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#Sinclair (and therefore Valen)
fancoloredglasses · 2 years
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[RERUN] Secret Origins of the Superfriends (Fun with Paradoxes)
[All images are owned by DC Comics and Hannah-Barbara. I hope I’m too small-fry to sue...]
After Crisis on Infinite Earths, DC decided they needed a platform to showcase all the (remaining) heroes in their universe (especially since they rewrote their history, deleted a number of Golden Age heroes since they were more or less the same in the modern age (such as the Golden Age Superman, Wonder Woman, Batman, and Green Arrow), and inserted heroes from other universes into the current one (such as Captain Marvel, Blue Beetle, and the Freedom Fighters (sorry Captain Carrot)), so they created a series called Secret Origins (as well as another stripped down series called Who’s Who, but we’re not discussing that here)
Which brings us to this RERUN. years before Crisis, we had a little episode of Challenge of the Superfriends that, for the first time in the series, explored the humble beginnings of some of their more powerful (for Superfriends, anyway) heroes.
If you would like to see the original review, you may do so here.
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Time travel is a VERY slippery slope. Doing so can change the past to alter the future (like Back to the Future), can cause alternate timelines that branch off from your own (such as the JJ Abrams Star Trek films), or can be “destiny” for your timeline (Such as what happened to Jeffery Sinclair/”Valen” and Babylon 4 in Babylon 5)
As long as the rules of time travel aren’t altered within the context (How did old Biff return to 2015-prime after altering his past?), people are generally OK with whatever BS a franchise comes up with to explain how time travel functions.
Then there’s this mess. Watching the Legion of Doom commit atrocities to continuity is enough to make anyone’s head hurt.
If you would like to see the episode, it’s available on Amazon Prime once you pass the paywall.
Lex Luthor unveils his latest scheme to (say it with me) “destroy the Superfriends once and for all!”: going back in time to remove...
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...Superman...
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...Wonder Woman...
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...and Green Lantern from existence.
OK, I’m just gonna stop right there and point out the obvious: Bizarro is an imperfect clone of Superman and therefore needs Superman for himself to exist, and Lex Luthor became a super villain because of Superman. How the HELL does he manage to counter history erasing himself and Bizarro? Good question…one that is never even addressed!
Anyway, back to our paradox…Luthor has learned the secret origins of these three heroes (shouldn’t Sinestro already know Green Lantern’s? I mean, he used to be a Green Lantern before Hal Jordan exposed him as a tyrant. You mean he never told anyone before this?) and intends on making sure these origins never happen by going back in time and interrupting their origin stories.
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At Themyscira Paradise Island, Cheetah disguises herself as an Amazon (you’d think Hippolyta would recognize all the Amazons…I mean they’ve lived for 3,000 years so they should know each other fairly well…but then she didn’t recognize her own daughter behind a mask, so…) and cheats (Cheetah cheats? I swear, sometimes these jokes write themselves!) to win the tournament that would have sent Diana to the World of Man to become...
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...Wonder Woman.
In the present, Wonder Woman (in the Invisible Jet) and Batman & Robin (in the Batplane) put out a raging forest fire, but as the three celebrate a Job Well Done...
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...she vanishes and Batman and Robin congratulate each other on a Job Well Done (without help from any of the other Superfriends), their memories of Wonder Woman removed.
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Next up is Green Lantern. Just as Abin Sur’s ring is about to transport Hal Jordan’s flight simulator to him, Luthor shows up and urges Jordan to evacuate, taking his place in the simulator as it is carried away. (wait, it homed in on the simulator, not Jordan? Does that mean the simulator should have become Green Lantern?) Abin Sur gives the ring to Lex, making him…
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...The Green Luthor! “Evil and injustice will never be the same! MUHAHAHA!”
Meanwhile in the present Hawkman, Black Vulcan, and Green Lantern are making repairs to the Justice League (shouldn’t that be “Superfriends”?) satellite. They congratulate each other on a Job Well Done when...
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...Green Lantern vanishes and Black Vulcan tells Hawkman the two of them should be heading back, their memories of Green Lantern erased.
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Finally, on to Superman. The Hall of Doom fires a beam that diverts young Kal-El’s rocket to a planet with a red sun so he won’t have any powers (why not destroy the rocket? Don’t tell me Green Luthor now has a code against murder)
Back in the present, it’s Superman Day in Metropolis as the Man of Steel poses in a parade in his honor with Hawkman when...
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...Superman vanishes and the parade for Hawkman Day continues on.
