#OH NOOOO HOW TERRIBLE | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

anonymous-dentist · 1 year

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or: tubbo is dead. the grim reaper looks an awful lot like his dead older brother.

It's warm, which is surprising. It's warm, and it looks much the same as the box did. There's the hot sauce stain on the blanket Tubbo was literally just wearing, right there, and there's the broken beer bottle that's been across from his box for months now. It's right there, it's all right there, but isn't Hell supposed to be more... torture-y?

Ah, Tubbo thinks. He looks down, and there it is. Ah.

Because right there, right at Tubbo's feet in the same position he was in when he went to sleep last night, is Tubbo's body. It's small. Smaller than Tubbo thought his corpse would be. It's a weird thing to think about, but it's just something you have to think about when you're as homeless as he is. (Was?) How much room would your body take up in a medium-sized cardboard box? A large one, would that be worth the effort? Or would a smaller one be more cozy?

Hands in his pockets, Tubbo stares down at his frostbitten body and thinks, wow, he needed a haircut.

"A bit too late for that now, isn't it?" he asks. Nobody is around, but that's to be expected. He picked this spot for a reason; nobody goes to this part of town if they don't have a death wish.

He cocks his head slightly, nose wrinkled. "Could've been worse, though, to be fair."

He absently nudges his body with the toe of his boot; his foot goes right through.

Right, he supposes. He's dead now. He's a ghost, or something.

It's early in the morning. The sun hasn't yet risen, and so that's why he doesn't notice the dark figure meandering his way down the alley until he walks right through Tubbo like- like, well, like if Tubbo's a ghost.

Tubbo's vision swims and he wheezes, hand flying to his chest right over where his heart used to be as he doubles over and tries not to fucking- to discombobulate. Dissipate. Fuck.

With his other hand, of course, he flips the fucker off. What does it matter? He's dead! What's the bastard gonna do, exorcise him? He can't even see him!

Except the man pauses mid-step, shiny shoes and long dark coat and pressed pants and pristine white shirt. He pauses, and Tubbo's chest clenches as the man slowly turns around and stares at him, eyes hidden behind a pair of sunglasses that look like they're worth more money than Tubbo has ever had in his life.

Tubbo stands still. Gotta be a coincidence, right?

"What the fuck?" the man murmurs, and something about the way he says it makes the back of Tubbo's brain tickle. He pulls his phone- the most recent iPhone, clearly brand new and right out of the case and without a case- out of his back pocket and starts tapping at it. "Hold on, what the fuck?"

Tubbo remains silent. He rocks back and forth on his heels, glancing over the man's shoulder and at the plain brick wall behind him. Inside that building is a barber shop, closed and condemned and currently operating as an underground gambling parlor. Can he walk through walls? He's always wanted to go in a casino...

He jumps as the man lets out a sudden bark of sharp laughter. A streetlight just outside of the alley shatters. Somewhere, a car alarm goes off. For his part, Tubbo just bites his tongue and waits. He's good at that. Waiting. (And biting.)

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me!" the man exclaims. He sounds like he's in pain. Looks it, too, his mouth having twisted into a crooked smile that looks more like a grimace the more Tubbo thinks about it.

His free hand pushes his sunglasses up into his hair, and Tubbo's stomach drops, hairs raising on the back of his neck. If he wasn't dead, he'd be shaking in his boots.

The man- if you could call him that, 'cause Tubbo is not convinced- looks from his phone up at Tubbo, and then up at the dark, cloudy pre-dawn sky above.

"Fuck you, man," the man says.

The sky rumbles back. Tubbo can almost imagine it's laughter, and not the nice kind.

Tubbo takes a shaky miniature step backwards. Every fiber of his being is telling him to, uh, get the fuck away from this guy. One time he and Tommy went hunting with Schlatt, back when Wilbur was still alive and Schlatt was still a good babysitter. They watched a rabbit get eaten by a coyote. This feels rather reminiscent of that, now that Tubbo thinks about it.

The man's blank, empty gaze turning back upon him makes Tubbo freeze. (Hah.)

"Tubbo," the man quietly says, and it's horrible what he sounds like. Who he sounds like, rather, now that Tubbo thinks about it, and he really shouldn't be thinking as much as he is right now, what with the Grim Reaper standing in front of him looking fresh out of one of Wilbur's stories from when Tubbo was a kid. "What are you doing here?"

He doesn't have eyes. The man doesn't have eyes. He has holes in his skull, and there are tiny bits of blue flame in each eye, but those aren't eyes. Those are holes.

Tubbo swallows a scream. He just barely manages a shrug and an attempted, casual, "Uh, dying, I suppose?"

The Grim Reaper snorts. He has the same dimples as Tubbo's brother. Same bags under his eyes, too.

"A bit too late for that, kid," the Grim Reaper says.

Tubbo shrugs again. "Well."

"'Well', indeed..." The Grim Reaper looks back up at the sky, and then back at Tubbo, this time fixing him a look with a flat expression. "You're dead, Tubbo." A pause. "You're early."

Tubbo blinks. "I'm sorry?"

"Yeah, you should be," the Grim Reaper grumbles, and he pouts the same way Quackity used to. Tubbo knows the look well; he has the same one on his face now. "You aren't even 21 yet, Tubbo! What the hell?"

"I didn't mean to die."

"Very few do. But you're early." Another pause as he checks his phone again. "You're 30 years early. I'm not supposed to come get you for 30 years, dude, what the fuck?"

With that, he starts pacing down the alley. He steps clear through Tubbo's skull; Tubbo shudders sympathetically. Sympathetic for his own corpse, right, what a world he lives in... or, well. What a world he unlives in?

