Tumgik
#REGARDLESS of the things they've said and done it IS sad
flamejob · 2 years
Text
genuinely so sad that everyone in msi is a massive pos who deserves the electric chair bc like i genuinely love that style of music and while there are plenty of other great bands in that genre none of them scratch the same itch soundwise. it would just be great if the bigotry wasn't present in the lyrics and streaming them didn't mean supporting a racist pedo
18 notes · View notes
noroi1000 · 10 months
Note
Can request of Gojo and Geto propose marriage to y/n. And I want to see the entire process from the engagement to the honeymoon and is your option if they move in together after or before.
Rings on fingers
Tumblr media
Paring: Husband Gojo x wife reader x Husband Geto
words:5k
Warnings: NSFW (oral sex, anal sex), pervert Gojo
Summary: Your boys have arranged a very nice evening for you. You didn't expect there was more to it. You didn't know until they got down on their knees in front of you with the box in their hand.
Tumblr media
The last thing you expected was your boyfriends asking you out on a fancy date.
You already had trouble choosing clothes to go to such a thing, but you managed.
They thought you looked beautiful.
And they looked really handsome in their black suits, too.
You wondered why Satoru wanted to go on such a dry date so much, when he always preferred to go to a restaurant to eat all those spiced and delicious treats that you can eat while you go. He loved food that he could get quickly and then eat. Even better when it's really tasty.
Suguru did not like large groups of people, as he was easily annoyed by the chaos and noise caused by people. And he hated jostling, too.
Therefore, for him, home-cooked food was the best, or ordering something. But he did not disdain going out to restaurants.
Besides, where they took you was beyond your expectations.
You didn't even know where you were going.
However, you were satisfied, regardless of the price they paid to get there.
It was very pleasant for you to watch how they, handsome-looking men smiled at you all the time.
Satoru with his bangs slightly swept to the side to make him look more combed. His narrow rectangular glasses on his nose as he looked at you with a smile.
Suguru with his man bun made of bangs and long black hair on his back.
Could they have looked prettier?
They dragged you to the observation deck when it was just you.
And suddenly Satoru stood in front of you, pressing your hips against the fence behind you.
He kissed you passionately. But that didn't make him forget that there was another man here who, seeing this, also became thirsty for your lips.
When the white-haired man pulled away, he let his friend do the same to you.
"Don't be shy. There's no one here but us." He said in your ear as he hugged you.
"I know. But I'm not used to us kissing in a place like this." You said, wrapping your arms around his neck. "Besides, is there any special occasion that you brought me here?"
They were quiet and smiled slightly at you.
"I don't remember today being December 7th or February 3rd being your birthday. Also, today is not my birthday either. If it's our relationship anniversary, I'm sorry... I forgot..."
"That's not it, baby." Satoru placed his fingers on your cheek, running his fingers over your skin.
"So what is it? something special? Should I prepare something too?" You asked. You were sad that you forgot something. After all, they prepared for you so much and you don't even know what occasion.
Or was there no chance at all?
You should be used to them spending money on unexpected things they want to do.
This is mostly what Satoru does, who is able to buy anything he thought he would like.
Also when it comes to grocery shopping.
In fact, this is the case with all your purchases.
However, there has never been a time when they have done so much for you.
You never wanted them to buy everything for you out of boredom. It was nice, but the simplest days with them were also like that.
However, that wasn't enough for them.
They wanted their girlfriend around all the time.
Because now you were their girlfriend. Both of them.
They've always wanted more.
"You shouldn't prepare anything." Suguru said as he pulled away from you.
"Everything that needed preparation is already prepared. You don't have to worry about that." Satoru added. "There's only one thing left for us to prepare."
"What?"
Suddenly you saw them both kneeling in front of you on one knee.
"We need to prepare something to be on your hand. Prepare our future together." Suguru said as he showed you the black shiny box that had been in his pants pocket before.
You stared at them with wide eyes.
"Will you be our wife?"
You looked at Satoru who said those words.
When you didn't answer, he started to smile.
"I wish I could call you wifey." He chuckled closing his eyes charmingly.
"You can't be serious. This is your next prank, right?"
"You think I'd play pranks on you? I know Satoru once proposed to you with an onion ring, but I'm not like him." The dark haired man laughed, opening the box in front of you.
Satoru's hands gripped yours.
"We didn't know if we should buy you two engagement rings or this one will be enough... But after all you are to be our wife..." He sent you a warm smile.
"You planned this from the beginning, didn't you?" muttered quietly.
"It's hard to create an ideal situation where neither of us feel awkward. And Satoru wanted it to be special."
"So what's the answer?"
The white-haired man's hand grabbed the ring in the box, and he pulled it out.
If he accidentally drops it, he would be able to use all his techniques to catch it.
You looked to the side, but Suguru's hand tugging yours lightly made you look at him.
A small, kind smile on his handsome face.
"I'll ask again, baby. Will you be our wife?"
            At this moment, a cool precious metal has been slid onto your finger.
Decorating your hand.
One ring symbolizing that there will be rings on your fingers that will connect you as more than boys and girls.
Your happiness with them will never end.
Because they want to continue being with you. May you always be together. As they are used to it. To never lose you. To never be apart. To always believe in yourself and trust that you are in your space. Side by side, in love. Ensuring that no one will take away this connection from you.
Life in marriage will be different for you than you have lived before.
But it will be just as happy.
You will be closer.
You will wake up in the same bed as you wake up together every day.
You will fall asleep in each other's arms.
You will spend time together.
Do everything together.
Live together.
As it was before.
However, with one big difference.
You will no longer be their girlfriend.
You will be their wife.
Everything will be the same.
But also everything will change so much.
A passage that turns to create a completely different road.
However, walking after that, you still feel the same.
However, there will be one change.
Rings will appear on your fingers.
"At 12am we go to choose decorations. At 4p.m. we have a cake tasting. And later..." said Suguru, standing at the table as he flicked through his phone where he had written appointments. "Why should we taste cakes? Can't we just pick our favorite?"
"I want to eat cake." Satoru laughed as he laid his head on your lap.
You were sitting on the couch with him. Well, now he was on the couch using your thighs as a pillow.
"We can buy a cake if you want."
"Each of us has a different taste. So I thought a cake tasting would be the perfect thing!" He said happily. "Each of us will choose our favorite. Maybe we can buy three?"
"Admit that you want to go there to eat cakes of various flavors with impunity." You patted his head smiling.
"A bit like that. I'm curious how they will taste. Besides, I want the best cake at my wedding. That's why I want to taste it, not choose blindly."
"...Fine." Your second fiancé muttered, looking further into his phone. "Tomorrow, the restaurant's food choices, as well as the guest list... Ugh..."
"I've booked a visit to the clothing store for the wedding." Your fiancé, who was lying on top of you, spoke up.
"When?"
"When did I order or when is it?"
"both."
"I called there yesterday and the deadline is after tomorrow."
"Okay, at least that won't be a problem. (y/n), do you want Shoko and the others to come with you? To help you choose?"
"I thought you'd come with me. Of course I would like the bridesmaids to be there when choosing a dress, especially since Mei really wanted it. But I would prefer you. This is going to be our wedding, so you guys help me choose." You gave him a small smile.
You looked at your hand with your engagement ring on it. The hand that was on the head of one of your fiancées.
"How about the suits for us, Satoru?"
"The same shop."
"Fine. What time?"
"1pm."
"It suits."
"Preparing to leave?" He asked.
The dark haired man looked at the white haired man.
He looked at the clock.
he sighed.
"Yeah... We're about to go. How I don't like spending all day in the city..."
Once you managed to get out from under Satoru, you walked over to him, wrapping the ends of his hair around your fingers.
"Don't worry. In a few days, these preparations will be over." You cuddled up to his arm.
Suddenly, he gently grabbed your jaw and his face appeared in front of yours.
Lips separated from yours by a thin space.
"You'll be my wife soon. In a few days this pretty face will be smiling as she stands in her dress to say "my husband" to me..."
"You forgot about me?"
Satoru suddenly appeared next to you, who was just as close to you.
His cheek touched yours.
Suguru's lips connected to yours and Satoru unexpectedly joined his. Which surprised both of you.
"what? We will have a wedding. How are you going to kiss without me?" He laughed.
Laughing softly with a small blush, you grabbed the back of his head and pulled him into a kiss.
To do the same with both of them later.
Satoru was kissing the right side of your mouth while Suguru was kissing the left side as well. And you too, you tried to kiss them properly.
Even though it was a bit difficult. But it was nice and fun to try.
You knew it would. You couldn't decide what you wanted your wedding to look like...
Of course, bright colors were chosen, mostly white with light blue. And the flowers that are supposed to be decorations are purple lilies.
You wanted your wedding to be associated with your future husbands. That's why you wanted these colors.
White and blue tablecloths, dishes and napkins, as well as small elements such as vases, and purple flowers that will be the color of Suguru's eyes. Light, not intense purple.
The lilies were chosen because they liked them.
Not so distinctive ornaments, you didn't mean to just show it off. You didn't want a rush. That's why you chose the best deals that matched it.
Besides, it took you so long that you had to rush to make it to your cake tasting date that Satoru wanted so badly.
It took so long because the company you went to had a very large selection of decorations. As well as different types of tables and chairs.
Your ceremony is supposed to be outdoors anyway, in a large gazebo.
That's why you didn't want something so sophisticated.
Besides, there won't be that many people there. It is for your enjoyment and for those who are close to you.
Suguru was strangely calm as he drove his car through the crowded streets at this hour in Tokyo.
Perhaps because Satoru was sitting in the back seat and you were sitting next to him in the front?
He didn't have to change gear when he was driving, not now, because he was driving at a constant speed the entire time. That's why his hand was placed on your knee.
