I think the key component to my personal reading of post-Delphi Pharma is that he's trying to be a horrible person on purpose. Not "on purpose" in the way that people have free will to exercise their own choices, but in that Pharma's "mad doctor" persona is a performance he puts on to deliberately embrace how much everyone else hates him. Basically, if people already think you're a "bad Autobot" and a horrible doctor who just kills his patients for fun, why try to prove otherwise to people who have already made up their minds about you? Just fully embrace the fact that people see you as an asshole. Don't try to change their minds. Don't plead for their forgiveness or understanding. Just stop caring. If you're going to be remembered as a monster, you might as well be a memorable monster, and eke as much pleasure and hedonism as you can out of it before karma catches up to you and you inevitably crash and burn.
I mean, I guess you could just go the route of "Oh, Pharma was always a fucked up creepy guy and Delphi was just him taking the mask off," but I really don't like that interpretation because, for one, it feels really wrong to take a character like Pharma becoming evil under duress and going, "Oh well clearly he did the things he did because he was evil all along," as if somehow Pharma breaking under blackmail/torture/threat of horrible death was a sign of him having poor moral character. As opposed to, you know, suffering under the very real threat of horrible death for himself and everyone he cares about while being manipulated by a guy who specializes in psychological torture.
The second reason is that it just doesn't make sense to write Pharma as having been evil all along. I mean...
Occam's Razor says that the best argument is the one with the simplest explanation. Doesn't it make way more sense to take Pharma's appearances in flashbacks, his friendship with Ratchet, his stunning medical accomplishments, and the few we see of him speaking kindly/sympathetically (or in the least charitable interpretation, at least professionally) towards his patients and conclude "This guy was just a normal person, if exceptionally talented." Taking all of these flashback appearances at face value and assuming Pharma was being genuine/honest is a way simpler and more logical explanation than trying to argue that Pharma for the past 4 million years was just faking being a good doctor/person. I mean, it's possible within the realm of headcanon, but the fact is Pharma's appearances in the story are so brief that there simply wasn't room in the story for there to be some sort of secret conspiracy/hidden manipulation behind why Pharma acted the way he did in the past.
I just can't help but look at things like Pharma's friendship with Ratchet (himself a good person and usually a fine judge of character) and the fact that even post-Delphi, pretty much every single mention of Pharma comes with some mention of "He was a good doctor for most of his life" or "He was making major headways in research [before he started killing patients]" which implies that even the Autobots themselves see Pharma's villainy as a recent turn in his life compared to how for "most of his life" he "used to be" a good doctor.
And although Pharma doesn't know this, we as the readers (and even other characters like Rung) know about Aequitas technology and the fact that it actually works, so... if Pharma really was an unrepentant murderer, why couldn't he get through the forcefield too? The Aequitas forcefield doesn't require that a person be completely morally pure and free of wrongdoing or else how could Tyrest get through, just that they feel a sense of inner peace and lack feelings of guilt. Pharma has murdered and tortured people by this point, and put on quite a campy and theatrical show of how much he sees it as a fun game, so why then can he not get through?
It circles back to my headcanon at the start of this post that the "mad doctor" persona is just that-- a persona. Delphi/post-Delphi Pharma's laughing madman personality is just so far removed from every flashback we saw of him and everything we can infer based on how other people see/saw him before that, to me, the mad doctor act is (at least in large part, if not fully) a persona that Pharma puts on to put his villainy in the forefront.
To avoid an overly simplistic/ableist take, I don't think Tarn tortured Pharma into turning crazy. To me, it's more like the constant pressure of death by horrific torture, the feeling of martyrdom as Pharma kept secret that he was the only one standing between Delphi and annihilation, the physical isolation of Messatine as well as the emotional separation from Ratchet, being forced to violate his medical oaths (pretty much the only thing Pharma's entire life has been about), etc. All of that combined traumatized Pharma to the point that the only way he could avoid cracking was to just stop caring about all of it. Because at least then, even if he's still murdering patients to save Delphi from a group of sadistic freaks, Pharma doesn't have to feel guilty and sick about doing it. As opposed to the alternatives, which were probably either going off the deep end and killing himself to escape, or confessing to what he did and getting jailed for it.
In that light, Pharma becoming a mad doctor makes sense. It avoids the bad writing tropes of "oh this character who was good his entire life was actually just evil and really good at hiding it" as well as "oh he got tortured and went crazy that's why he's so random and silly and killing people, he's crazy" and instead frames Pharma's evil as something he was forced into, to the point where in order to avoid a full psychological breakdown and keep defending Delphi, he just had to stop caring about the sanctity of life or about what other people might think of him.
