#OR DONT BECAUSE HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK HES TALKING ABOUT

[dwtdog]

if youre talking about the post i think youre talking about yes that post pissed me off so much because it just proves they dont listen to dream At All 😭😭 like am i tripping or did he literally talk about why he doesnt do "easy" content in the voice notes??? how many times does dream have to say "im passionate about this project and want to invest my time into it" before it fucking clicks like jesus. this is what he likes and therefore what he will do while he has no interest in streaming and playing survival, what is so hard to understand 😭 my boy likes to innovate, hes not gonna be complacent like all these other ccs and do a generic survival smp, do they even know the guy they claim to watch and like?

HE DID. THEY NEVER LISTENNNN if u want casual content tap into a fucking sapnap stream or go find someone else to watch while dream cooks like jesusss

#cq.asks #discourse #acting like ‘people like watching fun streams’ #is a revolutionary take is sooooo reddit core

[sonknuxadow]

you know i do wonder how many sonic characters actually have living parents. like knuckles is the last of his kind so obviously his parents arent around anymore. both guys who could be considered shadows dads are 100 percent confirmed dead. sonic is canonically an orphan im pretty sure. and on the other side of the coin cream is like the only character in the game cast who has a living parent we actually see onscreen. but what about everyone else i dont think theres a straight answer for any other character. other than rouge's mom being mentioned a couple times i Guess but we dont even know anything about her or if shes still alive just that she existed at some point. are these kids constantly putting themselves in danger because they dont have parents around to stop them or because their parents just dont care

#like what about tails. im guessing he didnt have any sort of family he was attached to if he left to be with sonic so quickly #but that doesnt really mean he didnt have parents at all. maybe he had parents and they just sucked i dont know #what about amy. what if she had parents this whole time we just never see them. #what about blaze. considering shes a princess id assume she was born into that role #but i dont know if her parents are ever actually mentioned #maybe theyre dead and there was no one else to take on their role and thats why blaze has so much responsibility at such a young age? #silver . he was born in a wet cardboard box all alone i cant really imagine him hvaing parents sorry #considering charmy is 6 and living with vector. an adult whos obviously not his biological dad. #i feel like something probably happened to charmys parents #espio i dont really question as much #becuase it feels very common in the sonic universe for teenagers to have more freedom than would be expected in real life #or maybe its not that common and the teenagers we're actually following are just living the most fucked up lives ever. i dotn know #but either way. espio where are your parents buddy. are they still alive. vector where are YOUR parents are they still alive #i dont know if i actually want canon explanations for all this though #because its kinda fun not knowing every detail about every characters life and being able to speculate and insert your headcanons n stuff #to be clear im talking about game canon #i know stuff like archie sonic and the sonic movies and the 90s cartoons will sometimes give characters new family members #or talk about their family situation even if the games dont say anything about that sort of thing

[scarletiswailing347]

discliamer since i havent really done that for these kinds of posts and i feel like this one is worded in a more demanding way than i usually do: any post of mine regarding what the ccs "should" do is less me actually wanting them to do what i say and more me speculating on the kinds of actions that they could take, not cause i think im smart or tactical or anything but because this is my idea of what fun is

im watching the tower vod rn and i think the only real way to deal with minute and jumper at this point in the server is to. not

like it probs wont be satisfying to the PlayersTM considering the kind of ppl they are (proactive, confrontational, plays along with the spirit of the server, self-focused morals) but considering the kind of ppl minute and jumper are (reactive, avoidant, prioritizes survival even if it means not great content, normative morals) i think its the only real way to engage with them when it comes to this kind of recursive conflict

like everytime they confront one another it keeps circling back to this moral debate regarding the ethics of killing ppl on fucking Lifesteal of all things and i highly doubt its ever gonna stop (at least for this season) considering none of the new members have really been traumatized the lifesteal way, i dont mean regular smp trauma like war and betrayal and all that jazz cause theyve already got that, i mean Lifesteal trauma: the realization that everything is a cycle, that good and evil doesnt matter, that feeling of hope shattering over and over again, that realization that in the grand scheme of things your ideals dont matter and the only thing you can truly hope for in the server are teammates and allies that wont backstab you, and that even then thats a tall order

