#Not that it’s a bad thing to like Tom hanks lmao

[feydfuckernation]

after seeing ash’s response to this post i want to talk for a second about the subject of elvis and impersonation vs portrayal.

elvis impersonators have been around almost as long as elvis himself, with the first impersonator being a man by the name of carl “cheesie” nelson from texarkana who, in 1954 who performed his own renditions of “that’s alright, mama” and “blue moon of kentucky,” and even got to perform onstage alongside elvis that same year. since then, elvis impersonators have been a staple of american pop culture—with a notable presence in las vegas specifically—but it’s not exclusive to america. simply put, ash is right; elvis is one of, if not THE most impersonated pop culture icon in american—and rock n’ roll—history.

there are a few notable portrayals of elvis onscreen: elvis (1979) directed by john carpenter (often touted as the best portrayal of elvis), elvis and nixon (2016), more of a comedy film above all else but still one of the more notable portrayals of elvis in recent years, bubba ho-tep (2002) starring bruce campbell as elvis, the elvis miniseries from 2005 starring jonathan rhys meyers (who bears an uncanny resemblance to elvis) and of course the most recent film starring austin butler, just to name a few. this is not a comprehensive list by any means, but are (to me) the most notable attempts at bringing elvis to the small and silver screen respectively. i can’t speak to every portrayal of elvis ever that exists in media (and i haven’t seen elvis and nixon in a very long time) but i can speak to austin butler, kurt russell and jonathan rhys meyer’s portrayals in particular when it comes to just the performance aspect of elvis, which is where immitation vs portrayal really comes into play for me.

JONATHAN RHYS MEYERS

by all accounts and purposes, jonathan rhys meyers was practically tailor made to play elvis presley

i mean honestly.

unfortunately i made the mistake of watching the miniseries after i had already seen austin butler’s performance and it was. not good lmao. i think for the time it was quite good, but it very much comes across as someone trying to imitate elvis versus actually inhabiting him as a person and making him come alive (also as an aside i know we tend to clown on tom hanks for his portrayal of the colonel because of how he sounds but at least he’s not boring lmao. if randy quaid’s version is more accurate then this is really gonna bite me in the ass but my god no one can ever accuse tom hanks of being boring in elvis 2022), particularly when he’s dancing. there was such a fluidity to the way elvis moved and it comes off very disjointed by comparison.

KURT RUSSELL

i want to preface this with the fact that i haven’t seen all of john carpenter’s elvis film, but what i have seen is significantly better than elvis the miniseries, and at a time when kurt russell wasn’t particularly well known. for a lot of people this is their favourite portrayal of elvis onscreen, and i can certainly see why. while kurt russell doesn’t look as much like elvis as jonathan rhys meyers does, he also doesn’t come across like another cheap imitator, but he also doesn’t fully inhabit elvis the way austin does (to me) and it does break my immersion a little bit. there are times where his portrayal feels a little overexaggerated, but again, not quite as bad as jonathan rhys meyer’s portrayal (which isn’t wholly his fault. bad direction is 100% a thing and i happen to like jonathan rhys meyers as an actor. i think for a number of reasons things just weren’t clicking very well, and that’s not entirely his fault).

AUSTIN BUTLER

the moment i’ve all been waiting for

much like kurt russell (and even michael shannon in elvis and nixon) austin butler is not someone who wholly resembles elvis compared to jonathan rhys meyers. what he DOES do, however, is make up for it with literally everything else. i’m not going to say that an actor doing their own singing is the sole marker for whether or not their portrayal has any real merit, but it DOES make it more impressive when compared to other actors who didn’t or weren’t able to, and that’s not their fault! there are certain artists that are very iconic and not easily imitated (see: freddy mercury). even austin butler didn’t do all his own singing in elvis once they started to transition into the later years where elvis’ own voice was a lot stronger and a lot richer and a lot harder to imitate than it was in his earlier years. but it’s not just about whether or not austin butler could do his own singing. it’s about the fact that, of the three most recent musical biopics—bohemian rhapsody, rocketman and elvis—at the end of the day, elvis is a much more complicated figure to portray in lieu of how regularly impersonated and oversimplified he is by comparison. to portray elvis with any degree of honesty is very, very complicated. elvis (2022) in general was uniquely poised to fail; a highly complicated subject paired with a relatively unknown actor (when compared to someone like rami malek or taron egerton) all riding on an 85 million dollar budget? the fact that this movie DIDN’T crash and burn is a miracle. even people who didn’t particularly like elvis (2022) generally have something good to say about austin butler’s portrayal of elvis, which isn’t usual for a film that can be as polarizing as this one (largely due to the fact that baz lurhman is somewhat of a controversial filmmaker due to his very maximalist style), and i think a lot of that is because austin found a way in as an actor to dismantle the almost godlike mythology surrounding elvis and relate to him as a person (austin’s mother also died when he was around the same age as elvis) in addition to all the hard work he put into studying the man for the better part of two years. there is an earnestness and an authenticity to his performance that is so captivating and it makes you root from him in a way that is so counterintuitive considering elvis died when he was only 42 years old.

