#She understands my anxiety perfectly bc she also has it so she KNOWS. What it's like

[se1f]

hiii, i hope you’re doing well!! so i just found about your acc two days ago or so, and i went through your rambles/asks etc. And i just wanted to let u know, you made things so much more simpler. and to everyone who wants understand ND, you have to come up with your own understanding of it. Take everything from others as pointers and make your own perspective of it. Tbh it requires enquiry with yourself and actually make sense of it. I actually knew abt ND when i was around 16, but i knew it as some philosophy. When i got to know ND a month ago, i transitioned from LOA (the 3D/4D 😵‍💫) honestly i felt an impeding doom for 2 days, bc it was very hard to grasp. Then i read about neville’s power of awarness, the first two chapters, it gives insight about how consciousness is the only reality ig (i forgot the exact wording). After some pondering, I got to completely understand, I am that. And this ver of myself that I don’t like, the problems she has are not mine rather of this illusory K (let’s call her K). The life i want is just another illusion, and i’m merely shifting my awareness to of that one. Ngl, worries sweep me over, doubts, anxiety all that, but I hold the ground that it’s all just my mind, and the thoughts, my awarness begs to differ. For example, I’ve a deadline to submit a project, TBH my this illusory K self is anxious but i know that everything works out in my favor and it’ll okay as it always will be.

I know everyone here wants their desired life/better life, but you’ve to know that you’re not changing your 3D, you’re just choosing another illusion which is better for you. This ego centered self can’t do anything and that isn’t a doer. You shift your awareness, that’s what you’ll be seeing in your life.

OMG I RAMBLED SM, i hope i’m correct? Just let me know if I got my idea right? Also can I be 👿 anon lmao? jsut want to share some of my insights and “success stories” if you will

Thank you so much!!!!

hehe, you rambled perfectly!! you deserve a standing ovation, anon! i hope your project went well <3 ofc you can be 👿 anon!! i loved everything you said, but i just want to add on by saying illusionary k's problems don't even exist! they just seemingly appear to :) you probably know that because you're so clever, but i want to just state it for any newcomers! so not only are illusionary k's problems not yours- they aren't even occurring!

i can't wait to receive more asks from you, anon!! i hope you had a lovely day <3

#asks #experience

[hotluncheddie]

Do you think Robin 'I don't have a strong grasp of social cues' Buckley was relieved that Steve would just tell her like it is? Like when she's babbling while El has a bit of mindflayer in her leg he just calmly tells her that's not helping he doesn't snap at her he understands what's she'd trying to do but can also see how everyone else is reacting and knows it's not what's needed. And Steve 'youre an idiot' Harrington feeling the same that she just explains things without making him feel like an idiot? Like when he's freaking out about the buttons in the elevator and she acknowledges his point that yes they did work previously he has a point about that button they won't work now because they don't have authorisation now from the Russians key card. Do you? Do you think about how much they need each other and just work perfectly together so quickly and how lonely they must've been before

im gonna be real with you lovely anon. i do not give stobin enough of my metal juices, the thought about them are not thunk at the velocity they deserve.

but that changes now bc u r so right.

these examples are so good!! they're so perfect, so meant to be. if i think about how lonely it must have been for them before i might get genuinely sad. so i’m not even gonna go there.

i just think steve would come from a world with a lot of subtext, a lot of public vs private faces and a lot of grinning and barring it. so i feel like the simplicity of being around robin, having it all out on the table; how she feels, what she's thinking, what she likes and doesn't like being so so obvious. i bet its really nice, really freeing for steve. that you can just be, be yourself.

and i think robin would also come from a world with a lot of subtext but subtext she feels like she’s on the outside of, never given the cheat sheet. plus she’s gay so that’s adds a level of anxiety to the subtext she is already struggling with. has someone figured her out? is anyone else like her and she just can’t see it? very stressful. but steve just is, he knows how to navigate people, even if they don’t react to him the same way they used to. he has all the flash cards and he’ll share no problem.

also i think steve is very sensible with a strong moral compass, ultimately hes very kind. and robin is smart but not always people smart, but again she ultimately has a strong sense of self and confidence in her own thoughts and abilities. they’re such a good mix of robins creative thinking and steves linear thinking. one will notice what the other lacks but they’re confident and comfortable enough to voice it in the first place. similar enough but also different enough. they fill in each others gaps. perfect love recipe i think.

and the start! the spark! u put them together in the neutral space of scoops ahoy. they both need to be there, hate being there and look stupid. they’re constantly around each other and have the ability to constantly surprise each other. it’s a bestie recipe made in heaven.

plus they’re both kinda mean when they want to be, much easier to not get offended if ur natural instinct is to be kinda mean back.

but i think platonic love can be a hard one sometimes. so it’s lovely that theres them for representation.

ty for sending me this <3

#ask #hotlunch #<3 #platonic stobin #stobin #this is so ramble ramble #hope it made sense??? #love getting asks #annon or not it’s crazy but amazing #like u had a thought and then thought of me??? #crazy cookey wild wild wild #ideas

[whalesforhands]

i want to say so many things abt stsg & mc in dyf au so bad omg. i feel like their characters aren’t getting across and i don’t feel like talking in fic writing language i just want to vomit everything out

and also bcs nobody talks to me in asks :(

dyf IS an alternative universe where gojo and geto get together late first year/early second year if you haven’t already noticed.

i headcanon it would be around christmas when it’s so called ‘official’

it’s just?? kind of decided unanimously one day that they get together since they get each other so well? unsaid lovers kinda thing

dyf!mc actually assumed they were already dating during the start of the first year. its definitely love at first sight when they butt heads as often as they do right? she swears that ppl with that type of relationship either end up in a grave or in bed together

i’ve said this before but stsg’s relationship is something i view as far more than friendship or just a romance. there is this… unsaid understanding between them despite their differences. i imagine them as mirror images of the other, two halves of a whole, soulmates ykwim

everyone thinks gojo is the horny one, but it’s geto x190%

when do all 3 get together? officially, not yet. third year aus are typically them teetering ON romantic relationship, but definitely holds no water yet. but there is an increase in skinship that dyf mc had settled comfortably into and thinks it’s perfectly normal.

i mean, she does that with shoko right?? what’s the diff if she does it with these 2 that she loves just as much (and may or may not have a crush on)

anyway, back to dyf mc

i don’t know if it’s super obvious to everyone yet, but dyf mc definitely has some degree of social anxiety and depression, explaining the way she pulls back and gets lost in her thoughts instead to feel safe

she understands what she feels, but it’s very very overwhelming u get?

mc is also shown to be sensitive to cursed energy if u also didn’t notice loll,,,, to the point she can pinpoint the 3. or is it just because she has trained herself to feel for their specific auras hmmm??

anyway. since stsg are ‘dating’, she does try very hard to suppress anything romantic she tends to feel, and WILL convince herself that lITERALLY anything they try on her is STRICTLY PLATONIC bcs she just can’t believe these 2 will ever like her in THAT manner yk

and shoko? shoko is single. shoko is pretty. shoko is flirting with her. but since stsg treat her LIKE THAT, she thinks this is what happens when you’re getting close to others right?

she likes it a lot. she hopes they continue to stay close to her. (LMAO DENSE ASF)

tbh i didn’t intend for shoko to be so involved with mc. i wrote it that way bcs i had an equally huge crush on her and it just integrated itself naturally into my writing LOL

also, the smut threesome fics were all practice fics lolllll. i’ve never written threesomes in my life and they were my first cracks at it

something special for getting all the way here bcs im just rambling haha. i’m trying to get ppl to interact with me i’m so sad and lonely writing all by myself

in the bully! satosugu au

gojo and mc were actually childhood friends! imagine that. growing up in the neighbourhood with that spoilt, but kind little white-haired brat but him moving away soon after

only to see him again when you’re way, way older!and that other black-haired guy that he seems to be super close with. you’re gonna be friends again, right?

and he’s never been so excited to see you! he’s so much taller now and his arms are so strong, so different from the weak chubby flab of the child him that you thought was adorable, so you’d always ask your mom for extra snacks to eat together!

but now he’s literally picking you up, your feet barely touching the ground as he holds you so so so tightly, as if afraid you’d disappear

it’s nice catching up with him, sitting with him and a close friend of his, geto suguru at lunch, following them to the convenience store after school to get a quick snack

only for him to ignore you the next week when you bound up to him smiling, greeting him with excited cheer. he quirks a brow at you, shoving you out of the way before walking away…

what… did you do wrong? what’s wrong with him?

#dyf au #nvytalks #cyh au

[leviackermansgoodgirl]

Bare with me on this yall cause it's my first legit written out post here. (Has 97% to do with Levi Ackerman tho)

💥TRIGGER WARNING💥 mentions of Death, Car Accodent, CHSA/SA, cursing, mental health

I'm going through what feels like a living hell right now and thankfully as always Captain Levi to the fuckin rescue!

I found out last week that my 29yo cousin passed away in a horrible car accident and this week I was then told he was on the wrong side of the road at 3am on his way to work and had to be identified through dental records as the vehicle caught on fire and his body was burned beyond recognition... my real world boyfriend found out last night that his 12yo female cousin has been repeatedly assaulted by her foster father for we don't know how long. Plus my bf also got hacked on FB and started getting cyber bullied and roasted.

HERES WHERE CAPTAIN LEVI COMES IN

So to stay sane personally, I've basically been deriving my comfort from writing in my book that's about our dear captain and y/n (aka myself too) where Levi is listening to my character explain about being Beaten to death by a horrific boyfriend but she's saved when doctors bring her back and she's dissociated explaining this event while he's trying to control himself not to go hunt that bastard down...

Anyways I got to thinking (my real world bf has focused mainly on his problems much less on me or my grief and even when he does it's not in the ways I need...) I feel like with how perceptive Levi is paired with his own trauma filled life experiences, that he'd basically be the perfect partner especially for anyone that has/is dealing with trauma.

Levi would immediately notice when somethings 'off' whether it's anxiety, depression, ptsd, a breakdown etc. He'd immediately ask you what's wrong or going on bc he knows you aren't okay and gods help you if you try to say 'Oh its nothing/I'm fine' you're 100% getting the arched eyebrow look. He'd sit you down and ask you what you need or what he cam do to help you right now so that you're completely in control and his actions will match your words perfectly because he cares about your needs and understands how difficult it can be to bring up when somethings up.

He'd focus singularly on YOU NOT HIMSELF OR HIS PROBLEMS BECAUSE YOURE HIS PRIORITY RN! He never interrupts you or points the conversation or cathartic session towards himself because HE KNOWS YOU NEED THIS! When you stop talking because you're getting emotional and know you're about to break, he'll grab onto and hold you tight against his chest stroking your hair soothingly telling you

"It's okay babygirl. Just let it out you don't have to be strong right now I've got you."

And not a single piece of you doubts him which allows you to be fully vulnerable.

I feel like levi would've actually studied everything he could about all different manner of trauma, it's effects on the brain/emotions/ personality... so you never have to explain or even question yourself because when he notices you beating yourself up emotionally he will explain why what you're feeling and how you're behaving is perfectly understandable and 100% valid while reminding you not to be so hard on yourself.

"Show yourself the grace, compassion, and understanding that you give to everyone else in the world you encounter love. " he'd remind you.

I really need Levi to be beside me right now but I fully admit just thinking about having such an incredible perfect partner helped me so much!

PS: sorry for the long winded cathartic spill yall in really hurting tonight and Levi is where so much of my comfort is based right now.

Love yall!!

#levi ackerman #levi aot #captain levi #levi x you #I Need Levi #Levi Ackerman is Perfect #My Therapy is Levi

[zoophagist]

Do you have any specific headcanons for your Renfield's Dracula, anything at all? How much does he have in common with the BoR dude?

hmmm, good question! in the respect that this is a roleplay blog i try not to get to invested in the minutiae of headcanons on any character other than my own, because i love playing against all kinds of different versions that other people flesh out. but with a character like dracula, that is so crucial to renfield's life, i'd be lying if i said i didn't have any thoughts or preferences. so here's what i got:

not the first vampire. you aren't SPECIAL, count. yeah, i just think it's more spooky and ominous to have this guy you think is the biggest and baddest and then have to come to the harrowing thought of "what evil begot this evil" you know? and dracula's maker is still out there somewhere (just probably better at being a vampire than he is). personally i'm into the lore tidbit that killing a vampire kills all the vampires that it turned, so dracula's creator MUST be alive undead still, or else dracula would be dust along with them.

sophistication. i love a suave dracula, refined, elegant, a little uncanny. big hulking draculas don't do much for me, and i think that the novel's vibe of "he mimics civility and poise so perfectly you might miss he's the monster until you get too close" is best suited by a dracula who's not the tallest or the most muscle-bound. then his strength and ferocity are even more of a surprise when he reveals them. this is also fun in contrast to a beefy renfield.

inhuman forms. personally the mist is the one i'm most obsessed with, but bats and other such creatures of the night slap too. since you ask about tBoR overlap, i do like the idea that dracula's forms are much more varied than what stoker shows us, and some broader shape shifting abilities are very fun. i love a dracula that's sort of unknowable and myriad because it gives renfield more fodder for both worship of the inhuman and paranoia about the omnipresence of a master he may not understand or recognize at first.

the ur-mind meld. so in canon dracula has the power to see within the minds and senses of those he feeds on or turns. i like to headcanon that power further, letting him see/use the minds of those bitten by vampires he's made. so for example, dracula turns lucy and can exchange thoughts with her, and if lucy turns someone else, dracula can reach through to that person as well. it's all about the shared blood connection, baby. this also sort of draws on the logic of like... chains of command. if your boss is lucy, and her boss is dracula, effectively your boss is also dracula, as she would be bound to him, and you are bound to her, binding you to him... i love making a messed up little hivemind <3 other vampires & familiars can feel these connections to one another too, though more faintly. for them it's less like dracula's direct access to their minds, more an awareness of another being's presence in the same web of vampiric consciousness that all centers on dracula. maybe they have a stronger sense of empathy with one another, or can pick up each others' distress or warnings.

the I.N.B. (international network of brides). i like to headcanon dracula having a much larger number of progeny to spread around the world and do his business. first, it's just FUN. second, it works with the anxieties of vampire 'infiltration' in the book. third, it- well, frankly it makes my life a lot easier for how renfield becomes a familiar with telepathic dracula-alarms. see, if we accept both the I.N.B. and the above point about the psychic link vampires, familiars, and victims share, then i can have renfield get bitten by a bride in england (hello milady in tbor) and be psychically connected to dracula as a servant without having to break the canon of dracula never having been to england before! bc that canon is SUPER significant to me! on that note:

homebody. dracula has not traveled significantly in all the time of his undeath. i think it's just really important to stoker's novel that dracula has never tried something like his attack on england before and is actively learning how to pull it off as it happens. so when i think of dracula, i'm thinking of a guy who hasn't left the flyable-in-one-night distance of his castle since becoming a vampire. it's why his immediate area has become so unworkable for him; he's over-used it, everyone nearby knows what he is , and they've been learning ways to protect themselves from him for years. it's getting very hard indeed to keep himself and his three local brides fed around these parts!

schrodinger's bite. i have multiple, contradictory headcanons about if/when/how often renfield has been fed on by dracula, and if you don't look in the box to check, they're all equally true and correct at the same time. :) but i shift between them for whatever works in certain verses/interactions. for instance if i'm writing with a dracula who's never left transylvania until the harker incident? cool, dracula and renfield have never met face to face and renfield's only had contact with brides. no pre-england dracula bite. writing with a dracula who's from a source version that lets him travel more, maybe through parts of europe and asia? cool, renfield spent a little time in amsterdam where he got bitten at least once by dracula. both these versions are true and neither of them is. that's just how it be.

dracula's bite. every vampire lore has to talk about what being bitten is like, right? it's mandatory. i enjoy media that plays into the eroticism of the bite, but i think that an angle of plain, straight "it feels good" is BORING and LAME. what are we here for if it isn't also agonizing and making your fight or flight kick in??? i like to imagine the count's bite as an initial stab of pain and terror but then the sensations blur and the fight drains out of the victim, not just from blood loss, but from dracula's manipulative power, lulling them into foggy uncertainty and complacency.

dracula's bite but make it FAMILIARS. when dracula bites someone that he's exchanged blood with (a familiar), there's still the pain of the bite and the looming mind-haze, but because their minds and blood are already linked, there's this sort of reciprocal sensation-sharing that passes between them. for example, if dracula bites renfield, dracula can experience a sense of what renfield feels being fed on, and renfield can expereince what dracula feels feeding on him. this is why a familiar might crave being fed on in spite of themselves - the intoxicating sensation of being both the hunter and the hunted at once is rather heady. victims don't have that blood/mind link, and so are trapped in the horror of the bite, while familiars have had their senses opened to another layer of awareness and connection that can turn being fed on into a pleasure.

those are the things i can think of right now, anyway. but to specifically hone in on the tbor angle and answer that directly, i mean... some? some significant overlap? i think i consider the stoker novel more gospel that tim's 'gospel of dracula' (i think i'm SO clever with my wordplay), so stoker lore supersedes tbor for me if they're ever in conflict. for instance, even though tbor has some strong subtext that milady is 1 to 1 just dracula, i play looser with that in order to keep the stoker canon that dracula has never been capable of going to england before. but in places where tbor can add on top of the dracula novel without contradicting it, i'll use it (example: the above point about his range of shapeshifting!)

i hope this is a satisfying answer! i don't have a lot of, like, physical description hcs or minute behavior hcs, so i hope lots of lore-heavy stuff pleases you instead, anon.

