#SPECTRAVISION

[found-in-retro-game-mags]

Tapeworm

“Nothing’s more fun than having a Tapeworm” (Electronic Games #11, Jan. 1983)

#tapeworm #spectravision #atari 2600 #retro gaming #video game ads

[flojocabron]

E.T. wasn't the only one to blame. This game: Chase The Chuck Wagon, can also represent the over-saturatation and gaming glut that led to the videogame crash of 1983. It was a dog food mail-in promo. It was everything that could and did go wrong when our hobby started out as a fad. It's a good thing we learned our lesson and implemented quality control.......right?

#video games #videogame history #atari #atari 2600 #chase the chuckwagon #dog food #videogame promo #mail in promo #videogame crash of 1983 #ralston purina company #spectravision

[atariforce]

The Merry Wives of Windsor by Douglas Blanchard

#Atari #Atari 2600 #Spectravision #William Shakespeare #The Merry Wives of Windsor #parody #illustration #graphic design #video games #retro gaming #Douglas Blanchard

[paramount1964]

Is it Really Important to Use a Colour Matching Booth?

A widely used testing equipment in the Textile Industry is a Colour Matching booth also known as a Colour Matching Cabinet or LightBox. It creates a specialized viewing environment that is used to assess and compare colors accurately. These cabinets are frequently used by textile industry professionals to conduct color assessment, color matching, and quality control processes. 

In this blog post, we will briefly discuss about the Colour Matching Cabinet, its application, the industries where it is commonly used and the benefits it has. So, lets dive into it! 

What is a Colour Matching Booth?  

A Colour Matching Booth/Cabinet that is used to perform colour matching or colour assessments consists of a light source, viewing area, and standardized lighting conditions. The light source is carefully calibrated to provide specific colour temperatures such as F11 (store lighting) or D65 (daylight) that are frequently used in the industry. With the help of these standardized lighting conditions textile professionals can assess colours under reproducible and consistent illumination, omitting the variability caused by various lighting environments. The design structure of the viewing area in the colour matching cabinet is designed to reduce external light interference, that ensures to provide a regulated environment for colour evaluation. The interior walls and surfaces are usually made of neutral grey or other non-reflective materials to prevent colour distortion. 

Key Industries where a Colour Matching Booth is Used 

Below, are the major industries where a Colour Matching Booth is widely used: 

Textile Industry 

Leather Products Industry  

Fashion Institutes  

Footwear Industry 

Dye House Testing Industry 

Printing Testing Industry

About Paramount’s Colour Matching Booth – The SPECTRAVISION™ i9 6L (Digital) 

Paramount SPECTRAVISION™ i9 6L (Digital) is a Next-Generation colour matching booth used to evaluate colours with most advanced features. It provides standardized and controlled environment for visual assessment of colour adhering to British/European norms. It is suitable for all applications where there is a requirement to maintain colour consistency and ensure high-quality standards.  

It allows a person to evaluate colour samples under different light sources such as: - 

• Artificial Daylight (D-65) / D-50 (Graphic) / F-10 

• Cool White Light (CWF) / F-2 

• TL-84 Light - Tri phosphor fluorescent Light (Point of Sale) / F-11 

• Tungsten Filament Light (Domestic Light Matching) / A 

• Ultraviolet Black Light (For Whites & Fluorescent Dyes)

Salient Features of the SpectraVision™ i9 6L (Digital) 

Next Generation Colour Matching Booth to evaluate colours in Textile/ Leather/ Artificial Leather/ Toys/ Automotive/ Inks/ Cosmetics/ Paper & Packaging Industry 

Has 6 standardized light sources: D-65, CWF, LED POS 4000K, TL-84, UVB, INCA 

Latest Microprocessor based Programmable Controller with Feather Touch Controls 

Auto sequencing of Lights for hands-free operation 

Individual Hour meter for each light with Auto Message for Servicing 

Interior Colour Neutral Grey (Munsell N7) meets all International Standards 

Supplied Complete with a fixed table with 45° observation angle 

Complete with 4 Grey Magnets for fixing samples 

Supplied complete with Inspection & Calibration Certificate (Traceable to NPL) 

Accurate & Repeatable Results and Adherence to National & International Standards 

Technical Specifications of the SpectraVision™ i9 6L (Digital) 