so back to Not dealing with jumpertech, i dont mean forgetting what they did, i mean actively avoiding them, acting irrationally scared of them even when theyre being civil, fully putting them in the role of big scary villains, basically still putting what they did at the very forefront but acting like its an insurmountable trauma, planting doubt in their status as heroes, continually being the aggressors just cements in their minds that yes they are the heroes and that yes they are doing the good things

like whether the PlayersTM like it or not this is an unstoppable force vs immovable object kind of situation except the unstoppable force has more to lose by virtue of having a goal that can easily be tided by the immovable object

and i do think they can pull it off, they can lose a fight and lose so much that it breaks their spirit, like jumpertech have both been in kings, they both know how determined at least zam and mapicc are, surely it would be really offputting to see someone youre so used to seeing never giving up to do just that

#mine.txt #i think 4c is maybe the closest to having that Lifesteal TraumaTM i was talking bout but hes not quite there yet #possibly wemmbu as well but truth be told i dont think hes absorbing any of it lol #not even cause hes dense or whatever i just dont think he gives a fuck since hes already inclined to the kind of server ls is #so it would take A Lot to give him Lifesteal TraumaTM #pentar i think rather than being Inclined to the server its more that hes uhhh Adaptive to it for lack of a better word #like hes got the kind of personality where it would also take A Lot to give him Lifesteal TraumaTM #but i think its in the opposite way to wemmbu almost #where rather than it being because hes got the exact kind of personality the server looks for #its instead where his inclinations almost. parry everything that could give him Lifesteal TraumaTM #like he doesnt care that much about loyalty but hes no traitor either; hes good at pvp but doesnt engage in it self-destructively #he goes along with plotlines if he gets involved in them but will set up his own plotlines as well #so om the topic of jumpertech #they seem to firmly put themselves into the role of ''cyclebreakers'' #im curious to see how far they go with it as well as how theyd react to the servers inclination of breaking the hero archetypes #would be interesting to see at least one person not be caught by the cycle even after the Lifsteal TraumatizedTM and actively reject it #i dont even know what thatd look like #closest i can think of is spep but i think he has an acceptance of things and just finding joy in it rather than a rejection #i wrote this all at around midnight so maybe this is all just complete nonsense but its interesting to think of at this moment at least

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

no by all means keep judging cartoon villains solely by if they get redeemed in the end. i know some of us like to talk about other stuff like characterization or entertainment value or nuance as something that makes a good villain. but i think the only thing that actually matters is if the villain ends up on good terms with the protagonist at the end. all the Good TM cartoons with Good TM creators make the villains die a Horrible Death for being Abusers or whatever. and all the Bad TM cartoons with Bad TM creators Forgive Fascists by not making them get publicly executed by the 14 year old protagonist in front of the 8 year old target demographic.

i mean im so glad that more cartoons nowadays are subverting the psyop to support fascists that a few queer artists and queer shows definitely invented in 2017. there are so many popular cartoons doing that. it's almost like there are more properties killing their villains now and in the past than there ever were of properties that didn't do this. and it's almost like whether the villain gets redeemed at the end is more about the context of the story and its themes leading up to a narratively sound decision.

but you know. a few queer shows made by trans ppl were popular and they didn't kill their fascists and even had the gall to make them nuanced while also looking into the harm they did. guess it's trendy to forgive your abusers now because like two cartoons said so. out of like 40 other similarly high profile works that just straight up hit their villains with a bus or smth. by all means. keep heaping praise onto that one show about how they "let their villain just be evil" instead of talking about anything more interesting. that's so subversive, everyone's doing it!

