#Prior to exams I could blame it on uni work but now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mysticnfantastic · 5 years

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I wanted to request the rfa with a uni student mc who gets really stressed because of exams and snaps at them out of frustration and their response (like would it turn into a bigger argument? Or would they be more patient. If it got bigger how would they make up)

Gods, I really feel this, as a stressed-out college student, oof. I’ve been snapping at everyone lately, oof. Sorry requests take me forever to write, I’ll be trying to write more often but I can’t promise anything.

Jumin:

As someone who is often under immense pressure and stress, it is not a foreign emotion to Jumin.

Granted, he is skilled at containing his feelings and keeping emotions and stress under control for the most part, and as such he may not quite understand why you’re suddenly acting out from it. His poor experience with others means that he expects everyone to act as he does.

Initially, he might be shocked when you yell at him to just leave you “the fuck alone” and finds himself at a loss at how to react.

Would likely just leave the room in subtle anger, not wanting to make the situation any worse, now feeling an overwhelming ache in his chest to hear you speak that way to him.

He’d take a bit to cool off, and then realise that he should have been kinder and less patronising.

Hesitantly, Jumin would go to you and apologise, and since he has no prior romantic experience before you, he’d likely turn up with flowers - red roses - as an apology because he read it in a book once.

You’d be dearly touched, of course, and apologise for snapping at him.

If you needed help learning or studying, he’d happily hire only the best tutors and professors to personally explain things for you.

Yoosung:

He’s basically in the same boat as you - you’re both stressed, nervous and frustrated with exams being right around the corner.

As such, when you snap at him after he asks if you ate and hydrated properly out of love for you, he’d be deeply upset, how could he not be?

He was just as stressed as you were, but at least he was trying to be a good, loving boyfriend and you were treating him like this!?

Initially, he’d be distraught, and feel your words stab his heart.

He’d feel offended and leave in a hurtful huff, not sure what else to do, but he did not wish to deepen the argument, either.

You better be the one to apologise to him. He’d eventually re-evaluate his own actions and try to beg for your forgiveness, since he loved you so much and would come to blame himself for you snapping at him, so you’ll have to take responsibility for your actions and assure him this is entirely your fault.

He’d offer to study with you and help you get work done.

After exams, you two hole up in his dorm and watch Netflix for a whole weekend.

Zen:

He was stressed out himself during this time, with attempting to juggle roles and music recordings.

As such, when you snapped at him, Zen immediately snapped back. Neither of you meant to be cruel or venomous, but your frustrated states caused the situation to heavily escalate.

Before you knew it, you were yelling at one another and arguing like a storm. It was wrong of both of you, but at the moment you felt so angry that you did not bother to think about what you were even saying.

His words only fuelled your rage, and vice versa, until you couldn’t take it anymore and burst into tears.

This caused him to freeze, wide-eyed as guilt and realisation hit him in the gut, all his words coming back to him as he swallowed his regret. He’d want to comfort you but would be so hesitant. He raised his voice at you…he made you cry..!

You were regretting your words, just like he was weeping because you hated how you exploded for no reason.

With immense hesitance, Zen would apologise, trying not to cry himself, as he attempts to wrap his arms around you. You let him.

Jaehee:

Jaehee is no stranger to be being stressed out of her mind

She really does understand what you’re going through - especially after working for Jumin for so long.

Out of all the other RFA members, she’d be the one to not take your harsh words to heart, knowing it’s all just frustration from your end and not something which you actually mean to say.

As such, she wouldn’t yell or get offended. She’d leave, but only to come back five minutes later with a cup of tea to soothe your nerves and a snack to make sure you’re taking care of yourself whilst studying.

You’d likely break down in tears when she comes back, thinking that she’d hate you for snapping like that, and apologising through sobs.

Hearing you cry would hurt Jaehee’s heart, and she quickly comforts and holds you close to her, assuring you that you needn’t worry because she gets what you’re going through.

She’d likely snapped at you herself a few times - and would want to try and ease that stress to the best of her abilities.

Saeyoung:

He was trying to get you to take a break, joking around and trying to make you laugh. Unfortunately for you, he was distracting as all hell, and not at all funny in that situation.

You had tons of work to get done! You didn’t have time for this.

Admittedly, you should not have snapped at him, and regretted it as soon as the words left your lips. On the other hand, you did not expect him to take it further than just leaving the room to let you study. Instead of that, he started to argue with you and call you out, which only fuelled your rage more.

Especially since he was being such a hypocrite! He always complained and snapped at you if you did anything to distract him when he was working, so how was this any different?

Both of you said nasty words which neither of you really meant, and both ended up severely regretting.

When all was said and done, you turned away from him to face the wall, not wanting him to see you as tears gathered in your glassy eyes, as you tried to conceal your sobs.

