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#So while he’s he is technically 3rd in command probably maybe he’s also just “oh Jean’s going out of town
daeva-agas · 1 year
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I am playing Sakuya route in SLBP (mostly for the reward) and I wonder, where Nobunaga hatred toward ninjas comes from? This is like the 3rd game where he shows his disdain towards them. Can you explain why? Because I'm curious.
Oh no, it's that thing again.
Remind me what are the other ones. Is it Ninja Love? Nightshade? Non-otome games?
Anyway, this is a huge rant and IDK, could clog up people's dash so I will put it behind a cut.
I probably shouldn't say these about Japanese people writing about their own history and legends, but I hate this stupid "Nobunaga hates ninjas" trope, so my very grumpy answer is:
BECAUSE STUFFY CORPORATE SUITS ARE SO TERRIFIED OF CHANGE AND CAN'T BE ASSED TO TRY NEW THINGS. IF BULLSHIT TROPES STILL MAKE MONEY, THEN BY GOD THEY WILL KEEP MAKING IT UNTIL JESUS RETURNS.
And I'm giving the benefit of the doubt that they're doing this because "it's a trope that people seems to like", and not because they're just running off "I saw it in an anime/manga/novel/movie once" and never bother to Yahoo search it or open a book about it.
(I'm not all that mad anymore, but like, I will still go AAAAAAAAAAA every time it comes up)
"Nobunaga hates ninja" is a long-standing trope that's been around for decades in Japan. The oldest one I was able to find is this movie series called "Shinobi no Mono". Maybe there's something older, I don't know.
It's a historical fact that the Oda did invade Iga. However, there is so many context for it. Among many other things... one record says it's actually the people of Iga who sicced Nobunaga ON THE PROVINCE THEMSELVES.
It ended up being transformed into a "Nobunaga hates ninja" plotline because the above historical fact is being combined with the long-standing legend that "Iga is a place where ninjas live".
Also, in the 60s and 70s there’s this like... movement where people are really disgruntled at the government, and so because they can’t flat out write works about how much they hate the Japanese government of the time, they just write stuff about peasant heroes or vigilantes fighting against evil samurai lords as a way to vent their frustrations. Nobunaga being one of the easiest character to caricaturise because it’s not like the “evil stuff” they make him do is entirely wrong. The facts are just taken out of context and twisted for the sake of fiction. Evil/demonic/horrible Nobunaga as a trope in general seems to be relatively new from this era too, since Edo and Meiji works seems to present Nobunaga is an admirable heroic figure.
(well, they wrote about him doing kinda mean things, but it’s presented in a way that makes it sound like the writers think it’s “something that just happens” and not a big deal/not an entirely negative thing)
In real life there is no such thing as "sekrit ninjer village uwu", so honestly, if the above account is true, then it's possible that there's in-fighting among the people of Iga. It's what happens with the Saika people. Suzuki (Saika) Magoichi surrendered to Nobunaga and then some time later makes a request for the Oda army to come in and destroy this one guy he really hates.
If the story about the Iga folks inviting Nobunaga in themselves is actually false, I’ve not seen any other explanation for it yet, but I still think Nobunaga invading Iga is just business as usual. At the time of the Iga invasion, the surrounding provinces are already conquered, leaving Iga as this one tiny hole in the middle of what is technically "Oda territory". Maybe Nobunaga thinks this hostile province could cause problems in the surrounding regions, so he wants them gone. It's no different than, say, Nobunaga fighting a war against the Takeda and conquering them.
It's not even Nobunaga in command of the army (as far as reliable records go), so any depiction of Nobunaga personally leading his army into Iga is garbage. He sent one of his sons and a few generals to go off and fight, while he himself only comes in for inspection after everything's cleaned up.
The standard reasoning in bullshit Sengoku trope/fiction is that Nobu just doesn't trust woo woo shit, and only wants to do things the "legit" way (with soldiers and stuff). Ninja is considered woo woo because of their “secret arts”, and because they’re usually depicted as having no lords/masters but themselves, I guess he is wary of them rebelling against him or something.
Funny thing is, even if you actually buy into the ninjas thing, supposedly even the “guidebook of ninjas”, the Bansenshukai, says that the Oda has ninjas, so “Nobunaga hates ninjas” is just silly all around. Bansenshukai is this book supposedly detailing ninja clans and secret techniques and whatever, written in the 1600s, by one of the Fujibayashi descendants (IDK Sakuya’s grandkids I guess) 
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depressedacadamia · 3 years
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5 times Leo hit on Calypso as her Barista and one time it worked
Word Count: 3.8K
Summary: Coffee Shop AU! Calypso is running late one day so she ends up going to a coffee shop- what she doesn’t expect is for her barista to be Bad boy supreme
Later on in this fic, they sing this song.
Warnings?: Not much, terrible pick up lines, mainly fluff, making out.
A/N:  This took me so long but alas, here it is! This is kinda my first official fluff and I tried okay. Anyway, enjoy, comment, share, like- you know the drill. <3 from moi!
