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#SOMEONE HELP ME WITH THIS STUPID CRUSH
aitsuheart · 2 months
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people who believe "Soriku fans hate Kairi" is just so stupid
I personally like Kairi but she's not utilized much in canon material which is why I really enjoy some fanon or headcanon versions of her
And anyone who doesn't like her though I don't welcome
Hating characters who get in a way of ships is stupid
Also the belief that "soriku take her out" of the source material is also such a dumb take.
If you think that you have sadly misunderstood what some people were saying.
It's usually not relevant to her and I never understood the belief that Sora thinking about Riku or vice versa somehow relates to Kairi
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fleshdyke · 14 days
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#csa warning for tags#ughhh ik i was just talking abt this but man. Man. constantly bullied as a child + raped as a child is a brutal combo huh#completely irreversibly fucked up sense of intimacy. i dont want to have sex with anyone i dont care what ppl think of me looks wise but i#also care more than anything and want people to want me so bad#like when ur only experience with anyone at all finding you desirable is being raped at 6ish. fucks u up man#was constantly told by everyone i knew that i was undesirable from day fucking one. i was always the one ppl would dare their friends to#'ask out' bc everyone thought i was that bad. i never had those rumours of 'some boy likes you' without people laughing in the background#all of my friends. even the ones that were also weird kids and bullied etc etc always have stories of other kids having crushes on them or#whatever. and i just never had that. it feels like i missed out on something important#i want to be pursued by a guy i hate i want them to not leave me alone. i want to feel like im in danger. and i know how fucking disgusting#that is but i cant help it. like i feel like thats the only way im going to feel normal and wanted like theres not something inherently#wrong with me. and i know how dangerous that is but its not like it matters anyways bc still no one likes me at all.#and i know how stupid of a thing it is to obsess over like what am i 9 years old? but i just cant get it out of my head#like idk i feel like the only way im going to actually feel desirable at all is if someone tries to rape me again. or if i feel like i have#to worry about someone raping me again. i know i wouldnt feel that way if someone was like. nice about it.#bc if someone genuinely liked me and was a decent human being about it i wouldnt be able to see it as anything other than faking it for pit#i wouldnt be able to believe it. even if i wasnt waiting for them to drop the joke and start laughing at me i would always think it was jus#an act bc they feel bad for me. the only way i could ever think it's genuine and that i'm desirable at all is if someone sexually#harassed me. like idk how to explain it but thats the only way i could feel desirable at all#bc it's the only way i've ever been desirable. when i was a kid.#and it terrifies me so bad bc i know how fucking disgusting that is and how self destructive it is#but i still feel like i dont even have to really worry about being assaulted. bc i still believe im completely undesirable at my core.#i dont believe i could be desired so i dont believe i have to worry about being raped. bc no one would want to anyways#rambles#vent
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pomfiores · 6 months
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the nice thing about living at work being offline for chunks at a time is the people u used to really dislike seeing on the dash (by no one's fault, promise), it doesn't really bother you anymore when you see them pop up as recs or smth. like. neat. lol. it's nice! it's comforting. i feel like I've def moved on from things, its liberating.