It's now that Tubbo realizes that the Grim Reaper isn't wearing a coat. That isn't a coat. Those are wings. Great, black wings. Just the same as the ones Wilbur said the Grim Reaper would have. And Wilbur said it with such a smile, such a cheeky little smile. Tubbo can't imagine why he was smiling. This shit's terrifying.

"I mean, I can just... live again?" Tubbo offers. His voice wavers. He hopes the Grim Reaper doesn't notice. He doesn't want the literal death guy to think Tubbo's a pussy. "Can't be that hard, can it?"

"Ugh, no, but it's gonna be so much paperwork!" the Grim Reaper whines. Tubbo flinches, full-body, because he hasn't heard that whine in years, not since the accident. "And! And I... well, it's- Fuck!"

The Grim Reaper cuts himself off with a frustrated swear. His hands run through his hair, gold and silver rings glinting in the dim light. He's got two on his left hand, left ring finger. One gold, one silver, both with big ol' diamonds inlaid.

Tubbo jerks back a couple of steps as the Grim Reaper abruptly spins around and stares at him. He looks the exact same. Except, unlike Quackity, there's a long thin, jagged scar running down the length of his face right through his eye. Same place the windshield went through.

Absently, Tubbo scratches the scar on his own face. The Grim Reaper's mouth twists uncomfortably.

"You're awfully casually about this, you know," says the Grim Reaper. "All things considered. Normally I'm being attacked by now."

Tubbo blinks. "Do you... want me to attack you?"

"Uh, no, no, I'm fine, I just..." He lets out a breath, and he looks awfully sad for a metaphysical representation of the concept of death. "You're dead."

"I am."

The Grim Reaper's hands twitch at his sides like he wants to... do something. Tubbo can't imagine what, but he can also imagine the hug that he's beginning to think that he wants.

"You promised me you'd live," the Grim Reaper says. He sniffs and wipes under his nose absently with one finger. Now that Tubbo looks closer, he can see his bones. "In the hospital. You told me you'd be fine, y'know? I thought you'd manage."

"Apparently I was supposed to," Tubbo says. "What'd you say, 30 more years? What, was there some kind of error or something?"

The Grim Reaper looks back up at the sky. "Or something."

And then he looks back at Tubbo. "I'm-"

"Death," Tubbo supplies. "What did Wilbur always say you were called?"

The Grim Reaper's expression darkens. "The Angel of Death."

Tubbo nods. "That's you."

"Yes," Quackity sighs. "I guess it is."

"You died."

"So have you."

Tubbo shrugs. "Eh, it isn't all bad. Better than the box."

Quackity glares at the box. His box, back when he had one, was much larger than this one. It was big enough to fit both him and Tubbo, and big enough to fit Tommy before Wilbur came and swooped him up. Before Wilbur came and swooped them both up. By the time the accident happened, Quackity was out of a box and in Schlatt's apartment. But you could say a car is a box, and a coffin definitely is. The car felt enough like a coffin in the end, anyway. So did the hospital room.

Funnily enough, Quackity wasn't buried in a box. He had an urn. He was burned because Schlatt said that his face was too disgusting for anything open-coffin.

Schlatt died the night of the funeral. Someone broke into his house, and they cut a line straight through his chest. His heart was torn out. Tubbo and his brothers found the body. Wilbur said it was a scythe that did it, Tommy asked what a scythe was, and Tubbo stared at a black feather left on Schlatt's cold, still, empty body.

"Wilbur was supposed to take care of you," Quackity huffs. "Asshole was smug when I got him. I'm gonna slap him."

"Please do," Tubbo mildly says.

"Yeah," Quackity sighs.

Tubbo looks at him, and he can almost imagine that Quackity looks back.

#a.d.'s fics i suppose.#a.d.'s fics i suppose #i left if off awkwardly cause it's like a metaphor or something idk #i never write these guys so like whatever #it's awkward cause death is awkward yeah! :D #techno did hit q with a car though and that is how he died #techno voice 'oh noooo how terrible'

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piplupod · 5 months

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calculating how much crocheting i have to do before christmas and it slowly but steadily dawns on me how fucked i am

#MY HANDS... MY HANDS ARE GOING TO BE RUINED....#I've got a callous again on one finger from crocheting my own scarf this past week fjfkdl #im only halfway done it... AUGH #im going to perish dhdkdl this was a terrible idea on my part #oh god i still have to figure out how to make napkin holders for my mum. oh noooo fjfkdl I'm doomed #alright time to get up out of bed and have food and then... start the crocheting i guess fjdksl #my own scarf will have to wait a while sbdhdkdl I'll just suffer thru the cold outside until i get thru a couple gift projects #THIS WAS SO FOOLISH. FOOLISH ENDEAVOUR. DOOMED ENDEAVOUR. AAAUUGGHHH #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

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fatpussygothgf · 2 years

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as usual i get hornier the sleepier i get for some stupid reason

#oh noooo what if someone came and took advantage of that lol how terrible

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no-one-hears-me · 2 months

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I can't say this without sounding bitchy but I was I wasn't so desirable

#not like oh noooo I'm so pretty and funny and likeable. oh no how terrible #but i just don't want men to be interested in me and there are way too many men that want me #can i have peace #just one moment without men that want to date me or have unprotected sex with me #and sooo many beautiful friendships are ruined by men that want me too badly #bc sometimes men only befriend me bc they're into me. so I'm like yay friend and they just don't want friendship #or worse. we have a good friendship that gets ruined bc they develop feelings for me #i don't mind if my friend has a lil crush on me. it's normal and it happens sometimes #i just don't want men to end nice friendships bc i don't wanna date them #like men like me enough for a committed relationship but not enough to stay friends???? don't understand #too complicated #I'm just here to vibe and i don't want men to desire me. but they do #like. virtually every man i know #it's so upsetting #Sera

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oozywoozycon · 1 year

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OKAY IS THIS NOT OBVIOUS

#they keep being like …oh nooo alarics not a vamp anymore #he can’t un-compel elena and give her the memories he took away #oh noooo #guess the memories are gone forever now #however could we get them back #oh no! another human we compelled crossed into mystic falls and immediately remembered what we erased!!#how terrible!#elena i’m so sorry ab your memories we’ll circle back to this #again.#IS IT NOT OBVIOUS #teen vamp nostalgia #hoozy

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going-to-ikea-for-the-fries · 2 months

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It's a Match! || 141 x reader

[ Chapter 8 ] || [ Chapter 10 ]

Pairing: Ghost x gn!Reader || 141 x gn!Reader Words: 1.2K~ Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you? a/n: i think Ghost always steals Soap's hygiene products bc he cannot be arsed to buy some for himself.

