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#PLEASE correct me if im wrong about any of this
141shousewife · 2 days
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NSFW Price x Fat Wife Drabble >:)
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Minors DNI I will EAT u like a nerds gummy cluster
Length: 1.2 Words
CW: NSFW, ANTI DADDY KINK PRICE!! Price x Fat reader, Implied Black reader, Price is married to reader, Female Reader condescension, mocking, fingering, PiV, dirty talk,
THIS IS ONLY MY OPINION! DON'T EAT ME PLEASE
Also if u have a problem with the reader being fat n black.... IDK what to tell u gworl.
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I have one main qualm with Price x reader NSFW content. I see one reoccurring theme/headcannon:
price = daddy dirty talk
And I hate to say it but everyone else is wrong about it and I am the one who to is correct.
Price, when called daddy, looks around for a child. Being a middle aged white man with a grown in beard- accidents do happen with chubby cheeked tots who grab onto his unsuspecting leg in grocery stores and assume that he is their father.
John has been called "Daddy" many times in his life, and since he is a man who aims to please, it's been more than once that he has let it slide during one night stands.
But with you?
His girl??
His WIFE????
Price does not like to be called daddy. His spine shivers and his body rejects the implication that your attraction to him is rooted in a negative experience with your own father.
He prefers to be called other things
"Baby" especially when you call him for dinner, "Honey" is nice when you're calling for him in front of others to show your love from him, "Sweetheart" specifically when you're angry with him- because he loves the way that you maintain warmth, and lastly "John"
That one is Johns favorite because he hears it the most between breathy moans. His name is barely audible when it slides out of your mouth as his hands work you over and make you needy and pliable.
But daddy is not one that he would choose.
But does this mean that John is sterile and boring in the bedroom ?
Not even close.
John puts his ALL into pleasing you.
He loves to catch you right as you're getting into bed for the night. He always starts with watching from the bed as you stand in the bathroom finishing your bedtime routine. Where John's head lays he can see your back as you rub the last of your sweet smelling lotion onto your wide shoulders and soft arms and tie the bow at the front of your bonnet. When finished- you turn around and wow.
Wow.
Wow.
John is raking his eyes over your round and soft body, covered in a flowy pink night dress and he could just cry over how beautiful you are. Your body sits beautifully beneath the dress, your nipples poking through and visible from the coolness in the room, your arms shifting into being crossed over your chest-
"-Baby, did you hear me?" Your sweet voice beckons him back to reality as your brown eyes graze over him for any recognition of being lucid.
"I'm so sorry honey, I was thinking. What did you say?" John immediately feels guilty for missing what you said and instead oggling you like a dog would do a slab of meat.
"I said what are you looking at me like that for?"
John looks at you. Caught. Red handed. (more like red tip right now but that neither here nor there"
The smile that spreads over your face immediately says: 'i know what you want- and im prepared to give it to you.'
He looks at you and lowers his tone into a rasp. It hits you in a way that makes you feel like you can't deny him his requests.
"Come -ere."
Your body seems to walk toward the large plush bed without your permission.
You look at him doe eyed "what?" You can't tell why you're also whispering but it feels right.
He, in one move, tosses the comforter off of his lower half and sits up to grab your wide hips.
"You're acting like you caught me with my hand in the cookie jar, but you're just as wound up as me. Aren't ya?"
You stare at him breathlessly not realizing that the previous question was not rhetorical
John reaches him hand up and under your night gown and rubs your slit through your panties.
"I said: Aren't ya?"
You feel dizzy and unbalanced from the sensation and grip onto his shoulder to steady yourself.
"I am- I want you to- hah -touch me. Please"
You normally aren't this sensitive but the way that he is talking to you is making you weak.
"Look at me. Where do you want me to touch you. Cmon use your words?"
You try to just moan in response as he slows his pace.
"God- you're difficult. Is this it?"
John quickly inserts his fingers and begins pumping them as you hold onto his shoulders and writhe from the contact.
He only continues to rub the spongy spot inside of you and speak to you in a cooing, mocking tone- "What? That feel good? Are you gonna keep fucking yourself on my fingers until that cum drips down my wrist?"
You start to feel the heat and coiling in your stomach about to snap.
"Yes, John, please!"
Right as your vision is about to white out in pleasure, you tell John pulling his fingers out.
Whining in frustration you push out "John I was so close why would yo-"
The rest of you sentence is cut off as John stands up and moves behind you and roughly bends you over, making the excess fat on your body jiggle with the impact of you hitting the bed and pulling off your panties.
Your complaints are quickly silenced as John grabs for a pillow to put beneath your soft tummy. You moan clench around nothing as he lewdly leans down and spits on your entrance to make himself fit well.
"Your pussy is such a hungry little thing- you just needed some proper dick to shut you up huh?"
Your eyes begin to roll back into your head as you feel the rough stretch of John repeatedly pushing his dick inside to the hilt, exiting, and pushing inside again.
You can barely breathe- let alone form thoughts when he fucks you like this.
His raspy moans and quiet curses only push you closer to you orgasm.
He quickens his pace and you know you are done for- you aren't going to be able to hold it.
"John, pleasepleaseplease. I'm gonna- I'm- "
Completely invested in making you crazy- John slides his hand around your wide hip and plays with your clit and begins to talk into your ear in a condescending tone.
"You're gonna what huh? What are you gonna do? Are you gonna cum all over this dick baby?"
You can't even respond because that statement makes your vision completely go away as you babble incoherently and make a mess down John's thick, hairy thighs.
You don't notice during your orgasm but as you squeeze down into Price you begin to fuck back into him, roughly slamming your round ass onto him, making John completely incapable of holding out.
John fills you with a keening low moan as you finally begin to slow down
"Babyyy- fuck. -hah -just like thatttt."
John grabs onto the fat of your hip and buries himself inside and gives you the last of his orgasm.
He pulls out, cleans you off, lets you use the bathroom, and gets into bed and wraps his arms around your soft waist.
As you both quietly breathe slower and slower John finally speaks with an eyeroll-
"You definitely knew what you were pulling with that outfit. You know I'm a mumu man.
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vake-hunter · 10 months
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sorry to be a hater. im just. sad. disappointed.
Everyone's covered pacing but
The style is obviously stiff. Fbg has never been good with dialogue and they acknowledge this in the ama. And that's fine. You can do a visual novel closer to the style they have in their other games. A more text heavy one.
The switch from second to first person is so weird and you can still do second person in a dating sim? Imagine playing only motr and going to FL. The styles are so different you won't like FL lol.
It should be more dialogue heavy yeah but that doesn't mean cut out EVERY description. How often do they even describe body language or facial expressions? It's like talking online yet I'm supposed to be looking right at them. Sometimes they give me tone indicators or something but it's. Barely anything. It made it all feel so lifeless. And then when there is huge chunks of it, it feels so out of place!!!