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uzumakisasuke · 1 year
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dear diary tumblr. it's like he was created in a lab to torture me by ticking every one of my boxes except the "is single or poly" one
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theygender · 1 year
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My gf and I have talked about hypothetically opening up our relationship at some point in the future which would make me very happy as a polyamorous person, but I just realized that if that actually happens and I have to go back out on the dating scene I'm gonna have some trouble bc now that I'm more outwardly butch people are gonna expect me to make the first move and I have never made a first move in my entire life
In all of my relationships but two the first move was made by the other person, and I wasn't even the person who made the first move in the other two. In the first one the girl chickened out on her plans to ask me out and then our mutual friend who didn't realize that that had happened outed her by asking me what I said afterwards, and in the second one me and the other person both went to the same friend on the same day to talk about our crushes on each other and then she made us talk about our feelings
I met my current girlfriend on a dating app, and the first time she tried to ask me on a date she wanted to take me to the theater so she asked me if I had seen the new beauty & the beast movie and then instead of realizing that she was asking me on a date I said that I'd already seen it and gave her a negative review of the movie. And then when she asked me on a date again a few weeks later I had to ask to make sure it was a date when I got there 😭
...And that reminds me of another event in high school where a girl I liked took me to the mall and we walked around holding hands the entire time and then afterwards I had to get one of our mutual friends to ask her if it was supposed to be a date bc I was too nervous and also stupid 😭 Another girl that year asked me to skip class with her and told me that if I flashed my pretty smile at the teacher I could probably get away with it and I had to show the text to my friend to ask if she was flirting. I'm gonna die out there on my own 😭
#rambling#the friend i showed the message to was the same one i made ask the other girl if it was a date#and he didnt even answer he just raised his eyebrow and stared at me like 'really?'#god im just. remembering how stupid i was in high school now#there were two other crushes that i had who may have potentially liked me back and i may have even been told that by multiple people#but i was so deep in my self hatred and also stupid that i didnt think it was possible for them or anyone else to like me 😭#they both were friends of mine and they eventually stopped talking to me completely and i couldnt figure out why#and now i hope its not bc they they thought i was leading them on. bc i wasnt. i was just a massive idiot#you have to explicitly tell me that youre interested in me or want to go on a date or whatever or im not gonna get it#and tbh. that didnt even always work#my first major crush in high school was on a girl who told me directly multiple times that she was into me#but i was even DEEPER in my self hatred at that time#(and also only just figuring out how social interaction worked bc she was helping my autistic ass learn)#so i just. assumed it was a joke. bc no one could have possibly been interested in me and definitely not such an amazing person#i guess at least i have a scrap of self confidence now and im brave enough to ask for clarification now#and if i specifically ask someone on a date at least i would know for sure its a date?#and it could either be lame or cute but i could ask for permission to kiss them. it worked for my gf#i cant interpret signals for shit 😭#i dont even have a valid reason to be thinking about this right now lol its not like i have permission to date anyone else romantically yet#but ive been watching clone high with my gf and abe keeps misinterpreting joan directly saying that she wants him in increasingly dumb ways#and i just keep cringing bc i realized that that was me ahdjsksl....#only difference is in my case it was never bc i was ignoring them for someone else. it was ALWAYS bc i was an idiot#literally i would be there pining for them and every attempt they made would go right over my head#you have to be morosexual and very persistent to date me 😭 or tell a mutual friend whos very persistent ig lol#i know we are All useless lesbians but i think i deserve a medal or smth#ill hang it on my corkboard next to the souvenir that one of my crushes who i didnt think liked me back got for me in high school#which was a plastic license plate that said 'babygirl' on it bc that was her nickname for me 😅#god i really hope people didnt think i was leading them on. imagine someone thinking im a player flirting with a bunch of different girls#without ever making things official. when really if i found out for certain any of them were interested in me i would have died of shock 😭#and if we WERE in fact flirting i wouldnt have realized it. i was just SO scared and SO stupid 😭😭😭
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peniscat · 1 year
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:)
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imthatqueerkid · 1 year
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thatonedelusiongirl · 9 months
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i just found out that people who worship there teachers ( have attachment issues to them an are i love with them ) are actually hated 😭 it’s ok i’m good i mean it’s not like i started a tumblr page just to vent about my freshman year crush on my art teacher that hasn’t gone away ( an we are best friends now ) but like anyways yehhh