Saeyoung, however, knew you well enough to know you were about to cry and he hated that he was the cause. He hesitated, not sure what to do.

Swallowing a lump in his throat and with a heavy heart full of guilt, Saeyoung slowly walked over to you and tried to wrap his arm around you from behind, placing his chin on your shoulder and muttering an apology, pleading you not to cry. He’d then make some silly joke to lighten the mood, and his heart would feel lighter when he heard you laugh.

- Mod Ama I didn’t include V just because I wanted to save time and post this if anyone wants me to add v please send in an ask for it!

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icharchivist · 4 years

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The organization around this quarantine thing is such a disaster tbh.

About two weeks ago, two of our teachers were the ones who were especially worried.

There was the first case of covid19 in the nearby high school, and our uni, being a linguistic one in a region nearby the Italian border, has a lot of connection with centric pandemic regions in Italy, before they even shut down themselves.

Two of our teachers were concerned bc, as we just came home from holidays, a lot of people connected to the Italian branch came back to the uni as well, and nothing was really done about it.

One of my teacher was especially mad bc there was no soap in the bathrooms of the uni for a week at that time. She told us then that she will no longer note our presences for classes (mandatory esp for those with scholarships), and encouraged us if we were scared, knew we would be weak to the virus (asthma and such), or if we knew people who were, to not go to school anymore. Told us specifically to take pictures of the soapless bathroom so if the administration bothered us, we’d send them picture going “you’re endangering us”

I’m asthmatic. I have a lot of breathing problems in general, due to a nose malformation that makes it hard to breath and flow normally. and i have allergies. Hell my seasonal illness involves coughing, headaches, nothing flowing from the nose, and lung pains, feeling tired, all those stuff. I can’t even bring up how paranoid i am. Latest cycle of said sickness kicked in with a fever which worried my mom and I had to go see a doctor in urgence a couple of days ago. I’m fine. But i feel extremely paranoid. (and it’s not like France is getting us tested wth bloodtest or something - hospitals are overbooked with the pandemy so they only take in people with very urgent symptoms. Even if you get the virus unless you’re going very bad you’re encouraged to stay at home. There’s probably a lot of cases that we don’t know of because of that.)

But anyway school still didn’t stop back then, two weeks ago. We had two teachers who took the time to sit us down and discuss it with us. How the uni was not prepared to handle it. How they both thought the uni should have closed by now, that they’re discussing it, but they don’t want to yet.

For two weeks all we got as info was that everything was fine. Only need to clean your hands and cough in your arms. But we also had massive announcement just 5 days ago about how it was not even thought of to close schools. To close places with high work going. That we can’t let it stop us and all.

Last Wednesday, there were still clear announcement that there will be no stopping schools or work or anything. Last Friday, we were issued with a message announcing the massive closing of every schools and we were encouraged to stay at home.

Our uni, is, of course, not prepared for it. We got a few homeworks or class by mails with clear messages from our teachers telling us they’re not prepared and we will need to improvise - us students involved. Our exams, that were to happen in April, will be pushed back to May or June. For now.

On Saturday, they encouraged us to still go vote for the Mayor Elections on Sunday. Obviously, more than half of the population didn’t show up. But we were encouraged to do it still.

On Saturday, we were told to no longer go in groups in places. Something that is obvious of course, but a couple of days ago was not even issued. People stayed up late, disregarded the announcement. In the same breath we were told to not go out anywhere with many people, but to go out to do the election on Sunday still.

Mid Sunday, i get a mail from my uni residence saying that people living in those are encouraged to leave their room, whenever definitly or temporary to return to their family during the shut down of the schools.

I didn’t want to, considering my relationships with my family, but this was getting scary. We were still /encouraged/ but not obligated yet.

I had seen my mom on the Saturday for the doctor so we discussed the possibility, and while not obligated yet, i was a bit scared. I ended up askign my mom to come pick me up. I couldn’t move out *everything* obviously, but i took already 7 bags with me. My mom originally wanted to help me move out on Monday, but the announce scared me enough i wanted to get it done then immediatly.

Sunday evening, they announce they’re going to restrict moving around. Every shops would close. My mom works in administration soe she had to go work monday still.

Monday my mom’s employer basically tells her to take “holidays” so she doesn’t have to pay her, all while planning to pass all the mails and phonecalls to the agency to my mom’s phone. She’s sent home on Monday.

Monday evening we got the announcement from the gov that we were in complete lockdown. No longer allowed out without a permit. Only allowed to be out for reasons like grocery shopping, going to the pharmacy or doctor, or if you have jobs that are obligated for the good functionment of the country and crisis. (although they did issue you’re allowed to take your dog out but not for long)

We have to go on the gov’s website to ask for a permit. Like Italy i’ve heard.