#||x LET ME ENTREAT YOU OH LET ME IMPLORE YOU! [ answered asks ] #;; LORD & MASTER [ dracula ] #||x IF YOU WISH TO STUDY ZOOPHAGY [ headcanons ]

[aloev3rathings]

okay 3 am shitpost about my hunter headcanons (I swear I SWEAR I AM STILL WORKING ON MY FIC ALOE VERA I am just very tired but I want y’all to know I am trying my best 😭) but yeah some headcanon about My Son TM:

1. his gloves aren’t some great terribly tragic secret (I still write it that way but). he has dermotillomania bc anxiety. the gloves both keep him from feeling embarrassed by the scars and also keep him picking at the skin around his fingers and knuckles. I deal with this on a daily basis, so it seems like it would fit with the amount of stress he deals on a daily basis bc yeah, it kind of sucks when you go to shake someone’s hand and they can feel so dry and peeling your hands are and you start overthinking that they absolutely notice and it drives you up the wall and it just makes you want to pick more—

2. my personal belief is that amity cuts hunter’s hair. whole transformation from grief and wanting to separate yourself from who you were before into someone entirely your own; amity vibes with that. cue some much needed bonding bc these two are more similar than they’d let themselves admit, and also also! it shows hunter trusts her, bc you know, sharp objects near his very vulnerable face (that already been at the hands of abuse) and Amity could easily harm him if she wanted and please, PLEASE DANA I JUST NEED ONE SEQUENCE OF THEM TALKING AGAIN, ECLIPSE LAKE WAS NOT ENOUGH FOR ME PLEEEEASE—

3. while hunter is perfectly capable of reciting information he has consumed at an alarming rate verbatim, he will forget to unplug the coffee pot after using it. or turning off the lights when he leaves the room. it’s just small details he forgets when his one track mind is focusing on something that has all his attention atm, and he’d prolly forget to tie his shoes if flapjack/luz/willow/etc. weren’t there to remind him.

4. when luz shows him how to work an MP3 player (iPod/whatever), he is enamoured by all sorts of genres. personal favorites are pop rock, metal, hipster folk, phonk, neoclassical, and anime/video game music. he’s kind of confused by trap music, but he vibes with it, even if he can’t understand the references in the lyrics sometimes. edm and dubstep kind of hurt his ears, but if he’s working on a particular project, it will zone him out from the world. he unironically enjoys nickelback.

5. once in the human realm, during the hiatus with the rest of the hexsquad, and he’s not having to fight, his body just kind of. sags on him. like he’s so used to having to be ready for confrontation that he’s unused to what it feels like when his body is just bone tired. he’s now aware of his joints aching and his muscles sore and how it feels when his knuckles crack and it’s just a lot of sensation for him all at once that he forgot he used to ignore it all.

6. that being said. for months he is unable to just sit still. hunter was used to having time for himself in the evenings after days at the castle bc his days were always packed with tasks and missions and reports that now he has all this time to just. be. and it’s kind of overwhelming for him? Luz offers some hobbies to keep him occupied, but he burns through them like nothing, a collection of random skills (legos? video games? puzzles? anything with a destined end point he just goes through them like nothing). and then Vee hands him some slime she bought on a whim and he just blisses out. he gets to put lotion on his hands and play and poke and squish slime and turn off his brain for a while. cloud slimes are his favorite bc of the drizzles.

that’s all I got for now. i think I’ll share some other random headcanons of the rest of the hexsquad next time!

#the owl house #hunter toh #aloe’s talking to the void #headcanons

[shima-draws]

Nothin like watching Legally Blonde with your favorite hoes to make the day better

#Today's been AWFUL lol I literally had to come home from work early bc I was so. Emotionally unstable #My boss looked at me and she was like yes god please go home and take a nap. For me #She's too good to me-- #She understands my anxiety perfectly bc she also has it so she KNOWS. What it's like #Anyway #Had a breakdown. Came home early. Struggled through the afternoon #Then I said hey anybody want to stream with me #And Dai and Athena were like YEAH!!! #So we sat and watched Legally Blonde and it was incredible #I have them hooked now >:))))))))))) #Me; cackling: ALL ACCORDING TO KEIKAKU (Note: Keikaku means plan) #Friends #Shima speaks #Also I have a zine deadline but I am literally. So wrecked I can't draw rn gnfjsdkas #So I asked for an extension--hopefully they don't mind-- #I'M USUALLY ON TOP OF ZINE DEADLINES BUT HHGHGHG. I CANNOT TODAY #I'm glad I watched the musical tho it always helps. Always. It makes me smile every time I watch it

[inexplicably-spookified]

hi i have thoughts and opinions about mr quotation marks cave story

...that i am putting under a readmore to not clog up dashes

so first part, i wanna talk about his canon characterisation - it's not much, but it's there:

- he doesn't have much hesitation on who or what he fights

- doesn't seem to have much understanding or doesn't care about taking things that don't belong to him if it'll help him progress

- however, he's capable of being curious and caring about people - he asks several residents of mimiga village about sue even before he knows who she is (albeit most likely because he overheard her name in kazuma's transmissions), and most importantly steps away from the core, his target, when misery threatens sue's life, showing he can prioritise others' lives over his mission

- zett (the old mimiga in the plantation) hints at this, describing how some robots during the war seemingly understood the mimiga, and he believed they 'possessed hearts and souls'

- while he doesn't emote much, he's visibly looking kinda angry when fighting misery in the credits art - and he's using king's sword

also this is debatably canon but if quote's the one narrating stuff like inventory descriptions then:

- he notices the silver locket must've been dear to someone from the wear on it

- thinks itoh is a 'big fat coward' (LMAO)

- describes curly as 'the only person he trusts' and hopes to see her again

second part, my personality takes:

- doesn't like to speak, both due to some lingering physical damage making it a little tricky (he trails off into static a lot unless he's concentrating and it frustrates the hell out of him) as well as his general quiet nature

- when he does speak out loud, it's very, very to the point and short sentences, prefers to communicate through gestures or radio transmissions, and later on learns some sign language

- incredibly bad at talking about his feelings/trauma. curly and rarely sue/kazuma can draw it out of him sometimes but it takes a lot of effort and he usually clams up again pretty quickly. he has issues :(

- post-island he has a lot of anxiety about not being there to protect people from all the times he's arrived just too late to stop something bad from happening, and when he's around others he likes to know where they are at all times otherwise he gets worried

- talked about it earlier but he doesn't emote much, and has his own subtle ways of expressing his mood/showing affection. his equivalent of telling someone he likes them a lot is literally just sitting quietly in their general vicinity lmao. will get up and follow you if you move. he's like a dog.

- it's a general quirk with some kinds of learning AI but both he and curly have an unconscious habit of mimicking random habits of others that they spend a lot of time around - ie. if he's around someone who rocks on their feet a lot he'll start to do it too without even realising it. curly has a lot of slightly mimiga-like habits as a result.

- initially he went along with helping stop the doctor bc he just. didn't know how to say no - nobody ever really told him he could, or gave him a choice otherwise. has mixed feelings about the fact that the only time someone actually asked him what he wanted was kazuma asking him if he wanted to escape the island (he said no because by that point he was kinda personally invested - he promised booster he'd rescue sue, promised king he'd avenge him, wanted to beat up mis/balrog/the doctor for what they'd done, etc etc etc)

- because of this, he doesn't really like to be called a hero/compared to arthur as he feels he doesn't deserve it since he was just following orders in a sense

- he's a bit better at saying no post-island but can still be very easily talked into doing dumb stuff. a little naive lol. sue takes advantage of this a lot but tones it back after momorin gets mad at her for teaching him swear words.

- unlike curly he doesn't fidget much when bored, is perfectly happy to just sit still and silently if he has to, though he does have a curious side and will inevitably get up and explore his environment

- very impulsive. if he wants to do something he will try and do it asap. not the best at anticipating consequences but it's not out of malice or stupidity, he just kinda. forgets it in the moment sometimes.

- like a crow, he picks up random stuff that he finds interesting without much thought for what it is or who might own it. his pockets are full of random keys.

- enjoys climbing up stuff ('why is quote on the kitchen counter?' 'he likes to feel tall')

- cares for the researchers and especially the sakamotos a lot, they're his favourites (after curly, of course) <3

- some mixed feelings about balrog but ultimately trusts he's redeemed. isn't quite sure at all what to think of misery.

- doesn't want to get his memories back as he trusts curly's telling the truth and has given him all the important info - his name, why he was on the island, and that he wasn't a mimiga killer - he'd rather just move on with who he is in the present rather than try and chase after his past. the two have some conflict over this but i have written way too much already so i will talk about it some other time LMAO

#cave story #squid rambles #quote #yknow what i wrote enough to put this in the main tag #anyway yaaaaahhh these are most of my Quote Thoughts #i have more but i'm tired from work so perhaps at some point i will make a part 2 #tbh i need to just stop fucking around and make characterisation headcanon posts more #i usually don't bc i feel a little self-conscious but yknow what #it's my tumblr i make the posts!!! #i WILL shove my fanlore in your faces and not just wait for opportunities to drop a headcanon or two on discord!!!

[whoree321]

the bad batch + olivia rodrigo songs

this is kinda super angsty and i didn’t necessarily mean for it to be but also idk what i expected. omega’s is cute but everyone else’s just got more sad the more I wrote lmaoooooo

Hunter: happier

hunter is def the kind of guy after a break up that wants things to be on good terms and genuinely does want to see the other person happy

like i think hunter is the most likely to want to stay friends after a break up

but he also has that pride and ego of not wanting to be replaced or wanting the next person to be better than him

he would be really torn between sincerely wanting the best for them and also battling his own discomfort and insecurity/jealousy at actually seeing them be happy without him

the balance between maturity/respect and that petty need to “win” a breakup would be tricky for hunter to manage

i feel like this song perfectly captures post break up hunter like “i hope you’re happy but don’t be happier” that’s really truly how he’d feel

Crosshair: favorite crime

i think that if crosshair got to a point in a relationship where he really cared about the other person and then they broke up he would feel very much this song

like i know the obvious choice might seem like “good 4 u” like edgy and angsty but I don’t think he would feel so aggressively angry as he would feel just really melancholy about it

like crosshair isn’t the type of guy to have meaningful relationships that he puts his heart into so if he did put himself out there and open his heart up so much he’s not gonna be able to just shut it down (even though he def will act like he doesn’t care at all even a little bit)

he’s gonna feel hurt and taken advantage of by the other person but he’s also gonna blame himself for being so vulnerable and opening himself up to that hurt

like i really feel like in the bridge where its like "everything we broke and all the trouble that we made / but i say that i hate you with a smile on my face / oh look what we became" is very crosshair. thats the bittersweetness he would feel towards someone he really loved that ended up hurting him

Tech: deja vu

this is so tech bc it is really a thorough, itemized, fuck you list

like i feel like it would be very tech to pinpoint all the parts of an ex’s new relationship that they reused from their relationship with him and just be like “hm. interesting. a big fat phony. how does that feel? to be a phony? just asking for a friend”

and that’s also something that would hurt him the most. like knowing that that person had experiences with him and learned things from/with him that he thought were meaningful and then they just go share all of it with someone else? that would be tough for him to take

the lines that specifically give me tech are in the one chorus where it’s like “that was our place / I found it first / I made the jokes you tell to her / when she’s with you” and also in the bridge when it’s like “play her piano but she doesn’t know / that I was the one who taught you billy joel”

i could just see him having detailed notes of his favorite moments of his relationship with that person (like specifically things they learned together or taught each other, new experiences they had together, etc) and then gradually having to sadly mark down when one of them has been used with someone else

it would be a really prolonged hurt knowing how much he valued those things and thought they were special and how much the other person just didn’t think that at all and continuously drives that point home

Wrecker: 1 step forward, 3 steps back

i feel wrecker here in this song bc i think of all the bad batch he is one of the most likely to really drag out a rough relationship in the hopes that it gets better

and I don’t mean that in a shady way at all. but I think crosshair’s self-preservation would kick in, tech would turn to logic and numbers and determine the costs outweigh the benefits and it’s no longer a fruitful relationship, and hunter and echo would have a weird honor code of like “I cannot allow our relationship to cause pain any longer”

but wrecker

wrecker would just be so head over heels and desperate to go back to good times bc he just loves so fully and completely. he falls fast and hard and it would be difficult for him to accept that a once-happy relationship just isn’t salvageable

the line that gets me is really in the chorus like “do you love me, want me, hate me / boy I don’t understand” bc I think that’s exactly how he would feel

wrecker would just be so sad and confused and he would know things were going wrong but it would just be such a whirlwind and he would want it to work out so much that he would let himself stay in an unhappy situation for too long

Echo: traitor

echo is an extremely loyal person and he values loyalty in a relationship so much

when he loves someone and dedicates himself to someone, it is really hard to break that bond. he will stick by them through almost anything

one of the few things that is unforgivable in a relationship to him tho is infidelity. so the hurt and anger in this song I think is something he would really feel in a relationship that ended in a similar situation

like if echo’s s/o was unfaithful to him, even if they didn’t technically cheat on him, it would really cut him to the bone. he couldn’t imagine doing that to someone else and I think he would feel that betrayal from them really deeply

the line in this one that sold it is in the last chorus when she changes it a little and goes “you gave me your word / but that didn’t matter”. like the way she says it is so hurt and that’s how he would feel

losing someone he cared about would really sting for echo (he’s already lost so much), but losing them bc they betrayed his trust, knowing that he really believed in them and he really thought they were someone he could put his faith in and then being wrong? it would be devastating to him

Omega: brutal

this song really captures that chaotic panic of being young and coming into yourself and the world

i think omega is a little young at this point to be feeling a lot of this just yet, but when those teenage hormones and angst settle in this one is gonna hit different for her

it’s just a really good depiction of that like self-consciousness and anxiety of adolescence where you’re so hyper-aware of your flaws and you feel like everyone is looking at you and judging you all the time

and in omega’s position, I imagine when she enters that time in her life it’s gonna feel pretty intense. you can already tell she feels some of it just bc of her life situation and experiences but once you add in the normal hormones and psychological changes it’s gonna be crazy

the most omega line in this song is when she goes “i’m so tired that i might / quit my job start a new life / and they’d all be so disappointed / cause who am i if not exploited?”

