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michael-drummey · 4 years

Text

Achilles x Patroclus Explained: for anyone who needs it plainly mapped out for them one more time.

The Iliad:

-Most obviously there is a Special Relationship between Achilles x Patroclus

-Achilles and Patroclus share a Bed & Tent, Patroclus also does all the “domestic” work for the 2 of them on top of being a soldier

-”But he had Briseis who he was going to marry”, despite only bragged about her because she was a war prize taken by Agamemnon thus taking his honor, he was “locker room talking for the boys” when in reality he had no sexual contact/dimension/relationship with her yet. He also knew the prophecy he wasn’t coming back from Troy so this is one of two reasons we can say that they have no plans together, (see bullet point one for second reason) and then later he wishes Artemis had killed her way back when they were raiding cities. It is also inferable that Patroclus had planted this seed of thought in her mind to put her at ease with Achilles as well as protect his honor because Patroclus is always there for Achilles (Achilles does take Briseis into his bed in Book 24 but again totally as a spoil of war... she is a conquest not a lover)

-Greeks know Achilles will only listen to Patroclus, Especially Nestor who goes to Patroclus to persuade Achilles to re-enter the fight

-When Achilles receives Patroclus’s body his first thought is to end himself with a sword because he does not want to live in a world without Patroclus

-Achilles’s rage at the death of Patroclus and wishing he had let all the Greeks die and they conquered Troy together

-Refusal to eat & sleep while weeping for days on end in bed with Patroclus’s body

-Andromache’s speech about Hector, forsaking all her other loved ones for her husband, aka her one true love and then Achilles giving the almost exact same speech right after about Patroclus his “beloved”

-Achilles kills Hector (Gods even fear his rage and that such emotion could cause war to end before prophesied) aka Achilles could change fate because he so “grieved” for Patroclus - totally homies right?!

-Achilles drags Hectors body from his chariot damaging and defiling the corpse for days; Angering the gods, to which he doesn’t care

-Thetis then comes to Achilles, to which he wants none of her comfort, during their conversation she also has to suggest AND specify for him to now have sex with a woman and maybe find a wife before his life is over (why does she have to specify “woman” & who/what was keeping him from getting a wife)

-Achilles tosses and turns sleeplessly (body of Patroclus is still kept in his bed) and he longs for Patroclus’s “μένος” (menos) which in ancient greek translates to “Might - Manhood - Vigor - Semen” plainly speaking “Spunk” (both kinds!)

-Achilles reaches to embrace the ghost of Patroclus when he appears before him - desiring to physically touch

-Achilles plays the role of the woman and/or wife of the deceased when they burn Patroclus’s body on the funeral pyre and then collects the ashes himself and puts them in the golden urn. Achilles then charges the men to do the same to him when he dies putting his ashes in the same golden urn and burying them together so that they will physically be together for all eternity - which does happen

-LITERALLY ACHILLES x PATROCLUS

Most Ancient Greeks, Shakespeare, Artists & Intellectuals:

ACTUAL Greek Artwork from 500 BCE (currently resides on display in Germany)

-There is no reference to this moment in any record or story. In this depiction Achilles wraps Patroclus’s arm while he sits between his open legs, and Patroclus lets his dick hang out, while Achilles’s is visible as well, super intimate for “bros”

-Later greeks assumed or imagined their relationship as Pederastic (An older “erastes” lover & an “eromenos” younger beloved) because that was the norm of that period but no one could definitely decide who was the top and who was the bottom

**SIDE NOTE They do not have an age gap to support the Pederastic Theory AND after the pederastic relationship ended the men involved married women which we know neither Achilles nor Patroclus had nor plans to do

-Plato totally thought Achilles was a Bottom in his “Symposium”

-Aeschylus (the literal inventor of Greek Tragedy) portrayed Achilles & Patroclus as lovers in his lost play “The Myrmidons” which was based on The Iliad. Surviving lines from the play are of Achilles speaking of “Patroclus’s Reverent Company, his thighs, and being ungrateful for many kisses”

-345 BCE = Athenian politician, Aeschines states in a speech during his trial that Homer didn’t have to say what they were because 1. the Greeks were more sexually fluid then 2. there wasn’t a word for “Homosexual” 3. Homer was a storyteller and ANY educated man knew what they were, like its THAT obvious

-Alexander the Great and his lover Haphaestion (this is a whole other can of worms still being fought) liked to think of themselves, and referred to each other as “Achilles & Patroclus”

-Shakespeare features the two in his play “Troilus and Cressida” in which Patroclus is called “Achilles’s Brach” aka “Achilles’s Bitch”

-Renaissance Artists & those onward armed with their skill, knowledge, and obsession with all things ancient painted numerous depictions of the two, usually scenes of Achilles receiving Patroclus’s body, and for “buddies” they sure love painting them showing A LOT of skin

-By roughly the 1960′s & 70′s historians and scholars started talking about them openly again with the

“ARE WE READY TO STOP PLAYIN’ AND OPENLY ACKNOWLEDGE THEM AS ‘YOU KNOW’”

All joking aside we still have a select number of Historians, Scholars, and Hollywood still holding out:

-What about Briseis!? (see above) they both also do sleep with a woman each but sadly here they are seen more as conquest and war prizes than actual lovers - again there is a fluidity

-Achilles was a HERO! Best of the Greeks -He’s always shown as A MAN’S MAN! YET in a separate myth (see Achilleid) his mother Thetis was able to hide him among a group of girly girls on Skyros to which he was perfectly disguised and has a one night stand with the princess again showing their regard for sexual fluidity. ALSO Do not disrespect that he was a manly hero and a femboy! This also explains how his son comes to be - again this is a completely separate myth and origin

-Could they be cousins!? (NO)

-**Closing Eyes** Homo-erotic? WHERE? “Item Not Found”

-”Well all we can say, there is no source, Homer never explicitly stated that Achilles and Patroclus were a couple or had a sexual relationship that we can find in the source material so... I am choosing to ignore all context and blatant evidence, as well have no heterosexual explanation for them either... you’re just reading into it too much”:

EVERYONE who has a brain and has read The Iliad:

As for myself having read the Iliad, studied this Art, History, and Culture, as well as having a BFA; when you know, YOU KNOW. Feel free to share, use this as inspiration to read “The Iliad” if you haven’t already, think critically, and study up on your own!

IN CONCLUSION = THEY GAY & THE OTP !!

(Highly Suggest “The Song of Achilles” as well)

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blossom-hwa · 3 years

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hello !! congrats on 4 years !! i love your writing sm! could i request a tbz haknyeon strangers-to-lovers royalty au plz ?

of course you can! thank you for this request and your support <3

4 year anniversary drabble game: send me a Stray Kids/The Boyz/Golden Child/Ateez member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and I’ll write a drabble for you!

Title: Proposal

Pairing: Haknyeon x gender neutral!reader

Word count: 1.5k

Triggers: mentions of a war

"Your Majesty."

The voice of the guard settles the conversation in the throne room, letting silence fall once more. Haknyeon nods. "Yes?"

"The sovereign of Landis requests an audience."

Whispers fill the room. Haknyeon himself frowns. Landis is a small country down south, barely known for anything other than its waterway system used by traders. There has been contact before, but very limited - his tutors barely saw fit to even mention that to him when he was younger. What might they want with him?

"Landis?"

The guard looks about as confused as he is. "They said it's a matter of utmost urgency."

Haknyeon looks at Changmin. Changmin looks at him. They hold each other's gaze for a moment before Changmin nods once.

He turns back to the guard. "How many in the party?"

"Just two, Your Majesty. The sovereign and one advisor."

Is it so urgent that they could only dispatch a single person other than their ruler? "Have they been searched for weapons?"

"Thoroughly, sir."

He thinks for a moment. "Let the sovereign in," he finally decides, "but not the advisor. I want to know what they want from their ruler's own tongue."

The guard bows, then slips out the door. Just a few seconds later, the doors open again, revealing the ruler of Landis.

You don't look very impressive, not at first. Your clothes, though fine, don't really speak of high royalty, and exhaustion seems to weigh your every step as you traverse the room. But when you come to the center, you look up and meet Haknyeon's gaze...

He's never seen a fire burn so bright in a pair of eyes.

"Your Majesty." You settle on your knees, head bowed forward.

"You may rise," Haknyeon says, then waits for you to stand. "What brings you here, sovereign of Landis?"

Your eyes flicker from wall to wall. "Would it be possible to clear the room before I speak?"

Changmin's shoulders tense. Haknyeon himself almost puts a hand on the sword at his side. "For what reason?"

"I have a proposal to make." You meet his eyes calmly. "I'd simply rather not everyone speak about it if it does not go through. If this is not possible, however, I understand."

Haknyeon narrows his eyes. "My advisors and guards will stay," he says. "The rest of the court is dismissed."

Whispers fill the room, looks thrown his way as the crowds of nobility exit through the doors. Haknyeon acknowledges none of them, but even so, he has to stifle a sigh of relief when the doors finally close. "You said you had a proposal?"

You nod. "Will you allow me to speak?"

"Yes."

You don't waste a minute. "I don't know if you have heard, Your Majesty, but there is a war coming in your direction and mine."

He has heard. The dictator of a larger country, known for its wealth and power, has been rampaging for conquest. However, his country, though wealthy, never seemed to be a target, and none of his allies have fallen thus far...

"I received a letter from the man who leads them." You spit the word man out of your mouth like it burns on your tongue. "He asked for my surrender, for he knows a country as small as mine could never hope to fight off his army."

"Will you surrender, then?"

A sardonic smile plays slightly on your lips. "I don't plan to," you reply. "But I will need resources."

Of course. This is the reason you came. "You ask for my resources, then?" Haknyeon asks. "Why choose my country? Why not one that is larger, more bountiful in wealth?"

"You are closer. We share a common enemy." You swallow slightly. "If he decimates my country, he will no doubt set his eyes on yours. And..."

Haknyeon almost leans forward, so as not to miss a single word you say.

"I hear you are looking for someone's hand in marriage." You meet his eyes. "I am here to offer mine."

Even his advisors don't manage to suppress their surprise at that. Haknyeon can't blame them - how could you, the ruler of a small country known for almost nothing, expect him to accept your hand when you have very little to offer other than your waterways?

You stand among the whispers, unbothered, unflinching. Your stance speaks of confidence, but your eyes speak of intelligence - there's no way you could truly expect him to even consider this proposal, not when you're as smart as Haknyeon believes you are -

Ah.

That's it.

You don't expect him to accept at all.

His voices silences the whispers. "You don't expect me to accept."

You raise your chin, meeting his eyes defiantly. "No, I don't," you admit baldly. "My advisors told me it was useless to try. Why do you think I came alone?"

"Why, indeed." Haknyeon tilts his head. "So let me ask. What was the reason you did come, if you truly have no expectations for your offer?"

Silence falls. Your eyes narrow. For not the first time today, Haknyeon feels almost like the lesser under your gaze, piercing, sharp, determination brewing behind your pupils. But he holds it, because for some reason, even though you are of a smaller nation, a smaller people...

You command attention. You command respect.

And a part of Haknyeon wants you to respect him, too.

"How far would you go for your people, Your Majesty?" you finally ask. "To save them from a war that would decimate you all, crush you under the iron fist of a dictator known for his cruelty?"

The question is rhetorical. Still, though, you pause a moment, those piercing eyes boring deep into his soul.

When you continue, your voice seems to have dropped an octave. "I would do anything, Your Majesty." Your eyes burn with steel. "Even if it meant offering myself to someone whom I have never met."

The silence in the room feels thick enough that Haknyeon almost thinks even his sword couldn't cut through all of it. Out of the corner of his vision, he can see all of his few trusted advisors staring at him, all trying to communicate something different through their eyes.

But Haknyeon thinks he already has an answer.

"How many troops do you expect to need?" he asks.

You don't hesitate. "As many as you can spare."

"What will you be willing to give in return for my aid?"

"We can negotiate use of our extensive waterways," you reply.

"And lastly..." Haknyeon narrows his gaze. "Why do you offer marriage? Is an alliance not sufficient?"

You set your jaw. "Marriage is binding," you say. "More binding than any alliance could be."

Binding. Binding for both you and him. Whatever you offer him in return for his help will be set in stone, essentially, just the same as whatever he offers you.

You're smart. Very smart. Despite having known you for all of less than an hour, Haknyeon feels his respect growing for you by the minute. "Very well," he says. "I have considered your proposal. And..."

The tension heightens. Every one of his advisors leans forward in anticipation. Even you look slightly nervous, the look in your eyes no longer as steady as it was before.

"I will enter an engagement with you," he says, ignoring all of the looks being thrown his way across the room. "It will be in effect as long as you are alive and your kingdom still stands. In return for my troops, you will offer unhindered access to your waterways, for both commercial and military use."

Your jaw tightens. Clearly some of this is not what you wanted, but Haknyeon needs the respect of his advisors. He can't enter this deal without gaining something from it. "If you make it through this with your kingdom intact..."

Anyone could hear a pin drop in the room.

"Then we will marry."

Several people audibly gasp or whisper. Haknyeon lets Changmin issue them a glare. "If you agree, I will have a contract drawn, to be signed within two days. It will be immediately binding." He raises an eyebrow. "Is this to your satisfaction?"

For several long moments, you scrutinize him through those eyes burning with intelligence and determination. They rake over his face, searching, probing, scouring for any hint of dishonesty, any double meaning behind his words.

But Haknyeon has never had anything to hide.

At long last, your sharp gaze softens, still cautious, still guarded, but slightly less so than before. The tiniest hint of relief emanates from your face, from the slightly loosened set of your jaw and the barest hint of a smile on your lips.

Haknyeon wonders what that smile would look like if it were true, genuine, unhampered by the weight of the war on your shoulders.

You nod once, sharply.

"We have a deal, Your Majesty."

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demisexualgeralt · 3 years

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A gift for @jaskierbatey for @thewitchersecretsanta. I tried to fit as much of your wish list in as I could. Happy holidays, and I hope you enjoy!!!

Geralt walked into the saloon and let the giant centipede’s mandible thud loudly on the floor. The chatter in the room stopped, except for the soft sounds of banjo strings, which belonged to a young man who either had a death wish or simply couldn’t take a hint. Regardless, the saloon owner rushed over to inspect Geralt’s offering.

“There were three of them,” Geralt grunted. “Your land should be fine now. No more disappearances.”

“And...the missing?”

“Their bodies are there. You can do with them what you wish. Though I wouldn’t send those with a weak stomach. Sorry.”

The man nodded solemnly and pulled a coin purse from his side. Geralt took it from him and counted out the coins carefully, ensuring the amount was all they’d agreed on. When he determined it was satisfactory, he nodded and turned on his heel. The sooner he could find an inn and get centipede guts off of him, the better.

The next day, he woke early and prepared to get back on the road. A witcher’s life was certainly not a sedentary one, and with so many people traveling West and fucking up the natural wildlife, it had become unusually lucrative. People were desperate and while Geralt didn’t normally like to capitalize on those too down on their luck, he was happy to take the coin of those whose own greed led them to do stupid things like building a town next to the burrowing grounds of a bunch of giant centipedes.

He finished getting Roach ready and was leading her out of the stable when he heard the sound of footsteps behind him. He tensed and turned, wanting to see what unfortunate soul decided to try and rob a witcher.

“Oh! That...is a big sword. I’d ask if you were happy to see me, but, ah, you don’t seem the type to buy into that kind of humor.”

“Hmm.”

“Who am I, I hear you asking! My name is Jaskier and-”

“Don’t care. Fuck off.”

He started to walk away, but heard determined footsteps behind. “You should care. I feel if we put our talents together, we could both come away very rich.”

“Not interested.”

“You seemed very interested in that coin purse earlier.”

Geralt rolled his eyes and turned to face the man. “What I’m interested in is getting paid to do my job. Not whatever hare brained scheme you’ve cooked up. I kill monsters. I get coin. There’s nothing you can do to help with that.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, witcher. See, I have acquired a good deal of stories in my time, and witchers are full of stories. But people don’t like witchers, do they?”

“If this is what being liked gets me, I’ll take my chances.”

Undaunted, the man continued. “I could help you! Spread word of your tales, sing your praises. Increase your coin. You think you got a good deal from that saloon owner? There’s dozens out there like him, just as stupid, who would pay double that for the same job, if only they had a little nudge from yours truly.”

Geralt scoffed. “You’re how old? What would you know about people?”

“Quite a lot, thank you very much! And I’m 19. But I listen. People aren’t that difficult to read when you learn how to listen.”

“And you do?” Geralt asked, leaning against the side of the stall.

“I have to. It’s part of the trade.”

“Hmm.” Geralt eyed him, taking in this strange man in front of him. Eventually, he turned back to Roach. “Fine. Come along. It’s your funeral.”

Months passed and somehow, it was not Jaskier’s funeral. Geralt assumed he would get tired of walking, of not having a warm bed at night, of only having Geralt for company, but some stubbornness must have edged out his discomfort. And Geralt knew he was uncomfortable- he complained constantly, but each night, he settled around the campfire, playing softly while rabbit or squirrel cooked over the fire and listened while Geralt told his stories in halting, sporadic thoughts.

He hated to admit it, but it was nice, having someone to share the road with. Most of the time.

Whenever they traveled into town, however, he was reminded of what an absolute pain Jaskier could be. All he wanted was a drink before heading back to the inn they were staying at and preparing for the next day’s hunt. Instead, he was treated to the sight of Jaskier making himself at home next to a group of women close to the bar. It shouldn’t bother him. It didn’t bother him. It was Jaskier’s job to ingratiate himself to whoever came along, charm them. Jaskier told him time and time again that what he had with those people was never personal, strictly business.

It was easier, then, to understand that what he and Jaskier had was also strictly business. It shouldn’t bother him. And yet, every time he saw Jaskier spend the night with another, only to return triumphant with an expensive trinket or swiped bundle of coins, he felt an ache deep in his bones.

It hurt, to be just another transaction. A means to an end. He might not pay Jaskier, or afford him any trinkets to sell or hoard, but he provided shelter, food, companionship between beds. That was all he would ever be.

He made his way over to the bar, grunting his assent when the barkeep offered him a drink. As she handed it to him, she leaned her elbow on the counter and looked at him.

“Drowning your sorrows over something in particular, witcher?”

“I’m drinking alone.”

She snorted and he glowered. Not many humans were willing to provoke him (except Jaskier), but she had clearly seen enough rough folk to not be cowed by him. “I can see that.”

“Hmm,” he intoned, hoping she would take the hint and end the conversation there. Unperturbed though, she pressed on.

“Seems you don’t have to. That one keeps glancing at you.” She inclined her head slightly and he could see that she was referring to Jaskier. He rolled his eyes.

“He’s a friend.”

“Just a friend?”

“Mmm.”

She nodded slowly. “See, I’d believe that. But I’ve tried to make enough men jealous myself to know the look.”

“Hmm.”

She clicked her tongue. “Not the chatty type. I get it. But think about what I said.” She turned back to other patrons and left Geralt to ruminate on what she’d said.

Eventually, the night wore on and he decided it was time to take his leave, before the truly unruly patrons started to act up. He glanced back at Jaskier, who gave him a smile before turning back to his latest conquests. Satisfied that he would be fine until morning, he headed back to the inn to try and get some rest.

He did not, in fact, get the sleep he was looking for, but instead sat and restlessly tried to avoid thinking about the barkeep’s words. There was no reason for Jaskier to try and make him jealous. If he wanted Geralt, he had plenty of opportunities when they were alone to make a move. He wasn’t shy about going after what he wanted. Geralt thought himself in circles, but they all led to the same conclusion.

Sometime before the sun rose, he heard Jaskier fumble in. “Geralt? Are you awake?”

“I am now,” he grumbled, despite not actually being asleep.

“Good, good. Do you want to see what I got?”

“No.”

“Wonderful.”

He sat heavily at the edge of Geralt’s bed, shoving his feet aside to make room. He smacked Geralt’s leg until he looked at him, practically punching him in his fervor to show Geralt the ring on his finger.

“Are congratulations in order?”

“No, you ass. But it is pretty, isn’t it?” Jaskier looked down to admire it. It was simple, adorned with a modestly sized opal.

Geralt sighed. “Stealing people’s weddings rings seems like a new low, even for you.”

Jaskier scoffed. “I didn’t steal them! I can’t help it that people like to give me nice things. Besides, if you’re mean to me, I won’t give you your present. Close your eyes.”

Geralt did so against his best judgement and felt as Jaskier put something small in his hand.

“Okay. Open.”

He opened his eyes and found a small gold band in the center of his palm.

Jaskier’s eyes shone. “Just think. If we wear them and act like we just got married, they might give us a free room! Or...a room upgrade at least. It’s great, right?”

Geralt swallowed.

“Or…” Jaskier backtracked. “We could melt it down? I’m sure we’d get money for the gold?”

“Fine. Whatever you want to do.”

“Geralt? Did I...offend you?” He bit his lip. “Look, I know you would never actually marry me. This is just...a con. But, if even the thought of it offends you, I’ll...I won’t bring it up again.”

“It’s fine.”

Jaskier tapped nervously on his thighs. “Geralt, please. I don’t want this to get in the way of our friendship. If you want me to go…”

“I don’t.”

“Okay. Well, that’s a relief. Then why won’t you look at me?”

Geralt sighed. He wasn’t like Jaskier, couldn’t say what he wanted to say and make it all fit together somehow. His words were stilted, difficult.

