#She didn't stay with her family bc she didn't get along with her own mom for shit

[jihyocentric]

fwb jeonghyo on the day following this bc i couldn't sleep

-

"i love her too but you can't bark, puppy," jihyo whispers for peanut as soon as she goes back to her room. the puppy seems to understand, walking slowly along with jihyo, his paws feather-like on the ground. "good boy."

in her hands, she had breakfast for jeongyeon. although jeongyeon had banned her from cooking, jihyo was still allowed to make coffee and toasts. those were slightly burnt, and the coffee too strong, but it was all jihyo could do.

jihyo guessed she should make up for what she did the night before. not even herself had the courage to use her phone, knowing by the notifications that her parents had texted her, and it was likely that they had seen 'jeongyeon's' post.

truth to be told, jihyo didn't think about the fact that she had outed them as a couple not only for the girls who insisted on hitting on jeongyeon, but also for their families. there was nothing she could do about it, too, aside from pampering jeongyeon for as long as she could before her 'girlfriend' found out what she'd done.

"this can't be here." jihyo mutters, taking jeongyeon's phone from the nightstand. she turns it off and places it in a drawer, leaving their breakfast on a small table that was next to her side of the bed.

peanut makes a whining sound, asking jihyo to put him on the bed. she takes him and laughs when he jumps off of her arms and goes straight for jeongyeon, lying next to her, all while jeongyeon slept peacefully, clueless to the mess jihyo made while she took a needed rest.

jihyo lies down next to jeongyeon, on the opposite side to peanut, sighing when she realizes for the nth time how pretty jeongyeon was. she nearly forgets that the coffee was getting cold and the toasts, as if they could really get any worse, would be dry and hard if they got cold.

placing a soft kiss on jeongyeon's lips, jihyo touches her face carefully. "wake up, jeongie."

her whispers alone weren't enough, and in order to make jeongyeon wake up jihyo, pecks her lips a few more times. she doesn't usually wake jeongyeon up like that, so when jeongyeon opens her eyes she looks around, checking if she was still in her room and if everything was okay. jihyo being that soft in the morning was suspicious.

"did something happen?" jeongyeon groans, relaxing when she realizes everything is in place. she blinks slowly and looks at jihyo, who shakes her head and smiles. it's convincing, really. jeongyeon would never imagine what that adorable smile was hiding.

"maybe," jihyo laughs, trying to sound cool. "i made breakfast. you were so tired last night, i thought you could use a treat, baby."

jeongyeon raises an eyebrow at the 'baby'. jihyo rarely, if ever, called her that. jihyo forces her smile wider, and jeongyeon tries to believe she's just being unusually sweeter.

"i could've done it for us, you know i don't mind it," jeongyeon yawns, noticing peanut on her left side. she coos at him, patting his head tenderly. "if he stays here we'll have to change the sheets."

"i know, it's about time anyway... we should eat before-" jihyo gets interrupted by a ringing sound.

it wasn't jeongyeon's phone, as she had hidden it strategically, but her own. peanut's ears perk up as if he understood what's going on, and jihyo looks at jeongyeon nervously.

"someone is calling you," jeongyeon tells her. it wasn't all that weird that jihyo was getting a call that early on a saturday. if anything, that could be nayeon. "aren't you picking it up?"

"u-uh, sure," jihyo gulps as she grabs her phone, her hands trembling when she notices it's her mom calling. to make it even worse, it was a video call. "actually, i think we should have breakfast first and then..."

"it's your mom!" jeongyeon takes the phone away from jihyo's hands. "of course we're talking to her first, park jihyo."

jihyo tries to get her phone back. "jeongyeon, i think we should really eat..."

before she gets to finish, her mom and her dad show up on the screen. jeongyeon smiles at them and jihyo looks down, her cheeks rosy, knowing exactly why they had called for.

"they're both here!" jihyo's mom claps happily, her husband holding the phone to get them both on the screen. "park jihyo, you should've told us sooner!"

if jihyo could, she'd bury herself in a hole and never come back. she didn't know how to explain that she wasn't actually dating jeongyeon, but she didn't want to explain their relationship to her parents, much less the reason why those pictures were on jeongyeon's feed.

their 'friends with benefits' status wasn't the most dignified thing whatsoever, and she was sure that her parents wouldn't understand what the 'benefits' from their established relationship meant. it would be even worse if they did, but jihyo wasn't going to tell them about it.

jeongyeon looks at jihyo questioningly as she hears jihyo's parents talking about how proud they were of them, and that they'd make a visit with jeongyeon's parents soon because they'd been waiting for 'that' to happen for a long time.

"m-mom, it's not what you're thinking..." jihyo all but stutters, but her mom doesn't hear it. peanut jumps to jihyo's lap, licking jihyo's hand.

"you got a dog and a girlfriend and you didn't tell your parents? oh, she really forgot about us," jihyo's mom says, jihyo's dad sighing and shaking his head.

"she's all grown up now, she doesn't have time to call her parents." he says sadly, hugging his wife as if he was comforting her. "but i know jeongyeon is taking care of her. right, lady?"

from the anxious look jihyo gives her, jeongyeon figures she should just pretend she understands what is happening. she nods, smiling and placing an arm around jihyo's waist, showing them that jihyo was being well taken care of, despite not being sure if she would remain like that once the call was over.

"of course i am," jeongyeon leans her head against jihyo's. "i'll always make sure she's safe and sound, sir."

"mom, dad," jihyo cleans her throat, utterly flustered by the fact that her parents knew about her and jeongyeon now. "we were actually about to eat breakfast when you called. the c-coffee is getting cold, so..."

"oh, but of course, babygirl! we were just passing by to say we love you and to congratulate you girls," jihyo's mom rushes to say, with a big, proud smile on her face. "alright, we'll let you go for now."

"we'll call you soon!" jeongyeon promises, waving at jihyo's parents before she can turn off the call. once the call is over, jeongyeon puts the phone away and looks at jihyo, taking a deep breath. "what did you do, park jihyo? what the hell was that?"

"i-i, uh..." jihyo looks down, caressing peanut's back as she tries to ground herself. "i posted some pictures..."

"pictures?" jeongyeon's eyes widen. "what kind of pictures?"

"it's just us cuddling! it's not that kind of pictures." jihyo quickly explains. she sighs and looks at jeongyeon, pouting, ready to work her charm on jeongyeon. "i was just tired of those girls hitting on you, so i made it clear we're together! i didn't think our parents would see it..."

jeongyeon takes a few seconds to reply, finding the situation funny and, in a way, unbelievable. at least jihyo's parents took it well, and she was sure her own parents would too — much to her annoyance, her parents liked jihyo as if she was their own daughter.

"i posted it on your social media," jihyo continues, drawing jeongyeon's attention. she looks at jeongyeon somewhat shyly, being careful with her words. "j-just to be sure that those girls saw it!"

jeongyeon sighs, shaking her head. "what should i do with you, park jihyo? you're unbelievable!"

peanut runs away from jihyo's lap when he spots his toy on the ground, leaving his moms alone on the bed. he could get down, but he only got up with help.

"maybe ask me to be your girlfriend?" jihyo answers jeongyeon's question, feeling more confident when jeongyeon doesn't show a negative reaction. "it's only fair now that everyone thinks we're dating!"

"i was thinking about it, but you don't deserve it now. and it's your fault if people think we're dating!" jeongyeon says and jihyo looks at her as if she was surprised. "what? you've been asking me to do that for so long, i can't hear the same complaint for that many weeks! but now i don't think i should."

"but... but i didn't mean for our parents to find out and... and the girls, they..." jihyo tries to find a reasonable answer, but even herself can't understand what went on in her head when she posted the pictures. "i want to be your girlfriend. just ask me!"

"nope." jeongyeon says firmly. "where's the breakfast you made?"

"jeongie." jihyo whines. jeongyeon pretends she doesn't hear it, and jihyo has no choice other than giving her the breakfast she took almost an hour to make. it still didn't look appetizing, and jihyo would laugh if she wasn't sulking. "i hope you enjoy your toast." jihyo mumbles, resentful, taking the less burnt toast for herself.

#drabble #jeongyeon #jihyo #jeonghyo #fwb!jeonghyo #non rq

[rawcherrycake]

@theartofeverything OHHH BOY ALRIGHT I'LL RANT ABOUT MY SCHOOL

Alright, so in the country i live there's like a net of semi-private schools (Semi as in to enter a school you have to pass an infamous test of 40 questions and to guarantee a vacancy you have to get at least 25 right, which isn't all that easy bcs i studied for two months straight and got 26 LMAO)

But i got in! (Somehow!!) And my school is the second largest in the area so super cool even though i tend to get lost HSHSH

Firstly, they are super inclusive. Only reason i haven't told anyone i'm trans is because my mom threatened that if i did she'd get me out of that school but teachers have pins and stickers about inclusion (mostly LGBTQ+) and they have a mural with a pride flag!!! Which i'm very happy my mom missed when she visited!!!!! An old friend of mine that studied there for a year before me assured that if i told the teachers about my situation they'd be very careful to use the right pronouns when talking to my mom, but i'm still paranoid as hell so

Secondly, it's SO more organized than local public schools, we always have a teacher, they don't allow smoking in school grounds and the enviroment is simply better (they got a pond with geese and turtles AUGHH)

ALSO i'm a highschooler but they treat us like we were in university. We can come and go as we please, can stay until 10pm if we wished to, we can bring our own food and they got a MINI KITCHEN FOR THE STUDENTS with a fridge, and microwave, and sink, it's amazing!!!! Though this also means more responsability for us, but i'm all in for that.

On the first day they also have this weird tradition where they make every first year class watch a video of tap dance where the ocassional motivational word pops up and everybody just YELLS it, it's so funny because we didn't understand a thing of what was happening at first but just accepted it and joined the yelling HRJJAHD

They also have after-class clubs and courses, which in my country are very rare, though sadly i can't join any because of my schedule.

Anywho, i can't wait to make some new friends! I'm a very out-going and talkative person so i get along with pretty much everyone, but i haven't really made friends xD I tried talking to this girl from another class that had cool spiderverse pins but she never answered my messages sssoooooo... not gonna pressure her if she doesn't want to

OH ALSO they got an insta account made by students where if you see someone you're interested in (either platonically or romantically) you can anonymously send a pic and everyone teams up to figure out who it is 😭😭 wing-maning to the next level. My family jokes that one day i'll see a pic of myself there but i highly doubt it HSJSKA

Maybe these are all normal stuff for some people, but man for me it isn't.

I come originally from a third-world country where schools don't really have teachers or resources, and where i currently live conditions are MUCH better but a lot of public schools are very disorganised so i'm super hyped for this school jahfjsk

#Rant

[brbabcseu]

can u tell us more about mer and aj's relationship?

She came around at somehow both the most and least ideal time lol. He wouldn't have taken to her so quick if things hadn't broken down with his dad, and even then it wasn't fully to bond with her, it was just because he didn't want to be around Jesse. They just happen to start clicking along the way. AJ can't quite let go of the fact that she wasn't around, that'll always be a thorn in his side, even though he did just fine without her it's the principle of it you know? Like I said in one of my previous posts, he's a little more understanding knowing what a tough situation she was in, which was difficult to get out of her to begin with bc she really doesn't like being vulnerable or showing that she's had any kind of tragedy in life (so you can imagine she doesn't delve into the whole thing with her older sister-- she had a freak aneurysm and passed out of nowhere, Mer doesn't like to think abt it bc it fucks w her head)

She acts more like a sibling to him than anything-- at least at first. That way it stays kind of lax and lighthearted and absolves her of any real responsibility. But what can she say? The kid grew on her! And she wants to stick around Jesse and Jesse wants her to stick around which is like... Are you sure? Me? The failmom???

She gets him hooked on hate watching her favorite shitty reality shows w her and she wows him with the fact that she liked MCR-- though they will fight over whether Danger Days or Black Parade is the better album-- and for the most part find their own normal. Definitely not perfect, plenty of bumps in the road and misunderstandings and some resentment undealt with but all in good time. She's fun, she's chill, and at the end of the day she really does love him. It just took some distance and fourteen years.

Oh how could I forget?? Another reason AJ forces himself to be Team Mer at first is because he perked up at the idea of knowing more about his heritage! Jesse did his best to encourage him when he wanted to learn more about the Yupik culture, but obviously he doesn't have any connections himself so he could only do so much. Jesse actually lets Mer steal him away for a few weeks in the summer to visit family in Fairbanks. He meets a ton of uncles, aunts, and cousins!! Only two of the cousins are his age and they clicked right away. Mer's mom-- his grandma-- is a doll. So warm and welcoming and so excited to meet him. Amlliq-- Mer's younger sister and his aunt-- is coy and a touch prickly, but he has a feeling she'd punch anyone who looked at him wrong. AJ was always thankful for the small family unit he did have, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't long for something like this. So in a way, though he doesn't say it outright, he feels like Meriwa gave him quite a gift.

#you- asked simple straightforward question #me- gives ridiculously longwinded answer #im saur sorry #kylejsugarman #mutuals #ask #oc mer #oc aj #alaksa crew #ty !!!! for indulging me hehe

[colourful-void]

Happy friday! It’s almost Christmas for those who celebrate, and it IS Hannukah- so happy holidays! Do you think your favorite pokemon character has any fun holiday traditions? If not, here’s a question- are they pro- or anti- ugly sweaters? Would any of their pokemon tolerate a sweater for the holidays? Stay warm, and happy friday!

woo!

happy holidays all around and happy severe winter storm to everyone in the storm right now. to all those not in the storm or having a holiday, happy friday!

(i personally celebrate christmas so my answers are gonna be christmas-y!!)

let's see, with the current tops being nemona, goh, and lillie... Nemona strikes me as a zealous holidays girl. she's got traditions and every year she goes ham, there's so many decorations. she scouts out the perfect presents for penny arven and aoi for agessss and is just super excited to give them. i think her traditions would involve decorating the tree together and waking up early to open things!

Goh i think didn't have christmas traditions before ash, bcs his family was busy at christmas time with tech failures and stuff, so he mainly spent them alone. Then when he meets ash, they start doing stuff together and form new christmas traidtions! but all the traidtions are really atypical and just... silly things they like to do together. 'goh we gotta build a blanket fort its christmas eve' and stuff.