essentially what i’m trying to say is that, at the end of the day, elvis (2022) should not have worked, and i’m not going to say the only reason it did is because of austin butler, but austin butler IS part of why this film DID work, and, like ash said, it made me care about who elvis was as a person. a figure that, for my entire life, was relegated to That Dude From Lilo And Stitch and a secondary figure that i just assumed my dad really liked growing up with a few songs i liked, and not much else. this movie doesn’t get everything right, in part because it doesn’t cover absolutely everything in elvis’ life and in part because musical biopics are just kind of like that (and, to be fair, i can excuse this one a little bit given how subjective it is when you consider the fact that this film is almost exclusively from the colonel’s point of view), but it made me care. i care about who elvis was and what he did and what he went through. it made me want to learn more about who he was and at times it broke my heart even more than the film already did. what austin did, over two years of very, VERY hard work, was not just an imitation of elvis. it was a portrayal. it was real. it was genuine. it felt lived in. there was an authenticity to what he did that simply isn’t there for any other portrayal i’ve seen thus far. he deserves every single accolade he gets and i hope the presley estate can finally rest knowing someone did their loved one justice.

(credit to @troubleinapinksuit​ for sharing your thoughts 💕 i agree with every word you said)

#lion.txt #meta tag ig #??????? idk what else to tag it as other than meta lmao #austin butler #elvis 2022 #elvis presley #didn't proofread this because it's 2am so if you see me barely holding onto my thesis or answering any questions...mind ur business #fsldkjfds #anyway i'm tired i'm going to bed #feel free to hmu abt this or smthn idk #troubleinapinksuit #ty again ash for sharing ur thoughts #ilu

[wellthatwasaletdown]

ONTD comments:

people told him he was great at chewing bread for 10 seconds in dunkirk and he believed it

I thought this and don't worry darling were the same movie

i will never forget TIFF doing a special Tribute Actors Award for the WHOLE cast of this movie. they were really working hard to award harry somehow cus they knew they couldn’t stunt award him alone with the performances he’s delivering

Kind of interesting they have an actual queer actor playing the straight wife, but a queer-baiting straight actor playing the queer husband.

Too bad tom hanks wasn't there to tell him he has dead eyes

i feel like however is casting these movies are secretly setting up his spoiled mayonnaise ass for failure and i am loving it.

the scene where he slams his fist on the table like…I’ve seen SNL cast members who grew up in the Midwest do better English accents than this guy who is actually English

How many movies is this mother fucker in? Two too many.

my favorite thing about harry's acting is that it feels like acting

The last one lmao

[metalheadcowboy]

Billy and Steve watching Big with their teenage kid thus outing Billy’s Tom Hanks crush he’d somehow kept secret for years and both of them tease him about it for months.

#Not that it’s a bad thing to like Tom hanks lmao #just he’d never talked about it and it takes them both by surprise #Steve Harrington #Billy Hargrove #Harringrove #Stranger Things #Billy having a crush on Tom Hanks rights

[quackcito]

Summary of the Fornite Spanish Stream [02/14/22]

It was a pretty funny stream with lots of anecdotes. sadly I couldn't find a twitter thread that did the full translation, so I'll try to give more details. They decided to make a dynamic about asking questions to learn more about each other, so there were interesting details

Elementary School Stories

He told Pauline's story[Link] again as a failed date when it wasn't even a date at all. LMAO

He talked about how his craziest party was a kermesse he had in middle school because there was a DJ playing David Guetta songs.

But later he mentioned about how in Mexico he went out to clubs with his friends but didn't know the songs, so one of his friends made him a playlist with the songs that are normally played, there he found out about Bad Bunny.

