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#OF COURSE we want to be near each other and shit lmao stop telling me how hard it must be for me
newtkive · 3 months
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pixels [newt x reader - modern text au]
ch. 1 - the gc birth
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in which two online friends navigate a romance through a minecraft groupchat with their stupid friends
or, newt, the quiet, stoic boy, and y/n, the bubbly girl both curse the world for keeping them apart, but at least they can send each other cute emojis and hope the other doesn't notice their blossoming feelings.
warnings: strong language, mutual pining, none really.
➥ m.list
__
notes: hi :p im very new to writing on tumblr (but ive always been a reader) so pls bare w me! and im trying to revert back to being 14 (im 23 lols..) so im revisiting my old favs including the maze runner/thomas (bc i binged the artful dodger and now im obsessed again). there will be non-text chapters in the future as well, when everyone eventually meets. this will be newt focused so enjoy !! also everyone is like a realistic age from 23 to 28
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THE GLADE
[ 7:45 PM ]
alby added minho, y/n, newt, tommy, and gally
alby: Hello, guys.
minho: wtf is this
newt: uhhhh
tommy: hi :3
y/n: so this is why you asked me for my # in private
gally: i didn’t consent to this when i gave you my number
newt: don’t give strange men your number y/n
tommy: oh that’s y/n?
alby: Wait, Newt you had Y/N’s number already??
newt: yea
tommy: o.O
y/n: i gave it to him like two weeks after we met lmao
tommy: SO HE HAD YOUR NUMBER FOR A YEAR AND I DIDNT????
y/n: well he asked and you guys didn’t :p
newt: lmao
minho: ik he smug as fuck rn
not u asking for a girls number lmao simp
newt: stop
y/n: we all talk in discord anyways so i didn’t really think about it
plus you guys are friends irl so idk
it felt kinda weird to insert myself heh
minho: we’ve known you for a year and a half y/n
we play games all the time
call all the time
we even send packages and shit
you’re very much considered our irl friend
y/n: REALLY?? 🥺🥺
tommy: internet friends are real friends 😍❤️
minho: the heart eyes are crazy
but yes dude
newt: of course you’re our close friend. just cuz we live near each other and you’re a bit far away doesn’t mean we don’t adore you
minho: ADORE IS CRAZY LMFAO
but real ig
y/n: AWWWWW YOU GUYS LOVEEE MEEEEEE
hahahahha
HAHAHHAHJFIEKMGOR
I LVOE YOU GIYYYYSSSS IM PUTTING ALL OUR MINECRAFT BEDS TOGETHER LATER
gally: i do not want my bed to be infested by you guys
minho: gally sleeps in the corner
gally: no i dont i sleep in my mansion
y/n: cherry blossom mansion*
gally: and you sleep in a shed
y/n: cherry blossom shed* its pink and that matters.
tommy: love you y/n 😊🥰
y/n: love you tommy <3333
minho: that’s actually nasty stop now
y/n: u mad ur unloved
i love how the gc name is our minecraft town name :((
newt: aw it is
minho: can we talk about why tf this was made when we have a perfectly good discord
alby: I’m done with Discord.
newt: you got your shit hacked didn’t you mate
minho: mate 💀💀
british people so crazy
alby: Yes maybe..
I don’t want to make another.
y/n: or your old ass doesn’t know how to
minho: LMAO REAL
alby: Gonna ignore that. But I am getting too old for it. I have a new promotion at work so that means I won’t have time to play with you guys as much anymore. So I decided to make this groupchat in hopes to talk to you guys more to make up for it :)
minho: every group always has the old head with the job 💀💀
newt: minho admitting he’s jobless
minho: you work at a library be so fr rn
newt: i have an income. you have a room in your grandmas basement. we are not the same.
gally: LMFAOOOOOOO
minho: stfu :////
y/n: AWWWWWWW ALBYYYYYYY
tommy: YAAAY!!!!
im going to text you guys all day
tell you every meal
every thought
every interaction will be meaningful and glorious
newt: you are 24 years old you don’t have to do all that
minho: no fr im turning off my phone if he starts this shit
why not just do it before in the discord ??
tommy: easy access now and i tried before but stopped since no one really replied..
y/n: i say we all do it :D i will too tommy
newt: ok second thought that’s fine
minho: .
gally: that’s wild.
y/n: YAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!! NEWT YOU GO FIRST
newt: first with what
y/n: say what u ate today
newt: didn’t say i’d do it.
tommy: i ate muffin, monster energy drink, and hamburger :3333
you guys next
minho: that’s all you had bro..
y/n: hot cheetos and french fries and coffee :D
minho: ??????? BRO
how are you guys alive
y/n: it's my day off and no class so i just wanna rot in bed and that means no cooking
newt: please eat and drink water.
like for real and document it
y/n: ok wait
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there
tommy: yum!
minho: y/n..
newt: cereal does not count
y/n: I DONT HAVE ENERGY TO MAKE ANYTHING OKAY
im a 23 year old broke college student my fridge is bare
newt: alright what do you want?
y/n: wym?
newt: like if you could pick.
minho: that’s so cruel 😭😭 just making her imagine it
i like it go on.
tommy: i want chick fil a
minho: i knew you hate the gays
tommy: I AM THE GAYS?????
y/n: ugh that does sound good
mmmm chickem sandiwh waffle fry I Want that Os mYch
newt: that’s what you would order?
y/n: mmmcm yeahshhhhh
newt: ok
minho: that’s it?
i thought soemthing would happen
tommy: me too
like a spell! magic 🪄
y/n: sigh
my cereal tastes bad now
newt: well it is cocoa puffs.
minho: L cereal
y/n: DTOP SAYING L ITS SO ANNOYITIGJNGGGGG
minho: she so madddd 😂😂 L
newt: you're annoying minho
minho: youre just saying that bc shes saying that
newt: no ive always said it. and i will continue to. youre fucking annoying
minho: who bought you your coffee yesterday
newt: ???
myself
and i paid for yours too
im the one with an income
minho: .
well i didnt think youd remember that well.
newt: it was literally yesterday.
minho: yeah but ur old
newt: IM THE SAME AGE AS YOU
minho: yeah but im 🤗✨ 26 ✨🤗and youre... 26😬😔
tommy: guys stop fighting
newt: we aren't fighting
maybe this gc was a bad idea
tommy: NO!!!!!!!!!
y/n: NOOOO!
tommy: this is like y/n is here w us irl
y/n: awwwwwwwwwwwwwww
minho: no it's not. we would smell a foul stench if she was
y/n: i ahte you sooo bad.
wait there is a knock at my door im scared
newt: answer it
minho: aren't you supposed to say don't open the door for strangers ????
newt: well usually yes
y/n: no im not expecting company
newt: just do it pls
y/n: ok :D
minho: bruh..
i hope she gets robbed and u feel bad forever newt
newt: why would you want that
minho: bc she owes me money
newt: YOU owe ME money
minho: yes but i have a good reason she just wanted robux
tommy: Y/N DONT DO IT!!! I HAVE SEEN DATELINE
y/n: :o....
tommy: Y/N?????????
OH GOD THEY GOT HER
minho: why would she text a silly face if she got got
tommy: clearly its a surprised face
maybe its not her
its like those cut out magazine letters murderers use
y/n: who got me chick fil a!!!!!!!!!!
minho: me
newt: you literally did not
minho: shut up
y/n: newt it was u i see ur name on the receipt
newt: well
y/n: :(
newt: what why are you sad?
minho: im hungry too
y/n: u spent ur money :(
newt: you're hungry are you not?
minho: she's not but i am
y/n: yeah but..
i feel bad you shouldn't have
newt: just eat it or i'll be mad
minho: i think i want red lobster
newt: it's really no big deal y/n
y/n: thank you newt :(((((
newt: you're welcome
go eat and watch ur show or smth
minho: i owuld love to eat and watch a show rn <33 ohhhh im starving
newt: can you shut up
gally: im muting this gc if this means i have to deal with your guys' shit more than usual now.
minho: thank god
newt: good
tommy: good
y/n: good
the food is good too <3
newt: good.
_
lmk if you want to be tagged!
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morvantmortuary · 11 months
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okay so my buddy @somethingthatsaysbubbles has been nice enough to tag me in six sentence sundays twice now and I keep! forgetting!! so this is me doing two to make up for it lmao
both under the cut so I don’t crowd dashes bc lmao of course I wasn’t just going to post six sentences, are you kidding me?
and bc of some very slight nsft in the last one
no-pressure tagging some friends in the meantime! @rosemaremembrance @maximoffwxnda @bigtiddythanos @illegalcerebral @lightinthedarkuniverse/ @jmathesonandsiblings @pondering-and-wondering @lorna-d-m @scuttle-buttle @eldritchcircus @somethingthatsaysbubbles @ebiemidnightlibrarian @norabrice1701 and anyone else feeling up to it!
I. conversations at the cemetery line -
Leon chuckled. “Well, who else is there, champ? Your brother,” he said quietly. “We all heard he’s a scrapper, when he needs to be. But it’s been a while, and his daddy ain’t around to beg anyone to go easy on him anymore.”
“First of all, Hex is my cousin, and second of all, he can hold his own just fine,” Maxi snapped, his eyes red as a fresh wound.
“Sure, sure. But can the Belle of the Ball?” Leon asked, tilting his head with a smile showing too-long teeth. “Word is she’s up giving pretty boy a run for his money still. That would mean she’s fair game, too.”
“Ask your employers,” Maxi said flatly. “She ruined their whole party, you were there.”
“You Lifers, you really let being born into this make you think you know shit about shit.” Leon closed the distance between them so they were eye to eye, what little gray there was seeming to drain from his irises and pupil to leave only a ghastly white. “Did you really think you all could get out of this unscathed, boy?” His voice changed drastically, like gravel had scraped his vocal chords. “Show them up in their own house and go home to laugh about it?”
“Who’s laughin’?” Maxi said, his voice lowering to near a growl of his own.
“You’re gonna get yourselves killed, kid. Did you really think They’ll stop at just you? You think they won’t come for that little friend of yours once they chew through your family line? That they won’t come for everyone who ever laid eyes on you, and everyone you ever called a friend? They make ghost towns. I’ve seen ‘em do it.”
II. an indecent proposal --
Silence stretched like skin over an abscess, tight and uncomfortable. Maxi and Rora met each other’s eyes, before he and Hector seemed to have a long, oddly tense shared stare. Finally, when something between them was wordlessly settled, they both looked back to Rora.
Rora paused, her glass halfway to her mouth again. “…What. Why’re y’all lookin’ at me.” She looked between the two of them, irritated now. “Why am I the one makin’ the call?”
“It was your suggestion,” Maxi drawled, with not a small bit of snark. “Figured it’s only fair.”
“Plus you’re the one who knew what moon we needed,” Hex added. “And all that stuff.”
“Because it’s common sense, if you thought about it for even a half a second,” Rora sighed, putting her glass down to pinch the bridge of her nose. “And if either of you ever bothered to study—“
“I didn’t!” Hector said, throwing his hands in the air. “I didn’t, we both know I didn’t, why do you keep talking to me like I’m suddenly gonna wake up and want to memorize all the esoteric bullshit our dads never made me learn!”
“Because if you want the title at all, and don’t want to be an embarrassment to the entire lineage,” Rora turned to Hector, sounding like she was revving up on an ongoing argument. “You need to know your shit outside just ‘Ghost go poof’.”
“You know what, puta,” Hector turned, pointing an accusing finger at her. “You always wanna talk shit about the Veil, but you’re just mad you could never—“
“Oh puh-lease, Hector, tell me what I don’t know about the goddamn Veil, since I’m the one that’s actually been there—“
“Jesus Christ, not this again,” Maxi sighed, rubbing his temples. “Y’all, leave it alone, c’mon.“
“Butt out, Maxi, you abdicated.” Rora glared at her brother.
“Yeah, no one asked,” Hector agreed over Rora’s shoulder.
Maxi’s hands fell to the kitchen table, eyes dark. “That don’t mean I can’t fuse both y’all’s lips closed right now—“
You weren’t sure if it was the tequila that made you knock twice on the table, or made you ask, loudly: “Are you guys fucking me tonight or what?”
--
and now I’m just gonna leave these here :3 thanks for thinking of me, linds!
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p0is0ngirlfriend · 3 years
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>:(
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rafescoke · 3 years
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Brother’s Best Friend ; Rafe Cameron
masterlist
Request: heyy I’ve recently found your account and I just felt in love with the way you write and with your works so I was wondering if you could write a fic where the reader is Kelce’s sister, she’s sitting alone at home and suddenly she hears a doorbell ringing, she comes to open the door and that’s Rafe and she says something like “Kelce’s not home” or smth like that and Rafe answers “I actually came to see you” or smth like that. It can be smut or fluff or whatever I don’t really care. Sorry if this is chaotic but I just want the reader to be black and I have bad ideas lmao 😭 sending love ❤️❤️
Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader
Summary: Fooling around with your best friend's sister is not a good sign, especially when it involves something more than skinny dipping and drinking alcohol together.
Warnings: Slight smut, mentions of drinking, slight angst, teasing Rafe Cameron
A/N: I'm so close to 700 followers wtf y'all are truly amazing ily! I'm finishing all requests in my inbox for the new few days; thank you to those who put their trust in me to write their ideas <33
(Y/N) could never deny the attraction she felt towards a certain brunette boy with that charming smile.
The feeling evolved for the first time when he came over to her house to see Kelce. He was so polite to her; giving her a turn on passing the ball and scolding Kelce and Topper for not wanting to give her a chance at playing basketball in the swimming pool.
But she was only 8 back then, and she regarded the feeling as nothing more than a silly crush.
Rafe Cameron changed when he entered high school. (Y/N) couldn't explain what was wrong, but he was not her Rafe anymore. He didn't hold the door for her, scold Kelce for making fun of her or do anything that used to make her heart soar.
Her thoughts were disrupted when a fresh blue towel hit her squarely on the face, causing her to yelp in shock.
"Do you wanna come down to the lake with us?"
(Y/N) rolled her eyes, pulling the towel to her side, and closed her magazine with a snap. Her eyes fell back to the three guys, lingering on the tallest one a little bit too long.
She cleared her throat, "No, I'm tired."
Kelce shrugged, walking towards the entrance of their home from the swimming pool. He didn't feel like having (Y/N) around anyways, because that would mean he would have to protect her from his friends.
Kelce loved his friends, of course, but he also knew the other side of them that uses girls like Kleenex tissue only to throw them away again.
"On a second thought-" (Y/N) said, stopping the three boys from entering the big house. "I think I'll go."
"You sure?" Kelce asked. God. Now he would have to play the big-brother stimulator for the whole night.
The night sky was dark, and the only light came from the moonlight up above and sometimes from the flashlight of each other's phone. Boozes laid messily on the wooden deck and their clothes were discarded all over the place.
Not one person was sober, and they were all laughing to a joke by Topper.
"Okay, okay, last one-" Topper said excitedly. He shivered, and (Y/N) thought about it as a response towards the cold lake water or the excited nerves of sharing another stupid joke. "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"Easy. To get to the other side," Rafe answered proudly. A beer drop slid down from his lips to his chin, and (Y/N) felt a strong desire to lick it.
"Wrong."
"Okay, fine, I don't know."
Topper smiled widely, and (Y/N) could see this joke coming from a few miles away. "To get to the loser's house. Knock knock."
Rafe pulled a face, his eyebrows raised. "Who's there?"
"The chicken."
Kelce and Topper's laugh filled the silence around them, and (Y/N) found herself slightly smiling at the joke. Rafe groaned, finally understanding the joke and being angry at himself for willingly taking the bait.
"Okay, okay. The joke's over."
Kelce laughed again before taking a full swig of another beer bottle. He stared at the sky, and let out a loud huff.
"Wish we can go up there."
"Me too, man," Topper agreed. He joined Kelce by staring up at the dark sky, both clearly high out of their minds.
"Do you want to?"
(Y/N) looked to her side, not noticing Rafe who had moved from his previous position near Topper to beside her. She quirked her head to one side, her face questioning.
"Go up to the sky," he explained. He watched as she looked up to the sky, her mouth slightly parting. Her chest heaved peacefully, and her wet body donning the lilac bikini never looked so beautiful and perfect.
"Nah. I'm too scared."
"Even when I'll go with you?" he smiled. (Y/N) rolled her eyes, though her heart was soaring brightly; she would never feel scared anymore if he were to be around her all the time.
"Yeah. Even when you’ll go with me. Besides, it's not possible."
"Let people enjoy things," he said, and he was so close to her now because she could smell the coffee mint from his breath. Her heart was beating wildly, though this would be the ten-thousandth time he did this to her.
It never failed to leave her completely breathless.
"You're drooling," he whispered, and used his thumb to wipe her wet lips from the beer. Her breath hitched, and she couldn't utter any words back. She was too mesmerised with the whole situation.
His fingers stopped at her chin, looking into her eyes, and he was petrified too. He leaned in, but before anything could happen, (Y/N) moved away. He cleared his throat, and swam back to the deck.
‘I’m drunk’ was repeated by him all the way to the the place he threw his clothes off, shaking his head at the thought that he was so close to kissing her. He looked back to her direction in the lake, still staring at him. He focused back on the ties of his shorts, and made his way back to the Kelce’s house.
He ignored his best friends calls.
. . .
(Y/N) never really liked school, but she loved the after-activity that she got herself in.
Like cheerleading.
She used to think of the sport as something quirky, but in truth, once she was accepted into the school’s cheerleading team, she had never been more into a sport than before.
She walked down the field to the other side of the track where the other girls were waiting for her. Her training skirt flew slightly from the wind, and she was trying to hold them down all while carrying the water bottle and a duffle bag.
She exchanged a few greetings with her other friends, putting down her duffle bag and her water bottle. The sun was scorching hot, and all she felt like was eating ice cream inside of their boat whilst streaming down the lake, but the last time she had ditched cheer practice, it hadn’t ended well.
“Uh-oh,” someone exclaimed behind her. “Big bro is coming.”
(Y/N) looked up to the field, and sure enough Kelce was running towards her in his jersey. (Y/N) sighed, not knowing what she did now that could earn her a lecture from Kelce.
“Hey, I’m bringing a girl home after practice,” he said. “Would you mind getting a ride with someone else?”
She groaned, “Fuck, Kelce, no. You can tell your new scandal to fuck off because I am not getting an Uber to walk back to home.”
“Look, please? You can ask your friends to give you a ride, right? It’s important,” he begged. His eyes were scanning her friends now, obviously trying to find someone who could help his sister, and when he found one, his smile quirked upwards. “Yo, Sarah! Can you drive (Y/N) home after practice?”
Sarah walked towards them, her blonde hair up in a ponytail. She slung her arms around (Y/N)’s shoulders, noting the exasperated expression on her face, and gave Kelce a glare.
“You should let her drive a car if you’re going to bring a girl home after school,” she said. Kelce groaned, knowing the amount of shit he will be getting from the people around him, but he was truly trying to make it right for this new girl.
“Look, I’ll buy y’all anything for a week. Food? Sure. Clothes? Sure.”
Sarah clapped her hands, seemingly excited, and forced (Y/N) to say yes. She wouldn’t mind driving (Y/N) home, because she wanted to catch up with her about some gossip too.
“Fine. But I’m driving my own car tomorrow.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” was all he said before he jogged down to the soccer team.
That evening was hell to (Y/N). She couldn’t get the formation right, the sun was getting hotter and hotter, her hair was sticking out weirdly, and worst of all, she couldn’t stop thinking about yesterday’s event.
He was so, so close to her.
“(Y/N), come on! What’s gotten into you? The top part, again!” The coach yelled, slapping her hands against her lap. There were sweat forming on her forehead, and she was obviously hot and bothered from this whole situation.
But sport was sport. The coach wasn’t going to let today’s training to waste, and she intended for the new number to work.
(Y/N) muttered a soft ‘sorry’ before going back to her position, her heart still thumping at the thought. The cheer started, and her mouth was saying the words, but her brain was somewhere else.
The two guys by her side picked her up by her calf, and she felt the wind gushing out from beside her ears. She was high up in the sky now, throwing one arm upwards and balancing herself on one leg, and it was finally time now, to twirl into the two boys’ arms, but she wasn’t ready. Her mouth didn’t utter any words from the cheer, too focused on the step, and before she could jump back into their arms, she felt herself slipping.
“(Y/N)!” The coach yelled, running towards her by the track. Sarah and the other teammates were surrounding her now, watching as she groaned on the ground painfully, holding onto her arms.
“Okay, I take that as the end of today’s training,” the coach said, sighing. “(Y/N), are you okay? Can you walk?”
(Y/N) held her thumbs up, because she had worse injury than this before. Hell, the boxing fight she used to have with Kelce in their childhood was more painful. She sat up from the track, feeling the heat of the ground burning on her bottoms, and stretched her fingers. The pain coursed through her veins at the feeling, but kinda liked it.
“Come on, let’s get you home,” Sarah said, helping her up. She groaned when she finally stood on her two feet, feeling so painful all she wanted to do was lay back on the track, but she knew she had to go home.
She allowed Sarah helping her limp towards a black Mercedes, her eyes closed the whole time.
Okay, scratch the fight with Kelce. This one was more painful than ever.
“Can I stay at your house?” She blurted when Sarah drove out of the school gate. “I don’t feel like listening to my mom’s lecture about my leg.”
Sarah glanced at her from the rearview mirror, watching as she spread her leg out the whole backseat. The ice bag someone had gotten her was pressed against her calf, and she was sweating from the heat and trying to contain the pain.
“Yes, of course, that would be better,” Sarah said. She had other plans that evening, but helping (Y/N) overstepped all of them.
“So what’s up with you and John B?”
Sarah turned to look at her fully on her face, furrowing her eyebrows. “What do you know about John B?”
(Y/N) laughed, “The light’s green.” Just on cue, the car behind them horned at Sarah, and she quickly pushed on the pedal.
“How do you know about John B?” Sarah asked, biting her lips. If (Y/N) could find out, she couldn’t imagine what would Rafe do if he finds out.
“God, don’t be worried. I’m not going to tell anyone about this, okay? Just relax. I think it’s cute.”
Sarah’s worried expression softened, “You think so?”
“Yeah. At least you got to be with whoever you want. Some people can’t have that.”
Like her. Kelce would kill her and dump her body in the ocean for the sharks if he ever finds out how much she likes Rafe.
“You’ll find the one soon. How about that guy in your maths class?” The car turned to the right, nearing the destination.
“No. I’m not looking for anyone.”
There’s only one, but Sarah won’t like the answer.
The time was 8.23p.m. now, and (Y/N) had been in Sarah’s room for a total of 3 hours. After catching up on new gossips, watched a movie, did her English essay, she felt extremely dehydrated.
Sarah was sleeping peacefully beside her, being so tired after the practice and school, and (Y/N) didn’t feel like waking her up. She have been to The Camerons household, but that was only for Sarah’s birthday party a few years back.
She sighed, getting up from the bed to find the kitchen. The house was like a maze, and she wished they had some kind of a map to browse through.
Alas, she found the kitchen, her muscles screaming from all the wrong turns she took before. She knew where the plastic cups and plates were situated, having to help Sarah get them during her birthday party, so she didn’t have any trouble getting some.
She drank the cold water quickly, feeling the liquid sloshing down her throat. The feeling was so, so good that she wished she could go through it again.
“I do not know where your sister is, Kelce,” a voice sighed not far from the kitchen. “I told you you shouldn’t bring that girl home and just drive (Y/N) home yourself.”
The voice, unmistakably Rafe, was getting nearer and nearer. (Y/N)’s eyes widened, trying to find an empty space to hide in, but there were none. She panicked, still looking for a way out that she didn’t notice the tall figure behind her.
“Oh. Found you.”
His hair was dishevelled and wet, his chest heaving and he was shirtless.
What a nice way to bump onto each other.
“Take a picture,” he started, shutting his phone off and placing them in his shorts. “It’ll last longer that way.”
Now we’re talking about the new Rafe.
(Y/N) scoffed, pushing him away and making a disgusted face at his sweat sticking on her arms. “I’m here for Sarah.”
“Why? Did she die or something?”
God. He really is insufferable.
She made to push him away to return to Sarah’s room, only for him to grab her by her waist.
“Move.” Her tone was stern, but her stomach was flipping wildly. She tried to not look so bothered, but failed miserably.
Rafe seemed to notice her behaviour because he didn’t let go of her. “Come on, where’s the fun in that?”
She was on the same level as his neck now, and he could still smell his expensive cologne even after he swam in the swimming pool. She sighed, placing her hands against his chest.
“Move.”
Rafe laughed, putting his hands up in defeat, and went to grab the same glass she was drinking from. He refilled the glass and downed the content, and (Y/N) had to look away from the innocent move.
Maybe he was just saving water by not using a different cup.
“Do you need help to return to Sarah’s room or something?”
“No, I’m fine,” she refused, and made sure he could see her fake annoyed expression before she returned to the hall she came from. But there were 2 halls now, and she completely forgot which one she had been before.
“Really?” Rafe stood beside her, and she looked up to his amused face. “Because you’re in the wrong hall. It’s the other exit of the kitchen, darling.”
. . .
Why couldn’t she not see his face every single day?
It was truly troubling her, to see that boy everyday, because she couldn’t think properly every time.
The lights from the stadium blared widely, and the deafening screaming coming from both teams’ supporters rang throughout the whole field. (Y/N) was sure the whole island could hear them too.
Two things happened earlier than evening. Number one, her skirt wasn’t completely dried after being sent off to the laundry for a week, and her hair wasn’t just cooperating.
So here she was; in a shorter uniform skirt, her hair hung up into a ponytail with lots of hairspray. She wished for nothing but to be all cuddled up with her blanket in her room.
“You’re okay?” Sarah asked. She fixed (Y/N)’s lips gently, getting the lipstick and lipliner even, and gave her a kiss on the cheeks. “Don’t worry about the skirt. It looks normal.”
For a little girl.
(Y/N) sighed and involuntarily pulled down the hem of her skirt. Ten minutes from the game now, and she was nervous she would flash everyone on the school compound.
In the locker room, Rafe was sitting right next to Kelce as his best friend prayed for a win tonight. He was never that religious, and he didn’t feel the need to mutter a prayer to anyone. But tonight, he listened intently to whatever Kelce was saying because he needed to win this cup more than anything in the world.
“You’re okay?” The coach asked, patting him on the shoulder.
“Yeah. Just nervous.”
“Don’t be, you’re the Star Player. Right?”
The Star Player.
Rafe gave him a smile, and went back to his praying.
When he first entered the field to meet the rival team, his eyes couldn’t help but scanned the bleachers to find his dad. Ward wasn’t there, but Rose and Wheezie were cheering for him.
Of course.
He sighed, and went straight to the middle of the field. It’s funny how everyone was there to support him, Rafe, the Star Player, the jock, the whatever else people were saying about him.
He just wanted Ward to see him.
“Come on, man, it’s fine,” Topper said, patting his back. “He’ll come later.”
Even his friends could see how miserable he was feeling.
The first match of the game went smoothly; he scored a try goal, everyone was cheering loudly, but it was just then that one of the opponents came knocking Rafe by his side.
Rafe fell to the ground with a loud thud, earning so many gasps from the stand.
“What the fuck?!” Topper pushed whoever responsible for his fall, and the sound of a whistle rang throughout the air. “He pushed him for nothing! You saw it, fuck!”
Rafe groaned on the ground, clutching onto his arms, and he tried to spread his fingers, but couldn’t. His other teammates were surrounding him now, trying to get a good look of him, all while Topper and Kelce and another friend of his went off to the referee.
Rafe put his other hand up, trying to sit up. “I’m fine, I’m fine! Move!”
The other members scattered away, sighing in relief when Rafe came back to his legs. The referee, still getting yelled at by Topper, shook his head at something he said, and before anyone could process what happened, Topper tackled the opponent who had pushed Rafe down to the ground.
Kelce pulled Topper away after a few long seconds, telling him to stop. But one thing about Topper is that he just won’t stop.
“Stupid fuck!” He yelled, throwing another punch.
“Topper, stop, they’re going to throw you off the field!” Kelce yelled. Finally, he separated them away after the opponent’s friend pulled his injured friend away.
The referee, expectedly, pulled a red card to Topper, earning a groan coming from their coach and the stand. Rafe cursed, knowing that Topper’s one of their strongest member. He watched as Topper tried to argue with the referee, but it was no use.
“It’s okay,” Kelce said, patting his back as he made his way back to the bench. “Relax, bro, okay?” Topper calmed down after the coach said something to him, but Rafe could clearly see the distress written on his face.
“You’re okay?” Kelce asked, pointing to his arms.
Rafe could move his muscles now though he could feel the sharp pain from doing so. But he was too content on winning this game.
(Y/N) watched as the second match unfold, her teeth biting into her lips in fear. She didn’t feel like having the next week full of gloomy students and disappointed teachers, so she wanted the cup as much as everyone else.
Rafe was fast, throwing the ball smoothly back and forth with Kelce and his other friends, but it was apparent that the Star Player wasn’t feeling like himself.
It might be the arm, or the fact that Ward Cameron was too busy with his work to see his son playing.
37 minutes had passed, and the other team was leading. They only had 3 minutes left, and with the team being so drained out and their captain with a broken arm, it was clear who was winning.
The whistle blared through the field again, noting the end of the match. As the other team supporters cheered happily the other side of the stands muttered silently to each other about the game.
(Y/N) watched as Rafe yelled something at his teammates angrily before storming off to the locker room. He winced in pain, holding his arm for support, and ignored every calls from his friends as he made his way to the empty room.
Looking around quickly, she muttered a ‘be right back’ to Sarah, and quickly followed Rafe into the locker room. She wanted to see if he was okay, and if he needed help with his arm.
In truth, she just wanted to be there for him.
“Hey,” she slowly said, and Rafe’s head perked up to see her before he looked down to the ground again.
“What do you want?”
She felt a struck of pain across her heart at his tone, but decided against it. “Are you okay?”
“Fine. You’re not supposed to be here.”
“I was just trying to see if you need anything,” she said, and when his eyes finally looked up to her again, she unconsciously pulled her skirt down again.
“Yeah? I don’t need anything. Go!”
“Wow, you’re a dick,” she scoffed, and before Rafe could mutter anything back, she exited the locker room and straight to the cheer team. She felt a mixture of anger and embarrassment all at once, because God, Rafe Cameron did not just yell at her for trying to be nice.
She should’ve known better than to be ‘nice’ to him. He wasn’t the same 8 year old she met 10 years ago.
. . .
A week had passed from the game, and everything went back to normal.
Except for one person.
Rafe didn’t come to school the next Monday, not that (Y/N) wanted to see him after getting yelled at, but she couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.
He didn’t just broke his arm; his father also chose not to attend his game.
It was finally Friday, and (Y/N) was too happy to stay home and continue watching Love Island. Life is better when you are focused on someone else’s relationship other than yours.
She was rolling in her bed, casually smiling at the cheesy joke made by one of the contestant, and before she could hear the reply towards the joke, the doorbell blared throughout the house.
(Y/N) groaned, thinking how Kelce must’ve forgotten his keys again, and waited a few more minutes so that he would just leave her alone and go to that stupid prick, Rafe Cameron’s house.
But the doorbell rang again, and she had no choice but to open the door. She was all alone in the big house, having both her parents still working and her maids having the day off.
But when she opened the door, the boy standing before her was the last person she wanted to see.
“Hi,” Rafe said.
“Kelce’s not here,” she mumbled, and pushed the door close. Rafe’s quickly put his hands to block the door from closing, and (Y/N) pulled away after deciding not to crush his other only working hands.
“What?” She asked, in the same tone that he had given her in the locker room. She felt good when his eyebrows were raised.
“I’m here for you.”
“Why? Did I die or something?” Bingo.
“God, you’re impossible,” Rafe sighed. “Can I talk to you? Just us two?”
(Y/N) sighed, wanting to get this done, and opened the door wider to grant him into her home. (Y/N) closed the door and pressed her back against it, crossing her arms.
“Okay. Talk.”
“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” He said. “I was just so angry with everything. I was pushed and Topper received a red card because of me—”
“You didn’t do anything, Rafe.”
“Yeah, but he was just trying to protect me. And, and I was just so mad at myself because I couldn’t play properly like I usually play. I’m so sorry for yelling at you. I didn’t mean it.”
(Y/N) sighed, “It’s okay. I’m over it.”
“Really?” He stepped closer, and this time, (Y/N) allowed him. “Thank you so much!”
He pulled her into a crushing hug, and before she could put her mind into it, he lifted her up and spin her around.
“Okay, okay, now you’re just pushing it,” she groaned, hitting him on his chest. “Put me down, Rafe, I swear to god.”
Rafe put her down, his face shining happily. They were close again, like that time in the lake, and (Y/N) didn’t feel like pushing him away again.
Because maybe, that 8 year old him was somewhere in there.
“Uh—” he looked away, scratching the back of his head. “Do you wanna. . . watch Netflix?”
(Y/N) cleared her throat, “I was watching Love Island. Wanna watch with me?”
Rafe nodded, anything to get closer with this girl, and followed her upstairs to her room. The first time he entered her room was 9 years ago, and it was only because Topper and Kelce had pranked him into thinking that her room was the gaming room.
“What are you doing?” The girl before him yelled, and before he could explain how he was lied to, she threw a pink hairbrush at him. He groaned from the pain, rubbing his head.
“I’m sorry, I thought this was the gaming room!”
“Out!” She yelled, and he quickly obliged.
Her room was still pink, but it was now filled with so many books, clothes and makeups instead of the dollhouse and toys he saw a few years ago.
“Is this the pink hairbrush you threw at me?” He laughed, holding the pink tool. (Y/N) snatched the hairbrush, embarrassed, and quickly stuffed them into the drawers.
He placed himself beside her on her bed, watching her as she resumed the video. He focused on the show, trying to find at least something interesting from the show, but there was nothing.
2 episodes later, he was too into the show that he pressed on the stop button before they could continue on the next episode.
“I wish they would just communicate,” he said. “Like the whole show’s pointless. They didn’t try to talk to each other about their problems.”
“Yeah, that’s what makes the show interesting, Rafe,” she said as if that was a fact, “And besides, if they communicate, everyone will win the show.”
“Then that’s just good. A win-win situation.”
“You don’t get it,” she groaned, looking into his face. “There’s no use in fighting with you about this.”
She pressed on the resume button again, and instantly, Rafe pressed on the stop button.
“Rafe, I will—”
“You still haven’t apologised for throwing the hairbrush at me.”
She widened her eyes, “That was 9 years ago.”
“And?”
“Fine,” she placed her laptop aside, and turned to fully look him in the face. “Sorry.”
“Not sincere enough.”
She groaned, “Rafe, I am terribly sorry for throwing my pink hairbrush at you. I am so sorry that it hit your face and be the reason why you’re still holding vengeance at someone.”
“I’m not talking about that kind of sorry.”
“Fuck, you’re annoying,” she said. “I’m not going to bow down to you or anything.”
“Just a kiss.”
She looked at him back, her heart stopping at his words. “No.”
“Why?”
“Why? Because you’re Rafe?”
“Rafe? Okay, fine. I’m not Rafe. I’m Rafael.”
“Okay, it’s still a no. You’re Kelce’s best friend.”
“Didn’t you kiss Topper last year?”
“That was a dare—” she sighed. “And it didn’t mean anything.”
“Exactly. This won’t mean anything. This is just a sorry.”
It would mean everything to her to place her lips against his.
“This is sexual harassment.”
“Not if you want it too,” he said, and leaned closer to her. “And you do want it, right? I can see it in your eyes.”
She didn’t know why God would put her and Rafe in this damn position over and over again, because it wasn’t helping her to get over him.
She looked down to his lips, and how it was so inviting, and she wanted more than anything to kiss him, to finally give herself to him, but she was afraid.
“Rafe—”
“Shut up,” he cut her off, and pressed himself against her. Their kiss was slow and passionate, none like neither (Y/N) or Rafe had experienced before. Her hands found themselves wrapping around Rafe’s neck, pulling him closer.
He pulled away, grinning. “I thought you didn’t want this.”
“Shut up.” She rolled her eyes, and pulled him in for another kiss again.
He pushed her down onto the bed gently, still kissing her, and his hands were roaming down her body. She was so, so perfect and every time he saw her, he would have to look away to stop the unwanted thoughts forming in his head.
During the game last Friday, he had to pinch himself from staring at her legs in that goddamn skirt for too long.
“Fuck, you’re perfect,” he whispered, and she hummed in response before pushing him over so she could take control. She sat on top of him, grinning widely. She was in heaven; seeing him all worked up under her with his chest heaving.
“You would be surprised at the amount of times I imagined myself on top of you like this,” she said, placing her hands flat on top of his chest.
Rafe grinned back, trying to contain his feelings. “Yeah? Wanna show what else you’ve been imagining?”
She leaned closer, making sure to brush her bottom against him and hearing his soft groans. She placed a soft kiss against his cheek, and whispered into his ear.
“Would rather have you show what you’ve been dreaming of me.”
Rafe licked his lips, loving this side of her, and he wanted more than anything to make her his. She looked so innocent sitting there on top of him, smiling and biting her lips.
Before he could touch her in ways he never did to a girl before, a voice rang from outside the room.
“(Y/N)? Have you seen Rafe? I saw his car outside,” the voice said. After a few seconds of silence, he sighed. “You’re okay? I’m coming in, okay?”
“No, no, wait!” (Y/N) shouted, scrambling from her position on top of Rafe as he quickly pulled her up, but it was too late.
Kelce saw them in the midst of trying to get away, with his sister’s leg on one side of his best friend and his best friend’s hands still around his sister’s waist.
“What. The. Fuck.”
-
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Text
dire ii, m | jjk
pairing(s): jungkook x reader
summary: The only way that this can be summarized is: "Does your horniness outweigh common sense once again?" And, well, when the female Dire Wolf does that weird pheromone thing, Jeon Jungkook just can’t say no. 
warnings: rated M (18+) for language, world building, eating raw meat; mentions of (species) discrimination and prejudice; violence; smut (fem reader, still too much m-masturbation, thigh fucking, unprotected sex (ty biology), creampie, cockwarming, biting/marking, cowgirl, saliva everywhere lol); non-idol!AU - werewolfAU / soulmates?; werewolf!reader x blond, human!Jungkook; switches between Jungkook’s POV and your POV; is JK a furry? you decide
this is long because smut lmao (but also fluff) yes, I break the fourth wall, it just fit haha inspired by YOASOBI - 怪物 (Kaibutsu)
part i
-
"Stop jacking off!"
He heard the vicious snarl the second the window opened but he didn't stop. 
"Hasn't your dick fallen off yet, you animal–"
"It's been a whole fucking month," Jungkook gritted out, throwing his head back into his pillows as he continued stroking himself. "The fuck is wrong with you?"
"With me?" came the disbelieving huff at the foot of his bed. "I'm a busy woman. I'm not like you, masturbating every five seconds," she barked. 
He brought his head back and glared down on her. Completely froze. Even his hand on his cock slowed. 
She was frowning at him at the base of his bed, wearing a torn up black hoodie. It had huge slashes in it across the chest and shoulders, barely holding on. He could see white scars crisscrossed on her skin underneath, a tight black sports bra on her upper torso. She wasn't wearing her usual black face mask. High waisted black pants, with straps on the sides that cinched them in.
"What happened?" He shot up out of the bed, covers a mess, surrounded by too many wadded up tissues.
"Nothing happened," she scowled, looking around him with exasperation. 
"But your clothes–"
"I changed form to get here faster," she said dismissively, grabbing the bottom of the hoodie and yanking it up and over her head. 
"Why is it only your hood–"
"Because I was holding my other clothes but I can’t be fully naked out in public, obviously," she cut him off as if it was the most logical thing in the world. 
"Wait, so you're naked in wolf form?"
"Why the fuck would I be wearing clothes?"