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The 1st Thursday
Calypso was not happy with the line she was waiting in. She was running late and thus was at a coffee shop- somewhere she preferred not to go. The weather was terrible, grey skies as well as heavy rain that had Calypso drenched. The stupid forecast hadn’t predicted the rain and thus she had left her apartment without an umbrella nor raincoat. 
The coffee shop was small but cute, she had to admit. The staff seemed small but efficient and within a few minutes, Calypso found herself at the front of the line, face to face with a boy with rich dark tan skin and the most dazzling smile she had ever seen. He had long dimples and his dark curly hair would flop over his face in a cute manner.
“Hi, Welcome to Steamy Beans Coffee. I’m Super sized Mcshizzle and I will be taking your order today, do you have your order ready?” He looked up at the girl in front of him and immediately, his lips stretched into a lazy and goofy smile. She frowned at the nickname but internally she wanted to laugh, even his name badge read Super Sized Mcshizzle- Who called themselves that?
“Can I get a cappuccino with 2 espresso shots, please.” She reached into her bag to pull out her purse while the boy at the counter hummed and tapped at the machine in front of him.
“What kind of milk?” He looked up again, cheekily smiling as if he had something planned.
“Uh, almond is fine.”
“And your name?” He asked, pulling out a marker. Before she could answer, he cut in.
“Does your name start with a C-”
“-Actually it doe-” 
 “-Because I can C us together.” 
Calypso resisted the urge to smile and instead raised an eyebrow at the horribly cheesy pick up line. Despite this, she was a bit impressed- Her name did technically start with a C.
“Calypso. That’s my name,” She told him as she walked away from the counter and sat at one of the stalls, waiting for her name to be called out. 
The 2nd Thursday
Somehow, Calypso found herself queuing outside the same coffee shop the next Thursday. Whilst she told herself it was because the coffee was perfect, it was truly to see the brown haired grinning boy who had served her last week. Pick up lines weren’t really her poison, but he wasn’t creepy and even she had to admit it- He was cute. 
As the queue grew shorter, she grabbed her purse ready to pay. She had subconsciously chosen to wear better clothes and style her hair today. Was it a stupid decision to wear white when drinking coffee? Absolutely. But Calypso was 100% willing to take the risk. 
“Hi, welcome to Steamy Beans Coffee. I’m Bad Boy Supreme and I will be taking your order today, do you have an order ready?” The boy looked up, with his hair flopping about. He had rolled his sleeves up and Calypso, who wasn’t about to get caught, quickly averted her eyes elsewhere. She noticed that his name had changed- so had his badge. Did he have a collection of these names? She’d have to ask him next time.
Oh, so there will be a next time, huh? She asked herself. 
Shut up. 
“Oh. Calypso, right? Same as last time?” He asked as he hovered his finger over the machine.
“Oh, yeah. Cappuccino please.” 
As she waited for her name to be called out, she pulled out her sketchbook and started sketching the cute barista. From his elf like ears to his slanted chocolate eyes and the funny curl that went in the complete opposite direction of his hair earning him a messy hair look. It was only a basic sketch but it had outlined him. 
“Cappuccino for Calypso?” a familiar voice called out. She was slightly surprised to find her Barista also handing off her coffee but she also quite flattered. Or maybe she was just overthinking this. He could easily just have switched around for a friend- it can’t have been just for her.
“Thanks,” she murmured as she reached into her purse, trying to find the appropriate change in her purse. 
“You and I are like nachos with jalapeños. I'm super cheesy, you're super hot, and we belong together.” The pick up line rolled off his tongue as he leant over the counter separating them. He had a smirk that made Calypso immediately lose her strong front and spill her change all over the counter.
“What?!” she sputtered as her eyes darted to the change. She managed to scoop most of it into her arms without looking too much like a fool. She quickly grabbed her coffee and made her way out of the shop as fast as she possibly could, hoping she didn’t look as ridiculous as she thought she did. 
The 3rd Thursday
“You don’t understand, last time the pick up line was creepy. She probably thinks I’m a weirdo now!” Leo groaned as he slammed his head on the counter beside his friend Will who always worked the same shift as him. Unfortunately, Will did not get to witness what Leo kept on describing as ‘a catastrophe’. 
“She won’t come in today, I bet. Ugh, I really screwed up.” 
“It really can’t have been that bad!” Will argued, dragging Leo by the arm to the front counter. 
“I said You and I are like nachos with Jalapenos. I’m super cheesy, you’re super hot and we belong together.”
Will cringed. “Okay, that is bad.”
Calypso could not believe she was coming back to the coffee shop. The previous pick up line was terrible, in fact it was almost as bad as the ‘I’m here, what are your other two wishes’ pick up line that a creepy person had used on her earlier but in all honesty it wasn’t the barista that was the problem. It was the fact that she could not crush over someone with pickup lines as bad as those. This time, she had decided to use her card to pay so she wouldn’t have to deal with spilt change everywhere. 
