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#So you end up with a mash-up of different styles
saudadeko · 6 months
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ADHD tips from a girlie who was diagnosed in her late twenties and has had little to no support since and is being so brave about it:
1) Make it easy, make it accessible, and make it appealing. If anything this is the most important thing, all tips going forward are based around this concept.
2) That thing you think would help you but you haven’t bought/done it yet because you’re technically surviving without it? buy it, you need it. It doesn’t matter if people around you might think it’s wasteful or that you’re lazy, you’re not, just do it, trust me.
3) Expanding on tip #2, if you’re like me and eggs are your main source of protein because they’re quick and easy and feeding yourself is a near insurmountable task- buy yourself an electric egg cooker, make a bunch of hard boiled eggs and keep them in your fridge for quick and easy protein to add to any meal (handful of crackers, a hard boiled egg and a banana? 5 star meal right there. Or mash them up with some mayo for egg salad sandwiches). Other easy proteins include: potstickers (put them in instant ramen), edamame (they have microwaveable snack packs), chickpeas (put in salads!), beans (can of beans microwaved with shredded cheese and some tortilla chips), peanut butter (with crackers, apple and cheese, adult lunchable style), and tofu (cut into cubes, throw them into a ziplock with some seasoning and potato starch, shake that shit up and bake it until crispy).
4) Spend a little extra (if you are able) on daily use items that excite you, it will make you more likely to remember/want to do said daily task. For example: the only reason I remember to use sunscreen is because I bought some fancy japanese sunscreen that smells like roses so I get excited to use it, same for laundry detergent and body wash! there’s a gajillion different body wash scents out there, switch it up!
5) If there’s a task you continuously struggle with take a moment to think about which part of the task is making it difficult, it could be something even as small as “I don’t put my dirty clothes in the hamper because my hamper has a lid on it and lifting the lid is one step too many-”, sounds a little stupid huh? But trust your gut, it’s not stupid if it works. See tip #2 and BUY A HAMPER WITHOUT A LID.
6) If you are having trouble starting a task, break the task down further, sometimes the way I start a task is just by going “Ok step 1) stand up-“ and so forth. Don’t worry about the task as a whole just take it one step at a time.
7) If you’re halfway through a task and have to stop, leave it out. All this, “Put things away when you’re done with them.” is bullshit. you will be much more likely to finish the task if restarting it is easier because you left it out plus it’s a visual reminder. You can also create faux deadlines like “I gotta finish this project before my friend comes over on tuesday because after I finish it I can clean off the dinner table.” etc.
8) It’s okay to outsource tasks and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, humans are designed to ask for, and to require help (what do babies do when they’re first born?? cry for help!!) ask for help and receive help without shame, if it makes your life better, you are WINNING.
9) If you have one big overwhelming task that you think you need to get done before anything else, but you feel motivated to do other tasks, do those other tasks first, it’s okay. Otherwise in all likelihood (at least in my case) you’ll put everything off until the last minute and then have to do said overwhelming task and those other tasks won’t get done at all. Doing those smaller tasks also lowers the mental load and you can use them as a motivation launch pad to tackle bigger things.
10) If you notice you tend to not put something away/forget to do something, perhaps consider moving and storing the item closer to where it ultimately ends up or where you are more likely to see it. For example, my makeup, pills, and mail are all stored on my desk because that’s where I tend to do my makeup, take my pills and deal with my mail. I used to store my pills in my bathroom medicine cabinet but all too often I would forget because they weren’t in my line of sight. Now that they’re on my desk, I have multiple chances per day to pass by them, go “oh I gotta take those.” and take them.
11) Open storage, open storage, OPEN STORAGE.
12) Motivation can look like all kinds of things. sometimes the only reason I get out of bed is because I remember I have a fun snack and I get to go eat it if I get up. It’s okay to lean into those simple “animal-brain” type motivators, you’ll eat because then you can use that fun new kitchen gadget you got a daiso? Neat. you’ll shower because then you can paint your nails that fun new color you got? Fantastic. You’ll go to the dmv and do that annoying thing because you’ll take yourself out for boba after? Superb. Lean-IN to those small motivators, they aren’t stupid or childish, they are VITAL.
13) Don’t buy into the cult of “if it’s worth doing, do it properly” it’s guaranteed to set you up for failure. If it’s worth doing, do it in whatever capacity you are able to. I put sunscreen on once a day because that’s fucking better than not doing it at all and I sure as all hell will fail at reapplying it multiple times a day. If it’s worth doing, do it half-assed babieeee.
Go forth and prosper!!! xoxo ✌️🩵
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thought--bubble · 3 months
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She Brings The Darkness
Michael Gavey X (Goth Classmate Reader)
Warnings After the cut
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Michael Gavey Master List
Full Master List
Banners by @arcielee
Warnings: dry humping, male whimpering (a personal favorite), Michael has no game.
Getting into Oxford was a surprise. Your family did not come from money, you went to a basic school in an area that wasn't poverty stricken but certainly wasn't an area where the kids there would end up at a place like oxford.
While you excelled academically, you still didn't have the advantages most of your peers did. You didn't expect to fit in and by contrast to most students, didn't particularly want to.
You'd always felt more comfortable fading into the back round. You dressed according to a style that would be described as "goth" by most. your dark hair and dark clothes seeming to place you in this bubble that screamed "do not talk to me" something you had spent years building to protect your solace and your sanity.
When you arrived on campus you decided to continue with your usual persona. Standoffish, cold and a little creepy that should be enough to keep all of these posh prats out of your face, or so you thought.
Your plan worked like a charm your first few months of school. No one bothered you. You weren't invited to parties, you didn't have people reaching out to you wanting you as a friend or a study companion. You were left alone. Just the way you liked it.
You would regularly study in the university's library after hours. When most students were long gone, the tables empty. The library was typically pretty quiet but at this time of day it was almost ominous.
Today, the beauty of solitude was interrupted by non other than Michael Gavey. He was sitting about two tables over from where you are seated nose buried in a book. flipping through the pages furiously. It's common knowledge that he has been even more insufferable than usual since his only friend Oliver ditched him for the allure of the ever popular Felix.
Michael's persona didn't bother you as much as it did the average person. You actually found it comical that he could not under any circumstances just act normal. He is incredibly intelligent that much was obvious. but he was so God damn abrasive. It's as if he needed you to know he is smarter than you and had no qualms in being aggressive about it.
You try to remain focused on your studies. You have a mid-term coming up that you have to be prepared for, but the aggressive swishing of the pages and loud sighs coming from Michael's table were just about to push you over the edge.
Then he pulls out the crunchy bar. With its crinkly wrapper and crunchy contents that he mashes in his mouth and it finally sets you off.
You gather up your books in a huff. As you near his table you can't help yourself.
"You know, all this," you gesture to Michael. "This is why people avoid you. You're barkin' mad"
He looks at you with pure anger in his eyes. "Because I'm reading a book?"
"No, because you're so aggressive, not even a book can escape your wrath," you make your way out of the library thinking that would be the end of it.
You were wrong. Very, very wrong.
From then on, you would catch Michael glaring at you in all different places.
You go to the library, he's there glaring at you. In the one class you share, he's glaring at you. Walking on campus, glaring again. It's as if suddenly he is everywhere you are, and he just glares at you like he is hoping to somehow set you ablaze through sheer willpower.
After a few weeks of this, you have become entirely fed up. As you sit through your professors' long boring lecture, that feels like it will never end, you can feel micheal's eyes boring into you. Instead of just ignoring his stare as you usually do, you turn and look right back at him with a glare of your own.
He just looks back at you with a deepening scowl. You roll your eyes at him, and he smiles. It's quick, and if you were less perceptive, you may have missed it.
You decide then and there. He is going to stop. You will make sure of that.
It was easy enough to get him alone. After all, he was following you everywhere and staring you down. So today you decided to give him something to stare at.
You hadn't worn clothes like these in a long time, but you knew they would do the trick. A pink pleated micro mini skirt, black fishnet thigh highs with your oxblood docs and a black jumper. Not too over the top, but it shouldn't be all that difficult to get Michael Gavey flustered. With his social capabilities, you couldn't imagine he had a long list of ladies with tales of romance and mind-blowing sex to tell about him.
So all dressed up you put your plan in motion. It's Tuesday and you spend every Tuesday evening in the same place. The library.
Michael clearly knows this as well. Every Tuesday, he is now also in the library, a few tables over from you, flipping through whatever text he is studying and glaring at you with contempt occasionally.
You walk into the library prepared for battle. You look around from table to table. He isn't here yet. But you know that creepy little genius. He'll be here to rain down dirty looks upon you.
So you get yourself set up at your usual table. You set a few books out opened to various pages. Your notebooks a few pens a bottle of water and then you wait. You don't have to wait too long before he comes in. His eyes scan the room quickly, and then he sees you. A scowl overtakes his features as he makes his way to his usual table.
You give him some time to settle in. To develop a false sense of security before you make your move. You take one of your books and make your way over to Michael's table.
"Michael Gavey" you click your tounge "I swear I see you just about everywhere now"
You lean against the table in front of him, putting just your bum over the edge of the table. Your little pink skirt riding up just enough to show off the top of your thigh highs.
He lifts his eyes from the book he is looking at, and they immediately lock onto your thigh. He swallows audibly before he looks up at you.
"Guess I've got your attention then?"
You narrow your eyes at him before you slide further down the side of the table getting closer to him.
"Have you been trying to get my attention, Gavey?"
He shifts slightly in his chair. He opens and closes his hand slowly against the thick wood of the table.
"Didn't say that"
"Hmmm," you scratch at the wood of the table with your fingernail.
"Didn't deny it either." You look around the library. There are only a handful of students left in there. You know, within the next hour or two, it should completely clear out. So you have a while to play with Michael before the two of you are alone.
You slide your thumb under the band of your thigh high lightly, snapping it against the skin as you pretend to be deep in thought.
His eyes immediately dart to your thighs, and his breath quickens. You internally smile, fighting to keep it from showing on your face. Even though you are aware he isn't looking at your face. You've got him right where you want him, all nerves and hormones.
Snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, the band of your thigh high continually snapping against your skin has him completely enthralled.
"W-" he clears his throat. "What are you doing?"
"Thinking" you snap the band, once, twice, three more times.
"About what?" His hand is gripping the edge of the table harshly
"I'm trying to figure out just what exactly it is that you're after." You slide around the corner of the table, moving his clutched hand, so you are now leaning on the table directly between Michael and it.
"I...i....ummm....books..... there are....ummm...I have.....books?" He struggles to get out his thoughts as his face blushes a bright crimson.
"You have books? Here? In the library? Ghastly, " You push yourself up so you are now sitting on the table. Your thighs are pretty thick, so they spread out a bit in the new position.
You run your fingers over the pages of the book he has open on the table.
"You're here just to study then?" You look at him eyebrows raised.
He just stares back at you, blinking.
"Oh Gavey..... you in there?" You rub your ankle against his thigh.
His body jerks the second your body makes contact.
"Huh?" He looks up at you, eyes hooded.
"I said, are you here just to study? Nothing else?" You continue to move your leg back and forth like you're swinging on a swingset yet slow with your ankle, maintaining contact with his thigh.
"Ummm. .. the library?..... studying.... yes.....mmmmhmmm"
You take a look around again. The library has mostly cleared out save for one girl at a far table. You quickly make a decision.
'One witness isn't too bad' you think to yourself before looking at micheal again and deciding it is time to go for the killshot. 'He'll never be able to look at me again after this'
You hop off the table, and bend over to bring your face level with his "Michael?"
He swallows harshly and barely utters. "y-yes?"
"Give me your hands." he doesn't move and just looks at you with confusion he opens his mouth slightly as if to say something, but nothing comes out.
You giggle to yourself, take his arms, move them out of the way, and sit yourself down on his lap, straddling him.
"I wanna talk. About...... the situation we have going on. May we do that?"
Micheal has his hands up by his head, in a pose that could be taken as him not knowing where to put his hands or surrender.
You take his hands and place them on your hips. He swallows and whimpers his eyes filled with a mixture of fear and lust.
"You stare at me" you roll your hips.
"Oh god" he whines
"You follow me," you roll your hips, adding more pressure. You can feel him hardening underneath you.
He grunts, his breathing choppy
"You're everywhere I go." You grab his shoulders as you roll your hips, building a steady rhythm.
He whimpers. "Wh- i- ahhhh..." he grips your hips tightly.
"I want it to stop." You speed up the motion of your hips against him.
His body involuntarily jerks up against you. His face is somewhere between pleasure and pain.
"Say you will stop." You lean your head back and moan as your movements against him start to affect you. Feeling his hard cock in his trousers rubbing against your pearl through the thin material of your thong.
You bring your head back to face him, bringing your lips up close to his "Say it"
"I'll stop" he moans "I'm sorry, fuck christ I'm sorry"
You bite his bottom lip and hold it between your teeth as you rub yourself against his bulge, getting closer and closer to falling off that cliff.
Michael's hands are clawing into your hips he's pushing down on you as he thrusts upwards face red.
You lean your head back again and let him lead your movements. He pulls your hips against him rough and fast.
"Yes, right there." You give him a few words of encouragement, and it's over for him. He gasps sucking in air like he's drowning his body twitching beneath you.
You roll your hips against him two more times as he whimpers from the overstimulation, and this sends you into your own bliss. You roll your eyes back and tighten your legs around him as you ride out the sensation.
As you come back to your senses, you look around the library. It has since completely cleared out. You can't help but chuckle to yourself, wondering at just what point did that girl from before leave. You quickly hop off micheal's lap, returning to your table to gather your things.
He watches you dumbstruck. After your bag is packed you make your way toward the exit stopping only for a moment at Michael's table.
"Remember what I told you. It stops now" you tap your fingers three times on the table and leave the library.
The next day you're right back to your usual baggy black clothes and emotionless face as you enter the class you share with Michael.
You spot him in his usual seat. He looks up towards you blushes and quickly looks away from you.
Obviously your plan worked. He can't even look at you. You can't help but be a little bit disappointed.
You had hoped you may have to teach him that lesson a few more times.
Part 2
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absolutebl · 3 months
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This Week in BL - Top 3 Are HEATING UP
Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top.
Dec 2023 Wk 2
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Ongoing Series - Thai
Honestly, 3 are neck & necking for top position! They are all so good in different ways. But The Sign had me hooting with laughter this week, so it scooped #1.
The Sign (Sat YT) ep 4 of 10 - This show is literally everything (except straight) all at once. It's BL, queer, band of brothers, romcom, erotica, paranormal, fated mates, mystery, suspense, slasher, and horror. It’s the king of genre mash-up chaos. I have no idea what I’m watching but I’m ON this ride. Is it a roller coaster? Is it a haunted house? Is it a twirl & hurl? Is there candy floss? Am I even tall enough? Who tf cares. All through the second scene, I was laughing. It was legit funny. Billy has great comedic timing. Guess he’s not just a pretty face.
Everyone should be watching this. Sure, it's madness but there is genius in it.
Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 6 of 12 -  Yech. August may be one of GMMTV’s least likable characters ever (and that is saying something). Meanwhile, MOAR language play! They spoiling me!
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Mhok letting Day go then walking away at the party hurt so bad.
Argh this show is great!
Ep 6 so that kiss was right on schedule. I’m looking forward to the boyfriend eps before doom & pain in the new year. Carry on GMMTV. 
Speaking of...
Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube) ep 2 of 12 - Oh they’re great. It’s great. It’s paced oddly, moving quickly through most of the key scenes of the original JBL in these first 2 eps. I think it’s intending to encompass more of the manga series than that one did. Which is good, cause that will get us all the way to The Library Kiss (TM). It's the best kiss in the manga. I also like the sides in this show (better than the JBL version). 