She was crawling on the bed and Jungkook's brain was barely functioning, body jumping involuntarily as she neared. She batted away the dirty tissues, gold-streaked eyes narrowed, a large heavy pendant hanging off her neck – was that diamond? with a platinum plum flower pressed in the center?? how the fuck??? – on a thick silver chain. The chain not only held the pendant, but also her rings. The wolf with the opal eyes. The simple silver band. The skull with the snake. The FEED ring. The large opal gem inlaid in stars. The black stone with a bone pressed into it. And now two more – a twisted silver band and a snake head with black gems for eyes.
"You have more rings," he breathed.
"Yes," she growled. "I said it's been a busy month."
Her fluffy silvery ears stuck straight up, bushy tail swaying. She had a lean, fit body, somehow pure power despite being smaller in physique. She came right up to him, nose to nose, breathing heavily into his face. 
"Look here, Jungkook," she growled. "I understand you're a very horny human, but I have things to do, and you distracting me with your three in the morning jack off sessions is not helping nor is it the way you attract a mate, do you understand?”
He didn’t try to be innocent about it.
"Yeah, but did you think about me though?" Jungkook breathed, letting it mix with hers. 
The gold in her eyes seemed to intensify. 
"Of course, I did," she whispered hotly. "All the fucking time, but I have shit to do, like explain to my father that you're not just a piece of side ass."
"You never gave me the chance to be a piece of side ass." Ugh, she was so close. Fuck, she smelled so good. He couldn't even describe it. "I might have liked it."
She huffed. "You would have. You would have loved it, you horny human, but I don't take sex slaves like the other Dire."
"So, it does exist?" he blurted, eyes widening. 
"It does." She clicked her tongue. "I don't like it though. Those Dires use it as an excuse to mistreat gullible humans."
Silence. 
Just her heavy breathing and staring into each other's eyes. 
"Uh... so what now?" he asked softly. 
"I don't know." She grimaced. "I only came to yell at you."
"Not ask me to be a piece of side ass?"
She let out a hefty puff of air and backed up, but he grabbed her arm, stopping her. 
"Can I be the main piece of ass?"
She raised an eyebrow. "You're weird."
"We've established that," he muttered impatiently. "Come on. Just tell me yes or no. Don't leave me like this."
Her eyes darted around them. "Surrounded by cum-filled tissues?"
His ears burned. "Please."
She paused. Then she let out a resigned sigh, removing her arm from his grip. 
"Jungkook," she said, suddenly serious, rasp with a sharp edge. "I'm the Dire Alpha's child."
Hah?
"What?"
She rolled her eyes. "You know. The big angry black wolf with silver streaks that stalks around in a suit when he appears on television with the President?"
HAH?
"WHAT?" he shouted at the top of his lungs. 
She nodded. "Yes. That's my father."
"You... what?" Jungkook gasped, abruptly grabbing his covers and planting them over his crotch. "Your father?"
"That is, indeed, as some people would say, Daddy."
Jungkook's eyes were swirls. "H-how... what? But you're... you're..."
"Not in wolf form all the time, scaring the shit out of people? No. I'm not. But I could do that, because he's my father and we have similar abilities." 
"I was going to say, hot."
She shrugged. "I hear my father has an online fanclub called 'Bitches for WolfDaddy'."
"... Please don't ever say that again."
She visibly cringed. "Anyway, yes, he is my father. I was hoping you'd get bored of fantasizing about me, but I’ve stayed away from you for whole month and you are still going strong," she said, shaking her head. She sighed again, clicking her tongue. "So, I don't know, maybe reevaluate if you want to bang me now that you know."
He didn’t even hesitate.
"I still want to bang."
She flicked his forehead and Jungkook winced, slapping her hand. 
"That hurts!"
"I told you to think," she hissed. "I'm not just any Dire. I'm going to be the Dire Alpha someday. Not only do you have to deal with prejudice from your own people, but also mine and possibly have to watch your back for the rest of your life, because even if my father respects my choices, he's still going to want to eat you."
He rubbed his forehead. "We can't... casually date?"
"I just told you the stipulations of 'casual' dating. If you want to marry me, then we'll have to figure that out later, with the ritual and stuff."
"You're gonna fight me?"
"Like I said," she remarked, waving a hand. "We have to figure that out later, if you're still interested."
"... Can I just be your piece of side ass?"
"No."
She startled him by growling. 
"No, you cannot. I like you too much for that."
Jungkook's brain stopped functioning. "What?"
She leaned forward, brows ticked cockily, wolf ears at attention. 
"I like you. You smell good and you're weird and your actions are funny and I like your blond hair," she listed, reaching up to pet it. "The color is fake but I still like it."
"H-hey!" But he liked the feeling of her hand patting his head, so he didn't move away. She lowered her hand and grinned toothily, revealing the sharp canines. 
"I like coming here and seeing your face, Jeon Jungkook."
He was having heart palpitations.
"Although I've been seeing a lot of your dick recently and that's nice too."
She barked in laughter at her own joke and he pouted, shoving her and having no effect, because she was immobile despite her smaller frame. He puffed his cheeks until she stopped. She winked at him. 
"What do you think? Does your horniness outweigh common sense once again?"
-
Which do you think Jungkook picked?
Yeah.
Not common sense.
-
“Lick me, please.”
“Where is your patience?” you mumbled against his lips, pressing him into his bed with your weight.
“Gone, because you’re driving me insane,” Jungkook growled, firmly gripping your hips and trying remove your pants, but your body wasn’t lifting. “Let me take your clothes off.”
Your hand came up and pressed his head back, kissing down his neck, ignoring his request. Small nips against his throat, making him moan, eyelids fluttering.
“I could kill you any second,” you muttered, still hesitant to go through with it.
“At least let me cum before you off me,” he gasped.
You laughed hotly into his neck. “You’re a crazy human.”
“And I’m horny as fuck, please, I need you.”
You had asked Jungkook if he wanted to wait, if he wanted to take it slow, because it was a lot to take in, all that information of you being the next-in-line Dire Alpha and the fact that you liked him in a more than platonic way, so perhaps, you know, after confessing to each other and agreeing to give this a try, a simple kiss would be enough?
Jungkook was violently humping the front of your pants.
He had replied with, “Can we please fuck? Please?”
Well, you weren’t opposed to it, but maybe some foreplay? A cuddle or some shit?
Nope.
“Stop it,” you chided, but Jungkook wasn’t listening. “Calm down, I’m not going to disappear.”
You lifted your hips and Jungkook immediately slid down, fumbling with the button and the zipper, trying to yank your pants and underwear down roughly.
You yelped, pressing down on his shoulder. “The tail. Watch the fucking tail.”
“What?”
He blinked, letting go as you grunted, sitting up and turning a little so he could see that your large fluffy tail stuck out of a slit in your pants. You pushed your pants down, moving your tail yourself. Your panties were black, but had a snap in the back that you undid first before you could push them down too.
“Oh… I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine,” you growled. “Your excitement is getting the best of you.”
Jungkook bit his lip, the mole under his lower lip quivering. “Sorry.” You shifted your tail so it covered you as you removed your panties. He frowned, reaching over. “Hey…” he protested, pausing as his fingertips brushed against the fur. You were about to remove your bra, but stopped.
“Are you petting me?”
He withdrew his hand sharply. “Sorry! Sorry… er… is that rude?” He fiddled with his fingers, obviously itching to touch it again.
You thought about it and shrugged, pulling your sports bra up and over your head. Jungkook’s head immediately jerked upwards to watch your tits bounce out. You shook your ears out as you tossed your bra aside.
“Wow.”
You looked down at him, raising an eyebrow. “What?”
He was looking up at you with awe.
“You’re hot.”
You looked down at his disheveled blond hair, bright chocolatey eyes, tan skin, lean muscle, ink-black tattoos. Innocent, but not. Hesitant, but comfortable in his position under you. There was just something about him. Ah, dating a human was going to be a pain in the ass. You grinned at him and he grinned back, bunny teeth flashing.
Seemed worth it though.
“So are you,” you replied.
He didn’t miss a beat with his cheeky responses.
“You gonna suck my dick or what?”
Your brows raised higher, letting out an amused chuckle. “With these teeth? You sure about that?”
“What are you going to do, bite my dick off? After all your hard work of seducing me?”
You huffed. “That wasn’t hard. All I had to do was lick your face.”
“Speaking of which, please do that again.”
You ticked your head, clicking your tongue. “Damn. Walked into that one.”
Jungkook smirked, placing his hands on your thighs and slowly sliding them up. “Come on…” He pressed his fingers into your skin. “It just makes everything feel so good.” You watched his breathing shallow as he recalled the feeling. “So intense. I don’t know how you do it…” His eyes locked with yours. “I’m pretty sure it’s only you who can do that to me. I want it. Please.”
He wasn’t wrong. It probably was only you.
You leaned down, placing your hands on the sides of his head. Your tail brushed against his nether regions and he gasped, lashes lowering. Oh, how interesting. You swished your tail around, feathering over his hardness. His scent intensified, pre-cum clinging to your silvery fur.
“Mmm, that feels good too…”
You had sex when you were younger, a foolish teenager discovering their sexuality recklessly, but you never had a human partner before. As you grew older, you became weighed down by other responsibilities, too many thoughts to even think about sex. At one point, you wondered if it just wasn’t something that important to you. You didn’t really have initial physical attraction to anyone, so maybe sex was simply lower priority for you than everyone else.
But as Jungkook was under you, as you breathed in his scent and kissed him, long, deep, sensual, you realized perhaps you simply hadn’t found the connection you needed. It wasn’t something you could explain, but there was something. Despite his recklessness and the obvious difference in libido, you wanted to give in to him, on the sole basis that it was Jeon Jungkook and no one else.
You didn’t really understand why, but you weren’t going to question it too much.
Mostly because, at this rate, he was going to cum on your tail.
Your tongue was in his mouth, and he was sucking on it, moaning, small slips of your taste dripping onto his tongue, his hands gripping your ass, rubbing his cock against your fur. You shifted your tail, brushing it up and down his length, and he gasped, breaking the kiss.
“Claim me,” Jungkook breathed. “Please.”
“Technically I have,” you murmured teasingly.
“More,” he whimpered. “Want more. All over me.”
You coated your tongue with your scent, opening your lips a crack to let out a stream of hot breath, wafting over his mouth and nose.
“Mmm, yes, fuck, yeeeeeees…”
“You’re so desperate for it,” your mumbled, barely moving your lips.
“Mhm, it’s the hottest thing I’ve ever felt…” he panted, half-lidded eyes shrouded with lust. “Give it to me, you big tease.”
You chuckled, rumbling your chest. Then you tilted your head, placing your lips on his. It dripped down, straight into his mouth; the saliva saturated with your pheromones.
The reaction was immediate, Jungkook moaning hotly into your mouth, eyes rolling back into his head, gripping your hips tightly as he rammed his hard cock right between your thighs, whole body shaking as it invaded him, taking over his senses. You had intense reactions to your scent before, but never like this, never like it consumed the other and drove them as crazy as it seemed to drive Jungkook. Was it supposed to be like this?
Jungkook’s hips were moving of their own accord, fucking the space in between your thighs. You closed them together and he groaned, dropping from your kiss and arching his back, thrusting fast and hard. You watched with fascination, at his closed eyes and straining neck, open mouth emitting his cries of pleasure as he stroked himself with your legs, pre-cum soaking your skin and adding lubrication.
You dipped your head and licked his neck, coating it with you.
He gripped your hips tighter, a tense gasp of your name plucked from his throat.
“M-More, fuck, I’m so close…”
You licked again, dripping more and more saliva onto his shuddering Adam’s apple and he whimpered, face scrunching up as he clenched his jaw, chasing his climax. You hovered your mouth over him, breathing heavily on his skin.
“Cum for me, Jungkook,” you panted, teeth grazing his skin. “Paint me with your scent.”
He whined sharply and shoved your thighs together around the throbbing head of his cock, shuddering as he shot his orgasm into your skin, the hot, thick liquid squirting out between your thighs and dripping down the back and in between. He moaned, thrusting a few more times, smearing his length with his own cum, adding to the pleasure of the sensitive head being squeezed by your thighs.
“Fuck, that’s so good,” he gasped out, falling back onto his bed, but dragging your lower body with him, cock still pulsating and sandwiched by your legs.
“You’ve made a mess,” you observed.
He cracked one eye open. “You make me messy.”
You raised your eyebrows. “It wasn’t my idea.”
Jungkook grinned. “You encouraged.”
You lifted yourself off him and he instantly complained, but you shut him up by sliding down, running your tongue down the length of his chest. Your legs were a sticky mess, but so was Jungkook’s bed covered in cum-filled tissues, and it was only going to get worse because your saliva was all over his pecs and abs, and Jungkook was spreading it everywhere like a madman, shuddering and gasping. His cock was already hard, smacking you in the tits as you lowered yourself to it.
“Is that what you wanted?” you chuckled.
“Y-Yeah… ah, it just makes me feel so fucking good, I don’t understand why…”
You placed your tongue on his twitching cock and licked it up, sighing in satisfaction as his cum coated your tongue.
“Mm, no, fuck, you’re gonna make me cum…” Jungkook whined, but you held his hips, lapping up his taste.
“I’m only cleaning you off, calm down,” you murmured around his cock. You were sure now, by the second taste, that there must be something special about Jeon Jungkook. His cum was addictive. It gave you a euphoric rush, an insatiable hunger for more as you growled, wrapping your tongue around his length and licking up and down, igniting some carnal instinct inside you. You even swiped your tongue over his balls, gathering everything you could, panting as you finished, getting onto your hands.
Breathing hard, lips peeled back, staring down at him like a goddamn meal.
Your drool plopped down onto his stomach.
Jungkook gasped, catching your expression and eyes widening.
“Er…”
You shook your head, puffing out air. “Sorry. Something came over me there.” What was that? Huh. You weren’t in heat. That only happened twice a year. Your next cycle didn’t start for a while. You pondered, furrowing your brow. Jungkook’s hesitant voice cut through your thoughts.
“Er, I have a question.”
You tilted your head, one of your ears flickering. “Hm?”
“Can you… get pregnant by me?” he asked, chewing his lip.
You blinked at him. “Of course. That’s why most Dire males get vasectomies when they have a bunch of… well, never mind.”
Jungkook blinked at you. “Oh. So, we would have half-wolf babies?”
You made a face. Weren’t you technically the half-wolf? Whatever, just explain the result. “No, our children would all be full Dire, because I am the mother. The species of the child is dependent on the biological mother.”
“Oh.” He rubbed his chin. “We have to use condoms then. Or are you on birth control?”
You gave him a confused look. “Why would I be on birth control? I only go into heat twice a year. Which means I only ovulate twice a year.”
Jungkook looked surprised. “Really? Then what does the full moon do?”
“It connects the Dire to our natural instincts as wolves, thus forcefully turning most Dire into their wolf forms. It awakens our primitive instincts of hunt, fight, mate. It heightens all our senses too. But, since we’re only in heat twice a year, our population numbers will always be lower than you humans, which is why we haven’t out-populated you all yet.” You frowned. “Don’t they teach you this shit in school? They teach us human biology at our schools.”
He shook his head. “No. I never learned about this stuff.”
You rolled your eyes. “Typical humans, only selfishly focusing on themselves.”
“Uh, I’m right here?” he huffed indignantly.
“Do you disagree, full-time masturbator?” you accused.
Jungkook’s ears turned red. “W-well, it was only because you weren’t visiting!”
How sweet, you thought wryly. “Anyway, why are you asking?”
Now his entire face was red.
“Er… wondering if I can go in raw… If you’re cool with it…” he mumbled.
A bird cawed outside, reminding you both the window was still open.
“I beg your pardon?”
“I mean if y-you’re not,” Jungkook sputtered. “I totally understand. I got tested yesterday and I’m clean, because I wanted you to not be worried about it and well, oh, maybe you didn’t want to hear that, er…”
You blinked slowly.
“I haven’t had penetrative sex in, I don’t know, three years?”
“Three years?” Jungkook choked. “What? How?”
“I got tested at my last checkup,” you mentioned absentmindedly.
“You go to the doctor?”
You gave him a puzzled look. “Yes? Don’t you?”
“W-well, yeah, but… don’t you heal kinda fast and stuff?”
You raised your hands, confusion deepening. “And so? Do you think I live in the medieval times or something, rubbing leaves on my ailments?”
Jungkook shrugged. “Maybe?”
You slapped your face, rubbing your forehead. “Humans…”
Then something occurred to you. You raised your head, narrowing your eyes.
“Why would you get tested yesterday?”
Now Jungkook was doing that thing were his eyes shifted everywhere. You were becoming well-acquainted with this habit. “Uh… well… you see…”
You looked around you, at the discarded clothes, the rumpled sheets, the tissues, and then snapped your head back to him.
“You planned this,” you barked roughly.
“I missed you!” Jungkook whined, tackling you and pushing you down onto the bed. “You have no idea what you do to me! It’s not fair!” He shoved his face into your hair and inhaled a large breath, shuddering. “You have some kind of weird spell over me and then you wouldn’t come visit and I just needed you so fucking bad…” He was panting against your temple, pressing his chest to yours, moaning as your skin touched his. Your necklace and rings slid down and hit your throat, descending as he rolled his body into yours.
“It’s not a spell,” you gasped, surprised to find yourself breathless as he ground his hips into you. “It’s pheromones, biology–”
“I really don’t care what it is, you make me a horny ass mess and I’m going crazy over here,” Jungkook panted, lifting his head, blond hair brushing your cheek as his blown-out pupils looked down at you. “We don’t have to full-on fuck right now, but you can’t blame me, I absolutely needed to at least see you.”
His hard dick sharply poked you in the thigh.
You raised your eyebrows.
He swallowed. “You’re doing that thing again.”
“I’m not doing anything.”
“Well, then you’re just straight up attractive, sue me.”
“You would lose because I can pay a better lawyer.”
He clenched his jaw. “Rich people.”
You shrugged. “We all know the justice system is flawed and driven by money like everything else, even though it shouldn’t be.”
“Stop making societal insights and address the fact you make me horny as fuck,” Jungkook grumbled.
You breathed in his face.
Not normal breath, but breath laced your scent. Jungkook shuddered and rammed his hips into your leg.
“Now you’re doing that thing,” he moaned, rubbing his chest against yours, pushing your nipples around with his pecs.
“It amazes me you’re so turned on by it,” you mused, enjoying the feeling of him pressed up against you.
“Fantastic,” he grunted, reaching up and tangling his fingers in your hair. “Write it in your scientific journal.”
You chuckled. “Are you irritated with me?”
“Little bit.”
His fingertips rubbed the fur on your ears, smoothing it. You hummed in approval. It felt nice, like a head scratch. The tip of your tail thumped against the bed. Jungkook murmured your name into your cheek, kissing it lightly.
“Mm, yes?”
“Am I crushing you?”
“No.”
Silence as Jungkook continued petting your ears.
“Can I put my dick in you?”
“Wow, I was enjoying this nice, lovely cuddle time–”
He quickly apologized. “S-sorry. Sorry, I’ll–”
You opened your legs under him and Jungkook’s lower body dropped onto the bed, his cock bumping against your wet heat. He gasped, yanking your ears forcefully and you growled in warning. He quickly let go, placing his hands on the bed, cheeks flushing.
“Sorry, you just…”
You extended your tongue, arching a brow.
He bit his lip, moaning deep in his throat as he pressed his length against your dripping core.
“S-stop… you’re d-doing it on purpose…”
You licked your lips, coating them with you. You watched him struggle to resist the scent, shoulders locking, head hanging, panting hard as his ash blond hair drifted down and grazed your cheeks. Eyes so dark they seemed black.
“I’m aware of the consequences,” you said huskily.
“Fuck,” Jungkook gritted out before he unlocked his shoulders and dove down, roughly pressing his lips into yours and rubbing his cock into your juices. He moaned, sliding his tongue into your mouth as you wrapped your scent all over it. You shifted your hips and the head pressed against your slick slit. You weren’t sure how he was going to handle this after being that turned on by your saliva, but, oh well, that was his problem now.
“Go ahead,” you drawled against his lips, your voice a low rasp.
Jungkook backed up, panting hard, furrowing his brow at you. “What?”
You smirked. “You’ll find out.”
You rubbed your opening against the tip and Jungkook gasped, eyelashes fluttering.
“Ho-o-oly shit.”
-
He was fucked.
Absolutely fucked.
The second even half a centimeter slid in, Jungkook lost it and shoved his cock all the way to the base, the feeling so intense and hot that he momentarily forgot what existence was, because, fuck, it was like the pleasure ate him up and all he could feel was the overwhelming heat and tightness of her pussy, every single ridge and squelch of wetness, throbbing and pulsating around him. It was only when she moaned softly under him that Jungkook remembered that he wasn’t on some existential plane of existence and in the real world.
“Gah… it’s so… intense…” he panted out, eyes rolling back into his head as her muscles clenched around him.
“I’m not sure how you’re going to survive if I’m actually in heat,” she mused. “You’ll probably nut within a second of being in me.”
“Wow… that’s awfully rude… of you to say…”
Jungkook wanted to be chill, but it was impossible, because his hips were already moving, sliding in and out, smacking their hips together, groaning at the sensation of being roughly massaged all over by wet heat, soaked with her scent, already pushed to his limit and he had to bite he inside of his cheek to hold back.
“I should have… used a condom…”
“Not sure that would be much help, you horndog,” she teased.
“Do you even feel anything?” he hissed, roughly smacking his hips into hers. “Or are you going to… spend the entire time… giving me snarky commentary?”
Their eyes locked and he noticed how gold her irises were now, almost flaring with light.
“Need it harder,” she breathed.
The overwhelming passion sank into him with every breath he felt against his skin.
“Harder, please, Jungkook…”
And his body responded, lifting one of her legs and smacking their hips together hard, moaning as he felt her thigh against his skin, the heat closing in on him, fucking her into the mattress so roughly the bedframe shook and he couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe as his orgasm hit him so hard that he keeled over and nearly folded her in half, gasping as he shot into her throbbing heat, cock twitching, but still hard because of this whole scent possession thing so he just kept going, kept thrusting into her, lewd, loud slapping of flesh against flesh, squelching as he fucked his own cum into her.
She grinned at him, mischievous and wolf-like, so many pointed teeth, and he was so damn hard, he didn’t understand how she made him so crazy but, also, he didn’t care because it felt so fucking good. It felt like his entire cock was vibrating his pleasure and fanning out over his balls and ass and back and up his spine and into his head, made more intense by the soft growls of his name from her lips and the smell of his cum mixing with hers. She sucked in a tight breath, body tensing.
“Mm, ah, Jungkook…”
Her pussy tightened, squeezing him rough and hard, and Jungkook whimpered, falling over the edge, pleasure hitting every nerve and igniting them all at once, squeezing his eyes shut and gasping out her name, whole body shivering with lust, his cock jerking and spurting a second load into her all-consuming wet heat, so much that it slid back and coated his own cock. He shuddered and slipped down, losing strength of his arms as her hands quickly planted themselves on his chest, holding him up. Slowly, she shifted her leg down and he moaned, feeling his cock shift inside her and some of his cum squirt out between them, soaking into his sheets.
The scent of sex hovered around them, clinging to their skin.
Jungkook couldn’t move.
Did he die?
Kind of felt like it.
Nothing but heat and pleasure, her pussy wrapped around his cock, pulsing slowly.
She held him up easily, measured, even breaths as she came down, a distinct difference to his absolutely fucked-out state, panting, forehead coated with sweat. He couldn’t say anything. She just calmly lowered him to her chest, wiping his forehead with the back of her hand and exhaling, waiting for his heart to slow and beat in time with hers.
It took several minutes.
To be honest, Jungkook was kind of happy he couldn’t move. His cock, although softening, was having a great time in this wet warmth.
“Uh… this has never happened before…” he mumbled, pressing his cheek against hers so he wouldn’t have to look her in the eye.
She chuckled. “I figured you might need a second.”
“I’ll get better at it.”
“That’s true. You’ll need lots of practice.”
Silence. Comfortable silence. Except for a couple outside squabbling loudly like crows. It was kind of ruining the moment.
“You should have closed the window,” Jungkook scolded, inhaling the scent of her hair.
“My bad. I was a little distracted by you furiously jacking off.”
“… Kind of proud I still had it in me to fuck you.”
He stiffened. Her tongue traced his ear.
“It’s the spell,” she teased.
“You said it’s biology.”
She chuckled, the laugh rumbling her chest.
-
“Why are you always perfectly okay after we fuck?”
You shrugged, nibbling on the piece of cheese you found in Jungkook’s fridge. He was on the floor of the kitchen, panting, hair sweaty and sticking to his face, the floor an absolute mess of fluids after you rode him right here in his own kitchen.
“Guess I’m just built different.”
He gritted his teeth, slamming his fist on the floor.
“It’s hurting my pride.”
This was nice cheese. You chewed, enjoying the flavor.
“I wouldn’t be so depressed about it. Maybe you need to work out.”
Jungkook glared at you. You chuckled and squatted down, flicking your tail against his thighs. He sucked in a breath, moaning softly.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s only been a few hours since we fell asleep and woke up.”
He clicked his tongue. “I need a shower. Again.”
“That’s your fault, you know. You always want me to lick you all over.”
“Speaking of which, lick me all over in the shower, thanks in advance.”
-
Your father could smell him off you and declared he was going to eat him.
“You will not.”
Your father growled at you. It was quite intimidating and you would have run if he wasn’t your father.
“You. Will. Not.” You repeated yourself with sternness.
Your father had snapped his jaw, grimacing in annoyance. Black lips peeling back, showing all his sharp teeth, gold eyes flashing. He was always in wolf form. He rarely changed.
“I doubt he’s more than a gulp to me. A mere bunny.”
“You can have your opinion, but he’s mine.”
He stomped away, paws heavy on the stone floor.
“You’ll tire of him.”
Honestly, you expected more of a fight. But you hadn’t missed the tick of your father’s head as he sniffed you, the pensive spark in his eyes. Everyone said he wasn’t the same since your mother passed away. You wouldn’t know, but he definitely wasn’t the thoughtful type. You watched him walk away, black and silver tail swishing, claws scraping.
You wondered what your father was like when he was in love.
Did he like holding hands? Did he look at your mother in awe and tell her how beautiful she was?
Did he tell her he loved her?
Your father turned his large head, puffing heavily from his elongated snout. You didn’t say anything. He was a huge black wolf, even bigger than your wolf form. Next to your human form, you were comically small. But down the hall, you were almost the same size, eye level.
His white teeth flashed.
Then he faced forward again and walked away.
Was he going to say something but decided against it?
“I love you, Father.”
You said it softly. He was gone, but maybe he heard anyway.
The Dire Alpha had excellent hearing.
-
“Uh, are you okay?”
You flung yourself through his window, scowling angrily.
“My father made me train for no reason.”
“Train for what?”
“Fighting, obviously.”
You hit the floor of his bedroom with a hard thunk, body aching all over. Still wearing an oversized black hoodie and black jeans four sizes too big. Your father was relentless. You must be going soft if you’re dating a human. Well, you showed him. But not before half-dying from his strikes.
Jungkook hurried over to you, but you scowled, shooing him away. You got on your hands and knees, snarling at the pain, snapping your teeth.
“Do you need an ice pack or something?” he asked, peering at you as you mentally steeled yourself, hoisting your body to your feet.
“No,” was your stubborn response. “I am fine.”
“You look like you’re going to fall over.”
“Sparring with my father does that,” you muttered, cracking your neck. “You want to try?”
“No, not really.”
You finally got a good look at Jungkook. He was wearing a patterned dress shirt with black slacks. Blond hair styled and parted to one side, revealing his strong and handsome features.
“What’s with you?” you asked, confused by his appearance.
He gestured weakly to the bedroom door. “Well… I made dinner… so maybe you want to eat with me?”
Oh. Your cheeks flushed warmly.
“I would love to.”
And then you collapsed, the world going black.
-
Jungkook couldn’t move her.
He was a strong guy, but she was like a giant sack of bricks in this state, crumpled onto his bedroom floor, bushy tail flared out, silvery ears flopped to one side. She was still breathing, but it was pained and shallow. He grabbed one of his pillows and managed to lift her head, shoving it under her. How bad as it? He pushed up the hem of her hoodie and looked.
Oh.
Fuck.
That’s a lot of bruises.
He shoved the hoodie back down and looked back to her face.
Her eyes were cracked open, husky chuckle on her lips.
“I think I’m a little tired…”
Jungkook tugged on her sweater. “Can you move? Just to get onto the bed. I can’t lift you.”
She let out a puff of air. “Floor is fine.”
“No, it’s not. The love of my life does not belong on the floor.”
“Hah.”
Her eyes slipped closed.
“You called me the love of your life.”
Oh.
He did, didn’t he?
Jungkook looked down at the female Dire. Her soft tufted ears and lush silver tail, but otherwise human. Definitely wasn’t though. He knew that from experience.
He couldn’t leave her.
Not even as the dinner got cold and forgotten. He dragged all his bedding onto the floor and created a blanket circle around their bodies, nuzzling himself next to her. He placed his head beside hers and watched her face. She seemed to be in a deep, dep sleep. Jungkook smiled despite her not being able to see and kissed her nose.
Shut his eyes, enjoying their closeness.
Her tail came up and rested on his legs.
-
“So I’m the love of your life, huh?”
“Gah!”
Jungkook snapped his eyes open, jerking back. But he couldn’t go far, because she was on top of him, all her clothes off, on her hands and knees. His eyes widened. She still had bruises, but they seemed to be lighter, purple-green. She tilted her head, fluffy ears flickering. The necklace she wore had the diamond pendant and – he counted – eight rings, the same number as before. Whew.
She scratched her neck and he noticed her nails were painted black again.
“Why are you naked?” Jungkook sputtered.
“Got hot,” she mumbled. “I usually sleep naked.”
Jungkook stared into her eyes. She seemed tired, but not near collapsing like she had been when she entered. The window was closed.
“Can you change?”
“Hm?”
“Into your wolf form. Can you change right now?”
She looked down at him. “Yes, of course.”
“Can I see?”
She blinked.
“You a furry or something?”
“N-no? I just… want to see it…”
She raised an eyebrow and backed up, tail swishing. He sat up, watching her form as she moved to an open space in his room. Sleek, primal, powerful. It didn’t take long. Two, three steps and there was the crack of bone rearranging, a sharp gashing of teeth and the long snout appeared, lips peeled back as she shook her head. He almost missed it, the sudden swish of fur and swiftly it was all over, her frame suddenly huge, daunting, reminding him of that night when she had saved him. Wicked black claws, undeniably dangerous. Muscles flexing as she stepped in a circle, the white crescent fur pattern on her back gleaming against her silvery pelt, hairs tipped with black.
She cracked her neck, staring down at him. The necklace now looked comically small and the ceiling seemed far too low. Her voice seemed to resonate, but still husky and recognizable.
“Is this what you wanted?”
Her eyes were pure gold, glinting in the moonlight through his window.
“You’re beautiful,” Jungkook breathed.
She chuckled, sitting down, tail swishing. “Are you sure you’re not a furry?”
“I don’t know and I don’t really care,” Jungkook muttered, admiring the way the moon seemed to bring out the shine in her fur.
She padded over and encircled him, tail brushing against his chest. Plopped down on the blankets, nudging with her leathery black nose. Jungkook looked up into her golden orbs. She seemed to raise an eyebrow.
“Hm?”
He leaned back against her shoulder, burrowing in the softness.
“Can I… see your teeth?” he asked softly.
She clicked her tongue, chest vibrating. Took him a moment to realize she was containing her laughter.
“You’re a little freaky, Jungkook,” she chuckled and then she opened her mouth, sharp, pointed white teeth glistening, lowering them to him. Next to his shoulder, breathing in heavy puffs. Definitely could rip him apart in an instant.
Not going to lie.
Jungkook was a little turned on.
Her tongue slid out, licking his neck.
Slightly more turned on.
“Satisfied?” she drawled.
“Erm, yes.”
She closed her mouth and laid her head on the blankets.
“Naptime.”
And she nestled around him, letting him sleep against her silvery warmth.
-
You woke him up by licking him.
Softly, on his neck. But not subtly, because you let it drip on his skin, painting him with your scent. He groaned, shifting in your arms, but you held him still, hands on his torso. He was still wearing that nice dress shirt and slacks. His blond hair was a little ruffled from sleep, but you could see the effort. You felt bad for not realizing his intent sooner but, then again, you couldn’t choose your father’s orders.
You weren’t in wolf form anymore. That would be strange if you were.
But somehow, you didn’t think Jungkook would care.
You heard him mumble your name. You placed your lips on his neck and kissed him softly.
“Bite me.”
“Chomp.”
He clicked his tongue. “Be serious.”
“You would be dead if I was serious.”
“You know what I mean,” Jungkook muttered, taking your hands and placing them on the buttons of his dress shirt. “Just a little bit. I’m human, not fragile.”
He was right.
“Ah, sorry,” you whispered.
“Don’t apologize.” His voice was deep, leaning his head back on your shoulder, exposing his neck. “Mark me. Fuck me up. Show me you want me.”
You chuckled, tail swishing slowly.
“Sure.”
He asked for it.
Your lips opened, tongue sliding out, dripping all over his skin. Jungkook moaned under you, hands reaching back and finding your thighs, squeezing them. One button. Two buttons. Teeth pressed against his throat, soaking him with you. Three buttons. You bit down, softly, and sucked, inhaling his scent. He was wearing some kind of cologne. You licked it off, replacing it with you. Jungkook shivered, gasping as your hand slid into his shirt.
“Harder…”
“You’re such trouble, Jungkook,” you mumbled, kissing down his shoulder, nipping at his skin. He whined as you pressed your fingertip to his nipple, rubbing in slow circles. You sank your teeth in, not breaking skin, but definitely hard enough for him to feel it, sucking just as roughly. Fuck. The feeling of him in your canines, the subtle taste of his skin coating your tongue.  You growled in your chest, pinching his nipple and hurriedly undoing the rest of his shirt. Jungkook shuddered under your mouth, moaning as you pushed the fabric aside.
“Mmm, fuck, yes…”
You pulled away, seeing the dark purple mark on his skin, pinpricks of red where your teeth had dug in. He pressed his back into your chest, panting heavily. You leaned forward, parting your lips. Thick, viscous saliva dripped down, plopping onto his pecs, coating him with your scent. You took it and rubbed it against his nipples, and Jungkook instantly reared into your hands, moaning, hands flying down to his slacks and fumbling with the button.
“Fuck, you drive me crazy.”
Your lips pressed against his ear as he fought with his pants, grunting in annoyance as they weren’t coming off fast enough. You traced his earlobe with your tongue and he gasped, leaning into it, raising his hips to remove his slacks as you nipped just under his ear, right at the pulse point.
“You’re a fucking tease,” Jungkook growled.
You licked up and down, so much saliva that it trickled down his neck. He whimpered as your teeth closed in.
“Say something…”
You paused for a moment. Then you reached up and tangled your fingers in his hair, pulling him to one side to expose more of his neck to you.
“Time to show everyone you’re mine,” you snarled.
You gripped his head tightly and bit down, sucking his skin into your mouth. Jungkook’s body bucked into yours, throaty moans vibrating in your lips but you barely noticed, because suddenly you could smell his scent, his hand once again palming himself, spreading his pre-cum over his throbbing cock. The faintest prick and his blood touched you tongue.
Oh.
Fuck.
You drew back, eyelids fluttering, grating groan as you leaned forward and licked it off. Couldn’t help it, you were a damn carnivore and his blood was right there, so you had to remove your teeth, but you were still going to lick it up. Ugh, so good. Jungkook whined out your name and you lowered him to the blankets, crawling down to his hand still stroking his cock.
“C-Can you…?”
“No, I cannot. Move your hand so I can sit on your dick.”
He moved his hand and pouted at you. “But–”
You lifted your head and stared at him in the eye. Jungkook froze, eyes widening. You knew what it looked like. Pure gold, almost glowing. One side of his neck was patterned with purple and red, your bites on his skin. He wouldn’t be able to cover them easily. Your heart was beating fast, too fast. Was it the blood? His smell? His body with your ownership on his skin?
In any case, there was no way you were going to attempt to blow him now.
You opened your mouth, panting hard.
“Jungkook, I want to. Sit. On. Your. Dick.”
He nodded, pulling his hands away. “Yes. Please.”
You lifted your body and sank down on him. Jungkook choked on air, gripping the blankets tightly as you closed your eyes, exhaling deeply as you felt him fill you up. Had it ever felt like this before? You weren’t even close to heat and yet it was still so good, felt so nice with him inside you as you squeezed him with your muscles. Jungkook gasped, shoulders tensing at the sensation.
“Are you trying to end me in seconds?” he hissed, but you ignored him, rocking your hips, holding onto his waist, sliding him in and out of you easily. You breathed in, pressing your fingers into his skin as your rode him and he turned into a moaning puddle under you, working his hardness, focusing more on clenching him inside you rather than smacking your hips together.
“It doesn’t matter,” you breathed. “I’ll make sure you can keep going.”
“Fuck, you’re mean,” Jungkook gritted out.
You opened your eyes, looking down at him. Him and his head pressed back into the blankets, blond hair contrasting the navy fabric, jaw tight, eyes screwed shut as he tried to hold on. He felt your gaze and cracked his eyes open, surveying you through his lashes.
You smiled at him, rolling your hips down his length.
“Don’t–”
You opened your mouth and let it drip onto his abs.
“Fuck!”
His hands smacked into yours and his back arched sharply, muffled wail as he came inside you, hot thick strings painting your insides. It was a sudden, euphoric sensation that seemed to flood you with pleasure from bottom up, massaging his length as his cum squelched with your movements, soaking down your walls and coating his cock, trickling onto his balls. You slid your hands out of his and spread your saliva over his stomach, still warm from his hot skin.
You could tell it was taking over him, the way his hands crawled up your thighs, gripping your hips, opening his dark eyes, pupils blown out, completely intoxicated by lust.
You slid your hands to his sides, planting them on the floor.
“Fuck me back, Jungkook,” you drawled huskily. “Shove your cum into me.”
Hard, rough, fast – you slammed your hips into him and Jungkook groaned, grabbing your ass and raising his hips to meet yours, an obscene squish as his cum was jammed back into your folds. You bit your lip, grinning, all your nerves tingling, ears and tail bristling, chasing your release as you thrust him into you and he smacked his hips back, matching your pace. His eyes found yours. Darkness to gold.
“Shit, you look so hot…”
You tightened around him and he moaned, throwing his head back, the purple-red hickeys on his neck flexing with his muscle.
“Fuck, you’re so pretty with my bites,” you panted, towering over him, the head of his cock jamming into your deepest parts, so perfectly nice and wet and messy, his cum and your juices spilling out onto his legs and balls, soaking the blankets under you as you fucked him relentlessly. “Cum for me, Jungkook. Let’s make a mess.”
Your name tore of out of his throat, and you gasped as he filled you again, all the way to the brim, eyes fluttering closed as your orgasm shadowed his, suffocating and unrelenting, squeezing his stiff length so hard that your cum and his cum splattered down, painting mixed scents on both your crotches. Strong and heady, intoxicating and addictive. You sat all the way down, moaning as you relished in the joined wetness, thick and wonderful, your hands coming up and caressing his heaving torso, his hands falling from your hips and hitting the floor with a thud.
Slow, deep breaths.
You looked down at Jungkook. His eyes were closed and he was breathing shallowly. His blond hair stuck to his sweaty forehead, jaw tense. You patted his chest and he opened one eye, peering at you.
“Should I get up?”
His hands came back up and rested on your thighs. “No. I like this.”
You pulsated around his twitching cock and Jungkook closed his eyes again, sighing in satisfaction, listening to the lewd spurt of more cum dripping out. You lifted one of your hands and placed it on your lips. Then you lowered it and placed your fingers to his lips.
Jungkook’s eyes opened, brown orbs hazy.
You grinned at him, silvery ears flicking upward.
-
Jungkook stared at himself in the mirror.
This t-shirt was not going to cut it.
He went back to his closet and retrieved a scarf.
Nope, this just looked stupid.
He went back to the closet and found a turtleneck. A white and black striped one.
Well. Less stupid. Too hot for it, but that was his own fault.