LIKE THATS LITERALLY HER @ THE KAMINOANS IN THE FIRST EPISODE THATS BASICALLY EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED

basically it would be her teeny bopper anthem and i love it for her

#the bad batch #bad batch #tbb #tbb crosshair #tbb hunter #tbb wrecker #the bad batch x reader #tbb echo #tbb tech #tbb x reader #tbb omega #the bad batch headcanons #tech x reader #tbb tech x reader #hunter x reader #tbb hunter x reader #crosshair x reader #tbb crosshair x reader #wrecker x reader #tbb wrecker x reader #tbb echo x reader #echo x reader

[ftm-radio]

Hey Jack, I’ve got an issue. I love my mom, and she tries to be progressive. She’s accepted me as bi but when I came out as trans she told me that I don’t need to label anything yet (I was 14 when I came out). We haven’t brought that up in a real conversation since. She’s also fallen down the JKR thought process and spouts some very common HRT and Trans misconceptions (like how HRT won’t change your muscle mass). I want to correct her and educate her but I’ve got intense anxiety about confronting people. I was thinking of texting her some links to HRT studies but I still live under her roof and we see each other often. Do you have any advice? (ps. I love your blog)

hey anon! sorry to hear about your issue. I can and will try to offer some advice, but please be aware that I don't know everything so my advice probably is far from perfect 😅

hoo boy okay I'm only partway thru & it's already long, so I'm putting it all under a cut. you're welcome, scrollers. ✌🏻

ok I've been thinking about & writing bits of this off and on through the day, so apologies if this is a little jumpy in places!

first off, regarding your anxiety — oh my god, do I understand where you're coming from. confrontation is so scary! and the idea of confronting someone you love is even scarier because it's more personal and it feels like there's way more at stake. but I think if you want to keep a close relationship with your mom it's important to face those fears eventually. otherwise, you'll just have this uncomfortable thing lurking overhead all the time, and it could sour the whole relationship.

now, if you want to try and explain everything and correct the misinformation, you don't necessarily have to do that face to face. especially if that would make you nervous and stutter and misspeak (like I do sometimes, rip). when I came out to my dad, I was terrified because he's an old cranky dude who's lowkey said some kinda bigoted things in the past, and I was terrified of how he might react when i tried telling him. so I wrote him a letter instead! I'm much better with writing than speaking, and I was able to get out all my thoughts and explain everything, including my fears of losing him and losing our relationship. and it worked. my dad and I are still as close as we've always been, maybe even a little closer now.

so I mean, the point of that ramble is that taking the conversation (or at least part of it) to a different platform (letter, email, text... hell even a powerpoint presentation could help if you're into that) is a perfectly valid and viable option.

another important thing is to definitely communicate what you're feeling. let your mom know how much you care about her, how the things she's saying about trans people hurt and upset you, even (maybe especially) how you're scared to have this conversation but that it's necessary and important for both of you that you do have it.

I dont think you should just text your mom some links and call it good (not that that is your plan, but idk I'm just sayin). to me, at least, that seems a bit cold and snide, like saying "you're dumb and wrong and here's the real facts" which could easily have the opposite results you want bc humans can be sensitive and defensive, especially since it's a parent being corrected by their child. I know I don't like being wrong and having to be corrected (though i appreciate it), bc it's embarrassing. I imagine being corrected by your child, the young person you're supposed to raise and teach, can be even more embarrassing & make you more prone to activate the no shut up I'm older and thus I must know better reaction.

obviously that doesn't mean "don't correct your mom ever." I just think that it would probably go better if you were gentle with it. especially because you've said that she tries to be open and progressive. that should be encouraged. and a lot of the misinformation and wrong ideas she has about hrt and trans folks probably isn't her fault—misinformation spreads so easy, especially when nasty people want it to—and they might be exaggerated by her own anxieties and fears for you, her kid. and I can't fault her for that.

and don't rush it! probably don't dump a bunch of articles and studies on her, because that sounds super overwhelming (unless she asks, I guess? idk ur mom) and don't start this conversation with her until you're ready and you know what you want to say, or at least most of it. and this doesn't have to be one giant convo to get it over and done with if you dont want to do it that way. you can start with just one part of it, and let it settle, and start the next part after you've both had time to sit and think about it.

if you aren't sure where to start this conversation, one place you could start is with the simple fact that there are people who purposefully and maliciously spread false information about trans folks to cause harm and create fear and confusion, and that they can be pretty good at it. especially when they are telling these things to people who don't know anything about the topic because they haven't had to know about it up to this point! i dont think its your mom's fault she's been given these ideas, and she shouldnt be made to feel too badly about it. cis and trans folks alike have been fooled by cleverly shared lies. and after you explain that, you can ask her if she'd be open to reading some of those studies and getting more reliable and accurate information, and hopefully the conversation can progress from there.

that's just an idea/suggestion though, obvs you do this however you wanna do it in whatever way feels best to you 👍🏻

I would very much like to think that if you can talk with her (or write to her, whatever) and really communicate, she'd be willing to listen and try to understand and learn.

on the flip side, though... if you try talking and she is totally unwilling to consider the fact that her info/what she's been told is incorrect, and she refuses to listen to you, I don't think there's much to be done.

as you said, you live under her roof and have to see her a lot, so I think for your sake it might be better to try and ignore it and just let it go for now. maybe you could try and broach the topic again in the future, but if she feels really strongly about it and there's absolutely no convincing her, avoiding the topic altogether might be better for you than arguing about it constantly.

and I really, truly hope it doesn't come to that but I had to acknowledge it for my own peace of mind. :/

#theres a lot of factors that could be contributing to this situation w/ u & ur mom that i cant possibly know about so plz keep that in mind #but i hope this can help you even just a lil bit #ftm radio #listener call in #ask #anon #transphobia mention #(vaguely but still) #jkr mention #misinformation #hrt misinformation

[ipuckwithhockey]

I’d Rather Rescue Myself - Travis Konecny

a/n: Did I write this based on the Cheetah Girls hit, Cinderella? bc I did. no I didn’t. I don’t think this will surprise anyone but this is kind of angsty and dramatic, but I think it’s cute in the end. Let me know what you think :)

Warnings: Single mom, cursing, drinking, angst, a little bit of anxiety, I think that’s it

——

When I was just a little girl, my momma used to tuck me into bed

She read me a story

It always was about a Princess in distress and how a guy would save her 

End up with the glory

Your mom was a hopeless romantic. She fell hard and fast for the men that came in and out of her life. She wasn’t running around being reckless or anything, she just loved being in love. She loved the honeymoon phase and she loved the idea of finding her prince charming.  

Your dad left when you were just a baby, but your mom didn’t harbor on the loss. That was another thing about your mom— she was an undying optimist. She said that her relationship with your father wasn’t meant to be, and that her real prince charming was somewhere out there waiting to find her.

You actually believed all the elaborate bedtime stories she told you for a while. You thought you too would find your prince charming who would sweep you off your feet and rescue you from the harsh realities of your average Philadelphia life.

Your mom did eventually find Steve, a real-estate broker, that made her very happy. You liked Steve. He was nice and had a good job, and really did care for your mom. They’ve been married almost two years now, and you’ve never seen your mom happier. Maybe she was right, her prince charming was waiting out there for her, except he wasn’t in a castle or riding a horse into the sunset, he was just trying to decide which slice and bake cookies he should get for his open house. That’s how they met. In the freezer section of the grocery. Your mom helped him decide on one pack of sugar and one pack of chocolate chip, they exchanged numbers, and the rest is history.

Then one day I realized the fairy tale life wasn't for me

I don't wanna be like Cinderella

Sittin' in a dark old dusty cellar

Waiting for somebody, to come and set me free

You really tried to be optimistic. You would put yourself out there, go on dates, and even had a couple serious relationships throughout college. There was just one problem— they never worked out. You were always left heartbroken. So your senior year of college you decided that you had had enough. 

You were done feeling sorry for yourself. You were smart and driven and didn’t need a man to rescue you. You had a great internship that would hopefully turn into a job after graduation and you were the top of your class. You weren’t going to let another boy come in and distract you from your goals. So you swore off boys. It’s not that you didn’t want to find someone eventually, you just didn’t have the time or energy to bother with them now. This was time to focus on you.

That year you met Travis Konecny and his band of brothers from the Philadelphia Flyers. Your roommate, Katie, had hooked up with Joel Farabee a couple of times but they ultimately decided they were better off as just fiends. You and Travis became quick friends. You had a similar sense of humor and even though he was the worlds biggest, dumbest redneck, you had a soft spot for the kid. He was busy with hockey and didn’t have time for a relationship, and so he understood why you didn’t want one either. 

Soon started the movie nights and casual hang outs. You even started to teach him how to cook. You would admit that he was very handsome (when he showered and properly groomed himself), but you were just friends. It was never anything else. Neither of you wanted it to be anything else.

You both had had other hookups and occasionally a date, and you would laugh together over how bad they were afterward, saying “see, this is why i don’t need a relationship.”

That was almost two years ago. You did end up graduating at the top of your class, and the internship did turn into an amazing job. You worked hard and were hopefully in line for a big promotion at the end of the month.

You lived on your own now, but Katie just lived a block away. Shortly after her and Joel decided to remain friends she met Chris. He was a great guy and they recently moved in together.  You were really happy for Katie and all of your friends who had found great guys to settle down with. You were only 23 but it seemed like most of your friends had found their match, and you would be lying if you said it didn’t bother you.

It’s not that you wanted to get hitched and have a baby right this second, you were still very young, but the thought of having a caring boyfriend to come home to was something you just couldn’t get out of your head lately.

Someday, I'm gonna find someone who wants my soul, heart and mind

Who's not afraid to show that he loves me

Somebody who will understand I'm happy just the way I am

Don't need nobody taking care of me

Now you found yourself on Travis’ couch ranting about how all of your college friends were taking their boyfriends to Katie’s birthday party this weekend. Again, you were happy for them, you really were! But you didn’t want to be the only single one there. It was one thing to get a sad look from your mom when she asked you if you were seeing anyone, it was another thing to get sad looks from about a dozen of your friends. You knew they just wanted you to find someone who made you happy, but you hadn’t yet, and there wasn’t anything that could change that.

“I just wish I could find someone who wants me for me, you know? Someone who gets that my career is just as important as his, and who understands that when I say I don’t want anything to eat I actually do, I’m just too hard headed to admit it!” You were ranting on about the perfect guy, and all Travis could think was that he was that guy.

He would show up at your door out of the blue because he knew the “work’s been busy, just gonna go home and get some stuff done” reply to his hang out invitation actually meant “I’ve never been as stressed as I am right now, and haven’t eaten in 12 hours, and I could really use a hug.” He was always there for you, and you were always there for him. People didn’t always understand your relationship, and last year when Travis started dating a girl, she became so jealous of your friendship. Eventually, Travis ended it when she asked him to choose between her or you. There really wasn’t any contest. He would choose you every time. That was when he realized he had some serious feelings for you. Travis wasn’t good with feelings, and as much as he wanted to tell you he loved you, he didn’t want to mess with your friendship. It was too important to him, and up until recently you had been pretty dedicated to your no relationship lifestyle.

So instead of telling you how much he loved you and how he was the guy who valued your career and goals just as much as his own, he just offered to go with you to the party in question, “Well I’ll go with you. I like your friends, and then I’ll also get the sad looks because I too am single and lonely, so you won’t be alone.”

You laugh, Travis was right, you would probably have a good time if was there. You always have a good time when he’s around, and your friends like him too. They know you’re just friends but they never hesitate to give you a hard time about how you’ll end up together one day. You know he’s not into you like that, but that doesn’t stop you from wondering what it would be like to one day call him yours.

“Hello???? Is anyone home?” He’s waving his hands in front of you after you zoned out thinking about how great it would be to come home to him after a long day at work,

“Oh yeah, sorry, that would actually be great. You don’t have to, I know I’ve been annoying lately with all the work talk and complaining about relationshi-“

“Don’t worry about it. The party will be fun, we haven’t been out together in forever. And I know you’re stressed, even though you shouldn’t be. There’s no way you’re not getting that promotion. That doucheface, Jack is barely smart enough to do his current job, there’s no way they would give him the promotion over you.”

“His name is Jake, but yes he is a doucheface and even though I may be more qualified, he has been at the company longer than me so there’s a good chance he’ll get it just based on that.”

“You worry too much. You’re gonna get it, and we’re all gonna celebrate when you do.”

I can slay, my own dragon

I can dream, my own dreams

My knight in shining armor is me

So now it was Friday night, and you found yourself next to Travis in a crowded bar that Katie had picked for her birthday celebration. You had had the longest week known to man, and all you really wanted to do was sleep. But alas, you were here and trying to have a good time.

Travis had been great the whole night, socializing with your friends, make his stupid jokes, and getting you drinks. You really did appreciate him coming, but something just felt off. He has always been a touchy guy but it seemed like he had his arm around you more than usual tonight, and when he talked to your friends he would say “we” when referring to the two of you. It felt too domestic, and if felt too claustrophobic.

Even his praises when the group asked about your work annoyed you. You didn’t know if you were just on edge from work or if Travis’ overstepping was really getting to you.

You needed a minute to yourself so excused yourself to get another drink.

“Sit down, I got it,” Travis stands to get you another drink, and that’s when you start to lose it. In the back of your mind you know he’s just being nice, but you’re already seeing red and nothing can stop you now.

“I am perfectly capable of getting my own drink, and I really don’t need a man to babysit me all night, so you can sit down, and I’ll get it for myself.”

You turn and head for the door of the bar, not caring that your friends, and Travis, are all staring at you completely taken aback by what just came flying out of your mouth.  You make it outside, needing a minute in the cold winter air, before Travis catches up to you.

“What the hell is going on? Did I do something?”

“Travis. I really appreciate you trying to ‘take care of me’ of whatever it is you’re trying to do, but I can take care of myself. I’ve been doing it a long time, there’s no reason why I can’t continue to do so.”

You’re being mean now. You know it, but it’s not stopping you. You can’t help but push him away because it feels easier to just deny the feelings you know you have. The hurt in Travis’ eyes almost makes you take it all back, but you know that if you push him enough he’ll be just as stubborn and mad as you, and then you can fight it out instead of actually talking about what’s going on. So you continue, knowing that what you’re going to say will just piss him off,

“You’re not my boyfriend, and I didn’t ask you to act like it. If you want a girl to parade around in front of people, go find someone else, because I’m not your girl. You just need to back off, ok?”

