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ikeuverse · 13 hours

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MR. FUNNY GUY — l.heeseung

PAIRING: heeseung x fem!reader GENRES: fluff, humor WC: 3.8k+

WARNINGS: a few swear words, mentions of alcohol. yeji, sunghoon's sister, is portrayed in this fic as being of age, because there is a part that insinuates that she has been drinking.

NOTES: this came to me as a totally random thought and made me want to write it, without pretension. yes, konon is written as jake's girlfriend just because i wanted something totally different, and i've never seen anyone put her as the girlfriend of any of the boys. idk, nothing special, hehehe. i hope you like it!

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Every group of friends consists of having outstanding personalities or a representative for each thing among them. Heeseung could be the personification of the funny kid.

He had always been in charge of making the best jokes and making everyone laugh ever since he met his friends at the end of high school and the beginning of university. With Heeseung around, it was as if there was no sadness at all.

Even his attitude was that of a big, awkward, funny guy, which gave him even more credit for his antics.

Heeseung was responsible for making Jake stop crying when he got his first low grade in calculus at university. Not even his girlfriend was able to cheer him up, but Heeseung trying to prepare a smoothie and forgot to close the lid of the blender, causing all the fruit and mixtures to fly around the kitchen... Oh, that got a good laugh out of Jake. And a few curses from Jay, for sure.

Heeseung was also responsible for making Sunghoon and Yeji cry with laughter a week after their puppy went missing. She was crying and he said he would help his friends find her, even if their hopes were slim. Heeseung did find her, but that didn't stop him from coming back all wet and with mud all over his shorts because the dog had wandered into a garden and he ran with his life to rescue her. Telling that story out loud made it all worthwhile in the end.

What Heeseung never managed was to get many smiles out of you, Yeji's best friend. It wasn't as if you and she joined Sunghoon's group of friends very often, but when you did, you were the only one who stayed quietly in the corner of the room and didn't crack a smile when he made a joke.

At first, it didn't make much difference to him, not least because you only appeared occasionally and Heeseung only found out about you sometime later. Because you really were so quiet that you seemed almost invisible. But as time went by and Yeji attended more and more of the boys' meetings – even more so after she and you made friends with Jake's girlfriend – Heeseung didn't want to admit it, but he started to feel a bit insulted.

Why weren't you laughing at his jokes? Why didn't you crack a single smile at his antics in front of his friends? You were supposed to hate him, in Heeseung's mind. That was the only explanation for why he never saw a single curved movement of your lips.

"Relax, man" Sunghoon said one night when the two of them were in the kitchen preparing the popcorn for the movie. "Yeji said that Y/n is like that, very closed," he took a larger bowl to pour the contents into, placing it next to another in case he needed a spare. "She took a while to open up to the girls, so maybe it's nothing personal."

So it would seem. Heeseung thought, rolling his eyes as he tried to forget about it and focus on the movie night they all had together.

A whole month passed and he tried not to focus on the thought that you didn't like him, because if that were the case, Heeseung would have gotten there first. He knew everyone there before you did, so if you didn't like him, you might as well not hang out with them anymore and just be friends with Yeji and Jake's girlfriend.

But no, that night what he wanted to happen happened. And without expecting much, without creating any expectations that you would smile at him.

"What are you three doing?" Sunghoon approached and ruffled Yeji's hair, hearing his little sister grumble and curse him for it.

"Trying to make sushi at home" she huffed "But Konon's the only one who can, and she gives the hardest tasks to me and Y/n to do."

"Come on, I think we're doing fine," you said, avoiding looking at Konon because you knew she was laughing at the two of you.

You held up a hot roll you had just rolled, hoping it wouldn't fall out of your hand and spill all the rice. Your eyes met Sunghoon's and then looked at Heeseung, who was standing in the kitchen doorway.

"You're doing a great job," Sunghoon complimented.

"Yeah, long and crooked... Looks like Sunghoon" Heeseung pointed to the hotroll in his hand, and he almost shouted when he heard the sound of your laughter.

It wasn't possible what Heeseung's eyes were seeing at that moment. You. Laughing and then smiling at him... Did that really happen?

Sunghoon abruptly turned to Heeseung as if he was thinking the same thing. Of course, he and the boys were the only ones to hear Heeseung's lament that you never smiled at anything he did. But now it had just happened.

And he wasn't sure if he wanted to see it again, because strangely Heeseung's heart was pumping in a way that he wasn't happy about. Not to mention the fact that, apart from thinking about your smile and the sound of your laugh for weeks, the boy wasn't proud to say that he had dreamt about it.

Was it stupid to say that he had actually dreamed of your smile? Shit, that couldn't be possible.

"Heeseung!" Jake shouted to get his friend's attention, snapping his fingers in front of his face.

"Fuck, what a fright" Heeseung wriggled in his chair "What's wrong?"

"I've been calling you for about five minutes, what world were you in?"

"In the world where Y/n keeps smiling at him" Sunghoon hummed.

Fucking bastard... How did Sunghoon have to be so direct like that? All right, his friends knew and couldn't stand to hear Heeseung fantasize about it for weeks, but hearing it out loud from someone else made him feel like a bit of an idiot.

"In my defense, I'm still in shock about this" he tried to say, hearing Jay's laughter from across the room.

"Still? How long has it been... like, three weeks? A month?" he asked, already knowing the answer. If Heeseung were to count, it had been a month and a few days, because every month the girls tried to make a different food. And he distinctly remembers his skills – not unlike Konon's – in rolling the seaweed into sushi.

"Do you like her?" Jake sprawled further back on the sofa, almost throwing his legs over Heeseung's lap. Sunghoon was sitting on the floor staring at the TV while the movie was still playing.

"What? No" he said too quickly, regretting it the moment all the boys' eyes landed on him.

"Dude, you literally went to great lengths just to make her laugh for you" Jay got up from his chair to walk over to Sunghoon and sit down next to him on the floor.

"And when that happened, you didn't stop talking about it the whole time," Jake added.

"I said you could all make me stop talking—"

"We don't want to, it's cute" Sunghoon smiled "Besides I think it happened a few more times after sushi night."

"What?" it was Heeseung's turn to shout, startling Jake who was cursing at him quietly as he curled up on the sofa.

At that moment Heeseung was standing in the living room, pacing back and forth near the TV and watching his friends with mixed feelings. Jake was still recovering from his shock, Sunghoon was pressing his lips together, feeling guilty for saying it just then. While Jay held in his laughter and closed his eyes to wait for the conversation to unfold.

"You're just telling me about this now? Fuck Sunghoon, what do you mean?"

"Dude, I'm sorry" he said, "It's just that you got so excited about it that if I told you she smiled a few more times, you might explode."

"I'm exploding right now" from the coloring of his face, it could be possible.

