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tommykinard6 · 2 days

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I love your headcanons!

Why do you think Tommy has a difficult relationship with sex and how does that show?

Also do you have any more ideas about the emergency contact one? Like the first time they get a call from the hospital...

Yessss thank you so much for asking about those headcanons! I’ve been wanting to talk about these.

I actually just got another ask about the emergency contact and I’m going to go super in depth for that, so stay tuned!

But why do I think Tommy has a difficult relationship with sex? I’m so, so glad you asked. This is one of my biggest headcanons.

However! Please read with caution. TW: for a form of self h*rm involving sex, self hatred, and internalized homophobia.

Tommy was extremely closeted for most of his life. When he was at the 118, he couldn’t even accept himself. But at some point, he stopped being able to ignore it. For me, this might be when he realized he liked Sal (see my other post).

Now for some people, exploring your sexuality includes a *ahem* wild phase. To me, Tommy had two parts of this phase. The first one was…not great.

Tommy was a self loathing closeted man. He hated himself for being gay. He wanted to be “normal”. So when he stopped being able to ignore it, he thought he could “get it out of his system”. So he went to bars outside of LA (he wasn’t risking bumping into anyone he knew) and hooked up with any man who showed interest. He wasn’t picky. He was just more focused on getting out of this “phase”.

So he hooked up with a lot of men. And he didn’t care about himself at all. In fact, he out right hated himself every time. So it devolved. If something didn’t feel good, Tommy leaned into it because he saw it as punishment. He used sex to punish himself and to hurt himself.

I’m not quite sure about how he pulled himself out of it, but we’ll go with this. My idea is that he had a sexual partner who caught onto what was going on, that Tommy secretly hated something happening but refused to stop on his own. The partner shut down the event and when he called out, gently, Tommy on what was happening, Tommy broke down. The partner held him and listened to his garbled story and talked him through it. Instead of the hookup, they spent that night just talking, with the partner trying to get Tommy to see what was happening and get him out of the slump.

And it didn’t fix it. Tommy continued this pattern for a couple more hookups, but he started to get discontented and uncomfortable. Around this time maybe, the 118 got Bobby Nash and the dynamic started changing. Sal was gone and working with Hen, an openly queer firefighter, started to shift how he looked at himself.

So Tommy stopped the hookups and started working on himself. He couldn’t quite face himself still, but he worked on liking himself outside of his sexuality. He started laying down boundaries when he hooked up. And then he left the 118 and started therapy. He was ready to start over. He was tired of the pain and the self hate and the cycle he’d been stuck in for so long. He wanted what he’d seen others have. He saw Hen with her wife and he wanted a bond like that and he knew it could never be with a woman.

Skip forward all this time and he’s learned to be gentle with himself. He finally loves himself. He has embraced his sexuality. Maybe he’s still friendly with that past partner or maybe they never spoke again, idk. He’s had some relationships but nothing’s really stuck. Then he meets Evan Buckley.

He meets Evan Buckley and he feels the sun for the first time. And Evan is still figuring himself out and Tommy not only really likes him, but also wants to make sure Evan doesn’t make the same mistakes he did.

Does that answer the question? Let me sum it up.

Tommy used sex to punish himself and those were his first real experiences with guys. So even now, in healthier relationships and with better mindsets, he doesn’t do the hookup game anymore and is very shy of having sex too soon. He doesn’t have sex without knowing and trusting the person.

Y’all I have no idea if this made sense, but this is literally the premise of a story in my brain.

#911 abc #9-1-1 #911 show #tommy kinard #911 season 7 #lou ferrigno jr #bucktommy #evan buckley #911 spoilers #tk6 answers #tk6 muses #911 meta #tw: mental health #tw: self loathing #tw: self destruction #read the tws

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bucknastysbabe · 17 days

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Do you have any thots about yan!Criston

TW: manipulation, grooming, age gap, verbal and emotional abuse. Bad bad pookie

I’m a mess but I’m currently in the process of writing a darker Criston when he becomes Lord Commander.

He’s already got a darkness to him. Like so much shame guilt and anger??? And in the book he’s stone fucking cold there’s not much indicative of his personality except for being straight forward, still a shred of chivalry for asking for a fair fight, and devotion.

So I like the emotional aspects of him in the show, how he can be stone cold to rage, and the way the show made him very devoted to the faith regardless of his immoral actions. Also the insane devotion and possessiveness he def acts without thinking sometimes.

I think he’d most likely latch onto a daughter, having his newfound power is intoxicating. Esp coming from his lowborn background. It may have started innocent as that’s Alicent’s girl but develops when she gets older. By the time of the dance I’d sense a grooming? scenario.