Chapter 9: Drinks?

The moment the helo touched down, the soldiers descended, each of them parting ways as they went about their regular business, returning their gear to the armory, debriefing, showering, eating…

Almost a whole hour after their arrival, Simon threw himself down onto his bed, his skin dewy from the shower, his hair combed to the front and dripping over his face.

He popped open the top drawer of his nightstand and fished out his phone and charger. He set the charger up and turned on the phone as it charged up.

Simon didn’t often use his iPhone. Sometimes he forgot he even had it. The only times he did was to check Soap’s and Gaz’s insta/snap stories (because he liked being up to date on what they were doing) and when they were all on leave and had parted ways, so he could check the groupchat.

Once the phone turned on, he immediately beelined for Tinder and opened the app. The app lagged a bit at first but, open loading up, he saw it.

99+ likes, 99+ messages.

The big majority of them were girls, too young for him, thirsting for him, even with his face being hidden. He always knew he could attract people, so it didn’t exactly surprise him.

Rolling his eyes, he flicked his finger over the screen until he found your chat and clicked on it.

Simon: I’m back and in one piece. Simon: I think you need to wish me luck more often.

He didn’t expect you to answer him immediately, even if it was only 6 P.M. on a Tuesday and you’d likely be at home and free, considering the job you listed on your profile.

However, the Read notification popped up under his text almost immediately and your dm came right after without the app even announcing you were typing.

you: omg i was literally JUST checking to see if you had said anything you: welcome back!

The text made a smirk take over his scarred lips before he bit the bottom one and typed out a reply.

Simon: Have you been waiting to hear from me for 3 weeks? you: noooo Simon: That’s frankly adorable. Simon: Didn’t think I’d have gotten in your head that strongly. you: oh piss off simon. you: ur not that great. Simon: You’re still texting me. you: sooo???? Simon: So, I can’t be that terrible. Simon: Got your attention, didn’t I? you: oh piss off you: ur so cocky and for what Simon: Not cocky. Just sure of myself. you: no Simon. No? you: no 😤 Simon: Okay then. Simon: Suddenly not sure of myself because you deemed it so. Simon: I’m very insecure now. Simon: Is that better? you: stop being such a bloody smartass 🙄🙄🙄 Simon: You’re breaking my heart, sweetheart. Simon: I can’t take this. Simon: Going to go hug my pillow and cry some more. you: oh no you: i’m making the giant cry? 😱 Simon: Is that a dig at my height? you: YES Simon: My God, I’m going to cry even more. Simon: I’m being bullied. you: good!!! 😤 Simon: I’m making you pay for my therapy. you: pay for it yourself!!!! 🙄 Simon: How about I pay for dinner for the two of us one of these days instead?

You didn’t answer immediately after that. You always did that whenever he flirted with you and spoke about taking you out.

Simon had a shit-eating grin on his face, imagining that you were all annoyed at him behind the screen. He was right in guessing you were shy about going out, he assumed.

you: no. you: but you can buy me a drink tonight.

His jaw dropped and his eyebrows raised just a bit.

Simon: It’s a Tuesday night, are you sure? Simon: You know going out for drinks on a Tuesday is usually a sign of alcoholism? you: ur backing out now? you: wheres all that bravado of yours? Simon: Oh no, sweetheart. I’m not backing out, I’m asking if you’re sure. you: if i wasnt i wouldnt have invited you. Simon: Fair enough. Simon: Where? you: the same pub i met up with john at maybe? Simon: Rog. Simon: 30 minutes. you: i need longer to get ready. Simon: That’s fine. I’ll still be there in 30. you: are you going to be wearing the mask? Simon: 🤷‍♂️ you: SIMON you: YOU CAN’T BE PULLING OUT THE EMOJIS LIKE THIS you: YOU STARTLE ME EVERY TIME. Simon: Good. Simon: See you soon.

Setting the phone down on the mattress, Simon got up from bed and took off his towel, tossing it over the back of his desk chair before opening the top drawer of his tall dresser, grabbing a pair of black boxer briefs and putting them on.

Then, he rummaged through the other drawers looking for his one ‘going out shirt’™️ (which was actually a black long-sleeve compression shirt) which he put on along with a pair of dark jeans. It was a simple outfit.

Then he slipped on some black boots. He threw on a leather jacket over that and tucked a black neck gaiter into the neckline of the t-shirt, hiking it up to cover his mouth and nose.

Barely a minute later, he was making his way into Soap’s room and across the small space that separated him from the bathroom.

“Going somewhere, L.T.?” Soap probed from his spot at his desk, eyebrows raised and his eyes locked on the older man’s with intrigue. He rarely saw Ghost in civvies and even more rarely did he see him without a hoodie.

Unlike Ghost, Soap had made his officer’s quarters into his own living space, having brought in a gaming computer and chair, a small beanbag, and had plenty of knick-knacks around.