Also was there any unique CGs? Anything but slightly changed expression and background??? Like.... You can't both not describe anything, very much relying on dialogue AND not give us anything new to look at.
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pumpkinspicenietzsche · 5 months
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how do you fund an organization you have heard nothing about?
Okay, so after the Wilbur stream, I have been THINKING, and I've been THINKING SO GODDAMN HARD and something is just NOT adding up to me.
So q!Wilbur knows jack shit about the federation, despite... apparently, Lovejoy being a key funding source? Which has been killing my brain for a while because you know... it makes no goddamn sense. I don't need to explain to you why this makes no sense. You read the title, you get the point. You get why I'm confused.
If this isn't a blatant plothole, q!Wilbur knows much more than he's letting on. Or, some secret other option where the feds are just... iunno, spouting shit? That's all I can think of.
But I really like that secret option I know nothing about because it means q!Wilbur is way more likely to begin experiencing THE HORRORS, which he hasn't really experienced yet (sure, his daughter's missing, but I bet you could inflict a LOT more trauma on this poor sickly musician boy come on, step up your game qsmp admins)
As much as I LOVED thinking of Wilbur being more aligned with the federation before he came back, this man needs some CHARACTER MOTIVATION, which means he needs to not be evil, at least for a bit. Just a SECOND.
No matter how it turns out (except for the plothole outcome because that would be upsetting), I'm extremely excited to see where Wilbur's arc goes from here!
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dittydipity · 1 year
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the flowers in mp100 op3
come get your free ammunition, hanahaki writers
(i tried to get most of these flower meanings from hanakotoba but also added in some interpretations from other cultures if they all seemed to share a common theme)
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red dahlia: perseverance, resilience, dignity red carnation: admiration and love + red rose: love white daisy: hope, peace, innocence white buttercup: joy, youth, friendship, purity
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cherry blossom: spirituality, transience, (mortality, self-sacrifice) cape/normal daisies: humility, loyalty white gardenia: trust, hope, protection pink hydrangea: pride, gratitude, (pink: sincerity)
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transflynnscifo · 7 days
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'd like to hear about the lyrics in unfriendly hater :o
you don't want to know how long i spent writing this
So actually given I’m not good enough at Japanese yet, I cannot analyze this fully in a way I want to, but I still want to talk about the way the song’s lyrics are written.
Firstly, for the sake of being able to follow along, I would suggest looking at the full lyrics. I used the ones here (sorry there wasn't a link outside fandom wiki :/)
also putting under cut for the sake of how long this beast is.
To start with, there are two speakers/singers present in the song, that take turns to sing, and sing together during the chorus. Even from a quick glance at the lyrics it is easy to note that the line distribution is 1:1. Neither singer is prioritized over the other. From this point on I will refer to them as the delinquent and the honor student, if not referred together.
Politeness marked by usage of pronouns
It is extremely important to note the way in which the both of them speak to one another. Japanese has a somewhat strict marker for when someone speaks formally or informally. Even from personal experience, I have been told that in most cases, the informal variants are considered rude when used with most people. Anime and manga tends to show characters who speak in such ways, ranging between being very casual to downright rude. Such a distinction is often lost in English translation due to the formal you blending with singular and plural variations of you.
Okay, so how can one tell if someone is speaking rudely in Japanese? From what I’ve noticed, a lot of it seems to depend on inflections and how people end their sentences. Another indicator is in the sentences’ and their presence of pronouns. In English, for example, we will readily use you when talking directly to someone. In Japanese, speaking in second person is not the same. Once again, due to formality, people who speak directly to each other, are familiar with each other, but are not close, tend to avoid usage of words such as あなた (read: “anata”, means “you”). Instead, they would use the other speaker’s name as if they are being referred to in third person. Here is an example in a literal translation:
A: Hello, B!
B: Hello! Did A do the homework?
A: Yes, I did!
Such an exchange seems odd in English, but is perfectly functional in Japanese.
Now, let’s take a look at the lyrics and note how the singers speak to one another.
The delinquent uses 君 (read: “kimi”) when speaking to the honor student at the start of the song. Now, 君 in this case, when looked at in the dictionary, is a variation of “you” that can be used when speaking to a friend (usually done by a guy). So the delinquent, already assumes familiarity.
In the chorus, both of them switch to お前 (read: “omae”) to use with each other, which is marginally ruder than the previous. Now, I only perceived it as ruder due to personal experience of blorbos using those Japanese pronouns with each other, but I have a website that confirms my idea:
“Basically, kimi, just like omae, implies a certain level of intimacy when used. The difference between kimi and omae is that when omae is used and the intimacy is unwarranted, people can find it blatantly rude. But when kimi is used and the intimacy is unwarranted, people find it condescending.“ (https://www.japanesewithanime.com/2017/08/anata-omae-kimi-kisama-meaning.html)
Also, I have to apologize. I don’t know verb inflections well enough to comment on how they are used in the text. I can imagine some ideas can be inferred, but I actually don’t want to talk out of my ass about this, so instead I encourage the guidance of a better Japanese speaker than me o7
Rhythm and Melody
A last technicality needs to be mentioned before moving on. Japanese doesn’t use an alphabet where each sign is one letter, but instead, as I understand it, most sounds are syllables (with the exception of vowels). One kana, for instance, equals one syllable.
Obviously, when it comes to lyrical texts, such as poems and songs, creative liberties are always taken for the sake of… rhyme and rhythm! In order for such a piece of writing to be melodic and memorable, the writer painstakingly works with their language in order to craft something beautiful. In the case of songs, the reason people can get songs stuck in their heads is clever usage of rhyme and rhythm in a song. And this song has a lot of it, but not in the poppy sense.
Instead, this song incorporates the very language it uses and repeats sentence structure in order to cause a mirror and a closing cycle of the song.
Analyzing the brunt of the song based on repetition
1. Instances that are similar but are not the chorus:
The first example that I want to look at and compare come from the following two points of a song: the first verse and the second verse
何回言っても聞く耳持たない
不勉強アウトサイダー
廊下全力ダッシュそこの君止まりなさい
だから止まりなさい
あーうるさいなんだよ 急いでんだよ
わざわざ暇なんですか?
誰もいないしこれぐらいいいだろ
君に構う暇はないからじゃあね
This part opens with the honor student singing, with the delinquent responding. The honor student, bluntly said, fires the first attack against the delinquent. The delinquent responds, though he doesn’t exactly fire back besides explaining himself that he’s harmless.
一体なんの為になるのやら
ド勤勉真面目ヤクザ
少しルール破ったぐらいでキレすぎだろ
ほんとしつこいわー
あーほらまたやってるまた破ってる
学習してないようで
シャツも出てるわネクタイ緩いわで
親の顔が見てみたいもんですな
Here, the start of the second verse swaps the order. Delinquent sings first, aiming an attack on the honor student’s honor, but instead of defending himself, the honor student attacks back.