When he was asked about his biggest fight he mentioned that in elementary school he had a friend who pushed him during recess, he fell on the lunch of a group of girls, so he got up upset, they both held each other's shoulders while staring at each other, then quackity opted to headbutt him which made his friend cry. He was proud that it didn't hurt to do his headbutt however during class his friend kept threatening him with signs and a pen.

His friend wanted to fight with him outside the school next to the moms and other children who were outside, quackity mentioned that he had friends in common who kept saying not to fight. Then quackity as he was ashamed to fight outside (with the moms) explained to him that it would be better to fight in a nearby square but before that, he pulled a trick in which he told him that he didn't want to fight with one of his best friends, but if he wanted to come in and fight he would gladly do it, his friend began to cry for his touching words to end it with a hug. [I laughed so hard, what a touching story! xD]

Fun facts about Quackity

Some of the curious answers that he mentioned:

Quackity told about how he finds songs, first he listens to one song then starts listening to another, until he gets to what he calls '4 songs' , so he doesn't pay much attention to album titles.

In one of the questions Juan asked him about what differentiated him from other creators, he mentioned his creativity.

He talked about how he has a personal project of 'collecting' bald people, on his list is:

Pitbull

Bryan Cranston

The Rock

Komander

Vin Diesel

Hank

El Babo

JuanGuarnizo

Quackity could finally feel happy to find someone shorter than him, he is 172 cm (5'8) while Juan is 169 cm (5'7) approx.

When he feels stressed he sings corridos.

His favorite beers are 'Corona' and 'Millers' and in the case of tequila he likes '1800'.

He hasn't even had his first kiss yet.

He wakes up at 9 or 10, depending on how he feels, sometimes it's AM or PM, but now it's AM.

Quackity responded that he would like to go on a date with ''the bald guy from breaking bad''.

His favorite movies are 'Goodfellas' and Fast and Furious Brazil although he has not seen the latter one. [Yes, he likes a movie he hasn't seen yet, only he is capable of such a feat.]

About his new partnership with Juan

During the previous stream of the [MC] building competition and this stream, their interaction improved and brought a lot of fun things.

At the beginning after Juan died they began to pray and dedicate prayers to each other.

Juan's nicknames for quackity were quackitys, quackyris, quacketas, my love, mamacita and at some point he was 'nalgón'(big bum?).

Quackity imitated Tom Holland's voice[Timestamp(1:23:16)] for Juan, as that was his answer to the question about who they would like to date.

At a very crazy point they decided that they would be partners to buy a hamburger restaurant to sell their own hamburgers, Juan proposed the idea that the Quackity hamburger should have snot* on it.

*I think he implied the idea that he is 'meco' whose closest translation would be: brat? goofy? annoying ipadkid? idk but they were just kidding. [Side note: The restaurant they're talking about is called Butcher's.]

As you can see it was a varied stream full of a lot of fun, it has become one of my favorite streams. At one point I don't remember very well... George sent him a message in which I think he mentioned that he knew Spanish, which Quackity denied, because according to him, he is the one teaching him Spanish [qnf crumbs] EDIT: He also mentioned the possibility of doing a roblox stream with Juan.

Other summaries made by me: Mario Kart + DSMP[01/31/22] [MC]SquidGames[01/30/22]

#quackity #alex quackity #spanish stream #quackityhq

[lonelyghosts-stuff]

Marvel’s What If Episode 5 Reaction

Oh boy I heard this is the zombie one. Cmon Gianna you can do this. You’ve seen every single episode of The Simpsons including the Treehouse of Horror episodes which are pretty gory for an animated show. Man I’m pathetic

Man I just wanna Loki episode 😭

I know it seems pathetic how nervous I am, but ever since I was a kid I’ve had a bad fear of zombies affecting even my sleep paralysis

Whenever the Watcher says “Time.” at the beginning of the intro, I keep thinking it’s Morgan Freeman lol

I wonder how the zombie apocalypse starts

Ah crap it’s Infinity War related

I wonder if Bruce would be immune to the zombie infection cuz of the Hulk

Honestly? Mark Ruffalo is one of the best voice actors from the original cast I’ve seen

We haven’t seen Tony’s face yet or any of their faces yet… uhhhh

Ah damn

CAPEY TO THE RESCUE

Oh poor wong

Damn they still have their powers as zombies

Locusts?