“Going out.” Ghost said simply as he grabbed Soap’s hair gel and squirted a glob of it into his hand before lathering them and using them to run through his blond locks which were exposed without the hoodie or signature balaclava.

“Out? On a date?” Soap asked Ghost as he quickly jogged up to the bathroom door, watching as Ghost fiddled with his hair.

“No. Just drinks.” Ghost replied as he tugged a bit as his hair to make it stand up straight.

“Is this someone you found on Tinder…?” Soap probed as he leaned his shoulder on the bathroom door, a boyish grin on his lips.

Ghost looked over at Soap out of the corner of his eye as he finished fiddling with his hair and rinsed his hands under ice cold water in the sink.

Soap took Ghost’s silence as an affirmative response. “Pro’lly a shag too, hm?” He joked, earning him another glance out of the corner of his eye. “Bloody hell, L.T. tell me all about it later, yea?” He laughed.

“Fuck no.” Ghost added as he grabbed one of Soap’s cologne bottles and raised it up for a sniff before scowling at the scent and setting it down again.

“Aw, c’mon L.T.!” He pleaded.

“Get your own date, MacTavish.” Then, he just made his way right out the door, forcing Soap to move out of the way, looking a bit like a wounded puppy.

“I’m not getting anything interesting on there!” Soap lamented with a sigh.

“No? Well, I’m sorry for you, then, Johnny.” Ghost quipped as he opened the door again and stepped out into the hall, leaving Soap behind.

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taglist: @daisychainsinknots , @bunnysdaydreams , @iite-cool , @lahniu , @pagesfalling , @tapioca-milktea1978 , @live-love-be-unique , @thelaisydazy , @littleghosthunter , @bossva , @emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago , @chamomiletealeaf , @ghosts-hoe , @kariiiel , @ltbarnes , @irregulardongyoung , @spacelia , @hayleybarnesx , @infpt-zylith , @xxshadowbabexx , @frescoisnotinthemilitary , @leeeenistop , @lucienbarkbark , @zombie-freak , @wittleespur

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#ikea writes 💚#it's a match! fic #cod modern warfare #cod fanfic #captain john price #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley #text story #cod x reader #call of duty x reader #cod smut #simon ghost riley x reader

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spiceofvy · 6 months

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SKZ - Reader get's insecure during sex

cw: gender neutral reader, nsfw, insecurities, body image issues, comfort, lots of praise, bottom reader (Minho), mirror sex (Minho), overstimulation (Jeongin), my Changbin bias is very obvious in this one

Chan: Kisses you softly after your confession. Worried about what made you feel that way. He feels so sad that someone or something in your past made you so insecure, that you even feel uncomfortable around him. Wants to make sure you don't ever feel like that again. "Let me take your mind off it, I promise I will make you feel better." From now on whenever you have sex he spends a ton of time complimenting you and caressing your body. Worshiping you, holding you close as he tells you again and again how lucky he is to get to see you in such a vulnerable position.

Minho: when you tell him he is taken aback a bit. He loves you so much, so he can't understand how you could not love yourself. "Can we try something? I wanna show you how beautiful you are." as he pulls you in front of his mirror, and fucks you in front of it. Making you look at yourself as you cum. Holding your face tightly so you can't break eye contact with yourself. After he is finished he carries you to the bathtub and slowly washes you body, whispering sweet praise into your shoulders.

Changbin: This man does not allow any kind of insecurities in his bedroom. He will worship it all out of your system. He lays you out in front of him and starts kissing every piece of skin. Every curve or angle. Every knuckle, every spot. While whispering the sweetest words into your ear. Calling you pet names. Tells you how beautiful you are to him. How perfect. How grateful he is to be able to touch you. And touching you he does. He probably makes you cum during so. And afterward, he holds you, not caring if he came too. He holds you and kisses your temple, promising the world to you. "So pretty. So perfect. My stunning love. I will not let you believe that you are anything but beautiful."

Hyunjin: He looks you dead in the eyes and pulls out his sketchbook showing all the stunning pieces of art he did inspired by you. Portraits of you with intricate sketches and watercolors are all so beautiful that it takes your breath away. "Would you call my art ugly too? Then why do you insult my muse like that?" He then makes some very slow love with you. Whispering in your ear how he hopes to someday draw you in a situation like this too.

Jisung: "Noooo babe, you're too hot to be insecure." He tries to pull a joke to put you into a better mindset. But in reality he is so heartbroken because he loves you so much and he wants you to always feel like the amazing person you are. Kisses you for a long time as you slowly makes love to you. He softly touches you all over you body, caressing your skin, telling you all his favorite parts of your body. Which are to no surprise: all of them.

Felix: He looks so devastated. He knows how terrible body image issues feel and to know that you feel like that too, it breaks his heart. He believes that you are too amazing to go through stuff like that, and that the world is so unfair to make you feel like that. Bites back some tears as he holds you tightly. "Please don't ever question your beauty." You have a deep conversation about insecurities, and how to deal with them. Afterwards he starts kissing you softly, and you making out turns into slow sex again.

Seungmin: He understands how you feel. He struggled with insecurities before and so he puts everything he has into making sure you can feel better. He whispers soft compliments into your skin as he slowly pushes you over the edge. During aftercare he wraps you in your favorite blanket and as he feeds you snacks he tells you about how he overcame his own insecurities. "You are the most beautiful person in this world, believe me please."

Jeongin: Oh sweet soft boy. He takes it slow. Pressing kisses to your skin. Holding you softly. He tells you how amazing you look to him. How lucky he is to have you. As he slowly kisses down your body. Whispering love into your thighs, looking up to you like you're the world. "Please let me show you just how beautiful I think you are." He makes you cum a lot that night. Whispering the softest words into your ear as he slowly pushes you into overstimulation.