A. LIGHT SOURCES (ILLUMINANTS) 

1. Artificial Daylight Lamps (D-65) : 2 No. 

2. Tungsten Filament Lamps (Inc A Lamps): 1 No. 

3. Cool White Fluorescent Lamp (CWF): 1 No.

4. Tri phosphor Fluorescent Lamp (TL-84): 1 No. 

5. Ultra-Violet Black Lamp: 1 No. 

6. Ultra Lume – 3000 (U-30) (TL-83): 1 No. 

B. COLOR TEMPERATURE (ILLUMINANTS) 

1. D-65 LIGHT: 6500 K (Average North Sky Day Light) 

2. CWF LIGHT: 4150 K (Typical Store/Office Lighting) (Wide Band Fluorescent) USA 

3. TL-84 LIGHT: 4100 K (Commercial Fluorescent) EUROPE 

4. INCA LIGHT: 2856 K (Typical Home / Accent Lighting) UK/FRANCE) 

5. U.V.B. LIGHT: Ultra -Violet Black Light (UV) 

6. U-30 LIGHT: 3000 K (Commercial Fluorescent) USA 

C. SPECIFICATIONS 

1. Mains Supply: 220V, 50 Hz (Single phase) 

2. Hour Totalizer: 9999.59 Hours, L/C: 1min 

3. Overall Dimensions: 1190 mm x 970 mm x 670 mm, 27 Inch x 22.5 Inch x 22.5 Inch 

4. Net Weight of the Instrument: 23 kg (50.6 Lb) 

To know more about Paramount’s SpectraVision ™ i9 6L click here. 

Benefits of using the Paramount’s SPECTAVISION ™ i9 6L  

The benefits of using Paramount’s SPECTRAVISION™ i9 6L (Digital) are listed below: 

1. Precise Colour Assessment: It provides a regulated environment with standardised lighting conditions, eliminating any external factors that can distort colour perception. This allows accurate colour assessment and ensures consistent results across different lighting conditions. 

2. Quality Control: With the help of the Spectravision™ i9 6L, textile manufacturers can ensure that the colour of their products meet the specific requirements and standards. 

3. Cost Efficiency: Using this lightbox enables more efficient and faster colour evaluation by eliminating the need for recurring colour adjustments, thus saving time and minimizing production costs. By detecting colour discrepancies at an early stage, textile manufacturers can eliminate expensive errors and reduce unwanted waste. 

4. Colour Uniformity: It also facilitates accurate colour matching, which is vital when manufacturing products that require consistency. This further makes sure that the colours are unvarying across different materials, batches, or production locations, reducing the risk of any colour variations that could be unacceptable to customers. 

5. Enhanced Customer Satisfaction: The implementation of precise colour assessment, quality control and colour uniformity that can be achieved using this Spectravision equipment can in turn result in improved and great level of customer satisfaction.  

6. Compliance with Standards: Many industries such as food, textile, automotive, footwear, and pharmaceuticals have rigid regulations regarding colour consistency and product labelling. Using the Colour matching cabinet helps manufacturers to comply with these strict regulations and avoid any legal issues. 

The benefits outlined above clearly illustrate the key importance that using a colour matching booth holds. 

#color matching cabinet #color matching booth #color assessment #color evaluation #spectravision #qualityassurance #testingequipments #paramountinstruments

[milfweirdal]

