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fridaypls · 25 days

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Scars & Secrets; diving into this Astarion & Raphael interaction

A deep dive into bravery and resilience in the face of humiliation and manipulation.

Hopping right in with the first interaction of this scene; Astarion stopping Raphael from leaving to open a negotiation of his own.

Astarion: “Wait! Before you go, I have a proposal of my own.”

And the snide response from Raphael: ”A proposal? If you’re hoping to taste my blood, little sampling, think again. It burns hotter than Wyvern Whisky.”

First, Astarion's side:

I love the split-second emotions Larian feeds us in this game; this scene is no exception. Look at his face on those first couple frames as he says "Wait!"

It takes courage. For two hundred years under Cazador's compulsion, he had little choice other than to obey... to be passive. He's not being passive now; he's taking his courage in both hands and being proactive.

As we see Astarion start to wrestle with the meaning behind his scars in game, he's started his arc towards finding autonomy and his own identity. He's taking steps towards reclaiming his story - but he can't see the scars or read them. He needs help.

And he knows better than to ask Raphael outright for help. That is a dangerous proposition; he knows Raphael is every bit as dangerous as he is cunning—but he can be useful, if the game is played right. Our rogue is clever; he's meeting the cambion on his own playing field; bargaining.

"I have a proposal of my own.”

Look at the disdain and disgust on his face in the second two frames above as he speaks the words. He doesn't want to make a deal with the devil—but he recognizes that he has little choice.

Now look at how Raphael was leaning forward to listening while Astarion spoke, with the same seriousness an arrogant adult listens to a child. There are a few incredible layers in his response.

”A proposal? If you’re hoping to taste my blood, little sampling, think again. It burns hotter than Wyvern Whisky.”

Raphael’s response immediately asserts dominance. By deliberately and mockingly dismissing Astarion’s proposal as a potential ploy to taste his blood, Raphael positions himself as the one in control. He sets the power dynamic for the rest of the conversation with the ease of much, much practice.

With "little vampling" and "hotter than Wyvern Whisky" he simultaneously takes Astarion down two pegs ('you can't handle it, child') and himself up one, remind Astarion and the listening Tav of his own nature. He mocks and belittles Astarion while lightly lauding himself, all in a sentence.

And Astarion, understandably, does not enjoy that.

"This is serious business, devil!"

There is desperation and vulnerability for him in this entire conversation and they both know it. Despite that, he fires back with assertiveness, refusing to be dismissed or spoke down to.

"Little vampling" is met with "devil!" - a seemingly simple response that is a truly a beautiful parry. If Raphael's "hotter than Wyvern Whisky" jab about his blood being too hot for Astarion to handle was a reminder of his latent power, this is Astarion acknowledging that power head on - and refusing to back down.

He doesn't give Raphael a chance to bandy back, but launches into opening steps of the dance; what he needs out of this negotiation.

”My old- well, a long time ago, someone carved some runes into my back. I’d rather like to know what they say.”

His quest to translate the runes is a symbolic step of his broader journey to reclaim his life from Cazador; he stays true to that now by refusing to mention his abuser.

Raphael, of course, is eager in his own not-entirely-subtle to assure him that he already knows all about Cazador.

”It’s something of great importance to your master. But is it a love letter, a warning, or a deep of ownership? I can give you all the gory details.”

Raphael lives to tease and torment; he has absolutely no interest in negotiating cleanly here; knowledge is power and he has it all.

By dangling that lure, Raphael positions himself as the gatekeeper of truths Astarion desperately seeks, deliberately reinforcing the power imbalance between them.

”And I will - once the beast that lurks below is vanquished, and sent back to the Hells.”

The price for the knowledge Astarion seeks; the death of the Orthon.

Also, how many of you guys caught this;

One of many fourth-wall breaks in which Raphael glances at us. I like the ?theory? that original Raphael was supposed to have the hots for the player themselves, rather than their Tav. We're left with a handful of beautiful, deliberate glances like this one.

Hurt and powerless hate on Astarion's face. He's got no recourse other than to agree and it can't be a great feeling. Then, it gets worse...

Tav: "What are you talking about, Astarion? What scars?"

And Raphael is instantly delighted.

"You haven’t told them? And you’ve kept your clothes on this whole time? How unlike you… Why not let them see? Don’t be shy.”

Raphael's interactions with Astarion are not mere casual cruelty; they are calculated moves designed to exploit Astarion's vulnerabilities.

"You haven’t told them?" He's already demonstrated he knows about Cazador. With the new knowledge that Tav doesn't know about Astarion's past, he makes a two-fold attack.