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weird-is-life · 3 months

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I’m actually obsessed w Spencer Reid rn. Please can you write something really really cute and fluffy and reader gets drunk while out meeting Spencer’s team, and starts getting really jealous and protective of him, clinging to his waist and scowling at any girl, (or boy, because reader explains that her boy is so pretty that she bets men love him too), that come anywhere near him. The team tease the two lovingly, but when reader gets so overwhelmed and clingy that she starts to cry, Spencer melts. He starts massaging her hair, cuddling her close to his chest. He’s praising her and telling her how much he adores her and only her.

He drives her home, and it ends in the two falling asleep whilst spooning each other <3

Hii, ty for the request🥰! Hope this is okay. Sorry it took me so long. Warnings: use of pet names, mentions of alcohol, jealous!reader, fluff (0.9k)

It's not your first time meeting Spencer's team, so you definitely aren't shy to have a good time along with some drinks.

But eventually, one drink turns into one too many and you end up drunk. And it's not just you, it's everybody, except for the drivers of the night. Meaning Spencer, he's your driver for the night, so he sticks to a soda for the whole night.

And actually, Spencer goes to get you a soda as well, not wanting you to get anymore drunk. He knows, you'll feel terrible in the morning with how many drinks you've had already.

When he comes back with the sodas and sits next to you, your whole face lights up at the sight of him and you immediately make yourself comfortable on his lap.

"Wha- Oh, okay, "Spencer doesn't get the chance to say anything as you sit in his lap. He only chuckles at it and so does the team.

"W-what?" you cluelessly giggle along with them, a bit confused why they are all laughing.

"Nothing, "Emily answers for all of them and chuckles some more.

You frown drunkenly, but the frown dissappears just as quickly as it came, when you feel Spencer squeezing your thigh (lovingly).

You look at him, your expression completely lovesick," you look so handsome tonight Spence," your attempt of a whisper is very, very far from actually whispering.

"Just today?" Spencer actually whispers with a teasing smile.

"Noooo," you drag the 'o' for a bit too long, " y-you always look v-very handsome."

Again, you fail to whisper, so the team hears your answer clearly.

"He really does and I think some other people here think it, too " Derek chuckles and his eyes end up on a table at the back of the bar, the people there are visibly ogling Spencer.

When you notice it, you scowl. It's surprising, that you can even see that far back with your kind of blurry vission, but you do.

It looks quite comical, how you drunkenly glare at them. But you can't help it, why are they looking at Spence, your Spence, like that?

"Woah, woah, woah, babe, you're gonna kill someone with that look," Emily teases you, she's just as drunk as you, so she finds her comment very funny and laughs. You, on the other hand, glare at her, as well.

"You guys are being so mean," you slur as you point at the team and they just laugh some more. You can't help, but to giggle with them, too. You can't even remember why you were upset a few seconds ago as you laugh with them. Spencer only shakes his head at how ridiculous you all are, although there's a smile on his face, too.

Once the laughter dies down and everybody starts a small talk of their own. Your endorphins seem to run out of your system and your ecstatic mood dissappears.

Spencer notices it immediately, your sad face and dejected sitting position tell him enough. He knows, it's time for you and him to go home and get some sleep.

He asks you if you want to go home and you just tiredly nod.

Spencer gently pulls you up onto your wobbly legs and says goodbye to everyone for you both. He walks you to the car (or more like he carries you there, because you put your whole bodyweight on him) and he even puts on the seatbelt for you.

Before Spencer can even start the car, you are sniffling softly with big tears running down your cheeks.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Spencer instantly worries, taking your face into his hands and wiping away the loose tears.

"I just....I just l-love you so much," you hiccup as you respond to his question. And Spencer swears, he couldn't love you any more after hearing your adorable answer.

"Yeah? Is that why you're crying?" he gives you a warm, amused smile.

"M-maybe," you don't really know why you're crying. Spencer thinks, it might be the alcohol in your system messing with your hormones.

Spencer would laugh at your answer if you didn't look so damn sad about it. Instead he just says, "come here."

He hugs you and you very eagerly hug him back. Spencer runs his hand up and down over your back until the sniffling stops and until he can't feel anymore tears wetting his t-shirt.

He pulls you away from him carefully, "are you feeling better? Should we head home now, huh?"

You nod sluggishly, " y-yeah, but w-will you hug me some more at home?"

"Of course, however long you want, sweetheart," Spencer smiles at you and raises your intertwined hands towards his lips to kiss the back of your hand.

You smile at him, happy to hear Spencer's promise of cuddles and you contentedly look out of the window, while Spencer starts the car.

By the time Spencer parks the car, you are out, fast asleep in the front seat. He can't blame you, the roar of the engine would lull him to sleep too if he was just as tired and just as drunk as you.

Spencer, though unwillingly, wakes you up. You wake up, confused as to where you are, but you smile sleepily at Spence, when you realise it's him.

"Come on, love. Let's get you inside," you lean heavily on him as you walk to the apartment.

Once, you're inside, Spencer helps you change into comfy pyjamas and removes your make-up (you are half asleep as he does that). He prepares a glass of water and painkillers for you on the bedside table for the morning.

When Spencer finally joins you in the bed, you are sleeping again. He pulls you towards him and cuddles you close, you sigh happily into his chest. You two stay like that the whole night, Spencer hugs you tightly just like he promised, he would.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid

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thechekhov · 3 months

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Dungeon Meshi Quick Reacts: CH36

Time find out just how fucked up Toshiro got.

Hey Kabru. Chill.

That sure is a normal look to give your team mate. I'm sure you're a normal, well adjusted leader who understands when you step out of bounds.

Bold of you to assume they even care. They're too caught up in the plot of the second arc to even remember you...