What do you mean you smiled at Heeseung or something related to him and Sunghoon didn't say anything at all? Now he wanted to know, what was the occasion? Had he done something funny, said something at the wrong time, or made a joke? Or did you genuinely smile just because he was around? What had been the circumstance in which you smiled at him?

"All your gears are turning at the moment and I think it's my fault" Sunghoon got up from the floor, straightening his pants and then sighing, "But she smiled at times when you weren't looking."

"Why?"

"Look, I know your mind because I've lived with you for years, but I have no idea what she was thinking about it" Sunghoon's words had a unique effect on Heeseung. He was even more pensive.

"Yeah, he's right," Jake said.

"You too..." Heeseung then turned to Jay.

"Dude, we talked about this for hours and worked it out together," he defended himself, cringing when the other threatened to approach.

"Hey, calm down!" Sunghoon held him by the shoulders even though he knew his friend would do absolutely nothing to any of the three "Now that you know, you can do something about it."

"Yes, kill the three of you."

"Or talk to her and ask why" Jake shrugged and stood up, giving his best smile in response "Now how about we order something to eat? I'm starving."

"No, no more drinks for you today, young lady" Sunghoon snatched the glass from Yeji's hand, listening to his sister's protests even though she was already a little upset.

"But hey, we're celebrating" she tried to catch it, but to no avail, her older brother was taller and would surely use that to his advantage.

"Celebrating what? The loss of your liver?" Heeseung looked around at the number of glasses on the kitchen counter.

He sighed as he imagined that the owner of that house would have an extremely difficult time cleaning up, but his thoughts were soon cut loose by the sound of laughter that flooded the room. His body went still and his eyes widened at the sight of your standing in front of the kitchen door.

"Hey, Heeseung, you look like you've seen a haunting" you waved at him, smiling briefly and then turning your eyes back to the Park siblings.

"He just heard something" Sunghoon added.

Not knowing what it was, you didn't bother asking him and just walked into the kitchen where the three of them were still standing.

"What's going on?" you asked.

"Yeji's already drunk, so let's go home."

"But she's celebrating," you pouted "It's not every day you get an A in Professor Choi's class."

"The worst professor at that university" Yeji picked up a glass to raise and pretend to toast, then put it back on the counter.

"But you've had enough, so I think you'd better go home" he looked at his sister and then at you "Has Jake taken Konon yet?"

"They just got home, Jay told me as soon as I came into the kitchen" you looked around for something to drink "And you two, what are you doing here?"

Sunghoon had gone after Yeji before he left and Heeseung had been in charge of looking for you, so the two of them could take you home safe and sound. But he didn't want to say that out loud.

"We came after you two," Sunghoon replied.

"Okay, let's go" Yeji whined "I won't be able to finish my drink anyway."

"Not even if we just have one more beer? It'll be quick and—"

"Nope" Heeseung stood in front of you when you threatened to approach the fridge. Looking up thanks to his height, this was the closest he had come to you since you two met.

It might have been the effect of the drink or the moment itself, but he looked glistening and that had – strangely – made your heart flutter.

Blame the drink, blame the drink, please.

"Come on Y/n, these two dullards don't know what fun is" Yeji pushed past Heeseung, ignoring his protests as she grabbed you by the arm and pulled you out of the kitchen.

"That's it man, a few more moves and you two would be kissing in this kitchen" Sunghoon held Heeseung by the shoulders without missing an opportunity to tease him.

He acted on instinct to stand in front of you so that you wouldn't advance into the kitchen, right? He also ignored the distance between the two of you because he miscalculated his steps and Sunghoon was right to say how close you and Heeseung were. But those thoughts had to be pushed aside as quickly as possible.

And that happened when Jay's voice echoed in Heeseung's ears, standing next to his friend's car.

"Can you take Y/n home?" he asked. Heeseung didn't want to show his shock, but the orbs almost popping out in the expression that caught him off guard made Jay laugh right away "I've had a few drinks and I certainly won't be able to drive."

"But—"

"Take her and come back for me" Jay handed Heeseung the keys to his car.

"Why don't you just go along? I can drop you home later."

"Because I'm not finished here yet" Jay's lips protruded forward in a pout, he took a few steps away from Heeseung, nodding and smiling at his friend "And I don't want to witness anything pornographic in my car. Unless I'm the one doing it," he shouted the last part and Heeseung turned sharply in the direction you were with the Park siblings.

He would have given anything at that moment for you to be so drunk that you hadn't heard any of the shit Jay had said so far.

"Where's Jongseong going?" Yeji asked when he saw the boy disappearing among some people in the garden of the house.

"He said he didn't finish whatever it is in there" Heeseung sighed "Come on Y/n, I'll take you home."

None of you missed the mischievous giggle that escaped from Yeji, soon to be joined by Sunghoon. Heeseung knew very well about his friend, but why did his little sister even seem to be complicit?

"Do you know where I live?" you asked so naturally that Heeseung had forgotten how serious you were whenever you were around him.

"No, but you can tell me while we go in Jay's car," he said, and you just agreed and let him guide you to the vehicle. Neither of you cared what the Park siblings said as you and Heeseung walked to Jay's car. He showed himself to be a tremendous gentleman by opening the door for you and checking that everything was okay until you buckled your seatbelt so he could close the door and turn the car around.

"Can we go?" he asked and you nodded, giving Heeseung the coordinates so he could get to your house.

For Heeseung, the silence was necessary while he reorganized his thoughts because, for the first time, he was in a place alone with you. That had never happened since the two of you met.

Now for you, the silence was agonizing because it made you think and observe. To think about how hard you'd tried to get away from that man next to you and to observe how well he drove. His hands firmly gripping the leather of the steering wheel, his long fingers drumming now and then when they stopped at a traffic light or how agile his hand was at holding the gearshift. You also found yourself swallowing when his hand accidentally hit your leg when changing gears. He wasn't doing it on purpose, you knew that, but it was inevitable not to smile quickly.

"We're here" he was the first to break the silence, indicating that he had followed your coordinates very well, and now the two of you were parked inside Jay's car and in front of your apartment complex.

You looked out of the window, a sigh escaping your lips as you looked back at the boy in the car sitting next to you.

"Thanks, Heeseung" you said sincerely, opening a smile when his eyes met yours. Heeseung smiled too, but he didn't look so happy about it. He seemed... Annoyed?

"Can I ask you something, Y/n?" he said just like that, not even bothering to respond to your thanks. But you didn't mind either, after all, your sobriety was starting to kick in, but even so, your alcohol-addled body made you more curious than usual.

"Anything," you said.

It took him a while to formulate that question, pondering whether he should really ask it or just let it go and get on with his life as if it didn't affect him. But it certainly did. Heeseung knew why he had dreamt it, he had to ask.

"Why haven't you ever smiled at me?" might seem like a silly question from the outside, or even sad if the person was as sentimental as Heeseung.

At first, your eyebrows drew together in surprise. But then everything relaxed and you unbuckled your belt to turn around and face the boy.