The reason these two segments fit together is actually caught when listening to them in the song. The melody in both instances is similar, hence, there is an intent to mirror how they, well, jab each other.
The second example comes from the first pre-chorus, and the third pre-chorus:
ねえねえちょっと聞いてんの
風紀を乱すなって言ってんの
あーはいはいもうわかりました
まー聞く気はないけどね
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ねえねえちょっと聞いてんの
頭に血でも上っちゃってんの
あーはいはいもう分かりました
もうブチ切れちゃうからね
Now, THIS! Though the speakers are swapped, the first and third lines are the same, word for word. But let’s focus elsewhere and count the syllables for the 2nd and 4th lines: 13 and 11 respectively! How do I know this? Well, I know this because I can read the kana. The romaji, however, helps us here too (especially with the kanji as there is no furigana for me to work with. Can you tell I’m a beginner)
Lines 2 and 4 in 1st pre-chorus:
fuu-ki o mi-da-su na-t-te i-t-ten no
ma-a ki-ku ki wa na-i ke-do ne
Lines 2 and 4 in 3rd pre-chorus:
ata-ma* ni chi de-mo no-bo-c-cha-t-ten no
mo-u bu-chi-gi-re-cha-u ka-ra ne
*this is a kanji in the Japanese line and combines two syllables
2. Unique instances outside the chorus (parts that have no “mirror”)
The second pre-chorus:
あーそうですかい
今度したら絶対許しません
This instance specifically follows after the honor student “fires” back, as opposed to the first verse where the delinquent does not outright fight back, but shrugs off the nagging with excuses.
Bridge:
ヘイヘイ坊っちゃん捕まえてごらんなさい
だから廊下は走るなって何回言えば
なあどうした優等生負けを認めますか
どうやら全く反省してないようですね
This moment occurs before the last pre-chorus, where it’s the delinquent’s turn to provoke the honor student, which directly leads to the mirror from the pre-chorus instances.
Okay, so what purpose do these serve? Honestly, to break up the rhythm while still keeping the melodicity of the song.
3. The three chorus
First two have 4-5 lines of text, with the third one going up to 7 due to a unique structure altogether.
1:
いやほんと
お前なんかめっちゃ嫌いだ!
怒っちゃってんのあーらざまみろ
いや絶対に俺の方が上って言って競ってまたギラギラ
2:
いやほんと
お前なんかめっちゃ嫌いだ!
怒っちゃいるが笑顔は隠せない
いや絶対に仲良くとかしないって言って睨んでまたゲラゲラ
3:
ありったけ全部巻き込んでドタバタ 破壊転倒非行でめちゃくちゃ もう一切のものは見ずに一つの敵と戦うのだ いやマジでお前なんかめっちゃ嫌いだ! この先もずっとずっと嫌いだ! んで制裁食らって 仲直りって言った五秒後にはメラメラ
On the text, I want to note the usage of onomatopoeia to close off all three instances, and all of them are essentially go like this: []ra[]ra, with the ‘ra’ sound repeating.) (the green is marked with a reason. They're marked with red.
If you were to look at the romaji and/or translation, it’s obvious that certain instances of the song here would repeat.
But now, I want to note how special the third chorus is in the backdrop of the first two. As the song progresses, the listener witnesses the reveal that the two speakers/singers are in fact close friends/rivals with an odd dynamic that still indicates that they DO like each other’s company despite butting heads. They enforce their “hatred” for each other in the start of first and second chorus.
In the third chorus though, this part is missing. The chorus opens up with different lines! And just when the third line finishes off, when the previous chorus would begin to wrap up, the singers remember to enforce their hatred for each other! So much so that they enforce it even in the 5th line! All this is sung while they are at their happiest during the song. It’s like an insistence that they both know seems to be untrue. The hatred lines are marked in green.
Closing thoughts
Now, I do want to throw in a few assumptions based on my observations and the "flashback" sequence in the mv.
-I think the honor student is definitely more aggressive in responses, while the delinquent is more relaxed (even in his attacks). Part of it can be attributed to the fact that the honor student seems to be more easily riled up, while also harboring frustrations for what appears to have been some form of estrangement.
-The general dynamic that I want to mention is that people who get straight As can sometimes... get inflated egos. And with someone like the delinquent who clearly seems to not be doing the best, you can see that maybe part of him not firing back as aggressively as the honor student may be that he know what fights to continue? He's generally more lax but it could also be him not wanting to fully engage. Yet he knows when to be a bastard, but his way of engaging with the honor student is different. It could also be because Im gonkba
Anyway I’m not a pro at this, and I don’t claim to say anything groundbreaking. I mostly wanted to overexplain the parts I like the most. Thanks for reading
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rockore · 8 months
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Has anyone put this here yet???? Ok ahem ahem sit back and buckle up as you hear me ramble about Mac and bloo's friendship because wowzers I have a lot so say
ALRIGHT ALRIGHT. Maybe I could be remembering some points wrongly, so do tell me if that ever happens so lol
noticing a pattern where a lotta people have claimed that Mac and bloo's friendship is considered "toxic", because of how big of a jerk Bloo acts towards Mac.
Well it is true, keep in mind that according to google atleast, the most accurate definition for that term is : a friendship where one of the party gets emotionally or physically hurt/used where it becomes a burden.
Think about it, if their relationship was really a burden Mac wouldn't really be willing to even give in the effort to visit him which shows how strong their bond is!! Sure it could maybe just be excused as a strong friendship, which it is (and basically clears the entire point of their friendship being toxic too btw)
I'm gonna try to keep it as short as I can, but here's something i wanna also clear up about Bloo being the selfish one
a lotta people would also say that bloo's personality drastically changed later on, but *in my opinion* it could honestly be viewed as the other way round where Mac is the one who actually grew up and matured instead.
Try to think outside the big picture - bloo's annoying and dumb behaviour could honestly be something him and Mac would uses to do/behave as before he grew up and matured if You. Get it (hopefully this makes senseLOL)
it could be described more as bittersweet, rather than toxic since imaginary friends could not age whilst their owners? Mmhm
Also how Bloo was intentionally supposed to be Mac's playdate where they you know goof around but as Mac grows older, he simply can't relate to Bloo as much anymore.
to close this off they definitely still care about each other very dearly in the end! You can also see how Bloo would truly show more affectionate back if it wasn't for his selfishness and ego in the way everytime!