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My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) ep 8fin - What a lovely slightly unhinged little show. Tew, can we talk? Un-ironic suspenders, that takes courage. Also, the revolver was a crazy gun choice. 
Final thoughts:
This show is just as ridiculous as its title. About a gaymer who falls in love with one of his in-game teammates, who just happens to be a IRL gangster. A real gangster, the kind that actually kills people regularly. The lead pair is doing their best with a ridiculous story and shoddy script, but I enjoyed it. Although I was grateful it wasn’t very long, what we got was oddly satisfying if, frankly, a little bit silly. Recommended. 8/10 
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That said, what's important about this BL is not the show, but the production and style. Let me explain... no, too much, let me sum up.
This is a chimera BL. Regarding characters: it has Japan's style otaku + Korea's style gangster + Thailand's style friendship group. It used Thai talent + Korean money (Kakao) & IP (adapted from a manwha) but aired on a Chinese channel globally (iQIYI). I'm delighted by the eclectic insanity of this production and truly doubt that any other genre but BL could ever produce like this. It's like diplomat's BL and it's the great wonder of our age that it happened at all. This BL deserves its place in the history books on production alone, even if that place is only in the footnotes. A remarkable little monster.
For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - The sides are… messy. Using the same actor for the old bf is… odd. But in the end, this show leaves me smiling. Which means, I like it despite myself. 
Bake Me Please (Mon Gaga) ep 4 of 6 - It's decent. It’s basically what I wanted Antique Bakery to be when I first watched that way back when (not to mention Bite Me). But there’s been so much BL since then that, for some reason, this is falling flat. I think it’s moving too fast for a Thai series. Although, say what you like, Ohm has to be one of the best soft kissers in the industry. He's just good at mouth tenderness.
Ugh, that doesn't sound right. But you know what I mean.
Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 7 of 10 - I love how First is so upset when Sprite starts chatting and being nice to Koh. Sprite is just a sweet easy-going likable boy. I enjoy Sprite as a main character, he’s a bubbly little communicator. And they had a cute kiss.  
Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 5 of 14 - Because there was more Alan and Jeff and they were more key to the plot I was more into this ep. I do compare it to green smoothie down the pants in the Trash Watch.
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Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 3 of 12 - Look OffGun are truly great. But I’m just not sure we need them in BL anymore. That said, it’s nice to see Off as "the one with the crush" for a change. Also, this show is only good when OffGun are on screen together, otherwise it kinda, well, sucks.
Night Dream (Sat YT) ep 1 of 6 - Cafe setting featuring a cook and a writer. *Seems awfully familiar.* Except these two are exes and this is a reunion romance. It’s stiff and very pulp but not bad (no crap sound effects) and I am a sucker for a reunion romance. That said, Rookie Thailand is not to be trusted, proceed with caution.
Absolute Zero (Weds iQIYI) ep 12fin - I'm grateful this is over. It was tense but for the wrong reasons - sadness and confusion. This final episode was fine, but that’s because it was mostly them being together + flashbacks. Plus all the familiar actor faces of the grown-up friends (hi, Karn my lovely, still stunning I see). But 2 of 12 episodes is not enough for the 10 of suffering and confusion that came before.
In conclusion:
A man is killed on his 10th anniversary resulting in a time paradox, for which the only solution is him never meeting his childhood sweetheart until later in life. Both lovers cycle back to the past at different ages, so that they each become their own 1st & 2nd great loves, but every time it ends in pain, until each also endures 10 years of separation. Finally it gets fixed, but leaves them with multiple memories of time's failures like temporal PTSD, and everyone around them has chronic deja vu. Me? I got both. This is one of those BLs that is high-quality with great acting but poor story. If you like your BL dwelling, maudlin, and tense due to angst and suffering, then you might enjoy this. But I just regret it, 6/10. Recommended only if you like confusing time travel emo pain.
In which case, just watch Tokyo in April is... instead. Give over Thailand, Japan does it better.
Middleman’s Love (Fri YT & iQIYI ep 6 of 8 - While our main couple isn’t working for me... the side couple isn’t working for me either. I really wanted to give LeoTai a chance, this is the 3rd show I’ve seen them in, and still nope. I like Jade a lot more when he’s sad. He’s a much more pleasant screen experience depressed. I would like him to stay hurt for a couple of eps, just so I can enjoy this show a tiny bit more. But then he just goes unhinged again. Argh. I just don’t like it. 
My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Pisces of Me ep 17 of 24 - Codependent boyfriends in middle school planning for high school dealing with stuff. Including other boys being into them. 
Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 5 of 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. Goodbye. DNF 
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Ongoing Series - Not Thai
VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - It’s cute but I don’t think BL in this short format is Taiwan’s strength these days. And this is quite slow and dull. Perhaps they should have whacked it down to 6 eps, not 10.
Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 3 of 8 - This is one of those JBLs that I should like on paper but is failing me. The drag bit was ridiculous but handled gently. The kiss was… well… something wasn’t it? It’s all very odd. I like the photographer cutie character. 
It's Airing But...
The Whisperer (Sun ????) 10 eps - Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). I don't think even the perfect single dimple can motivate me to watch. Word is... it's terrible.
7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 10 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes. I'm waiting to binge if it's safe.
Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) 8 eps - House of Stars meets Boyband. I was NOT impressed with ep 1. Been told I shouldn't bother.
What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until after it completes its run next week.
Dear Kitakyushu (Thai/Japan movie) in theaters in country only, I know nothing about distribution.
Behind the Shadows (Korea movie) this is a historical I was interested in, but I've been told they kill the gay so I'm OUT.
Next Week Looks Like This
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Still coming:
12/23 Dead Friend Forever (Thai horror) iQIYI
Original 2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED). With the end of the year upon us I'll do an "announced for 2023 but never happened list" soon.
THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS
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He so pretty.
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I forgot how likable TayNew are, and frankly I think New is a better version of this role for me, personally. I like him a lot. He's a conscientious sweetheart. And a good egg. (Cherry Magic)
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Ah the rooftop my old friend. (Last Twilight)
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I would like to point out that it's no accident the naga's sex dream happened in the shower, he's a water creature after all. (The Sign)
(Last week)
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isekai-crow · 1 month
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Mashle Ending Cars
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My Beetle is a massively certified mechanic in Japan who is a bit of a motorcycle fanatic. (I cannot emphasize how much I am understating the term FANATIC here.)
So naturally since I know nothing about cars and they're tangentially related to motorcycles, I asked him to tell me the names of all the cars in the ending, and he did well.
Mash - Nissan Fair Lady's Z 2008 model - He was able to get this one immediately and was like, "Anyone who knows their cars would know this immediately."
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Lance - Beetle thought it was a Mazda RX-8 but it might be an import model - We guessed a Ferrari, but a lot of them have different headlight shapes.
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Dot - Jeep Wrangler. Thats it. No numbers for you lmao
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Finn - Morgan Plus 4 (had to google this one because too many similar looking classic cars and this STILL doesn't look exactly right.)
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Rayne - Rolls Royce Phantom III baybee
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I LOVE THAT THE AMES BROS HAVE CLASSIC OLDIE CARS. THEY'RE SO STYLISH. We already know that Finn is the only one in the main group with any sense of style and THIS JUST PROVES IT. I wanna go for a spin with him.
(Also classic cars as SO. FUCKING. EXPENSIVE. to own in Japan. The older your car is the more you pay in taxes. Which I wonder if it means anything here...)
Draco Malfoy Ryoh Grantz- Mercedes-Benz Vision Gran Turismo or one of the other versions. This also took a bit of googling cause he could only pin the Brand Name and not the car itself cause it's too new.
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Harry Potter Orter Madl- Ashton Martin Vanquisher (THE NAMING SENSE. DID THEY PICK THIS CAR SOLELY FOR THE NAME VANQUISHER???)
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Carpaccio - Porche Boxster - He picked up on the headlights immediately because we had a low budget Porche at one point, inherited from his brother.
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Margarette Macaron - BMW r100 - This was of course the fastest on he pinned and AHHH MY BELOVED MARGARETTE they're so cool for riding a motorcycle.
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Also.
The Mash's dads on a driving date.
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Love that for them. So sweet.
And fucking of course this is a euphamism for magic and MASH IS THE ONLY ONE WITHOUT A DRIVER'S LICENSE SO HE'S PUSHING THE CAR.
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AND THAT CAR IS IN PARK AND/OR HAS THE BREAKS ON because of course it fucking does why am I surprised lmao
This song is a banger too. When I get around to it, I wanna do a break down of the lyrics to this and other OPs and EDs.
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ghoulysaphomet · 8 months
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Link woke with a start to the ear squelching sound of metal grinding against metal. Not noticing the unknown cloth adorning his shoulders, he sits up, trying to force the residual sleepiness from his eyes.
It's early, possibly around sunrise. The sky is still speckled with barely there stars and awash with hues of oranges, reds and pinks crowning the sun. The maze's walls stand as tall as the first time he'd gazed upon them with moss crawling up the tiles in lazy exploration. The sounds of battle grates on his ears as well as his nerves. He looks, startled at the visage he finds.
The other Link (something is missing, didn't he wear a cloak?) Is brandishing an unknown sword he hadn't been carrying the day before against a tall moblin-esque creature unlike anything he'd ever seen. The monster is at least a few heads taller than the other Link, menacing even without a weapon. It snarls in threat; but other Link answers in kind, showing his teeth before pouncing. His form is so unlike his own, which stems from formal training and experience. This Link's form is more like a bunch of different people's experiences mashed together; an amalgamation of styles. Ruthless in nature but graceful in dodging; it resembles a predator playing with its prey. Link is mesmerised.
Until the other Link's sword breaks, flinging tiny shards into his hands and the ground beneath them. Link grabs his own sword, words of warning on the tip of his tongue as he watches the moblin swipe with sharp claws out at the other man. He barely gets his knees under him before other Link backflips, landing on all fours and pounces with an animalistic snarl. A loud squelch, wet and ragged, echoed by similarly sounding screams, cries loose from the monster. The other Link's blunt teeth and nails are embedded in its harsh black skin, his hair coming undone by the ferocity of his onslaught. The monster pitifully attempts to pust him off but gains a broken wrist as a result. Link can see the way other Link's jaw is straining with effort, the goal not being hitting an artery as much as crushing the trachea maybe. A sick wet crunch echoes around the area before the monster dissolves into black smoke. All Link can hear is the harsh breaths of the other Link as well as his own loud heartbeat.
Finally, it seems the other Link notices him looking. His face has a blood-beard, thick red liquid dripping from his jaw. Hair wild, the ends of his bangs stained crimson. His blue eyes blink before stalking closer to where Link is squatting. A hand reaches out, caressing his chin before landing on his forehead.
"Are.. you okay?" His teeth are stained red, warm breath hits his face. His heart thumbs away in his chest. Suddenly, his lips are dry.
"U-uh. Uhm yeah. Yeah I'm okay - I should be the one to ask you that! Are.. are you okay?" The hand is still holding his jaw, warm and soft. Link doesn't want him to let go for some reason. Unconsciously, he leans into it.
"Your face is red. Do you have a fever?" The other Link asks, pushing some of Link's hair behind his ear. He swallows.
"No. No. Im fine. Peachy."
The other Link frowns, clearly not believing him. He removes his hand and Link resists the urge to chase the warmth.
A piece of moblin flesh is dangling from other Links hair. He tentatively reaches out, aware of other Link's eyes on him like burning candles, and plucks it from his hair. There's something in the air around them. He can't bring himself to look away from other Link's mesmerising eyes; There's small becks of turquoise in his sea-deep eyes.
He knows he's being studied, that he should take back his hand. Instead, he lets it linger.
"..Sky" other Link says.
"..what?"
Other Link's cheeks reddens as he looks away. He clears his throat, licking his lips, seemingly unbothered by the blood.
"Your, ah, your nickname.. it'll be confusing with two Link's here.. and uh.. your.. your eyes. They remind me of the sky" he finishes, face getting redder and redder by the second. Link, or rather, Sky, feels a soft smile coming on.
"Hm.. then you'll.. you'll be Wild!" Because of the finesse and beauty the other man possesses, but the unlimited danger for everyone not knowing where to tread. His eyes like the wild ocean that's courageous, tempestuous, and a hurricane all in one.
Wild cocks his head. Reminiscent of an animal confused. It's cute.
"Why Wild..?" He asks, but doesn't refuse the name.
Sky blushes. "Ah, you know.. we're in the wild.." he knows it sounds weak to even his own ears, but Wild just nods as if reasonable.
"Well.." Wild starts before smiling. His teeth are pink, and the blood on his face has started to crust over and crackle.
"Nice to meet you, Sky." He says, shyly.
It's the most beautiful picture Sky has ever seen.
A short fan-drabble featuring Wild and Sky from @linked-maze by @frulleboi !
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Quick Wild doodle to go along with it! 🫀✨️
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antianakin · 2 months
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You know what's something I wished fanon/fanfic/etc explored? The idea of clones, basically traveling the galaxy because of the war not only having their own traditions, but also picking up stuff and being taught things by various people they encounter. Not even necessarily like a culture/tradition. A planet's local militia taught a trooper how to weave grass during a long night waiting for orders.
Of course he brought this to his friends and now the whole battalion makes things from grass or leaves or thread. It's calming, it's fun, they experiment with materials.
The clones who've developed their own culture (not Mandalorian) but also enjoying learning and participating. Let them be happy and want to explore things beyond their DNA donors world. (I also enjoy the idea of them getting to relax and join in on fun, normal activities).
And the idea of different units having different traditions while also sharing them when they're deployed together is fun.
The idea of mindfulness being picked up from Jedi general's and everyone having a unique spin, either copying meditation or meditating while cleaning equipment.
Also I want people to appreciate the clones as their own people.
Yeah, I hardly EVER see the clones depicted as this really interesting mish mash of cultures due to potentially picking up a bunch of shit from civilian populations they meet and then just passing it around their own battalion which could then make it out to the GAR as a whole.
Weaving baskets is a cute one, it could also be something as simple as picking up new spices every time they land somewhere and so their food is this wild fusion cuisine of spices and maybe fruits/dried meats/nuts from all over the galaxy because they just pick up stuff that goes to the kitchens and the clones doing the cooking in the kitchens use whatever they've got available to try to make new dishes. And they end up perhaps getting really good at figuring out how to combine these different ingredients that, on paper, seem like they absolutely should NOT go well together and yet somehow they make it work. And so clone cuisine becomes its own completely unique thing. You could even compare it to Jedi cuisine where they probably end up combining things a lot themselves, but the Jedi would theoretically often have had more access to resources and time to learn whole dishes than the clones do so it's more that the Jedi prepare different specific dishes from a lot of cultures as opposed to the more fusion-style cuisine the clones have come up with.
Or games, it'd be so cute to have the clones picking up all these different sort-of idle games from different civilian children they meet, like gffa versions of hopscotch or hackey sack, maybe card games that aren't sabacc or board games that aren't dejarik but are more specific to this one planet or culture. Maybe the clones start coming up with their OWN card games as they go because they start getting bored of the few that they know and start getting creative from there.
And of course things like different styles of visual art like painting and tattooing and hair styles that they might pick up on and incorporate into their own style that either becomes very popular among the clones on its own or ends up sort-of hybridized and become its own unique clone specific spin on the artform rather than a direct imitation. Writing would be really cool, too, that they pick up things like novels or journals from different cultures and some of the clones start writing creatively and become really prolific among the GAR (and maybe the Jedi too) for their stories. Similar to before, they might start off sort-of imitating styles they see from other cultures, specific kinds of poetry or tropes, but then branch out and put their own spin on it or start combining different things they've learned from various cultures.
