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#Somebody look at my rat
crossbackpoke-check · 11 months
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Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman
part one | part two
#me when everybody is posting the maple leafs sad narratives and i am furiously generating this like HOLD ONNNN HOLD ONNNNNNN#honestly i could've been SOOOO MEAN about this because i saw this poem & alexandra got the preview on the poetry blog#where i just reblogged the first half of this poem point blank with the tags#kyle dubas#toronto maple leafs#& got yelled at aksdaksf & it literally only didn't go on this blog bc i usually write more & then it was percolating & i looked up the poe#& it was only the FIRST PART i'd reblogged i didn't know there was more & then brain immediately went brrrrr ok time for an edit.#this is a long one lol & i also have no idea if it makes sense to anybody but me but because y'all know me i will always overexplain so!!#my reasoning for the reasons obvi kyle. that's a given i hope he's doing well i hope he & his family r good but man is not coming in to wor#the second edit took me a stupid amount of time bc i am nitpicky but also i learned how to do the layers & transparency from the claude edi#that actually y'all don't know about lmao but i lost my mind when i saw how perfectly those pictures align i was scrolling getty & was like#ok december i'm gonna do a headline one (in my brain with the november/june quote about choosing to die again) w/ maple leafs playoff odds#how they say at winter break you know who's gonna be in the playoffs & who'll win & they thought they had a shot but it's mitchie overlaid#the 2003-04 team who'd last won a playoff round with the atlantic division stats from dec for 22-23 & how long it's been & dec headlines#i wanted breakup/recent/never loved to be a recent trade acquisition somebody who bounced around & somebody else so i almost had simmer#brodie & zar but then i wanted to make murray for breakup at any time &i forgot zar & him were on the pens together &it hit me like a truc#bc there's a photo of the two of them EXACTLY the same so close it's scary of this one but them as pens so they had to be it & i did always#know never loved again was mitchie. sorry. also mitchie in the penalty box the last game but i couldn't find footage of it & this one works#no i could not find a photo of tyler bertuzzi fighting a leaf for a dog looked at me yes i tried.#i almost made the bunting photo jt but instead it's 'bunting a rat etc' anyway the one i really feel unhinged about is dead pets bc at firs#i was gonna make it the handshake line & look to see if the leafs had drafted anybody on the panthers (dead pet former draft pick)#& they had & it was carter verhaeghe & i couldn't get a good pic of matthews & verhaeghe but it's fine bc i thought about the mo/luke schen#narrative (in which they are a perfect d pair long lost) & schenn was drafted by the leafs & that line fits jut trust me. also how i feel#about the kniesy luminous line that one possessed me it had to be kniesy idk why. i almost put gussy as girls are too pretty though ALSO#did u like my joke. daylight SAVINGS time on the goalie. thank u. also my photo magic on the jt (me very poorly editing in him as an isle)#OK ALSO HOLD ONNNNN there is a part two but i have to wait for the Content i want it will come out as soon as [redacted] or sooner#if i get bad at waiting &everyone will pretend like it is always the way it will be once i have the photos i want. speaking of did the leaf#simply not take a team photo this year?? it Does Not Exist for me i have tried very hard to look for it also i'm excited for part 2#one of them is named oh you're so unhinged for this one & the finished product is you're unhinged in ways you didn't even know u were sorry#liv in the replies
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gleekidshooray · 1 year
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People thought I went on vacation, but actually I spent the summer lost in the sewers.
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perlucidula · 1 year
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shojo rat
(transparent!)
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simptasia · 4 months
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about "ugly" people, people will often say like, ~true beauty is on the inside~ and yes, true but like. the stuff on the outside can also be considered beautiful. i like big noses. i like crooked teeth. fuck you
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nomaishuttle · 1 year
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every day i think I would love 2 watch a cute video of a little chihuahua. and then i see ppl purposefully stressing their dog out and laughing and filming when the dog is visibly afraid or aggressive. and it makes me so mad i see red
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becca-alexa · 9 months
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for the love of god don't ever think you're doing somebody a favor by taking off their glasses while they sleep
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thesoundofmadness · 1 year
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anyway I'm an amazing artist
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penisliker-moved · 1 year
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CHIHUAHUAS R SO IMPORTANT OK!!!!! THEEEE BEST DOGS IMO....
#im biased bc i had s chihuahua mutt. but like genuinely#ppl who HATE chihuahuas and other small dogs#what the avtual fuck is wrong with you. get a life#'THEY LOOK LIKE RATS !!!' ok so do u ugly. at least th chihuahua doesnt ALSO have a shitty personality#whatever#im so passionate sbt chihuahuas i love them sm they deserve th world#and.like. its fine to not like them its fine to prefer other dog breeds#but the fucking Hatred you guys have for a little fucking animal. whats wrong with you. GET A LIFE!!!#like th favt that bringing uo chihuahuas. 80% of th time somebody will be like haha yeah ^-^ I wanna run a chihuahua over i wanna strangle#one. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!! THERES NO FUCKJNG WORLD IN WHICH THATS FUCKING NORMAL.#PPL WILL JUST FUCKING SAY IT THO AJD THEN SMUGLY LOOK ST YOU LIKE. WHAT! WHAT! WHAT!#i have problems with social cues fuckjng believe me but if somebody mentions their beloved childhood dog im not gonna tell them#abt my weird fantasy of brutally murdering that entire dog breed. thats fucking freak behavior#Cnnyou tell this hss happened 2 me. multiple times#like maybe im judt oversensitive bc my dad hurt my dog a lot. But i judt dont see how its funny. Like at all#even if i didnt have like. a history of trauma surrounding chihuahuas specifically being abused. Its still fucking weird.#ive never had a golden retriever but if somebody talked ovsessively abt wanting to kill one thats Also fucking gross and disgusting#and everybody would agree. why sre chihuahuas the fucking exception. whatever#animal abuse#animal desth#a2t#sry.
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fangisms · 10 months
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summertime at the burrow
A/N: i want to be an honorary weasley please im literally begging. notice me molly weasley
Pairings: Best Friend!Fred Weasley x Fem!Reader
Summary: Fred finally invites his best friend home over summer holiday. Neither of you expected it to go so well. 3.7k words.
Warnings: fluff, best friends to lovers, ungodly amount of shenanigans, friendly bullying/teasing, mud wrestling, kissing, (friendly) violence, pet names (trouble, snookums, sugarplum, sweetheart), cursing, borderline frog abuse
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"Good morning, trouble."
You hop into the seat next to him that he’d been saving for you. In fact, he’d been saving it for you since the first time you plopped down beside him after the sorting hat declared your house first year. You laughed when he shook your hand. He thought you had the cutest smile. Then you teased him for his devilish charm and he called you catty, and you’ve been teasing each other ever since.
"Are you packed and ready?” He sounds more worried than that time he nearly shattered his collar bone during a vicious Quidditch scrimmage. “We're leaving bright and early tomorrow. Mum says she's preparing a hearty lunch for our guests." Fred scarfs down the rest of his breakfast and turns to look at you to find you're looking back at him in bewilderment.
"Somebody's excited," you tease, ruffling his fiery locks and glancing over at George with a grin.
"If you think this is bad, you should see him before winter holidays," George huffs.
“I have.”
Fred rolls his eyes at you and you jab him in the side.
"Where are the lot of you off to?" Lee perks up from across the table, setting his plate down and wiggling his way between Alicia and Angelina.