“I don’t want to pretend.”

“I already told you, Geralt, we don’t have to do that if you don’t-”

Geralt moved forward to kiss Jaskier, who just let out a surprised ‘oh’ against his mouth. He didn’t pull away though, relaxing into Geralt’s touch. After a moment, he pulled away, looking for something he couldn’t name in Jaskier’s eyes. Acceptance? Joy?

“That...yeah. We can...you want to? With me?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be the wordsmith?”

Jaskier glowered at him. “The man I’ve been hopelessly in love with for months just kissed me. Forgive me for not recovering immediately.”

“You- months?”

“You didn’t know? Geralt, I’ve been making moves for months? You really didn’t notice?”

“...no.”

Jaskier huffed a laugh. “Well. Then let me make myself abundantly clear. I like you. I would like to do this and other things with you in the future. If you would like.”

“I would...like. That.”

“Perfect,” Jaskier said, leaning in to capture Geralt’s lips again.

After a while, Jaskier lay on Geralt’s chest, and Geralt felt the first threads of sleep calling him. Before he could though, he heard Jaskier speak up again.

“So, does this mean that we can do the marriage con?”

“Go to sleep, Jaskier.”

“Fiiiiiiine.”

#the witcher #geraskier #the witcher secret santa #jaskierbatey

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librarianbusdriver · 3 years

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Ted: Okay, where was I? You were telling us how you met mom. In excruciating detail. Right. So, back in 2005, When I was 27, My two best friends got engaged, And it got me thinking, maybe I should get married.

*Sigh*

And then I saw robin. She was incredible. I just knew I had to meet her. That's where your uncle barney came in. I suggest we play a little game I like to call Wait, no, no, no. We're not playing "have you met ted?" Hi. Have you met ted? So I asked her out. But after just one date, I was in love with her Which made me say something stupid. I think I'm in love with you. What?! Oh, dad. So then what happened? Nothing. I mean, I'd made a complete fool of myself. So, a week went by, and I decided not to call her. So you're not gonna call her? You went from, "I think I'm in love with you"

Trapped, the same hollow, dull story repeating again, and again, and again all around me. No way to change its course. No way to do anything but just... watch.

To "I'm not gonna call her"? I wasn't in love with her, okay? I was briefly in love with the abstract concept Of getting married. It had absolutely nothing to do with robin. Robin. Hi. Look who I ran into. Since when do you guys know each other? Oh, since about... Here. Lily recognized me From the news and... Hello, sailor! They just got engaged. Well, I should get back to the station. See you, guys. Nice seeing you, ted. Yeah, you, too. Thanks. What? Damn it! I'm in love with her. As your sponsor, I will not let you relapse. You blew it, it's over, move on. I don't know, I just have this feeling She's the future mrs. Ted mosby. ( Lily squeaks) Lily, you squeaked? She said something about me, didn't she? Come on, spill it, red! Fine. So, what do we think of ted? ( Iaughs) Ted's something else. Huh. I'm gonna spin that as good. Lots of guys are something, I'm something else. Comes on a little strong. But, that's part of my charm. But, that's part of his charm. Oh, totally. I mean, he's sweet, he's charming, He's just looking for something A little bit more serious than I am. I mean, the most I can handle right now is something casual. This just stays between us, right? Are you kidding? This flapper? Fort knox. Oops. She wants casual. Okay, I'll be casual. I'm going to be a mushroom cloud of casual. Cause it's a game... I want her to skip To the end and do the whole happily-ever-after thing. But you don't get there unless you play the game. So, are you going to ask her out? Yeah... No! I can't ask her out, Because if I ask her out, I'm asking her out. So, how do I Ask her out without asking her out? Did you guys get high? I got it. I don't ask her out. I invite her To our party next Friday. We're having a party next Friday? We are now. Casual. Like inviting a hundred people over just to mack on one girl. Oh, and lily, that's my leg. You waited five minutes to tell me that? All right, so call her up. No, calling's not casual. I just got to bump into her somewhere. Now, if only I knew her schedule, I could arrange a chance encounter. That's great, ted... you'll be the most casual stalker ever. Put that ring on her finger, lily had been, Well, extra affectionate. ( chuckling ): Baby, no. I have a 25-page paper on constitutional law due Monday. Hey, I'm just sitting here, wearing my ring,

Wallachia, how I miss you.

My beautiful ring. ( Typing) Kind of makes wearing other stuff seem wrong. Like my shirt. Kind of don't want to wear my shirt anymore. Or... My underwear. That's right, I'm not wearing any. ( Sighs ) No underwear? Not even slightly. Ted: Guys. Boundaries. Robin ( on tv ): Thanks, bill. I'm reporting from the razzle dazzle supermarket On 75th and columbus... 75th and columbus. Game on! Where four-year-old leroy ellenberg has climbed Inside a grab-a-prize machine and gotten stuck. ( Panting ) And, all in the pursuit of a stuffed, purple giraffe. For metro news 1, I'm robin trubotsky. Engineer: We're clear. Robin: Thanks, don. Whew. Ted. Robin, wow! What are the odds? Oh, you know, just, uh, shopping for, uh, dip. I love dip. I mean, I don't love dip, I like dip... ( chuckles ) so, uh, hey, you, uh, Reporting a news story or something? Yeah, kid stuck in a crane machine. How sweet of you to call it news. Wow. Kid in a crane machine. Mm-hmm. You just had to have that toy, didn't you? Couldn't play the game like everyone else. You're all sweaty! Cute kid. Um, you know, It's so funny I should run into you. We're, uh, we're having a party next Friday, If you feel like swinging by. But, you know, whatever. Oh, I'm going back home next weekend. It's too bad it's not tonight. It is... It's tonight. This Friday. Did I say next Friday? Sorry, I guess I've been saying next Friday all week. But, yeah, it's tonight, the, uh, the party's tonight. But, you know, whatever. ( Phone rings) Hello? Hey, am I interrupting anything? No, no, I'm just writing my paper. Hitting the books. Yeah, well, you and lily Might want to put some clothes on. We're throwing a party in two hours. Okay, bye. What are you gonna do when robin shows up? Okay, I got it all planned out. She steps through the door... and where's ted? Not eagerly waiting by the door. No, I'm across the room at my drafting table, Showing some foxy young thing all my cool architect stuff. So, robin strolls over, and I casually give her one of these: "hey, what's up?" She says, "hey, nice place, et cetera, et cetera." And then, I say, "well, make yourself at home." And, I casually return to my conversation. Then, an hour later... "oh, you're still here?" I say, like I don't really care, But it's a nice surprise. And then, very casually: Both: The roof! Get her up to the roof, And the roof takes care of the rest. What's so special about the roof? Oh, the moon, the stars, the shimmering skyline. You can't not fall in love on that roof. We do it up there, sometimes. Solid plan, my little friend. But, may I suggest one little modification. Barney: That foxy young thing you were chatting up, Take her up to the roof and have sex with her. Crazy monkey style... That's not the plan. Barney: Well, it should be the plan. I mean, look at her. Ted, look at her. She's smoking! Thank you! Yeah... But, she's not robin! Exactly! Ted, let's rap. Statistic: At every new york party, There's always a girl who has no idea Whose party she's at. She knows no one you know, And you will never see her again. Do you see where I'm going with this? Barney, I don't think so. ( groans ) Scoping.

I miss it all. The childhood spent in that bountiful castle, the beauty of those rolling green fields...

( Imitates sonar beeping ) Scoping. Man, you're a dork. ( Accelerates beeping sound ) Target acquired! Now it's time we play a little game I like to call "have you met ted?" oh, come on, not this. Hi. Have you met ted? No. Hi. Hi. Do you know marshall? Lily? Woman: No. Hmm. Do you know anyone at this party? I work with carlos. Excuse me. Anyone know a carlos? No. No. On a silver platter. Bon appétit. I don't think so. Your loss, her gain. Excuse me. Can I show you the roof? It's magical up there. Sure. Ted: Wait, wait. Hey, hey, I got that roof reserved. Dude, robin's not coming. Hey, she's going to show up! She'll show up. Ted: She didn't show up. At least it was a great party. I ate, like, four whole cans of dip. You always know what to say, old friend. ( Phone ringing ) It's robin. No, no, not right away... got to seem casual. ( Ringing continues ) Hello? I'm so sorry I missed your party. Who is this? Meredith? Robin. Oh, robin! Hey! Yeah, I, uh, guess you never showed up, did you? No, I got stuck at work. But, they finally got that kid out of the crane machine. Did he get to keep the purple giraffe? Yeah, they let him keep all the toys. He was in there a long time, And little kids have small bladders. ( Chuckles ) robin: I wish your party Was tonight. It is... the party's tonight. Yeah, uh... It's a two-day party, 'cause that's just how we roll. Uh, so, if you want to swing by, you know, it's casual. See ya. So, that was robin. What are you Doing to me, man?! I got a paper to write! I know! Sorry! It's terrible! I'll buy more dip! Ted! Ted, wait! Get french onion! Can you believe this guy? I got a paper to write. Okay, fine. But, it's got to be, like, super-quick, And no cuddling after. I'm the luckiest girl alive. You were so right about the roof! The roof! The roof is on fire, ted! That girl from last night... I took her back to my place, Spun her around a couple times and sent her walking. She will never find her way back, and there she is. How did she get here? Did you invite her? I have no idea who that is. She said she works with carlos. Who's carlos? I don't know any carlos. ( Frustrated groan)

The conquests... the blood of my enemies spilled, and villages burnt to the ground in my name.

Hi, you! You're back! I sure am. Mmm. Come on, sweetie, I need a drink. "Sweetie"? Really? ( Barely audible ): Help. Whoa! Whoa, rabbits! Come on, I got that roof reserved. All right. So, it's over between me and works-with-carlos girl. Whoa! That was fast. Yeah. I was trying to think, What's the quickest way to get rid of a girl you just met? I think I'm in love with you. What?! Thanks, bro. Glad I could help. What the... No, no, no. Come on. Sorry, ted. Great. What am I going to do when robin shows up? She'll show up. She didn't show up. All right. We threw two parties. Everybody had fun. Everybody wanged, everybody chunged. Now, the kid has got to get to work, And the kid is not to be disturbed. Repeat after me. I will not have sex with marshall. Both: I will not have sex with marshall. ( Phone ringing ) It's robin. Hello? Hi, ted. Amanda? Oh, denise! Sorry, you totally sounded like amanda. It's robin. Oh, robin. Hi. I totally wanted to come. I got stuck at work again. I feel like I live there. I'm sorry I missed your party, again. Hey, ain't no thing but a chicken wing, mamacita. Who am I? I guess there's no chance your two-dayer Turned into a three-dayer? It did, indeed. The party continues tonight. Yeah. Uh, last night, people were like, "keep it going, bro. Party trifecta." Wow! Okay, well, I'll be there. Great! See you tonight. So, that was robin. So, I threw a third party for robin... On a Sunday night. Well, this is lame. Lame... Or casual? Lame. Or casual? Hey, law books. Ready for a little 15 minute recess? Sorry, baby, I got to work. I need all my blood up here. Has anybody seen an introduction to contract tort And restitution statutes from 1865-1923? Anybody seen a big-ass book? All ( muttering ): No. Woman: Hello, barney. Of course. You look well. Is it weird they invited both of us? Who? Who invited you? No one even knows who you are! I understand you're hurt, but you don't have to be cruel. Carlos was right about you. Who is carlos?! Hey, where the hell is my...? Oh...! Okay... An introduction to contract tort And restitution statutes from 1865-1923 Is not a coaster! Ted, I'm jeopardizing my law career so you can throw not one, Not two, but three parties for some girl that you just met Who's probably not even going to show up! I mean, where is she, ted, huh? Where's robin? Hi. Hi, robin. Wow. So, you threw all these parties for me? No. Oh, you thought that... No! I... Okay, yes. You got me. One of the reasons I threw these parties Was so that I could introduce you To, um, this guy. Uh, I figured, you know, Since it didn't work out between us And now we can just laugh about it... ( laughs weakly) Anyway, robin, this is... Carlos. Oh! Oh! She's still talking to carlos. I can still win this. I-it's not over. Okay, buddy. Time for the tough talk. Robin seems great, but let's look at the facts. You want to get married. And right now, There's a million women in new york Looking for exactly you. But robin ain't one of them. She's not just one of them. She's the one. Yeah, well, the one is heading up to the roof. What are you going to do? Nothing. It's a game. I got to just keep playing it. ( Rock music playing ) Ted... Hey, carlos, can you give us a minute? Hey, no sweat, hombre. See ya. Robin...

Will I ever be freed of this damnable place?

Look, I didn't throw this party To set you up with carlos, Or the one before that, or the one before that. I threw these parties because I wanted to see you. Well, here I am. There's something here, look, unless I'm crazy. You're not crazy. I don't know, ted. I mean, we barely know each other And you're looking at me with that look. And, it's like... Like, "let's fall in love and get married And have kids and drive them to soccer practice." I'm not going to force sports on them Unless they're interested. ( Iaughing ) It's a great look. But you're looking at the wrong girl. No, I'm not. I don't want to get married right now, maybe ever. I'd feel like I'd either have to marry you Or break your heart, and... I just couldn't do either of those things. Just like you can't turn off the way you feel. Click. Off. Let's make out. What? What? That was the off switch. And I turned it off. I mean, look, sure, yes, I want to fall in love, get married, blah, blah, blah. But, on the other hand... You, me, the roof. There's no off switch. There is an off switch. And it's off. No, it's not. Yes, it is. No, it's not. Yes... It is. No, it's not. You're right. There's no off switch. God, I wish there was an off switch! Me, too. ( Both laughing ) ( both muttering nervously ) What do we do now? We could be friends. Oh... I know it sounds insincere when people say that, But... We could. I don't know, robin. I've made such a jackass of myself here. We start hanging out, every time I see you It'll be like, "oh, that's right. I'm a jackass." You're not a jackass. Look, I'm sorry. I only moved here in April and I'm always working And I just haven't met a lot of good people so far. But I understand. Well, uh, maybe in a few months, After it's not so fresh, We could all, uh, you know, get a beer. Yeah. That sounds good. I'll see you, ted. Or, you know, now. We could all get a beer now. I'd like that. My friends are going to love you... Like you, you know, as a friend. Jackass. Unbelievable. That's just a recipe For disaster. They work together! Are you jealous? Oh, please. What does carlos have that I don't? A date tonight. All: Oh! Stop the tape. Rewind. ( Imitates tape rewinding ) a date tonight. All: Oh! I'm not sure I like her. Hey, don't you have a paper to write? Dude, you're talking to the kid. I'm going to knock back this beer. I'm going to knock back one more beer. I'm going to write a 25-page paper. I'm going to hand it in and I'm going to get an "a." My name is rufus and that's the trufus. ( Iaughter ) Ted: He got a b-minus. But still, 25 pages in one night, b-minus? The kid was good. At least let me buy you a beer. Come on, I'll buy everyone a beer. I'll help carry. You know something, ted? What? You are a catch. You're going to make some girl very happy. And I am going to help you find her. Well, good luck. I mean, maybe new york's just too big a town. I mean, there's millions of people in this city. How, in all this mess, Is a guy supposed to find the love of his life? I mean, where do you even begin? Hi. Have you met ted? ( Music rises over dialogue )

I do not know if I can, but I must.

[STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB]

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOUUU-

#orange text #god #long post #ask to tag #the red text vaguely resembles the way my grandparent speaks #so this is very #disturbing

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squirrelacorngliterfarts · 4 years

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Blood 2. 33.

Everything Taglist: @gold-dragon-slayer @your-internet-granny

@darkwhisperswolf @youbloodymadgenius @blonddnamedhandz @thelastemzy @inforapound @supermassiveblackhope @captstefanbrandt @roonil-wxzlib @syreni-dea @cynthianokamaria @rosiebrosie @loliismutt@pinkisokay @heavenly1927 @annekleyn @rose-02468 @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @moonie-flower101 @xinyourdreamsx

wanna start from the beginning? haven’t read the first part? start here! Blood 1 Masterlist

(y/n) doesn’t look up at everyone until bjorn starts speaking, it is only then she allows herself to meet ivars gaze, which is burning hers so deeply.

(y/n) sits beside bjorn, facing ivar, their army behind them ivars army in front of them, yellow and blue forming around the broken family.

“we all know today we have so many shield-maidens and warriors-at-arms that we must decide whether we fight or we reach an accommodation allowing us to go live our lives with integrity and honor”.

everyone seemingly agrees with bjorns words.

“i call upon my brothers, ivar, hvitserk. let’s put aside our differences, for the sake of our father. a civil war can only bring tragedy, weaken our family, and set in train a lifetime of revenge obligations for those who manage to survive! is that really what you want?” bjorn angrily asks, and ivar and hvitserk can’t find the words to say.

next to speak is ubbe.

“i want to speak up and support bjorn, and his call for a peaceful resolution. it is true i set my face against my brother. but if you can forgive me, ivar, let us make an accord”.

hearing the pain in ubbes voice makes (Y/n) grip her chair’s side, having to cam herself from emotionally breaking.

“we are going to war for the kingdom of kattegat. the kingdom of kattegat was carved out by my husband ragnar lothbrok, and then by me. i am its rightful queen” lagertha says strongly, standing up now.

her words anger (Y/n) slightly, remembering how well her mother ruled it whilst ragnar was gone, but now is not the time for her quarrel with lagertha to come to light.

“what we should be discussing is how we combine our great armies, and direct them out towards new lands, new conquests, new opportunities. what a.... terrible pity to kill our young men for a piece of land which is already ours” lagertha says.

and ivar and (y/n) look to one another, and she has that pleading look in her eyes that makes ivar’s lip tremble.

he was so weak when it came to her.

“astrid! i am happy to see you again. whatever has happened, i don’t want to fight you” lagertha says waiting for astrid to respond, and when she didn’t, lagertha became angered.

“astrid!” she calls out in shock that astrid did not respond to her words of peace.

astrid smiles, (Y/n) can see it’s plastered on for the sole purpose of making the men beside her happy, and she says:

“i am married now. i am king harald’s wife” she says, resting her hand on haralds shoulder.

both ivar and harald looked quite smug at astrids words, revelling at lagerthas very clear pain on her face and in her voice.

“queen astrid, i suppose!” lagertha says, now moving away from them, looking defeated already, and the war had not even begun.

“brother, let’s not fight. what can we gain? nothing” halfdan tries to reason, but (y/n) knows what type of men ivar and harald are. she knows they won’t give in.

“on the contrary. we will gain the world. join us and i will share it with you” harald says, pleading eyes on his brother.

halfdan says and does nothing.

“it is really up to you, ivar. if you decide that you cannot fight against your family.... that you do not want to fight against your family.... then we can find an accord. and king harald can’t stop us” bjorn says, frustrated, hurt, like they all were.

(y/n) stands, hating the eyes on her, wishing it were only ivars, but knowing he too was looking, made her all the more confident in her words.

“ivar, my whole life, i felt outside my family, though ubbe, bjorn, hvitserk, sigurd, mother and father tried to convince me otherwise, there was still lagging in my mind, that i didn’t belong, that i could not fit amongst the strong vikings of my family, and realizing i had you, who too felt the same way i did, it made me feel more at home then any words can say”.

ivar’s entire body softens, gazing at her with sadness, hearing sigurds name, remembering the things he said to her...............

“we played together, drank together, fought together, we were together, not apart, and knowing that’s what we are now makes me sick, i can not fight against my brothers, against you, ivar. it will break me, break you, all of us. it will take time to heal, but i know that if i had you by my- our side, it will heal us so much faster”.

her voice fails her at the end of her words, emotions building, she and ivar doing their best to conceal their tears.

it is silent for a moment, ivar taking in her words, swallowing the rock in his throat.

lagertha comes to stand in front of him then, speaking.

“you have so much to lose, ivar” lagertha says, making ivar look towards (Y/n).

“if you want war, then let’s have war. but win or lose....you lose. you gain victory over the other children of ragnar and people will say you are an illegitimate ruler and a usurper. and if you lose, they will say it was by the will of the gods and the will of ragnar, who now sups with them in valhalla, and cries for us now” lagertha states, her words true and causes (y/n) to hang her head, turning away from everyone, arms crossed over her chest.

“do not do this, ivar. we are the children of ragnar. is that not enough for any man?” ubbe asks, and once again, everything is silent, everything is still.

(y/n) looks over her shoulder when she hears someone stand, and finds ivar using his crutch to meet everyone’s height.

“bring horns of mead. we should celebrate. there will be no battle today. nor tomorrow”.

(y/n) feels pure shock fill her body, her mouth agape in surprise, her eyes stinging, happiness warming her heart.

“what are you talking about? you cannot decide that!” harald says angrily, and ivar has had enough.

“i do not want to fight against my family. i still hate myself for killing sigurd. this would be 10 times worse. i can’t. i renounce my promise to kill lagertha. she can have kattegat. i don’t want it” ivar says, and (y/n) doesn’t know whether to fall to her knees and thank the gods, or run to him and embrace him.

he grunts as he makes his way to stand in front of ubbe.

“ubbe, you’re right. we are all the children of ragnar” ivar says, repeating ubbes words, his eyes casting over to (Y/n) as he says this, and she smiles and nods.

“forgive me”.

and ubbe and (y/n) know they have already forgiven him, he should know that as well.