OH WAIT In the middle of writing this here are some other good points my friend bought up:
Basically the entire point of Foster's is leaving your imaginary friends there as the owners grow older and stuff but in Mac's situation he doesn't just leave Bloo like that!!! He is actually WILLING to still hang out w Bloo no matter how "different" they could be from eachother
This point is similar as the one I've mentioned above, js wanted to throw this into here aswell since it makes my point more justified :)
Ok that's enough for now YEAYYYY
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maddestmewmew · 14 days
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not to say boycotts dont work or arent important bc they ARE. but why is the height of activism rn if you go to starbucks or not
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intimidatingsqueak · 10 months
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smapxsmap (1999.10.4)
im actually breakin’ my own heart over here
(read tags if you want a bit of a nonsensical ramble…😭)
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funshinebf · 2 years
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ok so the quarry had characters use the g slur at least twice and one of the characters was kind of an anti roma? stereotype. im not roma myself so if anyone who is has mentioned this please let me know and ill reblog that, but i just think people should know since ive mostly seen fandom posts and nothing about the use of the slur or stereotypes
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catgirlcommie · 2 years
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interesting thing is Kasen's base, Ibarakaridoujin, is even trans so to speak in japanese mythology. being referred to as a guy before becoming shutendouji (suika's) wife
omg.... wiat does this confirm that the four diva's were married and then got divorced omg this is amazing
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puphoods · 1 month
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ive only seen bits and pieces of what happened to predesterone, i know they got deleted (at least twice) and the ceo is making defamatory statements about them, but im genuinely confused as to where I could find this all going down. if u dont wanna gather links or whatever i get it its just that everything popped up on my dash suddenly and i want to know whats happening but i dont know how to find out
theres obviously a lot of people posting rn but ill try to get some links together to sum it up as best i can find- keep in mind i never followed her myself and only distantly knew of her so there are people closer to the situation that probably have more stuff they can tell you though, and searching her url(s) has a lot of info
avery has i think two blogs deleted yeah, unsure about any older ones but predstrogen and avewy/predesterone were both deleted very recently
predstrogen (the first blog) was allegedly deleted for "sexually explicit material" despite any posts that may have been labelled as such being marked with a community label and her blog recently being manually approved as NOT containing adult content. she also talks in this post, as well as here, about how she has had a support ticket open for several months for harassment she was receiving that has not been dealt with
this is an example of the threats and harassment she has been receiving. ive seen a few different people get this ask copy pasted
the CEO of tumblr made a post wherin he publicly aired information regarding her deletion and threatened legal action against her , showing examples of the alleged death threats where no actual threats were made and telling people in the replies to just leave if they were unhappy with the moderation of the site
avery made a post about this and her new blog was again deleted within five minutes of her making it
multiple people who have made posts about the situation have said matt has DMed them and confronted them
this is word im hearing secondhand, so if i get any details wrong please correct me, but posts of hers such as her transition timeline are apparently ones that were flagged. i cant find any screenshots but many of her posts, including one that was a silly edit of a snow leapord wearing shoes, have been completely wiped from the site. if anyone has a screenshot or link to both the original post and it being deleted i can add it to this
again there are a lot of posts going around but these are i think what you really need to know whats going on...
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requiemsystem · 2 months
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ADVICE FOR NEWLY DISCOVERED OR SUSPECTED SYSTEMS
if you suspect you may be a system or have recently discovered that youre a system, things can be confusing and hard. im making this post as someone who has been aware of being a system for about 5 years and has been diagnosed for 2. these are things i wish we knew and did. i hope it will be helpful to some of you and i wish you luck on discovering things about yourself and your system keep in mind everyone is different and systems are no exception, so what i list here might be incredibly beneficial for one person but do nothing for another. find what works for you. i will try to provide a variety of advice in order for you to see what fits you best DO YOUR RESEARCH research the disorder, try to find others experiences and things you think would help you. this is especially helpful if you are suspecting and not yet sure if you have it, researching symptoms and others experiences can be very helpful in determining START SYMPTOM LOGGING this can be as simple as "i blacked out today" or "i dont feel like myself right now", you dont have to be identifying switches or putting names to alters, theres no rush to be able to do that and some systems have no desire to do that symptom logging is useful because it can help you identify potential triggers and patterns in your symptoms. for example, if you can remember what happened before a period of amnesia and remember being exposed to a stressful event or something potentially triggering, this would be worth writing down to see if its a recurring pattern REACH OUT TO OTHER ALTERS this can be done in a variety of ways, but the easiest way would be to leave a note in a place itll be seen. for example, a sticky note on a mirror (if you live with other people and cant do this, try leaving a note on your phone in a frequently checked app) i would advise saying something along the lines of "hello, i am (name) and i would like to communicate with you. i suspect we have a disorder called (DID/OSDD) and we share the same body and mind. please write back to me in (location, can be a notebook or app etc) and tell me some about yourself if you feel comfortable" but you can say whatever works for you. i just think the main points to cover are having DID/OSDD and introducing yourself as well as asking for an introduction in return START WORKING ON COMMUNICATION this takes a lot of practice, so i always say its better to build up early rather than late. we have a whole post on it that can be found here REMINDERS AND THINGS TO REMEMBER if you do not remember your trauma, do not dig for it. it isnt safe to try to remember trauma without professionals help. if you happen to remember, thats one thing, but dont intentionally seek out triggers to try to remember denial is common and not a sign of faking, if you were faking you would know and would not be in denial. being wrong about having DID/OSDD (if you are suspecting but not sure) is not the same as faking no two systems are the same. you dont have to look exactly like some other system you know or online to be real its normal to not know everything right away. you wont know all your alters immediately, you may not be able to access (and you may not have) your innerworld, you probably wont remember all of your trauma without professionals help, etc. its all normal its totally ok to keep information about your system private. there is no need to share with anyone you do not feel completely safe and comfortable with switching at any frequency is normal, there is no "correct" amount to switch. any amount of alters is normal, there is no "correct" amount of alters. any level of amnesia is normal, there is no "correct" level of amnesia apps like simply plural and bots like pluralkit can be incredibly helpful for some systems, but there is absolutely no pressure to use them if you do not feel comfortable - grey
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generalsmemories · 4 months
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Ginkgo leaves
✧ jing yuan x gn!reader
✧ based on the ask: Since reqs are open, you think you could write jing yuans reaction to his lover being Mara-struck? Thank you! - requested by anonymous
✧ contents: established relationship, angst, hurt/almost no comfort lmfao, implied character death, mentions of other characters, pov mostly written in jing yuan's pov, still usage of 2nd pov (referring the reader as you), mayhaps ooc because jing yuan is an emotional wreck.
✧ a/n: when i tell ya'll i legit struggled to be able to write this entire thing. there's been like 3-4 scrapped drafts because halfway through writing i would just NOT be satisfied with the result. to the anon who requested this, i'm so sorry it took this long - but i hope the upcoming trainwreck makes up for it! a trainwreck im still not actually satisfied with LMFAO. but it's better than the other 5 scrapped works. also not beta-read so fellas if u see a spelling error - no you didn't.
p.s: some mara-struck information i give here are totally fanmade for the purpose of this fic alone, as such don't take whatever i write about mara here as what actually happens canonically to characters (then again most of the playable characters have different symptoms of mara themselves).