"I finally got my honorary invite to the Weasley burrow this summer," you chirp, wrapping your arm over Fred's shoulders and leaning him into your side.
Lee cocks a brow and smirks at a suddenly and uncharacteristically shy Fred. "Well, it's about time! You've only been dating for—"
You shake your head. "No, not dating, Lee. I swear we've been over this—"
"Oh, we've been over it plenty. I just choose to ignore wicked witches when they lie—!"
You practically leap across the table with your teeth gritted to grab for his robes when you're stopped by the laughing twins holding you back from tearing into him. "Lee Jordan, you take that back right now, or so help me your mother will wonder why your hair's gone purple!"
"I'm not going to apologize for being lied to!"
"Let me at him! I'm trying to defend my honor here!"
"Miss—young lady!”—McGonagall appears behind you, sending you into shock and barreling back onto the bench—“Settle down! You're frightening the first years, and we typically prefer they come back in the fall."
"Apologies, professor, I was simply trying to have a friendly discussion with my classmate," you say, gesturing to Lee who smiles begrudgingly.
"Right, well, from now on, let's have our discussions from across the furniture, not on top of it." She wanders away, and you turn to stick your tongue out at Lee who is doubled-over and cackling at your being caught.
“I hope you know, we’re going to receive the same third-degree from my dear mother,” Fred mumbles in your ear. His heart races when you turn to him, a playful glint in your eye. You blink sweetly and rest your hand on his knee when he tucks his arm around your lower back. “But don’t worry, sugarplum, it’s never too late to try.”
He winks. Your eyes go wide, and you shove at his shoulder with a chuckle disguised by a scoff.
“Scabbers not the only rat in the Weasley family, I see.”
“That is exactly what I’m talking about, there’s no way you two are just friends—”
A slice of ham sticks to Lee’s cheek with a cold, wet slap as you eye him from across the table.
“Don’t listen to him, snookums, he just doesn’t understand our complicated arrangement,” Fred says, nudging your cheek with his nose and holding back laughter.
“Gross,” George mutters, grinning before he’s met with the same lunchmeat backhand his friend so rudely received. “Suppose I could’ve predicted that one.”
You wipe the sweat from your brow, slinging your carry-on over your shoulder before bending down to pick up your trunk. You’re trailing behind most of the rest of the group, just a few steps behind the twins while their younger siblings charge ahead through the field with Harry and Hermione. Fred checks in with you every couple of meters, making sure you don’t need any serious medical attention.
Once the twins breach the front door, you take a seat outside on your trunk, fanning yourself with your hand and throwing your head back. Then you hear:
“Fred, you better get out there and help that poor girl with her things!”
“Sorry, mum!”
You chuckle when he appears in the doorway moments later, winded as ever, hair plastered to his forehead, and still grinning wildly as he jogs over.
“What’s a lovely young lady like yourself doing outside all alone on such an unbearably hot afternoon?”
“Sweating like swine.”
“Ravishing,” he teases, shooing you off the suitcase, “head inside, mum’s absolutely itching to meet you.”
So you do. You can see her welcoming her children and their friends alike, and it fills you with the warmth of fresh gingerbread and the nerves of a teenage boy during school dance season.
“My dear!” she coos, arms outstretched even though a thin year of sweat coats every inch of your body, even though you’ve been wearing these clothes for a day, and even though you’re breathing heavy like a dog. She’s got her arms outstretched like you’re family.
“I’ve heard so much about you from Fred, and, goodness, you’re even prettier than he said you’d be!” —She gasps when he walks through the door, hauling your trunk in tow—“Don’t tell him I told you.”
“It’s been five minutes and you two are already sharing secrets about me. Only seven more days, Freddie,” he mumbles, setting the trunk down with a thud.
“Oh, well! It’s wonderful to finally meet you, dear, Ginny will show you to your room and lunch will be ready once you’re all settled!”
“Thank you, Mrs Weasley—”
“Oh, none of that, call me Molly.”
Your brows knit when she smiles at you so gently before making her way back to the kitchen.
“Thank you, Molly!”
Fred hops up from where he’d been relaxing on an armchair, clapping you on the arm with a reassuring smile.
“Everything processing alright up there?”
You nod.
“Peachy. Now give me a smile, you’re scaring me.”
You squint at him and pinch his arm, simpering when he hisses and swats your dry-gulching fingers away.
“That’ll do!”
“We’re up this way,” Ginny chirps as she rushes by and tugs you by the hand up the stairs.
Fred watches after you, rubbing his arm with a mean look on his face just before his playful resentment fades and his affections settle into the apples of his cheeks. This is going to be a long seven days.
Fred had never invited anyone to stay at the burrow. He preferred the company of his close family and whoever his mother deemed Weasley-enough herself. But he’d been saving this invitation. It stewed in the back of his mind for years before he mustered up the courage to offer it to you.
Ridiculous. That’s how it sounded in his head: ridiculous. If he wanted to ask you, he should have done it at the first chance. That’s what Fred would do. But he could never bring himself to get the words out whenever he swore to himself today would be the day. Because you’d just look at him with those damned doe eyes—you’d test his boundaries and make him all gushy inside—and it was like he was suddenly turned to a tongue-tied and pathetic halfwit.
And now here you are. An unofficial part of his family. But nevertheless a part of it. You’d found the annual Weasley strawberry-picking trip to be wonderful despite Fred pulling cheap pranks on you and the fact that it was basically sweltering outside. When you returned, you all spread out in the family room with bowls of the dewy berries in each of your laps. Everyone claimed a seat while you and Fred were forced to share the hardwood floor. You ended up tossing the small fruits into each other’s mouths with your legs laid across his thighs.
At one point, he lands one of the berries down your blouse. Almost immediately, he starts to laugh, clutching his chest while you gawk at him.
“You better start running, trouble.”
He gulps and scampers to his feet before scurrying out the front door. You take off after him, shouting curses into the wind when he rounds a corner.
You follow his footsteps but he’s nowhere to be seen.
“I swear, if I ever get my hands on you—”
He grabs your waist from behind you, dipping down to whisper in your ear. “You can put your hands on me whenever you’d like, sugarplum—”
“Merlin’s Beard, Fred! You scared the shit out of me!”
You jolt away, and he thinks you look genuinely angry this time. But he smiles and your features soften. Then you’re after him again, bounding into the tall grass with an uproar of laughter.
You spend the next few days of your vacation trying to beat Ron at chess then deciding it may be better if you and Harry team up to try and beat Ron at chess. You also take Ginny and Hermione shopping while the gaggle of boys trail behind the three of you grumbling and whining about missing their beloved Quidditch game.
You offer to help Molly with every meal, and she only accepts once you convince her your desserts are a crowd favorite back home. She’s proud to say she’s impressed, and she grows even prouder when you admit you adore big families like hers and see at least two kids of your own in your future.
Arthur takes a liking to you after you listen to him rave about the kind of items muggles use day-to-day and how fascinating their modern technology has become in recent years. He’s thrilled to find you actually take interest in his tinkering and collections and whatnot.
But most of all, you spend your time at the burrow with Fred. He steals you away after meals and keeps you up late to teach you his favorite charms. One overcurious evening finds you two perched together on the bathroom floor whispering and giggling while you brush a bold smokey-eye onto his eyelids. Let’s just say dinner that night was nothing short of hilarious: a look that Fred will never live down.