“Hi, welcome to Steamy Beans Coffee. I’m Commander tool Belt- that’s because my major is engineering and I fixed the old coffee machine- how can I help you?” The curly haired boy in front of her said miserably while slumped behind the counter with his face practically leaning on the machine.  
“I was hoping for the usual?” Her meek voice came out questioning. Leo’s head shot off the counter, almost slamming into the machine. 
“Wow… uh cappuccino again?” 
“Yep…” she searched for something to say. “So engineering major huh?” 
“Mhmm. I like making things I guess. What about you?” 
“Natural sciences. I was going to do art but I guess plants and animals are more of my poison.” She shrugged. 
“You can draw?” he asked, his voice peaking interest and turning around slightly. 
“Yes, why do you sound so surprised at that?” 
He batted his hand. “Oh nothing, just something we have in common.” He then winked and Calypso had to do everything she could to not react. She stood in front of the counter, waiting for her coffee but saw that her barista was screwing his eyes up and writing something on a cup. She wanted to pull out her sketchbook and draw the cute face he was pulling, leaning back and holding the cup in front of him as if it were an invention he had never seen. 
“Cappuccino for Calypso!” A sing-song voice that could only be her barista called out. She had to admit, his voice was not bad. In fact, it was quite impressive and it had a nice harmonious tune to it. 
“Thank you…” she said in a suspicious tone, as she swiped her card over the contactless payment machine. Her barista was suspiciously silent and she had yet to hear a terrible pick up line. He had a mischievous smile as if he had set something on fire and not told anyone anything about it. As she picked up her coffee, she noticed a lot more black marker on the cup and held it away from her face to read it.
Are you made of Copper and tellurium? Because you are CuTe.
She wanted to face palm at such a classic science pun but she was also impressed that he knew elements of the periodic table so easily. She let out a small laugh to let him know that she had noticed the pick up line before she took a small sip and smiled. 
The 4th Thursday
“I’m telling you, she actually laughed at the line! That’s a good thing right?” Leo asked as he put on his apron. 
“And I’m telling you, if you want her to go out with you, hit her with a star wars pun,” Will ugred while tying his apron behind his back.
“You’re obsessed with star wars.”
“Hey, it worked for me and Nico!” Will pointed out as they made their way to the counter.
“Sun boy, we all know you and Mr Debbie Downer did not get together over Star Wars pick up lines,” Leo argued. 
Calypso was running late. She hated being late. It was like slowly ticking off the boxes for panic 101. She was wearing mismatched socks, had the wrong books for class and the laces of her shoes were untied. At least the line was significantly shorter than usual and while normally that would have made Calypso question the occasion, she was too much in a rush to truly care.
As she ran in, she tripped over her laces and almost fell had it not been for the arms of the person in front of her. As she looked up to find her saviour, she found herself face to face with the curly brown haired boy who today wore the badge of ‘Admiral Leo’.  She thought Leo was a nice name and it suited him very well- much better than any other name would have.
“Hey, tie your shoes!” he scolded her and she was surprised by his concern over her safety. Alas, she had spoken too soon, 
“I don’t want you falling for anyone else.” he murmured, his lips right by her ear and his hot breath making goosebumps form all across her neck. He then reached down onto his knees, and did her laces. However, she noticed the manner he did them were different to how she would normally do them. 
“You know that’s how children do their laces, right?” Her hands rested on her hips as he gasped dramatically and held his hand over his heart. 
“Are you calling me a child?” 
Before she could say yes, he cut her off.
“The answer is I totally am a child because that means I can eat off the child menu,” He grinned foolishly. “Life hacks with Admiral Leo!” 
The 5th Thursday
“I’m telling you Leo- Make the Star Wars pun. Please! For me, do it for me!” Will begged as he tied Leo’s apron for him. Leo was reluctant to go with a Star Wars pun. He didn’t know if Calypso would get it or if she was into nerdy stuff like that but he was running out of ideas. He hadn’t gotten any terrible sparks of inspiration and the Star Wars inspired pun that Will had told him couldt go too badly?
Nervously, Leo waited behind the counter, his hands tapping as if he had just slapped on a nicotine patch and then glugged 6 espresso’s. In other words, Leo was anxious. If he just made the drinks without thinking about it, he could get his mind off it but when he started remembering that she may walk in at any moment, he could feel his hands shake and his stomach begin to churn. 
Calypso was very happy. She had no classes today, no research studies to deal with and she had even managed her time well enough to hang out with a friend before heading towards her newly found and now favourite coffee shop. She knew it was it because of a certain curly haired and cheekily grinning boy. 
“Hello, welcome to Steamy Beans Coffee, I’m Flaming Valdez- don’t ask please- how can I assist you today?” He once again looked up and when seeing Calypso, he recited her order before the words could come out of her mouth. 
“Cappuccino with 2 espresso shots and almond milk?” 