Then, of course, the actual Delphi episode happens, and Pharma's own lifelong best friend Ratchet basically spits in his face and sees him as nothing more than a crazy murderer who went rogue from being a good Autobot. Then Pharma gets his hands cut off and left to die on Messatine. At that point, Pharma has not only been mentally/emotionally broken into losing his feelings of compassion, he's received the message loud and clear: He is alone. Everyone hates him. Not even his own best friend likes him any more. No one even cared enough about him to check if he actually died or not. He will only ever be remembered as a doctor who went insane and killed his patients.
So in the light of 1. Having all of your redeeming qualities be squeezed out of you one by one for the sake of survival and 2. Having your reputation and all of your positive relationships be destroyed and 3. People only know/care about you as "that doctor who became evil and killed his patients" rather than the millions of years of good service that came before.
What else is there to do but internalize the fact that you'll forever be seen as a monster and a freak, and embrace it? People already see you as a murderer for that blackmail deal you did, so why not become an actual murderer and just start killing people on a whim? People already see you as an irredeemable monster who puts a stain on the Autobot name, so why beg for their forgiveness when you could just shun them back? You've already become a murderer, a traitor, and a horrible doctor, so what's a few more evil acts added to the pile? It's not like anyone will ever forgive you or love you ever again.
Why care? Why try to hold on to your principles of compassion, kindness, medical ethics, when an entire lifetime of being a good person did nothing to save you from blackmail and then abandonment? Why put yourself through the emotional agony of feeling lonely, guilty, miserable, when you could just... stop caring, and not hurt any more?
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Part 10 of Ghost Kid in Gotham
>>Masterpost >> AO3
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A/N: A little side information on why this part is so late.... this was originally entirely different. I planned something else but wanted to adjusted that to what I would learn from AGIT but my copy of the book did not arrive yet... soooo this ended up as Part 10 and the original part 10 will be 11 now I guess, we will see :D
A/N(2): Oh btw AO3 link is now out! So far 3 Parts were edited and posted there! I also recently learned that editing a post does not generate a notice. So I will start leaving a comment on the Masterpost whenever a new Part is up. That should hopefully notify anyone subscribed to the Masterpost!
No work at the dinner table
It was supposed to be a normal dinner. His siblings were supposed to just meet his twin brother. Get to meet him and help him enable a somewhat normal childhood with the second chance Damian was getting with Danyal. Yet here he was hugging, no clutching his brother closer to him as he stared at their father at the head of the table furthest away from the twins.
Danyal's entire attention was on the man. There was no adverse reaction like the last time but he knew by his brother's body language that he was entirely focused on their father. The moment the man had spoken their mothers name Damian had felt how Danyals entire demeanor had changed. It was obviously the league training. The way the boy sat up straighter and his shoulders tensed.
The dinner had started relatively well all things considered. Drake had set up a powerpoint with ground rules for how their siblings were supposed to approach and not crowd Danyal. Of course they barely listened once they got to see the boy and Brown was the first one to nearly get bitten by the young boy attempting to pinch his cheeks. Damian had scowled.
But he had also watched on with fondness as he reluctantly had let go of his brother. He knew he was developing an unhealthy clinginess. But could they blame him? He had believed his brother to be dead for eight year and now finally got im back. Damian believed that a little protectiveness was well in his rights.
Brown had no business in teasing him about his brotherly display. Though he did drone when his siblings started discussing who of the two was the 'evil' twin. Did they not know that both Danyal and him were known as Demon Twins in the league? Questioning who of the two was 'evil' was rather foolish and when he voiced these thoughts he had to hide more of his puzzlement as they laughed.
He felt his vindictiveness calm when Danyal bit Brown soon after and despite him not wanting his brother to literally bite them. At least he could trust that Brown would not cause his brother sickness if bitten, he did not believe the same in regards to his elder brothers.
All it all the dinner was shaping up to be quite fine that was until their father stormed in with Richard closely following him. Damian wasn't sure how to categorize the expressions they were making but he let his instincts take over as he scooped up Danyal in his arms and chose the seat furthest away from their father. But if he had to he would at least call the face Richard was making pensive.
He did notice from the corner of his eyes how Todd choose a seat close to them and radiated a rather protective aura while glaring at their father. The next words the man spoke was enough to calm down even the last bit of excitement their siblings had for meeting Danyal as they all soberly waited for what their father had to say.
"I have been able to reach Talia."
Which brought him to the current situation. He felt how the air tensed. His mother had always been a difficult topic for all of them and he could not blame them. She had a rather strange way of showing love especially with the strong influence grandfather used to have on her.
"Danyal is not supposed to be eight years old." Damian's eyes narrowed as his hold once more tightened on his brother. What did father mean by that? Of course Danyal was supposed to be the same age as Damian, but he had died and only gotten revived recently.