(y/n) feels elated, so ready to start over and walk away from this field.

her brothers well and alive, and she and ivar together again.

together again at last.

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zktop10 · 4 years

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Top 10 Rated M WIPs!

Small deviation means bigger gaps between stories. The best way to move a story up is to leave kudos and bookmark the ones you love!

Sx: 0.24

NO MINORS! ADULT CONTENT! 18+ ONLY!

List under the cut:

Title: Southern Lights Author: colourwhirled Summary: A world where the Avatar has disappeared from memory. Where Sozin’s Conquest was successful. Where the unsteady order of the empire is threatened as members of the royal family are picked off one by one and lines are slowly drawn in the sand.

One last hope for peace forces an unlikely alliance between a homesick waterbender, a carefree Air Nomad, a runaway Earth Kingdom heiress, and the fire lord's inscrutable son. Together they must learn to shed old enmities and become the balance they seek to restore to the world. OR: The avatar has four heads. x [[Chapter 4: "And always, his eyes, cautiously watching her. Even when he thinks she isn’t looking. It drives her mad"]] Score: 10 / 10 Tags: Smut, Alternate Universe, Pre-Canon Divergence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn Last Updated: 2020-06-15

Title: live fast (die young) Author: jarrahs Summary: Zuko recognises two of them, the football player and his girlfriend. But the girl with them…all big blue eyes and tan skin, long—Jesus, long—hair. She looks good enough to eat.

Azula glances at him, amused, “Looks like your little blue pill just walked through the door.” (Zutara Modern-College AU) Score: 9.6 / 10 Tags: Alternate Universe, Modern Setting, College Setting, Slow Burn, Enemies to Friends to Lovers Last Updated: 2019-01-10

Title: The King's Pet or The King Author: ShamelessLiar Summary: Sequel to Call Me Katto (spoilers follow!) Katara wakes to find herself imprisoned by the man she loved and must navigate a subtle battlefield if she hopes to escape and free her friends. Yet Zuko, embroiled in Azula's deadly game as he returns to a life he lost long ago, has no intention of letting her stray from his side. They could face anything together - if only she didn't hate him.

Part 2 of Call Me Katto AU Score: 9.4 / 10 Tags: Series Last Updated: 2020-04-19

Title: The Summit Author: AJ_Lenoire Summary: To commemorate the end of the Hundred Years' War and to ensure nothing like that ever happens again, the Four Nations agree to hold a Summit every year. Two weeks of political talks, cultural immersion and utter harmony. As Fire Lord, Zuko is in charge of hosting the first, set in the Fire Nation capital. As war-heroes, Katara, Sokka, Toph, Suki and of course Aang are in attendance also.

However, as Katara finds herself yearning for a life beyond that of the Avatar's faithful companion, it appears that politics will not be the only tumultuous waters they have to navigate. Score: 9.0 / 10 Tags: Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Post Canon, Comfort/Angst, Smut Last Updated: 2020-06-03

Title: so let us melt, and make no noise Author: LittleLostStar Summary: It was just as well, then; the South Pole was a lonely place, and his quest fell on him and him alone. It seemed only right that the last part of his journey would be the hardest, but he was so close. Just a few more miles, just a few more nights, just a single horrifying task to accomplish, and then he could finally go home again. Bring me the heart of the last waterbender. The tallest order imaginable, and yet he would do it. He would do anything, if it meant restoring his honour and setting things back to the way they used to be. ~ When a mission to the South Pole goes awry, Prince Zuko awakens in the home of a healer named Katara and finds his heart is damaged and his bending has vanished. His quest to find the last waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe is his destiny-- the one chance to regain his honour and return home. But as time passes and Zuko's heart heals, it becomes clear that Katara is protecting an ancient secret of her own, and that both of their destinies are entwined in ways never before thought possible. Score: 8.7 / 10 Tags: Alternate Universe, Canon Divergence, Slow Burn, No Avatar Last Updated: 2020-02-11

Title: Subterfuge Author: Smylealong Summary: Thirty years ago, the Fire Nation attacked, throwing the world off balance. Katara entered the Fire Nation war camp at Ba Sing Se as a healer, prepared to do whatever it takes to play her part in stopping the war. Getting kidnapped with the Fire Prince and falling in love with him were not parts of the plan.

AU. Zutara.

This is the Zutara story I have always wanted to read but never found it anywhere. So I decided to write it myself.

Part 1 of Subterfuge Score: 7.6 / 10 Tags: Character Death, Smut, Gore, Dark, Alternate Universe, Series Last Updated: 2020-06-16

Title: Lost and Found Author: Smediterranea Summary: Chief Hakoda and his men are out on patrol when they encounter a surprise: an injured boy alone on the ice.

Hakoda brings him back to the South Pole, but keeping this boy alive may be dangerous in ways Hakoda had not anticipated...

A canon-divergent story where Zuko comes of age with the Southern Water Tribe with his only two friends in the world: Sokka and Katara. Score: 6.9 / 10 Tags: Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Alternate Universe, Canon Divergence Last Updated: 2020-06-18

Title: don't blame me, love made me crazy Author: theadamantdaughter Summary: ...in which Zuko is recently divorced and definitely not looking for love, then Katara finds him. Score: 6.0 / 10 Tags: Smut, Porn with Plot, Alternate Universe, Modern Setting Last Updated: 2018-11-19

Title: Broken Hearts and Shattered Breaths Author: Smylealong Summary: Thirteen years after the war, Sokka breaks into Zuko's courtroom with a plea to help Katara who faces certain death. Zuko abandons everything to rush to his friend's aid, but once there, he realizes that for Katara to live, he has to make a big sacrifice - one he is not ready for. Post War Zutara.

Part 1 of Broken Hearts and Shattered Breaths Score: 5.9 / 10 Tags: Series Last Updated: 2020-06-19

Title: The worst thing that could happen Author: BethRedus Summary: “I have an idea. How to solve all of the problems. Mine, yours, all of them!"

“You do?”

“It is a good plan. A very good plan. I will solve all the problems. But…”

“But?”

“You are going to hate it."

“Katara, what is this despicable, all solving plan of yours?”

“We need to get married.” Score: 5.8 / 10 Tags: Fake Marriage, Pretend Relationship, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Firelady Katara Last Updated: 2020-05-04

#zutara #zutara fanfiction #fanfic rec list #rated m #wips #top 10

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littlequeenies · 4 years

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BEBE BUELL: MUSING ON MUSES AND OTHER FANS

📷BEBE BUELLJUNE 17, 2020

Before embarking on a musical career of her own, Bebe Buell was a much in-demand model but was most often seen as the second fiddle to the famous rock musicians she was dating. She, however, saw herself as the Muse to these musicians, inspiring and sharing ideas with them. Inevitably, the term “groupie” would arise. As she says, “I’m not opposed to ‘groupies,’ per se. I just don’t like being called a name or being tagged like a sheep to slaughter’. Bebe elaborates on this idea for PKM.

I remember the first time I saw a photograph of Oscar Wilde. I was five and it was Easter. We were at the Virginia Beach home of my mother’s friends, Poppy and Tilly, who were hosting a Sunday get together. We were dressed in our pastels and frills and the candy and food was flowing. It was an adult affair and, being the only child there, I wandered off to explore while the grown-ups enjoyed their martinis and snacks. I found myself in a living room study area and on the table was a big book filled with photos of poets, painters, sculptors and scholars. I was immediately drawn to an image of Oscar draped on a chair like a velvet throw! It stuck with me and when I got older I looked him up in the school library. At the age of twelve I read The Picture Of Dorian Gray, but my main interest was in Oscar Wilde, the man and his story. I felt an instant connection, just as I have with all the great inspirations in my life. In 1978, when I was living between NYC, Maine and LA, before finishing the year in London, I never missed one episode of Masterpiece Theatre and their 13 episodes of Lillie about the life of Lillie Langtry, played brilliantly by Francesca Annis. To my delight, it explored in great depth the relationship/friendship between Oscar and Lillie, and I became obsessed with knowing everything and anything I could about their dynamic. I was intrigued, too, by the descriptions of Mrs. Langtry in the press at that time in England and the U.S. She was often called a “Professional Beauty” or “The Jersey Lily” because she was born on Jersey, the largest of the Channel Islands off the coast of Normandy. She was also one of the most featured women in advertising; her face was everywhere. She was the image for Pears Soap and the most respected painters of the day stood in line just to have a sitting with her. In 1877, she met Edward, Prince of Wales, later King Edward VII, and became his first publicly acknowledged mistress.

One of my favorite quotes was attributed to her from her conversations with Wilde: “They saw me, those reckless seekers of beauty, and in a night I was famous.” This reminded me of the back room at Max’s Kansas City, the temple of cool when I arrived in New York during the era of everything! It was this platonic duo that introduced me to the role of the “Muse”—that is the Artist and the Muse. Throughout history and especially in the arts, there seems to always be a driving force that brings the flora. In the series Lillie, they emphasized how Oscar would repeat Lillie’s quips and observations in his writing. Their banter with one another fascinated me and I often envisioned myself as a “Patron of The Arts”, in a sense, as I’ve always promoted and sang the praises of those whose work I liked. I felt an affinity with that spirit—the gift of inspiring and sharing special ideas with an artist I admired. It wasn’t just music. I adored musing with photographers, writers, film directors and designers, too. Creative energies have always fed my soul. The first time I referenced the term “muse” was in a 1981 interview I did with the Emmy-winning writer Stephen Demorest for the edgy publication Oui. Its sister magazine in France was called Lui. Playboy had taken over ownership of Oui so it was a glossy, classy, European-style men’s delight, targeting a younger demographic. When Stephen approached me about the piece, he showed me a couple other interviews with “It Girls” that had been published.

One was with Patti D’Arbanville, the inspiration for some of Cat Stevens’ biggest hits. He even used her last name in one of the songs, “Lady D’Arbanville”. I knew Patti from the early 70s and, in fact, it was she who introduced me to Jimmy Page in 1973 on a night out dancing with her in NYC. It was a quick meeting, as I was eager to get home to my boyfriend at the time, Todd Rundgren. A year later, I would run into Mr. Page again and the rest is the stuff of rock tales.

I adored Patti so knowing that both she and Jerry Hall had done this particular interview sealed the deal. Like Patti Boyd, Jane Asher, Linda Eastman, Maureen Van Zandt, Sara Dylan, to name a few, the musical muse is the most often of the muses referenced. I recall how so many people wanted to know my viewpoints and opinions about the word “muse” and why I preferred it to the term “groupie”.

Even in Cameron Crowe’s Almost Famous, his beloved character Penny Lane’s first words on screen are, “We are not groupies. We inspire the music- we are bandaids!”. The film was Cameron’s love letter to women and how even at that time a stigma was attached to calling a woman a groupie; it was not necessarily a compliment. It was almost like a dismissive jab, on par with “she’s such a slut” or “whore”. Another scene in Almost Famous has all of the members of the fictitious band Stillwater squeezed onto a small plane that, they thought, was about to crash. Secrets were spilled and fingers were pointed. In one of the most moving moments, the William character defends Penny when she is described as “that groupie” by one of the band members. William nails it when he points out who and “what” she really is- a bright light and cherished fan. Someone who loved them all and for all the right reasons.

I feel that women have been unfairly branded and labeled without cause. I’ve often said that I’m not opposed to “groupies,” per se. I just don’t like being called a name or being tagged like a sheep to slaughter. Summing me up for the life I’ve lived, seen through someone else’s eyes or, worse, exaggerating the truth. I didn’t want those I’ve truly loved or the relationships I’ve had to be considered less sincere because of the visibility of my partner.

Certainly loving music or dating musicians is not derogatory. Isn’t it logical, then, that birds of a feather flock together? Like-minded tribes mate or unite because of chemistry? Rock boys and models have been drawn to each other since forever! In the Netflix series Hollywood, you find that sex and sexual favors were the core of the industry. Several of the movie stars everyone loved on screen had started out as rent boys or nude models to make ends meet. Who decides why someone can give a blow job to the “right” person and get a starring role in a movie and another blow job by an aspiring talent gets tossed into the trash can of regret.

Why, after having four children with Mick Jagger, a successful modeling career and now being Mrs. Rupert Murdoch, would anyone refer to Jerry Hall as a groupie? Or gold digger, another favorite term used to describe women who marry well. Or Marianne Faithfull, Anita Pallenberg or Winona Ryder, for heaven’s sake? These are the questions I’ve always had and one of the main reason why I have rejected the term groupie in the press. It’s not a personal attack on those who identify with the moniker. It’s my own rebellion against being labeled and frowned on for the relationships I’ve had.

I’ve taken this stand for a long time, even though it’s also caused some judgement and negativity towards me from other women. It’s almost as if they think I see myself as better than them. Or that I’m not being honest when I don’t just call myself a full-on groupie, and own it. My closest friends tell me it’s just jealousy but that doesn’t make it any less hurtful to have tales and lies circulated about you by people you barely know or those who don’t know me at all. Or to have relationships that lasted for years being reduced to a laundry list of “conquests.”

This is nothing new, of course. Catherine The Great‘s enemies within the Emperor’s Court turned on her and started rumors that she was a sex fiend who had intercourse with horses. That stuck with her throughout her life and even in the museums of Russia, the tale has echoed although it’s completely untrue. Cleopatra and Anne Boleyn were also targeted. Ruining reputations was the way people got their revenge in days of yore. Or in some cases, the reason why some lost their heads to the guillotine. Why is it that women who have power or beauty have been subjected to crazy accusations of sexual voracity or deviance? Eve takes the blame for the banishment from Eden and although she was supposedly created from Adam’s rib, she is seen as a temptress and Adam as her victim.

I believe every woman should identify by how she feels comfortable and for the work she does. I personally prefer to be known for what I do, my accomplishments, my career. However, dating a rock star or an actor should not merit a nasty quip or name calling fest. It becomes unbalanced when just because someone gets famous as, say, a model or an actress and then dates a rock star, that she should get called anything other than what she does to earn a living. I’m not sure “groupie” falls under the umbrella of job occupation. I’d file it under pastime, hobby, passion, or fetish.

The origins of the groupie started with nothing more than a desire to be close to the band—the guys who made the music. Or in some cases, the women. The term came into use in the mid-1960s as slang for women who liked to hang out with musicians. It’s fair to say that not all “groupies” are the same. There are many tiers and pecking orders when narrowing it down. Certainly not every girl who dreams of being with a rock star will waltz backstage and demand sex or give oral gratification. That’s the image I despise and wish would not tarnish the entire viewpoint to the outside world. Some of the girls on the scene want to take the word “groupie” back, to personify what it meant in the ‘60s and early ‘70s. It became something entirely different when the ‘80s rolled around. Bands born out of the LA scene liked a different kind of arm candy than the Rolling Stones or the Beatles. They preferred exotic dancers and porn stars, the girls du jour of the time. Just as music changes with each era, so do the kinds of women who pursue the bands. But, more importantly, what kind of women the bands seek out. One man’s status is another man’s yen.

And then there are those who look at being a groupie as a form of prostitution. I’ve never understood that one because most girls who live that lifestyle don’t charge money to be with their favorite rock god or even their crew. It’s a thrill to be with the band, but it seems the glamor that was once attached to that goal has changed. For me, it was a thrill to fight to say “I’m IN the band”… or even “I AM the band!”

When I was living with Todd, he produced one of the first all-female bands, Fanny. They were so great! June Millington could shred! I felt bewildered when I would hear snide remarks wondering if Todd was sleeping with one of them. I thought to myself that would have never been said or thought if they weren’t women.

The bottom line is preference. We all have a choice. And we all can be whatever we want. We can wear many hats. I see myself as a mother, wife, musician, singer, songwriter, writer, mentor, animal lover… many different things. What I do in my spare time is how I make my soul happy. Who I date is based on connections, fate and karma. We end up with who we’re meant to be with and the experiences we have are all meant to be. I’ve been with my husband Jim for twenty years now. Our 18th wedding anniversary is coming in August 2020. So, I’m writing this piece from the perspective of a wife, mother, working musician, writer and mentor. Not just a girl who had lots of suitors in her youth. Every single little thing is part of the journey.

The first time I saw a photo in Rolling Stone of what they called a “groupie”, I was 15 years old and in the 10th grade. It was 1969, and neither the image nor the word was at all something ugly to me. It just seemed exciting and cool. The girls were so outrageously dressed, and it reflected an almost innocent charm. I didn’t aspire to be a groupie but they seemed like they were the ones who made the guys in the band cool. They helped dress them, created make-up looks and spread the word all over town about how good they were. It didn’t seem to be so much about sex and backstage antics. Maybe I was too young to fully understand everything, especially from the pages of a magazine.

On my first trip to LA with Todd in 1973, when I finally did meet some real girls who liked to be called groupies, it still didn’t seem derogatory. I started to see how it was all just tossed together in some people’s minds. It’s a complex dance between an artist and his muse. None of it is something so vulgar or tainted as being only about sexual conquest. Maybe to some, it’s about that. But for me it was a series of fated encounters that have lasted throughout my life.

Some people see a groupie as a girl who will do anything, including have sex with a roadie, to get to the band. There is that element to the rock n’ roll lifestyle. But it’s not the entire package. Others see groupies as a vibe, the girls who are there when the band makes it, the girls that helped them make it, the on-the-road bestie, or the girls who get the bands drugs and food. Or even give them the clothes off their backs if the band is short a cool stage look. I often joke that that’s how wearing your lingerie out became a signature rock girl look- the band had taken her clothes to wear onstage!

I recall reading where Pamela Des Barres said she was still a virgin when she first discovered her teenage heart being drawn to rock boys. It felt sexual to her and it was also just youthful and sweet. Not a salacious sexual quest. More a desire to be near the music and the men who made it. That’s perhaps what one would define as a “classic groupie”. Or, in some circles, “fan” is the preferred analogy. I can relate to that myself as I knew when I was ten years old, I would hang out with Mick Jagger one day. I knew those were my people… my kind.

Pamela has made a career out of her life as a proud groupie. But certainly she has a right to claim the term because she helped invent it! She now calls it her “groupie heart” and that is something anyone who’s ever had a crush on someone or loved someone’s music so much that it altered your DNA can relate to. Hasn’t everyone felt that way? Every guy or gal who picks up a guitar or slings a mic stand had to have been dazzled by their inspiration or felt a need to pursue that for their own futures. So, my point is this- none of it is negative nor should one word hold so much power that when it’s flung at a woman, she’ll feel shamed or scorned.

When I started to get a bit of fame, the media seemed to want to call me anything but “groupie”. It was “Friend Of The Stars”, “Queen Of The Rock Chicks”, “Leggy Model”, “The Mother Of All Rock Chicks”, “It Girl”… so when the internet entered our lives, I began to see just how judgmental and downright mean people were about the women who hung out with the bands. It started to become something so dirty and taboo that I wanted no part of that term. It’s a thin line, a hard one to walk. Personally, I feel loving music and being attracted to musicians is as natural as doctors and nurses getting along. Humans are drawn to their soul tribe. Music, musicians and all art forms attract me. I’m the moth to that flame.

As an entertainer myself, it always hurt me when what I actually do for my job was ignored or not taken seriously because of the famous names I’ve been attached to. It’s so one-sided to only put that burden on women. It has been the norm for men to be patted on the back and admired for their taste in women and especially if they were able to appeal to many and have tons of sexual experiences. Even in the animal kingdom, the male peacock has the massive plume bloom to attract as many lovers as he can. A male lion can rule the pride with his sexual domination. A male celebrity only becomes more famous if he’s got a beautiful model or actress on his arm. Whereas a woman who’s dance card is busy or even full is often ridiculed or bashed. Branded with the scarlet letter of infamy.

It started to get under my skin when I saw myself defined only by who I’d dated or had close friendships with. It’s the luck of the draw. Some women who are in the public eye can date and marry a celeb several times and be embraced for it. They use it to further their already visible life. They are proud and exploit all their lovers as the playthings that they’ve become. Some have become famous by leaking a porno or being on a reality show. What was once a limited field has become wide open with lots of branches of thought and assumption. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy for me to fight for my image… my persona… my legacy. But I did fight. I turned down almost every request I was presented to be interviewed for groupie documentaries or sensationalized TV shows. Sometimes turning down large sums of money. But I wanted to work hard and felt if I worked hard enough one day I’d be thought of for what I did on a stage, in front of the lens of a camera, as a mother and at times even a manager, more than who I shared my life with. Dare I use the “R” word? I wanted RESPECT.

There’s lots of contrast in the definition of groupie or muse but what about “partners”… the duos who took the world by storm. Sonny & Cher, Karen & Richard Carpenter, Debbie Harry & Chris Stein, Jack & Meg White, Jane Birkin & Serge Gainsbourg, Stevie Nicks & Lindsey Buckingham, Annie Lennox & Dave Stewart, Kim Gordon & Thurston Moore, etc… Or Chrissie Hynde and Courtney Love, who both married musicians. There’s a kaleidoscope of ways women are seen. It all depends on how you are first perceived. The general public seem to hold on to how they first heard of you even if you go on to do many different things in your life. Marianne Faithfull is a perfect example of someone who has been able to transcend her detractors and carry on like the warrior she is. But it baffles my mind how anyone could call her or Anita Pallenberg anything but tastemakers and trendsetters. They were the women I would stare at for hours as a young girl. They fascinated me almost more than the guys they hung out with. Yet I still hear them sometimes referred to as groupies.