Way back when I was just a little bitty bwoy, livin' in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait Shop... You know the place. Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was juuuust PEACHY! Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning, my mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast. D'ohhhh, BIG BOWL OF SAUERKRAUT! EVERY SINGLE MORNIN'! It was driving me crazy! I said to my mom, I said "Hey, mom! What's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother. She just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train, and she leaned right down next to me, and she said... (deep breath) "IT'S GOOD FOR YOOOUUU!!" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth and force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old! That's when I swore that someday, someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place, where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer, and the towels are oh-so-fluffy! Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long and anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel! (inhale) WOCKA WOCKA DOO DOO YEAH! well let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true, because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest to see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt. I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize! That's right, a first class one-way ticket - tooo Alllllllllllllllllllbuquerque! Alllllllllllllllllllbuquerque! Oh yeah. You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before, and I gotta tell ya, it was really great! Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor, and the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time, the flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts, and the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore, and, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out and we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside and the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died!!......Except for me~ You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up! And my seat back in the full upright position, had my tray table up, And my seat back in the full upright position, had my tray table up, and my seat back in the full upright position! Ahahahaha! Ahahaha. Hahhhhh.... So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage! I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days! ....Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag and my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball and my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel! But finally I arrived at the world famous... Albuquerque Holiday Inn! Where the towels are oh-so-fluffy! And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna! It's OK, they're clean! Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C and I turned on the SpectraVision and I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow that I love so very-very-much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door. (BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG) Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer. "Who is it~?" There's no answer! "WHO IS IT!" They're not sayin' anything! So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected: It's some big fat h***********e with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril. Oh man, I hate it when I'm right. So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel, and I'm like "Hey, you can't have that! That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me!" And he's like "Tough!" And I'm like "Give it!" And he's like "Make me!" And I'm like, "'Kay!" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus and I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows and I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation yesindeedyoubetterbelieveit (WHEEZE) And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook, and twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice. And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said! It said "If you'd like to make a call~ please hang up and try again~ If you need help, hang up and then dial your oooooooperator~ If you'd like to make a call~ please hang up and try again~ If you need help, hang up and then dial your oooooooperator~" In Alllllllllllllllllllbuquerque! Alllllllllllllllllllbuquerque! Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel. But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest - I would not sleep for an instant - until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice. But first, I decided to buy some donuts. So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop, and I walked on up to the guy behind the counter and he says "Yeeeeeah, whaddaya waaaant?!" (brief but sick guitar solo) I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "Nawwww, we're outta glazed donuts!" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "Nawwww, we're outta jelly donuts!" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "Nawwww, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts!" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "NAWWWW, WE'RE OUTTA CINNAMON ROLLS!" I said "YOU GOT ANY APPLE FRITTERS?" He said "NAWWWW, WE'RE OUTTA APPLE FRITTERS!" I said "YOU GOT ANY BEAR CLAWS?" He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check." (slightly longer sick guitar solo) "NAAWWWW, WE'RE OUTTA BEAR CLAWS!" I said "Well, in that case.... in that case, what do you have?" He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving crazed weasels." I said "OK, I'll take that." So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out and they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over (HAHNGHNNAsnortHNAGHGNH) oh man, they were just going nuts! They were tearin' me apart! ....You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started goin' through my head. I believe it went a little something like this: D'OHHHHH!! GET EM OFF ME GET EM OFF ME! OHHHHHH! NO GET 'EM OFF GET EM OFF! OH, OH GOD, OH GOD, OHHH GET EM OFF ME, OH OHH GOD, AH AHHHH AHHHHHHH! I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face, wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' like a constipated wiener dog. And as luck would have it, that's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams. ~Her name was Zelda~. She was a calligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches. I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me. She said "Hey - you've got weasels on your face." That's when I knew it was true love! We were inseparable after that. Aww, we ate together, we bathed together, we even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss. The world was our burrito. So we got married and we bought us a house and had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly! Oh, we were so very very very happy, awww yeahh. But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me... She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said "Whooooaaaa, hold on now, baby! I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment!" So we broke up and I never saw her again, but that's just the way things go - In Alllllllllllllllllllbuquerque! Alllllllllllllllllllbuquerque! Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream. That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler! I even made Employee of the Month after I put out that grease fire out with my face. Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that. I was gettin' a lot of attiTOOD. Okay, like one time, I was out in the parking lot tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil - when I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself! So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just roollllls his eyes and goes "Nooooo, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw!" So I did. And then he gets all indignant on me! He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic!" Well, that's just great. How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud! Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname - Torso-Boy! So what's he complaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote... This guy comes up to me on the street and he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days! Well, I knew what he meant, but just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein! And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over, and I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming, AAAAARGH, OHHH, AAAGGGH, you know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation. Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know? Anyway, um. ....Um. Where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought... Uh. Well, uh, okay, anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it but... I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is - I. HATE. SAUERKRAUT! That's all I'm really tryin' to say. And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up and find yourself in an existential quandary, full of loathing and self-doubt and wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence, at least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours... there's still a little place... called Alllllllllllllllllllbuquerque! Alllllllllllllllllllbuquerque! Albuquerque, Albuquerque! Albuquerque, Albuquerque! Albuquerque, Albuquerque! Albuquerque, Albuquerque! I said A (A!) L (L!) B (B!) U (U!).... QUERQUE! (QUERQUEEE!!) Albuquerquealbuquerque albuquerquealbuquerque albuquerquealbuquerque albuquerquealbuquerque albuquerquealbuquerque albuquerquealbuquerque albuquerquealbuquerque albuquerquealbuquerque ALLLLBUQUEEEEERQUEEEEEEEEEEE ........(laughing) (drumsolo) (belch) (final sick guitar solo)

#oh my god i cant believe it let me post this #sorry to anyone who sees this on their dash #long post #weird al shitposting

[homolegs]

Way back when I was just a little bitty boy

Living in a box under the stairs

In the corner of the basement of the house

Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop

You know the place

Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy

Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning

My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast

Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut

Every single morning

It was driving me crazy

I said to my mom

I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?"

