#Penguin Writes: Flash Fiction | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nafeary · 3 years

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“Just Shut Up.”

⚬ Pairing: Yukimura Sanada/Reader

⚬ Characters: Yukimura, Reader

⚬ Word Count: 1.2k

⚬ Genre: Fluff, a tad bit of Angst

⚬ Warnings: Tiny description of a bruise

⚬ Event: 500 Follower Milestone Celebration [Requests Closed]

✧✎ Prompt: Requested by @juminly

2. “I was supposed to confess first!”

✧✎ A/N: Attempt #2 at writing flash fiction—failed. I’m hopeless brrrr. Anyway, my dearest penguin mum, I hope you enjoy our prickly tsundere. Everyone, please take care, eat, drink water, take your meds, and sleep 💜💜💜 I’m sorry this took so long

“You’re too cold,” he claimed as he positioned his head a little above your lap. Despite the harsh voice, his tawny orbs sought for permission before following through with his intention. “Give me your hands. You’re so clumsy, you’d end up getting sick if someone isn’t there to keep you warm.”

The last you saw of his handsome face was the crimson tint his cheeks harboured—mirroring your own flushed ones. It was short-lived, however, as he turned away from you with a heated huff.

You two had found yourselves in a tranquil meadow, away from prying eyes, and you were leaning against a tree, bathing in the dimming light of the sun. Sunset cast a golden glow as it peeked around branches and leaves, reflecting off of dewy drops. As it was wonted to be, bickering had found its way into the conversation, yet it quieted down once you took notice of the merchant‘s fatigue—but your head was full of noise.

It hadn’t taken long for his breathing to steady, his body much too exhausted to disregard this opportunity. And yet, his hands tightly clasped yours, sharing their warmth with you as though you were trapped within a fortress of cashmere blankets. You managed to sneak one hand out, lightly brushing it through his chestnut strands.

“And you’re too warm, Yuki. You don’t even seem to realize that at times.”

You hadn’t meant for these words to tumble past your lips; however, the maelstrom of your mind had different intentions. Your eyes widened for a split second, making sure that the addressed man was still tightly asleep. Relief washed over you in waves, bringing your free hand to your heart, only to feel it bellowing within your chest.

It’s not that you didn’t mean what you had said—there was so much more enveloped by your heart, begging to come free in the hopes that these feelings might find reciprocation. But you couldn’t just confess to Yukimura... it wasn’t that easy. You’d frequently burnt the midnight oil the last few weeks, weighing the pros and cons. It was either living in puzzlement, dense fog making you uncertain of anything and everything, and regretting the missed opportunities, or risking the exposure of your heart’s conquest while also risking its prosperity.

But... there shouldn’t be any menace if he cannot hear you speak, because you were certain of one thing: you couldn’t keep your thoughts to yourself anymore.

“Everything about you is warm. Most people would probably say that you tend to act cold, but the underlying intentions... they only reflect the sun itself,” you began your confession. Despite your initial anxiousness, you weren’t as afraid as you’d anticipated. In contrast, you could almost feel your heart pumping as steady as the ocean tides.

“You just have to know how to decipher your prickly words, and one would realise just how pure your intentions are.”

Never before had words flown out of your mouth this easily, any restrictions and insecurity lending them wings.

“When I’m around you, my heart loses control. My head spins and I feel fluttery, like it's full of butterflies. You make me feel... invincible—all my fears, all my anxiousness just vanishes when I’m at your side. You make me feel like I belong.”

How would he react, were he to acknowledge these feelings? Would he laugh it off, concluding it to be a jest? Would he pull you close, telling you to stop being so needy, with his cherry lips brushing your ear?

Would he... would he reject you?

“There are so many things I love about you, from your tactlessness to your awkward self-expressing. I—“ you stopped your rambling, taking note of something rather frightening.

Yukimura’s ears were red. So red they could easily rival even a blooming field of roses. He couldn’t possibly be awake?

He couldn’t be.

Adrenaline still holding you upright but the hidden anxiousness returning and settling in your mind, you rested your hand against his silken tresses once more, feeling him twitch against you. “Yuki... you’re awake, aren’t you?”

You felt him inhale. Once. Then twice. Perhaps, he was simply dreaming, an embarrassing occurrence responsible for the red rushing to his ears? Oh, why couldn’t you just shut up for once?

That’s what you theorised, at least. But he proved you wrong, swiftly raising his head as if he were a cat doused in water. Miscalculating his momentum, however, he hit your chin, making the back of your head collide with the tree’s bark.

You both groaned in pain, Yukimura holding the crown of his chestnut mop while you rubbed at the spot that hit the wood you were leaning against. But in spite of that, bubbly giggles erupted. Yuki first looked at you with perplexity, yet he soon joined your laughter. “You’re such a strange woman,” he said with a slight smile, settling across from you.

You stilled, applying pressure to the pulsing pain. “I’m the strange one? You’re the one that unapologetically hit me.”

“It was an accident!” he exclaimed, the furious blush returning once again. “Besides, it’s because you—“

He stopped himself from continuing, reminding you that he must have heard your confession—at least a part of it. You wished you could simply peek into his mind. Yuki merely continued to stare at you incredulously, his irises minuscule and his mouth slightly agape. About to nervously wring your fingers together, you noticed that your other hand was still tightly held by his.

“I’m... did you hear what I just said—“ A crack in your voice halted your timorous stutters. You didn’t even notice that you’d started play with the fabric of your obi when Yukimura pulled your hand towards his kneeling form, enfolding it just like your other one within his hands, chasing away the cold fronts that had started to pour upon you.

Maybe it was because Yuki didn’t immediately turn sour or attempt to disparage your sentiments. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking as he blinked at you, but it didn’t matter. When it came down to it, he never failed to carefully pick his words.

Perchance your trust in him was foolish, but your trepidation ceased regardless.

“Dummy,” he muttered with a slight pout before averting his gaze, “I was supposed to confess first!”

“Huh?”

“You heard me!” he shouted a bit more forcefully, lifting his face to meet yours.

“So what if I told you that I want to be together with you?” Butterflies erupted in your stomach, fluttering around, creating a sensation that could only be described as extreme exhilaration.

“I’d tell you that I want the same thing,” he admitted, his tone deepening, and the amber in your cheeks sparked with surprise. “In case you didn’t catch it the first time... I—I like you, too.”

Mirroring his earlier actions, now you were the one staring at him, absolutely flabbergasted.

“Why aren’t you saying anything? Is it that shocking that I like you?” Your slight nod prompted him to let out a sigh, bringing your bonded hands just in front of his heart. “Do you feel this? I knew you were difficult, but stop looking like a fish and just accept this.”

With the gentle tang of pine in the air, you wriggled a hand out of his tight embrace to set it on his shoulder, burying your face against his warm neck. His heart was still beating just as furiously as yours, and you nuzzled deeper into his locks of chestnut.

You felt a soothing pat at the back of your head, another arm coming around your back. “I’m sorry I hurt you earlier.”

“You should be.” In contrast to your words, your smile was no more menacing than the butterflies within yourself.

Tag List of the most wonderful sweethearts (just message me if you’d like to be added or removed): @juminly @kisara-16 @sweetlittlemouse @thesirenwashere @nad-zeta @delicateikemenmemes

#ikemen sengoku #ikesen #ikemen headcanons #ikemen series #ikemen fanfiction #ikemen scenario #ikemen yukimura #ikesen yukimura #ikemen sengoku yukimura #yukimura sanada

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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years

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Have you ever watched a movie in class/school that made you cry? Yes. I took this adulthood and aging psychology class and I forget what it was exactly the documentary we had to watch was about, but I remember being on the verge of tears because it reminded me of my grandpa who passed away.

What’s the earliest you could go to bed at night and feel okay about? Uhh, I don’t know? Just whenever I fall asleep.

What is you favorite type of lunch meat? Turkey, salami, and bologna.

What time of the year do you dislike the most? Summertime.

Do you put ketchup on your scrambled eggs? Ew, no.

What is your favorite color to wear? Black.

Are you an overachiever? No. Especially not these past few years where I haven’t done anything at all and put like no effort into anything. :/ At least when I was in school and things were better than how they’ve been the past few years I was productive in school and put effort into things and into myself. I’ve just given up.

What physical feature do you wish you had (i.e. freckles, curly hair)? Perfect teeth.

What fictional character (i.e. Bambi, Scarlette O'Hara) would you marry? Uh, I definitely don’t want to marry Bambi... anyway, I’d say one of the characters Alexander Skarsgard has played.

How long have you gone without shaving (girls- legs, armpits; boys- faces)? I don’t know, a couple weeks or so.

Did you ever go through a phase where you wrote bad poetry? Ha, yeah, when I was like 16 during my emo days. They’re so cringe.

What is your favorite thing about your life? My family.

Have you ever painted a picture of somebody? No.

How many real bfs/gfs have you had? I honestly haven’t had a real, serious relationship.

Did you enjoy your past relationships? With Joseph I did.

Name a comedy that you like. Bridesmaids.

Could you wait until marriage for sex? Yeah, but I don’t plan on getting married.

What’s the best Nirvana song? Lithium.

What was the last thing that impressed you? Hmm. I don’t recall.

When was the last time you were in a pet store? It’s been awhile.

What nationality is your last name? Irish, I think.

What’s your favorite kind of chips and dip? Wavy Lay’s chips with ranch and French onion dip.

Who was the last boy that you saw cry? My brother.

Does your mom know you do surveys? I don’t think so.

Have you ever had a serious injury? Yeah, the one that made me a paraplegic.

What was the last thing you achieved? Uhhh.