Some clones might end up sticking closer to one specific culture they've connected or that just matches their personal taste really well, while others embrace the fusion more, and everything in-between.
And of course we can bring the Jedi into it more, too, and have the Jedi constantly working to introduce the clones to more things, maybe things THEY know and love from various cultures that they think the clones would find fun or interesting. And not just that person's "birth culture" like Ahsoka teaching people about Togruta culture, but things from OTHER CULTURES that they themselves have experimented with and liked. Maybe Ahsoka has a Mon Cal skincare routine she fucking swears by, or a Zabrak meat dish that's her absolute favorite hands down because of how tender they cook it, or her favorite book is actually Rodian because she particularly loves Rodian romance novels. And she introduces the clones to THESE things as well because why wouldn't she? The Jedi have a smorgasbord of options available to them and their culture encourages learning and connecting as much as possible, something I imagine they'd do their best to pass on to the clones in any way available to them.
And of course the Jedi, as some of the only people really out there with the clones and interacting with them regularly, get to be the first to BENEFIT from the hybridization that the clones utilize and get to see more about how these different cultures they've learned and appreciated for so long can be combined in such new and different ways to create something entirely unique and beautiful, so they get to enjoy these things all over again and it's AWESOME! New favorite noodle dish that combined fish from Glee Anselm and spices from Pantora and noodles from Chandrila, new favorite poem that has elements of Naboo and Ryloth in it, new knitted scarf that combined a knitting style from Lothal and a pattern from Shili.
And I've been going more for physical material things so far like food and stuff, but you can include things like slang they pick up from other cultures or maybe rituals of some kind they saw someone do that they asked about and got permission to participate in that they continue to practice afterwards because it's nice and calming.
The interesting part about the clones is that they don't have a "birth" culture to go back to. They were raised in a very sterile environment where everything they were exposed to was something very specific and aimed towards a certain goal. So they might have a favorite fighting move from the ones they were taught on Kamino or a favorite ship to fly of the ones they were taught to use for war, but it would be SO incredibly limited to what the Kaminoans wanted them to learn and not intended to become something the clones really connected to culturally. The Kaminoans themselves clearly HAVE a culture of sorts, they seem to share a style of fashion at least and probably an architectural style, but this isn't something that was passed on to the clones or that they would've been allowed to ever really participate in (beyond maintenance to the buildings, but they wouldn't have gotten a say in things like paint colors or additions to the building for cosmetic reasons, etc). And of course I don't think canon supports the idea that the clones really had a lot of connection to Mando culture and certainly nothing that supports the concept that they would consider it their "birth" culture. Jango barely seems to have passed any sort of Mando heritage on to BOBA, so it seems INCREDIBLY unlikely he'd have passed anything significant on to the clones he DIDN'T consider his son. And the Mando trainers are a legends thing these days, and were never canon anyway, so their exposure to Mando culture would be even more limited than their exposure to Kaminoan culture quite honestly.
All of which means the clones don't really have a firm basis of a birth culture from which to start on and then sort-of experiment out from. They're almost entirely open to whatever they discover or are introduced to in terms of culture. They're not Mando, they're not Kaminoan, they're their OWN THING and they can literally incorporate just about anything and everything into the culture they choose to build and that's SUCH a cool thing to look at and to explore and I don't know if I've really seen that much of it in fics. Especially via the Jedi who are their own massively multi-cultural society and can take the opportunity to really widen the clones' horizons in so many ways.
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landoffreaksandfrogs · 6 months
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Question for you, what are your thoughts on Aranea? I've seen people view her as a complete villain, i've seen people view her as a poor little woobie, and I've seen people deeply concerned about her adoration of Mindfang. I find her very interesting in the fact for all her manipulative behavior in homestuck, I can't really blame her for wanting to NOT fight lord english and just uncanonize him. But also she mind controlled and killed a lot of ghosts and directly or indirectly got lots killed.
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i. adore aranea. not because i think shes good or even really all that nice, but because i think she has such a unique range of depth to her character that simultaneously paints her as a genius and an enormous idiot.
its clear shes very intelligent and cunning, as not only is she more powerful than vriska, but unlike vriska, who has to brute force her way through her conversations with her bravado and with her psychics, aranea can actually properly manipulate people with just her words.
shes smug and she idolizes an abuser because shes been lead to believe by paradox space itself that if she had been more like an alternian, she wouldve succeeded.
the thing with both serkets is that they HATE "losing," and losing can mean a lot of things to them and its impossible for them to let it go. aranea is obsessed with mindfang partially because vriska did, and its obvious that she really did want to connect with vriska on a genuine level, but its clear her normal sensibilities werent vriskas style.
no one takes her seriously, and by virtue of the meta-narrative, no one is SUPPOSED TO. the beforus trolls are jokes. they're flat caricatures of whatever person they might have been. homestucks afterlife is so fucked because not only does it degrade your status in the timeline, but also it degrades YOU, as a person. you have no goals, you have nothing else you can do but dick around in an infinite mish-mash of memories. its purgatory and a huge joke.
its obvious aranea seriously projected hard on the alternian ancestors to try to cope with this reality but until lord english started wrecking shop, she didnt have an outlet for this obsession. she seriously believes she IS mindfang despite the vastly different lives they lead, and the fact that she is still only a teenager.
she takes the end justifies the means to the farthest extent possible, blindly believing that one big damn heroic moment would be enough to make what she did okay. and thats a direct parallel to vriska planning to fight jack noir. she wants so badly to believe that one HUGE good thing will counteract the hundreds of small bad things that built up along the way.
shes. psychologically fascinating. the depths of her character is so immense, she is NOT a good person and on some level, she knows it. she fails horrifically because she was stupid for thinking that her plan to overwrite a doomed timeline would work. but its so fucked up and fascinating that. somehow. her actions and interference indirectly did lead to the alpha timeline. john and roxys survival from [s] game over are a permanent reminder of the mark she left upon the narrative. and we never see her again.
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The Arcana Recipes: Mazelinka’s soup
After making Asra’s French toast last week, here is Mazelinka’s roasted squash soup! Here’s the original post from the official account with the recipe:
And here’s another recipe anon sent me that’s almost exactly the same (thank you so much friend!!), only with more specific measurements and instructions:
I ended up doing a weird combo of both recipes, while adjusting different spices/aromatics because I was making enough for 20 servings for a community dinner XD
Pics of how it went and some observations below the cut!!
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The first step was prepping and roasting the squash and onions. I chose to follow anon’s recipe on this one, roasting the onions and squash in the oven completely for an hour, instead of putting them in whole for ten minutes and doing the rest of the cooking in the soup pot. The last pic shows the onions and squash on the tray, the seeds I scooped out to roast later, and the olive oil and maple mixture to coat the vegetables with!
Here’s the before and after of the roasting:
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I’ll be honest, I was a little leery of using maple syrup on roast vegetables, but it worked so well!! The sugar ended up adding to the caramelizing process and pulling out a whole new depth of flavor ^.^
Here’s the pot of onion and squash before and after they were blended:
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I followed more of the official video with this step, mashing the soup inside the pot instead of using a blender. I made a similar choice of adding fresh ginger and garlic at this stage with the other spices and broth instead of roasting it, and letting the soup simmer for a while.
The result was delicious - hearty, spiced but not spicy, sweet-savory and very comforting. I made homemade dinner rolls to go with them too!
I can definitely see how a flavor profile and heartiness like this would match the soup Mazelinka makes in the story (minus the bone ash and sand)! It’s comforting, unbelievably delicious, more-ish, and ultimately very satisfying. I haven’t tried it Julian style by lacing it with sleeping meds yet, or traded it Portia style with a demon for information, but now I know how to make it in case I ever have to!
As for the squash seeds, I soaked them for half an hour, cleaned the pulp off of them, and let them dry completely before coating them in olive oil and roasting them at 275 for about 30 minutes. I added salt to taste afterwards and my younger siblings gobbled them down like popcorn XD
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Hey! so do you have any advice on how to develop your own writing style? I feel like my writing style just ends up vaguely mimicking whatever author I'm reading at the moment. I don't copy it but the way I i formulate sentences feels like it's being influenced, and I worry that in the end my writing reads inconsistent and a mash up of different styles?
What is Writing Style? Nailing Down Your Writing Style Worried About Writing Style
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mylevisdontfitanymore · 10 months
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I don’t know what to do w this thought bc there is no plot but I’ve been thinking a lot abt stucky Wandavision au w belly kink and it’s just all sweet and innocent at first yk 1950s all pg and sweet and it just dives into an absolutely kinky hellfest of Bucky stuffing Steve making him burst out of his suit each decade with just a fatter Steve with different popular foods of the era and is KSBDKD ekem anyways -🐮
This is gonna be another case of me admitting that I am not a good Marvel fan because... I didn't watch WandaVision 🫣🫣 BUT you're a goddamn genius because that concept is so hot.
With every decade, Steve gets fatter. Fatter and fatter and fatter. Testing the limits of all these different styles of clothes. Finding new favorite types of food. Each morning, Steve leaves their home a little larger and a little slower until... maybe he won't be leaving at all 😳
Warning for stucky belly kink, (probably) historical inaccuratacies, weight gain, stuffing, clothes destruction/tight clothes, immobility, some name calling (pig, whale, etc.), and all that kinky goodness below.
1950s
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I'm thinking about the excess that was the 1950s in America.
The post-WWII booming economy lends itself to this picture-perfect life that is seemingly within reach (if you were white, middle class, and heterosexual). A house, a car, a dog, children, etc. And all this overflow - this excess speeds up Steve's gain like nothing else. Bucky is a stay-at-home house husband, while Steve goes out to work; so, that also speeds Steve's gain because Bucky has to keep himself busy, he's got to do something other than clean, launder clothes, pay bills, or whatever. Cooking and grocery shopping fills most of his time in a way he enjoys.
Bucky always ends up cooking too much - making too much food for just the two of them. Then, because he's made too much, he overuses ingredients, and he has to go back to the store to get more... maybe he should get more when he's there? Right? He needs to buy more ingredients so he doesn't have to come as often. Steve ate everything Bucky cooked anyway, so it's not like it was actually too much, right?
Right?
So, at the start of the decade, Steve is nice and strapping. Under his pressed shirt, suit jacket, suspenders, and trousers, he's got a full fucking six pack, tight, high pecs, and broad as hell shoulders with legs that go on for days. But Bucky is getting good at building a soft husband. With every dish he perfects, every meal he cooks, he gets closer and closer to a chubby husband. Every day.
Hamburger, tuna fish, and chicken casseroles; meat loaf; fried chicken and deep-fried vegetables; mac and cheese; spam and canned ham; spareribs and salisbury steak; hot dogs; buttery mashed potatoes; banana cream pies, cherry angel food cake, and pineapple upside-down cake... all popular foods that Steve readily eats. And eats.
No matter how much Bucky makes, Steve will try to finish it all. He deeply appreciates being cooked for and he wants to show his appreciation. Even if, at the start, not everything is perfect.
If Steve doesn't finish it all by dessert, Bucky knows it will be gone by the time he wakes up with Steve in the morning. Steve gets up for work, Bucky gets up to make his hardworking husband breakfast, sending him off with a full belly (nevermind the fact that Steve is still gurgling through his dinner from the day prior and his midnight snack turned midnight feast).
Anyway-
Steve becomes accustomed to coming come from a long day at work to delicious smells emanating from the kitchen. It's never long before Bucky comes out, full frilly apron and all, and steers Steve into their dining room, sitting him down and serving up all the different dishes he's made for that day in a seemingly endless stream.
Steve compliments and moans his way through all of the dishes. Trying every single one. Not just trying a bite of each, but eating the lion's share of every dish. He makes sure Bucky has his fill, but everything else goes toward Steve. He can't help it. He's a stubborn, determined guy. Even if it didn't taste good (which it does, Steve could be convinced he's in heaven), Steve would be eating it all. But it does taste good. And he wants his husband to know he's doing good. So... down it all goes.
Until, by the time dessert is rolled own, Steve has his hands flat on the table over top of his knife and fork where they rest on his placemat. His glass is empty for now, he's gulped down glass after glass of milk with his meal, and he'll have a few more before he's done - the fatty drink bloating him by filling in all the cracks that fold can't fit into. Steve's got his head bowed, and his chest is heaving. Eyes squeezed shut.
Full.
"F-full," Steve puffs out, his lips slick. But, he's not done.
As he's stuffed his face, his tie has shifted to the side, exposing his shirt buttons. A while ago, Bucky helped him messily roll up his shirt sleeves as to not get them (more) dirty. He looks disheveled. Every shallow breath leaves his stretched stomach expanding more, truly testing the limits of his previously nicely starched shirt. Now his shirt is stained. He isn't a messy eater, but with all he's eating, there's no way that he wouldn't drop something on his swelling belly, beginning to split his suspenders apart and crush his belted slacks down.
The more often they do this, the more they settle into this time period, the more the buttons of Steve's shirts gape - little diamonds growing between each button, exposing more and more of his ribbed undershirt.
Someday, they're gonna bust. Coming off one by one. Pop. Pop. Pop. Bucky's toes curl just thinking about it. The release of each one, too tight, Steve's pot belly - his swelling gut, a beer gut under construction - forcing them to come flying off. Then, his belly rounding out. Expanding into the new space. Happy to be released and ready for more with the added space and freedom.
1960s
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Bucky mourns the loss of visible straining buttons with the change of fashion following the decade. Or, actually, he mours the loss right up until he gets to stuff his heavier husband again. In his new clothes.
Then, when he does stuff him in this new style (with new foods, of course), Bucky is suddenly much happier. Not just from stuffing him. He's much happier because, as it turns out, the buttons being hidden isn't that bad. Not at all 🤤
With his stuffy little sweater over his dress shirt, covering his tie and gaping buttons and struggling, worn-out belt, Bucky suddenly gains a whole new level of appreciation for sweaters - the sweater makes him look even chunkier. A layer of softness over his softness. Rounding him out even more. Padding him just that little bit more.
The sweater balloons out and out, showing the indents of each straining button underneath until...
His belly gets to be too much, too big, and his sweater creeps up, showing off the bottom of his button-up shirt where it's getting tugged out of his unbearably tightly belted pants.
That little sliver of his shirt. Exposed. It makes Bucky crazy.
And, oh, there's the waist band of his pants (not for long, his belly will start hanging over before long), too. A little bit.
Just a peak.
A tease that leaves Bucky unable to do anything but feed Steve a whole course by hand, packing food into him with the goal to push the hem of his sweater up higher and higher on the dome of his gut. He wants that dress shirt to come untucked from the stretch he's putting Steve's tummy through, too.
He wants it.
He wants to see the slow, drawn-out progression. The tease. Up and up and up; rounder and rounder and rounder.
Another perk of the sweater is the heat it brings. Steve's a big, growing boy, so he already gets hot fast. But, it only gets worse with his fat and added sweater insulation. Now when he stuffs himself - or when Bucky stuffs him - he turns the prettiest pink then red. Glistening with sweat. 🥵
Overtaxed.
Overheated.
Overfed.
More and more every day, more and more every year, Steve looks more overfed. Fatter. Heavier. Rounder.
(That might be the part about time, how it blends into a montage of growth.)
Sweaters and vests aren't Bucky's favorite 60s trend, though. Far from it. Bucky's favorite thing about the 60s is how suddenly everyone is into finger foods.
