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#Sam wilson
*pulls out hypnosis circle and shoves it in marvel’s face.*OoOohhHh yOOoUuU WAaAanNnNAA gIIiIvVvEEe sARaH wIlSoN mOrE sCrEeNtImeeEe ooOOOoH yOu wAnnA gIvE iT to her sOoOOOoO bAaAAd
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I will pay you to actually hypnotize them.
mod laina
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starkravinghazelnoots · 15 minutes ago
One plz write it, it would be so good!!! I’ve been living in this headspace for an hour now and I can just see Sam answering the door because sarah is upstairs getting ready for the date but she runs down to try and get it before him (they’re siblings, u know he’s gonna try and embarrass her) and he’s opens it and is like “Ms. Parker?” And Sarah is like “😧 how do you know May?” And he’s like “Wait this is the May you’ve been gushing about for the last 3 months??!? This is the only woman besides Pepper Potts to make tony stark cry out of shame…I approve immensely” -cut to 20 min later after Sarah+May have left- *Sam realizing why he knows May, and now future potential sticky nephew* “What the F—!” Cue credits (Sarah/May anon)
LMAO YES YES THIS IS SO GOOD!! thank you for giving me your blessing, hopefully i will be able to work on this idea soon 🙏 (i think interconnected oneshots/ficlets will be easiest for me to manage? we shall see). i also love the idea of peter and aj & cass immediately hitting it off whenever they inevitably meet (which is definitely a concept i allude to in my current sarahmay // sambucky wip) and sam is like "tf. why does everyone like the spider kid"
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storiesbystarlight · 16 minutes ago
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The Parker-Wilson Family Masterlist
Sam Wilson x Parker! Reader, Peter Parker x Mom! Reader
Fandom: The MCU
Y/N Parker-Wilson, Spider-Man’s mom and Sam Wilson’s girlfriend. These are some stories from their small family
A Soldier Comes Home
Y/N Parker, Peter Parker’s mother and Sam Wilson’s girlfriend, comes home from deployment
A Growing Family
It’s Sam’s birthday, and Y/N has a special gift for him
In Louisiana
Sam Wilson makes a layover in Louisiana after a mission, and and is met with a surprise
Baby Parker-Wilson
The new member of the family is finally here
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buckysplumass · 28 minutes ago
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Sam: * walking to the kitchen at night to see bucky crying on the floor
Sam: um hey bud. What's wrong?
Bucky: snakes can never feel platonical love:(
Sam, already massaging his temples in stress: oh and why's that hun?
Bucky: they don't have arms to hug with and if they get tangled in each other, they would be having sex cus that's how snakes have sex sam. They can never hug each other sam
Sam: ...
Sam: buck get your ass to bed
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sambuckyslay · 32 minutes ago
I don't get the fuss because this is Marvel 'we don't let our actors read the scripts' Studios. They wouldn't let any spoiler like that be exposed unless it's for lies or Buck gets overrun by W.S programming. Just saying. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Exactly what I thought. And I feel like if they did that it would feel like they were trying too hard to lure people in with the idea of this movie being like Captain America: The Winter Soldier. It needs to stand on it's own without relying on callbacks to previous CA films, imo.
But that same insider alleges that Sam Wilson ends up taking the serum so if the rumors are true then that could be the reason for the fight.
And obviously that opens up a whole other can of worms because why make a big deal about the serum and Sam refusing to take it in TFATWS and then have him do it anyway? It makes that whole arc seem pointless.
So here's to hoping that we're right and this is an unreliable source, lol.
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storiesbystarlight · 32 minutes ago
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Baby Parker-Wilson
Sam Wilson x Parker! Reader, Peter Parker x Mom! Reader
Fandom: The MCU
Parker-Wilson Family Masterlist: More stories in the same universe
Summary: The new member of the family is finally here
Warnings: Mentions of childbirth and labor, some medical stuff (they’re in a hospital), father missing the birth of his child, stressed Sam, fluff
April 9th had been an exhausting day for every member of the Wilson-Parker family, though Sam and Bucky were oblivious to the stress the rest of the family had experienced that day. The two had been away on a mission for two weeks, something Sam was very anxious about.
