shelf for if he ever needed it.
After a few weeks Gordon had become truly comfortable with witchcraft once more and was delighted to use it in his life when he could. He would just stay away from summoning stuff for a while.
After about a month of talking online Gordon felt comfortable meeting darnold in person. They decided to meet at a small bakery near Gordon's workplace.
It was a quiet place with all kinds of different treats so Gordon was happy to snack and read while he waited for darnold to show up. Going over the potions in his grimoire again, wondering if darnold knew them all or if he was still learning too.
Darnold stood frozen in the door when he saw Gordon, or more, what he was holding. It took a few moments before Gordon noticed. When he did he closed the book carefully and put it back in his bag.
"you must be darnold! It's a pleasure to finally meet you."
"..."
Gordon is concerned by the silence and follows his gaze back to the bag.
"did you want to read that?"
Darnold jumped at the thought alone and rushed over.
"we need to go!"
Darnold rushed Gordon to grab his bag and practically dragged him out, quickly guiding him to a nearby Park.
"where did you get the Morgan's spellbook!?"
"the what?"
"the Morgan's spellbook! How do you not know what you have!?"
"it randomly came in the mail! I didn't know it was special!"
"special!? Special!? That book is one of a kind and holds the purest and most powerful spells in the world!"
"how was I supposed to know!? I didn't know anything about magic until I got it and it doesn't say who wrote it anywhere!"
Darnold starts hyperventilating and quickly pulls a flask from his pocket. He takes a swig and immediately calms a bit. Gordon catches the scent of something herbal.
"you have the single most coveted and sought after piece of magical literature in the entire world... "
Gordon pales a bit at that.
"it's a good thing you summoned a guardian. Without them you would probably be dead ten times over from people trying to take it from you."
"... How is a random security guard protecting me? I haven't even seen him since I summoned him in the first place!"
"you summoned benrey!?"
"... His name is benrey?"
"yes! He is one of the single most powerful entities a person can summon! And you summoned him your first time!?"
"... Yes?"
Darnold is stunned he looks at Gordon's bag again.
"it's really there... It's real..."
"... Do you want to read it?"
Darnold suddenly looks like the happiest man in the world.
"of course! But not here. Think we could go to your house?"
"I guess..."
And that's how darnold ended up sitting on Gordon's couch as Gordon made them drinks that would inevitably be harshly judged by the potions master...
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