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chubsonthemoon · 1 year

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Last Binderary book is DONE!!!! This is the incredible Maybe sprout wings, by @moorishflower.

This post is going to be a doozy, so gonna just skip straight to the cut!

INTERIOR

INTRODUCTION

I really wanted to model this bind after my own copy of the Odyssey, (which is all highlighted and bookmarked and annotated to hell from my Great Text courses in undergrad ehe, so this bind was such a fun trip down memory lane!). But beyond just the cover/general aesthetic, I also wanted to give the book a similar feel to these kinds of editions of classics--there's usually an introduction, translation notes, and other supplementary materials, right? Like, a physical manifestation of the work of many, many people, all having conversations with one another across time and space.

So that's what I did! I wrote a short introduction (I will also probably post it to my AO3/my blog as well, in the name of preservation etc. etc.) and began reaching out to folks in the fandom who I knew had created art and meta for the fic. The result? 18k words of analysis, comments, and meta, and nearly twenty pages of art!

And this is what I love most about this bind, I think! This book is the work of several people--truly a collaborative work by the fandom--all of whom I will now be shamelessly calling out below :D

CHAPTER HEADER ART

First and foremost, this book would not be what it is without the gorgeous header art by @fancy-rock-dove! Thank you so much Dove for letting include your work, and for being so supportive and kind these past few weeks about this bind <3 You in particular have contributed so much to this book (which I will be getting more into in the next section ehe), and I'm so psyched I get to hold your art and words, too!

NOTES ON THE TEXT

This section was divided into four parts: Asks and Answers, Meta, Selected Comments, and Chapter Heading Art: Process

For Asks and Answers, I trawled Heather's blog for meta she had written in response to questions and other meta about the fic. Asks came from @fancy-rock-dove, @quillingwords, @kulapti, and myself! (I THINK I got all of them--tumblr's search function is finnicky even on its best days, so so sorry if I missed something T_T) I first got hooked into reading this fic because of one of these asks, so I'm very fond of this section in particular :D

For Meta, I included two wonderful essays written by @pastrypuppy (also known as @kulapti) about Hob as an author figure and the Disrupted Fisher King narrative in MSW. Her analyses were so fascinating and I just had to include them in the book! (And thank you as well for your permission, friend!) (also hello fellow Renegade comrade 🫡)

For Selected Comments, I owe everything to (once again :3) @fancy-rock-dove, whose insights are the epitome of transformative fandom at work. I'd look for their comments after I read every chapter to see what their takes were on this or that element of the story, and every single time I would go "!!!!! I didn't even realize!!!" or "OOOOOOOH I hadn't thought of that!!" It was like being in a lecture hall and always whipping your head around when one of your classmates raised their hand, because you knew they were going to say something fascinating that you hadn't considered before.

Aside from one of my own comments, Dove's comments make up the entirety of this section (for which I owe you my life--your long-form responses to fics are a gift to this world) but GOSH was it also so much fun going through the comments section while typesetting and seeing all the keyboard smashing, yelling, and crying from the other commenters. Communal nature of storytelling and ongoing meaning-making of fanfiction, babey!

And finally for Chapter Heading Art: Process: once again Dove coming in clutch with some wonderful insights into the design of each of the chapter heading art pieces! This kind of stuff is honestly my favorite: meta about art for a fic which is, in turn, a transformation of an existing story (not even to mention that The Sandman is its own kind of fanfiction of existing mythologies and histories)--I just!! Think it's all really, really neat :'D (for more coherent/polished thoughts on this pls see my introduction asjdfkls)

ART

The art gallery!!! A million thanks to @fishfingersandscarves, @honeyseller, @jazzpsych, @doctor-rainbowfoxey, and (HI AGAIN DOVE) @fancy-rock-dove for granting me permission to include all of your beautiful pieces!

As usual for artworks in my binds, I printed each piece out on specialty photo paper to really make the colors pop, then sewed each page separately to the text block! Behold, everyone's beautiful beautiful pieces!

The art gallery also satisfies the certain "oooh shiny" part of my brain that always activates when I see pictures in a book, so am also very fond of this section :3

CONSTRUCTION

And now on to the nitty gritty stuff! I used the German Bradel binding technique again, my second time using it. Even though it's more complicated than the case bind, I really love how it gives you the full board space for the cover designs (~it's free real estate~). Keep it a secret but I kiiiiiiind of made a small goof in the last few steps (I did the turn-ins a step too early and so had to paste an extra sheet of cardstock to secure the spine to the boards, whoopsie), but it's a pretty small difference, aesthetically speaking, so it wasn't the end of the world XD

Edges are once again fake gilded, but this time I tried something new with the colors! I did two layers of acrylic paint--one watered down shade of red for the base, then one metallic gold on top of that. I really like the red/gold effect! I'll have to keep experimenting with this kind of layering:

ALSO. Y'ALL! I think I'm finally getting the hang of endbands!!! Many thanks to the folks at Renegade who hosted all the endband workshops last month--I'm still working through them, but even the few sessions I've seen have been TREMENDOUSLY helpful. I learned that tension is Very Important, as well as thread thickness, so I tried doubling my thread and keeping a Very Close Eye on how I was holding the threads while doing the beads. And behold! I still have a ways to go (and one day I would LOVE to do the fancier designs), but I'm v happy with the progress I've made so far!

And finally the covers!! ARCHIVAL MOD PODGE MY BELOVED. I printed on the same matte presentation paper that I used for the art, then did several coats of archival matte mod podge + a pass of gloss mod podge over the title strip to make it ~shiny~. Then once those had dried and I'd adhered them to the boards, I sprayed two layers of matte clear acrylic sealer (also mod podge!) to finish it off. I had some issues with the paper tearing when I handled it before it was fully dry, but luckily the blemishes were small enough that it was easy to do spot corrections with my black acrylic paint. And now I know to be more patient next time LOL

(some non-photoshoot shots that show the shine a little better!)

FINAL THOUGHTS

I had a lot of thoughts while I was binding this book--about Sandman fandom, about Dreamling fandom, about the Odyssey, about storytelling, about fanbinding, about Binderary, about Renegade, about my friends--but really what came to mind the most was gratitude!

Simply put, I'm so grateful to everyone I've met both in this fandom and throughout the years I've been active online--this is SO fun, y'all. It's so much fun to love stories together--to talk about them, to write them, and of course to bind them! I hope I've adequately conveyed that gratitude.

But of course, this book would not exist without the wonderful words of @moorishflower. Heather, thank you so, SO much for sharing your stories, thoughts, and time with us--it is always a happier, better day when I get an email notif from you and when I see you on my dash. I love your work so much, and I'm so happy I finally get to put it on my shelf! So thank you so much again, for everything <3

and OKAY THAT'S IT FROM ME FOLKS!!!!! Binderary 2023 is officially a wrap! I had SUCH a blast--will probably write up a reflection post on it uhhhh after I take a very long nap ajslkdfjslk _(:3」∠)_

all my love! <3

#the sandman #dreamling #Moorishflower #Maybe sprout wings #binderary2023 #bookbinding #fanbinding #ficbinding #not my fic

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nocturnal-world · 7 months

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The push - Remus Lupin x female reader

The idea is...imagine Remus witnessing that your patronus has changed its form.

I'm missing older Remus stories, and I need to scroll way down to find them. Tumblr refreshes every so often and brings me to the first post. So I had enough and wrote a few things. Once again, maybe someone will like it...enjoy if you do <3. I plan on making a part two, and we'll see how that goes.

There are no warnings, except a larger age gap (reader is 21, Remus is 38) .

Imagine Remus seeing that your patronus has changed its shape. You were surprised as well. Whatever has been going on between you two was never given a name other than friendship. A denial of feelings is what I would call it.

For Remus it was also a feeling of not being enough for you. Of being too old for you. What could he possibly give you, he thought. Living from one paycheck to another? Never knowing where you will live next month? Having to suffer all sorts of slurs and insults once people found out he was the creature you chose as your partner? You had a life in front of you. He would not let you waste it.

And yourself? Apparently you were both presuming how the other would react without even asking for the other's opinion. There was a different pattern of thought in your mind, Of course you would not allow him to settle for you. Remus could do better than that. What could you possibly offer him? See, you believed that all your conversations were on surface level (they were not). You thought that once he would try to get to know you on a deeper level...he would find nothing there (Sirius teased him over how enamoured he looked every time you spoke). You did not see much worth in yourself at all. Oh, yes you hid that well. But, if you saw no worth in yourself, how could you possibly believe anyone else would find any. Remus would have spent hours proving you wrong if he knew. Just as you would spend hours proving him wrong.

There was another problem. To be with him would require of you to open up. And that thought alone frightened you. Yes, you two might have spent hours talking about everything. Or nothing sometimes. So, it is strange that it suddenly became something to fear. But perhaps for many it is not strange at all. Anyhow. If you suffered with such thoughts, why would you put Remus through all of that as well? He deserved someone better for himself.

Strange how similar you both were in that regard.

Well, apparently denial of feelings is how it would be between the two. Without a push, nothing would happen except longing gazes, and too long embraces when one came back safe from a mission. Or throwing oneself in front of the other to defend them against a dozen of dementors. It was the strongest patronus you ever casted. A bear that tore down every dementor which tried to get to Remus. Some got to you. Not many. But at least, Remus was safe.

As for that push - Well it just so happened, there was no need for long waiting. It's strange how fate works yes? I wish Umbridge had nothing to do to contribute to this, but sadly she did in a way. After coming to Hogwarts, she did a marvelous job at teaching the students absolutely nothing. With Voldemort returning, the students were vulnerable if there was no one to teach them how to properly defend themselves. Harry, Ron and Hermione had a brilliant idea. Dumbledore's army. Not everyone believed the Ministry's lies. Soon there was quite a few students joining the initiative.

All in all they planned it quite well. But it was always good to get a second opinion. So, when Harry came to the Grimmauld place, it only felt right to ask the three residents of the house for assistance. Sirius was there constantly. He didn't need any convincing. Spending time with Harry, breaking some school rules, aiding in fighting Voldemort...and getting to call Umbridge a cunt as much as he liked. ...He would have done so regardless. But still.

Remus was there at the insistence of Sirius. The last few months have been difficult after his previous colleagues found out what he was. He defended himself when a hex came his way before he left that shop. See, even with witnessing that, he still thought of himself as a monster. After Sirius found out, he would have it no other way than Remus staying with him. And if the previous coworker somehow got too ill from eating one of Fred and George's experiments well...the twins left their things around constantly. It was an honest accident.

The girl? Well, she had a home of her own. Small place. Hidden. Cozy and simple. Sirius insisted here as well. She didn't know why exactly. And she couldn't be at Grimmauld all the time. But she did stop by as often as she could. After finding out about the hexing, it was more than other members of the Order. Good thing that Sirius handled it (it was an accident I swear), or she would have used something far more darker.

With Harry's arrival it was the four of them in the house. Planning which spells would be the most useful ones to teach. Considering they had cleaned the attic, it was as good a place as any to let Harry practice those spells with their supervision. That way he could get a better feeling on what should he pay attention to.

Spell by spell. Expelliarmus. Reducto. Stupefy. Expecto patronum. The push.

„I think that is a break for me. Anyone wants some tea?“ Sirius asked after an hour of dueling. James would be so proud of Harry. Remus was leaning back on one of the tables observing it all. Your dog was begging for food so you kept to the sidelines as well.

„I'm going back in three days. There is no time for breaks. I cannot let them down.“ Harry on the other hand was not backing down. He would not let anyone be unprepared. He would not let anyone lose a friend in front of their eyes. He needed to practice more.

„Harry, you will not be able to teach them anything if you fall unconscious from exhaustion.“

„Then I need to practice more, to endure as much as I can. The death eaters won't stop because I am tired. Voldemort will kill someone else while I am catching my breath!“

The others could only look at each other. One way or another, he would continue. With or without them. So it was decided, that while Sirius went to get tea, they'd practice something other than dueling. It was your time to step to the centre of the room. You agreed that you would cast the patronus. You would make random mistakes, which Harry would have to notice and correct properly. Remus would give him advice in case he missed something.

Considering she did well when casting a full bodied patronus, she didn't think there would be anything unexpected. First try, she moved her hand in a slightly different direction, which Harry noticed quickly. Second time, she didn't cast a powerful enough memory. Harry gave her some ideas. He would do well, they knew it. Third time, she decided to allow for some wisps to flow from the wand. Still not strong enough. Even here, Harry would give words of encouragement. She thought she saw Remus softly smiling in the corner of her eyes. She thought of that. The last time she saw him like that. It was after the Full Moon. Despite Wolfsbane, she found him pale in bed, wrapped up in blankets. With tea on his bedside table, she put a vinyl on. He mentioned he was fond of Cohen. He was a favourite of his mum's. A muggle store had that vinyl. She didn't have to think twice.

He mentioned that vinyl around six months ago.

If he had more strength in him, he'd get up and carry her with him to his bed in that moment. Nothing sexual. Just to hug her closer. To kiss her on the forehead. To nudge his nose to hers, until she gazed at him with that look. A look which left him thinking that it did not matter at all to her that he was a werewolf. Or 17 years older than her. Poor. Broken. At that moment he would know there was more to him. He'd nudge her nose once again until she blushed. Then he would press his lips to hers. And she would brush the hair away from his forehead. No, they would not let each other go. If only he had more strength. And courage.