The due date for his and Y/N’s baby was drawing ever closer, and he didn’t want to risk missing it. Sadly, skipping this mission hadn’t been an option, and they had been away for longer than either of them had expected.
“What’s that on the door?” Bucky asked as he slammed the car door shut.
Sam turned to see what he was talking about, and saw what appeared to be a note stuck on the front door of the house. After slinging his duffel bag over his shoulder, he walked onto the porch and stopped to read said note.
Sam and Bucky,
If you’re reading this, you should be done with the mission. We’re at the hospital, get your asses here now
Sarah
“The hospital?” Bucky said, as realization struck Sam.
“Shit.” He said, opening the door and throwing his bag in, before moving back to the car. “Put the bag inside and get over here.”
“What’s- oh.” Bucky realized the situation, and quickly followed Sam’s instructions.
He’d barely had time to close the car door before they were driving away again.
“Pete.” Sarah stuck her head out from the hospital room to look at her nephew. “You can come in if you want.” She said, stepping out of the room and holding the door open for him.
He immediately stood up and walked into the room, seeing his mom half sitting half lying on the hospital bed.
“Hi honey.” She said, smiling at her son.
“Hi.” He replied, sitting down next to her. “How’d it go?”
“I’ve been told it went well, but I’ve barely seen for myself yet.” She said. “They took her away pretty quickly to clean her and such.”
“Well that’s good.” Peter said, relaxing slightly in his seat. “How’re you feeling?”
“Exhausted. But I’m happy it’s done.” Y/N said. “It’s been a long nine months, but now she’s here.”
“Knock knock.” Sounded from outside the room as the door was pushed open, and in stepped Dr. Kenny, along with a nurse who was holding a small bundle of blankets.
“We’re happy to report that your baby girl is happy and healthy.” Dr. Kenny said as the nurse handed the baby to Y/N.
Peter leaned in closer to look at his new baby sister, and a smile quickly spread on his face.
“Thank you Doctor.” Y/N said, and she smiled in response.
“Just doing my job.” She said. “We’ll be back soon, there are still some things to take care of, but we’ll give you some time alone.”
Dr. Kenny made a swift exit along with the nurse, and Y/N looked back down at her daughter.
“Hi baby.” She cooed, watching as she opened her eyes. “Welcome to the family.”
Y/N shifted slightly, allowing Peter to get a better look.
“Hey Tiny.” He said, reaching a hand out, and let her small fingers close around one of his. “It’s nice to finally meet you. We’ve been waiting a long time for you.”
“Speaking of waiting, I wonder where your daddy is.” Y/N said, glancing at the door.
As if on cue, the door opened and Sarah looked in. “Guess who finally showed up?” She said, and Sam entered the room.
Sarah gave him a shove towards his wife and kids, before closing the door again.
“Speak of the devil.” Y/N said, looking at him, and that seemed to shake Sam from his trance, and he chuckled.
“Sorry I’m late.” He said, in typical Sam fashion, and moved to sit on Y/N’s other side. “Can’t believe I missed it.”
“You’re here now, that’s what matters.” Y/N said, moving to hand the baby to her father.
“Hi baby girl.” He said, looking down at the bundled was now holding in his arms. “Sorry I wasn’t here when you arrived.”
“She doesn’t seem to mind too much.” Y/N said, smiling at the way the small girl reached up towards Sam’s face.
“Decided on a name yet?” Sam asked.
“Well, I had one in mind, but I didn’t want to decide without you.” Y/N said, and Sam looked at her. “Riley Darlene Wilson has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”
“I think it sounds great.” Peter said.
“I think you’re right, Spider-Kid.” Sam said, making Peter roll his eyes.
