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manyblinkinglights · 3 years

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HOW TO USE THE MBL ANYTAUR BASE - PART ONE

These instructions will be structured around a main narrative--someone who has everything they need for best results, and for whom everything goes right--with digressions for what to do when things go wrong at each step.

Pictured: gryphoranguAnytaur.

WHAT YOU NEED (WANT):

- A fully weight-painted taur model .fbx. *If you have a quad instead, see “I HAVE A QUAD INSTEAD” **If you’re modeling from scratch, see “I’M MODELING FROM SCRATCH” - CATS Blender plugin, just in case. (We’ll be using its assign rest pose function, if we need to.) - A Unity 2019.whatever.it.is project, with the latest VRChat Avatars 3.0 SDK. - Pumkin’s Avatar Tools package (THIS IS SO IMPORTANT). ***If this tool is unavailable, see “I DON’T HAVE PUMKIN’S AVATAR TOOLS, OR IT ISN’T WORKING FOR ME NO MATTER WHAT I DO”

Open MakeYoursInHere.blend. Find the Humanoid hips on the base Anytaur, but DON’T touch them--just find them. Turn on Isometric view and import your taur .fbx; scale and move your model until its Humanoid hips (you know, the bone below its spine, in the Humanoid torso up front), or Humanoid hip-ish-area, matches the Anytaur’s, and the legs are long enough to put your feet ALMOST on the floor (same as the Anytaur is fine). You don’t want to leave so much clearance it’s obvious you’re hovering, but you do want your taur’s (mesh) feet to be raised very slightly above the floor. This makes it easier to avoid clipping. *If you CAN’T STAND having your feet clip into the floor at all, you may wish to pursue using Final IK to run your taur limbs instead, but that’s the opposite hookup method from this tutorial!

When you’re positioned and sized, select your taur and put its wings into a flat T-pose, like the Anytaur’s, and its arms into an A-pose, at the same angles as the Anytaur’s. Apply this pose as your rest pose with CATS, or look up how to do it without CATS if you don’t have CATS. Then select the Anytaur, and, WORKING ISOMETRICALLY AND SYMMETRICALLY (symmetry has been preserved within the Humanoid armature, so you can work normally), you may move the spine, chest, neck, and head around to match the scales and angles of your taur’s existing armature. Again, make sure nothing you do alters the hips--OR interrupts the hierarchy!

If you have Dynamic Bone rigging on the Humanoid torso chain (like for fur or accessories), you may separate the bones out from your taur’s armature at this stage and join and parent them to the Anytaur’s. Same with anything wiggly you have on the arms, next, too.

Once the Anytaur’s Humanoid torso chain matches yours, select the either the left or right WHOLE ENTIRE Anytaur arm, including shoulder. View it isometrically, and shift it in xyz and scale it until it matches your taur’s arm. DO NOT rotate ANYTHING in ANY WAY! *If you have changed the angles in the Humanoid arms or legs, see “I CHANGED IMPORTANT BONE ANGLES IN BLENDER. :(”

You may rotate and reposition the fingerbones freely, though!

Now that both taur armature Humanoid upper bodies match, go into Pose Mode on the Anytaur and find RRA.spacer, off the Humanoid hips. Grab it and rotate it; the Anytaur’s taurbody’s back should respond dramatically. You’ll be toning this behavior down later in Unity, but I’ve recreated it here in Blender to help with weight painting. Try to understand what you’re looking at in the Anytaur’s hind torso chain. Hind.spine is one huge bone to make an optional Dynamic Bones-based-sit work correctly; hind.chest ends wherever is necessary for the “hinge” of that sit. We WILL NOT be going over how to implement sit in this tutorial, but since you’re looking, you might as well know why it’s like that. The .tinybones are because Dynamic Bones needs at least two transforms in a row to operate, and when I had ONLY two, I got stupid bugs preventing the butt collider from showing up in hind.hind.tinybone, so with this setup, Dynamic Bones gets THREE transforms, and the collider on hind.hind.tinybone definitely shows up. Unless you specifically commed your artist for it or they worked with this base in mind, you won’t have a BEND bone, and will need to paint your own, but you should already have hind.hips to start with! There are bone constraints in the hind thighs for weight painting purposes, again--you’re advised to leave them until you’re satisfied with the BEND/hind.hips torso chain action you get on your own taur.

NOW:

Go into Object mode, select the Anytaur’s mesh, and delete it. *If your taur IS NOT weight painted, see “I’M MODELING FROM SCRATCH.” Then select your taur’s mesh and duplicate it. Then, shift-select the Anytaur armature, and parent the duplicate to it with empty groups.

You could go to your duplicate’s vertex groups and start finding and renaming them to match the Anytaur’s armature as best you can at this point, but first, I recommend you fit the Anytaur armature to your taur!

Using your original as a reference, BUT ALSO taking at least a glance at a real animal’s skeletal reference (especially for shoulder length and angle), work isometrically from the sides and front--symmetry has been preserved in all the taurbody legs, lucky you! Rotate the Anytaur’s taurbody bones pair by pair (of bones, left-right) until they’re all angled right to fit your mesh. You may wish to grab and hide anything that’s getting in your way, if you haven’t already, like the zillions of wing and utility bones, and the Humanoid legs (shortcut in edit mode is “h” with a bone selected.) When you’re finished from the side, select the taurbody foreleg chains, switch to viewing isometrically from the front, and shift them in X until they mostly match the width-apart of your forelegs. For the forelegs, I’d prioritize matching the feet to the feet over matching the width of your taurbody shoulders. DO NOT ROTATE ANYTHING--they must stay straight-up-and-down from the front! Do the same for the hindleg chains, though unless you intend to individually articulate your hind beans, you may wish to split the difference between matching the feet versus matching the width of the hind hips above, or just match the hips width and ignore the hind feet, like I did on the Anytaur--If you noticed before deleting it, the hindpaws are quite far outside the hind foot armature--that’s about the limit I’d ever recommend you deviate, though. I just started to get some weird behavior on hindpaw twist at that distance (but I did get to enjoy having my hindlegs always look a little extra jaunty because of how they were modelled “at rest” around the bones here). If you’re lucky, your artist just has those hindlegs straight up and down lol so you won’t have to make any decisions.

You may add/graft on extra bones out of your old armature if you’ve got them (floof bones, etc), SO LONG AS YOU DON’T DELETE, REPARENT, OR RENAME ANYTHING ALREADY THERE, OR OTHERWISE BREAK THE ANYTAUR HIERARCHY.

The twist bones don’t like being moved, sometimes, so make sure to check on them specifically and fix them if they’ve gotten skewed by grabbing just their left/right heads or tails at a time and shifting them in x.

Don’t forget to fit your toes! They don’t have to be straight up and down, just have them fit your toes. You don’t have to use EVERY beanbone either, there’s a final (FINAL--do NOT do it until you’re SO SURE you’re finished) optimization pass in Unity where we’ll delete any bones that didn’t get used. You could probably just graft your old toebones on, here (but DON’T do that with anything but the toes! We’ll need the leg chain transforms to all be named in PRECISELY this way or nothing will work AT ALL later. Working this way around, renaming your vertex groups to the Anytaur armature, allows you to check your work here in Blender AND not ruin anything silently before we move to Unity).

The Anytaur armature should now be fit to your taur! Well, except for wings--SYMMETRY IS BROKEN IN THE WINGS, I’M SO SORRY, so if you need them, handle them by scaling left/right pairs of the bones’ heads and tails in and out in X from the isometric front and top views, and moving left-right pairs freely together with g + zy shortcuts. If you have dragon wings with extra wing fingers, graft yours from your old armature onto the Anytaur wingfingers. Just shrink the Anytaur wingfingers way down first; they’ll act as control bones. If you have feathery wings, look at the weight painting “zones” of influence that already exist in them. You’ll likely want to rename and/or merge your weight paint vertex groups to use only the (wing upper arm, forearm, and hand, obviously, but also the) first, the fifth, and the tenth feathers, OR--if you have a bunch of existing dynamic rigging, graft your wing surface rigging bones ONTO (parent them to) the first, fifth, or tenth feathers as appropriate. Only use the individual feather rigging if you HAVE (or are making!) individual feathers, it will look weird if your wings are a solid surface (each of the bones is going to roll quite a bit). Basically, the fifth and tenth feathers are rigged to “smooth out” the wing-arm action... hopefully the effect looks okay. If it winds up looking weird later you can reparent your (YOUR) bones directly to the appropriate Anytaur wing-arm bones instead.

Oh, and tails. Do whatever with the tail. The Anytaur tail comes with six bones and limited but ready-to-go rotation constraint rigging, but it isn’t Dynamic Bones compatible, so you’ll probably just want to keep the rigging in the tailbase bone in Unity later, because it’s important for finishing the harmonious “feel” of the movement of your hind hips, and capturing all of your Humanoid hip motions. You can make it really small and not weight paint it if you want, though, so it’s at the base of your tail as a control bone. Do match the next five Anytaur tail bones to the rest of your tail, then feel free to add (or graft on) however many more you need. If you graft your entire old tail on instead of the existing one, you’ll NEED to rename it to match/replace the Anytaur tail in the hierarchy EXACTLY, taking into account whether you kept the first tailbone as a tiny control bone or not! Pumkin’s Avatar Tools, at least as I’ve used it, will FAIL on EVERYTHING DOWNSTREAM OF THE FIRST BREAK... so watch out.

Okay... NOW the Anytaur armature has been fitted.

Use Pose Mode to pose your original model and then your Anytaur duplicate, into a pose suitable for weight painting (or for referencing, in your original). Now, begin the process of renaming/recovering your original vertex groups...

Using your original as a reference as necessary, rename each corresponding old-naming vertex group in Your New Anytaur(tm) to match the naming of the new taurbody bones. Since some preserve symmetry and some do not, especially in the wings, just copy-paste each of the bone names out of the Anytaur hierarchy and into your old vertex groups’ names. Every time you find a match, the fixed mesh should leap up and stick to the right bone!

But maybe you have multiple vertex groups that all need to be collapsed onto one Anytaur bone, because the Anytaur rig is so different. In that case, use the VERTEX WEIGHT MIX MODIFIER. Important: this modifier HAS to be first in the list of modifiers, or it won’t work! It’s to the left in the modifiers list, under the wrench icon for “modifiers”. The first slot is the vertex group you’re adding more influences into (it should be an Anytaur one, like hind.spine). The second slot is where you put the group from your original model you want to add. After you put those, you change the dropdown mix method to addition. Rather than applying each modifier as you go, I recommend you duplicate them as needed and get them all ready and moved above your Armature modifier. Then look them over a few times once you think you’ve captured everything, then apply them one after the other when you’re sure it’s all there. There should be a big, immediate improvement in your Anytaur(’s taurbody torso chain, you’re probably doing this for stuff in the taurbody’s torso chain) after this step.

Once you’ve figured out somewhere for all of your preexisting vertex groups to go, and you can freely pose your Anytaur without leaving any vertices behind, it’s time to WEIGHT PAINT TWO THINGS.

You’ll need to grab the RRA.spacer animation-rig-style control bone (off the Humanoid hips) in Pose mode, rotate it a little (A LITTLE) from the side isometrically, then find the vertex group for the BEND bone and start painting on weight at either full strength 1 yolo (valid) or around .4. Your back should begin to either raise or dip, depending on which way you rotated RRA.spacer. Don’t do too finicky of a job yet, because BEND doesn’t work alone, it operates in conjunction with hind.hips. Find and switch to hind.hips, and add or blur some weight forward into the lower back and belly, just, probably the whole taurbody tube. You want to balance the action of hind.hips and BEND until you get a strong but reasonable-looking response in your taurbody. Moderate the action you get by trying out the levels function on your hind.spine group (though levels is a little bugged currently--click back and forth between the viewport and the hind.spine vertex group a couple times so it doesn’t bump you back to the vertex group you were on previously). Give levels a value less than one to turn it down and free up the action in your BEND and hind.hips, or turn it up somewhat to damp them down if they’re just too freaky/rubbery/bendy. If you’re working with everything way up bright red at one you do risk getting lost in the sauce somewhat, so I recommend toning your hind.spine down to a firm green and working with red in your hind.hips and BEND that you then blur out as necessary.

Once you can grab RRA.spacer and get an amusing but like... coherent... and goodlooking... response from your torso chain, at least to moderate/reasonable movements :p, add twist bone weight painting to your taurbody thighs if you haven’t already! That’s where the hind thigh twistbones get the top halves of the thighs up to the butt--make sure they’re well-positioned up there, with their heads matching the regular thighbones’ heads, and that they reach the halfway point on the regular thigh bones--and the regular thigh bones get the bottom half of the thigh to the knee.

ONE NEAT TIP: to prevent butt crunch, move the heads of your thighbones down to the level of the “crease of your buttcheek” (but maintain the same angle as they’re supposed to have; the head of the thighbone should still be ALONG the original thighbone’s line). When your thighs hinge from THERE, they won’t vanish your butt and leave your crotch poking out into the wind when you crouch or sit! However, after moving your thigh bones’ heads, you’ll need to revisit the isometric front view and grab the tails of your twist bones, then move them back into alignment with x. If your leg chain is still properly straight up and down, you can just zoom in and move their tips to touch the dotted line.

Your Anytaur should now be FULLY WEIGHTED to its armature!! Now it’s time to GET THIS BEAST INTO UNITY.

#text post #anytaur

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galacticlamps · 3 years

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im sorry im sorry im sorry i know it’s been well over a year but i accidentally thought about Short Trips: Deleted Scenes (again) and it’s killing me (again) so i think im just gonna go ahead and post all these stupid thoughts that have been plaguing me about it since i first heard it & maybe that’ll help clear up some space in my head for like, real life things.

Spoilers I guess? It’s like a year and a half old but also high key the most recent 2nd doctor content i believe we’ve gotten which is like, the only negative thing I can say about it

The TLDR version is this:

I literally cant believe how sweet it is? Painful, but sweet. Like. I don’t honestly know what’s more likely - did they set out to write Jamie a nice little straight love interest and just fail miserably at it by constantly likening her to the Doctor AND paralleling the Doctor’s perspective with her ex’s AND putting Jamie’s relationships with both of them in direct tension with each other while constantly letting his with the Doctor win out?

OR - did they do a very 1960s thing and say hey we’re gonna write what’s essentially a story about how much Jamie and the Doctor love each other and release it on Valentine’s Day thinly disguised as a one-off romance with a french lady?

Now, as a general rule, my attitude toward questions like that is usually “don’t know, don’t care, doesn’t matter” - and while I 100% stand by that, I also have to admit that this particular audio seems to pay enough attention to detail that I’d kind of think I was selling it short if I assumed too many of these things were just meaningless coincidences, you know?

Anyway, that’s the most coherent/overarching thought. And here’s a disorganized list of things I absolutely cannot get over about it (they don’t form any kind of argument, mind, they just all happen to live rent free in my head):

- Celine is first taken in by Jamie being an idiot (specifically him claiming not to speak French, in perfect French); likewise, her entrance in the scene where they actually kiss is marked with a little anecdote about her hat getting stuck on a doornail and her scolding it as she attempts to fix her un-tameable appearance, and the narration says Celine “would often clown for Jamie like this” - all of which, while undeniably adorable, don’t exactly strike me as entirely original traits to have been assigned to Jamie’s love-interest (but also Celine is so cool and her perspective on film/media/time is an excellent addition to the long list of dr who characters)

- When they’re in the present, describing Jamie’s relationship with Celine in 1908, they call him her “companion” and highlight his going nearly everywhere with her, which earns a laugh from the 4th doctor (and me as well, though probably for slightly different reasons - but like, is that really all it takes to have a fling with someone in 60′s era who? bc if so...)

- Celine’s ex-fiance is still in love with her and is jealously watching when she kisses Jamie ... and then the Doctor appears beside him, evidently doing the exact. same. thing. They have the following conversation:

“You know, it’s not prudent to spy on people. But then, people in pain can’t be expected to act prudently.”

“Pain, monsieur? You mistake me.”

“Ah, do I? Good, because I rather thought you’d lost something.”

“What would you know about loss monsieur?”

- I’m sorry doc but who do you think you are, saying stuff like that and smiling sadly at the floor to boot? I 100% had to pause it here the first time I listened, just to not throw my laptop across the room.

- Then when I recovered continued, the Doctor closes the door so they can’t watch anymore and explains “Possessing things comes so terribly easily to some men that losing them can feel cruel, intolerably cruel. In my experience, only the very best of men cannot be tempted to answer that cruelty with more - I do sincerely hope that you are the best of men.” (guess who gets described as the best of men by the end of the audio?)

- Jamie and the Doctor apparently develop a habit of walking along the river in Paris in silence

- During one such walk, Jamie suggests Celine come with them since she already figured out about the Tardis - and when the Doctor’s worried by this, he says he only allowed Jamie & Celine to grow closer “because of Victoria.” Jamie takes offense at the ‘allowing it’ comment and also refuses to admit he knows what the Doctor means about Victoria, which leads the Doctor to say that he knows how fond Jamie was of her - he was too, of course, but with him, “it was different, wasn’t it?” Jamie only says maybe that’s true and maybe that’s not, but his voice catches until he changes the subject

- Jamie doesn’t see Celine for days both times that she’s recovering from the shock and depression of her work being destroyed. In contrast, when the Doctor’s not well, Jamie’s "afraid” and “guilty” and hardly seems to leave his side at all, if his being there “rushing to embrace him” the second he wakes up - after a period Jamie describes as “at least a week” - is anything to go by, anyway. so either bf writers need to learn how to write a committed straight relationship or admit that’s not what they ever intended in the first place

- Oh yeah, and the Doctor spends that week "asleep” in Jamie’s bedroom - no, there’s no explanation as to if that’s where he was when he first collapsed or if it’s where Jamie decided to take him bc why would they feel the need to explain him being there? why was it even relevant to tell us it was Jamie’s room in the first place?