#shut up pandora #check off my 'monthly rant about the treatment of the creators of steven universe and she ra' #this is because of the 'praise' ive been seeing for belos btw #yes i love his panache i love how much he fucks up everything and i love how hes beyond redemption #thats not because he was Born Evil and has always Been Evil??? #ppl who show baby belos going out of his way to make calebs life a living hell and evelyn Rescuing this poor blond boy from his Evil Brothe #i am sending so many bad vibes at you rn #he isnt a good villain bc dana terrace decided to be 'subversive' by not redeeming belos #JUST being subversive while writing the story doesnt mean you make a good story being subversive =/= being good #hes a good villain because while his decisions are dogshit we can understand why he made them on an emotional level #and since gravity falls seems to be the golden standard for modern cartoons i guess #bill cipher also isnt a good villain bc hes evil and they killed him #bill is a good villain bc hes entertaining in the threat he poses #what makes a character a good villain is about stuff they do while theyre being a villain #dont just sum it up with 'duhhh they killed them at the end so its good' thats entirely dependent on the story! #anyway this is specifically about modern western cartoon fandoms #if youre telling me to watch shows that arent modern western cartoons or like. read a book then know that i do that already #this stuff isnt as big of a discourse topic in those circles but im talking about this specific circle rn

[tomboyyyaoi]

i cant describe it but people just putting meryl and milly in the background of vashwood instead of just putting them front and centre in their own piece genuinely feels like im being cucked like why did u even bother

like damn maybe id like the ship more if people didnt just go "theyr so cute and soft and married aahhh so so gentle and femme and girly theyr so cyute" then the only time they draw them is like. idfk them walking in on vash and wolfwood fucking eachothers brains out like god. all talk.

#i think its the only reason i dont like the pairing like. i like them theyr cute but. idk for me theyr not romantic #and its like. really annoying when people just say they ship them but its just lip service bc they rlly wanna pretend they care #but the truth is is that ive seen maybe 3 people put milly/meryl front and centre in their own dedicated art #and it was good #ppl just dont know what to do w them #not that i do either but hey at least i dont claim to ship them #listen im not tryin 2 dictate or anything #but fr it annoys me sm when people pretend to ship them to either go 'see? i do care about women!!! (lie)' or to get them 'out of the way' #DONT SAY U SHIP THEM IF U DONTTTT FUCK STOP PRETENDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #id rather u just leave them out of it like genuinely its such an insult to their characters like god #even nightow doesnt shove them to the back this much and they werent present for like 30 chapters at one point #BECAUSE HE KNEW IT WOULD BE MORE IMPACTFUL TO BRING THEM BACK IN SOME BIG REVEAL AND GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO DO #bc he respected his characters enough to not have them just bumble about in the background doing fuckall while he figured them out #so they were temporarily removed from the plot and them coming back and being Ready 2 Fucken Go was powerful it was so cool #please just respect these girls ffs stop having them be the Background Cardboard Cutout Dykes #so so so so so so annoying 2 me as a meryl and milly lover #rbs off i dont wanna start discourse #also ive talked abt this before

[widevibratobitch]

so i am singing that vitellia in the end... but at what fucking cost.

'you gotta sing this softer'

'what'

'this is mozart'

'this is vitellia'

'this is mozart'

'im singing about how much i hate this mf and want him dead before the end of the day'

'this is mozart'

'i wanna murder a guy'

'this is mozart'

'...'

'softer. gentle. mozart'

'...ok'

#they're killing me here #i already bargained for ONE (1) note in chest (thank you so so much that i am ALLOWED to sing an A3 in chest voice <333) and now THIS #THIS is why people hate mozart. fuck you. #i recorded that rehearsal and the first version sounds SO MUCH BETTER. after i did what she asked me to do its just. so fucking boring. #i hate it here #i love this duet so much but frfr im not sure i wanna do it if i have to do it on their terms. #also like sorry to be a bitch but you're a pianist girl. just stick to your stuff and let me take care of mine. #just because you're playing this like you're constipated because tHiS iS mOzArT doesnt mean the rest of us dont care either. #its possible i never will get the chance to sing the entire vitellia so i want to do justice. as much as im able. to this one chance i get #it took me A Long While to deal with the fact that i wont be able to bark that 'indegno' and 'regno' like i always envisioned. #but like. ok. whatever. i can still make it Entertaining. THIS however. no. no fucking way. #and its not even about me being a big-headed know-it-all who thinks she's better than everyone because. lol and lmao clearly im Not #but this is about having a fucking SOUL. its about actually taking the libretto into consideration too. its about trying to figure out #WHY mozart wrote it the way he did. like sorry but this is another fiordiligi case where its CLEAR that the amplitudes the crazy jumps #are there FOR A REASON. the reason is HE WANTED A CONTRAST. some fucking EMOTION. he sure as hell didnt want it to be Soft And Gentle. #i know it because i talked to him and he told me im right about everything as always and you can eat shit girl bye #grrrrrrrr im so angry #i knos i sound so arrogant here but please. please i just want to make this music fun and enjoyable. i just dont want it to be boring #please understand my vision im begging you