“It’s Spider-Man.” He said, and both Y/N and Sam chuckled.
“You’re still our kid though.” Y/N said.
“Fair enough.” Peter conceded, before he perked up and pulled out his phone. “Can I take a picture to send to May? I promised I’d update her.”
“Get over here.” Sam smiled, and Peter rounded the bed and took a picture of Riley before sending it to May.
“Are you sure about Riley?” Sam asked, looking at Y/N.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” She asked. “He meant a lot to you, and something tells me she does too.”
Sam smiled, and blinked away the tears in his eyes. “That’s an understatement.”
There was another knock on the door, and Bucky stuck his head in.
“Think we can come in? I’m starting to feel bad for Sarah having to keep me and the boys in check.” He asked, and AJ and Cass peeked in behind Bucky.
“Have at it.” Y/N said, and the remaining family members, well, the ones present, piled into the room.
The boys gathered around Sam, who was still holding Riley, while Sarah went to stand next to Y/N.
“So what’s Tiny’s name?” Bucky asked, a hand placed on the back of Sam’s chair, looking down at the baby girl.
“Riley. Riley Darlene Wilson.” Y/N said.
“You didn’t name her after me?” Bucky said, placing a hand over his chest. “I’m offended.”
“Get over it, Cyborg.” Sam said, you could practically hear his eyes rolling.
“Alright, I guess I will.” Bucky joked, and clapped Sam on the shoulder. “You did good, Bird Man.”
“You really did.” Sarah told Y/N, who gave her a grateful smile.
“It seems we did.”
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onlyjamesbarnes · 40 minutes ago
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That Should Be Me - Peter Parker x Reader
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a/n: this is my monday entry for @theweasleyslut's 2k writing challenge! i'm going to challenge myself to post each fic on the day the prompts were posted, so we'll see how that goes. this is my first time writing for peter, so bear with me!!
you can still join!! go to this page right here before june 20th :)
pairings: peter parker x reader, ex!steve rogers x reader
word count: 2227 words, not too bad :)
warnings: some language (I think, maybe not), lots of angst, drinking, some fluff, jealousy jealousyyy, peter is aged up ppl!!, literally one kiss
prompts used: wedding + "you look like you need a hug."
sneak-peek: you think sitting through your ex's wedding is the end of the world. peter begs to differ.
all dividers created by the amazing @firefly-graphics <3
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Satin curtains were strung along the top of each window as sunlight poured into the hall. It was a beautiful sunny day in Brooklyn, just hot enough to require fans around the room, but weddings in June were always divine.
Vases with orchids, dahlias, and silver dollars for greenery were placed in the middle of every table, surrounded by fine china and silverware. Each seat had a place card at the top of the plate, each guest methodically given their own place.
A four-tier white cake sat at the head of the room, and two tiny figures stood at the very top. The miniature bride and groom looked to be sharing a dance, smiles etched onto both of their faces.
The wedding was absolutely magnificent. But it should have been yours.
You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t envisioned a future with Steve Rogers. Even before you knew him personally, you worked under Dr. Helen Cho as a nurse for the Avengers. You figured your job wasn’t exactly important to the team until you realized how many times they would get hurt in 24 hours, and how many missions they attended all the time.
You got to know the team very well, but you found yourself assigned to Steve after the attack on Sokovia. His lip was cut, his ankle was sprained, and there was a deep gash on his right arm. “Captain, you’ve looked better,” you smiled at him, setting down your clipboard to grab a washcloth.
As you wet the washcloth, he smiled back at you. “Gee, thanks. That was one heck of a fight, and we still made a mess of the city. Unbelievable.” He extended his right arm to expose the cut, most likely made by one of those clones, and gently placed the cloth on it.
“Well, lucky for you, that serum is gonna heal you up in no time. Looks like I’ll have some time off pretty soon,” you teased, taking the cloth off his arm to wipe the blood off his face, but the cloth then returned to his arm.
