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inkskinned · 10 months

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it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.

yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.

it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.

how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.

chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?

how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.

"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.

i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.

#writeblr #warm up #i can't write rn but i have SO much words in here bc im reading the chorus of dragons books #(just started book 4)#and this woman's writing is just LIVING in my brain. let me out!!!#(i read roughly like 2-4 books a week usually bc i go on long walks with my dog but when a book is REALLY good like. it eats my life. )#anyway ...... so like here's a story that idk i've tried to explain to other people as being wild #but maybe im the only one who thinks it is wild???#so i play pokemon go (i just started in jan) bc i love pokemon and as i have mentioned i walk goblin for like an hour in the morning #and i don't like a lot of fitness trackers due to the fact it makes me .sad. but i also wanted the little digital rewards. enter pokemon go #anyway so they make you make friends to complete quests. so i used a reddit thread. i do not usually use reddit. i don't have an acct #i lurked. i just googled like ''pokemon go reddit '' and randomly added a bunch of numbers #i was on that page for all of 15 minutes. there are THOUSANDS of responses on that page.#here's what's wild: in that group of people. even though i am not on reddit and it was one random event once #it turns out one of those people lives in the town i live in. or at least very close. i only know this because #when we send each other gifts. it's from the same freaking area.#i can't ask them to meet up bc pokemon go doesn't have a messaging app lol but like . what are the fucking chances that #a random person posts in a random reddit thread and HAPPENS to get added by someone ELSE from their SAME TOWN #who by pure fucking CHANCE is ALSO playing pokemon go and looking for friends #i googled it there's only 42000 people in my broad region. the .......... smallness ! of the world!!!

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zukotheartist · 6 months

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The day before yesterday I was looking at statistics about reading habits in different countries (average book count per year, age, most read genre, etc) and then yesterday i came across a poll here asking how many books youve read so far this year and now im wondering:

The highest I saw (not just in that poll's tags but on other socials as well) was 365! With the person in question being a lil under 300 rn.

The lowest (and no shame here! I myself have picked up reading again after a long time and it's quite the challenge) was 1! But I also saw lots of people aim for 5.

The average seems to be anywhere around 30 to 60!

And the second most common bracket (interesting that it's also the one made up of mostly late teens and early 20yos) is 10-30!

Idk if anyone will read this but if u do, id love to know more about your thought process in the tags!

(Just pls be kind to each other and no fucked up elitism lol)

#books #reading #literature #reading goals #lit #poll #al's poll #al's post #mine is pretty low bc i stopped reading for years so i need to ease up into it and be kind to myself (+ i have uni and im trying to do #another thing that takes a lot of time) based on that and a bunch of other stuff i initially aimed for 12 but now 13 also bc it's my lucky #number hehe #but ye lil me would read honestly like even 50 books in a year #and in their 3rd language - wtf happened😭

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aldoodles · 1 year

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you enter the woods and find three children. after approx. 0.06 seconds, you have some observations.

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lucyshypemaster · 5 months

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keefe was actually insane for this

#I've been slandering keefe a lot lately so.... here's some keefe appreciation!#ok but srsly #other than sophie obviously being the main unfortunate victim #keefe is also a victim with the way the fandom barely pays any attention to his character and only focuses on his good looks and sokeefe #like yes he is loved but do y'all ever see people actually CARING about his character?? other than yk...sokeefe #don't come at me for this one i know shannon has been focusing the last few books on him #but im deadass serious when i say that barely anyone talks about his character as a whole #keefe is genuinely an incredibly cool character #and i legit screamed when i read this part #“I could keep it with the jewel I sliced out of Dimitar’s ear when I beat him at sparring.“ is SO CUNTY LIKE #the girls who get it get it #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #keefe sencen #kotlc flashback

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camelspit · 2 days

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sorry i cant be the only one who thought keefes comment about lady belva having a crush on him was a joke. like completely unserious untrue hes just saying that to sound cooler or whatever. please.