[kidfoundonstreets]

I DONT HAVE THE IMAGES IRGHT NOW BUT YOU UNDETRNSAD?? YOU GET ?? YOLU GET? IM MADLY I NLOV WITH YOU TIWLIGHTRCADE MY GOOD FRIEND MY COMRADEMY RIDE ROD IE

#freak to freak communication you know ? #thank u . u r the best ever <3 #i really enjoy ur rants and talkings always always.. i hope we r buried skeleton together all for meotauls #anyway matty and ahshe silluy in the way that thjey absooltuely fucking hate eahcother nad ahse has dienfitley b #locked many things out as his life froze after his family died therefore he hasnt had time to process the anger towards matty #maybe he has had anger nad bitterness towards other things but i dont feel like matty is high on his priority right now esp #since he doesnt know wher eh eis but hes still a deep rooted issue - and its not thast he hasnt accepted his familys #death exactly (thouhg i guess that is it but in other wording) its that he hasnt accepted it ending like this #he has to think about his family dead to think about summoning them back yet still i do think he does have #many delusions where they are alive and the thought of going back to them is the only thing keeping him going really #sometimes i think about how even wehn hes crossed the line and killed so #mebody hes still going on it feels like a dead corpse being raked across the floor to lose another piece of who he is once again #kid's heart #BUT THAT ISNT WHAT I WNATED TO TALK ABOUT AURGHH!! #i think that in the past maybe possuibnly you have to be another level of ill to get this far #but ashe geeneeuinly thought of matty as a good friend who was close to him etc etc but on mattys side its harder #because theres no clear intetion ill make up my own i say he did value ashe in a way but #in the end what did indeed win out was his hatred and infeoririuty towards ashe - i dont think he even wouldve goen that far #if he didnt know ashe o rmaybe he wouldve done it sooner - he would spend time with ashe normally with the thought #of how hes using him bnack in his head then go home nad the feelings would pile up pile up pile up esp since his parents #would lay the pressure on thick meanwhile whenever he went to ashes house it wa s ashining exmaple #of what he didnt hvae #and because matty is selfish. it drives him insane #i find it kinda funny how ashe got his trust broken by him leaving such a scar yet now hes #lying to people as matty was as well #i can say more but im scared.

[horrorwebs]

why are men literally the fucking worst

#theres a guy in one of my uni friend groups who has a crush on my friend also from the friend group #and she feels so so uncomfortable plus she hasnt done ANYTHING thatd give a hint that she likes him back. bc she doesnt #and now she doesnt feel ok around because hes so attached to her and so so needy and its like. well. way to fuck it up dude. fuck you #he has been acting so strange lately and not in a good way. strange awkward and needy and like. possesive. #her and i also have another friendgroup where frankly i feel much better with and she does too. and its like. well the guy is always like #butting in but now really being part of anything? like its not like he comes over to the grouo to be with all of us hes just sort of . there #talking only to her or sometimes me but its like not nice its weird and annoying #ALSO HES SO PATRONIZING TOWARDS HER ITS AWFUL #AND hes like. a bit older.... where its not like. the weirdest age gap i dont think so. but it IS a bit weird considering some of the things #he has said. like the other day he made a comment about how my friend 'well shes so young like people her age sometimes dont get [x]' like? #if you think she is SOOO young and SOOO out of touch with people your age well why the fuck are you asking others if you have a chance w her #get away from her really #sidenote: today she was telling me and a different friend about this problem and my other friend said it was really uncomfortable and bad + #that he used to think the guy had a thing for ME BEFORE??? and i dont know if he also thought -i- had a thing for him but please god no. #even the hypothetical made me feel super uncomfortable. also i used to feel like that a bit like he might like me and it was bad and gross #so i dropped a comment that let him believe i was a lesbian i think? also got much colder towards him . like. thats what you get fucker #about the lesbian thing i meant that he told me about a friend of his that had it hard coming out as a lesbian and i said like oh yeah being #like that was hard for me also. finding out i was not straight was tough etc . #dont remember if i said the word lesbian i dont think so but i did say i like girls and i didnt mention boys at all so i hoped itd be enough #also people dont really -get- what being asexuas means + didnt want to tell him im ace + techically i Can like boys bc romantic attraction #is undefined to me but i was definetely not going to tell him that bc 1. im much more prone to like a girl and 2. not trying to get his hope #up. #so anyway it was gross to realize other people saw it too so i mightve actually not been insane to think he had a crush on me but it was bad #and also. i really need for my friend to be comfortable in class so i might have to kill him who knows. well see #spikeposting #personal