“Don’t leave so soon, Y/N, I’m stuck in this room for at least a few days. Stay, make it worth my time.” His wink made you smile brightly, and you rolled your eyes jokingly. “Fine, Steve, I’ll stay here.”
“Actually, I like ‘Captain’ better.”
You weren’t expecting to fall that hard for a 100-year-old popsicle from Brooklyn. You kept telling yourself that he was simply a soldier, and you worked with him. Still, you grew closer and closer to him and found yourself attending to him every time he was hurt.
During the signing of the Sokovia Accords, he was nowhere to be found. You grew more and more nervous after the fight at the Berlin Airport since everyone who was supporting Steve was suddenly jailed or forced to go under the radar. You continued questioning weeks later as you urged your boss, Tony, to tell you his whereabouts, for his information, something that would tell you he was okay.
“I don’t know, Y/N, why do you keep asking? He violated the accords, refused to sign it, harbored and trusted the man who killed my mom over me; he’s a fugitive of the government. Not a man you want to cross paths with again.” You could hear how tired he was about talking on the subject of Steve as he turned to you. “Any status updates on Rhodey?”
You sighed, opening the tablet next to you. “Nothing really new… he’s going to survive, but he’s partially paralyzed from the waist down. Nothing your tech can’t fix…” Tony looked a bit nervous, “... and nothing he can’t get through. He’s been through hell and back in his lifetime, I think he’ll be okay.”
“Is that your personal or professional standpoint? He needs to be okay.”
“Calm down Tony, geez,” you smiled a little, watching his heart rate climb steadily on the monitor. “He’ll be okay.”
It was just days later when you were enjoying a latte at your favorite coffeehouse, which was pretty far from the compound. You loved your space, and you didn’t really feel like bumping into a bunch of coworkers every time you needed a bite to eat. Well, some coworkers were acceptable.
As you sat in the back, you noticed a figure walking towards you. Usually, no one came to the back, but your face lit up when you realized who it was.
“Sam?” you whispered as he placed a finger over his lips. He smiled and took the seat opposite of yours, facing away from the rest of the shop.
“Y/N, long time no see!”
“You could say that…. Where have you all been?”
He sighed, sitting back in the chair. “Everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Can’t be in one place for too long, it’s getting tiring.”
You nodded a little. “I can’t even imagine. How’s Bucky, and, uh… Steve?”
“Bucky’s over in Wakanda, under the ice again. Can’t say I blame him though, the man can’t even trust his own mind. He’ll be fine.” Sam shifts a bit in his seat. “Steve, on the other hand... requested your help.”
“Oh my- is he okay?” you asked, your eyes wide.
Sam chuckles, nodding his head. “Yes, yes, he’s fine. He wants you on the team.”
And just like that, you were under the Captain’s orders. You smashed your phone the second you stepped out of the coffee shop, according to Sam’s orders. The second you did, you were officially on the run.
You were the only nurse for the team, moving with them when they needed to abandon camp and making sure they were all patched up for the next fight. Usually, Sam needed more attention than Steve or Natasha, but you still spent most of your time around Steve.
The two of you were inseparable. You were Steve’s girl, and Sam talked about the way Steve wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. As soon as each of you got pardoned, you would start a new life.
Until all of it, in an instant, was snapped away.
You were still at base camp when it happened. Steve, Nat, and Sam were no longer on the run; they had given up their whereabouts to help the rest of the ‘Avengers,’ if you could even call them that, to defeat Thanos. You stayed back, still undercover, but you were keeping close watch and ear on the two.
You listened in on Sam’s suit, hearing the static suddenly. “Sam?” you heard Rhodey say from a distance, and you were incredibly confused.
You switched the signal to Steve’s suit, and he was breathing very heavily. “Steve?” you heard Bucky faintly say, and before you could hear anything else, you felt your body slipping away from me. You were dust, and a few moments too late, Steve’s voice rang through the radio, frantic and scared.
