#Roasts

[bethanydelleman]

One sentence character roasts by Austen?

I have a little series of character roasts under the tag "she slays". There are one sentence roasts of Emma, Margaret Dashwood, Mr. Yates, and John & Fanny Dashwood.

However, I think this might be her best one sentence roast:

She was not a woman of many words; for, unlike people in general, she proportioned them to the number of her ideas; and of the few syllables that did escape her, not one fell to the share of Miss Dashwood, whom she eyed with the spirited determination of disliking her at all events.

So Mrs. Ferrars has an empty head and therefore doesn't speak. But then you realize that it's a back-handed compliment, because we also see people without ideas in their head who drone on and on (Mr. Collins for example). Which means that Austen has managed to roast a good portion of the human population in one sentence.

I must give an honourable mention to Dick Musgrove:

He had, in fact, though his sisters were now doing all they could for him, by calling him “poor Richard,” been nothing better than a thick-headed, unfeeling, unprofitable Dick Musgrove, who had never done anything to entitle himself to more than the abbreviation of his name, living or dead.

Burn!

Anyone else have a favourite?

#dick musgrove #question response #jane austen #mrs. ferrars #roasts #one line roasts #sense and sensibility #persuasion

[au-mashup-party]

Hey guys, I’m starting a series where characters of mine meet and absolutely roast each other to an oblivion!

Comment which character you wanna see roast each other!

#au characters roast each other series #undertale au #undertale multiverse #undertale blog #utmv #roasts

[oldshowbiz]

#Barry Goldwater #roasts #Dean Martin

[tastefullyoffensive]

20+ Curseless Insults For The Sophisticated, Yet Edgy

#insults #funny #roasts

[darcydoesfuckall]

1st Century AD 'Your Mum' Joke

Celcus (as quoted by Origen): If the mother of Jesus was beautiful, then the god whose nature is not to love a corruptible body, had intercourse with her because she was beautiful. It was improbable that the god would entertain a passion for her, because she was neither rich nor of royal rank, seeing no one, even of her neighbours, knew her. When hated by her husband, and turned out of doors, she was not saved by divine power, nor was her story believed. Such things, he says, have no connection with the kingdom of heaven. Translation: G-d just liked your mum for her tits.

Source

Origen's rebuttal

#christianity #celcus #origen #early christianity #roasts #I love being a youth group leader sometimes #The rabbit holes are delicious

[apastelgothsblog]

Take some pastel goth roasts

#pastel gotic #pastel goth #pastel #roasts #comebacks #pastel goth roasts

[throatgina-sausage]

#zodiac meme #zodiac memes #astrology memes #memes #astrology humor #zodiac humor #zodiac roast #roasts #funny astrology #aries memes #aries meme #just fire signs in general tbh #fire signs #incorrect zodiac #Zodiac Signs #aries astrology #astro meme #cardinal signs

[kinglyvibe]

bro stop talking you’re the type to eat marshmallows burned to the point of charcoal and say it “adds flavor”. the flavor is ASHES dipshit. dumbass

#roasts #literally #queue

[dualitytransformation]

their asses are NOT following the scientific method

HYDE CACKLED, not seeing how the insult could be applied to him. “Yeah, JEKYLL. Weren’t you paying attention in the seven thousand science classes you took?”

Jekyll simply sighed, unwilling to dignify Hyde with a response. But he DID address the roaster. “Yes, I MADE A MISTAKE. We’ve established that.”

#DHAKHDKS #this is beautiful #keep it going I dare you /hj #the embodiment of evil (hyde) #the good doctor (jekyll) #deathsbecome #answered asks #roasts

[duerede]

"the temporal displacement occurred exactly 1:20 AM and zero seconds" doc we can clearly see that you weren't tracking seconds which seems like a grievous tolerance of inaccuracy on your part as a would-be time traveler

#bttf #absolutely roasted him #roasts #if i was a death jam comic when this movie came out

[thediktatortot]

Smosh Funeral Roasts but it's the Stranger Things characters instead

Billy standing at the dais while squeezing his eyes making himself cry as Steve lays there in the fake coffin: "He broke his ankle in 1990, we found out it was done purposefully in an attempt to actually feel real pain for once."

Robin eating candy she finds in Steve's pockets as he lays there in the fake coffin: "This taste like, what it must feel like to be old. So like Eddie."

Max standing at the dais with mascara down her cheeks while Billy lays in the fake coffin: "In honor of Billy, I'm going to keep this short."

Gareth standing at the dais with Eddie in the fake coffin: "In all seriousness, Eddie is the funniest guy I know...He's also the funniest guy he knows."

#Smosh #Stranger Things #Roasts #I could do more but there's so many #Eddie Munson #Steve Harrington #Billy Hargrove #Max Mayfield #Robin Buckley #Gareth

[oldshowbiz]

#roasts #jerry lewis #Dean Martin

[naszircrockettsfwart]

Smg3 roasts Sonich

#smg3 #smg4 memes #roasts

[cheeriosarentplain]

Things my friends have said #2

Me: “I could be in a circus!”

Friend: “You could be the clown!”

#funny quotes #quotes #funny #school #roasts

[apastelgothsblog]

Welcome to my pastel goth blog I will help you and give you steps on how to be pastel goth!👻 have fun

#pastel goth #emocore #emo #gothcore #gothic #goth #pastel #kawaii #roasts

[justanechoflower]

Anyways Flowey, I have a question. Why are you such an idiot?

#undertale #art #small artist #flowey #undertale art #ask flowey #paper art #chara #ask chara #undertale fanart #ask blog #ask undertale #restarttheworld #no u #roasts