Jungkook pulled down the collar. He traced the bite mark. He swallowed, feeling the arousal building up inside him once again. Remembered the way she felt around him. The way his whole body seemed drawn to her, the way his cock was soaked with him own cum and hers. She had already left. Had things to do and all that. A slow smile grew on his lips.
He had ten minutes before he actually had to leave for work.
He could annoy her for a little bit.
Jungkook’s tattooed right hand slid down to his jeans, undoing the button.
-
You raised your head.
Frowned.
You father got up from the table and took his plate with him. Hunk of raw meat and all.
“Father?”
The gigantic black wolf paused and glared at you. Blood dripped from his white teeth.
“Daughter, I recognize his scent just as well as you.”
Oh.
Yikes.
You decided not to tell Jungkook that.
Ignorance is bliss.
-
“No.”
“Why not?”
You were sitting on the rooftop of his apartment complex. He had taken you up here to show you the sunset over the city. Fed you a large hunk of raw high-quality meat and three bottles of soju. Became slightly upset when you didn’t get drunk. Too much muscle mass, perhaps.
“I’m not going to fuck you on the full moon, Jungkook,” you chuckled as you nibbled on a piece of cheese. It was such an interesting flavor. Jungkook had said it was some kind of gourmet cheese, but to you it was only a wedge of very tasty dairy.
“It might be nice?” he tried, nudging you.
You chuckled. “It’ll definitely be nice, but you still can’t move after I’m done with you at the moment, so let’s build up some tolerance first.”
“Let’s,” Jungkook pouted. “You just mean me.”
You were sitting on a green plaid blanket Jungkook had spread out for you two. You looked over to him and his dark denim jacket with matching dark jeans. He was wearing a white Beatles t-shirt under it.
“Do you actually like the Beatles or are you just wearing it for aesthetics?”
Jungkook looked down at his shirt. “Of course, I like the Beatles. Who doesn’t like the Beatles?” He snapped his head up, eyes widening. “You know who the Beatles are?”
You rolled your eyes. “I keep telling you I am not from the medieval times; there are just some primitive ideals in my culture, ugh.” You poked his chest and he rubbed it, frowning. You continued, ignoring his frown. “Obviously I know who they are. The Beatles changed music. Recording, songwriting, artistic presentation – they brought music to new heights. They changed music not only as an industry but also the way people felt about music. Think about it. They became an international act when people were only listening to music on the radio. Do you know how insane that is? Everything travels so fast on the Internet nowadays, but the Beatles became popular without the internet. Can you even imagine that in this day and age?”
You turned your head to make your point and Jungkook was staring at you, slack-jawed.
“What?”
He shook his head, smiling. “I like listening to you. I totally agree by the way. Do you like music?” he said excitedly. “I work at a records store. You want to come by sometime?”
You blinked at him.
“Ah… sure. That sounds nice.”
-
part iii
--
masterpost
527 notes · View notes
arrowflier · 3 years
Note
lmao we need the story now of Ian sitting in Mickey’s lap at the bench to piss of the housewife! 😂 love ur stories xx 💋
Expansion of a moment alluded to here. It got extra silly.
They’re stumbling home early one morning after practically spending the night at the Alibi Room, tossing back shots with the Gallaghers in celebration of Carl and his police partner securing the deed. Even with a handful of cops among them—can’t believe this place is a fucking pig pen now, jesus Gallagher—they had both enjoyed themselves, content that Carl wouldn’t let anyone mess with his family. Hell, Tipping wouldn’t either—he’d been staying in touch since he crashed their anniversary, and seemed to love having a couple of ex-con pals to shoot the shit with on a Friday night.
Ian stumbles as they get closer, nearing the edge of the park they take Franny and Fred to sometimes when they babysit, and Mickey grabs him around the waist with a laugh.
“Watch it,” he giggles. “You’re fuckin’ hammered, man.”
Ian twists so that they’re holding each other, swaying awkwardly as he gets his arms around his husband.
“Gonna hammer you,” he slurs, before nearly falling on his ass when Mickey pulls back with a snort.
“Gonna fucking hurt yourself is what you’re gonna do,” he disagrees, grinning. “You’re such a lightweight.”
Ian pouts, but Mickey just takes his hand and leads him farther into the park until they come to a worn stone bench, which he shoves Ian down onto unceremoniously.
“Sit down before you fall down, tough guy,” he orders after the fact, then pushes a pliant Ian over until there’s space to sit down next to him.
It’s pretty quiet this early as they sit together in a silence broken only by the occasional hiccup from Ian. There are a few kids on the playground already a short distance away, surprising for 6AM but not unheard of. The sun is up already, but weak, and it casts faint shadows that play over Ian’s face and hair as Mickey looks at him. It brings out the the varied highlights, making it look like a rainbow viewed through a red lens, and Mickey can’t help but reach up to run a hand through it.
Ian hums, and leans sleepily into the touch. Lightweight or not, now that they’re still, he’s coming down fast.
“Got some weird fuckin’ memories here, man,” Mickey says suddenly, eying the bench they're sitting on. It's familiar, and he runs fingers over the grooves left behind by someone's knife. Probably his old man's.
“Bad ones?” Ian asks, and he can feel Mickey shake his head.
“Nah,” he answers. “Not really. Just…weird,” he repeats. After a beat, he lets go of Ian and turns to face him on the bench. “Wanna help me make some better ones?” he asks, and Ian grins and leans in.
Their kisses are soft and light, a little sloppy with lingering drunkenness, lips tasting of cheap ale and stale breath. It’s perfect.
“Excuse me,” someone says loudly next to them, and they break apart. Mickey doesn’t grace the interruption with his attention, settling instead for stroking a hand up Ian’s back, but Ian turns to look at the woman who spoke.
She’s dressed in a sleek black tracksuit with pink lines down the side, bleached hair tied up in a stern bun on top of her head above a thick, velvety headband. One hand is on her hip, the other resting on the handle of a designer stroller, one of those fancy ones that looks like an old Victorian pram but with UV protection and a vented base. Ian tries not the grimace at the idea that it’s probably fucking wifi enabled or something, and could feed his entire family for months if they hawked it.
“Can I help you?” he asks anyway, just to be polite—though his tone is anything but, thanks to his diminished faculties. He doesn’t want to be an asshole, though, whether he likes the gentrifiers taking over his home or not.
Then she opens her mouth, and he immediately reconsiders that stance.
“Could you not do that around the children?” she says pointedly, gesturing to the playground a few feet away where a handful of kids are scrambling over the jungle gym.
That gets Mickey’s hackles up.
“Could you not mind your own fuckin’ business?” he returns, dropping his hand from Ian’s back to make a rude gesture.
The woman scoffs at them, and makes a gesture of her own. “It’s my business what you show my kids,” she tells him haughtily. “This is a family space.”
Ian looks from the woman to his husband, whose eyebrows are climbing his face, and makes a decision.
“Of course, sorry,” he says, ignoring the way Mickey’s head snaps back to look at him. “We’re being so rude, taking up this whole bench when families might need it.”
Mickey starts to grin, catching on when Ian gets up. His hands find Ian’s hips, keeping his steady as he plops right down into his lap.
“That’s not what I—” the woman starts, stunned by the display, but they’ve both stopped listening. Ian leans in and and licks obnoxiously up the side of Mickey’s neck, reveling in the disgusted sound that the woman makes, then Mickey is turning his head and capturing his mouth in a much more thorough kiss than what they had exchanged before.
They don’t even notice when she calls her kids over, two toddlers in matching designer play-clothes meekly coming when called. They don’t notice when they leave, the woman trying to keep the children’s backs to them as they walk away. They do notice the way she trips over the curb on her way out of the park, but they just huff a laugh into their kiss and keep going until she’s out of sight.
Mickey is finally the one to pull back, stroking Ian’s face with his thumb as he does.
“That was kinda hot, Gallagher,” he admits. “Gotta get you drunk and riled up more often.”
Ian laughs, pressing his face into Mickey’s neck where he leaves a chaste kiss.
“Don’t think that’s gonna be a problem with all these rich fucks moving in,” he offers, “but if you get me home, I’ll give you a sneak preview of what’ll happen next time.”
Mickey’s grin is slow and wicked. “Got yourself a deal, tough guy,” he says. “Let’s get your ass home.”
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It took me too much time
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A friends to lover journey for Jiyong and Y/n. Here’s how it all began.
Warning: Smut, language, cuteness overload. Oooh, in the smut part, there is a bit of masochism (not to an extreme, it’s cute. Said in another way, she loves it when it hurts a bit), outdoor sex.  Also, a big fear of storms, the mention of a fire.
W.C. 17796 (of pure hapiness... it made me very happy to write it <3)
Personal note: This is one of my fav gif of Ji. Let’s pretend that it’s him as he’s having a good time with his best friend, okay? Okay!
Sorry for that title and description, I didn’t know how to name it until now, LMAO.
Hopefully, you will love this one. It’s cute, sexy, funny. There is angst too.
Here it is
A double date, 5 years ago.
You were not sure if it was a good idea but you couldn’t refuse to go. It was a gift on a silver plate for your friend, more likely your favorite co-worker. Jiyong had agreed to go on a date with her but at one condition: it had to be a double date. Apparently, his friend Seunghyun was head over toes for you and was too shy to ask you out. It was the perfect occasion for Jiyong, maybe he would get some and his friend would have a chance to meet the girls he was silently in love with.  Well, most precisely, to have a complete conversation instead of the formalities you exchanged when you served him at the café.
You were working in a café where the boys came to relax and eat after their practice At the time they came, the café was almost emptied from the patreons.  They were the best friends in the world, bandmates working hard to pursue their dream in the music industry. They had made their debut a while ago and the reactions were enthusiastics. The press had good reviews of their albums and the fan base grew. They were starting big.
“It will be fun,” she said, “believe me, Seunghyun is such a cutie pie, a perfect match for you. Plus, you never went on a double date before so you can’t tell me that you don’t like it”.
“Okay but I’m only doing it for you. You owe me one girl...”
This is when you had met Seunghyun and Jiyong and got to have a real conversation with them. During the date, your friend was drooling in front of Jiyong, drinking each one of his words, a slanted smile across her face. It was cutely pathetic to witness.  
Because you weren’t in a place in your life to have a boyfriend, you made it clear with Seunghyun that it would not be possible. Oh! perfect he was! He had a beautiful face, a sharp sense of humor, a deep voice and a tender smile. He was just magnificent.  It could have worked, under different circumstances. It really could have.
When it was time to split and as much as they didn’t seem to fit together, Jiyong and your friend decided that they wanted to pursue the night together. Seunghyun had dropped you to your place, you exchanged phone numbers before you left his car. You didn’t fall for him the way he wanted but at least, he was a good person and you were willing to get to know him better, as a friend.
Even though the evening turned out to be a flop on the romantic level, something wonderful came of it. Your friendship with Jiyong and somehow with Seunghyun too. Just for that, the double date was more than worth it.
Present day
“Earth to the moon! 1.2, 1.2! There’s distortion on the line” Jiyong mocked.
“Sorry, I was thinking… Do you remember the first time we met?”
"Oooh! You mean the night I had the worst sex ever with that annoying bartender?”
“Damn boy, don’t be so mean. That poor girl did her best! She was probably so stressed to be in front of you. You were already a sex symbol back then!”
“True, I was undeniably sexy already” he said, shaking his butts but realizing what he just did, his cheeks turned pink.
Both of you laughed. You have lost your friendship with her the day Jiyong broke up with her, 2 weeks after the double date. Because you continued to talk to him, she cut you off of her life, telling you that you were not “on her side”. The last time you heard about her, she had divorced from her husband and was dating an old but rich CEO. She didn’t change at all, bitch was a sucker for money and status.
“Still Ji, you got to know me that night! You won in the long run, man!” you said, proudly flipping your hair.
“Aww! You’re so cute” he cooed, “True! What would I do without that adorable friend of mine that crashes my sofa each time they announce a storm” he said piling up the plates that had dried on the kitchen counter.
“Hey, it scares me okay?”
“Oh! I know you are scared but what the fuck am I suppose to do to protect you? I can’t stop the lightning from falling over your head!”
“YAH! You’re supposed to help me calm down! Not to scare the shit out of me!”
“Girl, you are so much cuter when you don’t have that badmouth!”
“I don’t want to be cute Ji! I just don’t want to die tonight! Did you see the sky? It’s gonna be hell of a storm, I’m telling you” you pointed to the window to mark your point.
“I hope we’ll survive!” he teased. He came closer to you and kissed your temple while one of his hands rested on your shoulder in a protective way. “At least you bought sushi! If we die tonight, it will be with a filled tummy. I have a new wine that will be perfect with it, too”.
“Ji, I don’t like it at all. I’m really scared. Don’t mock me”.
“I know, love! I’m just teasing you”.
Fun fact, you were not that scared of the storm anymore. Well, you were still scared but not petrified like you used to be. But because you had that habit of crashing his sofa and getting those nights in each time there was an appearance of a storm, you neglected to specify it to your friend.
“Anyway, I hope I didn’t ruin your plans. You can go, if you have a date you didn’t tell me about or something”.
“Nah, I have nothing to do that cannot be done from here, maybe just a little work.  Plus, I have to protect you from the lightning with my super powers! What would you do without me?” he giggled.
You smiled at him tenderly. Jiyong was such a wonderful person. You were more than happy that you had the chance to call him your friend. He always had your back and you always had his. It was like that, you two against the world.  For some reasons, each time something happens to one of you, the other would automatically feel it and call right away. It was like a premonition, a soulmate thing. It made you both smile and care for the other even more. 
Of course, when one of you was in a relationship things got complicated. Your partners didn’t always understand that need you both have to call each other on a daily basis. “If she/he is so important to you, why don’t you marry her/him”? You both heard that often.
“Awww! You’re my personal superhero! I like that! By the way, before you arrived, I filled your fridge with side dishes and lunch boxes. I cooked for myself, so I brought you some”.
“You’re a bad liar, missy. You cooked for us, not for yourself only. You even bought us matching lunch boxes last month”
“True… I cooked for the both of us! And true, I bought it knowing it was matching, I couldn’t resist! Don’t make a big deal out of it, it was just too cute. Instead of a bff bracelet, we have bff matching lunch boxes” you exclaimed.
“Aaaaaw! Finally, you admit it was made to match! Thanks hun, I love the boxes and I love even more the food that you put in it”.
“My pleasure Mr Kwon! Let’s shower before it rains”
“ Why do you keep saying that?”
“It’s common sense and commun knowledge that you can’t shower or bathe when it rains in case there will be a storm, okay? I’ll go first”.
You ran to the bathroom before he had the time to argue. You knew what he was about to say anyway. He told you many times but you were still really scared of it. When you were a teenager, lightning crashed a utility pole near your house, causing an electrical fire. The strong winds had pushed the flames and your house was set on fire despite the heavy rain. It all happened while you were in the shower. That night, you were babysitting your little brother and you had to evacuate the house in a towel with him in your arms. The bad association of shower and strom had stuck in your head even though there was nothing dangerous for real. You were doing your best and you were fighting against your fear with all the courage that you had, but you still had to work more. 
You turned the water off, got out of the luxurious shower and sighted with ease when your feet landed on the fluffy bath mat. Caressing the soft fabric with your toe, you wonder if you were walking on something that was worth more than the price of your car!
“Jiiiiii! Jiyong!" when he didn’t answer the tenth time you called out his name, you went out of the bathroom. You were wrapped in his bathrobe with your hair raised in a white towel  “Where the hell are you?” you called out.
“YAH! Don’t swear love. It’s not cute” He was adding the dressing on top of a roasted veggies salad he just fixed for you. He didn’t like it but he knew it was your favorite. Therefore, he always kept the ingredients in his fridge to be able to serve you one. That and your favorite chocolate, your favorite champagne and wine, your favorite ice cream and so much more little things that you cherish. 
“I don’t need to be cute because you already are whipped for me. Plus, I’m not your girl, so cute or not, you’re not supposed to care!”
“What are you saying? You’re the cutest girl of them all, why can’t you see it? You’re my sweet but bad mouthed girl”. 
At that moment, he lifted his head and noticed how you were dressed. More likely, not dressed, in front of him. You were so cute with your concerned face, frowning with an obvious concern written on your face. He turned his head to look the other way around, covering his eyes with one hand and blushing shyly.
“I’m sorry I took your bathrobe but you were not answering me”.
“I didn’t hear you, what is it that you had to come here naked?”
“I’m not naked, relax for god’s sake! Plus a body is a body, we’re all constructed on the same pattern. So please, just calm down”.
“I can’t relax. You’re naked in front of me”
“Not naked, Sweet baby Jesus. You wanna see what naked really is?” You teased, toying with the knot of the dressing gown. Of course you would never open it and flash your naked body to him like that but he was annoying with his conservative ass and you felt a little bit provocative.
“Yah! Keep it for your man, you naughty!”
“Jesus Christ… I won’t undress, take it easy. Anyway, I’m done with the shower. I just wanted to tell you that it’s your turn. Go, before the storm starts, it’s so dark it will soon. I’ll get dressed in your room, okay?”.
Uncomfortable, he didn’t argue and ran into the shower.
He didn’t like to see you undressed, for some reasons. He was always telling you “love, can you buy longer skirts next time?”, “A bikini, are you kidding me? Why not a normal one piece swimsuit?”, “Please Y/n, don’t walk around the house in just a towel”. Jiyong had a vision of nudity that was beyond your comprehension. You never saw each other naked, that goes without saying. And of course, you never complied to his demands, telling him that you were not more or less dressed than other women of your age, which was true. You were not wearing revealing clothes anyway, he was just too old fashion.  Maybe you were pushing it with the towel thing but hey! He was even worse than you, walking in his briefs way more often than you were ‘indecent’ yourself.
When he came out of the shower, you had comfortably draped your neck with a long scarf. You were wearing a Bigbang crop top with the inscription 'V.I.P for life" and short shorts that you wore to sleep only. A long cream cardigan buttoned up to your chin covered it all. You knew you wouldn’t need more clothes to stay warm, you had a big blanket resting on the armrest of his couch. 
You finished assembling the plates with the sushi, served yourself an extra big portion of his salad and put it all on the coffee table in the living room. The wine and the bottle opener were waiting on the table with some nachos, salsa and candies for later. It was usually sitting on the floor with your back leaning against the sofa as you started the evening. Normally you weren't able to finish a movie because one or the other often fell asleep before the end. More likely, it was him that fell asleep. Then, you would always gently slide his head on a small cushion over your thighs and stroke his hair. At the end of the film, you never had the courage to wake him up, you knew that his sleep was precious and that he often suffered from insomnia. You let him in the same position and fell asleep with your head uncomfortably leaned against the couch. In the morning, he had moved and would be in a different position, on the floor. You didn’t know that he never realised the scalp and head massages. Tonight, he will notice though.
Jiyong had the bad idea to put a horror movie at night like this one, when you were already nervous. He didn’t think twice, as soon as the movie you wanted to watch for so long was out, he bought it for you. He was not a bit interested in it but he knew you would be happy.
 “Tadam,” he cutely said when the title appeared on the screen. 
“Oh, thanks Ji, you remembered”.
“Duh! Of course, you kept rambling about it for days” he teased.
“I’m happy, at least I’ll be scared for something else than the storm. It’s perfect”.
The movie had started and really soon, Jiyong knew that he wouldn’t make it through the end.
It was the thunder that awakened him. There was rain, lightning and strong winds outside. Despite the storm roaring, he felt enveloped in a big comforting bubble, cocooned under a blanket like a burrito. Above all, the familiar and comforting smell, your smell, that shielded him with security and pure happiness. He felt as if he was in a dream. He was too comfortable to open his eyes but he knew his head was on your thighs and it was your hands on his neck.
Your hands… on his neck!  
You had slipped your fingers under his nape, cupping it, your thumbs resting gently on his throat. He felt vulnerable but yet, secure at the same time. He felt raw, in the most beautiful and pure way.  He recognised your scent, your warmth, your breathing. What was he doing, lying on you like that? He wasn’t sure but he never felt like home more than right now. A little confused, he opened his eyes and analysed his surroundings.
You were concentrated on what was happening to the screen, softly murmuring advice to the characters in order to, as far as he could tell, not being murdered with a chainsaw.  
“Stupid, stupid, stupid… Girl, at this point it will be natural selection… See, I told you! You deserved it, not gonna lie”
Jiyong smiled at your cuteness. This is when he felt your hands start to move on his neck.Your fingers were making a gentle downward pressure close to the base of the skull, you were stretching his neck muscles and it was orgasmic. He said nothing, did nothing and even stopped thinking. He refrained himself from groaning with pure happiness.
“See what you did there? How could you take such a dumb decision” still talking to the television. He wouldn’t be surprised if you start to throw food at the screen!
In this position, he could see you from a new angle. A “from above’ angle that gave him dirty thoughts. In a split second, that tender moment turned into a hunger. An intense impulse that he felt quite often recently. An unbearable desire combined with an impulse of the heart. It was a strange feeling, he had never felt like that before. 
If he turned his face 90 degrees and went just a few centimeters down, he would be right at the good place to please you with his tongue and lips and fingers… Just the thought of it made blood boil.
“Woah Kwon Jiyong! Stop it!” he thought for himself. “Are you so horny that you will try to hit on your sweet best friend and ruin 5 years of a solid friendship? Damn it boy!” But also, dirty things happened between you, once. Maybe it was possible again… But was it what he wanted, a one shot deal? He was quite not sure about it. 
Before he could stop his hormones from increasing, he felt his blood run directly to his crotch. He was so hard, it was almost as if all the blood contained in his body had decided to meet there. Your fingers continued to massage his neck, stretching the muscles, putting some pressure on different spots. You were completely unaware of his state, naive little creature that you were.
It could have been a perfect blissful moment but his fucking dick had interrupt. He knew it was unfair to stay like that, to let you massage him with the effect it had on the south direction his blood was taken. So, he took one of your hands and kissed your fingers before he sat up.
“Oooh, sleepy head. You’re awake?” you smiled at him with that beautiful smile of yours. You were not wearing any makeup, your hair was messy and your clothes didn’t match but you were just perfect like that. You had the most beautiful face he never saw in his life. How come he didn’t realise it sooner?.
“Hum mmm. You love the movie?” he placed a cushion on his middle to hide his erection.
“It’s good, yes! Are you okay? You’re pale!”
“Not surprising, the blood has left my head!”
“What? You have a headache?”
“Forget it. I’ll fresh up a bit. Be right back” 
He used to good advantage the fact that your attention was again turned towards the screen.  He got up in a hurry, hiding what he had to hide. He went to the bathroom and cleaned his face to cool down. Looking inside his briefs, he sighted! 
“Fuck you Kwon Jiyong! Fuck! Fuck! What’s your problem? She’s your friend, dammit! She is just a sweet and cute girl. What’s happening to me recently? Why have I started to dream of her? Why did I start longing for her? What are those bubbly sensations that I feel when she’s coming home to me?”.
Recently, he had noticed that not only his body reactions were different but that his emotions had changed as well. That he was more and more happy to see you. That he had way more thoughts about you than he used to. To a point that he even refused a date with an interesting woman just to be able to call you on time, just because he had said “I’ll call you before 9”. He said it, he had to comply, right? What did you talk about? Sweet nothings but it was still a wonderful moment. He allowed himself a few moments for the blood gathered in his penis to turn back. He had a crazy hard time getting there. 
Having the sensation that he was not feeling good, that something was not okay, you paused the movie and walked towards the bathroom. 
“Do you need something Jiyong? You are really pale, I’m not joking. It seems like you have seen a ghost” you said as soon as he opened the door.
He was mad, but not at you. He was mad at himself for the reaction his body had. Confused too. He also knew that he couldn’t tell you what just happened because you would tease him for days. Or worse, you would exclaim a loud and clear disgusted “EEEW” to tease him. That he couldn’t support.
“Listen, I’m going to sleep early tonight. You can continue the movie, don’t wait for me”.
Without an explanation he left for his bedroom and closed the door. It was rude but it was a necessity.
You came back to the living room and sat on the couch. Your thighs were still mild with Jiyong’s warmth. 
You couldn’t concentrate on the movie. What’s got into him? You stood up and walked towards his room, concerned. You just hope that he didn’t discover your ‘secret’.
3 years ago, on Christmas eve
After you finished hanging the garlands, you stepped back and enjoyed your hard work, satisfied.  Yesterday, Jiyong announced that the band would not be able to fly to Korea for Christmas. Something happened with their schedule and unexpectedly they had to stay in Hong Kong a little longer before they would resume their world tour. 
You didn’t want Jiyong and the boys to stay in their room and alone for Christmas. You had called Daesung’s girl of moment and Seunghyn’s sister and shared your plan with them. Youngbae’s girl had already joined him a couple of days ago. You would make a little reception for your boys. After all, no one should be alone on Christmas Eve. With the girls, you prepared it all.
“Can you taste the punch? I’m scared that I didn’t put enough rhum” 
“I did taste it and it was perfect” you answered. “Seunghyun will add wine in his glass anyway, wait for it” 
She laughed, it was exactly like his brother to do that. 
“Oh, they’re coming. I’m so nervous” you told her.
In the plane for HongKong, you had decided to open up to Ji about your new feelings for him. Lately you had come to the conclusion that you were in love with him. What you thought was just a mere flirt at the beginning, soon turned out to be much more. It was love, with capital A. You had taken your time to analyse your feelings but it was kind of obvious.  You were just not accepting the fact before, even though you were facing all the proof. 
What is the first thing that comes to your mind in the morning? Jiyong.
Who do you want to hug when you feel the need to snuggle against someone? Ji.
Who’s hand do you want to hold, when you walk on the street or discover a new city? Yep! Jiyong again.
Who do you want to make love to, when you feel that need between your legs?
Who makes your heart skip a beat because of his cuteness?
Who makes you a horny mess when he smiles?
Who do you think will be the father of your children, when you imagine yourself nursing a baby?
 Ji, Ji and Ji. Always him. He was your soulmate and the guardian of your heart. You couldn’t imagine a moment without him in your life. You wanted more. You wanted to take all of him. You had no choice but to tell him, you were not able to keep it for yourself anyway. He had even questioned you about the recent changes in your attitude. Soon, you won’t be able to hide it anymore, you rather should tell him while you were still having control over yourself. You were really scared of his possible rejection though. It was petrifying. But the possibility that maybe he shared the love was stronger and it made you so happy to imagine what you could become together. How your friendship would transform into love. Into love making. Into a deeper relationship.
It was decided. You will confess tonight, in the hotel room after the party.  You’ll deal with the consequences later.
You were waiting for the boys in the suite that you had reserved. It was a simple room that the hotel rented for meetings or private events like tonight. Because it was Christmas, it was available and you didn’t have any trouble making a last minute reservation.
The door of the suite opened on Jiyong’s manager. He was aware of the little reception, you needed someone to drag the boys in. They entered the room one by one. You didn’t notice the happiness on their face when they discovered the 3 ladies waiting for them with food, alcohol and gifts, you were looking for Jiyong only. Unfortunately, he was nowhere to be found. Seunghun came and closed the door for more privacy, already having a glass of punch in hands.
“Wait, Ji has not arrived yet”.
His features went grave but his voice remained soft and calm. He seemed sad. He seemed to be pitying you too, his concerned eyes looking at you the same way you imagine he will be looking at his child when he’ll say “Santa Claus doesn’t exist for real”.
“He won’t be coming. He had other plans for tonight, something that popped up. I’m really sorry”
“Is he okay? Where is he?”
“This morning, he met a woman in the restaurant of the hotel. A cute damsel in distress. Well, one thing after another, it turned out that he invited her to the concert. And well… they left together, if you know what I mean”.
Your heart started to beat really fast. You didn’t like the turn of the conversation. Seunghyun’s sister covered her mouth with a hand, shocked, as she realized what her brother was telling you. It seemed that they knew about your feelings for Ji. Were you that obvious?
“Oooh… Maybe she can come here too” you said but it was absolutely not what you wanted.
“I guess they’re having sweet fucking sex” Dae laughed as he looked as his girlfriend, implying that it’s what he will have too, later!
“Woah… okay… okay”
You sat on the couch next to you and held your head. There is no way in hell that you will let your pain show in front of Jiyong’s friends.  But there was also no way you could stop the tears from falling down your cheeks. Without a word, you left the suite for the room that you rented, in case Ji would reject you. 
You were still crying, the next day when he had knocked on your door and entered your room, all excited and agitated like a puppy. More likely, like a man who hit the jackpot recently. He seemed so happy about the night he had spent, butterflies dancing in his stomach as he was telling you how cute she was. How he had spent the night of his life. How he couldn’t wait to see her again. He was so excited and centered towards his own happiness that he didn’t notice your red and bloody eyes.  
“Ji, don’t stay with me then. Go meet her right now! I guess she feels the same way and you’ll take it where you left it!”
“But you travelled all the way here and prepared such a sweet party for me and the boys! I saw the pictures, it seemed so much fun”. 
“Yah! I’d rather stay with your friends and mine, by the way, than staying a minute longer with you while you imagine yourself having sex with another woman”
“Another? It’s not like I had that many women either”
It was not the sense of your word ‘another’ but you didn’t precise it. The word had slipped your lips anyway.
“True, I’m sorry. Go, Ji! Live up for your dreams! Wout! Wout!”  you encourage him, fist up in the air with the biggest smile that you could to hide your sadness. Your eyes were your pain untold and you wish you would tell him everything.
“Sure, hun?”
“Yes, sure thing. We’re taking the plane tomorrow. If I don’t see you by then, here’s my new year kiss” you said, planting a smack on his cheek. You needed to kiss him and hold him, just for a second. To steal him from her and keep him for yourself only, a short instant.  
“Merry Christmas Ji. I love you so much” you whispered. Of course, he didn’t catch the extra meaning you had implied “And may the new year bring you only happy moments, you deserve it”.
“Aaaw, Merry Christmas my sweet girl. May the year bring you a man that will make you happy, for once. You were unlucky lately”.
You laughed ironically.
“Nah, I’ll be okay on my own for a while. Go now”. How could he have unnoticed that you were in pure agony? That your heart had been pierced with a thousand arrows? He was always so attentive normally. That was a good thing though, you prefer him to be happy with her than unhappy with you.
“Thanks, you’re the best friend ever, so understanding. I’ll tell you everything in detail later”.
“... Have fun”
He left in a hurry without a single look back and it broke what remained strong inside of you. You crumbled on the ground, unable to support your own body weight any longer. You never thought you could be rejected by him without having a single chance to say a word. You never thought you would be broken like that. You will need a lot of courage to be able to face him again. But also, it would be worse if he disappeared from your life. There was no perfect situation here, either way you were losing a part of yourself.
“That man is so fucking stupid” you heard Seunghyun tell his sister by the door Jiyong had left open a moment ago. . “How could he do that? Is he blind?"
You closed the door, you didn’t want to hear more.  You cried all day and night, curled up in the bed. You didn’t see Jiyong afterwards, while you were in Hong Kong. He didn’t come back from his cloud, therefore he didn’t come back to you. 
He had stayed in a relationship with her for a whole year. The exact time it took you to get over him. Or did you really?
Present day
You tiptoed your way to his bed and benched in front of him. His eyes were closed, he seemed to be asleep already. In his sleeping state, he was frowning, this was unusual.
He was not but he didn’t say a word, still mad and shocked. He didn’t know how to deal with it, his sudden desire for you. He couldn’t just say “let’s fuck” and then pretend like nothing happened afterward, your friendship was on the line. The only time that something happened between you, something sexual, there was a context. And you didn’t ‘really’ do something together anyway. How can’t he forget about it? How can’t he put it aside and move on? Why was he trying to relive this with his partners afterward? But of course, it was impossible, they were just not you. He realised it now! If it was not that good with them, it’s because they were simply not the good person. They were not you.
“Ji, are you okay?” he heard you ask with worry.
No answer. 
You placed a hand on his forehead to see if he had a fever. Satisfied by his body temperature, you retracted your hand with much concern. You knew him way too much to buy his sleeping state.
“Ji, I’m scared, you didn’t seem well tonight, you were really pale. I will sleep by your side to check on you, do you mind? Like we did before, when we checked on my niece. Okay? I can’t guarantee that I’ll be as good as you were though.”
No answer. 
He clearly didn’t want to talk to you. Or was he sick and had passed away? 
“If you don’t want to, it’s okay. I’ll squat the couch or the bed in the guest room. But the couch is more comfy. Would you prefer if I leave your house? The temperature is still bad outside but I don’t want you to be uncomfortable around me”
“Y/n, can you jump on the bed and shut the hell up so I can go back to sleep”? his tone was harsh.
Shocked, not sure how to take it, you did as he said and waited there, looking at the ceiling. You were cold but didn’t want to move or even less, to slide yourself under the comforter where he seemed so comfortable and warm. He was facing the other side and you could almost hear him thinking. The cat came in the bed and sat on his master’s pillow. Jiyong sighted, chased A-Ye and turned on his back. He didn’t say a word, didn’t look at you, didn’t move a single muscle afterwards.
It’s his sweet giggle that woke you up in the middle of the night. You had fallen asleep but obviously, he didn’t. From the lamp sitting on the bedside table emanated a warm and felted light. Jiyong was eating ramyeons while watching something on his cell. Confused, you sat up and rubbed your eyes.
“You seem better, it’s a relief”.
 “I just realised something. Remember the other day when I joked about your google research?”
“YAH! How many times do I have to tell you, I did NOT search for blowjobs instructions”.
“I know now!” he laughed.
What happened was that, about 2 months ago, you made a google research on your laptop while you were waiting for him at his studio. You had written “How to give a good head massage” but the research bubble showed everything but the important last word. The word that changed the meaning of the whole sentence.
He didn’t want to believe you even when you showed him the page with explicit pictures of the head massage popping from the screen. He thought that you had just opened it fast, to save the appearances. He had teased you for days with that, mocking you gently. 
“I told you that I wanted to use a new technique when I massage your head. You didn’t believe me”.
“Because I didn’t know you were massaging my head. Now, I get it”.
“Why didn’t you believe me?”.
“Why didn’t you massage my head when I’m awake?”
“I don’t know”
“I don’t know either”
Your eyes met and you both laughed out loud. You were happy to have your friend back, at least momentary. You still didn’t know what happened earlier.
“Will you stop mocking me with the blowjob thing, now?”.
“Yes, I already stopped when I noticed that you were mad for real… Sorry hun, I mocked you. I should have known better”.
“Excuses accepted. Now, let’s forget about it… please”.
He didn’t talk for a minute, you were both lost in your thoughts. You grabbed the chopsticks he was holding and swallowed a large portion of ramyeon, hungry.
“Ji”
“Hum?”
“Why were you mad at me tonight?”
“I was not mad at you at all, I was mad at myself”.
“Why though?”
“I’d rather not talk about it”.
“Okay then, but I’m here if you want to”.
“I know... Now go back to sleep and stop eating my ramyeons”.
“Nah, feed me more. I’m starving. AAAAAH” You opened your mouth for him to feed you one bite. He did and gave you his bowl and chopsticks without further discussion. He had decided to let you eat it all anyway. 
“Here, take it” 
“Mmmm, it’s delicious. Thanks Ji” 
He looked at you closing your eyes to savor the noodles, not a single bit conscious that it would break him. He was so naive. When he heard the little moan that escaped your lips after you took a bite, he remembered everything you had said when you were talking about the ‘not blowjob’ research.
“You know, I talk with my partners, it’s their ‘instructions’ that I follow, not general tips made for a general audience on the internet. I adjust with their reactions too. Nobody loves it the exact same way”.
“Ji, for god’s sake! I told you that yes, I searched for that a long time ago, when I was young. From that, I improved my technique and I didn’t feel the need to search again. I wouldn’t be shy to tell you if I would REALLY have searched for it”.
and later that night...
“Please don’t believe that I’m a pro either, I’m not that good! It’s just that I really didn’t search. You know what, now that I think about it, I should search for it. We never know, maybe I could still improve” with a blink. 
Eating your ramyeons with appetite, you were unaware of the thoughts spinning in his head. You didn’t know that your relation was about to take a complete new turn. That the image he had in his mind right was nothing but pure. You were also really naive.
2 years ago or the ocean event
Jiyong had decided to bring you to Hawaii like this, on the spur of the moment and for no actual good reason. Dae and his current conquest joined your improvised journey and the four of you had flight to the paradisiac island for a whole week of pure bliss. 
You closed the door of your room and went down to meet Ji. He texted you that he was already down there, ready for the beach like you had planned before you split last night after you took a walk in the streets with the natives. 
“Hun, were you able to sleep last night?'' he asked, rubbing his beautiful sleepy eyes when you met in the lobby. You walked outside and sat on a bench near the entrance to apply the sunscreen he handed you. Of course, he knew that you would have forgotten yours.
“Nope, there were people banging in the wall and screaming like if they were in distress or something. Did you hear that? Why did she have to yell like that? I would have shove my dick in her mouth if I was her partner, at least she would have shut the fuck up. It was so fake!”
“Woah! You’re violent! Good thing that you don’t have a dick.  Don’t judge, you were not there. It’s just her way of expressing her pleasure, chill hun! No one is hurt”.
“Her pleasure? For 4 hours straight like that, no change in the pace! Come on Ji, you know better! She yelled all night long, how could that even be possible? No rupture in the tempo… No break, no slowing down, no changes in the play, nothing. It was fake, I’m telling you.  Maybe they were filming porn…”
He laughed, you continued.
“In a way or another, she was annoying. But the bitch got fucked and not me. I guess that’s the reason why I’m so pissed” you added. Seeing his eyes widened, you smiled.
“What? I have needs too”
“I don’t want to know” he giggled, placing his hands over his ears. At this moment, Daesung arrived and sat between you and Ji. Looking at one after the other, seemingly in shock.
“Did you hear it?”
“We did” you answered, ready to complain with him.
“It was sooo hot, right? Woah! It gave me and Shirl a lot of audio stimulations. It was nice, we kind of followed their rhythm.” he seemed shocked but pleased at the same time. Without another word, he stood up and left abruptly. You watched him leave in silence.
“Ji, I hate all the couples in the world. All of them”.
“Someone is not in a good mood today. When is the last time you got laid, I can’t pinpoint it”
“Because I never tell you when I do, we don’t talk about stuff like that… but it was a long time. Maybe last year or something”
You were in a relationship with a beautiful man when you had realised that you were in love with Jiyong last year. You were still trying to forget Jiyong, compelling yourself to stop loving him. It was impossible.
“Damn… it’s been a long time. So, your last boyfriend then”.
“Yep… I won’t ask you since you were in a relationship till recently”
“True, she was the last one. 2 months is long... Wait, where are you going???”
“I’m going to calm my hormones in the ocean. I’m suddenly horny and need a distraction. Hopefully the water will be cold enough”
“I’ll go with you, I need it too”
You entered the water running and laughing like kids. You felt light, like there was nothing going wrong in your life or in the entire world. You felt detached from reality but in a good way. The flowing of the tide was languorous, the ocean was forging its own sea-song.  The freshness of the water was invigorating. For at least an hour, you and Jiyong had bickered and played around, alone in your own little universe. You threw water at each other’s face, tried to immerse the other into the water, tried to surf on a cheap plastic plank that was abandoned on the shore, falling on each attempt and laughing like you didn’t have the chance to, lately. The only time you were out of the water was to take a sip of your drink that Daesung was keeping safe for you while sunbathing with Shirlee. It wasn’t quite a good idea to drink that much alcohol when horny … not a good idea at all. 
“Y/n… It didn’t work!” Jiyong said sheepishly.
“I mean it’s water,  it’s slippery… How could it worked” you answered, knowing exactly what he meant. 
“Water turns you on?”
“Damn… not the water itself. But a wet body against another wet body… I mean… Oh, shit! I didn’t mean that you turned me on, it’s not like that. It just reminded me of, you know… things I did in the past” 
It was a big fat lie. You never had sex in the water. But you won’t tell him that his hot and wet skin against yours made you even more needy than you were before. That the water dripping from his bang was sexy. That his muscular arms, shoulders and those damn abs were giving you bad thoughts. You couldn’t tell him anything like that.