Deviled eggs, skewered meatballs in sweet-and-sour sauce, celery stuffed with cream cheese, cheese balls, etc. Anything you can eat with your hands, no silverware. Also, with the finger food comes dips. Clam dip, onion dip, and many more that Bucky would've never thought to make on his own. Dips for dipping little bits of food gripped between fingers.
And finger foods are fucking awesome because Steve eats then messily. At first, he shoves them inhumanly fast into his face, moaning and gasping and sighing. He comes home feeling starved (re: after not being stuffed to the brim, hardly able to move, during the workday), and seeing all the little pieces of food turn him into a monster. A hungry beast. He plows through the little morsels. Never getting enough. Steve uses one hand to settle his swelling gut, and his other hand blurs as he rapidly goes between trays of food and his mouth. Again, eating like an animal. An animal of Bucky's making - he trained him to eat like a pig after all.
When Steve finally slows down, rubbing his tummy and patting it, trying to get his belly to digest faster so he can have more, Bucky gets to swoop in. Another reason finger foods are fucking great. He picks up the little foods delicately and tucks them into Steve's still watering mouth.
With every mouthful, Steve's lips and tongue brush his fingers. It's electric, the wet, hot, slick feeling of his mouth. Pure sin.
Bucky's hands are close enough to Steve to feel it when he moans or when he burps, the hot rush of desperate air. Steve only burps around Bucky's fingers when it comes up so suddenly that Steve can't turn his head to the side to burp more politely. Privately, that gives Bucky quite the thrill, his dirty, hungry pig. Burping uncontrollably. Sure, moaning is hot as hell, but there's something extra about his burps.
Also, about the gurgling of his gut.
His gut under that fucking sweater, dress shirt, and tie. Now he's not just bloated anymore, though... not after a decade of stuffing, now he's got fat. His gut is bloated all the time, glutted fully, but he's also fat. He's soft.
He's never been more handsome, but he's only going to get more handsome as he gets fatter.
1970s
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With the turn of the decades, Bucky buys himself more clothes and gets himself familiar with rising food trends, and he also does as he always does, buying Steve new clothes, too. Usually, though, he buys what he knows Steve will wear. Just underwear for sleeping. Blue jeans and t-shirts for non work clothes. And formal work clothes. Boring and simple because Steve's never really cared about his body or looks, uncaring so long as he keeps functioning, but he's so handsome it doesn't matter that he doesn't care so much about fashion. This time, though, Bucky also buys what he hopes Steve will wear. Because something catches his eye.
He can't help himself.
He hopes with everything in him, that Steve will wear some of the tiny, little shorts that have come into fashion for men.
He desperately wants to see Steve in tiny shorts.
So, he buys a few pairs. Some jean shorts that look unforgiving and might cut his doughy waist in delicious halves, some softer more sweatpants-like shorts that will be easier on his sensitive, overstuffed body, and a pair that are modeled like women's athletic shorts, just for the shits and giggles of seeing Steve in something designed for athleticism.
Despite buying them with the intention to get Steve in them, Bucky's still not prepared for it when it happens. He doesn't even have to use his puppy dog eyes or have to wait to ask Steve until he's stuffed and pliable! Steve just shrugs and agrees to it. He's gotten more and more pliable (more domesticated) the larger he's gotten. Maybe it's the fat slowing his body and mind down. Maybe it's making him dumber to be full and indulged all the time. Maybe be stuffed satiates him, leaving him without any room to be stubborn or argue.
Either way, Bucky gets Steve into them. And he is unprepared.
Steve is poured into the little shorts. Not only is there no space between his pale, bare thighs, his thighs squish together, trying to find more space - they're so soft, wide, and excessive - and not getting any. His massive ass hangs out the back of the shorts. Dimpled and round. Like cake. Soft, soft cake that Bucky wants to bite.
His poor husband works up a sweat, waddling from one side of the room to the other and back again and again when Bucky tells him to. He wants to see that ass move.
He's. chunked. up.
Also, also, there's his hips. Those trim, little hips are nowhere to be seen. Instead, his tiny waist has expanded. His love handles hang out of his undershirt - a ribbed, white tank top - and lap over the waist of the shorts. His tummy has really, really started hanging recently; it's just as exposed as his fat sides. It's so heavy and large. Swollen like a fat tear drop.
He looks edible.
As compensation for being forced to strut his overweight, plush, pale body around their living room, Bucky feeds him his entire dinner by hand. And he does it from the couch. TV trays have been popular since their inception in the 50s, but Bucky has always gotten more of a kick out of feeding Steve at the table. Progressively watching his belly approach the table, then push over the edge of the table and spill onto his placemat as he's gotten bigger; progressively watching his hips fill his dining chair; progressively watching Steve struggle harder and harder to walk out of the dining room when he's finally finished, stuffed full.
Now, Bucky breaks out the (slightly out of fashion) trays.
He sets up the feast, course by course. Some of it is actual food: pineapple chicken, quiche, stuffed veggies, and cheese logs. Some of it is snacks, more and more processed crap becoming more common: cereal, crackers, chips, etc. And some of it is dessert: carrot cake and pudding.
Before he eats any of it, though, those little shorts are swallowed by Steve's heft. The scrap of fabric is hidden under his massive muffin top. Bucky digs his fingers into those pudgy love handles and groans.
"Gonna feed you outta these," he promises, voice gone all breathy.
Steve bats his eyelashes and lets his mouth drop open, expectant, and so outrageously hot. After the first bite, he speaks, though, chewing, then licking his lips, "you always do."
"Mmm-hmm, you wouldn't know how hard I had to look to find these in your size."
Steve makes a sound, but his mouth is stuffed fill.
"It was so hard. I wonder if they're gonna stop making anything big enough for you soon."
Stee swallows thickly, "they wouldn't."
Bucky stuffs a heaped fork into his mouth. Making a noise of consideration.
"You hear the news, people are just gettin' fatter. Year after year."
"You're getting fatter."
"Uh-huh."
"Gonna get so fat for me."
"I already am. 'M huge."
"Gonna make you fatter. Huger."
"Yeah," Steve moans, his eyes shut, entirely trusting Bucky, "Gonna get too fat for fat America to even keep up with me."
(I know obesity was actually declared an epidemic in the 80s, but shhhh)
1980s
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The 80s brings pasta salad, beef stroganoff, sloppy joes, pudding pops, 7-layer dip, blackened meat, bread bowls, cool ranch Doritos, and Hot Pockets. And Steve tackles it all looking like the hottest, fattest bad boy. Maybe like a mobster boss with his light wash jeans that look like they're painted on and his black leather jacket that he can't zip up. He could zip it up around his gut for, like, a week. Then, he outgrew it. Like everything. That gut.
God.
His gut has grown obscenely round. Like a ball. A beach ball. Maybe a small yoga ball. It forces his legs to spread when he walks, even if he isn't full, and it makes his back arch, too.
It's heavy. He complains about it. It's hard to lug around. He gets embarrassed when he's forced to sit down and then get up because he has to put so much effort into getting up. Heaving himself to his feet. Grunting. Bracing his back as if he's expecting. Getting up from the bed in the morning, getting up from the table after breakfast, getting into and out of his car to get to work, getting out of his office chair for lunch, getting out of his lunch chair, and on and on.
He has a hard time moving.
Bucky can tell.
Steve puts on his leather jacket and jeans on the weekend and then parks his ass in his recliner. He only moves when he has to go to the bathroom. Otherwise, he sits all day. Eating. Watching TV. Letting Bucky lower his recliner into a 180° line so Bucky actually has room to ride him. (One of the only ways to have sex now, with how large Steve has grown). There ain't no way Bucky would be able to get to his dick with that fat, thick belly in the way. There isn't even any room on his lap anymore. The monster of always-hungry gut has it monopolized. And his thighs are nearly too wide, too fat for Bucky to comfortably straddle.
But...
Bucky is a little obsessed with his leather jacket.
Sometimes, when he's half riding him, taking his cock, half feeding him a sloppy joe that makes him look like a pig, smeared over his mouth and chin, he will slap Steve's gut until he sucks in with a pained groan. Then, Bucky'll use all his strength to pull the sides of his leather jacket together, and he will wiggle the zipper up as far as it can go.
Steve grunts and moans and burps.
If he has the air, his lungs compressed by his gut, Steve will moan, "it hurts! Buck! I- I can't! M' too full!" But usually he can't even complain. He just has to take it.
When he stops sucking in, the zipper flies down.
Or, it usually does.
One afternoon, the pressure of his fat is too much for his jacket. Steve is bubbly and drunk and burping and Bucky is so close, writhing on top of him. And Steve's gut surprises them both by breaking the zipper.
It bursts open.
Instantly, Bucky's hands are all over that gut, and he's coming. All Steve can do is moan. Blinded with the release. His belly is stretched. Tight. Hanging off of his body. He's gonna fucking pop. Too much.
When did he get this fat?
Why does it make him so horny?
God.
He whines, almost choking out a sob, grabbing for Bucky's still slim hips with fat fingers, as he cries, "more, more, moremoremoremore."
1990s
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Steve may spend all of the 90s on a sugar high because he eats like a fucking kid throughout the years. All the sugar. All the processed crap. It's addictive. He swears. They have to put something in it. He smashes through boxes and boxes of snacks. All at once. The amount he goes through in just a week is unbelievable. He's a fucking black hole, well, not exactly... because Bucky knows exactly where all the food goes. His ever-swelling husband.
Steve eats it all, lunchables, hot pockets, bagel bites, pizza rolls, gushers, string cheese, fish sticks, fruit by the foot, toaster strudel, etc.
All literal junk. Junk food.
Bucky feeds him real food, too, of course. But Steve swears it feels like he can't get enough. Not enough food. Not enough of the fake, processed shit. Even when he's fighting his body's physical ability to fit more inside of himself, he can't have enough. He needs more. More sugar that his brain needs. More rich, homemade food that he will always eat, and will especially eat if Bucky gives him those puppy dog eyes, too.
So, what is he supposed to do but eat?
Admittedly, throughout the decades, Steve's never felt this out of control. He is, though. He's so out of control. And it feels so good.
He doesn't want control back. He only wants more.
Despite his vivacious hunger, Steve still can't believe how fast he's piling on the pounds. It's like he can feel himself blowing up. Like, if he leaves a hand on his gut, it'll expand visibly under his palm. Hot, gurgly, and only tight when he's at his absolute maximum. Most of the time, he's officially too fat to know when he's packed to the brim.
Nothing feels better.
Nothing fucks his mind more than thinking when he puts his hands on his body, he'll find a rock hard, bloated tummy only to sink his fingers into jiggly waves of fat; an ocean of fat. And it's all him.
His belly.
His fat.
Steve can, for a little, hide the bloat the shitty food leaves him with with the oversized, still bad-boy, grunge-like clothing of the decade, but he outgrows it so fast that he never can hide it for too long.
Even those JNCO jeans and baggy flannels can't contain his massive body. His belly. His love handles. His ass. His thighs. His rolls. He's too big. Too big for anything to be oversized on him.
Bucky buys him clothes more often throughout this decade than any other. It's not just in Steve's head. He is speeding through the pounds. Day in, day out, he's growing.
He's always eating. Always sweating. Always moaning.
If his mouth isn't full of food, he's sleeping, showering, using his mouth on Bucky, or he's chugging teeth-rotting soda. The carbination makes him burp so easily, and the burps shift all that food inside him around, allowing his belly to create just a little more room. Room that Steve instantly has to fill.
It's kinda like his body is finally taking after his hunger. When there's any tiny amount of space in his belly, his mind tells him he's starving and he has to fill it; if there's a tiny amount of slack in his clothes, his body expands to fill it. With so much fat and so much food, Steve's eyes are heavily lidded constantly. He feels drunk all the time when he's pigged out. Slow and lazy and uncoordinated. All he can do is let Bucky feed him and let Bucky take pleasure in his blubbery, irresistible body.
2000s
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Diets, raw diets, explode in the 2000s, but Bucky won't let Steve hear a word of it. He skips the fruit smoothies and salads and replaces them for Steve with more junk food. Pepsi. Energy drinks. Cupcakes. Cake pops. Pizza. There's also, again, meatloaf and mac 'n cheese. Chicken pot pie, too.
Steve keeps going. He keeps stuffing down junk on top of all the actual food. He keeps gaining and gaining and gaining. It's a barrage, constantly, of food.
"Buck," Steve's loose lips slur, "'m-I'm fat."
"You're not just fat, Stevie. You're huge. A hog. Massive. Enormous. A whale. Immense. A fucking yoga ball of blubber, baby."
"Yeah," Steve whines, rubbing the bloated sides of his gut that he can reach. "Fat."
"No, baby, you're more than fat. You're massive. Say it-" Bucky commands, jiggling his heavy belly.
"I'm m-massive."
"So fucking fat that I can't believe it. Need more words to tell you how huge you are."
Steve just shivers, looking as if he's suspended in orgasm. Getting off on being told how unbelievably big he has grown to be, and how much more bigger he is going to get.
Regardless of his size, Bucky isn't so sure that Steve is aware of the change in style. He's pretty sure he's just aware of his inflating body and the food. The new foods. The returning foods.
Into the Future
When he's not working, Bucky swears Steve is constantly in a food coma. Even when his eyes are open, he's all dopey. Zoned out and happier than Bucky has ever seen him so long as he's eaten within the last 30 minutes.
What a big, fat dumbass.
The perfect husband.
I don't even know what alternative universe this is; I didn't think this far because this is just a mess of horny, but I would like to imagine that by this point (the 2010s, 2020s, etc.), they have more than enough money to retire, OR maybe Steve is still working for a while, but he starts being able to work from home with computers becoming better and more common, so he doesn't have to leave. No more calories wasted by needing to walk or spend lunch away from his feeder husband.
But, just because he can, he still forces himself into clothes. At first. He doesn't need to because he's not seeing anyone else, he may as well be naked all day every day, exposing his white, soft fat that's striped with stretch marks from decades of indulgence, ballooning like biscuit dough from a little cardboard tube.
Still, he keeps forcing himself into clothes for some time.
He does it until he can't.
It happens seemingly overnight.
Suddenly, he's too fat. Too big. Even his shirts large enough to look like a tent on a normal sized human are too small. He can hardly walk by himself, so, of course, dressing himself is out of the question. His body is just too big. Round. Heavy. All he's good for is eating.
He's overqualified for stuffing himself. It's all he's been focusing on for decades, after all. Steve always ate like it was his job, packing down delicious, fatty calories by inhaling food until he was on the cusp of bursting, forming new stretch marks before Bucky's very eyes, but now it is his job.
"Grow for me," Bucky whispers worshipfully, "that's all you gotta do, baby. Grow." Crawling all over his overflowing body.
And grow Steve does.
Until he's bigger than he could've ever imagined being.
Steve's stomach is massive - a huge, round, plush ocean of fat attached to his front. Thick and blubbery. His ass is dimpled and just as massive with thighs to match. His heavy body leaves him lumbering and waddling whenever he does manage to get up. Awkward but also so fucking hot with the way he jiggles all over as he manages one foot in front of the other.
Meanwhile, Bucky spends his time still cooking but also loving on his massive husband. He's always worshipping all that fat, massaging and groping and fucking it. He's irresistible. Unbelievably attractive in his truest form - a show winning hog.
As Bucky feeds and fucks his rolls, Steve just lies there, his head tipped back, food in his plush mouth, panting. Chest heaving; moobs wobbling. Splattering come somewhere deep in his rolls as his fat rubs and moves against him just right - that's all the stimulation he gets these days, his dick has been swallowed by his lard.