[yandereiunderscore]

i hate when my beloved tells me hes ok with something then gets mad/upset when i do it

like i had a very clear thing from the start that i go though my beloveds phone/social media and he said he was ok with that but after the first three or so times i went though hes getting defensive about me going through his phone telling me that "nothings changed" even though i can see that hes been on alt accounts because i have his instagram logged in on my phone. he thinks i went through his phone last night (i didnt but i now realize i shouldve) but tonight hes sleeping with his phone in his pocket to make sure i dont or something, hes gotten so many text messages in the past few hours its scary what if hes talking to his ex again i think i might kill myself if thats the case. ive already tried to cut myself because i thought he hated me and wanted nothing to do with me and now hes hiding things even when i directly ask about them (the alt instagram). at this point i dont know if its worth it to even put in the effort anymore, weve been getting into more fights to because he keeps doing things that make me uncomfortable.

after going on to his snapchat ive now realized that im pretty sure he has his ex as a contact on his phone, but i cant check because hes being a little bitch.

#yandere #irlyandere #irlyan #bpd #actuallybpd #borderline personality disorder #why the fuck does he act like im not always on edge because ive had people lie and cheat on me before #its like he doesnt even know what bpd is #even though im always sending stuff about it to him #maybe hes doing it on purpose #maybe hes trying to get me to leave him so he can stay saying that hes nevr broken up with anyone #he acts like i can just be ok with him talking to other girls #i dont think he knows the extent to how crazy i can be #like baby im already trying to get a key logger on your phone so i can see everything you type #you think i wont go out of my way to remove any ugly bitches for interfering with us

[dont-eat-lint-rollers]

still no proper dni but if you watch turkey tom get away from my blog

#champ talks #saw the 'HUGE TRANS DRAMA' tomdark video come across my feed and after watching it i can safely say he sucks ass #trying to say that transphobia and someone using slurs against a trans coworker was 'silly' and 'not a big deal' shut the fuck up #'i got a new haircut so im nonbinary im going by zim now my pronouns are je/jer' being the opener is a bad fucking look babes idk! #especially when in the same video you then go on to only refer to a nonbinary character with she/her and be like 'no thats a girl' #and then TRY AND CLAIM THATS NOT WHAT YOURE DOING #ive always had bad vibes about him bc he just genuinely seemed like he was obnoxious at best and a bad person at worst but like. lord #and he just lets his comment section fill with bigotry because he doesnt give a shit like way to go dude nice to know you dont care about u #he didnt say anything outwardly transphobic so a red mark on shinigami eyes would probably be a bit much but oooooh he needs it SO BAD #he also makes some sketchy comments about a trans furry in that 'gamers won the war' type way #so. what a wonderful time

[healingheartdogs]

People who don't know dog body language who have pushy sketchy dogs are so awful to be around. I told our housemates that their dog Klaus doesn't like me when we went out to watch the eclipse earlier today because I didn't want to go in the fenced yard with him out and they were like "oh no he's fine don't worry." When he saw me he charged up to the fence, high flagged tail, snorting and barking and jumping at the fence and they still were like "oh he's friendly, he just wants to smell you, see his tail is wagging". Like my dude... tail wagging does not mean friendly, and what about the noises he's making rn sounds friendly to you?