“Y/N? Are you there? Y/N, pick up!”
Five years later, you woke in the same spot. The same base camp, now abandoned in the middle of New England. It had been a moment to you, and you looked at the radio. You tried to contact Steve, Sam, Nat, even Tony, but no one was picking up.
Making your way into the city with the only imperishables you had left, you realized you hadn’t been the only one. The world was in chaos because half of all humans had disappeared. You were one of them. Where was Steve?
You finally reached the compound, a ring of orange sparks suddenly forming as you tried opening the door. Peter Parker, or ‘Spideyboy’ according to Sam, popped out
“Y/N! Just who I was looking for, M-Mr. Stark needs to see you,” he said frantically, pulling you through the portal. He was in the suit Tony made for him, his nose bleeding and his eyes red from tears. You were incredibly confused.
When he pulled you through, you were at Tony’s funeral. People who you had cured, people who you fought with, people who you fought against, and people who you frankly didn’t recognize stood around you. You stood with Bucky, Sam, and Wanda off to the side, watching the arc reactor float away into the distance. You knew life would never be the same again.
You didn’t get the chance to talk to Steve much. Before you could even greet him, he was already about to put the stones back.
Bucky brought you back to Tony’s cabin as he did, but you didn’t see Steve come back. Now, just months later, he was back.
But he brought someone with him from the 40s.
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Peggy.
You forced a smile as the happy couple walked into the reception room. You had survived an entire wedding being one of her bridesmaids; she told you she didn’t have any friends in the 21st century, and Steve insisted.
There you were, dressed in a gorgeous shade of pink next to Sharon and Nat. Watching the love of your life get married to the girl he told you not to worry about. The girl who he had said he had moved on from. This doesn’t look like moving on, Steve.
But Peggy looked so happy as she walked hand in hand with him, waving to all of the guests. You didn’t feel any hatred towards her; only jealousy filled you as she took a seat next to her husband. You knew they had history, but you kept reminding yourself that Steve never said goodbye. He just left.
“You look like you need a hug,” you heard a voice say behind you, a hand resting on your shoulder. You had been staring at the program for a few minutes as you sat in your seat. The rest of your friends at your table had gotten up to dance, especially after the song requests Sam put in. All except Peter Parker.
You sat back a little to look up at him. “I think I need a little more than a hug,” you sighed, setting down the piece of paper.
He nodded, looking to the side. “Maybe a drink? The idiots are doing an open bar, we might as well take advantage.”
You smiled at that, nodding. “I’d like that.” You stood with him, walking over to the bar just opposite the dance floor. Sam eyed you and motioned for you to come dance, but you turned it down for now. You turned to look at the bartender. “Old fashioned, if you wouldn’t mind.”
“Make that two,” Peter told him before taking a seat next to you. “So I know you know Cap, but I don’t really remember how. Mr. Stark might have mentioned it to me, but you’ll have to remind me.”
If you did, you wouldn’t be bringing it up. “He and I go way back,” you sighed, realizing Parker hadn’t been on the team in the days of Ultron. “I started as a nurse for the Avengers, but then he needed me after he became a fugitive. We dated, but then I got snapped.” You paused, not wanting to bring down the mood. “Peggy, though, is amazing. I’m happy to just be here with her, as her bridesmaid, I hope she’s having a good time,” you lied right through your teeth. You internally wished more.
But Peter could feel it. He could feel how you were feeling that you were upset. “No you don’t,” he chuckled, taking a sip when the bartender returned with the drinks. “And you have every right to be jealous. He had five years to move on, you’ve had, what, a few months? Give yourself some credit, but don’t let them ruin the night.”
“How can I? Steve’s over there, kissing her, being happy, while I’m -”
His lips cut you off, and you smiled a little as you felt his hands grip your arms. He was eager, eager to try and dissolve your thoughts of Steve. You did for a few moments, enjoying his lips against yours as he kissed you back. Your hand running through his soft brown hair, his body moving closer to you. You could taste the whiskey on his lips.