Well they were defeated quickly

Oh hey spider man and hope! Wait where’s Scott????

No mourning or crying your friends died?

“From a place of hope.” Uh oh. What’s the Pyms do this episode?

Dangit Hank

Uh oh Zombie fam

NO PAUL RUDD

Well that was fast

Thanks a lot avengers

Well that was fast. A shrinking, almost impossible to see, zombie. At least we’ve got an army of flesh eating ants?

Thanks for the homemade video Peter

Weird that Tom Holland isn’t voicing Peter. I know he can voice act and he’s clearly sticking with the mcu for at least a little longer…

Poor Happy lol

“I’m not single, I’m saving myself for Thor.” Lmao me but with Loki

Hey at least Kurt is still alive!

BUCKY IS STILL ALIVE

Oh so is Sharon

Okoye is alive too!

Odd Peter isn’t like depressed considering not only did Tony die, but I’m assuming Aunt May and his best friends did too…

Oh that’s a cool place for a hideout! High above the streets held up by webbing! Just hope Hank Pym zombie is dead though because he can fly and shrink…

Spider-Man is oddly optimistic. Like yes he’s a bubbly teen in highschool but cmon. Be a little more pessimistic lmao. Even if you find a cure, too many people have been killed killed for it to be an easy fix. You’ll never see Tony again.

Poor Happy lmao

Oh that’s one way to kill a zombie

Split up? Okoye I thought you’d be smarter than this…

Oh happy has an Iron Man glove

Man I hope Bucky is okay

NOOOOOO ZOMBIE SAM WILSON

Uh oh

HAPPY NO!!!!

Blam!

Hawkeye Dangit

Oh poor Peter

Peter look out!

Dang I’m kinda surprised Sam got zombified considering he can fly

Really Sharon? Blam?

Dangit Bucky 😂

CAPEY TO THE RESCUE!!!

Hey since Scott is dead, maybe

Spider man supreme

Yea you should’ve stayed together

Uh oh

Sharon…

Run… tell the others

Tunnel

Uh oh

Cap…

Poor Bucky… you gotta kill him. He cant be saved like he saved you

Winter soldier all over again

End of line lmao. Still pulling one liners when killing ya best friend.

Oh poor Sharon

Finally the shield had realistic physics with killing people like that

Oh wow that was gory. Poor Sharon. Uh oh Hope.

Dangit Peter 😂

Yea how do you stay upbeat?

Well that got depressing fast

Now he does sound kinda like tom Holland, but not really. I’m confused.

Out of gas? Welp. Check that off the list of zombie cliches lol. That’s a lot of zombies.

Hope gonna sacrifice herself.

Giant hope. Gonna smoosh and get bitten as well I bet.

Yep Peter really losing everyone

Hope just shrink and fly you can still—okay never mind

Banner, maybe you would have been better with Thanos?

Babayaga? Watch her exist in this dimension.

Oh vision! Since he’s a robot is he immune?

Oh cool the stone is the key.

PAUL RUDD YAY!!!

Oh he’s just a head

Yo it’s futurama lmao

Uhhhh hey Scott your girlfriend just died outside. Sorry

Of course Wakanda is still okay

Bucky you know splitting up is a bad idea!!! Get back here?

BUCKY CMON

CHADWICK!!!!

And Wanda!!!

Oh no

Vision is evil

A swap of Wanda Vision

Love does suck

Dammit Vision

Uh oh

Maybe run?

The scarlet zombie

What was your prom like Scott?

Wingardium leviosa!

OKOYE NO!!!!!

Dammit vision!!!!

How is she so powerful as a zombie but Stephen strange who has had more experience died so easily

I’m honestly shocked Vision would do something like this. It seems so out of character. I mean, the keeping her alive is probably realistic, but sacrificing innocent people to feed her sounds really out of character. Yknow, with his whole android super intelligence thing… and seeing his reactions in WandaVision really makes this feel out of character… eh whatever… it’s an alternative reality…

Man it’s infinity war all over again

BUCKY NO CMON MAN

Oh yay hulk saved Bruce

Well, Bucky has survived longer falls in the past so…

Poor Peter. You’re an avenger now, kid!

If he still stays in Hulk form couldn’t he possibly be immune?