Lillie... i think also didn't due much precanon with her mom being as she was. maybe the aether family did stuff together, but lillie's probably... not able to remember much. instead though, i think she (in the anime) visits her friends a lot and participates in their traditions, or (in the game) has a quiet christmas with the professors!!

Nemona i think, adores ugly sweaters. i think nemona has really,, really bad fashion taste. she was raised with pretty dresses and school uniforms so on her own time she dresses in whatever the heck and it all clashes. comfort over style, so very much ugly sweaters!!! she'd put them on all her pokemon and i think they'd all go along with it as much as they could.. hehe goomy in a sweater....

goh is a Stylish Boy :tm: so its a NO!! to sweaters. until chloe and ash team up to be like goh wear this plsss <333 for your friends <33 only ash is entirely genuine and chloe is teasing the heck out of him. he agrees and relucently enjoys it. aceburn enjoys the sweater, inteleon copes because it loves goh, and grooky does not understand what he's wearing but hehe fun.

Lillie wantsss to wear an ugly sweater but can't choose one for herself because her mom picks all her clothes and i think she still has trouble deviating from that style. the professors get her a sweater to match with them and she is sooo happy she nearly cries. they all take a picture together =) (before taking the sweaters off. bcs it is hot.) vulpix will not wear an ugly sweater but it will wear a cute little one and other cutesy winter outfits <3

#void content #asks! #weekly anon

[zafirosreverie]

I already had it all (Carla x reader)

For @midnight-lestrange i hope you like it!

a/n: i didn't put the smut scene here because this was already too long. But let me know if you want me to write it!

a/n 2: I...I really didn't watch Ty's scenes. I just skipped them so, I'm sorry if this was OOC for him. But I won't apologise for anything else bc we all know Carla deserved a girlfriend.

#GiveCarlaAGirlfrendChallenge

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

You rolled your eyes and sighed when Carla came into the house crying. You didn't even ask, you already knew the story.

Isis looked at her daughter, then at you and subtly took her grandson's arm to leave you two alone. Jackson didn't even bother to look at his mom as he got up. They said goodbye to you before disappearing into their rooms. You didn't turn to the woman until you saw Jackson close his door.

Carla looked at you for a moment, feeling like a stranger in her own home.

"What did he do now?" you said.

Usually, you'd run to her side, hug her, and let her cry for a while while she sobbed and told you whatever it was that made her fight with Ty at the time. God, how you hated that man.

Not only did he have an amazing woman like Carla at his feet, but he also had the door open for a beautiful (if a bit messy) family. And the only thing that seemed to matter to him was how good was his girlfriend in bed.

Hell, the guy hadn't even bothered to properly introduce himself to the son of the woman he was fucking!! Isis had told you how he had shown up at Christmas, making out with Carla while Jackson just waved from the table.

It made you want to throw up.

Although, the woman was not helping either. Carla was your best friend, she had been for years! She was the first to welcome you to the spa, the one who made you laugh at your worst and made you do stupid things when she took you to the bar.

You loved spending time with her.

But Ty...he had changed her. You didn't want to be unfair to him, but since he hadn't bothered to introduce himself to you either, you'd still hate him. Well...you would hate him even if he turned out to be a nice guy, because he had what you couldn't.

You weren't sure exactly when you started falling in love with your best friend, but you did. For months you had become aware of how much you loved her, how much you wanted to be with her at every possible moment, how butterflies flooded your stomach when you heard her laugh, how your cheeks would blush when you were too close to her. You loved everything about her.

And everything that came with the woman. You got along wonderfully with Isis, who was seriously trying to be a better mother to her daughter. And you couldn't even begin to describe the love you felt for Jackson. That boy was a treasure! And it broke your heart that most seemed to prefer to ignore him.

"Y/N, are you even listening to me?" Carla's voice brought you back to the present.

"No" you admitted, looking straight at her "Not really"

Carla looked at you as if you had grown another head. She didn't expect you to say that. The woman didn’t know what was happening with you lately, you were usually tender, kind and supported her in everything. But in the last few weeks, you have become more distant and cold.

Although only with her. It seemed that the further you got away from Carla, the closer you got to Isis. She didn't want to admit it, but she felt a pang of jealousy and fear that her mother was stealing her...her best friend. It didn't make a lot of sense, but...

"Break up with him" you said suddenly

"What?" she blinked

"Break up with Ty" you repeated "Carla, he's not good for you. He's hurting you."

"That is not true"

"Then why did you come crying?" you crossed your arms

"You would know if you had listened to me" she told you, crossing her arms too

"I'm not talking about just now and we both know it" you said "This has been going on for weeks Carla!"

"It's not true" she insisted

"It's a routine at this point. You go out with him, disappear for hours, Jackson calls me to go get him, I stay here until you come back with tears in your eyes, I listen to you, you ‘break’ with him for a few days and then he smiles and you fall again. We all know the routine Carla! Isis doesn't even risk burning the kitchen anymore! She just waits until I get home to make dinner"

"Mom dines with you?" she asked, feeling that terror and jealousy build up inside her.

"And with Jackson" you reminded her.

"Since when?"

"Since you started ditching them for Ty, but that's not the point!" you frowned "The point is that you are no longer you, Carla, and it's his fault"

"That is not true!" she growled "I'm as me as ever"

"No" you said to her "The Carla I knew loved herself, wanted to rebuild a relationship with her mother and loved her son above everything else. The Carla I knew made jokes about Jackson, but it was to prevent others from doing it. My Carla would never have let a man make her cry. "

The woman froze a bit when you called her "My Carla." The heat in her chest returned, like every time you said something nice about her.

"Y/N-"

"No" you interrupted her "You're going to listen to me Dunkler! Because I'm sick of seeing you arrive like this! I'm sick of that idiot using you for your body and you letting him. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe he really feels something for you, but until he does a better job proving it, I won't change my mind. I'm also sick of seeing him take you away from your family. You said you wanted a better relationship with your mother, but Isis hasn't seen you properly in days. Ty hasn't even tried to get closer to Jackson, the SON of the woman he supposedly loves, to get to know him better! "

Carla looked at you in surprise. This was a whole new side. You have never lost your cool this way. And she hated herself for finding it a little hot.

"He's the only one who has really stayed with me for more than one night, Y/N" she said weakly. She knew it was a terrible reason, but it was the truth.

"So you will just let him do what he wants because you're afraid of being alone?!" you asked incredulous

"No! I-I really like him!" she said but it felt like a huge lie and that...that surprised her

"It's not fair Carla" you continued "It is not fair that you offer him all this! It is not fair that he has at his disposal a child as wonderful as Jackson and a mother-in-law as great as Isis. It is not fair that he has such a wonderful woman like you, a beautiful, hardworking and brave woman. He doesn't deserve you "

"You keep saying that because you don't know what it's like to be alone for so long! You don't know what it's like to feel like you're not enough for anyone!"

"I DO!" you yelled

"No you don't!" she yelled back at you "You are so perfect and cute and you have everyone at your feet! You can have whoever you want! So no, you don't know what it's like not to be enough for someone!"

"I do it because I've never been enough for you!" you growled "Because you've never seen me as anything more than a friend! And I hate you for that! I hate you because you come and flirt with me and then you go with him! I hate you because you gave him everything I've ever wanted! I hate him because he has what I can't have! AND I HATE YOU BECAUSE I CAN'T REALLY HATE YOU!! I HATE YOU BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN LOVE YOU AND YOU DON'T EVEN NOTICE IT!!!"

Carla froze in her place, staring at you. Her mind had gone blank. It took you a few moments to realize what you had said and you gasped as the realization hit you. You had confessed your feelings to her in the worst possible way. Shit.

"...I'd better go" you said hastily

You took your bag and took advantage of the fact that the woman still looked surprised to quickly pass her, almost running out of the house and to your car.

Carla just watched you go, not knowing what to do or what to think. What the fuck had just happened?

_________________

You cried all the way home. You cursed yourself a thousand times for being such an idiot. How could you do that? You had promised to always be there for her and now you had ruined everything! There was no way in the world that Carla could forgive you for this.

_________________

"Still here?" Isis asked, making her daughter jump "You've been staring at the wall for the last hour."

Carla frowned and turned her gaze away.

"Come on, get your fucking ass up and do something!" Isis insisted

"About what?"

"Oh don't play dumb with me. Jackson and I heard everything."

"What? Did you spy on us?" Carla asked a little angry

"Of course not! Your screams were heard throughout the house. I'm sure the neighbors heard too"

Carla blushed and looked at the ground before taking another gulp of her beer. Isis rolled her eyes and snatched it away.

"Ey!"

"Get out of here!"

Carla sighed "What do you want me to do? All that doesn't change anything"

"You're a terrible liar" the older woman scoffed "You've been drowning in your own misery since before I came back. You settled for that idiot just to not be left alone and now that you have a chance to have someone better, you will stay here getting drunk? I'm disappointed "

"Disappointed? It's something you would do yourself" Carla scoffed

"It's not true" Isis said, not bothered by her daughter's words "I would at least fuck her first"

"Mom!"

"What? She's pretty, she has a good body and-"

"Stop it! I don't need to hear my mother talk about how sexy my best friend is"

"Then pick up your sorry butt and go get her" she said, smiling at her daughter's jealous tone "You have the key to her house, use it"

"Mom-"

"I'll keep talking about her body if you don't. Did you know that she has a couple of moles near her right boobie? I loaned her a blouse once and-"

"And I'm leaving" Carla jumped up, taking her keychain

"I'm staying with Jackson, don't come back later" Isis winked

_____________________

You frowned when you heard the front door open. You were sure you had locked it. Your heart raced and you felt fear wash over you as you came out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around your body.

You grabbed a baseball bat that was near your bedroom door (thank goodness you were training with Jackson) and walked slowly down the hall to the living room.

"Y/N?"

You froze before frowning.

"Carla? What are you doing here?"

The woman looked you up and down and you blushed when her eyes stopped for a moment on your chest. She cleared her throat before speaking again.

"I wanted to talk to you but maybe I should wait until you don't have a bat in your hand" she teased lightly

You noticed that you were still holding the wooden stick tightly in your hand. Blushing even more, you leaned it against the wall. When you turned around again, you saw that your friend had approached and she was a few inches from you. You swallowed audibly.

All the way here, Carla had thought and gone over the words she would say to you, she had planned a whole speech for you, and god knows she hated speeches. But she had got her entire cassette erased by seeing you like this.

It was the first time she had admitted to herself that she really found you attractive. A part of her began to wonder if the whole Ty thing hadn't also been in part not to acknowledge her feelings for you.

"Carla?" you mumbled after a while 

"Sorry" she jumped a little "I-"

"No, no. I'm sorry" you said "You didn't have to come here to tell me to stay away. You could have sent a message-"

"Why would I tell you to stay away?" she asked with a frown.

You blinked. An hour and she had already forgotten what you had said? You should be grateful, but it honestly hurt you.

"What I said at your house, I...I shouldn't have done it" you sighed

"So it wasn't true?" she asked carefully "Was everything you said a lie?"

"No!" You almost screamed "I just...it wasn't the way and I- I didn't mean to-"

Carla smiled slightly as she watched you babble in front of her. God, how had she not realized how adorable you were? Your lower lip was even trembling.

But she knew you. She knew that once you got flustered and started babbling, there was no stopping you. And she didn't have the time for that, no matter how beautiful you looked doing it. So she only had one option.

You gasped when your friend pounced on you, pressing you against the wall and kissing you deeply. Her hands immediately went to your hips and you moaned against your will when she pressed her chest against yours.

It took you a few moments to recover, but you wrapped your arms around her neck when you did, returning the affection. You didn't know what would happen when you’d ran out of air and had to talk, but to hell with that. You would enjoy the fact that she was kissing you, as you had wanted for so long.

If there was one thing Carla hated more than people themselves, it was having to talk about her feelings, especially this kind. So when you broke the kiss, her mouth immediately traveled to your neck.

You moaned a little when you felt her tongue on your skin. You wanted to continue, you needed to feel her, let her take you right there, but there was still a hideously rational part of you. So you pushed her gently, making her look at you.

"I love you" you whispered "...but I can't be another one of your one night stands"

The woman's heart broke a little when she looked into your eyes. She saw the fear you were feeling, but she also saw love. Love directed at her. No one had ever looked at her like that, not her ex husband, not Ty, no one.

"You aren’t" she promised

"Carla-"

"I swear you are not" she interrupted you. Suddenly, her brain seemed to wake up and the words she had practiced in the car fell out of her mouth "I'm sorry it took me so long, I'm sorry I was so stupid. I was so afraid of being alone, of not deserving of anyone, that I ended up accepting the first thing I could. But now I know that I love you "

"You're lying" you whispered "You...don't feel that way about me"

"I do" she promised

"And why didn't you say anything before?"

"I was scared. I took you for granted, because you were always there for me, no matter what. I ignored my heart, the butterflies in my stomach, the jealousy when I saw you too close to my mother. I didn't want to admit how I felt about you. And I didn't realize that I already had everything I ever wanted in front of me. I'm sorry. "

You looked into her eyes, searching for any trace of lies or mockery. But you didn't find it. She was telling the truth, she reciprocated your feelings.

You smiled at her and pulled her to you for another deep kiss. This time it was she who moaned against your mouth. The two of you poured all your feelings into that kiss, all the tension that you didn't even know had built up between you two.

Carla pulled away and felt a twinge of pride when she saw your swollen lips and the blush that ran from your cheeks to your neck. God you were beautiful.

"Carla I-"

"Shhh, no" she shut you up "you know I suck at this and that I hate romanticism. I already used up what little self-control I had"

You laughed a bit and she wiped away the tears you didn't even know had started to fall down your cheeks. She kissed you again and her hands lifted the towel a little over your thighs.

"Carla-"

"My mother has unsettlingly clear ideas about your body" she said abruptly "Something about lending you a blouse?"

"Oh...that" you laughed nervously "Yeah.. maybe I tried it on in front of her" you admitted

"Well, thank you very much, now I have to live with the knowledge that my mother has seen more of my girlfriend's body than I have."

"Girlfriend?" you smirked

Carla froze. Her cheeks quickly turned red and her eyes couldn't meet your face.

"I-I, w-well, I mean, m-maybe I should have waited a little longer, I-I just thought that-"

You cut her adorable and nervous babbling with a deep kiss that she happily returned.