There isn't a time when Steve isn't stuffed to feeling as if he's gonna pop. Even though it takes so much more to fill his stretched-out tummy these days. Even in the middle of the night (because Bucky wakes him up to funnel shakes or melted ice cream straight into his ever-expanding gut).
By this point in their long lives, Steve's the size of their mattress.
A full, huge glutton.
And Steve doesn't want to stop. Neither does Bucky. With every mouthful of food, Steve moans just as loud as he always has, praising Bucky's cooking like he's a God (and he practically is at this point, he's spent so many years perfecting his craft). Plus, Steve's just as eager to try new foods. Still, Steve's just as pleased to add pounds, stretch marks, and rolls to his oversized body. The only difference is that now, popping buttons or bursting seams are not bench marks for his gain. Now, the signs of his growth come from the creaking, then the cracking of the slats underneath his massive body.
One day, the bed is going to give out. And he's only going to groan for more food - not for it to be fixed where he lies in the middle of the shattered bed frame, unable to do anything about his predicament. He can't even think about it. All he can think about is how hungry he is. His stomach is packed, and he doesn't know where any food is going to go, but he needs it. He needs to keep chewing, to keep growing, to keep feeding. Please. Please. Please. It's all he needs. He's addicted.
In conclusion:
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tybaltsjuliet · 2 years
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must see horror movies?
the cabinet of dr. caligari (1920). the first cult film. the first horror film. the sets! the somnambulist! the cultural debts we owe this movie will never be repaid.
häxan (1922). a folk-horror fantasia. i've been thinking a lot lately about that teju cole quote about how fiction and nonfiction is not a natural way to split up narrative experiences, and this is a wonderful example of that.
frankenstein (1931). and, really, all of the universal horror movies. but to get your foot in the door at the monster mash, this one is the way to go.
the night of the hunter (1955). robert mitchum as the most sinister of ministers. you can argue that this isn't a horror film per se, but i'll argue harder. one of my favorite pieces of southern gothic, too.
(horror of) dracula (1958). the best of all dracula films and the place to begin with hammer horror. (the sequels get mad campy. but no less entertaining.)
psycho (1960). you don't need me to recommend psycho but i'm doing it anyway and i am doing it for anthony perkins, who deserved a goddamn oscar for this.
night of the living dead (1968). dawn and day are equally worthy for different reasons but nothing beats the locked-down nightmare that started it all.
ganja & hess (1973). this is the only gothic vampire romance that matters. like so much great horror (see: the night of the hunter, above), and especially great horror by marginalized creators, this was rightfully vindicated by history and yet still deserves to be vindicated harder.
the wicker man (1973). summerisle's got everything: christopher lee; bawdy folk songs; phallic maypoles; the battle between christian law and order and the old ways' rights and rites; A CHILD. if you've gotten this far in life without knowing the ending, go watch this immediately before that can change. not only the best folk horror movie of all time, but possibly one of the best movies of all time, period.
the texas chain saw massacre (1974). i didn't see this till 2020, somehow. i thought i was desensitized to whatever it might throw at me after spending my adolescence bragging about getting through a serbian film and thinking house of 1000 corpses was the funniest thing i ever saw. i was dead fucking wrong and i'm so glad i was. every now and then you come across a movie, new or new to you, that reminds you why you're so in love with a genre and revitalizes your passion for it. texas chain saw did that for me.
the omen (1976). my favorite religious horror movie of all time, even more so than the exorcist. also has what i personally consider the scariest scene in any horror movie (the graveyard sequence). gregory peck having been a lifelong devout catholic really adds a certain je ne sais quoi to his performance as the father.
halloween (1978). what is horror without the slasher, and what is the slasher without halloween? i really don't care about your freddys and your jasons. michael myers is where it's at.
hellraiser (1987). like texas chain saw, one of the classics that really puts the horror back in horror. a complete fucking nightmare from start to finish, and the cenobites aren't even the worst of it.
event horizon (1997). yes, see alien. yes, see annihilation. but don't neglect this (literal) hellscape of an outer space horror movie. it is neither glossy nor groundbreaking but it is deeply committed to being horrifying and it succeeds.
el laberinto del fauno (2006). nothing like a fairy tale about a princess of the underworld set against the backdrop of franco's spain to remind you that no one is doing the blending of fantastic horrors and very, very real horrors like guillermo del toro. not to mention that the creature designs in this movie are off the charts - the faun is the most beautiful being i have ever seen.
over the garden wall (2014). (not technically a movie but watched all together it's only about two hours and this is my list, so.) don't let the cutesy old-fashioned cartoon style and jaunty songs fool you. what starts off as charming, if unsettling, folksy quirkiness quickly gives way to another terrific fantasy horror. i watch this annually at halloween and it fucks me up every year.
last night in soho (2021). i hesitate to put something with a plot pretty much entirely revolving around rape and SA on a "must-see" list, but if that is subject matter you're not highly sensitive to, this is a terrific angle on the rape revenge horror movie. not as crass as the, uh, classics of the subgenre, but not defanged to the opposite end of offensiveness like a certain other blonde-led "revenge" movie i won't name. another one of my personal favorites.
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shmaptainwrites · 10 months
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Any way you could do a Hawkeye/Reader one shot with the prompt “ “i like you just the way you are” 🥺🥺
I love your writing style!
hi bestie! thank you and of course i can :) i did fem reader with this but if you’d prefer something different lemme know and i can edit it as soon as i can :))
Pairings: Hawkeye Pierce x fem!Reader
Warnings: alcohol, insecurity
Just the Way You Are
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A time old saying your mother used to tell you for when things didn’t seem to be going your way was that maybe you just needed a change of scenery. You didn’t realize it would come in the form of a draft letter.
In a snap your life went from small town to war zone, thrown right in the deep end.
“A MASH unit? What’s that?” you frowned. “I thought nurses were stationed in Seoul or somethin’?”
“It stands for mobile surgical army hospital. We keep ‘em close to the front so the doctors can patch them up there so they’re well enough to get to Seoul or Tokyo. Someone will drive you to the 4077th first thing tomorrow.”
You nodded your head and thought that given the information it might be best to try and get some sleep.
That seemed to escape you and instead the gears in your mind turned at the realization that absolutely no one would know you here.
The girl who was pegged as innocent, vulnerable, too empathetic with terrible luck in love was unknown to whoever you were going to be working with and it was the perfect opportunity to start fresh, but as what was the question.
After a rather sleepless night of planning, you woke up bright and early to get on the jeep and head down to Ouijonbou. As soon as you arrived after the long and somewhat treacherous journey, your commanding officer, Major Houlihan, was quick to welcome you to her team of nurses and introduced you to your colleagues and showed you where you would be staying.
“Major Im really unfamiliar with the working of a MASH unit but I’m a hard worker and I’m ready to learn. Just might need a bit of educating here and there,” you smiled.
“That’s no problem, everyone here was in your position at one point or another. Us nurses have to stick together alright, (L/N)?”
“Yes ma’am,” you nodded.
“I’ll let you get settled, but if you hear the call for choppers OR is that way,” she pointed and you nodded again in confirmation.
“Thanks again, Major,” you waved.
“Sure, you ever need anything you let me know.”
With the Major gone you got to unpacking and getting to know your bunk mates.
“So what did you do for fun back home?” Nurse Kellye asked.
“Oh…well,” you paused and thought for a moment. Your answer probably should have been something along the lines of reading or riding your bike around town, but you had decided you wanted to paint yourself as someone who was adventurous. Didn’t take no for an answer. Someone that other people looked up to and admired. So you embellished a little. “I have a motorbike,” you said. “I take it out on the freeway, ride it around town. Just to get outside, you know?”
“Wow a motorcycle?” Nurse Bellows looked at you in astonishment. “I could never bring myself to get on one of those things.”
“Takes a bit to get used to, but once you do it’s smooth sailing.”
Your conversation was interrupted by a call on the PA about choppers and the nurses quickly instructed you on the procedure as you ran out to the compound to await the ambulances.
Before you knew it you were scrubbed in all white, working alongside Dr. Hunnicutt with his patients.
Your particular area of expertise wasn’t necessarily in OR but you had the training for it so you got by with only a fumble or two.
By the time all of the wounded had made their way through OR it was dark outside and you wondered quietly to yourself if this was what every day was going to feel like.
Pure exhaustion, not even a single glimmer of energy.
It was no surprise to your roommates when you simply changed out of your dirty scrubs and went straight to bed. On your first day, showering could definitely wait.
Even within the first day you had developed quite a reputation with your fellow nurses. The Major loved you because despite your new personality you weren’t here to ruffle anyone’s feathers so you paid great attention to her instructions and carried them out to a T, but also managed to have some fun with your colleagues.
You were tossing around a baseball for some practice before your nurses versus enlisted men game when your partner overshot the ball and you had to run to catch it in your glove before it hit the ground.
“I got it! I got it! I-Oof!
You felt a large obstruction in front of you and stumbled back only to see the ball land on the ground.
“Hey, I was trying to…” you looked up and blinked a few times in astonishment. “H-Hawkeye?”
“Well, would you look at what Uncle Sam dragged in,” he chuckled. “What are you doing in this neck of the war?”
“Drafted, you?”
“Same,” he nodded. “I didn’t know you played baseball,” he motioned to your gloved hand. “Thought you were more of a stay at home and read type.”
You shrugged, “Uh, people change. I-I really gotta go Hawk, Cindy’s waiting for me. Maybe we can catch up some other time?”
“Sure, a drink in the officer’s club?”
“Sounds good,” you nodded. “I’ll see you around.”
Of the 400 people that lived in Crabapple Cove you had to run into one of them in Korea.
Your drinks with Hawkeye kept getting delayed. At one point it was because there was a camp wide outbreak of the measles and naturally a quarantine ensued, at another point there were back to back days in OR followed by everyone in camp sleeping like a log, and you seemed to have better luck getting a few dates here and there with some of the enlisted men who had taken a shine to you, unfortunately all of them didn’t seem such a good fit.
“Crazy how fast time flies huh?” Hawkeye asked when you finally sat down with your drinks.
“Yeah, feels like a couple of days, but I’ve already been here two months,” you agreed.
“And just as busy as the rest of us,” he chuckled. “Seems you’ve become the most popular person in camp.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” you raised a brow and took a sip of your beer.
“Not bad, just different. Different from the version of you I grew up with.”
“Like I said, people change,” you shrugged.
“War will do that to a person,” Hawkeye sighed. “Anyway, how’s home?”
“Home’s nice,” you smiled. “Missing it more every day. I mean I left for nursing school and came back only to be shipped off.”
“At least you’ve got all the procedures fresh in mind. Sometimes I worry with all this meatball surgery I’ll forget how to take someone’s tonsils out.”
“If you need practice I still got mine,” you teased and he chuckled.
“Who would have thought coming from Crabapple Cove we’d find each other on the other end of the world.”
“Yeah, the universe sure has a funny sense of humour,” you stared down into your cup before taking another sip.
“You still read much?”
“Not since I got here,” you shook your head. “Major Houlihan’s got us working double time with all the wounded coming in and on top of it we need to keep the place spick and span.”
“Just make sure she doesn’t work you to your grave before the rest of the war does.”
“I’ll try.”
The rest of your night was relaxed, but you couldn’t help but feel like something was off, before you could give it much thought you had ambulances in the compound and it was back to work.
It seemed your luck had run out for the night because patient after patient there was one complication after another and it was not looking up to be a good shift.
“Maybe you should take ten lieutenant,” the Colonel suggested.
“No I’m fine,” you shook your head, a blatant lie, but the new you wasn’t bothered by things like this.
“(Y/N), I think Potter’s right, maybe you should take a minute,” Hawkeye counselled.
“I said I’m fine, Hawk,” you insisted. “Just let me do my work please.”
You kept your head down for the rest of the shift in OR and once it was over you slipped out before anyone was the wiser and gave you a lecture on not taking more than you could handle.
Your eyes filled with tears before you were even halfway across the compound, but you refused to let anyone see you in such a state. Maybe you’d be the one working yourself into a grave before the war got to you, or maybe it already had.
“Can you close up or do you need a break?” BJ asked you.
“I think I’m alright,” you nodded, but before you could take the needle from him your joints locked and you pulled back in pain.
“Woah, maybe I should just take care of this,” BJ nodded.
“Hey, let me have a look at that,” Hawkeye said, pulling off his gloves and walking towards you. “No more wounded, right Klinger?”
“You’re all good, sir,” Klinger nodded from the door and Hawkeye took that as his cue to grab your other wrist and pull you to pre-op.
He sat you down on one of the beds there and wordlessly filled a bowl with warm water so that you could place your hand inside and loosen up your joints.
“Who the hell are you trying to impress here, (N/N)?” Hawkeye asked and you blinked and looked up at him.
“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I think you do,” he nodded and took your hand out of the water, wrapping it in a towel and gently massaging it. “You’re pulling double shifts in OR, covering for your friends, and on top of it living this life that isn’t yours.”
“Hawkeye you don't understand,” you shook your head. “Everyone has always liked you. When we were in school the parents loved you because you knew when to be well-behaved and the kids loved you because you knew when not to be. I’m trying to even myself out and get better at the second part.”
“And you’re gonna kill yourself in the process,” he shook his head.
“Easy for you to say, you’re not the one who’s been stuck in a town with only 400 people and half of them don’t even know your name let alone like you. No one’s ever liked me for me so I decided I was gonna be someone else.”
“I liked you,” he said quietly.
“W-What?”
“I like you,” he said plainly. “Just as you are.”
You blinked a few times more and stayed silent.
“And maybe you’d consider taking it easy for someone who likes you, and knows your name, and doesn’t care if you ride a motorbike or get hit hard in OR like we all do.”
He gently held your arm and leaned in, pressing a small kiss to your cheek before turning around to make his way into post op leaving you with a lot to think about.
Hawkeye and BJ found themselves aimlessly walking around the compound as they usually did when there was nothing to do.
“No wounded, post op is almost empty, peace talks are resuming, BJ dare I say it but I think the war is starting to look up,” Hawkeye chuckled.
BJ chuckled as they walked by the nurses throwing around Klinger’s baseball only for it to land by BJ’s feet.
BJ picked up the ball and tossed it to Nurse Jenkins while Hawkeye scanned the crowd for you.
“Hey where’s (Y/N)?” he asked. “She normally plays with you guys.”
“She decided to take it easy today,” Nurse Kellye told him. “I think she’s by the tent.”
Hawkeye and BJ turned in the direction of the tent to see you lounging in a chair with your feet kicked up and a book in your hands.
“If you’ll excuse me Beej, I’m gonna go check in on a friend.”
Hawkeye walked over to where you sat and pulled up another chair.
“Mind if I join you?” he asked and you looked up from your novel and shook your head. “I see you traded a glove for a book.”
“Temporarily,” you shrugged. “Baseball actually kind of grew on me. I'm not gonna quit that.”
“Fair enough,” Hawkeye chuckled.
“But I have decided to quit the double shifts, and all the extras if you know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I think I do,” Hawkeye nodded.
You closed your book and put it down next to your chair and looked at Hawkeye.
“Thanks Hawk, really for telling me it was okay to stop,” you said. “You were right I would have run myself into an early grave trying to keep up with everything.”
“What are old friends for,” he reached out for your hand and gave it a squeeze.
You stood up from your chair and moved next to his, bending down so you were both at eye level with each other.
“And this is a little something just as a thank you for reminding me I’m alright just the way I am,” you whispered and leaned in, pressing a soft and gentle kiss to his lips only for him to pull you closer as the nurses hollered and whistled behind you.