And my dear, sweet mother

She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train

And she leaned right down next to me

And she said "It's good for you"

And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth

And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut

Until I was twenty six and a half years old

That's when I swore that someday

Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place

Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer

And the towels are oh so fluffy

Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long

And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel

Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah

Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true

Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest

To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt

I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize

That's right, a first class one-way ticket to

Albuquerque

Albuquerque

Oh yeah

You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before

And I gotta tell ya, it was really great

Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women

With excruciatingly severe body odor

And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time

The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts

And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore

And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out

And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside

And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died

Except for me

You know why?

'Cause I had my tray table up

And my seat back in the full upright position

Had my tray table up

And my seat back in the full upright position

Had my tray table up

And my seat back in the full upright position

Ah ha ha ha

Ah ha ha

Ah

So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage

I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days

Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag

And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball

And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel

But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn

Where the towels are oh so fluffy

And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna

It's OK, they're clean

Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C

And I turned on the SpectraVision

And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow

That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door

Well now, who could that be?

I say "Who is it?"

No answer

"Who is it?"

There's no answer

"Who is it?"

They're not sayin' anything

So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected

It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril

Oh man, I hate it when I'm right

So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel

And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that"

"That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me"

And he's like "Tough"

And I'm like "Give it"

And he's like "Make me"

And I'm like "'Kay"

So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus

And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows

And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation

Yes indeed, you better believe it

And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook

And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice

And you know what it said?

I'll tell you what it said

It said

"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"

"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"

"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"

"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"

In Albuquerque

Albuquerque

Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel

But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest

I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice

But first, I decided to buy some donuts

So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop

And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter

And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?"

I said "You got any glazed donuts?"

He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts"

I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?"

He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts"

I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"

He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts"

I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?"

He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls"

I said "You got any apple fritters?"

He said "No, we're outta apple fritters"

I said "You got any bear claws?"

He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check"

"No, we're outta bear claws"

I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?"

He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"

I said "OK, I'll take that"

So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out

And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over

Oh man, they were just going nuts

They were tearin' me apart

You know, I think it was just about that time

That a little ditty started goin' through my head

I believe it went a little something like this

Doh

Get 'em off me

Get 'em off me

Oh

No, get 'em off, get 'em off

Oh, oh God, oh God

Oh, get 'em off me

Oh, oh God

Ah, aah, aah

I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face

Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin'

Like a constipated wiener dog

And as luck would have it

That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams

Her name was Zelda

She was a calligraphy enthusiast

With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches

I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me

She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face"

That's when I knew it was true love

We were inseparable after that

Aw, we ate together, we bathed together

We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss

The world was our burrito

So we got married and we bought us a house

And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly

Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah

But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me

She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?"

I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby"

"I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment"

So we broke up and I never saw her again

But that's just the way things go

In Albuquerque

Albuquerque

Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me

Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream

That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler

I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face

Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that

I was gettin' a lot of attitude

Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot

Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil

When I see this guy Marty

Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself

So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"

And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes

"No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"

So I did

And then he gets all indignant on me

He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic"

Well, that's just great

How was I supposed to know that?

I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud

Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy

So what's he complaining about?

Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote

This guy comes up to me on the street

And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days

Well, I knew what he meant

But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein

And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over

And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?"

But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming

You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation

Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know?

Anyway, um, um, where was I?