- The Doctor somehow manages to control the Tardis enough to take Celine on one trip to an alien planet and then return to the correct time & place for her to use the footage she recorded there in her new film - and while the audio doesn’t do very much to explain how that was possible, it does treat this as A Pretty Big Deal, and immediately afterward the Doctor has to spend a week communing with his past self (and/or the Tardis?) debating how likely it is that the Time Lords could use this to trace him. When he decides it’s not worth the risk and they have to stop the film from ever being shown to the public, Jamie asks why he agreed to it in the first place, and all he can say is “Because, Jamie, you asked me to!” earning awkward stares from the crowd.

- Oh, but, lest we forget, that little outburst is also immediately followed by him putting his arm around Jamie’s shoulders, and, shockingly, apparently beginning to actually explain the truth about the danger from the Time Lords - until they’re interrupted, of course idk why exactly but the idea of a 60s dr wanting to come clean with a companion but not being allowed to bc the show demands the war games be something of a reveal hurts me in a very good way

- The mental image of “the Doctor and Jamie, resplendent in borrowed evening wear”

- The audio admitting that Jamie’s not very good at subterfuge, and the Doctor asking if he’s going to be alright with them having to steal the film back from Celine - and Jamie’s little “Aye, Doctor” as he feels a ‘glass arrow piercing his chest’ glad to see bf is reading all my letters about exactly how i feel any time something sad happens to james robert mccrimmon

- The Doctor’s anxious to get out of there for obvious reasons, but he hangs around bc Jamie wants to see Celine again - which doesn’t happen, because of her aforementioned shock & depression, but she does leave Jamie a note that ends “you and that Doctor of yours - look after him Jamie, he loves you dearly, as do I.” yeah, if you didn’t want people to draw a parallel there, you could’ve picked, like, any other wording in the world.

- In case you weren’t fully convinced I’ve been reading too much into this whole audio already, consider this: Celine dies in Long Island in 1968, three days before her birthday - 1968 is when this story would’ve taken place in the show’s history (between Fury & Wheel), and dying three days before/after a birthday in America seems a bit... well I had some deja vu from it, anyway

- Four of all people being the one to bring back the film - I know he does it bc Sarah Jane makes him, but personally, I often feel like despite the length of his run, 4 is the Doctor with which we might’ve gotten the fewest glimpses into his interiority, so the fact that it’s him and not one of the more overtly sentimental Doctors makes it feel like it carries even more weight somehow, to me anyway. I think I wrote a post saying roughly the same thing about 4 & Fate of Krelos/Return to Telos but maybe I only did that inside my own head lol. Still, I’m all for any opportunities for Jamie to be one of the few characters to draw some noticeable emotion out of Four, but in fairness I haven’t touched too much of his EU stuff to really be able to compare the frequency with which this happens with other past companions

- Is Four referring to Two or Jamie when he says he got the film from “an old family friend”? Two did the actual stealing, but he probably means Jamie’s involvement - either way, it’s an interesting way of describing old companions - or selves?

- When Jemima goes to call Jamie a thief, Four is “roused” to defend him: “he really was the very best of men” again, any time four freely shows he cares about someone, im over the moon about it

- Oh ha ha, there’s an audio called “Deleted Scenes” featuring the Doctor who’s most affected by junked episodes. And at the end of it, a character who’s spent her life researching and lecturing about a lost film gets to watch it be ‘rediscovered’ after it’s gone unseen for decades. I feel marginally less stupid for reading into the other details of a story like this when it ends up deciding to be to be clever & slightly meta like that

But yeah

all in all, it’s kind of amazing to me that this genuinely reads like they sat down and said okay boys it’s valentines day, let’s write an audio where jamie kisses a girl, since that hasn’t happened except as a plot device in one story in 1967 - but then when they got down to business they accidentally(?) wrote a story all about how important his bond with the Doctor is and how easily that can be compared to a legitimate love interest (even if the love interest in question is a one off character & the extent of the relationship appears to be like one kiss & then having Jamie spend most of his time around the Doctor instead)

I realize there’s something slightly illogical about writing the words “shipping aside” after a post like this but seriously - no matter how many categories you’re able to see two & jamie’s relationship fitting into, this is 40 minutes of big finish just hitting you over the head with how powerful/special/important that relationship is, and with them being two of my favorite characters, i really haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since

#jamie mccrimmon #second doctor #big finish #Short Trips: Deleted Scenes #yes i am gonna tag this #two/jamie #i think it earned it with the line from celine's letter if nothing else #and quite possibly the doctor's so-called imprudent & pain-driven spying #but i'll leave it at that #in case anyone's looking at the tags to decide if they should actually read this rambling monster of a post #also if you for some reason read this but haven't listened to the audio -#a) that's kind of you to care what i have to say but #b) you could probably have listened to half of it by now lol #did i mention it's a stand-alone audio that only costs $3?#and it's more of a traditional audio book format with one narrator who voices all the characters?#sorry i wasn't ready to do a bf pitch in the tags here #i genuinely dont know why someone who hasn't already heard it would bother to read all this #but if anyone has - thanks?#i'll shut up now so you can get on w ur day :)

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florenceisfalling · 3 years

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Okay so you misinterpreted my post entirely. Your post was also was in the tag. You didn't mention their name exactly but you did in the comments and for the fact them being the only tea blog around these days its quite obvious.. (if you don't count im-lmfao who imo is worse at this point for spamming the tag with reminders of blue existing) The whole point of bringing up tea blogs in the tags at all is what I have a problem with. It's so easy to just ignore them. The fandom did for a while and suddenly there's this big surge of people once again looking at blue, interacting with blue, posting about blue, interacting with posts about blue and you are contributing to that and probably don't even realize it at all. I know you had the best intentions and wanted to tell people to NOT post about blue, but by posting that you ARE posting about blue and engaging some sort of conversation about it.. So please. Just ignore the whole tea blogs topic. avoid it, act like it's not there so we can all get on with our lives. (And please if you see ANYONE talking about blue or tea blogs in the tag at all, send them an ask or dm kindly reminding and asking them to not do that.. Only then will we REALLY get rid of them.. Not by publicly reminding everyone that they exist, but by uniting and ignoring)

anon. anon please. i am picking you up gently like a child with a small pet pig. i am looking you deeply in the eyes. anon, my beloved.

the misinterpretation goes both ways here. from what i can gather, you want people to stop bringing up tea blogs in the tags at all because you don't want to see shit about them. that is not my goal here. i want people to stop trying to put in their time and effort to debate blue. these are two different goals.

the reason i'm not deleting my post is because it was about not, like i said, "[calling] them out". i briefly mentioned them to say, hey, guys, that won't work. some people agreed. that's it. you, on the other hand, have commented, sent asks, and also called out other discourse blogs by name. your attempts to fix this have literally been more inflammatory than mine because hey, look at this, now we're engaging in another disheartening debate.

the idea that im "contributing" to this whole ordeal is so wild to me because i have like... minimal interaction compared to a lot of people in this fandom. i barely post in the j**cksepticeye tag at all. the person i was discussing discourse with in the comments literally isn't even in this fandom anymore, they're just a friend.

my blog is just where i vibe. i don't think it's cool or nice to tell me to ignore the tea blogs topic when you're the one bringing up a conversation i finished long before you messaged me. i don't think it's cool or nice to talk about how "we all want to get on with our lives" when you are the only person who has negatively reacted to what i said, and you should not have authority over what i post. and i don't think your last suggestion is nice or cool, either, 'cause i'm not gonna individually call out people + make them feel bad about sharing their opinions,, when my goal was to just help people avoid getting basically bullied by blue in a one-sided argument.

what i said in my original post was an attempt at a helpful suggestion, and i'm sorry if it came across too vague and bothered you. but no one else expressed that they had a problem with it and i'd really appreciate if you would move on like you claim to want to do.

#censored that one word so this wont go in the main tags #discourse #also how can you say another discourse blog that is just pointing out bad stuff is worse than blue #when blue posts misogynistic shit etc. to further their bs

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mymadmedleyw · 3 years

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Fic Writer Review

I was tagged by @dp-marvel94 (I am just saying this is my very first occassion to by tagged in a thing like that, so filling this made my day really, thank you!)

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

22 – wow, that sounds many…

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

206.997, and more than the half belongs under one idea – that’s creepy…

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Oh, it’s many… once, I am into something, I have to write in that – surprisingly I am addicted to DP for nearly a year, and nothing else.

(But little bit of history, from the newest to the oldest: Danny Phantom, The Irregulars (that was really a short one), Guardians of Childhood/Rise of the Guardians (my very first finished multi-chaptered one was in that), Dark, Charmed (the old one, not the new series), Gravity Falls, Venom, Doctor Who, a crossover within Tangled: The Series and Milo Murphy’s Law, Death Note/Death Note: Another Note; and I had some ideas about a Rick and Morty and Gravity Falls crossover, and it seems I never uploaded here my concept about a not crossover Tangled: The Series idea, and either an independent one in Rick and Morty, hm… shame. Most of those are not finished. Okay, like 99% of it…)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Core (Danny Phantom), stand-alone, ~3k

What The Past Holds (Danny Phantom), wip, ~91k

Pitch’s Secret (Guardians of Childhood/Rise of the Guardians), finished, ~14k

We are not alone (Venom), really short one, ~1k

Phantom (Danny Phantom), stand-alone, ~2k

5. Which of your fic do you want more attention for?

Definitely it’s WTPH. It’s my current work. The idea about it came in December, and since that, I am working on that constantly. At first, I had ideas for eight chapters, and nothing else. Now, it grew into this monstrosity: a side-line (Bonds Over Time), and a collection that contains the deleted scenes or ideas that appeared in my mind and could fit into the story (Bits Of The Past), and also an entirely finished concept for Vlad’s past (Certain Moment Of Time), that could be connected to it too.

I also put many headcanons in that, and ticks of characters, and parallels, and layers that I just love: like Vlad having a sister and some details about his family background, Dan having Vlad’s memories too, how the explosion in the Nasty Burger happened and how Dan turned out like that… some precious things, really, but I won’t elaborate much, in case of anyone wants to give a read to it. Overall, I tried to make the TUE-mess into a somewhat more reasonable logical mess – if I managed to do that at all. I don’t know I’m just like a mother with a new-born with it: look, it’s my child! I made it! I developed it! here, hold it! and love it too, as much as I do! (Sorry, I don’t know how that metaphor came…)

6. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Even if it’s a kudo, or a keysmash as a comment, I write back. I mean, if someone writes – literally anything – and spends time with it, I write them back too. (And my very bad habit, that sometimes, if the comment hits an interesting thought, I tend to explain the background behind that more, and accidentally spilling some things I shouldn’t yet... In many cases, it’s like a brainstorming, and then I use that idea. I mean as, for example many of @dp-marvel94’s comments on ff, made me to realise some things, and how then I fixed those forgotten parts made my story along with it much better – once, I will list them, and you’ll be surprised how long is that list, and how obvious things I forgot about entirely…)

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Okay, I don’t have many finished story – shame on me. So, I’ll count the shorts. I think it’s then Phantom. It rolls around the idea what if in Forever Phantom, Danny can’t change back to Phantom, and his parents blame Phantom for the disappearance of Danny, and they start chasing madly the ghosts, making them leave the human realm once and for all – which means, Danny has to go with them. It’s really a short fic, but I very like this idea, and it was my very first in this fandom. (I was watching DP that time, I mean, getting familiar with it, but this idea got stuck in my head as I watched that episode, so that was my introduction here. Also, I watched my very first DP episode that time, which means, less then a year ago, so, I am that newbie here…) I am not spilling the end of the story, but it doesn’t have a very happy end I could say.

8. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Uh, yes? I have a crossover within Tangled: The Series and Milo Murphy’s Law. It’s unfinished, but that time I thought Milo and Varian have the same vibe, including clumsiness. It was only a short idea that time, but it’s definitely worth once to continue or finish somehow. I have a crossover within Rick and Morty, and Gravity Falls. That is standing within my very big idea, but it’s halfway written on my original language and English and that’s like after how a certain trilogy end, but it has some mentioning of ideas I never finished, so yeah… it’s not even published anywhere. Maybe, once, I’ll decide what language I prefer for that, and translate the other part and then, hardly, but I’ll finish it some day... – or, never, it actually would be a very big bite if I try to imagine it.

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don’t remember to that. I mean, my main story (WTPH) kind of not everyone’s preference, ’cause of Dan, so that’s already divides the readers and I haven’t got all in all many comments yet on my stories (kudos are appreciated too, I am shy too to leave comments on fics, so don’t worry, I get it), so I think I haven’t got any. But I'd be curious to experience if someone reads one of my stories and leaves behind a comment that then criticizing it. I mean, I’d be open to learn what part is not fitting, or just too much. (I am surprised that no one ever mentioned my ’weird’ sentences. I mean for me those make sense, but those make sense for a native English person too? I’m always worried about that…)

10. Do you write smut? if so what kind?

Uh, yeah, I did. Not very proud of it, though I don’t have a heart to orphan that work. I mean, it belongs to me too. Sometimes I wonder to delete some of my works, but then I realise, no, that’s me, I won’t pretend where I came from, and shove into the dustbin my mad thoughts... All in all, my stories now, for a while, are much more family-friendly – if, anything within DP could be really counted as ‘family-friendly’…

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah, I was very proud of my story back then, called Metamorphosis (Death Note), and I had a crazy idea and tried to translate it. So now, the first chapter is out there both in English and both in my native language, but I got stuck at the second chapter. I couldn’t translate wisely and logically the title of it to give out the many meaning it has in English. And I once tried to translate California (Gravity Falls) to English, but that would be a hard work, so I left it behind – maybe once…

Over that I sometimes has a crazy idea to translate back and forth my stories, no, beyond that, I haven’t had a fic translated from anyone else. And I think I am the only masochist that it ever crosses my mind, I guess…

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, not really. I’d be curious to once do that – maybe, but I’m not sure...

(To tell the truth, I’d be worried about that. I’d be glad to do that once, but I am anxious if I could understand my co-writer, or not. I mean, do you have any idea that I have to give five reads to any longer comments to understand it? I understand those (and I really love getting those!), but I have to give many reads to make sure I understand those well, and then, making sure, I answer back right, and my sentences make sense. My fics have ’fancy’ words, and I love working in English, but sometimes it’s a curse it’s not my native one. So then, I’m constantly worried about interactions, if I receive well something, and if my sentences are understandable for others or not. So, in short, you can see my struggle here… same reason I don’t do Invisobang, but I am considering it...)

13. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I’m not very much a ship-type. But I count Danny and Sam, as a fix point. (Danny and Val was nice and I’d have been very glad to see them in more episodes, but let’s face it, that wouldn’t work, because both of them are too stubborn to choose their other life and if once, they would face with each other, knowing everything about the other, they’d remain allies or at most very good friends.) If, the question is, what are the ships in my head (but not necessarily just ‘romantic’) that I prefer to read, well, it’s Dan and Valerie. I love their dynamics, especially in Deliverance. I don’t know why I just love reading it.

For other reasons I ship Dani and Valerie. Though I can’t write romance and stuff like that, but in one of my planned ideas they are dating - sort-of...

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Okay, there are many. Surely, it’s my Gravity Falls story, called California, but that’s a huge one, and the first one in a trilogy (plus some additional side-lines), and mainly in my head for years, so yeah… I think I won’t ever reasonably finish that as it should be finished. A Tale of Fords (Gravity Falls) could be count as one too. Oh, and Envision and ties (Doctor Who). Sad to say, but yeah, I am always saying, “maybe once”, but I am not sure when…

15. What are your writing strengths?

Okay, this is a funny thing, but I’ve realised I can’t deal with many characters at the same time. So, I think my strength are dialogues and interactions within two people. And I get into their thoughts, so I guess if I have to word it somehow: it’s character-studies then.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Can’t handle more than two people. No, seriously, somehow it always turns out, the third is unconscious, sleeping, leaves the room, and so on. I’ve just recognised it recently, and it was a hilarious recognition…

I am also bad at actions, like very very bad, I don’t even try that, because my brain just simple can’t come up with fight-scenes at all. I think I only can write character-studies, and nothing else.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Oh, man… does it count I am not a native English-user? So, technically I ‘always’ write dialogues in another language? But jokes aside, sometimes, I have ideas that the people use another language, and I am like “are you aware, you can’t even write English slang?”, so then, I gave up. Right now, though, I am planning to add ASL in one of my future ideas. I am wrecking my mind, how to do that nicely – but that’s only a forming plan, and dated for next year, currently, I am only collecting ideas for that.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Does it count my very first fic was a fanfiction of one of my friend’s fanfiction in high school? She wrote a really good story – not shared anywhere, we were just giving each other the hand-written exercise book (oh, the old days…). If I remember well, it was a crossover within Supernatural and Queen of the Damned (the movie, not the book). I had no idea about Supernatural, but the story was good, but I was not satisfied with the end, and in secret I wrote another end for it, to myself. I’m not sure where is that anymore, but I clearly remember that was my very first written stuff, and that’s how my origin story began and how is I am here now.

(Oh, and once, I wrote a H2O fanfiction short story to my sister as a name-day present, in which she was a mermaid, discovering her powers during a holiday at a beach (we were at that time in Croatia in a family holiday, so the timing was fitting), and that was one of my very first fandoms to write in it too… God, I have no idea why I wrote it down, it just crossed my mind, and I remember I thought it was cute, I think she was eleven or twelve that time, so I am not sure she appreciated as much as I found it fun to write that…)

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

This is mean… anyway, currently it’s WTPH, for obvious reasons. But I am very proud how the Angst Week turned out (my work for that is called Certain Moment of Time). First of all, I doubted I would be able to write for every day, since I planned to do the whole DannyMay, but things turned out differently and I am still sad, I haven’t done many. But I did not just managed to write for all days, but all could be counted under one idea, and also each of the chapters could be read independently at the same time. It includes a little bit of background story about Vlad, about a rewritten time, his struggles at the hospital, things around Danny’s birth, how Danny managed to survive the Portal incident, how Vlad was informed about the Ghost Boy, and that actually Danny’s separation was just a ‘plan B’ that Vlad tried to avoid… it’s complicated to describe the many things in that, but when I feel WTPH an unescapable mess, and I am frustrated by the lack of proper words to finish the coming chapters, CMOT is my absolute favourite. And I love the whole idea about it. No, I’ll be honest, that’s my beloved so far (just because it’s finished). But I like so much too my idea about Dan and Dani in Bonds Over Time, how they try to live together a normal life… okay, let’s admit it, this question is mean, I seriously can’t tell, and I am thinking right now only my current ones…

20. What fic are you most proud of?

Okay, this is mean too. I am proud of my old works as much that I always go back to them when I am in a nostalgic mode. (I haven’t read any of my old ones in ages, because I try to avoid distractions, and knowing myself, I’d start thinking about the continuation and never finishing my current works at all...)