Or are we gonna get a zombie hulk? Because if so, lol we’re all doomed. An unkillable zombie

Giant hope zombie

Poor Scott…

Soooo Bruce? Is he good? We just leaving him behind

Poor Peter jeez

“In my culture, death is not the end.” Oh man I’m gonna cry… I miss Chadwick so much. I didn’t know he was going to be in this episode. Wakanda forever, King.

“The world could use a little heart.” Well Scott doesn’t exactly have a body or a heart soooo…

Oh crap zombie Thanos. How did he get all the stones?

Wait what???? That’s it???? We don’t get any closure???? What about Banner? What about the cure? What??? Oh come on! Not even a part two? Are you kidding???

Well that is a disappointing ending… gotta say I had higher hopes… even if it had a bad ending, I was hoping for like, well, AN ENDING.

Need part two. Not enough questions answered. How did Thanos get zombified? You’d think he’d be pretty invulnerable with all the stones. He also only just came to earth. What about Bucky? Sure he was yeeted but he’s survived longer falls. And Banner? What about Thor and the guardians? Would an asgardian even be affected by zombieism? I mean we saw other aliens get affected so probably, but still.

Too many unanswered questions. Felt like they wanted to tell more but the editor sneezed and cut the episode in half on accident.

#marvel #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #marvel studios #marvel series #marvel shows #marvel what if #what if #marvel’s what if #what if zombies

[andypartridges]

tagged by the bestie @dalliscar !! thank u 💖💖

who was your first favourite artist? the beatles & genesis - but if we're talking first artist i really got into of my own accord, probably duran duran?

who are your current favourites? all of the above, plus xtc, r.e.m., rush, blur, the chills, squeeze, lush, new order, japan, etc etc

are you into musicals? which ones/why not? i definitely am not a musical person, but i always make an exception for the pinnacle of modern cinema, mamma mia (2008). there's also a couple of musicals from my childhood that i have a soft spot for, like mary poppins, but otherwise i really just don't like them

are there songs you consider so special you only listen to them very rarely? not really? there's songs like no distance left to run by blur or afterimage by rush where i sometimes skip them bc i don't want to feel sad/i only want to listen to them when i'm upset, but i generally don't feel that sentimental about specific songs

what’s your preferred way of listening to music? (time of day, medium, situation) all day every day - usually spotify, otherwise i'm probably listening to something on vinyl/cd

what would you say is the most niche music you listen to? i guess 80s thai pop?? but it's not really niche to my family lmao

what’s your favourite music related movie/tv show that’s not a musical? that thing you do!! it's a parody/love letter to 60s pop bands, most obviously the beatles, but it's such a feel-good film and it's directed by tom hanks so you know it's gonna be a good time. also the monkees' tv show ofc

albums or playlists? albums

favourite albums? skylarking - xtc, 16 lovers lane - the go betweens, starfish - the church, how to be a human being - glass animals, hounds of love - kate bush, automatic for the people - r.e.m, crowded house - crowded house, songs of leonard cohen - leonard cohen. there are so many but those are the ones i can think of off the top of my head

is there an artist you're trying to get into? in terms of artists i'm trying to get into bc i've loved what i've heard, then i guess i'm getting more into new order than ever before. but if you mean an artist i've tried to get into but can't, then roxy music - it sucks bc i appreciate how influential they are and so many of my faves love them, but i've tried and they just don't do anything for me

whose music do you find overhyped? there's a lot of classic rock that i think is pretty overhyped, but i'll say guns n roses bc i can't stand them :)

what’s an underrated song? don't be - memory by the chills. the chills are pretty underrated as it is, but that song is one of my faves by them

what’s a thing a bunch of songs do that you love every time? when it's near the end of the song and the instruments are stripped away so it's just the drums/percussion and the vocals for a few bars, and then the instruments come back in??? i love that

what song is better acoustic? i love the acoustic/blue silver version of the chauffeur by duran duran - as much as i love the original i find myself playing this version more. the flamenco guitar slaps

what's the worst song of all time? when will i be famous - bros

do you put individual songs on repeat? if so, for how long and how often? i play songs to death until i'm sick of them so idk how to quantify that?? all i can tell you is that my neighbours are probably sick of hearing temptation and confusion by new order right about now

do you make your own playlists? if so, what’s your most entertaining playlist title? i have like. 65783893 playlists on spotify but only a quarter displayed on my profile bc nobody needs to go through all of that lmao but i think out of all the ones i have public my best playlist title is '80s music so bad it gave me a mullet' and it's basically just 80s pop songs that sound so dated but i love them bc of it

headphones or earbuds? earbuds

do you always sing the lead vocal or do you harmonize sometimes? if you harmonize, do you ever invent your own harmony? if there's a harmony, i always harmonise, but i also love inventing my own harmonies :-)

a musical confession? i've never seen almost famous :')

i will now tag some cool people: @gloria-gloom @westerberg @loiteringdiligently <3