Selene's sister grabbed him and I thought she was going to take him inside because she acted like she was going to, but instead she stopped halfway and just held him back while I came into the yard and then let him go to run up and sniff me, which he had very stiff body language the entire time he did so. For a while after that he ignored me because of the kids calling him away and was chill, but still kept coming over and sniffing me occasionally and was very tense each time so I just tried to stay calm and sweet talk him and didn't try to touch him to help defuse the situation.

Then I walked a little away from the group to point out a plant in the yard to Selene's mom which was a mistake because once I was out of the little circle we were standing in he started body blocking me, tense face, stiff body, whale eyeing, and then jumping at me and barking. They tried to call him away and were like "oh he's just trying to get you to play, sorry he's so demanding of attention." I started trying to walk toward the gate to leave because he very much was NOT trying to get me to play and I did not feel confident in their ability to control him, and he immediately did it again. And again they tried to call him away. And I got maybe another two steps before he turned right back around and did it again. And they called him away again saying he was just trying to play. Rinse and repeat for a total of like six times of him body blocking me, tense and whale eyeing, and then jumping at me and barking. All while they're just laughing like "Sorry, Klaus just really loves playing". Dudes your dog is actually behaving aggressively toward me right now, please get control over him so I can leave he is NOT TRYING TO PLAY WITH ME.

This is the second time I've been invited into the yard while Klaus was out and the first time they kept telling me the same thing but he was actually following me around growling at me then and they were still like "oh it's just cuz he doesn't know you yet, he'll warm up to you, he's friendly". YOUR DOG IS SKETCHY. I DONT WANT TO INTERACT WITH HIM. HE DOESN'T LIKE ME. PLEASE JUST PUT HIM INSIDE WHEN I'M IN THE YARD WITH Y'ALL. And PLEASE learn some dog body language because nothing about his right now says "friendly" at all!!!!! Not even a little!!!! TAIL WAGGING DOES NOT MEAN FRIENDLY, ESPECIALLY A HIGH FLAGGED TAIL.

#i will not be going back into the yard while he is out #i only did this time because they made it seem like they were going to put him inside #but then didn't #i do not trust that dog #and they are oblivious and just laughing while he is actively menacing me #cant tell them shit about it though because they act like we're criticizing their parenting if we do and get offended #and then be like 'well your dogs are out of control so what do you know' because my dogs bark at strangers #like... okay your dog growls at and menaces strangers???? mine just bark at strangers who talk to them and try to rile them up #and i dont correct them for that because its not worth correcting and also not their fault #your dog is actually dangerous and you dont have control over him #my dogs are not dangerous and when i tell them to be quiet and get inside they do #so who doesnt have control huh???? #theyre just mad because theyre the strangers my dogs bark at sometimes and since i dont like how they interact with my dogs i allow it #because they are rude as fuck and do not respect my dogs' boundaries at all #and think that dogs shouldnt be allowed to have boundaries because they should be 'kid safe“ which really means shut down from punishment #thats how they are with klaus which is a big part of why i dont trust him too #because they have created a dog who gets punished for setting boundaries so that the kids can 'safely' climb all over him and annoy him #and to me that is a recipe for a dog that doesnt give a lot of warning before becoming aggressive because hes been punished for it #i do not trust dogs who have been punished for having boundaries #and i dont trust their owners either #also them doing that means their kids think they can do whatever they want to dogs and interact very rudely with them #so i dont let their kids interact with my dogs at all now because even with me constantly correcting them they ignore me and are rude #and that definitely is something theyre also salty about because their kids want to play with my dogs #and they also want my dogs to play with Klaus and there is mo way in hell I'd allow that which they also dont like #hes an intact bully who they have admitted can be 'really fiesty' with other dogs #and Hermes is an intact male who seems to have a 'kick me“ sign on him for other dogs and i just wont risk it #and it drives them crazy that i dont trust their strange dog not to be aggressive to my dogs and wont let them all be 'friends' #DOGS DONT NEED TO BE FRIENDS WITH STRANGE DOGS THEY DONT KNOW OR LIVE WITH #I hate ignorant pet owners that make their ignorance my problem #rant

[scringee]