I am proud of Pitch’s Secret, because that was my very first multi-chaptered one idea that I actually managed to finish. That in fact, gave me the courage to start working on a multi-chaptered DP one. (My original plan was to be brave and aim doing eight chapters, to top the five, and I would have been very proud of myself, but instead now it’s way longer than that original idea, and I seriously don’t know when it will end – twenty chapters maybe?)

I think, if I don’t include the previous question. (It’s the same, isn’t it?) I am very proud of the first chapter in my Doctor Who fic. That doesn’t tell anything about the plot or about anything, that just gives a very good atmospheric background. Every time I read that, it gives me shivers.

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okay, I don’t know who to tag, anyone who feels like it, serve yourself, I am curious... :)

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catxsnow · 4 years

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WW III D.G.

Summary: Disbanding the Titans did more damage on you then anyone would have thought. Based on Titans

Warning: SWEARING YOU KNOW THE DRILL, angst, uh some mentions that you and Dick did the sex

A/N: This is kind of has a similar vibe to OLD WOUNDS, but like more painful if that’s possible so have fun.

GIF not mine.

Word Count: 3k

Being part of the original Titans was something that you were proud of. You were the youngest of the bunch but proved your worth the first time that you fought together as a team. The six of you were unstoppable together and for years you continued to prove that. It was upon losing Garth that the team broke apart.

Jericho too, even though he was never part of the team. He trusted the lot of you like friends and you betrayed him. You used him to get to his father. It had taken a toll on all of you. It was why you all parted ways.

Hank and Dawn left together, you were sure nothing could break them apart. They kept up the crime fighting at their own pace. Donna quit altogether, she couldn't bare to wear that suit again after losing Gar. Dick became a detective in Detroit, never to be heard from again.

You however, you stayed in San Francisco. The city had been your home your entire life and just because the team split apart in their own ways, didn't mean that you were ready to part with your home. The Titans Tower remained vacant. Though you couldn't leave the city, you couldn't go back to your home away from home either.

There were too many memories in there. Memories of spending late night hours with Dawn and Donna being just regular girls during crazy times. Memories of beating Hank and Garth in training and never letting them hear the end of it. Memories of you and Dick, balancing between lovers and haters.

Throughout all the years that you had known Dick Grayson, you couldn't tell how you spent your time with him more: at his throat fighting or between his sheets. The two of you had a fire that never went away, sometimes it left destruction in its path while others it created something beautiful.

He consumed your life. Every day, every hour you were with him. The team couldn't keep up with what kind of terms that you were on half the time. Especially when you were out fighting together, no matter what was going on between you, the two of you protected each other to a whole new level.

You and Dick were perfect together when it came to crime fighting, that was a constant between the two of you.

And then he left. Dick Grayson packed up his bags and left San Francisco, he left you. It had been years ago but you could still remember the pain from him gone. Dick left you without even a goodbye. He thought that it was best to just disappear without anyone knowing where he was gone, without a painful goodbye.

Fuck did that hurt you.

Dick had the tendency to make your life miserable. The two of you fought over everything, couldn't agree on anything, and reeked such havoc that you couldn't tell where the destruction ended and where it started. However, he also knew how to make your life a blessing. Sweet words whispered to you late at night, kisses that would make your knees weak, and affection that continuously dragged you in for more.

His disappearance changed all that. You no longer wanted to feel these things for him, looking back at it, your relationship was nothing but toxic. One minute you were getting dragged down by him and the next you were on a pedestal. Never had a relationship of yours been filled with so many ups and downs.

So, when Dick popped up on your radar in San Francisco, specifically at the one place that you used to call home, you had no choice but to see what the hell he was doing in your city. Not only had he come back, but he had brought a bunch of strangers as well. This wasn't just his building to use, it was all of yours.

Dick, along with the others who had been curious as to who was riding up the elevator, waited for your arrival in. He knew that it had been years since he had come to see you and that leaving your like this wasn't going to be a warm welcome. He didn't know what to expect when it came to you.

As soon as the elevator doors opened, Dick looked at you in awe. The years apart had done you well. You looked older, more mature. It was obvious that you were still in the game, muscles were more defined than they ever had been. You hair had changed styles - it suited you better. Dick thought that you looked beautiful.

His moment of awe was abruptly ended when he felt a punch thrown right at his cheek. Dick groaned at the pain and held onto where you had hit him. Your fists were clenched at your sides and it was easy to tell you were pissed. The kids behind him simultaneously let out a noise of shock that some stranger would attack their supposed leader like that.

"What the fuck are you doing back here, Grayson," you spit out. As much as he never knew what you were going to do, he didn't expect you to be this angry. "You disappear for years, no calls, no texts and then you show your face back in my city?" you pushed him back with every statement until he was up against a wall.

Dick had never seen such a fire in your eyes. After all of your fights, you were never this angry with him.

"(Y/N), I-" he paused. The last thing that he wanted to do with you right now was fight. You had done enough of that when you were kids.

"Who's the babe?" One of the kids that Dick had with him spoke up with the sudden silence. There were two boys, both of which must have been around the same age while the girl looked a little younger. You had no idea who these people were but they must have been special to be in the tower.

"I recommend you treat me with some respect, kid. Or I'll put you on your ass before you can repeat that," you snapped. Generally, you were in a lot better mood than this, however seeing Dick again but a new kind of fire in your chest.

"This is, (Y/N) (L/N)," Dick glanced between you and the others. "We, were, uh, partners."

"Partners wouldn't leave each other," you glared. "I don’t know why I even bothered coming here. Fuck you, Dick Grayson." You shook your head in frustration and headed back to the elevator that you came up from. This was a mistake, you shouldn't have even bothered to stir up old feelings that you had buried years ago.

"(Y/N)," Dick called out for you. "I could use your help, starting the Titans back up again." He wanted to tell you that he wanted you back in his life. He would take any excuse to have you back again. Coming back to the tower was driven by wanting to see you again. it had been years, and he had no idea where to start.

You laughed, the kind of laugh that put a chill through him. "You want to start the Titans again? Are you insane? There's a reason I never came back here, Dick. You should have done the same. Leave, before someone else gets killed on your watch."

"I can't do this without you," Dick tried to stop you once more. You were already standing in the elevator, praying that these doors would close faster. He missed you, he just didn't realize how much until arriving there. Memories of the two of you rushed back to him and he couldn't get you out of his head.

"Good. Don't."

Finally, the doors closed. You could feel your chin tremble as the overwhelming desire to cry surfaced. Seeing him again reminded you of what used to be. The two of you were destined to be at your game of cat and mouse forever. He ruined that, and he knew it too. Leaving you was one of the biggest regrets he had.

You hadn't been the same without him. Your fighting became more tactile and aggressive - just as his had. You didn't have anyone to back you up anymore leaving you with more injuries than you ever had with the team. After years of having someone to watch your back, it took a long time to become accustomed to going solo.

One thing was for sure: you weren't going to let him back into your life just to fuck it all up again.

Being an original Titan meant that all your information was stuck in the database, no matter how many times you tried to delete it all. You address, you family, everything there was to know about you down to your allergies. With all that at the tip of Dick's fingers, he couldn't not go over to your home to try and fix things.

He let you cool down, gave you a few days to think about his reappearance. Not to mention that he needed to settle back into the place that he once called home again. Every room that he went in, all he could think about was the memories that he made with you in each of them. His old bedroom struck him the hardest.

Past memories consumed him. The ones of the hours that you spent with him in there - laughing, joking, fighting, the make ups and the break ups. He knew that the path that you guys took was a bumpy one but he wanted it all back. He wanted you back and he knew that it wasn't fair of him to ask you of that.

Dick broke your trust. He left you when he should have known that you were the only person that would have his back. He lost the trust of the others, not after what he did with Jericho. You were the only one who knew that this was all of your faults, not just his. You were willing to share the blame but he put it all on himself.

When Dick showed up at your doorstep, late at night with a bottle of whiskey in his hands as a peace offering, you didn't want to let him in. You didn't want to let him back into your life after he ruined you for so many years. Yet, when you met his eyes, you couldn't resist opening the door a little wider for him to step in.

You brought two glasses to your small living room and handed one over to him. With your history, you were going to need the whole bottle if either of you wanted this to end well.

"I'm sorry," Dick finally brought up the reason that he was there. "I fucked up, I know. You didn't deserve this. I shouldn't have left you, not the way that I did."

"No, you shouldn't have," you agreed. "Jericho wasn't your fault, Dick. We all agreed to the plan, I take as much responsibility as you do. You didn't kill him, Slade did. If there's anyone to blame it's him. I wish you would have understood that all those years ago, I wish the others would have too."

"Doesn't matter," Dick shook his head. "They wanted to throw the blame on me and I let them, I wanted them to."

"You've always been a glutton for punishment," You sighed, taking another sip of your drink. "You can't just come back here thinking that I'm going to waltz back into your arms, Dick. You wrecked me when you left. Do you know how hard it was for me to move on with my life without you? After all those years together I thought that I would have meant more to you."

"You do," Dick met your eyes. Glutton for punishment was right, he was kicking himself over this, over leaving you. "I was never good for you. How many times did we fight? You deserve a lot better partner than me. I always knew that, I just hoped that me leaving would make you realize that as well."

It didn't. Him leaving brought out your worst self-consciousness. You analyzed everything about the situation wondering why the fuck he would leave without telling you. The others all said their farewells, wished you the best of luck. All except him, it was as if the moment the others left that you meant nothing to him as well.

"It didn't," you shook your head, pouring yourself another glass. "I tried to forget about you. Fuck did I try. You meant a lot of things to me, Dick. I just wish that you would have been able to see that."

"If I would have meant that much to you, we wouldn't have argued so much," Dick countered.

"Fight just to fuck just to fight again," You scoffed to yourself. It was true, looking back at many of your years, that seemed to be the trend. Anyone who didn't know you would have just known this, they wouldn't have known about the emotional moments you shared, the genuine care that you had for each other.

"World War Three, huh?"

You knew that if anyone tried to hurt you, Dick would have torn them apart. He would have fought anyone that looked at you the wrong way he cared so much - at least you thought it was him caring. Years of pinning over each other, maybe it wasn't care, maybe it was obsessiveness that he had for you.

The idea of a constant battle of fighting just to make up. Knowing that he could never quite have you but also aware that you couldn't belong to anyone else. Bruce shaped Dick into many things, but his compulsiveness? That was something that you were sure that was formed from neglect of emotion.

"I loved you, Dick," you gripped the sides of the chair you were sitting on to stop you from shaking. "You left before I ever got the chance to tell you."

"We all left, (Y/N)," Dick looked at you with sadness written on his face. "Titans disbanded, we couldn't keep up this act of being a team anymore. You didn't have to stay here either, that was your choice."

You picked up on his tone. I didn't love you back. Maybe he was the self-righteous asshole that everyone put him out to be. You were just to blindsided to see it for so many years. He pulled you into a trap and even when he let you go you still hung on.

Dawn. It was always Dawn that he wanted, not you. He knew with Hank in the picture, he would never get her again. Their fling was short lasting but made an ever lasting effect on him. Dawn didn't realize that it had hurt you more than it had hurt anyone else.

"I hoped that we could be a team again," your voice was strained. You downed the rest of your drink hoping to cover it up. Your disappointment turned to frustration and anger towards him. "You're right, I should have known better than to keep my hopes up. I see you found replacements already."

"I was hoping you would come back too," Dick offered again. You shook your head, going back there would do you no good. Being back with Dick would only drag you into old habits, habits that nearly destroyed you last time. After taking years to build yourself back up again, you couldn't afford the risk.

"I was too blindsided by your cock last time, I'm not making the same mistake again," You stood up from your spot and walked over to the front door. "I think its time to do what you do best and leave."

"I'm not leaving here until I know that you're going to be okay," Dick stayed seated in his spot. He poured himself another glass and topped up your drink. The two of you were going through the bottle like it was nothing. "I always cared about you, I never stopped. Please, just think about coming back to the Titans.

"Dick, please. Just go," your voice trembled. Just because he cared about you didn't mean he ever loved you like you loved him. How much of his feelings were faked just so he could get laid? You weren't the type of person that could have casual sex, you needed that emotional tether. Dick didn't.

"I'm being serious," Dick leaned back on your couch. He wasn't going to leave, he was too stubborn for that.

"I'll come back if you can look me in the eyes and tell me that once upon a time you loved me."

Dick sighed, his eyes sealed shut at your ultimatum. God did he want you back at the tower, he wanted you there as his fighter, as a leader. He couldn't handle a bunch of kids on his own, he needed you there. You already knew the ins and outs of crime fighting, it would be so much easier for him.

He knew he needed you but he also knew that he couldn’t drag you through a roller coaster again. Dick had put you through so much already, it wouldn’t be fair to keep you close just for his own benefit. He cared about you too much to hurt you again.

"I can't do that, (Y/N)."

#IM SO SORRY THIS IS GOING TO HURT YOU #dickgrayson #dick grayson imagine #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson oneshot #titans #titans imagine #titans one shot #dc one shot #dc imagine #dc #angst #catxsnow writes

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trashqueen3000 · 3 years

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Cheeky Rex as part of my “Off Duty Hours” semi-pinup clone wars fanart series

EDIT: art pic has been updated to reflect correct skin tone - I had initially made him too pale (as someone pointed out). I apologize. My ipad is never at full brightness when i draw since it triggers my migraines and with the brightness turned down, i thought i had selected the correct color. I was mistaken and have gone back to fix this. This is an explanation and not an excuse - an excuse would (in my mind) insinuate that something like this was on purpose (which this was NOT) and that i was trying to save face. This was a simple issue of screen brightness/color In the future, i will be sure to double check myself and my art at full brightness before finishing it.

Again, I apologize. The video will remain the same as it was originally because it’s not as easy to go back and edit and i think that it’s only fair that i be transparent with my mistake - you all can see in the vid that i thought i had made him too pale and tried to darken him a bit, but with my brightness turned too low i thought he looked TOO dark so i undid it. Obviously, that was the incorrect call and it has now been rectified.

That being said, i didnt really appreciate the way in which this mistake was brought to my attention. There are better ways to alert an artist that their art is/may be problematic. Perhaps say “i think you made the skin too pale for this character” or “i think he should be a little darker, considering the character/character’s ethnicity” rather than “hey op why the f*ck is he white”. It comes across as unnecessarily aggressive and confrontational. Despite the anxiety this caused (i almost deleted this whole post so i could avoid that particular stress) i chose instead to own up for the mistake and leave the post up for people to see and learn from.

Im used to doing traditional art (painting/sketching) and digital art is still new to me. Color selecting is a challenge that im still getting used to (for example i also realized he was too grey, so i added a more pink tone) but with CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, i (as well as other artists) can continue improve certain skills such as that. Please dont rush to condemn an artist as being racist or purposefully offensive unless it was BLATANTLY OBVIOUS that it was on purpose. We’re human; we make mistakes sometimes and accidents happen. Im sorry for the long post edit, but i wanted to be transparent about this situation and to say a few words to address it. Be kind to people. Please and thank you. -end edit

Credit for pose ref goes to adorkastock on DeviantArt

Cross-posted on my tiktok (jedichey) and twitter (trashqueen3000)

#fanart #art #digital art #star wars #clone wars #clone wars fanart #star wars the clone wars #rex #captain rex #clone trooper rex #ct 7567 #off duty hours series #my art

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transcendentcacophony · 3 years

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Thinking about Posts and Tumblr

So I responded to an earlier post from @kalesims in the comments. I probably should have reblogged it so I didn't have to break up my response which may have made it less than useful (and potentially read to mean the opposite of what I meant), but I also wanted to move a bit beyond the initial prompt with this longer one. I have not posted much Sims stuff in awhile. Part of this is because school and work demands are eating so much of my time right now1, part of this that ongoing pursuit of perfection we all seem to have to some extent on social media, and part of it is because I may have dumped my entire CC folder into my game without sorting it properly and now it runs like rubbish and I have to fix it. Regardless, I'm going to focus on issue #2 the ongoing pursuit of perfection, because I think this is the most relevant bit and the one I've been thinking a lot about lately. Tumblr is a social media platform. (This bit is a little academic, sorry.) I think we all know that, but do we ever really think about what that means? It's ultimately a company that provides a public-facing platform with the explicit intent of marketing ourselves to each other. More likes and followers for you=more ads and money for Tumblr, but they have to incentivize that for any of us to care. How do they do that? Make it a popularity contest. How often do you look at your likes or followers count? What emotional response do you have when they're low? How many creators incentivize new followers or more likes by releasing content to correlate with milestones in those areas? This is all part of feeding that beast2. It also draws on something referred to academically as the "hedonic treadmill," which is basically the keeping up with the Joneses mentality where we constantly compare our success to our peers and find ourselves wanting, even if we aren't. This is going somewhere, I promise.

When I first started Tumblr, I had one blog: transcendentcacophony. I started it explicitly to follow sims blogs I liked and keep track of the cc I downloaded or things that caught my attention, and my initial posts all reflected that. After I was on for a while, I realized most blogs compartmentalized to a certain degree: you have a blog for gameplay, a blog for cc finds, a blog for interest x, etc., so, not being particularly versed in these things, I thought "This is how you tumble!" and immediately set about creating sideblogs like transcendentcacophonyinspire, transcendentcacophonys3cc, or transcendentcacophonystudyblr. I went through my entire archive, moved everything over to its new home, and deleted the original posts and reblogs from this page. Does that mean I think having all the sideblogs is wrong? Nope. The organization of having sideblogs is sometimes helpful, but they they make me feel kind of fractured on some level. None of these provide an image of a whole person, just brief glimpses of an aspect. Sometimes I regret having split the off, other times I find it more convenient. Mileage may vary, but the obvious winner for the sideblog model is arguably Tumblr. None of my blogs have many followers, but there isn't as much overlap in audience as you might think and if they were all still one blog, I doubt there'd be as many as there are.