On the fifth morning, you jostle him awake. He whines about the sun not even being up yet while you drag him down the steps and shove your socked feet into an extra pair of rubber boots.
“What’s the bucket for?” he whispers, traipsing down the path along the side of the house when you stop dead in your tracks.
“Shh!” You press your gloved finger to his lips. A chorus of croaks erupts from the marsh beside the house. Nothing out of the ordinary for Fred, in fact that sound had often soothed him to sleep. But there’s a dangerous glint in your eye that tells him you’re on a mission.
“Can’t we do this when the sun is up? It’s cold and I’m tired—”
“The faster we catch ‘em, the faster we can go back to bed,” you whisper as your boot sinks into the edge of the muddy body of water. He sighs and sinks in next to you with his hands on his hips.
“I can’t believe you’ve convinced me to do this. You’re lucky you’re so pretty or you’d never get away with anything.”
You purse your lips and wade a little further out, looking out at the cooly rippling water beneath the sliver of sunrise.
“Yes, I would,” you say, quietly but so matter-of-fact he’s inclined to believe you.
Just then you spring into action, shoveling a small frog into your bucket with a victorious grunt. A few minutes later, he shuffled over to you and lowers his cupped palms into your bucket: three more frogs settle down into the center with a wet plop. You beam up at him, and it’s worth the early morning trouble to see you so happy and have you so close.
“So what do you plan on doing with these poor creatures once we’re done?”
You sit on the bank of the waterbed, sighing and setting the bucket beside you. He watches you from the water while you examine the small blob of darkness in the center of your palm. The bottom of the bucket is lined with croaking frogs, and the sun is well above the horizon, dousing the sky in soft pink and warm rose.
“I’m going to let them go.”
He lets out a sharp breath, hands falling to his sides, leaving streaks of mud down his tee shirt.
“You’re joking.”
You look up at him. You’re not joking.
“No,” he huffs. “You did not drag me out of my nice, warm bed to catch a million slimy frogs in the freezing cold dark just to let them go again.”
“Oh, but I did.” You’re crazy, he thinks. You’re crazy and it’s the most adorable thing he’s ever seen. Doesn’t make you any less crazy, though it might make him much less sane.
You set the frog down in the grass and leave the bucket tipped over. The small creatures immediately flood out from the splotchy tin opening into the newborn daylight and the crisp morning air. You stand and wipe your hands against each other a few times, scrunching your nose and finally meeting his eyes again.
“What’s wrong, trouble? Cat got your tongue?”
You grin.
“You know, one of these days, I’m going to say ‘no’ to you, and it’ll be a rude awakening.”
Fred walks past you like he’s really mad. Like it was an uncrossable line and you treated it like the tape at the end of a marathon. He’s hulking back towards the house when you grab his wrist to get his attention.
“What?”
But you don’t look sad. You don’t look pitiful or hurt. You look like you’re scheming, and it drives him crazy. As if he could ever say ‘no’ to you.
“You think I’m pretty,” you coo, batting your lashes just to get on his nerves. His breath hitches, and he feels warm despite the nipping cold of the morning.
“Unrelated.”
You drop his hand and cross your arms over your chest with a pout. He continues leisurely toward the burrow, tossing his gloves to the ground with a huff of hot air.
“Fred?” you call. And you sound worried, so he’s compelled to whip around. But when he does, he’s met with a rude awakening.
It was a misstep. A silly mistake, the wrong footing. Easily avoidable, and yet he didn’t avoid it. So he’s ass-first into a mud puddle with you shrieking in laughter about a meter away.
“You’re awful,” he grumbles, both hands propping him up and seeping into the thick mud as seconds tick by.
“I’m sorry! Freddie, I’m so sorry,” you cackle, taking a few steps toward him with tears of joy in your eyes. “But you should have seen your face!”
“Help me up,” he says, shaking his head and wiping his hand down his pajama pants before holding it outstretched to you. You grab it and tug enough to leverage him out of the muck. But he doesn’t budge. And in that moment, your eyes are filled with fear. Then, with one jolt, you topple down into the mud right beside him.
“Fred!”
“An eye for an eye, sugarplum.”
You push yourself up onto your hands to find your entire front is caked in mud, the mess narrowly avoiding your chin and above.
“You’re going to pay for that.”
“Oh, bring it on,” Fred teases.
You smirk just before a handful of mud is smeared across his chest by your slippery glove.
“Your move, trouble.”
He shakes his head and chuckles, looking down at the abstract art work fondly. But not quite fondly enough to hold himself back. His fingers dig into the puddle determinedly just before patting the top of your head with it like a stray dog. You squint your eyes closed and groan before peeking one eye open and coating his cheek in mud.
You make it to your feet and Fred hurls a ball of mud at your ass but he misses and it lands in the grass in front of you. You bolt around the back of the house, but he hurls a hunk towards your shoulder blade. You yelp and shout at him:
“You’re supposed to be a gentleman!”
“I’ll show you a gentleman, sweetheart,” he hollers it just before he catches up to you. You squeal and nearly slip on a slick patch of grass, but before you can leap out of his reach, he grabs your upper arm and presses you against the tree just behind your back.
“That’s not playing fair, Freddie, I’ve got nowhere to run,” you say, breathlessly grasping at the edge of his shirt with a tired smile. He chuckles and plants one palm against the bark beside your head, bringing the other hand to cup the side of your neck.
“You don’t need to run anywhere,” he mumbles, “just stay here.” The dried mud on the pad of his thumb draws a swipe of dirt down your cheek. Your fingers curl around his wrist and your lips part sweetly when he leans in.
“Time to come inside, you two! Breakfast is ready!”
Your eyes go wide when he leans his forehead against the tree with a grumbled curse.
“I suppose I am quite peckish!” you chirp, dragging him along behind you all the way to the front door. You leave your boots and gloves outside and brush some of the dried dirt from your pajamas.
You sit across from him at breakfast and catch him stealing glances at you every so often. With a mouth full of food, you wink at him with a dirt-smeared face and almost make him spit out his juice when you kick him under the table. George teases the two of you about wrestling in the mud while Molly scolds Fred about tracking it into the house.
Before long, you’re facing the final night of your stay. You’d been dreading the end since the beginning, and now that it’s here, you’re heartbroken. It’s been nothing but fun and you’ve never felt so wonderfully vulnerable with so many people around.
But the thing you’ll miss most is Fred. He could sense you pulling away the last couple of days. Trying to shield yourself from the impact of reality. No matter how hard he tried to cheer you up, he knew nothing could stop you thinking about how much packing up and leaving would hurt.
With your things splayed out across the floor of your temporary room, you had started packing hours ago but kept finding ways to distract yourself and avoid the idea of leaving altogether.
“Need any help?” Fred knocks on the doorframe, leaned against it and wearing the blue jumper you once told him he looked best in. You smile up at him from the floor.
“No,” you huff, “but some company would be nice.”
He perks up and shuffles around your belongings to plant himself on the edge of the bed. You had made the bed up nicely, tucked the duvet and set the pillows out nicely. He told you you didn’t have to, but you did it anyways.
After a few minutes of folding and refolding the same shirt, you stand from the floor and join him on the bed. He’s leaned back onto his elbows when he nudges your foot with his. You nudge him back but don’t turn to look at him. So he sits up and bumps you with his shoulder.