“I’m not trying to control you, or ‘parade you around’ I have no clue why you think I’d even want that,” He puts up big air quotes when he throws your words back at you,

“I just know how stressed you are and how you don’t ever see your friends because your whole life is your fucking job. I just wanted to make this night fun and relaxing for you. And I’m sorry if I’m proud of you for being so successful, but did it ever occur to you that maybe I am the guy?  The guy who wants you for you. The guy who respects your career just as much as his own. The guy who knows that even though you’re standing here pissed as hell, it’s only because you  know you have feelings for me too?”

He’s practically yelling and a couple people have definitely taken notice. And maybe he’s right, but your hard head and stubbornness would never let you admit it, so you just decide to walk away.

You leave him standing there outside of a bar that still holds all of your closest friends, and you know that you may have just thrown away your prince charming, but you can’t go back. It would be too much, so you walk home and cry yourself to sleep that night.

I will be there for him just as strong as he, will be there for me

When I give myself then it has got to be, an equal thing

I don't wanna be like Cinderella

Sittin' in a dark old dusty cellar

Waiting for somebody, to come and set me free

You got the promotion. You got it and the only person you wanted to tell was Travis. It’s been weeks since that night you left him outside the bar. He texted and called a few times, eventually he stopped. You thought he might show up at your place but he never did. You tried to be mad at him. You tried to blame him for your friendship falling apart. You also knew that he was right. About everything.

You thought back to all the times you had been there for each other. You thought back to all of the long talks on the phone while he was away for the summers, every time he hyped you up before a big presentation at work, and all the times you waited at his door after what you knew had been a tough game.

You always had each others backs. You didn’t have to ask for it, you just knew that when you fell, the other one would be there to pick you up. You didn’t have to guess. You always knew what he was feeling and you knew how to fix it. He was the same way with you. And yet, you still couldn’t bring yourself to just pick up the phone and call. Maybe it was because you knew he would be on the other end waiting to take you back in the blink of an eye. You knew he’d forgive you for everything and you knew he would love you forever, but you were still scared to admit that maybe you did need him. You felt like it would be an admission of failure that you couldn’t do this on your own.

You didn’t need him to take care of you or to slay a dragon to save you, you just needed HIM.  You needed his companionship, his love, and his affection, all of the things that he was so willing to give you, but that you still couldn’t accept.

I don't wanna be like Snow White 

waiting for a handsome prince 

to come and save me on a horse of white

Unless we're riding side by side

It’s been over a month now, and you haven’t so much as spoken a word to Travis. You had filled Katie in the day after her party, apologizing for leaving without saying goodbye. She tried to comfort you, but you didn’t want to talk about it. You were going to be fine without him. He was just a friend after all. But now Katie was getting fed up. She was tired of watching you mope around town acting like everything was fine, when she knew damn well that you were just too stubborn to admit that you loved Travis too.

“Ok. You seriously need to suck it up buttercup.” Katie came full force through the threshold of your apartment with two bottles of wine and a bag of take out. You were all for a girls night, but you were right when you had concerns of it turning into a “lets talk about your feelings night.”

“You’re losing it. Like I love you, but as your friend I can no longer support this moping around.”

“I have told you over and over again, that I am fine. I got my promotion and I’m doing great at work!” You try to convince her that you’re doing ok, and that you don’t read every shitty article written about the flyers as an attempt to satisfy your Travis craves.

“If you’re oh so fine, then why do you still watch every flyers game? Why are you drinking his favorite wine all the time? And why the fuck are you wearing his clothes???”

You didn’t even remember that you had put on an old hoodie of his this morning until just now. He used to let you borrow the old 67’s hoodie when you were at his place, eventually you just took it home with you, and it’s been your favorite ever since. You wore it now more than ever, but would never admit it was because you missed him.

“It’s just comfortable ok?” But you knew she wasn’t buying it, you knew you were going to have to talk about it at some point.

“...I just feel like if I admit that I need him, it would be like admitting that I can’t take care of myself, that I can’t do this on my own.”

“Babe, it’s not about needing someone to take care of you, it’s just about loving someone and letting them love you back. Travis of all people knows that you are perfectly capable of fending for yourself. I think that’s probably something he loves about you. He knows you. And I know for a fact that he’s waiting for you.”

“And how do you know that?”

“Because he calls me…”

“Wh-what?” Why would Travis bother to call Katie?

“Because he’s worried about you, but he knows that if he suffocates you, you’ll just keep pushing him away. He’s called me regularly for a few weeks now. He just wants to know how you are... But he didn’t want me to tell you because he didn’t want you to feel like he was going behind your back. He loves you. And he’s just waiting for you to come back to him. He’s an idiot, but somehow he’s managed to figure you out.”

He loves you. Travis loves you.

You love him.

You love each other.

He never wanted to take anything from you. 

He just wanted your love.

He wanted to give you his love.

It’s like you’re discovering words for the first time, and you know you that you can’t just let this go. You know that you don’t want to keep living your life if you’re not sharing it with him, side by side.

You look over at Katie who knows you’re finally coming to terms with all of this,

“I think I have to go”

“Go get him babe!”

You order an uber and grab your shoes before heading out the door.  The ride to Travis’ has never felt longer. You start to question yourself but it’s too late, you know what you have to do. You walk into his building and make your way up to his floor on the elevator. You pace back and forth for a while outside of his apartment, but you tell yourself it’s now or never, and knock on the door. It’s not even 20 seconds later that he’s opening the door,

“Hey, I knew you’d come back.”

For some reason you thought he might still be mad, and he might just slam the door in your face or yell at you, but he’s not. He’s smiling and is reaching out to pull you into his apartment and into a hug. You let him and it’s like you’ve never felt more relief. The weight of the past month is instantly lifted. You feel like you can breathe again. And then the tears start to fall.

“Hey, don’t cry. It’s ok.” He’s consoling you and you’ve never felt worse. He was always right there and you just about threw it all away because you were too stubborn. You both muster out some sorry’s and you’re not even sure how long you’ve been standing there in each others arms. You’re perfectly content just staying there, but eventually he pulls back to look at you.

He wipes away at your tear stained face and looks you right in the eyes,

“I love you. And I never ever want to make you feel like you’re anything less than the amazing, strong, smart, beautiful, independent woman that you are... I just want you to let me love you.”

“Okay... but only on one condition…”

Travis just looks questionably back at you,

“That you let me love you back”

Travis doesn’t even bother with words, because he knows the only thing left to do is kiss you. So he leans into you, and you lean into him, and it’s like everything in the world is right again. Riding into the sunset may have been a fairytale, but true loves kiss was definitely a reality. You were right too, you didn’t need a prince to save you, you needed to save yourself. It just turned out that saving yourself was letting the man of your dreams love you back.

#travis konecny #travis konecny imagine #travis konecny fic #nhl imagine #nhl fic #nhl fanfiction #hockey imagine #hockey fic #hockey fanfic #philadelphia flyers #flyers #hockey one shot #nhl one shot

[anti-catradora-receipts]

I really had to see someone say catra didnt abuse adora bc she "didnt have a position of power" over her. And claimed that i "didnt know what abuse was". Well i guess the abuse that ive been through in relationships (platonic and romantic), that has often been like catra/adoras dynamic, wasnt abuse huh. Guess im not an abuse victim after all by that logic

Dear anon,

Firstly, I just wanted to say that I’m really sorry for everything you’ve been through. And I’m really sorry that someone tried to invalidate your experiences with abuse. I really hope you’re doing okay and taking care of yourself.

Secondly, I disagree with the person’s statement of “catra didnt abuse adora bc she "didnt have a position of power" over her.” That’s false. 

Catra admits to manipulating Adora during the show. And this article talks about manipulation in a relationship and how manipulation is all about power and control. I extracted some parts of the article and placed it right below (within the quotation marks): 

“People who manipulate use mental distortion and emotional exploitation to influence and control others. Their intent is to have power and control over others to get what they want.

A manipulators knows what your weaknesses are and will use them against you. This will keep happening unless you actively and assertively put a stop to it. That said, it is not always easy.”

Next, this article is from the perspective of a victim of abuse after leaving an emotionally abusive relationship. The author of the article wanted to better understand their past abusive relationship and shared the insights that they gained from reading the book, ‘Power Games: Confronting Others’ Hurtful Behaviour and Transforming Our Own by Kay Douglas and Dr Kim McGregor’. I feel that the article illustrates in depth the enormous power imbalance between Catra and Adora and I extracted some parts of the article and put it below (within the double quotations): 

“After leaving an emotionally abusive relationship, I found myself needing to understand what had happened. Like most people who leave a volatile situation I was, quite simply, unable to process and articulate what was wrong. Apart from being incredibly vulnerable, I was also just too close to my own situation to see it objectively.

So I decided to read Power Games: Confronting Others’ Hurtful Behaviour and Transforming Our Own by Kay Douglas and Dr Kim McGregor. What I found was a wealth of information confirming what I couldn’t express or even see for myself. Here are some choice insights from the book, as well as some of my own thoughts*:

1. Control is always at the heart of a power game. The need to assert control will usually involve undermining and/or discrediting another to achieve our own ends. For example, we are using power games when we:

bully or intimidate someone into agreeing with our demands;

bait and provoke others through disturbing statements or actions and then claim they’re being over-sensitive/emotional, crazy or irrational (known as gaslighting); 

...

engage in name calling, put-downs, harsh criticism or threats.

2. Manipulators are not concerned with taking responsibility for their decisions/behaviours/feelings. Instead, they create a smokescreen by shifting the focus or blame to others. And consequently, the other party must assume the responsibility for making the situation ‘better’. If the other party is a ‘good’ person, they will comply with whatever demands are issued (peace at any price). As soon as they resist, however, the manipulator is likely to go on the attack.

3. For the receiver, cumulative exposure to such tumult may reduce self-esteem and increase anxiety, resentment and fear. Receivers will experience intense emotional reactions and may end up interpreting these as proof they are selfish, unbalanced, over-sensitive and unreasonable. They may lose their sense of self; either over-compensating to ‘get it right’ and ‘be better’ or even adopting manipulative tactics against others.

...

4. For the receiver, regaining personal power starts with a shift in one’s thinking. More specifically, an acknowledgement that the manipulator must take responsibility for their feelings and behaviours and any future change. It is accepting that the dynamic needs to change and learning to distinguish between real and manufactured guilt. It is constructing and defending boundaries and a willingness to listen to what anger is trying to say. It is the ability to cut through the smokescreen tactics and see the situation clearly. It is the ability to speak one’s truth and articulate one’s feelings. It is honouring the self. And, sometimes, this will mean leaving.

What I learned is that while not everyone who feels inadequate is a manipulator, every manipulator feels inadequate. So do we all, I know. But, what sets manipulators apart is the way they consistently and systematically re-distribute this inadequacy onto others.

...

What I also learned is that by disengaging I was not giving up, but that I was actively saying ‘I am worth more than this’.”

On a personal note, I just wanted to point out some additional reasons I see a huge power imbalance between Catra and Adora:

- The fact that Catra was completely okay with controlling Adora and Catra was not willing to give up her control of Adora.

- The fact that Adora seems to be the one who is constantly scared of Catra. At the present moment, I can only remember two scenes when Catra is scared of Adora: when Adora gets corrupted and attacks Catra at the beginning of White Out (S2E5), and when Adora gives Catra “The Look” at the end of The Portal (S3E6) . In addition, take a look at this scene. Adora honestly believes that Catra is going to kill her:

- The fact that Catra is completely okay with taking away Adora’s power. In the following scene, Catra doesn’t even see Adora as a person but as a tool. Catra literally states that they’ll use the corrupted sword in order to control Adora and use Adora as an advantage for the Horde. Catra even states that she’ll control Adora to kill Adora’s own friends. That is unbelievably sick. Moreover, Catra was completely okay with controlling Adora’s choices and actions. In fact, this scene supports the fact that Catra was completely okay with taking away Adora’s freedom. 

And honestly, there are some stark similarities between the previous scene with Catra and the following scene with Shadow Weaver. Shadow Weaver was ready to take away Adora’s power and use Adora as a tool against the Rebellion. 

I’d also like to point out that what Catra was willing to do to Adora, Horde Prime had actually done to Catra in S5. Catra’s power and freedom was taken away by Horde Prime and Horde Prime controlled Catra to attack Adora. The fact that Horde Prime took away Catra’s power and freedom was cruel and despicable. And the fact that Catra was willing to take away Adora’s power and freedom is cruel and despicable. 

Moreover, Adora ended up with Catra, a person who was perfectly okay with taking away Adora’s freedom and power. 

That is absolutely vile.

Finally I just want to add that my pinned post titled “Catra abused Adora.” has hyperlinks to resources relating to abuse:

- The Emotional Abuse section is reviewed by professionals. 

- The Physical Abuse section is provided by an online mental health service in Australia.

And these resources confirm that Catra emotionally and physically abuses Adora. 

In conclusion, you are right to say that Catra abuses Adora. Again, I’m really sorry that someone tried to invalidate your experiences with abuse. And I really hope you know that your feelings about Catradora are completely valid. 

I genuinely hope you’re talking care of yourself. Seriously, please make sure you check in with yourself and prioritize some self-care. 

Thank you very much for sharing. ✨

#anti catradora #anti c//a #anti-catradora-receipts #spop salt #spop critical #every time i look at this ship #it just gets worse #the fact that catra was willing to take away adora's freedom is disgusting #i have no words #i hate this ship with all my heart

[mallowstep]

I had a dreamplease. (I'm never taking my migrane medication after reading the human au before bed after this, btw I will suffer through, hopefully you'll see why) That Reedwhisker came to be in the Human Misty AU when the triplets are 7 or 8, and when Reed is 5, the triplets 12-13 Tigerstar gets parole and the judges, CPS and everyone assumes Reed is Tigerstar's as well. (Like they think Misty used some of Tiger's stored sperm or something.) Anyway, Somehow Tiger got 50 percent custody with the Triplets and Reed, and everyone is pissed. About a year passes and Tigerstar is throwing a party, and he says something downright nasty about Feathertail, Mistyfoot, Tawnypelt, and Mothpaw in one go. 6 year old Reedpaw over hears him and launches himself at Tigerstar, and bites down on his ear. Tiger's screaming, Hawkpaw's trying to coax his younger cousin but who everyone thinks is his baby brother off Tigerstar, Frog is comforting Moth, and Moth has called Feather.

Feathertail then gets Stonefur, Stormheart, and somehow Tawnypelt (idk on this one tbh) and shows up at Tigerstar's house, only to find the cops there. The triplets surround the car, Reed ridding on Hawkpaw's shoulders.

"Tigerstar's getting a restraining order on Reedpaw. He says Mistyfoot ruined him." Frogpaw informs Feathertail, eagerly hugging his mother.

"He bit off a chunk of Tigerstar's ear, Mom, Stonefur, Stormheart, Tawnypelt! It was awesome!" Hawkpaw explained, eyes shining.