Like any entertainer, I have an overwhelming need to be loved and to give love and positive energy to others. That’s why I crave being onstage. The connection with the audience is almost like having the best sex in the world. Or at minimum, a great, soulful hug that sends sparks through your body. I’ve been doing this since 1980, in public anyway. This is my life… not the talented, special men I dated in my youth. That’s part of my story and I will never regret a single heartbreak nor will I ever regret loving to the point of forgetting myself and my own pursuits. But I want to be remembered for more than my dates or suitors. I gave birth to a child who grew up to become a superstar so the role of nurturer has followed me throughout my life. I’ve accepted the fact that my fate is to be a vessel for talent and to enrich those who possess it. It’s become who I am- all the parts and pieces of my karma rolled into one big bang! My artistic side occupies just as much space as my musing side- equal parts love and creative energy.

Things come full circle especially when I get approached after one of my shows by young girls that call me “High Priestress” or tell me that they are my “groupies”. When I hear the words “Bebe, Im your biggest groupie!”, my heart swells but I also like to immediately remind them that I do what I do onstage because of them. Because of the exchange being a performer gives to my being. It’s like fuel… hors d’oeuvres for the soul.

One morning in 2009, I got a call from an old industry friend who had landed at Interscope Records. I was awoken with, “Bebe, you’ve been touted in a song produced by Pharrell Williams called ‘Bebe Buell’ by a young band from Boston called Chester French.” I remember thinking “wow, that’s a nice compliment” because the gist of the song was that someone like me or Pamela Anderson Lee were the creme de la creme of rock-boy desire. There’s a clothing line called ‘Muse & Lyrics‘ that has a blouse/top called “The Bebe” and the brand ‘I’m With The Band’ has named their leopard scarfs and headbands the “Bebe”. There’s even a cocktail called “The Bebe Buell”.

But I think one of the coolest things was having Cameron Crowe name the lead singer in Stillwater Jeff Bebe. He gave me the original T-shirt that was used in the movie, too, and boy do I treasure it! Cameron sprinkled all kinds of little clues and messages throughout Almost Famous. I was especially touched by the Jeff Bebe nod because he knew how much I wanted to be a singer in a band. I remember him once saying to me that I should just go for it. At that point, people only knew me as a model and Todd Rundgren’s girlfriend. I hadn’t even done Playboy yet, so I was still trying to figure out who I was and how to do it. I finally did but it took me six more years to get in the studio and front a band!

It’s moving to be honored and it’s also nice to be appreciated by the younger generation of pop culture lovers. The first time my name was in a song, I was excited by it. My old friend G.E. Smith had a line on his solo album that was about coming to visit “Bebe and Liz”… he came over to my best friend Liz Derringer’s house to play it for us. We were elated… it was cool. I would never be so bold as to sit here and make a list of my lovers or the songs they wrote for me because it seems so long ago. I’d rather leave that up to the fans of the music to decipher and besides not all songs written for others are acknowledged as such. I’ve had several songs given to me as gifts or written to me in letters.

Sometimes the authors don’t admit it because their feelings change and they don’t want to upset their new love interest. Didn’t Bob Dylan write “Leopard Skin Pill Box Hat”, “Just Like A Woman”, “Fourth Time Around” and “Like A Rolling Stone” about Edie Sedgwick, only to later deny it? I know the feeling because it’s happened to me. So, at this point in my life, I just cherish the letters (yes, I still have them so one day when we’re all gone they will maybe solve the puzzles) and I respect and allow artistic license to have its day. It’s an artist’s prerogative to change their minds so I hold no hurt feelings. Music buffs are pretty smart anyway and they usually know the truth, so it matters little unless it’s blatant. The one topic that irks me is that I claimed This Year’s Model was about me. Well, that’s impossible because I didn’t meet and start to date Elvis Costello until he was well into Armed Forces. I was living with him in London when he recorded it in the fall of 1978. He included a couple of lyrics from songs on Armed Forces in letters to me but I can say with certainty that “Party Girl” wasn’t one of them. I guess it was the timing of the release that made people speculate I was the subject, but I wasn’t and never claimed to be. He didn’t even know me when he wrote those records. Why this is disputed has always been a mystery to me. The songs Mr. Costello sent me in letters were from later albums, starting with Get Happy. I will always wonder too why he would say something so false and perpetuate a rumor twenty years later in the liner notes of a re-issue. Here’s to hoping it is finally put to rest. And even with the shame and pain I felt at the time, I feel no regret or ill will toward anyone. To me the truth is pretty obvious. Remember the story I told earlier about Catherine The Great? Revenge is often used when hearts are hurt, and it is very common in the entertainment industry.

In summing up my thoughts on the topic, I feel it’s time in our culture to appreciate the roles women have played in art since the beginning of time. Dali had his Gala, Picasso would hide the initials of his mistresses in his paintings and secretly tell them so they would know it was for them, Clapton immortalized his love and lust for Patti Boyd with the ultimate ode in “Layla” and John Lennon may have written the most beautiful love song of all for Yoko in “Woman”. Or was it Paul McCartney with “The Long And Winding Road” about Jane Asher or “Maybe I’m Amazed” about the spectacular Linda Eastman McCartney?

We can’t leave out the spirited and unique George Sand whose given name was Aurore Dupin. She was born in Paris on July 1, 1804 and adopted the name “George” because women couldn’t write professionally with the freedom of men in those days. She became one of the most popular writers in Europe during her lifetime- one of the most notable writers of the European Romantic era. She would wear male attire in public saying it was easier and more affordable than women’s garb. She was a confidant to Franz Liszt and lover and muse to Chopin. She would lie beneath the piano while Chopin composed, saying it sent the music through her entire body instead of just her ears.

Music is primal and it gets into our bloodstream. It’s easy to see why young girls get crushes on their idols and some even grow up to marry their dream man. But the days of defining women by their sexual desires or “conquests” should be on the wane. I never looked at the men I dated or loved as conquests. Humans aren’t territories to be battled over or ceded to. The human connection is divine. Each and every person we cross paths with is part of our magical life story. So, whatever you identify yourself as is fine. That is your privilege and judgement should not follow even if the choices aren’t the norm. As Oscar Wilde said, “Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.”

*Closing side note* As I was finishing this essay, I was doodling with a People magazine crossword puzzle and one of the clues was “GROUPIE”. Guess what the answer was… “FAN”. The timing was uncanny!

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onebloodsoakedlion · 4 years

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Abandoned!Conquest Ryoma in Fodlan - Part 2

The Black Eagles were a real enigma. The house was quite diverse in personality. And having a leader with rather strange ideals was just the cherry on top.

But one thing Ryoma noticed was that the Black Eagles had one less student than everyone else. While the Golden Deer and Blue Lions had eight students, the Black Eagles only had seven. Ryoma decided to query Edelgard on this matter. “Well, yes, we do have eight students. It’s just that one of them is too timid to show her face.” “Well, who is this elusive student?” “A small, purple-haired girl by the name of Bernadetta,” Edelgard replied, “But she’s such a recluse, I don’t think she wants to see you. She’d rather be left alone.” “Like hell, Edelgard,” Ryoma laughed back, “How do you know she’s not scared of me? Even the most skittish cats can find a human that they can warm up to.” “Okay then, if you insist, Ryoma,” Edelgard replied, pulling out a map, “This is Bernadetta’s room, where you’re most likely to find him. Good. Luck.”

Bernadetta, of course, was hiding in her bedroom, quietly writing. A loud, hard knock sent an electric shock through the poor girl, causing her to accidently mark the page. She turned to the door and let out a nervous “Who is it?” “It’s... um... well... someone from another world,” Ryoma struggled to get out, “If you’d been there when I first came here, you’d know all about me.” “What are you doing here,” Bernadetta exclaimed, “Have you come to kill me!?” “What!? No,” Ryoma replied, rather shocked, “Why would I do that? I’ve just come to your room because you were the missing Black Eagle. I wanted to see you too.” “Okay, well you’ve met me, now please leave,” Bernadetta replied. At this point Ryoma would’ve respected Bernadetta’s request and left. But he had seen her SOUL, scanned her variables... Her SOUL trait was Creativity, nothing new, But it was cracked, moreso than Dimitri’s. Ryoma had seen her Bio, and her “Dislikes” were pretty alarming. Speaking to people, imposing figures and overbearing fathers. Overbearing fathers!? Was she abused? Ryoma HAD to find out. “Oh I don’t think so,” Ryoma chuckled, “I’d like to really see you. To really get to know you. Just as I’ve been able to see and know everyone else.” “No, please,” Bernadetta cried out, rushing to lock the door, “You can’t do this! You can’t invade my room like this! Leave me alone!” Suddenly, the door seemed to unlocked itself. It swung open, to reveal Ryoma, who wiggled his index finger in front of her, which seemed to have a beast’s claw attached to it. “I see you’ve noticed my little claw. These tiny daggers are useful for so many different things, especially lockpicking. They even make decent weapons, but I don’t feel like using them on you...” Bernadetta couldn’t even scream at the Hoshidan King. She shook like a leaf, sweating and pale, “Please don’t hurt me...” she barely manage to squeak out before falling to the floor. “Oh shit...” Ryoma sighed to himself, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a cat faint in fear like that before...”

Bernadetta found herself lying on her bed. But something wasn’t quite right. She felt... something... pressing up and down on her abdomen. She looked up to find a rather large cat, covered in red fur and with a mane of brown hair not to dissimilar to Ryoma’s, purring loudly whilst kneading her belly. She nervously reached out to pat the feline on the head. He responded by looking up at her and saying “Oh, you’re awake.” “What,” Bernadetta screamed, “You’re sound like that man... who came into my room.” “I am him,” Ryoma replied, “You fainted when I was talking about my claws, so I put you on your bed and turned into a cat so I could calm you down. Turns out it was a good idea since you like animals so much.” “Why are you here,” Bernadetta groaned. “At first,” Ryoma replied, “I just wanted to know you. But now, after witnessing how timid you are, I think you need some help. Emotional help. I’ve never seen a human, or even a cat, this timid before. What you need, is someone to hang around and keep you safe, like a guardian of sorts. And what better guardian for you than a cat that rubs himself against your legs and purrs in the most insistent manner?” He burrowed his head into the girl’s chest and continued to purr. Bernadetta could only continue to pat the polymorphic creature. His fur was oddly soft...

“Hello there, Bernadetta,” Hubert said in his usual, monotone voice. “AAAAH,” Bernadetta screamed, “OH GODS! THERE’S A MONSTER! IT’S COME TO KILL ME!” Ryoma pushed himself inbetween Bernadetta and the creepy Hubert, arched his back, puffed out his tail and let out a loud, sharp hiss. “The hell is WRONG with you,” Ryoma yowled, “Bernadetta has a problem! Don’t sneak up on her like some sort of shadow monster!” “Ryoma, is that you,” Hubert replied with a chuckle, “What happened to you.” Ryoma’s tail swished from side to side, “I turned myself into a cat. So what? Give Bernadetta some space.” He turned around and rubbed against the girl’s legs and brushed her hand with his tail. He turned to the creepy man of little childrens’ nightmares, “Look, I don’t know why she’s like this, but I’m gonna have to get to the bottom of it. Now leave her be.” Shocked, Hubert had no choice but to back off.

Ryoma would accompany Bernadetta in feline form whenever she had to leave her room. It got so time-consuming that Ryoma had to time travel in order to meet any of the others. But within weeks he could sense improvement within the girl. Sometimes, when Ryoma was parked up in her room, he would hear her talking to herself about her father. In fact, Ryoma had read one of her stories about her father while she was asleep. The one Ryoma found was a horror story about a little girl whose father was secretly an ancient demon, who, after giving birth to her, wanted to warp and twist her soul, so that when she was married off, she would curse her husband, take his soul, and give it to the demon. Ryoma was so disgusted, he decided something had to be done.

It was now the school holidays, and by now Bernadetta had warmed up to Ryoma enough for him to remain in human form, which had made her look up to him as a guardian angel of sorts. Ryoma had decided that today was the best day to sort things out. “I feel like taking us on an adventure,” Ryoma blurted out, trying to think, “I wanna let you see the things that you’ve missed out on, cooped up in your room like that.” “A-Are you sure that’s a good idea,” Bernadetta stammered, “I’ve never been outside the monastery for a while, outside of the occasional battle...” “I’ll protect you,” Ryoma reassured the child, “You should know that by now. And we’re not just gonna walk there, we’ll teleport!”

Ryoma took Bernadetta through numerous areas of Fodlan, and even out of Fodlan, including Nohr and Hoshido in his own timeline. Bernadetta was quite frightened by the unfamilliar sights at first, but eventually came to enjoy the experience. Ryoma was hoping that this would prepare her mentally for the confrontation that lay ahead.

“Wow, I can’t believe that all this exists! I need to go outside more often!” “Well yes,” Ryoma replied, “And we have just one more place to visit! You ready?” “Okay,” Bernadetta affirmed as Ryoma opened the portal. And she got quite a shock, as she stood in front of an all too familiar mansion. “Oh no. Why did you bring me here! WHY HERE!?” “Bernadetta, I’ve heard some... stories... about your father. You know how I said I would protect you? Well, I wanna do something to help you in the long run. And that means giving your worst nightmare a real talking-to.” Bernadetta cowered and backed off, “Well you do that then! I’m staying right here!” Ryoma grabbed her hand, carefully but firmly, “Don’t you want to see me slay the beast? What if you have something to say to it? Some last words to your nightmares before they are finally dispelled?” Bernadetta reluctantly agreed. Ryoma knocked on the doors, while Bernadetta hid in his mane. A middle-aged man appeared, with purple hair similar to his daughter, with an odd resembelance to one of the most evil people in the Puppeteers’ world, one who was rumoured to have killed many people - most of whom were from a group referred to as the “Jews”. And despite Ryoma being a whole head taller than this man, he seemed to be looking down on the Hoshidan King. “Who are you and what do you want?” “I am a member of the Garreg Mach staff,” Ryoma took a breath and calmly replied, “I have come to discuss a few matters regarding your daughter.” Count Varley was rather suspicious, but let Ryoma in anyway, completely unaware of the second person he had brought with him.

“What concerns do you have with my daughter” the man asked in a stone-cold voice. Ryoma’s sharp, feline ears picked up his muttering, “That good-for-nothing bitch...” “Excuse me,” Ryoma asked, barely able to believe even his powerful ears. He hoped his mind was playing tricks on him. “I said, what concerns do you have with my daughter,” the Count asked again, slightly irritated. “Well,” Ryoma began, “We’ve heard... some rumours going around, that you have abused your daughter. Is that true?” “Why I would never,” he angrily exclaimed, “Bernadetta must be telling lies! She’s always trying to get me into trouble, that naughty, impudend, unmarriageable wretch!” Bernadetta began to sob from behind Ryoma’s mane, catching Varley’s attention. “You... brought her with you?” Ryoma, coming up with another idea, drew the Rajinto, pulled Bernadetta out, and held her at katana-point, “Yes, I did. Now tell me the truth! Or she dies.” Bernadetta felt so utterly betrayed, she started sobbing. But Count Varley stood his ground, “You stupid buffoon! You’re just trying to bring down my good name!” And with that, Ryoma thrust his sword... into his left hand, “What!? You’d rather let your own daughter die than admit to hurting her!? What sort of heartless man are you!?” The blood from his hand did not fall to the ground, but instead bled into the blade of Rajinto, which reacted by delivering a small electrical pulse to the bleeding palm, cauterising the wound shut. And with that, the samurai released Bernadetta and sheathed his sword, before putting a hand on Bernadetta’s shoulder and whispering “Just kidding” into her ear, before lunging on the man and grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. “You have already proven to me, within five minutes, how much of an asshole you are, Count Varely,” Ryoma roared, “If you were TRULY innocent, you would be falsely confessing to abusing her and begging me to leave her alone! But no, you’d rather let her die to preserve your own name. How selfish of you. So... I have an offer you can’t refuse - confess to everything you’ve done to your daughter Bernadetta and tell me why. If you do, I’ll convince Lady Rhea to offer you special protection... If you don’t, I’ll beat you to death with my own bare hands, trash your legacy and smear your good name. And I WILL know if you lie to me... I can see it in your SOUL.” “Okay, fine,” the Count sighed, “Ever since I discovered that Bernadetta had a Crest... I decided that she would make a good wife for a rich husband, so I decided to train her from a young age with chores and whatnot.” “Bullshit,” Ryoma growled, tightening his grip around the Count’s neck and delivering an electrical shock down his spine.

Despite Ryoma’s methods of interrogation, Count Varley continued to hide the details. Ryoma could tell he was hiding something and in response, got more harsh in his threats. He threatened torture, he even dealt a blow or two until Count Varley finally realised that resistance was pointless. He confessed to everything, how he only saw Bernadetta as bait for a rich husband, how he tied her to a chair for hours to get her to be quiet. How he prevented her from having any friends, especially with commoners, how he scorned and mocked her when he felt she wasn’t good enough, how he even paid someone to beat the shit out of a little boy who Bernadetta had befriended, and that above all, his hopes were for Bernadetta to marry a filthy rich man so that HE would get some of the money. It was enough. Ryoma had heard everything. And he was pissed. “My GODS,” Ryoma exclaimed, “You tortured your daughter, all this time, JUST SO YOU COULD GET MONEY!?” He saw a vision of Shura, from a Birthright timeline. He had attacked the army of this timeline’s Corrin, Jozlyn, and tried to still Ryoma’s sword so he could sell it. He saw himself being incredibly pissed at Shura, saying he wanted to bury the pathetic little fucker in coin until he suffocated from all the gold. Though thankfully, Shura only wanted to survive and rebuild his town, and would’ve used the infinite money to do so, if it had been given to him. Shura knew his stuff - money would buy builders and building materials, and that would rebuild his homeland. But Count Varley was none of that. He didn’t have much need for money. He was already well-off, with a rather decent mansion that was well-dressed with luxurious-lookinh furniture and in near-pristine condition. Nothing said that Count Varley had some charitable cause or worthwhile project that needed any monetary funds. “Gods-fucking-damn,” Ryoma growled, shaking the man, “You are the most fucking selfish excuse for a person I’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting. You remember that deal I made? Well I take that back, because you are such a fucking asshole. I know what you’re feeling. You’re just sorry for youself. You don’t even want to make up for what you’ve done. You are beyond redemption.” Ryoma seemed to slap the bastard’s dumb face. It seemed like a weak move at first, until bright red lines appeared on the Count’s face mere seconds later. With claws unsheathed, tail puffed up and ears back, Ryoma let loose on Bernadetta’s abusive asshole of a father with a piercing yowl, using fists and claws interchangeably. A moment later, he suddenly stopped, letting the Count go, who ended up on his hands and knees, looking in fear at Ryoma. Who turned his head towards Bernadetta. “Would you like to... join in?” Bernadetta shook her head, too scared to move. “I promise you, it will be very satisfying.” Bernadetta looked at Ryoma, then at her “father”. “I wonder, does it feel better taking down your worst enemy yourself... or having someone else do it for you? Would you like to help me answer that question.” It was encouragement enough. Bernadetta reluctantly stepped forward, glaring at her father, then laid into him. She seemed weak at first, throwing meek little punches, which seemed like such a joke that the man slapped her in the face. The pain in her cheek and the spiteful glare in his face seemed to spark some resolve in Bernadetta. She tried again, this time, harder and with deliberate effort. She punched him in the nose, emitting a loud crackle as blood sprayed out. As he held his face in pain, she lowered herself to his level before delivering a sharp blow to the ribs, with a tight fist that had the middle finger slightly out. He was struggling to breathe and fell to his side, only to get a sharp kick in the stomach, and then the groin. He groaned in pain and rolled onto his back as she put her hands together and drove her elbow into his chest, before releasing a flurry of kicks to his side, making him roll over once again, onto his stomach, trying to shield himself from her furious kicks. He looked up at her just in time to see her holding her right fist in the air above her head with her left hand, before bringing it down upon his stupid, selfish head. He fell to his side. “Bernadetta - ” was all he managed to get out, before she kicked him once again in the stomach, forcing him onto his back, before kneeling down on him and releasing one final flurry of punches, as hard and fast as she could, until his brains spewed from his skull and his face was no longer recognisable.

Bernadatta pulled herself to her feet, staring at the body of her “father”, panting hard. “You done yet,” Ryoma asked. She nodded, and they walked out. She took one look behind her, and then stared at her bloodied hands. “Look, I dunno whether what we did was right,” Ryoma sighed, realising how much he had let his anger get to him, “But all I know is that pile of shit had it coming...” he looked at Bernadetta, “...and you’re free now. You no longer have to worry about him. He cannot hurt you anymore. You have displayed great courage by letting me help you confront him, and if anyone tries to hurt you, or your friends, you can do to them what you did to him.”

Bernadetta was still rather skittish, but she had been outside her room a lot more, and was definitely making attempts to interact with others. Ryoma had confessed to killing Count Varley, but was able to explain the truth using SOUL data as evidence. He ended up being slapped hard in the face for not letting Bernadetta have her revenge, only for it to be taken back when he admitted her part in the killing. But what satisfied Ryoma the most was seeing Bernadetta make an effort to move on and be the girl she would’ve been if not for the abuse she’d suffered. And Ryoma had realised... He had fixed someone. Not physically, but mentally, just as his sister and therapist FrostFire had done for him. And that was far more satisfying than killing Count Varely.

