#Star Wars: The Expanded Universe
Anakin: Trust me, I know what I’m doing.
Plo: Not even the Force knows what you’re doing, Skywalker.
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I dont choose when I post my wips, the frog in my brain does
Master Shaak Ti was a very kind, understanding, and patient Master. She always had been when training him, and he was glad that she hadn’t changed at all since he had been her Padawan.
She hadn’t changed that much since his first mission with her as a Knight, and she wasn’t different in how she treated him now. It was easy for her to pick up on his weariness.
The mission had been long and grueling, nothing that he and Master Shaak Ti couldn’t handle on their own, but still, rescuing a duo of baby Night Brothers— his brothers— from Dathomir had been… nerve wracking. It had taken all of Shaak Ti’s patience and wit, and everything that Maul had begrudgingly learned from his Clanmates, to come to an agreement with the Nightmother.
The Village that Maul’s brothers had come from would be removed from any Nightsister activity, the head of the Village given a com directly to the temple in the case that the Nightsisters didn’t hold up their end of the deal, and Maul would take his two brothers to Coruscant. In return, the Jedi would find a way to break Ventress from Dooku’s hold— something that Maul very much looked forwards to in the upcoming battles between them.
Still, he sighed as he trudged wearily through the temple, holding one brother in each arm— they were so small still, just babies, really— and heading back towards his shared quarters. By all means, a Knight should have had their own Quarters, unlike when they were a Padawan living with their Master or when they were initiates living with their dorm-mates and clan-mates.
But Maul was an interesting case.
Zabrak were solitary beings, yet Maul prefered to know that there was a second member of his created clan nearby when possible.
That reminded him, though, he’d have to introduce the rest of his self-made clan to the two. Savage and Feral, he had been told. His brothers— His.
If anything, the only protest would be from the Council because he wasn’t supposed to keep children out of the Crèche.
Either way, he decided as the doors to his quarters opened, he’d keep the two as close as he could. The whole Attachment rule was stupid anyways, obviously the Council didn’t see how his Clan was still “light” and firmly connected to one another.
Maul made a face as he stepped in, seeing his Clan-Siblings sprawled across the floor.
“What the hell happened with you all?” he asked as Bultar rolled to her feet, pulling Lissarkh and Bant up with her. Agen sat up as well, brushing his hair back.
“The usual,” Bant sighed as Sha simply shifted from where she was sitting on the Sofa.
Maul nodded to her before he fixed his Clan-Brother with a pointed look. “I thought you were in Huttspace, Kolar.”
The other Zabrak snorted, arms crossing. “For that long? Who am I, Vos? I get my work done quickly and easily.”
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Shaak: Accidentally went and got killed yesterday but the gods won’t let me die so I’m back.
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(In the Tower of first knowledge, during the events of Darkness)
Mace Windu: How long has this been activated, Astaal Vilbum?
Astaal Vilbum: What? Hoom!
Mace Windu: The Holocron on Volfe Karkko.
Astaal Vilbum: I can’t… Hoom! …understand… Hoom! …your accent.
(Windu grows visibly impatient)
Mace Windu: The holocron… Hoom! …about Volfe… Hoom! …Karkko. Hoom!
Astaal Vilbum: Oh. Hoom! Why didn’t you say so? Hoom! Some weeks, Master Windu.
Submitted by: @professor-audial
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Maul, in the dark: I am Fear. I am strength and rage, I am what everyone fears in the nih—
Eeth, turning the lights on: Alright, off the table
Maul: YOU'RE NOT MY DAD—!!
Eeth, spraying him with a squirt bottle: Get off, get!!
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Shaak: So… is he sleeping or dead?
Kit: Hopefully dead. I hated that guy.
Plo: Yeah, I hated him too.
Krell: First of all, fuck you guys.
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Hi im here to ruin your evening:
Had Order 66 not been enacted, had the war ended with Republic victory, had everything gone right, Plo Koon would’ve taken on Gungi as a padawan. Gungi, who was a Wookiee like his own Master had been.
He would have taught him the same things that his Master had taught him about being a Jedi, and about Wookiee culture, he would have taken him to Kashyyyk and celebrated Life Day with him, with Sha, and with Plo’s Uncle.
Gungi would’ve been accepted into the Wolffepack by the boys, and would’ve learned the ins and outs of the rest of the Jedi world though Bultar, Lissarkh, and Ahsoka. He would’ve been able to bypass the Trandoshan vs Wookiee stigma.
But that never happened, because Order 66 did hit, and Gungi was one of the children killed in the temple, Plo and Lissarkh werw killed by their own men, Bultar was killed by another Jedi, Sha was killed by Vader, Ahsoka went into hiding, and the unnamed Uncle’s fate is unknown.
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Bane: After lots of soul-searching I have decided I would like to have more money.
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Shaak: I am a moderate, peaceful, and serene Jedi.
Colt: Sir, you threw a chair at Nala Se three minutes ago.
Shaak: Yes. It was a moderate, peaceful, and serene compromise from the table I was originally planning to throw at that bastard.
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Boost: Wolffe has these insanely strong opinions on everything. Go on, ask him a thing no one should have an opinion on.
Comet: What’s, uh, the worst multiple of 4?
Wolffe: 12, obviously.
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Plo, quietly: [incomprehensible]
Plo, even quieter: [incomprehensible]
Opoo: You have to speak louder, my old friend.
Plo, yelling: FUCK
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Obi-Wan: You’ll never “just get over it”.
Obi-Wan: It’ll always be there a little bit, tucked away somewhere. You’ll continue to live your life and not notice it much.
Obi-Wan: But maybe every so often it’ll hurt again and that’s alright. Our traumas don’t magically go away when we heal. But they also stop taking up so much space.
Obi-Wan: You're so strong, and I love you.
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Dooku: I want to change the Galaxy.
Cin: For the better?
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Agen: I have a solution.
Eeth: Thank goodness.
Agen: It involves fire.
Mace: Absolutely not.
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THE HEART OF THE JEDI Expanded Universe Book Has Been Removed From Amazon
THE HEART OF THE JEDI Expanded Universe book was removed from Amazon on May 9, 2021.
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there’s things in legends i really like, and there’s things in the disney continuity i really like
and, obviously, there’s things in both i hate with a burning passion (and worse, things i’m totally apathetic toward)
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Plo: So what’s the tea?
Mace: Well apparently Agen got lost again, Depa is chasing Kit because he called her a diva, and Obi-Wan is crying to the rhythm of an opera song again.
Plo: I meant what flavor is your tea but I think you need some alcohol, my friend.
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Aayla: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste. NONE.
Voolvif: I got spring water.
Voolvif: With EXTRA minerals. It's like licking a stalagmite.
Aayla: DON'T COME HOME.
Voolvif: Mmmmmmm, cave water.
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Kit: Why are you making pancakes?
Plo: They’re for Grogu.
Kit: Why are you making pancakes for the kiddo?
Plo: He doesn't know how.
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Thorn: If you’re murdered, at least someone thought you were important enough to need to not exist anymore.
Bail: That’s… not as comforting as you think it is.
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