“What are we gonna do about it?”
“I won’t do anything, what do you mean?”
“Well… maybe if we turn our back on each other, we can, you know… relieve ourselves. Together, doing our own little things but not... ”
“I got it Ji, no need to say more…”
Was it alcohol? The burning sun? His cute and so sexy smirk? For a moment, you played with the idea. Jiyong had reserved the most private resort he could find in the country and the beach was almost empty. You could see some people away but no one close enough to see anything that you were doing on the beach even less in the water. Some staff members were walking around, doing their own little things. No one cared about what you were doing. Beside, the water was deep blue and it was impossible to see through it.  You could easily jerk yourself off under the depth water and no one would notice.
“But if we turn around, Daesung will get suspicious, he will think we fight and start asking questions. He’s watching over us, you know”.
“Yes… But I can’t get out of the water hun, my cock refused to calm down”.
“You have a big problem, man. I’m so sorry for you” you mocked.
“You’re not helping at all” he was almost annoyed. You understood how he felt, after all, you were horny too. You were both adults, there must be a solution. After all, he proposed something interesting.
“Ji, you know, your hands are in the water right now and I see nothing. Go a little deeper, we won’t notice your arms and shoulders. Turn the other way around, that way you won’t see me while you… you know. I won’t see anything for sure. Don’t worry. Do what you have to do, I won’t look”
“Are you serious? What about you?”
“I’ll be just fine, no worry. I can wait for when I’m in my room”.
“Sure? Ok, you’re amazing!” he smiled widely.
You didn’t know it but as soon as he turned around, he was not so into it anymore. Maybe it was the thought of doing it with someone that was so exciting. A cute and stunning lady… so sexy in her bikini.
You had turned around to let him do his thing but horny you were too. Not to mention, Jiyong, the man you loved in silence for a complete year was about to stroke himself right now, you won’t miss it so you swan towards him. He was in a deep zone, but still able to touch the ground unlike you. You arrived from behind and hugged him tightly, your arms snaked around his neck, your knees keeping balance on each side of his hips, carefully not circling him.
“Is it good?” you murmured.
“What are you doing?”
“Joining the party” You didn’t know, but there was no party so far. His penis had even softened back to its almost normal size.
“Ooooh….”
Where Jiyong was standing you couldn’t reach the bottom, the water level reached your mouth, you tried and you choke on the salted water. You had to keep a hand on him.
“Hun, stay where you are, let’s do it together, but not together. Is it okay with you?”
“Oh Jiiii… I’ve already started” you purred.
“But you’re holding me…”
“Yes, I’m holding you. I won’t drown for an orgasm”.
“Fair enough… I shall get going too, then”
He was clearly not as cocky as he was 2 minutes ago. You figured that you surprised him with your initiative.
“If you prefer, I’ll leave you alone, no worry”.
“You know, I have a voyeur side inside of me, I love this idea too much to let you go”
“Good, cause I’m a tiny bit of an exhibisionnist… well, a big bit finally” you cutely added, knowing it was not an actual word.
He smiled and looked at you above his shoulder, shocked but excited to discover that spicy side of yours.
“Perfect match then” he stated.
“Turn your face around, put your hand on your dick and stroke yourself… let me do my thing…” you palmed his neck and guided his face the other way around so he would be looking at the ocean instead at you, holding onto his back like a baby koala.
“Lord, help me cause I’m a sinner”
He attentively tried to catch a hint on what was happening on his back. You were holding onto his shoulder with one hand and he didn’t see anything, didn’t feel anything. You were cautious not to make any wave. He wanted more visuals, not that he needed it. Just to add some zest to the experience.
“Are you doing it?” The tone of his voice, his signature soft voice, was the most comforting and exciting thing at the same time. He had the cutest and the sexiest tone ever.
“Ji, shut the fuck up”, you said a little short of breathe. So, you had started, he thought.
“Come on, give me something, love. Are you really masturbating?”
You stopped and this is when he noticed the difference of motion in his back, the difference of pressure your knees applied on his hips in order to stay still despite the waves. Suddenly, it was quieter, this is how he knew that indeed, you were doing it subtly.
“You want me to leave you alone?”
He turned around abruptly. Now facing you, the lust in his dark chocolate eyes was sparkling. A sight that you imagined so often, lightning up his beautiful features for your eyes only to see. Not to mention the sunlight gently caressing his skin. His eyes half closed because of the sun. His damped messy hair carelessly falling on his forehead and temples. This vision itself was enough for your heart to melt and your core to liquefy.
“Y/n, I don’t want you to leave. It’s just that I didn’t know if you were doing it for real, I want, I don’t know… I would like...”
“Don’t hold back, tell me exactly what you want, cause I’m horny here and I need to do something about it” you told him as you touched your thigh, a soft caress along your skin, looking straight into his eyes. You didn’t begin but you knew that the moment to come will be pure. Unselfish. Undemanding. Free.
He looked at the movement of your shoulder, he couldn’t see below that level. He wished he had chosen a turquoise and clear sea to be able to see everything that was happening under.
“I’m not sure of what I can ask in this kind of situation”
“Just if you still really want to, think of us as partners in crime.  We’re 2 needy adults that consent to masturbate side by side. We won’t touch each other, just be together while we’re both having fun with ourselves like you just suggested. Let’s say that everything that happens in the ocean, stays here in the ocean. We won’t remember it once we reach the shore and we’ll never talk about it anymore. Deal?”
“You’re wonderful. Deal”
“Now… close your eyes and touch yourself”.
Strangely, you were not uncomfortable with the situation. You knew that no matter what happened, you would be safe and respected. He would never mock you or judge you. You were free to be and act in complete harmony with your desires, without holding anything back. It was the perfect foundation for a meaningful dirty play. In that moment, your chemistry became an ever-bright flame.
He moved his hand down but refused to look anywhere but straight to your eyes. He never saw that luxurious expression on your face, never heard that carnal voice, almost too low to be heard. He needed to hear you moan. Were you the type to hold back because too shy to be heard? He doubts that, now. He wonders if you were more of a high-pitched sounds or a guttural moaner. Suddenly, it was the most important question to be answered.
“What are you doing?” This is when the now ‘face to face’ thing became more interactive. His piercing gaze was on you, it’s you that he was looking at, no one else. 
You smirked. He wanted to play that game, well you were hell of a player!
“You wanna know how I touch myself?” your voice was a low murmur, it sent shivers down his spine.
“Yes, tell me…” he gulped, unable to guess what was ‘really’ happening under the blue sea. How do you like to be caressed? What makes you cum?
“Right now, I’m taking it really slow and superficial…”
You paused to breathe. For obvious reasons, the oxygen demand in your cells has increased with all the symptoms that comes with it: fast heartbeat, short breath, your senses on red alert. 
 “I’m too excited, the second I touch my clit or slide a finger in, I will cum. I love that you’re asking me. It’s fucking hot” you miraculously were able to say.
“Your answer is hotter, believe me. You look really beautiful like that… So sexy…  tell me in detail everything that you’re doing”.
“I’m pinching my clit, I need to calm down... now squeezing it between my palms, it’s good” you moan softly. After a moment you shivered and it seemed that you stopped touching yourself, taking your hand out of the water to show him. 
“You were about to cum?” he smirked
“Fuck yes”.
“You love to touch yourself with me? You love that I look at you pleasuring yourself?”
You nodded, nothing else needed to be said. He grabbed your free hand, your right one, and nibbled every single fingertips, sucking gently. 
“It doesn’t taste anything but salt, damn it!”
His longing eyes never left yours. Just that, him desiring you, dirty talking to you, was sending you over the moon. He gently guided your hand in front of your core and his came back where it was: on your hip.
 “Jiii… now, I’m scratching it all with my nails, it hurts and it’s fun at the same time… ”
“YOU WHAT? Woah! You love when it’s painful?” he exclaimed, shocked. You were not exactly how he imagined you would be, sexually speaking. To be honest, he thought you were a sweet vanilla girl, one that prefers convenient sex more. That frosted side that he was discovering, pleased him a lot. 
“I love it when it hurts a little bit… I love when it burns… I love when it’s sucked hard. What are you doing?” you breathe slowly between each affirmation.
“Looking at you only, at the moment… I think I will cum in my pants just like that! Hands free orgasm! I bet your clit is swollen right now...”
“Let me see… oooh yes... It’s really sensitive. I’m tracing small lines up and down, it feels good. I won’t last long… I let my nail trails his way up… omph”
Your clit was indeed overflowing with blood. Knowing that Jiyong was watching made you more sensitive than you ever was before. Now that it has started, there was no way out of the game. You couldn't move away from his gaze even if you tried, like he’s eyes have short circuited your mind in the best possible way.
“So beautiful... Do you imagine your fingers to be someone else?”
“Nah! I’m right here with you, it’s already really arousing”
Of course, you won’t tell him that it’s his fingers that you imagine as you rubbed smooth circles across your clit. 
“Ji… It’s good… Now, I slide 3 fingers in… it’s so good… Jiii… I’m gonna cum… Oh lord… I knew I wouldn’t last” 
“I can see it… I feel your hips love… I bet you’re thrusting to meet your fingers, right? … you’re so hot”
You closed your eyes as you locked your hips against your hand, hitting your spot right away. With Jiyong’s obvious enjoyment, the ultimate pleasure hit you. You quivered erratically and in the process you pressed yourself against him.  His wet and slippery chest against yours was enough material for your next 5000 lonely nights. When your mouth founded his shoulder, you sank your teeth onto the trapeze muscle and took a big bite of him. You needed it to suppress your moans. He continued to encourage you, despite the pain.
“Don’t stop now, I’m sure you can surf on it a little longer… that’s it love… Softs movements this time, give yourself some tenderness, my wild flower… softer with your teeth too, please” he asked, cutely and you released some pressure on your teeth but kept your mouth there. “That’s it, moan for me… you make the hottest sounds I’ve ever heard”.
He was right, the orgasm lasted for a little while. Jiyong was holding you firmly against him, his head tilted against yours as he whispered sweet dirty words.You stopped the motion of your hand and stayed like that, holding onto him tightly. Pressing your whole self against his perfectly sculpted body. His soft skin. His melodic speaking voice. You needed time to calm your breath and heartbeat.  It was a one shot deal, you decided that you will take the best out of it for the time it lasts. Therefore, you snaked your arms around his neck, cautious not to touch his middle where his length was probably throbbing. The thought of it made you almost cum again, it certainly didn’t calm the fire that was still burning. Exhausted and feeling really brave, you’ll deal with the consequences later, your nose found the crook of his neck and you nuzzled against his watered and sun warmed skin, drops falling down on both of you from his damped and sexy hair. This intimate and loving contact was risky for your heart but his neck was so prettily offered, you couldn’t resist. It was hard not to nibble onto him. To kiss him. To taste him. To tell him that you love him.
You breathed slowly in his warmth for a moment, your body still trembling softly from the powerful orgasm you just had but mostly because of the proximity with him. The sensation of his strong arm holding your laps against his side while the other rested on the curve of your back, it was overwhelming.
“Your turn, now!” he needed his relief too, you hoped that you will be as hot for him as he was for you.
“Yes love, but can I do something first? You don’t have to say yes. I would like...”
“Don’t ask my permission, it’s our moment and I doubt that you want to do something that will harm me. Just do it”
He smirked, a fucking smirk that would have put you on your knees. A smirk that was never directed to you before. His hungry eyes were half closed but his gaze remained sharp. He was perfect. You felt his hands slide under your arms and played with the bikini top on your back.
“I want to feel you against me, may I?”
“Help yourself” you smiled, letting him play with the fabric of your top. It was so tiny, his fingers were gracing your skin and just that little contact was electrifying.
“What’s going on Ji? Is there a problem?” You teased as you joined your hands on the back of his neck, forearms on his shoulders. 
“Hun, where is the tie?” 
It was your turn to smirk. He frowned, scrutinizing your face. You were preparing something, it was obvious. 
“Remember my bikini? The knot under my boobs is what you’re looking for”.
“Oh my god! Like a bow on a gift! Isn’t easy to pull on a string and strip your boobs naked”
“Han, han!” you purred, with a tone that implied that you didn’t mind the strip tease. You teasingly stroked his calf with your foot. “So, what are you gonna do about it? If you want to feel my chest against yours, you know what you have to do”, you said, defying him.
“Are you challenging me?” he asked as his hands found your neck. His thumb traced a line down your throat and went lower to the swell of your breast. A soft and light caress, almost too soft to be felt. He wanted to tease you too, you were way too cocky and he needed to show you how he too, could be in control.
“Who’s challenging who now? You’d like me to pinch those nipples, right? To rub them between my fingers”
He said as he brought both hands in front of your boobs as if he wanted to grab them. But he never touched you. He stayed close enough for you to feel his warmth, feel a little contact here and there throughout the thin fabric, but never touching you for real.
“I’m sure you have a sensitive breast and that you are screaming from the inside right now. You would like to be touched so badly. Am I right?”
“...” excited at the idea, you could do nothing but grasp.
“Answer me, love”
“Yes, I would love your hands on my breast” you gulped.
“Well, too bad, you set the no touching rule” he winked “But I’ll free them and you’ll soon feel me, don’t worry”. It was ‘his turn’ and yet, you felt the center of the attention. The tables had to turn. 
His fingers slid down your breastbone, caressing your skin. There, he was touching you for real and it put you on fire again. He knew what he was doing, he noticed your shivers. When he found the bow, tied just under the swelling of your breasts, he had fun with the fabric before tearing the cords apart. Very slowly he pushed your bikini top to the side, his eyes on yours.
“So sensitive”
“Remember Ji, it’s no touching and no looking.” 
“You’ll be the end of me, you little brat”
He wasted no more time. With one hand, he grabbed you by the hip and dragged you closer. He turned his feet to the side to move his pelvis away from you and surrendered completely to what was to follow.
“Can I guide you?” You asked timidly.
“Yes, I’ve never tried that… Go ahead, be my hand”.
It was true. He had met willing women before but never playful the way you were. You were a mixture of sexy, dominant, cute and submissive. You loved it rough too, it seemed, even though what you were doing was quite soft. A perfect match for him.
“You’ll do exactly what I tell you to do. Okay?”
“Of course”
“Good… Let’s go… are you touching yourself right now?”
He showed you his free hand, the one not holding you.
“Let’s switch hands. I want you to hold your dick with your left…”
“YAH! Why my left? It’s not the good hand” he interrupted
“Oh, I know that” you winked “Go, now. Good!”
He sulked in annoyance but was ready to follow your lead nevertheless so he had switched arms. His right one was holding you against him, on that he won’t compromise.
“Very good Ji, let’s run your thumb on the tip slowly. Is it good?”
“Don’t apply much pressure on your shaft, keep your hand loose around it. We’re taking it slow!”
“I feel so vulnerable and so powerful at the same time, it’s ecstatic… I want more, give me more”
“ Shhhhh, one thing at the time. Don’t go too hard on it ok, gentle touch. Grab the skin between your penis and balls. Squeeze gently. Use your fingertips, it’s good, I see you love it. Palm it gently while your fingers tickle your balls… good… your face is telling me that we are doing a good job” he had closed his eyes shut. His breathing increased already.
“I need more”
“You’ll have more, shut it. Don’t hold your moans back though, ok? I want to hear your pleasure. Not too loud… that’s it, in my ear”.
“Baby can I stroke myself?”
“No, you can’t! Let go of me, I’ll stay in place no worry, look I’m rubbing myself against you… Good… Put your penis between your palms and roll your hands in opposite directions. If you like when it hurts, put more pressure, roll… roll… roll…” 
His face twisted in pleasure, moans slipping from his lips.
“Never done that to my dick, it feels good. Is this how you give a handjob?”
“I might do it, yes”
“mmmm, it feels so good baby… aaah”
You let him proceed and before you noticed a sign of impatience, you continued.
“Now, if you’ve never touched yourself like that, or never been touched like that, it might seem surprising. But obey, it will be good”
Curious, he opened his eyes and looked at you smirking.
“Okay…”
“Take your glands between your thumb and index and squeeze very geltly. Apply this pressure all around the circumference. Don’t brush your fingers together, it will hurt. Just put pressure. Squeeze... Are you there? Keep your fingers smooth but be firm on the grip. Press firmly.”
“It feels so good… aaah”
 “Apply as much pressure as you can take. It has to be a little painful, but just a little Ji, we want it to be fun”.
The only sounds slipping from his lips were soft moans. He seemed to enjoy the touch. Maybe you surprised him. You hope you did.
“Open your eyes Ji. I want you to know that it’s with me that you are jerking off with. Keep those eyes on me”.
“Of course it’s you… you’re the only one here with me”
“I certainly hope so. Now, circle the base of your cock with your thumb and one finger, only one. Don’t put too much pressure. Are you doing it?”
“Yes…”
“Move your hips back-and-forth. Fuck your own hand slowly, gently… Good job! It’s increasing, isn't it?”
“Yes, I could cum like that”
“Then loosen your fingers, loosen it right now!”
“I fucking hate you”  he was frustrated but he obeyed nevertheless.
“I know you do, I know… I’m so mean when you were so good for me” you took your sweetest voice, your innocent voice. One that he didn’t know you had.
“Keep your fingers loose and pump now, real slow. How does it feel?
“Way too good… but it’s not my hand”
“Ooooh, may I ask?”
“Yours” he said, looking straight into your eyes, waiting for your reaction. You blush, shy.
“Does my hand feel good, around your cock?” you were already back to the play.
“It feels better than mine...” he murmured. 
“Amazing, now, put more pressure around your cock and go just a little faster with those hips. Fuck yourself in my hand”
He moaned, sweet sounds falling from his lips. You pressed yourself against him, your hard nipples caressing him as you both breathed in and out slowly.
“You love it, when I guide you?” you whispered in his ear.
“mmm” he moaned
“Use your words”
His eyes started to roll back, aroused. It was beautiful to witness.  He was weak on his legs, holding still with a solid grip on your hip. 
“I love when you guide me”.
“I can see that you do. Let go of your cock and play with your balls a bit. Squeeze them. Feel their weight”
“Jesus Christ… I was about to cum
“Oh, I know” you teased murmured in his ear. “But I’m not ready to let you  just yet. Are you playing with your balls?”
 “Hum, hum...I never loved to play with my own balls before today…”
“Can you use both hands? Yes? okay. Grab your cock with your fist and stroke not so gently while the other hand squeeze your balls… good, you’re doing good… Stroke again slowly but with a strong grip. Ji, slow down, I see you are cheating. Good… Twist your shaft when you come up, slowly, does it feel good?” His grin told you that he really enjoyed it.
“Yes…. ah… Y/n,  you’re evilish”
His sweet sounds, his voice that you always found so soothing, was now turning you on, it lit a fire between your legs. Again.
“Faster baby, faster…. Now stop”
“What? No…I can’t stop” he continued to stroke, you could tell by the movement of his shoulder.
“No?” 
“Y/n… I’m… aaaah… Argh” he could barely stay on his feet while he ejaculated in a violent burst, screaming your name out loud.
“ARE YOU GUYS OKAY”? You heard Daesung asked from the beach.
“DON’T WORRY DAE, HE WALKED ON A SHELL” you answered, your eyes on Ji. 
The sight of him as he reached his orgasm was the definition of beauty and hotness. He was perfect and so was the moment. His head tilted to the side and his mouth twisted open, he was in a blissful agony.
“aaah… aaaah”
“Don’t you dare stop moving your hand, you have more juices, I’m sure of it. Feel me against you, imagine it’s my hand, mouth, core… Whatever you prefer but keep going. I want you to empty that load… Stroke yourself… continue”
One last softer moan, a great final thrill and he was done. You felt his whole body relax against yours and his face fell on your shoulder, panting. He kissed it gently as soon as his lips landed on your skin. He was breathing heavily in your ear, the most endearing melody of them all. Combined with the murmur of the waves, it couldn’t be more perfect.
You were not sure if your heart would survive this. Not sure at all that you will be okay with him, having a girlfriend later, now that you know how he sounds like when he was having sex. How he feels. How he looks. How playful he was. You don’t think that you will be able to breathe, imagining him with another woman. Making love to her… No, you don’t have the right to think like that… You were just a lost case.
You moved away from him and gave him your most reassuring smile. He cannot know what’s got into your mind right now. That suddenly, instead of letting go of him, you would do the exact contrary. You would snuggle yourself against him and stay there forever and ever, in the comfort of his arms. 
“Thank you, it was… I have no words. And we didn’t even touch!”
“I know, right?” 
“Will you be okay with it? At home, I mean”.
“Absolutely” you lied “You?”
“Okay, good then. Good. Me too.” He showed no signs that it could be otherwise.
Both amazed by what just happened, you walk away from each other. Reality was hitting you both and you didn’t seem to want that moment to end. Neither of you. But you had to go back to your reality now.
You wanted to fix your bikini top but he stopped you, grabbing your hand between his, keeping them against his chest.
“Let me do it, hun. With the non touching thing and in the middle of the ocean, the aftercare are limited. At least, let me put it back in place for you”.
You nodded, he continued.
“You’re okay? Are you always that rough with yourself?” he asked as you placed the triangle back in place, this you won’t let him do. You felt no judgement in his tone though, just curiosity.
“I was not rough today, Ji. I even showed you my vanilla side”.
“What we did was soft, I agree. But the way you caress yourself, and me indirectly, it was not the softest touch. I didn’t know you had that in you. It was nice, I loved it”.
“Agreed, it was really nice”.
He tied the knot back in place between your boobs. After one look to approve his doing, he declared that you were all good to get out of the tub.
“Do you regret it?”
“I don’t. You?”
“Nope”
“What happened in the water stays in the water?”
“Absolutely. Let’s forget it ever happened even though it will be rough”.
 You swam towards the shore gently, side by side, as if nothing sexual ever happened. 
“Do I have a mark on my shoulder”.
“Oooh, that? Oopsie” you answered cutely. 
“You think you’re a shark or something? Jesus, it will hurt for days”
“I’m sorry but not sorry at the same time, it’s hard to explain” you teased.
“You little brat”
“Am I?” You shrugged  “But how are you gonna hide it from Dae?”
“I won’t, I’ll say that I’ve been bitten by a fish. Even better! I’ll say that mama shark bite me”
You both laughed and you realised that he had swam behind you. Snaking his arms around your waist, he said 
“Thanks Y/n, seriously. I won’t talk about it, it’s the deal. But it will be really hard to forget”
“Agreed. Thanks to you too, it wouldn’t have been that magical without you”.
Even though you didn’t really touch each other, you felt connected to him in the most beautiful and voluptuous way. A bittersweet feeling invaded you. You didn’t regret what happened but you wish you could have more of him. All of him. His love, for example. 
Before you parted, the aching to be in his arms began anew.
Present day
When you opened your eyes later that morning, you were laid under his comforter. For some reason, at the end of the night you were agitated in your sleep and couldn’t rest comfortably.  It gave you a weird feeling of anxiety. Was it because you were in Jiyong’s bed? In 5 years of friendship, the only time that you found yourself here was when your niece got sick. More likely, pretended to be dying from a runny nose just to be taken care of by the man of her dreams, the one and only Jiyong oppa, as she called him so cutely. Jiyong was so endearing to watch as he rubbed camphre on her back with caring hands. He was taking care of the sick little princess as if she was really dying. It was touching and cute and adorable. It’s probably then that you realised that he was the man you loved. Damn, it was already 3 years ago, how can time fly that fast?
“What makes you smile like that” his voice was sleepy and soft. So soothing and familiar that you calmed down a bit. At least, felt less out of place.
“I just remembered when the little princess slept here, between us. She used all sorts of tricks to get you to take care of her. Damn, I should learn from her, she can get what she wants just clicking her little chubby fingers. She mastered the art” you joked.
“Aaaw! She was so sweet. It was fun to take care of her with you. I felt like I was a king”
You burst out laughing. 
 “Duh! I couldn’t take care of her, she only wanted you. Jiyong oppa here, Jiyong oppa there”.
You turned to face him, holding your head in your hand. It seemed that he was awake for a little while, he had filled an entire notebook with lyrics, drawings and song ideas.
“You couldn’t sleep”? you asked, reaching out to pull back a strand of hair that was falling before his eyes. 
“Nope, you snore too much,” he joked as he felt one finger grazing his skin. How could such a simple contact could feel so good? Because it was you, probably.
You knew he was teasing you. For some reasons, you felt the need to get closer to him. To cuddle up with him. To show him that whatever happened last night, you were there, by his side. But not knowing how he would react, you restrained yourself from doing it.
“Jiyong, can you believe that in 5 years, it’s the second time that I sleep in your bed? It’s so comfy, we should be doing it more often”
“You… you want to sleep in my bed?”
“Relax loverboy, I said it like that. I just realised that whenever I sleep here, it’s always on the couch… I didn’t mean anything. Anyway. I’ll get going, I have to work in the afternoon”. 
“Already? Normally you stay a little longer. Can you stay a little longer?”
“What’s gotten into you? Last night you didn’t talk to me. This morning I want to let you have your space and you want me to stay. I’m not following, Ji”.
“Well, I really want you to stay. I need to clear up my mind. I need to…” he stopped when your body crashed against his. His hands came to rest on your back, his nose on the top of your head. You felt so good against him with your scent invading him, it was endearing. He knew your intention was to comfort him. He knew you were just worried, thinking that something bad was going on. Maybe that was it, after all. Maybe it will soon be the end of your friendship because of his stupid ass. 
“I’ll stay like that for 5 minutes, then I’ll leave. I really need to get going, I have some shopping to do before my shift. If you want to talk, I’m here. Otherwise, I’ll just listen to your heartbeat and relax before the day starts. You’re so comfy, Ji.” 
You snuggled closer against him. His delicate smell was so familiar and appealing at the same time. You didn’t know where to place your hands, though. Hugging was not a habit of yours. Even less hugging in bed like that. In what situation did he put himself, he wondered. 
“I might have a question… Do you remember what happened in Jeju Island last year? Do you remember the kiss that we shared?”
You froze. You didn’t see it coming at all. Why asking you this after all this time? You coughed, sign that you were uncomfortable. Clearly, you knew what he was talking about. And your little cough won’t be unnoticed or misinterpreted by his sharp ass. He continued.
“Do you think about it, sometimes?”
“No, why would I?” you giggled, nervously. There was nothing funny with his question. “Sorry Ji, I didn’t mean to laugh, it’s not funny. You caught me by surprise”
“I do, think about it… From time to time, I do. Lately, I think about it even more often”
You moved away from him and laid on your back. You shouldn’t have come in his bed last night. You had crossed a line and it could be misinterpreted by him. What have you done?
“Why, though?" 
“Do I need a reason to remember good memories? You know, it was not a simple peck, it was so passionate and emotional. I’ve never been kissed like that before or after. Of course, I will think about it”.
“Well, yes, I do think about it too, indeed”.
Your eyes met his. He seemed sad, desperate and shocked. Something was happening in his life and he needed to remember comforting moments, you thought. Maybe he felt that raw and pure love that you had for him, when you kissed. 
“You loved it?”
“What’s that question? Ji, you’re making me feel uncomfortable. You were there, do I really have to tell you how I felt? Didn’t you feel me? See me? I have nothing to add.”
“Don’t be mad at me, please. I was just… I don’t know. But please, I beg you, don’t be mad at me today”.
“I’m not mad, I just don’t want to think about it, it won’t do any good. Listen, I have to go. I forgot that I have to give a lift to a coworker”.
“You’re running away from me” he said, grabbing your side to keep you from standing up.
“Yes. I am, I admit”.
“Please don’t leave me like that”
“Ji, I will be back, I’m not cutting ties with you. I just need to work. And when we meet again, I don’t want you to remember that kiss… or talk about it”.
“Then, what about the other thing we did, in the ocean?”
“Ji, stop. I don’t want to remember any of it….”
“Why? Do you regret what we did?” he wondered.
You tried to escape the bed but he dragged you closer to him instead. He captured you in his arms and kept you there. You still felt safe and you knew that he would let go of you the second you ask for it. Despite, you didn’t move back. 
“I promise I won’t talk about any of it… But, please. Can I please hug you a little longer. I need to… I just need it”.
He was so emotionally raw that you couldn’t refuse. After all, you will never be able to escape Jiyong for good, will never have the wish to do so anyway. You relaxed in his arms and gently leaned your head on the same pillow as him. He felt all the muscles of your body relax at the same time and you melted in his arms, cute little spoon that you were. Finally, you had let go.
“I lied. Not only do I want to talk about it, I also want to do it again. I want to do it all the time” he said. But it’s your cute little snore that answered on your behalf. You had fallen asleep, in the security of his arms.
“You chose your moment to fall asleep, you little brat” he laughed. 
It was a good thing that you didn’t hear it. It won’t risk your friendship for a dirty play. He couldn’t lose you, you were too important for him. He won’t let that happen. With a kiss on your head, he pressed his legs against the back of yours. Then, he abandoned himself to sleep, too.
Last year, sharing one hot kiss.
With a bunch of friends, you had rented a few condos units in Jeju Island to celebrate Jiyong’s birthday. He had a girlfriend at that time but it’s during this week-end that she had decided to break up with him, telling him that he was “too much to handle” for her liking.
What was supposed to be a fun week-end, turned out to be a blast for everybody except for Jiyong and you. How were you supposed to be happy when your best friend was crying alone outside in the dark.
“Leave me alone, Y/n. I just need some time”.
“I know, don’t worry, I only brought you a blanket, it’s frisky tonight!”
He noticed that indeed, you had laid a big comfy blanket on his shoulders. You knew better than him! He was cold and didn’t even notice. He sighed, heavy.
“See? I didn’t realise that it was cold. How can I notice that she was unhappy with me when I can’t even notice when the temperature drops”
“Ji, I know it hurts, believe me, I know…”
“Duh! As far as I know, you’ve always been the one to leave.Have you ever been dumped?”
“No, I haven’t but I know how a one side love feels like”.
“You never told me that you were in love with someone that doesn’t love you back…” 
He was talking very slowly, struggling with his pronunciation. He probably won’t remember any of it tomorrow.
“I don’t tell you every single thing that happened to me. Listen, I’ll leave you alone. Text me if you need me, I’ll be here in a second”.
“Nah, stay here and share that bottle of vodka with me”.
He had caught sight of the bottle you were holding with one hand. Sitting by his side, you had handed him the precious liquid. He took a long sip, making an appreciation sound when he was done.
“Aaaah! Thanks, hun. The lost cause is happy”.
Judging by his speech and his general condition, it was far from his first consommation tonight. He was wasted. Once again, you stayed silent. You knew he was having an emotional breakdown right now, you’ve been there yourself. He was so in love with that model and he didn’t see it coming at all, of course he was broken. It was breaking your heart to see him that sad.
“You must be happy, right? You never loved her!”
“You think I’m happy when I can feel your sadness with every cell of my body?”
“You heard me”
“Jiyong, don’t go there. We’ll fight and I don’t want to fight with you”.
“Pfff. I know what you are thinking”.
“You don’t know, stop being like that”.
“Or what?” 
“Or nothing. Just stop. I explained myself many times before. You know why I never loved her. But she seemed to make you happy so I was making great efforts not to get in your way”.
“Ooooh, is this why I didn’t see you the last month or so?”
“Damn, didn't you realize that I had been discreet so as not to harm your relationship with the asshole”?
“I told you, I’m too stupid to realise what’s under my nose. She is right, I didn’t take good care of her”.
“Okay, Ji, that’s enough. She was a manipulative woman, she was using you to boost her own career. You did everything to please her and yet she asked for more. I told you all that before but you didn’t believe me. Next time, trust my intuition. I’m never wrong”.
“I thought you were jealous”.
“I wasn’t jealous. I was mad because she was treating you badly and you refused to see it. But yes, you’re right too. I was jealous… I got to see you less because of her and it hurt. You didn’t even notice that I disappeared from your life, it pissed me not gonna lie”.
“Oh no! Shit. I’m gonna throw up”.
He did throw up for almost 30 minutes outside in the parking lot and even after, when he laid in bed. You couldn’t let him in that state, scared that he might vomit in his sleep and choke on it. That night, you didn’t close your eyes, looking out for him. Wiping his mouth after each puke, cleaning the floor, giving him water, meds and fresh linen for his forehead. You did it because this is how he deserves to be treated. With care and affection.
Just before going back in Seoul, as you were about to close the door of the condo that you had rented for yourself, he appeared behind you and snaked his arms around your chest, in a protective manner.
“Y/n… I want to thank you for staying by my side all this time. I know you wanted to try hitting on Jae but you couldn’t because of me.  Thanks, I really appreciate it. And I’ll invite him over for you to meet again.”
“Don’t mention it, it’s alright. And turns out that Jae is a douche, so forget it”.
“What happened?”
“Well, yesterday morning, he came out of his condo with 2 girls under his arms”.
“What’s the problem? If they all consented…” you closed the door and turned towards him. He was clearly not getting the point here.
“Problem is, he didn’t invited ME”
“Ooooh…. I see”.
“No, you cannot get it. You don’t know what it is because you have never experienced it. All the girls are at your feet. You enter a room and all eyes are on you. Women want you, men want you. Elders want you as their son-in-law. You don’t know what it’s like to feel ugly, unnoticed and unwanted. I’m sorry but you…”
You couldn’t finish your phrase. He stepped towards him and held your face in his chest, whispering soft words in your ears while you cried not so cutely. You felt good, thus wrapped in the comfort of his arms.
“We were 4 women Ji. Fucking 4. He invited 2 of them to his bed, the other one is Youngbae’s girl. You know what it means? Out of the three, I was the fucking last choice. How’s that?”
“I’m sorry hun, I really am. But maybe, he didn’t invite you because you were taking care of me. YES! That must be it. He invited them 2 to replace the only one he wanted to have sex with. See? It takes 2 to replace you!”. He wanted to cheer you up and it was working. 
“You’re silly” you smiled even though you knew he was wrong.
You had calmed down, so you stepped back from him. You were normally not cuddly with each other. Not that you didn’t like the contact, it was just like that. His arms didn’t feel uncomfortable but it was not fun either. The whole situation, the whole week-end was not.
As he looked into your sad eyes, he did the only thing that came into his mind. It was stupid to do but he didn’t had much time to think about it, he acted on an impulse.
“Well, now you will be able to say that you were kissed by the legendary G-Dragon”
And he had leaned in, lifting your chin up with his index. 
What he wanted to be a soft peck became a surprisingly hot and feverish kiss. One that normally leads directly to bed, don’t pass go, don’t claim 200 dollars. Whose tongue was inside the other’s mouth first? He couldn’t tell.  After a short moment, he had withdrawn in shock but when your finger traced the spot on your lips that he just left, he had no choice but to dive in for a second taste.  
It was delicious. He melted into you like ice-cream under the warm sun and so did you. He felt like he belonged next to you, and you next to him. It seemed that your lips were drawn to fit his. That your tongue was made to dance with his. That his hands were the perfect size to circle your waist. Not only your bodies were in perfect harmony, that kiss held the sweetness of your friendship combined with a million loving thoughts. It all condensed into a moment of burning heat.  
He had just felt your boobs pressed against him and your mouth against his neck, a delightful sensation, when you heard someone coming your way. Youngbae was coming out of his condo, he would soon turn the corner and discover you. Unfortunately, you had to split apart. To stop that fire that had ignited. That desire that consumed you. 
“Ji, we shouldn’t have crossed that line…” you pushed him away.
“I know. Let’s forget it happened” he answered in shock, not sure about what just happened and why it was not a good idea. It was so perfect, it couldn’t be a bad thing.
“Good idea” 
It seems that you were equally eager to end the conversation. Obviously, both for different reasons.
“Are you mad, Y/n?” he asked later, in the plane.
“Mad about what?”
“Duh, the kiss!”
“What kiss?” you answered, determined never to think about what had just happened.
To this day, you never said anything about it. It was almost like a faded dream. Did it ever happen? 
Present day
When you had woken up after your little nap close to lunch time, you felt reposed and relaxed. Jiyong was spooning you, his arms clutching onto your waist. His warm chest rose against your back at the rhythm of his soft breathing. On your neck was the most satisfying thing that you ever felt in your life, Jiyong’s warm breath. Smiling, you softly turned around to face him, you needed to look at his perfect face. You made sure to be as quiet and gentle as possible not to wake him up. Unnoticeable like a mouse.
When you faced him, his naked legs automatically intertwined with yours. He dragged you closer to him with one strong arm and your hands landed on his chest. Snuggling your nose against his shirt, you felt butterflies dancing in your stomach, threatening to fly away with your heart on the same occasion.  Was the mornings in his arms always perfect like that?
“Mmmmm hun, you feel good” It was not a question, it was a statement whispered with his lazy voice. One that leaves no place to doubt, hatred or anxiety. A voice that could heal a broken heart and guide another out of the darkest places. 
He knew that it was you in his arms and still, he didn’t flinch. You felt so stupidly good that you had to stand up and leave. It was too perfect. Too intimate. Too soothing. Your heart won’t survive this. For the sake of your mental health, you had to leave now. 
“I have to go Ji, I’ll be late”.
“Already? No, stay a little longer. We’re so comfy”
He hasn't opened his eyes yet, still blurred from sleep. He seemed so peaceful, it was endearing. You didn’t know what was going on with him, but one thing was certain, he hadn’t been himself since last night.  He even had shown small changes in his behavior in recent weeks. 
Brushing these thoughts on the side, you moved away from his arms. You’ll have plenty of time to fall in the downward spiral of sadness later, thinking that you will never be his. That he will never be yours. You escaped the peaceful cocoon you were wrapped in and went out of his bed. Out of his house. Out of your own mind.
Later that day, after your shift
As you arrived at your place, you opened your message app and started to read it. At the same time, you took your shoes off by shaking your feet one by one, over the rug in the hall. Right after your shower when you sat on the couch with a bowl of Japchae, you passed out exhausted.
Meanwhile, Jiyong was upside down. He had spent the day thinking of you, your relationship. He was affirmative, his feelings for you had changed, he was deeply in love with his best friend. There was no doubt in his mind. And he had no idea how you would react to it.
He didn’t want to lose you, but the feeling was so strong now that he accepted it, he had to confess. He needed to. 
Unlike your habit, and the timing couldn’t be more paradoxical, you had left him on read all day. It happened once before but it was because you were too busy with work. Why did it have to happen on a day like today, when he was already so out of his mind. Did you feel him today? Did you realize the changes taking place in him? Was that why you ignored his calls and texts? Were you angry? Maybe you found him too clingy. Maybe he made you feel uncomfortable.  He was going crazy with all these questions when he realised that it was already 2am. It was obvious that he wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. Sighting, he wore his ‘incognito costume’, meaning jogging pants, a hoodie, a face mask and a beanie. Nothing fancy, nothing to expose his identity. Hopefully, the streets will be empty at this time of the night.
He walked around his neighbourhood, wandering. He could only think of you, what your reaction could be when he’ll open his heart to you. He didn’t want to imagine the worst, he couldn’t imagine you rejecting him, his heart felt heavy with pain just at the thought of it. With the consequences that this could bring, the changes to your relationship. We should not dwell on it. He had to go heart first and confess, hoping for the best.
He realized that he was now in front of your apartment block, that he had been walking along your street for a while now, like a stalker. What if something happened bad to you? Just thinking about it made him anxious. He needed to see you, to make sure that first you were safe and warm and second that you were not mad at him. That he didn’t lose you. But why would you be mad? It was a downward spiral of thoughts. It had to stop.
He entered the building with his key, took the elevator and then ran in the hallway impatiently. He couldn’t wait to see you. To tell you. It was a strong and invalidating feeling, he had to confess. His heart had to come back to normal, otherwise he would go crazy.
Unable to wait for you to open the apartment door, he slammed it open. What he discovered inside broke him into pieces, in the best way possible. You were wearing that same old clothes he saw you so often with. That horrible kit that made him hiss in disapproval each time he saw you dressed in. There was nothing he could do to make you stop wearing it. He had tried it all.  Somewhere along the way, he had let go. It was a really good thing, it allowed him to discover you curled up on the couch with untouched food on the table near you. Your hands were hidden in the sleeves of your sweater, joined under your chin. You were so cute, peacefully asleep in your comfort clothes, his heart melted.