As he pulled away, he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. “While you’re kissin’ me.”
You were about to lean in for another when you felt a hand grab yours, and you were yanked from the bar. Sam was practically dragging you away. “Spidey, really? You could do so much better!”
You rolled your eyes as you tried to pull away, and you smiled as you saw Peter laughing. “Have fun, Y/N!” he called to you, picking up his drink and walking away from the bar.
“Sam, stop!” you were laughing now, finally releasing yourself from his grip.
“Dance with us, Y/N, let loose a little!” Sam was loving the tracks he had requested, and even Bucky was feeling the rhythm with you.
“I will, I will... Just let me just go finish my drink. Look, Peter isn’t anywhere near there! I gotta have something strong in my system.”
They reluctantly obliged, watching you walk back over to your old-fashioned. Right below it on the bar was a small sticky note, scribbled with writing.
Coat closet, five minutes.
a/n: like, comment, reblog, and let me know your thoughts. i'll see you all tomorrow for tuesday's prompts <3
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sambuckyslay · 46 minutes ago
omg wait WHAT FIGHT. What is going on. I leave tumblr just for one day, I log back in and... a sambucky fight? in cap 4? where did that even come from, I FEEL SO CONFUSED WHY CAN'T WE HAVE NICE THINGS
Why can’t we have nice things indeed. *Glares daggers at Marvel*
But yeah, recently this article came out where an ‘insider’ drops a few plot points that are supposed to be in Cap 4, one of which is Sam and Bucky fighting. I’m taking it with a grain of salt because it’s still SO early and these things can change a lot (writes and rewrites, whole plot points changing, characters being added and dropped) by the time the actual movie comes out. 
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angeloniaa · 48 minutes ago
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that way
pairing: roommate!sam wilson x fem!reader
main masterlist | series playlist
summary: you don’t know what label to fall under anymore. were you his roommate, friend or his lover?
warning: kissing, allusions to heartbreak & friends with benefits, one-sided love. (i will be adding more specific ones throughout the series)
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chapter one: “run me in circles, like you always do.”
chapter two: “mess with me on purpose, so i’ll hang onto you.”
chapter three: “i know what you mean when you act like that.”
more chapters to be added…
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jen27ny · an hour ago
Prompt idea: Peter P takes videos of the avengers doing stupid things like playing monopoly or fighting over the last cookie and saves them to a flash-drive. One day they find the flash-drive. Btw I love all your posts
Earth’s Dumbest Heroes is one the most popular podcasts there is, especially since Peter started inviting the other Avengers as his guests (the episode with Sam and Bucky bickering so much even Peter can’t get a word in has the most views by far, which Tony took as a challenge to come up with an idea that will catapult him to spot number one). Every single week when a new episode goes up, it blows up the internet, able to push even the most serious news of the day into the background for just a few minutes.
However, when the video appears on the website, it actually breaks the internet.
~*~*~
The video starts with shaky footage before it stills enough that you can see Spider-Man in the middle of the screen, holding what’s probably his phone with one hand, waving with the other. His style choice is interesting – as in it’s a mismatched hoodie and sweatpants plus his Spider-Man mask to keep his identity.
“Hi, everyone! It’s me, your favorite bug boy with your favorite podcast – wait, can I call this a podcast? Isn’t this more like a vlog? Meh, we figure the details out later. Anyway, this is a very special episode because, well, I read your comments – love them, by the way, thank you so much! – and there are always some of you who think I’m making all of this up. That there’s no way these literal superheroes behave like idiots.”
Spider-Man sighs dramatically.
“Well, I tried to tell you all again and again and doesn’t seem to work. But what that’s saying? A picture is worth more than a thousand words?”
Spider-Man winks and then there’s a jump cut.