She thought of him at that moment. At how she still managed to make him laugh to tears, even after that Full Moon. At how they both hummed to the songs. At what could be. The wisps got stronger this time. She saw the outlines of paws, only they were smaller this time. Strange. The whole bear seemed to be a bit smaller than it usually was. Remus's smile faltered, as he noticed what creature was forming in the room. The realisation was slowly dawning on her as well. It was not the bear she has come to expect, it was a wolf. She could lie to herself only so many times, but here was the proof. Right in front of him. A wolf making a circle around Harry. Coming to greet her dog. Harry was busy looking at the beautiful creature to notice two figures standing frozen in the room.

And sure, he hoped that it was him this wolf represented. She would not stop lying to herself, but she still hoped he understood now. What did each of them see though? He saw her carefree look fading. He saw her standing rigid in the centre. Was she ashamed? Angry? What if the wolf was not connected to him at all? He didn't want to meddle in her love life. If only to hide the jealousy of which he had no right to feel. What if there was someone with whom she felt as comfortable as she had with him the night that vinyl played. He had no right to wish it was him alone who would get to see her like that.

She saw him straightening up. She saw his smile fade. The clenched jaw. He was angry. A girl, barely out of Hogwarts fell in love with him. Just what he needed.

Sirius came up with tea. She was quick to apologize, saying all the practice made her a bit dizzy. Remus still stood next to the table. After a moment he excused himself as well. One could sense something went wrong.

„I suppose no one is in the mood for tea anymore. What happened here?“

„I'm not sure. The patronus appeared and right after they both left.“

A push needed to happen. However, that push can move events in any direction. Sirius had no idea what had transpired in that room. But he would do his best to find out.

#harry potter #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin x you #remus lupin fanfiction #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #professor lupin x reader #older remus lupin #harry potter fanfiction

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bg-brainrot · 2 months

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Hugs for a Vampire (Astarion x GN!Reader) - Chapter 18: At Withers' Party

Bonus Hug - Chapter 18: At Withers' Party

Each chapter can be read as a standalone hug.

Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader (Rogue!Tav)

Genre: Fluffy, Filling in Canon

Rating: Teen

Tags: Gender-Neutral Pronouns, POV Second Person, post-game, epilogue, cw: alcohol, jealousy

WC: 2.1k words, 18/18 chapters

Summary: An epilogue hug! Astarion sees Rogue!Tav giving out hugs and wants one of his own.

Author's Note: This was not part of the original fic, added on after the epilogue was released, however I chose to put my own spin on the epilogue hug.

Finally, Whether you read this fic AO3, on Tumblr, or a combo of both, thanks so much for joining the hugfest! I love this vampire man, and may he have many, many more hugs <3

Ao3 | [Hug17] | Hugs for a Vampire Masterlist

It’s been six months since your victory at Baldur’s Gate.

Six months of traveling through the Underdark with Astarion, establishing a base for the vampire spawn, and figuring out your next steps together. It was perilous and difficult work, but you wouldn’t change a single thing.

You have missed your former companions dearly though, so when you received the invitation from Withers for a celebration, the smile that broke across your face could blind a celestial. I wouldn’t miss this for anything – not even a fresh new apocalypse, you wrote back.

So that’s how you and Astarion have found yourselves above ground once again, the familiar wilderness of the Sword Coast a welcome sight, the distinguished company an even more welcome one.

Everyone seems to be doing quite well, despite how you all left each other. Lae’zel is only able to visit through a projection, and the reprieve is rather temporary for a few of your companions– namely Wyll and Karlach– However, it’s a rare opportunity and you’re incredibly grateful to have it.

The elation must be obvious on your face, as Astarion takes one look at you and laughs. His sing-song little giggle never fails to bring a smile to your face, and right now your face is liable to crack open. “Go on, dear,” he says, sensing the eager tension in your body. “Mingle! If you need me, I shall be near the wine.”

“You can mingle too, you know,” you say, though you’ve already begun to walk away.

“Invite me again after a few bottles,” he responds. You know he loves them all in his own way, but he also finds them to be a bit too much at times. Ever the stray cat, he’ll find his way to them when he’s ready, at least you hope. So you nod to him in agreement and wander off to chat with your dearest friends.

You’re so excited to see them all again that you’re practically jogging to meet them.

Shadowheart is the first. When you get a good look at her, you see a peace in her face that you haven’t seen in any of the months you’ve known her. Something about it brings you relief. You knew they would each find their happiness without you, but seeing it firsthand is something else. Perhaps it’s because she’s looking so much more herself than ever, but before long you find yourself asking, “Could I have a hug?” The hug is caring and welcoming and everything you knew Shadowheart has always been.

Next you make your way to Karlach. She’s alive and well, which is ten times better than the last time you saw her, and you just might cry from the sight. She tells you about Avernus and about the possibility to fix her heart and you just might cry from that as well. Again, you can’t resist, especially knowing she’s been fighting for her life for six months. “Could I have a hug?” The hug is warm and strong, just like the woman in your arms.

After that, you make your way to Wyll. He’s doing rather well in Avernus with Karlach, and, when he mentions that he’s planning to ensure Karlach finds a solution to her heart, a few tears well in your eyes. Wyll is among the best of mortal and immortal men, and you’re glad he went with Karlach when you couldn’t. The grateful feeling is more than you can put into words, so you ask, “Could I have a hug?” The hug is strong and bracing and an absolute testament to Wyll’s enduring friendship.

You find your way to Lae’zel. After learning of her diligent efforts to save her people from Vlaakith, you can’t help but be awestruck by how much she’s changed. You’re inspired by her ability to learn to fight with words and stunned by how much she truly misses you. Even though she’s not there, you can’t help yourself, “Could I have a hug?” She simply clicks her tongue at you and calls you an idiot, somehow melting your heart all the same.

Eventually, you find Gale, tucked away with the tressym Tara. He’s a teacher and no longer at risk of exploding – you can’t help laughing at that, remembering the various times he almost blew you all up without the help of an all-powerful orb. Something about the way he speaks of his new role and invites you to visit, either to teach or just to spend time, makes you realize that this is what a happy wizard looks like. You love it and ask, “Could I have a hug?” The hug is all-encompassing and lengthy, much like one of Gale’s lessons in magic.

Finally, you find Halsin, dancing the night away. When you learn more about his endeavors, you find that he’s reestablishing the settlement at Reithwin, reconnecting the land to its people. He mentions that Thaniel and Oliver are no longer lonely and that the children of the settlement bring him a fulfillment he never thought possible. After regaling him of an exaggerated tale of your and Astarion’s adventures, you assure him that the two of you will visit soon to tell more. “Could I have a hug?” The hug is surprisingly gentle and comforting, and you walk away feeling quite content.

You determine that you’ll need to ask the rest, even Withers, for hugs if they’ll all be this enjoyable. But before you do that, you decide to take a moment to yourself, to process everything.

That’s how you find your way to a quiet corner, head spinning with warm, fuzzy feelings and maybe a smidge too much wine. Just being here, surrounded by some of the best people you’ve ever had the privilege to encounter, fills you with a companionship you weren’t aware you’d been missing. Astarion fills you with so much love and happiness, but this– this is different.

As if summoned with your thoughts, the vampire walks toward you, wine glass in hand. "Are you done mingling?" Sensing your mind is elsewhere, he leans closer, inspecting your glassy, faraway gaze. His hand lands on the small of your back, jolting your attention back to the present and you turn to look at him. His eyes sparkle at you with radiant joy and a hint of something else. Could that be annoyance?

You decide to focus on the joy. "Yes, I think I've managed to get good conversations out of everyone. Did you know Gale wants me to go teach at Waterdeep?" Your voice sounds incredulous, after all, you warned him: once a rogue, always a rogue. Unless he wants his students to learn how to stab more efficiently, he would do best to seek someone else.

Astarion clearly agrees, making an exaggerated, aghast expression. "You? A teacher?" He shudders in fake-fear. "My love, I pity the poor students who would be subjected to your methods."

“Hey,” you say, shooting him a glare. “I thought you were supposed to be the supportive one!”

He laughs and shakes his head. “I can only support so much, my dear.” Then he takes a long look at you, noticing how unfocused your eyes are, the flush to your face. “And from the looks of it, I may need to support your entire body before the night is over.”

You only grin at him and say, “What did I do to deserve such a caring man?”

“Yes, yes,” he says, rubbing gentle circles along your back. “Likely whatever you did to deserve the affections of every adventurer this side of the Chionthar.” His tone is joking, but the dark look on his face says otherwise.

Pushing aside your own amusement, you pull his hand from your back and lean into him. “Okay, what's the matter, love?”

“Oh nothing. I just thought my jealous days were behind me.” He sounds sullen, and you note a sad tilt to his eyebrows.

Jealous days? You groan, recalling his concern over the fiery barbarian. “Love, really truly, if I were leaving you for Karlach, I would have gone to Avernus months ago.”

He waves his wine glass at you dismissively. “I know that, and I don’t mean Karlach, contrary to all evidence thus far.” Suddenly avoiding your gaze, he takes a sip of wine and changes the subject. “No matter, let’s go ask Withers where he found this vintage.”

“No, no, no,” you say, tugging him back to you before he can walk off. After another six months together, getting used to each other’s idiosyncrasies outside of mortal peril (mostly out of mortal peril), you knew the escape was only a ruse. He wants to talk, but he seems too embarrassed to begin. “You’re allowed to be jealous, Astarion. But I can’t help you if you don’t tell me why.”

Astarion stops in his tracks, looking back at you with a pair of vulnerable red eyes. “Do you promise not to laugh?”

You take a beat to debate this, but ultimately honesty wins over and you shake your head. “I wish I could, but I do promise to try my best?”

A sigh escapes him, and you’re graced with a soft, reluctant smile. “Typical. You were truthful though, so I shall be too. I was rather jealous of…” He wipes a hand over his face dramatically. “I was jealous that you’ve gone and hugged everyone else. Gods, I sound like a child.”

It’s a good thing you only promised to try your best because an involuntary huff leaves your lips, which you'd firmly pressed together in preparation. "That is…" you gasp out.

"Idiotic? Pathetic?" Astarion supplies.

"Rather adorable actually," you say, finally allowing a snort out. “How do you always manage to be both adorable and sexy?”

You swear you can see the tips of his ears color pink, but that may just be the firelight or your own tipsy vision. He only says, “I’m quite talented.”

“Would a hug help you feel better?”

Astarion looks at you, eyes darting between yours. You can see a bit of hesitation in them, and you’re wondering why when he says, “Only if it’s not a pity hug.”

“Never,” you say, solemnly. “You know I only give hugs I mean.”

He clicks his tongue, annoyed again. He places his wine glass down on the ground with a flourish, as if preparing himself. “Yes, exactly. Which is why I’ve gone and become jealous. This is all your fault and I expect you to remedy it.”

You nod, accepting this burden with ease. “In that case… Could I hug you?” Astarion waves his hand at you as if to say, get on with it already, and you dive right in.

The hug is loving, it’s understanding and supportive. It warms you, it cools you, and it makes you want to tackle this man to the ground in an aggressive affection– a feeling you only barely temper after a few glasses of wine. After experiencing so many hugs tonight, you find that the hug is so very perfectly him.

No, not just him. It’s the type of hug that the both of you make together. And it’s the hug you want to experience again and again for the rest of your life.

When you finally pull away from him, Astarion is smiling once more, jealousy evidently placated. “Well now, I have you every night, don’t I? Go on then, continue to bless them with your presence. I’ll be here when you’re ready. I’ll always be here, my love.”

You shake your head at him. “A lovely sentiment, of course, but you’re done hiding. Come on.”

“What?” he asks, brows furrowing as he tilts away from you.

“I said, you’re done hiding. No more shadows, they all keep asking about you and I’d rather you answer them yourself,” you say, all but dragging him back to the party now. “They miss you too, you know.”

“Darling, please. What if they ask me for a hug?” Astarion looks truly appalled at the thought.

You laugh, imagining him reacting like a cat forced into a bathtub. “You can say no, of course. But I promise not to get too jealous if you do.”

“What will it take for you to forget I ever said that?” he says, laughing and allowing himself to be dragged.

You quickly swipe his wine glass back up off the ground as you pull him along, and take a long drink before returning it to him. You only say, “At least two more bottles, though I suppose that depends on how wild Withers likes his parties.”

Hand-in-hand, you both walk off to enjoy the rest of the celebration. The night is young, the wine is flowing, and there are still many more hugs to be shared.

#astarion #astarion x tav #fanfic #astarion fic #astarion x reader #rogue + rogue #astarion fanfiction #astarion fanfic #astarion fluff #astarion masterlist #hugs for a vampire #hfav #gn reader #astarion x gn reader #astarion x gn!tav #astarion baldurs gate #bg3 astarion

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swiftllama · 8 months

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Anthony Complimenting Ian ☀️🔍

“I think that’s a big difference in us reuniting, is I am so willing to praise you and mention your strengths.”

Hey guys! Been working on this post for a while and so happy to finally share!

Before we knew of their reunion, there was this window of time where Anthony kept complimenting Ian on social media. That stood out to me then, especially after having very little interaction between them in so long. But now having the context that they were actually hanging out again behind the scenes, and that Anthony now makes a conscious effort to compliment/praise Ian makes it all the more sweeter. The said compliments I mentioned were posted at the time but the fandom wasn’t as active as it now is again so I wanted to compile a list of all the moments of Anthony complimenting Ian from their reunion to present for anyone who might’ve missed it. Enjoy!