#Fire Emblem Fates #Abandoned Conquest #Fire Emblem Crossover #Ryoma #Bernadetta #Count Varley #mature #violence #gorewarning #violencewarning #Ryoma got to turn into a cat!#Fodlan #Werecat #child abuse #Bernadetta's dad needed to die change my mind

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islands-of-gay-deactivated · 3 years

Text

It’s A Start

In this plot, Brooke starts talking to her father again and they make up or something like that. This story will also tap into another head canon I have for Brooke that has not been talked about, so that will be explained later, most likely in a separate post.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She stared blankly at the piece of mail in her hands. She had no idea what the contents were, nor what was inscribed on the front. All she knew was that the letter was from her father. The man she had, up until recently, not spoken to for 48 years. She sighed and sliced it open, grabbing what appeared to be a letter from within the envelope. Written on the piece of paper was one sentence, which read ‘Meet me at the docks, 17:00, Nov. 14th’. One simple sentence that could change the last 48 years, for better or for worse. She raised an eyebrow at the message, unsure as to what he could possibly want. Most times when he needed something, he would go through one of her coworkers or siblings to get the info across. So for him to up and have a letter delivered to her house, which he did not have the address to, was rather suspicious. She looked at the time, ‘16:10’. She groaned at the sight of the clock. If she wanted to get there on time, she would have to leave at that moment, so that’s what she did. She threw on her coat and set off to meet her father at the docks, a place the two of them hadn’t been together in years.

Once arriving at the docks, she started to look around for her sperm donor, as she had been calling him around her sister. Brooke had no idea where she would find the man, but as she was looking around, she smacked into someone who was walking. She stumbled backwards, apologizing, not really looking up until a familiar voice spoke up.

“Long time no see, Brooklyn.” Her father said, voice mostly void of emotion. She frowned and stepped backwards.

“Likewise.” She said shortly. She was not looking forward to any conversation she would have with him. Mainly because the last time they actually spoke face to face, they had a blow up argument. They stood there in awkward silence before her father cleared his throat.

“Shall we walk?” He asked, sounding almost hopeful. All she did was nod as the two started walking.

They walked along the docks, past the cargo ships and farther into the archipelago, leaving Beckholmen and wandering into a park on Djurgården. It was a rather serene location, as the birds were chirping, the wind was blowing softly through the trees and the water birds were resting on a nearby pond. They stopped at the first bench that overlooked the pond, sitting down...on opposite sides of the bench. They sat in silence watching the world go by before her father spoke up once more.

“I’m sorry.”

Brooke stared blankly at her father, as she couldn’t believe what she just heard.

“What?” She asked, wanting clarification on what he said. He sighed and looked over at her.

“I said, I am sorry.” He reiterated. It looked like he was about to say more, but he held off as some joggers ran by. Brooke took the moment to speak instead.

“So, you are apologizing for what? Being an absent father? Leaving me alone with a psychopath? Choosing your boyfriend's affair baby over your actual blood? Allowing Elain to make me a weapon of war against my will?” She stated, scoffing.

“Brooklyn, I-”

“Nej, I am not done yet. To be honest, I am not sure why you are even bothering to apologize. It’s been 48 years. You chose your side by ignoring everything that Aaron had done to me. You chose your side long ago, when you would leave me with Lukas for long periods of time, or when you would let that devil woman whip Kalle and I for ‘not being good enough’, or my personal favorite, when you vanished for a year after the bloodbath. You left me all alone when I needed you most. You left me to Kalmar’s torture and went god knows where with Tino. Only damn issue is you forgot your children, ya know, the small humans you decided to raise? Although you didn’t raise us much. You left most of that to Lukas, who for as long as I’ve been around you all, has been more of a father then you have. He was there after the bloodbath to make sure I didn’t die after what Kalmar did to me. He was there when I would get hurt, or when I would need help. But where were you? No one knew. Not even Tino knew where you would run off to.”

“Fuck, you weren’t even around after we left the union. I would probably be more understanding if you even tried to make an effort after we left, but nope! You just pawned us off onto Elain who was almost as unavailable as you were.” She spat, trying her damned hardest to keep her composure, although it probably wouldn’t last much longer. “I tried...so hard, to get your approval, when it didn’t even matter. Why would it matter if you were never around? You weren’t around then, so why would you be around even if I was the perfect daughter. You never showed up to meetings, I had to jump through hoops just to get information from you and to make things worse, you married me off to the first man who showed any interest in me! It’s almost like you have purposefully avoided me since I was born.” She sighed. “So why, why now, almost 50 years later, have you decided to make up?”

“Because I regret the choice that I made. I realize that this most likely will not change anything, but I thought you should know. I regret choosing Aaron over you. I regret not listening to you when you tried to tell me about what he did. I should have listened, but I chose to ignore it for my own selfish wants. I regret not being around when you were growing up. It wasn’t right of me to force you onto Lukas nor was it right for me to just vanish like I had been doing. I will admit, I struggled after you were born. I was left alone with you after your mother ran off, with no support system as my family was back west and a job to try and keep up. Then there was the instance when I almost lost you, and I just couldn’t look at you after that. Every time I tried, I only saw your pale, cold face. It was traumatic to say the least, because at that time I had no idea if you were immortal or not. I know it’s not an excuse as to why I wasn’t around, but it played a part in it. I suppose I distanced myself from you in a subconscious attempt from getting close to you, for fear of losing you. I thought if I wasn’t around enough, and you did turn out to be more human, that I wouldn’t be as distraught if something happened. Unfortunately, that backfired on my part as my lack of being around seemed to push you into the danger I was trying to protect you from. I regret ever leaving you alone with Elain. I should have seen it early on that she saw you two as nothing more than tools for her conquests, but I was blind with power. I didn’t see what she was doing to you, the hurt she was causing and the harmful mentality she was instilling. I let Versailles marry you because I thought he could give you a better life. One better than what you would be able to achieve in our region. He promised me that you would be taken care of, and that no harm would come to you. However, knowing you, my hopes on that matter were not too high.”

“My deepest regret though, was leaving you with Kalmar. You’re right, I should have taken you and Kalle when I left, but you were in no traveling shape and Kalle wouldn’t leave your side. I was faced with a difficult decision, leave you and Kalle behind and go back to organize the revolution, or stay back and endure more years of suffering. I would have taken you, I truly would have, but after the bloodbath, you were in no shape to ride horseback for god knows how long. Your wounds were too deep and the motion of the horse would have caused the stitches to open up. That wasn’t something I was going to risk. And while it wasn’t the best choice in the long run, it was the best choice at the moment, as it let you heal up.” He said, sighing. “I never should have left you alone. Not with Lukas, not with Elain, most definitely not with Kalmar. I don’t expect this to fix our relationship, I don’t even expect you to accept it, but I would rather try late than never,”

Brooke shook her head and leaned back against the bench, looking up so he wouldn’t be able to see her cry.

“Well, you’re damn right about it not automatically fixing something, but I know it takes a lot for a man as prideful as you to admit when you’re wrong. You’ve got a long way to go in making it up to me, but….it’s a start.”

#hetalia #oc bio

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voyager-into-the-unknown · 4 years

Text

This is Part of a Plance fanfic series that I have been writing. Matt, Pidge, and Lance are going to play some Killbot Phantasm in this one.

Chapter 7: An Evening with the Holts

Lance and Pidge descended the staircase and returned to the dining room. Matt was there with the pizza, and Colleen had reheated the leftovers from lunch. After everyone settled down to eat dinner, there was a lengthy discussion of the Defenders project, most of it too technical for Lance to understand, but he still followed the gist of it. Pidge had taught him a great deal about science and technology over the years, so Lance wasn’t completely lost, and he was greatful for that fact.

There was also much reminiscing about their shared fondness for Shiro. Matt told stories of his involvement with the Rebellion, and Lance and Pidge told tales of the Paladins’ many adventures. Sam even had some interesting stories to tell about Pre-Kerebos space missions, and about life at the Garrison in Sam and Colleen’s younger days. Apparently when they were cadets, they knew of several different ways to sneak out of the Garrison Academy to have little mischievous escapades with their friends and not get caught.

“Oh, so that’s where Pidge gets it from,” said Matt, giving his sister a knowing look.

“Well, if you think of it, that’s how our adventures really got started,” Pidge replied. “I used to go out into the desert with the scanning equipment that I built in order to listen to top secret radio communication signals.”

“Which is illegal,” Sam added.

“Yeah, But Hunk and I caught her doing that one night.” Lance smirked.

“Oh, goodness! Did you turn her in?” Colleen asked.

“Of course not,” said Pidge. “Lance was always sneaking out of the dorms to go into town in search of pizza, girls, and astronauts, and not necessarily in that order. That’s probably what he was doing that night, am I right?”

Lance looked guiltily at her. “Well, yes, but I decided to follow you instead...”

Matt interrupted him, “And look where that led you.”

“We became Paladins of Voltron that night,” Pidge said.

“Oh. I was thinking more in terms of pizza, girls, and astronauts,” Matt said, and they laughed at his remark.

“Well, I am having pizza with these two lovely ladies and two genuine astronauts right now, so you can’t blame a man for living his dream,” Lance quipped. There was more laughter.

“That was the night of the U.F.O. crash. Shiro had returned to earth in a stolen Galra ship,” Pidge explained.

“Hunk wanted to go back inside before we got caught,” Lance added.

“But I wanted a closer look,” Pidge said.

“And I ran after her, of course. Hunk thought we were both insane, but he followed us anyway.”

“Hunk still thinks that both of you are insane,” Matt remarked. “But I’m glad he followed you. Someone had to keep you two out of trouble.”

“According to Shiro, that’s practically impossible,” Sam said with a chuckle.

Pidge smiled. “We actually met Shiro that night. Keith was trying to rescue him.”

“Hey, I was trying to rescue him too!” Lance said, unconvincingly. “Everything was going great until we all got on Keith’s hover bike and he drove us off the side of a cliff.”

Sam and Matt thought this was very funny.

“Who taught Keith how to drive that thing?” Matt asked.

“Shiro, of course!” Sam chortled.

Colleen looked horrified. “You all could have been killed!” She turned to her daughter. “Young lady, I should have grounded you even longer.”

After supper, Matt, Lance, and Pidge volunteered to clean up the dining room and feed Bae Bae while Sam was watching a favorite television program in the living room. Colleen went to check on the laundry. As they were finishing up, Pidge asked Matt if he wanted to play Killbot Phantasm with them.

“Neither of you has made it to level 36 yet, so you want my help, don’t you?” Matt asked, already knowing the answer.

“Maybe,” said Pidge.

When Pidge had finally convinced her brother to play the game with them, Lance grabbed the white bag from the sideboard and some cold drinks before following Pidge and Matt upstairs. He then helped Pidge set up the Mercury Gameflux II while Matt said in the chair by his sister’s desk.

“How many times have you two played that game?”

“Hundreds,” said Lance.

“You’ve had hundreds of video game dates with my sister? Alone in your room in your pajamas with my baby sister?”

“Matt—“ Pidge sounded annoyed.

“It was perfectly innocent,” Lance reassured him.

“Then why exactly do they call you Loverboy Lance? How many girls have you seduced in those Paladin Pajamas?” Matt asked.

“Matt, stop it!” Pidge was beginning to get really annoyed.

Just then, Colleen came upstairs with a basket of laundry.

“Matt, is this one of yours, sweetheart? Your father says it isn’t his.” She held up a light blue button-down dress shirt. Lance couldn’t hide his telltale blush.

“That’s Lance’s, Mom.” Pidge explained, a bit pink-cheeked. “There was a stain on it, so I put it in the wash for him.” Well, that wasn’t exactly a lie.

“Thanks, Mrs. Holt.” Lance said. He took off his sweater and began buttoning up his freshly-laundered shirt over his T-shirt. Colleen left, but not without raising her eyebrows and exchanging glances with Matt in such a way that said keep an eye on those two.

Matt looked at Katie’s bed. “Your covers are a bit wrinkled. What exactly were you two doing up here unchaperoned?”

“We had chaperones. Bae Bae and my trash nebula pets were with us.” The green and blue trash floofs trilled as if to affirm that statement.

“I was playing the guitar,” Lance said, pulling his sweater back on, “Pidge and I were singing a song that I’ve been working on.” Lance’s guitar was still leaning against one wall.

“Trying to serenade her, huh? Pretty slick. Loverboy is trying to put the moves on you, Katie.”

Pidge looked furious. “Matt, stop it! Lance wrote a song for me, and we were singing it together, and it was actually quite beautiful. Mom and Dad even came up here to listen and they loved it.”

“Okay, okay. Truce. I am sorry that you are so easy to tease.”

Pidge made a face at her brother, then turned to her boyfriend. “Lance, I hope you don’t have to deal with this sort of thing back home.”

“Well, I do have four older siblings instead of just one, so it’s actually much, much worse,” Lance confessed.

Matt cackled. “Well, that makes me look forward to meeting my future in-laws even more. When are you two getting married?”

Pidge glared at her brother. “I should have left you in space.”

“Yeah, But then you wouldn’t be getting these cheat codes. You are both up to level 34, right?”

Pidge sighed. “Yes.”

“Okay, well, you each get a turn to play against me. If I win, you have to answer a few very personal questions for me, and I will give you one of the codes as a reward.”

“Is this some kind of fiendish torture you learned as a Galra prisoner?” Pidge asked.

Lance moaned. “He’s worse than Veronica.”

Matt grimaced like the maniacal host of Garfle Warfle Snick. “Let the game begin!”

Pidge went first. There were some very intense moments in which she nearly beat her brother, and Lance cheered her on the entire time. In the end, however, Matt won. Pidge groaned.

Matt grimaced. “Okay, it is my understanding that you have owned those two fuzzy trash parasites since you were fifteen years old, but you have never revealed their names to anyone. My question is this: what are the secret names of your two trash nebula pets?”

Pidge covered her face. “No, Matt.” She was blushing.

“I’ve actually been wondering about that myself,” Lance admitted.

“Answer the question if you want those cheat codes.”

“Fine. The green one is named Pidgeon.”

“You named a trash parasite after yourself?” Lance couldn’t contain his laughter. “I’m beginning to like this game.”

“But what’s the blue one’s name?” Matt insisted.

“Let’s play another round.”

“Answer the question, Pidge. You want to get to level 36, don’t you?”

She sighed. “Okay, fine. His name is....” She would not make eye contact with either of them. “Lancelot.”

Lance and Matt erupted in a fit of laughter. Lance wiped away a tear, “Aw...that’s so sweet...I’ve never had a garbage poof named after me before.”

“Garbage poof?!” Matt laughed so hard that he nearly fell off of his chair.

“Hey! He’s a cute little garbage poof,” said Lance, giving the creature a little pat. It trilled happily.

“I hate you both.”

“And we both know that’s not true. Your turn, Loverboy.”

Matt made quick and easy work out of beating Lance, much to his embarrassment. But Lance dreaded what came next even more.

“Okay. Your question is this: what exactly are your intentions toward my little sister? Because if you are trying to seduce her and make her just another one of your conquests...”

“Matt, stop it! You have gone to far!”

“No, I’ll answer the question.” Lance said. “First of all, Even though I have flirted with a lot of girls, I don’t have any ‘conquests’ to speak of, and I have never thought of women in such a degrading way. Secondly, Pidge and I have been Paladins and best friends for three years, and I have the highest amount of love and respect for her.” Pidge smiled at him proudly. “Thirdly, both of us are in our first serious relationship, but we know that we are totally committed to each other and have even discussed our future together. A future that will hopefully include marriage and a children of our own, who I am sorry to say, won’t be named Pidgeon or Lancelot.” Pidge began to smirk. Matt was having a hard time keeping a straight face.

“I don’t think we’ll name any of them Kaltenecker either.” was Pidge’s deadpan addition.

“Aw, I thought Lance Kaltenecker McClain, Jr. would make a great name for our first child.”

“Sorry to disappoint you,” Pidge said before she finally collapsed in a fit of giggles.

Matt roared with laughter. He gave them all of the cheat codes after that.

Then Matt was finally silent, smiling to himself as they made it to level 36 to beat the final boss. They took on the challenge together, working together exactly as Paladins of Voltron should. As when operating the giant mecha’s right and left arm, the sword and shield of Voltron, they were unbeatable. When it was over, they high-fived each other.

“Team Plance does it again!” Lance kissed her.

Matt cheered. “We should celebrate.”

“I have already thought of that.” Lance said as he opened the white bag.

“Peanut butter cookies! I knew it!” Pidge exclaimed.

“Hunk’s special recipe.”

“I owe you both an apology,” Matt admitted. “I was just being an overprotective big brother, and I was really wrong about you, Lance.”

“No hard feelings. If I had a little sister as awesome as yours I would probably be overprotective as well.”

“A toast, then, to the garbage poofs! Or maybe to my sister and future-brother-in-law!” Matt proclaimed. “Here’s to Pidgeon and Lancelot!”

They clinked their bottles together, and then Pidge said, “We are definitely naming one of them after you.”

“One of your future kids?” Matt asked, flattered.

“No, the next garbage poof I decide to adopt.”

Lance nearly choked on his peanut butter cookie.

#plance #pidge #lance #matt holt #katie holt #colleen holt #sam holt #lance mcclain #voltron #vld #plance fic #plance fanfic

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ts1989fanatic · 5 years

Text

A more in depth personal review of Lover, the album dropped last week and because I had issues downloading it from iTunes (what else is new) I did not really have time for anything other than a cursory listen before heading to bed.

So now a week has past and I have had more than a few listens (who am I kidding) a hella lot more than a few, my wife and I went on a road trip Sunday 250 Blissful Kilometers of just me and my Lovers.

Still a little haunted by Soon You’ll Get Better I was very emotional after listening to this song and still am truth be told, almost everyone has that person in their life who has been touched by cancer. And just like Taylor when it’s someone close to you like a parent or a Lover it’s downright terrifying.

Lover the parent as opposed to Lover the child (more on her later) is a more mature in control Taylor Swift bringing us the wild abandon of Red’s lay it all out on the floor with the sonic cohesion achieved with 1989.

To me Lover nods in passing to reputation, but as I listen to the album in more depth it to me is a continuation of where Taylor was heading after 1989, it still holds a little shade in the finger snapping I forgot That You Existed a song all about as Taylor herself has said letting go and stepping into the daylight don’t confront the haters and exes just be indifferent to them it’s a lot less toxic.

If there is one consistency on Lover, though: it’s Taylor’s love for, love. The entire album is predominantly romantic and seems to track the timeline of a relationship, from its beginnings to the final realization that the situation is serious. Taylor leaves it up to us the listener to theorize that Lover is about her relationship with Joe Alwyn.

There’s nothing on Lover that mentions him directly but there is more than enough within the lyrics on various songs to speculate. Half the fun of being a Swiftie is coming up with theories, you have your opinions I have mine. So go through the track by track list below and decide for yourself what song is about who.

“I Forgot That You Existed”

Taylor starts Lover not with a love song, but a song in which Taylor Swift seems to have moved past the drama on “I Forgot You Existed.” Who it is heavily speculated on that this song is about CH, is it only Taylor herself really knows. Looking at the lyrics it could also be about any of her exes that did not end the relationship on the best of terms.

“How many days did I spend thinking about how you did me wrong?” “I lived in the shade you were throwing till all of my sunshine was gone.” Then in the chorus she declares, “I forgot that you existed, and I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t the meaning behind this song for me? Taylor has shed the snakeskin from the reputation era and is has moved on not with hate or anger JUST INDIFFERENCE

“Cruel Summer”

Those early flirtatious sometimes tumultuous stages early on in a new relationship. “It’s new, the shape of your body. It’s blue, the feeling I’ve got,” “It’s cool, that’s what I tell him. No rules…. We say we’ll just screw it up. In these trying times, we’re not trying.” This speaks to the drama that can happen in any new relationship before things stabilize and you can think about introducing them to friends and family.

“Lover”

To me this song and video are a throwback to the 70’s era country songs about love that I grew up on and after listening to Keith Urban cover it live you can see how it would be a smash on country radio stations. These lyrics cry out COUNTRY to me.

“Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?” she sings later on. “Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close? ’ve loved you three summers. Now, honey, I want ’em all.”

“The Man”

Not a love story, here, on “The Man.” Here more of a social commentary on society in general and the gender bias that still exist today despite the best efforts of a lot of WOKE people.

Taylor highlights how her career and reputation would have played out in the media if she were born a man rather than being named after one.

“Every conquest I made would make me more of a boss to you,” “I’d be just like Leo in Saint Tropez.”

“They wouldn’t shake their heads and question how much of this I deserve, what I was wearing, if I was rude…. If I was a man, I’d be the man.”

“The Man” is one of the boppiest bop on Lover and deserves to be the next single.

“The Archer”

On “The Archer,” Taylor finds herself questioning her situation with her partner. Is it the real? How long will it last? These are relatable questions most of us ask once the honeymoon phase of a relationship draws to a close. “They see right through me. Can you see right through me?” Taylor sings. “Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?”

“I Think He Knows”

By the time Taylor reaches this song,” She has answered that question: she wants her new relationship to work, and she’s not afraid to say so. “I think he knows when we get all alone, he’ll want me to stay,” “I think he knows he better lock it down, or I won’t stick around” cause good ones never wait.”

“Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince”

Some see this as a love song, personally I see it more as a protest song, Taylor has become much more political and outspoken on the issues since Trump took office this is an “us against the administration” mind-set. At first listen it may not sound like a protest song, but to me and I follow US politics very closely it certainly speaks to what has happened over the last few years.

When the White House responds to a song then I think you can safely say DAMN STRAIGHT it’s a protest song. Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince is not a Rage Against The Machine protest song, it’s a song full of metaphors and because of this it draws you in and makes you listen closely and get behind and beneath the symbolism.

“American glory Faded before me now I’m feeling Hopless”

“Paper Rings”

Taylor joking about marrying her lover one day or is she joking. “I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings. That’s right, darling. You’re the one I want,” definitely a love song about a serious relationship, does it mean Taylor and Joe are engaged (not according to Tree)

“Cornelia Street”

“Cornelia Street” is when our story takes a dramatic turn. It’s important to know that, at one point, Taylor rented a carriage house on Cornelia Street in New York City while her place was being renovated. The lyrics of this song suggest Taylor associates Cornelia Street with a relationship getting more intense.

“I hope I never lose you. Hope it never ends. I never want Cornelia Street again,” “That’s the kind of heartbreak time could never mend.”

“Death by a Thousand Cuts”

This comes through as a breakup song, but a breakup with who not Joe from all appearances, possibly to a past relationship. “I get drunk, but it’s not enough, ’cause the morning comes and you’re not my baby,” Taylor sings shortly after saying, “Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts.

"I look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up” and “You said it was a great love, one for the ages. But if this story’s over, why am I still writing pages?”

“London Boy”

With a Cat’s co-star cameo from Idris Elba, Taylor is back to singing about love of a guy and a city, not with great accuracy I might add as an ex-pat who lived and worked in London for ten years. But hey she’s a writer and allowed poetic license.

“Something happened, I heard him laughing. I saw the dimples, first, and then I heard the accent,” “They say home is where the heart is, but that’s not where mine lives. You know I love a London boy.”

“Soon You’ll Get Better” (featuring Dixie Chicks)

Sorry for the language but this song fucked me up, Still a little haunted by it. I was very emotional after listening to this song and still am truth be told, almost everyone has that person in their life who has been touched by cancer. And just like Taylor when it’s someone close to you like a parent or a Lover it’s downright terrifying. I lost my mother to cancer my father in law to cancer and the love of my life has been diagnosed three times twice benign once malignant (God that’s an ugly word)

“In doctor’s office lighting, I didn’t tell you I was scared,” “Soon you’ll get better. You’ll get better soon, ’cause you have to.”

If I am honest here I really want to fast forward past this song but it’s so emotional and raw that I find myself having to listen to it over again.

“False God”

On “False God,” Taylor recognizes the issues that can lead to the breakup as in “Death by a Thousand Cuts.”

“I know heaven’s a thing. I go there when you touch me. Hell is when I fight with you,” “But we can patch it up good.” She doesn’t dig any deeper here, though. That comes later.

“You Need to Calm Down”

After the backlash Taylor faced from 2016 she found her voice not just in speaking out about equality but encapsulating it into her music. YNTCD is a synth heavy pop bop that calls out Internet Trolls and boldly champions the LGBTQ community, franklt it’s a fucking bop with a message and both my wife and love it.

“Say it in the street, that’s a knock-out” “But you say it in a Tweet that’s a cop-out” (advice to live by Mr. President)

“Afterglow”

“Afterglow” Is an apology song.” Here Taylor opens up about how a relationship can implode with a partner and the role her own behaviour played in it imploding. “I blew things out of proportion, now you’re blue,” she sings. “I put you in jail for something you didn’t do…. Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves.” “Why’d I have to break what I love so much? It’s on your face, and I’m to blame,” “Hey, it’s on me in my head. I’m the one who burned this down, but it’s not what I meant. Sorry that I hurt you.”

“Me!” (featuring Brendon Urie of Panic! at the Disco)

A tongue-in-cheek, extension of “Afterglow.”here Taylor can laugh about the drama. Not only that but she own up to her faults on this song, Taylor lays out that it’s those faults that make her the perfect match for someone.

“I know that I went psycho on the phone. I never leave well enough alone. And trouble’s gonna follow where I go,” “Afterglow.” “Baby doll, when it comes to a lover. I promise that you’ll never find another like me.”

“It’s Nice to Have a Friend”

A lot of the theories I have seen about this one revolve around her relationship with Joe “Church bells ring. Carry me home. Rice on the ground, looks like snow.” It certainly sounds like they might be gearing up for that next step. But I don’t read this the same way, it reads more like a first love narrative.

“Sidewalk chalk covered in snow lost my gloves, you gave me one” “Twenty questions, we tell the truth”

“Daylight”

A dreamy romantic song that is filled with words one would say on their wedding day or just after getting married. They sound a lot like vows. “I don’t want to look at anything else now that I saw you. I don’t want to think of anything else now that I’ve thought of you. I’ve been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night, and now I see daylight.”

Taylor says “I want to be defined by the things that I love. Not the things I hate. Not the things I’m afraid of, or the things that haunt me in the middle of the night. I just think that you are what you love.”

This is Taylor Swift at her ultimate best, crafting lyrics that we can all relate to at whatever stage of your relationship you are in. This is Speak Now and Fearless Taylor all grown up but still crafting a story of life with her lyrics in her own unique way.

Where reputation was dark and moody even though in my opinion still a very relatable album, who has never faced criticism and wished that they had the skills heart and wit to respond as Taylor did, Lover is all vivid colors and predominantly bright and cheerful music with certain exceptions this is Taylor in full flow and form. Taylor the story teller Taylor the lyrical master Taylor the ARTIST.

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leisurelypanda · 5 years

Text

The Blood Price

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18479044

@mom---nicole @frostbitebakery @stuckysheart

[Y/N] had her servant girl knock at the door of the enormous castle. It was a strange place to have such a residence. The Scottish countryside was lovely, she supposed, but it was just so far away from everything. London was hundreds of miles away from this place and Glasgow was hardly a center of civilization. However, after the passing of her dear late(est) husband, Viscount Pulteney, [Y/N] was in need of a new spouse, as a single woman was easily manipulated and held little political clout.

Viscount Pulteney was, in fact, her fourth husband, and the second to have been a Viscount. The other two had been Barons, but they had all been elderly. The first had actually been arranged by her father, himself a minor baron. Her first husband had been elderly and without an heir and hoped that a young woman would provide the means of producing another. Instead, he’d died a month into their marriage having failed (entirely on his own) to… rise to the occasion. With no siblings and no heirs, [Y/N] managed to secure the family funds.

So passed her adulthood. She arranged one marriage after another, climbing ever higher until she’d married a wealthy Viscount. He, too, had died, and now, she was scoping out her newest target. It was the only reason she’d come so far north. It was technically autumn, but here, the snows had already arrived. She gathered her fur coat around her.

Earl Rogers, of Brooklynshire. His father had been a rather successful businessman, shrewd with money, and protective of his son. Steven Rogers, the current Earl, had made few appearances in court. The only things that were known about him was that he was wealthy enough to live in the family’s second castle in Balmoral, Scotland and run the business from there and that he was famously handsome, if the rumors from his single excursion into society could be believed.

[Y/N] hoped that that was the case. If she could secure a husband who was both handsome and wealthy, it would make the brief amount of time that she would be his wife… enjoyable at least. Who knows? Maybe after he met his untimely end, she would even play the part of his eternally bereft widow. She would certainly be wealthy enough.

Her servant girl returned looking confused. Her shoulders were hunched and she looked at the ground as she approached. [Y/N] pursed her lips.

“Beggin’ your pardon m’lady, but the steward says that the Earl is indisposed,” she reported. “He begs your forgiveness.”

[Y/N] narrowed her eyes as she looked at the castle. “Did he say how he was indisposed?” she asked.

“No, m’lady,” the girl replied.

“Hm…” [Y/N] replied. “Very well. We shall return overmorrow in the hopes that he has recovered.”

“As you say, m’lady,” the girl said.

“Get in and be quick. It is entirely too cold in Scotland,” [Y/N] said. Why anyone lived here was beyond her.

Two days later, she returned and made sure that her girl said that it was the Viscountess of Pulteney requesting an audience. She’d sent letters ahead of her, but received only polite replies. He had inherited his father’s shrewdness, that was certain. It would be a useful trait in a husband if she weren’t planning on his being around for much longer.

She was met with the same result, however. Her servant girl was turned away with nothing more than a nod. [Y/N] gripped her dress through her gloved hands. This was not how she had this would go. She was still a young woman. Perhaps older than the average bride, but that was hardly an obstacle, judging from her past conquests. She had been only 16 when her father had given her in marriage to her first husband. She had been 22 when she married her latest. She was hardly a spinster, but perhaps some would consider her to be nearly there.

She holed up in the local inn for three more days before she returned. The inn was filthy and reminded her of the area where she grew up. Her father had been barely more than a commoner and she hated the idea of being poor ever again.

It was already dark by the time she arrived back at the castle. This time, she accompanied her servant girl to the door. She shivered, but kept her back straight. She would have her audience with the Earl of Brooklynshire. She would not take no for an answer, not after coming all this way.

The door opened and an elderly man greeted them. He looked at the servant girl and nodded amiably at her before turning to her.

“Ah, I imagine you are the Viscountess I have heard so much about,” he said. His voice rasped with age. “Your persistence is admirable, my lady.”

“I have come seeking an audience with the Earl of Brooklynshire,” [Y/N] declared. “I have come a long way and I have heard many wonderful things about Balmoral. I was hoping for an expert perspective to act as my guide.”

“I see. In that case, allow me to escort you to the drawing room,” the steward replied. He opened the door and [Y/N] tightened her hand into a fist in triumph. A foot in the door. It was the first step. All she needed now was for the earl to make an appearance.

“I must apologize for making you wait, my lady,” the steward said. “My lord was regrettably indisposed for the past few days.”

“I do hope that he is feeling better,” [Y/N] replied gracefully. “These Scottish winters can be rather harsh, I imagine.”

“They are long, it is true,” he said. “However, my lord finds that he appreciates the tranquility of the winters here. The cellar is well stocked in preparation each year.”

“Well, that is certainly good to hear,” she replied with a smile. “One can never be too prepared.”

“My lord takes a similar view on such things,” the steward replied. He turned a corner and they arrived in a large room richly, but simply furnished around a large fireplace where a fire cracked and snapped. [Y/N] sat primly on a couch near the fire. “He will be with you shortly to escort you to dinner, my lady.”

“Thank you,” she said with a smile.

It would be a shame to make this kindly old man jobless, but she did not believe in unnecessary expenses and rather than keep on staff she didn’t know, it was entirely preferable to bring in her own people when she inherited new wealth. She relaxed into the back of the couch and stared into the fire, nearly salivating at the thought of having such a luxurious place to call home.

It was nearly two hours after the steward left and [Y/N] was getting impatient. Her stomach was starting to rumble and it was putting her out of sorts. It was surely impolite to keep a lady waiting, but for two hours? At this point, [Y/N] was starting to feel ignored.

To be fair, [Y/N] thought. I did arrive uninvited and impose myself on him.

In the end, [Y/N] decided that such concerns were trivial. If it helped her find a wealthy husband capable of sustaining her for her life in comfortable luxury, it was worth it to appear rude for a moment. She would make up for it later.

There were a few times when she was waiting when she thought she saw movement in one corner of the room or another. Other times she felt that she was being watched, only for her to turn around and find nothing out of the ordinary behind her. What little light had been present in the sky was now gone.

Eventually, she got up and walked to the other door in the room from where she had come in. She would go looking for someone to fetch her servant girl. If she was going to be ignored, she could at least go back to the inn and secure some manner of food. Perhaps this was a fool’s errand after all. For someone to be so purposefully reclusive, maybe it was a bit foolish to think she could attract his attention with a bit of nerve and flattery.

She entered a long corridor lit by hundreds of candles. They were beeswax, if the lack of the scent of burning fat was anything to go by. Higher quality candles were a bit of a luxury, since they had to be bought regularly en masse. Her steps sounded on the stone floors as she sought out someone, anyone.

She heard voices from one of the rooms up ahead. She knocked softly before she entered. She stopped in her tracks as she took in the sight before her. Two young men sat on a chair, one in the other’s lap. They were… kissing. Her face scrunched up in shock and revulsion. The idea that two men could be so… enamored with each other was… unnatural, at the very least. She brought a hand to her mouth as she gasped.

“Our guest has arrived, it seems,” one of them said.

He was the one sitting on the other’s lap. He had short dark hair in something like a military cut and he was finely dressed. He had a neat, stylish coat of navy blue with a blood red cravat where it opened at the top. His trousers were light grey, almost white and his black boots matched the gloves he wore. He grinned at her and his grey eyes flashed with… something.

“So it seems,” the other said. He spread his legs and lounged almost lazily. He was dressed in similar attire, but his clothes were slightly newer in style, with smaller buttons going down the center of the coat and tan trousers with white gloves. “To what do we owe the pleasure, my lady?”

[Y/N] took a step back towards the door. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at his face. He was handsome, with a square jaw outlined by a short, blond beard. His blond hair was swept back, revealing piercing blue eyes that made her feel exposed by how he regarded her with such lazy disdain, almost as though he was annoyed.

“I… came to take my leave, my Lord,” she replied.

“She came to appraise your home, she means,” the first man said. His grin remained and she noticed it had an almost… feline quality. It was unnerving.

“I have no doubt,” the other man replied. “She has been oddly persistent in her attempts to see me.”

That meant that the one sitting was the Earl of Brooklynshire, then. [Y/N] set her jaw and straightened her back. She opened her mouth to speak.

“How sweet,” the man who stood said. “She’s feeling righteous.”

“Is she?”

“She did walk in just as I was about to ravage you, my love,” the brunet said.

“Bucky,” Lord Rogers chastised.

“There is no harm in the truth,” Bucky said with a grin.

“If you two are quite finished,” she said. “I will take my leave.”

She turned around and the door slammed shut. In front was Bucky, whose grin had grown almost predatory.

“Leave? We haven’t even had dinner yet,” he purred.

“I—I shall not remain in this house a moment longer with this… this… unholy goings on,” [Y/N] declared.

“Unholy?” Bucky asked. His grin fell and his face grew cold and serious. “Less holy than the way you disposed of your husbands?”

[Y/N]’s heart nearly stopped at that. No one knew. She made sure of it. There was no one who could know who lived.

“Your first husband was an accident, to be sure,” Bucky continued. “But the rest? You have blood on your hands, lady. At least have the dignity to admit it.”

She turned and Lord Rogers regarded her with cold, calculating eyes. She took another step back and bumped into Bucky, who took his gloves off and wrapped one arm around her front and held her face with the other. He leaned in and took a long sniff before he sighed. [Y/N] tried to get out, to break his grip, but he was strong and his arms were as firm as iron. His hands were rough and callused, like a commoner or a soldier.

“Humans are so foolish,” he said lowly. “You really are an amusing lot. Always killing each other for the most petty of reasons and denying the kind of monsters you are. So many hypocrites for such a weak race.”

He turned to face Lord Rogers. “Not all, though. My love has a noble soul,” he said. “It almost makes up for the rest of you.”

“Wh-What are you doing?” [Y/N] demanded.

“Giving some justice to the poor souls you murdered,” Bucky growled. “The nobles hardly count, but the servants who knew? Your father when he found out? Their deaths are surely worthy of avenging.”

[Y/N]’s blood froze. How could he know? She couldn’t have left any loose ends. No one could connect her to those deaths, [Y/N] made sure of it. Even the servant girl you brought with you was a recent hire after the former became too suspicious.

“The only reason you’re still alive,” Bucky continued. “Is because my beloved is a jealous man who loves when I feed from him.”

What? [Y/N] thought. Her eyes returned to Lord Rogers’ face and he removed his own gloves as he moved his face almost casually, revealing two punctures on his neck. Bite marks. Her heart skipped a beat. Bucky was a vampire. He chuckled as [Y/N] tried to get away again.

“Is that fear, now?” he asked. “Your heart is beating so quickly. Perhaps you should retire for the evening. I am certain you will find my love’s hospitality very… accommodating.”

“No, I-I must leave,” [Y/N] replied. “Yes, I mustn’t miss my meeting with… the marquis.”

“Oh, a marquis,” Bucky said with a chuckle. “Did you hear that, Steve? She’s meeting with a marquis. To talk about the weather or the colonies, I wonder? Or maybe she’ll seduce him.”

“Well, good for her,” Lord Rogers drawled. “You are certain of her guilt?”

“I am,” Bucky replied. “No one is left to accuse her.”

“Well then,” Steve said as he stood. “What do we do with her?”

“Well, you could let me have her,” Bucky said. He took another sniff and licked up along the expanse of her neck. [Y/N] shivered from the touch. “It has been so long since I have had my fill, my love.”

Lord Rogers hummed, as though he were actually considering letting this, this… creature have its way with her. No matter what crimes she had committed, she was still human, unlike this Bucky Lord Rogers kept for all manner of… perversions.

“Or,” Bucky said. “We could keep her alive for a while.”

“What?” [Y/N] demanded.

“I haven’t agreed to let you turn me yet,” Lord Rogers said. His lips tilted up with a ghost of a smile, though, that did little to reassure her.

“That may be fixed rather easily, my love,” Bucky purred. Lord Rogers’ smile grew.

“Very well,” he said. “Make sure she’s… comfortable during her stay, will you?”

“As my Lord commands,” Bucky purred. [Y/N] closed her eyes and prayed to wake up.

Steve grunted as Bucky practically threw him onto the bed. The next thing he knew, his nocturnal lover was hovering over him and kissing him. He could taste his blood on Bucky’s tongue and he moaned. It was ridiculous how aroused he became when Bucky fed, but it was something he became used to a long time ago. His bare body rested under Bucky’s cold hands.

“My love,” Bucky moaned. “Say it again.”

Steve smiled and arched his neck. “Turn me. Please, Bucky, I want to be by your side forever.”

Bucky shivered above him as his mouth descended on Steve’s neck again. Instead of biting, however, he licked at the wounds, wetting his lips in Steve’s blood before he moved down the expanse of Steve’s body.

“I will almost miss feeding from you,” Bucky murmured. “Yours is the most delicious blood I have ever tasted.”

He began to doodle little patterns with Steve’s blood on his chest. Steve lay back and let Bucky have his fun. It would be the last time and to be honest, Steve would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the feeling of being so weak and vulnerable beneath Bucky’s grip. After tonight… it would never be the same again.

But Steve didn’t care. Humans were dishonest, uncaring, and cruel. Vampires might be the same, but Steve could choose whether or not to be one of them, rather than be born to a rank and life built off lies, extortion, and manipulation. It would be his choice, and he could choose to be different. Leaving humanity behind would be… symbolic.

Bucky’s fangs dug into the mound of one of Steve’s pecs. Steve moaned as they pierced his skin. Bucky dragged his lips over Steve’s body, leaving trails of blood along the lines of muscle and hair. Bucky looked up at him as he finished, his cold lips and pale skin painted red with Steve’s blood. His pale eyes were hungry and excited.

“Beautiful,” he murmured.

He captured Steve’s lips in a fierce kiss. Steve moaned as he tasted his blood again as Bucky’s cold tongue slipped against him contrasting with the warmth of the blood. His hands ran down the expanse of Bucky’s back. He was hard and even though he was becoming a vampire, part of him wanted to celebrate his last night of humanity.

“Bucky,” he moaned. “Please.”

Bucky hummed as he kissed and sucked at Steve’s neck. He rolled Steve over and mouthed over the bite marks on Steve’s neck.

“Worry not,” he murmured. “I would never take your humanity from you without letting you enjoy it one last time.”

He dropped a hand to Steve’s opening and pressed an oiled finger into him. It went in easily, Steve still being loose from last night. Steve relaxed at Bucky’s touch, even as his pulse quickened as Bucky’s finger entered him. Bucky kissed his back as he began to press another finger into him, stretching him slowly and lovingly.

“So warm,” Bucky murmured. “I’ll miss this tight heat around my cock when you’re changed.”

“But you’ll be with me forever instead of a few decades,” Steve moaned.

“That is true, and it quite makes up for the rest,” Bucky said. Steve could feel his grin against the back of his neck. With that, he pressed a third finger into Steve’s ass and Steve sighed at the familiar burning stretch.

Finally, Bucky took his fingers out and pressed his oiled cock to Steve’s ass. Steve moaned as the thick head pressed into him. It Bucky pressed into him in one, smooth motion until he was fully seated inside Steve’s ass. He moaned as his hands wandered over Steve’s body.

“Mine,” he purred in Steve’s ear. He nipped at Steve’s lobe and tugged gently. “Always, all mine.”

“Always yours,” Steve agreed. Bucky kissed him again as he began to rock into Steve’s ass. Steve moaned and pushed back with every thrust, trying to get Bucky’s member further, deeper inside him. Bucky moaned and began fucking him faster.

“I cannot wait until I don’t have to hold myself back,” Bucky growled. “I can give you everything I am, make you scream into the night as I take you after we’ve had our fill of blood.”

“Please,” Steve moaned again. “Give it to me, Buck. Want it so bad.”

“I know, my love,” Bucky said with a sharp thrust to Steve’s body. It dragged right along the place inside him that made his body alight with the most intense pleasure he’d ever felt. “I won’t harm you, though. I promised, remember? Wait just a little while longer.”