#sorry if these answers are incoherent im going insane atm bc theres a new porcupine tree song out AND they announced a new album #i need to take 6-7 business days to process this information #tagged

[winterscaptain]

tali i have kind of a weird question? growing up my family never watched a lot of classic/common movies (we were FIRMLY a veggie tales house) so I have No Clue what like half of the movies you mention are? like I've never seen footloose or what a wonderful life or die hard? or practically... anything you've ever talked about :(

(also ive never seen mean girls but thats a oersonal failure cas I just. forget to watch it?)

do you have a fav/good movie i should start with cause I feel like I'm missing out on so much :(

hi honey!! you’re so valid, and i had LOTS of veggie tales experience growing up. i know you asked for one, but i went a lil ham on this list because you’ve unknowingly touched on one of my favorite hobbies

okay so i have a big list for you, but it’s in really manageable chunks!! i went to theatre school at the school that houses the Best Cinema School in the World (fight on, usc) and i have Opinions™!! 

if anyone has any other recs not on this list, drop em in the replies!!

i’ll put these in order of my preference/pop culture relevance, so it’s all subjective and idk what your taste is like, but if you have any questions im always here for you!! i’ve added a few notes and disclaimers along the way

this is a really good list to go off of, in general! 

okay so here are my top seven films that i never get tired of watching, in order.

skyfall

that thing you do

captain america: the first avenger/captain america: winter soldier

inglorious basterds*

the sound of music 

knives out

blazing saddles**

* inglorious basterds is a quentin tarantino movie, and tarantino isn’t for everyone. his films are always really bloody, intense, and rife with bad language. i don’t like him personally, but i love his work. this is, in my opinion, his best and funniest work

** blazing saddles is a mel brooks movie, and he’s REALLY offensive and inappropriate in his satire. it’s definitely an iconic comedy, but not to everyone’s taste. it’s one of those movies where you’re actually allowed to laugh at the really horrible jokes because it’s an equal-opportunity offense-fest lmao 

so here are some other genres and films that are a good foundation!

IN GENERAL!! i don’t like remakes. if there’s an older version of the movie, watch that one. trust me. 

i’ve also bolded a couple of key favorites on this list

romantic comedies

my best friend’s wedding

the ugly truth & 27 dresses (katherine hiegl movies ROCK)

sleepless in seattle & you’ve got mail (meg ryan and tom hanks own my ass)

when harry met sally

movies based on books/short stories

to kill a mockingbird

the book thief

the hunger games trilogy

divergent

chronicles of narnia

pride and prejudice (2005 or the bbc miniseries)

3:10 to yuma

based on a true story

ford v. ferrarri

three billboards outside of ebbing, missouri

moneyball

zero dark thirty

the king’s speech

black mass

apollo 11

documentaries*

ken burns’ civil war

ken burns’ baseball

paris is burning

blackfish

free solo

the hunting ground 

* please be advised, some of these documentaries cover some disturbing and distressing subjects. please engage responsibly!

superhero movies

iron man

the dark knight*

wonder woman

scott pilgrim vs the world (okay give me this one)

spider man 1, the amazing spider man, and spiderman: homecoming (all different spidermans, all great movies!

deadpool**

* tdk is really really dark, but the performances are immaculate.  ** deadpool is wildly inappropriate, so don’t take the R-rating lightly! it’s so funny though. so so fucking funny. 

teen favorites

10 things i hate about you

mean girls

she’s the man

easy a

heathers

70′s icons

jaws

monty python and the holy grail

butch cassidy and the sundance kid

star wars trilogy 

dirty harry

80′s classics

alien (technically in ‘79 but feels like an 80′s movie)

dirty dancing

john hughes movies!! the breakfast club, st. elmo’s fire, pretty in pink, sixteen candles, some kind of wonderful

back to the future

footloose

princess bride

90′s flicks

the matrix

three men and a baby

thelma and louise

pretty woman

notting hill

a league of their own

lgbt +

our own private idaho

brokeback mountain

moonlight

philadelphia

call me by your name

love, simon

some of these movies don’t get everything right. if you do choose to engage, engage critically and let the art make you feel something. 