#i just!! think its being taken too literally!!#i think there was a scene where he had to dance with her in detention? but also #that could either be a “ok youre not paying attention so come show the class how its done” type thing #or a. she has to dance with someone to demonstrate and has probably danced with multiple other kids.#im just bringing it up bc ive seen it mentioned a lot lately and ive never considered it to be literal.#i havent read the books in a while so maybe theres a really damning quote i missed!#but for now i am a belva is probably not that bad truther #kotlc

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raskti · 1 year

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The kiss

Sources: The Bible, Swedish translation(1917) - translated version gt / Judas Iscariot and others by Leonid Andreynev / Judas Iscariot - What can be said for him? by Mark Rutherford "Pages from a Journal with other papers" / Les Miserables by Victor Hugo

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rhymaes · 3 months

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The Untamed, Eps. 19, 20 // Red, Chase Berggrun

#I spent SOOOO MUCH TIME ON THSIBBECAUSE LIKE. WHAT ELSE CAN A GHOST DO BUT HAUNT #he was dead the moment the core left his chest & yet. & yet. he came back. because his siblings needed him. because the war. his friends #and I’m loving them so much he gave it all up—including (in his mind) that love #like. fuck. you can’t move beyond the grave when you’re burying yourself with your other hand !!!#the untamed #mdzs #mdzs fanart #mxtx mdzs #wei ying #wei wuxian #lan zhan #lan wangji #hanguang jun #jiang cheng #jiang wanyin #also I’ve had this book for three years I KNOW im behind but holy FUCK WVERYONE GO READ IT NOW #I love. queer people. I love Dracula. I love erasers #& bestie chase. get it.

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obsob · 5 months

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lady amber my beloved

#mine #rote #fitz and the fool #amber i would die for u #this was going to be a fools quest beloved but unfortunately the short hair was rlly bad so shdhsdbd #au in which everything is the same but beloved kept their beautiful long locks #honestly fools quest is simultaneously the hardest and funniest rote book to read #like on the one hand everything is awful. on the other hand people hve told fitz hes cringe for being depressed like 5 times its so funny #also when fool said ash made a convincing girl and fitz said 'you would know' FITZ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i screamed girl ur so funny #anyway . this drawing gave me so much grief i drew it last week and only this evening had time 2 colour it ooooaug #moving tomorrow good lord !!! im not convinced i can get everything in the car but my mum says we can so.....i believe her i guess #im so stresed. also i think my printer is just going to be like. raw dogging it in th car bc we dont hve a box big enough so KJBKSDJBK #anyway hve a nice evening!

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cometblaster2070 · 29 days

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i am upsetting myself at ungodly hours by imagining how the scene in apple and raven's dorm room must've looked like after raven refused to sign.

like imagine apple sobbing the night away and raven tries to comfort her only to be rebuffed and she spends the entire night awake and staring at the ceiling while the guilt eats away at her as she hears apple's quiet sobs.

and apple's there feeling so hurt and angry and alone, and in that moment she probably wants nothing more than a friend, a comforting presence, but she can't even look her bsf in the eye because she's just so upset about what's just happened.

idk there's something about the two of them being so steeped in distress and sadness because raven can't force apple to understand her and apple can't comprehend the reasons for raven's decisions.

and the two of them love each other SO MUCH, but right then they're just stuck in that suffocating dorm room with only each other for company, wondering what they're going to do next.