We also have a curfew, no longer allowed out until a certain hour.

So now, today, Tuesday, the whole thing is in place. I’ve heard policemen in my street earlier today ask for people’s permit for being out.

And my uni residence just sent us a mail saying they no longer even tolerate people being inside the residence for the quarantine. We are obligated to move out ASAP, to a family member or such, or leave definitly. Today, while the gov has issued you can no longer be out without a permit you printed - while, also, we don’t have printers in our residences.

I feel glad i followed my gut feeling on Sunday to move out bc i have no idea how i could have asked help to move out today with those measures in place.

What i’m trying to get accross is how quickly those measures were taken in the past few days while it’s been a few weeks we’ve been many to worry enough to think dispositions should have been taken earlier. We’ve been thinking about it for weeks at the uni, but suddenly in less than 5 days we went from “we’re not changing a thing” to “quarantine yourself at your parents’s”.

Not to mention our President doing lots of lectures about how we’re At War, A Health War Sure, But At War And We Have To Consider It As Such. Obviously extremely reassuring to hear while you hear about the amount of death and sickness on TV.

Not like the sickness is any better either. I have a friend who’s a nurse in a part of France that is badly affected. Cases with young people starts to degenerate very quickly, even if they had no prior reasons for it to happen.

We discovered ibuprophen worsen the virus and it brought people who would have no prior situation into critical states to be taken care of.

/young people with no prior situations/, which i think is important to mention since so many people are brushing off the virus in a “it only affect the elderly or people with weak immune system”, as if this wasn’t reason enough to worry, as if we don’t all know multiple people like that around us, as if the 14days incubation period wasn’t terrifying, as if even if we get minor symptoms we don’t get to spread around a sickness that can be deadly for people with a weaker immune system. Well, if it’s so bad to understand the issue yet, i guess thus “young people with no prior situation get into critical situation” should be a wake up call. We don’t know that virus. It’s frightening.

People get recontaminated too. Which means we don’t get an immunity from healing. We can catch it again. Who knows how that may even go.

My friend, the nurse, says people keep stealing their equipment. They’re shortstaffed, short in materials, they can barely handle the crisis, not helped by the fact it’s been years that the gov keeps cutting health center’s ressources down. We’re not prepared for a pandemic that way.

Like... I read everyone talk about the panic buyer making it much more of a problem than it is. And while it’s true, it’s overshadowing that this is a Bad Situation, that we know nothing of that virus and it’s scary, and that the gov’s quarantine had been rushed into so much no one knows how to organize themselves around it.

For now it’s planned for 15 days. god knows how long it will take.

I, asthmatic currently sick with issues breathing, am stuck back with my mom who smokes all the time at home. Both quarantined. I feel lowkey cursed tbh. For years i tried to escape my family, dealing with all the issues that goes with it, and when i finally manage to do so, i get two lawsuits up my ass bc my dad is a douche and then my residence closes up bc of a massive sickness forcing me to go back to my mom’s.

I don’t know how to focus on my classes bc the organization is chaotic. I’m scared hearing the news. I have trouble breathing all day and while i know it’s nothing, i remain anxious. I don’t know how long i’m gonna stand my mom. Internet gets slower bc of the influx of people locked home to work.

i don’t care much for being quarantined itself, i can spend days in my home without problems. I don’t like being stuck with my mom and i just don’t like how we’ve been pushed into it in a complete lack of preparation for it.

I miss my home.

And it’s just France. Italy and Spain have been in those situations for a while too.

In a way that makes me even more angry that they didn’t take precaution before while the Italian gov had been warning us for weeks to be careful and take stuff into account before it’s too late. And we still waited, and we still rushed, and now we will blame everyone who is not understanding how thhe gov went from “it’s only a little flu don’t worry, keep going with your life just wash your hands” to “how irresponsable are you not to be in quarantine” in two days. You wonder then why people are panic buying, it’s not like the gov did any work to be crystal clear about the situation. You wonder people are being careless, a couple of days ago they were still told they had no reason to worry and to look down on those who panics.

EDIT: and lmao, i have been saying those stuff for weeks, for about two weeks i say it should have been taken into account, and my mom was pro-keeping-the-mayor-election-going (bc she wuld perhaps get a job out of it) and i told her then i thought it was a very bad idea to keep them going. My mom tried to convince me about how noooo, it was fiiine, we had to have those municipals anyway, “if people can go grocery shopping they can go vote” as our prime minister said, which i found horrifying (buying good is vital, electing a mayor can wait). And my mom kept insisting that it was important. And now, everyone says it was a bad idea to carry them on. Our own election house didn’t take any health precaution. Even my mom is saying “it was a bad idea.” Call me Cassandra bc i Keep Telling Them This Is Gonna Happen and no one ever listen to me and Too Bad. Ffs.