"What do you mean?"

Heeseung repeated your gesture a few seconds later, unbuckling his belt and turning to face you too.

"I mean, ever since we met you've never smiled at anything I've done," he shrugged, trying to sound firm in his words, not wanting to waver or show how ridiculous it might seem "Surely Yeji has already let it slip that I'm the clown of the group and, I don't know, you're the only person who's never given me a single smile."

"Does that bother you?"

No. He should answer, to appear tougher.

"Yes, a little" Heeseung didn't want to follow his thoughts, he wanted to act on the emotion of the moment "I thought you didn't like me or, at worst, thought I was so dull that you begged the girls to get away every time we met in a group."

He was being so honest with you, opening up so genuinely that you felt a little bad. Maybe your way of acting on everything you'd heard hadn't been nice, you might have been a bit extreme with it.

"I'm sorry" was all you managed to say, without knowing exactly why you were apologizing. Whether it was for your reaction or for never getting to Heeseung and wanting to get to know him.

"Why?" he asked.

You didn't want him to ask, so you wouldn't have to explain yourself, you'd get out of the car and drive away. But Heeseung's sparkling eyes seemed to call out to you every second, guiding you to him as if you belonged there, staring at him as the words came freely out of his mouth.

"We have a group of friends at college and certainly Yeji's brother and his friends are sometimes a topic," your gaze quickly shifted to the window behind Heeseung. Anything being more interesting than his eyes paying attention to you right now "I once commented that... Well..."

"Say, it's okay," he tried to encourage you and you looked back at him, could blame it on the drink if something got out of hand, and would say the next day that you didn't remember anything you were saying. Even though by then your sobriety had reached more than half of your body.

"I told I thought you were very handsome" you nibbled your lower lip and continued, not even giving Heeseung time to process the information "A friend of ours said that you were not only handsome but funny, but that was a danger."

"What? Why?" he tried to shake off the tingling feeling in his chest and his cheeks heating up at the confession. So you thought he was handsome from the start.

"Have you ever heard of the theory of the funny boy being a danger?" you crossed your arms and snorted when Heeseung denied it with a nod "He'll make you laugh so much, you'll laugh. Laugh and laugh until you're naked in his bed."

It was his turn to laugh, hiding his face with his hands and messing up his hair.

"Shut up, don't laugh," you groaned in frustration, uncrossing your arms and trying to push his hand away from your face. The contact was electrifying, even if it only lasted a few seconds. Heeseung uncovered his face and looked at you.

"So Yeji's friend said that about me, and you believed it?" Heeseung wanted to sound confident as he raised an eyebrow, even though, if he had to get out of that car, his legs would be as soft as jelly.

"Well..." a few seconds passed and you sighed, "I avoided contact so I wouldn't have to believe it. I don't know, preserve myself as much as possible since you seem to be well known at the university."

"So you didn't want to smile at me because you thought you'd end up in my bed?" Heeseung leaned forward a little, looking a little defiant. You leaned forward too, your hands resting on your lap.

"You make all the girls smile, what difference would it make if I smiled at you?"

Don't be so honest, Heeseung thought to himself, but it was already done when he launched into it.

"Maybe because your smile is beautiful and when that happened on sushi night, I ended up dreaming for a long time."

"What? Did you dream about my smile?" you almost shouted in the car.

"Too many questions for one night, don't you think?" Heeseung pretended to shake himself, looking for the car keys that he hadn't even taken out of the ignition. Turning on the air conditioning might be a good idea since neither of you made any mention of leaving.

"Too many confessions for one night" you leaned back in your seat.

"I think we're going to need a few more nights for you to tell me more" he also leaned back in his seat, but his head remained turned in your direction.

"Are you asking me out on a date?"

"Would you?" he asked back, a stupid – but extremely beautiful – smile adorning his lips as he said again, "I want to prove that friend of yours completely wrong."

"I'd love that, then" to his surprise, asking you out had been completely light-hearted. He didn't feel like throwing up or running away, or even saying something silly, stuttering... Nothing. Heeseung was just himself as he watched you bend down to him and brush your lips against the corner of his.

From the way Heeseung's head was tilted, giving indications that he wasn't going to move, you purposely kissed him on the corner of the lips, pulling away before he made any risky moves.

"I'm waiting for a message from you so we can make an appointment, mr. funny man."

You winked at him, watching as the tip of Heeseung's tongue traced the exact spot where your lips touched the corner of his. The smile never left him as he watched you open the door, wave, and close it to leave.

A smile had never left Lee Heeseung like that.

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pinkthrone445 · 13 hours

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-Let it burn to the ground- Part 3

Part 1 Part 2

Pairing:Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

Gender:fluf, soft, love

Warnings:Mention about past trauma, fires, boring but useful explanation of CPR

Summary:Melissa lets the fire of love consume her when she meets the new chief of the fire station.

After the amazing night of sex, you both have to deal with the consequences.

Mel ate breakfast in silence, glancing from time to time at her cell phone to see if you responded to her good morning message, but no notification came, you didn't even had opened her message, what made the redhead sigh sad

-"Soooo..."-Her housemate couldn't stand the silence any longer and started talking-"Last night was that good or did you scream like a wild animal on purpose to boost the chief's ego and interrupt my beauty sleep?"- Jacob asked as he ate his cereal, staring at her

-"My body hurts in parts that I didn't even knew existed, so yeah, she was that good" - The redhead replied without much emotion in her voice

-"So why do you look so sad?" - He asked, confused, and Mel sighed again

-"Because she left without saying goodbye... And now she doesn't even read my messages..."- She murmured sadly. Mel wasn't a self-doubting person, she was usually very confident in who she was and how she looked. But she couldn't help but wonder what had made you leave just like that, maybe you hadn't liked her body, she usually turned off the lights, but last night she was so desperate that she completely forgot about it. Or maybe you didn't like that the night focused only on her pleasure and not on you too... Maybe you'd reconsidered that she'd been with one of your subordinates in that same bed and you didn't like it...

-"Maybe she had an emergency at work and had to run away, she's the chief after all, her day off only lasted until 12 o'clock yesterday, if she was called after that time for an emergency, she would have had to run to help..."-Her friend commented and Mel nodded thinking about that possibility, it was something that could have definitely happened, which calmed her down a bit.

But two more days passed without you giving any signs, your son continued to go to school, but in none of those days that had passed had you gone to take him to school or pick him up. She even saw that your son was picked up by one of your sisters who looked a lot like you and the redhead thought about going to talk to her to find out something about you, but she didn't want to look so desperate so she didn't do it.

On the other hand, Jacob was upset to see his housemate so sad, and he wasn't a person who sat idly by when he saw one of his friends in pain, so he decided to do what the redhead would never do, visit you at the station to see what was going on and get answers.