Pre-Reunion

Okay so this first post is actually from before they reconnected. We know from the Smosh Reunion t-shirt that they reconnected in November 2022 and this post is from July 2022.

I like to think Anthony was in a better place with his emotions towards Smosh/Ian by this point, and that Ian had been on his mind and so a nice little compliment was to be had.

Post-Reunion

April 2023

5 months post-reunion and Anthony’s feeling more confident to joke around whilst still complimenting Ian. You love to see it! And Ian’s reply, him getting all embarrassed is cute 🤭

It also reminded me of these tweets from back in September 2017 :-

Confirmed: Anthony has a thing for calling Ian ‘daddy’. Noted. 👀

May 2023

Less than a month later and Anthony was back at it again with the compliments

Ian looks good and Anthony is determined to tell him at every opportunity!

And then…

June 2023

THE (PUBLIC) REUNION

And so ensued an abundance of compliments.

Anthony’s Interview

First lot of praise we saw from Anthony to Ian was in his interview with him. Tumblr sadly doesn’t allow you to add more than one video to a post so these are all quotes from said interview.

Like the tweet above of Ian getting his first chain necklace, they reference it once again. Ian is talking about how even though they’ve grown as people they haven’t changed that much, he references the fact Anthony has “more bling and tattoos” now, Anthony then interjects with :-

“Hey, you got a little bling too, let’s not discount it.”

Ian then shows the jewellery off and Anthony comes in saying “Baby’s first chain.” I like to think he was the first one to say that when Ian got the chain and where Ian got the inspo for his Twitter caption. Anthony then finishes this topic of conversation off by adding on that Ian also got “face bling too” in reference to his glasses. I know this isn’t really a full-out compliment and they’re just kinda messing about, but I think it still stands with Anthony saying that’s something that’s changed between them now is that he’s willing to compliment him, and I love how when Ian tries to downplay something about himself, Anthony jumps straight in there to lift him up too.

Another complimentary moment from the interview was when Anthony was talking about when he was 15 and came down with an autoimmune disease resulting in him missing half a year of school and Ian got a bunch of people to sign a ‘Get Well Soon’ card to give to Anthony to make him feel better.

“There is one moment, one thing that you did for me, when we were younger that really stood out to me that I never mentioned to you and I never thanked you for. I’ve been holding it in and I have never expressed it…. I don’t know how you got it to me, but somehow you got a ‘get well soon’ card that you gave to me - Okay, I don’t know if it was you who came up with the idea or your mom, or if like your mom told you, you had to do it. And a whole a bunch of people signed it and you wrote a message like ‘get well soon, we can’t wait to see you again’. And that, it really meant a lot to me, and yeah, it kinda kept me motivated and focused, and I don’t know why but for some reason it motived me to learn how to program a website, program a game, and I feel like because of that in some ways I was able to channel all my energy into creating the things that eventually culminated in what the foundation of Smosh was.”

I really love this moment, and I think it really shows Anthony’s growth. As was revealed in his letter to Ian, there was a period of time in which he felt he had more of a hand in creating Smosh in the early days, but the fact he can now acknowledge and recognise Ian’s input in it all, even before Smosh was a thing, and thank him for it really shows how far Anthony has come.

The last lot of praise from the interview is actually something Anthony has mentioned multiple times as you will see later on in this post and that is about their dynamic and how they work together.

“I think the fact we work in such different ways, like I’m able to really hyper-focus on something and put all my energy, just like back-to-back constantly in one chunk, I think that works really well when compared against the way that you work, where you are super creative and..”

Ian interjects by saying his head is “up in the clouds” when he works. Anthony continues by saying that Ian needs to be there to come up with the ideas that he does and then praises him once more :-

“I could never come up with most of the ideas that you come up with, but I feel I know how to formulate it and put it together.”

Next lot of praise for the month was this tweet :-

Anthony praising Ian, along with everyone else who had a hand in keeping Smosh going all these years. Similar to something he said at Vidcon when he interviewed Ian once again :-

“I just want to say huge, huge respect to you for staying with Smosh. For having that faith in it that it could continue to grow and be something bigger…” [audience cheers and Anthony points to Ian] “So huge, huge respect to Ian. That took a lot of tenacity - the tenacity you said I had, that’s where you really showed up. And Ian had to learn how to be a leader, Ian had to learn how to do all these things where he was just thrown into that because I made the decision to leave because Smosh, what it had become, was eating a hole in me and I felt I needed to walk away to figure myself out, to just grow on my own and I’m so thankful that you stuck around to keep it going so that we could do this [own Smosh again].”

And there was more where that came from and leads me onto the next lot of compliments :-

Vidcon 2023

“When Ian came over to my place to write… I remember I was sitting on the coffee table writing these jokes and you would say something and it would totally catch me off guard just like you used to do.”

Anthony said this so fondly to Ian, the “just like you used to do.” It goes back to what he said during his interview with Ian, which he got emotional about, that during the lunch where they reconnected properly for the first time, he saw his childhood friend in that moment. That despite how much they had both changed, the Ian he knew, the only one who can make him laugh like he does, was and is still there.

Anthony goes on to bring up their working dynamic again as he did in his interview :-

“While we were writing that sketch, while we were shooting it, there was this feeling - I didn’t realise it, but there was something missing from my creative process. Especially in creating comedy, that Ian just perfectly… I don’t know if I want to say yin and yang - I don’t know what I want to say about it. But it was just this perfect balance, that feels like in order for us to reach our fullest potential creatively, us working together is, in my heart, the only way for that to really reach its fullest capacity.”

Ian then responds in his usual way, trying to downplay his efforts by agreeing that their dynamic works well that way because he’s, in his own words, “kind of lazy.”

Anthony is quick to jump in though :-

“I think that’s a misconception, you’re not lazy.”

I love how he just outright refuses to let Ian talk down about himself nowadays. He will absolutely not have it!

Ian continues on and compliments Anthony in return by saying he is very ‘tenacious’ and ‘focused’, and ‘particular about things.’ Whereas Ian’s way of working, as Anthony goes on to say, is “throwing stuff out” and Anthony likes to pick out the best of the best from those ideas. And this is when we got the first of the ☀️🔍 analogies :-

“It feels almost like Ian is the sun radiating all these ideas in every direction, and then I’m the magnifying glass that’s like ‘let’s focus on this one, let’s make this one fire. This one’s amazing.’ And something about just the way that we work together just meshes so perfectly, and I think that’s how we became best friends in sixth grade, that’s how we established our sense of humour and why the Smosh videos that we created resonated with so many people, is because there is that perfect dichotomy between us.”

Do you think Anthony thinks their dynamic is perfect? I don’t know 🤔 I don’t think he mentioned it enough.

Jokes aside, it is very sweet. And I love how much he loves their connection.

The next lot of compliments come straight after the quote of Anthony praising Ian for sticking with Smosh whilst he was gone :-

“I’m super thankful - you know for the past six years it just felt like there was a hole in there [in his heart]. You know I’ve been creating my own interview series and it’s felt like this is a great way for me to be able to express a part of me, but not all of me. And that other part of me that wasn’t being expressed is that part of me that I now get to experience with you, and working with you, my childhood best friend, in creating something and being able to capture that magic and express it, and be able to present it for all of you [the audience], it’s a really, really great feeling.”

Ian then responds with another little compliment of his own :-

“I think on my side, you know when you left I was still making sketch comedy, I was still writing, but I never found the same kind of writing partner that I did after you. It was never the same. The way that we work together, I never quite found that kind of person to easily bounce ideas off to, so I kind of stepped back a little bit from the writing.”

It also reminds me of something Ian said during Anthony’s interview, about how they have this level of ‘trust’ between them, that Ian never found again with anyone else after Anthony left. Makes me so soft, they feel so lucky to have each other again. No one quite gets them like the other does and they can never replace what they have. Their connection truly is special.

This is more of a silly one and just them joking around but I’m including it anyways! They had a Q&A session with the audience after the interview and the person asking the question starts off by introducing themselves and saying how they met Ian the other day and apologises for calling him “old.”

They both laugh and Ian pretends to begin to walk off stage. And then, you guessed it, Anthony swoops in with a retort :-

“Hey! He’s 35 years young.”

Moving on to later the same day, after playing a live version of TNTL with the cast, they all had a sit-down Q&A :-

Q: “What inspires you? What made you who you are?”

And of course, as if he hadn’t already killed us enough, Anthony has to go and say this :-

“I’m about to say something totally whack. I’d say, Ian and my friendship when we first started really connecting. I feel like Ian taught me to not take myself too seriously and his sense of humour is just all over the place and I eat that shit up, I think it’s so funny.”

Like wtf. WHAT THE FUCK.

Ian’s reaction to him saying that pretty much sums up my emotions.

And that was it for Vidcon!

Except if you count this little cherry on top and the perfect closing to June as the picture is from Vidcon :-

Anthony being obsessed with Ian on main! You love to see it!

July 2023

Started off July with a bang and the ☀️🔍 article :-

Never getting over this! Anthony just loves the sun and magnifying glass analogy and I couldn’t be more here for it. Ian is the sun in his life 💛🖤

Ian Reads Anthony’s Angry Letter

And then came the infamous letter video. Which even though there were a few hurtful things revealed, there still managed to be a few nods of acknowledgment towards Ian even in that hurt Anthony felt.

As mentioned earlier in this post, in part of the letter Anthony writes that in the early days of Smosh he wanted it to be something ‘he’ made with Ian’s help, and that he considered Ian to only be “tagging along”. He goes on to apologise [in the letter] for if he ever made Ian feel like he didn’t deserve as much credit as he did.

“You may not have done some of the heavy lifting I did in the early days, but definitely encouraged us to keep going and you kept things light and full of laughs as we did it. We accomplished so much and I am just now realising how important you were in making that happen.”

Anthony then brings up something that happened recently between them :-

“But that thing that you read there - you did, and this was actually really nice for me to hear from you. It was a few days after we had confirmation that we had bought Smosh, you came over to my place, we had a little celebratory hang; very luxurious. We chilled with cigars and some whiskey, and we just bro-ed it up, and you said that to me. That exact thing - you said, “hey, I don’t think I ever really acknowledged the heavy lifting that you did in the early days” and you said that you “felt really lucky to be there at that time and that I included you in that.” And that was really nice to hear, even though I know.”

So I know technically this compliment/praise/acknowledgment isn’t new as the letter was written in 2017, but it’s ‘new’ to us. But I’m glad to hear that Anthony does acknowledge Ian’s involvement in Smosh’s success, even in the early days when Anthony was doing more of the technical things. He acknowledges that Ian still had a role to play in it all being what it was.

Ian agrees with what Anthony is saying, and that he always felt ‘guilt’ over the fact Anthony had to do the things he didn’t have the skillset to do, but recognises that he didn’t acknowledge or thank Anthony enough for it because he was ‘afraid’ that he might have to do more when their whole thing was about doing “equal work” because they felt as a duo they had to, and that if the other felt they were doing more work then there was some resentment there. Ian tries to downplay himself by joking “In most cases you were doing more work than me…” but Anthony is quick to jump in again and not allow it.

“I was doing more hours, but I think you were doing more of the creative heavy-lifting which is more taxing in many ways. So I think that you needed your time to recoup your energy, cause you’re coming up with funny stuff, and at that time I was like ‘I’m doing so much work’.”

Also another mention of Ian’s creativity and humour when it comes to writing, that Anthony acknowledges he wouldn’t be able come up with. But you can see where the ‘resentment’ they talked of came from, and why Anthony felt he was doing more. When in reality it’s just that’s their strengths lie in different areas, but that doesn’t make the work they both do individually any less important. So I am happy they can see that now and praise each other for the unique ways in which they shine which compliments their own strengths in their own special ways.

WE WERE ROBBED! Watch Party

It happened again. Anthony calling Ian ‘daddy’. Can we just all agree that he has a thing for it? Okay. Good.

They’re discussing how everyone in chat is poking fun at Ian for saying “you guys are a fun bunch” to the rest of the group during the ‘Do Men Know Reproductive Anatomy?’ Smosh Pit video and how it was a ‘dad’ comment. Ian reads out a comment talking about how Arasha called him ‘dad’ and he says “[she] can because she’s my son”. And then Mr ‘Ian is Daddy’ Padilla jumps in with the correction once again :-

Anthony: “I think you’re becoming ‘daddy’.”

Ian: [asks if it’s when he puts his glasses on]

Anthony: “Especially.”

Ian: [puts glasses on]

Anthony: “Oh damn, daddy.”

Like why is this Anthony’s thing now? Whatever the reason - I’m here for it.

Also, Ian doesn’t like to be referred to as ‘pops’ but Anthony’s into it. So, Daddy and Pops. It’s settled. Love our parents 👨‍👨‍👧‍👦

Smosh Mouth

And just like we started July, we ended it the same - with a bang!

I urge you if you haven’t seen it yet (or even if you have), to go watch this video. It may as well have been named ‘Praise Ian Hour’. Not only have we got Anthony, but also Shayne and Amanda coming in to add to the many compliments.

I know all these compliments the others were giving Ian were probably making Anthony’s heart swell with pride. To know that not only himself, but everyone else also recognises Ian’s strengths. To know that these things he loves about Ian, others see in him too.