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mejomonster · 7 months
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Being on dating apps makes me wanna tear off my skin
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jadeneppy · 1 year
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Im feeling so gay and lonley in this McDonald's tonight
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dan-crimes · 1 year
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I was gonna say it's fucked up that ads are made into jokes and memes and is part of some humour but then I remembered that's exactly as it was when there were the same ads playing on TV constantly between shows so rlly nothing has changed besides ads being much more intrusive and annoying
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babydarkstar · 2 years
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oh god im slowly letting this crush consume me and i hate it so much i need to stop
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fabulouslygaybean · 2 years
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not too happy abt how some of the crowd acted but some folks on here r acting like everyone was fucking awful and that makes me so mad
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himborpheus · 2 years
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#i think i like someone new OGHHH#i’m happy without a relationship so i don’t know why i’ve been yearning so much recently#like it’s not even in a ‘i need someone else to keep me happy’ way if that makes sense??? I am just gay and a fool#they’re in a relationship n they seem unhappy in it but even if they weren’t i don’t think i’d pursue them bc i’m still not completely ovee#over my ex*#but they keep using lil heart emojis when mentioning me and just#they offered to learn coding to help me with a game i’m making and even offered to learn a whole new language n keep finding excuses to#message me and ik it’s just a friends thing i am just AHHHH#also i don’t know if they’re in a poly relationship or not bc they made a confession in a server i mod in about liking someone in my server#which i don’t think they know i can see#and i’m just like . Hmm . if they do like me i’m gonna talk to them about it but i’m not trying to pursue them at all atm i just hope#it’s in a silly friend way oof i wouldn’t be against it if they were single or their bf is cool with it bc i’m poly But#I am also still recovering from a breakup and i need some time to myself bc ppl have been toying my feelings way too much recently Haha#IT DOESNT HELP THEY FUCKING PLAY THE BASS WHICH IS JUST#GOD#i have had way too many crushes on nb bass players#n they live near me n likke the riddler n GOD……#they also sent me a playlist so i can rec them music bc i asked I am so stupid i can’t catch feelings for them
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blkjackalz · 5 months
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clawxbite · 8 months
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nvm now im thinking about that one time a guy i had a crush on came into my room to show off his new straight razor and i could FEEL my pupils dilate with how excited i got i didnt say ANYTHING and he was just sighed like "im not fucking you with the knife" (what he did not know is that i was actually imagining fucking HIM with the knife.)
he was so unwell and he made me so unwell. to the point i was really considering just reaching over and putting my smokes out on his tongue just in general when we were hanging out or just randomly stepping on his cock or something i dont really like brats but he was the EXACT type of brat that gets me infinitely riled up. i couldnt be in the same room with him without imagining him gagging on my dick or whimpering from burns or tying him up and cutting him open slowly. you know how it is.
#he wouldnt have consented to any of that bc he told me he didnt want to fuck me/wasnt attracted to me#bc i look like a kid 😑 fyi i am 2.5 weeks older than him. im jist 4'10 and also he mostly only fucked ppl 40+#which like faiiirrr but i was still so down bad i couldnt help it#to make matters worse everytime we got drunk together he would tell me he was in love with me and set me on his lap and cuddle and make out#anyway ya i know it wasnt healthy hence past tense he got a gf with kids a few years back and i hear he quit drinking (as much) but point i#im not still in contact#actually man. that entire like 6mo or so was WILD#bc there was a girl HE was down bad for. well an adult woman w 6 kids. and i was super jealous. right so im like okay#i gotta be mature abt this. i will befriend HER and this will fix me (has worked for me in the past except the other time i did it#i wound up with feelings for my at-the-time-crush's at-the-time-partner. and still do like 4 years later. coughs. anyway#so i befriended this lady. and like he was harassing her full on following her around like a puppy refusing to leave her alone etc#EVENTUALLY it got to the point of him screaming at her at work abt sleeping with other guys#the moment that FULLY snapped me outta that stupidity was when the 3 of us were drinking in his (heated) pool#for our birthdays (all in may) and said hed off himself if she wouldnt fuck him#genuinely came the closest i ever have to killing someone that night bc she ended up going back inside early#and i was just like man he sucks. well people drown all the time swimming while drunk. and he DID just loudly announce he was#gonna kill himself.....#but i do think there was cameras. also several other logistical problems but man.#anyway i got over it by making out w the girl (sloppy drunk style in a bar. she shoved me against a wall 🥺)#and then i did much later fuck the guy she had been fucking at the time that guy-i-liked had been jealous of. for good measure#bite.bark
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