Everyone’s busy, Helaena is going mad after B&C, Alicent is at Aegon’s bedside. Aemond is there but he wouldn’t be the most comforting I don’t believe, like he’s in Prince Regent mode. So she would be isolated. Yes, a dragon rider and needed but not yet.

I picture him taking advantage of her loneliness and affection for the man that has treated her family so well. Then just growing closer and closer, manipulating her into his plan. Like starting off having her help him write letters or assist with his Hand duties. So keeping her on a leash that grows tighter.

Criston can be charming, obviously it’s in there from episode one & a good listener. She’d be falling for his presence and simple touches, anything but being isolated and afraid again. Criston would have the princess in his lap in no time, promising how he’ll keep his precious Princess safe and comforted.

Once he has her snagged, say with a kiss that leads to some heavy petting/fingering? It’s sealed, he’s locked in and unwittingly so is she. Criston’s already planning how to keep her to himself, suggesting she moved into the hand’s tower. He’d be possessive as fuck, keeping an eye on her. Sweet for the most part until perhaps she asks why she can’t leave the tower or ride her dragon.

Sadly then manipulation is on again.

“Look how I’ve kept you safe and pleased. You want to go out and get burned by the enemies? Will you fly off and run? There’s no chance— you need me.”

See Criston is always right in her mind so she obeys. His words can be frightening and mean, eyed wild and pacing as he seems to come unraveled at the thought of his princess going anywhere. He dallies with the idea of becoming hand only so he can marry the girl and knock her up. He even gets Aemond to keep an eye and escort her around.

That went longer than expected but I think he dreadfully desires to be in power, making up for his low beginnings. He finally gets a Princess he so very covets.

#Ser Criston cole imagine #criston cole x reader #read the tws #anon chats #asks answered

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sunny6677 · 6 months

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CARNATIONS

PART 1/?

WARNING: GLITCHY IMAGERY

#bob velseb #spooky month #spooky month au #bob spooky month #read the tws #carnations au

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sky-neverending · 3 months

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Taking the Bullet - Febuwhump Day 3

Prompt: Human Shield (alt 1) for febuwhump (i'm a day late on posting this one sorry xx)

Fandom: Young Royals | TWS: shootings, assassination attempts, implied self harm at the very end, Wille blaming himself, Wille's usual panic attack things, uhh i think thats all | Rating: T |

Summary:

Someone makes an attempt on Crown Prince Wilhelms life, and Simon puts himself between Wille and the bullet.

Taking the Bullet - sky_neverending - Young Royals (TV 2021) [Archive of Our Own]

#sky writes #febuwhump #febuwhumpday3 #human shield #read the tws #young royals #wille x simon #prince wilhelm #simon eriksson #wilmon #young royals fanfic

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the-kittens-of-vol-tron · 2 years

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Drowning in Emotions

Hey everyone! I had some big emotions on Monday night so I decided to write some good old langst.

Disclaimer: The “others” mentioned in the fic are NOT the teammates, just random people

TW: Negative self perception, hint of suicidal thoughts’/ideation, just a sad fic

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Lance wiped his eyes with the green cloth to his jacket; groaning in frustration as more tears immediately replaced them. He was so tired of crying. So tired of always falling down to this level of despair.

It was a good day, he had a good day. He did everything he needed to do, he made the phone calls he needed to make, he was ahead of the game for once. But, he knew all good things come to an end, sometimes more rapidly than you wanted them too.

One message, one single message made everything come crashing down. He knew he was overreacting, he knew his brain was blowing everything out of proportion. But even knowing this didn’t stop the reaction he was facing.

Didn’t stop the tears, the hiccups that disrupted his breathing, didn’t stop the thoughts swarming his head. If he could make everything shut up, everything stop hurting, even for a moment he would.

He loved his life, he loved himself but moments like this made him feel like a waste of space, made him feel like no one would miss him. He knew rationally that wasn’t true, and this feeling would pass in due time. But in this moment nothing could sooth him.

He knew he could reach out to his other friends, he knew he had too. It was up to him to do the “right” things when his emotions snapped like this. But he was tired, and the thought of even texting someone he needed help made his stomach turn.

He didn’t want to die in reality, he just was tired of living like this. Always on the brink of a melt down, the constant thoughts of never being good enough or wanted sitting on the back of his mind. He wanted to be some ones favorite, he was tired of never being invited anywhere, never being asked how his days were, never being treated with kindness like everyone else was.