Would you enjoy being famous? I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to be famous.

What’s under your bed? Some medical supplies.

Do you enjoy travelling? Yes.

Have you ever belonged to a club? If so, what was it? I was in a couple clubs in high school and the psych club in community college.

When was the last time you drank strawberry milk? It’s been a very long time.

Have you ever managed to collect all the fast food toys in a set? Hmm, I don’t recall. I might have.

Do you have a clock in your room? Yes, apart from the ones on my laptop, TV and phone, I have an actual wall clock as well.

Did you have a good driver’s ED teacher? I didn’t take driver’s ed.

Which of Britney Spears’ songs is your favorite? Hmm. Probably Toxic, Slave 4 U, Boys, and Lucky.

Does mind over matter work for you? Sometimes.

Are you paranoid? I definitely can be.

What is the best thing about winter? Christmastime and the weather. I love that time of year.

Have you ever been truly in love? I think so.

Are you currently planning a trip? No, I wish.

How many plants are in your home? Zero.

What is your favorite possession? All my stuff.

Have you ever felt like you were too nice and way too often overlooked? Yeah. I’ve been used and taken advantage of back in the day for being too nice.

What movies have tripped you out? There’s been a few.

Did you rollerblade as a kid? Do you still rollerblade? No.

Would you ever settle into a relationship that wasn’t right for you? Do you know friends who are in relationships just so they have someone to sleep with at night? I’d like to say no, but I allowed Joseph to use and play me for 3 years, so. I knew deep down he didn’t feel the same way as I did and he didn’t want to be in a committed relationship with me, but I didn’t want to admit it. I liked the attention and the good times we had and I didn’t want to give that up. I would hope that now that I’m older and have experienced that I wouldn’t allow it to happen again. And yes, I had a friend who put up with a whole lot worse for that reason.

Would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating? I wouldn’t feel comfortable with that. I don’t want that floating around or existing at all out there.

Do you use earplugs or a sleeping mask when you sleep? No.

What summertime treats do you love? Milkshakes and ice cream.

How picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss? I mean, I have to be interested in the person and feel comfortable doing so.

What do you hate most about moving? The packing and unloading.

Do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting? I wouldn’t know.

Do you drink 5 hour energy drinks or any other kinds of energy drinks? Just the Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink.

Has anyone ever whistled at you? Not that I know of.

Do you like scarves? No. I don’t like things around my neck like that, it drives me nuts.

Is your father homophobic? No.

Do you take gummy vitamins? No. I don’t take vitamins at all, currently, although I really should.

Have you ever applied make-up on a guy, for any reason at all? No.

Who would you like to meet before you die? I mean, I certainly wouldn’t mind meeting Alexander Skarsgard.

If your dream was to be a model, and a big opportunity came up, but you had to be nude, would you take it? I don’t feel comfortable being nude when I’m just by myself, I certainly wouldn’t feel comfortable doing so publicly. Absolutely not.

What’s the most ridiculous conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of? There’s been a lot, but of course I’m blanking at the moment. Most are pretty crazy, though.

If Heaven and Hell exists, where are you going when you die? I hope that go to heaven.

Who is the person that you are afraid of losing, above everyone else? My loved ones.

What is one thing that pisses you off pretty much everyday? Ugh, seems like just about anything can. I’m so irritable and moody all the time.

Is there anyone you know that you feel should consider therapy? Yeah, me.

Do you like any of the songs on Twilight, or the actual movie/saga itself? I loved Decode and Super Massive Blackhole.

How old was the first person you kissed? He was 15 and I was 16.

Will you be a strict parent one day? I don’t want to have kids.

Last person to stand up for you? I don’t recall the last time I needed to be stood up for.

Have you been to a baby shower? Yeah, I’ve been to a few.

Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater? My mom and brother to see Candyman.

What’s your favorite high school memory? I liked the rallies and some of the assemblies.

Do you like relationships, or do you prefer to be single? Being single is best for me.

What is one adventurous thing you’d be willing to do? I don’t know. I’m such a scardy cat.

What subject at school did you absolutely hate? Math.

Italian food or Chinese food? Italian.

Do you like to make flash cards when you study? That wasn’t my usual study method, no. I preferred taking notes.

Has anyone ever told you that you’re a good singer? Ha, uh no.

Do you ever watch TED talks, live or online? I only watched those when they were shown in some of my college classes or was assigned to for homework. I’ve never watched any on my own.

I dare you to write the name of a person you strongly dislike. I don’t feel that way about anyone.

What do you think about Marilyn Manson? I have nothing to say about him tbh. <<<

Biggest trouble you’ve ever gotten into at school? I didn’t get into trouble.

Do you own one of those “professional” DSLR cameras? No.

Does it bother you when you see a 6th grader with a bunch of gadgets? I don’t care.

Did you buy yearbooks every year in high school, or did you not bother? Yeah, I got all 4.

Do you have Restless Legs Syndrome? No.

Jalapeños: yay or nay? I loved jalapenos back when I could eat spicy food. Jalapeno poppers were bomb.

Did you ever play Minecraft? No.

Did you ever have a Club Penguin account? Were you a member? Yeah.

Do you know anyone that seems to not have any common sense? Ha, yeah.

What do you think is the biggest injustice that was ever done to you? I’m the victim of gun violence that made me a paraplegic at just 7 months old.

What type of person angers you the most? Abusive people and sick, perverted assholes.

If you could change your appearance, how would you alter it? There’s a lot I’d like to change.

Describe your first relationship? It wasn’t much of one but we had the title, ha. It also only lasted a few months.

Describe your last relationship? He used and played me and then kicked me to the curb when he was done.

Can you honestly say that you always practice safe sex? I’m a virgin, but I absolutely would practice safe sex. That’s very important.

Why do you think your most favorite film touches you so deeply? You just really feel, connect, and relate to certain things, like the characters and/or plot line and it has some kind of effect on you.

What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you? Hopefully something good.

Do you feel protective over someone? My loved ones.

What perfume/cologne do you wear? I’ve been wearing this beachy scented body spray. I need to get a new one for fall.

Where did your vehicle come from? I don’t have my own car, I don’t drive.

What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to? I’m totally blanking.

What is your favorite way to eat chicken? Boneless chicken wings and chicken tenders.

It is your birthday. You hope the cake is: White with buttercream frosting.

What do you wear to bed? What I wear during the day, which is either lounge shorts or leggings and an oversized tee or t-shirt dress.

What were you doing at 8pm last night? I was eating dinner and watching Gilmore Girls.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #441

“all alone, he turns to stone while holding his breath after death / terrified of what’s inside, to save his life he crawls like a worm from a bird”