"Bruce, maybe we should…" Richard was interrupted by their father laying out a stack of papers. The man's eyes were hard, clearly unhappy with whatever his mother had done and Damian couldn't blame him for that. He himself still felt conflicted whenever he thought about his mother reviving his dead twin after eight years.
The youngest Wayne looked down at the twin in his arms. Noting how his brother's eyes flickered between blue and green as they were trained on their father.
"Danyal al Ghul died at the age of eight. Talia revived him shortly after he had died." His head snapped up. What?
"According to what Talia was willing to share. Danyal did not come back the same, unable to handle Danyal she had then placed him in an adoption Center in Chicago hiding any traces she could of his revival."
"What?" The whisper was out before he could stop it. Todd was glaring even more intensely at their father. Unspoken works of Danyal having gone through the same Pit Madness that Todd had were clearly there. Richard had moved to stand by Damian and Todd, a grounding hand placed on each of their shoulders as the information ran through all of their minds.
His twin hadn't been revived recently but eight years ago?
"With that information I traced it back as far as I was able to. A family with the name of Fenton adopted him and he lived with them for eight years until he was declared dead about a month ago by a governmental institution."
Their father finally took a seat looking right at him and his twin.
"When did you find Danyal?"
"Danny. He likes to be called Danny." Damian said more or less out of reflex, he would recognise if shock set it wouldn't he? He was trained that way. Richard was squeezing his shoulder and his brother was squirming in his arms.
"About four days ago. Kid appeared in my apartment out of nowhere. Thought Dickie was playing a prank on me."
Their father hned and Todd's words. "That still leaves a good three weeks of no information between Dan-ny's revival and his foster parents declaring him dead."
"A governmental institution declared him dead?" Drake questioned further. "Not the police? Was there even a search?"
"They searched for him for a week before he was declared dead." Richard was the one speaking up this time. At the imploring looks of their siblings the elder brother shrugged. "I looked through the reports Bruce had laying all over his office when I…. talked with him."
Clearly there was more to the 'talk' than his eldest brother was willing to say but Damian would question that later more. Right now his focus was his twin. "So something must have happened during that time that not only deaged my brother but also brought him to us. Mother did not have a hand in this this time?"
Their father shook his head no. "If I can believe her words. She left him alone knowing that once Danny regained his mind he would not seek out the league to keep you safe. Talia denies having anything to do with his relocating or dealing. But she did admit to having had someone occasionally check in on the boy but refused to say anything more on that matter."
Damian's hold tightened once more and his brother was obviously squirming in his hold now, wiggling to find a more comfortable position. He heard a chirp and his eyes looked down at the blue eyes of his brother staring up at him.
Something has happened to his brother to leave him in this state. For now he could ignore that his mother had withheld the information that his brother had been alive all these years. He could ignore the hurt he felt over it and he could ignore the fact that Danyal had not attempted to connect with him to protect Damian once more. He would focus on finding out what had been done to his brother and to ensure that he would be safe now.
His siblings were discussing something around him but he was not really listening as his focus was on his brother in his arms. This time he would get to be the one to protect him.
"Ahbak, Danny." He whispered to the boy looking at him with big blue eyes and he could feel Richard squeezing his shoulder once more as he buried his face in his twin's hair.
"Ahbak, Dami!" The child in his hands told him and Damian once more swore, he would find out what happened to his brother and he would protect him. Everything else he would deal with once he ensured his brother's safety.
"By the way, I have one burning question!" Brown suddenly piped up interrupting whatever discussions were going on and stared at the child and the teen that were supposed to be twins of the same age. Their serious discussion was forgotten as she broke the tension that had built up with her next words.
"Who is the older twin?"
The short silence spoke volumes as Danmian raised an eyebrow at his siblings and Danyal made another chirping noise.
"It's obviously Damian."
"But from what Damian told us I would think it's Danny."
"Did you see how feral he is? He is the youngest."
"But Damian said Danny was protective! That is the mark of an older sibling!"
"You shitting me? He's the younger."
"Older."
"Guys this sounds awfully a lot like the evil twin discussion from earlier…"
"Yea the little shit is the evil younger twin."
"No, the stabby one is the evil younger twin."
"You're biased, because he tried to kill you before."
"And you're biased because you're the favorite chewtoy."
All his siblings were imbeciles, even his twin brother with his recent habit of biting anyone that came too close was better behaved than them. He clicked his tongue, though he smiled fondly as down at his brother who suddenly had started to hiss at Brown for trying to pinch the boy's cheek to prove something. "<tt> Danyal was… is the older one between the two of us."
Also Damian could feel Pennyworth staring at them all from the passage door to the kitchen with high disapproval as he was ready to serve dinner but apparently refused to do so until father put away the stacks of reports in regards to his twin, that obviously broke the butlers no work at the table rule.
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