“I’m going to miss you,” he says, fussing with the edge of your shorts to distract himself, “Being here, I mean. As a part of our family.”
You smile down at his fiddling fingertips and inch closer, looking at him with this half-sad, half-happy look that has him confused and hopeless and head over heels and confused.
“I had a really, really nice time,” you whisper, leaning your head onto his shoulder and letting your eyes drift closed.
“So…”
You chuckle and smile to yourself, “So…?”
You sit up when the floor rattles a little, a thudding coming from the room below you. Then George shouts.
“Get it over with already!”
You both look at each other and giggle. Fred leans back again and you watch him tilt his head back and let out a sigh. His chest rises and falls beneath that damned blue sweater, and you trace your fingertips over his knuckles. He lifts his head and smiles cheekily at you, like he knows what’s going on inside your head. Like he has any idea. And for once, you think he might be pretty close.
You practically tackle him to the bed, smiling against his mouth when he cradles your face in one hand and rests the other on your waist where your shirt had ridden up from the ruckus.
You pepper soft kisses over his blushing face, leaving faintly glossy lip prints on his cheeks and nose and forehead and a stray one on the column of his neck. He goes slack against the bed, satisfied and content and happy all because of you. But still, he lazily opens his eyes and grins mischievously and says:
“Took you long enough.”
You smack your hand against his chest just hard enough to warn him.
“Oh, you’re trouble, Weasley.”
He cups your hand against his warm chest and his smile ebbs from mischief to something not as easily recognized. Something that makes him shy and pink thanks to the girl who likes the freckles across the bridge of his nose in the summer and his hands even when they’re covered in mud. Love that makes him much less sane for the girl who might just be crazy for loving him back.
And all of it makes him hold your hand and lean up to kiss you one more time.
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cherry-cola-on-ice · 12 days
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Slashers with a sleepwalking s/o
AN: totally based off my personal experiences sleepwalking lol asked my friends and family what their favorite sleepwalking episode was.
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Jason Voorhees 🏕
Jason is already paranoid AF about you unknowingly wandering into a trap during the day.
But the first time he comes across you in the woods at night? When you should be asleep?
He is not a happy man. Many thoughts run through his mind. Are you trying to leave him? Trying to get yourself hurt? Would you rather die then be with him?
It takes him a good while and a lot of explaining for him to understand what's happening. That your not intentionally doing this. Science shit™️
He sets up a system. Maybe a bell or two. Something loud to let him know where you are. Maybe some trip wires.
Strangest thing he's seen you do: He watched you eat a entire sleeve of saltines while standing in the shower.
Michael Myers 🎃
Michael's seen some shit. So this is nothing. All those years in Smiths Grove have prepared him for this. So you sleepwalk? Cool, his neighbor at Smiths Grove used to eat cockroachs.
That being said, the closer you're relationship grows, the more worried he becomes. What if you fall down the stairs? What if you wander into the road? What if, what if, what if??
He doesn't have the foresight to set up traps, like Jason does.
Uses his fucked up sleep schedule to his advantage and often stands over your sleeping body. Jumpscare.
Will definitely tie a bell on you while you sleep. Totally not a collar what are you saying? Don't make it kinky.
The strangest thing he's seen you do: Put all of the remotes in the refrigerator because they needed batteries.
Thomas Hewitt 🥩
Poor sweet man. You're going to give him a heart attack one of these days.
However, he's probably one of the more better prepared of the lot. His house is set up to keep people in and out. So there isn't much danger you can get into.
Unless he forgets to lock up the basement. Which has happened once. And only once. You were fairly unharmed if not a little traumatized.
Has taken to locking your bedroom door. Also installs like 10 latches. AND puts a bell on the doorknob. And maybe sometimes you.
Look, he's already scared of losing you to somebody else, he doesn't want to have to worry him losing you to you.
Strangest thing he's seen you do: Him, Monty and Hoyt sat and watched you stand in front of the sink for a hour and a half. Just standing there. Menacingly
Brahms Heelshire 🐀
Oh, poor baby is confused. Especially at the start of your situation-ship. You don't know he's there, you just think you're babysitting a doll for a sad old couple. Not their grown ass son who lives in the walls.
The first time Brahms finds you sleepwalking, he's pissed. You trying to leave him, he knows you are. But... did you just snore?? Wait, you're asleep. He feels a little better about the situation.
Until you start walking towards the stairs. Boy's never moved so fast in his life. He knows if he wakes you up it's game over. So he gives you a gentle nudge back to your room.
Now after you find about the rat man in the walls, things are different. Brahms, even in the deepest REM cycle, will never let you go. Man is a koala and you are the tree he's clinging to for dear life. It's almost impossible to escape his arms at night.
Almost makes you sleep in the walls instead of the bedroom so you're safer. Like ain't no way you're getting out of those without him waking up.
Strangest thing he's seen you do: Sat up in bed, complaining about the maracas in your mouth??? He cried.
Billy Lenz 🎄
World's worst caretaker 👑
Especially before yall start dating because, at that point in time, he's still trying to decide if he wants to kill you. He won't lie, he very briefly thought about pushing you down the stairs.
But? After you win him over? Yeah still kinda sucks ass at keeping you from hurting yourself. He'll keep you alive, mind you, just a little worse for wear.
He asked you once if he could tie you down in bed. You didn't like the look in his eyes so you declined. Billy pouted for the next three days.
TBH he might do it anyways. Look he's just trying to keep your silly little self safe, S/O. Get your mind out of the gutter. Haha, jk...unless 😏?
The strangest thing he's seen you do is eat a entire bag of gummy bears while standing outside. He joined you.
Vincent Sinclair 🖌
Another prepared king 👑
His workshop is dangerous. Upstairs is dangerous. The whole town is health code violation. And bby cannot stand the idea of you hurting yourself.
But other then the constant anxiety that you'll some how end up falling off the stairs or falling into the wax or the any other number of things his brain comes up with, he's very level-headed.
Child safety locks. He buys that shit in bulk.
But hey, gives him a excuse to hold you at night. (Vincent, they're literally your s/o)
The strangest thing he's seen you do is stand over Bo's bed, chanting tomato. Bo almost cried.
Bo Sinclair 🔧
Definition of "Look at that idiot...oh wait that's my idiot!"
Honestly, probably the worst. Not like 'let's you just walk around' worst, but more like 'Imma gonna chain you to the bed' worst.
Dude's so scared of losing you, pretty much the best thing that ever happened to him, that his willing to go to drastic matters to keep you safe.
Don't try to explain the science behind it, you'll only give him a migraine. Just let him keep you safe. K, bby?
Bo's gonna lose sleep some nights, he's that scared. No doubt you will wake up to the feeling of someone watching you. Just comfort him, ok?
Strangest thing he's seen you do is sit up in bed and start singing 'Livin La Vida Loca'
Asa Emory 🪲
Number one prepared king™️
I'm not saying he may or may not, kinda sorta perhaps placed cameras around your living situation before you two even began dating. But yeah he did.
So he knows all about the crazy shenanigans you are up to at night.
He reads the books, watching online lectures 👏all👏the👏research. You can bet your sweet ass he knows exactly how to wake you up in case of emergency.
In the same breath, despite how much he does love you, science. Prepare to be studied like a bug under a microscope.
Strangest thing he's seen you do is standing with the refrigerator doors open, telling him how much you love this show.
Norman Bates 🚿
My poor sweet innocent murder bby. He doesn't know what to do.