This is the only way to express how I'm feeling

#i try not to talk about my home life on here but im honestly so fucking frustrated that if i dont get this out i might just kill someone #my family car broke down in January of this year #my father refuses to get a new one because he thinks hes saving so mucj more money and he doesnt feel like he has any incentive #acting as if he was giving us free trips #i would literally pay him 100 dollars a fucking week to help take me in and out of work #and he just doesnt like acknowledge that at all #so now im having to take ubers to and from work every day. each trip is like 20+ dollars so that 40+ dollars a day five days a week #im averaging spending 200 dollars a week jusy to get into work #and i work a minimum wage shitty fucking job so all of my paycheck goes straight into ubers and fucking therapy every week #ive had to skip so many sessions becaause theyre all 50 dollars after insurance #and im just so frustrated #i want to move out so bad but how can i save enough if im constantly hemorrhaging cash #the only reason hes saving money is because he fucking works from home #i just dont know what to do at this point i feel so helpless #becayse even if hou casually bring it up my dad immediately assumes youre ATTACKING him and how DARE you and im tited im so fucking tired #how am i meant to move out in these conditions #how am i meant to do anything #i have no fucking social life because i literally just cant afford it im going to cry #i hate him. i hate my dad so fucking much #vent #ig. #scringee mouth

[tombware]

seeing like a mini debate about ast*rion vs daer*n ar*ndae in regards of quality and i might be specifically seeing only one sides opinion because. i do not think Mr. D is more compelling. ultimately i think theyre quite different as well so idfk

#censoring because i dont want it to pop up in peoples searchs #i might be biased because of 1. d*erans terrible voice acting 2. i have a harder time feeling text-based scenes #i guess the argument is more in regards to their romances and yeah okay d*erans progresses more naturally/feels realer ill give him that #but also i feel like there are more limitations to making a game with proper cinematics. if its only text you have more leeway to make #a relationship progress better and feel more believable idfk #d*erans facetious pseudotsundere antics are very cute but. i will never get over astarions act 2 scene and the graveyard scene #and if you dont talk about their romances im sorry i think astarions storyline wins. #i will say i like the way daer*n words things a lot its quite yummy #basically i saw daer*ns romance and thought “ohhh cute” and forgot a week afterwards. but also hes too much of a young pretty boy for me #i do keep thinking about camellia though. i dont think shes well written but her ass' crazy #it was really cool that her romance's ending is that she fucking abandons you 32rwrgew love herrrrr #you know what im adding more tags because upon further reflection i think part of my opinion is informed by the fact that im not a romantic #so that d*erans romance is more romantic doesnt really affect my opinion because i romance characters to see more of them #not for the romance experience. so idk if thats why i disagree with so many people #do you know all those headcanons that want to make tav way more relevant in astarions life than theyre supposed to be? #i think my disapproval of that is kind of related to this as well. whys tav the bus driver all of a sudden. idc about them

[artemisbarnowl]

Having a totally normal one* after waking from a dream where I just relive life with my ex. It was so normal and fine and we did things such as lay around in bed and make plans for the day, go to the Korean supermarket on the corner, go to a friend's house together.

#*if it were in the evening i would be drinking enough to finally drink dial and just fucking ASK all the questions i am making up answers to #what did you want? what do you want now?? honestly could you find it in your heart to hate me and never wanna see me again? #because me saying 'i don't think we should talk for a while' and you saying 'id really like to be friends' are obviously Not It #omg im going to spend my birthday alone for the first time....nearly ever and im just going to go to work and be miserable #i havent been able to stop chewing on the idea of me visiting when i head down to see the fam for christmases #i want him to want me back sooooo bad!!!! #i still think about that dream where i made him pasta #would i take him back? depends on what he said #as much as im pathetic im not an idiot and id need clear evidence to show that he 1. knows what he wants (involving me) and #2. is going to ask for it #because i don't think i ever heard him say a single thing about what he wanted for our future #never said 'hey i want to see you when are you free for me to come up?' #is probably fucking dating now anyway and doesnt WANT me to remember him on new years (our best guess anniversary) #or ask to call because i want to ask questions that will be hard to answer #when all ive ever wanted is the TRUTH #not the strategic answer just the gods honest truth #and i suspect that is 'i dont want to date you i havent for a while i didnt know how to stop or what i wanted instead' #and then i could go home break every object in ny house and move on #try a dating app ot something else to attempt to look forward instead of back #so as you can see -totally normal one

