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broke her daughter's legs in two | "bruno is orange" x hop along
synopsis: geto finds you after the village massacre, but things went differently
pairing: suguru geto x reader
themes/content: semi-canon curse au. angst. language. loss, death, mentions of possible abuse.
word count: 1.3k
a/n: a little angst to get me out of my smut era (jk i have so much more lined up lmao) anyways once again i highly suggest listening to this song while reading :)
“suguru?” you whisper hesitantly to the man standing in your doorway. the moonlight shines through the curtains of your dorm room, illuminating him just enough to make out his figure.
he says nothing, staring blankly ahead.
“what happened?” you ask, rubbing sleep from your eyes. he slowly starts walking towards you, a pit of dread forming in your stomach as he silently approaches your bed.
you shouldn’t be afraid. you know you shouldn’t. he’s your best friend.
but you also know what happened - you had read the report earlier today.
112 villagers died.
not a single person left in the village.
concluded to be that of suguru geto’s curse manipulation.
geto set fire to the village and fled.
subject to execution.
the weight of his body at the end of your bed causes it to sag slightly as he sits next to you. the smell of ash, blood, and death hangs on his clothes.
the cicadas chirp outside your open window, filling the air between you until he takes in a shaky breath, shoulders raising ever so slightly.
“i had to,” he mouths, the words barely audible.
his eyes stare straight ahead, empty.
“had to what?” you prod, gently reaching a hand up to his back. he flinches at your touch.
“i had to save them.”
you wouldn’t understand, he thinks. nobody else will ever understand.
the things he saw in that village, the way they hurt them - the two girls. it wasn’t their fault. and yet, there they were. they put them there. in that fucking cage, like animals.
the young girls begged him, tears in their eyes. “please don’t tell.” “please don’t yell.”
he was good. he knew he was good. he had to save them.
suddenly, the old woman behind him, their captor, spat back at them, “don’t speak. you’re both going to hell.”
he did what a good person should do. he saved them.
the world is not kind to sorcerers - he knew this all too well. especially in places like these, the outskirts of society where sorcery was equated to evil and condemned, they hurt them. they blame them. they punish them. the world is a dangerous place for sorcerers.
as he sits in your bed, he starts to shake. no tears leave his eyes, but his breathing becomes ragged, shoulders heaving as he stares into the distance in front of him, eyes unfocused.
in the quiet of your room, all he hears are the crackles of the flames. he didn’t even hear the screams, the pleas, that fell from their traitorous lips. because he was doing good. he was saving them.
your voice pulls him back to reality slightly, still unable to tune out the ringing of bloodshed from his ears. “suguru,” you murmur, “whatever happened, it’s okay.”
he wants to believe you, he does. he wants to feel your hand stroking his back, but it just feels like everything is a million miles away. he’s watching himself break down in the moonlight of your room. he wants to be good.
“i killed them,” he finally utters.
the words make you flinch, even though you knew they were coming.
“i killed all of them. the entire village.”
“why?” you ask, not wanting but nevertheless needing an answer, an explanation, for what happened.
“i had to save them.”
“save who?”
“the girls.”
a sigh leaves your lips in relief. you knew it, you knew suguru wouldn’t just hurt people. he must have seen them, they must have been hurt, and the only way to help them was to burn the village down. you needed this to be true, to reassure yourself as much as him. you knew he was good.
he was your best friend, after all, and right now he needs you.
you think back to the last time you saw him before this mission, how different things were, the morning he left.
–
the two of you sit on a picnic bench, shaded by one of the trees in the courtyard outside the school. geto holds an orange in his hands, peeling it with a small knife. he was always so careful with things like this, never daring to nick the soft flesh of the fruit, a care he brought with him into every aspect of his life. he was always calculated, a quiet thoughtfulness that came second nature to him.
your eyes trace over his hands before moving up to his face, the dark circles under his eyes a physical manifestation of the exhaustion you had seen growing in him the past few weeks.
“suguru?” you get his attention.
“mhm?” he murmurs, eyes never leaving the orange as he continues working his knife around it.
you sigh, not knowing how he’ll react to the question you’ve been dreading. “are you…are you okay?”
his hands freeze for a moment, body tensing, before he returns to his movement. “mhm,” he affirms.
you want to reach across the table, grab him by the shoulders and yell that you know he’s lying, that he is so clearly and undeniably not okay, that he just needs to talk to you and you’ll do anything you can to help him.
but, of course, you don’t. instead, you tilt your head back as your gaze shifts up to the sky, bright blue through the leaves above you.
“you know,” you start, scanning the branches that shake softly in the wind, “i heard that people used to eat oranges in the morning if they weren’t feeling well, the idea of a fruit-curing fever, something in it warming and soothing. they thought it could heal sickness.”
“mmm,” suguru hums softly. without another word, he splits the orange in two, handing you half. “worth a shot,” he says with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.