This is a mess of a situation. It’s making me extra anxious.

But well that’s how it is now I guess. Sighs.

#ichapersonal #that's super long btw if you open it #this situation is a mess it's. hhhhhhhhHH

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visionsofaces · 6 years

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Life goals and what not

I’ve just created yet another Tumblr blog. This time for something more useful than my other ones. The purpose of this one will be to keep me on track.

Why?

I’ve been slacking a lot in the last few years and I need to get back on a more driven lifestyle to achieving my goal, rather than just drifting through. I’m sure some of you would be able to relate. So here’s a bit of context:

I am 30 years old. I have completed my academic studies (a bachelor’s and a master’s degree). I have achieved all my goals already. I can say that if I were to die right now, I wouldn’t feel like I didn’t have enough time. And which goals do I mean? I’ve had a very clear idea of what I wanted to do and when in my life since I was very young. I knew at age eight that I wanted to be an architect. I went to school. I enjoyed most of my school subjects, which made it easier to get good grades without studying much prior to school exams. I graduated second in my class despite the little effort I put in studying for said exams (though I did pay attention in class).

I started university. I only tried for one university, which is the top in my country, and in this case I had no back up plan in case I didn’t get in. However, I passed the entrance exams and started a 5-year study programme in architecture. I graduated a year after I was supposed to and have no one else to blame but me. You know... I knew I could have done better if I had applied myself more. Though let’s just say that this is not something I make myself be ashamed about to the point of paralysing me. Just something to keep in mind.

At the beginning of my architecture studies, I was more into aesthetics, probably because I didn’t know better. However, by the end of my studies, I knew I wanted to do something bigger, with more impact than just eye candy designs. I can thank my alma mater for this as it really let me discover my privilege (even when I’m from a developing country) and how it is my duty to give back to others.

While in uni, I had a few jobs at different places, from call centres in my early years to architecture offices and other design related jobs. In all this time, I knew I wanted to do a post-graduate course abroad. After graduation I applied to two scholarships to join a master programme abroad. I was awarded one and the year after I moved across the globe twice while being able to study something I’m passionate about.

My master studies were great in some ways, but in others disappointing. I don’t know what it is, but sometimes you feel like you’re not challenged enough even though you are in a higher level. Basically, my master studies somehow felt less demanding than my bachelor studies. Some of my classmates felt the same, while others seemed to struggle a lot. On the positive side, I did get to travel a lot and meet new people from literally all over the world.

Then it was time to return to my home country... And things got stale. It turns out it’s not easy to find a decent job. I’m overqualified in my country so they can’t pay me accordingly and it has been a struggle to find a job ever since. Joy. After a year and half searching for jobs literally everywhere else, I found a really good one that aligned to my career, allowed me to travel to remote places and paid me well. Unfortunately... It was only temporary as a consultant. I finished my job, got to save a lot of money and haven’t had a real job ever since. That was almost a year ago. If you ignore the odd freelancing opportunities, I have nothing to show.

So here I am, searching for a job in a country other than the motherland. I’ve moved back to the country where I got my master’s degree to try my luck. And well, what luck? I’m on a job seeker visa for six months. I can’t speak the official language fluently, much less technically. For jobs, they give preference to nationals over anybody else. I am using all of my savings to be here so if this doesn’t work out, I’d not only be out of a job, but out of money. Does it sound like all odds are against me? Yup. It sure feels that way.

Now what am I doing here? Well... That’s a question I do ask myself very often and before I even decided to come here. Short answer? Peer pressure. My parents wanted me to come here. My significant other (SO), who’s a national of the country I’m currently at, wanted me to come over. His parents wanted me to come over. My friends wanted me to come over... And me? Well, I can see everything is against me so I didn’t want to come over. But if not this, what else? If I haven’t found a job in my home country, but only abroad, then I guess I don’t have much choice.

Another reason why I’m here is my SO. Now, if you want to talk about privilege... I’m here to make sure he meets his goals. Or better yet, to make sure he discovers his goals. Let’s say that there’s a lot he’s gotten away with because of the country he was born in and the colour of his skin. I guess taking care of a grown man is a bit of a saviour complex, but at the same time, nobody else seems to try to help him (?) It’s a bit of a sore subject, I must admit. On the one hand, I want to help him to improve himself in the way he wants to. On the other, I feel like I’m sacrificing too much for what I get in return. Maybe it’s a bit of selfishness combined with well-deserved anger. Maybe it’s time to get real with him. This will be a topic for another day in this sort of journal.

#goals #life #career #back on track #working hard #academic #studies #slacking #selfish

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