"I told him I was going to tell My mom, Mistyfoot, Tawnypelt, and myself what he called us that caused Reedpaw to bite him. He was just defending his mom, his sister, and his Auntie...please don't be to mad at him, Mama." Mothpaw pleds.

ohhh yeah i have no idea how. well. since i doubt y'all remember and this ask was sent a month a go so i certainly don't remember what was/wasn't public knowledge at the time, but the general timeline here is that tigerstar gets his first chance for a parole appeal when the triplets are about 14/15.

actually, they're approximately the same age as feathertail when they were born. hm. someone remind me to write about that.

anyway that's only vaguely applicable here because frankly i'm perfectly okay with the occasional hand-waving for sake of angst. lord knows i do it enough. we'll set aside my own Strangely Detailed thoughts on the laws regarding custody and adoption in this au, i just wanted to bring up ages because i was thinking about that and yeah.

also i'm pretty sure tigerstar cannot get custody of the kids while on patrol like i think as a convicted felon he'd have exactly 0% chance of that but again, hand-waving for angst.

right.

obviously feathertail spends the entire time the kids are with tigerstar in uh. very anxiety much unfun. like right like? yeah. especially considering this is the age she was when things were the worst.

so i actually took the time to look through some common custody arrangements i could've just asked my brother but he's in school right now so shhh because i do not understand where he is at any point in time ever so let's say...well okay feathertail (& mistyfoot & stonefur & stormheart, y'know, the whole extended family parenting crew) are not going to jump for an alternating week schedule, but tigerstar lives far enough away that a really short alternating schedule isn't going to work, so. i want them to alternate weekends so let's give them a 2-2-5-5 rotation starting on mondays.

but pretend this calendar starts on monday, and you get it. uhhh we'll give feathertail mondays and tuesdays, tigerstar wednesdays and thursdays, and alternating friday saturday sunday.

...

can you tell i have known a lot of different custody arrangement? because let me tell you holiday planning with two different custody arrangements in play is an exercise in "we're doing winter birthdays in march this year."

okay. anyway.

this was a long tangent just bc i like to b able to establish this kind of thing.

the triplets all get smartphones fairly young, because feathertail is reasonably anxious, but she also gives mothpaw a little preloaded cellphone and tells her to keep it secret and on her person at all times. why mothpaw? well, (a) tigerstar hates women and (b) frogpaw and hawkpaw are a little less responsible at this point in time.

so tigerstar throws a party and party rules are no-cellphone-environments but mothpaw refuses to wear dresses without pockets (as she should), so she's prepared. for the most part, she and her siblings (& cousin) are chilling in a corner, being anti-social teenagers as is their god-given right.

tigerstar brings someone over to introduce them.

"where's their mother?" they ask, and tigerstar clucks his tongue.

i am not skilled enough at spontaneous dialogue to craft a suitable insult to hit everyone, but tigerstar is. swirls his glass, says something, and reedpaw, six years old, not born in the direct aftermath of tigerstar, not cautioned by feathertail to be good and not get into trouble and we're trying to find a way out of this just hang in there and be safe, wriggles free of frogpaw's arms, where he's been sitting.

"those are mean words," he says, and tigerstar snickers.

"they're only mean if they're lies," he says, crouching down to reedpaw's level.

this is a mistake.

reedpaw, six years old, angry, confused, reacts how many would, and throws a temper tantrum, effectively. tigerstar picks him up, intending to bring him somewhere for a timeout (lamenting, to one of his guests, that if it weren't for his mother, reedpaw would be better behaved -- and tigerstar would be able to discipline him properly).

this is also a mistake.

mothpaw excuses herself as soon as this begins. call me if things ever even begin to look bad, feathertail had said. even if you're not sure.

she locks herself in the bathroom, calls feathertail. it's pre-programmed into the phone, and feathertail has never, ever ignored a single call from them. even when she was in the hospital and sick, she would give her phone to stormheart or mistyfoot or stonefur and make them swear to pick up, no matter what.

feathertail picks up, already panicked (she spends this time an anxious wreck; it is the good graces of stonefur having a flexible work schedule that gets her through it, and shadepelt's company, failing that), and mothpaw explains.

"we'll be right there," feathertail says, and mothpaw can hear her scrambling for things in the background. "stonefur!" she shouts, tinny and distant. "okay," feathertail says, "are you okay? where are your brothers? if you--"

"i'm going to go back out," mothpaw says. "make sure reedpaw is okay. so i have to hang up."

someone could point out that they could just leave the call running, but they don't think of that and also it's probably a terrible idea for poor feathertail's sanity. like maybe listening to tigerstar party conversation sounds is bad idea. neither of them think of that, but.

no idea how tawnypelt gets there either but it's fine she's not really important to this.

stonefur drives them, stormheart updates mistyfoot, who's on her way but far enough away that this will all be more-or-less resolved by the time she actually arrives, and feathertail is on the edge of a panic attack. sorry babe.

tigerstar doesn't live in the same compound as before (leopardstar recovers the rights to it), which is a saving grace, because the idea of going back there is terrifying. feathertail went back once, it was hard but provided closure, and can't dream of going there when it is inhabited and lived in by tigerstar.

(would she, for her kids? of course she would. but would it be very productive? no, no it would not.)

sigh okay the canon replacement for the dark forest meeting with feathertail happens during parent's weekend at hawkfrost's college (what, did you think i didn't account for that?), but this serves as good enough for that, because.

they pull up, and tigerstar has taken everyone outside. hawkpaw clutches his cousin, and as soon as the car stops, feathertail struggles to unbuckle her seatbelt and get out of the car. mothpaw rushes to her, because anxiety means feathertail is really not doing great, here, and also isn't thinking super clearly, like, "maybe i should wait for help here."

tigerstar snorts. "what's your plan, feather?" he sneers, and mothpaw (already taller than feathertail) can feel her mother shake.

tigerstar keeps talking, and it all starts to go fuzzy and blank in feathertail's mind.

now, the thing is. feathertail has a restraining order on tigerstar (possibly a protective order but i'm not doing legal research rn), as does mistyfoot. stonefur is the one who orchestrates custody drop-offs. the exact circumstances of feathertail-willingly-entering-contact-with-tigerstar also require legal research, but tigerstar is walking a thin line.

frogpaw sees feathertail, and runs to her as well, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

"we're taking the kids home," stonefur says.

"it's my time with them," tigerstar says, and then he brings his hand to his bloody ear. "but fine. you've already ruined them. what's a few extra days."

stormheart takes reedpaw from hawkpaw, and then ushers the kids back into the car. they don't own a minivan in this (they do in the human misty au, because they have seven people in their family, and yes that means taking any friends with them requires some finagling until stonefur restores his license and they have money for a second car), but a proper van. well. okay look cars are complicated but my specific personal difference between van and minivan is based on the eight-person family i grew up knowing and their van, as compared to the minivan of the six-person family. it's not terribly ugly. but that's so far besides the point.

but they need a considerably amount of car, because they have: four adults, four children, and the space to transport a wheelchair. so they can't get away with a fold up third row suv, they need an actual trunk at the same time.

anyway, that was a really weird tangent thinking through what car they own. sorry. i got really distracted.

right so the reason for this was to establish that was that there's a bunch of bickering over who sits where. reedpaw's booster seat is in the middle row, and even with somewhat reasonable access to the back row, that's still more mobility than feathertail really has, which means exactly one of her children gets to sit next to her.

(it's hawkpaw.)

(he gets this by pointing out he was holding reedpaw. mothpaw and frogpaw are like "okay we hugged her for like two minutes" but hawkpaw is already helping feathertail into the car and climbing into the middle seat and their fate is sealed.)

("god fucking dammit," mothpaw says, but not really because feathertail would be disappointed with her for swearing and mistyfoot would definitely dock their allowance for swearing in front of reedpaw, "why is it always him?")

(they will all end up sneaking into feathertail's bedroom tonight. the master bedroom has a ridiculously large bed, in part as a bit of a things-you-didn't-have-growing-up and in part because they upgrade from a queen to a king-but-it's-a-square-to-fit-three-triplets-who-sneak-in-a-lot when the kiddos are five or so.)

(but hawkpaw claims feathertail for this period of time.)

oh as a consideration, i don't know how mistyfoot is getting here but i think she has a nicer car. maybe it's a company car? yeah. yeah she has nice lil company car. the kids do not get to ride in it very often because children are disasters, and she's allowed to have some nice things.

right. so stonefur is talking with tigerstar as the police pull up, and stormheart and feathertail and all four kids are in the car, and mistyfoot finally arrives as the police are taking notes, and she slides into the driver's seat to check on everyone. mistyfoot reaches back and squeezes feathertail's hand, and reedpaw pushes out of his seat to give her a hug. she sits him on her lap, and raises her eyebrows.

"so," she says, "what's this i hear about reedpaw biting someone?"

"please don't be mad at him," mothpaw says, already considering if she can climb over the row of seats to bully hawkpaw out of his feathertail monopolization. "tigerstar--" she looks down. she doesn't want to have to say it out loud. mistyfoot catches this.

"i suppose i can wait to decide if i should be mad until we get home," she says, kissing reedpaw on the forehead, and then ushering him back into his seat, just as mothpaw has hooked one leg over the row of seats. she groans. frogpaw pats her arm sympathetically.

"okay," mistyfoot says, "i'll be back. i need to make sure my brother doesn't make this any worse."

#mine #ask #anon #human misty au #<- you've earned the tag bc i wrote so damn much for this <3 #mistystar #feathertail #tigerstar #stonefur #mothwing #reedwhisker #stormfur #tadpole #hawkfrost #abuse #abuse cw #id in alt text #fun fact if u save something as a draft #tumblr deletes the alt text #how fun!!!!!

[mxrcayong]

ask game! your moots as nct?

i'm only super close with about 2 of my mutuals so i apologise to my other moots who i may not have put accurately haha but i'll just put my moots that I have been interacting with for collabs and have some sort of vibe feeling from them (if that makes sense, so not all of my mutuals are here) as a combo of them hehe (so i get less wrong and to represent all 23 haha) but i added a description to explain my perspective haha

@pastelsicheng​ i say emmy is definitely a mix of winwin, taeil, kun, and mark. she's effortlessly funny and she's soooo loved and so lovable. she's also so hardworking and understanding and caring, and yeah, i can def imagine everyone fawning over her (low key I do) like taeil and winwin haha. also i may be wrong, but i definitely think she was a leader with a trend through her murder replay story. I was tempted to say taeyong over kun, but then I remembered all our talks about studying and exams and went taeyong would never speak like we do about exams but kun would be more supportive of its chaos. also, she’s more chaotic than she seems (in the best way tho my love haha)

@kopikokun honestly with arin, i'd say she's a mix of jaemin, jisung, and shotaro! she's a sweetie in all senses of the word and she's so affectionate with her words and she's so funny hehe love you <3 i might be a bit biased since we spoke about school and just feel the sense to protect her as well so I just see her as part of the larger maknae line. but no yeah, she’s so talented like all of them - but I immediately thought of shotaro and his cutie-pieness but I also saw jaemin’s affection and loopholes and creativity, but also jisung’s prodigal skill and more…witty?? sarcastic?? Idk what to call it when he does scissors during high fives.

@lucas-wongs i'd say she's a mix of yuta and lucas and ten. this is partly because i find her initially intimidating but she's really lovely and funny and sweet. she's also gives me hella artsy and baddie vibes like ten does. the intimidation, low key, might be bc i was a fan of her before we started being moots haha. But yeah, no I immediately thought of this artsy-baddie-sociable vibes that I think those three perfectly radiate in how they post and act in vlogs and yeah. I would like to talk to her more though!! this is based off limited interaction and from being a huge fan who likes to read her posts hehe

@itsapapisongo i’d say javi - through our limited interaction - gives Doyoung and/or Jaehyun vibes?? I am also tempted to add Ten but I think he radiates this initial huge calmness and warmth that i'd say Jaehyun and Doyoung have in interviews - but when you see vlogs and stuff, they’re so funny and I see that in javi's reblogs / comments / posts. javi is just instantly welcoming and supportive which made me think of jaehyun cheering at the kids recital thing?? Idk where the video was but he was cheering like the biggest fan. its really calming to talk to him haha

@stayinzencity, i’d say she’s like sungchan or hendery as everytime we talk - she just seems so charming and soft and yeah! she’s also super welcoming and approachable, and always make an effort to be super friendly. i also have to say that while sungchan isn’t in a specific subunit quite yet, he feels like he is in one because he’s getting so many opportunities - like he feels like he’s been in NCT for ages. in this, she really makes me feel a sense of belonging on tumblr as she always checks in or tags me in things, which does make me feel more welcomed. 

@urlocalnctstan i get chenle or xiaojun vibes. one element of this is bc i just see chenle and xiaojun as low key extra and i see hana as someone whose a bit extra in such a creative way. when joining her collab, she started making trailer videos for everyone and i just thought it was so genius and creative. it also makes me think of how chenle and xiaojun have been creative throughout their lives (ie; xiaojun’s high school? play and chenle performing at the theater as a child). so yeah, i definitely see hana - again through limited interaction.- as someone whose very extra in the best creative way and also very like... sassy like chenle and xiaojun haha. she’s lovely x 

like i was for @lucas-wongs, I was a huge fan of @moondustaeil before we became mutuals. I have to say she gives me johnny vibes as well as renjun vibes but I also want to say she’s mark or haechan just so I can say @127-mile is the mark to her haechan or vice versa just bc im the biggest markhyuck fan. But overall, like I was a huge fan and I just think her blog is so pretty so it made me think of their absolute creativity. she’s also so friendly and sociable like johnny and also so witty and comeback-y which also reminds me of renjun - again, this is based off limited interaction haha

@127-mile I really see jeno and taeyong vibes. through our limited interaction, she reminds me of those duality vids where one second they’re laughing and then they’re so serious, which I think jeno and taeyong show really well. she was also supportive and reassuring , which gives me leader vibes. I also know taeyong has tattoos and jeno previously spoke abt getting a tattoo (idk if he has one now) so that too haha. but I also wanna say mark or hyuck just so I can say that moondustaeil is the mark to her haechan or vice versa haha.

@dreamyyang AGAIN from limited interaction (but I’d love to talk to them more), I just think their blog is so pretty and radiates the fun energy that yangyang and haechan and jungwoo give out. We only started speaking recently (when some one pulled out of the collab due to leaving Tumblr) so I can’t say too much about it in detail, like I tried with the other mutuals, but I can say she seems hella cool and hella aesthetic and I’d love to chat with her more <3

i hope i did everyone justice or accurate! i’d love to talk more to all my mutuals but i also have major social anxiety, especially with online friendships so... i’m so sorry haha 

#watercooler #ask

[atlascas]

DEANCAS FIC REC

(last updated 7/1)

FINALLY. this is like. just a place for me to rec and write excessively abt the fics i've been reading lately. it won't be organized but it WILL be very earnest and i'll keep it updated as i find/remember more. also i have obnoxiously high standards when it comes to fic so these ARE the cream of the crop, if u will. the god tier. the s tier. 

very loosely organized into "newer fic" and "classics." these are subjective categories. do what you will

✨ = new fic on the list

💖 = in my brain rent free!

CURRENTLY READING

these are the fics that i’m currently reading! may or may not get recced. usually i read the first couple paragraphs/lines and if i like the writing it gets bookmarked and put on this list.

lazarus needs a robe of scarlet thread by herrosesneverfall, 90k, canonverse au. dean starts getting stigmata. when i was getting back into spn there were a LOT of religious fics flying around bc that was the Hot Topic of Discussion. this was one of them

Three weeks ago, Dean woke up in a pine box. He thought dealing with the nightmares was going to be the most difficult part of his new life after Hell, but at least they were something he could understand. Something he could deal with. Something he deserved.

Then he began having agonizing visions of crucifixion. Wounds appeared on his body out of nowhere. Wounds that refused to heal and coated his skin with the sickly sweet smell of roses.

Stigmata are said to be the marks of saints, but Dean is not a saint and the wounds are only the beginning.

kingdom come by ahurston, 8.7k, coda to 15x18. cas gets to go home. im gathering all the s15 fix-its to my heart and holding them close

Cas wakes up on the coast of Maine. He makes his way home.

hunger by ellispark, 10.8k, s13 au. dean grieves cas, post s12 finale. perfect writing perfect awful heartwrenching characterization so far on dean’s end especially towards jack. nuanced emotional writing

Dean takes his meal and throws it away, plate and all. He's not hungry. How can he even begin to eat, knowing what he kept from Cas — what he kept from both of them?