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"Benefactor, am I correct to believe you're asking me if the general has any specific interests?" Tingyun asks with a snicker, the trailblazer looking away from her prying eyes while mumbling a quiet yes.
"Some of the younger... Can I call them younger? Anyway, some of the younger Xianzhou citizens are very infatuated with the general. Seeing as I've been announced as his honory guest, they do often come and ask me various things to try and gain his favor. So yeah, anything at this point will work - so please!" the trailblazer hurriedly explained, clasping their hands together in a desperate attempt to get anything from the foxian amicassador leaning back with a quirked eyebrow.
"Ahh, love truly makes someone go blind doesn't it," she muses out loud, the trailblazers' eyebrow furrowing together in confusion over the foxian's lady choice of words, "... You're not entirerely wrong with that statement..."
"Do you want to know what his favorite flower is?" Tingyun asks, ignoring the confused question that had been uttered to her, snapping her fan open to hide the cheeky smile that spread across her lips - but anyone could still tell that her eyes were gleaming with mischief as the trailblazer nodded their head.
"He doesn't have one."
"Then why did you even-"
"But he likes ginkgo leaves."
The trailblazers' eyes widened in shock, and rightfully so because the very thing ginkgo leaves are associated with are after all...
"He had a lover once, and as far as I'm aware, his last moment with them while they still had their consciousness intact was surrounded by ginkgo leaves."
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Jing Yuan whilst having forgotten almost every single moment with you, does unfortunately remember the exact details of the day that your descent into madness started. Because what he witnessed wasn't a futile struggle you had with yourself to not to destroy everything within your vicinity. Instead, he witnessed the slow process of your bright self becoming an empty shell, only capable of uttering a few words.
It's comical really, even when faced with a curse that struck everyone mad - he found out that it oddly fit your character to not go mad, but instead become the complete opposite of your gentle self. A hollow shell of the person he fell in love with all centuries ago.
Jing Yuan knew he had to end your suffering right then and there when you first started to show signs.
But he couldn't - This wasn't something that had to be immediately dealt with, his hand wasn't forced like it was back when he had to slay his own master down before she took more lives.
No, this was a normal afternoon on what would've been another normal, mundane day in both of your lives. But everything went wrong the moment Jing Yuan heard the breaking of glass, and how there was a lone gingko leaf inside the palm of your hand - a ginkgo leaf that you were staring wide-eyed at with a trembling hand.
You were too far from the veranda to have a ginkgo leaf in your hand.
General Jing Yuan would've ended your suffering the moment you turned around to lock eyes with him, your own face twisted into one of utter fear.
General Jing Yuan would've reported you the to Ten-Lords Commissions as the law had stated. But Jing Yuan couldn't - because Jing Yuan knew that the moment he did, he would never see you again.
So he decided for once he would be selfish. Jing Yuan rarely made choices lately that was based off of his own feelings, but his time with you was cut too harshly, so once again he chooses to be selfish. Even if that meant that it would prolong your suffering just a tiny bit more. "... We can figure something out," was the only thing he could muster up the courage to say with a shaking voice. You didn't say anything, your mouth wobbling a tiny bit and your breathing getting harsher by the second.
But still you indulged him - you always did. So with an equally wobbly smile, you only nodded your head slightly, "... Sure."
That wobbly smile and expression of utter fear was the last genuine expression that truly came from yourself.
The descent to becoming fully mara-struck is usually a fast process, the curse able to completely overtake someone's mind within the same day the symptoms appears - rendering the person completely vulnerable with the only alternative to either hand themselves in to the Ten-Lords or wait for the Ten-Lords to come to them personally.
Your usual easy-going smile was gone, in its stead was eyes that kept going in and out of focus. Almost as if you were desperately trying to keep yourself grounded - a battle you both knew would end with your defeat.
Jing Yuan didn't dare to venture outside of the house. One step out and every Cloud Knight would've been on you within seconds to subdue you. He had first initially resorted to just holding you within his arms for as long as he could, to be able to remember how you felt like after your death.
But with the minimal strength you had left, you had wobbled to the garden, every step taken only making you pant heavily. But even with heavy breaths of air leaving your lips, you had refused to take Jing Yuans hand or offer to even carry you out to the garden. When you had managed to reach the ginkgo tree standing tall at the center of the garden, Jing Yuan was sure you were going to collapse in front of it, taking a quick step to catch you.
But instead you had merely reached your hands up, the falling leaves fluttering gently down onto your palms. And while you were in indescriable pain for the last couple of hours - Jing Yuan could only see a serene expression when you looked up at the ginkgo leaves that were continously falling down.
"... They're beautiful... aren't they... Jing Yuan? It's almost a pity... that these beautiful... leaves are associated with our doom," you said softly. Jing Yuan could feel his breath hitch in his throat when you uttered his name.
You're obviously struggling to convey whatever thoughts you still had to him properly, taking a moment in between words to catch your breath, eyebrows furrowed slightly as you fought against the searing pain that was spreading through every nerve in your body.
There's a sudden gust of wind which causes the pile of leaves in your hands to flutter away from your grasp. Your hand stretches out slightly, almost in an attempt to reach out for them - stumbling a bit in your step. The limp causes Jing Yuan to take a quick step forward with his arms outstretched. Perhaps seeing him in your peripheral vision causes you to stop the futile attempt to catch the escaping leaves, arms going limp against your side as you turn to face him - your once blank expression turning into a somber smile instead.
Jing Yuan thinks that it's unfair how normal you look in front of him - almost as if you haven't been becme mara-struck. Like nothing has happened to you aside from the ginkgo leaves fluttering from your lips whenever you cough. The same cough that causes the general of Luofu to flinch every time - without fail.
And perhaps you can see his inner turmoil, the way he tries to make eye contact with you, but is unable to after a few seconds. The way his hands clench too hard into fist to the point droplets of blood fall down to the grass and stains it a deep red while he bites his own lips to not say a word - lest he says something that he will regret.
And you truly wish that you could tell him everything is okay like you usually do.
But for the first time since the day he lost his friends, you can't.
"... I'm sorry," you finally say, the apology making him whip his head up to you again. Mouth opening to say something to comfort you, to tell you that it's not your fault. But the words are unable to leave his mouth when he sees your arms slightly outstretched towards him with a small smile.
And he can't hold it in anymore.
It only takes him a few wide steps to reach you from his position before he cradles you within his arms. The grip is tight, unbearably tight to the point it hurts, but you don't complain. You're limp in his hold, and if this was any day he wouldn't comment, but the fact that you're not moving a single muscle terrifies Jing Yuan to the core. "... Please," he finally manages to whisper, the rustling of ginkgo leaves around you almost drowning out his quiet plea.
"Please don't make me do this again."
He doesn't ask if the tensing of your body is caused by the pain that's rapidly increasing or if it's caused by his silent confession. He can however feel the gentle hand that rests against the lower part of his back and your head resting against the side of his own. The reassurance you try to give him does nothing to help because he's aware that it probably brought you unmeasurable pain to try to move those limbs - instead the general buries his face closer to your neck and squeezes you tighter.