Have you ever watched a movie in class/school that made you cry? Yep, a few. What’s the earliest you could go to bed at night and feel okay about? If I'm having a really bad day, I can tolerate as early as 7:00. :x What is you favorite type of lunch meat? Honey ham, probably. What time of the year do you dislike the most? Summer is disgusting. It's too hot, too humid, too many bugs, and I just hate it. Do you put ketchup on your scrambled eggs? No, that sounds gross. What is your favorite color to wear? b l a c k Are you an overachiever? Oh, hunny. What physical feature do you wish you had (i.e. freckles, curly hair)? Maybe uhhhh big eyes. What fictional character (i.e. Bambi, Scarlette O'hara) would you marry? Darkiplier bc he is merely a misunderstood soft boi. How long have you gone without shaving (girls- legs, armpits; boys- faces)? Legs: It's been nearly a year. Pits: not that long, considering I shave them every time I get in the shower. What is the meanest thing you have ever said to someone else? I'm sure it would be something in one of the letters I sent Jason. Or Dad. Idk. Did you ever go through a phase where you wrote bad poetry? The phase never ended lmao. What is your favorite thing about your life? My loved ones. Save all the animals that die during road kill or save 1 human from a fire? Sorry, but I'm picking the animals. Have you ever painted a picture of somebody? Yes. How many real bfs/gfs have you had? Two. Did you enjoy your past relationships? Yes. Except for when I was with Tyler. Name a comedy that you like. White Chicks. Could you wait until marriage for sex? Yeah. What’s the best Nirvana song? I'm not sure, really... Maybe "Drain You?" What was the last thing that impressed you? No clue. When was the last time you were in a pet store? Several months ago when I went in to get more rats for Venus. What nationality is your last name? Irish. What’s your favorite kind of chips and dip? Plain, rippled Lays in French onion dip. Who was the last boy that you saw cry? I don't know, actually. It may have been Sara's dad, which was years ago. Does your mom know you do surveys? I mean no, it's not like it's come up in conversation. Have you ever had a serious injury? When I was a kid, there was this one time I was running down the road with my friend, and I tripped; I was a fast runner, so I skinned the everliving FUCK out of my knees to the point there was even pus. I was SOBBING, and it took weeks to heal; I had the scars for years. What was the last thing you achieved? Losing weight at the gymmmm. Staying dedicated to going. Would you enjoy being famous? No. I couldn't take all the eyes on me and even ONE person's negative judgment. What’s under your bed? A big box of my art supplies. Do you enjoy travelling? Yeah. I wish I could do it more. Have you ever belonged to a club? If so, what was it? No. When was the last time you drank strawberry milk? Not since I first tried it at elementary school. It was absolutely disgusting. Have you ever managed to collect all the fast food toys in a set? I doubt it. Do you have a clock in your room? No. Did you have a good driver’s ED teacher? No. If I'd listened to him while driving, I could've gotten myself killed while merging onto the highway. People are assholes and didn't want to move over. Which of Britney Spears’ songs is your favorite? Probably "Freakshow." Does mind over matter work for you? Not usually, no. Are you paranoid? Oh yes. What is the best thing about winter? Everything!!! Literally the only BAD thing about winter is the dry skin/lips. I love the cold, Christmas and all that comes with it, the decor, hot chocolate, snow, getting all cuddly... Everything. :') Have you ever been truly in love? Absolutely. Are you currently planning a trip? No. A trip to Illinois is just a wish right now. How many plants are in your home? None, I think? What is your favorite possession? Excluding my pets (because I don't like calling them "possessions"), probably my laptop. Have you ever felt like you were too nice and way too often overlooked? I have before, yes. What movies have tripped you out? Off the top of my head, the only entertainment media in general that has ever truly "tripped me out" was the first time I played the Silent Hill game. The movie didn't affect me to that level because I already understood the concept. When I watched Jason play it for the first time, I was SO confused and just blown away by the concept that I did loads of research and just thinking about it all. That franchise is just cool as shit, okay. Did you rollerblade as a kid? Do you still rollerblade? I LOVED rollerblading. I haven't done it in years, though. Would you ever settle into a relationship that wasn’t right for you? Do you know friends who are in relationships just so they have someone to sleep with at night? NO. I will NOT settle. Being genuinely in love with my partner is too important to me for me to ever do so. I don't know if any of my friends are in that situation. Would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating? With my current body? FUCK no. If I was happy with my body, the answer is still probably no. I'm too self-conscious and awkward with that kind of stuff, and besides, I really don't think I want a picture like that to exist of myself to avoid potential trouble. Do you use earplugs or a sleeping mask when you sleep? No. What summertime treats do you love? We have this local slushy place that is FUCKING BOMB. It may sound basic, but they have SUCH a vast variety of flavors and goodies you can top it with that it's truly just so amazing. How picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss? I am VERY picky. I have to be really interested in you. Save for how things were with Tyler... I just felt like I was supposed to. What do you hate most about moving? I. Hate. The process. Of moving. It is just so, so stressful to me. I have a very hard time confronting big tasks, and that's exactly what packing and unpacking entails. Do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting? Not necessarily. Do you drink 5 hour energy drinks or any other kinds of energy drinks? No. Has anyone ever whistled at you? I don't think so. Do you like scarves? No. Is your father homophobic? Possibly. I don't actually know. I honestly don't think he took Sara's and my relationship seriously, so that may be a sign. Do you take gummy vitamins? The only vitamin I take now is vitamin D, which isn't a gummy. Have you ever applied make-up on a guy, for any reason at all? Ha, yeah. I gave Jason a makeover once. Who would you like to meet before you die? MARK. I am so determined, alsdjfkaj;wek;rj. I just want to hug him and say thank you and ugly-cry. If your dream was to be a model, and a big opportunity came up, but you had to be nude, would you take it? No. Even if I had the body of a model. What’s the most ridiculous conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of? The fuckin' flat earth theory, probably. If Heaven and Hell exists, where you going when you die? Well, considering I have an, uh, very negative opinion of the Christian god... Who is the person that you are afraid of losing, above everyone else? My mom. The day she passes is a day I am inexplicably horrified of. What is one thing that pisses you off pretty much everyday? My life. If there anyone you know that you feel should consider therapy? My mom really could use it. Do you like any of the songs on Twilight, or the actual movie/saga itself? I love "Supermassive Black Hole" by Muse, but idk if it was actually written for the movie. How old was the first person you kissed? He was 18 when we first kissed. Will you be a strict parent one day? I never want to be a parent. If I hypothetically became one, I don't think I'd be strict, necessarily, but very protective. Last person to stand up for you? Probably Mom, idk. Have you been to a baby shower? Yeah, a few. Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater? My dad. What’s your favorite high school memory? Just... a lot with Jason. Do you like relationships, or do you prefer to be single? I prefer being in a (healthy) relationship, but I won't get into one just for the sake of having one. What is one adventurous thing you’d be willing to do? Hmmm... scuba-dive, maybe? What subject at school did you absolutely hate? Math. Italian food or Chinese food? Italian. I don't really like (most) Chinese food. Do you like to make flash cards when you study? I rarely did that. Has anyone ever told you that you’re a good singer? Yes, somehow. Do you ever watch TED talks, live or online? No. I dare you to write the name of a person you strongly dislike. Ashley. What do you think about Marilyn Manson? He's one of my favorite musical artists, but he's a disgusting dick personally. Biggest trouble you’ve ever gotten into at school? Nothing, really. I was a very well-behaved kid. Do you own one of those “professional” DSLR cameras? Yeah, I have a Canon. Does it bother you when you see a 6th grader with a bunch of gadgets? No. Did you buy yearbooks every year in high school, or did you not bother? Not every year, but most. Do you have Restless Legs Syndrome? No. Jalapeños: yay or nay? I loooove them. Did you ever play Minecraft? Nah. My niece is getting into it. Did you ever have a Club Penguin account? Were you a member? I did have one. I wasn't one of those premium members or anything like that; I just had a basic account. Do you know anyone that seems to not have any common sense? Bitch me. It's extremely embarrassing. I 100% got it from my dad. What do you think is the biggest injustice that was ever done to you? The manner through which Jason broke up with me. It left me traumatized. What type of person angers you the most? Abusive people that think only they matter and have no consideration for how their actions affect other people. If you could change your appearance, how would you alter it? I'd lose a shitload of weight, for one. My teeth would be whiter, my eyes bigger and bluer, I'd want my hair colored/able to hold color far better, I'd lighten and lessen my body hair, make my skin clearer, thin my eyebrows... I'd change a lot. What are your feelings on feminism? MANDATORY. Absolutely necessary in a misogynistic society. However, I do believe some people take it way too far to a point it is anti-man and puts women on a holy pedestal. It is about equality. Describe your first relationship? Perfect, until it wasn't. Describe your last relationship? Wonderful and healthy, but distance and our health were issues at the time. Can you honestly say that you always practice safe sex? My history with sex is confusing and complicated and I really don't know. Why do you think your most favorite film touches you so deeply? Thinking about it... it's probably because of how Simba runs from his problems and bad memories, but returns to confront them and is victorious. That's how I want to be. What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you? That I'm nice and clearly sincerely cared about them and their feelings. Do you feel protective over someone? My sisters, nieces and nephews, Sara... What perfume/cologne do you wear? It's called "Blush." Where did your vehicle come from? I don't have my own, but Mom's came from a girl at the dance studio. She ran into a deer, and the front got fucked up, but the sweetheart paid to fix it up to being operable so Mom had her own car. The front bumper is kept intact with zip ties and duct tape, but hey... it works and has for many, many years now, lol. What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to? Ummmm... I actually don't remember. What is your favorite way to eat chicken? As tenders, probably. It is your birthday. You hope the cake is: Red velvet. This year for my bday, our controlling-as-fuck family friend bought me my birthday cake without consulting ANYBODY, and I was so fucking annoyed. It was a very kind gesture, yes, but um, can I have a say, please? What do you wear to bed? Usually men's pj pants and a tank top. What were you doing at 8pm last night? Sleeping, actually. I was extremely tired and went to bed early.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''the bird and the worm'' by the used

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scifigeneration · 4 years

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Guide to the classics: The War of the Worlds

by Robert Hassan

BBC/IMDB

Spoiler alert: this story details how The War of the Worlds ends.

The latest screen adaption of H. G. Wells’ 1898 modern masterwork The War of the Worlds will hit our screens this week. Continuously in print since its first publication, the book is a literary gift that keeps on giving for producers and screenwriters. They recognise the story’s unerring capacity to find its mark with each generation.

Wells – who also wrote The Time Machine (1895) and The Invisible Man (1897) – helped pioneer the science fiction genre when he conceived this astonishing book. With an eyewitness narration that reads grippingly still, it tells of a Martian invasion of Earth.

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The new War of the Worlds stars Gabriel Byrne (ZeroZeroZero), Elizabeth McGovern (Downton Abbey) and Daisy Edgar-Jones (Normal People).

Shock and awe

Set in London, Wells depicts a complacent world; of men “serene in their assurance” of their dominion over the planet. But humans get the shock of another reality when suddenly visited upon by blood-feeding and squid-like creatures possessed of “intellects vast and cool” that are “unsympathetic” to Earthlings whose planet they had long “regarded with envious eyes”.

Penguin

An advance party arrives inside metal cylinders shot from giant cannons stationed on Mars. From the cylinders come dozens of Martians, each operating a three-legged metal “fighting-machine” that attacks London’s helpless population by means of a “heat ray”. From these “whatever is combustible flashes into flame”, metal liquifies, glass melts and water “explodes into steam”.

Fleeing like rats from a burning ship, panic spreads like a contagion. The narrator describes a breakdown of law and order, and undergoes something of a breakdown himself.

Upper-class women arm themselves as they cross the country, because traditional deference has gone up in smoke. The “social body” of organisation – police, army, government – suffers “swift liquefaction”.

The Martians, however, had become too intelligent for their own good. They had made the Red Planet disease-free but forgotten about germ theory. And so while laying waste to London, they inhale a bug; a simple bacteria “against which their systems were unprepared” and so suffered a “death that must have seemed to them as incomprehensible as any death could be”.

London will rise again. The world has been spared. Humanity gets lucky — this time.

A wider war

In the new Anglo-French television series, La Guerre Des Mondes, the action takes place in both London and France. Martian devastation is given wider latitude.

Why does this now-familiar story have such a hold on successive generations? Iterations include the Orson Welles’ radio broadcast of “fake news” bulletins about Martian invasion, to the 1978 contemporary music version with Richard Burton narration, to Steven Spielberg’s film blockbuster starring Tom Cruise. Last year also saw a BBC production set in Edwardian London.