And Satoru would sometimes reach out to play with your hair.
Tiny acts of tenderness that you couldn't magnify while driving.
When you arrived at the building where you were supposed to eat only cakes, you were immediately taken to a table where an employee gave you tiny pieces of cake prepared for this tasting.
Satoru clearly said that there will be three people, which is why you saw miniature cakes on the table nearby, each with a different flavor. And the worker was dividing it into three parts to give you.
These miniature cakes are cute, but Satoru certainly wouldn't want them. He prefers a big cake.
Especially that these miniatures are a few centimeters long, and they serve only to taste it.
As expected, everyone took turns tasting Satoru.
It was all good, however you had your favourites.
And for Suguru, some were too sweet.
You have different opinions about flavors.
Satoru is addicted to sugar and anything sweet is good for him.
Suguru doesn't mind sweets, but he likes less sweet food more.
They had one thing in common. That Satoru finally said no. And Suguru said he liked one cake, even if it was sweet.
You were all supposed to agree on the cake, so you didn't choose it.
Especially since Satoru was against it, and he will be the main person who will eat this cake.
That's why he didn't like the alcohol-based custard cake.
Suguru didn't care, even if he liked it.
So he didn't mind that his friend rejected it right away.
You ended up being forced to eat more cakes by Satoru because Suguru said he didn't want any more sweet.
That's why his portion was given to the white-haired man who was pushing the cake into you.
Until finally, after a long time of forcing yourself to taste the cake, you chose.
You ended up eating only a small piece and Satoru ate the rest for you.
But when you gave a piece to Suguru to ask him if he agreed, it was over.
Everything else was eaten by Satoru.
And he was pleased.
You chose, ordered a cake for the date, and of course you got an invitation to the food tasting, which will also be here.
You'll go with them here, but there's no way you're going to eat everything. You let them choose.
Because they are your gluttons.
"You were supposed to help me choose..." you groaned as you looked at yourself in the mirror as you stood there in the dress.
They both looked at you but didn't say anything.
They were supposed to help you!
But no, they preferred to stare at your body every time you changed your dress to see what it looked like.
But maybe it would be better to sit here with your bridesmaids and ask them for their opinion...
Because your fiancés are probably too perverted to even say anything. They just prefer to look at you instead of advising you.
"Satoru, I see you looking at my ass..." you muttered knowing how your white haired man's eyes were lower than they should have been.
When he heard that, he laughed.
"Can you help me choose?" You asked with your hands on your hips.
It's starting to annoy you.
Especially because they promised to help you.
You helped them choose suits, but they don't help you choose dresses.
"My eyes are here." He said to both of them as their eyes slid down your body again.
"I can't concentrate..." Suguru muttered, placing his hand over his face.
"Honey, you're constantly undressing and dressing. So don't expect us to think of anything other than you."
"Suguru at least helps him put it on...! And you're a pervert who's just waiting for me to undress and undress."
"I liked the last one." He said as if ignoring you.
"..." You rolled your eyes and put on the one you've been thinking about all along.
You walked over to Suguru to fasten a small zipper on your back.
"So? Do you like this?"
"It's your outfit. We were only supposed to advise you."
"Suguru..." you moaned, feeling his hands massage your shoulders gently.
You looked at Satoru.
"I'm just waiting to see you in it and then take it off you~." He stuck out his tongue. Your white-haired fiancé was acting like a pervert today...
"Satoru –." you growled.
"Shall I help you choose?"
A woman entered.
You all looked at her at once.
"I'm sorry, however there may be an assistant, bridesmaids or fiancé in the fitting room. I wish there weren't two men in the women's room," she said.
"I'm sorry but they are with me to help me."
"Rules are rules. Only the groom could enter this room while the bride is inside."
"We're both grooms." Satoru said, sitting lazily on a soft bench.
The woman looked at you.
"They are. Thank you, but we don't need any more help. We choose this dress." You said, feeling Suguru's hand on your waist.
"Marriage is two people, not three." She said, looking at you. "You can't make jokes about what a wedding is supposed to be like."
"I'm not joking." You said.
"You shouldn't have two grooms. Do you want two husbands? One won't be enough for you?"
"But it-."
"As if you couldn't decide on one of them. The other would make an equally good life. Besides, relationships of this kind are illegal in the country. You can plan, but no one will agree to it. I sell clothes to normal people. So now I should kick you out of here for trying to change the world for you. I don't think they like being here for you."
"I thought you ran this store to make money off people who wanted to buy wedding clothes here. Then why are you so desperate to get rid of customers?"
She looked almost frightened at the dark-haired man towering over her.
"Such people remind people of what they cannot, even though internally they still care about not losing customers." Satoru added, also getting up to stand next to you. "Besides, we dragged her here to choose what she likes."
"Are you sure about this dress?" Suguru asked you.
It was pretty. You really enjoyed it.
But this woman made you lose all confidence in this wedding.
What if she was right?
Are you too selfish? Because you will have two husbands?
Is it selfish?
They've been with you for some time, and they planned everything to make even the proposal beautiful...
You nodded and he placed a kiss on your forehead.
More practical, ignoring the saleswoman, you disguised yourself behind the curtain. And the dress you wanted was packed, and so were their suits.
You were already leaving the store when Satoru decided to annoy the annoying woman.
And also comfort you.
He grabbed your face, arching your head so you were looking up, and put his mouth on yours as he stood behind you.
You tightened your fingers on his sleeves as he held your jaw to keep your head up as he used your height difference to kiss you like that.
He lecherously stuck out his tongue as he took it from your mouth, leaving you with a huge blush.
"I'm so glad you're finally going to be our wife."
  You wanted to run when you saw them standing in front of a small, decorated gazebo, dressed the same.
Looking at you with a smile.
People standing nearby, dressed as elegantly as you.
Satoru's students, their friends. Everyone they thought of as someone closer. Your family.
You only felt Shoko pushing you out of the corridor of the building that is intended for this ceremony.
Everyone waiting for you?
How are you supposed to show up there so suddenly...?
There are so many people there...
You want to sit there and cry. You want to go out there, but at the same time you are so afraid.
Because your life will change after all this.
You're afraid you'll do something wrong, and you'll ruin something they've been planning so hard.
From the proposal to this moment. And also already to the honeymoon.
Everything was already planned by them.
Because they knew from the beginning that you would agree to be their wife.
So why are you so scared now?
You are so happy that you want to cry.
However, your fear is justified.
You're afraid to ruin the perfect moment where you'll be closer than you've always been.
They were waiting for you.
"If you're afraid of messing something up, (y/n), Gojo would mess it up more." You looked to the side to see Megumi standing there.
"Did you guess?" you laughed softly.
"Don't cry yet! We didn't try so hard to get the make-up you wanted so that it's all flowing down your face now!" Shoko said, fanning your face with her hand so that nothing gets damaged.
"Sorry." You smiled apologetically.
"Megumi, do they even think that something might go wrong?"
"I'm sure the only setback you'll have at the wedding is if Gojo does something unexpected. In the style of dancing on the table."
You saw his little smile.
You laughed quietly.
"Thank you." You hugged him gently before Shoko dragged you outside.
Where were you in plain sight for them.
Right away, without any warning, they just walked over to you, putting their hands on your back and waist, guiding you.
You had the impression for a moment that they were leading you there so that you wouldn't run away from your nerves...
But at some point you were already standing in front of them, looking at their sparkling eyes.
"I promise I will always be with you."
  It all happened almost so naturally.
You don't even know when, but there was a ring on your finger just like theirs.
(For the safety of the psyche of the children who attended your wedding, without a deep kiss.) - Utahime's order.
You'll have time to make up for it over the next few years.
Your face was pressed into them as they hugged you after everything that had happened.
So you can later see Satoru lying on the table after drinking one too many glasses of wine. (He only drank one)
After eating most of the cake that was on the table, and eating what was on your table, they squashed you, holding you between their chests as they danced.
Let Satoru who has had a drink into the place where the music is. I'm sure he'll want to dance with you.
To touch you a little.
But mainly to have you close.
Just as they both wanted.
Because today your life has changed.
Because on your fingers now there are rings binding you by oath.
"Uughhh.... I'm hot...."
"I turned on the air conditioning. Besides, it's not that hot, don't whine. You just finished swimming in the pool." You said, laughing at the sight of one of your husbands lying in boxers on the huge bed.
That they wanted to spend your honeymoon in a luxury hotel, renting one luxury cottage that they had up their sleeve is one thing.
This is an island and your cottage is further away from people.
There aren't that many people here, even though it's so good here.
You are to spend a month in luxury. Pools, hot tubs, food you can't beat, service you want.
And all this while you can spend time together.
He knelt on the bed next to him, and leaned in to kiss his cheek.
"Rest if you feel like it. It's not that hot." You said ruffling his hair.
"I'm still hot." He said keeping his hand on your bare thigh as you walked around in your underwear and bathrobe.
"Would you like some ice cream?" You asked, stroking his arm.
"Put it on my dick."
"NO. I suggest you a normal ice cream." You laughed, trying to avoid the suggestive joke.
You know what he was getting at.
For what every day.
To sex that lasts so long with them.
"I'll be right back." You pecked his lips before getting off the bed. But suddenly you felt a grab on your wrist. Which only meant that he wanted to pull you back into bed.
You gave in and let him do it.
You were lying on his chest as he kissed you, his hands positioning your legs on either side of his hips.
You fumbled with one hand to untie the knot of your bathrobe.
And meanwhile he pulled down your panties to encourage you to take it off.
So you got up for a moment and threw your underwear on the floor.
Same thing happened with your bathrobe.
He spat on his hand and reached behind you, probably smearing his cock with his saliva because moments later he lifted your hips and guided his hand between your legs.