They could have had something, and now all Dean has is this gaping, empty hole in his stomach, in his chest, and he has to learn to breathe and eat and move around it.

the law of equivalent exchange by awed_frog, 60.8k, canonverse. cas loving dean in all permutations of humanity, throughout time.

“And what’s the point of it?”

“Of love? There isn’t one. Loving is its own purpose.”

NEWER FIC

“newer” just means “i discovered it in 2020/2021 after coming back to spn fandom” so it very well could have been published before 2015 but really who’s checking. not me that’s for sure.

💖 so says the sword by komodobits, 85k, s4 au. cas guards the michael sword in the beautiful room. this is easily the MOST obvious rec on this entire list but it was the first fic i read when i got back into spn this year and jesus christ it set the bar sky fucking high. the way they create a coherent mythology out of the mess that is spn canon is incredible.

The briefing was simple: ‘Stand guard over the Michael Sword until the battle is ready to commence. Await further instructions.’

Castiel doesn’t mind working security duty; he was briefed shortly after the initial salvation of the Sword from the pit, and again before taking up his position. He knows what to do. However, it’s easy to forget that the green room isn’t real. Time moves differently there, the space ever-changing to make a prison of mountains, cathedrals, salt flats, orchards, and whatever Castiel was led to believe about Heaven’s greatest weapon—Dean Winchester is something entirely unexpected.

assimilation by komodobits, 5.6k, coda to 12x01. mary meets dean and cas and they go to find sam. such good character studies of all three of them. the best mary pov fic i’ve read

Mary always thought you were supposed to be able to tell. That you could just look at someone and know they were – you know. One of that sort. It’s not supposed to happen to her son.

cuckoo and nest by komodobits, 10k, ambiguously canonverse. dean and cas navigate relationship anxiety. cute, in character, and their relationship is realistic and the conflict well-written and emotionally nuanced and really really really good. 

For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental.

It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless.

💖 one white lie by komodobits, 11k, au. cas panics when trying to ask dean out and has to fake being a jehovah’s witness. it’s adorable and hilarious and it’s been ages since i actually got butterflies at a kiss in a fic but this did it. it did it. it felt like someone swaddled my soul in a cashmere blanket and kissed me on the forehead

Castiel takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. He doesn’t need to run through what he’s going to say – he’s already planned and edited and rehearsed it a thousand times. He is going to ask Dean Winchester out to dinner. If it’s not too forward, he’ll say, perfectly charming. You see, I’ve seen you around the neighbourhood and you always seem so earnest and I’d really like to get to know you bette— The door swings open, and Castiel panics.

He intends to excuse himself. He means to apologise and come back some other time. However, in a moment of blind fear, what comes out of his mouth instead are the words, “Could you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?”

a crash course in someone else’s history by annie d (scaramouche), 11.5k, set during s6. cas comes to as his s4 self without any memories of the past two years and has to figure out what the fuck is going on. it’s kind of like so says the sword. you’ll know it when you get to it.

Castiel is captured inside a trapping circle of holy oil set by Dean and Sam Winchester. The brothers call him "Cas", claiming that he has amnesia and that he is obligated to help them take down Crowley to atone for his betrayal of them. It's the strangest story Castiel's ever heard, and one he doesn't have time for because he's only just raised Dean from Hell and has work to get back to.

💖 cas and dean’s adventures in gardening by ahurston, 19k, post-canon au. a series featuring dean and cas living in the bunker, human. cas is very into plants. i read this yesterday actually and it made me smile SO much it’s just so lovely and sweet. i’m also a sucker for any fic where cas has a garden. he deserves a fucking garden okay

In this post-God world, everything is different. A little quieter, a little softer. Cas grows a garden, Dean cooks, and they take care of each other.

tall grass by aeli_kindara, 57k, post-s12. dean and cas live in the bunker on their own, and cas grows a garden. i did say i love fics where cas has a garden. plus domesticity, plus some good case fic, PLUS dean and cas’ relationship is so gentle and good

“I think we should have a garden,” Cas says.

Dean looks up from his beer. He hasn’t had that much to drink, but Cas still has a vague look of unreality about him, a splash of living color that doesn’t fit in the bunker’s echoing stillness. Dean didn’t hear him coming. A lot of the time, Cas is so unobtrusive it feels like Dean has the bunker to himself, with Sam away.

Dean shakes his head to clear it. “A — garden?” he repeats.

in a week by renrub, 2.3k, post 15x18. cas is in the empty. dean saves him. this is genuinely the best “dean pulls cas out of the empty” fic i’ve read so far like conceptually this entire thing just fucks. when cas is cycling through the barn scene. god. SO well written

Castiel is outside a barn covered in sigils. He frowns. This isn’t right. This has never been something he repented for.

i won’t even wish for snow by annie d (scaramouche), 5.6k, college au. cas goes to the winchesters’ for christmas. honestly scaramouche fics belong in the classics section bc she’s like an og deancas writer but whatever. mistletoe! banter! good in-character au! this fic’s got it all

It’s the third year that Castiel’s spending Christmas with his best friend’s family, and he expects it to be much like the previous two. Then mistletoe happens.

convenient husbands by annie d (scaramouche), 39k, canonverse au. cas is a phoenix, dean is a hunter. they get married and have a sick psychic bond. unexpectedly fluffy considering how the fic starts and i love the banter so much and dean/cas’ relationship gets fleshed out and organically developed it’s very cute

"It's only temporary, right?" Dean says. "Just until you're healed up, and then we'll never have to see each other again. So what do you say, Castiel, do you want to marry me or not?"

cinderwings by bendingsignpost, 181k, cinderella au. cas goes to a masquerade ball to save his people from an eternity trapped in a void. he meets prince dean. i can’t tell u how much this fic drew me in - thru good worldbuilding, but mostly thru cas’ social awkwardness. like it works PERFECTLY to his advantage in this fic and reading how expertly he manipulates social situations w/o any fucking idea what he’s doing is both hilarious and inspiring

Under the cover of a masquerade ball, Castiel has five nights to recover the key to his people's freedom. The world has changed greatly in the six centuries since their banishment into the void, but the task isn't impossible. Unfortunately for Castiel, this is going to involve talking to people - especially the Knight Prince who has taken an interest in Castiel and his "costume" wings.

as the crow flies by bendingsignpost, 3.4k, au. dean and cas go on a roadtrip. cas has wings! it’s so dreamlike and meandering and the slowburn is so good. honestly it reminds me of stevebucky/stevesam post tws era roadtrip fics if ur hip LMAO

Cross country road trips with Cas are the best.

long-term relationship by bendingsignpost, 2.7k, au. dean and cas have a Serious Conversation about their relationship.

Castiel says, budging over to make room for Dean on the couch, “I thought we should have a serious talk about our relationship.”

Reflexively, Dean laughs.

Castiel does not.

“Uh, Cas... you know we’re not dating, right?”

all this and heaven too by ftmsteverogers, 7k, ambiguously canonverse. dean is trans. dean and cas are fucking and lowkey hiding it from sam. perfect character study PERFECT trans dean fic it’s so fucking well-written 

“Hey,” Dean said. “I’m not ashamed of you, okay?”

Cas raised skeptical eyes to meet his.

“I mean it,” Dean insisted.

“I understand you mean it,” Cas said. “But I don’t think it’s any better if you’re only ashamed of yourself.”

💖 the love story of the runner up by margo_kim, 4.7k, ambiguously canonverse. cas tries dating other men. bear with me here. this is an outside pov fic from an oc named miguel who is WONDERFULLY characterized and very endearing like i find outsider/oc pov to be on Thin Fucking Ice bc it always ends up as fandom/author self-insert but miguel is his OWN MAN. he gets his own lil arc and everything. dean and cas are concentrated perfectly crystallized versions of themselves and the little glimpses we get of them are amazing. ALSO i wrote like 9k of an spn vent fic (basically the same premise but w an oc named marcus) back in like. freshman yr of hs. so when i first opened this fic i was like what the fuck someone’s been in my google docs. very weird experience 10/10 regardless

“So you saw a white man in a trench coat pop out in an alley,” Paul says, “and you thought, what, ‘I want to see where this is going’?”

“If you get hung up on details like that,” Miguel says, “it will take a very long time to get through this story.”

For a very weird era in his life, Miguel dates an angel who is in love with another man.

sunshine by northernsparrow, 8k, set during s13. dean and cas have a long conversation about their Profound Bond. the description left me off-balance (it really. really truly says “dean is straight in this fic” like okay bro WEIRD hill to die on) but it pulled through w the relationship study and reassurance and snuggles. a sweet fic

One-shot with a single conversation between Dean and Castiel, set in a late-S13-ish world. Gabriel, Cas, Sam & Dean are all living in the bunker together, Gabe's been cracking certain jokes, Sam's found a certain book, Cas is injured and isn’t healing... and it's all making Dean wonder if his angel friend might have some sort of a "bond" with... somebody? Whatever that means.

Maybe it's time for a talk.

💖 still life by catchclaw, 16.5k, post-s8. cas, newly human, goes to live on his own for a while. he and dean maintain a relationship thru the phone. this is LITERALLY the only first person fic i fucking respect okay like i was skeptical! i really was! but the pov is PERFECT and also my man kevin tran is in this fic and i love him and miss him very much. oh and cas going off to explore humanity on his own..............perfect arc. very much in character we love that for him

Dean'd always thought that falling in love was a capital letter kind of thing, an Important Event you carved into the calendar of your life and never, ever forgot. But with he and Cas, it wasn't that simple.

it’s mostly cowardice, and bad timing by ferritin4, 1.6k, pre-canon. actually this one is just a dean study it’s not deancas but i spent an entire night looking for it and i need someone else to read it too. dean is smart!!! SAY THAT

Dean gets his GED.

a list of reasons the bunker shouldn’t get a sofa by lizbobjones, 5.6k, set during s12. sam and dean and mary and cas haul a sofa back to the bunker. cute domesticity and fluff

Let me count the ways that this is a terrible idea.

no kingdom to come by domesticadventures, 16.8k, canonverse. dean and cas deal with being stuck in quarantine in different ways. this is the one and only quarantine fic i’ve read and it’s really good lmao. dean and cas’ relationship is so organic and tentative in this one

“We should fuck,” Dean says.

Cas looks up from where he sits on his bed, hair still damp from the shower, frowning as he places a finger on the page of his book to mark where he left off.

There are a million things Cas could say here; Dean has rehearsed them. After lunch, his restlessness had given way to a vague panic, a dread that matched his every step and crept along with him from room to room. Eventually, he had returned to his bedroom and spent the rest of the afternoon pacing back and forth, playing out all the possible scenarios. When Cas asks him Why? or Are you being serious? or when he sighs and says, in that way he has, Dean, he knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s going to shrug casually, like he isn’t invested in the answer, like he isn’t desperate for an outlet, and say, Why not? He’s going to raise an eyebrow and say, What, are you not interested? He’s going to crowd into Cas’ personal space, he’s going to shove himself right up in there and whisper Cas against his ear.

Instead, Cas says, carefully, “Okay.”

till the juice runs by deathbanjo, 8.4k, canonverse. it’s like dean’s being cursed to have bad hookups with men. SUCH a funny fic and the deancas tension is so simple and sweet and GOOD. plus cas is so enjoyably characterized here he’s so human and worn in and experienced in his own unique way. perfect use of rowena too

Apparently whoever drew up the venn diagram of Dean’s sex life decided the circle labelled ‘good sex’ and the one labelled ‘sex with men’ should be kept far apart.

turn of the year by kototyph, 3.9k, canonverse au. sam and dean get stuck out in the middle of nowhere on the winter solstice. what i wouldn’t give for a full 80k of this verse actually. also i went on a kototyph binge after reading shut up put your money where your mouth is and they have a SOLID spn repertoire

Fifteen minutes later, Dean gets back in the car with empty hands and ice in his fucking eyebrows. “Get the map out,” he says through chattering teeth, sticking numb fingers under his arms.

Sam holds up the battered 1995 Rand MacNally they keep in the side pocket, turned to a page of uninterrupted green. “We’re going to die,” he announces.

💖 bullets in the gun by kototyph, 4.9k, canonverse au. cas is a cop (i know. still) who gets kidnapped by dean in an unfortunate turn of events. GOD this fic is SO FUNNY. cas’ canny and strategic escape attempts render him a very active VERY funny pov character plus the hate attraction to dean is PERFECTLY WRITTEN VERY BELIEVABLE. dean’s kindness also shines thru even as he literally holds cas hostage like!!!! PERFECT characterization. both of them are so LIKABLE here. if you read anything on this list read this

“Sorry, sweetheart, but I’m going to need to borrow your car.”

as you will by kototyph, 1.8k, victorian au. cas endures a proposal mishap. it’s cute it’s funny it’s sweet!

"No?" Castiel echoes, dumbly.

and if i was looking too? by kototyph, 2.6k, au. cas is undercover where dean works. this fic is just so cute like. bird angels.................

There are some things Castiel hasn't told Dean, and there are some things he doesn't need to.

the most important thing by northernsparrow, 94.5k, s10 au. amnesiac cas raising claire until he comes across someone familiar. claire is so well characterized here i really loved her arc thruout this fic. she just wants her dad back and u can’t even blame her the author rlly does an amazing job creating realistic and heartbreaking motivations for her. oh and dean and cas (esp cas characterization!) are sweet in this but honestly the highlight IS claire for me

Jimmy Novak remembers nothing of the last six years. Reunited with his troubled daughter Claire, he's struggling to raise her on his own. The most important thing is to make Claire happy. But why does he keep having these dreams of wings, and of two men in a black car? (Canon-divergent from S10E11, when we first met Claire again and Dean was still struggling with the Mark of Cain. Takes places several months later).

there’s only one sure thing that i know by blinkiesays, 20.3k, post-s5. dean goes to help cas out in ohio and they end up building a home together. i love the writing it’s rlly funny and sweet.

Dean doesn't even get halfway through explaining before Bobby starts laughing. When he lets himself think about it for more than five seconds, Dean can almost see Bobby's point: he's faced down demons, witches, vampires, werewolves, ghosts, angels, and Satan himself and now he's been defeated by the God damn Midwest.

💖 to an angel, love and worship are the same thing by geminisage, 10.3k, post s15 fix it. dean grieves cas - and then cas gets brought back back from the empty. i didn’t have this in my bookmarks so i MISSED it the first time around on this list but this was another one of the fics i came back to spn fandom to. it’s so fucking unique?? it actually reads like spn like i think fic tends to soften dean/cas up and makes them more emotional + emotionally intelligent than is ever shown in the show. here the dialogue/characterization adheres RIGOROUSLY to their communication in canon in that dean’s not overtly emotional, and cas is very reserved. they have to negotiate their relationship exactly like they would in the show. it’s all clipped conversation and anger and hurt and (warning btw) LOTS of internalized homophobia on dean’s end but it’s SO worth it. dean navigating his [GESTURES VAGUELY] everything is compellingly written, emotionally true, and PERFECTLY characterized. cas characterization also amazing like u rlly feel the quiet devoted bittersweet love. ok this was long clearly it’s a good fic go read it now

Just as Dean knew they would, the weeks do stretch into months, and then into a year. Grief never gets easier, Dean knows from experience, but you do get better at it. After all, you can get used to anything.

the violin house by teh_helenables, 8.5k, post-s5. dean and cas build a home after stull. so slow and lovely and sweet and gentle. i need to put this here so that i don’t forget it tbh. it’s very much dean as a war wife cas as the husband away on the front

The Apple Pie Life is a slow process, but Dean and Cas are getting there—until Cas is called for battle and Dean is forced to wait.