He squatted down in front of you and with much tenderness, he caressed your face. He didn’t want to wake you up, he just needed to touch you. He was finally able to breathe. 
You felt his hand on your cheek and automatically, you knew it was Jiyong. You must have been dreaming, you were at your place, alone. Humming with content, you whispered his name with a satisfied smile across your lips and turned to face the other side. 
“Sleep, hun… I’ll wait tomorrow, I can wait now”.
“Ji?” you exclaimed in surprise. “What are you doing here?” you asked as you rub your eyes and opened the light that sat on the low table. When you discovered his features, you jumped off the couch and sat on the floor in front of him. “What’s going on? What happened”.
He didn’t understand what you meant, he didn’t say anything yet 
“Ji, you cried! What happened?”
“I cried? ooooh, yes” patting his face he realized that he did, indeed, have semi-dried tears on his cheeks. So he cried and didn't realize it.
“Why??? What happened?” you asked in a hurry.
“Nothing happened. I just cried…”
“Something must have, you had cried and landed in my living room at 3 am” you cupped his cheeks and started a visual inspection of him. You needed to make sure that he was okay, that nothing happened to him. That he was not sick or hurt physically at least. He found you beautiful.
“I love you”
“Yes Ji, I know… love you too” you answered mindlessly as you scritized his face, concentrating on your inspection.
He grabbed your wrists and held your hands close to his heart. He had started to talk, he couldn’t stop now. He didn’t want to. With all his courage and all the hope he could gather, he repeated.
“Y/n, I love you” 
“...”
“I love you”
You understood what he just said, the words he pronounced but not quite the meaning. You locked eyes with him, searching for an answer to your unspoken question. His beautiful eyes were not sparkling exactly the same way than before. He seemed agitated and peaceful at the same time, it was strange.
“Ji? What’s going on? Are you drunk?”
“Yah… Pabo! Let’s sit more comfortably, I’ll explain”.
You both transferred on the couch, sitting face to face with your knees up under your chin. You held your legs against your chest in a comforting manner. He couldn’t resist the temptation to touch you and he placed a hand flat on your forearm, amazed by your beauty as much as touched by your obvious concern.
“Y/n… Let me talk please”
It made you smile. If the situation would have not been that tensed, you would have laughed your ass out and mock him. 
“I didn’t place a word Ji, I’m waiting for you to explain your interruption in my living room in the middle of the night. I think it’s fair to say that I’m letting you talk”.
“Yes, sorry” he scratched his head with shyness “what I meant was let me talk before you do. But first, why didn’t you answer my calls or texts today? I was scared something happened to you”.
“I figure, sorry Ji. I was dead busy today, couldn’t find the time to eat anything or rest. I took a shower and wanted to call you but the minute I sat on the couch, I fell asleep. I didn’t mean to make you worry”
“Fair enough… and what happened at work today? You had a good day? Did you finally decide to buy yourself a cat?”
“Ji…” you cut him. He was running around the bush and you became impatient. “Ji, tell me. What is it about?”
“I promise you that if you don’t feel the same way, I’ll be okay, I’ll manage to survive. Goodness, I’m petrified”.
While he took his sweet time to say what he had to say, an image was forming in your mind. Did he mean what you think he meant? It couldn’t be possible. Febrile, hope bloomed inside of you.
“Ji… what’s going on?”
“I love you”
The mocking gaze of your best friend was gone. Instead, in his eyes you saw a loving feeling come to life. You read in it doubt and hope. Lots of hope. In his eyes, new sparks you never thought that would shine on for you.  This beautiful vision speaked louder than words.
“I realised lately that you’re the one I want to share my life with. The affection I had, it changed into love. Now, I smile like an idiot when I hear your voice. I melt when you pronounce my name. I want my hands on you all the time. I want to hug you. I want to be a better person and make you proud. I want the world a better place just for you to be more safe. I want to make you happy, just like you make me. I want to kiss you. I want to hold your hand on my way to paradise if it exists, and I want to be born with you again in our next life. Say something please…”
“That hand of mine will hold yours till the end of our life and again in the next one. I promise you that”. 
It was not what he expected to hear. He was so scared that you would reject him, he never thought you would really share his feelings. He just hoped with all his heart, unsure and nervous. Therefore, he was unable to process the words you spoke.
“What?”
You didn’t repeat, instead you leaned in and kissed him, putting all your love in the kiss. The tenderness you feel for him, the passion too. You put all those intentions as your lips sealed with his. Tears went down both your cheeks and mixed together before falling on your clothes.
“You love me?” he asked between the kisses. “For real?” 
He cupped your cheeks with a tenderness that you never felt before. His hands on you was now the only thing that matters.
“Ji, I love you. I love you so much… loved you for years now”.
“Woah, really?”
“Let’s not talk about it yet, we have plenty of time ahead. But yes, I love you. I thought I was so obvious”.
“Not at all, I didn’t realize. I’m sorry love, to realize that you were mine this late”.
“It’s okay Ji, I never thought that you could love me back so I'm more than happy right now. I’m in heaven”.
“Me too”
You looked at each other, smiling shyly.
“I can’t wait to bring you out on our first date. It will be so nice to hold your hand… to show everybody that you are mine, that I’m the luckiest man who got the prettiest girl”.
“Aaaaw Ji”
Your heart was so light but it was beating fast at the same time. You were happy like you were never before. You felt fully and wonderfully alive, loved and overwhelmed. Jiyong’s features told you that he felt the exact same way about you. He had that shy loving smile of his. 
“Ji… Is this for real?”
“I could ask you the same”
“Love of my life…” you whispered as you kissed him a sweet and feverish kiss. You broke contact and plonged your eyes into his “you have no idea how you make me feel right now. I’ve been longing for you, for your kisses and touch all this time. I was loving you in silence and now I can finally touch you. I don’t mean sexually… Just to be able to cup your beautiful face like that and I’m in heaven” you said as you cupped his face and kissed the tip of his nose. 
“I doubt the ‘not sexually’ part but I know exactly how you feel. It seems like you are too far away from me. You would be sitting on my lap and you would still be too far. I’m craving for you”
“Come” you said, standing up. You took his hand in yours and as you walked backwards, you guided him towards your bedroom.  His smile grew bigger.
“Where are we going?”
“You confessed your love to me while I was wearing those clothes that you hate so much. I think it’s only fair that we take them off now… I mean, not to ruin your mood”
“You… you sure?”
“Not a bit… I’m scared that I will deceive you. I’m scared that you will not love what you see…”
“Shhhhh” he stopped you with a kiss “there is no such thing possible. You walked naked so many times before me, I already know all your curves”
“I never walked naked in front of you…”
“You do”
“Nope…”
“all the time…”
“Wanna see what naked is? Let me show you” you took your clothes off in the speed of light, exposing your naked forms in front of him. “See? Have you ever seen me naked like that before?”
He smiled a cocky smile and pushed the clothes that were on the floor with his foot. He didn’t answer your question; instead, he held out a trembling hand, the only clue of the fire roaring in him. He put it flat on the side of your neck. His touch was delicate and full of love. You felt his raw emotion in the way he was touching you, looking at you.  He couldn't believe he was so lucky. That you were his and you felt the same.
“I love what I see. I love every inch of that body because it’s yours. I will love and cherish it until the day I die”
A single tear fell down off your eyes. There was no cloud under your sky and if ever you meet some along the way, you will certainly find a way to overcome it. Of that, you had no doubt. 
“I love you Jiyong”
“I love you Y/n”
Without another word, he lifted you from the ground and transported you to you to your bed. With all the love he had, and all the love you had too, you started your new life together in the most beautiful way possible.
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ddarkhours · 3 years
Text
SKZ masturbating headcanons
Word Count: 1990 for the full thing; Requested: Nope hehe i just really wanted to do this:D
a/n: this is maybe my third time ever doing headcanons so we’ll see how this goes but i really liked writing this and it was me just being thirsty more than me writing it lmao anyway enjoy
Chan
Minho
I think Chan jacks off a few times a week. I feel like he’d do it mostly at home or in the bathroom but the thought of him doing it in the studio has been in my mind for a while. Like normally he’d go in the shower and turn on the water to mask any sounds, but sometimes he’s in the studio and he just needs to relax y’know. Also all of those background noises in some 3racha songs. He would put on some loud music, even though the studio is soundproof you can never be too safe, he would pull up a video on his phone (you decide if the video is his or not), and just pull his dick out, not fully taking his pants off. I see him groaning a lot and just breathing heavy, not really moaning especially since he’s alone. His hand doesn’t feel the same as you but it’ll do in the moment. I don’t think it would take him too long to cum and when he’d finish he would stop his movements, holding his cock at the base and just letting it shoot, groaning after every string of cum, and maybe a hiss here and there, either over his hand or in a tissue for convenience sake. 
That curtain he has on his bed is really giving me many thoughts here hhh. Anyway. Because he sleeps naked and that curtain is there on his bed, we can all use our imaginations to see what usually goes down. Minho is a little shit, so I see him kind of being an exhibitionist and because he doesn’t share a bunk with anyone I can see him masturbating in his bed most of the time. I don’t think he’d be too into porn, I mean sure he watches it sometimes but he prefers to use his imagination here, thinking of what you two did last weekend or the last time you gave him head/he ate you out, your moans are occupying his mind while he does it. I feel like Minho likes to tease himself so he doesn’t cum too often. He’d rather have one mind blowing orgasm a week than a couple mediocre ones. I think he’d jerk himself off and edge himself a couple of times a week but not let himself cum, just for the thrill of it, to see how far he can take it, feeling himself half hard all day turns him on even more. And when he finally let’s himself cum he’d be so spent. Groaning a lot and moaning quietly, he’d slow down his hand to almost a painful speed going down towards the base of his dick. He’d shoot over his stomach and probably up to his chest since he hasn’t cum in a while and continue to move his hand until his dick is basically soft and his orgasm wore off.
Changbin
Now. Idk if it’s because they’re producers or What but I can also picture Changbin jerking off in the studio, but more often than Chan. He’d do it in there most of the times he does it, maybe a couple of times a week because he feels comfy in there. He would do it when he takes a break from work, he’d just let his mind wander and most of the time it ends up in the gutter. He’d start to think about you, he’d think about the last time you guys fucked, when he hit it from the back, the way you moved over his dick. I have a feeling he would rub his cock through his pants for most if not all of it, in case anyone knocks on the door or wants to come in. If anyone were to come in he would stop, immediately. He isn’t into showing off at all. Unless of course it was you but that’s not what this is about rn lmao. He might cum in his pants or pull his dick out just to cum, like Chan either over his hand or in a tissue, but I see him hissing a lot more than Chan, and when his orgasm hits slowing down and tugging towards his tip basically milking himself for as long as he can.
Hyunjin
OKAY. Hyunjin would do it at his desk, no questions asked. I think he’d watch a lot of porn. I think his favourite videos would be something of you, maybe a clip you sent him or something you filmed together, and I think he would really love it if it was a short clip that just looped over and over. He’d get so into it, matching his rhythm with the video. OH also he gives me the vibe of someone who’d use a cock ring:) just to drag it out a little longer. Also strikes me as the type of guy who’d pull his dick back and let it slap against his stomach. You know how dramatic Hyunjin is, he’d be moaning and groaning and throwing his head back when he got somewhat close to cumming, I think he also really likes dirty talk a lot so he’d whisper things as if you were there fhfdj. His head would fall back and he’d lean forward, spreading his legs more, squeezing near the tip and catching his cum in his other hand.
Jisung
Jisung is a bundle of energy, and I think he gets riled up easily so I see him jerking off almost probably every day. He doesn’t have a preference on where he does it, probably wherever he can get privacy at the moment and I also think he wouldn’t be embarrassed to ask for privacy. Like if he just got to the bathroom, rock hard from thinking about you all day, and someone tried to ask him to let them shower first he’d tell them straight up “Kinda have something I need to take care of”. Absolutely shameless. But sometimes when he wants to drag it out a bit or finally has some free time he gives the vibe that he’d have a fleshlight or those silicone eggs. He would pull up some videos on his laptop, imagining it’s you and that you’re riding him, thrusting up into the toy. He’d pull out to cum most of the time because cleaning it is a pain. He would jerk himself off so fast just trying to cum, his hand would go over his cock at lightning speed, letting out high pitched moans and shooting over his abs and just laying there with his dick in his hand as his heart rate calmed down… Alternatively if he’s super into it and just lost in the pleasure he’ll just let himself go and cum inside, shoving his dick as far as he can into it and holding it down as his spurts of cum would shoot inside.
Felix
Most of these have gone solo but even when jerking off Felix would want to do mutual masturbation or at the very least call you to hear your voice. Felix is so sweet:(( and he’s so clingy even if he can’t directly see you, he’d want you to talk dirty to him through the phone, and ask you to moan for him. I think he’d really be into facetiming and just watching you play with yourself, that’s what gets him off the most, knowing that you feel good too. He’d say things like “baby tell me how good you feel”, “I wish you were here with me” and such. I feel like he’d either ask you if he can cum or he’d ask you to cum with him. He’d be so into it, letting his head fall back and moaning super deep raspy moans, stroking his dick for you to see, shooting wherever it lands, he doesn’t care at that moment. If he was to do it alone I think he’d be into ruining his own orgasm and making himself cum a couple of times, doing this occasionally and only once or twice per round. He’d jerk off to the thought of you, using both hands to rub his cock and when he’d feel close he would remove his hands, leaving his body quivering, the thought of you pushing him closer and closer with his dick twitching until with one last breath he finally lets go and he cums just from the thought of you, your body, you taking him, he would moan and buck his hips into nothing, his seed landing all over himself and the floor/bed sheets. His spurts of cum would get weaker and weaker with each orgasm, until he finally let’s himself enjoy his orgasm and his cum would cover his hand.
Seungmin
Does it in the bathroom strictly, he’s a neat freak you can’t change my mind. Cumming anywhere besides the drain just seems messy and unhygienic. Seungmin is the only member that I don’t really have a clear picture in my head of. I feel like he could go both ways and just use his hands or have some sort of toy. I’m thinking vibrating cock ring so that he doesn’t have to use his hands as much. I can see him putting his arm on the wall and putting his face in the crook of his elbow to suppress any moans as he thinks of you. The vibrations of the ring are enough to make him cum on it’s own so his hand is stroking his dick slowly. oH he plays with his nipples a lot, even when he’s alone it makes him cum faster. He’d imagine you masturbating, his hand slowly starting to pick up speed until he’s breathing heavily, biting the inside of his arm, the vibrations of the toy making his legs shake and he’d spill his cum down the drain, his hand helping milk himself under the running water.
Jeongin
He’d do it a lot. He is the youngest so I’m imagining he would be horny a lot. He would do it on his bed as much as he could, laying on his back with his shirt pulled up and his shorts pulled down just enough for his cock and balls to be out with one hand behind his head. I think he watches a lot of porn too, maybe hentai but I’m not gonna go too deep into that. He would have his phone propped up either on some pillows in front of him or on the wall. He jerks off in waves- let me explain- he goes fast and brings himself closer to orgasm before slowing down, playing with his tip, massaging it for a little bit before going again. He’d do this a lot, everytime he would play with his tip he’d use his finger tips to massage behind the head where it feels reall good. It would make his legs shake and his cock twitch so much it would slip out of his hands sometimes, his jaw would hang open and he’d time it so it lines up with the best part of the video. When the person in the video cums it would send him reeling, it would be the tipping point that makes him cum. He would try to stay as quiet as possible, not only for the members not to hear him but also for his own enjoyment. He’d hold his hand still while he fucks up into it, pretending it’s the real thing. He’d aim for his stomach but with how good it feels it would be all over his bedsheets.
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danniburgh · 3 years
Text
Rushingly Bittersweet (Javier Peña x f!reader) part 23
Pairing: Javier Peña x ofc//f!reader with name.
Summary: After the fall of Escobar everything starts happening way too fast for Javier; his raise, his new office, his new team, the Cali cartel’s operation, the sudden arrival of a new agent that was transferred to his team for no apparent reason, the way he was falling in love with her almost unintentionally.
And he couldn’t seem to stop any of that.
Word count: +6.4k
Chapter warnings: lmao angst and then fluff, a brief mention of food, and drugs and a dog.
A/N: This chapter is set after season three. // aAAAAAA this is so long i dont even why but it took me like ALL day FUCK FUCK FUCK anyway thanks to all my babies that got me through the desperation of wanting this to write itself lmao, also two chapters and we are DONE with the main story holy shit
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gifs: @pascalsky
Javier groaned when he sat up and moved his legs to get them out of the bed and looked at the alarm clock on his nightstand; three forty-eight in the morning. He turned on the lamp, reached at his nape and scratched with blunt nails and reached for the pack of smokes that he left on the nightstand before laying down to try to sleep with the other hand.
He pulled the last one out of the pack and stood up to throw the empty carton in the trashcan near the door; he eyed the empty pack from the day before in the bottom of the can with the cigarette clinging to his lips thanks to near dry spit making them sticky and let out a deep sigh.
It wasn’t working.
His tongue moved to shift the cigarette from his lips and he let it fall inside the trashcan, knowing it wouldn’t be the last one he put between his lips, but at least he didn’t light it.
Javier thought of getting out of the room and raiding his dad’s bar again, but he knew it wouldn’t do him any good.
It wasn’t working.
He knew it, and it couldn't be denied any longer. He wasn’t getting any younger and his old ways weren’t helping him forget as they used to ten or fifteen years before.
Javier walked back to the bed and sat on the edge, letting his half naked body fall backwards on the mattress and looking at the ceiling, he felt his hand twitch and he felt it empty without a nicotine stick firmly pressed between his index and his thumb but did nothing to calm it down.
Ten or fifteen years before: had it really been that long? Javier huffed at nothing and scratched his chest, leaving his hand there, uselessly wondering what would it be of him if he did something different; incidentally working through years and years of missteps, mishappens, mistakes, and shaping them in some other way that would have saved him from five months of poor sleep and constant drunkenness, five months of chain-smoking and lack of sharpness, five months of only remembering the bad things he had done and the bad things he deserved.
He huffed again because of course his retirement wouldn’t be him sitting on a porch to enjoy the evening Texas breeze and a glass of scotch; even if he had tried it.
It was having nightmares every third night he wanted nothing but to shove deep inside his head, but that then, reluctantly, he had to tell his new therapist his dad had forced him to go to.
It was having to remember all the men he saw dying every time he heard the words war or coke or shooting. Having to remember them changing and fighting and dying for a cause he wasn’t sure if he still believed in. Having to remember Carrillo every time he and Steve talked on the phone.
It was remembering you each time someone sent him a letter congratulating his work or asking for consultation or asking for an interview; because he had an idea of what you had been through and he was sure he didn’t deserve all that claptrap. He did nothing but cause chaos and destruction and death and even though his therapist said it wasn’t his fault he knew it was because he aided for it to happen.
But you? You did everything you could to find yourself a way to recover what was yours, and you still lost it.
Javier sat up again and after six exact seconds of consideration, he leaned forward and opened his nightstand drawer. He took the black tape he had been clinging to for five months and held it in front of him for a couple of minutes.
He chuckled at himself and gripped the small cassette, took from the drawer his tape player, pressed the red button for it to open, let the tape fall in the slit and closed it, turned it on and rewinded the tape, trying to make the calculations in his head of how many times he had repeated that process as the tape ran to the beginning.
He put the headphones on, laid down back on the bed and pressed play.
“Hi, Javi, uhm…”
God, how he missed you.
The phone rang again, fuck the phone, you thought, and hid your face under a pillow, trying to fall asleep again despite the clear signal that you were no longer sleepy.
And the phone rang again, you lifted your head from the cocoon of pillows and eyed the clock on your nightstand, who was calling you at five seventeen in the morning?
Grunting, you got out of the bed and walked out of the bedroom to the small space that made your living room, dining room and kitchen and got to the phone.
“Hello?” your voice was a deep groan, and you cleared your throat.
“Another letter came for you, when are you gonna change your address?” your dad’s voice broke through the receiver and you closed your eyes, breathing in and out the stress it was already provoking in you.
“I’ll get to it, dad,” you replied “are you gonna send it to me or can I go to the house?” you questioned, feeling already your lower lip tremble.
“I’ll send it, your mom doesn’t wanna see you yet,” he let out in a stern voice “sorry, pumpkin.” he whispered and hung up the phone.
You sat on the armrest of the loveseat next to the phone and let your tears fall from your eyes, not even bothering about cleaning them anymore.
You sighed and nodded to yourself, letting your tired gaze roam around your tiny living space and you missed the openness of your family house, the one you had come back to and were expelled from by an angry mother that felt ashamed of the truth you told them.
But you had to give it to her, she didn’t even know you went down to Colombia, or that you’d been having drug issues, or that they fired you.
She had told you she didn’t know who you were anymore.
Neither did you.
So you left, they couldn’t be more disappointed in you than you were in yourself, so you walked out as your mom wanted and tried to find a home for yourself as you still wondered what the hell were you supposed to do. There wasn’t a handbook or a protocol that taught people how to stop being a DEA agent, the government didn’t train people to go back to civility or even offered a program to forget all the shit you had lived in the places they had sent you.
You stayed in your hometown, unknowingly to your old friends and twenty minutes away from your parent’s home and didn’t leave your house unless absolutely necessary; Albuquerque wasn’t a small town, but it wasn’t big, and you were dreading walking past someone who knew you before you had lost yourself and tried to explain all your baggage, you didn’t have the time, or the energy. And you didn’t want people feeling sorry for yourself, with the woman in the mirror you had enough.
Everything seemed pointless, and you felt heavy all the time, as if you were carrying a chain ball in each foot and shackles in your hands while being dragged down by quicksand.
In the kitchen's corner you saw the last two boxes you still didn’t have energy to unpack after moving them across the continent and let out a teary sight as you stood from the armrest and walked to them.
You opened the first box and saw it filled with office clutter; pencils, markers, some notebooks and notepads, the brown journal you had been looking for to burn on your stove; a set of keys you weren’t sure what they opened and in the bottom, folded pieces of paper.
“Oh, no.” you muttered to the air of the warm kitchen and you doubted reaching in for it… The hesitation lasted two minutes but for you it was like two hours, you knew what it was, you knew why it was in that box and when you took it it felt hot and heavy. You were holding feelings in that letter, you were holding hours of shed tears and memories you didn’t want to have anymore. Memories that still haunted you whenever you smelled roasted colombian coffee and saw an ad of Malduros on tv.
You didn’t open it. You knew what was written there. And for a few seconds you thought of burning it on the stove instead.
“Well, I don’t want this, might as well send it.” you muttered under your breath, recognizing it would do you some good to stop holding to it, acknowledging it would do you some good to know he had it. If he wanted to rip it into millions of pieces or burn it or toss it in the trash or eat it, it was his problem.
You bit your lip as you walked to the phone; you hadn’t thought of him in a while. But as you sat on the loveseat all the shit you wanted to bury if not get rid of came back to your mind like a high wave of a rough sea; sharp, cold, gritty.
“Shit.” you gasped, trying to breathe in and out several times because you didn’t want to cry. It was too early for crying.
You grabbed the phone and thought who could have Javier’s address. God, even thinking of his name made your chest flutter and your stomach churn. You had fooled yourself into thinking he didn’t have an effect on you anymore, into even assuring five months was enough to forget him. What a fool.
You dialed the number of the only person you knew for sure knew the address by heart; the phone rang three times before it was answered.
“Hello?” a sleepy nasal voice greeted, and you smiled through the few tears that had accumulated in your eyes, grateful that he still had his embassy issued cell phone.
“Stod!” your smile was making your cheeks hurt, and you wondered in the back of your head when was the last time you had smiled.
“Who’s this? Flor?” he asked and you let out a stiff chuckle. You decided not to be a huge asshole and dump something heavy as your actual name that early in the morning, so you went with it.
“Yeah, sorry to call at this hour, did I wake you?” you played with the edge of the loveseat’s armrest.
“Kinda,” a noise of shuffle was heard “but it’s almost seven here, so I’m not that mad,” he teased, making you chuckle again “how are you? to what do I owe the honor?”
“Uhm, I–‌I’m calling to take advantage of you,” you said, hearing his chuckle through the line and a whisper of of course you did, “by any chance do you know Peña’s address in Texas?” you asked, closing your eyes and crossing your fingers, wishing for him to not ask:
“Why?”
“I–‌I have something of his...” you mumbled under your breath “I just found it and I wanna send it.” you said, which wasn’t technically a lie.
“Uh…” Stoddard hesitated, and you heard a faint of a pouring noise in the back that made you sigh, a cup of coffee would do you wonders, “well I do–I don't know if I’m allowed to just say it, y’know?” you frowned.
“Oh, come on, please?” you pleaded, your leg started bouncing because of the anxiety that was growing in your chest.
“What is it? is something important?” he asked.
“Super important,” you nodded even though he couldn’t see, “he needs it.”
“How do you know?” he questioned again, and you whined under your breath.
“Uhm, I ju–‌I just know, uhm…” since when were you a twitchy, nervous mess? “can’t you just tell me?”
“Not really, no.” he muttered in that voice that made you want to punch him and hug him at the same time.
You let out the air of your lungs and controlled your body.
You had promised yourself to tell the truth when it was necessary. So you were going to.
“Look, Stod, this is long to explain, okay?” you began, and he hummed affirmatively in response, “the only thing you need to know is that the thing I have here is very important that he gets because he needs to know that I kept it for him.” you said, closing your eyes again.
“Flor you just told me nothing.” he let out, his voice was being muffled and it sounded like he had something in his mouth.
“Fuck, Stoddard, I love him, okay?” you let out “and this thing I have is a letter that I need him to have so he knows I love him!” you panted and bit your lip when he didn’t answer.
You just had said out loud you loved someone, you just had said to someone you loved Javier Peña for the first time. Shit.
“Oh,” Stoddard said after a moment and you held your breath, “you have where to write?”
“You’re a fucking king!”
Six hours later, you wanted nothing else but to turn the fucking car around.
“This is a mistake, this is a fucking mistake!” you yelled inside your car, opening the glove box to toss there your sunglasses. The highway 285 was eternal, and you hated driving through it; it was empty, there was nothing but desert landscapes and the occasional tree, but you were halfway, just crossing the state border and there was nothing in the everlasting earth that would make you drive back home, not even your fucking hesitation, not even your self-doubt.
“What the fuck am I gonna say?” you asked yourself again, chewing on your lower lip and gripping the steering wheel, “am I just pulling on his driveway and knocking on his door and saying hi I’m sorry I broke your heart I have a letter for you? Fuck!” you saw the beginning of yet another town and you drove slowly looking for a gas station, “or better yet, I read this shit to him to complete the humiliation!” you turned your head for a second at the letter resting easily in the co-pilot’s seat and you groaned, finding a gas station. You were also hungry.
With the car’s tank full and a plastic bag filled with snacks for the remaining six hours, you sighed to yourself and started driving again.
“You’re doing this because you need closure,” you told yourself, shoving your hand into a bag of salted chips and bringing three to your mouth “if he doesn’t wanna see you, too bad, he’s gonna miss your haircut,” you mumbled, chewing at the same time “you leave the letter and let him decide what to do with it.”
With the highway 285 long behind you and the sky just beginning to turn orange, you had convinced yourself of your own reasons and you even had a plan to go back home as soon as you were done in Laredo. You also had promised yourself and all your Muertos, you wouldn’t react to Javier Peña if he didn’t react to you and as you had learned in your three-year station in México, you can’t break a promise you made to dead people.
“Shit, shit, shit,” you said when the marked map told you you were a block away from the Peña’s ranch house, you were chewing the last bit of a nearly melted chocolate bar you had bought hours ago as your nervousness betrayed you and you started chuckling at your impulses, “holy fuck, I wanna go home!”
But you were already there. The gate was open and there were two trucks parked on the driveway. So you sucked everything you were feeling, and you turned off the ignition. Fuck. It.
You breathed in and out several times before you unbuckled your seatbelt, grabbed the letter and opened the door. You did it again as you walked the gravel path to the house and were grateful it was already dark, so at least the night could help you hide until the last second.
You stopped walking, rationality coming back to you.
“What the fuck am I doing?” you whispered to yourself and turned around, shaking your head as you walked back to the car.
“Mija!” you heard behind you, you froze in place and stiffened at the sound of a thick accent in a rough and warm voice.
“Oh, no.” you said under your breath.
“It’s you!” you turned around, and you saw the face of the man you had only met through an old picture Javier carried with him at all times. “viniste.” (you came) behind him walked a black, large dog that ignored the man and huffed at you.
“I’m sorry?” your voice went out thin and high, and you wanted to chastise yourself for it. You had given yourself a seven-hour pep talk on the way, and you were already breaking.
“I told him,” the man rolled his eyes behind the glasses he was wearing and gestured for you to walk closer “Jesús Peña, nice to finally meet you,” he extended his hand to you and you took it and shook it, the dog got closer to you and smelled your legs, you tried to smile at him and at the dog but tears were already gathering inside your eyes “le dije que ibas a venir a buscarlo.” (I told him you’ll come looking for him)
“I’m sorry, Mr. Peña, I–‌I do–‌”
“Mr. Peña nada,” he interrupted, “call me Chucho,” you nodded and sniffed slightly “ven,” (come) he gestured again and started walking towards the house, “Pepe, métete.” (get inside) he called, and the dog trotted to his side.
“Wait, Chucho, wait!” you called him under your breath as you followed him, he didn’t stop.
“Come on in,” he opened the house door and waited for you to get inside. He nodded his head for you to walk in and you frowned.
“You don’t even know who I am, what ar–‌”
“I know enough,” he said solemnly, walked inside and you and the dog did too and he pointed to an armchair “siéntate, mija, he’s on the back.” he turned around and walked through an archway to what it looked like the kitchen and disappeared through a door, Pepe behind him.
“What the fuck.” you sobbed out, knowing you had little time to leave the letter you were clutching in your hands on the coffee table in front of you and walk out and leave for good. But you couldn’t move, you were in Javier’s house and you wanted to stop being there, but your body was frozen in place and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. You wanted to scream at yourself, at your fucking impulses; you had all the opportunities to turn around and go back home, why didn’t you listen to your logical, rational, always right brain?
“Hi.” you heard behind your back and you covered your mouth with the hand that wasn’t holding the fucking letter.
You turned around and blinked the first two tears of what you already knew was going to be a sea of them.
He was wearing the red shirt. And God, it was his color.
Javier wanted to run away and hide.
He had just made peace with never seeing you again; he had just accepted that the only part he would have of you was that voice mail you had left him months before. But there you were, teary and gorgeous in front of him. Shaking and with your hands holding a piece of paper as if it were your lifeline.
His head was a contradiction, because he wanted to grab you and hug you all the same he wanted to grab you and shove you out of his house and his life.
“What are you doing here?” Javier asked, knowing deep inside him he wanted to tell you how good you looked and how much he liked your new hair. You let out a shaky breath at his deep voice. You had missed it.
It was the first time you saw him in five months, and the weight of your feelings for him fell again on your shoulders like a recently broken off boulder, heavy, rough edged and shapeless.
“I don’t know.” you answered truthfully, he sighed and deviated his eyes from you, you breathed in heavily and the only thing that got into your lungs was his essence. You cursed under your breath and he huffed, putting his hands on his hips and leaning to the side.
“How d'you found me?” he questioned, and you huffed through the tears.
“I have my resources.” you let out on a whisper. Trying to find his eyes, you needed to see his eyes.
“What do you want?” Javier asked again, and you deflated at the tone of his voice. The rational part of your brain yelled I told you so at your feelings and you knew it was right, you were expecting too much of yourself and of him.
“See you,” you bit your lower lip and Javier saw from the corner of his eyes how you scrunched up your nose, and he felt something inside his chest flutter, hating and loving all the same how much of you he still had stored inside his memory, “I have something for you.”
“Keep it.” he let out. You shook your head and raised your hand with the letter on it.
“Read it.” you half ordered, half pleaded, Javier chuckled and then shook his head, mimicking you.
“I don’t want it.” he knew he was lying to himself, he wanted to know what it was, he wanted to grip it and smell the paper and read it over and over but his body wasn’t responding to what his feelings were telling him and only responded, almost in automatic, to his prideful side, to that side of him that still resented you and himself.
“Alright then,” you said, standing straight after realizing you had regained the ability to read him even through your tears, and understanding there was something he was struggling with, “I’ll read it.”
“Stop.” Javier frowned and looked at you, his eyes pleading for you to do something you couldn’t decipher.
“I know, okay?” you said, trying to reassure him and yourself “I know I’m in no position to ask for shit,” Javier dropped his hands to the sides “but I just want ten minutes, just ten of your life, and you’ll never have to see me again if that’s what you want.”
You knew it was a risky thing to say, but you needed him to know, you needed him to understand you because you knew and he knew you did understand him. And he needed to know you. You and your version.
He said nothing, you took it as his queue to start so you breathed in deeply and unfolded the letter.
“Stop.” Javier said under his breath.
“No,” you wiped a tear off your cheek “I wrote this when I went back to Colombia after I got fired,” Javier looked at you and you saw his face quirk in something close to pain “uhm, before I wrote this I drove around Bogotá,” you recalled that last day in the city and how much it pained you to be there, “I went–‌I went to some of the places you told me you liked” you tried to smile and dropped your eyes to your shoes, trying to find something to cling to and compose yourself “even that little cafe you told me about, near the palace of justice, remember?” you sobbed out. And he called your name. Making you gasp.
“Stop,” you looked up at him and saw him frowning, his eyes glistening with unshed tears, “we don’t need this.”
“I do!” you let out, Javier brushed his lips with his thumb and felt his hand twitch in need of nicotine again “I need to tell you all this!” you wiped your tears away again “I need closure!” you cried out.
Javier felt his stomach turn around and all the blood of his body went to his feet. Fuck. 
How could he had been so stupid? he got into his own feelings too much and he forgot that you had cried your eyes out to him all those months ago when you handed him everything you were in a couple of manila folders. He had gotten wrapped by his own feelings and the hurricane your declaration had created in his life that he had forgotten just how much you were suffering as well. Because he might have thought about you; all the time, every day; he thought about your past and your reasons and motivations. He even thought of you naked on his bed in Colombia, under his body, moaning and gasping when he needed some release, but he forgot to think about your feelings.
“I didn’t come here to ask for forgiveness because I know I don’t deserve it,” you said and Javier felt the wetness of a tear escaping his eye and making its way through his cheek, “I’m trying to get closure, Javier, please let me try.”
Javier nodded.
You cried more when you saw him brush a tear off with his thumb and chew the inside of his mouth. You wanted to run away; you were sure he was better before you came to his house and disrupted his peace; you were hurting him again, and you wanted to kneel in front of him and ask him for what you said you weren’t seeking. He made you want so much.
You sniffed and dropped your eyes to the open letter in your hand, Javier didn’t move from where he was standing.
“No amount of guilt will or can change the past,” you began, Javier crossed his arms on his chest and saw movement to his side, “that much I know. I kno–‌know that it doesn’t matter,” you sniffed again and Javier turned his head to watch the dog casually walking towards him and sitting next to his boots. You saw it too, and you let out a sad chuckle.
“Ignore him.” he just said. You nodded.
“Uhm, it doesn’t matter how much I apologize, or how many I’m sorry’s I mouth, forgiveness doesn’t come for free.” you didn’t want to lift your eyes to see him, so you continued.
Javier only saw you reading him something he was sure you had poured your heart into, and he wanted nothing but to hear what you wanted to say to him, but he couldn’t focus into listening, because there you were, again in front of him doing what he never dared to do.
Opening your fucking chest, taking your heart out and giving it raw to him.
“...knowing and realizing and acknowledging just how much I love you.”
Javier drowned a gasp, as he fell in love with you all over again, you were doing what he didn’t have the balls to do, because in his sleepless sleep he wanted to look for you, in the middle of his idle nights, just after waking up after a nightmare, he wanted to find you and go to you and tell you whatever the fuck he could to be back with you. But he never did, he never did because he was a coward, because he feared his own feelings so fucking much.
He couldn't hear anything of it after your declaration of love. God, how much he loved you. You were standing there, with your eternally hopeful eyes filled with crystalline tears and several pages of written feelings. And he realized, there, with you in the middle of his living room, shifting to the next page, that even though you were extremely similar, you were also very different.
“...with you I found a reason to give up after all the shit I've lived in…” you muttered and he found the differences inside him; you were braver than him, you were smarter and more connected with what you felt; you weren’t scared of your feelings as he was. You went for what you wanted and even though it had been five months of that dreadful day when he saw his heart squeezed out of his body by your hesitant hand, that day he still replayed inside his head when the day was just over and his brain was floating between sleep and awakeness, he still wondered why you were bothering.
“There were so many things I thought…” you kept reading as he wondered if it was possible for the two of you to connect with each other outside of shared trauma and sympathy for each other’s experiences. But he answered to himself that even if you two weren’t as emotionally available as you needed to be to build a relationship or if you both were having a hard time adapting to be and live out of the system, maybe the love was real.
You stopped reading after noticing he was just standing there with his arms crossed and his eyes on you but not seeing you; you wiped the last of your tears and chuckled bitterly to yourself. Making him blink a few times.
“Fuck this,” you crumpled the pages in your hands and dropped them on the coffee table, shaking your head. Javier frowned, “it doesn’t matter what I read, I shouldn’t have come.” you said, drowning your sobs and gasping for air. He wasn’t paying attention, and nothing about it was making you feel any better about anything.
“What?” Javier whispered, dropping his hands to his sides.
“A’right, then…” you didn’t look at him and tried to control your breathing again “I guess that’s what I wanted to do,” you walked to the door and opened it, Javier wanted to ask what the fuck was happening, he wanted to grab your arm and stop you as he didn’t do it when you were leaving his office back in Colombia “I’m sorry to have bothered you, Javier,” he winced slightly involuntarily at the way you sobbed out his name “I’ll go.”
You walked out of the house covering your mouth with your hand to muffle your sobs, your rational brain was right, it was a mistake; it was a complete and utter mistake, and you were so ashamed of yourself for even thinking it would change anything. You walked to your car feeling the sharp, stinging sensation of a migraine settling in your head. You heard steps behind you and you turned around slowly, not wanting to put hope on the source being Javier.
“Mija,” you look at Chucho trying to catch up with you, “¿a dónde vas?” (where are you going?)
“I’m going home.” you said, shrugging at the man when he stopped in front of you.
“Why?” he asked, frowning.
“Because he said nothing, Chucho,” you bit your lip and looked at the Texan night sky and huffed at yourself, “he said nothing.”
“But he wants you, mija!” he assured you, and you shook your head several times.
“If he wants me as you say,” you pointed towards the house behind him, “then how come I’m not with him?” you reasoned, “he doesn’t want me.”
You dropped your eyes to the gravel path as Chucho sighed and raised his hand to squeeze your shoulder just enough for you to feel less sad. Just how a father would do.
Chucho glared at the house, the door open and Pepe standing in the threshold; his son had been back for months, he had been living next to him, eating next to him, working next to him and breathing next to him just as he did before he went away but he knew, just like a father could, he was not the same man that left.
He reminisced over the muchacho his son was before he left Laredo, so eager to get out of the small town he grew up in and that harbored his family home, so anxious to meet new horizons, so keen to find and explore new places and learn new things; he sometimes found himself missing that boy, he sometimes missed his Javi; the one that helped him build a paddock for his own horse, the one that washed his truck without asking and without failing each friday evening, the one that took care of his Mamá’s funeral at sixteen when himself was too sad to think about coffins or tombstones; because the man that came back to him after almost two decades too far away from home wasn’t the same.
He had seen and done things that Chucho never wanted to to ask about but he imagined, his Javier wasn’t the same. And Chucho knew why, but he also knew about you. Javi had talked about you way too much for his own good, as he did everything. And Chucho also knew why, he wasn’t letting the woman that made his son come back home run away.