This raises the question of who you intend your blog to be for. Is it for Tumblr, so they can keep making that sweet sweet ad revenue? Is it for the online audience? Or is it for you? Who do you see as your primary audience? The structure of social media clearly wants us to say everyone else. "You're here for the likes! The followers! The popularity!" Other companies lean in to this as well. How many followers do you have to have to qualify as an EA Game Changer?

I would argue that it's this pressure to have all likes, followers, etc., that prohibit us from posting what we really want to post. Are you posting the things that actually make you happy? Or are you posting the things that you think an audience wants to see?

Learning anything takes a lot of practice. How many times did you fall off before you learned to ride a bike? How many broken and malformed pots do you make before you get a perfect one? We learn by doing. Waiting for that perfect screenshot or getting reshade just right or having the perfect city in CAW keeps us from posting our broken pots. Maybe we need to post more broken pots.

If something makes us happy, does it need to be perfect, or do we love it anyway? "This is my first pot! It sucks, but I made it! Finishing it alone is an accomplishment! It's mine and I'm learning and I want to show that process so we can all get better together!" Shouldn't our screenshots or gameplay or worldbuilding be the same?

I am building a world in CAW. I've been doing it for quite awhile, and I have an entire folder full of broken pots as a result, but I learned something every time I broke one. When I read CAW forums, I learn more from the ones where things don't work than from ones where they do. I post some of my broken pots, and simmers like @nilxis or @murfeelee are so supportive and helpful and give me tips on how to better and fix issues I'm having. I value that part of this community. I don't learn to do better by not showing off my broken pots.

I know some of my interests are pretty niche. I'm building an alien scifi world, I have conversion projects from games that support that but probably won't be useful to mainstream simmers. I made a series of alien moons in conjunction with simblu, who is now deactivated. These are arguably not things that will get a lot of likes, reblogs, or followers, but they are things that make me happy. Kurt Vonnegut once said when he wrote books, he always wrote with only 2 people in mind: himself and his sister. His goal was that at the very least he would like what he wrote, and a few of the books were written with her in mind, and if anyone else liked it, it was just gravy. I can’t say I’m a fan of the man’s writing, but I kind of like the idea of this mentality.

To that end, I think I'm going to change up how I use this blog moving forward, with the express goal of posting more often and with more emphasis on things that make me happy or show off more of my broken pots. Maybe it will cost me followers, maybe it won't, but it will help me carve this little niche out of the internet that is mine, that makes me happy, and that seeks to support the simmers and other community members3 that have been so supportive of me in the past. If just one or two people get something from it, or are entertained, isn’t that still just as valid?

I don't mean to imply in any way that posting what makes you happy can't make you popular, or gain likes and followers. It's very much possible. Vonnegut wrote his books for himself and he published 14 novels, three short story collections, five plays, and five nonfiction works, complete with film adaptations of several, literary prizes, etc. You can be successful doing what you love.

But I don't know that I need to be successful at it. I want to be happy doing it first, and anything outside of that is gravy. I'm going to post more broken pots and worry less about perfection or "doing it right." I'm going to fall off the bike and get back up and keep going. And maybe, by falling and failing, I'll get better or at least good enough or comfortable enough I'm not worried so much about that quest for perfection that is currently prohibiting me from trying.

Anyways, @kalesims, I don't know if that answers the original question you had. But I'd love to see what you post, be it gameplay, screenshots, cc, etc., really whatever floats your boat, moving forward. And, if you're willing, I'd love to learn by doing together. Let's go break some pots.

1 Whoever decided the best way to avoid outbreaks on campus was to just cancel all breaks and holidays over the last year clearly doesn't understand college students (who very much are still having parties and making up their own breaks) or that the reason we have those breaks is for mental health. Fall break was specifically added to reduce suicide rates among graduate students. And admin wonders why everyone hates them... 2 There's a researcher who looks at social media as a neoliberal marketplace that forces us to monetize ourselves without necessarily allowing us to realize that's what we're doing. She's got a book coming out about it next month if anyone is interested: Pain Generation: Social Media, Feminist Activism, and the Neoliberal Self(ie)

3I have in no way forgotten you, @piyotan, and you are definitely part of my online community, this was just targeted largely at simming.

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ask-hetaaca-denmark · 4 years

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I’m sorry.

For the love of all things good in the world, I am so sorry.

Everything that’s being brought to light with this AU, most of it was only brought to my attention through goodbye posts, and only hours ago. This is why communication is important, because had this been brought up sooner, more could’ve been done. Things could’ve been explained. This goes both ways, but I wish it hadn’t come to such a horrific end.

The actions I’ve done are inexcusable. I’ve unintentionally whitewashed a character, but I still did it, and that’s absolutely disgusting and abhorrent behaviour from anyone in this AU, especially from a mod. I’ve done awful things and I haven’t held everyone to the same standards when it came to rules, again, unintentional, but it happened. Just because I didn’t do it with intention doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt anyone. It doesn’t mean people don’t have the right to be angry, to be upset, to feel hatred.

I’m truly sorry for my actions, but I don’t expect to be forgiven. I don’t want to be forgiven. I want to be held accountable, I want it to be drilled into my head how awful I am and how the things I’ve said and done have real consequences. Thank you to the members and ex-members who tried to keep me in check, and I wish I had half the patience you guys did. You shouldn’t have had to put up with that.

I’m especially sorry to Dafi, the original creator and owner, for ruining the AU they put so much love and care into. I thought I could live up to their legacy and make the AU warm and inviting, I tried to take every criticism and fix it, and I failed miserably. I never meant for this to happen, and I regret ever saying I could run this group. I’m not fit to be an admin, I’m not fit to be a member.

I’m going to hand the AU back to them, they can choose where it goes from here. Whether it stays up, or whether it gets deleted overall. It’s obvious the mods and I don’t know what we’re doing, and I will never be able to apologise enough to make it right, but I’m genuinely so sorry.

This blog will be put on archive. I don’t deserve to have this character, or to associate with an AU that was once so great. I deserve to rot in a hole for my actions, and I thank everyone who showed me this. Truly, had I not known, I would’ve kept repeating these mistakes. Now I can take action and make sure no one is ever hurt by me again.

Goodbye, and thank you for the support you gave to me, my blog, and my characters. It was never deserved, but it was so very appreciated while it lasted.

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whalohs · 5 years

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i’m back with meta.

( and then immediately i hecked up the tags, so deleting and reposting. sorry for the spam! )

let’s look at caleb and jester’s relationship, as mainly a retrospective of where it started. i’m also going to talk about where it has gone since, and how the heck we got here. not particularly shippy unless you ship it already (in which case i hope you enjoy the ship meta), and ready to discuss anything as long as you’re respectful about it.

as always, general disclaimer: for me, it’s more interesting for me to think “[character] would do this because [actions]”, rather than “[character] would do this because [player preferences]”. i can’t claim to know the critical role cast, and i think it does a disservice to their characters if i try to bring them in like that. a weird distinction, i know, but i always think it’s important to mention! i try to distance my meta from the cast, and take the character’s actions by their own merit.

anyway.

for all we joke about how ridiculous jester is or how much caleb was ready to run from the mighty nein, it’s hard to deny these two had a really, really rough start. jester was everything caleb didn’t want in a person, and caleb was someone jester never... really had experience with.

lemme explain, first with caleb’s perspective: caleb is running from trent & the cerberus assembly. the last thing he wanted was to be noticed or seen, let alone get his name out there in any way shape or form - and yet here comes the most silly, obnoxious, ready-to-turn-the-world-upside-down tiefling he has ever met, and he met molly at the same time.

naturally, he hates it. but it runs a deeper than having to travel with someone who doesn’t give a shit about discretion when caleb is discretion personified. i think when we dislike someone, it’s because we see parts of ourselves reflected in them; not necessarily all bad, but parts we have lost, never had, or don’t want to acknowledge.

it’s important to note that while caleb and jester are very different, there are parts that are shockingly similar; caleb started as a very hopeful, bright, and confident young man at the time he entered the assembly, not unlike where jester started in their adventures ( now is a different story, and i’ll get to that later ). they are both stubborn in their ideals and put a lot of faith in the people they care about ( caleb with nott, jester with the traveler, marion, and fjord ).

i would not be surprised if caleb sees a little bit of his younger self in jester. but the conflict occurs where he sees his younger self as a very flawed, terrible individual, while jester is not... that. he simultaneously wants to protect her from becoming jaded (as anyone with experience tends to want to), while also knowing she could make very awful mistakes (like he did) if left alone.

that said! jester is the way she is because she was able to foster her positivity, her hopes, and her ideals in a way that didn’t come and bite her in the ass. so it’s not “jester is caleb pre-development”, and more “jester and caleb are two different results due to different experiences from similar individuals”. unfortunately, caleb can’t think like that with the experiences he’s had, hence all of this.

i think that it’ll make more sense from jester’s perspective: jester’s living conditions weren’t perfect by any means, but they weren’t exactly trauma central, either. she had loving, kind people in her life that allowed her to develop by encouraging what she enjoyed, as opposed to molding her a specific way. again! she was able to grow the strong parts of her personality - her hopes, her positivity, her confidence - in a way that didn’t come and bite her in the ass. she doesn’t regret anything that she did, because she has never had a reason to.

you could say that she doesn’t have enough experience to see the negative consequences of her actions, and i both agree and disagree. experience doesn’t always equate to hardships; while failure is an important part of learning, it is not the only way you learn. caleb is not necessarily more experienced because he suffered negative consequences, but because he experienced more types of consequences.

that said, she is sorely lacking in some experiences! primarily in dealing with people with different wants and opinions than her. having a loving, encouraging, but ultimately sheltered environment likely means she got to have a lot of things her way. and we see a lot of that at the start of the campaign.

so the simplest way to say is: jester has never really had someone who dislikes her for who she is. she has never sat through a level of conflict resolution her and caleb needed, and so in an attempt to do things in the way that made the most sense for her, basically got off on the worst foot.

and so, you know, this goes on for a while. start of campaign two is hilariously turbulent for the both of them. caleb makes nice because he sees the benefit of someone like jester in a party (and not much else), and jester isn’t going to treat caleb any differently than she does anyone else. hence, friction.

then the money conversation / argument / caleb-smears-mud-on-his-face-out-of-spite happens. which i think really was a bigger turning point than we originally thought it would be (because the nature of the fight wasn’t too serious), mostly because caleb took forever to warm up to the party (disclaimer: i love caleb).

it’s interesting because it’s the one of the first times we actually see... any actual conflict involving jester. most people brush jester off as the quirky weirdo at first, and doesn’t take her opinions as seriously as others. that makes sense, and jester is fine with that! but that’s what makes caleb’s reaction to jester basically saying she grew up spoiled really fascinating.

he’s furious, and rightfully so. and caleb back then was keen on making sure he didn’t attract any attention, that unless she really struck a nerve he was just gonna nod and not think about it. but as we saw -- that’s not how it happened. i think he especially felt stung because he tried to help, because she had been distressed, but all of it backfired terribly.

so they fight. they’re upset at each other. caleb smears mud on his face then walks away and i think it hits jester on the head that oh, what she said without thinking really did upset someone, when she hadn’t meant to necessarily make them uncomfortable.

jester, for the limited social experiences she has, is a very empathetic person. it doesn’t take a lot from her to understand why he would have been upset by what she said, once she cares enough to consider it.

the remainder is a gradual, but noticeable change to where we are now; while it’s outdated and my opinions on details have changed, i did write a shorter meta on caleb and jester on an earlier episode point. i think the bulk of it stands true, though, so feel free to read that and then come back!

spoilers: they’re destroying me now.

a few things i did want to add: i think a lot about how out of all of the nein, the main people who notice jester’s slowly dwindling confidence are caleb and caduceus (beau, nott, and fjord notice it too, just in a slightly different way; and yasha is.... bring ashley back 2k19). caduceus pretty much has 3 million in insight so i’ll touch on that later, but fitting caleb in here is interesting!

mostly because he likely, again, experienced that dwindling confidence in finding his place in life, just in a more drastic way than jester; he pretty much hit rock bottom at the start of the campaign! he’s definitely projecting a little, but a lot of relationships are built on people projecting parts of themselves to others; it’s the easiest way to relate to another person.

as an aside: it really is cool, and speaks to his development a ton, that caleb’s motives for helping the party have become a lot more altruistic than when i wrote the post above. he cares about them now, very, very deeply, and i have a lot of thoughts on why! this just isn’t the post for ‘em; maybe next time.

how he comforts her has changed too. before it was a lot of [ throw frumpkin at her and hope it fixes the problem ]; his attempts at bringing the party together were definitely more material in nature, compared to now.

it’s also really, really good to see jester slowly starting to see the “imperfections” in caleb ( the ones that caleb sees, anyway ), and accept them wholeheartedly. again! she is an extremely empathetic person, and once they understood each other it became a lot easier for her to actually provide the support he needed.

it’s the subtle things; less jokes at his expense, and more ridiculous things in general. sharing porn with him because she thinks he’ll like it. and, a surplus of optimism about her outlook on life that seems to affect the top row a ton.

they’re all in love with her. i can tell. that’s okay, jester has two hands and a tail ( i had to ).

so, where are we now? it’s obvious enough to say that they’re friends, good friends at that! they care about each other a lot! caleb makes the softest faces at jester and jester grins so happily at him and they really do have a good thing going.

i think the biggest change in caleb is that he trusts her enough to rely on her for things outside of her abilities. i think a lot about the conversation they had recently after talking to the scourger, and how caleb let himself be comforted by jester instead of denying her attempts completely. it speaks to the level of emotional vulnerability he is comfortable showing to the group now.

that said: i definitely consider jester to be the group baseline for caleb. liam has mentioned multiple times that out of all of the nein, jester is the one person who he doesn’t want to share his past with. which, again, given the juxtaposition in their upbringing, makes a lot of sense!

but the fact that he’s willing to be vulnerable with someone he didn’t want to be vulnerable is huge. the fact that he doesn’t see her optimism and ridiculousness as a weakness for the group, and instead looks to use them as strengths (how they use polymorph is a huge example) is very different than beginning-of-campaign caleb.

the biggest change in jester is that her worldview has expanded to understand what caleb needs, and how that might be different than what she needs. it wasn’t as huge strides for jester as it was for caleb, but i think that makes sense! a lot of jester’s development is internal, and reflects a lot about what she thinks of herself, whereas caleb’s development has been very external, and how he is beginning to view the people around him ( and allowing himself to be viewed ).

but still! it’s huge! jester has two decades of solving problems a certain way, and being told that that way was all that she needed; but her ability to listen, comfort, and provide insight in ways that others in the group can’t thanks to her unique world view really helped shaped the types of conversations she had with him.

a really, really simple way to say this is that jester started taking caleb a lot more seriously. which i think is hilarious, because you’d think that’d be more fitting for caleb’s thoughts on jester. but once she started reaching out to him to understand, the tone of their relationship changed. it seems less caleb-indulges-jester-on-nonsense and two equals who indulge each other on ridiculous nonsense, if that makes sense?

oh that said: i do attribute a lot of caleb’s relationship changes with the party to the fact that he went through a lot of external development. definitely not the place for that here, maybe i’ll come back to it some day.

well i’m back and surprising no one i wrote like 2k words on critical role so welcome back, me. i’m rusty and rambly and i may have written things here that aren’t as poignant as i wish it was, so please forgive me if anything seems off!

#critical role #jester lavorre #caleb widogast #the mighty nein #widojest #sure lets tag the ship why not #not particularly shippy though #just good ol character analysis #anyway i love them #i wrote all this in one sitting then never saved it #so we're really living life on the edge today #yolo #meta meta meta #what if i didn't suck at tagging #why is tumblr so hard

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subjecta5newtella · 4 years

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Filigree

(I promised like 3 people I’d write some happier Nalby, and I crowdsourced holiday prompts to keep me from losing my absolute and entire mind at work, so here we go!!)

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It’s not particularly that he’d wanted to go to the symphony alone on Christmas Eve. It’s just that Alby’s coworker hadn’t been able to go and had offered his tickets up, and he hadn’t had a good excuse not to take them. He didn’t have other plans. He’d been in the city for a month and a half, and hadn’t really met anyone other than his coworkers, who all had better places to be tonight. Maybe the concert will be a little less lonely than sitting at home, at any rate.

They’re surprisingly good seats, he finds out. Not that it really matters. Alby’s not averse to orchestral music, he supposes, but there can’t be that much to look at.

Except.

Except the first chair violinist takes his seat, and good god, he’s gorgeous. He’s tall, probably just a little taller than Alby, with long, blond hair tied up out of his face, and with an odd, fluid sort of grace to the way he moves, even despite a slight limp. Maybe Alby doesn’t appreciate high art enough, but he can’t help feeling like this whole thing suddenly became a much better idea. So he’s chronically single and likes attractive men. Sue him.

The concert starts, and Alby does his best not to stare. He’s doing a mostly decent job at first, just barely nodding along to some of the more upbeat movements and clapping politely at the correct intervals, but then the guy- Newt Ross, he’d checked the name in the program, although that can’t be his real name- has a solo. He steps into the spotlight, fingers poised on the strings, and everything else falls away. It’s only the music, and it’s only Newt, eyes closed, swaying slightly in place as he plays. The music is the type of beautiful that presses at an ache deep inside of you you hadn’t known you had, high and sweet and almost a little sad.

Alby’s not sure how long it goes on. Time stretches, tangled tightly between the notes, and he hopes it’ll never end, just keep existing in this breathless space. Eventually, though, it has to, silver threads replaced by applause that he’s a second late in joining, he’s been so deeply entranced.

For the last few songs, he more or less gives up trying not to stare. He doubts he’s the only one, anyway, although he kind of hopes he is.

After the show, he waits around and tries not to look like he’s waiting for the musicians to file out. He checks his phone for the texts he’s not getting, scrolls through social media that’s mostly dry because everyone’s busy with family, plays a couple rounds of a matching game that he hates but can’t bring himself to permanently delete.