Yeah, keep you safe, he's got that much down. But at what cost?
The hotel looks like a a daycare center now. Baby proofing everywhere (ask him about getting locked out of the bathroom, it's funny)
Suggested a collar once as a joke, wasn't expecting you to agree. Got flustered. Dropped his cup, maybe got a bone.
Another koala sleeper, so good luck escaping his embrace. Will go as far as following you to the bathroom to make sure you're actually awake.
Strangest thing he's seen you do is sit down in a fake potted plant in the living room and talk about dinosaurs.
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skatingbi · 5 months
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So hear me out on my headcanon guys:
Sanji with heterochromia (i cant spell that fuckin word man..) where one eye is blue and another is brown. He always hides the blue eye.
The first one to notice is Zoro, who is immediantly like "holy shit youre eyes are pretty" and sanji is like "what the FUCK"
Actually fuck it im gonna write about this nobody can stop me.
Sometimes, on lonley nights in the gallery, when Sanji is busy prepping, he looks in the reflection of his knife. Underneath the frizzy mess of a fringe that is part of his hair reveals the blue eye he struggles looking at. He stares, scrutinizing that light blue in the gleam of his knife gripped tightly in his hand. He looks away to force his attention back on prep work. His hands are always slightly unsteady after those moments. He always ends up with a cut on his hand one way or another on those nights.
When Sanji was a kid, his brothers would use his heterochromia as a weapon against him. He was the freak with two colored eyes. They would say his blue eye was creepy, too. Not only was he weak but also too different to be called their brother.
When you're a kid, you take these insults to heart. Eventually, when you're barely into adulthood, they'll still plague you. They become a part of you, just like how Zeff's teachings became a part of Sanji.
Judge looked at his eyes with disgust masked by indifference. It was another reason for Sanji to assume why he was the failure. The outcast. The runt of the litter.
His mother had blue eyes. She always claimed Sanji got his blue eye from her because her father had heterochromia, too. That was the only time little Sanji felt normal. When she died, Sanji started to grow out his hair to hide the only thing he had left of her: her eyes.
Now, Sanji still hides her eyes from view. Realistically, Sanji is fully aware that none of the crew would give a rats ass what he looked like. Regardless, old habits die hard. He feels safe under the mask he made for himself. As he goes about preparing lunch, perhaps grilled sea king again with how luffy is always eager to fight those things, he lets his mind wander to his eyes more. While hands expertly move through his knife like an extension of his body, he thinks about the mess of blond hair that's always in the way. He'd never admit it out loud, but his hair actually bothers him. Since it started growing out, it gets everywhere; his mouth, in his eyes, and tangled in the buttons of his shirt. Is sanji happy with his longer hair? Absolutely. It's a nusiance to leave it down constantly, though.
As he's thinking this, he's blowing the fringe of hair covering his face out of the way every so often so it stops tickling his nose. He continues to evenly slice through a portion of sea king meat until somebody, Nami he realizes immediantly, speaks up.
"Do you need a hair tie, sanji?" Nami asks sweetly. Her smile is radiant, as always, while she looks up from the map shes been studying. Sanji didnt even realize Nami came in and made the kitchen table into a study until now, but he doesnt dwell on it. Nami is welcome in his kitchen, after all.
"Oh no, thank you, Nami-swan! I think I just need a haircut soon," Sanji lies as he's moving through the kitchen. He gives Nami a quick smile before turning back to the meat on the cutting board and avoids Nami's gaze under the disguise of being busy. His lie wasn't as believable as he wanted it to be, especially when he's stumbling over his words while he is usually eloquent with them towards Nami and Robin.
"But until then, you should take one! I probably have hundreds lying around my room anyways," She says. It's a peace offering designed to be in Sanji's language of communication. It secretly says he's getting that hairtie whether he wants it or not, and Sanji is weak enough to accept the offering. He takes the hair tie with a grateful smile, wrapping it around his wrist and going back to his current task. Nami and Sanji work in comfortable silence after that, but the hair tie weighs on his wrist like a weighted bracelet.
A few days pass by. Through every single one, he stares at the hair tie in the morning. He really should tie his hair back. It reaches his shoulders for gods sake, and it keeps getting in his mouth - but that small part of him that clings onto grief like its all that he knows refuses to. He doesn't think he can bring himself to share the only part of himself that he truly loves deep down. What if the crew really thinks it's weird? What if his brothers are right?
These what if's roam in the back of his mind. They lurk just beneath the surface like an unknown predator hidden in murky water. He ignores it along with the anxiety that crawls up his throat every time he looks at his wrist.
Then, a week passes by. Now he's in his kitchen making a simple breakfast for his nakama. Franky, in particular, will enjoy this since his tastes lie within American style food most of the time. He focuses on seasoning the eggs, some of them cooked differently to cater to everyone's tastes. While he goes through the familiar and therapeutic motions of cooking, the door opens to reveal an annoying head of mossy hair and the steady noise of three swords bumping each other at the hip.
" Oi, go to sleep in your own bunk. I dont need you stinkin' up my kitchen while im trying to work." He utters without looking up from the stove.
"Why can't I just sleep here shit cook?" Zoro grunts. Sanji hears him shuffle around on the gallery's couch behind him. He's probably lying down, or maybe he'll sleep sitting up again, or maybe he'll watch Sanji cook. That's the most irritating one, which usually ends up with them fighting out on the deck one way or another.
"Because youre fuckin' annoying, get out."
"The hell I am, I'm taking a nap here."
"Oh my - You know what?" Sanji whips around to glare at Zoro, making sure the knife he was using is now in his hand to point at the source of his ire, "Fine, but if I hear a single snore out of you I'm kicking you into the ocean!" He threatens and turns around to finish up with breakfast. By now, all he has left is pancakes. The batter was prepped earlier, so now it's just focusing on pouring evenly. It's task that's menial but still important to him regardless.
His hair is covering his face too much. He tries to shake his head to flip it to the side. It falls back to where it was before he can pick the bowl of batter back up. He brushes it over his shoulder, and it simply flows back over it. He blows his hair out of the way, a classic move, but not even that works and he's slamming the bowl down on the counter before he can even stop himself and walks away from his work to grab the hairtie from around his wrist. In a few fluid motions, he ties his hair back haphazardly into a poor attempt at a low bun, but it's out of his face, and now he can focus.
He's too deep in concentration to even remember that he has heterochromia in the first place. Cooking lowers his guard unlike anything else in the world. The gallery acts like a safe space and cooking is his comfort. He still forgets, too, while calling for Zoro to get his lazy ass up to help since he's decided to loiter in his kitchen.
"Hey moss, if you're gonna laze around my kitchen, set the table for me." His request demand is met with a middle finger, which Sanji gladly returns as he walks over to the couch to kick Zoro on the stomach. The half asleep annoyance is now suddenly alert and glares at Sanji for a moment before it's quickly replaced with a look Sanji has yet to add to his mental notes he likes to call "Marimo Dictionary". Zoro's eyebrows are slightly raised, and his eyes glitter with something Sanji rarely sees. He's never been able to place a name on that look. Now he's confused. "What? Dont give me that youre tired crap youre not fuckin 10." He says.
Zoro is still looking at him, though, and now Sanji looks back with confusion because what the fuck is he-
Oh. His eyes.
Shit.