"Take me to bed, then we discuss the status of our relationship" you said

"Deal"

_________________________

Isis smirked behind her beer when Carla groaned as you and Jackson yelled at her to run. She had no idea how you had managed to convince her to play with you, but here you were.

She suspected that it had little to do with being a "good mother to her son" and more to do with the shorts you were wearing. Either way, Isis was happy that her daughter found what she had been searching for so long.

You laughed when your girlfriend came back to your side with the ball in her hand. Her face was red from exhaustion and she was already sweating. She grunted a little but you pecked her lips to calm her down.

"I really hate this game" she muttered

"It doesn't matter, your girlfriend and your son love it. You'll get used to it" you joked.

You were about to kiss her again when you saw a figure walking towards you. You frowned and your grip tightened on the bat. Carla looked at you confused before following your gaze. She froze when she saw Ty walking towards you two with a bouquet of roses.

"I guess we got to the part where you forgive him" you whispered.

She looked at you and frowned. She intertwined her fingers with yours and kissed you on the cheek.

"Never again" she promised you.

You smiled at her and the two of you waited for Ty to be in front of you. The man looked at Carla, then at your hands and then back at Carla, completely ignoring you.

"We can talk?" He asked her

"No" she answered firmly

"Listen Carla, I made a mistake-"

"Me too" she cut him off "I made the mistake of being with you. To forgive you several times when I knew you would fail me again. No more. Get out of here"

"But-"

"You listened to the lady, buddy. Get out!" You grunted.

"Uh...and you are?" he asked, finally looking at you.

You felt his eyes run up and down your body, stopping a little on your legs. It made you want to throw up and by the way Carla squeezed your hand, you knew she hadn't liked it either. Not one bit.

"My girlfriend" she told him

"Girlfriend?" he scoffed "I thought you didn't want to see more vagi-"

You pointed the bat at his face before he could finish the sentence.

"Unlike you, I know how to use this" you growled "Get out of here before I use your head as a ball"

"You wouldn't" he smiled at you "Hey, there's no need to fight, you two are beautiful and I'm fabulous. Why don't we just put this in bed and be happy?"

You were about to insult him when Carla took the bat from you and used it to hit him hard in the balls. The man doubled over in pain before falling to the ground. You didn't know whether to laugh or feel bad for him.

"This butt is mine" Carla growled, releasing your hand and grabbing one of your buttocks to draw you closer to her "And nobody else's. If you get close to me or my family again, I'm going to hit a home run with your balls"

You held back your laughter and let her drag you out of there, leaving the poor man lying on the ground.

Carla yelled something about going for ice cream, causing Jackson to run to the car. Isis, unlike you, laughed the whole way. You smiled and took one last look at the roses that were now on the ground.

“That was hot” you whispered to her. Carla smiled and pecked your lips.

Her hand never left your ass until you got in the car.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

KH’s tags: @midnight-lestrange​ @emilyprentissslut @mochiadria

#x reader #reader insert #imagine #carla dunkler x y/n #carla dunkler imagine #carla dunkler x reader #carla dunkler #carla x reader #bad moms #gay for kathryn hahn #kathryn hahn imagine #kathryn hahn x reader #givecarlaagirlfriendchallenge

[deepdarkdelights]

This is such a Top tier piece, I'll say my favourite in Predator uni along with Prey (I luv those 2 freaks🥰)

For someone purported as the heartless one, he is the most dub-con types romantic (from his side) shall i say. He's doing the things that I thought Jungkook would have?! But he has zero apathy towards himself too. It's almost as if he is so far removed from his own emotions that he doesn't really register is wishes and wants anymore. Highly Emotionally Retarded both of them 🙊 Good luck getting a single love you or even a smile in your direction for the next 1000 years.

I can't even imagine what MC's going through. It's like being cursed for a lifetime with your worst nightmare. I literally haven't cried ever reading any fic but this made that happen.

I feel for the mother too though. Now she'll have more regret and guilt for not cherishing the MC when she was there & the whole family of that officer 😭😭 He so didn't deserve this 😭😭 even though it felt like he had a crush on her before she left or maybe even her sister?? Really?

Namjoon will be super pissed two newborns and that also one with a vendetta 😷 Like I don't envision MC ever bearing Hobi especially in first few years when she's still new and powerful. The only reason she won't kill him is maybe you can't kill or disobey your creator. Otherwise, Mr. Hobi is a dead meat.

On the bright side, I can strongly see the whole maknae line following the I'LL CONVERT MY MC MYSELF route.

As for the changing, I kid you not I have always seen this in a dream (Believe me Like a Real Dream, dreamt while sleeping 🤐 months ago when I first read Predator 🤐) But for some reason it was always Jungkook doing it, feeding his MC his blood from the day he decided he'll keep her incase he drains her a bit much or something 🤣😂. So here it goes,

In my dream when the Sun turns golden with flecks of orange and pink Jungkook returns to the mansion with his MC in tow. They have not even entered completely yet when they are stopped by Joon, Jimin and Jin. He is all smiles asking a scared MC to introduce herself to his brothers. Joon get very angry though. He says "I have had enough from you, if you wanna do grown up things then you gonna deal with the grown up responsibilities that come with it. You can't just barge in here whenever you please". MC starts shivering and crying very badly and now it's a whole situation. Jimin's MC half asleep half awake comes down sulking and koala bear hugs a cooing Jimin that she can't sleep. Tae get super jealous and Jin makes a yucky face at them only to be hit by his boho hippie MC. Jungkook takes both of theirs luggage upstairs and starts preparing his room with a still angry Joon. Now, Jungkook gets very angry and he starts shouting "I thought that you'll will be happy for me like real brothers but you're just jealous that your girlfriend doesn't care about you at all so you're taking your frustrations out on other people with happy relationships". Their back and forth continues as they make the bed with a violently shaking MC in the corner of the room. Jungkook picks her up cooing at her that It'll all be okay just give it 3 days, stay strong and he's there with her always. Joon gets livid "What're you even going to do with her?" And Jungkook just gives her a kiss on her lips with a final promise of everything will be okay love as he twists her neck laying her on the bed.

DON'T LAUGH 😹😹😹😹

~ 👁️👁️

Oh yeah, Hoseok is a special case that's for sure. I think his fic had the most death in it in this series 🤔

But yeah, he really has tunnel vision and I don't think he realizes just how difficult his life is going to be with the MC.

I wish I could say I feel for the MC's mom, I do to a degree, but some of the things she does and says really tick me off (probably bc they come from real-world experience lmao)

I like your interpretation of how the Predator MC would be turned! In my head I picture JK being very defensive from the beginning. I can see him keeping her behind his back and firmly holding onto her forearm. It would be a pretty high stress situation when he returns to the house with her. Maybe we will see that in one of the fics 👀

#asks #my anons #👁️👁️ anon #predator universe

[borom1r]

i would love to hear your Arkin + Mallick headcanons because I just watched the collector recently and it blew my head clean off and ofc mallick is one of the original saw meow meows

OOOFDJKSHHJ HELL YEA WELCOME 2 THE COLLECTOR BRAINROT ZONE

honestlyyyy it rlly started w how similar their mannerisms are when comparing Arkin in the Collection but now its just. i think th fact that The Collector was pitched as a SAW prequel is so funny bc the Collector is everything John claims to despise, killing w/ no discrimination purely for his own pleasure. but it does open a rlly nice door to "these are in the same universe"

I think they probably met each other like. Twice during extremely awkward family events + even tho Mal is technically older Arkin is already so much more mature. he is ABSOLUTELY the reason Mal has his first drink (Mal probably catches Arkin sneaking wine lol) and then Arkin honestly probably just. forgets that that side of the family even exists? they're so out of touch w/ his life + his mother was basically estranged, they barely reach out to her so Of Course they don't reach out to her delinquent son— why would he put any mental energy to those rich assholes?

Mal on the other hand.. i think remembers Arkin fondly? (even tho Arkin definitely got blamed for breaking Mallick's arm— really it was an accident, he convinced Mal they should go climb trees bc Mal's such an uppity sheltered little asshole at twelve + Mal's parents freaked and claimed Arkin shoved him even though he was trying to grab Mallick n haul him back up) — like he's too nervous to reach out to him + then obviously gets caught up in everything w/ Jigsaw, but shortly after he gets out of the hospital he starts seeing Arkin's face in the news bc people are finally catching on to this OTHER serial killing freak with a similar MO and hes like. Oh God.

but y'know, by the time Arkin is released + BACK in the news, this time for rescuing Elena, it's two years after Hoffman's death and Jigsaw has all but disappeared save for some.. extremely odd, clinical murders of extraordinarily despicable people which are never quite traps but reuse a lot of Jigsaw's messages.... but Mal's been going to this Jigsaw group for a while and it sucked shit at first, but now they've got a new leader and hey, this Lawrence guy is actually kinda cool, and Mal's starting to feel a little better. so he reaches out to Arkin.

which like, "hey haha its Mallick, your cousin you haven't seen since we were teenagers. anyways isn't it SO fucked up that we both got kidnapped and tortured by completely different serial killers? god I hope you're still alive and that guy didn't get you please call me back" is such a bizarre voicemail for Arkin to receive (he tells Elena and she's like "he seems sweet you should call him!"). he does call Mallick back though, and they agree to meet up.

it's definitely a bit of a shock to see his geeky older cousin looking harrowed and missing an arm— he didn't really keep up with all the Jigsaw shit, so he honestly didn't know Mal had been one of the victims until his phonecall n then couldn't be assed to do any research. but they wind up sitting in a starbucks for hours, catching each other up on their lives and laughing about stories from their childhood. most of the stories are things Mal brings up ("hey remember the one time my parents let me stay at your place and your mom let us walk to the gas station and get Bug Juice? they freaked but that was the most fun I had all summer" + Arkin can't help but laugh because oh god, yea, he does remember, and he was like 9 to Mallick's 11 but Mal was so much more nervous, until they got drinks and bomb pops and sat outside the station and Mal couldn't stop grinning)

eventually Arkin invites Mal along to meet Elena and they get on like a house on fire + Arkin couldn't be happier??? his daughter loves Mal too, and Arkin's gone from nearly losing his wife and daughter to having his wife, his kid, his newfound sister in Elena AND reconnecting with his cousin??? AND he got the catharsis of torturing the absolute fuck out of the Collector with Elena. 10/10. he and Elena absolutely pull Mallick aside one day like "So Jigsaw is REALLY dead, right?" n Mal just kinda. ???????? "...yea?" "okay because if he wasn't we could've hunted him down and killed him for you" and Mal just. what the fuck my little cousin is a vigilante now??

(it's not THAT deep but for Mallick? yea he absolutely would've locked that Jigsaw fuck's ass in a trunk and tortured the shit out of him too)

#ask #THANK U i love them both SO much

[crazy4myself]

No Harm List Pt.4

Word Count: 7.2k

Summary: You live in a city where crime runs rampant. One day, you save a young boy's life, not knowing that he is the most powerful crime lord's heir. And you have just been put on the no harm list.

Trigger warnings: DESCRIPTION OF PANIC ATTACK!! I really took my time with writing this, trying my hardest to convey these feelings without being triggering. I also tried to make it as comforting as possible, but if you are feeling a little anxious maybe save this fic for a better day. Mental health first!  

Additional warnings: mentions of violence, explicit language, mentions of death,

Genre: Romance, angst, violence, gang/mafia AU, 

Rating: 18+  (bc of mentions of violence there’s no sexual content)

<- Pt.3

"Hobi, I don't wanna be mad. I just wanna know the truth,” you pleaded, voice wavering. And that was the truth, you felt like you could care less if he was in a gang. It was Alcorn, you had to be in a gang to survive if you weren't rich.

Upon seeing your eyes water and your lip tremble, Hoseok instantly wished you would scream at him. He didn't want to hurt you. He didn't mean for it to go this far. For you two to get so close after his sister's death, or for him to lie to you for so long. He told himself he kept you out of it for your safety, but really it was just too easy for him to live two lives, for you to look at him like he wasn't a murderer and for him to pretend for a few hours that he wasn't. 

He sighed, sitting on the couch, and you plopped down next to him and waited patiently for him to gather his thoughts. 

"I guess it's best to start at the very beginning, which was when I was around 16," he started. 

"I lived in the same neighborhood as these two guys RM and Suga. They had actually served some time for getting busted with another gang, the Dime Lions, they're long gone now but basically, some shit went down during some kind of gang raid, and RM and Suga ended up taking the fall for it. Instead of the Dime Lions busting them out of jail, they left them there and basically disowned them afterward."

You nodded along to let him know you were following. 

"Anyways RM and Suga, they had a rough start when they got out of the gang, both were bastards, street rats on the Westside they never had anyone to look out for them. So they did the only thing they could do at the time to survive, which was breaking it to cars and shit and cleaning them out. I don't just mean personal belongings of these guys took engine parts, piping, tiers they took it all, and sold it to any scrap shops they could find. At the time, I was working at my uncle's scrapyard. I knew RM and Suga when they were in middle school before they joined the Dime Lions. They stayed with the foster family that lived in my neighborhood. I knew they had been kicked out of the house and were basically living with the Lion's, so when I saw they were working alone, I got curious. For a year or so, I convinced my uncle to continue buying from them even when he started getting a little suspicious about the guys stealing. The guys knew I looked out for them, and we were cool for a while. Then my mom got sick," he paused for a moment looking away from you.

You reached out and placed your hand on his leg knowing how hard it was for him to talk about his mom and Dawon. 

Collecting himself, Hoseok went on, "So I asked for an in with the guys, I needed money and I knew cars. I could remove the parts more effectively than they could. I also knew some clientele who were always coming by and buying parts because they flip cars for fun, those guys were easy targets. So I guess the three of us were a little gang of misfits for a while, I used the money to help pay for mom's treatment. They used the money to survive.

Then we started taking some younger ones under our wing. RM and Suga got their own place and opened their doors to some kids in a rough spot like they were. But as we got bigger, we started getting sloppy. We had been at it for about a year at this point. The guys started taking on some other jobs, but I stuck to what I did best. I wasn't really interested in broadening my horizons. Like I said, we had been at it for a while, and I got cocky, I guess. We had a few scuffles here and there, but we always got out of them okay. Then one night, we got busted scraping a car at some guy's house, and he shot me in the leg, and the cops got me. RM ended up bailing me out of jail, and Suga, Suga got me a gun." 