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chemblrish · 3 months

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6 January 2024

Pchem never ends... I have to start revising phase equilibria today which might be my most loathed least favorite chapter. I don't know, the diagrams just never clicked, but hopefully that'll change - there's still time.

ft. a new book! I've been really craving science fiction lately + I've heard great things about this one, so I'm pretty excited to dig into it :)

#im not into ya but apparently it *doesn't* read like ya so #fingers crossed!#also im always open for sf novel recs #please #im so sick of checking the sf section of like any book website #and seeing almost exclusively asi*ov and other misogynistic garbage :(((#mine #studyblr #chemblr #studyspo #study motivation

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skunkes · 2 months

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#prefacing this with I Know Spanish. i cant not know spanish‚ my parents don't speak english #but im the only one of my siblings that didnt get to go to school over there 🇲🇽 (just pre school)#adn the thing is like. my siblings wld talk to me in eng of course #(if they talked to me at all! what do u say to a baby when you're 9 12 and 15 yrs older.)#and my parents wld similarly jst not talk to me? i did not have conversations with them from birth to now lol.#thjere is something about how like. my sisters kids are also learning the languages at the same time #but when they mess up in spanish theyre corrected‚ by my sister (their mom)‚ my other sister‚ my parents #why not Me. why wasnt that extended to Me as a child...#the same reason I have the least amount of baby pictures while my siblings all have one full book each i bet #the same reason why my and my eldest sister are 15 yrs apart LOL #igts so crazy to me. i hate mentioning this bc people assume #im one of those ppl who isnt fluent bc their parents speak english and spanish and never taught them #my parents dont speak english❗❗❗❗#my nephew thats older than me who is my fave family member and also only speaks spanish #is coming up on sunday idk that i can fully carry convo with him!#pure spanglish bc i didnt grow up having convos in it writing it reading it #thats why im so desperate to read books in spanish now. im so deeply ashamed #igts so crazy. i hate it.#saw a comment on smthng the other day thats like ''idk how u can have parents that only speak spanish and not know it lol''#well can you take a guess. can u take a guess as to how that would happen via interactions. lack thereof.#idk why but its even more embarrassing this way. genuinely how cld u not know...?#its like i was born to feel isolated from my family in every single way...youngest by so many years #the language thing. the Hates Eating thing. the trans thing. most severe failure to launch #im so embarrassed to be alive....!#and i dont belong anywhere. and i am Alone wherever I am.#abandoned by direct and distant relatives. ancestors.

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 4 months

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hm. im not very big on new years resolutions, they're too much pressure. but... perhaps i can handle new years Desires

this year i want to complete a lil comic, fan-based or otherwise. i'd like to also complete some sort of storyboard/animatic thing. i want to develop a coloring style that i can be proud of. i want to get to a point with my dragons where they can have a coherent story & world to live in. i want to think of so many fun, trivial facts about my characters. i want to post more about them. i want to write and post an original thing, be it 1k words or 10k. i want to finish the rough draft of a book i outlined. i want to be kinder to myself. i want to create more gift art for others. i want to put more effort & care & love into my art. i want to force myself into the world and figure out how to live. i want to make an irl friend. try a new craft - scrapbooking, maybe, or making an enamel pin. i want to finish that last commission and make a new sheet for more. i want to be freer with myself. i want to finish at least three fics. i want to go whale watching again. i want to improve my art, especially in the matter of drawing people. i want to bake something tasty and share it with the neighbors. i want to be content with existing. i want to have more good things in life to list on bad days. i want to build a birdhouse.

#i also... want to buy sort & jar more clay sprinkles #and unpack everything in my room #last place i lived in for three years had boxes from that move that i never opened #not this time... this time Everything will find a place...#maybe ill try poetry! maybe ill volunteer on a tallship again!#maybe ill change my hair! spice up my style! leash train my cat!#i want to improve my writing as well #and read more books! even if im just rereading!#No! i want to read priory of the orange tree!#absolutely unprompted #the last few years ive just... had very little hopes or desires #it was just one month after the next with the knowledge that id do nothing the next year too #not this year please. not this year....#i want to Try. i want to live. please? please #the beginning of this year is gonna be tough and my life's stability is being threatened #but! i will hold on hope with bloody teeth. im gonna make it this time. i want to change for the better #and i will. thats my only resolution. the others are maybes and what ifs #but i Am going to change. i want to be in the world and so i shall be. i want to be a person and so i will make it happen #clinging to that this year. im worth it! this time i really am worth it.