[strwbrymlkshake]

Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(

#mine #oh boy here we go. guy last post was about has been pretty cool and i got flustered around him a few times #but i feel bad bc. i need m o r e he isnt insane enough he isnt making me go absolutely crazy i want to be satisfied but im NOT im sorry #like its quite honestly the most attention acceptance etc ive gotten but its not ENOUGH he doesnt die whenever i send a selfie #im never satisfied WHY i have unrealistic expectations !!!! i hate my brain killing and violence and death etc #i get crushes on guys who want nothing to do with me but then when one actually wants me its not enough? what is wrong with me #thrill of the chase? i cant accept being loved? what is it brain. christ almighty. im not doing anything like deliberately yandere related #anymore im just being generally incomprehensibly mentally ill 🙄 still trying to find a therapist but idk how on earth ill explain that #ill update this post tomorrow with more insanity but for now i am the sleepy tired #// ok its now 3 days later i dont feel like making another post. i think i was just having a mental illness moment as always #because he does make me insane. hashtag girl. im trying to be the smartest and calculated i have ever been with a relationship in my life #like im thinkin about it so hard bro. the future n shit. how would this relationship go. im so scared ill do something wrong its preventing #me from doing things RIGHT. im sad becaude i flipped out today over even imagining him being upset with me a little #so i was really embarrassed and it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the night but he reassured me he doesnt hate me or want me to die #every one aaalways says theyre different. i can only hope this one is telling the truth. i dont know what ill do if he isnt. #well i need to stop whining about fictional scenarios and focus on the good stuff in reality. i get along with him very well and he #is very niceys to me :3 he doesnt think im fucking insane or stupid for overreacting. i feel very comfortable gossiping and talking w him #every long time blog viewer of mine reading this like ah shit here we go again #but thats what im here for. i guess. just have to keep doing this shit until something good finally happens to me romantically hngh #i feel so strange because i have wanted and yearned for a relationship but now that i actually could have one im like WAIT #I DIDNT THINK ID GET THIS FAR 💀💀💀 bruh. and he doesnt even think im stupid hes respectful to me he checks in on me all the time #like perhaps the only person to ever actually almost match my energy in a romantic sense. there was [redacted] i guess but he didnt love me #he listens to me talk about my problems he doesnt think i complain or overreact too much. all the ridiculous cringe shit i do #he doesnt mind it. its nice to be able to be myself. and im really proud of myself for not rushing into a relationship right away

[truckstoptigers]

i remember i'd hear about how my state is one of the most dangerous places in terms of sex trafficking and i would think, what an awful thing. how terrible is it that my state has such an issue with trafficking that it's enough for it to be a well-known, well-documented serious danger/risk area.

and i still didn't think it would ever happen to me.

#familial trafficking is a very real thing and i am not okay :) #i still have a hard time coming to terms w it. i mean. thats what happened. i was trafficked. but it wasnt a stranger. #it was my fucking dad!! what the fuck!!!!! #he wouldnt stick around whenever hed bring me somewhere so it could happen. he literally left me w men he didnt even really know. #i remember one of them asked me once 'think your dad would let me keep you?' and all i could do was cry because well. #what exactly was stopping him from taking me? it sure as hell wasnt the law because me being seven fucking years old didnt matter. #im sure some of them thought about it. i just got lucky. i only got to go back home because of dumb luck. not everyone gets that chance. #sometimes i still feel like shit for using the word 'trafficking' to describe what happened to me because i know thats what it was #but it still doesnt feel like its *my* word to use. like im blowing it all out of proportion even though thats. literally what it was. #i dont know how to talk to anyone about it. just typing this made me have to put my phone down for a minute so i could try to calm down. #and then i also had to set it down for like an hour for the same reason. i just. im gonna go play minecraft for a few hours. #csa vent #trauma vent #actuallyabused #actuallytraumatized #tw trafficking #forgetting about this shit for years and having the memories come flooding back all of a sudden has been. SO difficult. #im so tired of thinking about it but i cant stop.