He shifted in his seat and looked at you nervously, "I wanted out at this point, mom was basically on her deathbed, and I was all Dawon had. I couldn't risk going to jail, ya know. I owed RM money for bail, but my uncle got me a job as an actual mechanic, I thought I could earn money the honest way, pay them back and then Dae and I could just go back to our lives. But then the doctors told us about some experimental treatment that could possibly cure mom. How the hell could I pass that up? I would have done anything to help her get better." his brows furrowed as he tightened his fist into balls.

 "So I stayed. At this point, BTS was growing, it was an official gang, tattoo and all. We had recruited Jin, who came from money, he used some of his trust fund to fund BTS and help us grow, and RM was starting to get a little ambitious. He wanted territory, he wanted me to take the tattoo and be his third." Hobi squeezed his eyes shut as he let out a sigh, he felt like he had to force the words out of him to confess his sins to you. 

"I told you Suga got me a gun after the arrest, and it ended up I'm a really good shot, so good I didn't even have to kill a guy for a long time. I researched where to shoot to keep someone down for a long while without it being fatal, so that's what I did. I worked a few more jobs for RM, we did a big heist. Actually, that was our big break. A team of six other guys and I broke into this old rich dude's mansion, nearly cleaned out his safe when we split the money most of the guys put a percentage into my pot. I walked out that night with almost enough to pay for mom's treatment in full. 

I told RM I wouldn't be his third, and he offered me an out, I just needed to take one more job for him, and he would pay out the rest of mom's bills, so that's what I did. I killed for the first time, and then I was free. I wouldn't have to do any of it again. Well, that's what I intended," he paused, his voice growing softer. 

You tried to keep your face neutral as he revealed the horrors to you. Not that it mattered Hoseok couldn't even bring himself to look at you.

"Mom ended up passing that night." he laughed, a bitter sound that felt foreign to the kind man you knew, "I swear whatever cruel god is out there pulling all the strings did it to punish me. To let me know, they saw what I had become and that I didn't deserve to have people I love in my life. I wasn't good enough to feel love in this world," 

"Hobi, that's not-" he cut you off with a bitter laugh as he looked upwards to hold back his tears. The motion made him seem as though he was searching for the fates he mocked. "Don't y/n, I know what I am,"

"Dae was a senior when mom passed, and it absolutely broke her. I had to fight to get her to go to school for those last few months. Hell, it was a fight to get her out of bed for her graduation. Her exit exams were a disaster, and the councilors at the college were understanding, for the most part. They still admitted her to the school, but not a drop of financial aid was offered to her. She deserved so much more," Hobi's voice was laced with bitter disdain, his eyes looking far off. 

"So I did everything I could to give it to her. I borrowed from Namjoon, enough to cover her entire admission at Alcorn University."

"Hobi, that's so much," you couldn't hold the comment in. It was near impossible for an ordinary person to buy their way into Alcorn if they didn't get scholarships, the tuition at the prestigious school was over $20,000 a semester for admission alone. 

"And I did it, I had Jin make up a fake scholarship for her, send her a cute little letter telling her about the award. She thought that she earned a full ride, and I let her believe it. I even borrowed enough so she would stay in the dorms, I figured it would be safest to keep her out of the house. I didn't know what kind of jobs RM was going to have me do."

"I took the tattoo, and killing became more of a normal thing for me. It started to get easier, I kept my distance and tried my hardest to not even see their eyes. 

There was a big turf war that year. I don't know, the city was on the brink of a recession, a lot of big players in the city were changing the rules of the game. Business owners fought to take down other businesses simply so theirs could stay open, the market was a disaster. I never cared about the politics of any of it, I just did what I was told, and because of that, I'm still not totally sure all I did that year. What lives I took. Who all I hurt. I did everything I could to forget those nights and the blood. I told myself I was doing it for a good reason, ya know. 

I didn't want to know, I thought I would save that for the day I'm standing outside of hell, and they list off every single one of my evil deeds before they sentence their judgment." Hoseok's vacant eyes started to shine with tears.

 "And that was the stupidest fucking thing I could have ever done. I had no clue who had it out for me, I had started feeling invincible. I didn't even consider that someone would want to take their revenge, I had killed Kim Martin Sr.'s son." 

Your blood chilled at the name, and he didn't look at you as he continued.

"He was some big business owner or something, I was supposed to kill him, but there was a mix-up, and I got his son, Kim Martin Jr. instead. Whoever made the call decided that killing his son was just as effective because the grief practically destroyed him. A few misguided stock investments, while he was grieving, crashed his empire. He lost everything and had to move to the Westside in the aftermath. 

Suga kept good tabs on the guy, but then he fell off the grid. We figured he left town or hell maybe he died. We didn't consider him a threat, he showed no interest in coming after BTS, so I didn't even think to keep an eye out for Dawon."

You felt hot tears roll down your face as you realized what happened. The media painted Martin as the bad guy. They accused him of losing his business after his son died due to extreme drug abuse. The city officials wrote him off as such a pathetic low life, that come the time of his death that his murder was barely investigated. It was simply declared a drug deal gone wrong. But he was a father, a father who lost everything to a hitman and wanted to return the favor. 

Hoseok believed he didn't deserve love. Whatever higher power that was calling the shots took everything away from him as punishment. 

You think of your best friend now long passed, her beautiful smile and contagious laugh. The way she could always read you and knew exactly what you needed, whether it be your favorite ice cream on your period or a trip to the botanical gardens in the middle of the night when she knew you were missing home a bit more than normal.

There was a loose glass in the greenhouse that hosted the plants native to your home. You would both scale the fence to the gardens late at night and push that glass panel in and carefully crawl into the greenhouse. The air would be filled with the floral scents you grew up with, and you would just walk the rows of plants and run your fingers over the velvet petals and waxy leaves. 

Until Dawon would play music, a playlist the two of you made of songs in your native tongue. You would dance around the humid greenhouse singing on the top of your lungs while Dawon would laugh and clap along, excitedly shouting with you when she recognized a word or two. 

You thought about the way you and Hoseok both carried a burden of guilt after she passed. Until now, you had felt like you failed her as a best friend and roommate. 

For three years, you had tortured yourself with thoughts like if you hadn't procrastinated so much on your assignments that week, you would have been home when she decided to make a late snack run. You told yourself the robber probably wouldn't have stopped her if you were together. You reasoned that two of you would have deterred her as a target. 

Or maybe he would have just shot you instead. Dawon would have recovered from the loss so much better, she had Hoseok to comfort her and family and friends to support her. You were merely an exchange student in a city with no morals, loved by no one, but taken in out of guilt by her brother. It would've been a better trade. 

You tortured yourself with these thoughts day and night consumed with feelings similar to survivor's guilt.

You never understood Hoseok's guilt, until tonight, you felt like there was nothing he could have done to make that night play out differently. But now you realize he could have anything, and it might have made a difference. 

"Y/n, I understand if you hate me," Hoseok said softly, watching the tears that dripped down your cheek as you processed everything he told you.

"I wanted to honor Dawon's wish. I didn't expect you to do so much for me, for you to become my best friend and for you to make me feel normal. I kept this from you because you were the closest thing to her I had left. There was a time where I thought I would distance myself from you when you moved out. That I would just become another hazy detail to the tragedy, and you would move on completely with your life, but y/n you were so sad, and you needed me too. 

When you moved out, I was terrified of something happening to you. I couldn't stop myself from checking up on you. I couldn't let us grow apart." Hoseok's voice broke off as you looked at him, the pain and betrayal in your eyes.

 "Y/n, you're the closest thing I have to redemption, protecting you, being your friend is the last thread of humanity I have left, I can't lose you," he pleaded. 

"You watched me blame myself," you whispered accusingly, your eyes shining with betrayal. 

"You watched me tear myself apart, and used comforting me to make you feel better about yourself?" 

He flinched at your words, "I tried everything I could to convince you there was nothing you could have done," Hobi argued feebly. 

"Everything but tell the truth," you hissed as hot tears rolled down your cheek. 

You got up as a sob escaped you, your face red and snot running from your nose. Hoseok stood with you, but you flinched away with a broken no.

 "I need time, Hoseok," you begged. 

You swallowed thickly as you did everything in your power to keep it together, "I don't want to hate you, but please, I need time to think about everything," you assured. Even knowing what he did, he was right. You needed him too. If you lost him, you truly didn't have anyone in the city who cared if you lived or died tomorrow. And maybe settling for that made you your own kind of monster. 

It was funny how he claimed such a tarnished person could be his redemption. 

You secure your bag to your shoulder, stepping out into the night air and pulling the door closed behind you. You couldn't even bring yourself to lock the door behind you, afraid that if you stopped moving for one second that you would completely break down and be unable to make it home. You only hoped Hoseok was smart enough to check the door behind you and make sure to lock it. 

You counted the stairs as you made your descent and into the parking lot, making an effort to take in your surroundings. You tried to list off the colors of the cars as you passed them, and while some distant part of you did the action, you still felt like the effort wasn't reaching whatever corner of your brain you were hiding in. 

You got a lot better with controlling your anxiety attacks as you made it further in college, even going as far as taking advantage of the university's free therapy sessions to get professional guidance in your junior year. You defaulted to your go-to grounding technique as your feet moved of their own accord to carry you home. 5,4,3,2,1 was an exercise that made you aware of your surroundings and tether yourself to this world when your mind felt a dimension away. 

The technique walked you through your five senses, making you list off 5 things you could see, 4 things you could feel, 3 things you could hear, two things you could smell, and one thing you could taste. Even in your most anxious moments, you were a slut for making a good list. You always found this exercise more soothing than any breathing technique. 

Your eyes searched without really seeing as you tried to find five things you could see around you. Straining yourself to really take in your surroundings, you settled for a yellow fire hydrant, a car parked on the side of the road, a penny on the ground, a drainage inlet tucked into the curb, and finally your own yellow shoes pacing down the concrete sidewalk. 

You were going to be okay, you reminded yourself as you took an intentional breath. 

Next, four things you can touch, you focused on your breathing as you reached an arm out to graze your fingertips along with the rough brick of the building you walked by.

You shifted a little more with each step, concentrating on how the fabric of your clothes moved across your skin and curling your toes into the padding of your shoes. You didn't count each feeling, your wandering mind struggling to really take in each sensation, but you were sure you touched four things by now.

This was a mistake you often caught yourself making when counting down like this. Sometimes you were in such a rush to reach the end and get to one as if identifying one taste would magically make all your anxieties go away that you forget to take it slow and really center yourself. 

Three things you can hear, it was at the time, as you strained to let the world in through the all-consuming pounding of your heart in your ears, that you realized you were whimpering to yourself slightly. The awareness of your own vulnerability made you stumble as your mind spiraled, and you struggled to find something to tether you back to the earth. 

You began walking faster before realizing you're not certain you were going the right way. So you came to a halt, realizing you couldn't bring yourself to focus enough to take in your surroundings. You stared at the street sign for a long time, repeating the letters to yourself as you made them form a word finally settling on Gardenia. 

Your breathing hitched as you realized you had wandered off the main streets and into a neighborhood in your daze. You were lost, but you couldn't bring yourself to care about it, and the lack of fear flashed an alarm in your mind that let you know you were too far gone to count away your anxieties.

You struggled to breathe as you tried to come up with a decision. You needed to ground yourself to calm down. You needed to list off 5 things you could see, fourth things you could feel, three things you could hear, two things you could smell, and one thing you could taste. You knew the only way to bring yourself back to the world was to become aware of your settings. 

But it felt as if the part of your brain that knew all these things didn't even touch whatever part of your mind was controlling you now. You were better off giving directions to the light pole you stood under. 

You felt your breathing get harder as you desperately gasped in all the air you could. Your arms and legs began to tingle as your body over oxidized, and your head began to spin. 

Slowly you slumped to the ground, wrapping your arms around the light pole you had stopped under as you spiraled. 

What were you even doing before this moment? How did you even get here? You forced your eyes open wide, hoping the action would make you actually see and register what you were looking at to no avail. 

What were you doing, what were you doing, what were you doing?

You struggled to reign in your thoughts of your laughing best friend and her crying brother. Or was it your crying best friend and his dead sister? 

You were supposed to find three things you could hear. Your crying doesn't count. A more logical voice seemed to get through to you. 

You strained your ears to hear past your own breathing, you could hear a frog croaking in the grass nearby, you felt the earth beneath you to confirm you had in fact settled in a patch of grass. You smiled to yourself proud of your progress as you continued to listen as you continued to listen. You heard the electricity buzzing in the light pole you had wrapped your arms around, you felt almost childlike as you opened your eyes. Actually, seeing this time as you looked up at the pole, you were around. 

You needed one more sound, you strained your ears, expecting to be met with something like a far off car driving by. Instead, you heard your name being called. You blinked as you turned away from the street lamp and towards the repeating sound of a familiar set of syllables coming from a familiar voice. 

Jungkook jogged up to as he saw you curled around a lamppost. Even from a distance, he could see the rapid way your chest was rising and falling in that familiar chaotic rhythm he only saw when he found Taehyung or Yoongi having a panic attack. You looked up at him with a tear-stained face and saw the confusion of his presence take you off guard and snap whatever control you had over yourself. 

Your face crumpled as a sob broke from your chest, and you turned away from him and curled yourself around the light pole a little tighter. 

Jungkook felt such a rush of guilt and panic at the sight of you so broken that he ignored the dull ache in his knees as he instinctively fell down in the grass next to you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you from the cold metal pole, trying to position comfortably in his chest. 

Jungkook shifted as he uncurled his legs from beneath his body and stretched them out next to yours in front of him, trying to touch as much of his body to you in comfort. You didn't resist, but the jolting motions did seem to make you more upset for a short moment. Jungkook realized he forgot to ask for permission to touch you before he acted. 

He knew Tae preferred physical comfort to calm down, but sometimes it could act more as a trigger when unwelcomed. He loosened his grip hesitantly, and you wrapped your arms around his middle, hugging him closer to you in response. 

Physical contact is. He thought to himself as he began stroking one hand up and down your back and rocking you both side to side slightly as if he was trying to calm a baby from a tantrum. 

Which he basically was doing, you thought bitterly to yourself as you accepted the comfort.

You were too far gone to calm yourself down. You had ridden the river of upsetting thoughts that triggered your attack all the way down, and now you risked floating out to sea and losing yourself forever. Not actually forever, just until you would cry yourself unconscious and wake up to start anew. But you supposed accepting comfort was better than sleeping outside in a neighborhood you didn't know. 