Tom Cruise and the red weed in the 2005 film. IMDB

One response is to consider our attraction to sci-fi. It sees the laws of science upended. Technology seems to make anything possible and to minds already accustomed to real technological transformation, sci-fi literature brings the now-thinkable future into the present.

But there’re less obvious elements to think about: themes that were important in 1898 and resonate still.

Invasion and imperialism

Wells’ book touched something existentially British during their Pax Britannica period of relative peace. Across the Channel, Europe seethed with diplomatic intrigue and tensions culminating in the first world war.

The new sci-fi genre connected to an older “invasion literature” genre; a long-standing British apprehension of the Continent, especially its renascent German threat. Wells hints at this when he writes that the arrival of the cylinders (before the Martians emerged from them) “did not [initially] make the sensation that an ultimatum to Germany would have done”.

Then there’s the imperialism angle. Was Wells tapping a source of late-Victorian shame at the true source of British wealth and power? Then, a quarter of the world map was coloured British Empire pink. London was the epicentre of modern imperialism — the coordination point for the suffering of millions and the plunder of their lands.

Moreover, Belgium, Germany, France, and also the USA, were engaged in the “scramble for colonies” in Africa and Asia. Under the veneer of sci-fi, Wells describes what it’s like to be a people facing a powerful invader.

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A BBC version was set in Edwardian times.

Fear is the contagion

A very different perspective says something about our species and our idealised self-conception. In 1908 the Russian novelist and revolutionary Alexander Bogdanov, drew on WOTW for inspiration. In his novel Red Star protagonist Leonid travels to Mars to learn about communism from Martians who had made their own revolution and now lived in peace. Leonid despairs of the congenitally “unstable and fragile” nature of human relationships and looks to another planet for guidance.

The Earth-bound communist project of the 20th century ended badly, to say the least. But our human vulnerability to invasion, to tyranny, to economic catastrophe, and even to the bacteriological danger from microbes resistant to antibiotics, continues to haunt us.

The latest adaptation is set in our time with smartphones and the internet. Here again our 21st-century complacency is shattered, and our vulnerability laid bare.

Fear is a contagion in WOTW, and its Londoners show little heroism in the face of an alien invader.

A new battle

Bacteria did in Wells’ Martians and might do for us too – unless drugs to overcome resistance are developed. Through sci-fi, we can explore our fear of the invisible foe.

Global warming might be our other enemy – the red skies of Australia’s last bushfire season fresh in our memory and reminiscent of Well’s novel.

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Jeff Wayne created the progressive musical version of The War of the Worlds, featuring Justin Hayward (The Moody Blues), Chris Thompson (Manfred Mann’s Earth Band), Phil Lynott (Thin Lizzy), Julie Covington and David Essex.

The narrative provides a hugely enjoyable fantasy. But we need to think about what science fiction might be doing to our relationship with science fact, especially if we consume it as a tranquilliser to displace and sublimate our fears of invisible threats.

If we do, then the incomprehensibility felt by Wells’ Martians may add that little bit more to our discord regarding the sources and solutions to global warming. Humans got lucky in The War of the Worlds. They didn’t need to do anything to survive. We can’t count on luck to save us or our planet.

About The Author:

Robert Hassan is a Professor in the School of Culture and Communication at the University of Melbourne

This article is republished from our content partners over at The Conversation under a Creative Commons license.

#science fiction #television #TV adaptation #H. G. Wells #scifi TV #featured

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justgotham · 5 years

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Time is running out for Jim Gordon and Gotham, and nobody is more acutely aware of that fact than Ben McKenzie, the actor who has portrayed the flinty Gordon for five seasons on the Fox series that shares its name with Batman’s hometown. “It’s a lot to take in,” McKenzie said about the Gotham series finale that airs tonight. “It really is one of those bittersweet moments. But the show was never an open-ended proposition.”

Tonight’s finale is titled “The Beginning…” but the name isn’t quite as ironic as it sounds. That’s because the drama was built to be a sort of “prequel procedural” that leads up to the familiar Batman mythology that DC Comics has been publishing since 1939. The narrative window would begin in Bruce Wayne’s youth with the murder of his parents, and effectively end with his first forays as a costumed crimefighter: Gotham would end when Batman begins. That graduation moment arrives tonight with the show’s 100th episode, the first to feature an appearance by the Caped Crusader in action.

Gotham fans are more than ready to see the Dark Knight in all his cowled glory, but the show’s creative team hasn’t shared that eagerness. Just the opposite. Executive producer Bruno Heller, the British producer best known for The Mentalist and Rome, has said he would never have developed the show if it was a traditional costumed-hero franchise. “I don’t think Batman works very well on TV,” Heller said back in 2014. “To have people behind masks? Frankly, all those superhero stories I’ve seen, I always love them — until they get into the costume.”

That has made Gotham an eccentric entry in the superhero sector, but not an entirely unprecedented one. Smallville (217 episodes, 2001-2010) still reigns as the longest-running television series ever based on DC Comics heroes, and creators Alfred Gough and Miles Millar shared a similar aversion to costumed exploits. Their early mission statement was “no flights, no tights,” and the series held out until its final episode to put Clark Kent (Tom Welling) in Superman’s iconic suit.

For Heller and his team, the key to making a compelling Gothamwithout a Batman was to spotlight the hero’s trusted friend, James Gordon, the dedicated lawman destined to become the police commissioner of a city defined by its lawlessness and celebrity criminals. Gordon was introduced in the first panel of the first page of the first Batman comic book ever published, Detective Comics No. 27, the landmark issue that reached its 80th anniversary last month. Gotham added a key element to its version of Gordon — when Thomas and Martha Wayne are murdered, Gordon is the detective who handles the investigation.

Gordon is the good cop who holds on to his morals in a bad city that loses its marbles. The show found the man for the job in McKenzie, who had memorably portrayed LAPD officer Ben Sherman on the highly regarded (but lowly rated) Southland, which aired 2009 to 2013 on NBC and TNT. Before that, the Texan portrayed Ryan Atwood, a scruffy outsider adopted by a wealthy Newport Beach couple and the central character on The OC, the frothy Fox teen drama that aired for 92 episodes from 2003 to 2007.

“I had some things in common with the character,” McKenzie says with a shrug. It’s true, the 23-year-old actor trekked west from dusty Austin (instead of rural Chino) to Southern California, and bought himself a eye-catching Cadlliac DeVille that already had logged 17 hard years and 228,000 long miles. “That’s lot of miles.”

McKenzie has covered a lot of distance in his personal life while channeling the role of Gordon. In 2017, for instance, McKenzie married his Gotham co-star, Morena Baccarin, who has portrayed Dr. Leslie Thompkins on the series (and is well-known for her role in the Deadpool films as the mutant anti-hero’s love interest). The couple now have their first child.

For McKenzie, the end of Gotham closes a pivotal chapter in his screen life. But he’s also hoping that the final seasons will also someday represent a prelude to a different career story — one writing and directing. The actor directed the sixth episode of Season 5, and also directed one in each of the previous two seasons. McKenzie has also written the screenplay for two Gotham episodes: “One of My Three Soups” in Season 4 and “The Trial of Jim Gordon” in this final season.

McKenzie, the writer, didn’t exactly go easy on his fictional screen persona. The cop took a slug in the chest and hovered near death for much of the episode, stuck somewhere between “the here” and “the hereafter” in an existential courtroom where he had to defend his life.

‘I actually feel no sympathy for him at all,” McKenzie said with a chuckle. “The less sympathy you feel, the better, I’d say. The more pain you inflict upon the protagonist, hopefully, the higher the stakes are and the more emotion gets elicited. So I had to be a bit of masochist. Putting him through the ringer and having this existential crisis, this dream, where he’s on trial for his crimes and faces the loss of everything: the love of his life and his child at the same time. I think we got there. That’s about as high stakes as you can get. I think, ultimately satisfying, with the kind of emotional payoff we were looking for.”

That seems to apply to the season as a whole. The final episode is an epic send-off, too, with a story that flashes forward a decade (long enough for Gordon to sport a new mustache) and finds the Penguin (Robin Lord Taylor) returning from prison and Bruce Wayne returning to his ancestral home after years in self-imposed exile. It also coincides with the rise of the show’s off-kilter version of the Joker (Cameron Monaghan). “It’s fitting that he comes into conflict with Gordon and Wayne right at the end,” McKenzie said. “Cameron has been amazing and there was room for one more big flourish with the role.”

Most of the reviews have veered from good to great, encouraging news for the cast and crew of a series that had been uneven or over-the-top at times. “Everybody’s been very enthusiastic and positive,” McKenzie said. “The final season has been wrapping things up in the way the audience hoped we would.”

Gotham City is arguably the most famous city created in American popular culture since the Emerald City in The Wizard of Oz (although Metropolis, Springfield, Mayberry, Twin Peaks, and Riverdale are other prominent spots on the map of un-real estate). Even without Batman, the city zoned by greed, paved in corruption, and mapped by trauma seems to have no limits as far as its story range.

“It’s extraordinary when you think about it,” McKenzie said. “The city itself is a character. There’s a lot of stories to be found in Gotham City. There’s a lot of stories being told from Gotham, too.”

It’s true, Gotham City will be the site of Batwoman, the pilot on The CW this fall, and for a string of upcoming feature films including Joker, The Batman, and the Birds of Prey project.

Also this year: a Harley Quinn animated series and Pennyworth (a series about Batman’s loyal butler) on Epix. Pennyworth and Gothamare unconnected in their story continuity, but both are from the tandem of executive producer/writer Bruno Heller (The Mentalist) and executive producer/director Danny Cannon (CSI franchises).