tom hanks movies

yes he gets his own category

joe v the volcano 

castaway

big

saving mr banks

movies where the government saves matt damon

the martian 

saving private ryan

interstellar

jason bourne (technically he saves himself, but he’s still funded by the government)

war movies

fury

band of brothers

full metal jacket

the last full measure

war horse 

1917 

hacksaw ridge

westerns

django unchained

the magnificent seven

true grit

the good the bad and the ugly

a fistful of dollars

old hollywood

an affair to remember

breakfast at tiffany’s, roman holiday (audrey hepburn is an icon of the era)

any alfred hitchcock movie, but psycho and rear window are my faves

these movies don’t get everything right. they are a product of their time and often come with insensitive and unironically offensive cultural baggage. if you so choose, engage critically. you’re still allowed to enjoy the movies, just understand what’s not acceptable! 

christmas movies

it’s a wonderful life

white christmas

a christmas story

the holiday

die hard (some people don’t think this is a christmas movie. i disagree.)

the family stone

a year without a santa clause

halloween movies

hocus pocus

beetlejuice

anything by tim burton - the nightmare before christmas, the corpse bride

the shining

the blair witch project

get out

cult classics

the rocky horror picture show

the room

reservoir dogs

jennifer’s body 

point break

these are WAY more fun with friends - please quarantine responsibly, but it's so worth the wait to watch this with a big group of people.

#tali talks movies #anon reply #tali answers stuff

[zalrb]

What were your favourite childhood movies? I was rewatching the karate kid movies and the newest version is nowhere as good as the old one.

This list is kind of all over the place, haha, because some movies are movies I grew up with meant for my age group at the time and a lot of them aren’t because I was exposed to a lot of media as a kid, haha. I’m also jumping around in time 

Lion King --- I had Just Can’t Wait To Be King on repeat, I’d rewind it again and again and just sing it until I had to go to my room because my mother had enough

Aladdin --- apparently I just went around going, “I’m not a prize to be won!”

Land Before Time --- this movie is so fucking depressing but I really liked Ducky --- like to the point that the reason why I go “yepyep” is because Ducky goes “yepyepyep” and I remember when I realized that, I was like holy shit is that why all these years I go “yep yep” and my family was like, lol yes. But then as an adult I found out what happened to that child actress and that just made the movie all the more depressing 

The Breakfast Club --- I explained this yesterday I believe 

Grease --- so my mother loved/loves Grease, she knows all the songs, can play most of them on the piano and we used to live across the street from this movie theatre that played old movies and Grease was a regular so we watched it a lot 

Sixteen Candles --- I remember thinking this was so romantic as a kid. Super problematic movie tho

Titanic - ah yes, Titanic, Leonardo DiCaprio, my first celebrity love. Oh, I can’t stand this movie now, lmao

Lord of the Rings trilogy --- lmao so when the first movie came out, I was obsessed with the elves and Rivendell and I used to write my homework with swirly letters to look like elvish and my teachers complained so I had to get a talking to about it 

Love and Basketball --- first Black love story I ever saw. 

Back To The Future  1 and 2, lmao as John Mulaney pointed out, the first movie anyway is actually REALLY weird when you think about it 

Bad Boys --- I mean Martin Lawrence and Will Smith were the shit back then so I just liked watching them in a movie together

The Best Man --- THIS is funny so the 90s and early 00s saw a lot of African American movies and my mother was all about getting me to see Black people onscreen as much as I could so she took me to these movies even if it wasn’t exactly kid appropriate, she would just make sure to have a conversation with me about the movie when it ended, anyway, so when I was a kid, I didn’t really get a lot of the nuances of The Best Man but when it came out on VHS and when the soundtrack came out we got it so we watched it a lot and there’s a song by The Roots that I really like and one day I was like, I don’t know why I like this song so much and my mom was like because they play that song when you see Morris Chestnut for the first time and I think you went through puberty in the theatre when you saw him and I just diiiiiiiiiiiiiiied

As an adult, The Best Man is fucked up and I would’ve kicked Harper’s ass as well but only because what he did as a writer was a fucking dick move.