Jungkook whispered to you, not the sweet nothings people typically say when they see people break down like 'it's going to be okay,' or most annoyingly 'breath.' No Jungkook simply told you, 'you're safe,' 'take your time,' 'you're stronger than you give yourself credit for' and in your case most importantly, 'exhale.' 

When people see you having a panic attack and hear the loud gasp you make as you fight to breathe, they instinctively tell you to breathe as a way to calm down. But it's your failure to let the air out that keeps your body over oxidized, making it harder for you to feel in control of yourself. 

Slowly, you regained control of your body, and your desperate gasps for air morphed into shallow panting. Your shallow breathing morphed into soft whimpers and sniffled. Jungkook held you as your continuous knit itself together, and you faced the pain your mind was so desperate to escape.

He rubbed you back as you let out soft sobs as you reopened wounds that had healed into jagged scars. You cried for Dawon and her undeserved death. For Hoseok and the guilt you knew, he carried every day. You cried for Kim Martin, who died at the hands of the killer that stole his son. You cried for yourself, over the fear of the future as you saw it grow intimately tangled with a notorious gang.

You don't know how long Jungkook waited as you reeled yourself back together. He waited long after you finished crying, knowing just because you had control of yourself physically didn't mean you were mentally ready to face the world, so he wrapped you in his warmth and hummed to himself as he rocked you both slowly. 

You loosened and tightened your grip on his shirt and curled and uncurled your toes as you tried to become more aware of your body. You were basically sprawled out on the grass with your upper body twisted and pulled into Jungkook's middle. It wasn't the most comfortable position, but you weren't willing to risk losing his warmth to move. 

You licked your lips, and the jarring taste of your salty tears pulled you from your self pitying thoughts, deciding to work your way up the list you once again started to count. 

One thing you taste, salt. 

Two things you smell: you inhaled deeply and took in the smell of laundry detergent that clung to Jungkkook's shirt. "Detergent," you mumbled into his shirt, and the sound of a coherent word leaving you made Jungkook's humming stop as he looked down at you, nuzzling your face deeper into his chest. He held in his chuckle as you stiffed the air again, and confidently said, "and grass."

You finally pulled yourself away from him only slightly to turn your face away from him, your cheek still pressed against his chest.

"I can hear frogs, cars nearby, and.. your heart," you listed as you looked up at him from under you thick lashes still clumped with tears, "it's louder than mine," you observed as you listened to the hammering in his chest. 

He was from a different kind of nerves. 

He recognized the countdown and realized you were working to ground yourself, "What can you feel?" he prompted eager to get you to move on from his pounding heart. 

"Your t-shirt, it's soft, the grass poking at me through my jeans, my bra digging into me" you wrinkled your nose as you became aware of the discomfort. 

"And?" Jungkook prompted. A smile curled your lips as you looked up at him mischievously, "You're abs," you giggled as you sat up, finally pulling away from him. Jungkook felt the heat crawl up his neck as he turned away, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully. 

"And what do you see?" he asked gently, looking everywhere but you. 

You smiled at his bashfulness as you look around, "I see the street sign, the green grass," you pause as you squint, "I think that's either a rock or some dog poop over there," Jungkook let out a startled laugh. You smiled to yourself proudly as you continued. 

"Our shadows from the street light, and,” you pause realizing how close the two of you are, "the little mole underneath your lip."

"Good," he whispered, and you watched in fascination how his lips formed the words, "Are you ready to get up now, or do you need a few minutes?" he asked. It was the way his mouth twisted into a smile at the end of the sentence that made you realize you were still staring at his lips. You blinked before looking up at his eyes, which was alight with a teasing glint. 

"I can stand," you answered, flustered as you pulled your body away from him. Maneuvering your feet beneath you to get up. Jungkook offered you a hand once he was up helping pull you to your feet, before bending down and grabbing your purse for you. Your feet still tingled in that pins and needles feeling. You wiggled your hands to wake up your fingers as well, but other than that, you felt like you recovered from the physical toll of the panic attack quite well.

"C'mon my place is at the end of this road, let me grab a car and drive you home," he offered. 

You walked with him obediently, your hands brushing past each other twice before Jungkook's hand finally snatched yours mid-swing; you looked down and watched as your fingers intertwined with his effortlessly. You looked to him to see a change in his expression, but he looked straight ahead as he walked, acting as if nothing happened. 

You smiled at yourself, thankful for the affection. You always did get a little clingy after panic attacks, relying heavily on skinship and the feeling of someone taking care of you as a way to feel calm. You were surprised how easy it was for you to let Jungkook fall into that roll despite barely knowing him. But you suppose in the handful of interactions the two of you shared, he's always prioritized your comfort and safety. 

"This is your house?" you asked as you took in the massive white art deco house behind the gate you stopped in front of. The gate buzzed and rolled open for the two of you of its own accord and rolled open for the two of you. 

Jungkook smiled sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah, kinda," he said with a shrug. 

You raised a brow, "kinda?"

"It's complicated, c'mon let's get you home," he said with a tug reminding you that the two of you were still holding hands. You flushed but followed obediently as you made your way to the garage. 

You squinted as your eyes were met with a flood of fluorescent light upon opening the door. A row of vehicles lined its way down the length of the garage, varying from sports car, to jeep, to a large black truck at the end of the row. A line of 4 motorcycles along the furthest wall. 

"J-Hope sells Namjoon a car any chance he gets," Jungkook chuckled as he took in your awed expression. 

"J-Hope?" you questions, and Jungkook's smile faltered.

"That's what we call Hoseok," he clarified. 

You nodded in understanding, "Like how Taehyung goes by V?" you asked, and he nodded. 

"Hoseok, does he sell drugs like V does?" you asked curious of what all Hoseok's gang involvement entailed.

Jungkook opened his mouth to answer but was cut off as the adjacent door slammed up from what looked to be inside the house, revealing a man in a black t-shirt with a mop of platinum blond hair. 

"There you are," he practically growled as he stormed in the room.

The man was dwarfed by Jungkook a good bit, but somehow Jungkook seemed to cower and appear smaller as the man approached, dropping your hand as if he were caught doing something he shouldn't. 

You looked at him curiously and wondered if he was. 

"Yoongi hyung," he greeted as he tried to force a smile, "I was just about to-" 

"Save it," he snapped, "I have half the army out looking for you, ya know," he turned his fury to you much to your surprise as he added "both of you." 

Your mouth fell open, shocked by the confusion apparent on your face as he continued, "Do I need to babysit both of you, because believe it or not, she's taking up a lot of my time. I really can't handle you getting flakey on me Jungkook, we need to know that you're safe," 

Jungkook looked down as he lectured, murmuring a small apology. 

"And you" Yoongi turned to you, "That goes for you too, the Black Tips are still on your tail, I can't do much for you if you go running off,"

"Hyung," Jungkook hissed. "Not now, please." 

Yoongi blinked at his younger in surprise, turning to you and making a point to really look at you, and take you in. Your red-rimmed eyes and splotchy face, the way you seemed to lean into Jungkook. He recognized that far off look in your eyes like you had to concentrate on being present in the moment, and Yoongi remembered the warning in Hoseok's earlier message when he told him you had run out.

"Yeah, okay, get her home and come straight back when you're done, we still need to talk," he said dismissively. None of your questions were answered, but you didn't resist as Jungkook put a hand on your back and guided you towards a nearby car. 

"Good night, princess," Yoongi called over his shoulder before closing the door behind him. Unlike with Jimin, you felt like you were being mocked when Yoongi called you that.

"Who was that, your brother, and why did he say he needs to babysit me?" you questioned as you both settled into the fine black vehicle the windows were so deeply tinted on the outside you wondered if it was safe to drive at night, but upon getting in the car, you noted that you could see through the windows clearly. 

Jungkook waited until after he put the key in the ignition and backed out into the driveway before he started talking."That's Yoongi hyung or Suga, he's head of surveillance for BTS. He was the one who sent out a message to go escort you home when J– Hobi Hyung told him you were upset and left his apartment so late. I was on my way in that direction when I ran across you on our street," he said, breaking at a stop sign and turning on the blinker.

You looked out the window as you took in everything he's told you, noting that you were stopped again by the light pole you had a panic attack under. Suga was one of the original members in Hoseok's story. You thought to yourself as you connected the dots. Your head still felt a little foggy as you recovered from the literal mental breakdown. The sudden change of lighting earlier had started to make your head throb. You were ready for bed.

"Hobi sent people to look for me?" was all you could manage, not entirely understanding the emotions stirring in your chest. 

"Well yeah, I mean, I was supposed to escort you home after work, and you kind changed plans, so we had to roll with them. I figured Hoseok would have taken you home after everything, so I didn't wait around. And then when Suga did send out the message I didn't notify them that I found you it was dumb on my part," he clarified. 

You leaned onto the console between the two of you, propping your cheek upon your hand in a way that squished your lips into a slight pout. Jungkook tried not to stiffen as you got more in his space. Peeking down at you through his peripherals he saw your brow furrow as you processed everything. 

"Why do you care?" you finally settled on asking as you still struggled to pinpoint why so many people would be worried about your safety.

Hoseok, you understood, to a certain extent, you even understood why he called in the favor. He knew your patterns and signs, you were probably shouting you were about to have an attack with your body language as you walked out the door. He knew he could never comfort you, not when he was the trigger. What you didn't understand was why BTS would listen.

"Because you're still not safe, and BTS took responsibility for your safety when I did," Jungkook said, simply turning to look at you as he stopped at a red light. 

If you were in the right state of mind, such a comment would have triggered an immediate fight. You had been on your own for far too many years to suddenly need a whole gaggle of men to tend to you as if you were some helpless girl. You were a grown-ass woman. But you weren't yourself as you searched for a response in the fog of your mind. 

"You're not responsible for anything about me?" you said softly as you shifted to rest your hand on your chin. 

"Y/n what all did Hoseok hyung tell you?" Jungkook asked, confused, you weren't rejecting his protection, you just seemed oblivious. He assumed the cat was out of the back as soon as you learned what BTS was, who they were concerning you. 

"Just how he joined BTS as how he ya know," you stuck your pointer finger and thumb in the air making soft 'pew pew' sounds. You couldn't bring yourself to talk seriously about the subject. Too much of this night had been severe for your liking. 

"Y/n, you saved my life last week," Jungkook said, trying to look in your eyes and convey all his gratitude. You shifted under his stare.

"I wouldn't call it that," you murmured, turning away, "The lights green," you added flatly trying to turn his attention from you. He ignored you and placed a warm hand over yours. 

"I would, and because of that, I and all of BTS owe you a life debt. We want to protect you as best as we can, especially since you're not totally safe from the guys you saved me from," he emphasized. 

You looked up at him owlishly as you thought over everything he said. But whatever you were going to say died on your lips as a car honked its horn behind you. You both jumped startled, and the intensity of the moment evaporated slightly. 

After a few moments of silence, you decided he didn't require a response. You can't imagine you would give a correct one anyways. You looked down at your hand, his larger one still resting atop your own and turned your wrist quickly and intertwining your fingers.

You rode in silence the rest of the way home, and you were fighting your eyelids as you pulled up to your complex. 

Jungkook wondered if you always fell asleep in the car even with dangerous men. He wondered if that's why he never sees you take the bus at night.

"You really should consider living somewhere safer," Jungkook muttered under his breath as he shut off the engine.

You bit your tongue holding in several comments and gave a noncommittal 'mmm' as you unbuckled and stepped out the car to see he planned to walk you to your door again. 

You grew embarrassed as you climbed the stairs and scrambled to think of parting words dwelling on everything Jungkook had done for you that night, "Thank you," you finally forced yourself to say. Jungkook looked down at you as you came to a halt in front of your door. "For earlier, with the crying and the counting," you offered awkwardly your eyes looking everywhere but his as you breached the sensitive topic. 

"Oh, it wasn't a problem, really. I'm glad I could help" he laughed nervously, and you smiled, reaching for his hand before he could bring it to the back of his head, a nervous habit you were quickly picking up on him having. 

"I'm serious Jungkook, a lot of people freak out and make the situation much worse for me, and I get it seeing someone crying like that it's never an easy thing to react to, but you did—" you hesitated as you searched for the right words, "You were good, comforting." 

You didn't give yourself time to question it as you stood on your tiptoes, deciding to convey your gratitude in a way that your stuttering mouth wouldn't botch, and grazed a small peck aiming for his cheek. Unfortunately, the height difference and your own lack of balance had you landing more on his jawline. Jungkook gasped only slightly at the feeling of your soft lips on his jaw, the heat of your body radiating off of you in your nearness. You smiled at him again as you turned towards the door to unlock it. 

"Haha yeah, happy to hear that," he responded, his voice crawling in pitch as he ordered his heart to beat, and you gave him another warm smile as you pushed open your door. 

"Good night, Jungkook."

"Good night, Ella." 

Jungkook's face split into a grin as you closed the door, a hand reaching for his jaw and pressing against where you kissed him as if it would simulate the feeling. His steps seemed to bounce as he made his way down the concrete stairs and back to his car.

A/N: Thanks so much for reading please tell me what you think! Your comments make me eager to write more :)

Pt.5 ->

#bts fic #jungkook x reader #bts mafia au #btsghostie #bangtanhq #btsbookclub #btsguild #bangtanscenery #bts gang au #gangster jungkook #gangster yoongi #gangaster taehyung #gangster hoseok #jungkook au #bestfriend hoseok #no harm list #crazy4myself fic #drug dealer teahyung #jungkook fluff

[maysbanks]

she moves in her own way. (jj maybank)

due to the ASTOUNDING response to my first jj fic which i have to say a huuuge thank you to everyone that liked, commented & reblogged, it honestly means the absolute world !! i couldn't wait much longer to start writing for my boy again, i have so many fic ideas and cannot wait to get them out to y'all. this one is shorter than the last, & the title is inspired from the song 'she moves in her own way' by the kooks (lol) but isn't necessarily based off of it, it's just something that i wrote up quickly bc i was in my feels™️ . also i feel very unoriginal with the whole plot and aspect of this but im gonna post it anyway bc i love jj lmao. anyway hope u enjoy !

warnings: swearing, underage drinking, drug use, violence, jj with a gun™️

summary: reader walks the fine line between either pogue or kook, though technically a kook, she ignores all social standings of the obx and jj maybank cannot stop himself from getting caught up in her whirlwind.