Finally, Newt comes out, and Alby’s hope or fear or both that he wouldn’t be as beautiful up close is proven irrational. His hair is loose now, falling just past his shoulders, and his face is flushed a little pink from the cold. His coat collar is flipped up, and he shifts the violin case to his other hand to fix it. And, okay, there’s absolutely no way this guy is single, but Alby can at least compliment his playing.

“Newt!” he calls, doing his absolute best not to come off as stalkerish when Newt turns.

“Huh? Oh. Hi?”

“Hi. Sorry, hope this isn’t super weird, I just wanted to tell you that I loved your solo.”

Newt smiles. “Thank you. Only a little creepy, but I’m willing to forgive it.”

“That’s generous of you.”

“What can I say, I’m feeling the Christmas spirit. What’s your name?”

“Alby. Uh, Alby Grant.”

“Well, nice to meet you. Where are you headed?”

“Subway. Orange Line.”

“I’m taking the Red from there. Walk with me?” Alby must look surprised, because Newt says, “You’re shivering, and if we’re gonna talk, might as well walk as we do it.”

Alby had been shivering, but he hadn’t known it was that obvious. “I’m from a lot farther south.”

“Where?” Newt starts walking, shifting his case to his other hand so it’s not in between them.

Alby falls into step beside him. “Tiny beach town in South Carolina. Definitely doesn’t snow there. You?”

“London, originally. Are you new here, then?”

“Was it the fact that I’m slowly freezing, or the fact that I was alone at the symphony on Christmas Eve that gave it away?”

Newt laughs. “Don’t worry, you’re not the only one without grand plans. My friends are all out of town, and my sister’s staying with me, but she’s out at some party.”

Alby would be lying if he said his heart hadn’t jumped a little when Newt had failed to mention any kind of significant other. Maybe it was just an oversight, but it does seem like the kind of thing one would mention during the holidays.

“That’s rough,” Alby says, not quite sure what else to say.

Newt shrugs. “I’ve had worse Christmases. It’ll be alright.”

They fall into silence for a moment, before Alby asks, “When did you start playing the violin?”

“Started when I was ten, but for a while it was just something I did, ya know? School credit or whatever. I only got serious about it when I was sixteen and broke my leg and couldn’t do anything else.”

So that explained the limp, maybe, something that hadn’t healed quite right, but Alby’s not about to ask. Instead, he says, “Well, it seemed like it worked out. You’re incredible.”

Newt ducks his head a little, and if Alby’s quick glance isn’t mistaken, he’s gone just a little pinker, although it could just be the cold. “Thank you,”

“I’m half-tempted to come back to the next performance,” Alby says as they descend the stairs to the station, and he’s only sort of joking.

“Well, if you want to see the orchestra and help me pay my bills, go for it.”

“And if I just want to see you play?” The words are out of Alby’s mouth before he really thinks them through, catching even him off guard with their boldness.

Newt smirks, and Alby takes a second to appreciate how unfairly hot the expression is on him. “Well, if that’s all you want...”

He waits for a couple people to pass and makes his way to a side alcove, just out of the path of traffic. He sets the violin case down and opens the clasps, resting the violin on his knee to attach the shoulder rest.

Alby dodges around another few straggling passengers, still trying to process exactly what Newt is doing. “Here?”

Newt shrugs, adjusting his bow. “Plenty of people busk in the subway.”

“How many of them play in a major symphony orchestra?”

“Some of them, maybe. It’s kind of fun.”

With that, Newt straightens up, settles the violin into place under his chin, and hovers the bow just over the strings. His eyes close, and he starts to play.

What was beautiful in a concert hall is otherworldly in this near-empty subway station. It resonates differently, echoing off the tiled walls and the low ceilings, with the rumble of trains below them, though it still carries the same hints of something unspeakably sad and achingly sweet. And Alby wants to sit and listen forever, yes, but he also wants to know, wants to know what it all means, the grace and the sorrow. He wants to know Newt, if Newt will let him.

He stands and he listens, watches as Newt sways, as the few people rushing for their trains linger just a moment on the edge of this ethereal something, and then, once again, it comes to a finish and Newt opens his eyes.

When all is said and done, they both miss the trains they meant to get on. They end up stuck waiting in the space between platforms, just talking, unwilling to part until they have to, and Alby ends up running to make the last train on the Orange Line before it stops for the night. And it doesn’t matter, because when he comes home to his empty apartment and the sounds of other people’s Christmas parties drifting through the walls, he has three new texts from Newt on his phone and it’s all a little less lonely.

#i KNOW it's december 30th im a chronic procrastinator #im doing my best and it should count for something #the maze runner #tmrspoilers #nalby #tmr newt #tmr alby #ty gel for the prompt!!!

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axther · 4 years

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(1/2) Ghost Anon: May I get a bnha matchup? I’m Vicente, a 4’11” pan trans-guy, who’s 18 years old and in college for art! I adore cats, halloween, video games, & death metal! My MBTI is INFP-T! I have trouble befriending others irl because I’m MAD standoffish & have an abrasive personality but for those I‘m close to I do whatever I can to cheer em up when they’re down! I have history with martial arts (abt 5/6 years) I LOVE sparring and get a thrill from fakin people out and landin a solid hit!

fuckkkk I’m sorry this is late… I am one (1) dumbass. Also under the cut for length bc I kept on deleting it and starting over and before I knew it the first matchup was four pages long (in the end it was 9 pages long)

#1 is…Tamaki!

Okay so!!!

We all know that Tamaki freaks out easily

And let’s say there’s a meetup for young, promising students

Mirio and Neijre are thriving

But Tamaki is stuck in a corner trying to not get noticed

He’s panicking

And then he sees you from across the room

You look pissed as all hell

Crossing your arms and watching three other students brag about their exploits

He notices that you look like your gradually getting more and more annoyed

Eventually, you huff and walk away, and Tamaki realises that you’ve got something perched on your shoulder

He takes a bit of a look and sees that it’s a skeletal cat, walking back and forth and clearly agitated.

You sit on a chair at one of the semi-fancy, plastic tablecloth tables, about two feet away from Tamaki

He’s clearly ‘??’ and nervous as hell that he pissed you off

until you start talking

‘What’re you doin’?’

Tamaki’s confused as all get out

And it’s clear that he’s promptly terrified

Until you glance at him out of the corner of your eyes

And the cat is staring at him with hollow eye sockets, tilting its head

And you say ‘You look lonely.’

Tamaki flushes bright red

You noticed him???

Did he do something obvious?

Was he pissing you off?

Did lonely people piss you off?

Did he make you feel bad???

You shrug at his silence, and though he can’t see it, you’re kinda hurt

It’s not like you want to actually scare anybody (besides villains).

So imagine your surprise when he manages to pipe up

‘Wh-wh-what’s your…quirk…?’

It’s less than a whisper, but you catch it, and you look over with a raised eyebrow

‘Death.’ You look away. ‘Psychopomp. Angel of Death. Grim Reaper. Whatever you wan’ to call it.’

Tamaki baulks

He didn’t even know that quirks that severe existed

You’re kinda staring in the opposite direction and he can tell that his silence is definitely not helping

But he’s almost in awe

He’s heard of people with quirks like Wendigo, Reanimation, and Bodily Manipulation that had to be shelved away lest something happen and they use their quirks for evil

So he’s a bit confused as to why you’re allowed out and about

But he’s most curious

In fact, he’s very very curious

So he blinks up at you and takes a big gulp and closes his eyes tight

‘Th…that’s cool…’

He did it!!

Internally he’s celebrating like crazy because he managed to get it going!!

He’s got this!!

But then you just frown and look a bit angrier

So then it all comes to a stop in Tamaki’s head

And he eyes the cat, who’s nuzzling your neck

And Tamaki decides to shoot his shot

‘Who’s…the cat?’

You look back at him, clearly surprised

You figured that your quirk scared him, with how he looked ready to die himself when he said it was cool, so you’re a bit confused.

‘Custos. M’ familiar.’

Tamaki is definitely more curious now

He wasn’t sure what to ask next

But then Custos jumped from your shoulder

You two are staring at Custos, kneading Tamaki’s lap

The shoujo gods are watching over you, really

But then you look away again with a blush and a mumble of ‘I guess she likes you.’

Tamaki’s playing with her funny paws

And there’s a second where he messes with it wrong, and the paw turns sideways, and then claws just appear out of nowhere until he fixes it again

He’s talking to Custos and having a grand old time

When you get out of the chair and plop down next to Tamaki

And Tamaki’s starting to freak out again

Did it seem like he was ignoring you?

Was he being rude?

He didn’t know what you were doing when you plucked Custos out of Tamaki’s hands until you murmured ’watch this!’

Then you s t r e t c h Custos

She’s mewing happily, clearly enjoying it

But Tamaki can see Custos’ spine literally separating, like a weird accordion

You stop, and laugh when Custos bounces left and right, trying to get you to do it again

And you nudge Tamaki, and he’s in awe

’It’s like givin’ her a kitty deep massage.’

Tamaki nods mutely, a little blush on his face

Through this, you two develop a full-blown conversation

And it’s going great!

Tamaki’s genuinely surprised

But then he hears muffled squealing

And at first, he’s ’???’

But then he looks over to his right to see Neijre smothering her own cheer

And Mirio’s got a big ol’ grin and he’s giving a thumbs up

Tamaki’s ready to EXPLODE

But then you call his name

And he jumps again but looks at you this time

And you follow his original line of sight

And almost immediately, you reserve yourself again

Tamaki realises that the pissed-off demeanour was a reflex

You look at him, clearly taken off guard, and go ’Huh?’

Tamaki realises that he said it out loud, and smacks a hand to his mouth

You both look shocked

Tamaki’s sure that he’s messed up the entire thing and that you’re never going to want to talk to him again

But then you give a bit of a sad smile before nodding

’Yeah, I guess.’

Tamaki’s heart breaks at the tone of your voice

He feels a weight in his stomach

Custos begins rubbing herself across your face and purring, trying to comfort you

And before Tamaki’s anxiety can catch up, he’s got his phone out and has yours so you two can exchange numbers

He doesn’t have time to think over it or regret it before Fat Gum shows up for him so he and a couple of other students can train together

And a different hero, with spikes and hair that hung in their face, shows up for you with several other goth-themed students in tow

It’s later that night that he thinks back to it all, and he’s covering his face, bright red, and rolling left and right.

Then, like a death bell, his phone goes off

He stops rolling and just stares at the contact ’Vincente + Custos’

And he’s shaking and hyping himself up and nearly drops his phone three times and he’s near tears

But he answers with a shaky ’H-Hello?’

And he hears Custos mewing a bit

And then you

’Hey. Tamaki, right? From the Elites Meetup?’

Tamaki takes a deep as fuck breath before speaking again

’Yes?’

Yeah, it sounds like a question, but he’s nervous!!

And he hears a sigh of relief

’Cool! This is, uh, V. Vincente.’

There’s another moment of silence until you speak up again

’But I can be whoever you want?’

This, too, is a question, but Tamaki doesn’t worry about that

He hears someone’s vaguely cheering you on (it sounded like a sixteen-year-old, maybe?)

But his face erupts in red

’I-Well, that’s…I…’

Tamaki can’t really respond

He’s too busy thinking ’?????!??!??! He’s into me?!??!??!’

You kinda sigh, and then say ’Sorry, that was kinda…’

And Tamaki starts stammering more over the phone

It was a bit hard to decipher, but it was something along the line of ’it’s okay’ and ’are you free’

(yes, you made sure you were definitely free.)

#2 is…Bakugou!

We know this mf does not do anything half-assed

So when you two are paired together for sparring

He’s expecting you to have a quirk like Tokoyami’s, where light and darkness are important factors

So he goes blazing in, expecting the light from his explosions to be too much

But you’re just standing there, the fuckin’ cat on your shoulder and looking unbothered!

It’s pissing him off!

But then he feels something grab onto his foot

And he looks down

And he doesn’t know how to describe it

But it looks like a mix of a big, ripped out fetus and a malnourished child with huge, empty eyesockets and wrinkly, paper white skin and arms that didn’t fit its body

(look up the messengers from Bloodborne, it’ll make more sense)

And it’s quietly groaning while holding onto his ankle

And Bakugou tries ripping it off of him

But then another appears

And more and more until there’s a whole crowd around him

’What the fuck is this?’ He can’t get them off, because, with every one that he shoots off, three takes its place

And then, at once, they all start dragging him down

’Hey! You goth fuck! What the fuck are you doing?!’

Yet the entire time, you’re unbothered

And he’s trying to wade out of the tide that pulls him in

And it’s consuming him whole

The ground isn’t the limit anymore, he realises, and he starts panicking

He’s blasting left and right

But then he lets out one final yell, and he’s gone

No one knows where

People have stopped to look, and your teacher gives you a stern look.

‘Bring him back, V.’

You only glance his way for a moment before, a couple of yards behind you, Bakugou is spat out

He’s panting and sweating and looks like he saw hell itself

You turn your head slightly to look at him, not even bother to uncross your arms.

And when he looks at you he can only keep eye contact for a moment before lowering his head

Very very quickly word goes around school

That the dark horse V took down the rowdy rude Bakugou that won the Sports Festival

Bakugou has rarely felt so humiliated

So he approaches you later that day demanding a rematch

He’s gotten a better grasp of what your quirk is, so he’s certain he can take you on

But all you do is shrug.

This! Pisses! Bakugou! Off!!

‘Then no quirks, fucker. You and me and nothing else.’

Again, you shrug, and the cat on your shoulder hops of and perches on a nearby open window

Again, Bakugou is sure that he can take you on

You don’t look buff, nor scrawny. You look…moderate?

Certainly like you wouldn’t blow away in the wind, but that you were more of a cuddler than a fighter

So when he goes full offensive, he sees you start to lift your right leg and he’s all over it

He’s thinking ‘dumbass!’ and goes to grab your leg when you switch in mid-air and clock him over the neck with your knee

You let him get back up

But the rest of the fight he’s getting no mercy

And he’s completely taken off guard

By the end of it

He’s beaten and bruised

Though you’re only a bit better off yourself

He’s pretty sure that some students watched in the middle of it but left near the end

But either way, he’s been lowkey humbled

He’d never admit it, of course

But he now knows that he can’t underestimate you anymore

When he takes a second too long to get up, you offer a hand

And he nearly knocks it away when he looks up at you

And into your eyes

And he realises that it’s you putting yourself out there

You never really talked to anybody, at all

So he takes it

‘It’s not me being nice’, he tells himself.

It’s him just taking what is offered

And he stands up and he’s taller than you

And when he looks down he notices that hey

You’re kinda cute

So when the silence consumes you both he takes a hand to the back of his head and shoves a hand into his pockets

‘I, uh…you’re better than I fuckin’ thought. You wanna…eat out sometime?’

Your face softens, ever so slightly, and if he squints hard enough he sees you smiling

(though he would never admit it, he was whipped from there on out.)

#3 is…Midoriya!

When you first meet him he’s absolutely enamoured with your quirk

It started with Custos

And then when you started explaining the basics of your quirk

He’s completely fanboying

‘Oh my gosh, I didn’t know that quirks could have capabilities like that! To think that you can call on the armies of the dead…that’s incredible! Could I ask more?’

He’s a bit like Tamaki, but on a chiller level

He ends up filling roughly half a notebook on you over the course of the train ride that you two met on

And he realises that he probably hasn’t even scratched the surface of it

So he demands (politely) that you guys exchange numbers

You mention offhand that you don’t have too many friends because of how stand-off-ish you act

And midoriya rises to the occasion!

‘I’ll be your friend! Don’t worry! Actually, I have a voucher for some good katsudon at a stand down the road from my house, and it’s the next stop, would you want to come? Not that you have to! It’s just that I really wanna solidify our new friendship, and-’

‘Sure. I’ve got nothin’ better to do.’

Midoriya is ready to fly out of his seat with how happy he is!!

He’s still not terribly used to having a ton of friends, so the fact that he’s expanding his circle, even more, makes him super happy!

You two go to the katsudon stand and Midoriya’s semi-swarmed by a group of old ladies that his mom takes yoga classes with

And they’re pinching your cheeks with a feel of ‘Oh!! Izuku-Kun is this your friend! Is he your boyfriend? Oh, you two look very cute together! Don’t forget to eat well, Izuku’s friend! Please keep him safe and well!’

And to be honest, Midoriya’s not expecting you to take it all too well

He’s ready to shoo them away

When you just give a really soft, sparkly, anime shoujo smile and take their hand

‘I will, ma’am. You ca’ count on me.’

And Midoriya kinda stares in awe for a moment before one of the shrewder ladies nudges him in the side with a 😏

He’s like ‘!!! I-I-I-I-I-I just met him today! It’s not like that!’

And he’s flailing his arms and bright red and the lady is like ‘Uh-huh, sure, that’s what I said about my fourth husband’

Either way, the old ladies leave with a call for Midoriya to ask his mother to bring her soba recipe to yoga next Thursday

And he accepts while trying to drag you away from them because the last thing he needs is for the entire neighbourhood to try and be his wingman

So he’s talking with you about your quirk while eating and you two eventually branch of about anything and everything

And by the time it’s dark Midoriya feels like he’s known you his entire life

You decide to head out before it gets any darker and he waves as you leave

He’s got a blush on his face and a lopsided grin

Because you know what!!

You’re fuckin cute!! And smart, and funny, but you knew when to hold your tongue, and you’ve got a really cool cat, and he thinks that you’re really sweet, and…

And almost immediately, once you’re out of earshot, the chef leans over

“Your boyfriend, huh?’

‘Aughhhh!’

@v0mpy

#matchup #matchups #sailor v

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spideyy-girl · 5 years

Text

Secret Crush ~ Enoch O’Connor (w/Platonic!Jake Portman)

Request: was requested on my old blog, but I’ve lost the original ask, so if you’re the person who asked for this and wants to be tagged for it, please dm me :)

Summary: Jacob Portman has been your best friend for as long as you can remember, but sometimes you regret telling him some things, like your secret crush on a mysterious man you’ve known. But surely Jake had all good intentions...

Warnings: none I don’t think, jake being annoying?

Word Count: 2433 (6.7 pages)

Date: January 8th, 2019 (HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!)