“He does want you,” he said, slowly, with a low voice, as if it were a secret, “mijo… es un idiota a veces, but he loves you.” (he’s an idiot sometimes)
“You don’t know that.” you refuted.
“I do,” he gave you a smile that was barely visible under the white mustache “el te ama, y yo…” (he loves you, and I…) “I’m so grateful.” you shook your head as two thick tears left your eyes.
“I broke his heart.” you sobbed out.
“Y me lo trajiste a casa, Florecita” (and you brought him home to me, little flower) you sobbed harder, not able to control it anymore, and he brought you to him, and held you.
“He told you my fake name?” you asked between sobs.
“He told me what you look like.” he muttered.
“I’m so sorry.” you let yourself be wrapped by him and you hid your face on his shoulder.
“Don’t be, without you I would’ve lost my only child.” you held him tighter.
“Please.” you pleaded for nothing and everything at the same time.
“You gotta fight for him, mija.” he muttered to your ear, and you shook your head, still leaning into him.
“I’m fighting for him!” you almost yelled “I’m here, aren’t I?” you lifted your head to look at the man and you gasped for air, dropping your hands to your sides “I drove almost thirteen hours non-stop all the way from Albuquerque just to be here!” you told him and the man stiffened as you lost your shit in front of him, you gripped your head between your hands “thirteen hours to read him that stupid letter and he didn’t say shit!”
“You did what?” you heard and lifted your head to see Javier standing behind his dad.
Chucho looked at Javier and then at you with your cheeks dampened with tears. He squeezed your shoulder again and turned to walk to the house.
“You were in Albuquerque all this time?” he said, and you nodded, noticing he was holding the letter in his hand “when you said you’d go you meant back there?” he frowned in confusion.
“Well, yeah, I have nowhere to stay so I might as well drive home.” you muttered, Javier’s frown deepened, and he stepped towards you.
“Stay here,” he said, “if you wanna leave you leave in the morning.” his voice was thin and low. You looked at his eyes and saw them reddened and wet.
“Did you read it?” you whispered out. He stepped towards you again, nodding.
“Stay.” he whispered back.
“You don’t want me.” you said under your breath as shook your head and he stepped closer.
“Who says that?” he asked, and you looked at the gravel path again.
“I won’t stay.” you felt Javier’s warm fingers graze under your chin and lift your head to him slowly.
“Don’t be so stubborn,” he chastised you with half a smirk forming on his lips “stay with us.” you shook your head again.
“You don’t want me here but you want me to stay,” you said, frowning at him “Javier you can’t have it bo–‌”
“I want you to stay,” he interrupted you “I want you to stay with me,” he whispered as his fingers moved to your cheek and wiped away a tear. “please.”
Javier had read your letter after you walked out and realized, at the prospect of you leaving for what it seemed like forever, at the possibility of you leaving him for good and he never getting to see you or your gorgeous face or your hypnotizing eyes or hearing your voice that did so many things on him, that the balance of his other losses leaned upwards when he weighed the probability of losing you.
Did he care about what you did? of course he did, it still stung sometimes deep inside his chest, it still filled him with something close to grief.
Was he willing to work it out and let it aside because he didn’t want to feel the agony and deep sorrow of not having you by his side he had been feeling for the last five months again? yes.
And the answer to that question inside his head startled him and shook him deeply.
You were there. God, you were there, there was no way he was going to let you leave.
Javier decided you could work it out later, he loved you way too much not to try. He didn’t even plan to love you the way he did, the way he discovered by reading that letter or remembering the man he was without you. He didn’t even plan to love you at all, but he did. He was madly, insanely, deeply in love with you.
Javier moved his hand to your shoulder and let the one holding the letter find its way to your waist. Find its way home.
“Don’t go.” he whispered again. He moved the last step to wrap his hands around you. You let out a low yelp at the feeling of his body so close to you, for a second you froze in place, your eyes closed and his warmth invaded your entire body as he hid his head in the crook of your neck. He inhaled your essence as you hugged him back and gripped him tightly against you.
Javier felt as if all his parts were being glued back together.
“Stay with me.” he whispered against the skin of your neck.
So you stayed.
←previous // next→
*THE LETTER*
Pepe:
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pedrito's perma list: @queenofthefaceless​ @northernpunk​ @pascalesque​ @sleep-tight1​ @cheekygeek05​ @bii-aan-ckaa​ @letaliabane​ @starlightmornings​ @mouthymandalorianalso​ @supernaturalgirl​ @metalarmsandmanbuns​ @purplepascal042​ @asta-lily​ @greeneyedblondie44​ @missswriter​ @juletheghoul​ @pedro-pastel​ @agirllovespancakes​
Javi's babies: @pulplorrd​
RushBit tag list: @shestillwrites1​ @alliterative-albatross​ @absurdthirst​ @thoughtfulpandawasteland​ @wifeofdindjarin​ @lank-sextburg @the-ginger-hedge-witch​ @helloannbananalove​ @diogodxlot​ @pascalslittlebrat​ @sarahjkl82-blog​ @pedritobalmando​ @a-court-of-feysand-and-elorcan​ @mamacitapascal​ @dobbyjen​ @callsigncatfish​ @feminist-violinist​ @jasmincita​ @pascalove​ @eury-dice3​ @gingaahhhh @athalien​
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bugsbunnybisexual · 3 years
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Only fools fall for you, only fools.
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall.
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Random Baffy thoughts
Hi motherfuckers,
I have no idea what's gotten over me today but I cannot, for the life of me, stop thinking about Baffy. So much so that I made this blog on a valuable Friday that I should be using for productivity. Holy shit.
Keep reading if you wanna hear my spiels.
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First, some easy-to-digest headcanons:
Bugs is 26, Daffy is 28
Bugs is bisexual biromantic, Daffy is demisexual biromantic
Bugs is Egogender, Daffy is Nonbinary and will describe his gender as "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Bugs Black, Daffy Black-Desi, specifically Bangladeshi
Daffy knows some broken-ass Bengali
Fools by Troye Sivan is a song that Bugs will sometime listen to and contemplate his romantic choices. LMAO but he will never tell Daffy that-
Bugs listens to a lot of Hip-Hop and old-school Rock. Daffy likes classic music because he thinks it makes him smarter. And older Desi music, like old movie ballads
Bugs has OCD. He's experienced depression before but it doesn't really flare up anymore
Daffy has OCD too. Don't @ me, all my faves get OCD okay? Along with that he has generalized anxiety disorder
Bugs likes reading about History & Physics
I like to think they have a sun/moon thing going on with Bugs being the sun and Daffy being the moon. All my ships have this dynamic, I know.
IDK there's more I can't remember right now...
Bugs' Flags:
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Daffy's Flags:
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Now, my basic idea for them...
If you notice in TLTS, Bugs doesn't HAVE to let Daffy stay with him, but he does. Though Daffy is basically a freeloader, Bugs never complains. To me, I definitely see this as Bugs being interested in Daffy in a more intimate way than one might think. Bugs has the ability to be roommates/housemates with other people who may have a job or whatever but Bugs doesn't particularly care. Moreover, Bugs is shown to be annoyed of others easily while being very patient with Daffy. You see what I'm talking about?
Meanwhile on the other side, yeah I know TLTS is comedy and everything - but - if we suspend the comedy for a second, I would like to imagine that Daffy actually has issues. Now, this has been supported by official/canon media before. Particularly in Back in Action. Daffy is shown in that show acknowledging that he feels people like Bugs a lot, but don't like him.
So, if we suspend the comedy for just a second, and talk about Daffy's issue, for some goddamn reason I LOVE and absolutely LOVE the idea that Daffy has difficulty understanding why Bugs loves him. And he questions it a lot. And gets upset over it. And Bugs can't really explain it, either, other than just saying "I like you for who you are. You may be a pain in the ass sometimes but that doesn't change the fact that I enjoy your company, I enjoy you."
I also like to imagine that their relationship is nowhere near perfect, sort of similarly to TLTS's approach to Bugs & Lola, where they are somewhat aware of the fact that they're a couple but continue to have miscommunications & difficulty. Except with Bugs & Daffy it's a lot louder, with a lot more accusations, but they make up in the end, because they have a mutual understanding that isn't obvious at first sight, but the more you see them interact, the more you realize they understand each other a lot better than it seems on the outside.
And then comes the lovey-dovey stuff.
Oh the lovey-dovey stuff.
I'll be putting them under a read more, it gets intimate.
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So, Bugs is clever. He doesn't really exercise his flirting skills with Lola in TLTS, partially because Lola is more interested in him than he is in her. But in the classic Looney Tunes you can see how good he is with flirting with people of all genders and how easily he catches people off-guard with witty flirting. So, I'd like to imagine that doesn't change with TLTS Bugs, either. He just uses this type of flirting on very specific people. And Daffy is definitely, definitely one of them.
Daffy has a big but fragile ego. It's easy to trip him up with the right words & actions. And as I said, Bugs is smart, he knows Daffy very well. He knows exactly what to say to get to Daffy, and he loves using this as an advantage, especially when there's a fight between them.
There is a LOT of Bugs just using Daffy's words right back at him in a flirty way. Lots of shutting Daffy up with a kiss, lots of intimidating leans from Bugs, and a lot of flustered Daffy who doesn't actually know what to do with real affection and love because he barely knows what that is.
Daffy stuttering, having difficulty making eye-contact, being unable to believe what's happening, blushing, and just falling deeper in love every time Bugs flirts with him. And don't get me wrong, Daffy LOVES it, but he doesn't know how to react or just...how to compute. He short-circuits.
And Bugs enjoys that a lot. He loves seeing Daffy all flustered, confused, seeing his ego disappear and only his vulnerable and emotional self being visible, seeing Daffy being unable to stand on his feet flippers because of how nervous he is, refusing to look Bugs in the eyes until Bugs connects their foreheads...it gets Bugs just as flustered as Daffy is. He's just a lot better at controlling his emotions and not wearing his heart on his sleeves during intimate moments.
CW // Suggestive or NSFW
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And of course, this dynamic continues onto bed, as well. Bugs loves showring Daffy with compliments as they fuck, only for Daffy to be completely flustered and unable to compose himself throughout the whole thing. Sometimes, if Daffy has the energy, he will grab Bugs, kiss him and tell him to shut the hell up. Which will usually lead to Bugs giggling and throwing a "fine, sure, we'll play it your way" and finally letting Daffy take the occasional lead.
Their physical intimacy will involve nibbling and hickeys from Bugs' side, tiny little bites hidden all over Daffy's body under his fur. And Bugs thinks Daffy gives the best head. Daffy's beak is sensitive and squishy, and easy to tickle.
NSFW over //
Some random intimate stuff:
Daffy really likes PDA but has difficulty expressing that he'd like to do things like holding hands in public. Luckily, Bugs understands and makes his moves bravely.
As they get older, Daffy humbles up and gets a lot better with his emotions and starts being a helpful househusband - cooking, cleaning, helping with chores and just making their home a nice environment. Bugs really appreciates this. Daffy understands later that he just doesn't like the corporate world, which is why he never liked working jobs.
The wedding is huge because Daffy wants it huge and Bugs actually exercises his popularity and riches for their wedding day. Daffy is genuinely so happy that Bugs feels greatly satisfied about his decisions by the end of the wedding. Also Bugs wears that one tux with a skirt wedding outfit. You know the one. Daffy can't decide between a tux and a wedding dress and flips a coin which lands on wedding dress, LMAO. It's his mom's old dress. Yes it is a Sari, if you thought it was a western wedding gown then the L is on you.
They play a lot of Troye Sivan, BTS, Pink Sweat$ & Kehlani on their wedding. Why? Because I said so, that's why.
...and that's about it!
Yeesh!
GO WATCH THE LOONEYTUNES SHOW. IT'S GAY, I PROMISE YOU.
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levis-hazelnut · 3 years
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Levi x Reader Hate At First Sight
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Summary: after hearing about you getting into a fight with some Military Police, Erwin and Levi go to try and enlist you as a scout, much to Levi’s dismay. Though, after some months spent there, you found yourself to be disliked by many scouts.
(a/n: look at my baby his side profile he’s so beautiful. also i do not hate petra it’s just for the sake of the fic so please don’t @ me lmao)
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You gripped your knees, your back hunched while your chest rose and sank as you tried to catch your breath. The reason you were running was that moments ago, some men tried to molest you. Though you were able to beat them down, you obviously didn't want to stay around that area of filthy MPs. Yes, they were everywhere, but that particular place isn't somewhere where you should be late in the evening. Only whores would walk around there. And you definitely aren't one of them. You may have the face and figure of one, but you would never stoop to that level just to get money and to pleasure foul men who treat women as objects. It's good that you're poor because then you have loose clothes that don't make your curvaceous body show. Walking at a slower pace, you made your way to your 'home' which was just a place behind a store, which had sacks piled on top of each other, making it comfortable enough to sleep there rather than the gelid ground. And to be able to get the owner to let you stay there, you had a massive dispute that caused you to get attention to yourself and you were on the verge of pulling out the blade you keep in your boot. But now, you are on good terms with him.
A lot of the friends you had didn't remain with you because of your temper. Or they would have been caught by the Military Police. Either way, you don't have any of your past friends. Hey, it's not your fault you would go out of control at any time, sometimes for no reason. Well, it is your fault but you didn't make yourself this way, so tell that to whatever god is up there.
You plopped down onto the stack of sacks, staring up at the midnight blanket, where stars sparkled in and the gleaming moon gazed down at you. As you rested your head on your arm and your other arm laid across your torso, your stomach slightly grumbled from being deprived of food. Sighing, you jumped up, heading inside the shop you laid behind. Thankfully, it was a small restaurant. As you walked in, the owner glanced at you with a frown. "(Y/N), it's closing time. Why are you coming in now?" You put a hand to your stomach. "Don't tell me. It's my hollow stomach." "Here." He chucked you a whole loaf of bread and an apple. "Now, leave. I've got to clean up." "Thanks.” Sitting back down, you threw the apple up in the air and caught it in your left hand as you ate the bread. After finishing the food, you relaxed and closed your eyes, so you could escape from the life you have and dream about living somewhere else, somewhere cosy, somewhere warm and more home-like. And maybe even someone you could spend your life with without them leaving you because of your fierceness or dying. ~/~ "Corporal Levi?" "What?" aforementioned person replied with an exasperated sigh. "Commander Erwin said he needs to talk to you." "Tch. Okay." He walked away with profanities soaring through his mind, wanting to just go to his office and avoid people that were getting on his nerves. Stepping into the Commander's office, he crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the wall after shutting the door. "What do you want?" The Commander gestured to a chair in front of him so the other male could sit down and he could inform him of the situation. "A while ago, in Wall Sina, there was a woman who got in a fight with a few Military Police and took off with ODM gear. She isn’t a soldier or anything, so she most likely hadn't handled gear before, but she was able to use it with ease, meaning she's someone skilled." "So?" "We need to go get her to enlist as a scout." "Tch. Why? She already sounds shitty and bratty." "We're going tonight, Levi." He stood up and left the office, clicking his tongue. All he wanted was to avoid people and now, he has to go get some bitch who probably doesn't even know how to wipe their ass. An hour, or so, ago... A group of four Military Police surrounded you, all of them having smug expressions that made you want to punch them in their faces... and then their balls. You wouldn't let them get away with only a punch to the face. Who do they think you are? A princess? You steal some gear thingy, that looked intriguing to you, from one of them and suddenly you're the bad guy? These idiots think they can beat you as well. You could just laugh. "Do you really think you can beat me?" you chuckled. You did just laugh. "We don't want to hurt you, darlin'. Just give us back the gear." "Who said you can call me darlin'?" you snarled and fly kicked one of them. He ended up slamming against the building behind him, sliding down the wall, knocked out. You charged at another, kicking their crotch and punching the top of his head as he dropped onto the ground with a thud.
Two more left... One of them came towards you with their fist drawn back to punch you with a force meant to harm you but you caught their fist and twisted their arm, pushing it towards their chest as they let out a cry of pain. You thrust your foot at his abdomen as he held his arm, groaning.
"Are you really going to try and beat me?" The last one only smirked, approaching you, so you pulled out the blades from the equipment you took from him and pressed it to his neck. He froze on the spot and gulped, cold sweat appeared on his flesh and dropped with a patter on the ground. "I'm going to give you five seconds to take your comrades and get your asses out of here." You put the blade back into its place and watched the panicking man pick up the other dirty humans and hurry away, not wanting to wait to see what you would do after five seconds. Ignoring the people gawking at you, you dusted your clothes before figuring out how to use the gear to head to your favourite shop, wanting something to drink. You were able to do it with ease, flying through the doors and swiftly landing on your feet. The bell rang to notify people that someone came in.
You sat on your table. Yes, it was your table and all the regulars knew that after seeing you pound a man for taking your table. Ever since then, no one has sat at that table apart from the drunk idiots who want your attention or people that haven't been to this place yet. It was near the window and it had the sofa seat so you would lean your back against the window, stretching your legs across the seat. You placed the equipment you took on the table.
"Oi, Luis," you called to the owner, and he looked at you from where he was at the counter. "The usual." He nodded at you and proceeded to make you your black tea with no sugar. After about five minutes, he placed the cup of tea in front of you as you handed him some money you were able to 'earn', paying him for the food he gave you the last few days as well. But you always got a discount so it wasn't too much of a problem for you to stea-- earn a bit of dough. "Hi, (Y/N)~" Yay, another drunken fool trying to hit on you. You rolled your eyes, disregarding his presence that sat opposite you as you drank your tea. He was saying shit you weren't listening to. But, seriously, who gets drunk during the day? He's probably just another jerk whose wife ran away from and took most of his money or something like that. All these snobby, egotistic people, who live within Wall Sina, piss you off to the extent that you want to make sure that their pained screams reach Wall Rose, so that those citizens would know what would happen if they pissed you off. "Hey, idiot, I'm going to give you three seconds to get out of my sight," you growled. All he did was smirk and lean over the table, trying to get closer to you. You punched him the middle of his face, but it didn't look like he could feel it. You stood up and dragged him off the seat, kicking him over and over as he laid on the sparkling, marble floor. "Hey, hey, hey!!" Luis jogged up to you. "(Y/N), you need to stop beating up my customers! Soon, you'll be my only customer." "Tell this bastard to get the fuck out and leave me alone, then." "I can't kick someone out for you." "Tch." You trudged out of the shop, wandering around the streets, hiding from any MPs that walked past, so you could evade another fight since you weren't in the mood for any action. "Hey, (Y/N)!" "Moritz," you greeted as he came up to you. "I haven't seen you in a while." "Just trying to stay away from any bastards. So, get away from me," you joked to which he chuckled softly. "My offer still stands... I'd like a daughter like you." "Sorry, Moritz. Leon isn't my type." "My son is in love with you. He's a kind and soft lad and if I'm being fair, he's handsome." "Exactly. That isn't my type. I want someone strong, feisty and someone able to handle my temper and maybe get into heated arguments with me. But of course, I want someone attractive." Several hours later... "Levi, are you ready?" "Yes." The stoic man let out a heavy breath and proceeded to leave his office, following the tall blonde. They both got their gear before leaving the building and entering a carriage waiting for them. "Why is this brat special? There are so many cadets that can use ODM gear." "As I said before, she isn’t a soldier and was able to use it without practice." "What's her name?" "(Y/N) (L/N)." The rest of the journey was quiet, only a few words of what they were going to do and the occasional click of the tongue because of how long the trip was. Finally, they arrived in front of a classy restaurant and it was filled with people due it being the evening when couples go there. You shimmied past the couples all dressed up in fancy clothes and you were able to make it out of it. Looking back over your shoulder, you rolled your eyes before frowning when you saw two men standing in front of you. You crossed your arms over your chest and arched an eyebrow. "Look, I took your friend's gear hours ago. Why are you still chasing after me? It's not that big of a deal." "Are you (Y/N) (L/N)?" the taller male asked. "... Yes. What do you want?" "May I see the gear you were talking about?" "Are you going to take it?" "No." "Okay. Follow me." You walked to your pile of sacks, expecting them to be behind you but they were in their place. "You coming or what?" They slowly approached you, wary of their surroundings. "What is this place?" the stoic male questioned, clearly disgusted. "Welcome to my humble abode." You ignored his criticism. You looked about for the gear but you couldn't find it, that's when you realised that you had left it in the restaurant. You hoped that no one took it. You sighed and looked into the restaurant, telling the two males where you left it, so they dismissed you, allowing you to get it and they followed you but waited outside. You opened the door, pushing people out of the way. "Move out the way, you fucking arrogant idiots," you muttered. You looked around your table where a couple sat but you didn't care since you weren't going to sit there and there wasn't any other space. You frowned when you didn't see it. Who the fuck took it? ... Oh, they did. There were two men and a woman on a table with the gear in front of them as they all put their nasty hands on it. The woman was drunk and holding a wine glass filled with a red liquid, one of the men was smoking and the other had a beer. You barged through the crowd, striding to their table. "Excuse me. This is mine." You tried taking it, but the man closest to you stopped you from doing that as he stood up, coming closer to you so you backed away. You could smell the cigarettes emitting from him as you held your breath at the foul smell. "Now, why would I let you take this without anything in return?" "Tch. Give it before I prevent you from having kids." "I wouldn't mind having a baby with a gal like you." "Get your breath out of my face. And give it to me. I swear, I'll knock you down so you won't be able to get up ever again," you grumbled. "I like my women feisty." You punched his left cheek and he stumbled back into his seat as you picked up the gear, turning around to face the entrance but all you saw was more people entering. Okay, you didn't care anymore. You swiped a man and stepped on him to get closer to the door but a woman came in your way, her boobs blocking your way. You slid through what little space there was and jumped over a short person, enabling you to exit and go back to the two men outside. The one with blue eyes looked surprised as you passed him the material. "That was impressive." "What?" "How you got past all those people." "Eh, it was nothing." "Anyway, are you able to use this properly?" "Yes. It isn't that hard." "Can you show me your skills with it?" "Why? Wait... how do you even know my name? Who are you people?" you inquired after realisation hit you. "I'm Commander Erwin Smith and this is Corporal Levi Ackerman. We're from the Scout Regiment and we heard that you got into a fight with some MPs and you were able to easily use this so I wanted to see your skills and see if you're worthy of becoming a scout." "Why would I want to join you? All of you are stupid to leave the walls to fight titans. I don't want to become like you. And there are a lot who don't even know how to fight and I don't want to fight with morons,” you responded. "Yes, I don't have a great life but it's better than risking it to go do something stupid. I don't care if you're the Commander and he's Humanity's Strongest Soldier, I'm not becoming a scout." "Tch. We don't do something stupid, we fight for humanity. You only fight to get away from trouble. I don't know why we have to save the likes of you but we do and we don't do it because we want to, we do it because we have to. And they may be idiots, but they're damn good soldiers who shouldn't be ill spoken about by someone like you," Levi growled lowly, venom laced in his words. 'Someone like you', who does this fucking midget think he is? You were probably around his height but women are generally shorter than men. You narrowed your eyes and proceeded to thrust your fist at his face but he dodged it before headbutting you. He punched your nose, causing it to bleed and he struck your gut straight after. He threw punches at you, one after another, until you had enough, bringing your leg up to kick the side of his head. He put his hand there, weakening the blow, and grabbed your ankle, slamming you down onto the stone ground. You felt slightly dizzy but you shook it off, standing up immediately, ramming your knuckles into his face and you tried to trip him over but he kept his balance. After punches being thrown and both of you being beaten up, to finish the fight off, he slid behind you and twisted your arm behind your back, stepping on your foot as his other hand held your wrist by your side. You tried shaking him off, but it was futile. He twisted your arm more, getting a quiet hiss of pain from you. "You may be able to beat up some useless MPs but we, at the Scout Regiment, are nothing like them. You better think twice before you try to fight with me." "Thank you, Le--" Erwin started but was cut off. "(Y/N)?" a gentle voice uttered, and you turned your head towards it. "What are you doing here, Leon?" "I-I came here to see you..." he shyly said, his ginger hair hiding his emerald eyes as he gazed at the ground where blood trailed. "What's happening? Who are these men?" He looked back up with concern pooling in his orbs. "It's nothing. Do you want to talk about something?" "It can wait. It looks like you have to deal with something." "Oi, get off of me. I won't try to put up a fight, or run away." "I don't trust you." You clicked your tongue and lifted your foot up to kick his groin but he wrapped his leg around yours so you weren't able to strike him. "Can I not talk to him?" you snapped. "Levi, let her go." "Idiot," you murmured loud enough so he was able to hear but he didn't say anything. You walked up to the boy. "Leon, I don't think you should tell me anything important because I don't know if I'm going to be able to see you after today. They're from the Survey Corps and they want to enlist me. I don't want to go, but it looks like they're going to force me." "But--" You could see the tears welling up in his pretty eyes. "I love you, (Y/N)." "I know. But that's how it is. Sorry." You didn't sound sorry at all, your tone was your usual dull, yet harsh one, but you genuinely did feel a bit of compassion for him. After two years of trying to get you to be his wife, you're going to leave his life without leaving any feelings for him. He was a gentleman and you liked him, however, not as a lover or whatever, he was just delightful to have around. You didn't want to leave him like this so you embraced him, gently rubbing his back and whispering a few words. "Will you ever come back?" "I don't know. It's a high possibility that I won't." "If you do, will you marry me then?" "We'll have to see," you smiled; it was the first smile you ever let break out onto your lips since you were around ten. "Tch. Why did I come to see this?" "Shut up, Levi. Just be glad that you'll have a valuable soldier on your side." A scowl replaced your smile. He scoffed. "We've got plenty of useful soldiers, including myself." "I might see you later, Leon. Bye." "Bye, (Y/N)." He took your hand and softly kissed it. And with that, you left the boy in heartbreak and started a new life as a scout after showing them your skills, which Levi scoffed at so you backhanded him. On the way to headquarters, you and Levi sat opposite each other and argued as Erwin silently sat there, wishing for the ride to be over. Since the journey was long and it was around midnight, you had fallen asleep after some time, allowing peace to settle into the carriage. Once you reached HQ, Erwin stepped out and stood by the carriage, waiting for you and Levi to get off. "Oi, brat, get up." Levi tried to awake you. "Brat, wake up." "Who you calling brat?" you asked tiredly, failing to convey your irritation. "You. Now, shut up and get out." "Tch. Don't go telling me what to do, Ackerman," you muttered angrily, too tired to put up a fight. All three of you entered the building and coincidentally, you were walking next to Levi, starting another argument so Erwin walked in between the both of you, leading you to his office, while Levi went to his.
"Take a seat, (Y/N),” he told you. "This is the key to your room. We'll fill out the paperwork and do everything tomorrow. For now, just go sleep and I'll tell you all you need to know tomorrow." "Whatever." You left his office after he told you the directions to your room and you went there, finding a single bed with a bedside table that had a lit lantern. The first thing you wanted to do was have a shower since you felt sweaty from all the action you had today. Once you showered, you went straight to bed, snuggling into the blanket, able to have a good night's sleep for once in ages. ~/~ After changing into your uniform, you looked at your reflection. It fit you very well but you didn't want it to. You don't like showing your curves, but it's not that you feel insecure with people looking, you just don't like it. You don't want your body to be the thing that attracts people and you don't want people coming after you because of your alluring figure. With no hesitation, you would punch anyone that tries to touch you. As you were told to, you went to Erwin's office before breakfast started, ignoring the gazes that were focused on your form. You rolled your eyes as you stepped into his office, slamming the door behind you. "Gosh, these idiots don't know how to keep their eyes in their sockets." You turned your head to the door, not noticing Erwin's cerulean eyes on you. He blinked to break himself out of his daze and cleared his throat as he gestured to the seat in front of him. You sat down casually, not caring about being formal. "Sit up, (Y/N)." "Tch." "Sit up," he repeated. "You shouldn't disobey your superiors." You sighed and did as he said. "Happy?" "I've got these papers for you to sign," he told you as he handed a few sheets. "And these papers have information that you'll need to know but I'm going to go through it with you. I'm going to put you in Hanji's command..." After about half an hour, you were able to leave his office and make it for breakfast. You entered the mess hall with him and grabbed some food, sitting down on an empty table since you have yet to get to know these people and you thought that people would come up to you first. "Who is she?" "Mmm~ Look at that ass." "Look at those boobs." "You lot are pervs." "You only say that because you have Krista." "Yeah, and she's better than whoever that woman is." "I think she's pretty." "She's certainly not ugly." "Eren?" "Mikasa, do you not say anything else?" "Eren?" "What?" "Stop ogling her." "I-I wasn't." "Yeah, right, Jaeger. Wipe the drool from your mouth." "I'm the one drooling? You look like you have rabies." "You want to take this outside?" "Both of you, stop being children." You glanced at the table making the most noise and saw that all ten of them were looking in your way. Some averted their eyes as others smiled at you, however, you gave a cold stare in return before looking back at your food. It wasn’t exactly intentional to look at them like that, it's basically just your usual expression. "Did you see that?" "She may be pretty, but she's rude." "Who does she think she is? Looking at us like that." "I didn't see what happened." "Of course you didn't. You were too busy stuffing your face with food." "I think we should go talk to her." "Yeah, teach her a lesson." "Guys, sit down. You can't do that do a new person." "Yeah, guys, what's wrong with you?... Wait like a week, then you can teach her a lesson." "Jean! Don't encourage them!" "Oi, you lot?" You stood at their table, their heads turning your way as they had just noticed that you were there. "If you try to beat me up, you'll be s-- What the hell are you doing?!" you yelled at the person on your left who just touched your ass. "Feeling your ass," he stated nonchalantly. "You people are pervs. I agree with whoever that it is." "Whoever that it is, is Ymir," said girl inserted. They all introduced themselves to you but you couldn't be any less interested. "Okay, whatever. I don't give a shit about who you are. I came here to tell you that if you, Eren, Ymir, Jean and Reiner, try to beat me up, you'll be sorry. And I don't understand, do you want to grope my ass or beat it, Reiner?" "Who said I can't do both?" he smirked as you rolled your eyes, about to go back to your table. "Wait, (Y/N). Why don't you sit with us?" "So I can get harassed? No, thanks." "Just sit with us. We promise we won’t do anything," Jean told you. With slight reluctance, you got your plate from the other table and sat on the end of the table next to Armin, everyone focused on you as you spoke about your life before you came here.
At times, you would notice brown eyes belonging to a strawberry-blonde girl and grey eyes belonging to a raven man flutter towards you, but every time you looked up, they pretended as if they weren't staring at you. You could feel their glares burn into you. And you knew Levi's stare was of anger, but what was that girl's problem? ~/~ You wore a vest top and shorts, training with Reiner who volunteered to, probably just so he could see you with fewer clothes on. It's been going on for the past few weeks. You were a bit distracted during training because you felt as if someone was watching you and they were giving off a dark aura. You looked around but couldn't find anyone. "(Y/N), are you okay?" "Yeah. Come on." You waited for him to attack you and he did but you were able to knock him down before you saw the cause of the dark aura in the distance. "Hey, you!" you shouted, going towards them. "Do you have something to say to me?" You crossed your arms over your chest. "No. Nothing at all." She clenched her jaw. "You're Petra, right?" "Yeah. Actually, I do want to tell you something, you stay away from Corporal Levi," she growled, scrunching your vest in her fist. "Woah, Petra! What are you doing to (Y/N)?" Reiner jogged up to the two of you. Damn, now you can't beat the crap out of her. She let go of you and put on a bright smile, facing Reiner who knew that that smile was fake. "Nothing. I was just giving her some advice about making friends." "We need to train so leave us alone," Reiner took your arm protectively and dragged you away, but you protested. "Wait. I'll train with Petra today," you smirked devilishly. "No." "Oi, Petra! How about you spar with me?" "... Why?" "Just." You shrugged. "Sure," she agreed when she saw Levi come outside of the building, taking the chance to get his attention. You knew she wasn't strong enough for her to beat you, so this wouldn't end well for her. You both got into a fighting stance, before you threw your fist forward at her face, but you stopped just before you hit her so she dodged the potential blow and wasn't able to elude the kick you gave at her side. She was about to topple over but she caught herself, not letting you be victorious just yet. She attempted to punch your gut but you blocked it by making a cross over yourself. A crowd formed around you two, including the Corporal that Petra seemed obsessed about. But, of course, with his short stature, he wasn't able to see who exactly was fighting, so he pushed people out of the way, able to reach the front and see you and Petra. She tried to trip you over but that failed miserably and she fell flat on her face. A few from the huddle snickered quietly as others applauded even though it wasn't a real win. You crouched down and whispered, "Good luck in impressing that stubborn idiot." You got back up, grabbed your uniform and walked off, ignoring Levi who called for you. "Hanji!" you called to get her attention as she strolled through the castle. "Yes?" "Does Petra like Levi or something?" "I think so, yes. Why are you asking?" "During my training, she was watching me and she said to stay away from him. We got into a small fight which quickly ended because of her stupidity. I'm guessing the only reason this happened is that she's jealous. But she's moronic if she thinks that I would try to move to Levi." "Who's moronic?" a familiar voice spoke from behind you. You turned around. "Petra. Why the fuck would she think that I like you? You're bothersome, you're stubborn, you're irritating, you're an ass, you annoy the hell out of me and you're a bastard." "Thanks," he replied sarcastically. "The same can be said about you." "Tch. Shut it, Ackerman." "You know, you have a temper problem. And you shouldn't talk to me like that." "This is who I am. I can talk to you in any way I like." "You might not be able to talk after I knock your teeth out," he threatened with a glare. "I'm not scared of you." "We'll see about that," he muttered before walking away. "And put some clothes on." "What did you do to Shorty to make him so angry with you?" "I called soldiers stupid. Got in a fight with him. We've argued a lot of times." "Oof. I would have advised you to stay on his good side." "Too late." You shrugged. "It won't last long. He'll soften up after some time." "I don't think he will. Whatever, I need to go 'put some clothes on'." "Okay. Can I borrow you after for help with experiments?" Hanji asked slowly, hoping you wouldn't yell at her like last time, saying how you didn't give a sh*t about it. "No," you bluntly said as you left her, going to your room but was stopped by an annoying figure who you rolled your eyes at. "Looking good, (Y/N)." "Shut up." "You look a little dirty, want to have a shower with me?" You grabbed Jean's collar and brought your face close to his, a glare etched on your visage as you saw his Adam's apple move down and then back into its place as he gulped. "Shut the hell up and I'll let this one time slide." He nodded and scurried off once you let you go of him, entering your room and locking the door behind you. You decided to shower since you were covered in sweat and you felt nasty. ~/~ "Eurgh, look who it is," a voice whispered a little too loud as you entered the mess hall for breakfast, striding to your usual table with a few of people that you don't mind being around and the few that aren't annoying you or bothering you in any way. "She doesn't belong here." "You know, I heard that before she came here she worked in a brothel." "Everyday, she wears her vest top and short shorts, acting like a slut." "The other day, she was being a bitch to me. She laughed at my figure when I was looking in my reflection. Then, she said that no one would love me when I have a body like this." "I've heard that she's flirted with every man she's had contact with." This has been going on for at least three months: people making fun of you, talking about you, pushing you about, calling you names and such. You haven't taken any of it to heart, but you wondered what happened to make nearly everyone despise you. Everyone but superiors and the ten scouts you had befriended first, and even though Levi dislikes you, he doesn't contribute to the crowd that is being cruel to you. He already hated you from the start. "They're still going at it?" "Forget about them," Erwin told you. "How can I when they're practically saying it to me? All of what they're saying isn't even true. And they shouldn't try to start a fight with me because I'll beat the sh*t out of them." "Well, you are a bitch, so that's true," Levi murmured. "Ackerman, I suggest you shut up before I beat the shit out of you." You rammed your heel into his foot under the table since you were opposite him. "Tch. You should be happy that some of us aren't part of those dumb brats." "Dumb?" you repeated. "So, you're saying that they're dumb for saying all that stuff about me?" "... No... They're stupid in general." "Mhm." "What was that?" He frowned. "What?" "That 'mhm'." "Nothing." After staring at each other questioningly, you both went quiet as the other superiors on your table carried on their own conversations. Halfway through breakfast, you felt something cold and wet being poured onto your head, soaking your shirt and falling down your shirt which sent a shiver through you. You stood up and turned around to the laughing bastards, kicking the boy in the nuts and slapping the girl which shut them up. "What the fuck is your problem?! What did I do to you?!" "Someone decided to go braless today," the girl whispered to the other. You looked down and felt your cheeks growing red, out of rage and embarrassment. Something landed on your head and hung over your chest. You realised that it was a cape that Levi threw at you, which you wrapped around yourself before heading to your room to change out of the drenched clothes that you had just changed into. "Why the hell are you doing this? Yeah, she can be a brat, but all of you are, so I don't know why you lot are acting like this towards her when she didn't do anything. Both of you have kitchen duty for two months. If I see you one of you two do anything to her, you won't see the end of it." "Yes, sir." "Now, get the hell out of my face," Levi ordered as he sat back down in his seat, the others on the table looking at him with surprise. Who knew he would stand up for you like that? "What are you looking at?" "How come you stood up for (Y/N) like that?" Miche asked. "I didn't stand up for her. I was scolding them for acting like that towards a cadet." "Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say," Hanji said quietly with a smirk. "You shut up, Shitty Glasses." "I'm just saying that I don't think you would have done that for any other scout." "... That may be true, but they're mistreating (Y/N) for no reason." "Getting close to her, are we?"
"Tch. Just shut up." "Shorty has a crush~" Hanji sang in a low voice near his ear as she sat next to him, her 'best friend'. "I've only known her for five damn months. How could I already like her?" "Why are you asking me? And five months isn't that short, it's quite long if you think about it." "I don't care. I don't like her." "Okay~ Whatever you say~" Levi shot daggers at her before going back to eating in silence, not interacting with any more annoying people who seem to have a habit of bothering him nearly every day. One day, they'll leave him and he can live in serenity. One day, when all the titans are rid of and he can leave this shithole. All he has to do wait for that damn day that's taking its time to arrive. Can't it be a little more considerate? "I have to agree with Hanji. You seem to be a little protective over (Y/N)," Erwin stated after some time. "I. Don't. Fucking. Like. That. Brat." "Calm down, Levi. It's not a bad thing to like (Y/N)," Moblit teased. "Tch." The raven stood up and left the mess hall as he could hear the others laughing at him in the background. He slammed the door shut and trudged to his office with a scowl. He found you standing outside his office, your hand reaching for the handle but you stopped when you saw him come your way. "What are you doing, brat?" "I was going to give you your cape back. Thanks," you muttered. "Shut up," he grumbled, snatching the material from your hands and stepping into his office, locking the door. "Oi! Why are you telling me to shut up when I said thanks?" you shouted. "Get away from my office!" he yelled back. You rolled your eyes and started to go back to the mess hall. "Last time I thank you, bastard," you mumbled to yourself. ~/~ Your door shut with a bang after you had stormed into it, and leaned your back against the wood, hiding your face in your hands as you cried. Your legs gave out so you dropped to the ground with your legs arched and your arms resting on your knees as you placed your head on your arms, feeling tears drop onto your lap, seeping through your clothes. Two minutes later, you heard laughing, yelling and then footsteps approach your room. Light knocks sounded from the door with the soft call of your name. You knew who it was, but didn't respond so they turned the handle, slowly pushing the door open, however, you prevented that from happening by sitting by the door. They slid through the small gap before closing the door again, crouching down to you. "(Y/N)." "Leave me alone!" you shouted, though it was muffled behind your sobs and your face was hidden. "No. You obviously need someone right now." "I hate you! I hate all of them! Just get the fuck out!!" you roared, tearing your face away from your arms and looking at Levi's gentle expression. He didn't seem startled at all. "... Why are they doing this to me?" you whispered and concealed your face again, not wanting Levi to see you in this state. "Ignore them." "You know, it's all that Petra's fault. The bitch is envious of me and just wants to break me down into nothing. All because she's in love with you and she thinks that I like you!" "Tch. I don't even like her. She can fuck off. And how is doing this going to make me fall for her? I was wondering why she was being more clingy than usual," he muttered, but it was more to himself before he turned his attention back to you. "Don't let her break you down. You're a strong woman, so don't let something petty like this ruin you." "What am I meant to do? You don't know how hard it is to overlook them. You don't know how hard it is to keep a straight face when I'm hurting inside. I don't care if Petra may be making them do this, I hate it!" Surprisingly, you felt arms loop around your cowered form and haul you onto Levi's lap which made you remove your head from your arms again, looking at the raven, who was now right in front of you and gazing at your bloodshot eyes. He gently wiped your tears away and brushed a few (H/C) tresses that stuck to your tear-stained face.