( gif isn’t mine! please let me know if it’s yours so i can credit you. )

Everyone seemed to have a different perspective of you, unsurprisingly. You weren't really much of a social butterfly, you kept yourself to yourself, really. Nobody in the Outer Banks knew much about you at all, other than what they had come up with in their heads. And while you tried your best to stay in the shadows, that only seemed to make you stand out more.

You were known for being the best of both worlds - not really a Pogue, but not really a Kook either. While your social status and family wealth suggested you to be a Kook, your free spirit and reckless behaviour fitted you better towards the Pogue style. If anyone were to ask you, you told them you were neither.

Why should a name define you anyway? You thought it was all bullshit, the stupid territorial arguments and the snide comments from both sides. You thought it was ridiculous, you weren't living in The Outsiders, for fuck sake.

You moved in your own way, simple as that. You wouldn't let anyone tell you what to do, where you can't or shouldn't be, it was a free country you'd say, middle finger salute ready to aim towards anyone who dared cross you. You were an enigma, wild and careless, unforgiving and unforgettable. You didn't necessarily like the attention, but you got it. And you knew it, and you played on it, too.

You had used your irresistible charm more than enough times to bail JJ Maybank out of trouble, despite your parents' protest. They didn't have a problem with the Pogues, persay, how could they when your dad been one half of his life before meeting your mom and marrying into the rich lifestyle; they just had a problem with JJ, as many of the parents on the island did. He was an unstoppable force to be reckoned with, weed smoking, knuckles constantly torn, skin bruised, quick wit, sarcastic humour, daddy issues, you know the type. Kids loved him, parents hated him.

You were friends with JJ, you supposed. You spent your time with him talking about your days and smoking a joint, meaningful conversations turning into joking and general tomfoolery within seconds. With JJ, you were simply unapologetically you, and JJ never judged you. He never made you choose a side, seemingly content with the fact that you were a little bit of everything, though there was times when he teased you relentlessly about the Kook life, but that was just JJ.

And despite the social differences, him being a Pogue through and through, you technically a Kook, you were drawn to each other pretty easily. Not that you hung out all the time, but you loved every second when you did, usually joined by his group of best friends - John B, Pope, and Kiara. With Kiara a Kook herself but drawn more to the lifestyle of the Pogue's, she understood you more than anyone. You'd bonded a lot, and with each of them too.

JJ loved that you fitted in with them, like a missing puzzle piece. So perfectly, it shook him to its core. The pair of you were close, but he had no idea where he stood with you, like most people never when it came to you. You were like a rollercoaster, taking people for the most exciting ride of their lives that lasted a full three or so minutes before they returned back to solid ground. You'd given JJ a ride a number of times on your non-existent metaphorical rollercoaster, and he'd returned for another ride time and time again. You couldn't say no to that damned boy.

It was a blessing and a curse, the unspoken relationship you shared. A blessing because JJ was the best thing that happened to you, and a curse because that was your downfall. You never got attached to people, never given yourself the chance. But then JJ Maybank had come along, blonde hair and blue eyes, split lip and sharpened teeth, words cunning. You saw him as a challenge at first, the name Kook Princess haunting you as he spoke them, stood in front of you at the keg upon your first real meeting. He'd held a drink out towards you, smirk perfect on his pink lips.

You'd attended over a hundred kegger's in your lifetime, the Pogue parties more inviting than those of the Kook's. You danced and talked to anyone that came across your path, whether it be unknowing Tourons, unjudging Pogues, or unforgiving Kooks, you drew them all in. You didn't fit in with any of them, JJ had realised. You really did move in your own way, he thought. He liked that, he'd decided. And hey, you were pretty cute too.

On that particular night, he'd spoken to you directly for the first time in a long time. "Would the Kook Princess like a drink?" He'd asked, holding the red cup out towards you. You'd eyed the offended object, and subsequently him, too. He smirked at the attention. You had rolled your eyes.

"Don't call me that," you'd said simply, but taking the cup from his hands regardless. You took a sip, relieved to discover that he hadn't tampered with it in any way. You were still considered a Kook to most people, after all. You could never be too careful. "Thanks, Maybank."

And he'd blinked at you, lips suddenly raising to a sly smile as he shrugged, dimples winking at you as they appeared in his cheeks. "Anytime," and he'd spoken your name back to you and you couldn't get enough of the way it sounded coming from his mouth, and you realised hey, this guy is pretty cute, and the rest, as they, is history.

You were in the midst of another infamous Pogue kegger at the current, months after your first introduction to JJ Maybank and his friends, and you stood off to the side, listening to JJ intently as he ranted about the events of the day he'd endured. Starting from finding a Grady White sunken in the marsh, "A fucking Grady Marsh, they're like 500 G's man!", to discovering that the boat belonged to Scooter Grubbs, who had coincidentally been found dead that same day, to getting chased by two guys with a gun, to the finding of the motel key from the wreck and breaking in that same motel room, finding a safe full of money and a gun of all things, to their best attempt at laying low which, unsurprisingly, resulted in the kegger in the first place.

JJ was wild in his recite of the events, hands gesturing every which way as you watched him with your lips curled into your mouth, resisting a smile at his antics. When he finished he retelling, you raised an eyebrow and chuckled dryly. "So, complete and utter boring day for you, huh?"

JJ chuckled along with you, shaking his head as if he was still in disbelief from everything that had happened in the past twenty four hours. "Man, it was crazy," he muttered. He looked at you then, eyes sincere. "I wish you were there with us. It was like something straight from a movie, I'm telling you. I feel like such a badass with that gun."

Your secret joy at his confession of that he wished you were was short lived, as the last of his words sunk in and you felt dread build in the pit of your stomach. You stared at him, him so excited that he hadn't even realised your face had dropped, before you reached out and grabbed his arm, effectively halting his movements and stopping the hurried flow of words that were leaving his mouth.

"JJ," you said carefully, eyes trained on his as he stared, clueless. "Please tell me you did not take that gun from the safe."

Your heart dropped as you saw him falter, his lips helplessly moving but no words coming out. He held a hand up, as if to hush you, though you hadn't started to speak again, and then his hand had dropped just as quick as it was raised, his teeth biting down on his chapped lip as the realisation dawned on you.

"JJ Fucking Maybank," you spat, hands slapping gently at his arms, because you could never really hurt him, you just wanted him to know you were pissed. "Do you realise how fucking careless that is? How much trouble you could get into, if anyone knew you had a gun-" your voice trailed off, your eyes closing as you exhaled. "JJ, please tell me you don't have it on you right now."

His lack of reply was the only answer you needed, and your stomach churned as you stepped back from his figure, suddenly feeling sick. He followed you, though, not letting you get too far as he took your arms in his hands and tried to drag you closer to him once more. You shook your head, arms slipping from his hold as you glared at him fiercely.

"That's so fucking stupid, JJ. You could get into serious trouble with this, trouble I won't be able to get you out of." You warned, because you knew it was true. Your charm and looks could get him out of some trouble to its extent, but it was more so your parents wealth and status that got the both of you out of shit when you managed to get into it, and you also knew your parents would literally throw a fit if you got involved in something like this - carrying a gun was no joking matter. You stepped back once more, hand finding its way to your forehead. "And from a crime scene, no less. Fucking hell."

JJ licked his lips, standing back roughly as you watched, his jaw clenching. "Well I'm not asking for your help here, Princess," he taunted, the nickname sending a wave of annoyance through you. JJ knew it would. "It's not like I ask you to help me, you're just there. Thinking I need help, like I'm some fucking charity case, a fucking doll you picked up from the thrift store that was gonna be thrown out the next day."

You tried to protest, but JJ didn't give you the chance. "I don't need your help all the fucking time. I don't need your pity. I get that you won't understand because why would you? You're a Kook, you get everything you want handed to you on a silver platter. And you can argue and fight me about it all you want, but I know you know it's true."

He sighed heavily, hands running down his face in a sign of defeat. You watched him all the while, thankful that you had ventured off the outskirts of the party so that hopefully nobody had heard JJ shouting at you, your heart wrenching as his blue eyes settled on you. "I'm sorry, JJ," you said finally. You refused to cry, though the desire to at the sight of him being so mad at you tore you apart. "I'm just trying to look out for you. With the gun thing, with everything that I help you with. And I know I'm a Kook, and I know that my parents could afford to buy half of this fucking island if they pleased, but that doesn't define me. I care, okay? And I know I care a lot more than a lot of people in your life."

It was probably a low blow, and you knew it. But JJ took it in, let the words sink into his brain where they stayed there, his fists clenching at his sides. You crossed your arms over your chest, defeated.

"I'm gonna go back to the party," you whispered. "I'll see you around, I guess." You eyed his pockets, unsure of where exactly he held the gun. "Be careful, okay."

And even when you were angry with him, you still tried to make sure he was okay, that he stayed safe. There was multiple occasions you'd showed up unannounced, simply asking how his day was, if he okay, if he had eaten that day, stayed hydrated. At first the attention startled him, he'd never really had anyone look out for him in that aspect, and yet there you were, like an angel sent from the gods themselves, smiling down at him.

You cared, he realised. You cared so much that sometimes he couldn't take it, because he didn't know how. The most family he'd ever gotten close to having in his life was the Pogues, after losing his mother and subsequently losing his father too as he turned into the monster that he was, cold and distant, fists always poised ready for an imaginary fight, and he knew that someday the Pogues would even slip through his fingers. He couldn't let that happen with you. He wouldn't.

He'd started off in your direction, truly, he had. But then John B was grabbing him and averting his attention to him, and he focused on his friend, promising only a minute of his time. You were in his sights, stood a bit away, and he recognised the couple you were talking to as Sarah Cameron and Topper Thorton, Kooks through and through. He held his distaste back, and even held a drink out to offer to Sarah as she and Topper made their way past where he and John B were standing. Big fucking mistake, he realised quickly.

It had all happened in a blur of events, each little bit leading to big finale - as he watched his best friend being held down in the water, powerless to Topper who kneeled over him, hands forcing John B to stay put in the sea. Sarah was screaming at Topper, Pope was holding JJ back with all his might, Kie beside them as she screamed along with Sarah to let John B go. And there you were, suddenly beside JJ, gripping his arm tightly as you took in the sight with a horrified glare. JJ didn't even hesitate; the gun had been pulled from his shorts and was directed at Topper's head in the blink of an eye.

The fury in his veins was red hot and ugly, tearing through every part of him like a vice. This was the Pogues land, their side of the island, and yet the Kooks still thought they could get away with anything and everything - including, apparently, attempting to drown his best friend.

"Your move, broski," JJ uttered through clenched teeth. He could hear the screams of the crowd behind him, and he pulled the gun away from Topper's head and into the direction of the sky, firing two shots towards it as the crowd of people quickly dispersed, screeches sounding from all over. "Now everybody needs to get the fuck off our side of the island!"

He was shoved to the side as Sarah rushed to her boyfriend, telling him he was fucking crazy or something like that, he wasn't really listening. The shots rang in his ears, and the adrenaline of the moment soured through him. Kie and Pope were screaming at him, he could hear their voices distantly. His blue eyes were unfocused for a second, before they looked up, and there you were.

Sent from the gods themselves, once again. You looked vibrant, so insanely alive, lips red and cheeks flushed, eyes bright. You let out a shaky breath as you watched him. JJ clenched his jaw.

"He was going to drown John B," he thought he'd said, but he wasn't sure. He didn't really know what to keep track of at that moment, Kie and Pope's obvious disapproval at him literally doing the one thing they swore not to do, Sarah and Topper stumbling away from the scene in the distance, John B getting up and muttering something along the lines of he wasn't going to drown me, or you, simply staring at him.

Before he knew what he was doing, JJ had made his way towards you. The gun was still held in his hands, and you swallowed thickly as you eyed it. "You should put that away," you muttered. JJ seemed confused, before he caught on to what you meant and he shoved the gun back to the spot of in between his shorts and his hip. "You literally did the one thing I said not to, you tool."

JJ cracked a smile, small and uncertain as he gazed at you. You stepped closer to him, eyes glancing over his shoulder. "You really pissed them off," you said, meaning his friends.

JJ shrugged, because he didn't care about their opinion, he cared about yours. And if you hated him now, hated the fact that he was just some dirty Pogue who held guns against people's heads now, apparently. "I don't care about what they think," he spoke softly. You looked at him confused. "I care about what you think."

You smiled softly, shrugging one shoulder. "Topper was going to drown John B," you replied, matter of fact. "If you hadn't stepped in when you did, who knew what could have happened. Nothing could have stopped him." You bit your lip, hand reaching out and touching his face gently, thumb soothing over the worried line between his brows. "You did the right thing, J. A fucking crazy and stupid thing, potientally dangerous, but the right thing nonetheless."

"Yeah, that's kind of my go-to, if you haven't already noticed," JJ smiled, tongue running over his bottom lip. You rolled your eyes, though playful. "Look, I'm sorry about before, okay. I was a dick. I know you care, but sometimes that's what scares me."

Your eyebrows furrowed, a confused expression on your face as your hand dropped from his face to intertwine with his own hand, his gaze suddenly becoming fixed on your linked hands, his other absentmindedly playing with your fingers that held his hand.

"It's like, you're this untouchable thing. I mean, you don't belong to anyone, you refuse to go by anything other than your name, and you're like this perfect mix between Pogue and Kook even if you do hate it and everyone knows who are you and they make these stories up about you, like that's how popular you are," JJ chuckled. "And then you hang out with me, you look past all the dirty Pogue shit, see me for who I am, and you care. And you care so god dammed much that it fucking terrifies me because nobody's ever cared that much before about me, so why should you?"

His hand left yours to remove the hat from sitting atop his hair and then run his hand through the blonde locks. You could see his tongue running along the outsides of his bottom teeth, the action causing a bump beneath his skin. He looked nervous than you had ever seen him before, and you'd both gotten into enough nerve-wracking situations together to compare. You sighed as your hands reached for his face, gripping his cheeks and forcing his eyes to gaze down at yours.

"JJ Maybank," you started, grinning softly. "You listen to me while I tell you that you deserve the fucking world and more. All this shit that you're going through, all the crap you deal with on a daily basis, you carry it so well that nobody would even know. You fight through each day and I don't even know how you manage it half the time. I admire you so much, J. And I can't help but care about you, even if you don't want me to. I care about you so much, that you wanna know a secret? It scares me too."