"... You won't." you whisper quietly.
It takes a moment for Jing Yuan to process the meaning behind those two words.
But it's a moment too late, because before he can get his phone out to usher a command, a few resounding knocks can be heard throughout the quiet mansion.
"General Jing Yuan. This is Xueyi of the Ten-Lords commission. I've gotten information that there's currently a mara-struck within these premises."
Jing Yuan feels his blood run cold, he pulls himself away from you to stare at you properly in disbelief.
You're still staring at him with the same somber expression, however he can tell there's a small pitiful smile grazing your lips, "I'm sorry," you whisper once again.
"I asked her... personally," you start, finally letting yourself rest now that the end is near, slumping down onto Jing Yuan's chest, your ear settling itself against his heart to hear his rapid heartbeats.
Jing Yuan loathes the fact that it's at this moment, with the Ten-Lords commission outside of your door and with him completely broken do you actually look at peace - like your battle against time has finally come to its conclusion.
And naturally, the one who lost is you.
"Half a day... with you. Then she would come and bring me there. You won't have to... do this again."
You're not able to see Jing Yuan's face - and Jing Yuan wouldn't want you to see how he looked like right now. The arms around you is trembling, his mind is racing - trying to come up with anything to give him a bit more time with you.
But for once, the general that had a plan for every situation had nothing in mind.
He's lost. And the prize of the loss this time is losing you forever.
"General, I apologize for the rudeness of what I'm about to do, but this is for both of your safety," Jing Yuan hear Xueyi mutter from outside of the door, before he hears the rattling of the door frame start to slide open.
"Wait- no," it's a quiet request that gets ignored as Xueyi strides in alone, the lack of company making Jing Yuan's eyebrows furrow in confusion.
"... Their last request along with the request for my late arrival here was for the Cloud Knights to not see you like this. Naturally I won't tell anyone of what I've seen today."
Jing Yuan doesn't care about that, he could care less about his image right now, pulling you closer to him while his eyes are downcast - he makes no move to hand you over to the judge.
The puppet judge before him does not say anything - nor does she make a move. What she does however is wait, wait for the general before her that has been utterly crushed and broken by the person in his arms start to accept the harsh truth once again.
If he doesn't handle the mara-struck himself, someone else would - but the end result only serves to punish him in the end, the one left behind.
Xueyi hears a silent breath be let out by the general, her once closed eyes opening up to see the general pull slightly away from you, one hand reaching up to cradle your cheek. Your eyes have long since closed, and you're most likely not even conscious to hear what he's about to say.
"My dear... I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you. But I'm afraid you'll have to wait a bit longer before we can meet again," he whispers, bumping his forehead against your own gently, "I hope you won't fault me for that."
A long ginkgo leaf flutters right between the two of you, eventually settling down on your chest.
Jing Yuan sucks in one last deep breath, "I'm sorry I kept you here for so long - I'm sorry you had to be in pain for so long because of me," he leans in to slot his lips one last time over your own, whispering something that Xueyi can't hear before he rises up, your body limp in his arms.
"Thank you for your service Miss Xueyi, please see them off appropiately." Jing Yuan says, voice sounding eerily calm - almost like his usual self.
When he turns around to finally face her, the puppet's lifeless eyes seem to grow a bit in surprise. Before her is the general of Luofu, his usual easy-going smile present on his lips.
Like he wasn't carrying his mara-struck lover in his arms.
"As much as I would want to accompany you to see them off, I'm afraid I have some urgent matters to attend to," he informs, handing your body over to Xueyi - she doesn't comment on how his hands are still slightly trembling or how he immediately turned a bit to the side to ignore staring at her head-on.
Even though Xueyi doesn't want to ask, she still asks either way, "What are your plans from here on, general?"
Jing Yuan only gives her a close eyed smile, turning his gaze towards the large ginkgo tree with his hands behind his back. He gnaws a tiny bit at his lips, finally breathing out.
A couple of seconds passes by before he opens his mouth.
"I think I'll meditate a bit under this tree before heading back to the Seat. I can't leave Luofu without me for too long after all."
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5 SCRAPPED WORKS AND I'M STILL NOT ACTUALLY THAT SATISFIED BUT IF I KEEP THIS PIECE LONGER IN THE WORKS THE MORE I'LL BUTCHER IT SO HAHA - THIS IS THE BEST WE CAN DO AFTER 3 MONTHS OF CONSTANT BACK AND FORTH FELLAS. I HOPE IT SQUEEZED YOUR HEART A TINY BIT NONETHELESS.
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miguelsslvt · 6 months
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SO AFTER READING your ... Miguel smut 😩✊ which is so freaking good and I wanted to ask if you can make an bodyguard/brat tramer !Miguel x FM/sassybrat!reader PLS I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE PLS SMUT please I'm on my knee on this idea like pls imagine Miguel trying n to do his job but FMbrat!reader wouldn't stay put and bend her over any surface and GO ABOUSTLY *Feral*ON her not giving READER ANY BREAK ! ONLY making her an moaning MESS while SAYING such thing like
"Oh? ..f-fu..So... This will shu-fu-ck!~....You so tight huh? You like when.!-.. I treat you like a...~!*fucking*slut" *"Mis extremas*" ( I use Google translate I'm so sorry if it wrong pls correct me I am!😭)
🗣🗣🗣🗣😩😩✊I CANT I NEED THIS PLS GURLL!.mother I love your writing🙌
(Im definitely a normal think about this man ,Miguel ohara)
bodyguard! brat tamer! miguel x brat! reader smut
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word count: 445
TW: hugely nsfw, hair pulling, overstimulation, creampie.
A/N: SWEETHEART I FEEL YOU!! i was so excited to do this request because as a brat myself, i love this concept so much. brat tamer miguel has my heart djhisdjdgkl!! anyways, welcome to the club! ^^
god, did you regret not listening to his warning sooner. you were in the kitchen, whining as usual.
'no! i don't want to go see my dad!!' 'y/n your father wants to make sure y-' 'i don't care! who are you for me to listen to!? you aren't anyone special!' you whined. god, you were such a princess.
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'still not anyone special am i, sweetheart? because i-.. ay coño... i think i'm the one fucking you so hard you can't focus right now.~' he said behind your ear, as you held onto the kitchen counter for dear life. you were a moaning mess, eyes rolled back as miguel relentlessly plowed his way into you.
'aww poor princess.. can't even process a single word other then my name hm?~' he teased, pulling your hair back as you let out a squeal. 'm-miguel!! p-lease~ g-gonna-' 'oh no no muñeca.. only good girls get to cum. and i don't think you've been good have you?' he mocked, as you moaned in response, drool spilling from your mouth. miguel let out a light chuckle.