He left the remnants of his saliva on your entrance and smeared some on the head of his cock before pulling your hips down.
He let go of his length, inviting you to fall on top of him.
Holding the base of it, you began to slowly sink into it, letting it stretch you inch by inch deeper.
You held your breath until you put your hips completely on top of him.
Feeling his cock find a nice spot right under your belly. Or even there.
You licked your finger, wetting your clit.
To make it easier to move around when you're wetter.
He needs a lot of slippery to slide into you so smoothly.
That's why you make it so easy for him, and you manage to take him easily. Because with them you always get wet quickly.
But this time he didn't wait. And he pulled you to lie on his chest.
Grabbing your buttocks, he bent his knees to make it very easy for him to move his hips.
And then he gently pulled out of you to push himself inside just as gently.
He repeated very gentle and nice movements until he felt you tremble. And also his dick entered you very easily.
Then, unexpectedly, he thrust upwards, slamming hard against your hips. To get the sound out of your mouth.
He began to accelerate, without fear of whether you could take him.
You are always so wonderful and you take it so well.
His wonderful wife.
Yes, you did it well.
He was smiling with a tiny blush on his cheeks from the fall that now reigned over your skins.
He didn't let you move on your own. He knew what your body needed and how it needed to move.
And thrusting deep into you always worked to get the sweetest moans out of you.
"Are you having fun without me? Geez... I only came in for a second to come back and see you fucking our wife." He laughed.
You looked over at Sugeru who was standing in the doorway in his looser camisole.
"You're back!" Satoru sang. "Her pussy is so eager you know? Just like on her wedding night!"
"Really? Let me check it out."
He came up behind you and took off his shirt.
He also unhooked your bra by the way.
He lifted your hips until his friend's cock fell out of your wet hole.
All wet with your juices.
"Really. Such a good girl. We have such a lovely wife." he laughed before guiding his cock into your quivering hole and pushing your hips down so that you lay down on Satoru's chest, lower half of your body stuffed.
Taking off his shorts, Geto tugged at his friend's ankles to lower him onto the bed. Just to have more headroom.
"You could have said I would have moved myself." He laughed.
"You've got a dick in her, so I doubt you'd do it." he replied.
He walked over to one side of him, and knelt down so your face was tall enough for him.
"We could have turned her around." The white haired man said with a smile as he intentionally thrust himself into you hard to make you let out sweet moans.
"There's no need to. Besides, you like to watch her suck cock anyway."
Your hand grabbed his cock without asking and you started stroking it to harden it.
Enduring pleasurable torture over your hole.
When you got tired of moaning into Satoru's chest, you put Suguru's broad tip in your mouth to gag yourself a bit. And you let him push your hips gently back and forth, pinching your lips as you sucked on him.
You held the rest in your hand.
"I said you like to watch her suck dick."
"I have nothing else to look at. Besides, it's hot." He said, still ramming into your poor pussy which is going to be sore after all the honeymoon you're having.
You looked at your hand with the ring holding its base.
It looked so lascivious because that ring was new and you were already holding a dick in your hand.
You suddenly pulled it out of your mouth, staring at it as your mouth was connected to it by saliva.
"Suguru, fuck me?" You asked innocently, and leaned in to stick your ass out to him.
"How can I refuse my wife when she asks so sweetly?" He asked with a smile.
He walked around you and positioned himself between his friend's knees.
He wasn't sure if you wanted him to go inside your pussy too, or if you wanted him to go up your ass.
As he understood it, so he did.
Besides, he didn't want to force himself inside your little pussy to rip you apart.
You're not ready for this yet. But you will be. And one day they will both fuck you in the pussy.
Dripping his fingers, he inserted one into you and then the other, stretching you out.
There's a reason you left so much saliva on it.
But he spat on your ass anyway, spreading your buttocks, and put a drop of his saliva inside you with the tip. Deep inside you slowly. By listening to your body's reactions.
But your legs spread even more on either side of Satoru's body.
Your body fell softly against him, lying motionless. Trembling as they overstretch you.
You are the only one for your two husbands with big dicks.
His hand stroked your back reassuringly, and the other reached between your stomach and Satoru's. And he found a quick way to your clitoris to rub his fingers on you.
The first ascent is always the hardest. He made your journey through the first stretching enjoyable. Even though you might have gotten used to it the last time you had sex with them.
You have three holes and you take two dicks. In fact, they were surprised that you agreed so easily to let one of them penetrate your ass.
But it was just as nice with them as if they were fucking your pussy.
Weird, but just as fun.
When he reached the end, he moved the tip of the bundle of nerves that made your toes curl up. And you came with a soft whine on Gojo's shoulder.
Soaking the length of your white haired lover with a small stream of your juices flowing out of you.
"She likes it... Yeah, baby?" He kissed your forehead. "You're doing well. It's nice, isn't it?"
"...Move..." you groaned, letting out shuddering moans as they simultaneously backed away and slammed into your body at the same time.
And the coolness of the rings on their fingers as they held your body was so nice.
669 notes · View notes
tsams-confessions · 26 days
Note
Hello, hi, I have never done this before but I have been floating around in the TSAMS bubble for a while and have been around since the channel started uploading in its first few months of existing.
Anyway, my main point is that I really miss when The Sun and Moon Show was that, the *Sun* and *Moon* Show. I miss the older episodes where it was just Sun and Moon when they had their wacky adventures and dealt with Eclipse and the fact that regardless of the outcome, they stuck together till the end because they were all the other really ever had, aside from good pal Monty. So when I watch the newer episodes and see all these new characters they've gained, I just realize how much that dynamic really changed. No longer was it just Sun and Moon, it was Lunar, Earth, Solar, Frank, etc. And don't get me wrong, I love all of these characters too, I think they're all great additions. I just kinda noticed a lack of actual bonding between Sun and Moon themselves. Sure they still do it sometimes and they also play games together of course, but it's just not the same. I don't really know what their bond is anymore. Maybe things just really changed when Old Moon died and New Moon came? I love New Moon, of course, more considerate compared to Old Moon, but it seems Sun and Moon have just kinda drifted apart. Which makes sense, they are their own people, they don't have to be around each other 24/7, but I just miss when it was just: Sun and Moon, against the world. They were like the Yin and Yang, you know? I kinda hope that in the future Sun and Moon can have an episode where they just bond again, properly? Maybe I'm not seeing things in full view, I have missed out on a lot more episodes recently to be honest since the show just hasn't intrigued me as much. This got a bit lengthy but I hope maybe others will feel relieved that someone said this? It's just a sad realization I had.
.
60 notes · View notes
whitneysboii · 9 months
Note
funniest(but also serious) thoughts i have for dol is just finding a way to get rid of encounters and all that sexual stuff
Because this game is so fucking interesting for a porn game how dare.
What is that tentacle room? Why is the wolf howl going to help? How does Black Alpha(i forgor their name) know and got into the room? Does this mean the room is actually physically present somewhere in the town/forest?
How dod Leighton manage to get to headmaster and no one realise anything about him for so long? Are they all actually aware of it? Do people who got used by him meet up?
Are there any townies who manage to move out? What the hell is up with Ivory Wraith? How did the town even get to normalizing everything?
What happened to Morgan? Does anybody else know Eden other than Bailey? How the hell does Bailey know Eden anyways?
I am so goddamn interested in every character, every part of this town, every little bit of story we get with characters and places it's silly
And perhaps my favourite question of all.
Why the hell does the town not bat a single eye to every single thing that happen but still require you to have an ID to get to the strip club bestie there are worse crimes that could be committed and there are. Very regularly. Townies really said "Your body may be grabbed, but god forbid you watch someone strip under the age of 18."
╔═════════════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═════════════╗
Hello, anon! 👋
(I'm not sure if this is the same anon from before, but welcome, regardless!)
Firstly, any links that I post may contain spoilers, so use caution if you're trying to avoid them. Secondly, this post is probably definitely gonna be a long one, so strap in! (And hopefully this answers your questions, or inspires more!)
╚═════════════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═════════════╝
I agree and I don't at the same time. (But I wholly agree that's it's too interesting for a porn game and how dare they lmao)
Getting Rid of Encounters / Sexual Aspects Completely?
A lot of the lore and characters that we love so much are based on the frequent encounters around town that they're fully aware are happening, but can't do anything about (partly due to the police literally not caring, and actually being part of the problem rather than the solution; the other part being if they truly want to or are capable of stepping in on PC's behalf or not). Obviously this changes things a bit if we remove the encounters or sexual aspects completely, although we might retain most story lines, quests, and characters if we still have the required ones (the Ivory Wraith* for example, and love interests such as Whitney, Avery, Alex, etc.). *If you're wondering why I included the Ivory Wraith, this has to do with their backstory. You can learn more about that here if you're interested. Again, beware of spoilers. I won't give anything away, but I was totally against the Ivory Wraith until I read that and now I'm just sad. Also, the tentacle room you mention - is it tentacle plains (accessible through the Hookah Parlour, or the mirror in your room at 3am)? I have suspicions that it's tied into the Ivory Wraith's story, but there's no solid evidence yet (aside from the tentacles, purple mist, the portal in the mirror, etc.).
Removing Only Unnecessary Encounters / Sexual Aspects?
If there was an option to toggle between "normal" and "required encounters", that would be ideal for people who want to play, but can't or won't for various reasons (I won't list them, as I'm sure people can draw their own conclusions if they've played this game). It might actually appeal to those who are asexual and/or repulsed by sex in general, too, which would be great for community building. (The only drawback I see are people becoming too aware of this game's existence and kink shaming, bullying, trying to cancel it, etc.) However, Vrel & team have done a wonderful job implementing something that's similar to that idea without removing the "core aspects" of the game (the point being to do whatever you have to in order to survive). Players can set their game mode to "soft mode" and limit their encounter rate, but this disables feats (if you're unsure of what feats are, they're basically achievements that earn you Vrelcoins; you can spend the coins into your next game to make it easier). Note that you can enable cheats at any point, too, though it has the same effects (no feats).