A passing reference in the 2016 film Suicide Squad identified Gotham City as a major metropolitan hub in the Garden State. The city’s location had been a vague matter for decades, but now it is officially part of New Jersey’s map, and Springsteen isn’t the only local hero named Bruce.

On Gotham, the city feels more like Al Capone’s Chicago than Dracula’s Transylvania. “There’s a specific look and style that Gotham has that sets the show apart. It’s visual identity is distinctive and it was really interesting to work within that as a director.”

Has McKenzie inherited anything Gordon, anything he will take with him forward? “Maybe. We have some things in common, too. He’s living in the same city I live in, New York, but just the slightly more dramatic version. He’s had to figure things out on the fly and his life has changed and met the love of his life and had a child. There’s a lot of similarities there. But I haven’t bought a gun and I don’t go around shooting one. And I’m more a jeans and t-shirts guy. Although Gordon’s given me an appreciation for a good suit, that’s for sure.”

McKenzie said he’s learned a lot from the creative team he’s worked with, and he believes his acting has made his directing better and vice versa, as well. There’s several new projects that looks promising for McKenzie, both as an on-screen presence and writer or director. Still, saying goodbye to Gotham has been a sentimental exercise for the man who plays the taciturn detective.

“It’s hard. I’ve been through it a couple of times before. I’ve been on two shows before, so it’s been less daunting then before. I’ve built really strong bonds with these folks. We spent more time together than we do with our families for nine months a year. It’s been a joy and a experience I will never forget. I can’t forget. I wake up every morning to my wife and child who happened during it. So yes, it’s been a city without limits for me.”

#Jim Gordon #James Gordon #Ben McKenzie #Leslie Thompkins #Morena Baccarin

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sjf-penguin · 5 years

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Judy Supports the Serial Comma

Nick, Clawhauser, and Chief Bogo support the serial comma too. (Duke, Bellwether and Doug don't.) I own the sixteenth and seventeenth (pictured) editions of The Chicowgo Chicago Manual of Style. It is an American English style guide, and I have recommended it to writers many times over the years, even if just for reference when writing fan fiction. In Chicago, you will learn that a hyphen (-), an en dash (–), and an em dash (—) are not the same thing. You will learn about the ellipsis (. . .), which often gets overused in fan fiction and in anything informal, and how to properly space one ("word...word" is incorrect; "word... word" is incorrect; "word . . . word" is correct; "word ... word," which lacks spaces between the periods, I use on FanFiction.net since nonbreaking spaces aren't supported there). You will learn that plurals are not to be formed with apostrophes ("DVDs" is correct, "DVD's" is not; "I ate two apples" is correct, "I ate two apple's" is absolutely not correct!). You will learn—and should already know by now—the difference between "its" (possessive) and "it's" (contraction of "it is"). You will learn how certain titles are supposed to be italicized but others are supposed to be placed inside quotation marks. The general rule is that titles of larger works get italicized (movies, TV shows, books, music albums, etc.) and titles of smaller works get placed inside quotation marks (individual TV show episodes, chapters of books, songs, etc.). For example, "Gone in a Flash" is a 2009 episode of Nickelodeon's The Penguins of Madagascar. (I consider the titles of fanfics the same as the titles of books.) If you want to go totally crazy and become moderately pedantic like yours truly, Chicago will also tell you about italicizing the names of ships—RMS Titanic, USS Massachusetts (BB-59), SS Edmund Fitzgerald. (Hmm, if "ships" are supposed to be italicized, do I have to start italicizing WildeHopps now?) You don't have to follow everything in The Chicago Manual of Style or read it cover to cover—I don't and I haven't—but I think it's still a good thing to have access to when writing. Like caffeine, cheese crackers, and good lighting.

#Zootopia #Judy Hopps #Chicago Manual of Style #CMOS #English #writing #grammar #punctuation #fun with Zootopia plush #SJFPenguin #posted via queue

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thelifeofmeabookworm · 6 years

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VOX by Christina Dalcher

Proof copy ( giveaway win ) - 336 Pages

Publisher - HarperCollins

Rating - 🌟🌟🌟🌟

Purchase Links - Amazon UK / Book Depository / Waterstones

Synopsis

Set in an America where half the population has been silenced, VOX is the harrowing, unforgettable story of what one woman will do to protect herself and her daughter. On the day the government decrees that women are no longer allowed more than 100 words daily, Dr. Jean McClellan is in denial--this can't happen here. Not in America. Not to her. This is just the beginning. Soon women can no longer hold jobs. Girls are no longer taught to read or write. Females no longer have a voice. Before, the average person spoke sixteen thousand words a day, but now women only have one hundred to make themselves heard. But this is not the end. For herself, her daughter, and every woman silenced, Jean will reclaim her voice.

Review

Vox is one of those books that completely pulls you in and refuses to let you go until the last page. I absolutely loved this book even though it has the power to completely enrage and terrify you all at the same time, but what a novel Christina Dalcher has written! I don't want to say too much about this as I think it a fantastic novel to dive into knowing only that woman can't speak more than a 100 words per day anymore and a counter attached to your arm will administer a thousand volts of electricity through your body. Vox was such a fantastic concept, and I know I'll be thinking about this novel for a long time. I actually loved Jean and all her family even with all there faults I still wanted to get behind them all, and I loved how the author explored everything to do with communication, sign language, a simple gesture as blowing a kiss, writing, reading nothing was allowed! Even socialising what would be the point you could barely speak it's so terrifying how isolated these woman become. All in all a fantastic bone chilling dystopian that will leave you utterly enraged and desperate for more! A complete knockout of a read.

About The Author

Christina Dalcher earned her doctorate in theoretical linguistics from Georgetown University. She specializes in the phonetics of sound change in Italian and British dialects and has taught at universities in the United States, England, and the United Arab Emirates. Her short stories and flash fiction appear in over one hundred journals worldwide. Recognitions include the Bath Flash Award’s Short List; nominations for The Pushcart Prize, Best of the Net, and Best Small Fictions; and multiple other awards. She teaches flash fiction as a member of the faculty at The Muse Writers Center in Norfolk, Virginia. Laura Bradford of Bradford Literary Agency represents Dalcher’s novels. After spending several years abroad, most recently in Sri Lanka, Dalcher and her husband now split their time between the American South and Naples, Italy. Her debut novel, VOX, will be published in August 2018 by Berkley (an imprint of Penguin Random House).

#vox #christinadalcher #100words #review #bookblogger #vox day #harpercoll

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kiwikipedia · 2 years

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Place My Feet on Solid Ground

3. “Forgive me.”

AO3

I wrote this to be lighter spirited so I hope that’s okay? It also ended up being a bit shorter than the others and I apologize

There were a number of things that Cody could choose to be angry at right now. The Separatists, the number of his injured and dead brothers that he’s had to face, Anakin karking Skywalker just not following directions… but he was mostly just angry at his General.

His General, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Master of the Jedi Order and a member of the High Council that governed the said Order.

That General.

Cody cursed under his breath as he open fired on the droids below him, struggling to keep his balance at the moment. Which was quite difficult, seeing how there was nothing for him to balance on.

Oh no, he wasn’t on the deck of a ship, or on a catwalk, or even on a tree branch— he was being held in the air by his General’s use of the Force. Cody had no idea how the 104th managed to fight so easily when General Koon lifted them with the Force. He’d let up on antagonizing Wolffe for a bit, he decided as he was jerked downwards to avoid a blaster bolt to his face. He took aim and fired, cursing as many deities as he could remember. His bolt hit its mark and the droid crumpled with a clang, the battlefield falling silent. There was a moment, just of observation before he was suddenly rightened and set back down.

Cody’s knees buckled as soon as he was on solid ground, but he caught himself, checking himself over before sighing and turning to Obi-Wan as the Jedi walked over, Waxer and Boil at his heels.

“I really hate you, you know,” he grumbled and Obi-Wan, nerve of the man, just laughed.

“Forgive me, Commander,” he said, smiling and Cody felt his shoulder slump.

“Fine, but do it again and I’m putting in a transfer request for the 91st.’

#Penguin Writes: Flash Fiction #Penguin Writes: Star Wars #Penguinkiwi Writes #Star Wars #Star Wars: The Clone Wars #Star Wars: The Expanded Universe #Star Wars the Prequel Trilogy #Lieutenant Waxer #Clone Trooper Boil #Marshal Commander Cody #Obi Wan Kenobi #212th Attack Battalion

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tometender · 3 years

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Peace Talks

by Jim Butcher

Rating

Series: DRESDEN FILES (#16)

FRONTLIST | On Sale Date: July 14, 2020

Hardcover | 352 pages

Fiction / Fantasy / Urban

$28.00 USD, $37.00 CAD

ISBN 9780451464415, 0451464419

Harry Dresden is back and ready for action, in the new entry in the #1 New York Times bestselling Dresden Files series. When the Supernatural nations of the world meet up to negotiate an end to ongoing hostilities, Harry Dresden, Chicago's only professional wizard, joins the White Council's security team to make sure the talks stay civil. But can he succeed, when dark political manipulations threaten the very existence of Chicago--and all he holds dear? Peace Talks is the sixteenth novel in the Dresden Files series and follows Harry’s adventures after the events of Skin Game.