JJ gazed down at you lovingly, his forehead moving to rest against yours. You welcomed the embrace, his arms wrapping around your waist and squeezing you gently, as if reassuring himself that you were actually there.

"JJ," you whispered as you were stood in silence for a precise minute, neither of you daring to break the silence until you had. His blue eyes stared into yours, awaiting the next part of your speech. You swallowed your nerves down, figuring fuck it. "I'm so in love with you."

He grinned, his head swooping down before you knew it and his lips pressing against yours in a heated embrace that sent a sensation of butterflies to fly wildly in your stomach, bashing against your ribcage and taking your breath away. Shivers flew up your spine, and every hair on your body stood on edge as the kiss grew heavier, tongues brushing and teeth clattering, bodies pressed against each other as much as they could manage.

When JJ's lips left yours, you almost whined. JJ grinned cheekily, hands digging into your hips. "I love you," he breathed against the skin of your neck as he buried his head there, lips tickling the flesh. "I can't believe you just macked on me while I have a gun in my pocket."

You rolled your eyes and tugged gently on his hair, spurring a laugh from him as you shoved him away and grinned despite yourself. "Do not remind me, please," you warned him, allowing him to pull you into his side as you made your way down the beach. "I still can't believe you took that thing."

"I knew it'd come in handy though," he grinned, pulling you closer with the arm thrown over your shoulder. You wrapped yours around his waist, face squished in his chest as you shook your head.

"You're an idiot, Maybank."

#jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x you #jj maybank imagine #jj x reader #jj x you #jj one shot #obx jj #jj outer banks #jj obx #jj obx imagine #jj maybank #outer banks imagine #outer banks x you #outer banks x reader #outer banks #obx imagine #obx fic #kook!reader #kook!reader x jj #john b routledge #kiara carrera #pope heyward #sarah cameron #topper thorton

[tardytothepardy]

Fruits Basket - Vol 17

I am,,, confused. Thoroughly. Did I read this too fast? Am I misunderstanding? This book felt like a series of "What? Huh? What? Huh? What? Whuhh?? Huhhhhh?????" and I am kinda bewildered.

So let's talk about it,,, somehow.

It starts with Shigure and Hatori talking about Akito's meltdown at New Year's, and how apparently Shigure tried to comfort Akito, but Akito was having none of it. The topic of Kureno came up, and how he just seems off, disconnected, in a sense, and also how Akito seems to have chosen Kureno above all the other Juunishi.

Panning over to Kureno, in the previous book Momiji gave him the CD of the play, "Sorta Cinderella". He seemed pretty affected by the things that Uotani said, but they also reminded him of moments with Akito, when he was younger. He calls Shigure later, asking for Tohru, which Shigure finds odd. What business would the two of them have? But it turns out that later, Tohru does run into Kureno, on her way to the store. She was squatting next to a bunch of birds, and when he showed up, they flew away. This is important at all, because that isn't what usually happens to the animals that the Juunishi share a spirit with (agh how to phrase things), in fact it's the opposite. Tohru asks Kureno about this, and then he solidifies any questions by hugging her and,,,, nothing happens. Somehow, he isn't affected by the curse. It has no hold on him, he won't turn into a bird (I suppose a rooster, specifically, which is kinda sad bc I was looking forward to that, in a little way. It'd be funny, if nothing else) if he gets really weak or sick, or if he hugs someone of the opposite sex.

Tohru asks him how this happened, and when, but Kureno doesn't really know. It happened randomly one day, a while back, but he has no idea was triggered it. It's just that, one day, he was vibin, doing his thing, and it just happened. No one else in the family knows, he's just been pretending that he's still a Juunishi. Kureno also said that he can't be with Uotani, that the CD was a wasted attempt, because he's promised to be with and take care of another person, that person being Akito. Kureno makes it clear, though, that he still does care for Uotani, but he just can't be with her. This whole time, it's been switching between the current interaction between Kureno and Tohru, and flashing back to when Kureno first realized that the curse broke for him, and Akito was just fucking losing his mind, screaming and shit. He begged for Kureno to stay, regardless of the curse (btw, at this point, Kureno's a teenager, and Akito's still a little kid, so it was a little while ago), and Kureno said that he would promise to stay with Akito, stay by his side, pretend that he's still a Juunishi, etc.

And then, at the end of the chapter, something is revealed: apparently Akito's a girl. To be honest, I'm not really sure what to do with this information. As far as I can remember, it doesn't really have much to do with anything. Why has he (she? fuck. I have no idea.) been presenting as a boy this whole time? Because his mom forced him, since he was born. Why did she do that? I don't know, it didn't say in this book. Hopefully it fucking clarifies later on, because I'm just getting vibes from that one Insidious movie, with that ghost/demon person. Wasn't that their deal? Something like that. Reversed, but something like that. Idk, I was too busy being scared shitless to think about the intricacies of the plot.

Anyway, so Akito's apparently a girl, but has been raised as a boy. Four of the Juunishi know this: Shigure, Hatori, Ayame, and Kureno, because they were all kids when Akito was born. Apparently, when Akito's mom (her name is Ren) was pregnant with Akito, they all came to her and were crying and shit, acting super weird. Like, they all just knew that Akito would be the God.

As a fun side note, Ren and Akito fucking hate each other. Just,, so much. Is there a person in the Sohma family that doesn't have familial issues, because it just seems like there are a lot of people who do. I think maybe Kagura doesn't? I haven't seen anything saying she has issues. Nothing much has been said about Shigure's, Hatori's, or Kureno's families, so maybe they're okay? I dunno, but one of the things that specifically shows up between Ren and Akito, is that Ren does not believe in the "bond" that Akito and the rest of the Juunishi have, saying that it's a fake love, that, if given the choice, the Juunishi would not behave or treat Akito the way they do, which is kinda true. From what I read about when Yuki first met Akito, there were a lot of conflicting feelings, ranging from "I hate you but also I never want to be away from you" to "This is hell on earth just being near this person but also to be away from this person is agony", and like, whoa. That's a lot. I doubt it's like that at all anymore, but there has been some mentions that Akito does have some higher hold on the Juunishi than other people do.

All this said and done, I still want to know more. I am heavily curious. I'd like to know more about Akito's whole situation. I'm glad he's not just a one-dimensional "bad guy", but dang, some of this stuff, it just feels like it's coming out of left field. (Is that a baseball thing? That sounds like a baseball thing. Idioms are weird.)

By the time that Kureno leaves, Tohru's a wreck. She's crying, and confused, and just,,, yikes. (I kinda was too, but just the confused part.) And so who comes to the rescue than Hanajima, and also Hanajima, but the small one. (I realized recently that most of these people are referred to by their first names, except for like, Uotani and Hanajima, which makes sense. A massive swath of these characters would all be "Sohma". It'd be confusing as fuck. But still. Idk) Hanajima felt Tohru's sheer confusion and despair, and Megumi tagged along because why not, y'know?

Hanajima decided that Tohru would stay with her for the night, so that she and Tohru and Uotani could all talk stuff out about what Tohru was upset about. Unfortunately for Shigure, Yuki and possibly Kyo? I don't think he was home at the time but maybe??, that meant that Tohru wasn't making dinner. So Yuki potentially gave Shigure and himself food poisoning, but hey, it's better than takeout, right? (Seriously, Tohru's back must be tired from cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, and dealing with everyone's emotional baggage, she's doing so much. And she still has her own personal shit that she does, like,,, how hasn't she lost her shit yet??)

Tohru says that Kureno was kind, in that he was looking out for other people's feelings and wellfare before his own, and Hanajima says that she (Tohru) does the same thing (which is what Uotani first saw in Kureno, and why she thought that he was like Tohru), but Hanajima worries that the more that Tohru does that, the more that she carries the worries and troubles of other people, it could end up hurting her. (We love a caring friend that cares) In the end, Uotani tells Tohru that it's okay, that she cares more about the relationships she has now than whatever she might have had with Kureno, which was nice.

Moving onwards, the school is making preparations for graduation! I don't think Tohru and Co. are graduating quite yet (maybe they are idk), but there are these paper flowers that they're making, and for some reason, shenanigans ensue. Like, a group of girls just nabbing a bunch of flowers that Kyo made?? Why? That's really weird of you to do. Stop that. (They were tracked down and forced to make up for all the flowers they stole, because for some reason they wouldn't give back the flowers they stole.) It's kinda weird, I forgot that Kyo is also kinda popular with girls, because usually we only hear from the girls that fawn over Yuki. But yeah, that's a thing for Kyo, as well. Weird, either way.

Now we are at the last chunk of the book, hooray! This isn't as long as the previous one 😬. So, Shigure and Akito got something weird going on. I'm not really sure what to think of it, honestly. Apparently Shigure slept with Ren, and Akito kicked him out of the main house as a punishment, which Shigure did not fight back at all. (wow that was not a large section at all i totally didn't just lose steam and stop right there at all nope not me i don't do that not at all)

I'll admit that part of me is still kinda,, squeamish? I guess? about people in the Sohma household being in relationships, it's just that they all have "Sohma", that is probably messing me up. Idk. It's definitely not a healthy relationship. All kinds of weird tensions and miscommunication abound. It's not a good time.

#I peeked a bit at the next book and that first portion seems cute #doesn't really have much to do with what I'm writing now though #I guess I'll just finish reading it then write about it #I mean what else would I do #I'm still confused about the whole thing with Akito #Especially with like...... what pronouns to use??? #Because they'll say 'i fear for him. he's just a scared little girl' and i'm like HUH #it's weird #idk what to think #i'm quite confused #and i'm also just wondering why #why is it a thing #why did ren do that #it's bizarre #anyway #tohru honda #yuki sohma #kyo sohma #shigure sohma #hatori sohma #akito sohma #kureno sohma #hanajima saki #hanajima megumi #uotani arisa #fruits basket #furuba #fruits basket vol 17 #fruits basket volume 17

[ofivorywings]

𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩. 𝐖𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩. 𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟. 𝐍𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐡 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲. 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬, 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠.

Another character with a terribly long intro. I don’t know how I keep managing this holy shittt. But also some of yall noticed originally I had her as unknown species but I changed that bc I figured out her species and was like nawwww. She don’t know but whatevers. Anywho prepare for sadness and angst! *thumbs up*

Stella Nox was the first and only child of Vaan and Lara Nox. That had much to do with Lara’s death during the birth. Yet Vaan  refused to that influence his love for his daughter. Instead he decided to raise her with all the love he was capable of. Hoping that somehow even without Lara that would be enough. Their last name meant night. So, Lara had decided on the name Stella. Star. She was their starry night. A light in the darkness. Their little girl. 

Vaan struggled with raising Stella on his own, but he managed. At least until Stella started to be able to walk. Once her feet his the ground his baby girl was always wondering around and trying to find new things. She’d been five years old and chasing a butterfly when Stella, too invested in the butterfly, didn’t look where she was going. She ran straight into a young man. A special young man. The prince of the kingdom in which they lived. Avalon’s prince August.

He was the rebellious sort of prince. Also the type to have never even spoken to a child before. So when Stella skimmed her knee and began to cry, instead of looking for a parent or someone who knew her August brought her home to the palace. 

The king had been deceased for the last three years and the queen had ruled. The people loved her, many said she was a better leader then her husband. It was that which irked prince August. He hadn’t an idea how he’d live up to his father’s reign, and then his mother’s began and just how could he live up to that? He didn’t even know how to help a crying five year old. Or that, perhaps he shouldn’t of taken her without even asking her name or if her parents were near. 

Queen Cecilia was a smart woman. The best rule their kingdom had had in a very long time. She took one look at the little girl with a skimmed knee and big wet tears in her eyes and was able to calm her down. Stella’s father, Vaan, had been searching for everywhere he could in the meantime. He had been ready to start a rescue party and trek into dangerous lands when the royal carriage came along. Then there was Stella, holding their queens hand. While everyone bowed instead Vaan ran to his daughter’s side and pulled her into a tight hug. He kissed her forehead and didn’t let go out the small child said Daddy you’re squishing me. 

Vaan thanked their queen for bringing his child home. Then, Queen Cecilia remarked that her son had technically kidnapped her. Then there was tea. Somehow along the way Queen Cecilia’s visits became something of regularity. By the time Stella was seven her father and the queen were engaged.  She even got to be the flower girl. 

There was never intention of Vaan becoming the ruler of Avalon. In fact the suggestion alone was meant with laughter. He loved Cecilia, and thought there was no other who could be a better ruler. Stella was excited for August to become her brother, but the elder boy seemed annoyed with all she did. He was a teenager, almost a adult. No time for childish games. Still, Stella loved him. She loved Cecilia too, and being apart of a family. She loved moving into the castle and going through the gardens. She loved awakening to the birds singing in the morning and talking to the maids while they did their work, even learning how to do some of it on her own. She loved the stories knights would tell, and even wanted to learn how to use a sword. Her father had seemed a bit frightened at the prospect while Cecilia assured she’d teach her when she was older. Above all, however, Stella loved music. All sorts. 

Every time Stella tried to approach August he reminded her again and again they weren’t siblings. They weren’t blood. Yet still, there were moments when it felt like they were. Like when she asked about his adventures he told her every little detail. Smaller moments, when he simply passed by and ruffled her hair without thought. Then bigger ones, like when there was a fire and he had grabbed her so protectively and dragged her to safety.

August was her big brother. No matter what he said. By the time Stella was eight her father and Cecilia were expecting their first child together. August was less accepting of a new little sibling then she was. Yet, when he was finally born August had been the first to hold him after their parents. Then Stella herself (with supervision). Cecilia and Vaan were still undecided on a name by the time Stella’s own birthday came around.  

She was turning nine, one year away from being ten. Double digits! Her father had gotten her a necklace with the number on it at her own behest. Stella wanted all to know she was now 9. Even August had cracked and given into the one present she requested from him. She wanted him to take her to a play. The fight in itself only occurred when he revealed the single ticket. She’d be able to see it, but he wouldn't be with her. For the first since they met Stella was genuinely upset with him, to the point of tears. Her hopes had been up, she was going to be able to spend time with her brother. Once saying so, August was quick to intervene with four simple words. “I’m not your brother!” Then, Stella ran away. Inciting the words Leave me alone! 