Steve whined and nodded. Bucky began to thrust into him with earnestness, now, but even this was Bucky holding back. Steve dreamed of what it would be like to feel Bucky fuck him without reserve or concern for his wellbeing. It would surely be worth all the waiting he’d done.

Bucky wrapped a hand around Steve’s cock and Steve moaned as the cold flesh worked around him, teasing around the head, and chased him towards his completion. Bucky kissed him long and hard and deep as he thrust into Steve’s body. His grip on Steve’s waist tightened to the point of delicious pain, fingernails dug into his body with the effort not to hurt him overmuch.

Steve reached back and grabbed Bucky’s ass and arched his back. He tilted his neck back in automatic submission, his eternal offering to his dearest love. Bucky sank his teeth into his neck and began to suck. Steve moaned as his fangs pierced his skin. It was the best, most beautiful feeling in the world, feeling Bucky inside him and feeding on him at the same time.

He really would miss this little part of being human. The part of him that was prey for his vampire lover, the part of him that played that part willingly, the part that gave himself completely over to his lover knowing that he would never do anything to hurt him.

“Please, Bucky,” he moaned. “Do it.”

Bucky growled and took his teeth out of Steve’s neck. Steve whined at the loss before his lips were covered with Bucky’s and he tasted his blood again. The dark, metallic taste that he knew Bucky loved so much.

“Come for me first, love,” Bucky commanded. “Come for me, and then I will make you mine forever.”

Bucky jerked his hand over Steve’s cock in tandem with his quick, sharp thrusts. Steve moaned loudly and threw his head back. Bucky wrapped a hand lightly around his throat and licked up his neck over the puncture wounds. Steve tightened around Bucky’s cock and came with a groan. A moment later, Bucky came inside him, filling him with his come.

Steve took several deep breaths as he waited for Bucky to bite down on him. He thankfully didn’t ask if he was sure, but Steve could feel him waiting.

“This will hurt,” he said. “Turning is not a pleasant experience.”

Steve nodded. “I understand,” he said. “Turn me.”

Bucky hummed one last time before his fangs pierced Steve’s neck. Steve moaned at the familiar feeling as Bucky drank more deeply than he ever had before. Soon, Steve began to feel dizzy from losing so much to his lover’s lust. A moment later, Bucky came off to bite his own wrist before he pressed it to Steve’s mouth. Steve drank. The taste was foul at first, but he took what was offered and drank as deeply as Bucky drank from him.

When Bucky finally unlatched his fangs from Steve’s neck, Steve relaxed. Bucky held him for a moment.

“Dying is the easy part,” he murmured. “Being born is what will hurt. You will be awake for the whole thing.”

“How long does it take?” Steve asked.

“It depends,” Bucky said. “Some are reborn the next day. Most take longer. It is said that the longer one takes, the more powerful they are when they wake. It never takes longer than moon.”

“How long did you take?” Steve asked.

“It took me 25 days to be born again,” Bucky replied with a mixture of pride and apprehension. “It was complete agony the entire time.”

Steve set his jaw and nodded. He took a look around the room. It was completely closed off from the rest of the castle, having been built some years ago so that Bucky could have a place to sleep during the day and a place where Steve could sleep with him at night. There were no windows, only paintings of the outside world. Steve didn’t care. Bucky was safe here, during the day. That was all that mattered.

Soon, it would be his place as well.

He closed his eyes, the effort of staying awake becoming too much. Bucky held him until he passed.

Then the pain began.

The only way [Y/N] was aware of the passage of time was by the meals that were brought to her, if they could be called that. They were mostly soup and bread, peasant food of mediocre quality at best. She consumed each meal, however, in case the opportunity to flee ever presented itself.

Each night, that creature, Lord Rogers’… pet, came to visit her. He never touched her, but allowed her to roam about the house for exercise with him as an escort. At midnight each night, she was returned to the bed where she stayed and chained there until the next day. Afterwards, the creature departed to do whatever unholy work his master set about for him.

It had been nearly a month since she arrived. 28 days, to be exact. With each passing day, the creature became smugger, with the past few verging on complete pride, like he had accomplished something extraordinary.

“He will wake soon,” he said each night.

Somehow, her sense of dread managed to grow each day. She did her best to hide it, but the creature seemed amused by her.

On the morning of the 28th day, the servant girl who attended her each day arrived. The one [Y/N] brought with her had apparently been sent home the first evening. [Y/N] wondered if that was true, or if the creature had consumed her blood or if he was only interested in the blood of men.

“How can you stay here?” [Y/N] demanded of the girl when she entered. “Do you know what sort of man your master is?”

“Lord Rogers is a kind man,” she replied. “He makes sure we are all taken care of and want for nothing.”

“But he keeps the company of that thing,” [Y/N] replied. “It’s unnatural.”

“Lord Buchanan is charming,” she said. “He’s a bit of a rake, but he’s better than any man except Lord Rogers.”

“Do you know what he is, though?” [Y/N] asked with a hiss.

“A vampire,” she said with a nod. “He killed the first steward when he arrived on Lord Rogers’ orders. Good thing, that. Pierce was a vile man, liked to grope the girls who were half his age and younger and he stole from the family treasury.”

“And you have no qualms with that?” [Y/N] demanded as her jaw dropped.

“Lord Buchanan feeds off Lord Rogers and kills criminals who deserve it and leaves good folk alone,” she replied.

“What about their relationship?” [Y/N] asked. “Do you know that they’re lovers?”

The servant girl snorted, just as gracelessly as a commoner would. If she were in [Y/N]’s employ, she’d be punished for making such a rude sound in front of guests.

“Of course,” she replied. “We all know. We all know everything. The only ones who had a problem with it were the ones who were guilty of bullying and taking advantage of the weak members of staff.”

[Y/N] pursed her lips but said nothing in reply. Her last ditch attempt to gain an ally had fallen flat on its face. The servant girl began to feed her and [Y/N] accepted the food, if by some miracle, she would be able to escape tonight.

No such opportunity presented itself.

Late that night, her doors opened as they always did. This time, the creature came and stood before the fire. The flames made him seem darker, and the only thing she could make out from his features was his feral smile.

“My lady,” he said. “May I present the Earl of Brooklynshire?”

At that moment, Lord Rogers entered the room, standing tall and strong and proud. He had been well built before, but now he seemed stronger. His skin was now deathly pale, but his hair and beard were as neat as ever. He regarded her and he seemed fascinated, as though he’d discovered a particularly interesting animal.

“You were right,” he said. “I can hear her heartbeat. That… will take a period of adjustment.”

The creature hummed and brought Lord Rogers closer. He smiled as he approached and she saw his fangs glimmer in the night. Her stomach dropped. Despite what the creature had told her, she’d hoped that perhaps he was bluffing. Lord Rogers laughed.

“Is that what it’s like to hear thoughts?” he asked. “It’s so… strange. If I hadn’t been becoming this, you would have been given to my love long before.”

[Y/N] swallowed. Lord Rogers leaned in and sniffed just like the creature had weeks ago when she first arrived.

“I didn’t expect humans to be so… enticing,” he murmured. “To smell so good.”

Sweat began to form on her brow as she felt his fangs at her neck. Her body was still chained to the bed, she was immobile. Her pulse quickened and the creature that was Lord Rogers growled right before he sank his fangs into her neck. [Y/N] shouted at the sudden pain. He began to drink greedily. [Y/N] tried to get away, but was held in place by Rogers’ arms and the chains that shackled her.

“No, please don’t,” she said. The creature, Buchanan, gave her a hard look.

“How many of your victims said the same thing? Did you ever listen?” he asked. [Y/N] said nothing in reply and Buchanan offered her a cold smile. “You will receive the same amount of mercy as them.”

Rogers’ drinking deepened. [Y/N] began to feel dizzy and the periphery of her vision began to seem foggy. It was getting hard to think, even the feeling of fangs at her neck seemed to dull.

Buchanan smiled and bent down to place a kiss to [Y/N]’s lips. It was soft and gentle and his fangs nipped at her bottom lip.

“We’re so glad you could join us for dinner, my lady,” he purred. “Thank you for coming.”

[Y/N]’s last thoughts were about how it was the best kiss she’d ever felt.

#lemons #stucky #steve rogers x bucky barnes #marvel #avengers #vampire au #regency au #female reader #fanfic #vampire!bucky #my work

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aweirdkindofyellow · 5 years

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Here I Am, There You Are

Jack Barakat x OC 'Rachel has been best friends with Alex, Jack, Rian, and Zack since high school. What happens when one of them gets married?'

Part 1

I woke up the next morning with somebody else’s arms wrapped around me. Often when I woke up in new strange places, I needed some time to remind myself where the hell I was and what I was doing. This time, I didn’t need anything to remind me what had happened. Everything was as clear as day. I could still remember Jack acting all civil in the Uber, confusing the hell out of me again. It was like he was playing with my emotions for his own entertainment. But, back in the hotel, things flipped around yet again. We went up to his hotel room, which he had already been in the night before, making sure to bring all my belongings with us this time, and the rest was history. Shifting a little to get more comfortable, I managed to wake up Jack. At first, he just stirred a little, but then his breathing became louder, and eventually he let out a loud groan. As expected, he was probably experiencing a horrible hangover. That mixed in with being woken up by another person was the worst combination. “Huh?” Jack grumbled, seemingly needing those extra minutes to remember that he wasn’t in his own bed at home. “Morning.” “Morning,” I whispered back, turning around to face him. He did indeed look like he needed a couple more minutes to wake up, if not hours. So, I decided to let him take his time without me around to make him dizzy. “I’m going to take a shower, okay?” He gave me a thumbs up and I got out of bed. Taking my bag with my change of clothes, I slipped into the bathroom, blowing off the fact that I was fully naked. My reflection was horrifying. Not only was my (classified by agencies as) honey blonde hair, which had been full of product, sticking up weirdly as a reminder of the night before, but my makeup was smudged completely. I quickly closed the bathroom door before Jack could see, making sure to leave it ajar so he could run in if he suddenly felt nauseous. I worked through my hair with a brush first, knowing it would be a lost cause if I wettened it without detangling it. It was more work than when I actually did it in the first place. Next was trying to get off all that smudged eyeliner and mascara, which I was more prepared for and had makeup wipes for in my bag. As soon as I knew taking a shower would only help my situation, I moved to the shower and inspected the dials and handles. Once I finally figured it out and turned it on, there was a knock on the door. Not a knock on the door to the bathroom, a knock on the door to the hotel room. I froze in place, wondering who it was, and decided to listen in before I hopped in the inviting water. Jack groaned once again, but got up anyway. After a bit of fumbling and another knock at the door, he grumbled out an “I’m coming!” Although I couldn’t see the faces, I could recognize the other voices as well. “Hey, Jack,” Lisa greeted, concern coating her words. “Have you seen Rachel? I barely got to see her yesterday and apparently she didn’t check in either.” My eyes went wide. Did I have to make an appearance and announce that I was okay? But I looked horrible and was completely naked. There was no way I could just casually walk out and act like it was all normal. Even if I quickly wrapped a towel around myself or put on some clothes, the conversation would have already moved on. “No, sorry,” Jack replied, his voice rough and hoarse. “If I see her, I’ll tell her you were looking for her.” “Okay, thanks,” she sighed, both with relief and even more unease, “I just want to see her before we leave on our honeymoon, which is in like an hour.” “Is that your shower running?” Alex’s deep chuckle came from the same direction, making me take a few steps away from the bathroom door. “Yeah,” Jack simply said, the croak of the door telling me he opened it a bit more, but not enough to invite the guests in. “Woah, what happened in here?” Lisa wondered, sounding shocked. “Well, let’s see…” Jack clapped his hand together, making him flinch at the sound he had created himself. “The bed sheets are all crumpled up, my suit is spread across the room, there’s a dress on the floor that most definitely isn’t mine, and there’s a condom wrapper on the bedside table. I’m not really sure, actually.” “Dude,” Alex laughed yet again. “And you don’t even remember?” “I am so fucking hungover right now,” Jack answered, making my heart drop. His prior statement still made it sound like he was making a sarcastic joke, but this said otherwise. “Man, well, good luck with that.” I didn’t listen to the rest of their conversation. Instead, I did what I came here for, and that was to take a shower. All the negativity and bad feelings had to be washed away. I ignored the fact that Jack was in the room next to me as soon as I got out of the shower and dried myself off. It was difficult to do with him shuffling around, but he didn’t enter the bathroom once. I just changed and dried my hair, praying he would leave the room temporarily so I wouldn’t have to see him anymore. But that was too much to ask for. I came out of the bathroom holding my suitcase to find Jack sitting on the bed facing me while cradling his head. While I had enjoyed his presence a few minutes before, I sure as hell didn’t anymore. I now knew what he thought about last night, and I didn’t want to deal with that. Despite knowing how drunk and horny he was, I still managed to fall under his spell. And I had literally told him I wasn’t a girl that did one night stands that evening. “You can go, now,” I muttered, refusing to look at him although I could feel his gaze boring right through me. I could only imagine his surprise to find out he had slept with me. He nodded and silently got up before going into the bathroom. As soon as the door closed, I threw my suitcase on the bed and opened it as quickly as possible. Since I was wearing the clothes and shoes I had brought along in it, I now had enough space to stuff my dress and heels in. I didn’t even bother to fold it nicely so it wouldn’t end up wrinkling. Even the underwear I couldn’t find from last night didn’t matter. I didn’t need those filthy things anyway. With the water still running in the bathroom, I sneaked out of the hotel room. I didn’t need to look back. I just had to go downstairs, get breakfast, maybe run into Lisa, and get back home. Just like that, I had managed to ruin my friendship with one of my best friends; all because I was so damn stupid. When I exited the elevator in the lobby, I saw Alex at the front desk with all of his large suitcases for his honeymoon. They needed to leave soon, and it was obvious they were all ready and excited to go. I didn’t know exactly where they were going, but I knew it was one of their favorite vacation spots. Lisa, however, was nowhere near, I walked past, ready to go into the food hall, only to be spotted by Alex. “Rachel!” he called out and speed walked up to me, leaving all of his bags at the front desk without close supervision. “Hey.” “Hey,” I smiled back, trying to push away all the things that had happened the day before, “I didn’t get to congratulate you yesterday. So, congratulations!” “Thanks.” He hugged me quickly, his eyes glancing in the direction of his belongings just to check. “Anyway, Lisa was worried about you. Apparently, you didn’t check in.” “Yeah…” I exhaled, knowing I couldn’t act like nothing had happened at all. “I sorta had a one night stand. Not really my thing, though. I’m never going to be doing that again.” “What? No way,” he shook his head in disbelief, but I shrugged to show him I wasn’t lying. “With who?” “Eh, I’m not sure. Kinda left before he woke up and didn’t really look back.” It was a lie, of course I knew it had been Jack. I remembered every little detail, even how he accidentally closed the door on my foot while we were making out. “Oh my god,” Alex laughed. “Stone cold, Rachel, stone cold!” If only he knew why I left so quickly, then he’d be saying that to somebody else. Jack would be in so much shit. Alex knew me way too well and knew I’d never willingly have a one night stand with anybody, stranger or friend. I nearly wanted to tell him just because Jack would be so dead. But I didn’t need to ruin Alex’s bliss. As soon as their honeymoon was over, I could mention it to him. “Anyway, I’m going to get some breakfast, okay? Tell Lisa I’m in there if she still wants to see me,” I brushed off his comment and dragged my suitcase behind me as I started to walk away. “Will do.” Alex gave me one single nod before returning to the front desk. Somehow, I managed to sneak into the buffet without having to tell the people my room number. Not checking in the night before could have seriously screwed me over this morning. Of course, I could have gotten back at Jack by telling them his room number, making sure he couldn’t get in anymore. But I wasn’t that petty, and there wasn’t even a reason to do so. Plus, the number wasn’t exactly something I knew. I got myself a bowl of yogurt and added some of the mixed fruit in it, picking up a banana and a spoon in the process. There was more than enough space for me to sit. All I really wanted was to sit by myself in a corner and regret all my life decisions. But then I made eye contact with one of my other best friends who had been in the wedding party. Rian flashed his teeth and beckoned for me to come over. He was sharing a large table with Zack, the plates at the empty spaces telling me they had had more company before. But I knew I couldn’t just ignore them now. So, I went up to them, struggling to hold my breakfast in one hand and drag my suitcase in the other hand over the carpeted floor. “Hey, guys,” I tried my best to give yet another believable smile as I put down my bowl and collapsed the handle. Before I could sit down, Rian rushed up to me and gave me a big hug, also not having seen me at the wedding reception. I hugged him back, still marveled at how much he had grown up. When I first met him, he was this chubby kid that wore shirts that were way too large for him. Now, he had gotten rid of that extra weight, replacing some of it with muscle, and his weird curly locks were gone. “How are you?” He asked me cheerfully as he broke the hug and pulled out the chair for me to sit on. Always the gentleman. “Yeah, pretty good...” I shrugged as he sat opposite of me and Zack. “No headache?” Zack poked with a wink. “Or did you cradle that glass of water for hours as well?” I punched him lightly, picking up my spoon so I could start eating. “I’ll have you know I had six more drinks after that water!” Were they also glasses of water? Yes, they were. Did Zack need to know? What he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him. This way, if anybody found out about my little mishap with Jack, I could still say I had six drinks after the guys tried to get some life in me. “Going hard, aren’t ya?” He laughed, letting me eat my bowl of yogurt. What I wasn’t prepared for, though, was that Jack was also going to get some breakfast. Of course it was stupid of me to think that he would just stay up in his room forever and I would never have to see him again. Lucky for me, though, I spotted him at the buffet beforehand, so I could at least shield myself mentally. Somehow, he joined our table just as Lisa came bouncing in to talk to me. There was still a permanent grin plastered on her face, the weight of her ring on her finger making her feel beautiful and important. And she was. Who wouldn’t feel that way after their wedding? She was still the one person everybody admired. Jack sat down across from Zack, the furthest away from me as possible. While it was the only seat left for him without him being excluded from the group, I still was more than grateful that he decided to sit so far away from me. I didn’t need his menacing glare to be worse than it already was. I really was trying to look anywhere but at him, but it was very difficult knowing that he was staring right at me with disgust. “Holy fuck, Jack,” Rian burst out, remembering something and leaning forward, hitting his hand against the table to get everybody’s attention. “I don’t know who you were with last night, but you were being fucking loud!” I continued to look down at my yogurt, hoping a blush wouldn’t spread across my cheeks. None of the guys really seemed to take any mind, they were more interested in whatever Jack had been doing. Jack just stared back at them, his eyes flickering between his friends. At least it meant his attention was no longer on me. “You know,” Lisa interjected, standing at my end of the table, “Rachel had a one night stand as well.” My silence was short lived. Everybody’s eyes fell on me now, shock stiffening their entire bodies. They all knew that I wasn’t the one to just sleep with a person and never look back. I had always been in some sort of relationship. Jack, however, didn’t flinch. He just continued to stuff a piece of waffle in his mouth, not even bothering to look in my direction. “Okay, stop judging me.” I raised my hands up in defense, in turn dropping my spoon in the yogurt and swallowing what was in my mouth. “I’m never going to do it again. It was the worst thing I’ve ever done. Literally, it sucked so bad. I was lucky I could sneak out of there; didn’t want to give him a fright since he couldn’t remember a thing. But, hey, I can take it off my bucket list now and hope I’m never faced with it again.” “Now, why would you say that?” Jack frowned, cocking his head to the side. Of course he had to get all defensive without giving away that both our sexcapedes happened to be the same one. I shrugged, leaning back in my chair. “Maybe you enjoy them, but I don’t. Not really my problem, just a preference.” “Okay, well, I’ve got to get going,” Lisa once again interrupted, luckily before this rivalry between me and Jack could blow up to something that didn’t just seem like him feeling I offended his ways. “But I’m glad to know you’re okay.” “Yeah, I’m so sorry I kind of disappeared on you,” I told her and got up from the chair. I hugged her tightly, swaying the both of us slightly, making this my most heartfelt hug the entire morning. I still couldn’t believe I had let myself be such a party pooper, and I really was sorry for it all. “Have fun on your honeymoon.” With that, Lisa said goodbye to everybody else, giving us all one last wave, her fingers closing up and down while the palm and thumb stayed in place. At least I still got to congratulate the bride and groom and didn’t have to feel guilty for the rest of my life. They probably didn’t even realize that I didn’t come up to them during the reception because of my own selfish reasons, not because they were so busy and having fun. I sighed, taking my last bite of watermelon and pushing my bowl forward a couple of inches. “I’ve also gotta get going. But it was really nice to see you guys again.” “Awe,” Rian pouted while Jack looked at me with wide eyes, “can’t you hang out with us a little longer? We haven’t even been able to catch up yet.” “I’m sorry, guys, but I’ve got a flight to catch.” I twitched my lips to give a sorry smile and started shuffling my chair back again. “But if you ever pass through LA, whether it be on tour or for personal reasons, contact me.” I did manage to get them to let me leave. Zack and Rian both gave me very nice goodbyes while Jack just looked around in panic. I really had to hold back my eye roll until I walked away. It wouldn’t be Jack if he hadn’t forgotten that we both lived in LA, actually quite close to each other. There was quite a large chance that we could run in. And now he suddenly realized his plan of fucking me and leaving me alone wasn’t going to work. I waited around in the lobby, feeling weird that I could just walk away without checking out and paying. All I needed to do was order an Uber, wait a little longer, and then I’d be off. Soon, the whole memory of last night would be very distant and it wouldn’t matter anymore. “Rach, wait!” Jack came jogging up to me from the food hall, his own phone in his hands. There was no way he had already finished his breakfast at the rate he had been picking at that waffle. He must have ran out after me. “What?” I exhaled, waiting for my phone to connect since it had died but had received a second life from my power-bank. “I, umm…” he breathed heavily, scanning my face with his eyes. “You, umm, you never gave me any Advil.” “Excuse me?” I scoffed. Did he really think I now owed him more than just my body? He was a fucking asshole. “No, no,” he shook his head, going to grab my arms but deciding better of it, “you promised to have Advil and sparkling water for me, remember?” I frowned. Yes, I could remember joking that I’d have it ready for him in the morning after our first kiss. But what did it matter now? It was an empty promise, just like that kiss had been. Was he trying to prove that he could actually remember last night? But then why would he tell everybody he couldn’t even remember coming back to his hotel room? There was something really screwed up about him. “Seems like things don’t always go as planned,” I shrugged, pleased to see my phone had service again and I could get that Uber to save me from this situation. “Rach, no, please,” he begged, his pleading eyes looking at the screen of my phone as I went to the app. “What do you want from me?” I asked, fed up with him, as I turned off my phone so we could finish this conversation. It wasn’t like I wanted to talk to him, but the rage in me was only going to ruin my day even further, I had to let it out. “Are you now trying to tell me that you can remember last night but are an asshole who acts like nothing happened? I told you I was not up for a one night stand, not ever, but you manipulated me. You saw that thong and just went for it.” “No, that wasn’t-- I-- Rach… You were saying how insecure you were. I couldn’t just--” “So you took advantage of me?” I gasped, shaking my head at him and unlocking my phone once again. “You knew I wasn’t in the right mind to say no to anything. Getting with insecure girls is easy, isn’t it?” “No!” he continued to deny, taking my phone out of my hands and stuffing it in his back pocket, knowing I wouldn’t reach in to grab it. “When I told you I had a crush on you in high school, I wasn’t kidding. I just never had the guts to pursue it because I thought you were way out of my league. You dated all the jocks and Alex, apparently. I didn’t have any chance. I forgot about it. But I felt horrible knowing you were so insecure about relationships. It made me wonder if I could maybe fix that and be that guy who didn’t just want to use you as a one night stand. But I panicked and Zack was the first person I saw. So, yeah, I may have been a bit over my head. Actually, I’m sure of it. I would have never kissed you if I didn’t have a little liquid courage. So, I don’t know where I went wrong, but I really didn’t intend for it to come over like this.” As moving as his speech was, pulling at my heartstrings, I still couldn’t just forgive him like that. “You just acted like you didn’t know what happened. You spoke about it like some routine. And now you’re trying to tell me it meant more to you? Do you hear how hard that sounds to believe?” I crossed my arms and held my hand out to get my phone back. “But, Rach, you’re the one that disappeared. You walked out on me. How do you think that made me feel?” He shook his head, refusing to give my phone back. “Because you told Alex and Lisa that you hadn’t seen me and described the events like it was just another morning for you!” I wailed, just wanting to get my phone back so I could leave. How people around us weren’t looking at us strangely, I don’t know. But I was done with it. “What, did you want me to tell them that we slept together?” He finally gave my phone back, harshly pushing it in my hand, causing me to immediately order that Uber without hesitation this time. “Cause I wasn’t just going to do that without knowing how you felt about it. What if you didn’t want anybody to know? What if I acted all happy about what happened just to find out you couldn’t care less? I didn’t need them to know I got my heart broken on their wedding night.” “Then why are you coming with this now? Why not earlier?” I sighed. I was starting to feel for him. I also wouldn’t have wanted to boast about it, just to find out Jack couldn’t remember a thing. But still, it wasn’t okay. “We’ve been friends for over ten years, nearly fifteen, and you never thought to say anything? Hell, if you said something this morning when we woke up, it would have been enough for me.” “Then what are we fighting about? Miscommunication? Cause that is a shitty thing to fight about if we both want the same thing out of this.” I froze. There was no good come back to that. Jack was right. Here we were, fighting with each other because we were both upset about the same thing. We both thought the other didn’t care, but wanted them to. We wanted it so bad that we were blaming each other instead of noticing that we also didn’t do anything ourselves. Jack could have told me all of this years ago, and it wouldn’t have done anything. Maybe it would have compromised our friendship, because I hadn’t ever thought about him like this. Last night, though, I couldn’t help but see him in a new light. Jack unearthed his feelings that he had managed to hide in high school, and I didn’t need to look for a stranger that would understand me and treat me right, I already had that person in front of me. It was a lot more simple that we made it out to seem. Jack must have noticed my silence. Just like the night before, he sneaked his right hand up to cup my left cheek. He lightly stroked my skin with his thumb, waiting for me to push him away. But I couldn’t. I was awaiting him, looking right into his eyes and hoping it was enough of an apology. He tried to send the same message back to me, eventually causing our lips to be pressed up against each other again. His scruff felt the same way as the night before, but he smelled way better. There was no overabundance of cologne and sweat, it was just soap and deodorant. It calmed my nerves. This time, we were broken apart by my phone buzzing. Jack sighed as I pulled away and took out my phone, disappointed to see that it was my Uber driver telling me he was right outside. I had hoped it would have been my savior, but now it was just the end before we reached the happy ending. “Text me when you’re back in LA, alright?” I asked him after texting the driver that I’d be out in a minute. “Okay,” he nodded, glancing out the window and at the black car that was waiting for me, before giving me a sad look. I grabbed his chin with one hand, my thumb on the left side of his face and my fingers on the other side. I carefully tilted his head down and kissed him briefly before taking hold of my suitcase’s handle and walking out of the hotel to go back home.