So much to question here. The fact that Toshiro has retainers. The fact that they're all mildly bored. The fact that Marcille seems to hate it here. Marcille, hello??? Are you only interested in Falin? Do you just hate people that aren't her?

The fact that she's still wearing the frog costume makes this panel, honestly. What a legend.

This is so wholesome. Laios just decided to therapy this workaholic man all on his own, dangit. If he won't do it, who will? Senshi must be so proud.

Hang on, I just realized--.....is that.

Is that the cat girl...?!!? That I've been seeing? I thought it was just a hat at first, but those are ears, aren't they?! Is she the one that eventually joins the party?

Marcille, you're a beautiful frog woman to me.

If I didn't know that Chillchuck is a dad already, I would have known it at this point. What a thing to say. "oh no, which one of these kids grown men is going to cause more trouble if left unattended"

I'm sure that's fine.

...........

But when you put it that way, it seems a little.... simple?

Kabru is beginning to suspect he's in the wrong class.

"Ah yes, a little freak that scuttles around from paintings to reality and speaks in archaic and mysterious tones. GOTTA be a Sorcerer. And hella mad, too!"

The math checks out, your honor.

Her best, Karbohydrate. She did her best.

Oh Laios, you're a hoot.

Kabru, you literally said Laios is a terrible liar three seconds ago. Maybe be a little less obvious? 😂

...you've done this to yourself, mate.

Okay, you know what. I take it back. I still don't like Kabru but watching him suffer IS supremely entertaining.

Okay, I can see how he might jump to the wrong conclusions here. They did not, in fact, eat the orcs.....

Orcs are duty bound to slap ya upside the head.

I love how genuinely patient Senshi is, and how good he is at listening. Chillchuck was worried but he's just vibing with new friends.

I'm sure they're having a grand old time.

What do those ears do, hmmm?

I enjoy the fact that he says "they're all treated as heinous criminals" instead of passing moral judgement and saying 'they're beyond reproach' or the like. He knows the consequences, and remarks not at all on whether or not he agrees with the judgement itself.

I could also draw some parallels here about how Japan treats all drugs but. Well. That's another topic.

Oh, noooo. As opposed to that other way of dying, where your corpse is dragged about in a carnival fashion after you die, to dry up in the light of day forever after.

Oh wait.

This bitch is really only here for the drama. 😅

FALIN?!?!?!?! MY GIRL

WHY THE LONG......body...?

....................cool. Cool cool cool cool cool. Alright. Okay okay okay. Alright.

#dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi quick reacts #chekhov reads dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi liveblog

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euphoric-ghoul · 1 month

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I keep seeing the things that say "people will call a character annoying and a terrible person and then show you a child" THIS IS ABOUT C!TOMMY OH MY GOD. he was canonically what ?? his character was around 13 when he was supposed to be partially in control of a country?? fight a war?? (all on the basis his lore started around 13 as I've seen) making exile roughly him being 15 ?? hello ?? how was he suppost to deal with all of that with virtually no mentoring (c!wilbur did NOT fucking count.)

but noooo he's tommyinnit he's the annoying little bitch 😣😣 because he's loud and silly GOD FORBID A GUY HAVE A LITTLE WHIMSY AFTER LIFE ALTERING TRAUMA

(Edit: sorry for getting his age wrong guys I was looking at wiki's and everything feel free to stone me in the square I guess 😿😿 he's roughly 18ish I'm so sorry for everyone I've hurt by spreading this misinformation, I promise to do better starting now. again, I'm so sorry to affected parties.)

#tommyinnit #c!tommy #guys please hear me out

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artemis-in-space · 8 months

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I love that Gabriel was like "oh noooo don't send me to hell. Oh nooooo. Where my partner lives? How terrible."

#go2 #good omens #good omens season 2 #also what was stopping him from just escaping with his clothes on

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hypnobrat · 4 months

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Oh no, it would be a shame if a butch offered to help show me how to fix my car in exchange for my body. That would be just so terrible. I would never be a slut for a handy butch. I wouldn’t let her play with me any way she wants so I can do maintenance on my car. Noooo

#sapphic nsft #lesbian nsft #lesbian #sapphic #dyke nsft #kinky lesbian #butch nsft #butch4all

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gabessquishytum · 3 months

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I watched The Big Short so I'm gonna make it everyone's problem: banker Dream is taken to a strip club by his banker colleagues to celebrate his first day at work.

Dream is really not happy with any of it, but he has been told he too stuck-up and he needs to start making friends if he wants his career to work. (He works at his father's bank but that doesn't matter, his dad is a notoriously scummy man with the heart of a stone)

His colleagues want to prank him tho (a sort of hazing ritual) so they take him to a male strip club, not knowing that he is bi. And then, Hob shows up in a very skimpy outfit which is less fabric and more hopes and glitter. He immediately beelines towards Dream, who is the only one who manages to look incredibly uncomfortable but also obsessively curious at the same time.

(also he is the most beautiful man Hob has ever seen, and he can spot a sensitive heart, especially amongst a sea of dudebro bankers)

Dream gets the hazing of his life and seriously considers switching banks so he can get another hazing ritual ASAP

Dream, obviously having the time of his life: oh noooo please stop this is so terrible I am being hazed so bad right now

Honestly though, Hob is amused and pleased to work on Dream for what's left of his shift. He hates the city boys who come in and act like he's some kind of freak show (and then have the nerve to ask him for a blowjob backstage, the hypocrites). But Dream seems authentic, so Hob gives him a good time. He chats as he works, mostly whispering sympathetically in Dream’s ear about how his banker colleagues obviously suck. Dream struggles to speak, but he does apologise for what Hob has to put up with. Hob just grins, and rolls his arse firmly over Dream’s cock. Having something pretty to look at as he dances definitely makes up for the shitty guys whooping and catcalling.