The footage is a weird angle, making it quite obvious that the video was taken in secret, but you can see a kitchen. The clock on the wall shows 3:52 am and it’s pitch-black outside. In the middle of the kitchen island sits Hawkeye, wearing cartoon pajamas and eating cereals. One can only speculate if he’s actually awake or asleep.
“You good?” comes the voice of Spider-Man from off camera. Without looking up, Hawkeye nods, taking another spoon of cereals. “Are you… eating Froot Loops with… coffee?” Another nod. “Why?”
“We’re out of milk,” is the only answer he gets before Hawkeye starts slurping the cereal coffee.
Jump cut.
They’re in a lab with Iron Man in a half-assembled suit standing in the middle of the room, typing something away on a holo-screen. A robot rolls over to him, carrying something in its claw.
“What do you want?” Iron Man asks, not unkindly, and turns towards the robot.
Before he even knows what’s happening, the robot sprays him with a fire extinguisher.
There’s hysterical laughter in the background.
Jump cut.
War Machine, the new Captain America, and the White Wolf are sitting on a couch, their entire attention on a tv screen off camera. There are faint noises from the movie playing, and the three men look like they’re in absolute agony. Tears are in their eyes as they sit on the couch as stiff as boards, Captain America even biting down on his fist to keep still. War Machine sniffs as the White Wolf tries to subtly wipe away a tear from the corner of his eye. Suddenly, the music rises and all of them let go a shocked gasp, looking even more distressed now.
War Machine looks to his other side and his voice almost breaks as he asks: “Why the fuck did you make us think Big Hero 6 is a fun movie?”
Jump cut.
Back in the lab; Iron Man is working on something on his work bench, a mask over his face as he’s welding something.
Sparks starts flying around.
At a speed that seems way too fast with all the stuff lying around, the robot from before rolls back into the frame and immediately starts dousing him again.
Jump cut.
The video only shows the ground, a foot and part of a leg.
“How many videos of DUM-E spraying Tony do you have?” Black Widow asks.
“Uhh… I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Really? You’re trying to play dumb? C’mon. Look who you’re talking to.”
A sigh. “You noticed?”
“You’re not exactly a spy, little spider. After this project, you should stick to swinging around, not making videos.”
“Wait, why does it sound like you’re not stopping me?”
“Because I’m not. They deserve it.”
A pause. “What did they do?”
“Ate the last of my Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.”
Jump cut.
Once again in the lab, but this time, Iron Man is already completely covered in the foam from the fire extinguisher. He is carrying one himself and there’s a puddle of foam in front of him, right next to the already familiar robot. “The one time there actually is a real fire and you’re still dousing me!”
The robot moves its claw up and down, looking more excited than guilty.
Jump cut.
The entire screen is filled with a not-that-great looking chocolate cake. In the background, there are two very familiar voices arguing.
“I can’t believe you did this!”
“I can’t believe you’re making such a big deal out of this!”
“It’s chocolate sauerkraut cake!”
“We had that cake all the time when we were younger! Sure, it was the Great Depression, but you never said no to it when my mom made it!”
“The difference being your mom actually knew how to bake, unlike you!”
There’s a shocked gasp and then the sound of something being thrown around.
Jump cut.
The doors of the lab open and Iron Man walks in. Of course, the robot appears at his side out of nowhere and sprays him with the fire extinguisher once more.
This time, Iron Man barely reacts, sighing deeply as his shoulder drop and he wipes some of the foam off his face before turning towards the robot. “Do you just think I’m this smoking hot or is this your new type of love language? Because I’m really at a loss for words here.”
The robot chirps excitingly.
Jump cut.
Spider-Man is back, chuckling lightly. “I hope this convinces you all that the same people who do their best to stop aliens from destroying Earth and humanity and whatever are also petty and childish and shouldn’t be left without someone to supervise. Which, by the way, you can apply for. The entry qualifications are that you’re able to stand this craziness and know how to hide veggies between food, because they’re honestly terrible at eating those. Anyway, I need to go hide now because they will hunt me down once they see this. Bye! See you all next week!”