“Would the old you say yes to me if I asked if you’d come on a date with me?” Hawkeye asked.
“By old me do you mean the one that grew up with you?” you asked and he nodded. “Probably not, but,” you quickly butted in. “The new old me would.”
“The new old you?” Hawkeye chuckled.
“Can’t stay the same forever Hawk, just like baseball can grow on a person in a certain way, you can too.”
“I’ll take it. Otherwise I wouldn’t be a man of my word.”
“Because you like me just as I am,” you smiled.
“That I do.”
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tags: @robin-the-enby
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everygame · 2 months
Text
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Hi-Fi Rush
Developed/Published by: Tango Gameworks / Bethesda Released: 25/01/2023 Completed: 09/12/2023 Completion: Finished it!
I loved this.
I’m not quite sure why, but saying so feels very exposing. Maybe it’s because before playing Hi-Fi Rush I had no idea what it actually was, and the game’s bright anime-adjacent stylings somewhat had me discounting it out of hand, so I assume the extremely cool people who read this would be doing the same.
Maybe it’s also just that Hi-Fi Rush is… pretty straightforward? It’s not particularly trying to move the medium forward (although I think it does some clever stuff) it’s just trying to be very, very good at what it’s doing. And what it’s doing, actually, isn’t so much “anime” as “full on Sega blue skies” while being an incredible competent 3D action platformer/brawler with a likable (dare I say loveable) cast of heroic misfits telling a simple but effectively structured narrative with some very savvy music choices.
The thing is that… succeeding at something that hits that many beats isn’t actually… easy? Something I’m most struck by is actually those characters. By now we’ve all seen the nadir of Marvel-inspired quip-a-thons thanks to the likes of that Forsaken trailer, but even looking at something like, say, Guardians of the Galaxy, where they have something that (at least previously) had worked, it’s remarkable how flat it falls. Here, you have a goofy, act-first-think-later hero, Chai, the cleverer-than-him female leader, Peppermint, the funny robot, CNMN, etc. in a very simple “baddies are doing bad things, let’s get the different things we need to defeat them” story, but it completely pops because there’s been care to keep the story rolling naturally so you flow through it and grow into caring about them. I’m so insanely curmugeonly that I can’t believed to ride that line for me. But they did!
Now you could say, “ah, but the secret weapon here is that the game uses actual songs that you actually like! That always works!” But it doesn’t work if all the pieces don’t fit together. There’s no better example than one of the game’s latter levels that uses The Prodigy’s Invaders Must Die. It plays at a moment where narratively all hell is breaking loose. It feels like you’re in a climax of an action movie, not just because the music is playing, but because the story has taken you there. That the level design is clever enough to cool down, let the music pull back a little, and then kick it back in for a climax? Absolute chef kiss.
(It only really gets better from there, too. Ending strong is rarely something I think video games aspire to, but Hi Fi Rush is sensibly around the 10 hour mark and the last three levels or so rip. Did the appearance of The Joy Formidable on the soundtrack literally make me emotional? Yes. Yes it did.)
Now interestingly, I haven’t actually played any other Tango Gameworks titles so I don’t really know if I should have expected rock-solid play, but either way I was surprised by how well it does. What makes Hi Fi Rush genius, I think, is that it takes a type of game I am incapable of not button-mashing through and adds a rhythm action component that doesn’t expect but rather, uh… politely asks you to hit your combos on rhythm. And it works!
I can criticise it, somewhat, however They quickly add quite a lot of subtleties to the combat and don’t tutoralise them heavily enough–I didn’t understand how to use Chai’s “partner combos” until well over half-way through the game, and I don’t know if I ever got comfortable with parries because standing around waiting for enemies to attack seemed the antithesis of everything else I was doing. There end up being a lot of buttons and you have to internalise the order of your partners and switching between them rapidly in situations where there are like 3 different kinds of enemies at once meaning at times combat is just a total stramash. But even then, there’s always the beat to follow. It’s very clever.
Anyway. I loved this. It’s one of my favourite things I’ve played in years. Your mileage may vary!
Will I ever play it again? When it finished I wanted to play it more. That literally never happens. I sort of hope there’s a sequel, but the story of this is so pleasantly complete that I’m not sure if there should be one.
Final Thought: I may also be a bit of a sucker for this game because you’re always accompanied by a black cat. Inspired by the game director’s!
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wolves-in-the-world · 6 months
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tags on krakenartificer's post about a leverage au where nate enters the priesthood but ends up running cons for people who come to him for help anyway:
#now i need a crossover episode of catholic priest nate who's still running leverage style shenanigans #with father brown [via @trivalentlinks]
thank you for making me stare at the wall in fascination and horror about this crossover
they'd be occasional allies occasional confidantes they'd go behind each other's backs once or twice and only kinda regret it. This nate hasn't gone through the same loss as in canon, but that wouldn't make him a whole lot softer, so he'd be fundamentally irritated with father brown - his tested and unshakeable belief and his optimism about the human condition - and father brown would be generally concerned about everyone on nate's end, and nate not the least of it. They'd play chess together and be fairly well-matched. They'd visit each other's confessionals to check in.
we'd get some interesting acknowledgement of father brown's "I'm nice and simple and harmless" grift (which I could also call power negativity) which is only kind of a grift because he really is that nice and harmless beneath, except that he uses it to get information from people.
flambeau would be utterly thrilled and (playfully?) insulted not to be father brown's only criminal associate.
the leverage crew would be correctly suspicious of flambeau, I think, but sophie would greet him by name - possibly with a kiss to the cheek, possibly eyeing him like he's a viper in their midst - and reference some very improbable occasion when they were after the same prize. He mentions she was using a different name then; he doesn't say what it was. Bonus points if he also had his eye on the dagger in the Rashomon Job but had the flu / was unexpectedly in prison / had to attend a grandmother's funeral at the time.
I have this certainty in my mind that the leverage crew would be largely dismissive of sid's abilities and he'd kind of snort and roll his eyes about it - he's at worst a common criminal and very lower class, so he's used to being understimated - and surprise them with his connections or lock-picking or holding his own in a brawl or fixing an elderly car in the quickest dirtiest way imaginable. (Parker would decide she likes him then; the others would be reassured after seeing how gentle he is when talking with her.) He'd also nope out of leverage's business at a sensible time, because father brown's rubbed off on him and he doesn't actually want that kind of danger - unless the con's personal.
(I'm not sure whether to set this in leverage time or drag it back to father brown's 1950s so I'm settling for mashing the two together and pretending it's not an issue. See also: geography.)
… father brown would have I think one harrowing conversation with eliot where they mention their time in the military, the marks that killing people and losing people leaves on a person - father brown already does this in canon, tells someone it's unfair that they're mired in trauma and alcoholism when he found his faith through trauma instead, it floored me - and after brushing on repentance and god here, he wouldn't bring it up with eliot again. (I think father brown varies on this in canon, frankly, but he often respects that kind of boundary, and I think he'd recognise a wound so sore it should be left to heal however it can.)
(yes I'm playing with fictional priests like barbie dolls but no I'm not comfortable with the conversion aspects, so apologies and bear with me while I skate on past that.)
(he'd describe eliot as a good person, once, or as someone working very hard at it. Eliot would be on edge about that for the entire con, finding a little too much uneasy satisfaction in getting to knock people out and play the bad guy - play at the simpler stuff he used to do. Sophie might catch father brown for a word about it; father brown wouldn't be that clumsy again.)
I think father brown and nate would both talk bunty out of getting involved in a joint kembleford-leverage operation except in the most innocent way possible. The problem is she actually would make a good getaway driver, and she's thrilled with the idea, but she's already had some run-ins with the press and the law and can't risk another; luckily she's better used as a distraction elsewhere.
and I'm sorry to do this, but I think lady felicia's husband would be a mark or potential mark at one point. It would be fraught.
(the main reason I haven't recommended father brown's heist episode (s7e10), aside from not having a background on the politics in it, is that it shows lady felicia as a victim and pulls the heist on her behalf. The show largely convinced me to ignore the messy reality of her and her husband's inherited wealth, but that episode made me kinda uncomfortable - which is a shame, because seeing these characters pull a heist was fucking great.)
mrs mccarthy would be used against her will or knowledge as a distraction while someone's pockets are picked. She isn't told until afterwards, and then only half by accident. She is, of course, horrified. Father brown was absolutely the one to suggest it in planning, but flambeau slips in mid-apology to smoothly take the blame.
I could in fact go on and this is in fact a problem.
editing to continue:
I'm actually thinking that father brown might approach eliot from an ex-military angle and not a Religious Authority angle at all - eliot was raised protestant, after all, and it's an entirely different vibe. And I have to think eliot's guarded around father brown for the very fact that he's a priest and seems to mean it in a way that nate, I feel, wouldn't. So they may avoid the topic entirely, or as close to it as they can when brushing on, well, eliot's entire moral injury situation. Which is good news for me.
bunty would admire parker for being different and capable and getting up to exciting things, though would probably fail at any attempts at friendship until she thinks to ask what parker likes doing and ends up learning to pick pockets that evening. The second those two are around buildings tall enough to rappel down she's in danger. (The second parker can slip away at night she's giving the church a go; father brown gives her a look the night before and quietly warns her about the dodgy roof.)
mrs mccarthy decides fairly quickly that hardison is a very nice young man (his nana instincts are online and functional) even if he spends far too much time on the wretched computer. She's determined to feed him and half the time he's determined to find ways to politely refuse, though the strawberry scones are actually pretty good.
she's appalled by eliot's job, and fiercely territorial of her kitchen when he offers help, even just cleaning up, but once she's seen him get in the way of trouble she's absolutely catching his arm and half hiding behind him in any crisis real or perceived. (She still doesn't approve of him.)
lady felicia sees hardison and eliot as two very different kinds of novelties and does some talking to hardison about tech (mostly listening and marveling) and some quietly ogling both of them, and especially eliot once she's seen him fighting. (Eliot unfortunately turned on his charm when he realised she sort of expected it. She doesn't get to chat with charming southern gents all that often - it's very shallow, and she's not serious about it.)
thank goodness bunty's too young for eliot so I don't have to go there. He has to tuck her out of sight in a barn at some point when trouble's headed their way; when the mess is almost cleaned up and she's grabbed a rifle from somewhere to tell the the remaining goon to clear off, with every appearance of competence, eliot takes it from her and disarms it with a smear of blood under his nose and a slightly betrayed expression.
hardison and sid get along, aside from a little initial insecurity on the parker front, and get to bitch a bit about flambeau, who hardison mistrusts from the start.
flambeau... he admires parker, from a distance - professionally and not very effusively - but after he watches her work for a while he seems to realise who she was trained by, and tells her as much. He says he was too, for a very short time, and it's unclear if he'd gain anything from making it up. Says that he and archie had a difference of opinion - and has a way of saying it that implies there might have been fire involved.
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systemrestart · 22 days
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Took me a while, but I've finally finished writing my thoughts on all 22 Touhou games I've played!!!
I tried to keep it brief but uhhhhhhh it ended up being insanely long anyways ;; Whoops. Maybe someday I'll be able to make full-on video reviews for each of them, there was a Lot I glazed over and a lot that's hard to describe without footage.
But regardless, here it is, my thoughts on Touhou 1-19, plus 9.5, 12.5, and 18.5! (Warning that this may be incomprehensible to a non-bullet hell player 😅)
[TOUHOU 1: HIGHLY RESPONSIVE TO PRAYERS]
The obvious black sheep of the family, HRtP isn't a bullet hell shooter, it's an arkanoid-style breakout game. But even so, I LOVE it. HRtP is very precious to me. It's definitely Hard, VERY hard, and the stage layouts can be a little unfair in places lol, but the controls are tight and responsive, and it's incredibly satisfying to improve.
Or even just to play purely for fun! For a decade, I honestly didn't expect to ever 1cc it, I just enjoyed playing casually, and HRtP is very friendly to that approach, with infinite continues, the ability to max out your starting lives, and a shorter time to complete than the other games. It's almost 30 years old now, but if you like breakout style games or old arcade, I still think it's worth a try! Maybe someone else out there will come to love it as much as I do
[TOUHOU 2: STORY OF EASTERN WONDERLAND]
Touhou's first proper shmup/bullet hell, and it is unquestionably the roughest in the series ;; That's not to say it's bad, just that it's aged a little poorly.
I try not to hold future QoL stuff against the older games, but man, not having a focus option, or health bars for the bosses, is Painful. This game also has some of the worst visibility issues in the series (like, bullets being the same color as the background, with no outline), and also an awful glitch that hurts gameplay (dying SHIFTS YOUR HITBOX. considering that knowing where your hitbox is is VITAL to survival……. yikes), so yeah, I understand why it's not fondly remembered.
But it has its charms!! There's the infamous (gay) conversation in Stage 2, this is the only game in which Genji (Reimu's pet turtle who helps her fly in the PC-98 games) speaks, I think the low cap on lives+easy score 1-ups is an interesting combo, AND this game introduced Marisa!!! Even if her design is very different now
I don't play this one much. If I were to rank all the games this one would probably be second lowest. But it's an okay time and you can still get some tense battles!!
[TOUHOU 3: PHANTASMAGORIA OF DIMENSIONAL DREAM]
The first VS shooter of the series!
Basically the idea is that you clear waves of enemies to both send bullets/attacks at your enemy, and charge your gauge to send even more powerful attacks, or even a boss. First to lose all their health loses the round.
The VS shooters are very chaotic, and the enemy AI can absolutely be unfair ;; But the high energy back-and-forth of a match is extremely thrilling!! I also really adore the final boss of this game, Yumemi Okazaki……. a human college professor from the real world, who came to Gensokyo to try and capture someone to prove magic is real to her school…… and she fights with, science? I find her super charming and fun, one of my favorite final boss characters
Now that I've played other VS shooters, including the game that apparently inspired this one, I can say that PoDD is very rudimentary. But sometimes you don't need a lot of fancy bells and whistles to have fun! Now if only it didn't require button mashing, I would play it more often……..
[TOUHOU 4: LOTUS LAND STORY]
LLS was my favorite Touhou game for a long, long, long time.
A big reason it was a favorite is because it's one of the most beginner friendly games by far. No cap on lives (plus 1-ups are granted by score, one of the easier systems), a free bomb after every stage, you can increase your starting lives significantly, there's a "slowmode" option to help you train, most of the patterns are either exploitable or designed around having no visible hitbox…… etc. It was first game I beat on Hard, way back when I was a teenager and could normally only play Easy mode. That's still a precious memory.
LLS also has one of the best overall soundtracks in the entire series. The fun, dream-like Lotus Love, into the tense and foreboding Sleeping Terror, into the calm anticipation of Dream Land, into an explosive heartpounding finale with Faint Dream ~ Inanimate Dream………. absolutely killer.
LLS has aged a little, it doesn't have much of the "flashy", colorful danmaku Touhou is known for. And despite being GENERALLY pretty easy there are a couple insanely difficult patterns that aren't balanced well. Aside from that, it's a little Too easy for me now (at least on Hard and below), but, I still play it regularly just for fun, and will always have a very special place in my heart for it.
(plus, side note, LLS was the introduction of the Stage 4 gimmick, where something is unique about the 4th Stage, boss, or both. I love Stage 4 gimmicks and miss them dearly in the newer games,,)
[TOUHOU 5: MYSTIC SQUARE]
God I love MS. I love MS so much. Probably my second favorite in the series at time of writing.