Tumblr media
Soft Mode description:
Tumblr media
═════════════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═════════════
Black Wolf, The Alpha
As for the wolf howl and Black Wolf the Alpha, I actually haven't played as a wolfie in a while. I'll play through a save file and, should I find anything, I'll tag it here (it'll be under "mine", so it should be easier to find). I didn't know they could get into the tentacle room, so that's really interesting to know. Again, that makes me wonder if it has to do with the Ivory Wraith, although I'm not sure how Black Wolf would have gotten in if it does; the Wraith isn't specifically land-based as Black Wolf would be, so it's a bit strange. (Also, please send another ask if you find out anything - I love learning more about this game!)
═════════════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═════════════
The Headmaster
Leighton is definitely hiding something, but I can't quite put a finger on it. I want to know who they're taking the pictures for, since they can easily go to the brothel (and do so regularly) and probably pick up any of the students there, too; there doesn't really seem to be a need for the pictures, at least not for Leighton. So, the next thing that comes to mind is that perhaps Leighton is selling them to someone underground. Someone who might have the upper hand within the school board, or maybe the town (Quinn the Mayor comes to mind, but I don't know enough about them to think they would be tied into that; however, there is an email about some sort of "sin" they committed and presumably "already paid for", but that comes into play with Bailey and has no mention of Leighton - both of them have positions of authority over students and/or (18+) "children", though, so maybe it's not so far fetched?). I don't think that the people who were used by Leighton meet up - however, it would be a unique quest line to follow. It could end with them being arrested (even if the PC has no involvement with the Landry & Mickey quest line, or it could occur after; could be a timed event), and Sirris, Doren, or one of the other teachers get promoted in Leighton's place for their hard work. Although, since Sirris has the Adult Shop and Winter runs the Museum, chances are that it would go to somebody else (i.e. Mason, Doren, or River). Honestly, I would prefer Doren, honestly, as they seem to be somebody that even Whitney hesitates around, so that would create a different kind of dynamic.
═════════════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═════════════
Morgan, Eden, & Bailey
Not much is known about Morgan. I have a theory about their child, however, which is probably not anything new for this community. I'll pitch it anyway, because I personally haven't seen it posted anywhere. This is what the Miraheze blog states (which is not official as far as I know, but it does work and is accurate for most situations):
Tumblr media
Morgan, upon meeting PC, calls them "Charles" or "Charlene." The dance teacher on Barb Street is named Charlie, which is a unisex nickname for the other two names above. I'm not sure what could have happened between the two of them, but something horrible must have left Morgan deranged in the sewers and Charlie on the surface, who potentially grew up by themselves. For all Morgan knows, or at least the PC, their child has/had passed away; if they were deranged before they lost Charlie, that would explain a lot, as they might not have been mentally stable (perhaps how they ended up in the sewers to begin with). If Morgan became that way after they fell into the sewer, they could be dealing with high trauma, severe hallucinations, and/or low control from multiple encounters (like what happens with PC).
• ┈ • • ✦ ✦ ✦ • • ┈ •
Eden probably wouldn't know Morgan since they pretty much never leave the Forest. They also probably don't know most of the other named NPCs (Whitney, Avery, Robin, Great Hawk, etc.) for the same reason. However, everyone there seems to know Bailey, regardless of where they've come from or been - Bailey has their hands in the pockets of nearly everyone in that town. Eden might know Bailey from buying the PC (to repay their debts), but there's a possibility they'd know one another outside of that. After all, Eden is a hunter - they face the things in the Forest that no one else dares to. This means that they probably come into town to sell the meat, fur, bones, and other bits of the wolves that try to attack them. Also, deer, foxes, and bears are shown to be out there, too, among other creatures (lizard-like beings in particular). Bailey may have found them at a butcher shop, grocery store, or a similar location (maybe even Connudatus Street, at the stalls), trying to sell their wares. Maybe they decided to cut a deal together, something where Bailey offered his "goods", too; a nice, new play toy for Eden and, in exchange, freshly caught food for the orphans.
• ┈ • • ✦ ✦ ✦ • • ┈ •
As for if anyone else would know Eden (outside of Bailey), there seems to be one other person. If you're dating Eden, then they'll come looking for you at Remy's (here's the farm scene, in case you want to read through it). It's unclear whether they know one another before Eden comes searching for the PC, however, so there's no solid evidence for either side yet.
═════════════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═════════════
Misc. Questions
Are there townies that manage(d) to move out? While I don't know specifics, I think that there are a few people lucky enough to do so. Everybody talks about being "stuck in [this] town", but I think that Avery, for example, could totally leave if he wanted to. Maybe he doesn't for business reasons, or maybe the PC is his last reason for staying in town (could explain why he gets so angry when PC disobeys, because all he might want is someone to feel less lonely in this pitiful pit of a town, and he just needs one thing to go right and go his way for once). If you're someone like Robin, however, then you might be stuck there for a long time, assuming you do manage to find a way to leave. How did the town even get to normalizing everything? This is interesting to me because this had to have happened over several years, where it just became something that happened so frequently that people began to overlook it; we know this has been occurring since before the "Ivory Wraith" became known as that - so, at least since year 361. It may not have been something that happened often during that time, but it's probably been building up as people moved to or had families in the town. This might have been furthered by previous authority figures, such as other mayors, police forces, etc. I'd also suggest that Quinn might be involved, but it seems as though they'd rather scrub the town's image than let it be ruined (as it already seems to be, evidenced by PC getting asked about the town's rep while they work at the cafe); if they're not actively helping people get away from that, then they're allowing it to happen by not doing anything about it. Why does the town not bat an eye at everything else, but requires you to have an ID to enter the strip club? I've been wondering the same exact thing since I first started playing. I understand that the characters all have to be 18+ (for legal reasons, but also because... well... it would be weird if they weren't?), but I don't understand how you have to have an ID to get in considering there are other ways to "bend the rules." I'd love a side scene where you're forced to help Whitney + friends into the strip club (also maybe he makes you get on an empty stage and dance for him js), or maybe you run into Darryl at one of the parties that Charlie sends you to dance at. Either way, this offers different options for Darryl to see your potential; they could offer you a bar tending job first, then have you dance on the weekends for smaller crowds (of course, they'd have you perform more the better your dancing skills are).
141 notes · View notes
fatuismooches · 3 months
Note
OMG HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO MEEEEEEE
i juts read the last(i think) part of the dottore thing
i am crying so f-king much you wouldn't understand (i hate you)
i just have one question though, what would [name] be doing/thinking
i really hope they dont have the same or similar fate, but i could actually see it happening (i just dont want to be tortured right now) they ofc could also be looking back at the old memories of them and Zandik, though that is also a curse in itself
whatcha thinking abt it though, i'd love to know
-luv ya
I'M SORRY ANON!! I'M HONORED YOU FELT THAT MUCH EMOTION BUT ALSO SAD... 😭 *hugs you* But to answer your question about [Name]'s fate in the fic, well, double apology but... I too imagine that they are also being punished after death. They aren't absolved of sin either, regardless of what they've done personally, they were the lover of Il Dottore. Or, you can see it as a double punishment for Dottore. Having his lover die over and over and also they themselves being tortured for eternity just like himself. No peace like he always wanted you to have.
It's like you said. Their fate isn't very physical... they've already gone through pain for over four centuries so, it wouldn't be a suitable punishment. Instead, they have to watch Dottore move on without them, essentially witnessing betrayal for eternity. Witness their husband never needing them, their presence always being a burden. Witness them never being loved at any second because of their illness, all of it a fraud. Although it's obviously not true, seeing something like that presented to you nonstop would certainly warp the truth in your broken mind, no?
If it makes you feel better... I like to think that after Celestia is finally destroyed, the two of you finally rest. Maybe even reincarnate, who knows...
24 notes · View notes
melusine0811 · 3 months
Text
Angry teacher rant ahead. And this is a doozy.
I woke this morning to an email to find that one of my most sensitive kids, who trusted me, had been suspended, along with her friend, for something that should not have ended in a suspension. In my class, both are stellar students, they chat a lot, but they are ELEVEN. One has a severe mental illness for which the behavior they displayed is a manifestation (severe panic disorder). And no one but someone who deals with any sort of mental illness would be able to pick this out, but of course I cannot out myself. And their parents can't pick it out either because they only took the kid to the psychiatrist ONCE to get a diagnosis and that was it.
I am so tired of watching adults AND kids I care about get hurt by people who don't have any fucking perception or any room for it- even those on an antidepressant (aka my brother)---they are almost worse because they're boxed in thinking "well if I can handle it, so and so shouldn't act like that." Adults are no better than my 11 year old students. And for my kids it's even harder to watch when it comes from people they trust. Sometimes it’s the 11 year olds that are most ready for empathy, as sad as it is. They forgive easily and love the most readily after it's all said and done. But they're the ones that get trampled on fastest all over again.
Hear me out:
All people, in all positions, especially teachers and those working closely with the wellbeing of other human beings (medical, social work, psychology, childcare, etc), should have to go through rigorous and comprehensive sensitivity training for mental illnesses just like they do for CPR, sexual harassment training, and diversity training. In fact, mental illness should be a MUCH LARGER part of diversity training. Anyone working in a clinical or medical field should have to spend a week (5 days) visiting each day the same psychiatric hospital, and actually TALK to the human beings in there. But of course the stigma still dictates that it's not important enough, and that we're invisible.