A/N: ok so I, of course, have an excuse oof. I did post this on the day that I was supposed, BUT my dumbass accidentally posted it on my original blog, and when I saw it I reacted immediately and deleted it completely, instead of copying it and pasting it on the right account. Also, it’s been hard to try and fix this up, as I’ve been going through some tough stuff in my personal life. SO once again ], I’m so sorry for the (very) late update, but either way I hope you enjoy it! I love you all so much and thank you for the support. This is really long sorry you probably didn’t even read this but if you did kudos to you my friend that’s patience lmao. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this and as always HAPPY READING!!

~Ciara xo | MEGA MASTERLIST | SEND REQUESTS |

Also, requests and taglists are still open, I will be posting about requests very soon so be on the lookout!

I love my bestest friend, Jake, but sometimes he just can’t shut his goddamn mouth. Especially about my super duper secret, I thought I could trust him. Well, I learned the hard way.

Basically, you can never trust a Portman.

I realize this while I watch silently and embarrassed at Jake making kissy noises while squishing his cheeks together and squinching his eyes shut. It was definitely quite the sight to see.

“Oh my, Enoch. I LOVE YOU SOOOOO MUCH MWAH MWAH MWAHHHH,” he screamed, continuing his actions. I roll my eyes, my cheeks going red, as I slapped his chest. He let out a small groan, but it didn’t stop him.

“The feeling’s not mutual, Portman,” Enoch says at the doorway, his voice making me jump and my heart stops at the same time. He walked in to get some supplies for his ‘dolls’ and Jake calls them. I slapped Jake upright the head once I got control of myself. He let out a small yell, reaching up to massage his head. I really hope Enoch did not hear anything from our earlier conversation, or this ‘secret crush’ of mine wouldn’t be much of a secret anymore.

As he finished collecting his stuff, doing so as quickly as possible, he practically ran back to the door, stopping and the doorframe to glance in one more time. He low-key glared at Jake, which was easily returned, and then his eyes shifted over to settle on mine. I was already looking at him, partially for curiosity, but also because, well, look at him. He barely returned my glance for half a second before once again rushing out the room.

I sighed as I watched him depart, my shoulders slumping and my head falling, eyes focused on my feet, which were still moving nervously. For almost as long as I’ve known Enoch, he’s done this. For some reason, he just seems to dislike me very much, with not much reasoning why. I’ve thought of a few things, maybe it’s because I’m good friends with the guy he loathes. Maybe it’s because my peculiarity developed later than usual. Maybe because I came here later, with Jake.

“Why the long face? I know I’m happy with that twat being out of the room,” Jake said, putting a hand on my shoulder and trying to joke around like he usually does when he wants to put a smile on my face when I’m sad. I shrugged.

“What did I do?” I asked innocently, looking up at him, tears threatening to come out of my eyes and fall down my cheeks. He looked sad at my new expression and confused with what I just said.

“What’re you talking about? Did to who?” He asked, pulling me into a tight hug. Although he can be a pain sometimes, Jake always knew how to cheer me up and comfort me when I’m down. I sniffled, cuddling closer to him.

“Who else, dipshit. Enoch.” I say sarcastically, slightly laughing. Jake pulls me out from his chest, grabbing my arms softly and making me look at him. I’ve never seen the boy more serious than he did now. It was truly a shock to me since I’ve known him pretty much all my life.

“Are you actually blind?” He said, shaking me slightly. “He definitely does not hate you, Y/N. And besides, you don’t need his opinion. It is unworthy to a queen like you.” I smiled softly, saying a quiet thank you.

“But then, if he doesn’t hate me, then why will he never look at me? Why does he never want to talk to me? Every time I try to approach him, he just runs off in the opposite dire- oh wait.” I stop myself mid-sentence, the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. He doesn’t hate me, not at all. Jake was right, I really can be completely oblivious at times I need my mind most.

“About damn time,” he sighed, rolling his eyes, though as much as he was trying to conceal it, you could see the smile pushing at his lips. I smiled back, my mood changes to happiness. I giggled and jumped in my spot, gasping.

“Do you really think so, Jakey?” I ask him, using my childhood nickname for him. He laughed at the old memory and my silliness.

“Yes, I know so. Besides, when have I ever been wrong?” He says with a cheeky smile. I rolled my eyes.

“I can name multiple occasions,” I snapped back playfully, Jake putting a hand over his heart, gaining a look of false hurt. Then he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Well I’m sorry that I’m human and make mistakes sometimes, Little Miss Perfect,” he replied. I rolled my eyes. “Now, oh God, I can’t believe I’m saying this. Go get your man, or whatever.” He says, waving me off. I smile, giving him one last bear hug.

“Thank you, Jake! Love you!” I yell as I rush down the hallway, down the stairs.

Dinner had just ended, and it was time for our nightly movies. Well, really, it was just a display of Horace’s dreams, but it was still my favourite time of the day. There was just something very comforting about it.

I walked over to the couch Jake was sitting on with Emma, an empty spot where I usually sit was open as per usual. As I go to sit down, Jake puts his feet up on my spot. I give him a confused look.

“You didn’t do it yet, did you?” He asked, giving me the look. I roll my eyes, trying to move his feet.

“Don’t you worry about it. Tomorrow will be a better day, anyways,” I excuse, giving up on my attempts at trying to unblock my spot. I go to sit on the floor, but once again, my spot was taken up by another pair of feet, this time a woman’s ones. Emma.

“Y/N, you know you have to do it at one point. Knowing Enoch for as long as I have, I know he definitely won’t make the first move, he’ll just keep denying it,” she encourages. “Please, this will benefit both of you.”

I look at her in shock. How did she know about my... situation? Then I turned to Jake, a mixed look of disappointment and embarrassment shown on my face.

“Did you tell her?” I asked. He put his hands up in surrender, quickly shutting down the accusation.

“No! Y/N, I swear it! She’s just really good at this type of stuff. I wouldn’t do that, I promise!” He said quickly, trying to defend himself. I looked even more confused now, looking over at my other friend. She shrugged, smiling slightly.

“It’s true. I can read you like a book. It’s so obvious, for the both of you, really,” she said smartly. “And don’t think that everyone else in here except his doesn’t already know too. You guys are so oblivious.” She rolled her eyes as we giggles and I pushed her lightly, telling her to shut up. Soon, Horace put on his glass and images started to project onto the wall ahead. My friends pushed at me, in the direction of the other couch across the carpet where all the younger children were sitting. And on that couch, none other than Enoch O’Connor himself.

“Go on, Y/N! He really doesn’t have a choice anyway.” Jake said, pushing me more. Emma nodded.

“Yeah, we all know if he tries to leave, The Bird will get pissed. Like last time.” She said, the group of teen taking a moment to shudder at the memory. I straightened up my back and lifted my chin up high, trying to gain confidence.

“You’re right. I guess it’s now or never.” I said. I took a deep breath and tried to walk behind the couch so Enoch wouldn’t expect me, not giving him a chance to run. I plopped down into the seat next to him, sort of scaring him, as it looks. “Hey, Enoch. It’s been a while since we talked.” I tried starting off, only for him to look me over once before turning back to the ‘movie’. I sighed, how did I think this was going to be a good idea?! “Please, can’t you at least look at me? We seriously need to talk.”

“Maybe later, don’t you see movie night is going on? It would only be disrespectful to interrupt,” he said, turning back at me and talking to me. Wait, he actually talked to me. After months, he really said words that were aimed at my direction. The sensation filling me up with happiness, boosting my determination. “Besides, why did you decide you wanted to sit here? Whatever happened to sitting with Jake and Emma? Why don’t you go back there?” He looked back when he finished, my sky high ego suddenly took a crash landing. Maybe I was wrong about all this, maybe I should just leave. He obviously doesn’t want me around.

‘No, Y/N. You can’t chicken out now. You’re already here, you’ve already come so far,’ my self-conscious tells me. “Well maybe it’s because I wanted to change things up a bit, and sit with you, because you’re cool and all,” I said, sort of rambling on and glancing back at Emma and Jake’s couch, where, thankfully, Olive has taken my place. The three of them paying attention to the dreams about clothing going on right now. “And it also looks like I’ve been replaced, so even if you want me to go, I can’t. Looks like we’re stuck together.” I shrugged my shoulders innocently, nodding over to the trio. Enoch looked slightly shocked at first, but sighed, turning his attention back to me. Wow, I’ve finally gotten his full attention. His eyes look so much prettier up close, pouring into my own.

“That’s fine, I guess.” He said, trying to be cool about it. “But, what was the real reason you came here. I know you never want to leave Jake’s side. You’re like his little puppy.” He added. And that’s when, once again, the realization hit me like a ton of bricks.

“Ohhhh, I get it now. You’re jealous!” I said, smiling at him. He looked astounded, trying to pretend he had no idea what you were talking about.

“Jealous? Of what? Jake? Please, why would I be jealous of an idiot like him? Should I be?” He kept asking questions. I continue to laugh as quietly as possible, trying not to disrupt. I felt a giant wave of relief wash over me. This had to mean something, and if it’s what I hope, this could be really good.

“Trust me, you have absolutely nothing to worry about when it comes to Jake and I’s relationship. Just friends... always will be.” I say, leaning back against the couch, taking a glance at the wall that was having Horace's dreams projected onto it. Of course, another one of him visiting his beloved tailor for a snazzy new suit. After smiling fondly at the dream, I turn back to Enoch. I guess you could call him my dream.

“Oh, o-okay” he stuttered out, breaking eye contact. I roll my own eyes, turning his face to look back at mine. I smiled and, surprisingly, he smiled back.

“You know, you had me worried for a long time, I always thought you hated me, and it sucked considering how much I liked you,” I said genuinely, still looking him in the eye, before realizing what I really said. I quickly let go of his face and my eyes went down to look at my playing fingers. “I mean, that is if you do like me. You don’t have to, I’ll understand. God, I just completely missed the message didn’t I? I always mess up-” I continued to ramble, trying to defend myself before something stopped me.

That something, a pair of slightly chapped, but still soft, pair of lips brought onto my own, one hand on my cheek, another on my waist.

Enoch motherfucking O’Connor you sly little shit.

I quickly responded, my hands flying to the back of his neck, playing with little hairs on the back of it. I smile into the kiss. It was slow and soft, and sadly, short-lived.

There was a sound of someone clearing their throat just behind us. We shot apart, looking at the origin of the noise, seeing Miss Peregrine standing with her arms crossed firmly against her chest, an eyebrow raised, and a stiff posture, but you could still see the slight smile she’s trying to hide. My face and neck go a deep crimson red, turning around to see everyone looking at us now, some in awe, others in disgust. Even Horace stopped his dream to watch the drama unroll, since we know he kills for a good love story.

I look over at the couch on the other side of the room to see Jake, Emma, and Olive all smirking evilly at us, giggling like fourth-grade girls. Jake fakes applause, Emma makes kissy faces, and Olive giving us hand hearts. I shake my head, taking a glance at Enoch, who was already looking at me. He smiles.

“I sure hope there are no shenanigans going on over there, Miss Peregrine’s voice rang out loud. Our heads shot up to her, shaking our heads with muttered ‘no’s and ‘of course not’s. She nodded for head once, before smiling softly and winking at us, before going hard again. “I mean it. Now, let’s go on with the show, shall we?” She said, and all the children’s eyes focused back and the movie started playing again.

“So, just wanted to make this clear, you would want to go on a date with me, yes?” Enoch asked, whispering into my ear. I laughed silently, before turning over and giving him a sneaky kiss on the cheek, making sure no one saw this time.

“Yes, of course,” I whispered back. We grinned at each other before I cuddled into his side, him acting reluctantly but soon gave in. After a bit, I made a realization.“To think, this is all Jake’s fault, he basically forced me here to come to talk to you,” I said, laughing.

“I can’t believe Portman did something right in his life,” Enoch said in fake shock.

_______

I didn’t know how to end this whoops I’m trash sooooory haha

#miss peregrines home for peculiar children #mphfpc #enoch o'connor x reader #jake portman x reader #platonic #platonic!jake portman x reader #platonic!jake portman #Enoch o'connor #jacob portman #imagine #request #lunalife101

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softmakoharus · 5 years

Text

makoharu bedtime story - makoto’s phone

imagine haru and makoto in bed about to sleep. h: did you ever figure out what was wrong with your phone? m: mm, there isn't enough space left for the update. h: because you have too much junk. m: i don't! h: all those games. m: it's only a few! i think i have too many pictures. h: at least that will be easy to fix. just delete some of them. m: ... h: makoto. m: i need them! h: every single picture on your phone is important? m: probably! h: give it to me. m: well, ok. but don't delete anything yet! makoto grabs his phone and opens the pictures folder. h: this can't be right. m: hm? h: it says you have 12,000 pictures. m: *laughs nervously* h: and over 100 of those are cats. m: well, that folder is just tokyo cats... h: they're separated by region? m: you should be proud of how organized i am! h: i am. shocked, really. wait, you have a folder called r18 haru.

m: *blushes* y-yeah... h: why would you name it that? what if you lose your phone? m: you need a code to unlock it, though, remember? h: what is it, 1-2-3-4? m: eh, maybe i should change it. h: wha-- makoto! m: i'm kidding, i'm kidding. h: oh, you told me before. the code is my birthday. m: right. h: let's see what you have in here. m: they're all worth keeping. h: you really need my ass from every angle? m: *laughs* obviously. h: you have too many of my face. m: it's beautiful! h: this is so embarrassing... m: it's not like i took them secretly! look, you sent me those. h: i know... wait, what's that one? and that one? m: *laughs* you were a little tipsy the night you sent them. it was before we lived together. h: i... don't remember. what body part is that? m: hmm... elbow? h: can i delete these? just these four. they're too much. m: of course! want to see one of my favorites? h: probably not. pervert. m: *laughs* i'm not! give it here. makoto scrolls to a picture of them lying in bed smiling at each other, with haru's hand cupping makoto's cheek. h: *smiles* our first time. m: you can tell? h: you got a haircut that morning and were afraid it was too short. m: that's right! i can see it now in this picture. did it look bad? h: kind of. m: haru! you said it was fine! h: i didn't want you to overthink it. m: this picture's ruined now! h: *laughs* stop being so dramatic. m: look at my bangs! i look like sousuke. h: please... please don't say that... m: i should delete it. h: do you really think i was focused on what your hair looked like? m: *smiles* well, no... probably not. h: idiot... all i cared about was how much we loved each other. m: *smiles* me too. h: and your naked body. m: *laughs* so even if i were bald...? h: i don't love you that much. m: *laughs* haru! h: i'm kidding. m: *kisses haru's forehead* i know. can we look at your phone now? h: oh, well... m: have something to hide? *smiles* h: *scoffs* no, here. m: ah, see! you have dirty pictures of me, too. h: right, but i didn't name the folder "naked pictures of my husband that i masturbate to." m: i didn't make it that obvious! h: so you admit you use the pictures for that? m: *laughs* come on, haru. h: well? m: shut up. you know i do. i mean, of course. sometimes. h: pervert. m: we're married!! h: *laughs* turn it off, let's go to sleep. m: i'm not done looking! h: you're just going to get embarrassed. m: *giggles* the pictures are embarrassing but... it makes me happy you save them. h: *blushes* of course i do. it would be a waste not to. m: you think i look good, hm? h: i'm just a good photographer. m: *laughs* sure, sure. can i look at your other pictures? h: i don't mind. m: oh! ran and ren's swimming competition! h: look at this one, how proud you are of them. m: i still can't believe they got so tall. h: your poor mom. m: at least in this one, you're there to balance it out a little. h: i'm not that short! m: just... comparatively. h: whatever. m: *smiles* haru... you take screenshots of our messages? h: *blushes* sometimes you say cute things. m: there are so many of me sleeping. h: you sleep a lot. m: our wedding, vacations... even some cats. h: to send to you... m: you have more pictures than i was expecting. h: sorry, i guess i was being too hard on you. m: it's nice having them to easily look back at. h: mm. m: like when i miss my family, or you. h: me? we're not apart that much. m: well, sometimes you get up in the morning without me. h: *laughs* so you look at pictures of us? m: it heals my lonely heart to remember the good times we've had together. h: *laughs* shut up. m: *laughs* i miss you so much, haru-chan! h: fine then, i'll wake you tomorrow. how's 5:00? m: in the morning?! that's too early! h: *smiles* ok... 9:00? m: i can manage that. h: let's go to sleep. m: mm. h: oh, but your phone is still a problem. m: hmm... well... i really should delete some files. i think the largest one i have is our wedding video. h: get rid of it. m: i can't delete our marriage!! h: you're being overly dramatic again. m: but haru~ h: it's uploaded to our private account. you can click the link to watch it. m: but what if i can't connect to the internet? h: like because of bad reception? m: or the apocalypse. h: *laughs* i promise that won't happen. m: fine... there, it's deleted. h: how do you feel? m: like we're still very much married. h: *smiles* good. we very much are. m: ok, now we can sleep. h: wait, should i have taken a photo of you deleting the video? is that a memory you'd like to keep forever? m: *laughs* shut up. h: and if i don't? m: i know how to make you. makoto smiles and leans forward. he and haru always share a quick kiss before bed, but this time makoto keeps his lips there a little longer. haru starts to laugh at the unexpected kiss, making makoto laugh, too. h: oi, do it properly or i'll delete all your pictures while you sleep. laughing, makoto gives haru a few quick kisses. h: are you finally done? m: i'll save the rest for the morning. h: ah, even more to look forward to tomorrow. m: what else is there? h: *blushes* just... you. m: *smiles* haru... h: goodnight! m: *laughs* goodnight, haru-chan. original tweet here

#free!#makoharu #kelly's makoharu bedtime stories #my post #have i mentioned #how much #i love makoharu #bc it's a lot #!!!!!!!!

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thelastblueheart · 5 years

Text

I love you like rlb

THIS IS NOT MINE!!! This was originally posted by tolieawake but has since been deleted. I was able to get my hands on it and have shared it since it is a fandom classic. Please credit them as the writer!

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I love you like rlb has become a well-known, accepted and valuable component of American vernacular. The meaning of the letters ‘rlb’ is unknown, but is uniformly considered to be a statement of a great romantic love, commitment and sacrifice.