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Returning to the present, the Hall of Doom appears over the Hall of Justice and immediately ensnares the Superfriends in a tractor beam. (you’d think they’d have defenses against that sort of thing…) Luthor announces he has a gun that can mind control them to destroy one another (you’d think he could have just used that on Superman and Wonder Woman then  sicced them on everyone else)...
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...but imprisons the Flash, Batman, Robin, and Black Vulcan for later (you know, it’s that kind of crap that defeats them every time. You’d think they’d learn…)
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As Aquaman, Hawkman, Apache Chief, and Samurai fight to the death...
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...the Flash vibrates through the wall of his cell (you would think Captain Cold would have installed some device to counter that. I swear, it’s not the Superfriends that defeat the Legion of Doom, it’s laziness!) and frees the others. Rather than rushing to free the others before they kill each other, they poke around the Hall of Doom’s computer (no password? I mean, I know this is the 70s but even then people knew about stealing data! Hell, Luthor and Brainiac probably do it all the time when they’re bored!)...
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...and discover the secret plot to erase three people no one in the room had ever heard of from history (wouldn’t erasing them from history erase them from the computer’s memory as well?) They take the cartridge containing the plot (convenient!) and escape. Let’s hope Aquaman, Apache Chief, Samurai, and Hawkman can survive long enough for these guys to remember they’re in danger.
At the Hall of Justice, the Justice League (ARGH! Make up your damn minds, writers!) computer realizes there are holes in its memory files large enough to fit three Superfriends (again, that shouldn’t be the case! History should have filled those holes) The four decide to go back in time and reverse the damage.
They go back in time in their various ways (OK, stop! Luthor and Brainiac could have used their genius to make a time machine...
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Flash has the ability to travel fast enough to break the time barrier to reach Themyscira Paradise Island...
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Black Vulcan is unique to Superfriends, so the full extent of his powers are unknown…so sure, we’ll say time travel is theoretically possible for him so he can save Green Lantern...
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...but are you telling me Wayne Enterprises has developed a Bat Flux Capacitor AND a Bat-warp drive for the Batplane so they can reach Krypton?! Bullshit!)...
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...and undo the damage done (so? The Legion has a goddamn time machine! Why not go back and murder them all as babies?! Plus now the Legion knows GL’s identity, so the can just kill him in his sleep!)
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Back in the present, Superman, Wonder Woman, and GL reappear (so how do they account for being missing for the past 15 minutes?) and they finally realize there are 4 other Superfriends that have probably pounded each other into goo by now.
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Somehow, despite the fact that they were present to witness their plans failing, the Legion are surprised to see 3 more Superfriends than there should be (and surprisingly even Aquaman is still alive, despite having no fish to ask for help!) and are handily defeated...
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...but Luthor already had an escape plan ready as the episode ends.
OK, after trying to wrap my head around so many holes in the way time travel works in this episode, I need to go down an entire bottle of painkillers and a tequila-meister.
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Ivanova: David, do you know what it means to be Anla’Shok?
David: be gay… do crimes only if you say it’s okay?
Ivanova: exactly.
Delenn: not in the slightest!
Ivanova: be gay, have a sense of honor, and do crime if I say it’s okay.
Delenn: better. not great, but better.
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girlbossk · 3 years
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gotta set out some flarn for time travel sinclair in his chair that they set out for him that technically he could actually sit in because he hasn’t time travelled yet
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fancoloredglasses · 5 years
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Secret Origins of the Super Friends (AKA “Fun With Paradoxes”)
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(Thanks to Superfriends Wiki)
I have finally found a free steaming site that has a treasure trove of TV animation! Now I can finally tear down all the great/horrible Saturday morning cartoons I grew up with! And I’m starting with a doozy!
First off, time travel is a VERY slippery slope. Doing so can change the past to alter the future (like Back to the Future), can cause alternate timelines that branch off from your own (such as the JJ Abrams Star Trek films), or can be “destiny” for your timeline (Such as what happened to Jeffery Sinclair/”Valen” and Babylon 4 in Babylon 5). As long as the rules of time travel aren’t altered within the context (How did old Biff return to 2015-prime after altering his past?) people are generally OK with whatever BS a franchise comes up with to explain how time travel functions.
Then there’s this mess. Watching the Legion of Doom commit atrocities to continuity is enough to make anyone’s head hurt.