When he arrived at the station he was surprised to see all the firetrucks outside being washed and cleaned so thoroughly he could see his reflection in the red metallic paint

-"Excuse me, hi" - Jacob spoke up to get the attention of the firefighters who were cleaning-"Does anyone know where I can find the station chief?"-He asked with his best smile

-"She is in her office, but I wouldn't recommend you to see her, lately she has been more bitch than usual..."-One of the annoyed firefighters commented-"Be careful, maybe you'll go see her and she'll get you cleaning up too" - He joked making the others laugh and Jacob rolled his eyes going to the entrence desk asking to see you.

You were reading some reports with a very deep frown when Jacob entered your office

-"Excuse me chief..."-Jacob spoke in a soft tone, your angry face did caused him a little fear

-"I told them that nobody could interrupt..."- You began to speak annoyantly, but relaxed your gaze at the sight of the scrawny young man at your door-"Hello Jacob, what are you doing here?" - You consulted and he looked at you confused

-"You know my name? Wow..."-The young man was proud of that for some reason

-"Yes, you are the boyfriend of one of my younger firefighters, besides Melissa told me some really funny anecdotes about you... Can I help you with something? I'm a little bit busy" - You asked seriously looking at your paperwork again

-"He is not, we are not... Did he said something to you?... Nevermind, that's not why I'm here for, I'm here for Melissa..."-Jacob spoke, smiling a little as he saw your interest return to him at the slightest mention of the redhead, you put your papers aside and looked at it with complete attention

-"What happened to Melissa? It she ok?" - Your voice sounded really worried

-"She is not, she is sad because you didn't call her again and you run away in the middle of the night after interrupting my beauty sleep with those screams... Why haven't you call her again?" - He asked with a frown, approaching you more confidently

-"Because I can't..."-You whispered without looking at him

-"WHY!?" - He yelled at you slamming your desk, but his anger and confidence quickly disappeared when you stood up from your desk with a frown and crossing arms facing him, sudently he felt small and had to take a few steps back-"Why ma'am? If you care to tell me, please" - He asked again but softer this time

-"Because I can't do casual, no with her at least... Melissa wants casual sex, no a relationship right now, and I can't do it... Have you seen her? We had this amazing connection, amazing chats, amazing dancing, funny moments and amazing sex and she is amazing... Do you know how often that happens in a first date? Never... Even my first date with my husband was worse and I end up marring him... I can't do casual sex after that, I can't when I feel that kind of connection with her... And if I keep seeing her I won't be able to say no everytime she asks me to come, and that would only destroy me more because I will keep my hopes up even if I know it's a dead end... I got scared of getting hurt okey?"-You sighed a little, embarrassed to admit that out loud while almost a complete stranger listened to you. Jacob, on the other hand, didn't know what excuse for your behavior he was waiting for, but it certainly wasn't that.

-"I... Didn't knew, sorry... But at least you own her an explanation, you can't vanish like that, she is sad and it scares me when she is sad... Please talk to her" - His friend whispered and you sighed

-"I'll talk to her... Later, I need to work right now..."-You whispered going back to your desk and he nodded opening the door

-"Thank you..."-He answered

-"By the way cupid, make a move on your friend, he will say yes, he is always checking his phone at work for your messages, God knows how many times I gave him a warning for being with that phone talking to you at work..."-You whispered without looking at him, but you could feel the way he smiled at your comment when he closed the door.

Hours later, you went to pick up your son from school, arriving a little bit earlier, trying to see Mel and talk a little before your son finished his classes.

After introducing yourself at the entrance, you made your way to Melissa's classroom to find it empty, confused you walked down the hallway until you heard her familiar tone of voice

-"Fudge! How is possible that he keeps winning?!" - The redhead spoke annoyed, looking at her phone while sitting in the teacher's room. You approached carefully and knocked on the door gently to get her attention, when her gaze fell on your face she raised her eyebrows in surprise, but quickly her face changed to seriousness and she looked back at her phone

-"Hi Melissa..."-You whispered but she didn't even look at you, you sighed and moved a little closer carefully-"How are you?..."-You gave her a little smile

-"Fine"-It was all the answer she gave you

-"Look... I can see you are mad at me and you are in all your right... I'm sorry for not answering your texts this few days" - You whispered and she just shrugged her shoulders

-"I don't care..."-She replied curtly again and you walked closer to her

-"I am really sorry, I didn't wanted to hurt you... I just got scared of how fast everything went and didn't find the strength to answer..."-You whispered looking at her-"Do you think I could have another chance? I know you felt our connection too, maybe it's worth another try? I promise not to disappear again" - You muttered and she looked at you over the edge of her glasses

-"I can't, I'm busy, I have a date with someone tonight" - She replied seriously and you sighed, on one hand you were afraid of the anger in her eyes and on the other hand this was exactly what you feared, she didn't want something serious and the fact that she already had another date after 3 days of being with you confirmed it even more

-"Oh, Okey, sorry for bother you"-You whispered walking to the door-"And sorry for ignoring you..."-You left the room heading to the exit to wait for your kid. For some reason the redhead's response had hurt you more than you'd like to admit, though maybe the fact that you ignored her had pushed her to that, you thought maybe you'd get another chance. Maybe you'd have to get used to mediocre dates since no other could match the connection you'd had with her in the first one.

After being lost in thought, your son ran out of school towards you with his small backpack on his back, smiling a lot when he saw that you were the one who went to pick him up

-"Mommy!" - The little one hugged you tight and you hugged him too, needing those hugs more than he knew. When he stepped back a little and saw your face, he frowned-"Why are you crying mom?"-Your son took your face with his little hands and you sighed, you didn't even realize that a tear had escaped your eye

-"It's just that I missed you so much" - You whispered and hugged him again-"Do you want to go for ice cream?" - You asked and he smiled and nodded excitedly.

Another week passed and your station had returned to Abbot to take the CPR trainer test to the teachers who had not been present the past time and again to a few who didn't do it correctly, although you did not want to go, the other firefighters had training exercises and you were one of the few who was free, so you had to attend along with Jacob's "friend", Avi.

Gregory, Melissa, Ava,Janine, Jacob and another teachers had to take it again, so there was no scape of seeing the redhead.

When you arrived, you prepared the room with the practice dummies, placing some on the floor and others on tables. When everything was ready, the teachers came in. Melissa frowned as she walked in and saw you, but you just decided to keep greeting them as if nothing happened.

As the exercises began you leat Avi lead the way and you stood on a corner in silence with a very rigid posture, you could quickly saw why Melissa had failed her previous test, she had terrible posture and her compressions were very weak, Jacob was there because he wanted, Janine was doing it again because she hadn't taken the proper time to do it last time and Ava and Gregory had to do it because they hadn't been certified because they hadn't been present the time before.

