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#POCD
zupawama · 2 years
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i am once again asking people i know to do actual research on OCD and what it is b/c i saw someone equating POCD to actual predatory shit recently and i think im going to break out of my enclosure . OCD is not about “subconscious desires” it’s about fear. fears, aversions and repulsions, both subconscious and conscious. OCD forces you to obsess over things that make you anxious, scared, uncomfortable, or disgusted. possibilities (about yourself, your future, your loved ones and their futures, etc) that would give you nightmares if you considered them for too long.  literally the second you start thinking OCD may be about “subconscious desires” you have lost. you made an immediate left turn when you were supposed to make a right and now you’re on a completely different road. this applies to all forms of OCD by the way, even the most “disgusting”, taboo or “disturbing”. whichever form of OCD you’re thinking may be an exception to this rule, is not an exception. b/c there is none
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I’m having a particularly bad episode of OCD today and wanted to remind everyone as well as myself.
Your intrusive thoughts and urges do not reflect who you are as a person.
Your intrusive thoughts and urges do not make you sick or evil.
Your intrusive thoughts and urges do not mean you are a despicable human being.
They do not mean any of the above, or any of the other lies your brain might conjure. (You’re twisted. You’re perverted. You deserve death. You deserve to never be happy. To always be alone. To always feel guilty. And the list goes on).
What your intrusive thoughts and urges do mean is that you’re struggling, and it’s hard, and sometimes you want to give up and disappear forever.
But your intrusive thoughts and urges do not define you. They do not have control over you, they do not have charge of your brain. They are not going to drag you under for the rest of your life, even if it feels like that right now. You will overcome this, and you will pound those stupid thoughts into the earth, no matter how long it takes.
You are not your intrusive thoughts.
Your intrusive thoughts are not you.
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asaltysquid · 8 months
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Just musings on my OCD and the idea of being ripped away from yourself by your brain.
All people with ocd have my love but a special shout out to my fellow queer ocd havers whose brain decided to be an obsessive fundamentalist Christian about it.
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khizuo · 9 months
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shoutout to people with taboo OCD thoughts who experience arousal from your taboo fears in dreams. yes, even if during the dream it feels like you "like it", since weird emotions are just another shitty ingredient of the brain soup that is your dream. your dreams do not mean anything and neither does your bodily response to them. this is not an indication of your "true feelings". i know that this can be one of the hardest things to deal with in terms of intrusive thoughts, and it can be tough not to internalize them. I hope you have a wonderful day.
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phantasm-masquerade · 9 months
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as a person with OCD, when people are like “intrusive thoughts aren’t ‘i should cut my hair’ they’re violent and horrific” i roll my eyes cause yeah, you still don’t understand intrusive thoughts.
an intrusive thought could ABSOLUTELY be “i should cut my hair” IF cutting your hair is something that is contrary to who you are for whatever reason. it could absolutely be something that people view as “minor” or “trivial” because they don’t understand how that effects you. i’m begging other people with OCD to stop universalizing their experiences. i’m also asking you to not fakeclaim. like, ever. no, seriously, never.
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neuroticboyfriend · 6 months
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little reminder that minor attracted people aren't inherently predators and people with pedophilic intrusive thoughts aren't morally superior to actual MAPs... because your actions and values determine your morality, not thoughts/feelings you can't control.
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januscorner · 4 months
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crippleculture · 28 days
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bl0w-m3 · 3 months
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So when are we going to start to address the very real harm that the anti ship discourse, as well as anti para rhetoric, does to people with POCD?
Do you have any idea what it's like to obsess over the fear that you might be a ped0? I have literally spent days basically non-stop analysing anything I ever might have done that would make me a ped0 with my greatest reassurance to myself being that "I can't be, because if I was I'd kill myself." (If you know anything about OCD, you know reassurances don't actually help. When I inevitably found more reasons to convince myself I am a P, the line to off myself only sounded more and more like the reasonable solution)
In my rational brain I know that fiction isn't reality and I don't deserve to fucking die over reading fic. I never used to have a problem with problematic fic I read because it was completely divorced from reality to me. I knew that it was completely fiction, even more than that it was further removed from reality because it was fanfiction, and knowing that nobody was being actually hurt meant I could read it without questioning my morals. Reading problematic fic didn't even pop up as a worry when the pocd would come back because I knew that fanfiction isn't reality and what you read in fiction has no basis on what you like in reality.