If you would like to see the episode, you may on Watch Cartoons Online
Lex Luthor unveils his latest scheme to (say it with me) destroy the Superfriends once and for all: going back in time to remove Superman, Wonder Woman, and Green Lantern from existence. OK, I’m just gonna stop right there and point out the obvious: Bizarro is an imperfect clone of Superman and therefore needs Superman for himself to exist, and Lex Luthor became a super villain because of Superman. How the HELL does he manage to counter the erasure of himself and Bizarro? Good question...one that is never even addressed!
Anyway, back to our paradox...Luthor has learned the secret origins of these three heroes (shouldn’t Sinestro already know Green Lantern’s? I mean, he used to be a Green Lantern before Hal Jordan exposed him as a tyrant. You mean he never told anyone before this?) and intends on making sure these origins never happen.
At Themyscira Paradise Island, Cheetah disguises herself as an Amazon (you’d think Hippolyta would recognize all the Amazons...I mean they’ve lived for 3,000 years so they should know each other fairly well...but then she didn’t recognize her own daughter behind a mask, so...) and cheats (Cheetah cheats? I swear, sometimes these jokes write themselves!) to win the tournament that would have sent Diana to the World of Man to become Wonder Woman.
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(Thanks to comicbook.com)
Next up is Green Lantern. Just as Abin Sur’s ring is about to transport Hal Jordan’s flight simulator to him, Luthor shows up and urges Jordan to evacuate, taking his place in the simulator as it is carried away. (wait, it homed in on the simulator, not Jordan? Does that mean the simulator should have become Green Lantern?) Abin Sur gives the ring to Lex, making him...
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(Thanks to Mego Museum)
The Green Luthor! “Evil and injustice will never be the same! MUHAHAHA!”
Finally, on to Superman. The Hall of Doom fires a beam that diverts young Kal-El’s rocket to a planet with a red sun so he won’t have any powers (why not destroy the rocket? Don’t tell me Green Luthor now has a code against murder...)
Returning to the present, the Hall of Doom appears over the Hall of Justice and immediately ensnare the Superfriends in a tractor beam. (you’d think they’d have defenses against that sort of thing...) Luthor announces he has a gun that can mind control them to destroy one another (you’d think he could have just used that on Superman and Wonder Woman and sicced them on everyone else...), but imprisons Flash, Batman, Robin, and Black Vulcan for later (you know, it’s that kind of crap that defeats them every time. You’d think they’d learn...)
As Aquaman, Hawkman, Apache Chief, and Samurai fight to the death, Flash vibrates through the wall of his cell (wait, you would think Captain Cold would have installed some device to counter that. I swear, it’s not the Superfriends that defeat the Legion of Doom, it’s laziness!) and frees the others. Rather than rushing to free the others before they kill each other, they poke around the Hall of Doom’s computer (no password? I mean, I know this is the 70s but even then people knew about stealing data! Hell, Luthor and Brainiac probably do it all the time when they’re bored!) and discover the secret plot to erase three people no one in the room had ever heard of from history. (wouldn’t erasing them from history erase them from the computer’s memory as well?) They take the cartridge containing the plot (convenient!) and escape. Let’s hope the other four can survive long enough for these guys to remember them.
At the Hall of Justice, the Justice League (ARGH! Make up your damn minds, writers!) computer realizes there are holes in its memory files large enough to fit three Superfriends (again, that shouldn’t be the case! History should have filled those holes). The four decide to go back in time and reverse the damage.
They go back in time in their various ways (OK, stop! Luthor and Brainiac could have used their genius to make a time machine, Flash has the ability to travel fast enough to break the time barrier, Black Vulcan is unique to Superfriends, so his powers are unknown...sure, we’ll say time travel is theoretically possible for him, but are you telling me Wayne Enterprises has developed a Bat Flux Capacitor for the Batplane?! Bullshit!) and undo the damage done (so? The Legion has a goddamn time machine! Why not go back and murder them all as babies?! Plus now the Legion knows GL’s identity, so just kill him in his sleep!)
Back in the present, Superman, Wonder Woman, and GL reappear (so how do they account for being missing for the past 15 minutes?) and they finally realize there are 4 Superfriends that have probably pounded each other into goo by now.
Somehow, despite the fact that they were present to witness their plans failing, the Legion are surprised to see 3 more Superfriends than there should be (and surprisingly even Aquaman is still alive, despite having no fish to ask for help!) and are handily defeated, but Luthor already had an escape plan ready.
OK, after trying to wrap my head around so many holes in the way time travel works in this episode, I need to go down an entire bottle of painkillers and a tequilameister.
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