Calypso, a bit shocked, nodded. She could feel small butterflies forming in her stomach thinking about how Leo had memorised her order. 
Stop being silly. He probably memorises every regular’s order. 
 “Soo… Flaming Valdez… what’s the story behind that?” She asked, despite his warning. Leo tipped his head back and let out a throaty laugh that had Calypso tingling all over- How can a person have such a gorgeous laugh? How can someone look so good while laughing? 
“Oh, that’s a good story. Every year, we celebrate the owners birthday by having the shop to ourselves. No customers, just the staff chilling. Anyway, so it’s like 9pm and we’re all meant to be out because it was sunset an hour ago but instead we’re still in the shop. Everyone’s gathered right out there because your boy, Flaming Valdez, brought in Roman candles!” Leo pointed to the chairs and tables outside the shop.
“Roman candles?” Calypso asked, a tad confused. Her face scrunched up a bit and Leo almost died from how cute her face looked.
“They’re like fireworks. There’s a slight difference with how the shell explodes compared to fireworks and they are a much more traditional version of fireworks but…” He trailed off when he noticed Calypso’s confused face- he just managed to remember that she wasn’t a nerd like him and didn’t study fireworks in her freetime. 
“Anyway, Will has the red ones and I have the green ones and so we literally start shooting them at each other like we’re re-enacting Harry Potter or something!”
“What! Can’t someone get set on fire from that?”
“Well yeah actually, they can. Will shoots one at me, sparks at my hair and sets it on fire. I’m running around trying to stop my burning hair while everyone is laughing. The crowd started cheering ‘Flaming Valdez’ and since then, they’ve adopted me that name. I’ve tried to get them to change it but it seems to stick,” he laughed while making her coffee. 
“Yeah, I think I’ve seemed to notice. Super sized Mcshizzle, Bad boy supreme, Commander tool belt, Admiral Leo and today- Flaming Valdez.” She listed all the names he would wear on his badges off her fingers. However, that may have been a mistake because when she looked up, she saw Leo shooting her a sly grin that made the butterflies start going crazy in her stomach again.
“So you remember my names, huh?” 
“It’s the nice thing to do,” she defended, a blush rising on her cheeks as she reached for some napkins.
Leo took a deep breath- he couldn’t believe that he was going to use Will’s Star Wars pick up line. 
“Do you like Star Wars? Cause Yoda only one for me.” The words practically rolled off his tongue and Calypso froze before breaking in laughter. She couldn't hold it in anymore- this was by far the funniest of all the pick up lines he had used. She pulled out a pen and scribbled something down on her sketchpad before ripping it out.
Leo, distraught, watched as she laughed at the pick up line. He should have listened to his gut and never made the pick up line. Oh gosh, he looked like an absolute loser now. Who makes Star Wars puns other than nerds? He handed Calypso the coffee and watched as she quickly left.
 He noticed the sketch she had left behind, it looked oddly familiar. In fact, he could have sworn it looked just like him. She had been sketching him everytime she waited for her coffee. He traced finger gently over the outline of his face, smiling. She had drawn everything in such detail, he felt like he was looking in the mirror but at the same time he felt she had facetuned him and made him look.. Well, perfect. Did she think he needed all these faults fixed? Or was this just how she saw him? She somehow made every flaw seem gorgeous and beautiful and he didn’t know how to feel as he looked at the bottom of the sketch. 
His eyes widened as he read the note left at the bottom of the sketch. 
Hey Leonidas (your co-worker told me that). Here’s my number - 07669833256. 
P.S- Star Wars puns ALWAYS work.
Yours truly, Calypso
“Leo? Are you good?” Will stopped to ask him. 
“Star Wars puns always work- you were right,” he said starstruck. 
The Next Friday
“Mamacita, get off those tables, I need to clean them,” Leo huffed, holding a spray bottle threateningly and a cloth in his other hand. Calypso, giggling and giddy hopped off the table. She watched as Leo quickly sprayed it down before wiping it. 
“Are you checking me out?” Leo’s smug voice cut through Calypso’s thoughts, snapping her out of mind. Her initial reaction was to stutter and wildly deny it however today at 7pm, she felt more bold than usual and decided to tease him a bit.
“So what if I was?” 
Leo almost froze at the bold response, not expecting the reaction from her. They’d been officially going out for one week and so far, Calypso had been quite shy. A kiss on the cheek here and there, a bit of innocent flirting but no one had really openly confessed their feelings. It was obvious to everyone around them that they liked each other but they seemed determined to have the other say it first. 
“Well if you were… " He turned around to see her smirking with both hands on her hips. He was not losing to Calypso- he would make her confess her feelings first if it was the last thing he did. She sat herself on the counter behind her and beckoned Leo forward with her finger. He raised an eyebrow at the bold move but obliged. 
Leo stood between Calypso’s thighs, his hands slipping around her waist. Their faces were close enough that if Calypso and Leo both moved their head slightly forward, they’d be kissing. Funnily enough, they both had started eating mints and chewing gum whenever they’d be with each other as if they were planning the moment. 