He tells Dream to join him in the dressing room in 5 minutes, which is against the rules, but Hob is horny and Dream is the most gorgeous man he's seen in years. Maybe he'll also give Dream a few tips about handling his new career. The thing is, Hob used to work in finance before he realised that the whole thing was a scam and was bound to crash eventually. At least stripping is an honest profession...

Hob rides Dream’s massive dick while they both try to stay quiet and avoid the club management. It's the most fun either of them have had in years. If his colleagues in finance had been as pretty as Dream, Hob might never have quit!! At least in this job, he has an excuse to take his clothes off whenever Dream comes into the room...

#the sandman #dreamling #nsft #Academicblorbo

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creepsopasta · 1 year

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playing games with some pastas

includes; eyeless jack, jeff the killer, hoodie, masky, ticci toby, homicidal liu, kagekao

eyeless jack:

- bit of a sore loser. not good with games that make him rage or online games

- voice chat with him is crazy!! he is literally foaming at the mouth yelling and cursing he is so bad at games :(

- “jack it’s gonna be okay” “FUCK you”

- he is not very kind about his losses

- most likely ends up throwing the control at the tv and breaking it (bad ending)

- whenever he ends up winning he’s ecstatic he does not stop talking about it and will brag about it to you exclusively. just go with it okay he needs it for his already shattered ego

- 0/10 experience would not do again.. okay maybe he would if you talked him into it and told him how much of a great player he is

- “i AM awesome aren’t i???” “yes you are <3”

- the more you play together the more he’ll learn to calm the fuck down and just enjoy himself

- still rages a lot tho

jeff the killer:

- plays board games like candyland and twister

- he’s a fucking shark he’s got all this shit down he knows how to win

- anyone who gets paired up with him for game night is 85% guaranteed to win (unfortunately there is someone out there who’s better than him)

- gets PISSED over not winning twister fucking furious he is literally the most flexible guy in this house he can do so much with his body

- monopoly is his favorite game. he esp loves to play with the younger pastas bc they believe anything he says and he thinks it’s hilarious

- “NOOOO PLEASE DON’T TAKE MY HOUSE” “your rent is $500,000, sally… it’s my house now”

- not a very avid video game player. he never really played a lot tbh

- good at everything EXCEPT connect four. do not make him play connect four he hates it he has terrible memories of it

- mastermind strategy planner. it’s a shame he doesn’t think this much at any other time

- boasts about it big time if you lose (you will probably lose) but might even try to let you win on purpose if he feels bad or sees you’re upset

hoodie:

- more of an arcade game guy. if you’re looking for like pinball games or pacman or space invaders or maze games or those weird money machines (that he kind of just. steals from) then he’s like great at all of them

- has spent hours honing his skills in his free time so you’ll be grinding for a while if you wanna beat him

- all the highest scores on the arcade machines are his. no one has topped them bc they’re fucking insane

- “wow you really have nothing better to do huh” [takes out gun] “that’s enough out of you jack can’t even fuckin move the joysticks around”

- tries to act like he isn’t competitive about it but he really super is

- thinks it’s just adorable that you think you can defeat him. no he will not be humbled by his lover of all people… that would make him a weak man

- goddamn merciless. no favors for anyone he revels in the rage he causes (see jack for more)

- if you’re a beginner he’ll take it easy on you until you learn the ropes and will offer tips but as time goes on he’s gonna be looking for a fight

- if he’s ever beaten, he will take it in grace and go straight from denial to acceptance

- does not rage that often. just hardcore practices until he’s like fucking unstoppable

masky:

- card player :(

- hates go fish tho he has such bad luck with it and everyone makes fun of him bc it’s like the universe does not want him to win

- good at boring ass stuff like solitaire or blackjack and if you ask him if he can play anything funner he’ll be like “oh so like rummy or spoons :]”

- no masky not like rummy or spoons… like uno or fucking play with some goddamn pokémon cards

- he’s so enthusiastic about it though so cmon just indulge him alright.. he literally has nobody else around him who’s into cards

- “okay so i win” “what… but we just started”

- he plays chess too!!! maybe you’ll find that more interesting?? he’s not very in touch with board games or anything this is the best he’s got

- deadass makes up his own rules if you don’t know anything about the game you’re playing

- “yeah so now you have to eat a rat. sorry babe”

- is never going to make fun of you if you suck at cards it’s not like he can beat jack in video games

ticci toby:

- dnd enjoyer he loves being the dm especially

- he, you, jeff, hoodie, lj, and occasionally masky have game nights and all you guys do is sit around the kitchen table trying not to curse each other out for doing stupid shit

- “c’mon guys this is supposed to be fun :(”

- doesn’t know that most of you have no idea how to play so he makes it super difficult

- has had to REPEATEDLY glue the die back together because jeff cannot stop snapping it in half

- “why does your dumbass partner always win this is fucking favoritism” “and then jeffery fell off a building and into the ocean 🥰”

- teaches you all you need to know about the game he will sit there for hours if he needs to just talking about the complexity of the rules

- he seems to have a lot of fun with it so everyone tries their best to not break the pieces or punch masky or yell at each other or punch masky

- better with snacks and drinks and lots of breaks so everyone can calm down and at least try to find some joy in the game

- 6/10 experience. would only try again without jeff at the table

homicidal liu:

- among us player… pisses everybody off bc he’s unfortunately very good at it and always imposter

- absolutely kills it (pun intended)

- no mercy he kills everyone including his loved ones this is a battle to the death and he is going to win goddamnit

- being imposter with him is some of the easiest shit bc he will carry the team entirely

- nothing to brag about tho since it’s a little space game and it’s really easy

- always knows who the imposter is if it’s not him he’s got some kind of foresight he will go out of his way to sabotage their chances at winning

- “would you love me more… if i killed someone for you 😇😇” “but you killed ME liu” “whoops”

- will stay with you for most of the game so he has an excuse for being innocent. once you are of no use to him he will stab you in the back

- relatively tame over voice chat. unless his brother happens to be there then it’s just jeff getting pissed off bc he can’t activate the reactor

- wakes you up at 2 am, phone in hand, smile on his face, asking “do you wanna play among us?”