"You’ve kept your clothes on this whole time? How unlike you..." He mocks Astarion's loss of autonomy and weaponizes his vulnerability with a comment designed to come across as slut shaming to Tav...

...but a reminder of his past humiliations to Astarion, one that deliberately insinuates that his struggle to maintain his privacy and dignity are futile, or out of character. It's a cruel and careful jab.

For Astarion, every moment he is allowed to decide for himself, to keep his clothes on or take them off, is a step away from his past and a step towards autonomy and recovery. Raphael deliberately belittles that, as he has belittled him this entire conversation.

"Why not let them see? Don’t be shy."

Raphael's flippant comment entirely dismisses the deep trauma carved into Astarion along with his scars—trauma that is both physical and emotional. The scars are physical markings that represent a bloody, dark history of abuse, subjugation, and exploitation... and Raphael knows that.

"Let them see?" implies a choice, but Astarion is given none. It's a specifically calculated reminder of his past, where his body was not his own. By exposing Astarion’s scars to his companions, Raphael not only forces him into a moment of vulnerability, but also subjects him to deliberate public humiliation. "Don’t be shy" is a taunt, a laughing mockery of the situation Raphael has orchestrated.

The movement itself is gentle, almost. Not a snap of fingers or casting of a spell... just an airy wafting of a hand. Astarion realizes what's happening quickly and recoils - he takes a step back and half turns as though he's considering running, then stops himself.

The abject sadness as he turns back, just the miserable 'why?' in his eyes as he turns back to confront his tormentor. He steps exactly back into where he was standing before - doesn't cover himself or cower, but stands tall and faces the humiliation Raphael is forcing on him with his head high and shoulders squared.

Watch his face change. He already knew Raphael was a devil and an untrustworthy bastard, but one he'd have to deal with to unlock the meaning behind his scars.

Now, he knows exactly what manner of person he's dealing with.

”Gods damn it.”

The slow glance over his shoulder at you/the camera is a stab in the heart. Tav's standing to the side of him, so this additional piece of artistry is just cinematic loveliness, a truly spectacular reveal.

But also symbolic. He turns from glaring at his tormentor to check Tav's reaction. The slow glance reads to me as a moment of profound vulnerability. After being forcibly exposed, both physically and emotionally, he's seeking connection—an understanding, or perhaps even solace in Tav's reaction.

Raphael doesn't give him even a moment.

”Don’t pout, spawn. Just destroy the beast and I’ll happily reveal your secrets instead of your skin.”

Every word is laced with manipulative intent; he belittles and exerts control, dangling the price in front of his face again. The directive "Don't pout" puts down Astarion's legitimate grievances of the moment, reducing his concerns and traumas to nothing more than childish sulking.

With "instead of your skin", Raphael (who has appeared several times at this point) reminds him that this sort of humiliation is on the table at any time. It serves as a pointed reminder of the control he holds over Astarion, as well as the potential for further humiliation in the future, a calculated move designed in a state of unease and subjugation.

Astarion, for his part, his exasperated and done.

”Yes, fine, we’ll kill this damn creature of yours.”

It’s a concession, but one that's loaded with frustration and a pragmatic recognition of the immediate need to comply with Raphael's demands to achieve his own ends.

Despite being spoken down to, belittled, intentionally reminded of his traumas, stripped naked, humilated and taunted, he faces his tormentor with head high still and shoulders squared.

He's used to a master that reveled in his humiliation and hurt; he's giving Raphael nothing.

Not content with this, Raphael moves to bring the interaction to a close, with a few last jabs.

”Then we have an understanding. I look forward to our next meeting. Scars often tell such wonderful stories - I think yours might be truly exquisite.”

Raphael sees Astarion’s scars not merely as physical remnants of past trauma but as narratives ripe for exploitation. By calling them “truly exquisite”, he intentionally objectifies Astarion's suffering, posing it as something to be utilized rather than empathized with.

His macabre fascination is not just creepy in its voyeuristic appreciation of another's trauma, but... deeply unsettling, intentionally so.

And then he's gone, until the next confrontation. But Astarion's confrontation with his own past isn't over.

Astarion turns to Tav with "Well. Now you know.”

Except... he doesn't actually turn to Tav. Can't seem to bring himself to turn all the way—he faced Raphael head on, but facing Tav? Whom he trusts and cares about? Look at how hard it is for him to drag his eyes to your/Tav's face—the way he checks your reaction before turning his face all the way towards you.

Even then, he starts turn away once more, to angle his nakedness away, but his eyes stay locked on your face. There's openness there; vulnerability heavily laden with resignation. His his carefully guarded secrets are now as exposed as he is.