If he messed up he was always met with anger or snippy comments. Never a gentle touch, never a friendly reminder that what he did may have hurt someone. The kindness and softness he showed others was never shown to him.

He had a thick skin, little comments alone never bothered him but sometimes enough stacked on him and would break through. He knew he would be okay, he knew after some time he would be back to his positive go lucky self, but right now his world was burning and the oceans he loved so much was pulling him down; attempting to never let him come back up for air.

He knew he would be okay, but tonight he would just make the skin under his eyes raw from his jacket sleeve and let his head ache. Feeling them emotions he hated to feel but needed to.

He would be okay.

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Sometimes emotions are hard and our irrational brain wins for a bit

If you are new to my blog I built my reputation on langst

Thank you for reading <3

#langst #lance angst #lance vld #lance #lance mcclain #lance voltron #angst #sad fic #vent fic #read the tws #my writing #long post

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abiiors · 1 year

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I am done for the day and I have nothing else to do while waiting for my bus apart from telling y’all about the most fucked up sleep paralysis hallucinations I have had till date

TW - creepy shit, also mentions of murder and suicide

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So for context my usual hallucinations are feeling the bed shake (as if it’s an earthquake) and/or feeling like I can’t breathe properly which is pretty tame because I’ve gotten used to it.

Now picture this - I have a dream where I’m out with my family and we’re looking at new houses to buy. It starts out like a regular horror film where the realtor tells us that this house we’re looking at had some grisly deaths happen in it. It was two brothers (an older and a younger). One night the parents come home to a murder-suicide scene (older killed the younger then killed himself). Naturally the parents are distraught and want to sell the house which is where we come in

Now these brothers are very musically inclined and for some reason there are still guitars and a piano in the house that belonged to them. For some reason (dreamworld, remember?) we decide to sleep in the house for the night.

This is where this dream starts to mix with the reality. I remember hearing guitar strings in the middle of the night which startled me awake. Instinctively, I knew I was in my irl room but someone was touching the blanket near my feet. It gradually got more and more aggressive till I could hear the sound of it as it was being lifted up and down. Up and down.

I try opening my eyes, I try to scream but nothing works (because sleep paralysis) but I know somehow that if I move and look at my feet I’m going to see something that I don’t want to do I keep my eyes closed for a long time.

Eventually I find the courage to open them, it’s around 5:20 am. I try to get my heartbeat under control and go on my phone for a bit. Now here’s where I don’t know if this happened in my dream or in reality…

As I’m scrolling through IG, a comment comes through on one of my old posts

“The guitar and the piano sound really good together, don’t they”

I look at it, it’s a spam account and I block it quickly. Then I try to go back to sleep again. Slowly the music starts again, this time it’s notes on a piano. Slowly someone’s touching my blanket again and this time it feels like a bigger person. A bigger presence. Their strength is also more than the last one.

This time I don’t try to open my eyes, I don’t try to scream or to move so idk if I was actually paralysed this time or not. Regardless the blankets go still.

Two seconds later, I feel someone climb into bed with me, I feel someone breathing behind me.

The rational part of my brain knows that it’s not possible. I’m a messy person, there are always clothes and books on my bed. I hadn’t cleared my bed before going to bed, there’s no way there’s more space for another person to sleep.

But another part of my brain knows if I turned around something would happen. And I chose to listen to that part.

I know for a fact that my house is not haunted, I’ve lived here for 7 years very comfortably. Ik this is just my brain playing tricks and I also know that I’m not sleeping for the next week…

#anyway sorry this is so long #sleep paralysis #storytime #read the TWs

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pokytoad · 2 years

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yk what? I think maturity = accepting, and even enjoying, a fanfic that features an abusive take on your otp

#haters die mad ;))#get over that fatass ego babes #not hot at all #read the tws

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cottonspotten · 6 months

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*person has consented to being eaten; they’ve donated their body. they died without suffering. you can cook the meat. you will not get sick from the meat.

bonus: explain why!