“I still can’t believe those pick up lines worked,” Calypso sighed, her hands moving onto Leo’s shoulders, comfortably rubbing them back and forth. 
“Bad Boy supreme is very much offended by those comments.”
“Nu uh. Ever since that blond co-worker of yours told me that your full name is Leonidas...” She paused to unsuccessfully hold in a small laugh. “...That your name is Leonidas, it’s been Leonidas and it will always be Leonidas to me.”
“Not even Leo?” He asked, his eyes entering puppy eyes mode. Calypso remained unimpressed and shook her head. Their eyes locked and they could feel each other's thoughts. Just as their heads were leaning in,the radio behind the counter bugged out and static started blaring everywhere. Calypso wanted to curse god- of coure something just had  to ruin the moment. Immediately, the two students shoved their hands over their ears and Leo jumped over the counter to quickly fix the horrendous noise. A few minutes later, About Love  by Marina started softly playing through the cafe’s speakers. 
The moment seemed like it was manufactured for a movie. The beautiful sunset on the horizon, the romantic music and most of all, Leo’s playful smile as he held his hand out asking Calypso to dance. She, of course, accepted and the two twirled about in each other's arms. They weren’t very good and they kept on stepping on each other's toes but eventually they got into a position where Leo’s hands were wrapped around her waist and Calypso’s arms were thrown around Leo’s neck. 
Leo watched as Calypso closed eyes and softly sang the words to the song under her breath. 
“Started in the strangest way, didn’t see it coming.”
Leo started singing with her, “My head gets messy when I try to hide.”
“The things I love about you in my mind” Their voices were harmonious and in sync. 
“I don’t really know a lot about love, a lot about love, a lot about love but you’re in my head, you’re my blood and it feels so good, it hurts so much.” Calypso had her head leaning on Leo’’s chest and she could hear the steady thumping of his heart quicken.
“Shall I take this as your confession of love to me?” He murmured into her hair. Calypso shot her head up so fast that she almost butted Leo in the chin. 
“Hell no, Leonidas.” 
Yet, as she said those words, her face leaned upwards towards Leo with her intense gaze falling to his lips. They looked soft, supple even and she felt so tempted to reach out and brush them. In fact, she felt so tempted to touch them that she didn’t even notice her actual hand reaching out to brush against his bottom lip. 
Leo had to physically restrain himself from shivering when he felt Calypso’s finger brush over his bottom lip, dragging it back slightly before slowly setting her hand at the side of his face. Slowly, like they were two magnets slowly attracting each other, they leaned in. When they were practically breathing in each other's face, Leo decided to spring one more pick up line on Calypso. 
“Did you know that my lips are skittles?” Leo cut in quickly. Calypso quickly frowned, not catching on. Leo continued, “ And you’re about to taste the rainbow.”
Calypso groaned, throwing her head back while Leo giggled to himself. Sick of chasing each other, Calypso grabbed Leo’s face with both her hands and smashed her lips into his, abruptly shutting him up. To say Leo was surprised would be the understatement of the year. He was in a true state of panic, thinking what he should do with his hands, his lips, his entire being. Her lips moved against his, encouraging him. He wrapped his hands around her waist, both of them moving up her back, pulling her into the kiss. 
They pulled away for a brief second, looking each other in the eye before slamming their lips back together. Had anyone walked in on them, it would have only been appropriate to say that they were devouring each other- their lips pushed and their hands pulled. Their lips moved in sync and Calypso weaved her hands into Leo’s curls. It was demonically passionate as their tongues slipped across each other's lips. The heat of the kiss spread across Calypso’s face- the blush was so obvious, she felt like her lips were on fire. Nothing could have stopped them, not even if the entire world was on fire. 
As they pulled away, Calypso had one more trick up her sleeve. 
“As far I’m concerned, the rainbow tasted pretty damned good,” She remarked, referencing to Leo’s previous pick up line. 
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bearpillowmonster · 4 years
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FF7 Remake Review (Characters)
Next are characters, which I more or less already knew before this but have more context now: (only minor spoilers for this part)
Cloud-
He’s like Finn from Star Wars, Ex Shinra, Ex Stormtrooper, they know the ins and outs of the enemies. He really takes it serious about his money though, in a way I could see why with the slums and all as well as it being an excuse to hide his feelings but I just didn’t expect it. It sounds like one of his battle quotes is “It’s time” and I say out loud “Time to de-evilize!” He has a few similar to Sora too that I like. But I have a bit of a pet peeve...LET ME PLAY AS YOUNG CLOUD AND TIFA $%^*&#@!