The video cuts to black – but unbeknownst to Spider-Man, that isn’t the end of the video.
After a second, the video cuts back to the lab one last time. Iron Man is sitting in front of the camera, a towel around his neck as he looks like he had been doused one more time, bits of foam still stuck in his hair. Pointing at the camera, he smirks. “This is payback, kiddo. Don’t act like I don’t know who messed with DUM-E for this.”
A montage starts playing – dramatic and fast classical music with footage of Spider-Man’s fails, like falling from the ceiling, unable to unstuck himself from somewhere, shooting his webs in his own face, or sticking his webs to the wrong surface, cut to a matching pace. It finishes with a clip of the robot from before dousing Spider-Man who just fell from the ceiling of the lab.
Tag list: @joyful-soul-collector @sheabeeprime @spideyspeaches @zanderljones @jelly-pies @ftopbn @lost-lunar-wolf @peter-is-a-bean @a-moon-fairy @mrs-potts-stark @supernoetta @glorified-red @probablyprocrastinatingrightnow @thecrazymarvelfan @hatakehikari @aixabi @sublimedragonherohumanoid @bittersweetbeneath @vintervittrannerd @anarinette @always-loki @zetasaturno99 @sdottkrames @potter-turn-to-page-394 @doctordumblesstark @its-funnier-when-you-say-it @fangirl485 @gaycinnamonrollgirl @bettyadinnye @0adore0 @loveliestdisappointment @lunars--world @just-things-things @chaos-with-a-pen @onlyonepotatochip @dreamingtreees @liviemma @nightingalestakeflight @imwatermeloness @baloobird @randomfandomcheeto @hold-our-destiny @underoosandtonystank @peterparkeriswholesome
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galatially · an hour ago
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❝𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐬❞
❝A masterlist for all of my stories where my Marvel faves are throwing it back to university era❞
*stories to be added as they’re posted
want u around - erik stevens
world we created - thor odinson
stay the night - bucky barnes
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shieldforbucky · an hour ago
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“i took Bucky out to the theme park and we’ve just got back. I think it’s safe to say Alpine missed their daddy. They haven’t let go of Buck’s arm all night” -Sam Wilson AKA Captain America via his instagram.
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wlnterfalcon · an hour ago
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no because the way sam and bucky were always meant to be together according to the sacred timeline . how they always find their way back to each other no matter what universe
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starkravinghazelnoots · an hour ago
I read a fic once of Sam/May and absolutely loved the idea of Sam acquiring his least favorite child coworker as a nephew. I have abandoned that with one look at your Sarah/May blurb. Sam would know what he was getting into if he was the one who knew may, but the idea of Sarah seeing someone wonderful for a long time and she is always talking about May and maybe mentioning her kid…Sam finally convinces her to do dinner with him and the Parkers…Peter+Sam see each other and are like “so are we gonna have to throw hands here and now or not?” But! Sarah doesn’t know that Peter is Spider-Man so there is seemingly no reason for her brother to know her new potential nephew. The drama. The tension. The ‘Sam and Peter giving each other the Most shovel talk’. Sarah telling everyone her fav superhero is spidey (because May lives in queens and he volunteers for her charity work 🥺) and gives Sam an aneurism. Sarah visiting our captain at the compound and sees peter.
ANON YOUR M I N D!! i didn't follow this route in my upcoming sarahmay // sambucky fic but this... i love this idea so much... would you be okay with me writing a ficlet (or two or more dksljahjsk) based off this concept? i am OBSESSED with the shenanigans this presents hdhjsdjshs
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shieldforbucky · an hour ago
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“look at me and my birdboy. He took me out to a theme park today for our anniversary. He said that i’d love all the rides, don’t tell him this but he’s still my favourite ride” -Bucky Barnes via Instagram.
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