Stella ran to the garden. Her favorite place to be, surrounded by flowers. She also liked to sing. So she did, a little lullaby that her father mentioned her mother having loved. After a while to calm down, Stella made her way back inside.

Things were not as she left them. Red stained the floors and walls, body after body dead on the ground. Stella shrieked. She dashed towards where she had seen her father and Cecilia last… only to find her father dead on the ground and Cecilia pinned to the wall with a sword through her chest. Before she could even try and shake them try and wake them up cause they couldn’t be dead– she was grabbed by a maid. The woman was called Krista and she always made the very best cake. She even offered to teach Stella how to cook before. Something that never happened. Krista informed her that the queen was dead. So was her father. But, she would get her out of there safely. She’d protect Stella, the little girl who wa so kind.. However she had to be quiet. 

They were with a handful of other maids, many Stella knew. So Stella tried to remain as quiet as she could, though the thoughts of August and her unnamed little brother were intrusive. She succeeded in remaining quiet. But it wasn’t enough. They were caught in the end. However…. Stella herself never was seen. Krista was stabbed through her back and collapsed upon the little girl. Stella hit her head on the floor, and in the chaos she was unable to stay afloat. She awoke covered in bodies. Other maids had followed suite with Krista’s actions, using their deaths to protect the little girl they cared for. Leaving their bodies atop of her in a pile of corpses. 

Stella was trapped under them for quite sometime. She’d barely been able to breath, and light hurt her eyes when it finally blared through. It was villagers, probably here to pillage the castle. A kindly old man, he helped her out. Then Stella ran. 

She was scared– so scared. She wanted to find August, she wanted to find their little brother. She kept on running and running until she crossed from their world into the human one. Straight into the street where a car hit her.

The little girl had already been disoriented from the trauma, hitting her head on the pavement made it easier for her mind to hide all the memories that hurt her so badly.  

Then she became a nameless little girl on the streets on New York. No identity, no memories, no nothing. Yet somehow, she survived. She met another on the streets. He called himself Rascal. She had no idea what it meant yet laughed her heart out anyway. He, like her, was on a kid on the streets. He brought her ‘home’. There was a ton of them, all boys. There was a leader of them, elder then the rest but not by much. He introduced himself as Pete. Like Peter Pan, he had explained. Except more grown up. She had no idea what Peter Pan was. Which was why Pete decided to show her. 

They had a tiny little TV, hooked up to electricity that wasn’t theirs and a stack of DVDs. Then they watched the movie. The moving pictures were enchanting to the small girl. It was only after the credits were rolling did Pete even realize he hadn’t asked the girls name or age. She didn’t know either. He saw the 9 on her neck and decided, well of course that had to be 9. However her name was much harder. One of the boys, Louder, he called himself (though she doubted it was his real name) he suggested Wendy. Pete reacted with venom to that and instead suggested Jane. So she became Jane. 

Time passed. Jane became acquainted with the streets of New York and how to survive upon them. Then one day Pete brought home a girl. She told them to call her Wendy, but she had heard Pete call her Miley. Peter had said she’d be like their mom, in the same way he was like their dad. However she wasn’t like Wendy at all, not motherly. She was more like those Mermaids, jealous of anything Pete looked at that wasn’t her.

Then came the day Pete looked at Jane in a way that felt like he’d done something wrong. It was that same night she knew why. Miley had dragged her out, Jane didn't even remember the excuse. There were men there, the kind Pete had warned her to stay away from. They handed Miley some money and she looked so smug. Then Jane ran like hell. 

She heard the angry yells behind her, screams to stop. She ran into Rascal. Tumbled into him, actually. When they met she was taller then him. Now he was taller then her. Then she continued running. She ran and she ran, knowing that there wasn’t any home to go back to.

Jane thought about that day many times since. She wondered if Pete had known, then she remembered that look on his face and realized Yes. He had. He had to. There was no way he hadn’t. So she got by on her own. There was little choice in the matter. She hadn’t ever gotten the chance to see that second movie. Why the name Jane was chosen. So instead she thought of herself as Jane Doe. 

Then she met Theo. She was 11 and he was 9, and had she been so much of a headache back then? He was small, and he was alone. Just like she’d been. The difference was that she wouldn't betray him like they had betrayed her. She would protect him in the way she hadn’t been protected. 

Though Jane decided to protect him, she had no intention of liking him or loving him. Both happened anyway.  Theo was infectious. In the sort of way that he made you smile even when you were trying to be serious and angry. Theo became Theo. Her Theo. Who she gave piggy back rides to, and who let her be clingy even once they began to grow. 

Then they were the Coopers. It was one night, a good night. Laughing despite the fact it was cold and they didn’t have much warmth. They were speaking, two people who spent almost all time together yet were able to speak together hours on end. They decided that someday, somehow, they were gonna be normal. Normal as could goddamn be. They needed a goddamn normal name of course. Jones? No. Smith? Yuck. Cooper? Cooper. They were the Coopers. 

By the time she turned 17 Jane somehow obtain a honest job. She hadn’t intended to, except then she was getting money and it was actual good money? Suddenly small things became affordable. Then big things. She even began to play music. For some reason, people like it. Then, by the time she was 20, she had a home. Actually a dingy apartment but it made do. However, while her life had brightened Theo’s had darkened. Drinks, drunks, anything you could think of he’d name it. It scared her and Jane had no clue what to do about it. 

So she offered him her couch and thank god he took it. Men and their pride was a scary thing. Yet, she did have one rule Just one. He had to stop using. It was killing him and Jane couldn’t bare to see him gone. Theo was her little brother. Blood or not.

He didn't abide by the deal, except Theo was her little brother and she’d rather him be with her then on the streets. Even if he refused to stop using, she had to be there for him. She was all he had. He was all she had.  Then one day there was a note and no Theo. Just a note giving excuses why he wasn't here. Well, actually they were heartfelt words but all she all could she think was dammit as she read it because she couldn't see straight. Her vision was too blurry from tears. When she finally was able to read the note she sobbed the whole night. 

Then, she waited. Hoping and praying Theo would come back. Knock on her door, just be there. She was frightened beyond belief. That one day she’d get a call about his body turning up, or see his face on the news. She was also scared that it wouldn’t. That he’d be buried somewhere in a unmarked grave never to be heard from again. That she’d been holding out for someone who was dead. 

It took five months before Jane went down to the police station to file for a missing person. The cop was a dick. Your brother isn’t missing. He said. He’s a junkie who left. Jane had been ready to deck him, when another cop came over to stop the altercation. 

The funny thing is though, Jane recognized those eyes anywhere. So instead of stopping mid punch she went for the stomach. All other cops went to apprehend her only for Pete to yell ‘Don’t!’ and then a small ‘I deserved that’. Then, she turned and attempted to storm away. 

“Jane!” He said, and she couldn't help but notice he retained that boyish sound to his voice. She turned fast and poked hard, right in his chest in a way she knew to be bothersome. “You don’t deserve to be a cop! You deserve shit!” And Pete agreed. He also said he was going by Peter now. He made no excuse, no attempt at one. Just a heartfelt apology, one she didn’t accept. But she did accept his offer to keep an eye out for Theo. Any reports of a junkie, OD victim, any of it, he’d make sure it wasn’t him. Sometimes he’d even see if they knew him for her. 

Two years passed, and while Jane has yet to forgive him she greets him with less disdain. She did learn that he hadn’t actually known, he had suspected. He also said he came to stop it after she’d already run. Jane couldn’t bring herself to care, because if she hadn’t run and he’d been too late. Well, it would of been too late. Sometimes they talked about things beyond her brother. Sometimes they didn’t. Theo still was on her mind each and every day. Fear for him, hope for him and sometimes just quiet tears that wouldn’t stop cause she missed him so damn much.

She never left her dingy apartment. She couldn’t. Jane feared that if she did, when Theo did come back, he wouldn't know how to find her. Which was what made being forced into San Francisco so damn heartbreaking. How’d Theo find her now?

#apx:intro #death tw #murder tw #implication of prostitution tw #drugs tw #addiction tw #YO THIS GETS LONG

[myerstumbluh]

IDK IM A BORED CHILD

1.) applesauce or pudding?: Pudding

2.) what was your initial reaction when you first realized that your parents had to have had sex to have you?: I barfed a little…. Was- no, am, scarred…. I’ve never looked at them the same way since I was like 10.

3.) if you could create ANY mix-up or mythical animal and have it be brought to life, what would it be?: Probably like pixies or something.

4.) what kind of bread do you prefer?: cINNAMON RAISIN TOAST

5.) describe a moment that is a prominent memory, but didn't have a strong impact on your life: getting hit in the head with a baseball bat :) (it was an accident!)

6.) what is the quote/lyric that you relate to most?: I’m here and I’m queer. :)))

7.) if there was one problem/issue you could wipe off the face of the earth, what would it be?: Something along the lines of xenophobia, homophobia, transphobia, sexism… etc

8.) do you think everyone in our lives serves a purpose, or are some people just there?: Everyone serves a purpose. Big or microscopic, there’s some purpose there.

9.) Favorite knock-knock/cheesy joke?: oh man… there are so many…. idkkk

10.) how do you feel about getting your picture taken?: It depends on the day, tbh

11.) most embarrassing poster you've ever owned?: Jonas Brothers

12.) what are the 3 worst movies of all time?: I feel like im not wise enough in film culture to properly answer that.

13.) when was the last time you were in a public setting and a stranger annoyed you?: All the time every time??

14.) strangest pet peeve?: When people eat their chips and salsa over the communal salsa jar. Im sorry but i, not okay with your dirty mouth germs in my salsa, thanks.

15.) what is a quirk you find cute in a significant other?: whEN SHE SCRUNCHES UP HER FACE GAH.

16.) if you could make a guest appearance in ANY show, which one would you choose?: I could be a pretty gay addition to Degrassi, honestly.

17.) who do you think is the most underrated comedian?: Hmm…. I’m not educated well enough in the land of comedians to properly answer that question. Im sorry.

18.) based on your personality, what do you think your spirit animal is?: Maybe a rabbit? Justification? Sex Drive: 100% on all the time tbh. Twitching: YUP

19.) color combination that you hate?: Brown and Green/Brown and anything, really

20.) what is your favorite childhood memory?: sTAYING UP TILL MIDNIGHT PLAYING POKEMON

21.) what cartoon character do you most resonate with?:Courage the Cowardly Dog. I’m a paranoid ball of anxiety.

22.) what game do you never lose at?: The ones that don’t exist.

23.) what does your dream home look like?: Preferably near the beach, but secluded. Not big but not small at the same time…. cOLORFUL

24.) Honestly, do you love your family, like them, dislike them, or hate them?: I LOVE MY FAMILY.

25.) pettiest argument you've ever been in?: So many… oh god, so many. Probably when a friend was being a control freak about clothes and i ended up being the bad guy when i was trying to make peace.

26.) what is the weirdest article of clothing you've ever come across?: popcorn shirts

27.) what is your favorite day of the week?: thursday/friday

28.) Do you feel offended by swear words?: nO, DO YOU FUCKING KNOW ME?

29.) Stupidest dare you've ever done?: “Take off my sock with your mouth”

30.) Did your parents ever compare you to your siblings or cousins growing up? Did that affect the way things turned out?: mY DAD COMPARE(D)(S) ME TO MY OLDER BROTHER BC HE’S GOOD AT SPORTS AND IM MORE ART-BASED. It fucked me up, mentally haha. I think it’s all a competition now :)

31.) You get to be any person in the world for a whole week. Who do you choose?: mYSELF. Jk. Idk actually. Probably like a little kid.

32.) one food you hate that should be destroyed at all costs?: beets or lima beans

33.) What is your favorite past time for each of the four seasons? Does sleeping count?

34.) what is something that will always make you laugh?: My older brother saying “pudding” in an angERY voice.

35.) what does your pet look like?: Shes a black cocka-poo (cocker spaniel/poodle) and she’s very fuzzy and her fur is v v curly and big. She’s like medium-sized and has a skinny face, but is actually pretty chubby.

36.) describe your favorite outfit.: 1- Black Tshirt, almost white jeans, yELLOW SCARF. 2- Overalls, black shirt, flannel.

37.) most annoying noise you've ever heard?: so many annoying laughs… so many

38.) at what age did you learn to drive?: mmmmm soon

39.) What is something that you own which you know you probably shouldn't?: hmmm.. idk

40.) last thing you made with your own 2 hands?: a thing for my english class

41.) Favorite time of day?: midnight

42.) Do you believe in ghosts, spirits, or any kind of afterlife?: yeah bud

43.) what sports did you do in school?: HAHAHAH SPORTS! THAT’S SO FUNNY.

44.) if you had been voted for a 'superlative' in your last yearbook (class clown, laziest, most likely to become president, etc) what would you have been voted?: I was voted best dressed and most likely to succeed. Boy, were they funny!

45.) reality show idea that you would most definitely watch on television?: Maybe like something exploring mental health of all ages and different ethnicities etc etc

46.) do you still own a landline phone?: ha no

47.) scariest storm you've ever had in your town?: we havent really… well those thanksgiving storms from like 2012 that fucked up the power. Was it 2012? With the big icicles?

48.) skill you wish you had?: tO NOT GIVE A FUCK

49.) what is something you wish you could talk more about, but don't for fear of what other people would think?: My mental stability

50.) last book you read?: Everything, Everything

51.) what does your calendar have on it?: appointments, birthdays, every 19th has a heart :)

52.) what do you do if you get stopped by a person selling something from a mall kiosk?: It depends who im with. If im with family i just sorta smile and walk away. If im with friends, ill probably stop.

53.) infomercial you're beyond tired of seeing?: all of them

54.) what was your first stuffed animal/doll's name?: Cotton Candy

55.) have you ever said something out of anger and instantly regretted it?: Yeah. got into an argument w my mom when i was like 12 and she was like “youre just like your father” and im like “id rather be like him than be like you”

56.) how do you feel about raising minimum wage?: yes

57.) how would you spend a perfect day with your best friend?: WATCH DISNEY MOVIES, DRINK TEA, AND EAT FOOD ALL DAY

58.) when was the last time you changed the oil in your car?: no

59.) did you ever have to do speech therapy?: When i was a smol tater tot bean, yes. They wanted to continue in elementary school, but my mom was like no no no

60.) something you're looking forward to in the future?: 18 more days from now ;)