Peace Talks by Jim Butcher Jim Butcher provides another action-packed adventure in the Dresden File series. It seems like it has been quite a while since I visited this world and yet it is always an enjoyable escapism read. There are talks of peace, a lot of political jockeying, and then the plans quickly go from well-planned to chaos in a flash. The plot is peppered with the snark that we’ve all come to love and the characters are quick to face all challenges that come their way. So, you are wondering why 4 stars and not my normal 5 for this series? PEACE TALKS has all the hot points that I love about Butcher’s writing, but it feels like a set up for things to come. And, even leaves us with a HUGE CLIFFHANGER… That being said, PEACE TALKS is a must-read to know that state of the wizarding world but in the end, it seems like our imaginations are going to run wild until you can get your hands on Battle Ground. I received this ARC copy of Peace Talks from Penguin Publishing Group - Ace. This is my honest and voluntary review. https://tometender.blogspot.com/2020/12/peace-talks-by-jim-butcher-dresden.html

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crankreport · 6 years

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Finished Reading: Turtles All The Way Down

I have a teenager which means we have John Green books in the house. She finished Turtles All the Way Down, and then i read it. And I liked it though I’m not a teenager and the kids don’t exactly resemble any of the kids I know.

The kids in the book are hyper literate, they read and write poetry and fiction. The exhibit art in underground -- literally -- art shows. They look at the stars, with understanding.

It’s not that I don’t think teenagers like that exist, they do. It’s more -- and maybe this part of the function of novels -- they illustrate the people teenagers want to be. I thought the book gave a good understanding of Aza and what it must be like to be inside a person who is suffering with crippling anxiety. And I like that it didn’t have a neat answer for her, for her friends. The skill Green used in flashing forward in the end so that we could see some of what happens next.

And the way time and memory populate throughout the book, the way the characters try to hang on to and manipulate and understand both. I liked that a lot too. And i like being able to talk about a book with The Spawn. I look up reading guides and then practice the questions until I can ask them naturally. They become a part of one of our walks to school. Because I don’t want her to think this is homework but, you know, I want her to be able to bring more of her brain to each of the books that she reads, to some of the books that she reads, so that she can do a better job of expressing her opinions. Of course, I want that for myself too.

Some reviews:

The Irish Times

The New York Times

The Guardian

And some reading guides:

Owlcation

John Green Book Club Guide, from Penguin

Discussion on Reddit

#read in 2018 #reading #books #fiction #Novel #YA #john green

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cathygeha · 4 years

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INTERNATIONAL AND UNDER-REPRESENTED VOICES

DOMINATE THE LONGLIST FOR THE

15th ANNIVERSARY OF THE SWANSEA UNIVERSITY DYLAN THOMAS PRIZE

Key Dates

Shortlist Announcement – 7th April

British Library Event with shortlisted authors, London– 13th May

Winner Announcement and award ceremony, Swansea – 14th May

From left: Jay Bernard, Mary Jean Chan, Meena Kandasamy, Kirsty Logan, Helen Mort, Yelena Moskovich, Téa Obreht, Yara Rodrigues Fowler, Stephen Sexton, Madhuri Vijay, Ocean Vuong and Bryan Washington

www.swansea.ac.uk/dylan-thomas-prize/ @dylanthomprize #SUDTP20

From Brazil to Hong Kong, India, and Ukraine via Vietnam, this year’s powerful Swansea University Dylan Thomas Prize Longlist combines a rich, international collection of young , experimental writers who are offering platforms for under-represented voices and exploring pressing social and world themes across identity, culture and power.

Celebrating the Prize’s 15th anniversary, we are thrilled to announce acclaimed Indian feminist writer and novelist,

Meena Kandasamy

, Hong Kong born LGBTQ+ poet

Mary Jean Chan

, Ukrainian-born artist and writer

Yelena Moskovich

, Brazilian-British debut novelist

Yara Rodrigues Fowler

, Vietnamese-American novelist

Ocean Vuong

, and Belgrade-born Orange Prize winner

Téa Obreht

are among the 12 authors on the longlist for the

£30,000 ~ Swansea University Dylan Thomas Prize.

The 12 longlisted titles will be judged by a bumper guest panel chaired by Swansea University’s Professor Dai Smith CBE, including annual judge Professor Kurt Heinzelman, the award-winning writer and founder of Jaipur Literature Festival Namita Gokhale, acclaimed writer and 2011 winner of the Swansea University Dylan Thomas Prize Lucy Caldwell, the British-Ghanaian writer, poet and critic Bridget Minamore, celebrated writer and presenter of BBC Radio 3: The Verb Ian McMillan and national arts and culture journalist Max Liu.

This year’s longlist comprises seven novels, three poetry collections and two short story collections:

· Surge - Jay Bernard (Chatto & Windus)

· Flèche - Mary Jean Chan (Faber & Faber)

· Exquisite Cadavers - Meena Kandasamy (Atlantic Books)

· Things we say in the Dark - Kirsty Logan (Harvell Secker, Vintage)

· Black Car Burning - Helen Mort (Chatto & Windus)

· Virtuoso- Yelena Moskovich (Serpent’s Tail)

· Inland - Téa Obreht (Weidenfeld & Nicolson)

· Stubborn Archivist - Yara Rodrigues Fowler (Fleet)

· If All the World and Love were Young - Stephen Sexton (Penguin Random House)

· The Far Field - Madhuri Vijay (Atlantic Books)

· On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous - Ocean Vuong (Jonathan Cape, Vintage)

· Lot - Bryan Washington (Atlantic Books)

Worth £30,000, it is one of the UK’s most prestigious literary prizes as well as the world’s largest literary prize for young writers. Awarded for the best published literary work in the English language, written by an author aged 39 or under, the Prize celebrates the international world of fiction in all its forms including poetry, novels, short stories and drama.

On receiving the 2019 award for his debut novel In Our Mad and Furious City, Guy Gunaratne said: “Dylan Thomas has always meant a lot to me, he’s a writer I’ve always turned to for inspiration. And after winning this prize, my mind just goes to all the other writers, or aspiring writers, who are writing from a place like where I began. A place like Neasden, somewhere I always thought was a nowhere place. But to make art out of the world, the language, the voices I grew up around I always felt was important…”

The shortlist will be announced on the 7th April, followed by a British Library Event, London on the 13th May and Winner’s Ceremony held in Swansea on International Dylan Thomas Day, 14th May.

For further information including interview requests for the judges please contact

Kate Appleton at Midas Public Relations I [email protected] 020 7361 7866

NOTES FOR EDITORS

Key Dates for the Swansea University Dylan Thomas Prize

· Shortlist will be announced 00:00 GMT 7th April 2020

· British Library London Event Wednesday 13th May 2020

· Winner will be announced evening of Thursday 14th May 2020

About the Swansea University Dylan Thomas Prize: Launched in 2006, the annual Swansea University Dylan Thomas Prize is one of the most prestigious awards for young writers, aimed at encouraging raw creative talent worldwide. It celebrates and nurtures international literary excellence. Worth £30,000, it is one of the UK’s most prestigious literary prizes as well as the world’s largest literary prize for young writers. Awarded for the best published literary work in the English language, written by an author aged 39 or under, the Prize celebrates the international world of fiction in all its forms including poetry, novels, short stories and drama. The prize is named after the Swansea-born writer, Dylan Thomas, and celebrates his 39 years of creativity and productivity. One of the most influential, internationally-renowned writers of the mid-twentieth century, the prize invokes his memory to support the writers of today and nurture the talents of tomorrow.

ABOUT THE LONGLIST

Jay Bernard, Surge (Chatto & Windus)

Jay Bernard is the author of the pamphlets Your Sign is Cuckoo, Girl (Tall Lighthouse, 2008), English Breakfast (Math Paper Press, 2013) and The Red and Yellow Nothing (Ink Sweat & Tears Press, 2016), which was shortlisted for the Ted Hughes Award 2017. A film programmer at BFI Flare and an archivist at Statewatch, they also participated in ‘The Complete Works II’ project in 2014 and in which they were mentored by Kei Miller. Jay was a Foyle Young Poet of the Year in 2005 and a winner of SLAMbassadors UK spoken word championship. In 2019 Jay was selected by Jackie Kay as one of Britain's ten best BAME writers for the British Council and National Centre for Writing's International Literature Showcase. Their poems have been collected in Voice Recognition: 21 Poets for the 21st Century (Bloodaxe, 2009), The Salt Book of Younger Poets (Salt, 2011), Ten: The New Wave (Bloodaxe, 2014) and Out of Bounds: British Black & Asian Poets (Bloodaxe, 2014).