Kinda lost my train of thought

Uh, well, uh, OK

Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it

But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is

I hate sauerkraut

That's all I'm really tryin' to say

And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up

And find yourself in an existential quandary

Full of loathing and self-doubt

And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence

At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that

Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours

There's still a little place called

Albuquerque

Albuquerque

Albuquerque, Albuquerque

Albuquerque, Albuquerque

Albuquerque, Albuquerque

Albuquerque, Albuquerque

I said "A" (A)

"L" (L)

"B" (B)

"U" (U)

"Querque" (querque)

Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque

Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque

Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque

Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque

Albuquerque

Source: LyricFind

I AINT READIN ALLAT 😈🙏

[firespirited]

Speaking of Elijah Wood, he's creative director for SpectraVision which makes some fascinating psychological thrillers and horror films. He’s got a wide variety of work across genres: often quirky offbeat stuff.

https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000704/#producer

#elijah wood

[j-jaks]

Way back when I was just a little bitty boy

Living in a box under the stairs

In the corner of the basement of the house

Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop

You know the place

Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy

Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning

My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast

Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut

Every single morning

It was driving me crazy

I said to my mom

I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?"

And my dear, sweet mother

She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train

And she leaned right down next to me

And she said "It's good for you"

And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth

And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut

Until I was twenty six and a half years old

That's when I swore that someday

Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place

Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer

And the towels are oh so fluffy

Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long

And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel

Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah

Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true

Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest

To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt

I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize

That's right, a first class one-way ticket to

Albuquerque

Albuquerque

Oh yeah

You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before

And I gotta tell ya, it was really great

Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women

With excruciatingly severe body odor

And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time

The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts

And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly ShoreAnd, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out

And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside

And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died

Except for me

You know why?

'Cause I had my tray table up

And my seat back in the full upright position

Had my tray table up

And my seat back in the full upright position

Had my tray table up

And my seat back in the full upright position

Ah ha ha ha

Ah ha ha

Ah

So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage

I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days

Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag

And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball

And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel

But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn

Where the towels are oh so fluffy

And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna

It's OK, they're clean

Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C

And I turned on the SpectraVision

And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow

That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door

Well now, who could that be?

I say "Who is it?"

No answer

"Who is it?"

There's no answer

"Who is it?"

They're not sayin' anything

So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected

It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril

Oh man, I hate it when I'm right

So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel

And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that"

"That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me"

And he's like "Tough"

And I'm like "Give it"

And he's like "Make me"

And I'm like "'Kay"

So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus

And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows

And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation

Yes indeed, you better believe it

And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook

And twenty seconds laterI heard a familiar voice

And you know what it said?

I'll tell you what it said

It said

"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"

"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"

"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"

"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"

In Albuquerque

Albuquerque

Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel

But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest

I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice

But first, I decided to buy some donuts

So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop

And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter

And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?"

I said "You got any glazed donuts?"

He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts"

I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?"

He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts"

I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"

He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts"

I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?"

He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls"

I said "You got any apple fritters?"

He said "No, we're outta apple fritters"

I said "You got any bear claws?"

He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check"

"No, we're outta bear claws"

I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?"

He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"

I said "OK, I'll take that"

So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out

And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over

Oh man, they were just going nuts

They were tearin' me apart

You know, I think it was just about that time

That a little ditty started goin' through my head

I believe it went a little something like this

Doh

Get 'em off me

Get 'em off me

Oh

No, get 'em off, get 'em off

Oh, oh God, oh God

Oh, get 'em off me

Oh, oh God

Ah, aah, aah

I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my faceWavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin'

Like a constipated wiener dog

And as luck would have it

That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams

Her name was Zelda

She was a calligraphy enthusiast

With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches

I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me

She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face"

That's when I knew it was true love

We were inseparable after that

Aw, we ate together, we bathed together

We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss

The world was our burrito

So we got married and we bought us a house

And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly

Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah

But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me

She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?"

I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby"

"I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment"

So we broke up and I never saw her again

But that's just the way things go

In Albuquerque

Albuquerque

Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me

Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream

That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler

I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face

Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that

I was gettin' a lot of attitude

Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot

Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil

When I see this guy Marty

Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself

So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"

And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes

"No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"

So I did

And then he gets all indignant on me

He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic"

Well, that's just great

How was I supposed to know that?

I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loudBesides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy

So what's he complaining about?

Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote

This guy comes up to me on the street

And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days

Well, I knew what he meant

But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein

And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over

And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?"

But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming

You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation

Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know?

Anyway, um, um, where was I?