In which Tony goes insane trying to figure out why that phrase affects the Cap so much, Bucky teases the press, and Steve and Bucky love each other like rlb.

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I love you like rlb The first time he saw it, Steve stopped dead in his tracks and stared. Tony, who was walking and talking and gesticulating wildly all at the same time (the way that Tony does), didn't notice at first. When he did, he frowned, spun on his heel and headed back to where Steve was standing. “You okay, Cap?” he asked, tugging his sunglasses just far enough down his nose that he could peer at Steve over them. “Fine,” Steve mumbled, but he couldn't quite tear his eyes away. He was staring at the large glass window of the shop beside him or, rather, he was staring through the window at the brightly coloured t-shirt hanging on the mannequin. It was a vivid shade of blue, with yellow swirls crossing it, and white text proudly displayed across the chest. I love you like rlb it proclaimed proudly. “What?” Tony asked, “you never seen that saying before?” Steve swallowed, but didn't answer. Behind the mannequin was a rack of t-shirts, in various colours and patterns, all proclaiming the same thing – I love you like rlb. “I -” Steve started, before stopping to clear his throat. “Do you know what it means?” he asked. “Uh, it's just a saying, Cap,” Tony replied. “You know, like LOL or Got Milk? Roses are red. A prominent part of our popular culture that people use without really thinking about it.” He shrugged. “I don't think anyone knows where it comes from, or what the 'rlb' means – but everyone just takes it to mean, you know, like a declaration of love or something. Lots of love. Lots and lots of love.” He frowned. “I gave Pepper an I love you like rlb bracelet once. Real fancy, solid gold, she wears it occasionally.” He paused his rapid-fire rambling long enough to stare at Steve. “You sure you okay, Cap? 'Cos you look like you seen a ghost or something.” Tony paused. “You haven't seen a ghost, have you?” “No, no, it's just...” Steve let his voice trail off, hands tilted out to the side as he shrugged helplessly. How could he possibly explain it. “I don't know if it's related,” he said, “but some of the guys used to say that, during the war.” “Huh,” Tony said. He turned to look in the window at the t-shirts. “I mean, I know the saying's been around for a long time. One of those things that no-one is quite sure where it started or who said it first.” “Dernier,” Steve muttered. “What?” Shaking his head, Steve took a step away from the display, visibly pulling himself together. “Nothing,” he said. Shoving his hands into his pockets (to stop the shaking he wouldn't admit to), he turned and headed back down the street. “Don't we have somewhere to be?” he asked. - “JARVIS,” Steve said, standing in the middle of his floor of Avengers Tower (because Tony was ridiculous like that about giving them all things), “can you do some research for me, please?” “Certainly, Captain Rogers,” JARVIS replied smoothly. “What would you like me to research?” “I... I saw something today,” Steve said, “while I was out with Tony. He said that it was just a common saying, but...” letting his voice trail off he sighed, scrubbing one hand through his hair. “Sorry, I'm not explaining this right.” “Perhaps you could start with the saying?” JARVIS suggested. “Right, yes, of course.” Taking a deep breath, Steve forced the words – words he'd thought he'd never hear again, through his lips. “I love you like rlb,” he said. His voice cracked and he cleared his throat. There was a stinging in the backs of his eyes, but he resolutely ignored it. “That is a common saying,” JARVIS informed him with a thoughtful hum. “What is it that you would like to know about it?” “Does anyone know where it comes from?” Steve asked. “Tony said no, but, well, I thought maybe it's just not well-known? Or, does anyone know when it started? What it means?” “One moment, please,” JARVIS requested, before making another humming sound. Steve knew it was the sound JARVIS made to let him know he was thinking – or rather, running searches and collating information. Stumbling backwards, Steve let himself fall down onto his couch, grabbing the nearest cushion and almost ripping it apart as he held it tightly, hands clenching in the fabric. “While there does not appear to be any documented origin for the saying,” JARVIS said calmly, his smoothly modulated voice helping to calm Steve, “it is generally attributed as a saying which emerged among American troops during World War II. Returning soldiers brought the saying back to American soil with them. This origin in the War leant a certain romantic slant to the saying, which has persisted to this day. “Interestingly, french troops also carried the saying home to France after the war, which suggests that it was well-known enough that it transferred between Allied troops. Or was known to the resistance. It is also used fairly extensively in all Allied countries, but most prominently in America. “In 1951, it made its first appearance on merchandising – as a small engraving on pendants, which were sold by the Goldman Jewelry company. Stark Industries was involved in the design of the pendants.” Steve sucked a sharp breath in. “Since then,” JARVIS continued, “the phrase has appeared on various items of merchandise continually through the years; although the merchandise itself has changed, the phrase has never fallen out of use. It has been accepted as part of the current American and French vernacular, and appears in numerous romantic comedies, romance novels, and cards, as well as on items of clothing, jewelry, plaques and also tattoos. “The meaning of the letters 'rlb' is unknown, but is uniformly considered to be a statement of a great romantic love, commitment and sacrifice.” Pushing his fist against his mouth, Steve bit at his knuckles, trying to choke down the sob rising in his throat. “In the 1980s,” JARVIS continued, “the phrase was picked up by a number of gay rights campaigners and has since been used proudly by the community. However, evidence suggests that even before that time, and certainly since, it has been used as a phrase to express love between partners, without reference to their sexual orientation. “As there has never been a documented point of origin for the phrase, companies have been able to create merchandise freely, and therefore, at this current time, there is a proliferation of merchandising available. “Despite its unknown origins, and the lack of clarity around its exact meaning, I love you like rlb has become a well-known, accepted and valuable component of American vernacular. I am sorry that I am unable to provide you with the exact meaning of the letters rlb or of a more precise origin.” Sucking in a deep breath, Steve leant back against the couch, blinking rapidly. “It's okay,” he said, ignoring the way his voice cracked once more. “Thanks, JARVIS.” “You are welcome, Captain. If I may, you appear to be experiencing some distress. Would you like me to alert Mr Stark? Or perhaps one of the other inhabitants of the Tower? Miss Potts is currently upstairs and has finished work for the day.” “No,” Steve said, shaking his head. “No, I'm fine. I'll be fine. I just -” Getting up, he stumbled towards his bedroom, shaking lightly and half-tripping over his feet. JARVIS made a concerned sound before falling silent. - The next day, Steve pulled out some jeans, a baseball cap, hoodie and sunglasses, and braved the craziness of 21st century shopping in order to buy a few things. The watch with the engraving on the back went on his wrist. The sweatpants and t-shirt were shoved into a bag, to become his sleeping clothes. The fake dog-tags – well, he got them to add one with a simple string of numbers on it (32557) – and then slung them around his neck, letting them fall down beside his own, real, dog-tags. It wasn't much, wasn't nearly enough, but somehow, it made him feel better. - The fight with the Winter Soldier was nothing like anything Steve had encountered so far in this new century. The Soldier fought hard and fast and with an edge to his movements, despite the precision and grace and obvious training, that made Steve think of back alleys in Brooklyn. His team were yelling on the comm, Hawkeye hissing because neither Steve nor the Soldier would stand still long enough for him to safely take a shot. Iron Man was circling overhead, the Hulk standing nearby and looking ready to smash given half a chance. Widow was racing towards their position, ready to enter the fray. Thor cheered them both on as brave warriors. Then the Soldier grabbed at Steve, and somehow, during the fight, his helmet had been knocked off and the top of his uniform torn just enough that the Soldier's fingers closed over the chain around his neck, tugging and twisting. Steve ducked and rolled to prevent strangulation, even as he snapped his arm out, desperate to grab his dog-tags back. The Soldier froze, gaze fixated on the tags dangling from his hand, eyes widening and punching the breath from Steve's lungs even as his brain scrabbled to find a reason for his reaction. “Cap?” Hawkeye called. “I have a shot.” “Wait,” Steve said. He glanced down at the tags, noticing that the Soldier had grabbed his fake ones, and his eyes were fixed on that phrase. The saying. I love you like rlb Slowly, the Soldier raised his eyes to Steve's. “What?” he asked. His voice was muffled beneath his mask, and Steve found himself stepping forward, reaching out to gently remove the mask. His heart was pounding in his chest and he lost his breath as soon as the mask came away. There were tears in his eyes (he ignored them), and his heart was pounding (faster than he ever remembered it being since the serum). “Bucky,” he whispered. Slowly Bucky (because those were Bucky's eyes, even as they struggled against confusion and the blank stare of the Soldier) formed the words. “I love you like rlb,” he said. - “I'm just saying,” Tony said, “it's a little strange. First, Cap freaks out about the saying when he sees it on some t-shirts, and now the Winter Soldier – the Winter Soldier! - uses it to somehow break the insane amounts of brainwashing he was under.” Clint shrugged. “They say it originated in the war somewhere,” he said. “Maybe Cap was there when it first started.” “And the Soldier?” Tony asked. “We were.” The team turned to see Steve step into the room. His hair was still wet from his shower, and his eyes were suspiciously red and bright. There was a cautious hope in his eyes that made them realise just how withdrawn he'd been. Steve nodded towards the observation window they were all arrayed in front of. On the other side, the Winter Soldier sat at a table, staring down at the dog-tags still clutched in his fist. His hair hung over his face, so they couldn't see it clearly, but he'd been suspiciously quiet and compliant since he had been taken into custody. “We?” Bruce asked, eyes darting over Steve, assessing him. Steve gave him a tight smile. “We,” he repeated. He nodded towards the Soldier. “His name is James Buchanan Barnes. He's my best friend. He -” Steve cut himself off, taking a breath and swallowing. Then he shrugged. “We were there the first time Dernier said it – I don't think he meant for us to hear, but we did.” His gaze turned un-focused, looking off somewhere they couldn't see. - “Are you insane?” Dum Dum hissed, staring at Dernier through the rain. He scowled. “You know what you're risking.” Dernier shrugged, glancing over his own shoulder at where Gabe was sitting under the flap of their tent. “I know,” he agreed. “And I wouldn't risk it for just anything, but I love him like rlb.” “Rlb?” Bucky asked, stepping up beside Steve and frowning through the rain. “What are they talking about?” Steve shrugged, shaking his head. “I'm not sure,” he said, brow furrowed. - Shoving his meager supplies into a pack, Steve slung it up onto his shoulder, turning to face his men. “I don't expect you to follow me,” he said, “but I do ask that you don't try to stop me.” “What's going on?” Falsworth asked, stepping into the tent and glancing around at them. “What do you think?” Morita asked, “we got another rlb situation.” Steve blinked. “What?” he asked, before shaking his head. “Never mind. The rendezvous is in two hours, north-east from here. Get to the pick-up point and -” “No offense, Cap,” Falsworth interrupted, “but we're not going to the rendezvous.” “No chance,” Dum Dum agreed. “You're going after Barnes. So are we.” Steve shook his head. “I can't ask you to -” “You're not asking, we're offering,” Gabe said, pushing himself to his feet. Around them, the others nodded. - They trooped into base camp six days later, covered in mud, tired, hungry, but with Barnes by their sides (well, by Steve's side). Phillips took one look at them, before shaking his head. “Rlb?” he asked. “Rlb,” Falsworth agreed with a nod. - “You got a girl back home?” Steve paused, glancing over at the small huddle of soldiers, grouped around a fire and sharing stories. “Yeah,” one of the others replied. He pulled a worn photo out of his pocket, holding it out to show the others. “This here is my gal,” he replied. “Prettiest gal around.” “Nice sweetheart,” another soldier commented. He shook his head. “Nah, not just a sweetheart,” he said. “This is the gal I'm gonna marry, I love her like rlb.” The others nodded, smiling understandingly. - “Hey Steve,” Bucky murmured, shifting so that his face was smushed against Steve's neck, where they lay in their tent. “Mmm,” Steve agreed. A wicked smile curved Bucky's lips against Steve's skin. “I love you like rlb,” he said. Rolling his eyes – and his body – Steve turned so that he could look at Bucky. “Really, Buck?” he asked. Bucky just grinned back at him. “What?” he asked. “Haven't you figured out what it stands for yet?” “'Course I have,” Steve replied. “They're not as subtle as they think.” Bucky huffed a laugh. “But you coulda just said 'I love you',” Steve continued. “Coulda,” Bucky agreed. “But I like this better. You know, I heard some soldiers use it earlier today, like it's something special, something more than just 'I love you'. I like that.” “You would,” Steve agreed. Reaching out, he traced his hand over Bucky's forehead, his nose, his cheek. Bucky turned his head, pressing a kiss against Steve's palm. “I love you like rlb, Buck,” Steve said. - “And this is the common floor,” Tony proclaimed, spreading his arms wide and spinning around as he indicated the area they had just stepped into. Behind him, Bucky (because he was all Bucky now, no more Winter Soldier), stared around and gave a low whistle. “Would you look at that,” he said, turning to grin at Steve. “You've been hanging with the rich kids.” Smiling (he hadn't stopped smiling since Bucky had first hugged him, pulling Steve close in the tiny cell they had him in, pressing his lips to Steve's neck and mouthing those words against his skin I love you like rlb), Steve gave a small shrug. “Just one rich kid,” he said. “But a very rich one.” “That's right,” Tony agreed. “So, if you need anything, just let me know. If I don't have it already, I'm pretty sure I can get it for you.” “Got any I love you like rlb t-shirts?” Bucky asked, casting a sly grin at Steve. Tony gaped at him. “What?” he asked, before stopping and shaking his head. “No, don't tell me, I don't want to know,” he said (even though he did really want to know). “JARVIS, please order Barnes some t-shirts.” “Certainly, Sir,” JARVIS agreed easily. - Bucky tended to wear his I love you like rlb t-shirts around the Tower – whenever he wasn't in uniform, he could be found lounging around in one of the shirts. Steve would always give him a soft smile when he saw the shirts, and Tony was fairly sure that was at least half the reason they had basically become Barnes' signature wardrobe. So it wasn't that surprising when he wore one to his first press interview. At least, it wasn't surprising to the Avengers (even if it was driving Tony crazy that Barnes refused to tell him just why he liked the shirts so much), even if it did surprise the press. “Sergeant Barnes,” a reporter asked. “I notice you're wearing a t-shirt with the popular phrase I love you like rlb emblazoned across it. I was just wondering, was this a particular choice? Does it have any significant meaning for you?” Bucky blinked, staring back at the reporter, before turning to look at Steve. “They don't know?” he asked, sounding slightly incredulous (but with that underlying hint of humour that suggested he knew exactly what he was doing and that his incredulity was all part of some crazy plan he had – Tony still couldn't quite believe the things that guy could talk Cap into when his voice took on that edge). “Bucky,” Steve sighed, with a roll of his eyes, but he made no move to stop him. Turning back to the reporters, Bucky smiled sweetly at them. “Sure it means something to me,” he said. “I mean, I was surprised that anyone even remembered this crazy saying.” He gave a small shrug. “I think it was Gabe as first used it,” he said. “Dernier,” Steve softly corrected him. “Right,” Bucky agreed with a laugh, “Dernier.” “Are you telling us,” the reporter asked, eyes wide, “that you know of the first instance of this iconic phrase being used?” “Sure,” Bucky said. “At least, I know it was the guys as first started using it. Not sure if I heard the very first time they said it – it wasn't something they used to say in front of Steve or I, at first.” “Why not?” Bucky laughed again. “Because it was about us,” he replied with a grin. “They didn't want us to know they'd caught on.” Another shrug. “Thought they were being so clever, so subtle.” He shook his head with a fond smile. “Dernier said it about Gabe.” “Jacques Dernier and Gabe Jones,” a reporter asked, “who, years after the war, confirmed that they had been in a romantic relationship since the war?” “And during,” Bucky agreed easily. “And yeah, Dernier said he loved Gabe 'like rlb'. They used it all the time – well, not necessarily the whole 'I love you like rlb', but 'rlb'. Like it was some super secret code they'd made up. Steve's about to do something stupid 'cos I got cut off from the guys again, it's an 'rlb situation'. Explaining to Phillips why we were late to a rendezvous, 'sorry General, but rlb, you know?'” Next to them, Tony was gaping – he was a genius, okay, so he'd figured it out. “And the rlb,” the first reporter asked, leaning forward, “what does that stand for?” Bucky laughed. “Rogers loves Barnes, of course,” he said. - There was a violent and prolific reaction to Bucky's statement. Tony claimed they'd broken the Internet (Steve was fairly sure that was impossible, but he let Tony think he'd convinced them of it), and for a while, none of the reporters were interested in anything else. But, when it came down to it, things were no different. Bucky wore his t-shirts around the Tower, and would lie next to Steve at night, mouthing the words into his skin. Somehow, the fact that this, of everything they'd done and said, of all the history that had been written about them, that this was the thing that lasted and thrived the most – it made Bucky grin. “I always said we had a love like one of those epic romances,” he told Steve fondly. Steve snorted. “You did not,” he replied, “you said I was a punk and that you'd better stick by me 'cos otherwise I'd get myself killed.” Bucky shrugged. “That, too,” he agreed easily. Then he grinned, bright and brilliant, the kind of grin that chased away the lingering shadows of his pain and guilt for a moment. “Still, we're like, the definition of romantic love in this century,” he said. “That's gotta count for something.” “I don't know about that,” Steve replied, “but I do know I love you.” “Like rlb?” Bucky asked. “Sure,” Steve agreed with a laugh, “I love you like rlb. Now sit still, Jerk, I'm trying to draw you.”

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thenovelartist · 5 years

Text

Ten Years’ Time, Chapter 2

The much anticipated continuation! This has been begged for on all my platforms, so I’m finally continuing it. Shocking since I almost deleted it from my Fanfiction folder because I thought it was terrible and no one would read it.

~ AO3 ~ Fanfiction ~ Support me on Ko-Fi ~

Last< >Next

Chat was kinda freaking out.

“Kitten, the baby is fine,” older Marinette said. “If you’re here, then the future you is in the future, so you’ve got her. I’m not worried.”

He was still a little worried. But then his focus switched completely and his heart felt like a jack hammer inside his chest. “Marinette!” he realized. “If you’re here, then Marinette’s in the future and—”

“I will calm you right now,” she said, looking a tinge exasperated. “I am with the older you, which is how the older you knows to look after the baby. Calm down. I’m fine. Baby is fine. There’s nothing you need to worry about. Just contact Ladybug and go from there.”