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kaladinkholins · 3 months

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i know I've mentioned my interpretation of mizu's gender a million times on here but i don't think i ever fully elaborated on it.

so on that note i just wanna ramble about that for a bit. basically, it's my reading of the show that mizu is nonbinary, so let me dig into that.

putting the rest under the cut because it ended being pretty long lol. also here have a cute mizu pic of her being happy and most at ease with herself, symbolised by her letting her hair down. <3 ok let's proceed.

okay note that nonbinary is an umbrella term, and applies to a vast range of gender identities, but it's my personal preference to use it as is, simply because i'm not a fan of microlabels. more power to you if you are though, but anyway.

essentially when i refer to mizu as nonbinary it means that i interpret mizu as a woman, but not ONLY a woman. not strictly a woman. she is also a man. she is also neither of these things, she is something in between, while at the same time she is none of these at all. i've said as much many times, but i just don't want people to think that by nonbinary it inherently means a "third androgynous gender" that essentially turns the gender binary into a gender trinary. not only is that going against what the term nonbinary was crafted for (to go against rigid boxes and categorisation of gender identities), but also, not all nonbinary people fall under that category or definition, and that's definitely not the way i interpret mizu.

also, before anyone fights me on this, let me clarify further that gender means something different to everyone. it's not your biological sex or physical characteristics. but at the same time, gender is not mere presentation. you can be a trans woman and still present masculine—either because you're closeted and forced to, or because you just want to—and either way, that doesn't take away from your identity as a woman. same goes for trans men. if you're a trans man but you wear skirts and don't bind or don't get top surgery, that doesn't make you any less of a man. because gender non-conformity exists, and does not only apply to cis people! some lesbians are nonbinary and prefer using he/him pronouns while dressing masculinely, but that doesn't mean they're a man, or that they're any less of a lesbian. neither does this mean that they're a cis woman.

the thing about queer identities in general is that, like i said, they mean something different to everyone, because how you identify—regardless of your biological attributes and fashion or pronouns—is an extremely personal experience. so a nonbinary person and a gnc cis woman's experiences might have plenty of overlap, but what distinguishes between the two is up to the individual. there's no set requirements to distinguish you as one or the other, but it's up to you to decide what you identify as, based on what you feel. either way, by simply identifying yourself as anything under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are already communicating to the world that you are not what a conservative, cisheteronormative society wants you to be.

which is why i find all this queer infighting on labels to be so ridiculous. because we're all fighting the same fight; the common enemy is a societal structure that divides us into set roles and expectations purely based on our biological parts. that's why biological essentialism in the queer community is a fucking disease. because by arguing that women are inherently weak and fragile and soft and gentle and must be protected from evil ugly men, while men are inherently strong and angry and violent and exploitative of women, these people are advocating for the same fucked up system that marginalises and abuses women as well as effeminate and/or gay men.

anyway. i'm going on a tangent. this was meant to be a blue eye samurai post. so yeah back to that— the point i'm trying to make is that there's no one way to identify as anything, and everyone views gender in a specific way.

so with that being said, yes you can definitely interpret mizu as a gnc cis woman and that's a totally valid reading. however, interpreting her as nonbinary or transmasc also doesn't take away from her experiences with misogyny and female oppression, because nonbinary and transmasc folks also experience these things.

me, personally, i view her as nonbinary but not necessarily or always transmasc because i still believe femininity and womanhood is an inherent part of who mizu is. for example, from what we've seen, she does not like binding. it does not give her gender euphoria, but is instead very uncomfortable for her both physically and mentally, and represents her suppressing her true self. which is why when she "invites the whole" of herself, she stands completely bare in front of the fire, breasts unbound and hair untied. when she is on the ship heading to a new land in the ending scene, she is no longer hiding her neck and the lack of an adam's apple. we can thus infer that mizu does not have body dysmorphia. she is, in fact, comfortable in her body, and relies on it extremely, because her body is a weapon. instead, what mizu hates about herself is her face—her blue eyes. she hates herself for her hybridised identity, hates herself for being a racial Other. hates that she has no home in her homeland. these are not queer or feminist themes, but postcolonial ones.*