'aw look at you, you're lucky your dad let me to take care of you, hm? i wonder what he would think if he saw you like this.. all blabbering nonsense as your bodyguard fucks some sense into you~'
god, you couldn't feel anything. you were close, so close. but you knew that if you'd cum, miguel would make this so much worse then it had to be. even though you liked a challenge, you couldn't even form words to think right now, let alone another punishment.
'i-i'll b-be g-good! i-i swear!' you cried out, a moaning mess as tears and drool fell down your face, down to your neck. your hair stuck onto your forehead, as the restr was held by miguel's strong hand, where his other was on your hip, guiding you deeper onto his 9 inches.
'good? yeah? you'll be good for me muñeca?' he panted, feeling his climax arising. 'm-mhm!! y-yes- m-miguel ple-ase!~' you moaned out, as he let go of your hair and started to play with your clit.
you were practically chanting 'yes, please, miguel' as if your life depended on it. 'g-gonna..! i- m-miguel-' 'shh.. cum for me sweetheart, i know i know, you've been too good for me to not let you cum.' he said, as with that, you broke.
as your pussy spasmed around his cock, miguel let out a loud groan as he came moments after you, filling you. you gasped for air, as he panted with you.
wait, didn't your dad request to see you earlier? is that a knock on the door?!
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gowonminajxx · 9 months
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— full bed.
a miguel o’ hara fic ~ 1st part here, not required.
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— NSFW miguel o’ hara x fem!reader
you are mayday’s babysitter. miguel insists on drinks after mayday falls asleep and is picked up by peter. for a quick summary, it leaves you in his bed.
\\ quick A/N :: thank you guys for so much recognition recently 😭 im very new to fanfic writing, so i wasnt expecting the nice requests + messages i got. thank u as a whole
quick taglist :: @neverlandlostchild - @hachipachiwachi - @antiliqueorbs
// CWs :: extreme smut, biting, blood. p in v. extra shit at the end. just 3 words of fluff tbh,......
// other notes :: i’m latina myself ! although i am not fluent in spanish, so please correct me if anything is wrong 🎀🎀
“ cariño — honey, dear
miumiulicious 2023.
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pain.
you were a little sensitive to it, but overall had a better tolerance for it than other people. obviously, mental pain hurt a lot worse than physical, but — why was the current state of physical pain you were in so pleasureful?
you had never found yourself enjoying something so much, allowing a pleasureful feeling to drive someone else wild, like an animal, as they grew based off of your whimpers. your cries, your shaking body, the tingling sharpness on your neck after dominant marks were placed on it. marks of miguel.
his inhumane fangs would dig abnormally deep into your skin, sucking every last bit of energy out of you — including your supper and sweet blood. the little soft grunts he'd add on after, combined with his aggressive, pessimistic words to you, just made you so crazy.
the mixture of both of your need for this kind of sexual intimacy drove you both insane, so psychotic miguel just couldn't get enough of you. his head had immediately lowered down, even if he didn't get enough of your red liquids from your neck.
his breath was hot against your naked folds, sending chills all over you, goosebumps appearing as teased you. his teasing was so soft, yet so dominant.
"so wet, already, huh?" a once furrowed brow raised on his face as he stared into your eyes, irises swiveling and swirling with only one feeling for how this night would go on — lust.
he dominated you by getting on top, your legs being spread out right in front of his crotch. while his thick hands caressed your face as he spoke, you couldn't make out a word he was saying, your ears almost ringing as your vision felt a little hazy. must of been the thirsty blood withdrawal he performed on you.
you shivered a little as he unzipped his pants, swearing that a cold breeze had just passed by in the room while your eyes widened at his cock size. he was so easily hard, precum already seeping as his grin grew at your shock. this would be fun.
without any explanation or communication whatsoever, he slammed his hips against you, chest leaning over yours as his head redirected to the space on the bed beside yours. his arms rested on the blankets while you couldn't rest at all, your body tensing up, shrieking as your walls clenched around his hard length. your arms instantly wrapped around his wide back, clawing into the skin.
no matter if it was start or finish, miguel's cock had kissed your cervix in all the right ways, but it was so rough, screams escaping your already opened lips. his pace quickened, already nearing his climax as you felt his cock get hard inside of you.
he whispered into your ears clearly, your blurred hearing already being forgotten about. with a low grunt mixed with a seductive whisper, he spoke.
"love my huge cock inside of you, huh? hitting you in all the right ways.." he bit his lip, breath hitching in his throat as he quickened his pounds against your clit. his balls slapped against you, creating the loudest claps you've ever heard in your life. your nails dug further into his back, a natural reaction while your body loosened up just a bit.
"scream, just for me, cariño.." he groaned, combining with your muffled expanded moans. the way his cock abused your walls so roughly just felt the best, no matter the pain level.
"m-miguel.. m' gnna'.." you murmured as his hips bucked against yours, cock sending shock waves of fluids mixed with your own screams through out your body before you orgasmed. he didn't seem to take note of the fluids covering his cock, and quickened his thrusts even further, grunting like an animal — almost loudly whimpering like he was desperate for this pretty clit of yours.
the moment absorbed everything, his breath speeding up just like yours, letting out the most boisterous groans of his life, before he finally climaxed in unison with you — your second orgasm while it was his first.
almost as if he knew this would happen, his length pulled out rapidly, his thick white fluids decorating your chest and stomach like a cake decoration. you let out your last moan, panting as you felt your body finally realize its extreme heat. you felt like you were in a pot of lava, and he could relate.
his body collapsed over yours, cock resting vertically on your clit, rubbing against it a little. sighing, he placed a kiss on your neck, licking the previous wounds as if he was still searching for blood. you winced at this, before he kissed you on your cheek. your hands still held tight onto his back, before he laid next to you like a limp stuffed animal.
"fuck.." he cursed lowly, before tensing up as you wrapped your exhausted arms around him. his eyes widened despite yours shutting calmly, cheek pressed against his rib.
you smiled as his arms shortly wrapped around your back, hugging you in close.
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(?) extra ::
before you left in the morning, scrambling out of bed and rummaging through the room for your clothes, miguel had scared you.
you were walking to the kitchen, grabbing your keys and phone, looking around to check if anything, or anyone was there. normally you wouldn't expect yourself to leave so calmly after a hookup with someone who paid you to babysit a child, but you did so, no words mentioned to yourself.
when you turned around, miguel had been standing right behind you the whole time, like an eagle. you were frightened at this, yelping as you stepped backwards into the counter, back slamming into it.
"it's just me, y/n." his eyes blinked like a frog, so groggily yet you still stared into his dark brown circles.
"oh." you murmured, before rubbing the back of your neck awkwardly, and without another word he handed a small paper to you.
the paycheck, you thought. what was he even paying me for if he had done all those things with me last night?
you nodded respectfully, not peeping a word as you opened the door to exit his place. you took not even one step foot out of the door before he gripped on your shoulder — a little too tight.