So a lot of the video was the others complimenting Ian rather than from Anthony himself, but he agreed with everything they were saying and added a few little tidbits. So this next lot of compliments will be what Shayne and Amanda said, along with Anthony’s comments :-

Amanda: [talking about when she first auditioned for Smosh] “And I’ll never forget after I did that [read the script], it was really fun - they asked me a question, and I was in a really interesting place in my life… And they were like “If you could have one superpower, what would it be?” and I just said “Vulnerability.”… And I’ll never forget, Ian stood up and went “Do you write comedy also?” and I said “Yeah!”, and he went [nods] and he shook my hand.”

Anthony: [grinning ear to ear] “He knew. He knew.”

Happy boy loving hearing people praise his bff 🥰

“I think honestly that statement alone is exactly why you’re doing a podcast. I think Ian was able, if he really did know in that moment, I think it probably was seeing that there was more to you than just the comedy, there’s more depth there, there’s multiple layers, and you can build on that a lot more than just somebody who can only do one type of thing.”

A very sweet comment. How Ian recognised the talent in Amanda from that one thing she said, and also cute how well Anthony knows Ian so can see exactly where he was coming from in seeing that talent in her and why she ended up at Smosh.

Shayne: “…I’m curious how you [Anthony] think things were going in the years you were gone? It’s been fun to see this arc of Ian. And being honest I’ve gotten to know Ian so well over the course of 6 years and that’s what’s so interesting about you coming back. You know Ian better than any of us-”

Anthony: “But I don’t know the Ian from the past 6 years as well as well as you guys do.”

Shayne: “…But you haven’t seen president Ian.” [talks about how when Anthony was still there both him and Ian were so busy under Defy that they weren’t around much to act as leaders]

Anthony: “Yeah, there was no leadership really coming from Ian and I, except that I think we showed excitement and passion… We showed that, and I think that’s where we kinda led, but it wasn’t really ‘we’re the leaders’ and when I left, and especially when Defy collapsed and Ian was left there making a lot of those decisions, he had to be the leader that had to lead by example and get everyone onboard with his ideas, and that was a really unique role for him because he was kinda forced into that position, and he was forced to get really good at it. And I think, over the 6 year time period that I was gone, I’ve seen him, observing from the outside, I’ve seen him get better and better at that role. Even though I know he doesn’t ‘love’ it, he’s not like ‘I can’t wait to go and be a leader when I go to work’, and he’s told me that he feels like he thrives most when we have the dynamic between us where I can pick up when he’s not really-”

“observing from the outside” 🥺 the fact he was still checking up on Ian even when they weren’t close anymore, it shows that the care was still there despite the strain on the relationship. It also reminds me of what Ian said during Anthony’s interview, that he could tell Anthony was floundering when he first left :-

Ian: “I could see very clearly what you were doing and what was going on. It was very clear that you were trying to find your individual creative voice. And with the types of videos you were putting out it felt very much like you’d throw this out and see if that would stick, you’d throw that out and see if that would stick. You’d get excited about something - I could tell there was a time when I think you were watching Nathan For You, and you were getting excited about this one kind of style.”

Anthony: “Damn, you read me like a book.”

It’s just like Shayne said - they know each other better than anyone. And that extends to even when they weren’t speaking, they still knew the other inside and out.

Amanda: “He’s glowing right now.”

Shayne: “He’s been so happy.”

Anthony: “It’s really, really cool to see because you know watching from the outside, I was able to observe his mannerisms and kind of get a general idea of where his headspace was at, but even then I wasn’t able to fully understand him because I didn’t fully understand him for so many years leading up to it, so I was just an outside observer trying to just keep tabs. But I do notice a stark difference, ever since Ian and I had that discussion, and were like ‘you know what, let’s buy Smosh and anything we can do to make that happen, let’s do it’. And after that conversation I’ve been keeping up-to-date with the content a lot more and I’ve seen Ian shine in such an interesting way, where I don’t even know if you guys felt it - like before the announcement, you felt something good was coming?”

Is everyone sufficiently in tears? Good, because me too. This isn’t even the end of this convo, I just had the pause to go over all of what was just said. Both Amanda and Shayne saying how happy Ian is now, I don’t know how Anthony didn’t cry on the spot! I did and it’s not even about me! Like hearing that, knowing it’s because of him that Ian is so happy 😭 and I think the same can be said for Anthony. They’re both so happy to have each other again ❤️

Shayne: “I did start to notice a change these past few months. I started to notice - this dude, there’s something about him, like the ‘cool’ factor started to change. He started wearing a chain! He started tucking shirts in.”

Amanda: “Oh yeah! He tucked in every shirt. He wore a chain. He was glowing. And our conversations were about life and joy and not really what he was reading on the internet.”

Shayne: “His confidence level has changed this year. When you guys announced the whole thing [buying Smosh], you walked into the building and I was like ‘Okay this makes sense!’ He’s feeling a lot more confident because things are feeling more certain and this place is going to turn into more of what he wants.”

Anthony: [agrees, and talks about how he thinks the confidence comes from a place of Ian now knowing the future of Smosh is secure under them after not knowing for a long time] “And I think for some reason, just naturally his confidence started growing as - I don’t know if this is related, but he is so good at writing and coming up with jokes, and I think for a long time he got the impression in his head that he wasn’t good at that anymore. And I think the Smosh channel moving away from written stuff, which I feel like he just really shines at - these absurd ideas, and when they come to life on screen maybe I’m able to help keep them a little bit more focused. But I really love that, cause he has so many great ideas and I started noticing just how many good ideas - he would throw out like 30 ideas and 20 of them were brilliant. But I feel like he started to gain confidence too in our writing sessions where he realised, ‘oh this isn’t a fluke, I wasn’t just funny in the past’ - I don’t know if this was the worry that was going on in his head, but it certainly was in mine. I was like, ‘was I only good at this in the past? can I be good at this now?’ and we both discovered together that what we were good at in the past, was more of a representation of our innate abilities and personality on our own but also the dynamic between us, and it seems like his confidence was growing there, and on camera when I would watch him from the outside, even hosting ‘Let’s Do This’ - when I saw him hosting these things it seemed like he was much more confident and he was able to take initiative.”

I love how much Anthony talks about how good Ian is at writing and coming up with jokes, and how much he reiterates that nowadays. I love that he recognises that talent in him and acknowledges how his own abilities complement Ian’s so well and why their dynamic is so special and works so well.

Shayne: “Ian is so much funnier than he realises. And maybe he’s realising it now-“

Anthony: “Yeah, I hope so.”

Aw Anthony 🥺 well if he doesn’t, you’re there to remind him tenfold.

Shayne: “But over these past years, I think the thing that has always frustrated me is - as you said [Anthony], he’ll throw out ideas but he’ll be like ‘oh this one’s dumb’ and I’m like ‘no that’s really funny, man’…. But whenever he goes 100% and he commits fully it’s always great.”

Anthony: “Always great.”

Shayne: “And I think he really does that in your guy’s sketches, there’s no doubt - the Ian that people know and love is that guy. And I think when he’s able to write and know what it is, he goes full force. But I will say even with the improvised stuff he held himself back - he’s so good, but he just needs to allow himself go full force.”

Anthony: “I think he would second guess.”

Shayne: “He second guesses. And I feel bad talking about him without him here, but it’s all good things. Cause reality is he’s really, really talented.”

Anthony: “The truth is he was doubting himself, but the less he’s doubting himself [he’s able to go full force].”

Shayne: [talks about how Ian has said 2019 was one of the hardest years after Defy collapsed and he had to step up as a leader and figure things out on his own] “So suddenly one day Smosh is gone and all these people are just gone, they don’t care. And I remember talking to Ian and being like “hey, so what are we gonna do?” and I remember this look of just - it’s still Ian where everything’s very casual and just kinda shrugged off almost, but I remember him just being like “We’re gonna figure it out. I’m gonna get this together”, and I was just like “That’s the most confident you’ve ever sounded about anything.”

Amanda: “It’s cause he was a single dad, he had to figure it out.”

Shayne: “But Ian’s always like ‘yeah, I dunno’ but this was the first time he was like ‘we’re gonna - I’m gonna - we’re gonna have it.’

Anthony: “And I feel like we see that [confidence] a lot more from him now.”

Shayne: “Yeah, and that was the first time that I was like ‘Dude, this Ian’s crazy. This guy’s not fucking around.’ and he had to do so much behind the scenes that I didn’t see, but he was making business deals and he was working all day, every day to get that shit together. And you know people say Rhett and Link saved Smosh, it’s like Ian saved Smosh. Rhett and Link were there to make that deal happen, but Ian was the one who put that shit together.”

Anthony: “For sure.”

Loved this from Shayne! Because it’s so true, yes R&L were there when Smosh needed a home, but Ian was the one who put in the hard work to make that happen. None of it could have happened without him. And I’m glad Anthony agrees, and as his comments at Vidcon suggest, he’s very thankful that Ian was there to save Smosh so he could come back and they could rightfully own what is their’s, doing what they love, together again.

Shayne: [talking about how Ian and Anthony going their separate ways needed to happen] “You started this thing forever ago when you were kids and it’s completely overshadowed your own lives and your friendship. To be able to take a step away and figure out who you guys are on your own and then come back - you guys at a certain point were forced to be best friends on camera and that’s tough and it becomes a product more than an actual friendship, so to be able to walk away and leave that alone and then choose to be best friends again.”

Not so much a compliment, just loved this. It’s the choice to be best friends again that gets me. Something they’re actively choosing and put above everything else, they’re never going to let anything get in the way of their friendship again and that is so special.

The famous quote comes to mind :-

“If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours.”

Shayne: “I said it to Ian when he was on the podcast - I really respect both of you for your both individual journeys in all this. Like your choice to leave the thing you made forever ago as a kid, that meant everything to you, that’s an insane choice. And you made it for your own good, and you recognised your own happiness and that was gigantic. And Ian, I think really was scared to be a leader here, he was scared to be on his own, like president, and he really did it and he’s stuck with it through crazy [times] - not only the shutdown where he stepped up, but the pandemic as well, where we were all filming stuff on our own by ourselves, and he stuck with it, man. That dude, he’s had some endurance with all of this and so to see you guys back together, I know for him there’s pressure taken off because he has you, and I can see there’s so many aspects of the job that he questions himself - I think he’s great at it, but he questions himself and I think you can fill in that part for him where he’s like ‘oh sweet, I know I can rely on you’.”

Anthony looks like he’s about ready to cry when Shayne said that and I don’t blame him because I could too.

Knowing just how important he is to Ian. That he is the only person Ian can rely on when it comes the leadership side of the business, an area where he’s been alone in for so long, doubting himself, I’m sure it makes Anthony want to hype him up and reassure him even more that he’s doing a good job.

Shayne: “And I said this to you, I think the day you first came back, but I’m like - you both together is one of the greatest YouTubers ever.”

Anthony: “I appreciate that.”

Shayne: “You individually - super successful. Like you went and you were successful on your own. Ian maintained Smosh on his own. That’s really cool to see that there was success from both of you individually, but together - I mean when we’re at Vidcon and we’re talking to other YouTubers, Smosh has, there’s something to it right? Like other YouTubers go ‘Oh! Smosh!’ that’s a big deal.”

It’s so emotional how this thing that Ian and Anthony created together as teenagers is what it is now 🥲 and it’s so true - together, they’re something special.

Anthony: [discussing how he discovered his interview format for his videos after trying lots of different kinds of content after leaving Smosh] “I thought that my lane was making sketch comedy so I was writing out some stuff. But I realised that on my own, without Ian, I am not a very strong writer. I do not have the funniest jokes.”

Again, Anthony recognising Ian’s talent when it comes to writing and the Yin and Yang of their dynamic, and how they need each other to really be at their best.

[Amanda says how Anthony seems like an extrovert in his interviews. He says it’s an illusion and that he’s really introverted - Shayne agrees that he is]

Shayne: “I mean I’m just now hanging out with you again recently, but I always got the sense, and I get the sense still, that Ian is the outgoing one.”

Anthony: “Yeah.”

Shayne: “Ian’s super outgoing, and people maybe don’t clock that… At parties, Ian will walk up to any group of people and he’ll just join the conversation.”

Anthony: “For sure.”

Amanda: “You’re right, he does.”

Shayne: “It is shocking to me. And he’s so chill about it.”

I know this was mainly just Anthony agreeing, but I found it interesting and it made me wonder if that is another reason their dynamic works so well and if it’s maybe also a comfort for Anthony? As a fellow introvert, I know how much easier it makes things when you have an extroverted person with you in social situations that you feel uncomfortable with. So I wonder if it’s the same for Anthony with Ian, that he has him there to lean on, knowing he’ll take the forefront in those types of situations if he needs it.

And that was it for the podcast and for the month of July.

And so draws to a close the first instalment of this compliments series. I plan to continue this month to month, or every few depending on how much content there is - you’ll be able to find all parts in the Compliments Masterlist.

Thank you for reading and catching up with the world of the Anthony Padilla Ian Hecox Fanclub with me. Hope you enjoyed and I shall see you next time!

