chilchuck having to tell the party that hes worried about them and that he cares about them is sooo funny after its revealed hes a dad. you make a dad talk about his emotions??? you force him to say with words he cares?? torture for dads.
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i may or may not be planning a fic where one of the many subplots is that Jason (as Red Hood, but Danny already knows) is following/investigating Danny because he thinks Danny’s dangerous somehow. I won’t go into the details because it’s so much, but point is i have a silly little scene in my head wherein Danny goes out to work on a uni group project with Tim, and on their way to the cafe some asshole car hits a guy on a motorcycle. The Biker goes into a rage and starts cursing him out, takes off his helmet and lo and behold it’s Jason.
Mid-verbal fight with the asshole he catches sight of Tim (recording the whole thing and waving at Jason) and of Danny (potential danger he’s been investigating for nearly two weeks), and Jason gives the asshole a “this isn’t over” threat and dips. Then,
Tim, who noticed Danny’s reaction: You know that guy?
Danny: Oh, yeah, that’s my stalker. You?
Tim: Nemesis. I’m sorry he’s your what?
Bonus:
Tim texting Jason: are you stalking my classmate??
Jason: Mind your own business, Replacement.
Jason: Wait, did he tell you that?
Tim: yah
Jason: RH’s been investigating him. Why the FUCK does your “classmate” think it’s me?
Tim: dick is gonna love this. the great rh has a containment breach
Jason: DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE TELL HIM REPLACEMENT
Tim: LMAO fuck it we BALL
Jason: TIM
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I think there's something to be said for fanfiction that loves canon in a way that’s rude. Like thank you for this wonderful thematic tragedy made out of this character’s entire arc ending in death, it was emotionally and intellectually moving, but also fuck you fuck you fuck you they live, this time and every time they live, they never died, their flaws are not their undoing, actually they have no flaws, actually they save everyone, actually who cares about a story, any story, where this one dies, actually i cared about that story so much i made a new one, actually i cared so much i unmade the old one, you gave me morals and i left them for the mortal, but they’re mine now and i will never let them die, actually thank you, actually fuck you, strongly worded letter to follow
A kiss for canon and spit in its face all at once, it’s great
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Cross examine the parrot is extremely funny but what's funnier is the way Von Karma saw this coming and reprogrammed the bird's responses like only a insane person would do that for real.
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Duke, talking to Steph: So he's prime Blorbo material.
Steph, nodding: So skrunkly.
Bruce, passing by: What does that mean?
Duke: Skrunkly?
Bruce: No, the other one.
Steph: Oh, a Blorbo is like. A character that you really like and will defend to your last breath no matter what they've done.
Duke: They're like your special little boy.
Bruce: Hmm.
*later*
Bruce: You're my Blorbo, Jason.
Jason: Alright, who the fuck taught you that?
Cue Steph cackling in the background
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