Sanji rips the hairtie out of his hair at light speed, probably pulling a few strands out by accident in the process but he could honestly care less when theres something more important. Like whatever the fuck just happened.
Before he can turn away and go set the table himself to distance himself from the marimo, Zoro's hand moves suddenly to grab his wrist, stopping him from running away.
"Wait, wait, hold on," Zoro pleads. And what the fuck. Zoro has never said anything like that and its fucking with Sanji's head because what the fuck. "You...uh." He continues in his signature graceless way. "Your eyes..." He pauses after that, sitting up and looking at Sanji, but not just looking, he's looking.
"Marimo," Sanji's own voice is riddled with anxiety with how shaky it is now. "Let me go dumbass," He demands but it could have been mistaken for him begging with how much he's struggling to keep himself together.
He's anticipating the worst. He knows what he's expecting. Sanji has experienced it countless times before, and he's aware he will again right now while a pancake is probably burning on the pan for all he knows.
It doesnt.
Zoro is looking at him still, maintaining eye contact but also darting between both eyes. He's looking at him like those golden eyes are looking into his soul and its too much.
It's too much because Zoro's response is uncharacteristically soft in so many ways. Zoro speaks to him like he's speaking with reverence, "Your eyes are beautiful."
Sanji shatters on the gallery floor there. His soul is bare for Zoro to see suddenly and that terrifies Sanji. Nobody has ever told him he's beautiful. Especially his eyes. He yanks his wrist from Zoro's grasp and speed walks to the stove to turn it off and remove the burnt pancake from the pan. He doesnt respond. He cant, not when his heart flutters when it should have been anchored down by rejection.
Then, Sanji walks up to Zoro, grabs onto both his shoulders, pushes him out the gallery door with surprisingly little resistance, and slams it shut. He leans against the door, sliding down until he's sitting on the floor with his head tucked between his knees. His face is burning and his face is probably red like a tomato right now. He stares at the ground with wide eyes and a weirdly giddy feeling in his chest and stomach nearly akin to happiness but also dangerously close to feeling freaked the hell out.
"What the fuck."
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dotster001 · 11 months
Text
Neutral End
Previous Chapters: One Two Three Choose Another Ending
"Congratulations Mister Ashengrotto," Grimm extended a paw to Azul.
Azul shook the paw with pride.
"I assure you I won't let you down," Azul said with a grin.
"See that you don't. The second your restaurant goes under, Y/N gets wind that you're a jerk behind their back, and Idia protected me from you," Grim said coldly.
"I would expect no less," Azul bowed with mock bravado, knowing full well that he would win the twins back before that could ever happen, and would have no issue subduing a tiny cat monster.
"Good, be ready and well dressed at Ramshackle by tomorrow evening. Do not cheap out on the dinner, or it's over for you before it's even begun," Grim snapped before scampering off.
….
"A blind date?" You asked, unconvinced.
"Yes, I just think that you and this other person would be great together!" Grim said, putting his hands on his hips.
"I don't know, Grim-"
"Listen, Y/N," Grim turned on his saddest kitty eyes, before crawling into your lap, curling into a ball, and purring, getting very happy when you started scratching behind his ears.
"Y/N, the two of us don't have any family here. And I just worry that you spend too much time focusing on my happiness, when you should take some time for yourself. What if, one day, when I'm the world's greatest sorcerer, I have to go far away from you? You'll be all alone! Sad and alone! And I couldn't live with myself if that happened."
Your scratching behind his ear faltered for a moment, and the two of you sat in silence. Grim turned his face more into your lap so you wouldn't see his triumphant grin.
"Okay Grim, if you're really sure about this…"
"Yes, Yes! I'm so sure!" He cupped your face with his paws, and nodded earnestly. "You'll be perfect together! I'll help you pick out an outfit!" 
.…
You stood outside Ramshackle with Grim, and stared out into the night. At exactly 6:30 pm, Azul emerged from the night, a shocked expression on his face.
"Prefect? Can it be you're my date?" He bowed deeply and said, "when Grim had told me to meet him at Ramshackle, I had assumed it was simply for convenience, not that I would have the honor of getting to date you."
You couldn't say you'd never thought about yourself and Azul as a power couple, but he was one of the last people you expected Grim to match you with. You'd make the most of it though.
….
"Azul, look, you're a great guy-"
"Oh sevens, you're friend zoning me,"Azul interrupted, his face turning a sickly shade of green.
"Let me finish," you smiled warmly and took his hand in yours.
"You're a great guy, and I can see a future with you, someday. But right now," you took a deep breath, "Grim gave me a lot to think about in terms of my place in this world. Right now, I need to get some footing, and take care of my little rat, before I can start dating you. Because you deserve better than that."
You kissed his cheek, gave his hand and firm squeeze, then pulled away and opened the front door to Ramshackle.
"Thank you for a lovely evening. I hope we can do it again someday, if some lucky somebody doesn't scoop you up," you said, before closing the door behind you.
Azul froze in place, and touched his cheek with trembling fingers. He thanked every one of the seven that Floyd and Jade were still pouting, because if they saw him now he had no doubt he would never hear the end of it.
"Someday," he whispered to himself, a lovesick smile on his face.
"It's a deal."
….
"How'd it go?" Grim asked excitedly.
"I thought I told you to be in bed by 10…"
"You're not the boss of me, henchhuman!" He shouted, before smiling brightly again. "How was your date?"
You sat down next to him, and scratched behind his ears.
"I had a lot of fun. Azul was a good choice for me. But we aren't going further, right now."
"What? Why?" Grim asked, sounding absolutely devastated.
You leaned down and nuzzled your nose against Grim's.
"Cause right now I only have room for one little man in my life. And I wanna make sure he's happy and achieves his dreams before I expand our family."
Grim sniffled, and wiped his nose with the back of his paw, looking away so you wouldn't see his eyes welling up.
"Whatever, you wanna die alone, that's your choice," he muttered half heartedly.
You giggled, before ruffling his fur. 
"Yup. Now come on, it's time for bed. Can't be the world's greatest mage if you fall asleep in class."
You hopped up, made your way up the stairs, and smiled when Grim quickly followed.
The End
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lovelytsunoda · 8 months
Text
slumber party // lance stroll
summary: when lances wife gets sick the morning of their daughters sixth birthday party, he offers to step in and play host. but of course, that’s before he finds out that it’s a slumber party, and he’s stuck with an army of six year olds until ten am the next morning.
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the party was planned down to every painstaking detail so that it was perfect
right down to the princess decorations they started putting up a day early to the disney cake that chloe was making herself
it was going to be perfect
until y/n wakes up on the morning of with a blistering headache and nausea
she thinks they’re going to have to call off the party. she’s in no condition to handle a group of children
until lance steps in. he’ll call esteban and mick and between the three of them, they should be able to run a party without a hitch, right?
wrong.
they all arrive at the same time, and when the girls go running into the naive living room and start setting sleeping bags up under the skylight, the panic in his eyes is evident
“did your wife not tell you it was a slumber party?”
“no, she did not.” he bites his lip, running his fingers through his hair. “but how hard can it be, right?”
The other mother just laughs before she goes back to her car
horrible decision, really, but he leaves esteban and mick in charge while he runs upstairs to check on y/n (and get more details on the slumber part of the party)
and when he comes back downstairs, the girls are crying and one of them is hiding under the couch
“i left you alone with them for five minutes, esteban! what did you do?”
esteban looks at the floor, and mick rolls his eyes.