#this took me so long so rb are appreciated 😅#wanted to get this out end of July but didn’t finish in time #started adding august onto it forgetting you can only add 10 photos on a post 😑#but anyways! so happy to finally get this out to you guys!#smosh #ian hecox #anthony padilla #ianthony #☀️🔍#ianthony compliments #ian and anthony #smoshian #smoshanthony #smosh ian #smosh anthony #my posts

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dropthedemiurge · 2 months

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Love for Love's Sake | Things You Didn't Notice #9

(okay it's not an episode number this time i just still have many details to point out oops pls let me go)

I swear. I thought I'd stop mentioning small details because I already wrote like 10 posts on Tumblr translating and explaining all the cultural stuff regarding this show and the obsession is already becoming embarrassing, but I rewatched the last episodes again and I've got tiny. Little. Details. That I can't help but point people to once again. Because damn, the amount of thought put into this show!

(trigger warning: first part talks about suicide and depression, next ones are linguistic and cultural)

The Black Suit & The Sea

I would've asked Koreans I know about the significance of such symbolism but they are celebrating Seollal (New Year) today and I don't wanna ruin the festive mood asking about "how would people dress for suicide" x)

But after watching this scene, I recognized some strong parallels in Korean media depicting depression, suicide and one's decision to end their life. One of it is bridges and jumping (if you don't know what Bridge of Life is, ask me and I'll share, so this post wouldn't become too long) but another one is sea.

My interpretation - Koreans wear black suits to funerals, so if someone is headed to the sea in a black suit, it might mean this is the character's attempt to "have" their own funeral before finally ending their life. Why do I think this combination is somehow significant?

Because I remembered a music video one of K-pop artists I like (Kim Hanbin) made, after he experienced the downfall of career, extreme hate and rejection from the public, and severe depression. His whole album Waterfall tells Hanbin's personal story, dark thoughts and his battle to survive during the time when he was gone for 2 years, but in the music video for this album (illa illa) he is seen emerging from the sea in a black suit – metaphorically regaining his music and, most importantly, desire to live. Watch with lyrics!

youtube

If we think, this is how you depict suicidal thoughts/attempt in Korean media (of course, Love for Love's Sake was even more blunt in telling us the meaning), then Myungha wearing black suit wasn't just for the pretty or dramatic picture. More than that, we see him wearing the black suit for the whole last evening – especially when he goes to finally meet his mother.

Which tells us Myungha has already decided to disappear from this world, and was determined to do it on that day, and his mother rejecting him and pretending she doesn't know her son might not have been just the last straw... but it definitely could've been Myungha's last attempt to find anything in his life worth staying for, worth not going through with his plan.

Anyway, what a scary but beautiful symbolism.

Let's talk about something happier! More heartwarming!

Do you remember when we talked about the carefully placed movie posters in previous episodes? I payed more attention to the background this time when in Episode 8 Yeowoon ran to the cinema searching for Myungha in his world. And what an amazing discovery! When Myungha starts existing again and calls Yeowoon, the movie poster behind Yeowoon says "Guardian" (보호자).

And I already said in another post that Myungha in previous episodes admitted himself being Yeowoon's "guardian, protector" in the exact same word. But now this word is shown next to Yeowoon! As Yeowoon is the one who changed the main mission and has now declared himself Myungha's guardian and protector and will do his best to make him (his favourite pereson/bias/blorbo) happy. They have now both become guardians for each other. This. Goddamn. Show.

And I also want to shout out the VFX & Production team for this show – all the visual effects are very down to earth, gentle and not over the top but enhancing the series to the max. Like, maybe you wondered where on the screen does it say "Monday, August 14" and "Saturday, August 12"? Well, as expected, you see it on four monitor screens above the box office – the date, the ongoing movies (yep, still our favourite two fake movies) and available dates etc.

But when Yeowoon and Myungha agree to meet each other in the exact system time, they are facing each other without a barrier, and the screens are now counting down the time until the Game End. Instead of normally showing movies, like in the previous shot, it says "Time remaining: 3 hours, 23 minutes, 15 seconds". It was either done with VFX or practically, but still, the thought of incorporating system messages into the actual background is insane and I'm always happy to discover such details.

I don't know how many of you have motivational stairs at your schools, we definitely didn't have this but it's quite a popular thing in Korea. They put popular and uplifting sayings for students on each stair, sometimes they even quote motivational phrases from idols, like this:

And it's interesting that when system gets broken and Myungha is about to disappear, we see the deep cracks coming through the stairs, we see ruined school BUT at the same time the quotes in the show are so obviously in our focus. And they are already written (see screenshots above) in Korean and English, but I'll still write down: one is saying "Stay hungry, stay foolish" and "If you dream it, you can do it, you will succeed". So, perhaps... motivational quotes from sunbae?

And the last moment isn't heavy on translation but I still want to talk about it because cool Korean culture!xD You see the gang grilling meat on the roof (it's called samgyeopsal and it's very popular to have for gatherings), and then Myungha makes a "ssam" and feeds it to Yeowoon – but Sangwon steals it.

Ssam is a wrap, you grill meat then put it on the salad leaf, add other ingredients (like mushrooms, sauces, garlic, green onions etc, there are many side dishes) and then you wrap it in this sort of salad sack and eat it. It's very tasty and unusual combination. But the thing is! There is no way to make it for someone else and leave it on their plate so if you make a ssam wrap for someone and want to give it to a person, you literally have to feed them (like Myungha does with a very fond smile). This is why it's often seen as a romantic gesture (aka feeding someone from your fork etc) and why it's hilarious that Sangwon steals this ssam from Yeowoon (because he wants and he gets Myungha's affection and he's not above being a brat about it!)

I'm sure you can already sense it anyway without me telling you about romantic/close-friend implications, but I thought you guys might wonder why are the guys fighting over the salad leaf.

Another funny thing – Sangwon mentions "There's a saying, 'Don't scold dogs while they eat'". This is a Korean proverb "밥 먹을 때는 개도 안 때린다" ("You don't hit even a dog when it eats") which means that, no matter how annoying you find someone, no matter how angry you are, you can't scold this person while they are eating. Eating is a very important cultural thing in Asia, of course, so do not have arguments at the dinner :D But it's funny how Sangwon uses old proverbs to be mischievous and steal Myungha's love without consequences xD I adore him

I swear, this gotta be my last post about all the details in Love for Love's Sake. There is one more scene with the mirror and a caption, and I'm very curious if it means something because it was seen twice, during system breaking down scene as well, but it's either in Chinese or Japanese and I can't read it.

Anyway! Hope you enjoyed your everyday magazine, I love reading all your tags and thoughts and comments, and if you want to read all my previous translations and pointed out cultural details in Love for Love's Sake, go read this tag!=)

#love for love's sake comments #love for love's sake meta #love for love's sake #bl meta #korean drama #korean bl #bl series #love supremacy zone #myungha x yeowoon #tae myungha #dropthemeta #i love hyperfocusing on the show and have amazing community to go insane over it #i love reading all your comments guys #tw suicide #tw depression

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13pxrkhxoe13 · 5 days

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Pleasure Me | Jk

✽ Pairing: Aaron Warner!Jungkook x Fem!Juliette Ferrars!Y/n (Shatter Me series (Book Series) AU)

✽ Synopsis: After 2 months of being in ‘Love’ with Jimin, Y/n had finally realized that she isn’t, and wasn’t, in fact ever in love with him after all. It was always Jungkook. Now, in her current situation after being presumed dead by Jungkook's father, and staying with Jungkook until they both come up with an idea to kill his father, things get a little… freaky…

✽ Warnings/Genre: Sexual content and themes, 18+ (but if younger, you are reading at your own risk), slight cursing, unprotected sex, no prep, Jk Dom, and… that’s mainly all I can think of-

✽ A/n: This oneshot is based on & inspired by the Shatter Me series by Tahereh Mafi—to which I am currently obsessed with the series!~ This is my first fanfiction that I will post on tumblr, so thank you for reading and don’t feel shy to request something for me to write! I love suggestions~ Sorry for any grammar mistakes, btw! Also, please do not copy this piece of work and use it as if you wrote it with your own blood, sweat, and tears—but reblogging is allowed!

I am just now realizing the fate that had been before me all along.

With Jungkook on top of me and his breath fanning over my lips and his hands all over me, I felt like my days in the asylum weren’t even enough to prepare me for this kind of shock. Or even the amount of butterflies that swam in my stomach everytime he called me, “Jagiya.”

Things were different when I was with Jungkook.

I didn’t have to hide my secrets and pretend I was ok, he just knew.

His gift was remarkable—maybe even more than his love for me… but that would never be humanly possible as long as he lived.

“Y/n…” His deep voice whispered above me, my body trembling with need and teenage hormones at the very word of my name being called.

I just couldn’t respond, and he seemed to understand that.

He leaned in ever so slightly just so our noses were rubbing against each other, and I could feel my core ache with need at the small movement of affection.

“Do you want this… Are you sure?” He questioned again, his voice softer this time as I felt his hands stop once they gripped my hips so tight I could feel his short nails even from the fabric of my pants.

I nodded my head once, twice, and settled on the third one.

“As flattered as I am by your shyness, Jagi, but I’ll need words.” Jungkook chuckled under his breath, his middle body moving slightly as he readjusted himself above me.

I felt red take over my face and heat up my neck, “I-I want this, Jungkook. I need this.”

His adam's apple moved under my touch when I let my hands touch his face, moving down from his cheek to his jaw and father and farther, until he caught my hand with his own—right before I could make it to the waistband of his pants too.

He groaned and I slightly smiled when he met my eyes. Oh, his brown eyes. So vibrant and full of life.

“God, I love you.” And just like that he leaned in to close the distance between us, his lips touching mine like it was our first kiss all over again.

His soft pillow lips melted against mine, his hands traveling under the silk of my shirt as they teased my skin with soft touches, to which he was barely even touching me—giving me goosebumps.

It was soft at first before he bit my bottom lip with his teeth, ever so slightly, to which I became breathless instantly and opened my mouth for a breath, only for his tongue to be plunged into my mouth.

The open mouth kisses were rough and intense as his hands became more eager and found their way to my back before unclipping my bra, even though my shirt wasn’t off yet.

I let my hands run over the scars on his back, being gentle even if he still had his shirt on, as well.

He broke the kiss, letting both of us breath before kissing my chin and right under my jaw, settling at my neck.

I let my head fall back against the pillow behind me as his hands now cupped my breasts, under my bra and shirt, making me let out shaky noises of whines.

His middle and pointer finger found joy in fiddling with my nipple, occasionally flicking at the bud as well. He sat up, taking his hands back as he took off his sweater, throwing it over his head and somewhere over the room before trying to take mine off in a rush.

And even though I had seen his bare form before he was still breathtakingly beautiful as ever, and I felt myself falling harder for him by the second, my cunt begging for him as it throbbed for attention.

His hands achieved their goal in taking my shirt and bra off, not wasting a single moment before latching his mouth around one of my nipples, sucking like his life depended on it.

“Oah~” I moaned and I felt him smirk as my hands played through his hair, one of his hands found their way to my other nipple, making sure it wasn’t left out.

He stayed like that for a short while, switching back and forth between my buds and I was on cloud nine in pleasure, and we haven’t even gotten anywhere yet.

Soon though he began kissing down the length of my stomach, stopping at the start of my pants as he looked up at me for permission to which I nodded desperately as I watched his teeth grab ahold' of the cloth before tugging it down, all the way down to my feet before he stood up and took his own pants off.

I could see the outline of his bulge and I was desperate to pleasure him as he was me, but when I leaned up to palm him he shook his head and pecked my lips before saying, “No, Jagiya… I just want to be inside of you… We can experiment with things like that in the future.”

I swear my heart did flip after flip when he said that, making me know that we would find ourselves like this again, and I loved every thought of it.

He pulled my underwear off first, before taking his own off, and I watched as he groaned at the release from the uncomfortable cage his cock was in, to which it was now free.

I could feel myself clench around nothing but oxygen as I watched him stroke himself a few times, looking at my lower half.

“Fuck, Jagi, I knew you were beautiful but damn…” He hissed, crawling back over me, not letting me respond as he kissed me again, “This is your first time, right?” He whispers, between kisses, and I could feel him poke my lower abdomen.

I blushed again, embarrassed by the fact for some reason, but it was true nevertheless. I could never touch anyone before I met him and Jimin. So, I shook my head and he smiled before replying to my movement, “I’ll be gentle, it’s my first time too. I didn’t have any girls like you before you came here…” He grunted as he grabbed his cock in hand and rubbed himself on my folds, “I wanted no one but you… ever since I first saw you.”

I moaned again, louder this time and he smirked down at me as he watched my parted lips, before he took one inhale before slipping the tip of his dick into me, stretching out the beginning of my virgin hole.

And it felt good.

He groaned and his hands found their way to my waist and stayed there, keeping his head bent as he stared at the scene happening between both of our bodies.

“Shit, never knew this was how pussy felt.” He cursed, grinning up at me and I tapped his back, letting him know that I needed more of him inside of me.

“Same… I never knew dick felt this good… I can feel every vein on you.” I whined and spoke before he slowly moved his hips forward so that I took a little more of him in.

“Every vein?” He chuckled, “Some humor.” He pushed in more, making me quietly close my eyes as I got used to the burning sensation.

“I-I’m not joking, Jeon.” I barked back, playfully but also impressed at myself.

I never knew sex felt this good.

“What?” He lifted his head up and I could see the sweat already forming on his head, “I never knew that about girls…”

I furrowed my eyebrows as he smiled inside of me for a while, “Firstly, you knew nothing about women before I got here,” He pouted, “And secondly, this shit feel so good, so I need more.” I teasingly moved my hands to grasp his bum and move more of him in and he blushed but also smirked.