Mary Jean Chan, Flèche (Faber & Faber)

Mary Jean Chan is a London-based poet, lecturer and editor from Hong Kong. Her debut poetry collection, Flèche (Faber & Faber), is the winner of the 2019 Costa Book Award for Poetry. Chan has twice been shortlisted for the Forward Prize for Best Single Poem and is the recipient of a 2019 Eric Gregory Award and the 2018 Poetry Society Geoffrey Dearmer Prize. Chan currently lectures in Creative Writing at Oxford Brookes University. Follow her on Twitter @maryjean_chan

Meena Kandasamy, Exquisite Cadavers (Atlantic Books)

Meena Kandasamy is a poet, fiction writer, translator and activist who was born in Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India. She has published two collections of poetry, Touch (2006) and Ms. Militancy (2010), and the critically acclaimed novel, Gypsy Goddess. Her second novel, When I Hit You, was shortlisted for the Women's Prize for fiction 2018. She currently lives in East London. Follow her on Twitter @meenakandasamy

Kirsty Logan, Things we say in the Dark (Harvell Secker, Vintage)

Kirsty Logan is the author of the novels The Gracekeepers and The Gloaming, the short story collections A Portable Shelter and The Rental Heart & Other Fairytales, the flash fiction chapbook The Psychology of Animals Swallowed Alive, and the short memoir The Old Asylum in the Woods at the Edge of the Town Where I Grew Up. Her books have won the LAMBDA Literary Award, the Polari First Book Prize, the Saboteur Award, the Scott Prize and the Gavin Wallace Fellowship, and been selected for the Radio 2 Book Club and the Waterstones Book Club. In 2019 she was selected as one of the ten most outstanding LGBTQ British writers for the International Literature Showcase. Her short fiction and poetry have been translated into Japanese and Spanish, recorded for radio and podcasts, exhibited in galleries and distributed from a vintage Wurlitzer cigarette machine. She lives in Glasgow with her wife and their rescue dog. Follow her on Twitter @kirstylogan

Helen Mort, Black Car Burning (Chatto & Windus)

Helen Mort was born in Sheffield in 1985 and grew up in nearby Chesterfield. Five times winner of the Foyle Young Poets Award, she received an Eric Gregory Award in 2007 and won the Manchester Young Writer Prize in 2008. Her first collection, Division Street (2013), was shortlisted for the T.S. Eliot Prize and Costa Poetry Award and won the Fenton Aldeburgh First Collection Prize. In 2014, she was named as a ‘Next Generation Poet’, the prestigious accolade announced only once every ten years, recognising the 20 most exciting new poets from the UK and Ireland. No Map Could Show Them (2016), her second collection, about women and mountaineering, was a Poetry Book Society Recommendation. Helen has been the Wordsworth Trust Poet in Residence and the Derbyshire Poet Laureate and was named one of the RSL’s 40 under 40 Fellows in 2018. She is a Lecturer in Creative Writing at Manchester Metropolitan University and lives in Sheffield. Black Car Burning is her first novel. Follow her on Twitter @HelenMort

Yelena Moskovich, Virtuoso (Serpent’s Tail)

Yelena Moskovich was born in the former USSR and emigrated to Wisconsin with her family as Jewish refugees in 1991. She studied theatre at Emerson College, Boston, and in France at the Lecoq School of Physical Theatre and Université Paris 8. Her plays and performances have been produced in the US, Canada, France, and Sweden. Her first novel The Natashas was published by Serpent's Tail in 2016. She has also written for New Statesman, Paris Review and 3:AM Magazine, and in French for Mixt(e) Magazine, won the 2017 Galley Beggar Press Short Story Prize in 2017 and was a curator for the 2018 Los Angeles Queer Biennial. She lives in Paris. Follow her on Twitter @yelenamoskovich

Téa Obreht, Inland (Weidenfeld & Nicolson)

Téa Obreht is the author of The Tiger’s Wife, winner of the Orange Prize and a finalist for the National Book Award, and Inland. She was born in Belgrade, in the former Yugoslavia, in 1985 and has lived in the United States since the age of twelve. She currently lives in New York City. Follow her on Instagram @teaobreht

Yara Rodrigues Fowler, Stubborn Archivist (Fleet)

Yara Rodrigues Fowler is a novelist from South London. She is also a trustee of Latin American Women’s Aid, an organisation that runs the only two refuges in Europe for and by Latin American women. Stubborn Archivist is Yara’s first novel; she is currently writing her second. Follow her on Twitter @yazzarf

Stephen Sexton, If All the World and Love were Young (Penguin Random House)

Stephen Sexton lives in Belfast where he teaches at the Seamus Heaney Centre for Poetry. His first book, If All the World and Love Were Young, is forthcoming from Penguin. Follow him on Twitter @ssexton02

Madhuri Vijay, The Far Field (Atlantic Books)

Madhuri Vijay was born and raised in Bangalore. She is the recipient of a Pushcart Prize, and her writing has appeared in Best American Non-Required Reading, Narrative Magazine, and Elle India, among other publications. The Far Field is her first book. She currently lives in Hawaii.

Ocean Vuong, On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous (Jonathan Cape, Vintage)

Ocean Vuong is the author of the critically acclaimed poetry collection Night Sky with Exit Wounds, winner of the Whiting Award and the T.S. Eliot Prize. His writings have also been featured in The Atlantic, Harper's, The Nation, New Republic, The New Yorker, and The New York Times. In 2019 he was awarded a MacArthur Foundation Fellowship. Born in Saigon, Vietnam, he currently lives in Northampton, Massachusetts, where he serves as an Assistant Professor of English at UMass-Amherst. On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous is his first novel. Follow him on Twitter @oceanvuong

Bryan Washington, Lot (Atlantic Books)

Bryan Washington has written for the New York Times, the New York Times Magazine, New York Magazine, BuzzFeed, The Paris Review, Boston Review, Tin House, One Story, GQ, FADER, The Awl, and Catapult. He lives in Houston, Texas. Follow him on Twitter @BryWashing

ABOUT THE JUDGES

Belfast-born Lucy Caldwell was shortlisted for the inaugural Swansea University Dylan Thomas Prize in 2006 for her debut novel, Where They Were Missed, and won the award in 2011 for her second novel, The Meeting Point. She has since written a third novel, several stage plays and radio dramas and, most recently, two collections of short stories, Multitudes (2016) and Intimacies, forthcoming with Faber in June, as well as editing the critically-acclaimed anthology Being Various: New Irish Short Stories (2019). She was recently elected a Fellow of the Royal Society of Literature. She tweets at @beingvarious.

Namita Gokhale is an award-winning writer, publisher and festival director. She is the author of eighteen books, including ten works of fiction. Her latest novel, Jaipur Journals, will be released in January 2020. Gokhale is a founder and co-director of the Jaipur Literature Festival and of Mountain Echoes, the Bhutan Literature Festival. She is also one of the founder directors of Yatra Books, a publishing house specialised in translation. Follow her on Twitter @NamitaGokhale_

Bridget Minamore is a British-Ghanaian writer, poet, critic, and dramaturg from south-east London. As a journalist, she is a contributor to The Guardian. She was chosen as one of Speaking Volumes’ 40 Stars of Black British Literature, has read her work internationally, and is the co-lead tutor for the Roundhouse Poetry Collective. Titanic (Out-Spoken Press), Bridget’s debut pamphlet of poems on modern love and loss, was published in May 2016. She is currently working on her first novel, an extract of which was published in anthology New Daughters of Africa (Myriad) in 2019. She tweets @bridgetminamore

Ian McMillan is a writer and broadcaster who presents The Verb on BBC Radio 3 every Friday night. He's written poems, plays, a verse autobiography Talking Myself Home and a voyage round Yorkshire in Neither Nowt Nor Summat. He watches Darfield and Yorkshire Cricket Clubs and the only time he played cricket, at Low Valley Juniors in 1963, Mrs Hudson told him to take his balaclava off or she'd make him wear his mother's Rainmate. Ian’s latest collection is To Fold The Evening Star - New and Selected Poems (Carcanet). Ian was recently awarded The Freedom of Barnsley .

Ian is poet-in-residence for The Academy of Urbanism, Barnsley FC and now Barnsley Poet Laureate. As well as presenting The Verb every week, he’s a regular on BBC Breakfast, Coast, Countryfile, Pointless Celebrities, Pick of the Week, Last Word and BBC Proms Plus. He’s been a castaway on Desert Island Discs. Previously, he was resident poet for English National Opera, UK Trade & Investment, Yorkshire TV’s Investigative Poet and Humberside Police’s Beat Poet. He also narrates the stories of The Yorkshire Dales and The Lakes (More4).

Now, he’s writing a libretto, The Tin Soldier, with Jonathan Dove for Leeds Festival Chorus, then a new show for Mikron Theatre’s 50th anniversary year of touring in 2021 and a libretto for a Yorkshire Barber of Seville with Freedom Studios. Cats make him sneeze. @IMcMillan www.ian-mcmillan.co.uk

Max Liu grew up in Cornwall in a community of artists and writers. He's written about arts, culture and society for the i, the Financial Times and the Guardian. He reviews books and interviews authors for newspapers and has been a guest on Radio Four’s Open Book. In 2019, he interviewed, among others, Elif Shafak, Isabel Allende, Jhumpa Lahiri and wrote elsewhere about subjects including men’s responses to the #MeToo movement and the gendered nature of housework. His essay about losing friends in his thirties went viral and sparked debates about the nature of male friendship. He lives in London where he regularly chairs literary events. Follow him on Twitter @maxjliu

Professor Dai Smith CBE is a distinguished historian and writer on Welsh arts and culture. As a Broadcaster he has won numerous awards for arts and historical documentaries and from 1992 to 2000 was Head of Programmes at BBC Wales. He was Pro-Vice Chancellor of the University of Glamorgan from 2001 until 2005 and is currently the Emeritus Raymond Williams Research Chair in the Cultural History of Wales at Swansea University. He was Chair of the Arts Council of Wales from 2006 until 2016. In 2013, he published a novel Dream On and in 2014 edited definitive anthologies of Welsh short stories, Story I & II, for the Library of Wales. In 2020 he published the novel, The Crossing, as the final part of his projected fictional trilogy of work. Professor Smith is Chair of the Judging Panel.

Professor Kurt Heinzelman is a poet, translator, and scholar. His most recent book of poems is Whatever You May Say and he has translated Demarcations, a collection of poems by Jean Follain. He has been the Executive Curator at the Harry Ransom Centre and the Director of Education at the Blanton Museum of Art. A Professor of English at the University of Texas-Austin specializing in Poetry and Poetics and a teacher in the Michener Centre for Writers, he is also the former Editor-in-Chief of Texas Studies in Literature and Language (TSLL), and the co-founder and long-time Advisory Editor of Bat City Review.

#Dylan Thomas Prize #Swansea University #Swansea University International Dylan Thomas Prize #SUDTP20 #International Prize

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theblessedwitch · 7 years

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Arkham Asylum Survival Tips.