More tears escaped as you shoved your face into his chest, soaking his shirt with the salty moisture and snot. He cradled you in his arms until you stopped crying which was about under an hour. "Are you okay now?" "Yeah. Thank you," you murmured as you wiped your face with tissue that Levi got for you. "Don't mention it. Do you need to talk?" "What's there to talk about? Petra hates me so she got people to make my life hell and I broke down." "I don't know how you were able to put up with it for half a year." "Barely. I just put on a poker face." Levi gently grabbed your chin in between his index finger and thumb, tilting your head towards him as you saw a slight smile creep onto his lips. "Don't hide your feelings anymore," he whispered before tenderly kissing you, his eyes fluttering shut. You were taken aback before you were brought back to your senses, finding yourself kissing him back as you cupped his face with a single hand. One of his hands trailed up from your hips to your scalp, tangling his slender fingers in your tousled locks. He was the first to pull away with gleaming orbs gazing at you with affection, licking away the strand of saliva that connected his lips to yours. "I'll always be here for you. To protect you, to talk, to comfort you, or whatever else you want." "Thank you, Levi," you hummed, leaning your forehead against his, pecking his lips once more. "Come on. Let's go eat." "I don't want to go," you said with pleading eyes. "I told you that I'll be here for you. You have to eat something before you sleep." "Please, don't make me go." "Just sit with me. I'll make sure that no one does anything to you." "I can't." "You need to endure it to become stronger. I'll be right next to you, okay?."
Sighing shakily, you stood up with a nod. "Okay." "I like seeing this vulnerable side of you," Levi teased as he walked out of your room, you padding beside him. "Shut up. You aren't allowed to tell anyone about this." The Corporal only smirked as you rolled your eyes.
As you strolled through the corridors to get to the mess hall, a few people were lingering, standing on the side and snickering when you went past. You tried to ignore them, though, it was difficult. "I heard that she got Corporal Levi drunk to sleep with her." "I can't, Levi. I'm going back to my room." You proceeded to turn and walk away but he grabbed your forearm. "(Y/N)." He cupped your face with both of his hands, making you face him but you averted your eyes, feeling tears welling up. "Look at me." You reluctantly brought your eyes back to his. "She's a whore. She tried to make me have sex with her and my friend. She wanted a threesome!" "Levi, I'm going." You tried freeing yourself from his hold, but he didn't let you. "No. Look at me. Ignore them." "How am I meant to ignore them?!" "Look at me!" he commanded. "... You can ignore them if you put your mind to it. Don't let them cause you grief because then it pains me to see you hurt. I don't like seeing you in pain so don't get affected by them. Ignore them and keep your eyes on me." A tear rolled down your cheek so he embraced you tightly, stroking your back soothingly. He let out an inaudible huff, wishing he could relieve your pain. "I won't force you to go to the mess hall. Go to my office, I'll bring you food." You nodded and pulled away from his grip. When you made your way to his office, people would say or do things but you stayed strong, and you were kind of proud of yourself once you made it into his office. You sat down on his sofa, waiting for him to come back. About five minutes later, the raven appeared with a tray of two bowls, bread and two glasses of water. He settled it onto his desk after you helped him clear the surface. You both sat down and ate together, allowing him to see your smile that he was deprived of ever since people started to harass you. After years of dreaming of having a home, having someone to stay with you, they came true. You have someone strong, feisty and you're sure you'll have plenty more heated arguments to come. On top of it all, he was damn sexy.
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goji-pilled · 3 years
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Okay @princekirijo you want an essay? Well here it is now, or as I like to call it Felix's "Asumari is great and this fandom has no fucking taste" rambling and infodump. Congrats fellas, thanks to Prince you ALL get an asumari essay. But before that I'll try to give you a rundown of Mari and Asuka. 
(I'm also so sorry for putting this long ass post on everyone's dashboard)
(Spoiler warning for Evangelion 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time!!)
Alright on one hand we have Mari Illustrious Makinami. Her whole deal? She's a walking ray of sunshine, literally lol. Unlike any other character in the Evangelion franchise she doesn't suffer from her trauma, she's quite literally the only healthy and functioning human being, she's just slightly leaning towards "batshit crazy" with the stunts she pulls 🤷‍♂️. Other than that she just loves living, she loves being with people, she keeps moving forward, stays positive and decides to live life to it's fullest even after she experiences loss and multiple apocalyptic events (Second Impact, Third Impact, etc.) and she really just embodies the joy of living. That's all there is to her, or at least all we know.
On the other hand, we have Asuka Langley Shikinami who is... well it's hard to explain what she is to be honest. She's part-German and part-Japanese and part of a line of clones specifically made with the purpose to pilot an Evangelion and later on be used as a sacrifice to trigger another Impact (ITS COMPLICATED I KNOW-) Asuka is, unlike Mari, very much suffering from her trauma. She doesn't have her parents and has a very deep seated belief that she's completely alone, which she says doesn't matter as long as she can pilot the Eva. She also very much wants to fight and kill angels all by herself, and it's seriously messing with her when she can't achieve that.
Now we get to the more interesting parts (hopefully this so far wasn't too confusing, then again it's Eva and even I can't fully wrap my head around it all LMAO)
In the second Rebuild movie (Evangelion 2.0 You can (not) advance) we get introduced to both of them, Mari's introduction scene (in the original English dub) has her pilot an Eva and singing about how she'll take the world on by herself, while in the third movie's (Evangelion 3.0 You can (not) redo) opening scene she's piloting the Eva again but this time it's together with Asuka (in her own Unit 02 though) and during that Mari sings about how wonderful it is not to be alone. It's nothing big yet, but it's a really cute detail me thinks,,, you know what else I love about them? They bicker and they banter and it's genuinely so fun to listen to shskdhsuwj
(For a quick catch up: During the end of 2.0 Shinji (the protagonist) triggers another apocalyptic event, the Near Third Impact, and was only stopped due to Kaworu (the guy in my pfp) stepping in. Also between 1.0/2.0 and 3.0/3.0+1.0 are about 14 years (without Shinji bc he's like comatose) where A LOT happens AND we learn in 3.0 that Eva pilots don't age physically bc of "The curse of the Eva"... honestly Eva is wild lmao)
Okay okay I'll get back to it!
So one thing that happens is that Asuka during 2.0 develops a crush on Shinji (girl why-), unfortunately things take a turn for the worse. Asuka had volunteered to be the testpilot for a new Eva (Unit 03), she seemed happy at the time and it was a really sweet build up with the "I can smile, I didn't know I could still do that."-line. And then? Then it turns out the Ninth Angel had infected Unit 03 (Angels are basically the Kaijus they fight using Evas btw). The thing goes on a loose and Shinji is forced to fight it (With Asuka inside mind you), he refuses and his father uses an autopilot to destroy Unit 03. And boy did it destroy the angel, well it and it crushed Asuka between its jaws (you can actually hear her scream btw haha pain :)).
Asuka survived though, but the whole incident cost her her humanity and she ended up becoming an angel herself/she took the place of the Ninth. But despite that, there's one person who keeps believing in Asuka's humanity, who fiercely believes Asuka is still a human and tells her as much.
Yep, that one person is Mari and she keeps holding onto that belief until the very end when Asuka uses her last resort, which is using the power of an angel (Doing so was a guaranteed death sentence btw). Mari's own words (in the German dub) were, "Princess, you're giving up being human…" AND IT MAKES ME SO EMO GOD FUCK
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While I'm at it, Mari and Asuka are a fucking killer combo as a team. They rely on each other for support in combat, listen to the other's orders and advice. Especially in Asuka's case it's kind of a big deal that she so openly relies and counts on Mari's support. Like these two trust each other with their damn lifes!!! Holy shit!!
Guess what though, they also have nicknames for eachother. Mari always calls Asuka "Princess" or "(Your) Highness" while Asuka calles Mari "Four-eyes" / "Four-eyed chrony (idk how you spell that tbh RIP" Even better though, in the German dub Asuka calls Mari "Brillerella" as in a combination of "Brille" (German for glasses) and "Cinderella",,,,Cinderella and her Prince,,,Brillerella and her Princess,,, man, that was a gay fucking move of the translation team. Spoiler: I owe them my life.
Funfact: There's exactly two times throughout the Rebuild movies where Mari uses Asuka's actual name. These two times being when she watches Asuka "die" and be used as a sacrifice for Gendo's selfish plan and when later on she begs Shinji, "So please the Princess… Asuka needs your help!" And the best part? That wasn't even the first time she did that. The mentioned line came from 3.0+1.0, but she did that too in 3.0 with the, "At least save the Princess!" line (although her tone was much more...pissed, like she was really angry lol)
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Remember the crush Asuka had on Shinji? Well due to the Unit 03 incident a whole lot of other shit got mixed into that and her feelings for him in general became really bitter (understandably so). Now Mari being who she is sometimes teases Asuka about said old crush but she really does want Asuka to get closure and sort that mess out. 
As an example for the teasing, in 3.0 there's a scene that goes like this (please imagine Mari with a literal :3 face while saying that):
"Unit! Are you back in the game?"
"I'm on it, your Highness. But first things first, how was our little puppy (Shinji)? Did he sit like a good little boy?"
"He's exactly the same! Same stupid face talking mayhem!"
"That goofy face of his, that's what you wanted to see? Riiiiight?"
"Shut up! I went there to bat him one!... And I feel better!"
There's also a very short bonus manga that was released in Japan for Thrice Upon a Time's release that has Mari trying to convince Asuka to come with her on the mission to get Shinji, given everything that follows, it's just another thing to prove my point. And the final bit relating to that is this:
"Feeling better now?"
"Yeah, I do feel better."
That's the exchange Asuka and Mari have after they talked to Shinji, it's nothing special but I think it's really sweet and this time Asuka actually sounded like she was feeling better instead of when she was screaming after she nearly broke pretty thick glass with her fist (If she had hit someone with that much force she definitely would've broken something omggg #violentimpulsesgang)
To get back on track though: I already mentioned it but during the second half of 3.0+1.0 Asuka "dies" (and honestly that entire scene is worth its own in-depth post because its just one huge parallel to The End of Evangelion), the point is: You can tell that the loss of Asuka honestly hits Mari hard. Not only because of how Mari screams Asuka's name but also because of her expressions. They're pained, like really fucking pained and Mari even apologizes to her that she has to fall back due to the fact that she's injured AND because eveything is going wrong.
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After the events of Evangelion 3.0 these two got seperated from eachother, Mari was with WILLE (the organization both of them are with) and on board of Wunder (the ship WILLE basically operates from) while Asuka was in a Village full of (Near) Third Impact Survivors. When they do meet again it went like this:
Asuka, barely back, comes to the door and calls, "I'm back." And within seconds of Asuka stepping into their room after the door opens Mari already runs towards her, arms wide open and she says, "Welcome back, your Highness! Good job. I missed you so much!" And she says that while she literally nuzzles into Asuka,,,like,,,what the fuck gay people real!!! 
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Best part? Asuka clearly has enough strength to push Mari completely away if she were uncomfortable, but she doesn't. Asuka merely wanted enough space to look at the room (because Mari managed to horde even more books lol) and play her game. During their entire renunion Mari keeps hugging her, and part of me thinks that perhaps deep down Asuka actually enjoys the feeling of physical affection.
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Before we get to the last point though, let me say that Asuka and Mari have scenes in 3.0+1.0 that parallel Shinji and Kaworu's from 3.0. (Fyi Kaworu loves Shinji (yeah, like that, and 3.0 was basically them being gay as fuck for an hour) so like...do I even need to explain? 
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And then of course there's also this, the "Take care of yourself, Princess…" line. That is the last time Mari talks to Asuka and as much as that line alone already is so much, it's Mari's expression in particular that kills me. Because this? This soft, almost bittersweet expression she has, as she basically says goodbye? Because she knows Asuka will finally be happy and safe? It just makes me feel so much actually. Man.
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In the end it's a fact that Mari loved Asuka, wether that is interpreted as platonic or romantic by someone is up to them. But it is a fact that Asuka was loved enough that someone wanted to hug her, was happy to see her, to praise her, was hurt by her loss, wanted her to be safe, that someone told her "Take care of yourself…" Asuka was really and honestly so loved that someone would tell her, "I missed you."
But Asuka? Asuka was too hurt, too wrapped up in her own head to actually see how loved she was by Mari (and other people) that she genuinely believed she's completely alone and always will be alone.
It makes the "Take care of yourself" line hit even harder to me, because it's not only Mari's goodbye, but it's a goodbye during the one time Asuka allowed herself to be vulnerable and admit what she really wanted.
And honestly? All of this? Its makes me feel so many things and I just love them  so much man.
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jadedxrealityw · 3 years
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-Second And Third Chance- Tony Stark x Female Reader
    ☼-☪-☼
   Kody: favorite dilf- i’m sorry lmao
   Movie/Show: after endgame. but no one is dead because i’m still in denial.
   Summary: (Backstory included) Being the fiancee of Tony Stark was all you could dream of, but not everyone is perfect and Tony is certainly no saint. Even with Thanos being gone, Tony is still obsessing on how to keep you safe from other worldly beings, but due to his own ignorance ends up losing you all by himself. 
   Possible Triggers / Warnings: angst with fluff ending, cursing, Tony being Tony, F.R.I.D.A.Y and Wanda being your besties lmao, 
    ☼-☪-☼
   you wondered how you were ever came across such a man. Narcissistic, arrogant, just completely full of himself in every way possible. You had met the infamous Tony Stark at a shield ball/party so long ago. He was charming, you’ll admit, but you were fully aware of his playboy status. 
   you wore a long black off the shoulder dress that started skin tight at the top and flowy at the bottom, also sporting a slit down the side of the dress. Some said hi and gave you compliments on your outfit. You wanted to find Fury so you could talk to him as he was the only person you really knew. 
   walking along the floor a woman holding a platter of drinks offered you one and you gladly accepted it. You spotted Fury a few tables away, talking amongst Natasha Romanoff and Steve Rogers. Once you made it over, you slipped yourself into a empty seat. 
   Fury noticed you first and patted your shoulder “Didn’t think these parties were your scene Agent L/n” he spoke with his usual formality. You hummed into the glass of wine as you took a sip “They are not, but i needed a reason to drink” you admitted, earning a chuckle from Natasha. 
   you then took the time to look at both of them and smile “Natasha Steve. Still doing the whole saving the world thing?” you say. Steve cracks a smile and nods once “The world can’t seem to give us a break” he says. A chuckle bubbled in your throat “Not that you would take it though, right cap?”
   you four spent a good thirty minutes talking about the usual, until Maria Hill showed up then you got to talking about new missions that he Fury only trusted you all with. You were like Fury third in command. Someone Maria had recommended if something would have ever happened to her. 
   not to long Natasha and Steve had left the party earlier then expected, but they were always in the rush. You, Fury, and Maria were now standing next to the table. Maria’s phone rang and she slipped it from her bag and pressed the green button “Yes?...Give me ten minutes” 
   she hung it up and put it back in her bag. Fury looked at her with a questioning stare “I’m going to assume Romanoff or Rogers were on the end of that line. Would the rest of us be needed?” he asked. Maria shook her head “No. Just a minor problem. I’ll call if it escalates”
   Fury nods once and gestures with his head to the exit, dismissing her. They were so loyal to each other. Maria then sends you a polite smile before exiting the ballroom. You placed your cup on the table were you all resided minutes ago “Should we be concerned?” you ask. 
   he shakes his head “They’ll be fine. I like to come in at the end anyway, makes me alluring” he says, making you stifle a bit of laughter. “Right” you agreed not really wanting to dwell in that subject. Only seconds later is when an unfamiliar voice spoke “Nick”
   both you and Fury turn around and see the nice tailored suit belonging to the less nice man of Tony Stark. Fury cracks a small grin and holds his hand out “Stark, fashionably late” he points out. Tony grabs his hand and shakes it “Well if i wasn’t i’d be stuck looking like you losers.”
   did this grown man just call you both losers? Okay then. You folded your arms over your chest, not really paying much attention to there very testosterone filled conversation. Tony eyes removed themselves from Fury and looked at you “and who is this?” he asked. 
   you removed your eyes from the people walking past you and looked towards the billionaire “ This is Agent L/n. works alongside Agent Hill and myself” Fury explains. You give Tony a polite nod “It’s Y/n L/n” you say. Tony grins and went to say something more when Fury coughed. 
   “I’m going to use the bathroom. Tony don’t be weird” he spoke before leaving you both by your lonesome. Great. “May i offer you another drink?” he asked and you shook your head “I already had one and i have to be alert at all times. It’s in the job description. Very fine print”
   “Sounds like you need a vacation or a xanax” he makes a face, earning a small smile from you “Maybe, but i like my job too much” you reply. Tony steps to the side and gestures with his hand for you to walk. You didn’t see much wrong with that, just a friendly stroll. Why not. 
   you step in forward and Tony lifts his arm up a bit for you to link yours. ‘What a charmer’ you thought before slipping your arm through his. YOu both began to walk slowly through the ballroom “So what does your significant other think about how much you work?” he asked. 
   ‘very slick’ “I don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend at the moment. Tried dating on the job, but no one really understands how much working here changes you in a way” you explained, Tony nodding along with your answer. Being an Agent had its perks and downfalls. 
   “Why did you get into this line of work, if you don’t mind me asking?” Tony questions. It was strange seeing him be so genuine with his wording, the complete opposite of what Fury, Steve, Natasha, or Maria had to say about him. It was pleasant.  
   you gulp, a few choice memories deciding to flood your mind “I worked CIA with my sister for awhile. Our whole family was worked in some form of Government job. Then the 2012 attack happened and we were told to stand down. Me and my sister were stubborn so we didn’t”
   you inhale deeply and managed to keep your formal smile upon your face despite the urge to down another glass of wine and call it a night “No one knew about aliens back then, but we wanted to help people in any way we could. In hindsight it was very stupid of us”
   your mind began to wander to something else, the smile fading from your face and be replaced with a blank stare. For an expression so neutral it would be hard to tell that you were reliving a terrible memory. Crashing, a blood curdling scream, your pleas, and a then silence.
   Tony looked at you once you had stopped talking abruptly and used his free hand to pat your shoulder. You broke out of whatever horrific trance you were in “Sorry, zoned out- anyway my sister ended up passing, i was charged with treason funny enough, but Fury convinced them to drop the charges”
   Tony chose to ignore the brief daze you were in for your own sake and you two continued your stroll. The night ended with more talking and much needed laughter. He also offered you a ride home and you gladly took him up on that. It was really nice. 
   when you got to your house he asked you on a date to a very nice restaurant near your place. You accepted even though your brain was telling you not to. On the day of the date you ended up being called in and canceled. He said he understood and that you could reschedule anytime. 
   you never did go on that date 
    ☼-☪-☼
   just like most things it only happened once and you figured that was that. Spending a couple magical hours talking to Tony Stark would be any girls dream and just like dreams you awoke to reality. You had a job and had many other important things to do beside fantasize about a billionaire. 
   that was until Hydra took over Shield in 2014, you and Fury faked your deaths. Tony actually went to your funeral, wearing sunglasses and standing away from everybody. It was pretty sad, but you had a job to do. fury actually came back, but you stayed in hiding.
   then in 2015 when Ultron was a the main problem and you were itchy to bash some robots skulls in- wait they don’t have skulls. Whatever, Fury wouldn’t get involved. Then Sokovia became a giant plane and Fury caved. After a year of doing grunt work you could finally fight. 
   all the staff, including you loaded up a helicarrier. You made your way to the command center where Fury and Maria resided “Ah Agent Y/n. Glad that you could join us. Already suited up i see?” Fury points to your all black outfit and mask. 
   shrugging, you walked towards the front “I’ve been ‘dead’ for a year, cut me some slack for being excited” you say. Fury nods, agreeing with your statement before facing forward. “Set a course to Sokovia and making it fast” Maria announced.
   and with that, you were off
    ☼-☪-☼
  Maria hacked into the Avengers coms and connected Fury’s, your’s, and her own. “Where else am i gonna get a view like this?” a woman said through your earpiece. You instantly recognize it as Nat. You missed her so much, god you couldn’t wait to talk to her again. 
   “Glad you like the view Romanoff. It’s about to get better” Fury spoke, folding his arms behind his back, interlocking his hands. The helicarrier started to raise above Sokovia. Holy shit this is high. As you ascended you were able to see Nat and Steve standing together. Nat cut her hair, it looks pretty.
   rest of the staff began to enter the command room and set up “Nice right? Pulled her out of mothballs with a couple old friends. She’s dusty, but she’ll do” he spoke. “Fury you son of a bitch” Steve said right back. Did he just curse? That had to be Ultron. 
   “Woah, you kiss your mother with that mouth?” Fury said with a fake surprised tone. His comment made you chuckle a bit since he had a foul mouth. Hypocrisy am i right? “Altitude is 18,000 and climbing” Maria spoke, typing away on her keyboard like desk. 
   another guy spoke up from behind you “Lifeboats secure to deploy, disengage in three...two...take them out ” he clicked one final button and sat back. You felt the helicarrier rumble beneath you, which meant the lifeboats were being sent to the ground.
   oh shit. You were supposed to be on one of those. “Shit!” you yell before running out the command room. You raced down the stairs and made your way to the deck. You watched as a lifeboat flew right below. This is such a bad idea. Your doing it anyway.
   taking a couple steps back, you mentally prepare yourself before running as fast as you could. As you touch the edge you jump and launch yourself off the helicarrier. The lifeboat came closer to you until your shoulder collided with it. You hissed and slowly pushed yourself up “Damn- that’s gonna sting”
   “Did you just jump off the helicarrier?” Fury says through the coms
   “Who did?” Steve spoke
   “Oh you know, backup-” Fury replies before Maria cut in “Sir we have multiple bogeys on our starboard flank” she spoke and indeed when you looked up you saw a bunch of Iron man suits flying above. Oh shit. “Show them what he got” he replied back. 
   you reach down and pull both guns out the holsters that were on both of your thighs “It feels good to be back” you said to yourself. You heard something fly above you that wasn’t a Bogey and saw War Machine- Rhodey blasting through a bunch of them. He’s pretty cool.
   just as you were about to bask in the moment a Bogey landed on the lifeboat and came charging at you. It swung and you ducked just in time, lifting your foot to kick it in the chest. As it stumbled back you raised your gun and shot it straight in the head.
   the literal lights behind its glass ‘eyes’ flickered until it shut off and it fell to the ground. “It better not be that easy to kill the actual Iron Man” you spoke. “And your not gonna find out” a voice spoke. You turn around and see Tony in his suit, with his arm raised, ready to attack you. 
   you raise your hands “Woah- What the hell Stark!” you shout. Oh shit- you had a mask. “I’m on your side” you add. Tony tilts his head “Really, prove it” he says. You slowly move your hand. as to not startle him and slowly pull the mas down from your face “Hey Tony”
   he visibly tensed up. His mask retracting back into his face. Still has handsome as ever. He reaches up with both arms and takes off his helmet, dropping it to the side. “So is faking your death a Shield initiation thing or you just really didn’t want to go out with me?” he asked. 
   you cracked a smile and dropped your arms to your sides “I told you work gets in the way” you said. He went to say something when four Bogeys landed on the lifeboat. Damn you couldn’t let any on until you landed. Tony groaned dramatically and shot one in the chest, causing it to fall off the ship.  
   “No. See regular work doesn’t involve faking your death. I went to your funeral you know?” he says. You drop off and push off the seat and onto the Bogey, wrapping your thighs around its head. You push the barrel of the gun against the top of its head and shot “I know. I was there!” you shout.
   “Oh that’s just great. You saw me all vulnerable and teary” he says with a scoff. what was happening right now. You drop to the ground and the Bogey grabs your leg, pulling you back. You shot it in the arm and it lets go “I actually didn’t know you cried. That’s kind of cute though”
   you shoot the Bogey in the head and stand up on your feet. Just as you are about to take a step, a metal arm wraps around your neck, pulling you back. Oh yeah there was four. You went to reach behind as Tony shot through it’s head. The grip around your neck was released and you pushed it’s corpse off.
   “Your welcome” Tony spoke, he still sounded snappy. “Your such a baby Tony. What can i do to make you stop moping?” you ask, putting one of your guns into the holster. You look behind you as the lifeboats pull up next to Sokovia “One date after all this. So i can show you what you missed of course”
   you crack a smile, pulling your hood off your head. You raise your hand and hold up one finger “One date. That’s it” you say and he nods along “That works for me” he replies before picking up his helmet. He puts it on his head “But you’ll come back for more” he says as his face is covered by metal once more.
    ☼-☪-☼
   present
   you ended up did going on that date with Tony and he was right, there would be multiple date and girts until he finally asked you to be in a relationship. It was any big grand gesture that you expected from him, it was simple and sweet. It took him three years for him to propose in 2018.
   but he was always one to wait. 
   the second battle with Thanos, but everyone seemed to be somewhat recovering, but Tony wasn’t himself anymore. You already knew he was a workaholic, but it had never been this bad. He’d stay up all night working on new tech. Security, suit adjustments, anything. 
   when it first started happening you chalked it up to his response to trauma. One night you suggested he’d go to therapist. Just one session and if he thought it would work then he could continue and vise versa. Tony ended up shooting down the idea with a couple harsh words. 
   it was strange to see him yell at you because he had never done before. It was like you were talking to an entirely different person. It scared you to be honest, but you loved him. A whole year after Thanos had gone by and he was just falling deeper and deeper into his work and less into you.
   “Friday, is Tony awake?” you spoke, pouring coffee into a black mug. You place it on the silver tray and grab the light beige cardigan off the counter, slipping it over your white sports bra. “Yes Miss. Would you like me to inform him your coming down to the lab?” Friday asked.
   “No that’s alright. I’d rather surprise him. Thank you Friday” you say and grab the tray off the counter, it had a mug of coffee and a plate of pancakes. You knew he wouldn’t have eaten already “Just doing my job Miss” she replies. You smile to yourself. You liked listening to her accent. 
       ☼-☪-☼
   you push open the door with the side of your hip since your hands were full “Tony!” you call out, looking around the lab one time. You stop as you see your lovers head pop up behind a machine you were unfamiliar of “Y/n? What’re you doing up? It’s late” he said, putting down a tablet.
   you roll your eyes and walk over to the big table in the middle, placing the tray down “It’s nine in the morning, love” you reply. Was he starting to lose track of time now? This place needed more windows clearly. Tony put on a confused face as he scratched the back of his neck “Really?”
   nodding, you lift up the mug of coffee from the tray and make your way over to Tony. You dodge a few tools laying on the ground and hand him the cup “Drink” you say. He takes it from you and brings it to his lips “Thanks” he says. While he drank you studied his face. He looked so exhausted.
   it broke your heart
   “You look terrible by the way” you comment, causing him to crack a small smile. “You said yes to this face, remember that” he retorts. Well he wasn’t wrong about that one. “That is true, seriously i want you out the lab today and into bed. Tomorrow is an important day”
   Tony goes silent for a moment and you can tell he was trying really hard to think “Tony” you said, your voice sounding like a mom who was getting ready to lecture there child for forgetting to do homework. “I know i know- important day. Can’t wait for that...day”
   you narrowed your eyes “Friday” you called out. “Yes Miss” she replies instantly. “Read me Tony’s schedule that he set for himself for the week” you ask. Tony steps forward, but you take a step back, moving away from him. “There is nothing on Mr. Stark’s schedule this week Miss” 
   wow
   moving away from Tony, you walk over to the table “It’s our anniversary tomorrow you ass” you snap at him. Tony sighs and runs his hand over his face “I’ve been busy-” “You’ve never forgot it before” your tone was unusually calm, which through Tony off. 
   “Thanos is dead Tony” 
   “I know-”
   “Then what are you doing?!” you shout, shocking yourself at the loudness of your own voice. “I’m trying to keep you safe!” he exclaims. Your fist clench. God you loved this man, but you wanted to punch him in the nose “You know i thought that you would get over this, but i can’t take much more”
   your words seem to scare Tony a bit, but you continued to speak “It’s been a year Tony. You don’t sleep next to me, we barely talk unless it’s me making sure you don’t fucking starve to death, we haven’t been intimate in god knows how long. I’m tired of being neglected”
   crying for a man was so pathetic, so you reached up and wiped any forming tears away with your thumb. Tony reached his arms out and wrapped them around you. You wanted to push him away, but he hasn't hugged you in so long, so you gave in. 
   he rubbed the back of your head as you let a few tears fall onto his shirt “I’ll stop okay- look i promise i’ll get some sleep and will have a whole day together okay?” he says. You were mad and you wanted to scream at him, but you also loved him and wanted to give him a second chance.
   “Okay, but i swear Tony. You screw this up and-” you were cut off by him placing his lips on yours. Damn Stark. You smiled lightly into the kiss and pull away a couple seconds later “and you’ll throw me out on my ass i know.” he says. 
   you ended up making Tony go to sleep in your shared room while you cleaned up his lab and such. 
    ☼-☪-☼
   the anniversary, night 
   you were waiting outside a restaurant since Tony wanted to show up in his car to ‘swoon’ you wearing a black jumpsuit, it was his favorite color on you You looked at your phone and noticed he was about ten minutes late, but that didn’t worry you much since he liked to be fashionably late. 
   he’d come. He wouldn’t risk his last chance.
   would he?
    ☼-☪-☼
   after two hours Happy ended up picking you up and taking you back to your home. He apologized for Tony a couple times, but you said it was fine. Once you got home you kicked off your heels at the door. You were kind of running on autopilot just in shock and realization at the same time.
   you knew what you had to do, but at the same time you didn’t want to, but it was over. You gave Tony a chance and he blew it. Nine years down the drain in a flash. You just couldn’t believe it. Walking down the hall, you wipe your face from the warm tears.  
   shutting the door to your shared bedroom, you go over to the closet “Miss you seem to be in distress is there anyway i can help?” Friday spoke. For an AI she was very self aware on feelings. “Is Tony awake Friday?” you ask, going over to your closet. “No Miss, he is asleep in the lab. May i call someone for you?”
   you open the closet and pull out a suitcase you had in there and bring it over to the bed “Call Wanda” you say as you unzip the suitcase, opening it up and throw it on the bed. “Of course Miss, contacting Wanda Maximoff” she replies. After a couple seconds you hear her voice. 
   “Y/n? It’s late, are you alright?” she asked. You had confided in Wanda about your relationship problems with Tony since you were both in a long term relationship. You had also told her about the anniversary thing and Tony’s last chance. she said if it didn’t work out yo could stay at her place.
   “Hey Wanda- uh. Yeah i know it’s late but-” you didn’t get to finish speaking when Wanda cut you off “Are you crying? Tony didn’t come did he? Know what? i’m on way. He better like a car through his window” she threatens, you could hear her moving around and the sound of keys. Well damn-
   you began to grab your clothes from your dresser and stuff them in your suitcase “He’s sleeping, just pull in the front. I’ll send you the gate code okay?” you say, beginning to take off the jumpsuit you were wearing. “Fine, but no promises if i see him in the street. I’ll see you soon Y/n, goodbye”
   Wanda hung up the phone “Friday-” “I sent Wanda the gate code. Before you leave would you like to leave a message for Mr. Stark?” Friday asked. You grab a dark green sweater and jeans from your dresser and throw them on quickly. You didn’t bother to pack the jumpsuit. 
   you wanted Tony to know why you had left so he could see the consequences of his actions and so that he wouldn’t tear the city apart thinking you were kidnapped. “I will, can you record a holographic message?” you ask. “Yes Miss, also Wanda will be arriving in 15 minutes”
   “Okay”
    ☼-☪-☼
   Tony awoke to the sound of his alarm blaring off into his ear “Shit. Friday shut that off!” he groans, lifting his head from the table “Yes Boss” she replies and the alarm shuts off. “Y/n has left a message for you to listen too. It is very important” she adds.
   “Play it” he says going to lay his head back down on the table “It is a holographic message, Boss” Friday says. Tony begrudgingly lifts his head and leans it on his arm “Play it” he repeats. A second later you appeared sitting on the chair at the table with a blue hue around you. 
   “Hey Tony” you spoke a half smile on your face. tony would have found comfort in it if he doesn’t your puffy eyes and saddened expression. His head lifted on his arm “Remember our anniversary, you know your last chance and all that? Yeah.” you began. Tony sighed mumbling curses under his breath.
    “I care about you, i have since you talked to me at the Shield dance, but i haven’t been your first priority in a while and i get it, but you promised when i left Shield that you would always make time for me. I know that Thanos shook you and you won’t admit it, but you need realize that something bad isn’t lurking around every corner”
   Tony watched as you reached up and rubbed your eyes, the scene tugging on his heartstrings “We need a break from each other Tony, just for a little while. I’m going to stay with some friends. Please try to help yourself, get out the lab, clean yourself up, all of that.”
   you pulled something off your ring finger and placed it on the table. Tony looked down and saw the silver ring with three aquamarine stones. He remembered proposing to you with it. You said the color reminded you of his reactor. Weirdly enough your hologram looked up at him and smiled. 
   “I’ll be waiting” you said and then flickered away “That’s the end of the message, Boss” Friday says. Tony slowly picked up the ring off the table. You had recorded the message in hear, talking to his sleeping body. He wished he had woken up. 
    ☼-☪-☼
   three months later
   staying with Wanda was fun, but after a month or so you decided to get your own place. As much as you loved your big house you shared with Tony you bought small cabin well away from the city. It was quiet, it was outdoors and you loved it. 
   when you and Tony got engaged you ended up retiring from Shield so you could be more at home and help Tony with his work, but now even though you didn’t need a job you also didn’t like the idea of sitting on your ass. In that night of packing you put your old suit in there while on autopilot. 
   It took awhile, but you called up Fury and he was more than happy to let you back in “What does Stark have to say about all this?” he asked and you just sighed quietly “What Tony doesn’t know won’t hurt him” you replied and he didn’t ask any more questions after that. 
   getting back into your old life was pretty easy. All you needed was to get back into your regular exercise regiment that you had been lacking on and you felt more confident than ever. You didn’t feel neglected or forgotten, the complete opposite, you felt badass. 
   one day when you were walking out the store after picking up some groceries you felt eyes on you as you walked along the sidewalk. After years of being an Agent you knew when you were being followed. What was strange was that it felt like someone was watching you from above.
   having a hunch at who it might be you quickly looked up and see a quick blur of red and blue swing away from your vision. Was this kid following you? but why? You duck into an alley way and walk slowly. You hear him drop behind you and follow your steps. 
   “Peter”
   “Hi” he replies in nervous tone. You turn around, placing your free hand on your hip “Why have you been following me all week Peter?” yopu ask. You haven’t talked to Peter in months. Did he need something? Peter lifts his arm and grabs the top of his mask, pulling it off of his head. 
   he was lucky you were in a remote part of the city “Mr. Stark told me you weren’t together at the moment” he starts, looking at his feet. “I just wanted to make sure you were doing alright” he says and flashes a toothy grin. Aw- wait. “Did Tony ask you to check on me?”
   Peter shook his head “No. He’s been busy with setting up the new senteries and therapy- i mean i don’t know. I just missed you and i can tell Mr. Stark is trying to change, but i hate to see you both so sad. I couldn’t imagine not being with Mj” he says. This kid was too adorable. 
   not only that he went out of his way to see how you were doing. Wait- what did he say about Tony “What senteries?” you asked, stepping closer to him. Peter started to fidget a bit “Uh- i really have to get going-” “Peter” you said in a demanding tone. 
   he exhaled deeply, knowing he wasn’t getting out of this “Mr. Stark has a whole line of senteries to sell to the senator so he can finally retire from being Iron Man. Not fully retire just on a long term vacation- that’s what he called it.” he spoke. Holy shit- you hoped he had done this for himself
   and you as well- but mostly himself
   a smile creeped onto your face. The most stubborn man you had ever met changed. “When does he plan on doing this?” you say to Peter “A dinner party this weekend. I wasn’t supposed to say anything until it was done. He was going to do some grand gesture to show you he’s changed” 
   you shook your head and placed a hand on Peter’s shoulder “Don’t be. For once i’m doing the grand gesture”
    ☼-☪-☼
   saturday 
   after figuring out and planning on when and where you were going to show up you decided to tap into Friday’s systems and watch most of his speech then find Tony when the time was right, preferably when he was alone. Being with Tony for so long you figured out a way to enter your shared home, undetected.
   once you were in the building you hid away in a spare room that was never used “Friday show me the room Tony’s in” you spoke, pulling out your phone “Yes Miss” she spoke and on your screen you saw Tony in the dining room. You lift your phone and flick it so its projected off the screen.
   your eyes latched to Tony as soon as it turned on. He looked so different and healthy. It was pleasing to see that he was doing much better. You were also glad he took your advice. A warmth invaded your chest, it’s like you fell in love with him all over again. 
   gosh how you wanted to run into his arms that very moment. 
   “So Stark, why retire now?” the senator asked, taking a sip of wine from the glass he held. Tony seemed to tense up the question, but no one noticed other then you and Tony himself “If you asked me three months ago i would have told you to go to hell and that i don’t need to retire”
   “and now?”
   “Well back then i had my fiancee and thought i was the king of the world. Then i lost her because of my workaholic nature- also i’m not retiring Iron, Man will still be here for whoever needs him, but i think it’s time i put my future wife first if i want to keep her” he shrugs his shoulders casually.
   most at the table were stunned into silence before the senator lifted his hand for tony to shake “I guess Tony Stark does have a heart” he spoke and Tony shook his hand. You felt something warm come down your face and reached to wipe the tears away.
   god- what a charmer. Always knew just what to say.
   “Well this was fun, but my finacee i’ve been talking about is actually here on the moment” he said. Wait what? You looked at the screen as Tony’s head turned towards the camera, sending you a wink. How the hell did he find out?! Tony grabbed a pen from his pocket and signed the paper.
   “Happy will show you all out” Tony waved them off before walking out the room “If you step out the room you’ll be able to meet Mr. Stark in the hallway” Friday spoke. Oh so she snitched. Betrayal at it’s finest “Thanks Friday” you spoke before stepping out the room. 
   as you turned your head you come face to face with your husband to be, except he seemed nervous? “You look great- well you always look great” Tony says, making you form a smile “I’m proud of you” you say back. Tony reaches up, using this thumb to wipe away a stray tear. 
   “That means a lot coming from you. I can’t believe i let you slip away” his voice got darker, a frown forming. “I’m right here” you open your arms out. tony takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against him. “But seriously Tony i will really leave you next time”
   he nods “I know i know. You can have the whole house if i do” he says, making you chuckle. After a moment of staring into each other's eyes, silently making up for lost time. “Oh my god Tony Stark if you don’t kiss me right now-” you didn’t even need to finish before his lips were on yours. 
   the kiss was desperate and starved for a deeper feeling. Who knew one person could miss another so much? After this, you speculated you’d be stuck to his side like glue for a couple weeks before he say something stupid to piss you off. 
   Tony’s hands traveled lower and lower until they gripped the back of your thighs, causing a familiar feeling to bloom within you. He pulls away from your mouth and his lips attach to your neck, leaving hot open mouthed kisses. Zero to one hundred real quick. 