“Anything you want, Jagiya.” He purred and when he was buried inside of me all the way to the brim I moaned, feeling him fill me up so good made me want to cry as he hit every nerve with his long dick—not like I could talk since I have only ever saw his dick-

“T-tell me when to move…” He stuttered, his jaw clenching and his teeth grinding.

“M-m—” I didn’t even get the chance to finish before he pulled out and moved back in, his dick slipping in and out with ease from my juices.

“Ahhh~ Jungkook!” I called out, my lungs burning with the need to let noises out as he started a steady pace, moving in and out.

In, still, out.

He groaned, his hands gripping my ass and lifting my lower half of the bed slightly as he kept his eyes on him moving inside of me and went slowly, making it painful for me to hold back desire.

“Faster!!” I whined and he smirked, licking his lips before lifting my legs up by holding under my knee ever so slightly until he could ram into me.

He sure did go faster, and I mean faster.

I could feel the pit of desire in my stomach begin to build as my pussy heated up even more as he hit every nerve in me.

“Shit—So tight, so much better than my hand.” He lifted his up, throwing it back as he breathed with each thrust, as my hand grabbed onto his thighs either side of me.

He went slow and then faster, making me let out noises of pleasure more frequently, him groaning and trembling in response. I was getting closer and I let my fingernails claw his thighs slightly as I screamed,

“C-Cumming soon, Jeon!”

“Right behind you, Jagiya…” He trailed off and plunged his long dick into me faster and faster until I felt my stomach clench, making my cunt clench before I felt my release.

“JEON~!” I called out, arching my back off the bed as I came, with him still ramming into me making my walls clench from overstimulation.

“Shit—shit, shit!” He cursed his hips stuttering, “So t-tight! Y-Your clenching—Shit!” He moaned and whined as he builded himself up using my cunt, making my mouth wet and my eyes roll back slightly as I felt him pull out quickly.

I looked down and saw him stroking himself over my stomach, and just as I was about to help him he came all over my breasts, his white serum making me look like a canvas.

“Jagiya…” He whispered, stroking his cock a few more times until he started going soft again, to which he placed himself on the bed beside me, our sweat filled bodies colliding non-sexually now.

“I love you, too.” I called for the first time, making him look at me with surprise and joy, his eyes lightening up.

“If I knew sex was all it took for you to say that I would have done this a long, long time ago.” He chuckled, pecking my forehead.

“Hey! I know you love birds just did the naughty, but no more! My lonely ass is tired and it smells like… y’know what, and we have a war to get to tomorrow!!!” - Taehyung (Kenji in this case) yells as he knocks on the door, somehow in Jungkooks living quarters. 🤣🤣🤣

THANK YOU FOR READING!!!~~~~

#bts au fic #bts au #bts au fanfic #jeon jungkook #shatter me series #aaron warner #juliette ferrars #bts smut #jungkook smut #Jimin mentioned #y/n #jjk x reader

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mrsshabana · 1 year

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Canon!Gyutaro x Modern!Reader

♥ CW: Female reader. Pure fluff!

♥ AN: Thank you again for 300 followers! I am posting this in celebration of this milestone. I wrote this months ago, just for fun. And it has been sitting in my drafts ever since. I think the theme is very fitting. And if you all like it, I wouldn't mind making a part two some day!

♥ WC: 1,117

I wonder if Mrs.Shabana posted anything new today?

You think to yourself, pulling out your cellphone as you walk down a dank alleyway. Checking tumblr has become a daily ritual for you ever since your obsession began. Gyutaro from Demon Slayer. Something about him just called out to you, he made his way into your mind and never went away. Slowly spreading until the fictional character consumed every one of your thoughts. You just wish that he was real…

With a sigh, you continue walking. Having just gotten off a long shift, you’re excited to get home and go to sleep. Not before reading a fanfic or two first of course.

As you continue down the alley you stop for a moment, “Yes!” Gyusimp just posted a new oneshot. You’re too excited to wait, so you decide to read and walk at the same time.

So distracted by your phone, that you don’t realize something is stalking you. Something that wastes no time in pinning you to the ground, flipping you over so it can slit your neck with its weapon.

Something you thought was impossible.

“Gyutaro?!” You squeal with a mixture of excitement, shock, and fear.

He’s straddling you with his sickle held up to your neck. Hearing his name come out of your mouth, his eyes widen. Stumbling off of you as you take in his appearance with awe. He looks exactly as he does in the anime, handsome and sexy as all hell.

“You… you’re Gyutaro!” you pinch yourself to make sure that you aren’t dreaming. Even though you are sure that your mental state has finally broken and your obsession is warping your perception of reality, you don’t care because Gyutaro Shabana is sitting right in front of you!

Knowing everything that you do, you should be deathly afraid of him. But your corrupted love for the man blinds you. Crawling forward to get a closer look at him.

When he opens his mouth to ask you a question, you have no idea what he’s trying to say.

He’s speaking in Japanese.

Oh fuck, this isn’t good. You somehow get the opportunity to meet the love of your life and here you are unable to understand each other. At least his name is universal, which is probably the reason why you aren’t dead right now.

“Um hold on…” you quickly pull out your phone to use a translator. Typing in what you want to say and letting it speak to him.

You type, “Please don’t kill me, I know who you are.”

Gyutaro cocks his head to the side and frowns, asking you another question in an irritated tone.

“I can’t speak Japanese,” your phone relays your message to him. He starts to scratch his skin but his expression softens a bit. You don’t know what you should do with him, if this is really happening then how the hell did he get here? Who knows, but you love this man so you’re gonna do everything you can to help him out.

“Follow me. I will take you to my home where it is safe.”

You hope that he’ll follow you. Not knowing what his current situation is, maybe he already has a safe place to stay? You assume that he doesn’t, as he begins following you.

You aren’t too far from your apartment, looking back every minute or so to make sure Gyutaro is still there. He follows from a distance, unsure if he can even trust you. You could be a demon slayer for all he knows.

You open the door to your apartment, and he hesitantly follows you inside. Once he’s in, you quickly run around to hide all of the Gyutaro merch you have. It’d be so awkward if he saw the body pillow…

Once everything has been shoved into your closet you bring out the translator again. You want to ask him so many questions but how will you even be able to understand his responses? You have an idea. On your translator app there’s an option for it to listen and translate the spoken words. So maybe you could go back and forth that way.

“This device will let us communicate with each other. Speak into it” you speak into your phone, it spits out your statement in Japanese.

Gyutaro opens his mouth to respond, and you hold the phone in front of him to speak into.

He speaks in Japanese and after a few seconds your phone gives you a translation, “Who are you and how do you know me?”

“My name is Y/N. I know you from a TV show.”

Gyutaro furrows his brows, “I do not understand what it means…”

The translation isn’t perfect, but it gets the point across. So if he doesn’t know what TV is, then does that mean he’s actually from the past? From the exact same universe as demon slayer? You try to say things in a way that he might be able to understand.

“A lot of people here know you. I like you a lot, so I want to help you.”

Your words seem to be making him even more confused, so you decide to just get to the important questions.

“How did you get here? Do you know where you are?”

Gyutaro shakes his head, opening his mouth to respond but then deciding against it. There’s something that he seems like he doesn’t want to tell you, “Do not know…”

“You aren’t in Japan anymore and it’s the future. You need to be careful here,” you respond to him.

“Can not understand. I have to find my sister.”

“Daki?” you say directly to him. Hearing her name come out of your mouth his eyes widen and he nods.

“I can try to help you find her.”

“How is a weak person like you going to help me?”

For a moment you forgot how mean he was in the anime… “I’m from this world, so I know where things are and how things work. You’ll need a place to stay away from the sun too. You can stay here.”

Gyutaro scowls and looks you up and down before responding, “Fine.”

If he was back in his world he would have killed you already. But he doesn’t know this place, it’s strange to him. So far, he hasn’t encountered any of the other demons either. You seem to be the only person that knows him. He still doesn’t quite understand how or why, but he is desperate right now. Desperate to find his sister and go back home. Even though he despises humans, he will keep you alive in hopes that you really can help him.

#gyutaro #gyutaro shabana #gyutaro x reader #gyutaro x y/n #kny fluff #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #modern au #canon

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jester089 · 6 months

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Error log &$*%

So I wrote another chapter for "going through a digital hell together" but tumblr wouldn't let me post it. So for now I'm going to do a one shot based on an idea I like. TADC x glitch reader. While setting up for a future adventure Caine accidentally created you. A glitch in the digital circus. But before he could realize or fix his mistake you gained sentience.

You plain and simple were a mistake. If the fact your voice and appearance are constantly glitching doesn't prove that I don't know what will.

You were created by Caine... Sort of. It was an accident and by the time he realized what he did you has a mind of your own and couldn't be deleted.

So Like any good ring master would do he gave you a room and shoved you in with the others and hoped nothing would go horribly wrong.

Despite being a glitch and being a mistake the others took your arrival rather well. Even Jax treats you well! He tried to prank you once and learned the hard way to never do that again. He glitched out and was put into a ton of pain till Caine found him.

The others slightly fear you but also appreciate your company as you have some sort of control over everything. One time Ragatha was ranting to you about Jax putting another centipede in a place he knew she would find it. You listened in intently and before either of you realized she had a can of bug repellent in her hand.

Since that day people will go to you if they want something small that makes day to day life easier. Pomni is constantly asking begging you to make a way out of this place. You've tried your best. Really you have. But, nothing yet.

On a more light hearted subject the others think of you as a big ol teddy bear, in the sense of your a big softy towards all of them and are constantly seeking out someone's attention and or affection.

Sadly though you never get any as anyone or thing that is in contact with you for too long starts to glitch out. And if you keep in contact for long enough it ceases to exist all together. You found that out the hard way when you and a close friend were cuddling and they disappeared. Not even Caine could bring them back. (I feel like I'm on a roll today. I've written like 5 things. Hope you enjoyed whatever I did post. And have a lovely whatever time it is for you.) xoxo, Jester

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #tadc caine #tadc gangle #tadc pomni #pomni x reader #gangle x reader #noob author #not beta'd #Going through a digital hell together

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swordsandarms · 2 months

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how would you describe the dynamic between aerys and rhaegar?? no matter what rhaegar was aerys's first and only child for a long time, and tbh i kinda love to delude myself thinking aerys loved him almost as much as he hated? him.....

Wrote about this before, but of course I can't find it, but since it's rarely given enough complexity anyways, might as well do it again.

This is the endless problem of not allowing Targaryens the right to be more than one dimensional and have complicated human feelings and Aerys is probably the sorest spot for it. A lot of people are finally backing down on the weird dehumanisation of Rhaegar, thankfully, but Aerys less so, as he is a big problem even for "Targaryen fans" - he is the sole Targaryen called fully "mad" - that can be acknowledged as that absolute sort of mentally unstable, and in a violent way that can be fully antagonistic, too - bringing that whole can of worms used against a whole 300 years worth of generations of a family, so everyone stays away.

Here comes the tired disclaimer that of course I've got to put out over and over before writing of Aerys as a mere person instead of a fairytale boogieman: he wasn't a good guy with particular virtues; he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed; he wasn't a proactive, great King, and although he spoke of great plans that sounded sound didn't put in the effort to accomplish anything; he wasn't a good father and least of all husband for most of his life, even in his better days with less excuses (well, explanation) to it. Etc etc

But he had the complexity of feelings and behaviour of a whole person! I've said it before but Aerys is one of these background characters dead before the story starts that gets TONS of interiority that adds so much nuance to this otherwise muddled portion of history, but he's not a "nice dead victim" and hence gets little attention while less "lesser" background characters get essays of made up fanon.

Aerys' desire for both successful lineage and grandeur for his House clashing with his deep personal insecurities is more of a downward spiral than his actual mental illness. (Again, something I touched on in a different post that Tumblr won't let me find) Aerys wants and fails to be anything grand, and Rhaegar being seen as great while being nothing like him is a sour spot, because if greatness is his opposition what does that mean? Of course he latches onto Viserys when it's clear he's got his character.

But what about Rhaegar? Did Aerys love him? Did Rhaegar love his father once? He was his prized heir in a positive sense for the longest of their relationship. He kept him close in detriment of his mother's claim on him (took him to Casterly Rock for a year when Joanna died). But does that necessarily say anything about love?

This is the man who would end up hurting his sister, who would be open about the intention to wish bad things upon his child, but he's also grieved these children with his sister once, he's turned to the gods humbled despite his self righteous arrogance, asking if it's him, if he can do anything to make it better.

And, in his madness, Aerys kills Brandon and Rickard for "threatening Rhaegar". Which is fascinating. I've been trying to think of whether he is trying to put Rhaegar in a worse position by it, but it doesn't work. If it were the case, he'd be glad to latch onto the accusations and make the best of it, instead of becoming the bad guy further by "protecting Rhaegar". If he weren't able to think that straight, at least his advisors would (he's got plenty of "whisperers" in his ears, we are told, and they are against Rhaegar's faction). But if they tried, but if they tried it's clear the "he threatened Rhaegar" convoluted thought won.

And I joke about the Rhaenys moment supposedly being the breaking point in Aerys and Rhaegar's relationship from his point of view (of all things) but... With these powerful families, the personal and political are in a constant clash. Yet it is quite something that political tensions are all high ("like before the Dance"), Aerys' undermining and threatening Rhaegar's position is open knowledge, and yet, what gets to Rhaegar finally is his father rejects his child - rejects family.