-"I want to clarify a couple of things... Since the previous instructor didn't explain everything that was needed... Before we start compressions, you need to check that you don't have anything around that could cause further harm to you or the victim, like fire around or something that could fall on you. Second, you need to check first if the person is conscious, to start CPR, you need to have 3 missing things, no breathing, no movement and no response on someone, at that point you need to ask someone to call 911 while you start the compressions, if there is no one around, you call it first and then start the compression. The person has to be on a hard and flat surface, we are going to find the center of the chest, place one hand on top of the other and interlace the fingers, pressing mostly with our palm. We bend over the victim, our elbows locked and arms straight. They have to be at least 2 inches deep and at least 100 times per minute, it's more than one per second so they have to be fast and consistent"-As you explained each step, you only looked your eyes at the doll or the others avoiding the redhead, even though you knew her gaze was fixed on you-"Every 30 compressions, keep count, give 2 breaths to the victim... If you start to get tired, it is preferable to have someone else continue the compressions for you while you rest, because if you are tired your compressions will not be as deep as they were at the beginning nor will they be very effective... Here at school they have masks to give mouth-to-mouth breathing, they cover the nose and the mouth and they are only one way air pass, it is preferable that you use them as this way we avoid contaminating ourselves with viruses, budy fluids or contagious deseases. If we don't have a breathing shield to do it and we are not sure if we should touch the other person's mouth, remember that CPR without mouth to mouth interaction is also effective and can provide the effect that we need in a safer way. Now! Pay attention, it's different for children till the age of 15 depending how big they are. You still have to control the same thing as at the beginning, check if they breathe, move or have reactions. Check that the environment is safe and call the 911. But when we start compressions, you will do it with one hand only, no both because children chest are more fragile and we can broke a bone... After 30 compressions, you breath twice on their mouth using the face shield or breathing mask and then keep with the compressions until the ambulance arrives... Any questions?"-You finished your explanation and asked as everyone shook their heads-"Okey, then, if everyone payed attention, dived yourself into couples and start your compressions, if everything goes as we instructed, you will have your certificate at the end of the class"-You commented and watched as everyone worked.

Melissa was annoyed with the lack of attention you were paying to her, but it started to bother her more when her name started coming out of your mouth non stop

-"Melissa you didn't check your surroundings" "Melissa you need do deeper compressions" "Melissa arms straight" "Melissa, faster" "Melissa use the face shield" "Melissa, Melissa, Melissa" - she was tired of hearing you complain about her all the time, even tho in reality you were checking everyone's movements.

The redhead put the doll aside and stood in front of you with her arms crossed and her brow furrowed

-"Can we talk in the next room?"-She asked and you looked at her with a frown too

-"Avi, keep checking them, I'll be back in a minute" - You commented by following the redhead to another classroom

-"What was all of that?! You were being a bitch to me!" - The redhead whispered/screamed

-"I just was correcting what was needed to be corrected, it's my job, you need to do the things right to get your certificate" - You muttered authoritatively and she scoffed

-"Admit it you were only trying to make me embarrassed! You are only mad at me because I didn't accept another date after you vanish for three days!" - The redhead tapped your shoulder trying to push you but she didn't move you an inch, on the contrary, you got closer to her coming face to face

-"I'm not mad at you for that! I'm mad at myself because I run away because it scared me how casual everything is with you!" - You replied with a frown

-"I didn't wanted casual with you! I wanted a million more dates! You think I didn't felt that connection with you?!" - Melissa commented annoyed

-"Then why you went out dating again so soon?" - This time your tone of voice was calmer and softer, but little hurt

-"I didn't had a date, I just wanted you to feel hurt like I felt..."-she confessed and you sighed

-"I hate you" - You whispered laughing softly - "I hate that that worked" - You confessed and she smiled arrogantly

-"I hate you too" - She said and tried to give you a little peck, but you grabbed her waist and pulled her closer to you kissing her deeper, grabbing her jacket with force and making her moan a little bit when you pull apart biting softly her lip- Can we have another date tomorrow?" - She whispered over your lips

-"Chris has a football game and I promise to be there" - You whispered and she signed-"But you are invited if you want... He will be happy to have more people cheering him" - You commented and she smiled

-"I will love it..."-she answered and walked away toward the door

-"The kiss doesn't mean that you don't need to be better at the test, if you don't improve I won't give you the certificate" - You confessed and she rolled her eyes

-"I hate you!" - She replied and you laughed walking behind her.

#melissa schemmenti smut #melissa ann schemmenti #melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti fanfic #melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti #lisa ann walter #abbott elementary #abbott elementary fanfic #abott elementary #abott elementary fanfic #lissa ann walter #lesbian #lisa ann walter fanfic #pinkthrone445

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x-liv25-jamieswife · 3 days

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sad avery head canons

@ariscats requested this in a comment under my sad grayson hcs, and i'm more than happy to do it for my fav girl avery. trigger warning for self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and sexual assault. pls don't read if this might trigger you, and if you ever need help, there are helplines you can contact for free. family and friends are obviously also an option (if you'd rather talk to a stranger, you can always dm me (or whoever you feel comfortable with) <3). sorry if some of this doesn't make sense. i wrote this at 1 am. hope you enjoy<3.

avery used to pull out a guitar (cause i hc she can play the guitar) and sing songs for her mom when she was on her death bed

she now visits her mom's grave and does the same thing. she sings her mom's favorite songs on the verge of tears (if she isn't already crying).

avery used to wear an elastic band around her wrist and would snap it repeatedly until her wrist became sore and red (it didn't always make her stop though) when she was feeling overwhelmed or did smth she deemed wrong.

whenever avery would drive across bridges or anything really high up, she would think about jumping off of it.

she used to get her mom or libby to help her bake cookies that she would bring to school to try to get people to become her friend (it never worked)

she used to eat lunch in the back of the courtyard in a secluded place most of the time bc no one wanted to eat with her (until she met max obviously)

i'm currently rereading tig and i can't help but notice how uncomfortable she becomes when someone touches her so i hc drake or some other random creep sexually assaulted her once (or multiple times) and that's the reason why she seems so uncomfortable with physical touch.

she used to cry in her mom's arms wondering why she wasn't good enough for people to want to be her friend

when her and libby were struggling to get by and couldn't afford food, she would save the food for libby and not eat (she would tell her she ate at the diner she worked at but didn't)

when she realized, at the age of six, that her father was a piece of shit who didn't actually want her, she started trying to find faults in her to explain why this might be (she thought that if she could 'fix' herself, her father might want her)

she sometimes purposely gives herself papercuts when she feels really numb just to make herself feel something

when she would live in her car, she would sometimes continuously bash her head on the steering wheel wishing her life could be different.

when she was younger, to get people to like her, she would give them everything she had. she would do their homework for them, would cover for them when they wanted to cause trouble in the school, etc, but, in the end, it was always temporary

whenever she comes across someone who looks like sheffield grayson she freezes up in fear/shock. a little voice in her head tells her she's in danger and they'll hurt her.