- “liu, shut the fuck up and go back to sleep.” “ok.. :((”

kagekao:

- great at those games you play in your yard like frisbee or tag or hide n seek or maybe darts

- since the bitch can fly and run really fast it’s very unfair he pretty much cheats at everything and he thinks it’s funny

- frisbee with him is a literal field day. throws it so far you can’t find it ever again you’ll just have to buy a whole ass new one

- “what the FUCK kagekao” “🤷”

- laughs and makes fun of you for just not being as skilled as him maybe if you could fly you could beat him just get off the ground dumbass

- also likes to race but we all know how that’s gonna go (hint: he wins)

- unless he’s up against candy pop or something no one else really has a chance at beating him

- might help you a little bit if you’re struggling. like that one time he carried you up into the air and then dropped you because he thought it would be funny but then he couldn’t catch you in time so you ended up falling on lj and breaking one of your arms

- wrote you a little heartfelt letter about it later with a very fancy “sorry ❤️” in calligraphy and a few drawings of flowers (it did not help. your arm was still broken)

- really bad sport does NOT like to lose he will completely shut down

- little fuckin bastard

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callofdudes · 1 year

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✨COD as text messages✨ (incorrect quotes)

(may or may not scar you)

Soap: I need to go to the hospital.

Gaz: Why?

Soap: Everytime I close my eyes I can't see!

Gaz: Idiot.

-------

Rudy: Wanna come over? No one's home 😏

Alejandro: Be there in a few minutes 😍

Rudy: K

Alejandro: I'm here where are you?

Rudy: I told you no one is home

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Price: Hey do you have any condoms I could use? I really need one for tonight.

Soap: Captain?! WTF!! Do you realize who you just texted?

Price: Ya I know that I texted you son. And I also know that you have some. I need one is that ok? I don't want to make the same mistake again.

Soap: Is the mistake me?

Price: ...

-------

Gaz: Dude what is your street name?

Soap: Lil Marco

Gaz: You live on a street called Lil Marco?

Soap: Ohhhh you meant my address?

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Alejandro: How do you spell 'me'?

Rudy: ummm... M and E

Alejandro: You forgot the D

Rudy: There's no D in me...

Alejandro: ...I can fix that

Rudy: I'm blocking you

-------

Nikolai: How was Price's surprise party?

Soap: it was great! We scared the cum out of him!!

Nikolai: Soap that's not funny.

Soap: omg! I'm so sorry I meant cum

Soap: NOOOO! I meant we scared the *CRAP out of Price!

Nikolai: ok because the other ones my job :)

Soap: ...

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Alex: Dude how drunk was I last night?

Gaz: Well, at one point I convinced you to try and bite your own nose.....

Alex: Then what happened?

Gaz: You were rolling around on the floor for an hour screaming "ITS GETTING AWAY ITS GETTING AWAY!!!!!!"

Alex: I hate you more then words can express....

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Soap: Simon there's a moth on the outside of the bathroom door can you get rid of it?

Soap: Pls hurry because I'm going to cry

Soap: Simon

Soap: Ghost!

Ghost: Ghost is dead. You're next. Love, Moth

-------

Price: In a meeting

Laswell: Are you in a meeting?

Price: No, why?

-------

Soap: You're so beautiful.

Soap: Let me take you out. I wanna get you a table at Liv

Soap: Boy I wanna write a song about us

Soap: What u want me to call it?

Ghost: Restraining Order

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Alex: What does IDK, LY & TTYL mean?

Gaz: I don't know, love you, talk to you later.

Alex: OK, I will ask Farah

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Price: How is practice going?

Ghost: Terrible I want to stab everybody here

Price: Okay just don't get any blood on your clothes

Ghost: You're a military captain you shouldn't be codoning this

Price: Don't tell me how to live my life

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Soap: Dude

Soap: Buttholes are like pockets

Soap: Like you can store stuff up there

Soap: And keep it safe

Gaz: no they are not

Gaz: do not do that

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Soap: Hey

Ghost: Hey

Soap: How are you

Ghost: I am fine. How about you?

Soap: I've been better

Soap: I'm actually really surprised you texted me

Ghost: You texted me

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Price: Hi babe, what are you doing?

Nikolai: Nothing much, 'em really tired. Just going to sleep now babe. And you?

Price: In the club standing behind you

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Gaz: So, I hear you like bad boys

Alex: Yea

Gaz: Well, I'm not trying to impress you or anything but my bedtime is 7:00, but I go to bed a 7:02!! WHAT NOW!!

Alex: IS THAT EVEN LEGAL???

Gaz: Idk, I just like living dangerously

Alex: MARRY ME!!!!

-------

Soap: How could you?? I trusted you and you cheated on me!!!

Soap: Oh, sorry Simon That was meant for (guy)

Ghost: Oh.

Ghost: On a completely unrelated topic, have you seen my shotgun anywhere?

-------

Nikolai: You got a letter.

Price: Ok.

Nikolai: From the bank, I think.

Price: Ok.

Nikolai: Tasted important.

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Ghost: Come downstairs and talk to me please. I'm lonely.

Soap: Isn't Gaz there?

Ghost: Yes, but I like you more.

-------

I don't know where this idea came from. I found a few funny screenshots that made me think of these guys so I went down a rabbit hole to make these. I'm sorry for any trauma these may have caused 😂. Let me know if you want to see more!

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