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Villains-
Is Sephiroth a cross between Palpatine and Scar? “Let the hate consume you.” The other villains such as Heidigger (who is voiced by John DiMaggio of all people) are kind of annoying to be honest, I was bored every scene he was in, I like John DiMaggio, it made me think we were fighting Dr. Drakken, scar and all but I just don’t think we need to see him deploy the enemies every time, it just seems pointless. It’s not a hamper on the story or anything, I mean there are tons of villains in games that are just there and it’s fine all the same, plus we have better villains in the game so it evens out.
Barrett-
He’s cool and gosh dang Marlene is adorable. But Barrett plays pretty nicely, it’d be kind of cool if he was the exception to gameplay type and went full on 3rd person shooter and you could just aim all over the place but he’s still really fun to play.
Tifa-
is a sweetheart. When I first saw her character, it was in KH2 and she was tearing apart this room, punching walls, and kicking down doors to find Cloud. While she keeps the strength, maybe she acted like that in the original but not here. I hear that personalities between her and Aerith have changed over time? Like there are different versions and they act different since there’s FF7, Advent Children, Crisis Core and this remake, maybe it’s just the fan perception, I’m not sure. Oh and I played Tifa’s theme on the jukebox and she started bobbing her head, so they respond to the music you play.
I know doing some of the mundane sounding side quests with Tifa, made them a whole lot better, when I said it helps the world building, I wasn’t kidding, she made me feel motivated like “Yeah this is a life in the slums but she’s making the best of it and I’m comfortable.” I’d say her play style (in Smash terms) would be similar to Sonic, she’s fast (there’s even a speed upgrade you can get) but carries a punch if you have the right equipment.
Red XIII-
They call him a ‘lab rat dog’ but he’s a lion...right? He’s not in it a whole lot so I don’t have much to say about him other than him having a killer design and he and Barrett make the best joke of the game (the car one). You don’t play as him which I believe you could in the original, he still helps out with damage though which brings me to another topic, I know I finished gameplay but this would’ve been a great opportunity to use more reaction commands, you don’t really see them in much of any game any more, they’re like the Star Wars prequels, you don’t realize what you have until it’s gone, there are a good bit of moments like that.
Aerith-
Trust me, I loved climbing rooftops with her. One thing I see pointed out is that she’s a bit more sassy in this version, it’s kind of funny at times. Her dodge could use a little work though I could say that she’s not an experienced fighter like the others yet her magic came in clutch for me time and time again. Both her and Tifa are cool with kids but Aerith and that scene in Chapter 12 was the first part I got chills.
I didn’t do all of the Chapter 8 (Sector 5, where Aerith is) side quests because I did the first few and hated them, those hedgehog pies and smoggers are really annoying, I figured whoever I choose, I’ll make up for it later. Now I’m going to put this is in a context so people who played understand and those who haven’t won’t since I’m not technically into the story section. The whole secret with Aerith is just weird in my opinion, I mean it ties in with the story and is in the original but I had to look that up, I actually thought that that would’ve been one of the big changes they made but no.
What route did I take? I knew beforehand that I would have to kind of sway towards one character or another, whether that be Tifa or Aerith and so on but I never knew who I was going to pick pre-game. I kind of tried to stay mindful of what exactly I was choosing while at the same time just doing it “my way” and see what happens, who I’ll like better. What I hate is that you have to choose before you give both girls a fair shot and get proper introduction because you have to do all the quests in chapter 3 to get Tifa and skip it to get Aerith (you could probably still save it because of the date points but still). It said you have to pick someone regardless whether you do the quests or not so I thought maybe do all the quests in Ch.3 and 8 then go from there, it got to the point where I decided to pick Barrett just so I wouldn’t have to decide but at that point the “point” system was already too high for each of the girls, Barrett’s route was already disabled. The big decision between the two was the sewers which I kind of have to appreciate how that was done. I even made a comparison list because of how much I was thinking about it and whoever got more...you think I’m joking? 
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Yeah bad handwriting but I couldn’t come up with any bad things for Tifa other than her trying to be mature, only a few for Aerith as you can see however I actually ended up looking up something that put things in a certain perspective, Aerith saw Zack in Cloud when he was messed up, that might be why she likes him while Tifa likes the real him hence the scene afterwards in the original (plus I think I even heard her call him Zack during combat (unless I misheard, I can’t find any evidence online)). So that means I picked the dress for Tifa, Exotic. Also look at this and tell me that doesn’t fit Aerith.
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So those are my ships, I’ll update what happened with them in the story section.
The others in Avalanche, I’ll just lodge together. Wedge, I don’t see why they got Matt L Jones to play him but he also doesn’t do anything so whatever. Biggs is kind of cool I guess, just another hot shot. I’m surprised Jessie got the part she did after playing through the first section, I expected her to be forgotten about after that but no, apparently the remake gave them bigger roles, in the original they were very limited. But Jessie’s pretty cool, my favorite of the bunch and I helped her out when I could but I didn’t choose the “no promises” date option or anything (does that mean I led her on? Is that bad in a video game?) You don’t play as them though, I get that they tried to vary gameplay types with each person and these guys had very similar styles to others already (and you can’t just play as every character you see).