–
remembering him, his kindness and hurt, your body language softens. “that’s okay,” you explain, more at ease now that you know he acted out of compassion. “where are they now, the girls? we can go help them, together.”
geto is silent. his eyes slowly move from the floor up to yours, a new darkness in them.
“suguru…” you start.
he just stares.
“w-what did you do?” you stammer, fear reappearing in the pit of your stomach, your hand freezing in place on his back.
“i saved them.” his voice is low, resigned. “it was too dangerous for them. they couldn’t live in this world, a world built to hate them. i needed to protect them. i needed to help them. and i did,” he pauses to take in a sharp breath between his rambling. “now, they won’t have to live in a world that would hurt them. it was too dangerous. i helped them. i did. i saved them.”
as he talks himself in circles, his grasp on everything becomes undone. he loses himself in his words, the mantra he so desperately clung to, the one he needed to say until he believed it.
he was good. he saved them.
your eyes widen as the realization sets in: the girls are dead. just like everyone else in the village. just like the reports said.
as he babbles out the same explanation, shock takes over your body. you can’t think, can’t breathe, can’t move, the only words leaving your mouth are “it’s okay,” over and over again, the sounds mixing with his in your room, chaos swirling in the night air as you both drift away from this reality.
“it’s okay” “i protected them” “it’s okay” “i helped them” “it’s okay” “i saved them” “it’s okay”
suddenly, your body jolts forward as you sit up in bed. the action surprises suguru into silence as he watches you, eyes following your every move as you walk to the small kitchen in your dorm room, taking an orange out of a bowl that sits on the counter.
you shove your thumb under the thick peel, tearing at the flesh of the fruit as you pull it apart in strips. juice leaks down between your fingers and drips onto the counter. holding the fruit in your palm, your bare feet carry you back to suguru. holding out a hand, you both sit in silence and eat the orange.
your voice is raspy and worn as you speak to him.
“you saved them.”
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The Underestimator Mixtapes - Post Punk Dancefloor
Two hours of mostly-'80s post punk, new wave & funk/disco/jazz-related sounds guaranteed to spin you round like a record.
Available for online streaming on Mixcloud:
https://www.mixcloud.com/the-underestimator/the-underestimator-mixtapes-post-punk-dancefloor/
Download as separate mp3 tracks in a zip file on Mediafire or Mega:
https://www.mediafire.com/file/en6l3od3e3mci8x/THE+UNDERESTIMATOR+MIXTAPES+-+POST+PUNK+DANCEFLOOR.zip/file
[Don’t be alarmed if you are denied access: In case you get the error message “Permission Denied” prompting you to download a copyrighted song via Amazon or sth, you should be aware that this is a Mediafire trick to discourage you from downloading when the uploaded file includes copyrighted material, so they can appear legit in the eyes of the copyright holders. If you close the tab and try a couple of times or more, the link will eventually appear (don’t refresh the mediafire page, it doesn’t work that way, just open the link from the underestimator post to a new tab, then close it and re-open it in a new tab a couple of times or more).]
or
https://mega.nz/file/PuwCSBwJ#m4Ywwi9aRyvsiYZhIPB7YQBaUFrYYl_yJ4CSwFd46X8
Download some more playlists posted on The Underestimator Mixtapes series, here.
Lost In Music (Sister Sledge cover) – The Fall (1993)
Adolescent Sex – Japan (1978)
Heart Of Song – Josef K (1981)
Do The Du (Casse) – A Certain Ratio (1980)
We Got Soul - Big Boys (1982)
Shoot You Down – APB (1981)
Tear You Apart – She Wants Revenge (2005)
OBCT –Sleaford Mods (2020)
Heart & Soul - Joy Division (1980)
Optimo – Liquid Liquid (1983)
Same Beat – Marine (1982)
(secret track)
UFO – ESG (1981)
Wipeout Beat – Alan Vega (1983)
Nerve – Shriekback (1984)
Funky Stuff (Kool & The Gang cover) – Lizzy Mercier Descloux (1982)
The Comb – The Waitresses (1978)
You Fascinate Me – The Offs (1980)
Crosseyed & Painless – Talking Heads (1980)
Overpowered By Funk – The Clash (1982)
Black Arabs – Black Arabs (1979)
You’Re My Kind Of Climate – Rig Rig & Panic (1982)
Black Leather - Nightmares In Wax (1985)
Love Song – Simple Minds (1981)
Bostich – Yello (1981)
Der Mussolini – DAF (1981)
Some Aspects – Chain Of Command (1983)
The Night Watch – The Bellewether Syndicate (2012)
50:50 – Sad Lovers & Giants (1984)
I Found That Essence Rare – Gang Of Four (1979)
Super – NEU! (1973)
(Cover photo: dancing in the early-'80s at Duke’s in Austin, Texas, by Ben Desoto).
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