CHRONIC MENTAL ILLNESS IS A LEGITIMATE DISABILITY- I.E. severe depression, anxiety, OCD, ADHD, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and many less common disorders. These disorders produce a massive array of behavioral consequences that constantly overlap. And demanding the same things from these students is just like demanding the same behavior of ALL students, no matter whether they have an IEP or 504.
***Every teacher and student in my school knows how to fight off a fucking gunman but not how to sensitively handle a twelve year old having a panic attack. In fact, other kids and even teachers would just laugh and blame the kid for not trying hard enough. ***
Every. Single. Action someone does, regardless of age, that you perceive as poor behavior, annoying, borderline irritating, negative, defiant, backtalking, rude, or even mean, or lashing out---and most especially if it's out of character for them---? It comes from a place of deep pain. It comes from a place of TRAUMA. Always. It's an even surer sign based on how they act afterwards. Do they not care? Do they go right on to the next dumbass thing? Or do they feel horrible about it, perhaps as if---hmmm--- they've been rejected before?
People do things and behave certain ways for a REASON. Throwing them into a suspension or separating them from others just isolates them and makes it worse. For kids and people who don't handle rejection, this causes ACTUAL PHYSICAL PAIN. I'm not saying you should put up with people's poor behavior. I am saying say your piece, tell them it's not okay, and then LET IT FUCKING GO afterwards. Because I guarantee you they will be having nightmares about it long after you will. People, especially kids, only act out around people they TRUST and can be vulnerable with, and the chances of something similar ever happening again are slim to none. If you are a parent, you know this to be true because your child is fine at school and can be a little shit sometimes at home.
Try, as hard as if may be for you, to see past it. Be bigger, you're not the one falling apart in that moment. Intervene. Because if this is something that is not a regular occurrence, that kid is careening towards a mental or behavioral breakdown. It costs you nothing but maybe your "pride" to back down and open yourselves to them. Maybe offer a hug instead sharp words. You would be shocked.
Years ago, I went on maternity leave. I had a 15 year old student named Dustin who I was very fond of. Dustin was autistic, he was gentle, and the other kids tormented him because of the way he talked and the fact that he was always filthy. He was bipolar. His father abused him and neglected him. He would come to my classroom just to sit and talk to me about Pokemon. I had no idea what he was talking about but I listened anyway. The person who replaced me during my maternity leave was, without exaggeration, an absolute bitch. She was a bitch when I was in high school and as far as I know she still is. She unsurprisingly triggered Dustin one day with her absolute insensitivity. A bunch of the other boys ganged up on him and told him they were going to beat him up the next day. The sub did NOTHING. Dustin brought a knife to school the next day to protect himself and he got expelled. There was nothing I could do when I got back. Dustin was killed five years later, hardly anyone ever showed that boy kindness.
Try to remember that the next time you push them aside, dismiss them, ignore their need for your reassurance especially in their time of deepest vulnerability. Because if that’s the case? You are not as special as you think you are— and you are faaar from the first that has dismissed their hurt, and you are only creating a hardened, more traumatized person much more quickly.
Adults especially should know better. Take care of our babies, people better fucking take care of mine. Adults should know better when it comes to each other, as well- fucking take care of each other, and open yourselves in others' time of need. I have seen so, so many forgotten people in the hospital.
13 notes · View notes
Note
hey :) i haven't poked my head here in awhile. i hope things haven't been too rough lately. i've not had the best days recently but here's a foul legacy fic to feed everyone to make me feel better<3
it's only been a week.
you're trudging through it all, but lately it's dawned on you that all this is, all the routine, it's just the same thing over and over again. you wake up, go to work, take a lunch break. back to work, and when that's done, you head back home for dinner. after, you simply collapse onto your bed and fall asleep, not ready to repeat the cycle all over again.
all you really want to do is just.. sleep. rest for a few hours, maybe a few days. escape from the monotonous routine of life that brings no joy.
"it's only been a week," you tell yourself. one week since you forced yourself to break up with your now ex-partner. ever since the day you started liking him, you had this growing anxiety inside your chest, stomach, and neck. you aren't sure where it came from, only when it first appeared. nothing would soothe your anxiety--no matter what they said, you still doubted their word.
you hated that part, it made you feel guilty. still does. you trusted them, right? you really did. so then why did you still continue to doubt their word, continuing to be unable to rid yourself of the anxiety that was plaguing you?
and oh, you got jealous, so, so easily. and when you got jealous, you spiraled. it was as if you needed the constant reassurance, as if you needed them to like you. it was becoming an obsession.
a week ago, you forced yourself to tell them that it probably was for the best if they ceased all forms of interaction indefinitely.
that night, you cried.
the night after that, you read a sad book and cried some more.
by the third night, you just felt numb. you weren't sure if you were feeling sad enough to really call it suffering. your anxiety was gone, but then what next?
it's the tenth night now. you miss your friends. you know it would be better for you if you reached out to them, tried to make plans together. but ever since the first night, you've been avoiding all of them like the plague. every now and then one of them texts you, and you almost smile at the care. you don't read them, though. it feels too overwhelming.
sometimes they call you, but you let it go to voicemail without bothering to listen to them.
you're beginning to settle into the idea that you'll just have to tough this out on your own, and hope your friends either welcome you back with open arms as if nothing ever happened, or forget about you entirely, leaving you to find a new group of friends.
you nearly jump out of your skin when you hear a knock at the door--the first you've heard in months. you slowly make your way to the door, tired still. you open the door a crack, unsure who would be at your doorstep at this time of day.
to your surprise, you see a ginger-haired man. it's childe, you think. but this childe is wearing a mask and is notably taller than usual.
childe has been your closest friend since childhood, and you like to think that he knows you better than most. regardless of his appearance, you let him in, hoping he won't try and engage in socializing. in a low, quiet growl, he explains himself.
"i haven't seen you in awhile. your friends say they've texted and called, but you haven't picked up or replied. they don't think you've even read anything. i was... worried."
childe--or would it be more appropriate to say foul legacy?--stands awkwardly in front of the door, not really sure what to do.
you, however, waste no time in making your way back to the couch, where you resume sitting idly, trying not to cry. you don't like crying, let alone in front of other people. despite yourself, however, you can't help yourself. there's someone finally here, in your house, and he cares! you hate your brain for betraying you, but you're startled out of your thoughts when you feel a pair of arms wrap around your body.
"do you want to talk about it?" he asks softly.
you shake your head, but you lean into his touch. for the first time in what feels like forever, you feel safe and void of anxiety. all you can really feel is the endless numbing sadness. but he's here. and to your pleasant surprise, he tightens his grip around you and you relax just a little more.
and by the archons he loves you so much but he doesn't want to ruin the relationship. maybe one day... one day he'll tell you.
hello my dear, it's so nice to see you again!!! i'll be honest, i've also been having a bit of a tough time lately, but it's alright!!! we can help each other through it together!!! <333
you end up falling asleep in Childe's arms, leaning your head against his armored chest. it's the first restful sleep you've gotten all week, and Childe gently traces the outlines of your features, frowning at the visible signs of exhaustion etched into your face. he carefully shifts so you're comfortable, cradling your cheek in his claws as he allows you to rest- things always look better when you've gotten a good night of sleep, after all!
when you wake up, you're drowsy and disoriented from how warm and cozy you feel. for the first time in a good several days, your head doesn't hurt from lack of sleep, and there's a humming, rumbling sound filling the room. you eventually realize the sound is coming from Childe, who fell asleep alongside you with his arms wrapped around your body. he wakes just as slowly as you did, mumbling sleepily and blinking, gaze focusing on you leaning against him. his talons come to your face and gently swipe under your eyes, although there's no tears to flick away, and asks if you're feeling better. you shrug, still listless, but heart feeling a bit lighter than it did before, and Childe croons and presses his cheek to yours
this small action finally draws a few tears from you, sliding down your cheeks and onto the ground as you cling to Childe, arms wrapped around his neck. quietly you ask him to not go- please don't go- since you need this more than anything right now, even if you think yourself as selfish for it. his croons dip into soothing purrs as he holds you steady, claws delicately drawing shapes and letters on your back
"I'll stay as long as you want- even if that's forever, I'll always stay"
31 notes · View notes
strangestcase · 1 year
Text
I will make a final statement on the dramaTM and then shut up about it, you know, not make it worse, because I know myself.
I guess it would be hypocritical of me to not apologize.
I will step up and admit, I've been petty, I've been annoying as hell, I've been stubborn, and I have overdone myself more than once. I have not been gracious at many times and I completely understand people are upset about it. It was never my intention to hurt anybody, and I say this completely honestly. But holy shit, looking back, do I fucking jump to conclusions.
Also, for context, it hasn't helped that I'm not exactly in a good place mentally lately due to personal issues.
As a... I wouldn't say content creator, but as a writer and artist, I also struggle with criticism at times and I would be lying if I said that having critics, no matter how civil, is not a walk in the park. That we can all agree on. I imagine it's not fun, as a pretty anxious person myself, to have a few people call you out on some bullshit -regardless of if they're right or not- because, trust me, I have been there, and I should have been more mature, being aware of that. However, I will make the point that the "harassment campaign" you are talking about is just three or four mostly cloutless people complaining about immature behavior on part of a popular artist; on your end, we have the big names of the fandom overreacting at the plight, no matter how ridiculous, of a blogger that has a fraction of a fraction of your fame.
It would be dumb to pretend I have not stepped on people's toes or pushed their buttons the same way it would be dumb to pretend the other side hasn't done the same in differnet ways. So let me reiterate: I am genuinely sorry if I've made any of the people involved feel bad or insulted, though I would be very happy if they made the move to likewise apologize for their behavior, because it's not like I'm super happy about the way they've treated me. Once again, if you stay in your lane I'll also stay in mine and vice versa. Like. Sure. It wasn't good of me to vague other fans, I'm self aware enough to see that now, and I wish I had been able to see it earlier, but it isn't good of them to screenshot my blog and spread rumors about me, you know?