"take it as an appreciation token for last night." he said blankly, not even a wink or a smirk or whatever a pair did after sex. you hesitated to even respond, but instead just nodded like you did before.
he shut the door before waving, a soft smile widening up on his face before the click of the door. you walked out, heading out to travel back to your place, opening up the check steadily.
he had paid you 2x more than your original pay.
a token of appreciation.
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A/N :: yayyyy i was so excited to write this for my friends + basically the whole taglist. hope u enjoyed my miguel o'papi writing!!!
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lovers-rck · 5 months
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fic rec where someone from the club hosts a party and reader and hazel go and they get a little drunk and pj locks them in a room together until they admit their feeling to each other and things get a little hot n heavy :)
intentional lowercase ;) thank you!
also i did a very vague correction so forgive me if there are any mistakes! english is not my first language.
"seven minutes in heaven!" you hear pj yell and run away, except that you and hazel weren't playing that game.
hazel chukled and went to open the door, almost tripping over a ball of dirty cloth. She grabbed the door handle and tried to open.
the first time doesn't work, but she knows she is a little bit drunk and maybe she was opening the wrong way. the second time doesn't work either, and that's when she starts to worry.
"it's locked" she says "pj locked the door"
"what? " you say "let me try" the room is dimly lit, highlighting the worried features that took over hazel's face.
you grab and try to open the door. one, two, three times later you realized that, in fact, is locked. pj locked the door and ran away for who knows how much time.
"im sure this is one of her pranks" hazel looks at you, her eyes a little sleepy from the alcohol "she will come back in a few minutes"
but you are impacient. three minutes has passed. you look at the posters in Annie's walls, all with a inspirational quote about women and printed pictures of Simone de Beauvoir. five minutes. hazel groans in protest, looking at her dirty shoes and thinking why she didn't clean them before going out, she's embarrassed now. seven minutes pass. eight. nine. ten. eleven. twelv...
"pj!" hazel screams "pj let us out please! i already apologized to you when i said that you only created the club to fuck cheerleaders! please!"
for the next ten seconds the only things you hear is hazel's voice, she's loud and desperate, her hands hitting the wooden door for so long that you almost find a rhythm.
eventually hazel gives up, and in a matter of seconds all the loud noises that she made earlier end up causing her a big headache. she feels less drunk than before, but the after feeling isn't so much better. then she looks at you, sitting in the floor, your legs crossed like a kid and your eyes resting. you were a chill drunk, hazel was a chaotic one.
she find a very strange feeling looking at you, something growing in her stomach. hazel never saw you the way she was seeing you now, always admiring you in secret, always playing the fool when you catch her eye in between classes or practice. she knew that this wasn't product of the alcohol, and that scared her.
so she tried and is currently trying to ignore that little feeling growing inside of her, that little tiny and obviously-not-romantic feeling that became stronger everyday.
okay yes. she was in love with you. so what?
it was not a big deal. it's not like at the very sight of you she becomes dumb and slow and words come out of her mouth like vomit without thinking. it's not like she freeze everytime you touch her or grab her hand. it's not like she is completely, hopelessly, in love with you.
okay it was bad.
"we have to get out of here" hazel says "I'll become anxious and you know i left therapy last week!"
so you get up and grabs hazel's hand. you guide her to sit in Annie's bed, standing in front of her and demand her to breath with you.
inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale.
you don't let go of her hand at any time, and neither does hazel. you look at her, her eyes are closed and her lips swell as she exhales the air as you taught her. you look at her and the sudden impulse to scream what you feel for her invades you.
but you two are friends, and friends don't do that. friends help each other without expecting anything in return. but you realized that you didn't want to be hazel's friend when after every shared moment you expected something in return, something to give you a hint, something to answer the doubt that has been in your heart for a long time.
¿did she look at you with those eyes in purpose? ¿did she caressed your cheek in accident that one time? ¿did she makes jokes about couples with you just for the laughs? ¿did she likes you?
the last question is the worst, you consider.
"thank you" hazel says, and you smile slightly in return. always waiting for something else.
and you think she gaves you something in return when you feel her thumb caressing your hand. she stares at your intertwined hands, and so do you.
shyness takes over your bodie, and the giggly and playful hazel disappears. it was always easier to pretend that nothing happened, that all the touches were accidents and all the looks meant nothing. to pretend that they were just meaningless feelings.
but neither of you can do that anymore when you feel hazel pull your hand slowly, bringing your body closer to hers but leaving a space, leaving open the door of regret. you close that door the moment your free hand caresses her face and she smiles at you.
"can i..."
"yes" you say "please"
she obey and guide your bodie to bend down slightly for her to kiss you. you inhale sharply when her lips makes contact with yours for the first time, and suddenly a scared feeling takes over your body
but hazel grabs your face and you understand that there is nothing to fear when you are with her.
her kiss is delicate and slow, but hungry. she grabs your legs and sits you in her lap, not getting enough of you. her mind cannot comprend what is happening, but is unable to stop it. her fingertips swim across your skin, trying to memorize every feeling, every texture that is so new to her.
she fears that she might be a little rough or fast with you, that maybe she crossed the invisible line. she freeze and for a moment she just stay there, her forehead against yours, breathing and trying to process the last five minutes.
"did i do something wrong?" you murmured
"no, no, you did nothing wrong"
"what's wrong?"
she swallows and hold your hand "nothing is wrong"
"don't be scared"
"im not scared" hazel replies, hating how you read her so easily. you raise you eyebrow "okay maybe i am a little scared"
"of what?"
you heard how the girls are laughing at something downstairs.
"i don't know" she exhales "im afraid you won't be my friend anymore after this"
"we were kissing and you were all worried about our friendship?
"yes!" she replies "your friendship is very important to me"
"i know" you gently put a strand of hair behind her ear "your friendship is important to me too. im not gonna ignore you after this if that's what you fear hazel"
"okay" she nodds "okay"
you laugh slightly "okay"
and you kiss her again, more desperate than before. hazel quickly responds to your body and grabs your waist, pushing you towards her.
you move slightly in her lap and she gasp. the strap of your shirt falls off your shoulder and hazel leaves your lips to find a home on the skin of your neck and shoulder. she kiss and bite the flesh, your breathing becoming a little louder.
in a bold act, you grab hazel's hands and place them in your breasts, hoping that she would catch the sign.
and she does, so she moves you shirt up and start massaging your flesh, you nipples alrrady hard to receive hazel's hands. you whimper lightly when you feel hazel's tongue, leaving a trail of kisses all over your tits.
her hand starts going down when you both heard the lock of the door and a scream
"oh my god!" pj screams and hazel cover your breast with her hands in panic "oh my god! guys! guys! oh my god"
pj jumps and start running away, her screams invading the house
"it worked! guys it worked!" pj screams downstairs "the were sucking each other's titties!"
and all the girls scream with her.
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