* and as a tiny aside on this subject, i really do wish more of the fandom discussion would talk about this more. it's just such an essential part to reading her character. like someone who's read homi k bhabha's location of culture and has watched this show, PLEASE talk to me so we can ramble all about how the show is all about home and alienation from community. please. okay anyway—

nevertheless, queer and feminist themes (which are not mutually exclusive by the way!) are still prevalent in her story, though they are not the main issue that she is struggling with. but she does struggle with it to some extent, and we see this especially during her marriage with mikio, where we see her struggle in women's domestic spaces.

on the other hand, though, she finds no trouble or discomfort in being a man or being around other men—even naked ones—and does not seem stifled by living as one, does not seem all that bothered or uncomfortable navigating through men's spaces. contrast this to something like disney's mulan (1998), where we do see mulan struggle in navigating through men's spaces, as she feels uncomfortable being around so many men, always feeling like she doesn't belong and that she's inherently different from them. mizu has no such experiences like this, as her very personality and approach to life is what can be categorised as typically "masculine". she is straightforward and blunt. her first meeting with mikio, she tells him straight to his face that he's old while frowning and raising a brow at him. she approaches problems with her muscles and fists (or swords), rather than with her words or mind. compare this with mulan, who, while well-trained by the end of the movie, still uses her sharp wits rather than brute strength. this is a typically "feminine" approach. it's also the approach akemi relies on throughout the show—through her intelligence and persuasive tongue, she navigates the brothel with ease. mizu, in contrast to someone like mulan and akemi, struggles with womanhood and femininity, and feels detached from it.

thus, in my opinion, mizu is not simply a man, nor is she simply a woman. she is both. man and woman. masculine and feminine. she has to accept both, rather than suppress one or the other. her name means water. fluid.

as a side note, while i do believe mizu is nonbinary, i also primarily use she/her pronouns but this is a personal preference. i find it's easier, plus it's what the creators use, and because, in general, being nonbinary simply doesn't necessitate the use of they/them pronouns. nonbinary is not just a third gender. it's about breaking the binary, in any which way, and that's exactly what mizu does.

also, i'd also like to mention that one of show's head of story even referred to her with the term "nonbinary", rather than simply "androgynous" (see pic below). and it's possible this could be a slip up on his part, in which he believes the terms are interchangeable (they're not btw), but regardless i find it a very interesting word choice, and one that supports my stance.

so anyway yeah that's my incredibly long rambling post.

TL;DR nonbinary mizu rights 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 congrats if you reached the end of this btw. also ily. unless you're a TERF in which case fuck off. ok i'm done.

#mizu blue eye samurai #mizu bes #blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai meta #sorry if this is redundant btw i just cant stop thinking thoughts :3 #btw i am a mixed* southeast asian who is also nonbinary. just in case that's important context #by mixed* i mean i'm asian+asian but diff ethnicities lol. i dont have a white bone in my body god bless<3 #my whiteness is purely learned thru cultural osmosis + bcs my parents taught me english as a first language (boooo 🍅🍅🍅)#also i live in the global south so i think EYE know a thing or two about being gnc in a society of rigid awful gender roles‼️#so likeee i think its ridiculous that its an either-or thing #mizu can be nonbinary while still being a woman of colour ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#also ummm as much as i love queer themes and gay people i wish people would talk more about the racial otherness / community aspect #as mentioned in the post above #you don't need to read bhabha's whole book btw but just take a look at some of his ideas and you'll get what im talking about #like the fact that the fandom mostly ignores those themes in the story makes me feel like :( :/#cuz to me THATS the thing that spoke to me most and its a shame that its just not talked about enough #i mean i know why thats likely the case. but still.#whoops im rambling again 🤪#fandom.rtf #shut up haydar #meta dissertations.pdf

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