Kinda lost my train of thought

Uh, well, uh, OK

Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it

But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is

I hate sauerkraut

That's all I'm really tryin' to say

And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up

And find yourself in an existential quandary

Full of loathing and self-doubt

And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence

At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that

Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours

There's still a little place called

Albuquerque

Albuquerque

Albuquerque, Albuquerque

Albuquerque, Albuquerque

Albuquerque, Albuquerque

Albuquerque, Albuquerque

I said "A" (A)

"L" (L)

"B" (B)

"U" (U)

"Querque" (querque)

Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque

Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque

Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque

Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque

Albuquerque

Uh, yes

[retrocgads]

UK 1983

#UK1983 #PROTEK COMPUTING LTD. #HARDWARE #CONTROLLERS #SPECTRUM #PROTEK JOYSTICK INTERFACE #SPECTRAVISION #SPECTRAVISION JOYSTICK

[vgprintads]

‘Gangster Alley’

[2600] [USA] [MAGAZINE] [1982]

Spectravision's corporate slogan -- "Meets the challenge" -- was certainly backed up with Gangster Alley, an entertaining target shooting contest that's patterned after a non-electronic game that was popular in commercial game parlors for many years. The game uses a cursor to move a gunsight around a playfield which depicts a many windowed, multi-story building. The object is to vanquish a nasty group of armed hoods whose heads keep popping up in the windows of the tenement-type building. Aim the joystick and fire with the button before they shoot you. Once in a while an innocent citizen appears in a window, and shooting such a bystander will cost you points.

It's pretty easy until you encounter Nitro Ed... that's the scary looking guy standing on the roof waving a bomb. Ed can't be wiped out by a hit, just disarmed momentarily. Plus, if he takes you out, it's game over. To add insult to injury, you get a full-screen image of Ed laughing at you.

Gangster Alley requires very fast reflexes and thus is probably aimed more for the younger generation of gamers who can better handle these video lowlifes. Still, it's a decent game to play for a few minutes at a time until you get lit up by Ed and are forced to watch him mock you... very funny, Spectravision. ~Keita Iida, Atari HQ

Source: Vidiot, October 1982 (Vol. 1, #1) || Internet Archive; scottithgames

#gaming #advertising #gangster alley #atari 2600 #shooters #first-person #spectravision #united states #video games #1982

[darth-azrael]

#retrogaming #Atari #Atari 2600 #Spectravision #Gangster Alley

[regretadayagain]

DAY 8: Porky’s Revenge

I grew up in a golden age of video games. 

It was SO far back that the shitty cameras we had at the time couldn’t even capture its true splendor.

And while the local Diamond Jim’s or Aladdin’s Castle provided refuge for hundreds of awkward 80′s kids, the true solution for the socially inept was in home gaming.

Specifically THIS gorgeous, woodgrain pile of crap.

Before Nintendo had a stranglehold on America’s unkempt youth, Atari was fucking KILLING it.

And when Atari’s stable of titles started rotting on the vine, they opened the party up to third-party vendors: Activision, Imagic, M-Network, Data Age, Spectravision, Epyx & a host of others.

Even toy companies like Parker Brothers & Mattel were getting in on the act.

And yes, you could say that most of these games were fucking HORRIBLE.

And you’d be right. 

Hell, look at Neal Schon’s face. Even HE knows this game’s a piece of shit.

To this day, I’m sure how ANY of these sprites are representative of either Journey OR their album “Escape.”

Wait minute.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh-kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. 

Regardless, I played the SHIT out of "Journey: Escape” because, well, THIS was as good as the gameplay got at the time.

Which proves that kids back then would give ANY GAME a chance. 

If they hated it, there were hundreds more games at Service Merchandise or K-Toy & Hobby to choose from, whether they were on shelves or marked down 75% in clearance jail.

Personally, I played a LOT of shitty games. And for reasons I’ve already covered, I was fine with my arsenal of video game trash.

Which is why I regret that I never played THIS on the Atari 2600:

Yeah, that’s not Photoshopped. That’s 100% real. 

(If you can’t stand Limey Dragon’s voice, just turn the sound down. His channel’s worth checking out, if only for his Let’s Play 2600 series.)

But yeah. This game’s fucking RIDIC. And it actually looks kind of fun. You know, in a 2600 way.

You play as Pee Wee.

Noooooooooo. Not THAT Pee Wee. THIS one:

You know, the one who never worked again.

And apart from the lameness of basing your video game’s default board on Frogger,

you’re essentially dodging & weaving Miss Ballbreaker

after spying on a pixelated shower scene,

while ALSO trying not to get caught by Porky.

I think.

Although Porky & Miss Ballbreaker pretty much look the same, except for their color & the fact that Porky might have a hat & abnormal gunt.