“somebody thought it was a good idea to open the afternoon with scary stories.”
“esteban, they’re six!”
“one of the girls told him he looked like the rat from flushed away and he decided the best course of action was to tell her that the house was haunted and micheal meyers would get her in her sleep.”
“this house was built in 2017 and I’m pretty sure nobody died here!”
he puts on an old barbie movie, and the girls calm down enough that they sit on the floor to eat party mix and gummy bears while the boys go over the game plan in the kitchen.
“what did you like doing when you were six?” lance asks desperately “there has to be something!”
“karting.” esteban shrugs.
“i cannot take ten six year olds to the karting track.”
but that gives him a different idea
which is how they end up in the simulator room trying to load Mario kart instead of the fia approved programming
which turns into an all out war between the girls
well
more like the army of six year olds against estie lance and mick
lance definitely lets his daughter win
chloe drops by dressed head to toe like a disney princess and brings the cake
scotty brings pizza
please please please imagine lance giving all these little girls princess manicures
his daughter defo makes him wear a plastic tiara
when the kids finally conk out and go to sleep around nine thirty (and esteban because he’s fucking tired), he goes upstairs to check on his wife while mick starts to clean up
she’s curled up in bed with the dog, buried under blankets
but she could hear the laughter coming up through the floor
“the girls are having a great time, honey.” she says sleepily, pulling him into bed with her “you guys are doing a great job.”
“i know. but please, for the love of god, never leave me in charge of a slumber party again. also, you might need to explain to mike and my dad why a ton of six year olds were using the sim to play mario kart.”
TAGS
@magnummagnussen @libraryofloveletters @oconso @scuderiamh @sidcrosbyspuck @thatsdemko @httpiastri @clemswrld @diorleclerc @lorarri @cartierre
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qtboni · 8 months
Note
hi AGAIN.
ugh i cant get out of your fucking page. its like i live here like a rat
im back, hi, have another req bc i just thought of it and needed it in my veins.
how about some comfort from fatherfigure!price? like reader is sad kinda and he helps? maybe reader "accidentally" calls him dad, nothing to /srs
(im mentally okay i swear😭)
idk if you even do price tbh, i haven't seen it on your page tho
anyways i needed to write this somewhere or ill forget and like wither away into nothing or sum shit
im being dramatic. i think.
okay thats it bye bye dearest boni.
(sorry im constently blowing up your asks😭😭)
HAI LOVIE !! THIS WAS SO FUNNY TO WRITE AGHSHS ALSO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LOMG OMG.
╰﹒ 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐃 𝐔 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐄 ?
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PAIRING: Captain 'John' Price X Reader
C/W: comfort & humor! + gn!reader, explicit words, price playin' wit chu, somebody ate your cake (it was soap don't tell him tho /hj)
W/C: 1.3k
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"What's got you looking so down today, sergeant?" Captain Price asked in his usual stern voice as he entered the living room, noticing the dejected look on your face.
You had been sitting on the sofa for hours now, cleaning your holster and moping around. He approached you with a glass of water in hand.
"Somebody ate my cake," you slowly replied, your voice heavy with emotion. You didn't usually get sad over such small things, but today, you feel so tired.
"Are you telling me that you're this upset over a slice of cake?" he asked, a hint of amusement in his tone. Captain Price raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised to hear something like that coming from you.
"I guess I am," you said, your voice barely audible. You shrugged and looked down at your holster, not wanting to admit to being such a crybaby. "I was saving it for this specific rest day to ... indulge myself with sweets.."
Captain Price's expression softened as he placed the glass of water down next to you. He sat down on the sofa next to you and put an arm around your shoulders.
"Listen, sergeant," he said in a comforting tone, "It's okay to be upset about something. Everyone has their own quirks and things that are important to them. And in our line of work, we need to be able to deal with any situation and not let little stuff like this get us down."
"Thanks, Cap'," you said, a hint of embarrassment in your voice. You smiled at him, grateful for the reassurance.
"Any time," He replied with a soft smile. He then stood up and left the room, returning a few minutes later with two fairly large cookies, handing it to you. "Here, this should cheer you up."
"No way," You were overjoyed, your face lighting up with a smile.
"Yes way," He replied, playfully eyeing the cookies then to you. "Have it, yeah?"
"Dad, oh my god," You squealed excitedly, taking a bite out of the cookie, savoring the taste of the sweetness and the tenderness. "This is so sweet of you. Thank you so much!"
Oh no. Dad? Did you just call your captain, 'dad'?
Avoiding the embarrassment of calling your captain 'dad' in a moment of vulnerability, you silently prayed that he hadn't heard it. This was going to be awkward, and the thought of having to explain yourself was making you cringe.
Just play it off...
Now as much as Price wants to give you the other cookie for you to eat, he retracted his hand away from your grabby hands, not letting you get one.
"Cap?" Your hands stay levitated, clearly ready to munch on the cookie on your Captain's grip.
Did he caught on?
"Hm?"
You had to think fast. Change the subject before things got too awkward!
"Are.. are you going to eat that?"
"Nope."
"Then why- actually no, just- isn't that for me?"
"Correct," He chuckles as he continued dangling the pastry infront of you.
Silence.
You stared at him incredulously, your hand visibly itching to just pounce on the cookie and munch on it.
What was your captain doing?
"See, the funny thing is, kid," He trailed off as he waves the cookie back and forth with his hand up in the air. He smirks when your eyes followed the cookie's movement. "I haven't thought much of being a father."
Shit. Play it off...
You hummed in confusion, tilting your head in curiosity.
Where was he going with this? And also, can he just give you the cookie? After all, he gave it to you, right?
Just give me the cookie, dammit.
"Let alone..." He paused and looked at you in the eyes. Shit. "Someone calling me one, aye?"
You feel like you could sink into the ground and vanish from existence. The embarrassment was too much to bear!
"...Who?"
Bye.
Captain Price chuckles at you, "Don't play dumb on me now, sergeant."
Your mind is racing, trying to think of something to say. You stuttered a reply, "I- Capta-"
But before you know it, he interrupts your thoughts with his sharp wit.
"Oh? It was 'Dad' a second ago, wasn't it?" He retorded with a proud smirk playing across his lips, looking at you with an air of amusement and teasing. He knows exactly what to say to get under your skin and he's not afraid to use it to his advantage.
It's clear that he wants an answer, but all you can do is sputter a few incoherent words before retreating back into your shell. You feel a mix of embarrassment and frustration, wishing you could come up with a clever come-back, but the only thing that's clear right now is that Price has you stumped.
"Sergeant?" He calls out to you teasingly, awaiting for your reply to his question.
"Mhm?" You can feel your ears slowly turning red as your Captain's teasing hits a nerve. You can't seem to quite meet his eyes, instead looking at the ground with an embarrassed blush. You fidget with the straps of your holster, unable to quite figure out how to respond.
"Wasn't it 'Dad' a second ago?" Captain Price repeated as he raised an eyebrow, looking at you with a mix of amusement and confusion.
You blush in embarrassment as you realize he wouldn't let you get off easily withyour slip-up. You look down at the ground.
"I'm sorry, sir," You quickly clear your throat, hoping to regain your composure. Still unable to break your gaze from the floor, you mutter, "It won't happen again."
Suddenly, the cookie appeared in your line of vision that was still situated at the ground. You heard your captain sigh and tutted, drawing your attention back to him.