   “Tony” you breathed out. You could feel the smirk against the skin of your neck. Horny bastard “Tony seriously” you say, a laugh bubbling in your throat. He pulls away and looks at you ‘I’m trying to seduce you. Why are you interrupting?” 
   you shake your head and hook your arms around his neck “I love you, you idiot”  you say, trying to catch your breath. A ego filling grin decorated his face as he pecked your lips “I love you too. Now let me get back to work” he says and goes back to kissing your neck and his hands worked off your belt.
   yeah- you were in love 
    ☼-☪-☼
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    ☼-☪-☼
   Kody: Eh this kinda sucks. requests are open and my taglist. Anyways, peace
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jeanslongschlong · 3 years
Text
a-z fluff alphabet for connie springer
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requested by @squidonmywall​ !! i hope you enjoy <3
warnings: some swearing
word count: 1871
A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)
Your sense of humor! Connie is a really funny guy, so it means a lot to him that you can match his energy at all times. He doesn’t believe in soulmates, but he’s starting to think that maybe, just maybe…
B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)
Your cheeks! Connie LOVES to pinch them, caress them, kiss them, and so on. He makes it his life mission to make you blush, as seeing the red tint on your cheeks makes pride swell up in him over the fact that he made you have that reaction. He also loves when- jk, we’re keeping this PG here. I’ll expand more on this when I do his NSFW alphabet.
C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)
Under lots of blankets and on top of lots of pillows. But he will cuddle with you anywhere and everywhere; Connie is not shy about PDA with you.
D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)
I get extremely romantic vibes from Connie, so probably some sort of mountain getaway, during which you spend time in a sauna, go skiing, and have a candlelit dinner with the breathtaking view of the snow-tipped mountains in the background. I can assure you he will do everything in his power to make you swoon, and (more likely than not) CRINGE at some of his cheesy attempts at flirting. He may be a romantic, but I never said anything about being smooth. That is a whole other story.
E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)
Connie is pretty open about his emotions with everyone, but even more so with you. You just make him feel so comfortable, he knows that no matter what he’s feeling you won’t judge him; you’ll try your hardest to sympathize and help him work through it. That’s another thing he loves about you, your empathy.
F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)
CONNIE WANTS LIKE FIVE KIDS AND YOU CANNOT CHANGE MY MIND. In any case, he only wants them if you want them of course. He isn’t going to force you into something you don’t want. However, I would say that it could be a deal breaker for him…but it just depends. If you do want to have kids as well, I’d say he wants to start having them around 24/25.
G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)
HE LOVES GIVING GIFTS. I don’t think he has a lot of money so they probably aren’t expensive ones, but expect a bunch of small things randomly. He doesn’t need a holiday to buy you a gift, he just does it whenever he feels like it (which is almost always LMFAO he’s such a sweetie I am in love).
H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)
All the time. Everywhere. Everyday. He holds onto your hand like it’s his fucking LIFELINE. (please I simp for this man so much he is so precious help)
I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)
Simply put, he would cry. Similar to Eren, he would most likely shut down, overwhelmed by the panic and regret that washes over him when someone informs him of your injury. He would be so patient and loving during your recovery period, though. If you were staying in a hospital room he would give you his pudding cups during dinnertime.
J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)
Obviously Connie likes to joke, he’s one of the funniest characters in AOT. However, pranks? Nah. Not alone, at least. Teamed up with Sasha is a whole other story. But I don’t think they’d be anything serious. If he did prank you, it would be like…hiding a whoopie cushion on the couch where you normally sit, not a breakup prank or a cheating prank. He thinks those are too cruel and he would feel wayyyy too bad about it.
K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)
Lowkey…I feel like he gives wet and sloppy kisses. But the type that make you feel warm inside. Kissing him brightens your whole day, they’re so infused with love that you could faint.
L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)
Words, gifts, kisses, random hugs, cuddles, you name it. He makes it VERY KNOWN in every way possible that he loves you. He is not embarrassed about it at all, and he makes sure you don’t forget it.
M = Memory (favorite memory together?)
Your first date. He stuttered so bad and yet you didn’t make fun of him. That’s when he knew that he had it BAD for you. He went home and literally couldn’t sleep he was so overwhelmed with affection for you.
N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)
He’s afraid that his forwardness will eventually scare you away. He’s so open about everything, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you are, so he’s afraid that one day he will overstep his boundaries and drive you away permanently.
O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)
French kissing is a no-no. Even though his kisses are wet and sloppy, I really think that the thought of your tongues in each other’s mouths gross him out. I think the same goes for Levi, too, if I’m being honest.
P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)
Angel, my love, my dearest. THIS BOY IS SO CHEESY BUT IT MELTS YOU
“You’re so pretty, angel. How the hell did I manage to get a girlfriend as heavenly as you?”
(And then you probably made fun of him and you two double over in the type of laughter that makes your stomach cramp. Oh, to be loved by Connie.)
Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)
A lot, quality time is his love language, second to gift giving. If he had it his way, the only time he would be away from you is when he was at work, at school, or going to the bathroom. Otherwise, he wants to be all up in your business. But, he respects your space so he tries to refrain from asking you to hang out every day. Key word: tries.
R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)
“Two” by Sleeping At Last. No explanation needed.
S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)
He tells you everything, even things you think ‘god, why did he tell me that?’ afterwards. SO, he tells you everything. He keeps nothing from you, which makes surprising you SUPER hard for him LMAO. He just wants to tell you as soon as he possibly can.
T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)
Not very long. 3 months at most. This boy can’t wait LOL he has 0 patience. He knew he wanted to make you his even before you had your first date, but he waited to give you time to think about what you wanted. (Although how could you not want him??? FR)
U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)
Super supportive. He will be whatever you need him to be. If you need to scream at him to let out all of your frustration? He’ll let you. If you need him to hold a pillow for you to punch while you’re angry? Consider him your new punching bag. If you need him to just hold you and stroke your hair while you cry? He’ll do it. Anything for you.
V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)
He’s honestly just so happy that you love him. He loves to show you off; he tells anyone who will listen how amazing you are, how beautiful you are, how he’s convinced that if soulmates did exist, you’d be his.
W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)
Like Eren, Connie would lay down his life for you in a heartbeat. He gets a little scared when he thinks about you fighting, but he knows that you’d be fine, so he never really voices that fear.
X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)
Pretty damn well. He’s not dumb, he can tell when you’re actually mad and when you’re just crabby because you haven’t eaten. He’s memorized all of the indicators that point towards how you’re feeling, and he’s always prepared to deal with it.
Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)
SOOOOO ROMANTICALLY PLS IM GONNA SOB THINKING ABOUT IT.
This is the only secret that I feel he would successfully keep from you; he wants to make it as special as possible (which is quite the opposite of Eren LOL). He would take you on a walk near sunset, and would time it so perfectly that you would end up at the place you first met right when the sun starts to set.
The sky is filled with picturesque shades of pinks, yellows, reds, and oranges, and you stop for a moment to gape in astonishment at its beauty. He admires you as you stare at the sky, your hand held to your forehead to shield your eyes from the brunt of the sun’s mighty rays, your eyes filled with such bewilderment that it warms him from the inside out. He takes this moment to kneel down onto one knee, reaching back to fish out the black ring box he had put in his pockets a few hours before.
“Y/N…” he says softly, trying to get your attention. You turn around, expecting him to make fun of you for being so infatuated with the colors of the sky, but instead let out a strangled gasp.
“Holy shit, are you-“
“Yes,” he smiles up at you and reaches out with his left hand to grasp your right. He gives your hand a loving squeeze, sucks in a breath, then continues, “I knew from the moment we met here all of those years ago that I was going to marry you. You know how I knew?” You shake your head no. “The moment our eyes met, I was filled with such a sense of completion that there was no other way to explain it. I’ve told you many times that I don’t believe in soulmates, that I think it’s just a shanty created by the romance genre to create unrealistic expectations when it comes to love. But…I’m now thoroughly convinced that you are mine.”
“Connie, I-“
“Marry me.”
“Yes.”
Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)
Taking a nap with you under a thick blanket. He loves to be held by you, so preferably with him on top of you, your arms wrapped tightly around him and him using your stomach as a pillow. Prime sleeping position for Connie Springer.
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decided to post some of my ideas for a ninjago/atla au besties. tell me whatcha think
under read more cus its kinda long lmao
some background first…
here, the first spinjitzu master is smth that doesn’t actually exist in avatar bc i couldn’t for the life of me figure out what to make him so now he’s like… he’s basically the child of all the original benders: the badgermoles, the sky bison, the dragons, and the moon spirit combined. he was born of their powers, and he was the first avatar, kinda like this au’s version of raava i guess?? so this au’s version of vaatu is the overlord, and like in ninjago, they have this never-ending rivalry. and the overlord is an avatar, too, but more of a dark one. it only cares about corruption and evil.
the first bending master, as he’s called in this au, manages to banish the overlord into the spirit realm, but he knew that one day, it would return. so he creates a land called ninjago and fills it with people of all kinds, each corner of the world having one type of bending. he gave the humans bending, but only one type for each person.
he didn’t want a repeat of the overlord.
so then he has two sons: wu and garmadon. he hemmed and hawed over what elements to give to them, but eventually he chose. wu gets airbending, the element of life and serene and calm. garmadon gets firebending, rough and harsh and the element of destruction. his fire is violet and incredibly hot.
everything goes fine, and the first bending master manages to keep balance of the world as its avatar. except the overlord does indeed return.
garmadon gets corrupted by its spirit and is bitten by the great devourer. he becomes obsessed with power and wanted to be the avatar more than anything in life. he believes that his father was holding his powers back because he didn’t trust him. and he believes that his father was going to hand over his power to wu after he died. and he couldn’t have that.
wu notices his downward spiral and suggests that he take a trip to visit the mortals. maybe that would help him realize that there is reason for their father being the only avatar in the world.
so garmadon goes down into the mortal plane. and meets fire lord chen and his second in command clouse.
fire lord chen is quite interested in an old legend of what is called the serpentine: ancient tribes of snake people said to have been born from the hatred and despair of the overlord, led by the toughest and the greatest, the great devourer. chen wants to bring these serpentine back, and at first garmadon agrees to help him, if only to get revenge on his father.
but he snaps out of it, because he realizes that its the great devourer’s fault in the first place that he’s like this. he betrays chen and clouse and warns wu of their plan, but without telling him whose plan it is. together, the brothers manage to gather together an alliance of the greatest bending masters in the world. garmadon wants their father to help, but wu gives some unfortunate news.
the first bending master is near his deathbed. he is very, very ill, and he is thousands of years old at this point. he wants rest.
so, naturally, garmadon is conflicted about this. he’s ecstatic bc he thinks that he can gain the powers of the avatar once his father passes, but also he’s sad, because, well, thats still his dad after all.
but anyway, the bending alliance manages to defeat the serpentine and seal them away in the spirit realm, like the first bending master had done to the overlord. this… turns out to be a bad idea.
fire lord chen and clouse both manage to shift the blame away from them, and since garmy was the only one who knew they caused the plan, he lets it happen. because he still is a bit evil.
something happens that gives him hope, though: he meets misako, who might be the love of his life. (also in this au that weird love triangle shit don’t happen) they get married, and for a while, garmadon seems perfectly sane. but.
the first bending master dies.
lloyd is born almost right after.
no one makes the connection, though, thankfully, but it is enough for garmadon to lose whatever sanity he had left. he completely goes insane.
he races back to their family monastery believing that he can and will gain the powers of the avatar, somehow, but he doesn’t. and that is too much for him to take. all of this… all of this… waiting… for nothing?
garmadon stares at himself in the mirror. he looks down at his hand, at the bite mark blemishing his skin, and grabs a ceremonial knife. he laughs to himself and places his hand on the mirror, slowly raising his knife towards it… he thinks he can stop all this pain in one easy swoop.
garmadon, sneering at himself: maybe… maybe this will fix it… if i just cut off the damn thing…
first bending master, in the mirror: i would not recommend it, son.
garmadon, face falling: why are you here?
first bending master: i came to speak with you. and to try and help you.
garmadon, snarling: don’t pretend like you care about me! i know what you really think. you think i’m a monster.
first bending master: i think you’re conflicted. the part of you that wants to be the avatar so badly you are willing to kill for it… that part of you clashes with the real you. the one that wants everyone you care about to be safe. your brother, your friends, your wife… your son.
garmadon: *laughs and turns around* why should i care about them, father? they don’t care about me! not my brother, not my wife, not my so-called friends, and certainly not you! the only one who does care about me is my son, and thats only because he doesn’t know any better. he’ll leave one day too.
first bending master, solemnly: you are wrong. i do care about you. i always did. i love you, garmadon. i do.
garmadon shakes, his hand gripping the knife tighter. his mouths trembles, and eventually turns into a scowl. he whirls around to face the mirror and slams his knife into it, shattering it into pieces.
he gets worse from there on. he begins to attack people left and right, villages and cities, even going so far as to consider breaking the serpentine free. he doesn’t get that far, though, because his brother interrupts him.
wu is very concerned, bc, well, garmy was a bit weird but never straight up insane like he is now. so he heads over to his family’s old monastery. there, he finds garmadon, seething and stewing. garmadon doesn’t take his arrival well.
garmadon: ugh! for once, can’t you just leave me alone?!
wu: no, i cannot. this isn’t you, brother! you must snap out of it!
garmadon: this is me! this has been me for my entire life, wu! i can’t change it now, and i can’t even be the avatar. what’s the point?
wu: the point is that father trusted us to take care of ninjago once he passed on. we have a duty.
garmadon: father was a fool, and father was selfish! i am remaking the world in my own image, an image that won’t let anyone have the kind of power that he did, except for those who are worthy!
wu: that’s crazy! you can’t just pick and choose who gets to be the most powerful bender in the world!
garmadon: isn’t that what father did, though, when he died? who is the new avatar, wu?! tell me!!
wu: i don’t know. and neither will you, if you keep this up.
garmadon: *laughs* are you threatening me?
wu: i am.
garmadon: fine. you want to take control of ninjago over me? fine. fine. fine. i challenge you to an agni kai! the battle that was always meant to be.
wu: very well.
garmadon: for the record… i’m sorry it had to end this way, brother.
wu, sadly: no. you aren’t.
cue final agni kai type fight, light vs darkness. fire vs air. obviously, wu wins, and manages to chain garmadon up so he can’t attack anymore. garmadon then has a complete psychotic breakdown like azula, complete with the spitting fire and sobbing hysterically while wu watches sadly.
wu banishes garmadon to the spirit realm, because he doesn’t think there’s anything else he can do.
ninjago is saved.
or so he thinks.
see, chen and clouse are still around. as are the serpentine, biding their time in the spirit realm. they meet garmy and decide that they should work together. garmadon, so torn up by hatred and despair, agrees to help them, if he gets to destroy his brother.
meanwhile, everything is going good.
lloyd is the avatar, obviously, but he’s only like. thirteen when he finds out. he’s an airbender avatar and lived with koko (bc its my au and i get to pick the mom i use) in one of the air temples (idk which one tho). he’s raised believing that he’s just a random kid who happens to serve the avatar, kinda like kyoshi.
that avatar he believes he serves is none other than morro, the adopted son of airbender sage wu. morro is four years older than lloyd, and he was just revealed to be the airbending avatar. morro, of course, is thrilled. but he also gets an incredibly big ego over it, believing that he is better than other people bc he is the avatar. the reason he was thought to be the avatar was because he appeared to waterbend at one point, but it is later revealed to have been simple airbending that pushed the water.
but morro doesn’t realize or know this until its too late. and when he does… its a shitshow.
basically, lloyd and morro are sent to meet with fire lord chen and his daughter skylor, along with wu, koko, and some of the other air sages. skylor is a chi blocker, an incredibly talented one who has mastered all of the different bending fighting styles even tho she herself is a nonbender.
ok so clouse is obviously there. he recognizes lloyd via koko and is fucking pissed. he’s like my ex-boyfriend rival’s son is here?? what the hell?? so he keeps a close on eye on lloyd bc he doesn’t like him. morro, meanwhile, is treated like a king at the palace bc chen wants to get into the avatar’s good graces.
and uh. well, as it turns out, morro isn’t the avatar…
they’re attacked by the serpentine, bitter at the bending masters for having locked them underground. morro is excellent at fighting, but lloyd has more adrenaline.
and lloyd firebends.
cue shock and horror and anger from all sides.
wu is the most horrified of all. the son of his brother… the man he banished… is the avatar?
so yeah thats the background AT LEAST. i dont really know what happens after that but lloyd runs away or something. i will write more i promise!!!
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spine-buster · 3 years
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The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Chapter 32
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A/N: Another ‘friend’ of ours makes an appearance in this chapter (unfortunately for me lmao)
August 2nd, 2020
Aberdeen Bloom was as prepared as she could be for Game 1 against the Columbus Blue Jackets.  
Scotiabank Arena was freezing – more freezing than normal – because of the three-games-a-day and all the hockey being played.  She knew the players and team personnel would complain if the ice was crap (apparently they could tell, though it beat the shit out of her how they could tell), and of course Scotiabank Arena, and the Leafs in general, wanted to make an excellent impression.  They were the centre of the hockey world, so Aberdeen knew they could pull it off.  It just didn’t help that it was August and it felt like early November indoors.
She joined Brendan and Kyle in their usual box – luckily they didn’t have to give that up.  The team was taking their pre-game skate below and Aberdeen watched as William shot pucks towards Freddie in the net, sneaking one past him before skating around their perimeter of the rink a few times.  On the other side of the ice, the Columbus Blue Jackets were doing the exact same thing, though she barely knew or recognized a soul on the team.  One of them could walk by her in the arena and she wouldn’t know better.  
“How do you think it’s gonna go?” Brendan asked from six feet away from her, his black mask covering his face.
Aberdeen shrugged her shoulders.  “You should stop asking me these questions, Brendan.  I know nothing about hockey.”
“That may be,” he said, not letting up, “but you know the boys, on a level far superior than your knowledge of hockey.  So what do you say?”
Aberdeen thought about it.  She knew them on a personal level, but that didn’t matter at all – at least she didn’t think it mattered – when it came to a playoff game.  She knew how much pressure the guys were under.  She also knew that they were still adjusting to the bubble life and how weird everything was.  Make no mistake – they were being taken care of exceptionally well by the staff at the Royal York Hotel, and Aberdeen made sure she said a loud thank you to every worker she came across and interacted with.  She heard every single one of the guys do the exact same thing.  But she didn’t know how that would translate into a hockey game.  They were two different things.  They were to different entities that she had no idea how to join together.  
“I don’t know,” she shrugged, her voice soft.  “When you ask me these questions, I feel like you want me to be Nostradamus or something.  What if I said they were going to lose 2-0?”
“I’d believe you,” Brendan shrugged.
***
The Leafs lost 2-0.
“C’mon Nostradamus,” Brendan said as he packed up his clipboard and tucked it under his arm.  “The social media posts can wait.  You need to go mediate the post-game interviews and press calls.”
Aberdeen packed up her iPad after she rolled her eyes.  She shouldn’t have said anything.  She should have responded ‘They’re going to win 5-0!’ the first time he ever asked her that question and kept that answer throughout the entire season.  She followed six feet behind Kyle, who was in turn six feet behind Brendan, as they made their way to the locker room.  By the time they got there, Sheldon was nearing the end of his post-game speech.  Most of the guys were half undressed – at least at the top – and a few of them were shoving off their elbow pads and chucking their tape from their socks into the bins.  They all looked irritated.  
She made her way into the media room and set up the Zoom call where a bunch of reporters joined.  Morgan and Auston walked into the room, and she quickly typed in the chat which players were there so they could organize their questions accordingly.  Morgan and Auston sat down in their chairs.  
“Is Steve on the call?” Auston asked suddenly while Aberdeen was adjusting the camera.
“Uh, yeah.  Why?” she asked.
Auston pursed his lips together and shrugged it off.  
The interviews were going fine.  She hated hearing the sound of her own voice on recordings but she knew she’d have to suck it up for the sake of the media call.  She called on each reporter by name.  The boys answered their questions.  It was all very routine.  
“Steve Simmons from the Toronto Sun,” Aberdeen called out.  She waited, and while waiting, she saw Morgan’s and Auston’s demeanour completely change.  
“Uhhh, Steve Simmons, Toronto Sun for Auston – it’s one thing to hear about how tight they play, and to even watch the films of how tight they play.  What was it like to experience it?”
Auston took the lead.  “Uh, well I mean first of all, it’s unfortunate that I’mn getting a question from you at this point, Steve, but I just wanted to say I didn’t really appreciate the article you wrote about me a couple months ago.  I thought, uh, it was very unethical to be honest, but…uh, moving along…”
Aberdeen didn’t hear the rest of his answer.  Truthfully, she didn’t care.  All she could feel was a burning sensation shooting up her spine at Auston’s words.  He did it.  He called out Steve Simmons, the most annoying reporter known to mankind.  
She smirked.
***
After the media interviews, Aberdeen found a quiet space and took out her iPad again to post the final score graphic to the team’s Instagram page.  As she finished typing the caption – ‘Battled hard.  Back at it on Tuesday.’ – she heard some fairly loud footsteps behind her before they stopped.  “A girl?” a voice from behind her said.
She didn’t recognize it – and it wasn’t like anybody from the team would refer to her as “a girl” – so she furrowed her brows and turned around.  She saw what had to be a member of the Columbus Blue Jackets staring at her.  She couldn’t see it, but she automatically knew from the way he was standing and the energy he gave off that he was smirking smugly underneath his mask.  “Yeah, we exist,” she shot him a look, not ready to take any bullshit from him or anybody else.  The way these men thought she was a complete novelty astounded her.  “Have you never seen one of us before?”
“So Barzy was right,” the man continued.  “The Leafs have a girl in their bubble.  Incredible.”
Aberdeen could tell by the way he said and emphasized girl that this conversation – if you could call it that – was gonna be a doozy.  The guy was huge but didn’t look any older than she was, so she knew she would be able to put him in his place.  “What are you even doing in this hallway?  You’re not supposed to be on this side,” she said sternly.  “I suggest you leave and go back to your area of the arena unless you want me to complain to the NHL that your breaching protocol.”
From the very end of the hallway, another figure walked by, stopping at the gap when he apparently found who he was looking for.  Aberdeen could at least recognize him – John Tortorella, the head coach of the Columbus Blue Jackets.  “Pierre, what the fuck are you doing there?  Come on, we gotta go.”
The man, named Pierre, gave Aberdeen a smoldering look.  She rolled her eyes.  “Must have taken a wrong turn,” he said, loud enough so John would hear.
Dead set on not taking any bullshit, and just really, really wanting to put this guy in his place, Aberdeen didn’t let up.  “Perhaps you should remind Pierre of how to speak to the staff of another NHL team,” she said sternly.  Both men were too far away to notice how red she was getting, but she could see Pierre whip his head to look at her and his eyes go wide in shock.  “And perhaps he should read another copy of the social distancing and bubble protocols tonight in his bedroom so he doesn’t make this unfortunate decision again,” she said, deliberately using ‘decision’ instead of ‘mistake’, because she fucking knew this was no mistake.  She wondered what other rumours were swirling in the Royal York about a girl being in the Leafs bubble.  
Pierre scurried to the end of the hallway.  From her spot, she could hear John chuckle.  “You must be the Aberdeen Bloom I’ve only ever heard good things about,” he said.  “Keep it up.  I might ask you to take my place to keep the boys in line.”
She couldn’t help but smile.  Pierre took one last look between his coach and ‘the girl’.  “I could take ‘em,” Aberdeen commented, getting a nod from John before he and Pierre disappeared.  
She let out a breath.  
***
After the team got back to the hotel, picked up their pre-packaged dinner, and settled into their rooms, Aberdeen showered and changed.  She sat at the desk where she put the meal and took out her phone.  She sent some quick texts to her parents, Siena, and Camden before bringing up William’s name.
U up?
lmao minskatt isnt that what i should be saying to u *wink emoji*
Do you want to eat dinner together?
of course
I’m ready whenever you are babe
She waited for him to start the call.  Not even two minutes later, her phone began to ring and “Head Empty” flashed across the screen.  She accepted the FaceTime call almost immediately.  When it connected and he appeared on her screen, walking in his hotel room with his bathrobe on and his hair wet and tied back, she smiled.  “Hi.”
“Hi minskatt,” he said, his voice low.  She watched as he put a pair of headphones on.  “That’s better.”
Hers were already in.  “I’m sorry about the game tonight,” she said, perching her phone on a high point on the desk.  “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.
He shrugged.  “Not really.  At least, not right now,” he said, putting his phone down too.  “Maybe later.  Like, after we have dinner.”
“Promise me we will.”
“I promise,” he said, looking into the phone.  He knew she would want him to talk about it, and he made her a promise all those months ago.  He would never break it.  “Right now I just want to have dinner over FaceTime with my girlfriend even though we’re less than fifty feet away from each other.”
Aberdeen chuckled, if only because she agreed wholeheartedly that this whole thing was ridiculous.  The tone of William’s voice made her know that he thought it completely ridiculous too.  “It’s hard.  I know.  At least we get free food,” she held up a forkful of the marinated chicken breast.  “And good food.  It’s not like it’s airplane food.”
William smiled slightly.  “First thing I do when we get out of here is bring you to Canoe or Ardo or Miku and splurge on every meal they have on the menu,” he said.  
“Sounds good to me.  Maybe by then I’ll have a new job to celebrate, anyway.”
“How’s the article coming along?” he asked.
“Fine,” she said.  She’s started in the other day and already had about 1500 words worth of material.  She figured the best way to go about it was keep a sort of diary every day and then edit it down when she could.  “Might talk about how fucking awkward you hockey boys are these days with women.”
“I’m excluded from that, right?” he asked.  “I mean, I totally swept you off your feet when we first met.”
She couldn’t help but smile.  “You did.”
***
August 3rd, 2020
Aberdeen accompanied the team to one of the workout facilities just so she could catch a glimpse of sone sunshine on the day off.  Instead of working out, she sat on the sidelines of where all the equipment was and the boys worked out, furiously typing away on her personal laptop.  Every so often when she’d glance up, she’d see Morgan’s thighs almost ripping through his shorts as he did some lunges; she’d see Auston’s biceps almost bursting through his sleeves as he lifted weights above his head; she’d see William’s thick torso exposed as his shirt rode up from him throwing a heavy medicine ball above his head.  
A million girls in this city would kill her to be in her position.
And here she was, writing 10,000 words about them instead of ogling them.  Well, everyone except her secret boyfriend.
***
August 4th, 2020
Game 2.  
Aberdeen was confident that the boys would respond to Columbus’s win in Game 1.  She could tell in their energy throughout the day and in the arena they were ready and they were ready to win.  
“Hey Nostradamus,” Brendan called out, winking.  Aberdeen saw Kyle chuckle from behind his mask.  “What’s the score gonna be?”
“Oh shut it,” she shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest and smirking to herself.  Except she couldn’t hold her tongue.  “3-0, but this time for us.”
“I believe her!” Kyle piped up.  
Brendan snorted.  “Who’s placing bets?!”
The bell rang and everybody settled down to stand for the anthem.  As the game got underway, Aberdeen could feel rushes of electricity move up her spine every time the Leafs touched the puck.  They were playing phenomenally.  They looked focused, into it, and like a complete team.  It was a night and day difference from Game 1.  Though the first period didn’t have any goals, Aberdeen knew they’d be coming – for the Leafs only.
In the second period Auston scored and Aberdeen jumped out of her seat to celebrate.  And when John scored late in the third period to get a two goal lead, she was even happier.  
Then, with less than two minutes left, disaster hit.  
It was a play behind the net.  Pierre Luc Dubois – the guy from the other day, Aberdeen had learned – basically cross-checked Jake Muzzin, and Jake fell awkwardly, trying to break it, with his head hitting a Blue Jackets player’s leg.  He fell to the ice.  
He wasn’t getting up.  And the referee hadn’t blown the whistle.  
Those fuckers.
“BLOW THE FUCKING WHISTLE!!!” Aberdeen screamed at the top of her lungs, startling Brendan and Kyle.  Her face was turning red.  She was sure she’d been so loud the referee actually heard her, because he finally blew it.  Jake was having a hard time getting up, and then he lay back down.  One of the trainers immediately made his way onto the ice, rushing towards Jake.
The replays began to play from every angle, and Aberdeen watched on the TV screen in the box how his head and neck contorted once he hit the player’s thigh.  She had tears in her eyes as she watched the worst angles.  She looked back out onto the ice to see Jake still lying there.  The trainer was still with him, though more were making their way onto the ice now.  Then, she saw one of the trainers put his hands near Jake’s neck.  They called for a stretcher.  
She bolted out of her seat.
“Aberdeen!” she could hear Brendan call out after her, but she didn’t listen.  She didn’t turn around.  She hurried down to ice level, her mind running a mile a minute, and flashed her credentials to anyone and everyone she needed to, not bothering to stop so they could actually see them.  
By the time she got to ice level, she could hear the distant sound of sticks tapping, letting her know he was being stretched off.  She met all the trainers and the stretcher at the entrance.  “Jake?!” she asked frantically.  
“Aberdeen?” he asked.  
“Are you okay?  Did you break your neck?!”
“I didn’t break my neck.  I can feel my arms and legs,” he said.  Aberdeen let out the breath she didn’t know she was holding in.  “Did it look scary?”
“Is that a joke?” she asked.  “I ran down here the second they called for the stretcher.”
“We’re going to take him to the hospital.  He’s going to have to leave the bubble,” the head trainer informed Aberdeen.  “You need to tell Brendan and Kyle.  Then update us on the protocol of what it will take to get him back into the hotel.”
Before she could acknowledge what was just said, Jake spoke up again.  “Aberdeen?”
“Yeah Jake?”
“You need to call Courtney for me.  Tell her I’m okay,” he said.  “She’s probably worried sick.”
Aberdeen’s heart sunk into her stomach.  Courtney.  “Yeah yeah, of course—”
“—You have her number, right—”
“—We really need to get him to the hospital—”
“—Yeah, I have her number—”
“—Call Courtney, please,” were Jake’s last words before he was stretchered off.
Aberdeen watched until they were out of her line of sight.  For a few moments, the images of what just happened flashed through her mind, and she momentarily forgot about everything.  She felt sick to her stomach.  Jake said he felt okay, but she knew hockey players always just said that.  Morgan had been playing injured for the better part of the year until he actually got injured.  High sticks to the face, lost teeth, blood drawn – these guys just put a bandaid on it and said they were fine.  But this was different.  
When Courtney’s face crossed her mind, she jolted back to life and grabbed her phone out of her pocket, scrolling until she found Courtney’s number.  The phone didn’t even have to ring twice.  “Aberdeen?!” she asked frantically.  “How’s Jake?”
“Hey Court—he’s okay—”
“He’s okay?!”
“Well, they’re bringing him to the hospital right now,” she said.  “But I was able to talk to him because I rushed down to ice level and he told me he was fine and to call you.”
“So you—you were able to talk to him,” Courtney said, her voice much calmer than just moments before.  “You saw him?”
“Yes.  He told me he could move his arms and legs,” Aberdeen informed her.
“Okay.  Okay.  Does that mean he has to leave the bubble though?  I mean can I go visit him?”
Aberdeen cringed.  “I don’t think so,” she said.  As she did, she could hear Luna being fussy in the background and Courtney trying to calm her.  “The NHL has an agreement with Toronto General about potential injuries.  If everything is okay and he comes back into the bubble, all he has to do is pass three negative tests,” she explained, listening to Luna get even fussier.  
“Okay.  Alright.  But they’ll call me, right?”
“Absolutely.  I’m sure Jake will even be able to call you from the hospital.  Our trainers all have their phones on them.”
“Thanks Aberdeen,” Courtney said, and Aberdeen could hear the relief in her voice.  She knew all Courtney wanted was to hear from her husband.  Luna let out a loud cry.  “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Bye Court,” Aberdeen ended the call.  
Families.  So many of them had families.  So many of them had families that were suffering and making do with a prolonged absence and Aberdeen couldn’t take it.  The players were sacrificing so much to be in the bubble.  And their families were sacrificing so much letting them go into the bubble.  She knew most of them had money – to cope, to do whatever, really – but that didn’t compensate for presence.  That didn’t compensate for having daddy around to play and snuggle with.  
She began to cry as she found herself walking towards the locker room, not even knowing whether or not the game had ended.  She didn’t really care at this point.  All she could think about was Courtney and Luna at home, worrying about Jake as he was being taken to the hospital.  To Aberdeen, nothing else mattered right now.  
She heard some commotion from the locker room and she knew the boys were back in.  She didn’t know how long they’d been back for, and didn’t bother to peek in to see.  She didn’t want to when her eyes were still red and welling up with tears.  Instead, she hid herself around a corner, crouching down with her knees against her chest, wiping at her eyes every so often and trying to control her emotions before having to go in, or getting called by Brendan, or by Kyle, or—
“There you are.”
Well, so much for that.
She looked up from her crouched position and saw Jason looking down at her.  He wasn’t completely undressed – he had all his UnderArmour on – but he was still sweaty from the game and his hair was matted against his head.  She wiped her eyes one last time before getting up.  “Hi.”
“Did you see Jake?”
She nodded.  “He’s okay.  He can feel and move his arms and legs or whatever.”
“Why are you crying?”
She knew he wasn’t asking to be insolent, but did she really have to have to spell it out for him?  “Don’t tell me you’re immune to this shit,” she said.  “I just had to call Courtney and explain to her that her husband didn’t break his neck and end his God damn career.  Luna was crying in the background.  It’s a lot, okay?”
Jason nodded his head.  “I know it is.  I’m not trying to…fuck, I know that came out wrong.  He’s gonna be okay, Aberdeen.”
“Thanks.”
“Come on, Aberdeen,” he said soothingly.  “It’s gonna be okay.”
She shook her head, wiping away the last of her tears.  “I know.  I’m just being a big baby.”
“No you’re not,” Jason said.  “You’re not being a big baby.  You’re being a human being.  Someone you cared about got hurt.  Do you want to talk about it when you get back to the hotel?” he asked.
She considered it for only half a second before she shook her head.  “No.  I know you call your girls every night.  I can’t take time away from them.”
“Aberdeen—”
“I’ll be okay,” she asserted.  “I promise.  I’ll be okay.”
“Aberdeen!” Kyle’s voice suddenly called out.  He rushed towards her with his phone in his hand.  “They took him to the hospital, right?”
“Yeah,” she nodded her head, trying to steady her voice and make it seem as professional as possible.  “He’s technically left the bubble, so we have to update the trainers on protocol to get him back into the hotel and how—”
“I’ll handle that with Brendan and Josh,” he interrupted.  “But he was okay?”
“He could feel his arms and legs.  That’s what he told me.  Then he asked me to call Courtney and I did that.”
Kyle nodded his head, looking – really looking – at Aberdeen for the first time in their conversation.  “Were you crying?”
“I’m going to be fine,” was all she said.  
***
“I’m going to come to your room,” William said through the phone in a strained voice.
“Don’t you dare,” Aberdeen chastised him, a new batch of tears having fallen down her face as she lay in bed.  “Don’t you even think about leaving your room, William.”
“Aberdeen, you need me and I need to be with you right now—”
“And you need to stay in your room so you don’t get kicked out of the bubble,” she said sternly.  “I’m being serious, Will.  Don’t come over.”
She watched as he bit his lip and shook his head.  She could see all over his face how conflicted he was.  It was one of the things she loved most about him – to the world, he seemed cool and unemotional and that he didn’t really care about anything or take anything too seriously, but to her, he was the entire range of emotions in one conversation.  He had a heart full of gold and she knew it would always stay that way.  “This is killing me, minskatt,” he whispered, his voice defeated.  “I want to be there for you when you need me.  Always.  I mean…you need me, right?”
Her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach.  She didn’t know where this was coming from, but like some things with William, she felt like it was something that had been on his mind for a while and was only letting out now.  He was still learning to talk to her about his feelings.  He was keeping his promise from February, so she could appreciate that.  “Of course I need you,” she said softly.  “I’ll always need you like you need me.  We’re in this together.  You know that.  But you need to be on this team right now.  You need to help them fight.  This isn’t about me.  It’s about the team.”
“It’s always about you,” William said.  “You still don’t get it, do you?  It’s always about you.”
“Don’t make it about me right now, Willy.  It’s not about me.  It’s about Jake, and the team,” she paused for dramatic effect.  “Make it about me later,” she added, trying to be humourous.
It garnered a small smile from him, and she felt proud of herself.  “I love you, minskatt.”
“I love you too Willy.  Promise me you’ll get some sleep?”
He nodded slightly.  “I promise.”
***
Aberdeen’s iPhone was still in her hands as she woke again from its vibrations.  She jumped at the sensation of being awoken in the middle of the night.  If it was Willy calling her at three in the morning, she was gonna kill him.  
“Hello?” her voice was groggy.
The voice on the other end was not William’s.  “I lived, bitch.”  
***
August 6th, 2020
It wouldn’t be a Toronto Maple Leafs series without some drama, apparently.  And the drama tonight was how the team blew a 3-0 lead, allowing the Columbus Blue Jackets to win 4-3 in overtime, with Pierre-Luc Dubois scoring a hattrick.  That meant the Columbus Blue Jackets were now up 2-1 in the series.
It meant the Leafs could go home tomorrow.
Aberdeen tried not to think about it.  
She didn’t bring it up with anybody as they went back to the hotel, and she knew, judging by the looks on their faces, that they didn’t want to hear about it either.  Nobody would be turning on their TVs tonight, and she doubted they would check the news on their phones, either.  Maybe they’d play video games to take their minds off of it.  Or maybe they’d go right to bed and rest, since they had to do all of this again in less than 24 hours.  Fuck.
Aberdeen took a shower.  She washed her face.  She did her skincare.  She put on a sheetmask.  
Her phone rang.
She knew it was William, so she tucked herself into bed and accepted the FaceTime call.  When he realized that she had a sheetmask on, a smile broke out on his face from ear to ear.  “Nice sheetmask,” he said, biting his bottom lip.
She smiled cheekily and shrugged her shoulders.  “You’re used to it by now.  Shouldn’t come as much of a surprise,” she said.
“I am used to it by now and—oh shit, hold on, I forgot something…” he said, trailing off as he set his phone down so Aberdeen could only see the ceiling in his room.  Knowing William, he probably forgot to turn the light off in the bathroom or something.  But the longer he took, the more Aberdeen became skeptical of his whereabouts.  She barely heard anything on the other end.  “There we are…” she heard his voice.  And then she saw what he had on his face: a sheetmask.  He was still smiling from ear to ear.  “Now where were we?” he asked.
“William!” Aberdeen squealed, letting out giggles she couldn’t hold in at the sight of him.  He looked ridiculous.  It was clearly the first time he’d ever put one on himself.  “What in God’s name are you doing?”
“You love these things!” he tried to justify himself.  “I brought one because I knew I’d catch you at least once in here with one of these things on.  And if we can’t do it together…well, physically, then we can do them together in separate rooms.  Like everything else we need to do.”
Her cheeks flushed red – not that he could see.  He bought sheetmasks and put them on with her.  He gave her time to write.  He encouraged her writing.  He listened to her.  He cared for her.  He was even better than anything she could have imagined in a dream boyfriend.  How did she get so lucky?  How did she let guys treat her like shit before him?  She felt tears well in her eyes.  He was going all out to make the best of the bubble, and she couldn’t be more thankful.  “I love you so much, Willy.”
“I love you too, minskatt.”
“No…I love you Willy.  Like love you love you.  Love you love you love you.  I don’t even have the words…and I’m a writer!  You make me speechless, Willy.  There aren’t enough words in the English or Swedish languages that I can string together that will, like, tell you or show you how much I love you.”
“I get it, minskatt.  Don’t worry.  I feel the same way.”
“I don’t know how I got so lucky with you.”
“I annoyed you enough until I wore you down,” he quipped.
She giggled.  “You seduced me is what I’d call it.”
“I don’t know about that.  If I remember correctly it was you rubbing yourself against my thigh that morning.”
She made a face at him.  He made the exact same face back but crinkled his sheetmask so he had to flatten it with his free hand.  She watched him with complete adulation.  “Willy?”
“Minskatt?”
“Can we listen to our song together?”
William smiled.  He fiddled around with his phone and his ‘Minskatt’ playlist until the familiar chords started playing over the phone, filling the air with the nicest, best, most beautiful sound Aberdeen had ever heard – save for Willy’s laugh, maybe – because she knew this song was about her, about them, and it was still their little secret.
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