Was there only honour and "doing things right" in lieu of kinslaying? Was there a reason why it was hard to give up on his father and admit to himself he wasn't salvageable in any lesser ways until it's too late?

And oh, he was ever so aggravated by Rhaegar being so good at things and admired for it, but when he dies in battle... There surely must be some conspiracy, some betrayal for his shining son to be gone. Rhaegar himself wouldn't just be bested without a better explanation! Someone ought to answer for it, damnit!

#asoiaf #rhaegar targaryen #aerys targaryen #house targaryen

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lady-of-imladris · 8 months

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How to recognize AI "Art"

A post I have wanted to make for a long time because I think it's important to know! Please mind that this is not 100% accurate and I am by no means an expert on AI art. My knowledge on the topic comes from a semester of research on the development of AI art and how it has improved over the years. I wrote a pretty intense paper on it (I got an A on this!) and I am now using this knowledge to help identify AI art.

I often ask myself "did an actual person make this art or did they just generate it?" because I WANT TO SUPPORT ARTISTS WITH A REBLOG BUT AI "ART" IS NOT ART!!!!

Image description and tags, other posts by the same user If there is no image description by OP, that's usually a bit sketchy. Also read tags other people have added in their reblogs! And look at other posts from the same user!

Features blending In an image where a person is wearing glasses, do they maybe merge into the skin a bit? (see Image 9)

Circular artefacts TBH I forgot why they happen but one paper I studied discussed ways to remove them because they are an obvious giveaway that an image is artificial (see Image 10)

Image 1: Circular Artifacts [1]

4. Problems with text or other "logical composition stuff" (sorry I'm bad at words) AI is bad at generating text! It looks like words, but it makes no sense. In Image 3, where does the cat's paw come from? (Also note here that DALL-E puts those coloured squares in the bottom right corner).

Take a closer look at the hands of the women in the image on the bottom right. How many are there? Hands are also a good indicator!

Image 2 [2], Image 3 [3]

Image 4 [4], Image 5 [5]

5. mismatched earrings/eyes... ("long range dependencies") Human faces are symmetric, we (usually) have two eyes, two ears... That's a problem for AI. Earrings and eyecolours usually have to match. Either side may look perfectly fine, but when you look at is as a whole, it does not always work.

6. seems "too smooth"? I've noticed a lack of texture. Brushstrokes are missing, everything seems just a little flat. There are definitely generative models that can emulate brush strokes, but watch out for backgrounds. They sometimes give it away!

7. read this article for a lot of additional information!

8. something I found in this article that is not mentioned: the harsh contrast I have taken the below pictures from that article, and you can see some very "harsh" areas around the irises in the pictures with the eyes, or around the kids

Image 6, 7, 8 [6, 7, 8]

In the two images below, I have just marked some areas that seem off and I will briefly discuss why:

Image 9, Image 10 [9, 10]

Left (Image 9): In Halbrand's hair, there seems to be part of a crown or some other adornment, but it's not quite there. You can also see the general "smoothness" in this image. Another suspicious looking area is Galadriel's neck. Between their faces, you can see the mountain range in the background continue, but it stops exactly where the strand of hair is. On the right side of the image, there are some bright spots on the rocks that also look a bit weird.

Right (Image 10): I have marked some spots that I think look a bit like circular artifacts (that have probably already been "treated" by the generative model). On the bottom left side I have circled this jar? vase? Whatever. You can see that the lid and the rest of the object don't align.

Once again: DISCLAIMER - I could be wrong! This is really hard because the generative models get better.

Sources:

[1] D. Stap, M. Bleeker, S. Ibrahimi, and M. ter Hoeve. Conditional image generation and manipulation for user-specified content. arXiv preprint arXiv:2005.04909, 2020.

[2] A. Ramesh, P. Dhariwal, A. Nichol, C. Chu, and M. Chen. Hierarchical text-conditional image generation with clip latents. arXiv preprint arXiv:2204.06125, 2022.

[3, 4] Generated by me using DALL-E for research purposes.

[5, 6, 7, 8] from this article, accessed on August 15 2023

[9, 10] posted by Tumblr user @ fandomfatale, accessed on August 15 2023

#ai art #anti ai art #anti ai #psa

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paperstarwriters · 7 months

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(A little drabble I wrote directly into the tumblr post system lol)

I don't think Muriel has more than one plate in his house.

I can't help but imagine that he did once. That Asra had their own plate he carved with a clumsy little star in the center or something, but when Asra spent more time at MC's shop, they took with them a handful of their favorite things, which included the plate but excluded Muriel.

And so, he's had nothing but a single plate in his hut. A single plate and a single cup. Inanna drinks water from a bucket or runs down to a nearby river to get her fill.

I don't think Muriel ever really gets a second plate—or at least he waits a long time before he does.

When you move in with him, he's ashamed of the absence at first, that he didn't have anything for you to use, but you just grin, and propose you share the plate for now.

When you said for now, you offered to go buy your own plate at the store. When you said for now, Muriel offered to carve your own plate for you. It takes a little discussing, but you concede to Muriel's offer, and he sets out to carve your plate for you. Not before you eat your current meal of course.

It's a small meal. Nothing too astounding, but when it's piled as two servings on one plate, Muriel can't help but feel like it's too much. Like he's hoarding food, taking so much more than he should.

He tries to eat less. Tries to count the entire meal together. one for me, two for you, one for me, three for you. But all it takes is for you to cling to the spoon you had passed between the both of you, and use it to feed him to make him forget the count entirely.

You lean into his space, and coax his mouth open, your eyes on his, dropping to his lips, as you offer the spoon to him. He complies. Easily. Helplessly. He complies, and accepts the food you offer him earning a pleased smile on your own lips.

Still holding onto that very same spoon, you feed yourself a bite.

And perhaps it's because you had been passing it between you earlier, or that he was simply more preoccupied with counting the number of bites he took, but somehow, watching you eat with the same spoon he used seems more intimate than it should be.

You feed him another bite, and then another, and another, and Muriel has to scramble for the spoon before you pull it back down to the plate, before you feed him all that's there.

this time, he has the chance to feed you. He offers the spoon up to your lips and finds himself almost mirroring your mouth as it opens wide to take the spoon, too wide perhaps, and though Muriel can't manage to tear away his eyes from your mouth, he can't help but feel like you're teasing him.

And when you finally accept your bite of food, the pleased hum, is terrifyingly close to a moan. Again, he finds you grinning, radiant and bright, and he has to give up the spoon to you before he ends up conceding to your wishes even more.

Only, when you take the spoon, you don't take a bite for yourself. Once more, you're just back to feeding Muriel.

And it continues like that. Feeding each other as you steal the food from the others' fingertips to get the chance to feed each other. You grow so used to it, that even in other settings, where you each have your own plate, your own spoon and your own fork, you can't help but fall into the habit of feeding each other bites from your own plates.

I imagine that eventually, Muriel would have to finish carving a second plate. To use when one of you is sick so that you don't end up spreading your illness to the other, but even then you still find yourselves feeding each other. It's obvious for the healthy to feed the ill, but sometimes if he's sick, he feeds you a bite or two of your own food careful not to cough or sneeze on your plate, but happy and eager to be able to feed you if only a little. He treats it like a kiss sometimes. Even if he didn't use the spoon himself, it reminds him of the many times, you shared a spoon and a plate.

Even with this second plate however, you're often sharing just one, and still sharing the same spoon, feeding each other bites of the meal as you chat and talk or simply sit and bask in each other's company.

Sometimes you sit on his lap while you eat, facing him with the plate of food on the side, so you can feed him and so he can feed you. It always leaves him flustered, but it also helps him to eat more as he can never really manage to remember how much he's eating when he's this embarrassed about you in his lap.

Idk just a thought.

#Muriel the arcana #the arcana muriel #Muriel the mountain man #Muriel the hermit #muriel of the kokkhuri #muriel arcana #muriel the hermit #x reader #reader insert #Muriel x reader #Muriel #the arcana muriel x reader #the arcana #the arcana headcannons #muriel headcanons

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cin-cant-donate-blood · 3 months

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I think there is something really tragic about those posts that are like "man can you imagine future archaeologists reading our posts" because I don't actually believe even a fraction of all the things we say will survive for very long.

We supposedly live in an information age where everything is recorded, and people say that once something is on the internet, it is there for ever, but this is clearly not true.

Most of the internet is managed by corporations, and when a certain website dies, there is absolutely no incentive to spend all the money necessary to preserve ecerything that was ever posted. Maybe Archive.org will have saved a lot, but it can't save everything.

Even right now internet history going back as recently as the 90s is really spotty. A lot of forums and sites are simply lost to time.

And maybe one day Archive.org will run out of money too, and everything they preserved will be lost, not in a dramatic bang like the fire in the Library of Alexandria, but with a whimper, like the many thousands of times more documents that have been lost simply because no one copied them in the few decades they had before the mold or worms or whatever else got to them.

Think of Sappho and Catullus, two of the most celebrated poets of ancient Greece and Rome respectively. Both were prolific, and both were titans, widely celebrated for their extraordinary work, long after their deaths.

Both had a single century or two where people got tired of them, and almost every single thing they ever wrote was irrecoverably lost, because books do not last forever, especially not the ones written on papyrus, which was the dominant medium at the time and has a quoted life span of about 70 years unless stored in nearly perfect conditions (desert conditions, which is why we associate papyrus with Egypt).

All we have now are a handfull of fragments of their work. They are, once again, and perhaps forever, celebrated as geniuses, but we can't ever undo that single, brief moment where the majority of their work was lost forever, not out of malice, but out of indifference.

Everything not actively, painstakingly, expensively maintained will be lost, inevitably and irretrievably. Stone carvings last longer, but they're horribly space inefficient. The invention of parchment, which can survive centuries, greatly improved things, but that too is extremely expensive compared to paper or papyrus. Modern digital storage is the same; we just made the copying process easier.

One day, tumblr will die. It is as inevitable as your death or mine. Or the death of the sun. In fact, tumblr will probably die within our lifetimes. When it dies, some things will be saved, but many will not. Some will miss it, but most will forget. Out of millions of posts, perhaps a few hundred thousand survive as jpeg screenshots on reddit, instagram, or whatever sites survive tumblr. Then, as those die, perhaps ten thousand screenshots of screenshots carry on to new social media sites, as of yet not made. And then a thousand of those survive as those sites die.

And maybe those will be the thousand best, and maybe some expert will even be able to tell you that they're screenshots of tumblr, and in a few words what tumblr was, but what even is the thousand best? Every copying act is a choice by someone who thought it was worth copying. Tastes change, and as they do, maybe one generarion's favorite is destroyed by the neglect of the next.

Tumblr isn't special. This is the future of all social media. Echos will persist, but so much will be lost.

So maybe, one day, an internet archaeologist will find your silly tumblr post about how crazy it would be if someone was reading what you said centuries from now. Unfortunately, there will be so much context missing. Maybe your post will be one of a mere hundred remaining, most of which make references to in-jokes and memes long forgotten: incomprehensible and empty. Like the statue in Ozymandias: nothing beside remains.

I'll end this with a poem from the lost poets I mentioned, and since this is tumblr, why not a gay one? Both Catullus and Sappho have their share of love poems dedicated to members of the same sex, but the partial poem known as Sappho 31 is probably the most well known. This is Edward Storer's translation:

He seems like a god to me the man who is near you,

Listening to your sweet voice and exquisite laughter

That makes my heart so wildly beat in my breast.

If I but see you for a moment, then all my words

Leave me, my tongue is broken and a sudden fire

Creeps through my blood. No longer can I see.

My ears are full of noise. In all my body I

Shudder and sweat. I am pale as the sun-scorched

Grass. In my fury I seem like a dead woman,

But I would dare...

... and that's it. The ending has never been found. Scholars think anywhere between a few lines and half the poem is missing.

#sorry for the bummer post lol. just had thoughts #mini essay #takes #history #poetry #archaeology #sappho #catullus #ancient greece #ancient rome #ancient history

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oleander-nin · 10 months

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Smoke and Mirrors(Bakugō Katsuki x Reader)

A/N, not important: Oh wow look, something I forgot to ever post(jk this was written b4 I had a tumblr). Uh, sorry about it, I just felt like y'all needed to suffer too. Any criticism is welcome, constructive or not. This is supposed to be a gender neutral reader, so if I screwed up somewhere, please tell me.

-Ollie

Tw: old writing, female hinted(sorry), reader puts on makeup, seriously I wrote this a long time ago, Bakugo being a jerk, rejected confession, badly written sad, not beta read, honestly I haven't read this since I last wrote it like 2ish years ago

Words: 1100

Summary: Yes or No may be the normal answers to a confession, but Bakugō can always find something worse to say.

Just being near Bakugō Katsuki was intoxicating. The way a slight smell of caramel and smoke drifted from him, the way his bright red eyes shined in the light, the way his facial expressions changed as he was thinking things over. Even his brash, can-do attitude enticed you. There were so many factors pulling you into him. Not that any of this mattered to him though.