after all of the almost-death experiences she's been through, she developed a panic disorder (this is already sort of confirmed) that she has to treat with pills.

she sometimes takes the haters' comments to heart (the comments about her weight, etc). she would start telling herself that skipping one meal wouldn't hurt. jameson noticed really early on though and stopped her before it became too severe.

she's convinced people would be better off without her and that she only causes pain and destruction everywhere she goes (bc of what happened with toby)

she actually hates getting drunk because it reminds her too much of her father. jameson started to notice that she would get really uncomfortable whenever he got drunk so he started to drink less. when he did drink though, he made sure it wasn't enough to get drunk.

because of everyone comparing her to emily, she's convinced herself that she's just jamie's second option and she'll never measure up (personality wise, looks wise, everything). jamie and her talked about it a lot and she's now less insecure.

she gets terrified when she hears noises at night bc she's convinces someone's there to hurt her

she forgives people so easily bc she desperately wants people to actually like her.

in the books she says she doesn't allow herself to want to want things bc it could potentially distract her/hurt her. i also think she doesn't allow herself to want things bc she doesn't think she deserves to want anything.

when she's in a stressful situation or she's having a panic attack, she'll start scratching her arms really roughly until they start to bleed to get herself to focus on anything other than the stress/panic.

the scratches on her arms became too obvious so she started scratching her sides instead.

she can't watch any tv shows with violence/war bc the loud sounds remind her too much of the shooting.

one of the reasons why she realized her father was a piece of shit was bc, once, he got way too drunk and slapped her. that was sort of like the catalyst for her.

bc she grew up so isolated, she's afraid of emotional and physical intimacy. she's afraid she'll start liking feeling loved/close to someone too much since she believes it'll never last (jamie showed her she was wrong)

i'm an averyjameson stan so don't take this the wrong way but avery was affected by jamie thinking of her as only a game way more than she lets on. even after they got together, she was paranoid that he had ulterior motives.

she blames herself whenever something goes wrong in the foundation or hawthorne house even when she had nothing to do with the problem.

she's extremely paranoid when it comes to locking her bedroom door and stuff like that bc of how often her privacy is invaded.

i said this in another post but, especially before she inherited the money, she would sometimes smoke weed to lessen the stress she felt for a little while.

she hates going to sleep bc her sleep is always invaded by horrendous nightmares. it became so bad she ended up in the hospital (jamie was absolutely terrified and made her promise to talk to him more).

she has this one stuffed animal that her mom gave her not long before she passed that she cries into whenever she feels like her life is going to shit.

before she inherited the money, she was actually near her breaking point. she was seriously considering if staying alive was actually worth it.

before she inherited the money, she used to count on her fingers how many people would miss her when she died to convince herself to stay alive (the number was never more than three). the fact that the number was so low made her feel even shittier and made her spiral.

her grief for her mom is so intense sometimes she can't get out of bed. she doesn't eat, sleep, drink water, etc. alisa had to contact a therapist/psychiatrist to help avery get out of bed.

to end on a brighter note, here's a happy avery head canon:

she used to dance all the time when she was younger. she would pull out her mom's phone, start playing some music, and jump around waving her tiny little arms everywhere whilst singing along. she would pretend she was a popstar. her mom would film her and send the videos to libby. the brothers have seen all of them bc libby showed them.

not proof read so i apologize for any spelling mistakes<3. again, pls contact someone/helpline if you ever need help. speaking from experience, things tend to get better. sending everyone lots of love (and my girl avery).

#the inheritance games #jameson hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #avery grambs #xander hawthorne #nash hawthorne #libby grambs

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vaguely-concerned · 3 days

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Garashir ficlet, PG, context is that Garak is about to go do… Something on his own (specifics very much ????? but probably something foolhardy and secretive and doomed ala Improbable Cause) and Julian is Not Having It this time. Probably fits into some of the later seasons vibes-wise.

Julian said tightly: “My Kardasi might still need some work, but — ”

“Oh, no at all, considering how recently you started your studies your efforts are downright impressive, if, ah — charmingly archaic at times. If that’s to be laid at anyone’s feet it should be mine, probably, remind me to recommend you something written within the last few centuries sometime soon.”

Giving this attempt at diversion exactly as much consideration as it deserved, Julian completely ignored him and finished his own line of thought: “ — but at this point I have a veritable doctorate in Garakese. There’s something you’re not telling me.”

“Many things, I’m sure. If I’d known you had any interest in the optimal soil composition in which to grow Lovalan roses, I would have gladly shared my insight. All you had to do is ask, my dear. In the spirit of cross-cultural knowledge exchange, I always stand ready to chip in and do my par — ”

“Elim.”

That made Garak blink, just that split second too long, even as his face remained perfectly still and smiling around it. It was subtle enough that an unaugmented eye might not have caught it, but Julian’s did.

No longer bothering to hide his own desperation, Julian pressed on: “Elim, please. You’ve got me worried with this. I want to help in any way I can, and — and I don’t like to think about what might happen if I can’t.”

There was a moment of silence between them in which Julian could hear his own quickened breathing too loudly in his ears.

“That’s… characteristically kind of you, Doctor,” Garak said eventually, voice slightly hushed, like someone trying not to wake a sleeping child in another room. “But there is nothing to worry about. Really.”

“Brush me off if you really feel like you have to, but please, at least do me the courtesy of not going out of your way to insult my intelligence while you’re at it,” Julian snapped. “How stupid do you think I am? How do you expect me to just close my eyes and sit back like nothing’s wrong while you — ”

Garak sighed. “You’re right, that was unworthy of me. Please, put it down to old habit, not a lack of respect. Very well, then let me rephrase what I was trying to say slightly, in order to be more precise — whatever might or might not be going on, there’s absolutely nothing you can do, and I really would rather you stayed out of it. Knowing you to be safely out of the line of fire would provide me with infinitely more comfort and utility than anything you could actively do to help. Which, again, is nothing.”

“But — ”

“Julian. Please.”

Julian would have been thrown less off-balance if Garak had punched him square in the jaw. “Oh, that’s a dirty trick,” he said, unsteadily.

“And here I thought ‘turnabout is fair play’ was a guiding Human principle,” Garak said, and his tone was light but his eyes were soft and very sad. “I see I have been misinformed.”

The idea that Julian’s initial exposure to the Cardassian language leaves him speaking it like the equivalent of a Regency era novel or something to contemporary Cardassian ears in the beginning is a headcanon that is so dear to me

#garashir #star trek #star trek ds9 #ds9 #julian bashir #elim garak #my writing #god. I just started a new fic this evening. I've got 5 proper wips on the go now not just this style of fragment nonsense. help

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californiannostalgia · 18 hours

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Processing identity as a child abuse survivor

Recently I had a huge revelation. Come with me on this childhood trauma realization journey (if you want).