💖 muscle memory by komodobits, 18.9k, au. amnesiac cas wakes up three years in the future with dean in his kitchen. komodobits DOES NOT FUCKING MISS!!! i CRIED at the end of this i had NO INTENTION OF CRYING the rest of the fic isn’t even SAD i just had to sit there at the end of it w tears dribbling down my face. INSANE work of art

Dear Castiel,

Hello – it’s Castiel. This must all seem very confusing, and I’m sorry for that. Dean says to tell you that this isn’t some kind of ‘time-travel stunt’, although I’m sure that won’t be your first thought. I know it wasn’t mine. I’ve told Dean to leave now, as this is my notebook and I want everything in it to come from me – or rather, from you. I know you think it's the fifteenth of January, 2010, but it isn't. At the time of my writing this, the date is the fourth of October, 2013. Dean Winchester is your boyfriend of a year and a half, and you no longer work at the library, and in early 2010 you were hit by a car and hospitalised. I’m sorry.

a.k.a the 50 First Dates Dean/Cas AU where Castiel wakes up on a day just like any other, except that three years have passed without his knowing, and Dean Winchester is in the kitchen wanting to marry him.

don’t forget the experience points by annie d (scaramouche), 10.8k, au. cas is sam’s work friend, and he and dean get to know each other. genuinely an adorable fic. i adore cas’ characterization in this it’s snarky AND awkward AND confident in a way that i absolutely believe he would be if he had 30 yrs of human life under his belt

It's because Dean was an awesome brother than he took such an interest in Sam's new friend. No, really. What happened afterwards was mostly an accident.

actus fidei by manic_intent, 5.6k, canonverse au. dean’s a priest, cas is still his angel. i was HOOKED from the description alone like That’s Everything I Love in One Sentence. Cool!!!!!!!!!!!!

On the very first time that Castiel manifests in front of Father Dean Winchester, he gets as far as "Rejoice, for you are blessed-" before Dean shoots him with a salt-loaded shotgun.

not with a bang but a yelp by strange_estrangement, 1.4k, canonverse. team free will leave yelp reviews. this isn’t d/c actually it’s just a crack-ish fic but the formatting is cool and the references are SO funny and so well done

What happens when you visit dozens and dozens of motels every year? You leave Yelp reviews.

the courtship of combat by bendingsignpost, 18.2k, medieval a/b/o au. cas is politically coerced into fighting in a courtship melee for prince dean's hand, and he teams up with two unexpected allies to do it. I KNOW HOW THE ABO THING SOUNDS but i swear it's done well - it's by bendingsignpost so ofc he puts his own spin on the premise. im absurdly into it. PLUS jack is in it!!!!!!! it's technically an unfinished series but the first part is so good just on its own

When pressed upon to mate for a political alliance, Commander Castiel dares to refuse his king. As “I do not wish to mate at all” is clearly the wrong thing to say, Castiel takes the other path and lies. “You must know my affections lie elsewhere, my king.”

King Michael studies Castiel’s face long and hard. Then, with a nod, he snaps his fingers, pointing to Castiel. “The Winchester omega.”

“Yes,” Castiel says with no real recollection of who that is.

The ruse of an unavailable omega works well enough, right up until that omega is no longer unavailable. Then, with what seems to be his entire nation cheering him on toward victory, Castiel must enter the melee to win his mate. Backed by allies, training, and his own natural talents, the only question is how well he can contrive to fail.

four letter word for intercourse by bendingsignpost, 194.7k, au. dean calls a sex hotline. OH BOY solid characterization excellent plot/premise like bendingsignpost is so good at turning absurd premises into realistic, believable fiction. also sex hotline fic is usually a BIG turn-off bc of the power dynamics/one-sidedness of a relationship based on sex work but. BUT. bendingsignpost does it well! it’s not weird at ALL i started reading and was immediately reassured abt its intentions and its plot direction

As a grease monkey turned college freshman, Dean's constantly three seconds away from being stressed out of his mind. It hardly helps that he's finally figuring out his sexuality in his thirties.

What might help with that stress is a little phone number (and a big credit card bill). If he can't figure out how to be bisexual in person, he can at least give it a go over the phone, right?

(It's probably a bad idea, but he really can't help himself.)

the tunnel of love by xylodemon, 21.4k, post-canon. case fic! dean and cas have to kiss on a loveboat to solve a case >:)

"We might," Cas starts slowly, pausing like he's choosing his words. "We might have to kiss."

Dean just stares at him.

when you have a future. by firebog, 17.6k, post-s8. dean and sam and cas learning to be human post-apocalypse. reminds me of robotmango’s writing! it’s kind of eccentric and very very sweet and funny.

Sam closes Hell. Castiel closes Heaven. The heroes save the day. There's no Heaven or Hell waiting to cause the next big disaster. There's no more end of the world. There's only a squirmy feeling in his chest that feels a lot like freedom. So, now what?

(Things I promise you in this fic: dog poetry, rabbits, and fluff)

six inch heels by alitneroon, 2.3k, canonverse. dean does drag! excellent fucking character study. prose is fantastic

Dean does drag on a whim, and ends up in way over his head.

sharing is caring by gateskeeper, 2.5k, canonverse. five times dean and cas shared something and one time they didn’t. look. sometimes u just need some saccharine tropey fluff. it’s VERY well written

Sam knows that Dean and Cas have shared a lot together, but ever since Cas became human permanently, it seems like they've been sharing a lot more. 

Or: five times Dean and Cas shared something special and one time Dean refused to.

💖 empty spaces by schmerzerling, 60k, au. dean has to take care of his dying father, and takes up running to cope. that’s just the beginning. HEAVY trigger warnings for ED (specifically anorexia) and suicidal thoughts. there is a happy ending, but dean has to fight to make it there. god. okay. this is a dark fic. it’s also one of the most well-characterized fics i’ve ever read. dean’s spiral is excruciatingly accurate and written with the kind of wry compassion that comes from either extensive research or extensive experience. it’s also completely immersed in dean’s perspective - dean’s relationship w his dad, dean’s relationship w food scarcity, etc. it’s incredible. it’s kinda scary. it’s deeply sad. cas is explicitly autistic and it’s ALSO incredibly accurate and loving, and makes cas so true to his canon self. ugh. and i burst into TEARS at some of the accompanying art, which is so sparse and lonely and beautiful. 100/10 experience one of the best fics i’ve read this year

Dean is fine. The way he sees it, things are simple. He had a house and a family and food in his stomach, and now he doesn't. And yeah, that's a downer, but he's not going to let that stop him from being fine, because he's in control of the situation. He definitely doesn't need anyone to save him. And it's not like the weird guy with the nice butt from down the road is the knight-in-shining-armor type, anyway.

broken road by thegeminisage, 109.6k, 14x13 au. dean makes a wish and gets more than he bargained for. a lot of “john comes back” fics are kinda short on nuance, which this author has talked about a lot - and oh MAN does this fic deliver on nuance. john’s abuse is absolutely present, but his pov makes him a complex character instead of a flat caricature for dean to reject. and the way this fic resolves really makes it clear that the priority is dean’s emotional well-being over all else!!! this isn’t about dean taking the path fandom thinks he should take w his abuser (killing john, punching john in the face, etc), this is abt dean coming to terms w his abuse and finding his own emotionally satisfying way of resolving it. also dean and cas are in an established relationship and it’s very slow and sweet.

A 14.13 Lebanon rewrite. When Dean uses a wish-granting pearl to try and kill the archangel Michael before he can escape the cage in Dean's head, they instead wind up with a newly-resurrected John Winchester.

It's been more than a decade since John died, and a lot has changed: Mary is alive, Sam and Dean have what passes for a proper home in the Men of Letters Bunker, and they're living with angels. John doesn't know angels are real, he doesn't know about the fragile new relationship between Dean and Castiel, and most of all, he doesn't know that Dean said yes to Michael, or that Dean's plan to defeat Michael would send him to a fate worse than death.

Now Dean must contend with both his father asking questions he can't answer, and his loved ones learning about the darker truths of his childhood, all while constantly battling the archangel trapped inside him. But Dean coming to terms with his history may be the difference between this being the beginning of a journey—or the end. 

home is not a place by imogenbynight, 6.8k, post-s11. human cas struggles with belonging, and dean struggles with their relationship. this reads a lot like komodobits’ cuckoo and nest, but it’s its own sweet little thing. they watch movies!!! very cute 

In which Dean is the oblivious one for a change.

love: a retrospective by xylodemon, 40.7k, post-s12. dean tries to deal w cas’ absence after s12 and reflects on their relationship thru the years. this was written before s13 aired, so - no spoilers - but jack plays a different role than he ends up playing in canon. it’s kinda fun seeing ppl’s theories pre-s13 tbh. makes me VERY glad that they took jack in the direction they did in show. anyway this is THEE definitive “they’ve been fucking all along” fic

Pretending Cas is just his friend has been the only thing keeping Dean's head on straight for years. He never realized how much doing that depended on him making himself scarce in the morning ─ not until Cas came back and moved into the bunker.

✨💖 if it all fell to pieces tomorrow by spocklee, 37k, post-s15 fix-it. cas gets broken out of the empty - and he immediately makes a break for it. new fave fix-it!!!! the writing is so understated and so straightforward - SO in character for cas tbh - that every single emotional beat feels like a PUNCH. and there are so many amazing character moments it made my chest seize the fuck up!!!!! perfect characterization perfect relationship moments perfect cas/jack parenting moments. the yearning over the phone is OFF THE CHARTS and spocklee makes the most of that tension!!!! PLUS old canon characters get to make fun appearances!!!!! i cannot recommend this shit enough

After the Empty, Cas has to spend some time alone. Orpheus tries to convince Eurydice over the phone that it’s okay to turn around now.

✨ before and after breakfast by spocklee, 10.5k, post-canon. dean and sam and cas tackle a monster of the week case with unexpected consequences. perfect pov perfect relationship moments SUCH GOOD TENSION. again this writing style just lets the tension dial up to 1000% every word is meaningful and it makes my chest hurt!!! spocklee SHOULD have blown up during the spn renaissance and i STAND by that

The monster of the week is a ghost who hates meat, alcohol, and feeling yourself. Guess who it is during the commercials.

CLASSICS

isn't it cool how every person has diff fics they consider "classics?" anyway these are required fucking reading. if u've been around these will prob be old news.

💖 asunder by rageprufrock, 23k, au. dean and cas go to sam's wedding. i reread this once a year like a religious ritual.

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Matthew 19:6)

💖 the girlfriend experience by rageprufrock, 15k, set during s5. dean teaches cas how to be human. mostly the sex part. literally the gold fucking standard of s4-5 era deancas fic and for deancas fic in general, personally

While it's not like Dean hasn't had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him.

okay, cupid. by orange_crushed, 4.5k, au. dean tries to sign up for an ok cupid profile and has a revelation. as soon as i put this entry down i realized this entire fic rec was an exercise in futility, because if i could i'd literally just rec everything orange_crushed/robotmango has ever written. still one of THEE best authors in this fandom. go read all her fics. i’ll put the highlights here

"The dating thing?" Dean frowns. "Online dating is for weirdos. Robots. Dudes hanging out in their basements."

"You hang out in your basement."

"I have an air hockey table down there,” Dean says, icily.

💖 pwp: pie without plot by orange_crushed and majorenglishesquire, 82k, post-s8. sam and dean and cas quit hunting for a little bit to open a bakery. this is my comfort fic. i love it so so much.

he is in the kitchen with flour on his hands and an apron and there is flour on his forehead and cas leans across the counter and wipes it off with his thumb and dean says "thank you" and cas says "you’re welcome" very seriously and later dean makes apple turnovers and he only ruins them a little and sam realizes it’s not a real hunt like four days into it and he lets dean stay undercover for like a week and a half or longer maybe way longer because he is such a good everything

💖 la cucina by orange_crushed, 4k, post-s8. dean gets into cooking for a newly human cas. it's so gentle and loving and kind and makes me tear up every time. YES food is a comfort item and expression of love for dean. no i don't want to talk about it

Dean turns around and Castiel is picking through the jars, turning them over carefully to read the labels, totally engrossed. Dean watches him.

"Is there," Dean says, "uh, anything in there you like?" Castiel looks up at him and then back at the apples, sitting in a basket on the counter in their golden skins, ripe and pretty. Castiel smiles up at Dean.

"I don’t know yet," he says.

today, your barista verse by orange_crushed, 13.6k, coffeeshop au. a series of short sweet lovely fics where cas is a barista and dean is a smitten customer. literally the only coffeeshop au i respect

"Is that-"

"My number," says Dean, because he's a fucking champion, he's cool, he's collected, he's Captain Smooth of the USS Smoothtania, that's right. He is definitely not leaning against the counter for moral support. Cas doesn't looked seduced or impressed, though. He does not look like a dude who just met Captain Smooth and wants to ride the loveboat. He looks puzzled.

fata morgana. by orange_crushed, 6.6k, post-s9. dean is the king of hell. bela and cas team up to find him. bela pov. yeah you fucking heard that right BELA POV. BELA AND CAS!!!!!!!!!! makes me lose my mind i love everyone in this stupid desolate fucking hell wasteland.

The endless asphalt and broken road, the empty land and piles of human garbage, the unwanted ends of life, the cracked toys and broken screens and burning cars and gravel. Dean Winchester is the king of hell.

"Oh," says Bela.

That changes certain things.

💖 gran fury. by orange_crushed, 5k, pacific rim au. sam and cas pair up in a last ditch mission to save the world. permanently damaged me at age 15 and i've never recovered. major fucking angst warning.

They sit in silence and Castiel passes him the bottle. There’s not much left to say. Sam takes a gulp and it burns going down, like the cheap shit it is. He holds the bottle up against the light. He can see the Fury through it, distorted like a funhouse mirror. She’s a tomb but Sam loves her. Loves everything that’s left.

"To the end of the world," he says.

"To the end of the world," says Castiel.

💖 shut up (put your money where your mouth is) by kototyph, 24k, au. dean and cas get drunk married in vegas. dean renovates cas' house. this fic is SO MUCH BETTER than i remembered/expected and the entire series is fucking adorable go read it RIGHT now

Dean's done some pretty stupid things, but getting drunk-hitched in Vegas to a colleague he barely knows might just take the cake. His surprise husband, Castiel, is a little weird but likable despite that, and Dean figures they’ll go back to Boston, get a quiet annulment, and go their separate ways. Six weeks later, he’s still married to one of the strangest, most genuine and definitely most dangerously lov-- likable guys he's ever known. Dean doesn't know why or really even how it’s happening, but it’s getting harder and harder to remember that he has divorce papers to file.

not part of the plan by annie d (scaramouche), 338k, arranged marriage au. cas is slated to marry a noble from the winchester house. things spiral out of control. if you’re looking for an extensive well-developed political au, this is fucking it. i love reading about political machinations so this was FASCINATING to me. 

Castiel's spent most of his adult life keeping his head down and staying out of trouble. This is a deliberate choice on his part, because as a cousin of the King, he'd rather stay unimportant and forgotten. This changes abruptly when King Michael decides that he has a better use for Castiel: he is to be wed to a noble member of the neighboring Republic, as part of an agreement between their two nations.