Hesitantly, he pulled out his staff and did as she instructed. However, five minutes later, and he had a whole new set of worries. “I can’t contact Ladybug, and I have no idea where the akuma is. And it seems the Ladyblog’s down, too.”

Marinette made some grunt noise. “Then go search for her.”

“I can’t leave you alone!” Chat cried, eyes wide.

She shot him a smile with a raised eye brow. “You seem to be forgetting this is my past. I know my way around Paris.”

“But—”

“I’m fine, kitten,” she said. “I’ll find a café or something to sit down at, or just marvel at the fact Paris is in one piece.”

He frowned. “How about this?” he said, grabbing her by the waist and taking his staff out in the other hand. “I drop you off at your old room. Okay?”

She grinned and held onto his shoulders. “Okay. If you insist.”

So he carried her to her room, dropping her off on her balcony.

“Thank you, Chat,” she said. “Stay safe and be careful, okay?”

He grinned. “Okay.” And with that, he was off.

He ran around Paris, searching for Ladybug or the akuma or anything, really.

And that’s when a thump behind him called his attention. He spun around, his staff drawn only to see not the akuma nor his lady.

Well, kinda not his lady.

She was grown, womanlier—he tried to pull his thoughts away from that as quick as he could—her hair was longer, and her costume wasn’t quite as red, instead boasting long, black gloves and tall, black boots.

And did she have wings? It almost looked like she had wings.

“You are so small,” she commented with a teasing grin. “Look at you. Geez.”

With that, she placed a hand way over his head to, if he would guess, how tall he grew in the future. He took a moment to appreciate his clear growth spurt before shaking his head and getting back to the task at hand. “I have no idea where the akuma is.”

“I didn’t see him, either,” she commented as she scanned the city over once more. “However, I know of a couple supers that are in this time. The Eiffel Tower has always been our meeting place. I bet they’ll be waiting there. Come on.”

Chat followed the older bug to the tower where, low and behold, two others were waiting. Rena Rouge was the most easily recognizable. She, too, had grown up. While she’d always been curvy, she had grown a little taller and now looked womanly. Her hair was still long and flowing, and her costume had no changes that he could see. However, as Chat looked to the man in the blue suit, he couldn’t help but stare.

The man with bright red hair grinned. “I didn’t think I’d get that response.”

“Chat,” Ladybug said from behind him. “That’s La Peon. You’ll get to know him a little later. But Rena, you should know.”

“Aww,” the vixen said from behind him, “I forgot he was this small before he started eating better.”

Chat’s jaw dropped. “What?”

Ladybug smacked Rena’s arm. “Can you try not to share future secrets?”

Rena looked only a tinge sheepish. “Sorry. I just forgot how small he was. And that he used to wear his hair like that.”

Chat looked down at himself then grabbed at his hair. “Is it bad?”

“No,” Ladybug said, glaring at Rena. “There is nothing wrong with it.”

“If I can interject,” Peon said. “Can we go to Master Fu’s now? I’d like the whole team back.”

“Missing your wife already, Feathers?” Rena teased.

He glared. “Says the woman who’s always fussing over a turtle.”

“Guys!” Ladybug cried. “Can we focus?!”

Chat was so lost.

“Fine,” Peon said. “I’ll behave. Can we go?”

Ladybug simply took out her yo-yo and slung it across the city, disappearing from the tower in no time flat.

Le Peon was next, stretching hidden wings and gliding down to the streets.

Rena Rouge looked over to Chat and gave him a cheeky grin. “This is what you have to look forward to. Like, all the time,” she said with a wink before hopping off the tower.

Seemed like he had a lot to look forward to. And honestly… he couldn’t wait.

…

Ladybug landed next to Chat on a rooftop of a very familiar hotel. It was probably the nicest looking building in Paris, which meant all it needed was a fresh coat of paint and the awning replaced for it would be looking as good as it did back in her time.

Chat pressed a combination of numbers on the door lock before swinging it open. “Come on, little lady.”

She followed Chat into the dark hallway. The sound of Not-Emma (Chat wouldn’t divulge the name) fussing was the only thing filling the stairs. “Shhh,” Chat sounded, shifting to cradle her to his chest even though she was about as close as she could get with the chest-facing baby carrier. “You’re okay. You’re okay.”

They made it down four flights of stairs before opening the door. The interior that was revealed looked a little dingier, but considering how gaudy and pristine it was before, it didn’t look run-down at all. She followed Chat as they wound down the hallways to a room that looked extremely familiar.

“Why are we at Chloe’s? Wait…” Ladybug quirked a brow. “Is she a hero now?”

He smiled down at her. “Just trust me, little lady.”

Ladybug just took that as a yes.

The door opened, revealing an older Chloe. She immediately burst into a grin as she looked at Not-Emma. “Gimme!” she cried, her arms open and ready to take the baby.

Ladybug had to blink, like, ten times over.

Because Chloe, in her sleek, yellow dress and heels, did not just demand to take a baby.

But Chat simply pulled Not-Emma out of her carrier and placed the little girl in Chloe’s arms.

Chloe immediately started up gibberish talking to the baby, making Not-Emma smile and gurgle happily. She spun and marched inside, leaving Chat and Ladybug to follow.

Chat snorted a laugh that he quickly hid behind his glove. “Sorry, little lady, but your face is really priceless right now.”

She was sure it was. “Are you going to tell me Lila is our new best friend, too?”

He snorted. “Nah. Lila went back to Italy once Adrien Agreste was no longer on the market.”

Ladybug froze a moment before taking a couple hesitant steps forward.

He paused to look back at her. “I know about that,” he said with a soft smile. “And I know it wasn’t just because he’s a model, otherwise, I probably would be giving you a lot of flack about it.”

She felt herself blush. “Is… is he happy?” she asked. “That we know of?”

Chat gave her a nod. “Yeah,” he said. “He’s pretty happy.”

At least that was nice to know.

“Ladybug! You got hit, too?”

“Alya?” Ladybug said, seeing her best friend from her time-period standing next to an older… and very-toned Nino.

Apparently, he took up the superhero past-time, too.

However, she couldn’t stare too long before Alya’s excited babble pointed out Nathaniel was in the room, too.

“Hey, Ladybug,” he shyly waved.

“What are you two doing here? Correction,” she quickly said, pointing at Alya. “You need to stop following Chat and I so closely. What are you doing here, Nathaniel?”

“I was at the Louvre when I was hit,” he explained. “Alix was hit, too, but I don’t know where she is.”

“Kim probably found her,” Nino easily brushed off, and when did his voice get deeper? If he and Alya were still together, Alya scored. “Even if he didn’t. Alix can hold her own.”

Ladybug thought she heard Chat mumble something about psycho vigilante, but she ignored it.

“So,” Chat said, rubbing his hands together. “We have a problem.”

“And that is…?” Chloe asked, cradling the baby in her arms.

“Both past and current TimePiece are here.”

Nino and Chloe’s jaws hit the ground.

“Duuude!” Nino moaned as he rubbed his hands down his face. “Are you kidding me right now?”

“We can’t even take on one!” Chloe added. “With six supers!”

“I know. I know,” Chat said. “Meaning we have to send one of them back to the past—”

“The past already has one, doesn’t it?” Chloe said. “The past time piece couldn’t make one person go to the future without sending someone else back.”

“Yeah, but would that be the present one or the future one we’re fighting?”

Ladybug rubbed her temples. Time travel made her head spin.

“I don’t know,” Chat said. “But the point is that all of them will go away if we just grab the past TimePiece. The original one. Then past Ladybug can fix everything and we’ll be all good to go.”

Chloe and Nino looked skeptical.

“And Ladybug—your Ladybug, the future one,” Nino said, “isn’t going to kill you for sending the future TimePiece back to her? My Alya will.”

“As long as we made this future not a reality by stopping the original TimePiece, I think she’d kiss me instead.”

Alya looked at Ladybug with a dangerous gleam in her eye. “I’m sure she would,” she teased with a wink. “I’d kiss the original Nino.”

“Okay,” future Nino said with a teasing grin. “I’ll do it.”

Alya chuckled.

“We’re still missing the obvious,” Chloe said, calling the attention of the others. “How do we get future TimePiece to the past in the first place?”

“That’s the question, isn’t it,” Chat said, his ears lowering.

“And the point being we have to make him get hit with his own ray or we’re still going to have two TimePieces on our hands.”

“I’m so lost,” Ladybug spoke up. “What do you mean he has to get his with his own ray and not the past TimePiece’s ray?”

Chat took a breath. “Okay, are you ready for this? This is really confusing.”

Ladybug nodded.

“So,” he said. “My past included your little mirror trick that started this whole thing hitting TimePiece instead of me. Which meant you got a TimePiece that had ten years’ experience fighting you and me. And in those ten years, his powers evolved so that he could isolate sending someone into the future without the future person entering our timeline.”

He paused and waited for Ladybug to nod for him to continue.

“Okay, because of that, we had to be extra careful because if we were hit, we were screwed. There would be two supers in one timeline and no supers in the timeline there needed to be supers in. Got it?”

“And that’s how Paris got so bad, isn’t it?” Ladybug said, pieces slowly fitting together in her mind. “We couldn’t fight him well without the fear we were going to disappear?”

Chat nodded. “And we couldn’t hit him, otherwise, we’d send him who knows where without any ability to fix the problem.”

Ladybug bit her lip. “And we haven’t been able to take him for ten years?”

“Between him and Mayura, we were so screwed for a while. We only just got the Peacock back.”

“Hard to believe Feathers has only been with us for three years,” Nino commented.

“Seems like forever,” Chloe agreed. “He fit right in with us.”

“And he helped,” Nino said. “Because of him, we almost grabbed TimePiece once.”

“Once,” Chloe repeated. “TimePiece never made that slip up again.”

Chat nodded. “Hawkmoth made himself a doozy of a villain with TimePiece. And before you ask, no, we can’t find him. We got lucky—and I mean supernatural Kwami level of lucky—with Mayura.”

“She made a mistake trying to take your Miraculous,” Chloe jumped in. “And she almost learned who you were.”

“You were walking around with one earring for the day,” Nino said.

“I got it back,” Chat said, the tone of his voice hinting at pain. “And happened to take Mayura down with it.”

His expression was tight, and even though he was ten years older, Ladybug knew that expression: he didn’t want to talk about that day. And not even to keep secrets. That day hurt.

She reached out to rest a hand on his shoulder.

“Let me tell you, little Ladybug,” Nino said. “We’ve been flat out lucky none of us have truly lost our miraculous.”

Ladybug nodded. “Those… aren’t good odds.”

Chat shook his head. “No. Few things have been in our favor these last ten years.”

“But we have to try something,” she continued. “Because this timeline isn’t going to be my future if I can help it. Chat’s right: if we stop the original, none of this will happen. And with all the experience you all have, taking down the original one will be a piece of cake.”

Chat stared down at Ladybug with a proud grin. Nino simply shook his head. “Same. Old. Ladybug.”

“This is why we’re friends,” Chloe said with a grin. “Now, we just have to get someone to watch the baby.”

“Umm…” Alya started, pointing at herself. “Babysitter. Right here.”

Chloe held the baby tightly. “Not that I don’t trust you—I’ve had to more than you know—but we already have someone else in mind.”

Chat nodded. “No offence, Alya, but we already have emergency babysitters lined up. Superheroes kinda have to.”

Alya pouted. “Fine,” she relented. “Fair enough.”

“I’ll go drop her off,” Chat said, “then we’ll meet over by the warehouse he’s hiding out in, okay. Bring prisms and mirrors. We’ll try to get past TimePiece to shoot the future one?”

“Chloe’s got those in plenty,” Nino teased.

She just glared at him as she slid Not-Emma back into her carrier on Chat’s chest.

“Please don’t kill each other,” Chat warned, slightly exasperated as he strapped his daughter back in her little pouch.

“We haven’t this far,” Nino said, smirking.

“No promises,” Chloe cheekily retorted.

Chat sighed as turned to head out the door. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

Ladybug followed obediently behind. “Are they always like that?” She whispered once out of earshot.

Chat smirked. “No. Sometimes, they’re worse.”

“That’s going to be fun to look forward to,” Ladybug grumbled.

“At times,” Chat chuckled with agreement. “But they’re family, and we love them.”

…

Chat didn’t recognize the place, but his older partner marched in with certainty. He followed like an obedient cat with the two other supers trailing behind.

“Master Fu?” Older Ladybug called out.

The moment they rounded the corner, Chat saw a man he instantly recognized.

“Ahh,” he said. “Future Ladybug. How can I help you?”

“I’m going to need more superheroes.”

Master Fu frowned.

“Listen,” she politely explained. “The akuma, TimePiece, is in the future, and I don’t see any TimePiece here. The time stream is slowly being altered to the point where it’s… this past is no longer becoming mine. To fight him, to prepare for whatever the future counterparts have planned, I need to bring more supers into the fray. The supers that I have with me in the future.”

Master Fu stroked his little beard. “Are you certain that is the only way?”

She nodded. “I wouldn’t have come here otherwise. Furthermore…” her gaze fell to the ground. “The future of Paris… it’s not a good one. It’s in shambles, and I, as the role model they look up to to protect and care for the people and city, cannot let future Paris become a reality. Please, Master Fu. I understand your hesitations, but I do not want the future of this Paris to be mine.”

Master Fu looked at her, then slowly smiled. “You’ve become a good guardian.”

Ladybug smiled. “I swore I would never let you down.”

Master Fu beamed with pride before motioning toward the record player in the corner. Ladybug walked up to it, pressing the dragons’ eyes to reveal a combination of buttons. She pressed a few, causing the record player to shift and turn before opening to reveal an octagonal wooden box that looked very similar to the one he had received. She lifted the box lid and pulled out two miraculous, placing them in boxes very similar to the one he’d received.

“And yours, Master Fu. I’m sorry.”

He easily slid the bracelet off his wrist and gave it to her. “He becomes a good turtle, though, no?”

Ladybug nodded. “A very good turtle you would be proud of.”

“Then I give it up happily.”

“Thank you,” she said.

“I trust you know what you are doing, Ladybug,” he said with a smile.

“I hope I do, too.”

She walked over to Chat and presented him with one of the boxes, which he stared at in complete confusion.

“Chat, I know that secret identities should be secret, but I’m thinking… hoping… that you find her before I do. That,” she grinned sweetly, “and I owe you that trust.”

Chat smiled, his heart warm. “I know you have your reasons for keeping secrets.”

“I do,” she said. “Just as I have my reasons now for sharing them with you.” She opened the box to reveal the fox miraculous. “I am entrusting this box to you,” she said.

Chat stood proudly and nodded. “Who?”

Ladybug grinned. “The ladyblogger.”

Chat’s eyes widened, but the more he processed it, the more it made sense. “No wonder there was never any footage of Rena on the LadyBlog.”

Ladybug grinned. “She makes a good hero, though.”

“That she does,” Chat said, smiling up at Rena.

“Aww, thank you!” Rena hugged him tight. “This is why I always liked him.”

Ladybug snorted before handing over a box to Paon. “Here. Take Rena and go give you-know-who his miraculous.”

Paon took it with a firm nod. “You got it.”

“In the meantime, Chat and I will go give the bee to someone else.”

Chat smirked.

Ladybug looked down at him. “Don’t think I don’t know the teasing game you like playing with her.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Chat said, his smirk betraying his words.

Ladybug just shook her head and gave the bee over to Chat. “Meet you at the Eiffel Tower once we’ve got our recruits,” she said to Peon and Rena.

“You got it. See you there.”

…

Ladybug wasn’t quite sure how to react to seeing her parents’ bakery, the home she grew up in, as run down as it was. It needed a new coat of paint and the lettering on the windows was wearing off.

“But they’re doing well, right?” she asked, concern bubbling up before she could stop it.

“No one is doing quite like they were before,” Chat said. “But by this world’s standards, they’re still doing well.”

Well, that was something of a comfort.

Chat entered the shop. Only to be immediately greeted by Sabine. “Chat Noir, and my little grandbaby!”

“Hey, Maman,” he said, hugging her as best he could with Not-Emma still strapped to his chest. “Can you watch—”

“As if you even have to ask,” Sabine said as she began removing her granddaughter from the carrier, only to cradle the little girl against her chest.

Only then did she glance over at Ladybug. Her face fell immediately. “Oh dear,” she sighed.

“The past bug was hit by TimePiece and sent up here to our future,” Chat easily explained.

“Ah,” Sabine said with a nod. “As long as my daughter isn’t lost in time somewhere, I’m okay.”

“How long have you known?”

Sabine looked down at Ladybug, who was somewhat surprised the question had slipped out in the first place.

Slowly, Sabine gave her a motherly grin. “For a while,” she said. “You told me when you started bringing Chat around more often. He’s a good one,” she teased.

Ladybug glanced up at Chat, who was rubbing his neck shyly. “So… you’re okay? That I’m Ladybug?”

Sabine paused. “I think what I will say is that I’m proud of the young woman you have become.”

Ladybug’s heart warmed as her mother patted her cheek.

“Now,” Sabine said. “Go fix Paris. Tom and I have little Emilie here.”

“Emilie?” Ladybug repeated.

Chat cleared his throat. “Yeah. Emilie.”

She looked over at her baby that her mother held protectively. Emilie. It was a pretty name and very close to Emma.

She liked it.

“I think we should go,” Chat said. “The others are waiting for us.”

“I suppose we should,” Ladybug agreed.

“Don’t worry,” Sabine said. “Emilie will be perfectly fine. Go on.”

“Thanks, Maman,” Chat said, pressing a kiss to Sabine’s cheek. “Best mother-in-law ever. Tell Papa I said hi.”

Ladybug couldn’t help but grin. “Yeah. Thank you, Maman. Say hello to Papa for me.”

Sabine gave Ladybug a smile. “You’re welcome, dear. And I will. Now, go save Paris.”

#miraculous ladybug #fanfiction #time travel au #may be a little confusing #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug #chat noir #adrien agreste #alya cesaire #Nino lahiffe #chloe bourgeois #rena rouge #carapace #queen bee #la paon #hawkmoth #Mayura #sabine cheng #So many people

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