This post was written for those wavering on the 'was it abuse' question.

Fair warning, each of these revelations were a whammy. I recommend you keep in mind that these revelations will transform the way you see yourself and the world. This took me out of commission for hours at a time.

Revelation 1: Was I Abused?

Read this Tumblr post. Go down the list. Check the 'yes'es and 'maybe's.

'Was I abused' is a yes or no question. I need you to really think about this if your answer is 'kind of'. If you could be truly honest with yourself, what would your answer be?

For years I've gone to the logic of 'it wasn't that bad,' and 'at least the worst didn't happen,' or 'others have had it worse'. This is such a low bar. You deserve better than the bar your parents set for you. The socioeconomic circumstances and the normalization of violence in your living area? Yes, influential. But not a justification.

At the end of the day, the veracity of these statements don't even matter. It's a yes or no question: 'Am I a survivor of child abuse?'

It may take a really long time to truly process, and even then it might feel uncomfortable saying it like it's truth. I need you to know your truth is truth. It's a yes or no question.

Take a break. I recommend you don't progress further until you've processed Revelation 1.

(Shameless plug-in of my fandom blorbo interests: Rick Riordan's Trials of Apollo series really helped me with this first revelation. It made me feel seen and less alone. It may not be perfect, but I personally liked it!)

Revelation 2: What does this mean? (health-wise)

Listen to this Ted Talk by an expert (medical professional).

youtube

This is the part where I got angry and really fucking sad. Let yourself be sad. Let yourself be furious. Our life is not our fault and we're still stuck with this lot.

Genuinely this was such a shock for me to realize. The thing that has the biggest impact on my life is not my anxiety, depression, ptsd, insomnia, blood pressure, immune health, etc. The root cause of my physical and mental illnesses is Adverse Childhood Experiences.

ACE is more common than you'd think. Acknowledging that what happened to you was bad will be beneficial to humanity's survival in the long run. Like any illness, ACE can be fought at a societal level.

Take a break. I recommend you don't progress to the next revelation until you've processed Revelation 2.

Take your time to be angry and sad. Take forever. You never have to forgive your abuser, even if they change their behavior. The chance at a civil acquaintanceship you might be willing to extend to your parents doesn't require your forgiveness.

Revelation 3: Why is your therapist recommending you retell your life story?

This one is mostly for when you have steady access to a therapist. Here are some things I wish I'd known before seeking out therapy in the US.

(Is it shitty that you can't get therapy on your own terms when you're underage? Yes, it fucking is. To those of us who survived to adulthood: holy shit y'all. At 19 I felt like absolute fucking bullshit, like my brain was a burning ball of tangled barbed wire. It does feel absolutely shitty. But reaching 19 is an achievement.)

The thing is, I do or say a lot of things that I later come to think of as embarrassing, inappropriate, or in certain circumstances, potentially abusive. Genuine trigger reactions happen. I will always have to live with a piece of my parents in my head. But I don't want to do to another person what they did to me. Self-awareness is what separates me from my abusers.

What to do about this? Number 1: chill out. You're not gonna be your abuser. Humans are unique and imperfect. They have not replicated themselves in you. It's okay to make mistakes when you're talking or reacting. Your brain is fucked up. You can do something differently next time.

Number 2: read this article about Overthinking, Over-apologizing, Oversharing, and Overwhelmed as trauma responses.

Then read this article on how to deal with Unresolved Trauma.

Yeah. It be like that. Isn't it fucked up? Recognizing the four Os in my behavior helped me realize I'm not an antisocial asshole by default.

Unresolved trauma is the root cause for my behaviors that I think of as unhealthy. This revelation happened very recently for me. Before this point in time, I couldn't understand why I would want to recount traumatic events in therapy.

At this point in time, I have regular access to a therapist I'm okay with. Going over memories and deconstructing the blame system seems like a reasonable thing to try.

What happened to you as a child is not your fault. You're not the one who landed yourself in your life. You've been given an unfairly difficult situation to be responsible for. You did not create your coping mechanisms for shits and giggles.

So yeah. Number 3: figure out your life with the help of a therapist. Let's see where we are ten years later or something.

Nothing is easy and everything is confusing. Take a break, hydrate, eat, sleep, do something nice for yourself. Do something you like doing. Thanks for reading.

#child abuse #domestic abuse #trials of apollo #mental health #life advice #my thoughts #resources #therapy #Youtube

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foreverbase1 · 2 days

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¢αℓℓ мє ωнєη υя ℓσηєℓу ❣ Sung Hanbin

❥𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Sung Hanbin x gn!Reader

❥𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.9k

❥𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: some Fluff?, mostly Angst, On and Off Relationship

❥𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Mentions of food, pet names (sweetheart) and a toxic relationship

❥𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠: call me when ur lonely by Alaina Castillo

❥𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: ZB1 (mentioned)

❥𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: Reader and Hanbin have an on and off relationship, but reader doesn't want to end things with Hanbin despite how toxic their relationship has gotten.

𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝, 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬! <𝟑

"𝘾𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙡𝙮, 𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙮. 𝘾𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙢𝙚, 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙚"

Your relationship with Zerobaseone's Sung Hanbin was.....confusing. You both attended the same university and you had actually supported him throughout the entirety of his time on Boys Planet, making sure to vote for him every single time.

You two were......friends? Something more? You weren't sure. You two hit it off well when you first met and became close friends with each other, sharing secrets even some of your other friends and even his group members didn't know about. And that's also how your on and off relationship began.

He loved you, you knew that, and you loved him. Probably more than he loved you now that you thought about it. But due to his strict schedules, leader status and especially his career choice made it difficult to maintain a proper romantic relationship. Of course, this isn't to say he wasn't romantic, cause he was. He'd buy you flowers, buy you gifts and even make you breakfast in the morning. He was a walking green flag, but that's what also hurt at the same time.

Due to his career choice, he'd sometimes say you two needed a break and you'd suddenly have no contact with him for days, weeks and sometimes even months. During these times, you were at your lowest, it was funny and pathetic. He was able to function well without a second thought, meanwhile, you practically fell into a slump.

But then when Hanbin would finally get time to spend with you again, he'd call you and your relationship would suddenly be fixed and pieced back together as if you two never even took a break at all. You didn't care that your relationship was being weakly held together by duct tape, cause no matter how hard you tried, you could barely function without Hanbin.

It was odd, you were never like this with past relationships. After all, you'd break up, feel sad about it for maybe a few weeks and then you'd get back up and move on. But with Hanbin it was different, he was like the best thing that happened to you and was the only thing lighting up your typically boring life. It was pathetic. You felt pathetic, needing him just to function like a normal human being.

Your friends all could see how drained you were of it and how badly you just wanted the relationship to be a permanent thing. No on and off relationship, no breaks for days, weeks or even months. Just a relationship where you had him, where you had full contact at all times. But you (and them) knew that could never happen. Cause Hanbin was out there living his dream and you knew that, you supported that. But at the same time, it was making you fall apart and the duct tape was slowly peeling off.