Still, there’s some pretty sweet pole-vaulting action that I’ve never seen in an Atari 2600 game.

Yeah, it’s sort of lame at times. And the graphics are piss-poor. But when you think about it, the source material could be accused of the same.

If anything, I would’ve played this a HELL OF A LOT MORE than ANY of those worthless Swordquest games.

But that’s a regret for ANOTHER day...

#RegretADayAgain #DAY 8 #regrets #Porky's #Atari 2600 #Activision #Imagic #M-Network #Data Age #Spectravision #Epyx #Nintendo #Service Merchandise #K-B Toys #Journey #Escape #Neal Schon #Parker Brothers #Mattel #Kool-Aid Man #Pee Wee #Frogger #Swordquest #Aladdin's Castle #Diamond Jim's #arcades

[willpottorff]

Inktober day 16: Reanimator (1985) Here we go the second half of my Inktobers start NOW! A little sad note though: we lost a lot of great people this year but I was really heartbroken to see Stuart Gordon pass away. He’s directed some of my favorite horror films of all time (including this bad boy) and I deeply miss his presence in the horror movie world. Sure the make up effects don’t exactly hold up on Reanimator (the cat puppet was actually played by an uncredited Lamb Chop) but this movie is so much fun, Jeffery Combs is fantastic to watch on screen dude! • • • • #art #illustration #artist #coloroutofspace #spectravision #niccage #horrormonster #comicart #monster #ink #inkbrush #tonepaper #nicholascage #creaturefromtheblacklagoon #universalmonsters #horror #artwork #horrorlife #creature #hplovecraft #artoftheday #horrorart #willpottorff #illustratorsoninstagram #illustrator #inktober #inktober2020 (at Chemical Dog Productions) https://www.instagram.com/p/CGaBIPjD6Fs/?igshid=bhibc34dbzmh

#art #illustration #artist #coloroutofspace #spectravision #niccage #horrormonster #comicart #monster #ink #inkbrush #tonepaper #nicholascage #creaturefromtheblacklagoon #universalmonsters #horror #artwork #horrorlife #creature #hplovecraft #artoftheday #horrorart #willpottorff #illustratorsoninstagram #illustrator #inktober #inktober2020

[atariforce]

Romeo and Juliet by Douglas Blanchard

#Atari #Atari 2600 #Spectravision #Romeo and Juliet #parody #illustration #graphic design #video games #retro gaming #Douglas Blanchard

[paramount1964]

Exploring the Key Lights under which the specimens are tested using the Color Matching Booth.

The Different types of lights that are used in the Color Matching Booth are vital as they ensure that there are reliable and precise #colorassessment and matching processes that are being followed. The various types of lights mimic the lighting conditions that materials are exposed to in real-world scenarios thus helping in gathering accurate data for consistent color representation.

Below, we have highlighted the #6 Key Lights that are used in the Color Matching Cabinet and their importance.

1. UVB Light - The Ultraviolet B light is a uniform light source that is used to reveal hidden characteristics of finishes and materials and provide valuable insights about any potential reaction to the UV exposure.

2. CWF Light - The Cool White Fluorescent light is a standardized light source used in the color matching booth as this light is widely used in indoor lighting conditions like offices.

3. D-65 Light - The D-65 light commonly known as Daylight is used in the light box as it closely mimics the Natural Daylight conditions in which textiles are most commonly assessed.

4. INCA Light - The Incandescent light ( INCA ) helps in simulating everyday lighting conditions to which products are exposed to, to evaluate their color consistency.

5. TL-83 Light - The Tri-Phosphor 83 light is a standardized lighting condition that mimics the typical indoor lighting conditions majorly found in retail spaces or offices.

6. TL-84 Light - The Tri-Phosphor 84 light is used in the color matching cabinet because of its wide application in retail and commercial settings evaluating the visual appeal of the products. This diverse range of lights plays a significant role in industries where color accuracy is essential, such as automotive, printing, and fashion as these specialized lights help in ensuring that the materials, products, and designs appear accurate and consistent thus resulting in maintaining the product quality and overall customer satisfaction.

#ColorMatching #ColorAssessment #Spectravision #ParamountInstruments #Lightsources #ColorMatchingCabinet #LightBox

[vazetti]

#80s #1983 #Spectravideo #SVI #SpectraVision #Computer #Computer games #retrotech #roger moore