Let me be clear here: I don't want anybody to harrass anybody, go after anybody, or start any more shit. God knows I've already had enough and I wouldn't want to drag more people into this. Any sort of disagreement or beef there is in the fandom should stay between, well, the people affected, like that's OUR problem to sort out? Not yours? So please and for the love of all that's holy don't stoke the flames from this point on because right now we're all just angry and sad and scared and. Um. That doesn't feel great.
Cool?
Cool.
Anyway. I still stand by my opinions, and anybody who knows me knows I'll die on whatever hill, but I have no issue with admitting that an angry Doc is a very petulant and immature creature, and now I'm seeing the consequences. So. All I can say right now is that I sympathize with the fandom at large, understand why they're angry at me, and just... I suppose sit down and be more reasonable even in the face of people who aren't exactly being it. Turn the other cheek and all that.
All this aside, I'm glad we are... kinda cooling down, and having enough emotional maturity to not involve more folks. I'd hate if this got any bigger, and I'm sure that's something we all believe.
TL;DR: I've gone a bit too far and admit I've also overreacted in regards of the current fandom drama, and feel sorry for it. But also please it wouldn't kill you to do the same? I promise I will do my own thing from now on, just be a bit more chill next time someone complains about you. If I can admit I've been too belligerent so can anybody honestly.
9 notes · View notes
steveharrington · 1 year
Note
But we’re not told WHY they’re vecna’d. There’s no reason why vecna targets traumatized teens EXCEPT to make it even more horror-movie-ish. Why do they get trash compacted like that specifically? It’s implied that’s how vecna a powers work but why? No idea.
The show has left so many unanswered questions already and this new element (vecna itself!) just over complicates everything
And I’m actually kind of pissed bc Patrick gets vecna’d and we know almost nothing about him. But stranger things… hates poc
I actually kind of hate Chrissy because of how differently she (pretty white girl) was treated from Patrick (black boy). And. her eating disorder existed SOLELY for exploitative purposes just to cause an emotional reaction it’s not something that adds to her as a character it’s just there to freak the audience out, meanwhile other REAL LIFE ACTORS are being forced to starve themselves for the roles. We get it eating disorders are scary good thing they’re not real! /s
Acting like this new girl will be important focusing on her ed only to kill her off in the most horrific way possible… i don’t like it it feels exploitative especially of a real world problem this show is absolutely complicit in spreading
We got a LOT less development for Fred than chrissy and didn’t fucking. Languish in such a triggering topic I think he was the happy medium.
Regardless the focus on traumatized teens with no other similarities was already so random they could have just picked literally anyone with no special backstory and it would have worked just as well? At the end of the day Chrissy ONLY matters as motivation for Jason, who only matters as motivation for Eddie ( and since Eddie’s death did nothing like. It didn’t seem like he was saving Dustin’s life or anything) who only matters to make Dustin kind of sad? She died for man pain except the ultimate man pain was for some guy she never even met
Chrissy isn’t a person or a character she’s a bafflingly written INTENTIONALLY TRIGGERING and misogynistic plot device with an outrageous amount of minute details they could have given to any of the real characters. They didn’t have to spend 10 minutes pretending she mattered only to beat her to death with a rock and then run over her a few times for good measure
well first of all i am no authority on the topic of whether or not chrissy's struggles with her ed were done correctly and therefore i will not speak on it because its really....not my place as someone who hasn't experienced that!
as for why vecna targets people with trauma specifically, i think it serves a greater narrative purpose and that's depicted best through max's arc this season. vecna's whole backstory as henry shows that he was obviously traumatized himself by brenner and when he appeals to chrissy, fred, and max he attempts to persuade them to just give up/join him/etc because it's easier than carrying on. he's using their trauma against them. and then when max is faced with this threat of losing her life to vecna, it motivates her to want to get better and want to stop isolating herself from lucas and the group, she literally says "i don't want to go, im not ready" and it kinda overall like. saves her life! vecna acts as a narrative tool to explore mental health and trauma and guilt. imo it's much much MUCH more impactful for our characters to overcome him through their bonds and their desire to live despite what they've been through than like.....killing a monster of the week
obv you dont have to agree with me and that's fine but i don't think chrissy is like...a misogynistic charicature in the slightest. like i said before i really don't think chrissy's treatment in the show was uniquely different than fred's or even max's. i don't really understand how chrissy's trauma was "languished in" any more than fred's? i feel like they got equal screentime and fred's vecna vision was just as brutal as chrissy's, even if they talked about two entirely different topics. and if im being completely honest (again not trying to be rude or demean your view of the show, but you did send this ask to me personally so im going to give my honest opinions back) i think referring to chrissy as a "plot device" and not a "real character" is intentionally reading the show in bad faith.
this season is a horror season. people die like they do in any slasher movie. i understand if the vecna plotline isn't for everyone because like yeah watching characters who are already suffering die very tragic deaths is hard! but i think the point of vecna like i said before is to personify trauma, guilt, and shame to allow our characters to overcome those feelings. chrissy's death worked both to establish what vecna does and to involve eddie. but i dont think that automatically makes her a "prop" or a "plot device" because she's given a personality, she's given a lot of thought and care from the actress, she's given people who mourn her. i think it was genuinely one of the sweetest moments in the whole show when eddie dedicated his little guitar solo to her because it showed that her death affected him and in motivating him to want to kill vecna and save his friends from her same fate, it had meaning
25 notes · View notes
akookminsupporter · 2 years
Note
Do you think something is going on with Jimin ? He looks so sad over all. And today he was literally hiding under his mask and hat, clinging to Tae and Jhope throughout. This is really worrying. Taking a break from sm often is understandable but completely quitting it ? I hope he connects with us once in a while. Other members regularly updates and I'm not expecting him to do so. Some smarties here will say I'm entitled. If you think so then yes, I want to know whether a person I adore so much is happy... just posting a pic or a message in weverse once in a while is enough for me. I hope nothing negative is going on in his life. He usually post this ' we will come back safely message but he didn't do it this time '. We all miss you Jiminie
I understand that we care about the members, that we want them to always be well and I understand that we care about Jimin because of the shit that stupid people say about him on social media but what we shouldn't do is assume that there is always something wrong with him based on one gesture or one action. You in this post have associated Jimin being down with things he has always done. He was hiding under his mask and hat: Are you serious? Jimin has ALWAYS done that when he wants to. In fact he, Yoongi and Jungkook are all experts at wearing masks and hats that practically cover their entire faces. That's not an indication that he's not feeling well or that something is wrong. Clinging to Tae and Jhope: You've never paid attention to Jimin's relationship with the two of them? That was the most normal thing in the world. Maybe it's not something we usually see in airports but it's normal. Many of you seem to forget important details when they don't fit into your narrative but BTS went to the airport in the morning and they've already said more than once that they're not used to that. Jimin has said more than once that he goes to bed super late so he was probably tired and didn't sleep much or at all. Jin said in one of his posts that he had played video games until 8am and was therefore going to sleep through the whole flight. "Giving up social media: Is it so hard to believe that a person doesn't like to be on social media all the time even if that person is famous? Jimin hasn't given up social media, he just doesn't post as much as others but he does occasionally. I don't see anything wrong with that and I don't understand how that translates into something being wrong. Now if he does it because he realised the shit they say about him on social media I'm glad! It makes me happy that he prioritizes his mental and emotional health over his fans wanting to see a picture of him. Anon, with all due respect, just because a person posts something on social media doesn't mean everything was fine with them. Or that they are fine. I was depressed and having suicidal thoughts a while back, and I still posted pictures and even motivational messages. You are not only entitled, but you are also selfish because you want Jimin to post something for YOUR satisfaction, regardless of whether he wants to or not. Don't you think we'd be better fans if we respected the fact that he doesn't seem to want to do it? And that regardless of the reasons why he doesn't do it should be respected? You guys need to stop associating with Jimin that something bad is happening because he stopped doing something he used to do. People change. He has done so in many ways and that should be respected. That's what a good fan would do.
I've received several asks with this same narrative and I've deleted them all, this is the only one I'll post. I know that many of you don't give a shit about what I say about my blog, but know that if you send me any more of these, I will delete them.
36 notes · View notes
papirouge · 8 months
Note
I’m from the us and I wonder if some of these more hardcore trad girls who wish we all lived in the 40s and 50s are aware that their idolization of 50s housewives is based on fake ads. So many women back then were either on drugs given to them by their doctor or hid their true feelings out of fear from their husbands because husbands back then were able to throw their wives into psychiatric hospitals for lobotomies if they had a mental breakdown over their lives or anything. Some girls were lobotomized just for being more free spirited and less like a “lady” and their families sent them to those hospitals. My grandma who lived through that time worked as a nurse had a lot of sad stories of meeting women who were trapped in abusive marriages, having kids they didn’t want and since postpartum depression wasn’t understood well, the “therapy” offered was electroshocks to the head or something else. And they knew that they would be thrown into mental hospitals and kept there until the doctor claimed those women were “cured” - there are other things I remember talking to grandma about before she passed, and while I like some of the aesthetics of trad living, there’s a lot of ignorance from young girls who don’t know the reality of what a lot of women had gone through back then :/ it’s not just sitting in a kitchen eating aprons and baking cake all day.
Well, I have nothing to add because you pretty much said it all, but overall I'm SICK of revisionist vision about womanhood and how women have been treated in recent History
You nailed it about 50s/60s housewives, but tbh I'm still seething about how some radfem try to rehabilitate 00s icon as some martyr of modern pop culture when they have done objectively awful things and that the way they've been treated by media can't solely be inputted on misogyny
Paris Hilton? the woman who infamously said lesbians were disgusting on tape and has an obsessive hate boner against Black men (there's this story floating about her saying she and Vin Diesel hooked up in a club and when she realized how 'dark' he was on more natural lights, dumped him💀)?