The cookie! The cookie?
He held the cookie out to you, a small smile playing on his lips as he waited for you to accept it. You were initially taken aback, feeling a surge of warmth and gratitude toward your captain.
"Didn't ask for an apology, kid," He said with a playful frown, seemingly amused by the situation. He took your hand and placed the cookie on it, his gaze locking onto yours. "Was just surprised is all, hm?"
"Still," You cleared you throat as straightened your posture and looked up at him, albeit still feeling the sting of embarrassment. "It's my bad."
"Mhm," He hummed softly and raised his hand up to your head. He gently pats your head affectionately, yet his hand ruffled your hair, leaving it disheveled. "Whatever floats your boat, kid."
The soft pat on your head sends shivers down your spine, and you give him a grateful smile.
"Thanks, Cap', again." You beemed up with a smile, raising the cookie to his vision.
He gives a small nod before turning to leave, leaving you with a sense of warmth and contentment that stays with you long after he's gone. You watch as he offered a small wave goodbye and you respond the same, feeling a sense of gratitude for his kindnesses and understanding.
You were about to take a bite out of the delicious cookie he had given you. But just as you were about to revel in the sweet taste, you heard his voice once more calling out to you and startling you.
Turning around, you saw him standing there infront of the doorway, his eyes gleaming with mischief as he continued to speak.
"Though," he began, his voice low but full of laughter spilling through, "The cake's delicious, kid. Would have it again, 10 out of 10," he finished with a wink, and you couldn't help but gape at his leaving form.
What.
"Motherfuc-"
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navi / masterlist
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ilexdiapason · 9 months
Text
It's not every day you almost hit somebody with your car - but then again, it's not every day that the somebody in question falls directly out of the sky and into the road in front of you.
Oli slams the brakes as fast as he can physically manage, parks the car, hops out. (If traffic comes up behind him on a little road like this, only a couple of streets from his house, then they can wait for him to check on the body before he lets them past, alright?) Lying in front of him, tensed but not appearing to be grievously injured, is a man.
"Hello?"
The man's eyes flick open, his gaze wild and alert at once, and he scrambles back across the tarmac. "Who are you?"
"No - no, I'm not - you just fell in front of my car, that's all, I'm not a cop or anything."
"Don't need to be a cop to be dangerous," the stranger insists, fists balling against the road as though he'd rather be reaching for a weapon. "Where is this?"
"You're - we're in Sheffield," he hazards, "like, north Sheffield, not in the middle of town or anything. How did you fall out of the sky like that?"
"Sheffield?" the man repeats.
"Yeah?"
"What's your name?"
"Er - I'm Oli. Oliver."
The stranger stares at Oli like he's trying to bore a hole through to the other side of his skull. "OrionSound?"
Oli pauses. How in the everliving fuck does this random stranger know his gamertag, of all things? "What? Yes. What?"
"Right," the stranger mutters, "not over yet, I guess." He hops up, offers a hand, which Oli, bewildered, shakes. "My name is Martyn."
Ah - that would explain it. If, albeit, it is still a fucking insane coincidence. "You've been in some of our lobbies before. How did you work that out from name and location?"
Martyn stops short. "Hold on. Lobbies?"
"Yeah - on Pirates, right? And Rats. I always just sort of assumed you must be mates with Owen or something."
"Lobbies like - like in-game?"
"... Yes?"
Martyn looks around, as though he's processing this quiet side street for the very first time. He flexes his fingers on either side, half-concealed under fingerless gloves. Then he makes eye contact with Oli again. "Let me just get this straight. You've met me in-game, and this is not that. This is real."
"Yeah," Oli frowns, "what? Of course this is real. I'm sorry, am I missing something?"
And Martyn laughs, mirthless, like Oli's not privy to the greatest cosmic joke he can imagine. "Little bit, yeah. Right. I did get out. And I'm in Sheffield, and OrionSound of all people found me. And… I need to call my mum."
"You want my phone?"
"Oh, god, not now, I need a minute."
Against his better judgement, Oli makes a choice. "Well, if you need somewhere to go, just for a bit, we're not far from my house?"
Martyn laughs again. "Right! Sure. Let's do that. Fuck. Fucking hell, you've got a car, been a hot minute since I've seen one of those. Let's go."
So that's how Oli ends up letting Martyn, a man he's never met before but also knows quite well, into his car and into his home. It's not even one o'clock yet.
(part two here)
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critterbitter · 3 months
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What do you know- I'm trying out the askbox *eyes*
anyway I just wanted to say that high-key I think I'd follow any content you make at this point bc your art brings me so much joy. That doesn't tend to happen super often since i am,,,, very much so a hyperfixation-focused person HAHA
regardless I'm not exactly quiet about it but I adore your art and I look forward to each new time you post :D
I WISH i had the capability of pumping out art like you do bc man while I love to draw and have so many ideas all the time picking up the pencil is Hard Dude.
Also! In a recent post you mentioned the whole Twin Dragons AU and HC that people love to have- I'd be super curious as to your opinion on it!
-( ╹▽╹ )
I SEE YOUR TAGS AND IM.
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I’ll have to slow down at some point on that Submas Grind, but the hyperfixation throes are REAL. Thank you for inhabiting the tunnels with me! People that tag and cheer artists on are the real mvps of the art economy.
As for twin dragon aus!
I’ve always seen Emmet as more zekrom esque, and Ingo more reshiram esque. Is it cause the typing matches their starters? Maybe, hehe.
Ultimately though, the guys are too multifaceted for me to easily split them into truth and ideals.
I also see the legendaries as Eldritch Abominations Beyond Understanding, so having the dragons in my iteration become the twins would, uh, have consequences. The funny goofy story would dip into horror territory instead. (Reshiram demands only truths, and anything not Absolute will burn. And zekrom’s ideals are beyond human understanding, and trying to understand the mad tangle of thunder would drive somebody insane.)
(I’m a huge tma fan. Can you see it? Man.)
((Also N’s a scary mofo for summoning reshiram. I’m digging directly into the whole “twin heroes have a civil war and it destroyed unova” backstory that pokemon set up, and the more I think about it the stronger my dread mounts at the idea of Zekrom OR Reshiram casually flying overhead.
But this is also just how I see the legendaries of the pokemon world! Lugia sinks islands. Groudon covers towns. Arceus loves the mortal world, and mourns because its immortality only brings grief. Giritina hates, because it’s the ghostly remains of every one of Arceus’s mistakes given drive, banished into the distortion realm. Normal stuff!)
You sly dog, you got me monologing! But here’s the tldr: Not sure i’ll ever make my own serious Dragon AU that follows my internal world building for pokemon. I’m too attached to my favorite trope: “the smallest people can still initiate the biggest of changes”, and I’m too attached to my other favorite trope: “legendaries are actually gods and you Should Be Frightened.”
So that’s why, in this essay, if the trio gets turned into pokemon, I’d make them route 1 run of the mill rats. Because rats can do whatever they want.
(Plus, patrats and pachirisu aren’t banned from the subway battles last I checked.)
If i had to make a goofy crack dragon au though, I think this would be the result:
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The whole story would just be the trio and historians trying to figure out what the hell the twins got turned into, and concerns of other people becoming pokemon as well. So far, people are convinced they’re a paradox version of an archen. (I mean…)
(Alternate take of THAT, where elesa gets turned into a victini.)
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