This is from my decaying Quotev account. I wrote this so long ago now, but I thought it might be fun to put it up here.

Arkham Asylum survival tips. As you know there are do’s and do nots to incarceration at Arkham here are some for a slight chance of survival.

Do not think singing the Batman theme song is going to result in any thing other than a painful expierance.

Touch Dr Crane’s books at your own risk.

Asking Edward Nygma if he wants to talk about his ‘daddy issues’ isn’t smart he will kill you.

Telling Deathstroke that Deadpool would totally kick his ass is grounds for immediate medication for talking about fictional characters again.

Flirting with Joker is a new level of stupid but be prepared for a blonde crazed Brooklyn women to try and kill you.

If you should escape and get access to the rogue’s confiscated weapons unless you hundred percent know what your doing don’t touch them and even then it’s likely they will hunt you down and kill you for the inconvenience.

Asking Bane who his dealer is isn’t going to get you any venom.

Please stop asking Copperhead if she can teach you swear words in Spanish, we do have Spanish speaking inmates and doctors it’s not a secret way to insult people.

Yes, Dr Crane is not the strongest person here this isn’t a go ahead to try and dominate him if he doesn’t get you back straight away then I’d suggest sleeping with one eye open for the foreseeable future.

If Edward Nygma should take a disliking to you giving him some puzzle books on the side isn’t entirely a bad idea.

Threatening ivy with weed killer doesn’t scare her, her 'babies’ are quite capable of looking after their selves.

Trying to persuade Selina Kyle to curl up in your lap like a kitten is your own funeral.

Shouting 'CROWS’ around Jonathan Crane just to try and scare him is going to result in a frightening death.

Asking Victor Zsasz to cut your food up for you is inviting trouble.

Asking Waylon Jones where captain hook is, will most likely end up with you missing body parts.

Touch Osito and you risk being broken.

Singing twisted fire starter at firefly may seem funny to you but God help you if he starts one.

Asking Edward Nygma what’s green, purple and black and regularly gets his ass handed to him by Batman is seriously stupid.

Telling Edward Nygma that he can use his Cain on you anytime he wants doesn’t sound sexual he will take you literally.

Asking if Crane wants a new test subject doesn’t sound sexual either he’ll gladly take you up on the offer.

Playing music aloud is permitted as one of your recreational activities but please be mindful of what you play as the last time someone played Justin Bieber aloud a fire broke out, a bomb went off, Bane smashed through two walls and Jarvis tried to initiate a flash mob.

Telling Harley you want to joke and fool around with her is in affect volunteering your head for a game of croquette.

Telling Jonathan crane that he is the grim reaper is only going to give him an ego boost.

Singing I’ve got a brand new combine harvester around Pamela isn’t wise.

If your not afraid of bombs then by all means scream capitalism on the top of your voice around Anarchy.

If you should be unlucky enough to draw the attentions of Jarvis Tetch then it is best advised to inform a doctor or guard and not to tell him your the reincarnation of the red queen or the jabberwocky he’ll take this just as seriously.

Asking any of the female prisoners for nudes may be asking for your phone to explode.

Telling Harley Quinn that vampires aren’t as good as werewolves will put you into a no exit lifelong debate.

Trying to flirt with any of the doctors and asking them if they want to start a 'mad love’ will mean that your doctors may have to be switched to the same gender as you and if you still persist then we will be forced to only use video connection to speak with you.

Asking Batman to bite you so you can join his legion of the undead is going to result in a neck brace.

Shouting to the Batmobile might end up with you being chucked under it.

If there is a break out it is advised to stay in your cell for your own safety and not to try to form teams of your favourite rogues.

Don’t think it’s funny calling Penguin happy feet or Mary Poppins.

Neither is calling officer Boyles Scarface.

Starting sleeve fights with your straight jacket is not their intended purpose.

Cash’s hook is not a kitchen utensil.

Although movies are permitted in recreational time there are some rules to when certain films can be shown as different inmates are effected by different things.

Neither of the Silent hill movies are allowed when Dr. Crane is present. Silence of the lambs is not permitted when Waylon Jones is present. Stephen King’s It isn’t allowed around Joker.

The Saw franchise isn’t allowed around Edward Nygma, he doesn’t need encouragement.

Tim Burton’s Alice in wonderland isn’t allowed when Jarvis Tetch is around, this should be common sense.

Most violence filled movies aren’t permitted around Zsasz, you don’t really need anything to trigger him.

If you find that Dr. Crane is taking a frequent interest in your personal fears and phobias you should immediately tell a guard or doctor and not tell him stupid made up fears and phobias as if he finds out that your lying he’ll make it his personal mission to make you frightened of your own lies.

It’s best to humour Joker when he asks if you want to know how he got his scars?.

Bragging about animal abuse is not only grounds for time being taken away from your recreational time but you may incur abuse from some of the animal loving inmates.

Instigating wheelchair races is not the purpose of the wheelchairs and is strictly prohibited.

Telling Jarvis that the ghost of Arkham is watching him sleep will earn you solitary confinement.

Writing riddles on the walls and then trying to blame Edward isn’t clever, because he will pick so many holes in your argument and ridicule you so savagely that your likely to end up developing a self inferiority complex.

Trying to steal Osito to sleep with at night isn’t going to end well. For anyone.

Please refrain from stealing medication as we regret to inform you that we believe some of them may have been tampered with, if you begin to laugh uncontrollably, start to feel that Jarvis is making sense or ten foot cockroaches are stampeding through the halls please tell a doctor or guard.

Asking two face to flip a coin for every mundane decision you make is eventually going to end up with your life being determined by a fifty fifty probability.

Telling Jarvis that the Grudge is looking for him is again not acceptable.

There are some patients that suffer from insomnia and stress induced sleep deprivation, if said patients happen to fall asleep then leave them alone it isn’t your place to be as loud as you possibly can to try and wake them up, it’s not just really annoying but it could result in them taking it out on the first person to wake them up, so just make sure it’s not you.

We would appreciate it if everyone who frequents the gym to stop trying to get Bane and Waylon to lift increasingly heavy weights, it always ends in competitions turning into fights.

Male inmates who try to sneak into the female showers please keep in mind that the last time this happened his remains was recovered from the drainage system.

And in relation any female inmates who try to sneak into the male showers…are actually non existent, seriously no one wants to go in there. O_O

Please check your personal toiletries before using them, apparently Joker and Harley has an ongoing bet to see which one of them can dye the most people’s hair.

Trying to play whack a mole on the other patient with Harley’s hammer is strictly prohibited.

Please refrain from laughing at Riddler’s green hair, it is being resolved. :?

The rumours aren’t true there isn’t going to be a 'trick or treating crazies field trip’ please try to remember your here for your own rehabilitation.

Hair dryers are very welcome but trying to thaw out Mr. Freeze with them is not.

Please remember that giving medication forms into the doctors that have been signed by either Harleen Quinzel, Jonathan Crane or Hugo Strange are not valid they are patients their selves, there are reasons to why they can no longer practice.

Trying to show Jarvis Alice madness returns the game is strongly discouraged.

please do not touch Nightmare or Craw.

No, you can not have your straight jackets in sparkly pink.

Upon apprehension some patients may have their own personal work on their person, trying to plagiarise or copy their life’s work is going to end up you experiencing the product of their work firsthand.

Please use the doors and not make new exits.

Your sinking to a new level if you ask Mr. Freeze 'is your wife giving you the cold shoulder?’.

Deprive people of caffeine at your own risk.

Music Meister will not sing for you, why would you even want him to?

Killer moth isn’t going to follow laser pointers, he only dresses like a moth.

Touch Harley’s J necklace at your own cost.

The spinach in the canteen is not part kryptonite, and if your stupid enough to try and throw it at superman as a deterrent then on your head be it.

Detective J'onn johnz is not an alien.

No, Vicky vale doesn’t want an exclusive interview with you.

Jack Ryder might have published a paper on his triumph over Floyd Lawton but Deadshot says otherwise.

No you can’t phone Amanda Weller with your phone privileges and ask her to 'sign me up for the suicide squad!“.

Robin doesn’t have to sign in as a minor, stop insisting he does.

Bruce Wayne will not adopt you.

Music Meister will not serenade you, he might perforate your eardrums but he won’t serenade you.

Joker really doesn’t like cream pies in the face, who knew?

No you can’t use Zsasz as a living tally chart board when your playing pool, he might return the favour.

Deathstroke will not teach you some 'really cool Army shit!’ He could possibly demonstrate some 'really cool Army shit!’ On you but he won’t teach you.

The last person to sing Miley Cyrus’s wreaking ball actually ended up squashed by one, I have no idea how they pulled it off but they did, really creatively too.

Yes security levels at Wal-Mart are better, we all know.

Ichobod is not Jonathan’s real name.

Green arrow isn’t looking for maid Marian.

And no he’s not from the legend of Zelda either.

It’s quite easy to swipe Boles’s burbon. Just don’t tell him I told you.

Trying to lift Catwoman up like the lion king isn’t going to work.

Oswald isn’t pingu.

No you can’t redecorate your cell, it’s not meant to be homely.

Bribing the staff isn’t advised but we all know you could probably get away with it.

Batman isn’t into BDSM.

Ra’s al ghul isn’t going to die if you throw salt at him, you might though.

please be kind, I know it’s not the best written piece in the world. I’m resitting my English and maths and trying to improve by writing the subjects I like.

#jonathan crane #edward nygma #harley quinn #poison ivy #jervis tetch #two face #bane #killer moth #mr freeze #music meister #quotev #headcanon

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