I wouldn't be surprised radfem would still defend her though, saying shit like "sHe wAs so YouNg" .....when homegirl was already in her 20s and that being young isn't an excuse for homophobia or racism 💀 Paris Hilton was quite awful in her peak (mid-late 00s) and she being antagonized by media was quite understandable actually. It was literally her brand. Zoomers who barely lived in that era have no idea of what they're talking about.
Her PR machine went OFF with that documentary about her abuse in that rich kids school and did an excellent job glossing over the many shady shit she did afterwards under the "disturbed rich girl" shtick....
I have second hand embarrassment watching (lesbian) radfem who bought into it and jumped on the rehabilitation bandwagon....
And TBH /unpopular opinion/ but I feel the same about Britney. Homegirl went off the rails after her In the Zone album, and as shady her family was, there was solid ground in putting her under tutorship (her erratic behavior, marrying that paparazzi guys, shaving her head, then assaulting journalists.... Regardless her -understandable- reasons for behaving like this (mental illness, mind control, etc.) those were valid ground to put under legal check, and I'm sick of people acting that there were some sort of mediatic conspiracy against Britney to make her fall out... Media harassment was just the nail on the coffin - she being overworked and controlled all her life was the main reason for her snapping like she did.
And don't get me started about Amber Heard stans acting like anyone supporting Johnny Depp has been brainwashed WHEN JOHNNY DEPP IS A LITERAL HOLLYWOOD ACTOR WHOSE STARDOM/FAME PREDATES THE INTERNET CONTAGION EFFECT PARTISANSHIP. If anything the general public supporting him instead of Amber is the organic status quo, and the only 'internet brainwashing ' was those viral tweet/Tiktok seeking to "expose" Depp and rally people to Heard's cause, which is a tactic that even Heard applaud , see :
Tumblr media
You see TikTok defending Depp so you start being on his side? "YOu'vE beEn bRainWashEd"
You see Tiktok defending Heard so you start being in her side? "THats sO rEasDurIng to rEad #thetideisturning"
I just loathe how flipflopping these people are when it comes to interpret turn of events depending whether it fits their bias or not.
Also people need to stop expecting another #freebritney moment whenever they think a woman gets unfairly treated by the media. Britney was America's sweetheart. No other female celebrity comes close to the impact and influence she got on a whole generation of girls, who later on became publicist, journalists, blogger, etc. and held enough mediatic leverage to make that movement happen. That's not going to happen for Heard who, beside wifing Johnny Depp, is a literal "who", and is nowhere near having the endearing aura of Britney (doesn't Heard have the reputation of behaving poorly with people? She spat on her assistant face when she complained about some stuff💀)
2 notes · View notes
colethewolf · 2 years
Note
I assumed at first that Crystal's age would be like those 80's movies where we all just ignored the obviousness that a full ass adult was playing a teenager and that she'd been dead all this time. But now I'm seeing posts saying she's been alive all this time?
Like...first off, bringing back THIS story line without Dylan and Arden is kinda a slap to their faces. Not surprised. Part of it I also agree is laziness in Jeff's part. Another part is just the narcissism of him thinking he could redo the favorite season of a lot of people without the reasons why it was people's favorites.
All the while retconning and ruining characters and their relationships. In this case....Lydia. She felt Allison die. Of course it could be said her powers were still developing and new and Allison could have been engulfed by the powers of the nogitsune and so close are death and grief and strife that she could have been fooled. BUT...that's the kind of detail only fanfic authors would care to give a character other than Scotty. I don't think nor will I give Jeff that kind of creative credit into thinking.
But also...they were "sisters". Best friends. Regardless of how much influence the nogitsune has had on Allison, if they just have Lydia accept her back into her life...it's just another show that Lydia is nothing more than a pretty thing to keep around and if she had any character development it was accidental or only done on purpose if it moved the plot along so Scott could get his next power up.
She can miss Allison. Of course. But if they don't show her feeling guilt or betrayal...by allison's actions or even her powers, then it's a failure on Lydia's character and because it's a movie not a show, I can easily see her mental state of all of this not even being mentioned.
I don't think she's been alive this whole time. I think he's been revived somehow by the nogitsune or nemeton. My best guess is that Jeff was too lazy to actually think up an original idea for this movie, so he just pulled a bunch of leftover script ideas from season 3B.
Back during 3B, I think there were obvious plans to have more than just 1 trickster spirit. They specifically referenced the fox, raven, and coyote. Stiles was the fox, Malia was obviously the coyote, and that would've left Allison as the raven. And consider how Allison also opened the morgue door in her dream (like how Stiles opened his bedroom door and let the nogitsune in) I think Allison was supposed to be possessed as well.
But for whatever reason, Allison wasn't possessed. And Malia, who was clearly set up to be a villain, was changed at the last moment to be a good guy and then they brought her onto the show to fit Crystal's absence. So, I'm willing to bet that Jeff just took "evil Allison" from his list of shit he never got around to doing and stuck it in this movie.
Allison returning doesn't have a genuine emotional impact because Jeff Davis refused to allow any characters to actually mourn. Sure, you had a few scenes where Scott was sad, but they largely just moved on. The same way they did with everything else that should've caused some kind of trauma ie. Derek's abuse and Stiles being possessed and forced to kill innocents.
I remember back during 3B where Crystal said that she was initially told that she couldn't have Allison say "I love you" to Scott in her dying remarks because Allison was "with Isaac now", so Crystal fought them on that.
And I also remember how Jeff's reason as to why he refused to write Allison a funeral episode (and why he wrote a time-jump into s4 to skip all the mourning) was because he felt that characters being sad wasn't entertaining and he didn't want the characters moping around.
It's so annoying how Jeff puts such little effort into his work and yet remains confused as to why people don't like him/respect his craft. He can't be bothered to do the bare minimum like allow characters to work through the traumatic events they've lived through or even take the time to mourn the loss of a character who was literally there from the beginning. And then he gets to do a movie & he just stuffs it full of old story arcs we've already seen before.
Wow! A character who previously died comes back from the dead? A villain from a past season returns? Scott works at a vet clinic and hates being a werewolf and wants to live a normal life? It's so repetitive and unimaginative.
13 notes · View notes
Why does it feel like everyone is against the idea of repairs? Owl House rant
I hate that Disney has mauled our show like this, and I hate that people are just accepting its fate. I feel like I can't care how good the specials are. I feel it's hard to enjoy them in any way when it feels like their guts have been ripped out. It feels like no matter what Dana says about enjoying what we have, I can't feel good about them. There are rumors that Disney regrets what they've done, which is an obvious lie. They hate this show. They don't regret a thing. Funny, they say that past a supposed point of no return, after all, and after their CEO basically came out as against the very thing that made is company exist, that being animation. I thought learning they "regretted it" would make me feel better, but it just made me that much more upset and angry. In part, because I hate that people are accepting this. I hate that so many people are so insistent everyone shut up and take what we can get. HOW can I enjoy what we get?! How can I be happy in the slightest?! It's not right! None of this is right! I hate that this is all we're getting. Why are people so accepting? Why does it feel like everyone is so ANGRY at the idea of a continuation? Why does it feel like no one wants one? I don't want a spinoff, I want a proper show.
Supplementary material doesn't make me feel better. It makes me feel much worse. Everything about this situation makes me feel terrible. With all due respect to Dana and the creative team, I really feel more pain than anything else when I think of what they have to work with. I know they told us not to see this in a negative light, to see what they were able to do regardless, yet it's very hard to feel anything but sadness and rage. I feel like I can't enjoy what we have. I feel like what we have is just a shallow version of what we should get. Sometimes, that's not enough. It all feels hollow. It all feels fake. It feels wrong. I'm upset and angry. I'm terrified of the ending, I'm sad and angry. How is this good? How can I feel happy when I feel so robbed and sad? How can I enjoy the little scraps we get? How can I enjoy what the crew gives us when we know it's been smashed and dashed to pieces? How is anyone remotely okay with this?
And nothing makes me more upset than "accept the inevitable" attitude pervading the fandom. Nothing makes me feel more upset than people insisting it's too late, insisting that Dana only wants spinoff material, and the feeling that people are constantly insisting we should give up and never hope for any fix to the massive mistake whatsoever. It feels like some people are saying it would be sacrilege to fix it. I don't want a sequel, I don't want a spinoff, I want the show to be fixed, and yet I feel completely alone in this. I feel anxious every time I think about it. I feel so upset and helpless, and I'm terrified of how I'm going to feel after the end. I feel worried, I feel angry, I feel sad, and I feel depressed. It feels like this whole thing has poisoned all my good memories of the show. It feels like I can't enjoy what we're getting. It feels like that is all just a hollow attempt to make sure the show can't be fixed. It feels like capping it off instead of straight up canceling it was an excuse to make sure no one could ever repair it ever again. It feels like no one wants to fix it. It feels like we're supposed to be ecstatic that we got a few episodes when everyone was so upset just a few months ago. It feels like everyone has given up and moved on.