Castiel knows he has to obey, but that doesn't mean he won't rebel in what small ways he can. Unexpectedly, his actions end up having far-reaching consequences.

💖 all things shining by askance and standbyme, 142k, au. sam and dean and cas go on a hunt that's not really a hunt, and against all odds good things happen. it's beautifully written and has scenes that literally make my heart leap out of my chest with joy and awe it's just WONDERFUL it's a wonderful fic. incredible mythology too omg i found that the authors actually created the myth the entire story is based on - like they don’t pull a random one from history, they made one up THEMSELVES. they even self-published it on amazon if ur curious

Something in the world is waking up.

It isn’t long before it’s brought to the attention of the Winchesters and Castiel: miracles are spreading across the country, the paranormal seems to be shrinking back on itself—and it all has something to do with the missing prayer book of a traveling preacher who died over a century ago.

Dean is convinced it’s all the lead-up to another Apocalypse; Sam and Castiel aren’t so sure. Regardless, it sends them out on a less-than-typical road-trip, following the Mississippi and remnants of a very old story that seems increasingly to call to them. And along the way the trio learn much more about themselves—and the consequences and origins of love—than they’d ever have anticipated.

💖 broadway musical by griftings, 12.4k, crack. romcom where cas is supposed to play matchmaker to dean and jo and well. you know. it actually made me cackle out loud when i read it again so you know it's still good. absolutely one of the funniest fics i’ve read

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle.

The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at.

Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.

the five people you meet in heaven by chevrolangels, 22k, ambiguously canonverse. dean dies and goes to heaven and meets five people from his life. NOT a post-finale fic but still horrifically sad. i remember sobbing hysterically when i first read this so

Heaven is white.

Well. Isn’t that fucking stereotypical.

Dean isn’t really sure how he got here. Or even why he’s here. And hell, for all the times the Winchesters have died, he thinks he ought to know the drill by now. But what he doesn’t know is when most folks go, they find something different.

There’s a system God put in place. That when you’re gone (for good), there are a couple things you gotta do first. There are five people waiting for you.

They are the five people you meet in heaven.

any port in a storm by microcomets, 53k, post-s8. dean and cas go on a haunted cruise for a case. you know what happens next. also the art is by anobviousaside and it's gorgeous

The angels have fallen, leaving Castiel graceless and Dean with, well, more of other people’s problems. When a string of couples goes missing on the east coast, Dean and Cas decide to investigate—and find themselves trapped and hunted on a couples’ counseling cruise. Although battling monsters at sea is dangerous enough, sorting through emotional baggage proves to be far more deadly. (And, in which Cas embarks to find his missing grace and Dean is put out. Not necessarily in that order.)

a turn of the earth by microcomets, 95k, pre-canon au. cas is on the run from the empty and crash lands in dean's life. at one point he punches john in the face. a fucking beautifully written character study of pre-canon dean, honestly.

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)

unfinished duet by microcomets, 5.8k, canonverse. sam observes dean and cas throughout the years. i remember this breaking my heart back in 2013!

Sam watches Dean and Cas over the years and notices a few things. (Or, Dean and Cas unscripted.)

💖 ergative/absolutive by glassedplanets, 8k, college au. dean and cas are best friends who meet in an astronomy class. i'm never not thinking about this fic it's so sweet and the friends to lovers is so soft and believable

He really shouldn’t be thinking thoughts like this about his best friend who literally just broke up with his girlfriend, but he knows he’ll blame it on sleepiness in the morning. He always does.

a certain light by flightagain, 24k, au. cas works at the gas n sip. dean is a customer. this author’s writing style is so lonely and heavy but it’s very lovely

Castiel works at the Gas-n-Sip. There are half-price nachos and flickering lights, there are office-workers and werewolves stopping by for snacks. Dean is a frequent customer, and his office might be haunted.

the one thing you can’t lose by majorenglishesquire, 5k, ambiguously canonverse. dean can pull cas around and it’s adorable. character study-ish. very sweet.

You know what I like a lot? The thought that Dean can just tug Cas anywhere at any time and Cas, who can lift tons without effort, who can demolish things with the light of his grace, who has battled and gone to war, has defended and broken, will just let Dean do it.

brother lover by twentysomething, 4k, set during s4/s5. dean’s jealous of sam and cas’ budding relationship. this fic is so tropey but it does it well and it’s funny as fuck

However- and it doesn't happen a lot- they have to invoke 'I saw her first.’

his fucking kids by 8sword, 3k, canonverse au. dean and cas raise claire and emma together. yes, claire novak. yes, emma of 7x13 spice girls fame. this was the first kidfic i read for spn i think. obvs written before jack or claire actually came back into the picture but it was the TEMPLATE of kidfic for me for ages

Jesus, the school should just have a parking spot labeled, “Reserved for the Novak-Winchesters,” because Dean’s getting sick of having to cruise around the parking lot looking for a spot every time he gets a call from the principal about Emma.

💖 what has eight tentacles and isn’t allowed to eat pie? by annie d (scaramouche), 16k, post s8. dean gets turned into an octopus. another fic that was SO MUCH BETTER than i remembered i fucking love when that happens. it isn’t even about dean being an OCTOPUS like NO. NOT EVEN. it’s ACTUALLY about the bunker and building a home and a community and a family and about PHYSICAL COMFORT and you can actually feel the world expanding at the end of this fic like a gusty sigh of relief it’s SO WONDERFUL. kevin is in this fic. ellie is too and i had to look her up but THIS is her!!!! danay garcia u were too hot to stay on this show but i love you and miss u

Dean watched an anime porn about this once, but real life turns out to be way less interesting.

Or, the one where Dean gets turned into an octopus.

💖 a beginner’s guide to communing with the dead by suspiciousflashlight, 77k, canonverse au. dean is a cop who summons a powerful entity to help him solve a cold case. oh my god i can’t believe i didn’t put this on here i love this one so much. the writing bowls me over it’s so confident in its worldbuilding like you’re IMMEDIATELY plunged into dean’s pov (FLAWLESSLY executed throughout the fic btw) and you just learn about the world as you go!! and it’s such a fascinating world!!! i love the magic i love the typical bureaucratic red tape procedures i love normalizing the supernatural. i ESPECIALLY love monsters as normal people in a society. at one point there’s this exchange

“Monsters,” says Cas finally. “Beyond the Wall there are monsters.” “You mean, like, vampires and djinn and stuff?” Cas shakes his head. “Those aren’t monsters, those are just people.”

those lines have stayed with me for years. i think about them every time i rewatch an episode of spn.

Maybe it's the little girl whose disappearance turned into a murder, and whose murder turned into a cold case, and who has now apparently decided to move in with him. Maybe it's the unacceptable hole left in his life when his dumb best friend and partner in (the prevention of) crime decided to go and get himself killed. Maybe it's his brother, whose high-profile career and fantastic girlfriend and first-child-on-the-way are steadily leaving Dean in the dust. Pick one. Pick all of them. The why doesn't matter so much as the what, and the what is this: Dean is pretty sure he's going completely, certifiably insane. Sure, he hasn't started wearing all his clothes inside out, and he still showers on a regular basis (anyways, that's not crazy, just a little eccentric); but there's no getting around the fact that he just threw away his life, his career, and his reputation by dragging out his mom's old necromancy book and summoning a Class A Forbidden Entity to his attic. A cranky one, too. With horrendous bed-head.

dean’s list by almaasi, 3k, canonverse. dean makes a list. short and sweet. i read this so much in 2015 that it literally got engraved into my brain line by line and rereading it caused synapses to fire that havent felt anything in years

Dean writes out a list of men he would go gay for. Sam has a suggestion to make.

💖 the path of fireflies by museaway, 63.7k, post-s8. dean and cas open a charming bed and breakfast in vermont. no, literally. another CLASSIC. i think about the food in this fic all the time...........maple bacon baked french toast......the cinnamon rolls.....it literally sounds so good

After his humanity is restored, Dean wakes up in bed with Castiel, a wedding ring, and no memory of the past twelve years.

long nights in cold months by pyrebi, 2.3k, au. dean’s an insomniac and cas works at walmart. i forgot i had this fic ALSO basically memorized. holy shit. pineapple in the fruit aisle.....................anyway it’s short and sweet and the “plot” resolves in such a satisfying way

When you're an insomniac, you get used to the "what the hell are you doing up, man?" look. Dean just hopes the guy who's stocking the shelves will stop giving it to him long enough to help him find some damn pineapple.

incredibly single & ready to mingle by imogenbynight, 3.6k, au. dean and cas meet on facebook. short cute au!!!!!!

Sam uses Facebook like the social media junkie he is. He's befriended literally every person he's ever had a conversation with since he got an account, which means that approximately—Dean checks—eight hours ago, he shared this horrible photo with something in the vicinity of nine hundred people. The caption below the picture reads “incredibly single & ready to mingle ;)” and roughly half of them have liked it.

Dean has never been so embarrassed in his life.

💖 unknown quantities by xylodemon, 8.5k, post-s8. after a post-case tryst, dean has to figure out his and cas’ relationship. human cas fics hold a special place in my heart. funny AND good dean pov AND a misunderstanding that i actually think works!!!!!

No one ever tells Dean anything.

(or: Dean Winchester and the not-relationship crisis of 2014)

#spn fic #spn #dean x cas #this is horrifically long actually.

[ironmandeficiency]

day two: captain hearth & achilles

get ready for day two!! these guardsmen have a lot of sweet & a lot of sad in their stories, so buckle up y’all. these two boys do have ships w other oc’s, so if you wanna know more i’ll gladly share (and there’s probs a ton that i’m missing so 🤷🏻‍♀️)

crane, jamie, & crow belong to my dear friend @capricornrabies and the art was done by @persaloodles

playlists: captain hearth and achilles & skadia

fics: home (achilles x reader), you’re just harder to see than most (achilles x skadia)

trigger warning: suicide, civvie-initiated violence against the cg, character death

literally so kind and he actually has brain cells

literally so kind and he actually has brain cells

known for giving bomb ass hugs

has flame tattoos that start on his wrists (where two black bands w/ a brick-like patterning make circlets) and go up toward his elbows

will never hesitate to help someone else in need no matter how it affects him

named for the goddess hestia, of home and the hearth partly bc his hugs make ppl yearn for a home they never had

his callsign is “fire” in asl (spreading hands into fives and w palms facing you, bringing hands upward and wiggling fingers slightly)

doesn’t understand why ppl love him so much but doesn’t question it

best friends w crane and will give him habitats for crane’s bugs after extensive research over what they need

can naturally cook SOOO WELL, like no one even knows how bc the longnecks sure af didn’t teach him. crane will sneak him ingredients sometimes and snoop will send follow-along videos for recipes he thinks hearth should try, typically including snoop’s senator friend

didn’t talk to thire for a week after he insulted hearth’s cooking

knitted who a scarf with the colors of several battalions and since then, began to knit care packages to be sent to his brothers on the front lines (blankets, scarves, gloves, etc.). was able to enlist the help of morticus to lighten the load and when the 501st is on leave, they like to knit together and talk shit abt their bros

was accidentally pranked by crow and it had disastrous results. hearth was trying to get fox some dinner and when he opened the door to fox’s office, where the glitter was rigged, hearth was covered in red glitter and a perfectly good bowl of soup was ruined

adopted angry boy achilles and when he noticed achilles intentionally trying to get himself killed, had yelled in anger for the first time

hearth calling achilles on his shit is the one time people see hearth angry about anything bc normally he’s the most loving dude

hearth, being named for hestia, normally the “flames” of his personality are akin to a soothing fireplace made to comfort and chase the chill away, but his anger is a wildfire that no one thus far has been able to control. you have to let hearth deal with his anger on his own until he’s able to quell it down, man doesn’t know what power he holds when angry bc he just doesn’t use that emotion hardly ever

but back to achilles diving into danger and hearth calling him on it

hearth feels incredibly guilty abt yelling afterwards and tries to find achilles to apologize, but it was too late

man ended up holding his vod’ika as he died, glad that achilles wasn’t suffering anymore but miserable bc he failed good brother

used to have long crimson hair he’d let achilles braid when the latter was coming down from his fits of anger or depression. after achilles died, he kept it trimmed to a regulation buzz. still keeps hairties on his wrist as if he still needs to tie it up bc it’s muscle memory to put them on in the mornings

you see hearth and think he would immediately be attracted to the softer and kinder people the world has to offer but no

this man is head over heels for the far angrier, blunt, and nearly indifferent jamie (belongs to @capricornrabies also). she’s a police captain w the coruscant police and has a reputation for being grumpy

jamie has cybernetics/prosthetics (hand, and eye at the minimum), and sometimes they malfunction, that’s just what they do. he learns quick the ins and outs of taking care of someone w/ prosthetics and is super gentle

soft dom (and a sprinkle of brat tamer) vibes

jamie has a younger sister named jacob (you’ll learn abt her later) and they’ve been thru hell. jamie’s prosthetics/cybernetics were punishments from handlers for not performing to their standards (think of smth akin to hydra & the winter soldier program, that kind of cruelty).

jacob and jamie were born into poverty in the lower levels of coruscant, so when a program to have steady employment came up in exchange for genetic testing they took it

she is very mistrusting but it comes out more in rash anger and being an ass

when she sees her sister start to become more domestic, jamie is upset but then does the exact same thing with hearth

was like a big sister to achilles bc big sister instinct told her to protect this soft angry bean

jamie is a very avid practiced of the tough love and it’s useful when hearth needs to be reminded to get out of his head

achilles

inspired by the song “achilles come down” by gang of youths (OWW)

was basically adopted by hearth when he joined the guard and had no idea what to do abt it

was too used to being the one to take care of his brothers, being the oldest of his batch back on kamino. but after one brother died in a training simulation & two were decommissioned, he lost hope and isolated himself from his kih’vod until they were all stationed somewhere he wasn’t and he couldn’t worry

has really bad anxiety & hearth would let him braid his hair to come down from attacks. it was very soothing to both parties & hearth personally liked the braiding the best when achilles did it

don’t let his outbursts fool you he is an absolutely precious and loving soul. would give the shirt off his back to someone in need

very shy when it comes to romance. wants what’s best for his s/o and dates are the few times where he feels truly safe to open up and be happy

this sweet boy gets to show off all that sugar sweetness w skadia, who belongs to @roseofalderaan . embraces her culture, shows her what it’s like to truly love, the whole nine yards.

skadia has wings and they’re his favorite thing ever. he’ll run his hands thru them, help her preen. absolutely adores it when she cages him in w them

they loved to dance together, typically something soft and slow where they could hold each other as close as possible and get lost in the moment

after being in the guard for a few years, he was disillusioned and angry with life bc he saw how clones were treated & that nothing was done about it, both on kamino and coruscant

tried to do things abt it himself but they always backfired, thus resulting in him getting demerits and beat up by civvies

hearth would be the first one contacted when he limped back into the barracks and was always walked to the medbay by his ori’vod (sometimes letting achilles rest most/all of his weight on him as they walked/limped)

one of these times, he tried to call out a merchant for being racist against clones but got jumped. from there, had started to intentionally endanger himself on missions

stopped listening to orders and would charge into bad situations with the intent to get himself killed

hearth is the one to call him on his shit. achilles ends up feeling incredibly guilty for making his ori’vod angry and in his guilt/anger, left and provoked the merchant from before. the merchant killed him and hearth was only seconds too late

in short this absolute angel deserved more than he got

#blue jay’s boys #achilles x reader #clone trooper achilles #clone trooper hearth #captain hearth #swtcw #clone oc #clone oc x reader