Quick graphics section, you already know they look good, I mean it’s even better than Advent Children (which I haven’t saw much of other than models and screenshots) and that was obviously prerendered CGI but I couldn’t imagine being a fan of the original and seeing these updated designs, not even of the characters but enemies. I was looking at why you can use cure on ghosts and it brought me to the original FF7 wiki and I saw what they used to look like (granted they look cool) but I just never expected such a upscale. It’s something fans can appreciate, and also goes the other way around, I could tell some scenes were from the original and were really improved on, it almost gave me a sense of nostalgia and I never even played the game, this was made with love.
(PART 1)
(PART 3)
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zenosanalytic · 6 years
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Doom-Broom Looms; Assumes Costumed Groom will Fume in Tomb-Gloom: The Tune-Presumed Consumes
Yes I did it; No I’m not sorry; Shutup it’s a Gr8 Headline; Mild Spoilers below cut:
So I really liked this one, I’d say it’s at least as good as the first Avengers and probably better, making it the best of the Avenger films so far. As per tradition, I will start with what I didn’t like first and, aside from the first two, they’re mostly Quibbles:
The Bads
So:
Labeling the cruelty of an abusive guardian -who murdered his child’s family, surgically altered and experimented on her without her consent, forced her to kill, forced her to fight and sometimes kill her siblings to protect her body and her life from that parent- as love is some Buuuullshit >:( I can easily accept that Thanos would think he loved her, abusers tell themselves all sort of garbage to justify what they do, but that some omnipotent universe-stone would judge that situation and those feelings sincere is, again, Buuuuuullsheeeeiiiit >:( >:( Attaching that execrable nonsense to the killing of Gamora makes it so much worse, and then connecting that to how Thanos “wins” through Quill’s anger, makes it even, even worse. 
Their choices on who to “kill” were fucked up and bad. Bucky dealing with a world without Steve is interesting. T’Challa traumatized by the loss of his closest friends and torn between healing/protecting his people and helping bring Thanos to justice and potentially undoing what he did is interesting(not to mention how loved the character is. Though I’m p sure we’ll see a BP Shuri as a result, which I’m very much looking forward to). Scarlet Witch given the chance to grow on her own, instead of being tethered to a guy, is Interesting. Groot dealing with the death of their “parent”/Confidant/translator is Interesting. Having Banner “die” so that only The Hulk is left would have been interesting. Going with what they did was stupid. Killing off Fury and Hill was Stupid. Wiping out, to a duo(!), the Guardians of the Galaxy was Stupid. Killing Drax and Mantis is some Galaxy-Brained Criminal Ignorance! Killing Heimdall I understand BUT(!!!), at the same time, Elba’s a great actor and Ragnarok’s the only film to make even decent use of him, so I’d have liked to see him live through this one and into the next one, at least, before he was killed. And, as others have said, the general race&gender balance of the killings was, charitably, Iffy.
These are some seriously flawed ethical/political choices they made for this film, and they didn’t have to make them. Totally could have handled all of this differently, and better, than they did. So on to the Quibbles!
Having Gamora and Peter’s relationship, which had, so well and realistically to two folks working through trauma and immaturity, been cooking low and slow over the two GoG movies, suddenly be physically and emotionally intimate and vulnerable, and having her saying things like “I love you more than anything” to him, when they live on a tiny ship with zero privacy with four(?) other people, and doing all of that purely for plot-convenience, was dumb and lazy and Lame. Character dev should serve the characters first and plot second; this complaint kinda dovetails with my issues with SW and Vision in the next para.  
There really should have been one more movie, and maybe two or three, before this one. The character writing was great and all, but Scarlet Witch and Vision just haven’t had the time to be developed enough as characters for their(rather central) place in the movie to be emotionally meaningful enough. A movie focusing on them, or maybe on Steve’s “unofficial” Avengers, would have really helped add some more depth and impact to Infinity War. The other movies I think would have helped are another Dr. Strange(I didn’t like the first one much at all and he didn’t really come off as all that capable to me in the first one and really seemed to just fall into the role of Sorcerer-Supreme by dint of being the last one standing), and Definitely another Black Panther. There are obvious scheduling reasons for not holding off for a second Black Panther(which are totally Marvisny’s fault, of course; for instance, if they’d just introduced the character earlier, so that CW would have been the 2nd BP movie and BP the 3rd), but Dr. Strange was 2016 and they could have totally gotten another one out, with some significant crew and writing changes, before this to flesh out, build up, and actually render interesting/likeable, the character. Though, I suppose maybe there were equally obvious financial reasons why not to roll the dice on that franchise again(though though, looking it up just now it topped Captain America: The First Avenger on box office, which is Insane).
Dispensing with Nova off-screen. I Mean: WTH. That should, at the least, have been an in-credit sequence(in GoG 2 or T:R). Something as simple as showing Thanos with the Power Gem, then panning out to show a devastated Nova Command or him taunting Nova Prime before killing her, would have been fine(though, the GoG movies gave me the impression the Nova Corps would have been a tough nut for Thanos to crack).