Further, I know Dana Terrace said that it wasn't homophobia that shortened it, and frankly, I don't buy that. They made this decision before season 2 even aired, claiming it was about money, then about the age demographic and serialization. Everyone keeps using the same excuse that if they didn't want a gay show, they wouldn't have had it, yet that doesn't make sense. They could just as easily be pretending. That logic is about as inaccurate as saying that Disney can't be racist/sexist because they feature black people and women. Disney has an extensive history with those and general intolerance of most people. And we must keep in mind that For all the money they make off female protagonists, their most successful films prior to the Disney rennaissance came out before women could own bank accounts in the United States, in 1974. They were incredibly sexist, made Snow White for instance in the 1930s, when many of their staff likely believed women shouldn't vote. Having people that are oppressed in their pictures, and hating those people, is standard procedure in Disney. Having characters who aren't straight white men does not mean they can't be bigoted. Saying the existence of gay people in a Disney work means that Disney can't be homophobic is just ignorant of the basic realities of civil rights. They let the show go a little to make it seem like they're in favor of LGBT rights, then pull the plug. Funny how they do that when they fail to promote the film that has LGBT main characters. And funny how they do that when they have to be pressured into restoring an easily missable kiss into a film. And, gee, FUNNY, HOW THEY DO THIS AFTER ALL THE CREATORS BACK IN MARCH COMPLAINED ABOUT THIS. Disney is a company of malice and cruelty, that has broken copyright, taken money from war criminals, abused their actors and staff, manipulated law to their heart's content, controlled the animation industry with an iron fist, and now, abuses our favorite shows. They would rather all of us stop watching than allow a single white male bigot to leave the seats. They are NOT your friends. They are NOT kind people, this company is a monstrous steamroller hellbent on control and an alter to heterosexual cis white male dominance. They will be dragged kicking and screaming into the future.
I feel so sad and so angry over the ending, and I feel like no one shares these feelings. I feel like I can't enjoy what we get, no matter what Dana's reassurances are, and I feel alone in that. I feel like people are against the idea of a repaired show and I don't understand that. I don't understand why it feels like everyone has completely given up. How can I feel excited about this? How can I feel any sort of joy when my favorite show has been fubar’d? I feel completely alone in my feelings of just wanting this little show fixed. This show we all care so much about yet it feels like everyone is against fixing.
4 notes · View notes
galaxy98 · 2 years
Text
Thoughts on the SERIES FINALE of Amphibia:
Man…. It’s hard to think that this show came out just a few years ago.
Even though I started watching the whole thing before season 3 premiered, it was nice having to be along for the ride.
It’s also funny that it started off as a story about a girl being transported to a quirky little frog world to a girl getting godlike powers to stop a moon from literally crashing into the planet.
The moments that I thought were bizarre (other than the moon of course), was the scene where Anne was in that dimensional realm. The fact that the guardian had to transform into a cat for Anne’s sake is very funny to me. It makes me think that they’re supposed to be the Amphibia equivalent to God.
As for the emotional moments, I’ll admit, I didn’t exactly cried at any of them. But I did get this weird feeling in my throat. It was a feeling of sadness, if that makes any sense. The part where Anne says her final goodbyes to Sprig is kind of heartbreaking when you think about it.
At the very beginning of the story, Anne was the only one (other than Ivy) who ever wanted to be around him. For as much as the citizens of Wartwood know his name, they aren’t really his friends. They’re just frogs that know him in passing. Not to mention the Plantar family name was tarnished for a while prior to Anne's arrival. Sprig had every reason to be torn up about it. But like everything else in life, even if certain things are left in the past, the memories remain for as long as they can.
Which brings me to the ending.
Like I said before in another post, even if they did had the choice to go back to Amphibia, there's a chance that they wouldn't be able to do so regardless. According to the time skip, they're about 23 years old and while Matt would go on to say that they still had a whole future ahead of them, the show made it very clear that they've done a lot since they left. Anne is now a herpetologist, Marcy pursued a career into web comics, and most importantly, Sasha is going all around the world to help kids with their problems.
Because they took what they learned from Amphibia and applied it to their life back on earth.
That's what makes the show so special.
Even if we can't change the things that happened in the past, we can still learn from it and try to be the best versions of ourselves.
On a related note, I decided to cancel the Anne, Sasha, Marcy, and Me essay that had i planned prior to the finale for two reasons.
I wanted to do my first multi-chapter story of Deltarune on AO3 that's been on my mind since January.
Amphibia is a show that I can't just describe with words alone on a computer. You have to see the show for yourself to fully understand what it's like to relate to the characters. Not everyone's experience is the same, me included. I don't exactly have to make a novel-length essay to tell you that I relate to the girls. Because I already know that I do. But while no one is a monolith, it is powerful enough to invoke this universal feeling. Either way, you shouldn't just to take my word for it. If you happen to be a newcomer or an experienced fan of the show, you should take the chance to watch/re-watch it for yourself.
HOWEVER
That is not to say that Amphibia is finished with me. I still have a few ideas in my head that I like to show off. But right now, I just want to keep myself focused without having to add any extra stuff to my agenda.
12 notes · View notes
cinematricksbooksins · 10 months
Text
Toxic Mean Girl Gatekeepers
I like TikTok as much as the next person. I won't lie when I say I also enjoy Booktok from time to time. While I haven't found the greatest of recommendations on there, I have found some fun mindless reads off an on. When I first started watching Booktok videos and lives, I thought it was a nice community. Don't get me wrong, there are some genuine and nice people on there. However, in more recent weeks I have seen nothing but toxic, hateful, mean girls attitude, and gatekeeping mindset within all of the drama. It almost feels unwelcoming in certain aspects.
I've seen booktokers belittle and make mocking videos over people of certain genders just getting into reading and wanting to share their journey. Mostly it's because these individuals get more views and followers in two videos than these seasoned booktokers have. It's not the posters fault, so why bully and gatekeep reading or even making book related content? At least they're reading! Books and reading should never be gatekept.
Another thing I've seen is readers and authors going after each other. Leave each other alone. If a reader didn't like your story or doesn't want to read your work it's not personal. They have their own tastes. For readers, authors can't win with them when it comes to certain topics or they've been belittled and bullied for asking people to leave any critiques and reviews of their books.
Don't even get me started on the lives. Like I said, there are plenty of nice and welcoming booktok lives. However, one I've seen for almost a year now has moved from being welcoming to having horrible toxic mean girl energy. They don't get many views. Normally their audience is 3-12 people. They used to engage with people like crazy in the comments. However, in more recent months, unless you have the followers to go live with them...they won't engage with you. It doesn't matter if you are a reader, author, or writer. No huge following...no engagement. This was sad for me. I used to engage with them, but now they won't even talk to me because I don't have the viewers. I'm not the only they've done this too either. People who have been here for over a year, supported them, engaged with them, are just cut off and ignored simply because of a follower count and lack of videos. Another issue is they claim to not want drama and to stand up for their indie authors and friends, but i have seen the cattiness between them or others that come on. I've seen the backhanded comments about authors they "refuse" to name and how they persuade each other to remove books and not buy books from people they deem "horrible". Yet, they refuse to say what the author did or who the author is. They've even texted about people in the live chat while on the live and laughed about it. I don't know, it comes across as very mean girl energy.
I don't know. Just a few things have been bothering me recently with seeing the toxic side of booktok for once. I'm not one to post. I barely have any videos up on my page as is because I'm just not one for content creating. Regardless, I thought about posting books I've been enjoying or books I bought that I can't wait to get to, but now...I just don't think I want to. I'd rather keep it to myself and not share than have a bombardment of bullies, mean girls, and gatekeepers. I get every clique on the app has these mentalities, but I've just been flooded with Booktok specifically recently and it makes me sad. Just when books were becoming popular again, it seems like its starting to die off because of all the drama. What are your thoughts on booktok? Has it become more toxic over the years?
0 notes
sirchubbybunny · 10 months
Text
Someone I follow mentioned that he was changing his name and found one that he likes, though there's others he's considered as well if I remember all that correctly.
It made me think about what I'm going through now. I've told my friends about the strained history I have with finding my name and how it's been an uphill battle. If you've followed me for years, you probably remember the brief period I tried going by Andros and a time an old mutual suggested I try Xavier - which was super different. If I kept Andros as a first name, I'd still go by AJ to keep it short. It was just swapping first names without losing much, so it's fine.
That didn't last, nor did names like Alexander, Aaron, or Adrian. So, I just settled on Adam and hoped for the best. If I peel the layers back, I can see things I like about it - even if it's trying to attribute it to media like Degrassi or Power Rangers for better or worse.
Well, here I am again. After years of toxicity from my family (and how the only time my full name has ever been uttered by the only person who knows it was in a negative way, like how a parent shames you), I don't associate with this name anymore. It doesn't feel like me, rather a pen name that I've adopted. I've told my friends this and they said I deserve decency to be called whatever I like. I told the aforementioned person this and they said the same while also apologizing a bit for having a hand in this mess.
Thanks, I guess. What's done is done so it doesn't really matter. I told said person that with not identifying with my name, that means last name too, and I'm glad I didn't change my name since that's an expensive and stupid mistake. When asked what I plan on doing, I said I want nothing to do with my family name or theirs at this point. It's just a pen name or pseudonym. Plenty of artists do it, so why not treat it the same way.
If I find a name I do like, nobody is getting the privilege to know it because I refuse to get hurt again and have my name feel like a slur or a curse you keep under your breath. They and my family singlehandedly ruined that for me and everyone else - including my friends who I opened up to even though I trust them enough to not treat me like that. I also asked if it's sad that I identify more with the nicknames they've given me over the years than this because it's the only time part of who I am sounds safe with then. I still don't know.
So where do I stand now? While I rationally know I have a say and choice, I don't. I've spent way too much time, labor, and courage to get my bigoted family to call me by two letters. I've spent too much time trying to expunge my past to be here. It's just easier to embrace another name in the privacy of my mind than it is to get others on board.
"Just smile and wave, Kowalski. Smile and wave." is the mantra for now. I'll answer to this name regardless. It wouldn't technically be wrong but again, it's not like I have a say. It's funny though. I've spent years working on a list of pen names that I could utilize for my career or character trees, only for my "name" to become one of them. I still don't know if what I have in mind flows well, but I guess that's for me to keep to myself.
0 notes