"Hah! How could I ever love someone as useless as you? You’re worse than Deku, always blabbing on and on about stupid things and being such a crybaby when you get scared." He said, mocking you. The same ruby red eyes that once drew you in were now throwing you out, flashing with anger and disgust at you merely being in his presence. How rude can this guy get? All this hatred for a simple confession? Tears started brimming at your eyes as you tried to control your breathing, not particularly wanting to break down in front of him and have his opinion about you being a crybaby be confirmed.

"I'm sorry if my confession offended you, just thought you'd wanna know." You retorted, turning on your heel as you left the classroom, wiping your eyes as you went. "Sorry for wasting your time Bakugō, it won't happen again".

"It'd better not! Come near me again with any sappy stuff and I'll blast yer brains in!"

Whoever said 'the worst they can say is no' has obviously never met someone like Bakugō. All you could do is hold in your tears as you walked away from class 1A and back into your dorm room. You were so glad you decided to do this at the end of the day and not during lunch like you originally planned. Your pace turned into a borderline run, wanting to go to your dorm room as soon as possible. You open the door to the 1-A dorms as the dam finally breaks, tears running down your face as you walk in.

Fortunately, Tsuyu and Uraraka were the only two people in the dorms at the moment. Unfortunately, they were in the dorms at the moment and witnessed you walk through the dorm like the mess you are. Both of them turn their attention away from the television and onto you, your face red and puffy from holding back the tears now pouring down your face.

***

Tsuyu and Uraraka trying to comfort you was a really sweet gesture, and it was kinda helping. Not really, but it's the thought that counts. You stared at the ceiling as they consoled you about the harsh rejection Bakugo gave you.

"It isn't like his opinion really matters, you'll get over him soon enough! Plus, now you don't have to worry about whether or not he likes you, so that's nice. And you shouldn’t be worrying much about dating anyways, we're just first-years.” Uraraka says cheerfully. You appreciated her trying her best to comfort you, you had no idea what you would do without her here to help. Cry probably, but that's beside the point. You were a bit jealous of Ochako though, not that you’d ever admit it. She never has to worry about Midoryia insulting her when she finally gets the courage to confess to him.

Tsuyu nods her head in agreement with Ochako. “He was a big jerk, ribbit, but now you know just how big of a jerk he was, so it might be easier to lose the crush on him, ribbit.”. You groaned and turned over, shoving your face into your soft pillow.

“Maybe you guys are right. I might be able to get over him now. I wish I didn't have to though. Hearing him say all that really hurt.” You said, although your words were a bit muffled as you haven't removed your face from your pillow just yet. Tsuyu nods in agreement to your last statement, rubbing your back comfortingly. Both Ochako and Tsuyu leave, but not before giving you a few more speeches on how amazing you are, and how Bakugou never deserved you anyway. It felt nice to know they cared about you, even if Bakugou didn’t.

Your eyes felt heavy as you thought about the day, silent tears falling down your face as you came to terms with the fact that your crush called you useless. That he thought no more of you than the dirt under his boot. And as much as you hate to admit it, it hurts. It hurts so, so very bad.

When you finally fell asleep, your eyes were red and puffy, your lips swollen from being chewed and bitten so much to try to keep quiet. And if a few sobs escaped despite your valiant efforts last night? Well, nobody has to know.

***

Waking up was hard in the morning. Well, it always was, but today especially. Your alarm went off at a time that felt way too early to be right, your head feels like it’s being crushed in a vice, and your face was still hot and gross looking from all the crying you did last night. All in all, you felt like garbage. You dawdled your way through getting dressed. It isn’t like brushing your teeth a bit longer and more tired than usual really matters. Who really cares if it takes you a few extra minutes to get your tie right, your hands were feeling numb anyway. And so what if your makeup was really only partially done? Not like anyone would notice. You only were using it to cover up your face because it still had some evidence of tears.

The walk to class also took you longer than usual. Who could blame you though, with your headache and heavier than usual limbs? You barely noticed you were moving, and were surprised when you looked up to see the classroom door. You open it begrudgingly and trudge in, happy to have finally made it, but dreading all the schoolwork you have to do today. Iida’s all too loud voice welcomes you, and you know it’s with good intention, but you can’t help but glare at the unwanted sound that's now echoing throughout your head. You deliberately avoid eye-contact with Bakugo, choosing to look around the already familiar room instead. You plop down in your seat behind Midoriya, finding your notebook and a pencil so you can be ready for whatever Aizawa Sensei throws at you. You look at the back of Bakugo’s head one last time and close your eyes. Your friends were right, love really isn’t all that worth it.

#i wrote a bakugo fic #ew #bakugo katuski #katsukibakugou #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugo #katsuki bakugo mha #bakugo katsuki #bnha bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugo fanfiction #bakugo imagine #katsuki #kacchan #bakugo x reader #katsuki x reader #bakugou katuski x reader #katsuki x you #bakugou katsuki x reader

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hippolotamus · 4 months

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✨2023 writing round-up✨

Writing Round-Up: Share what you wrote this year! It can be works you posted to Ao3, Wattpad, Tumblr, or anywhere else! You can share everything you wrote or just the ones your most excited about.

2023 saw me writing a lot of unexpected and new things! It's been a unique year in the Hippoverse to say the least. Going to highlight some of my favs as well as things that never made it to AO3 💖 Putting it all under the cut to save your dash 😘

January

you spoke to me so sweetly | 2.6k | E (Twylexis)

aka the fic I wrote before shit got real

Alexis hums her appreciation, letting her eyes fall closed while Twyla repeats the circuitous route, and breathing in the blend of lavender and lemon oil her wife insisted upon for “calm and good luck”. The temporary serenity only lasts for three or four passes until a light knock at the door interrupts. She doesn’t try to hide her instant pout when the gentle pressure disappears and she’s forced to open her eyes again. Dr. Rist breezes inside, far too perky in Alexis’s opinion. Perhaps it’s a good sign. Despite her nerves, Alexis plasters her PR smile on, and clasps Twyla’s hand – the only tell she’ll allow to indicate she’s worried while they wait to find out what kind of life changing the appointment will be. “Well,” Dr. Rist says. “Alexis. Twyla. Sorry to keep you waiting. Let’s begin, shall we?”

tumblr prompt fill for but I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on new years day featuring David and Stevie -

Stevie turns her head and he’s very uninterested in the look on her face, what it might mean. He’s only seen it once before - in the low light of her messy apartment - which is why he’s positive she’s about to drop a bomb on him. Something that preemptively makes his insides twist. It’s too much for getting high and laying out on the roof of the high school.

March

all in the Jee-tails | 4.5k | T (Buddie)

Okay. Just a little turn aaaand- yes. Alright, only one more to go. You got this, Buckley. Buck watches with fascination as the sewing machine’s needle dips and resurfaces, piercing the shimmery blue fabric. A wave of satisfaction and pride washes over him when the final stitches meet seamlessly with the beginning ones. For only putting in minimal effort during Family & Consumer Sciences, he’s impressed with his handiwork. He eases his foot off the pedal and snips the thread, freeing his creation so he can try it on. Ever since Jee watched Sleeping Beauty and Shrek for the first time she’s become obsessed with all things fantasy. Much to Maddie, Chim and Eddie’s amusement, Buck couldn’t help himself from buying her a sparkly dress (or three), as well as a tiara fit for pint-sized royalty. Of course, once she had her clothes to play dress up, she needed a fearsome beast to battle. And, well, how was Buck supposed to be an effective dragon without his own wings? OR There is a Princess, Knight, Dragon, Wizard and Damsel in Distress and there is nothing Uncle Buck won't do for his niece.

NGL I absolutely adore this one. I had a blast writing it and assigning roles to the Han-Buckley-Diaz family.

I'm reaching for you, terrified | Buddie tumblr post

I’m leaving the 118. Buck has had his oxygen tank run out, he’s been caught in more natural disasters than he’d prefer, and trapped under a ladder truck. Among other things. Those agonizing memories pale in comparison to what he feels now, hearing Eddie’s announcement. He’s a mix of breathless and numb and tingling pinpricks dancing over his skin. Of too much and not enough and loss.

May

I know all your secrets | 4.6k | E (David/Patrick)

A fic I originally published in 2022 but added a much needed chapter to

Patrick grins, noting the warm, spicy scent filling the spaces between them. It should make him wary, but that sensation stopped long ago, replaced by want and lust. “Rose, we meet again.” “So we do,” David purrs in response. “I hope you’ve been well since Denmark.” Patrick traces a finger over the curves he’s become so accustomed to, feeling the sleek mother-of-pearl buttons under his skin until he hooks onto the V of the single-breasted tuxedo jacket. “Never better. Should we exchange the usual my country wants you dead pleasantries first or is foreplay off the menu tonight?” or the AU where Agents Brewer and Rose are rival spies who can't seem to stay away from each other

June

the only thing that matters now (is everything) | 882 | G (Twylexis)

aka the fic I wrote after shit got real

Alexis combs her fingers through her hair, letting manicured nails lightly scratch along her scalp while she stares at the ceiling. Golden wavy strands glide between her fingertips before dropping back to the pillow, a feeling she wants to take advantage of while she can. The self-soothing act had always calmed her as a little girl. Tonight she’s not exactly troubled, but ever since the tests came back, and the immediate future is wrapped in so much uncertainty, she’s found herself doing it more often. Beyond the sliver of moonlight spilling through the window, painting an ethereal line across the carpet and over the blankets, she doesn’t know what time it is. Only that it’s still night, and dawn could be minutes or hours away. Patrick, with all his lil’ nature skills, would probably know without having to look at a clock. She’ll have to ask next time they talk. ---------------------- A future fic that leaves Alexis pondering life put on hold by the unexpected

October

A lil teen Eddie sneaking out to look at the stars tumblr post

November

if this love is pain (let's hurt tonight) | 3.2k | T Buddie

a foray into angsty writing

Eddie knows it’s him immediately. Feels the weight of his presence like a favorite coat that doesn’t quite fit anymore. Of course he does. Try as he might, Eddie will never not know when Buck is nearby. They are too intertwined. Had become too embedded in each other’s lives before- well, before everything. Before death doulas and school projects, lightning strikes and gunshots, poker games and treasure hunts. Long before Christopher graduated high school, Bobby retired and Hen became captain, and Buck… disappeared. One day he and Buck were moving Christopher into his dorm room, laughing and making plans to send care packages from themselves and Tía Pepa. And the next Eddie felt like he was reliving I need some time too all over again. OR After Chris leaves for college Buck mysteriously disappears. Five years later he finally returns with some answers.

stay here honey (i don't wanna share) | 1.8k | E Lutalia

baby's first Lutalia fic!

This – laying around cuddling after sex – isn’t their usual arrangement. Not like they have a usual arrangement. The only constant is one of them needing to blow off some steam and sending a text that sometimes only consists of a question mark. Then they fuck wherever is most convenient, whether that’s a car, motel room or, on at least one occasion, Nat’s office. Once in a while, like tonight, they both have the time and coordination to meet at one of their apartments, although it’s a scenario they tend to use infrequently for the purposes of keeping things casual. OR Natalia helps soothe Lucy after a rough shift

December

Buddie-ish prompt fill for @steadfastsaturnsrings - Eddie doesn’t remember hanging up the phone, or locking the door. He doesn’t remember grabbing the baseball bat that he keeps under his bed in case someone breaks in. Or where his reign of terror began. He supposes he swung for the first thing within reach and didn’t stop until there was nothing left his brain recognized as destructible.

Buddie prompt fill for @statueinthestone (also added to the WIP pile to explore later) - Buck doesn’t remember exactly when the dreams started, just that it was sometime during his 1.0 phase. Like his subconscious realized before he did that sleeping around wasn’t cutting it. That he craved something deeper and more complex than purely physical relationships.

Fellow Travelers prompt fill for @vanillahigh00 - The words are a balm as much as they are a cut. A stabbing reminder of everything Tim can’t have. Could never have, really. Hawk was never his to keep. And as impossible as their love was before, it’s even more so now. Because Hawk belongs to Lucy. He’s a family man, a paragon of virtue within his world. Even if it’s all a lie.

Miscellaneous (edits and other things)

shall i write it in a letter? - Buckley-Diaz Family edit

And there's this boy... Buddie edit

Offering original poem

Adulting Gold Stars (part 2)

Poker Date Buddie edit

Now & Then Buddie edit

TG:M Buddie edit (is it the most amazing thing ever? not particularly but it was my first so you get it too)

London Boy Oliver edit

tagged by @exhuastedpigeon @thekristen999 @wikiangela

no pressure tagging mi amor @disasterbuckdiaz @monsterrae1 @buddierights @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @spotsandsocks @elvensorceress @stereopticons @blackandwhiteandrose LOML @lizzie-bennetdarcy @apothecarose @rmd-writes @welcometololaland @jesuisici33 @statueinthestone @pirrusstuff @daffi-990 @watchyourbuck @jamespearce9-1-1 @vanillahigh00 @malewifediaz @chaosandwolves @heartshapedvows @hoodie-buck @loserdiaz @gayedmundodiaz @honestlydarkprincess @giddyupbuck @eowon @spagheddiediaz @wildlife4life @your-catfish-friend @spaceprincessem @fionaswhvre @barbiediaz @steadfastsaturnsrings @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming @lemonzestywrites and of course anyone else who wants to share

#i uh did a lot this year #and this isn't even everything #pretty damn proud of myself actually #2023 writing round up #hippo writes #hippo makes things #twylexis fic #lutalia fic #buddie fic #buddieedit #buckley diaz family

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