#all time low fanfiction #jack barakat fanfiction #all time low #jack barakat #all time low imagine #jack barakat imagine #here I am there you are

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littlestgamer · 5 years

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ajosies-main-blog replied to your post “I wanna talk about my bois and daughters, pls someone give me a reason”

Mk what made you fall in love with your husbandos?

Oh boy this is an interesting one to go back and look into let’s see:

Start off with the least compelling:

Gaius- I fell in love with him because of THAT STUPID LINE HE SAYS WHEN YOU MARRY HIM. Yes the ‘river of chocolate in an ocean of cream’ line actually won me over to the dumb goober! I was going through my 3rd playthrough of Awakening and I was playing as myself that round and also decided on making Henry my permanent husband. So I went and did the in battle save trick to S support all the non child unit males before I got to marry Henry so I would have their S support for the support log (In the end I forgot to S support Gregor rip). And then I got to Gaius. I found his support cute, but nothing too noteworthy since I didn’t read much of his supports before that (I um... didn’t recruit him my first playthough and my second one I think I only did one support for him). But then the S support CG played and I was stunned. “Did this guy just use such a corny line? And make me a blushing mess???? WAT???????” So while I didn’t marry him cause I was still set on Henry, I did feel kind of sad having him marry off to another character. So I went and grinded through his other supports when I did another playthrough as Male robin and went “Oh god I love two guys here.” Also seeing his reaction to the swimsuit along with his support with Henry in the Summer scramble DLC it was so fun and cute (Also if he’s married to the player for this DLC he will kiss them during the support convo). And that’s the story about how a thief won me over.

Kaden- First off let me say I have quite a few playthroughs on Fates since I played all three paths. I didn’t really look for a character to really consider the one I like the most until Revelations (Birthright was fun, aside from not knowing Kaze needed that A support >.> and playing Conquest right after gave me depression) so, spoiler alert, Kaden dies in Conquest and Keaton dies in Birthright, so I never got to really felt like experimenting with which guys I might like the most until I had all of them together in Revelations. (granted another might have taken the husband spot if not for a big glaring detail of Fates that I couldn’t get myself to overlook). But back to talking about Kaden. Kaden’s supports I didn’t really get to until Revelations and I liked them a lot. I liked how helpful he was and determined to return any favors. His caring personality is something you don’t often see with characters that have a touch of narcissism. Usually the kind and caring traits need some digging into the character to get to, but Kaden has it right there in his introduction for Birthright and Revelations. It’s also cute how he tries to responsibly spoil Selkie. He loves his daughter and wants to spoil her rotten, but knows that there are things she has to be told not to do, such as hunting excessively (she hunted 50 birds in one day but Kaden explained that she can’t do that all the time since it would cause their food supply to go away) or trying to keep her from running off on her own where he can’t trace her scent (he doesn’t want to restrict her freedom but also knows that poachers are a thing. Though Kaden pls you should really sit down and talk to her about what poachers are cause there’s about 3 times she gets caught and doesn’t realize the danger she’s in pls I want my child safe).Basically, Kaden won me over with kindness. And also he was a wonderful unit to use which helped a lot.

Keaton- Keaton was the winner of the husband search for Fates, yay! Reading his supports, it was so cute seeing how he would try to share his treasures to people, even if they mostly didn’t like it. And he was willing to give them up in his marriage to the player (no you can keep them sweetie, we royalty we can have a room dedicated for it). His tail wagging always being the giveaway to how he’s really feeling was extremely adorable to me. Him basically trying to adapt to the other people in the army to try and be friends with them. He’s a big softie despite how tough he acts sometimes and I love it. And not gonna lie, I kinda like the darker elements to his personality that he has, which you know explains the next one.

Henry- This man. He heard me mentally write him off and said “I’mma hex my way into your heart.” Okay, when I first recruited him, I did not care. I figured he was just the morbid jokester character that often doesn’t have many redeeming qualities and usually revolves around happily making people uncomfortable. So because I love the “opposites attract” trope and saw he could S support with Maribelle, I went with that since I figured that it would be entertaining. My expectations were shattered and replaced with something better. I won’t say what my entire expectation was, but I was expecting it to be a situation where Maribelle and Henry would have to come to a mutual understanding on things. So when I ended up getting what we get with Maribelle/Henry’s support, I was pleasantly surprised. Henry does have a reasonable view of mortality,even if he expresses it in a way most people won’t like. Him working with Maribelle to help quell her fears of death was not something I expected. So on my second playthrough, I went through more of his supports (though he married Tharja in the end on that one, I’m sorry Noire) and I was interested in how he developed. Learning that he had a lot of childhood trauma, learning how he’s actually coping through most of the pain he endured, and then also having him literally beg to not be abandoned in one of them. And a big thing was also his willingness to learn why his view on killing people and having bystanders die in the crossfire is morally wrong. And when he’s told why, he listens while also occasionally giving good points that defend why he thinks the way he does sometimes. Just he doesn’t like orders that tell him not to fight the enemy at all. He also provided a point of view from the Plegian’s side that Tharja’s supports didn’t cover as much. In Henry’s support with Ricken, you learn that the Plegians are not all some enemy goons that just need to be taken down, you learn that most of them had families, hobbies and dreams for the future. But the reason Henry had no problem turning on them was because he never felt close to them. And yet, Henry does care for the people in the Ylissian army, to the point where he says if Ricken were to die, he would likely go on a rampage. So then you’re left wondering how bad things are for the country as a whole for Plegia and maybe kind of wondering what would it be like if we got more of a PoV from the Plegians that weren’t only from the main villains pov. And Ricken’s support is not the only one where he shows he cares about people. With Miriel, in the A support Henry helped out a pregnant woman who was carrying a lot of stuff and afterwards basically said “Man it’s stupid how they have to go through this, I’m gonna create a curse to help mothers everywhere and will make the kids out of thin air. Boom no more 9 months of grief.” Olivia’s support is where he gets his constant smile unmasked. Those moments when he’s not sure if she was still alive and you see that he’s actually sad and fearful of the people he cares about dying on him. He’s not a bad person, but his situation growing up has definitely lead to some moral conflicts with others. Bah, there’s much more I could talk about. He had more depth to him than I expected and now I’m married to him and he laughs at me for how much I love him when I was ready to not give him the time of day.

#josies-main-blog #fire emblem #fire emblem heroes

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newwayastrology · 5 years

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AN ACTUAL CONSULTATION EXAMPLE I get requests sometimes for the cliet to tape the consultation. I usually tell them that there will be no need for a tape because they will remember the one or two main points shown in the horoscope. In this case, the client said that she was going to take my Course and that listening to her own consultation might be of benefit later on down the line. She taped it and then wrote it out for me to use for instruction. This is it below: The first thing I always do is look for a hemisphere emphasis. The hemisphere emphasis is like the introduction to a book. It gets you in the ballpark of what to expect. Everything in a chart is within the context of the hemisphere emphasis. Here, it is northern and that immediately introduces a parental concern. Seeing that there is a parental concern, you look for corroboration and that is easy to see with the 4th House activity and the close square between the Sun and Moon, which is always an indication of parents who were not on the same page during conception, around the time of birth, or just in general. All parental rulers are involved in tension so there’s little doubt here that there was a substantive parental concern to discuss in this consultation. Whenever there is a parental concern, there is a psychological pattern that follows in real life that brings in self-esteem concerns, a delay in finding out just who one is in life (causes a lot of mistakes to be made; this is seen when the ruler of the Ascendant is involved in tension or is retrograde)) and it all usually spills out in relationships with people, especially personal relationships. This is psychiatry, real life expectations. The 2nd House (self-esteem) has obvious tension shown between the rulers of the 2nd House and 5th House, as well as the rulers of those Houses. What does that tell us? First, an explanation. In a Natural horoscope (has Aries on the Ascendant, Taurus on the 2ndm Gemini on the 3rd, etc), the 2nd House is always square to the 5th House. The 5th House is one’s sexual identity. It’s where we look to see if there are any challenges giving love. So, when there are planets involved that tie these Houses together, we expect that there is something about the way this woman feels about herself that causes a challenge of some kind when it comes to giving love. Let’s break it down with significator dynamics. The Moon is square the Sun and Saturn. This incorporates the 1st, 2nd, and 7th Houses – delay in identity realization, self-esteem, and relationships. We start to get the beginnings of a theme. The Jupiter-Pluto conjunction in the 2nd squares Venus. It refers to overdoing things, relationally and sexually. When Venus and Pluto are in hard aspect, there is usually a relational perspective that causes problems for the person because it is out of line with what’s possible in that person’s reality. The sexual identity is the 5th House. What happens to that identity during sex with someone else is shown through the 8th House. The 8th is ruled by Uranus and Uranus trines Venus and has no tension. So, this leads us to believe that she is just fine when she is having sex with someone else. The issue here is what she brings to the table when it comes to giving love. Mars squares the Ascendant, exactly……anger taken in from the early home. Mercury-Neptune in 4 equates to idealism/confusion in the home. Now, I check to see if there is anything at the Sun/Moon midpoint. There is nothing contacting it but it is at the Aries Point, which means a projection of ego and relational things that is worn on the sleeve for all to see. I also see Venus=Ura/ASC=Mars/Ura=Sun/Node. It’s all relational/sexual stuff. The Sun-Moon-ASC blend of Scorpio-Leo-Cancer suggests a deeply privately, controlling emotional life energy that is expressed through a personality that needs recognition and it is all expressed through an emotional security-seeking image. You’d expect a person with a strong sense of purpose with fixed emotions that easily dramatize sexual or sensational matters. Expectations of fulfillment from others is strong, especially when it comes to ego security and love needs. Notice the red marks in the aspect grid. They are quintiles. When there are multiple quintiles, creativity needs to be important, if nothing more than in a serious hobby. Quite often, it is a part of or focus on creativity in the job or career. One midpoint picture, Sun=Mer/Ven, is another indication of creativity. The period on the end of the sentence is Neptune conjunct Mercury. This is a decided, emphasized creativity…a strong focus of imagination. It also refers to confusion at home. Plu=Ven/Sat really, really emphasizes the relational/sexual control factors shown in the chart. Then, on the other hand, there is Mars=Ven/Plu, a very sexual midpoint. And, Ven=URA/Mc=Mars/ASC. I have three concerns to address with her: parents, self-esteem, relationships/sex. THE CONSULTATION Me: Thanks for being exactly on time. Even though this is Skype, it is good to meet you. We are going to have a great discussion today. Her: I am excited. My goodness, what a sexy voice you have. I would be standing over your shoulder if we were married. (laughs). I know how these women are out here. (That statement from her immediately told me that her issues relationally are because she is controlling and she is controlling because she is insecure. She is insecure because the relationship model she got from home through her parents is dysfunctional). Me: Thank you. I have received voice compliments my entire life but you didn’t pay me to talk about my voice so let’s get to you. In a nutshell, the central energy of this horoscope is probing, passionate, deeply emotional and needs to have control by knowing everything. This basic energy is expressed through a personality that needs recognition and ego security. All of this is expressed to others who don’t know you very well through an emotional, nurturing image. In a nutshell, this horoscope suggests that you come from a parental situation that wasn’t necessarily fulfilling and functional. From this, you absorbed feelings that created self-esteem concerns that affect your life intensely when it comes to relationships and sex. As well, there is anger absorbed from the parental situation that probably caused you to make a lot of errors in life before you finally understood who you are. Let’s begin with you telling me about your parents. Her: They fought all the time and I mean physically. I have seen them hit each other a million times and they’ve been married 25 years! Me: What do you think you took from their relationship? Her: I’m a real bitch. I was married and divorced three times by the time I was 21 years old. I don’t take no shit. (Rulers of the 1st and 7th in conflict) Me: Your libido is strong or does it suffer from all this anger you’ve absorbed and make things difficult when it comes to being intimate? Her: My libido is overwhelming. I have been to Sexaholics Anonymous for it. There was a time when I couldn’t even wipe myself after a pee without masturbating. It’s nothing for me to come a dozen times a day masturbating. And, during sex, hell, a kiss on the neck makes me cum. I am very multi-orgasmic, even explosive. I squirt like a urination. Me: So, then, would you say that you are controlling, sexually speaking? (Saturn means being controlled or being controlling.) Her: Unfortunately, yes. There was one time when I had a real bad day at work. My boyfriend had a root canal that day. When I got home, he was just trying to deal with the beginnings of pain but I needed to get laid. I didn’t at all care about his feelings. I want what I want when I want it. I guess I am controlling, huh? I knew I was wrong. His jaw was swollen and everything but I needed to cum and that’s all I cared about. Me: It’s good that you understand that you were wrong in retrospect. The idea is to be thoughtful BEFORE an act, not afterwards. Tell me about the importance of creativity in your life. Please, at least say you have a creative hobby. And, oh yea, what did that guy do? Her: By the time I got done giving him head, he forgot about his pain and did me. When I came in from work the next day, he was gone and had taken all of his stuff. Creativity? I manage a clothing design company. I approve or reject all designs and I am responsible for the prudent use of an 8-figure budget. Even at home with sex, I am very creative. I like to play games. I like to find ways to bring a man almost to “that point” and then stop and go watch TV or something. Then, I’ll get him again and stop. I start this on Friday night and do it again on Sunday. By the time Sunday comes, he is about to lose his mind. Creativity underscores everything I do. You are good and your wife is lucky. All you’d have to do is talk to me and I would climax. Me: You are a mess. What a flirt but ya know, that is what you do to try and control the room. It rescues your fragile sense of self-esteem but no matter how many sexual conquests you have, you still aren’t comfortable looking in the mirror, right? Her: Like I said, you are good. Sex rescues me. I suck at relationships but I am a champion with sex. Me: Have you ever considered therapy to address these buried feelings of anger, the fractured self-esteem and the rest? Her: Really? Do you think it will help? Me: Absolutely. There are some things in the depth of you that you need to address and understand so that you can be more productive, relationally-speaking. Plus, the pain. You have a confident personality but we both know that you are as soft as water. All you did was teach yourself some behaviors that hide the pain. You don’t want anyone to know how very vulnerable you are to suggestions that offer emotional security. The perfect situation for you is having a great family that is very secure with a husband who treats you like a queen. Her: You are trying to make me cry, right? Me: No, you are trying to prevent yourself from showing real emotion. You’ll show sexual emotions because you control those scenarios but when sex is removed, you become an actress because your model for relationships is based on terminally feuding parents. You’ve got to be comfortable with who you are and understand that you were a victim in the traffic pattern of your parents. They didn’t fight because of you. They had issues before you were born. Did either of them have a great upbringing? Her: You are scary. No, neither one of my parents had both parents. You just went to my soul. I feel naked. Well, look…..is there anything major showing for the rest of this year? Me: Not at all. But don’t let that get in the way of therapy. Her: Okay. I am embarrassed about the flirting with you but really, your voice is heavenly. I know I am not the first woman to say it. It’s just the truth. You can’t possibly have any more to talk about with my chart. If you do, too bad. Nothing else is important. I’m going to seek out someone to talk to professionally. I don’t want to continue this way just being a nice piece of ass for men. I want something meaningful. I don’t want to have to offer sex just to snuggle with someone on Christmas Eve, you know? Me: Let me know how the therapy goes. We covered the main theme of your horoscope. If you were with another astrologer, you might get a lot of information that isn’t really helpful. I go straight for the jugular. Most people have one or two major issues that, if cleared up, work wonders for fulfillment in life. Get that therapy, okay? Her: I will. One last thing…..tonight, thinking about your voice is…. ME:…..JUST STOP. You are insane. See ya. Her: (laughing) Okay. Bye.

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