And I still know that's true when it comes to other people, i know that people who read and write problematic fic aren't intently ped0s, but the anti discourse has fucked me up. Ever since seeing people argue that reading or writing problematic ships means that you are secretly a ped0, my POCD has latched on to it and it makes me want to fucking die. I can barely engage with any media now without fear of commiting a fucking thought crime which will prove that I'm a monster and going to commit an actual crime. It's hard to be around anyone for fear that they'll also think I should die. I've gotten so much worse in the past couple years and so much of that is because of stupid fucking anti discourse.
And then there's the anti para rhetoric that exists fucking everywhere. Seeing people say "all ped0s and zoos should kts" has made me so sick. My ocd tells me that I'm actually just a ped0 in denial and should die because of it and people saying that all ped0s, regardless of if they have or would ever offend, should just die fuels the voice that tells me to commit slip and slide more than anything else.
For fucking decades the only people I've spoken to about this are my system members out of debilitating shame and fear and self loathing. Contemplating at what point the thoughts actually mean I should just give in and end it.
There are no such thing as thought crimes.
Reading problematic fic literally hurts no one.
Telling people that they're ped0s with no proof because they read something causes real harm.
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princessbriarrose · 5 months
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i am at my limit with these proshippers in the POCD support tags saying that anti's are harming people with POCD and they mix in purity culture. i'm sorry that you feel like you have to justify your sick perversions by saying "oh i have POCD this helps me!" when i have to deal with nightmares about me hurting a child like i was hurt, even going into normal fandom spaces i'm seeing more and more of proshipping being accepted and it sickens me. you are romantizing, drawing and writing about some of the worse abuse in the world and exposing victims to it who are going into these spaces to escape like i am. its hard for people with OCD to come forward with it cause you hear these things like "oh OCD is a blessing!" or "oh i'm so OCD cause i like to keep a clean living space" THAT ISN'T OCD. OCD IS INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT IF YOUR GOING TO DIE OR IF YOUR SECRETLY THE WORLDS WORSE DEGENRATE CAUSE OF THE SHIT THAT HAPPENED TO YOU WHEN YOU WERE A DEFENSELESS CHILD! normally i don't post about my mental health or the general problem with online mental health help but i'm at my limit! proshippers can suck a big fat cock i don't care if they harass me, look at yourself in the mirror and think about what you are truly supporting.
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thelemmallama · 8 months
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If people can't even wrap their heads around the difference between thoughts and actions, how do you expect people to understand the nuance of intrusive thoughts vs non-intrusive thoughts that one nevertheless intends to never act on?
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scrupulosity-et-al · 2 years
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OCD can target anything and everything. you're not a "weirdo" or a "freak" for getting thoughts that relate to more uncommon themes. your thoughts don't make you a bad person just because you've never heard of someone else having that thought before.
nearly everyone with OCD will, at some point, have a thought that makes them go "nobody has ever thought this before". that's just a part of having OCD. it does not make your OCD any less real and it doesn't make you a bad person
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alters-journal · 5 months
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Having friends that are minors can be so scary if you have ocd. Like you DM them "Good morning" and Ur ocd is like "Did you just groom them on accident!?"
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dreamlanddoll · 1 year
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Idk if this is a hot take or not but I just have to get this off my chest, but pocd (p*dophile themed obsessive compulsive disorder) is, without a doubt, the worst fucking mental illness to have. And I fully mean that. It literally convinces you that you are, or have the potential of becoming, the single worst thing that everyone regardless of culture or political class hates and wishes would kneel over and die without question. It gives you the most gut wrenching, guilt inducing intrusive thoughts, which despite having no desire to act on, makes you worry "but what if" "what if one day I-" etc. I cannot express to you how much pain an ocd theme like this causes, your brain convincing you fully that you are the bottom of the barrel scum of the earth (even though you haven't done anything and never will) it is doing so based on the most irrational non-existent evidence and so many people will just never understand or get it. Not to mention that ocd is so wildly misunderstood that a lot of people don't even know the difference between someone with pocd and an actual p*dophile, which makes everything for people with this illness 10x worse. I just hate how it's so completely not talked about, especially on this app (the designated mentally illness site). I see tons of posts for people with ausitm, adhd, bpd, because that stuffs quirky and relatable ig. Even schizophrenia and narcissism gets their share of positivity (which they fully deserve dgmw) but when we talk about scary mental illnesses on here, ocd seems to get little to no light on it at all and I am just so fucking sick of it.
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allmightyidiot · 6 months
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Will you dense motherfuckers please get your disgusting proship bullshit out of the OCD support tags? You defending disgusting behavior and the sexualization of media for children (plus more) is more triggering for my OCD than people who realize it isn't normal to want to depict things that I cannot and will not describe for my own health and sanity. Please get your stupid proship discourse out of the goddamn tags and stop using OCD sufferers as tokens for your bullshit. I hate you all and I hate this website. Fuck you.
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