MS truly is the Greatest Hits of the PC-98 era. Mima and Yuuka come back as playable characters, the danmaku patterns are fun and unique (so much so that ZUN reused a few of them in future games!!!), it has most of the QoL features LLS had besides the free bombs, it introduced one of my favorite characters (Alice), and this is one of the few games where I actually find the faster characters easier/more fun to play as!! Both due to the bullet patterns themselves and because the 1-up system (point item collection) is especially suited for fast characters.
MS is much harder than LLS, but a lot easier than some of the later Touhou games, so it's a great middle ground in terms of difficulty. I only have 2 major critisicms; 1) while the 1-up system and patterns make fast characters more rewarding, there isn't good balance for the other options, so if you wanna play Yuuka you're kind of screwed. And 2) Stage 4. I actually love the Stage 4 gimmick (dual boss that's followed by a solo fight after you take one of them down), but Lord. Stage 4 has two awful glitches that can happen to you, and bullets that are the exact same color as the background. ZUN why
Besides that though, I think MS just naturally caters to my preferred playstyle (chaotically weaving and dancing through bullet spam), so it's a top tier entry for me :)
[TOUHOU 6: EMBODIMENT OF SCARLET DEVIL]
If MS isn't my 2nd favorite in the series, this one is.
I will say this. EoSD has Aged. Imo, it's aged more than MS has. Being ZUN's first Windows game it's a little rough around the edges; muddy graphics, rough soundfonts, heavier reliance on RNG and bullet spam over intricate patterns, and it's missing certain QoL features that it Feels like it should have (like, the PC-98 games were missing stuff, but those games felt like they were built around the limitations, EoSD has a lot of areas where it FEELS like it was designed with future QoL in mind, but it's just….. missing). It also sucks that EoSD is one of only 2 games that locks you out of the final stage if you play on Easy (LLS is the other one),,
But. EoSD is still beloved for a reason. One of the most solid soundtracks in the series, a fun Stage 4 gimmick (different spellcards for different shot types), score-based 1-up system, the introduction of the Point of Collection line, some Iconic boss battles, etc. AND, one of those weaknesses is actually kind of a Strength for me, because again, my preferred play style is well suited to bullet spam!! Stages 5 and 6 are SO fun for me, even though they're commonly cited as things people DISLIKE about EoSD.
EoSD is definitely unpolished, but it's still one of my top favorites, both for its general strengths and for how it caters well to me personally lol.
[TOUHOU 7: PERFECT CHERRY BLOSSOM]
PCB is my current favorite!!
Of all Touhou games, I feel PCB strikes a perfect balance between being accessible, but also still having challenges for those that want it. The patterns are really a step up from EoSD; with the introduction of a visible hitbox, ZUN could make them both more dense and more complex/unique, but they're designed to still be easily understandable. Other QoL features were added that also help a lot (like the enemy tracker, spellcard indicators on the healthbar, success/fail counters, you can save practice mode replays, etc). There's also good variety in the playable characters, each has their own advantages and disadvantages, and one of the best shot types in the entire series is here (SakuyaA lol).
I feel like just saying that doesn't express my love though, there's truly nothing like weaving through a dense maze of beautiful bullets, and PCB is one of THE best for that feeling. I also love this game's 'special feature'; the cherry borders. Not only are they fantastic for survival and training (the border acting as a shield allows you to try new things and take risks where you otherwise wouldn't/couldn't), you can also utilize them in various way; break them on purpose at optimal points to maximize score, keep them as long as possible to milk graze points, use them to clear difficult patterns and stage sections……. it's just a great system that adds depth without overwhelming the player!!
And of course, I must mention something unique to this game; the Phantasm stage! PCB is the only game that has this. It's basically just a 'hard mode' version of the Extra stage, but, the patterns are both exciting to face and gorgeous to look at, the boss herself is genuinely Iconic, and her theme may be even more so.
PCB is pretty much the full package, and is also my recommendation to new players starting out, 100%.
[TOUHOU 8: IMPERISHABLE NIGHT]
This is the last of Touhou's "holy trio", so to speak, alongside EoSD and PCB. There's not much I can point to that's "wrong" with it, or "worse" than the other two, but idk, I don't feel as positively towards IN. I do still really enjoy it though!
There's a lot of great things about IN; the introduction of Spell Practice, there's two different final stages/bosses, the really cool concept for the playable characters/shot-types (character fight in teams, and once you beat both Finals with all teams you can play as each character individually, for a total of 12(!!!) shot-types), the Stage 4 gimmick is a callback to LLS (you fight Reimu or Marisa depending on your character!!), and of course there's some great bullet patterns in there (Keine and Marisa are standouts to me).
There's a LOT of content, more than most Touhou games, which is great!! But there's definitely some aspects that don't feel well polished, which brings it down a bit. The 'special feature' of this game, the Youkai gauge, is not only insanely confusing and complicated, and it's also not fun OR worthwhile to engage with,,, Maybe if I was a hardcore scorer I'd find some value in it, but…… eh. At least it's not obtrusive or anything. Then there's the solo shot-types….. while it's cool they're there, I don't know if ZUN playtested the solo Humans ;; They are very clearly not designed with solo play in mind and if you like to clear ALL shot-types like I do, this can make it an arduous experience to get through all 12
I think it's mostly these things, plus me feeling kind of neutral on the soundtrack and cast, that make IN not stand out, despite all the content. Still a great game, I play it a lot, just not as often as some other entries.
[TOUHOU 9: PHANTASMAGORIA OF FLOWER VIEW]
The 2nd VS shooter in the series!
Mostly the same exciting, chaotic gameplay as the first one PoDD, though with a few key difference. You can now use Focus, which also ties into a new mechanic, the 'scope', which allows you to freeze falling spirits (helps with setting up combos and crowd control) when they touch it. And, using your spell/special attack gauge causes a 'wave' to ripple out and clear bullets around you. I think overall these are excellent addition and that add fun strategy to gameplay.
However, I'm not great at keeping track of combos or purposefully placing spirits during the constant barrage of bullets,,, And some of the character's scopes are……. not fun to utilize. There's also the same problem I had with PoDD, how rapidly pressing the shoot button hurts my hand over time, and while PoFV actually has an alternate control scheme, that alternative FORCES you into focus mode as you shoot. I want to be able to not think super hard about when and where I shoot, so I can focus on dodging, but this just makes the problem Worse because it hampers my movement ;;
I do like the bullet clearing wave though! Plus, this game introduced one of my favorite characters, Aya, AND brought back Yuuka from the PC-98 era!! It's not a bad game and I've had fun with it. I'm just not crazy about the Touhou VS shooters overall. If I wanna play a VS shooter I'd rather pick something like Twinkle Star Sprites.
[TOUHOU 9.5: SHOOT THE BULLET]
This is the first of the 'photo' games, and I have a soft spot for this one. It can be extremely rewarding to clear a difficult scene, and the whole photography thing is a SUPER interesting take on bullet hell. The one thing that sucks is that there's little incentive to go back to scenes once you've managed to clear them. But I guess that's not the point, it's to slowly conquer the challenges each level throws at you and clear as many as you can.
Very solid game, something you can chip away at over time, if you like bullet hell and like interesting challenges give it a try!!
[TOUHOU 10: MOUTAIN OF FAITH]
MoF is the start of a new era. It's pretty stripped back in terms of gameplay because ZUN wanted to focus on making a basic, polished shmup, and he certainly achieved that. The new engine feel smooth as butter, the graphics and sound are crisp, and the bullet patterns and stages are solid. Some of the core gameplay mechanics have been changed though, and it's a little mixed.
For instance, the bombs have been changed in 2 key ways; there are no longer unique bombs for each shot-type, and using a bomb costs you some of your Power instead of an item. Not having unique bombs takes away an element in picking your shot-type, but I don't mind the bomb itself since it's both effective and powerful. Losing Power can be frustrating, and you can end up in a horrible loop if you lose too much at once, but, MOST of the time I find MoF is very generous with Power, and that combined with not being restricted to bomb items can actually be a really sweet deal.
Most of the other changes are similarly mixed, but ultimately I think they work well together! There's only 1 thing I have major critism of, and that's the removal of practice and accessibility features. There's no more extra starting lives from here on out, which I understand, but it does make me sad, as extra lives allows new players to see more of the game (and allows old players to relax on just-for-fun runs). He also removed Spell Practice, which sucks :( But, by far the most egregious change, is that using a continue starts you over from the beginning of a stage….. and just seeing a stage is NOT enough to unlock it in Practice Mode. This is a HUGE hit to the game's accessibility for new or unskilled players, not even allowing them to practice the stage they're stuck on, or prepare for anything beyond it. If you die on a stage so much you have to continue, what the hell made ZUN think starting the whole stage over with almost no lives would help??
Thankfully, I don't need that accessibility much anymore, and there IS a fanmade practice patch out there. MoF is definitely among my top favorite games of the series, it's just a great basic shmup and great start to the new era. Also shoutout to my favorite final boss theme, Venerable Ancient Battlefield ~ Suwa Foughten Field. Loved it so much as a kid that I would mod it into other games LMAO
[TOUHOU 11: SUBTERRANEAN ANIMISM]
SA is considered the 2nd hardest game in the series, and there is good reason for that. Beyond the patterns and stages just generally being pretty difficult, the lives, bombs, and continues system are very punishing in this entry.
The continue system is exactly the same as MoF, which is to say, brutal and unforgiving. Bombs are also tied to power like in MoF, but unlike MoF, Power only goes up to 4.00 instead of 5.00 (with MarisaA as an exception) meaning less bombs overall and leading to the same issues there were in MoF. And, you don't earn full lives, you need 5 life pieces to gain a full extra life, and the one and ONLY way to earn life pieces? Is through clearing boss attacks without bombing or getting hit. There is not even a SINGLE free live in the entire game, you must earn every single one with flawless performance.
This leads to a scenrio where, high skilled players are rewarded with lives they don't need, and less experienced players are basically walled from even practicing. All this, combined with two other factors (some of the weirdest/most difficult to utilize shot-types in the series, and the fact that the actual bombs either suck ass or are also difficult to utilize well), makes SA one of the most "unfriendly" games in all of Touhou project. If not THE most unfriendly.
I have a lot of criticisms of this, and even now I can't say I feel "comfortable" playing through SA. But, (most of) the unique shot-types CAN be rewarding, once you learn how to wield them, and this game has some of the most exciting and challenging bosses. So many fun spellcards……… Satori and Okuu are standouts. Satori's gimmick is also really cool, where her spellcards change based off your shot-type, nearly all of them being alternate version of past spellcards in the series. And of course, this game's cast is absolutely iconic, pairing well with one of the best overall soundtracks in the entire series.
SA is one of those games where I have a lot of fun with it and think it's stellar in terms of music, cast, and bullet patterns, but certain systems and mechanics prevent me from recommending it whole-heartedly to others. There's just a lot of frustrations with it. But it's still fairly high up in my rankings, and there's some value to having a game focused on Skill and skill alone, rather than other gimmicks or resources management or whatnot.
[TOUHOU 12: UNDEFINED FANTASTIC OBJECT]
UFO was the first Touhou game I got to see the release for. It's one of my happiest memories, so my feelings towards UFO may be very biased. Just a warning lol
UFO's "gimmick", the UFOs, is how you engage with basically any other system in the game; you MUST engage with the UFOs if you're going for anything other than a NMNB clear. And ho boy is the UFO system contentious. Not without reason, either. Mid-Bosses and Bosses destroy summoned UFOs which is frustrating, it's super easy to make a mistake with gathering the small UFOs and ruin your combo, if there's small UFOs you don't want on screen they basically act as bouncing projectiles you need to dodge ON TOP of the actual bullets……. etc.
However, while I share a few of those frustrations (damn UFO destroying bosses…..), I find the UFO system to lead to a good combination of routing and room for improvisation. You can memorize when and where certain colored UFOs will drop and plan ahead for them, and if you miss what you need or make a mistake you can still think on the fly and re-route mid playthrough. It's also fun that you can specialize your routing and gameplay towards a specific goal, like stocking tons of bombs to skip difficult stage sections/spellcards, or optimzing for score, or stockpiling lives.
The overall difficulty of the stages and patterns is decently high in UFO (this game is often ranked 3rd hardest in the series), but it can be somewhat mitigated with good planning and resource management. And I personally find a lot of these stages and bosses a Blast to play! Helped again by, of course, having one of the best overall sountracks in the series…. imo at least. The UFO cast is also my personal favorite, AND they get some of ZUN's cutest sprites/artwork :)
The only other real criticism I have is that it shares it's Continue system with MoF and SA. Thank god this is the last game that forces you backwards for continuing ;;;;
While the UFO system has it's downsides, UFO is just a really fantastic entry into the series and a personal favorite of mine. We'll see how I feel once I start tackling the higher difficulties seriously though…… lol.
[TOUHOU 12.5: DOUBLE SPOILER]
Basically the sequel to Shoot the Bullet. There is very little difference, just a new set of characters and cards to face. I personally find this one a LOT harder than StB, and I don't enjoy it quite as much, but it's still a solid game I recommend it to anyone who enjoyed StB.
(EDIT TO ADD: Sometime after I wrote this part, I found an old blog entry from when I was 13, and apparently ZUN explicitly stated DS was meant to be much harder than StB. So, there ya go?)
[TOUHOU 13: TEN DESIRES]
The key phrase for this game overall, imo, is RESOURCE STRANGLEHOLD.
TD is far and beyond the most punishing game in the series, both in terms of resources and the Spirit Gauge/Trance mechanic. The requirement for the amount of pink spirits you need in order to earn an extra Life is brutal right from the start, at 8, and every time you earn a new life this requirement goes up. This doesn't reset when you die, or even when you CONTINUE. That would be brutal enough, but even with OPTIMAL PERFORMANCE, literally no mistakes and perfect utilization of Trance, you earn less lives in this game than in any other. Speaking of pulling of a perfect performance, good fucking luck, because the spirits you need to gather stay right where you killed the enemy, disappearing Quickly, so you have to either have your Trance meter full and ready, or you need to risk your precious few lives to dash up to the top of the screen, in the middle of an absolute clusterfuck of bullets, just for a FRACTION of an extra life.
And of course, there's the real kicker; getting hit causes your entire Trance meter to be used up, and it takes a quite a bit to refill it, especially because again, spirits Do Not Fall the way items do, you have to seriously risk your life for them.
Basically, TD is a very, VERY routing-heavy game, and if you make even ONE mistake it can cause your entire playthrough to unravel. It's super frustrating. There are only 2 saving graces here….. 1) you at least get to keep any extra bombs you had in stock after you die, and 2) TD has some of the easiest boss fights in Touhou. I actually find the spellcards super fun, so by sort of-kind of routing the stages and doing well against the bosses, I was able to find some joy in TD. But that is obviously in spite of the mechanics, not because of them ;;
I will say, though, that it's interesting to have a game designed to make you "boss graze", ie stay dangerously close to the boss and move around them to catch spirits. Interesting concept and it helps train you on a high-level skill.
TD was my least favorite Touhou game for a long, long time. I've softened on it a bit, fun bullet patterns are fun no matter what, but goddamn. This one's ROUGH. And sadly, the OST is pretty middling for me, though it DOES have a few standouts (Desire Drive, Youkai Shrine Back Road, Small Desire's Starry Night Sky)!!
[TOUHOU 14: DOUBLE DEALING CHARACTER]
Ah. DDC. My nemesis.
I actually don't mind this game's special mechanic; using the point of collection line to earn life and bomb pieces. I actually think it's fun and rewarding, though that could just be because I already go to the PoC line as much as possible anyways lol. No, my problem is not with the mechanic, or the life and bomb pieces. This game commits the most fatal of all sins in bullet hell; the bullet patterns are Not Fun.