"𝙁𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙨 𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩. 𝙄 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄 𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚, 𝙨𝙤 𝙄'𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙝𝙢𝙢"

You sighed to yourself, as another month came to a close. 4 months and still no contact from Hanbin. Well, you couldn't entirely be sad, he was living his dream, and you supported that dream! You couldn't be selfish.

You sat on your bed, scrolling through your different social media's. You followed all official ZB1 accounts, in order to make sure you were supporting Hanbin at all times. When you had the time and weren't needing to study, you'd also attend concerts. But you'd never attend fan meets, cause Hanbin strictly told you not too. You desperately wanted too, just so you could see him during your no contact periods of your weird relationship with him, but you respected his boundaries and knew you couldn't. You couldn't risk his career after all.

You always watched edits of him made by fans and watched all clips and videos uploaded. Anything to fill that emptiness that Hanbin always left you with every time you two went on a break. "You're pathetic, Y/N" You laughed at yourself, shaking your head. You knew that what you and Hanbin had was toxic, it wasn't healthy by any means, you deserved better and you knew that. But you just couldn't bring yourself to end things permanently. You just couldn't.

And that's when your prayers were answered, your phone making a loud "ding ding" sound and the screen lighting up with a text from Hanbin. Your heart immediately began beating faster as you read it. "Wanna meet up, sweetheart?" The text read and you immediately replied, getting up to get prepared.

"𝘿𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙪𝙥 '𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙙𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙪𝙥 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙡𝙛 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙩𝙤𝙪𝙘𝙝, 𝙄'𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜"

And that's how you ended up here. At a café not too far from your apartment, wrapped in his arms and his scent. The scent you missed so much. It fulfilled your emptiness that filled your body and you felt energized and like you could take on the entire world.

You immediately drowned out the part of your brain that was thinking rationally, telling you not to get too comfortable cause you could be waiting another long time just to be this happy again. But you didn't care, not right now, you were in his arms and you were taking in all of the love he was giving you. Like the lovesick fool you were.

"How have you been, sweetheart?" He smiled down at you, with you still encased within his arms. You smile up at him, your hands resting on his chest. "I've been good" You lied, but he didn't need to know that. Truth be told, you wanted to tell him everything, about how you so badly wanted to be a permanent thing and just be his for the rest of time and how he'd be yours for the rest of time. But you were thinking selfishly again and you can't do that, Y/N.

"Good, i missed you" He said, pecking your lips and you felt your heart flutter. It felt so nice to see him again, you loved this and you were going to savour every moment you had with him right now.

"𝙈𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙚 𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙢𝙚. 𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙗𝙤𝙙𝙮 𝙬𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙜𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙨, 𝙄 𝙩𝙧𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙙𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩'𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙮"

Hanbin and you sat in a booth at the far back of the café, away from prying eyes where you could spend time together peacefully. And to avoid any reporters or fans, so he says.

He listened intently as you talked to him about how the last 4 months have been. From how your classes were going, to things you did with your friends and how studying was going. The way he listened made you feel like the most blessed person in the world, he was the perfect boyfriend, a walking green flag and you were happy that you had him to yourself. Except, you were wrapped around his finger and not the other way around.

"𝙈𝙤𝙨𝙩𝙡𝙮 𝙄'𝙢 𝙡𝙤𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝙪𝙥 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙙𝙚𝙚𝙥, 𝙜𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙤𝙣"

Time flew by fast without you two realizing, and to your dismay, it was getting late already and now Hanbin's phone was blowing up from his members and manager asking where he was. "Sorry sweetheart, i have to get going. I promise i'll be in touch, like always, okay?" He smiled at you, kissing your lips before paying the bill and leaving without so much as a second glance back at you.

And there it was again, that emptiness filling up your body. You sigh to yourself, wiping away the single tear that managed to escape your eye. "It's okay Y/N, he said he'll been in touch, you won't have to wait long" You told yourself, mustering up a smile as you left the café and returned back home to your apartment.

The days flew by and a week had passed after your date with Hanbin and once again, you were back to no contact. He hadn't texted or called once like he said he would, but you couldn't think selfishly, after all he was living his dream and you supported it. Right Y/N?

"𝙄'𝙢 𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙫𝙚, 𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙮 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙣𝙤 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨"

You knew it was dumb to block out your rational thoughts and get your hopes up that this was it, it was the start of you and Hanbin being together forever. And now here you were, back into your normal routine and in that same slump he always left you in.

Your friends had grown tired of it too, they missed that fiery, passionate Y/N. The person who dreamed big and was putting their effort in to achieve that dream. But after Hanbin stepped into your life and made it more colorful, all that color quickly drained away and disappeared when he went incognito and you two went on breaks.

It hurt, you wore your heart on your sleeve and it was like you were wearing his too. At first, you were content with this dynamic in your relationship, it worked. He'd get busy and you'd have to find something else to distract yourself until his schedule became a bit more lenient and he could fit you into it and then it'd repeat itself and that's just how it'd be. But you slowly began to see it draining you more and more, along with that passion you once had going with it.

You started seeing the cracks begin to form in your relationship with Hanbin, began to see the darker side and how toxic this dynamic you two had truly was. But you didn't want it to end, you didn't want to lose him, so you began trying to keep it together. Cover the cracks and act like it wasn't falling apart before your eyes.

It was working.....until it wasn't anymore. And this realization came to you once more when your friend called, her voice stern. "You need to end things with Hanbin, and now you're going to listen." She said, starting the call off strong. You sat there, trying to hide your sniffles as you heard her ramble on.

"He is ruining you Y/N, this isn't healthy. You deserve someone better and he's only keeping this going because it's just a game to him, wake up and see the giant red flags Y/N." She continued, you couldn't deny she was raising good points. She was making you wake up and finally see how you needed to end it. For the better.

"𝘾𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙡𝙮, 𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚, 𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙚, 𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙚. 𝘾𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙡𝙮, 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙡𝙮, 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙡𝙮"

"Promise me you're going to end it with him, Y/N" She finally finished, and it was now silent. She awaited your answer and you sat there, sniffling to yourself with your phone sat on the desk in your room on speaker. You knew you should end it with him, you deserved better like she said you did and you deserved to find that passionate person in you again.

But before you could respond, your phone began vibrating again, Hanbin's contact appearing at the top of your phone and you felt the color return to your world again. "Y/N? Hell-" You hung up, answering Hanbin's call. "Hi sweetheart" He said, with a sweet and loving tone to his voice and you smiled, wiping away your tears as you stared at your reflection in the mirror. "Hi Binnie"

Your friend wanted you to promise you'd end it with him, block his number so he couldn't crawl back and move on. Find someone who could actually be there for you and bring back that passionate and fiery person all your friends so dearly loved.

𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵.

"𝘼𝙣𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙚"

𝐇𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝 <𝟑 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧

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