#reblog for sample size etc etc #personally i would absolutely try human meat if given the chance #poll #polls #cannibalism #cottons thoughts #pinned #<- insane first post to read if youve only just discovered my blog but i want results!!! i want numbers and sample!!#cannibalism tw

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ruporas · 26 days

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dragon meat, you, and me

#marcille donato #falin touden #farcille #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #tw blood #tw body horror #tw gore #as a normal farcille fan this revival has been on my mind since i first read it and getting to watch it is like yippee!!#like messy revivals are everything - the consequences that will haunt u for the rest of the time they are alive #the initial hopeful moments where it all seemed well but quickly descend to That not being the case - losing not only the bit of evidence #evidence that your dream may work out but also someone you deeply care about in the process… marcille my Beloved #ofc wholly thruout the journey - at the forefront of it - getting falin back was the most crucial point but so wuickly :(( it was lost #on the other end its crazy to think about the compoments of falin now - human - dragon (dungeon) - marcille’s magic and desperation #the food the crew cooked (digested) - she is made of many parts!!#also i did not realize how medical it feels to draw smth like this. i dont usually explore the inner parts or use a lot of blood #in my work so rendering everything and looking up refs it felt quite magical (?)#ruporas art

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suiheisen · 3 months

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women………….. | DOROHEDORO

(by the way. this is noi.)

#spiritually this too is yuri #do you like BIG BEEFY WOMEN. magic. blood. general bizarreness and hijinks???#then watch dorohedoro #and read the manga!!! (which is drawn by a woman. who draws big beautiful waifus)#dorohedoro #anime #q hayashida #manga #blood tw

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modify-and-sever · 3 months

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if gender is what's in my pants then my gender is YOUR MOM lol anyway yeah I heard you're nonbinary do you have a penis. are you girl agender or boy agender. are you girl nonbinary or boy nonbinary. you have multiple genders but like are you more girl or boy. ok you're neither but are you more boy or girl. no haha I get it like no gender lol but seriously do you have a penis. is it a boy penis or a girl penis. it's honestly really weird that you don't want to answer this question honestly I'm just going to assume you have a dangerous male penis and tell all my friends that you're a bad person

#please read heavy satire #transphobia #transandrophobia #transmisogyny #bioessentialism #prev tags are for TWs - this post is very sarcastic dont worry

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sunny6677 · 1 year

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Made something for the candy-colored tears au

TWS: EYES IMAGERY.

#spooky month #read the tws #spooky month au #kevin spooky month #pump and skid #skid and pump #skid spooky month #pump spooky month #candy colored tears au

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dragooned-speaks · 6 months

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Hello, people. So, I realized I haven’t done much recently, so feel free to recommend fandoms (that are ok for minors pls…) and, because of my radio silence, have a poem I have had… somewhere. I wrote this a bit ago, and I’m not great at poems, so please keep that in mind. Anyways,

Little Birdy

TWs: dead animal, poem, human, mentions of loss of freedom, descriptions of human nature, idk, tell me if I missed any.

Little birdy, tiny birdy,

What took thine life away from thee?

Who clipped thine wings so sleek, so smooth?

Who shot thee with the cold hard truth?

To people, taking life is a must,

Driven blind by greed and lust.

Oh, birdy, baby birdy,

I’m so sorry I have failed thee.

Return, birdy, come back baby.

One day, maybe, just maybe.

Please, come back my child,

I begged as I cried one night.

Please, I miss you so.

I’m sorry we have stooped so low.

Come back, rebirth, rise from the ashes.

I cry as my mind and heart clashes.

Stay in this hole that’s my heart.

My baby, we can’t be apart.

It’s too soon to let you go.

Maybe one day, maybe tomorrow.maybe tomorrow

One day, I’ll see you again.

The only question is when.

For this world, this barbaric earth,

Money is what trouble’s worth.

#dead bird #human nature #idk #evil #the worst of evil #im sorry if thats a fandom…#yeah #idk..#umm #have a good day #dragoon writes #read the Tws

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zosanbrainrot · 2 months

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first part of my WCI Zoro AU comic!

sorry Sanji not only am I late for your birthday but also all you get is pain shdjjd

01 02

I really wanna draw a happy birthdayboy Sanji all smiley and wobbly 💗💗💗 but cant sketch anything new rn and cleaning the comic is much easier, no thoughts, head empty

Anyway, ramble time

I don't have much experience with making comics, the żabka AU one being the one I roughed out first, but it was much less complicated. I dont recall making a serious comic effort before that... I now have a newfound admiration for drawing fight scenes, found it extremely hard lmao Generally I keep second guessing myself, always thinking I should have added more panels to make what's happening more clear, not sure if the flow of it is right. Even though I already moved onto cleaning I still keep making changes to the sketched out panels that were supposed to be final lol I also second guess the plot I'd planned, maybe I didn't think this characterization through enough? What if people dislike it?

But! If I keep tweaking and overthinking it I'll end up never posting it and I don't want that. And if I focus on other people's judgement I won't find joy in making art and I don't want that either.

So here's to sharing art! Regardless of mistakes and doubts 💗