Tav: "Gods… the carving must have been excruciating.”

The response is immediate and bluntly empathetic; it recognizes the severity of Astarion’s pain without needing a detailed explanation. Raphael belittled his trauma and reveled in his scars—Tav sees his suffering for what it is. It's a beautiful move to intentionally normalize emotional vulnerability between them.

"Cazador worked on it from dusk until dawn, all with an ancient blade he called his ‘needle’. Cutting and tearing, starting over it I screamed or winced too much."

Midway through, the genuine hurt we see in his face is replaced with a forced smile. A tiny, non-verbal declaration of resilience... but perhaps also a long-ingrained habit of trying to inject normalcy into any moment too weighty. In two hundred years under Cazador's thumb, he didn't pull a thousand marks by letting conversations get heavy.

But the smile can't hold. It simply hurts too much. It slips away and vulnerable hurt takes its place once more instead.

"An ancient blade he called his 'needle'" is such specific language... from the Astarion Origin play-through, we know he relives the carving in his memories, to the point of feeling the pain as though it's being carved again.

"Cutting and tearing, starting over it I screamed or winced too much" is something he remembers in excruciating, perfect detail.

”It was a rough night... But what’s done is done, so how about we stop discussing it and just kill this beast?”

The moment for emotional vulnerability is coming to a close for him; He's still standing there naked, the scars he has so carefully hidden on display and so much of his vigilantly guarded trauma poured out at your feet. He takes the moment to reclaim his agency, if only a little bit, by signaling that the conversation is over. It's time to go get the job done, instead.

The transition beautifully underscores a key aspect of his character and, I suspect, yours: the capacity to compartmentalize suffering in order to deal with the immediate demands of reality.

He's acknowledging the past, but not allowing it to wholly consume or immobilize him. And we're proud of him for that.

#and I'm proud of you ♡#scars tell the tales we dare not speak #beneath the bravado a vulnerable heart beats #the unseen scars carry the deepest stories #he silent strength of enduring spirits #the quiet courage of bearing one's past #scars as silent witnesses #bg3 astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion #baldurs gate astarion #gif analysis #bg3 gif analysis #thanks larian #raphael the cambion #raphael bg3 #raphael

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myf00djournal · 18 days

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A chronological post run post.

Iiiiiii had a hard hard time man. In hindsight, I always knew our race was at 4pm so perhaps doing long runs at 6am was never going to help but I was so optimistic for cool weather in April. Nope 31 degrees. My worst fear. I was on pace and on the game plan up until around 8km which is when the course went from some shade to full sun. Told my running partner to push on without me which I had to say 5 times before he did listen 😛 I hate holding people back. The rest was an absolute slog. I thought about a DNF. I found a second wind around 13km and settled back into consistent trotting. Got through. They told us at the start the course was 20.5 which was a shame as it was advertised as a HM and then I saw a girl who was about a km ahead of me usually (because everyone we snaked past each other we did cute girl high fives) going in an opposite direction and I said don’t we turn left again? And she said nope the course was actually 18km. What the heck. Look my performance was not my best but I would’ve dragged myself another bit. Crossed the line and kept going with some other die hards who were also trying to make up km but I got to 19.8 and called it. The water station people were like oh we have cleared the course how much longer will you be and I was like you know what I’m done.

I’m annoyed because the organizers have a whole calendar of events and yet they were so shambolic. They delayed the start time, changed the course and then cut off a considerable distance for everyone. Also WHO KNOWS why the run was at 4/4:30pm in western Sydney but that’ll do me.

The 10km started an hour after us and then 5km after that so there was people always out on course but for a big event there was seriously maybe 60 people in each. So many DNS because we are legit flooded at the moment so I guess people couldn’t make it. A few people DNF. I saw the 5km fun run and wish I went in that because the first woman was 28:10 🥹 but I know it’s not about that.

My average km was around 7:30 which isn’t too bad considering I did a lot of walk/jog intervals for about 6km all up but Runna had me working at 6:25-6:30 as my goal which I was on but it really did fall away. My running partner did a great job and held around 6:40 which I am so happy for him.

Maybe next time I should do more than an 8 week training block. What am I saying with next time 🤦🏽‍♀️ haha never let me again please!!!! I just want to be a parkrun girly and maybe 10km???

Best of all Josh surprised me at the start line to see me off ❤️❤️❤️

The end. Also yes enjoy my post run glow - day ones will recognize the mirror. @taoistimmortal thank you for telling me to increase my cals by 500 cos yeah it’s going noice 👌🏻

#gymlife #training #strength and conditioning #nutrition #personal #Runna #running #endurance

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