Probably my most niche opinion: they should have, FINALLY, done a movie crossover with the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. cast here, especially given the in-credit sequence. Marvel and Disney have been promising Chloe Bennet that AoS was going to be her vehicle into film work since the series started and this is, like, the third or fourth frigging times they’ve either reneged or passed on a chance to boost her up into the big leagues, and frankly it’s annoying. She’s a good actress, The Inhumans should have stayed a movie and been that vehicle(with the characters they made protags the villains S.H.I.E.L.D. was fighting), and, given the stakes and the nature of the conflict, it’d have been easy to ameliorate that mistake by bringing her, the rest of the AoS cast, and Fury in on this one as secondary characters. I mean, it’d have been better if they’d had two or three SHIELD movies spread out over the MCU by now, or always included them in the Avengers films to give also-rans like the show cast and Hawkeye places to shine, but barring that and given Disnal’s fuckup with Inhumans, they should have made a go of it here. Ming-Na Wen also deserves more time on the Big Screen and, while Johannson’s Fine in the films, Wen does her character-type Better u_u u_u u_u
Like I said, Quibbles, they don’t really detract from the movie. The main problems with Infinity War, to me, are it’s screwy plot-ethics.
The Goods
Not really much to say here other than “I liked it and had fun”. The character writing was good, the dialogue was funny, the fight choreography was, given the logistics of multicharacter combat, Fine, the fights were engaging, the camerawork was(mostly) clear, the costume design was great, the side characters(especially the Black Order) all got good beats of their own, the Heroes(except Black Panther and maybe SW, since she was restricted to just moving things and blasting things) all got opportunities to show off their abilities. IW really validated the “Comics=Wrestling” critical lens I was introduced to by @some-triangles, as it felt like a Wrestlemania or Battle Royale more than anything else to me. Related to that there were some really dumb moments, like when Scarlet Witch left the lab to enter the rin-, er, battlefield, but you basically knew that was going to happen the instant they told her to stay in the room because Tropes, and the Forms must be Honored u_u u_u The Russos are genuinely competent movie-makers, who seem to have that all-important skill of recruiting and keeping a talented crew around them, and they made a genuinely competent movie, despite the questionable plotting.
The Judgements
So that’s my opinion on the thing. Infinity War includes some highly fucked up ethical messages for the sake of plot convenience, and confirms the MCU’s refusal to make even basic use of some really top-notch acting talent, which just happens to be mostly non-white people, that they’re (presumably)paying fortunes to have access to; if you feel that sort of ish isn’t something you can sit-through or abide giving your money to, then don’t see the film. But it’s a technically competent film, 90% of the time the writing is wonderful, and overall it’s an engaging and entertaining film so, if you can tolerate that ish in some fashion, maybe you’ll enjoy it like I did.
Oh, and it’s really long(2h40m, and there were, like, 30mins of previews before it. Seriously >:| >:| >:| They played TWO[!!!!!!] flipping Jurassic World trailers, as if anyone wants to see that junk), so I’d rec you not get any drinks if you’re going to go see it(though it’s not a big deal as there are some nice-sized lulls, reasonably spaced, to take breaks in).
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hellonoblesky · 3 years
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Hello characters in the teapot?? What??? All the voicelines are so soft I’m gonna cry- :’)
#Turtledove yells into the abyss#genshin imapct#I already have Kaeya’s friendship maxed but my cool isles realm so far is very fitting for him so#also he’s such a comfort character for me he can always be there for emotional support#and his voicelines sir oh my god#“It’s like I belong” “who’dve thought?”#Sir your lore is showing!!#your lore!!!#ugdhvdhshdhd I love him#already speed built the Dawn orchard for angst reasons and was not disappointed#”I just remembered my days at the Winery”#Ugdhghsvs any mention of his backstory and I go feral#Please sir please you have so much knowledge tht I want#Also please go to therapy#but uhdshhsvsjsv ur lore sir ur lore#Also he’s in Jean’s office bc she’s away from Mondstadt with Klee and mmmdbsndhjs Kaeya & Jean crumbs#they r besties I stg#the best of besties#and I think Kaeya doesn’t want anyone close to him bc he doesn’t want to lose anyone else but also he doesn’t want to lose Jean#So while he’s he is technically 3rd in command probably maybe he’s also just “oh Jean’s going out of town? Everyone hand over your work#I’m gonna do it all so Jean has nothing to worry about k thanks”#idk I just love him#Kaeya rights all the rights#Also I have Barbra in my teapot as well and oh!! She is so sweet!!#The sweetest baby!!!#I will defend her with my entire life oh my goodness!!!#barbra baby I love you#she’s just so nice oh my gosh#I hope she can learn to care about herself a little more though :(#like barbra honey I get it you wanna help people but please please go to sleep or take a break or tell people to frick off
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