So many of the patterns in the this game have 'gimmicky' movements, sometimes bordering on Random, and this is often used in combination with one of my greatest weaknesses, bullets coming at you from both above and below, at the same time. This makes them an absolute nightmare to read. There's also a ton of a bullets that are either oddly shaped with confusing hitboxes, or made huge which also makes their hitboxes confusing. And unfortunately, the stages and bosses that don't suffer from this generally have pretty bland forgettable patterns. I can't think of a single attack in DDC I would describe as "fun", and that's unheard of in the rest of the series.
Worse yet, the shot-types themselves……. half of them are 'gimmicky', kind of like SA shot-types were, but the SA shot-types had special extra mechanics that could be mastered and were rewarding to utilize, if uncomfortable to get used to. These shot-types are just plain Uncomfortable, or are underwhleming ;; MarisaB has a bomb that makes it possible to milk life and bomb pieces like crazy and basically cheese the whole game, but that's not fun either :( I wanna be able to PLAY the game and enjoy it…… but I can't.
And the final nail in the coffin…… DDC also happens to have my least favorite soundtrack and, imo, a very bland and unmemorable cast. I feel so sad saying that because I think there's some unique youkai here, but MOST OF their designs don't stick out/are pretty plain, and they feel very disconnected from Gensokyo at large. Maybe if I saw them in print materials I'd feel different, but as it stands…… :/
I want to say some nice things though, so here's what I've got. Wakasagihime has a great design (it's just…. y'know, she's a Stage 1 boss, so there's not much of her. Super sad considering I desperately wanted a mermaid Youkai). Raiko also has a cool design, AND she has the best theme in the game. Uhh…… the PoC line mechanic giving you an extra life piece instead of a bomb if you collect enough point items is a good feature that rewards smart planning and risk management. The Stage 2 boss has lasers you can avoid by staying completely still which is hilarious.
I…. think that's it. Let me say for the record, I'm open to changing my mind!! I softened on TD as I got better, found things I could enjoy in it despite my issues, so that could happen someday with DDC. It's just right now, nearly everything about DDC bounces me right off it, so it's the only Touhou I genuinely don't enjoy playing,, Hopefully someday that will change……
[TOUHOU 15: LEGACY OF LUNATIC KINGDOM]
LoLK is a bit of an odd ball, for sure. While you can play it like a regular Touhou game (using "Legacy" mode), the main mode of LoLK is "PointDevice", which plays very differently. It's focused on "perfection", and very precise movement and dodging, making you retry to same sections and attacks over and over again til you do them right.
You also earn Life pieces (Legacy) and Bomb pieces (PointDevice) via grazing, which requires you to risk your life getting super close to the bullets. All that, in combination with very dense and overwhleming bullet patterns, makes LoLK the hardest Touhou game by a long shot. Especially in Legacy mode, where you can't just retry over and over.
I honestly don't care for PointDevice much, especially because if there's a section/attack you CANNOT pass no matter how hard you try, and you've already used all your bombs, you're kind of fucked and Have to restart the entire thing ;; But, I still find Legacy mode fun, and as someone who loves to graze when I can, being rewarded for it feels good, AND allows for some really creative and interesting patterns/routing. On the higher difficulties, there's way more bullets to milk for graze, too. On one hand it's a little frustrating that it's HARDER to earn resources on Easy and Normal, but on the other hand you can argue that the extra resources help balance the insane pattern difficulty of Hard and Lunatic.
I'm not good enough to beat LoLK on Normal yet (it's the last one left for me), but I still think it's a pretty solid game overall, and I like to replay certain stages (2, 3, 5, and 6) on Easy just for fun.
[TOUHOU 16: HIDDEN STAR IN FOUR SEASONS]
Wasn't a huge fan of this one at first, but I've warmed up to it! Mostly
While this is not the first game with bullet erasers, it is the first to feature them so prominently, aside from maybe PoFV. It comes in the form of the Release system, which basically allows you to massively power down your shot type in exchange for clearing bullets (how much you power down and how many bullets are erased/for how long depends on your sub weapon choice). I think the way it can be utilized both for survival and for scoring is pretty cool. It can also be really broken if you know exactly where to use them, adding another element to routing and memorization. But it can also be handy during my casual play…… if you remember it exists. lol. I admit that I struggle to use any C key function properly ;; But that's a personal issue
The shot types are definitely interesting in this game. Instead of the standard fare, you pick a character (who always has the same shot) and then pick a "sub weapon" based on one of the other character's shots (or you can pick your own to make it stronger). This results in there being a whopping SIXTEEN COMBINATIONS, each with slightly varying properties. Lord. While I think I prefer having a smaller pool of unique and optimized shot types, this is a neat concept, if a bit overwhelming if you're like me and want to clear EVERY combination ;; But still, it allows you to sort of customize to what you're most comfortable with, or what will help you the most (for example, the Cirno/Summer sub weapon gives you short releases you can use repeatedly, but the weapon itself sucks ass as a tradeoff. So pairing it with a faster/more powerful character balances things a bit!), which is pretty cool.
My major complaints about this game are the 2 difficulty spikes; the Stage 5 bosses, and Okina's final spellcard(s). The Stage 5 bosses use the dreaded "random and erratic" bullet behaviour I hated so much in DDC, though thankfully only for SOME attacks. They're still a big spike compared to the rest of the game, even compared to Okina's fight……. until the end. Okina's final cards are super cool in concept, stripping you of your sub weapon and forcing you to just Dodge Or Die…….. but in practice it is PAINFUL, especially since it's the last obstacle before victory. She even has a bomb shield………. wtf. Brutal. All 4 variants are bad, but the Summer version is by far the worst, in my opinion one of the hardest final spellcards in the entire series.
There's also the extra stage, which is mostly spent dodging stuff coming from behind you (my nightmare), but that's more of a skill issue on my part ;; Overall, while the cast is very disconnected and don't leave a strong impression, the music is pretty damn good, the stages are fun, and the mechanics are interesting, even if they're a bit shakey and abusable. Not a top favorite but I like HSiFS :)
[TOUHOU 17: WILY BEAST AND WEAKEST CREATURE]
This game has a similar special mechanic to UFO, but I think it's a little better implemented here.
There are no "shot types" as it were; your choices are whether to power up your unfocused attacks, your focused attacks, or your bombs. This kinda makes it hard to have a preference, as each attack is better at different points in the game, so it's really up to you what's more important. I kind of like this, even though I still prefer variety, it means I can use other characters more freely.
I also like this version of the 'collect stuff on screen' mechanic, there's more leeway for mistakes (you can still activate "Roaring/Hyper" mode without having a perfect collection of matching spirits) AND the benefits are better (it protects you from hits while active, just like the cherry borders in PCB!! and you get either a massive boost to damage or a bullet eraser)! Like with UFO though, there is risk with chasing the Spirits all over the field, and it can lead to some frustrating deaths and distractions. But that's just part of what you have to manage, I think it's a fun system overall :)
What is Not Fun is an issue that actually started back in TD, but I haven't mentioned it yet, because WBaWC has it the Absolute Worst; VISIBILITY ISSUES. Your own shot, ESPECIALLY in Roaring/Hyper mode, can become so dense and flashy that it is near impossible to read the bullet patterns. Or see the bullets At All. Which is, yknow, a problem in a bullet hell game. On top of that, the whole game is tinted red, and full of red bullets, which is sick as hell on paper, but in practice makes a huge portion of the game become slurry to the eyes. And the Enemy tracker, which had its text removed back in TD, is more a problem in this game than in any other because the color of the tracker matches the color of the window border, so you may as well not even have it.
There's also a major problem in the Stage 5 boss (and in one final boss spellcard), with the stupid statues that are summoned……. I already don't like these kinds of "familiars", they''re always a pain no matter what, but WBaWC takes it to another level, as they soak up so much damage that very few of the shot types can kill them before you get body slammed or completely overwhelmed.
WBaWC is really fun and cool and has some great music and designs, but it feels…… almost like ZUN didn't fully playtest it before release. An issue that is going to persist into the final entries………. but it's still enjoyable overall, at least.
[TOUHOU 18: UNCONNECTED MARKETEERS]
I have a lot of fondness for it, but MAN is this game unbalanced lol
There's the obvious, which is the card system. I think the card system is a cool idea and can be fun to play around with, it's exciting when you get exactly the card you wanted, but there are certain cards/combinations that can kind of break the game, and it can be BRUTAL if you get nothing but trash cards on your run, and there are a Lot of 'trash cards'. And once you figure out your favorite card combo it's likely you'll never mess with anything else. Not strictly a bad thing, just a thing.
But then there's the real kicker…… Marisa. People are 100% right when they say this game is "anti-Marisa". I've tried not to mention the shot types I dislike (like most Youmu and Sakuyas), because that's a very personal/skill based issue, but here, the way this game is designed feels actively Hostile towards Marisa. It's hard to describe, but both bosses and stages are set up to have you fly all over the screen, or move off the sides a lot, and her range is EXTREMELY narrow………. AND both the shots and her bombs have been massively nerfed??? She's no longer the most powerful character, so there isn't even a trade off for picking the harder option. Seriously why the hell did ZUN nerf her AND make almost the entire game hostile to straight-forward shots?????
Well, whatever the reason, it makes her PAINFUL to play as. But, if you play as one of the fun shot types……. this game is pretty fun!! The first half a Little plain with it's boss patterns but the second half is a blast!!! If MAYBE a bit unfair (Megumu…….) ;; And the OST is fantastic all the way through. Plus, I just love the characters that were introduced, especially the 'masterminds', Megumu, Tsukasa, and Chimata. Very fun additions to the world of Gensokyo, I really hope we get to learn more about Megumu as the Crow Tengu chief.
If you're looking consistent play, look elsewhere, but for a fun time with light luck based elements this is a great game (if you don't play Marisa. Or Sakuya. lol)
[TOUHOU 18.5: 100TH BLACK MARKET]
Now this is an unique one! You go through stages that are split into semi-randomized sections, and along the way you gather money to buy cards. Bullet money buys cards during a run, and regular money lets you buy cards out of a shop so you can equip them from the start. So it's like….. a rouge-like shooter? Kinda?
I personally had fun with this. It's a little simple, and it can get repetitive, but it was nice because if I didn't have much time but wanted to mess around with bullet hell, I could boot this up and play a couple rounds to gather money for cards!!
Once you buy all the cards and earn all the achievements there's no reason to ever come back, which is sad, but idk, I had a good time milking bullets for money and slowly filling my collections. It shares some of the randomness issues with UM and is a little half-baked but I would still recommend giving it a shot, especially because it gives Marisa her time to shine after getting shafted in UM!
[TOUHOU 19: UNFINISHED DREAM OF ALL LIVING GHOSTS]
The final one so far!! I'll be honest, I've beaten it 21 times now I STILL don't understand how most of the mechanics work. Things just Happen and I either dodge or die. But what I can speak on is the downright bizarre balancing issues and the plethora of missing features.
The difficulty and balancing is wack. The vast majority of the characters feel underpowered already, and to top that off, only a small number of characters have bullet-clearing abilities, which is an absolutely MASSIVE advantage in this game, meaning that some characters are just objectively better than others. The story routes each character takes can also vary wildly in difficulty, making some paths a breeze and others nearly impossible even for the best players in the world.
But the most concerning thing for me is the missing features. No score? No "clear" achievement or signifier for different difficulty levels?? NO REPLAYS????? I can deal with the lack of score since I'm not a score player (yet), but having no indication or reward for 1ccing, and having no way to save or share your run without recording every single play session………. god. Idk, maybe it's silly, but that stuff is VERY important to me :( I'm still so sad about it, and it makes anything you achieve in the game feel….. hallow.
That being said, it's not all bad!! I love the new characters and their designs, there's some really interesting experimentation going on in the OST, I think the 'shield' mechanic adds a fun layer to gameplay (trying to make sure you're ready to restore the shield if it breaks while also trying to send over attacks and dodge)…… and I mean, dodging bullets is dodging bullets, so it's gonna be fun at least some of the time!!
Honestly, I just wish ZUN has balanced it more carefully, gave other characters more power or bullet-erasers, had more people play test it………. and of course, I wish it had replays and a way to track 1cc's :(((
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And that's it! If you read any of that, thank you, I know it was long ;;;;; But I had fun, I'm glad I got to talk a lot about my favorite game series :^)
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orinthered · 3 days
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Dragon's Dogma having only one save file may be a design choice (I know of at least one major thing you're referring to), but in actual practice, it just means that some people are objectively going to lose progress or have very negative experiences with the game
To that point, I started a new DD1 file before DD2's release and I ran into an issue where I just kept freezing on random load screen, right as it was autosaving, so my save file kept getting corrupted. Lost like 5 hours of progress from the start of the game, had to do it all over again, then it happened again in a different spot. The only reason I was able to make any meaningful progress until I figured out the issue was by making manual backups
I'm honestly terrified of the same thing happening with Dragon's Dogma 2 and have actually been stopping my play sessions periodically just to make a manual backup, then loading back in. Not even including the in-game event(s) that can royally screw your playthrough, that is a completely unnecessary fear that the devs have chosen to create, which is particularly egregious considering the mountain of performance and crashing issues people have been experiencing due to poor optimization
People who want to save scum or simply want the security of backups are always going to find the means to do so regardless of what the devs intend. I mean, DD1 had a mod that automatically backed up your save file and it was already retooled for DD2 literally on release day. To inconvenience all players purely for the sake of encouraging a specific play style is, quite frankly, insulting to peoples' time. Plenty of games manage to create compelling exploration experiences and interesting points of consequence and tension without tying any of it to some random, severely limiting mechanic or design choice
I say all of this as someone who's currently 40 hours in and is loving the exploration (which evokes that first time experience of playing Breath of the Wild), but who absolutely abhors the notion of having to repeat a 20+ minute long trek because I got to a quest area to save an NPC from some monster and the NPC ends up falling in the water literally as soon as I arrive, causing the game to auto-save because the quest is now "complete" (failed). Or, suddenly all of my pawns have swan dived into a river due to pathfinding issues or climbing movement quirks, causing me to waste time, rift crystals, or ferrystones to recuperate. Or, being forced to automatically talk to a passing NPC/pawn during a fight, causing my escort NPC to draw aggro and die while I'm trying to mash out of the dialogue menu
Defend the vision of players needing to pay attention and sit with their consequences all you'd like, but small, dumb shit like that is honestly infuriating and it happens way more often than it should
i get that this is annoying but i also think that if the ability to savescum existed in the game, everyone would do it. would i necessarily complain about multiple saves in a game like dragon's dogma? probably *not*, but i would miss the experience of being forced to engage with the game in a way i would not if i had access to multiple saves. i found myself missing this in baldur's gate 3 — because i had the ability to savescum things like rolls, i never played with the consequences of failing rolls.
is that a failure of those game systems? yeah. larian wants you to engage with failed rolls, but how many players do you know actually do that? who don't just press f9 when they get a shit roll?
you can dislike these systems, that's fair. but dragon's dogma fills a lot of niches that other games do not. one of these niches is a one-save system that forces you to engage with the game by making you play the game with your consequences, or suffer some really annoying backtracking with the inn save system. i do not think that every game has to appeal completely to every person. if you think dragon's dogma is insulting to your time, that's fine. if you think the execution is bad (which i could argue for, even though i really like what dd2 does) that is also fine. not every aspect of the game is gonna be a hit, god knows there's a particular section of dd2 that i think was a real miss (those who've beaten the game know exactly what i'm talking about) but i mean... there are reasons for it, infuriating or not. that is also part of the experience.
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