Pretty Woman --- it took me a while to realize that she was a sex worker

You’ve Got Mail --- I remember watching this in the theatre with my mom and being SO FRUSTRATED because I just didn’t understand why Tom Hanks couldn’t tell Meg Ryan the truth. 

Liar Liar --- I related to having an absentee dad who never made good on his promises but I also liked Jim Carey’s exaggerative facial expressions but I remember there’s this joke, so the whole premise is that Jim Carey didn’t show up to his son’s birthday when he said he would (relatable!) and his son was so tired of him breaking promises, he wishes that his father will never lie again but Jim Carey is a lawyer so that causes issues, lmfao, but anyway so Jim Carey can’t lie and he has sex with I think it’s his boss, I forget, but he has sex with someone and she’s like how was it? and he goes “I’ve had better” and every time that joke came on my family would CRACK UP so I kept being like “better what? GUYS WHAT DID HE HAVE BETTER OF? I DON’T GET IT” then my mom and I had a conversation, lmfao.

Goodfellas --- I remember my cousins watching this movie in the living room and I saw the scene of the gif I posted below and was like OH WHAT’S THIS and then they told me to go into the bedroom because it was too grown but it’s like they forgot there was a TV in the bedroom and I just turned it to the channel and watched it there. And the movie came on a lot on TV so I just watched it a lot by myself, lmfao.

Twin Warriors aka Tai Chi Master --- probably my favourite martial arts movie. I know there are better ones but I really resonated with this as a kid. Jet Li was a legend with my cousins. 

Fist of Legend 

Once Upon A Time in China

Romeo Must Die --- omg I played this movie ALL. THE. TIME. 

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon 

Boyz N The Hood --- a really important movie in my household to the point that I was excited to be able to write a paper on it in the same Popular Cinema from the 70s to the Present class I did my Breakfast Club paper for

same with Do The Right Thing

Jumanji -- I fucking love how mean-spirited this movie is and I did appreciate it as a child too although it freaked me the fuck out 

Clueless

Home Alone - god, Kevin’s family was terrible 

Home Alone 2 --- ah the movie/scene that changed my life

House Party --- to this day I haven’t been to a house party as live as this one 

Malcolm X --- another extremely important movie in my household

Hook --- ooooh I still love this movie so much!

Scream --- I remember when this movie was THE. SHIT. Scared the fuck out of me.

Hero --- this movie was so gorgeous

Rush Hour --- I would probably hate Rush Hour now tbh but whenever I hear “Fantasy” by Mariah Carey I think of the opening scene because I was Soo Young belting to Mariah Carey in the car, it was the best part of the movie for me as a kid because I was like I DO THAT TOO but then she gets kidnapped, so....

The Mummy --- CLASSIC

Gremlins 

Hercules - DUH

The Godfather --- I rarely talk about my dad but he was very much into mob movies because he liked the way they dressed and carriedt themselves in these movies, especially in The Godfather so whenever I was with him, The Godfather was on a lot 

He was also very much into comics, particularly Batman, so even though I don’t really care for DCU/MCU or comics, I’m more likely to go to a theatre (well pre-Covid) and pay to watch a Batman movie over any other comic movie - except Black Panther which is a huge exception because these Batman movies were a pat of my childhood

yes, even Batman and Robin, I even had the soundtrack, listening to Bone Thugs N Harmony on my bunk bed and shit.

Space Jam --- I recently watched the Movie Pitch for this and it had me hollering

Lean On Me --- I have complicated feelings about this movie now but I grew up watching it and I really liked it and the older I got the more I understood what the movie was actually about

Practical Magic --- I wanted to live in that house

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone --- because it was real finally!

Armageddon -- I still love this horrible, nonsensical, illogical, terrible movie because it’s utterly fantastic and hilarious. As a child I didn’t understand this moment and why it was such a huge ask, as an adult I’m like YES. IF I SURVIVE SAVING THE WORLD I’M NOT DOING THIS, THE FUCK I LOOK LIKE?

[waitimcomingtoo]

I Keep On Missing You - CHOOSE YOUR OWN ENDING

Pairing: Tom Holland X Reader X Brad Simpson

Warnings: jealousy, angst

Authors Note: I’ve always wanted to do a choose your own ending, so here it is! You can choose to end up with Tom or Brad from The Vamps. If you don’t listen to The Vamps, the story will still make sense but I highly recommend them because they’re awesome. A reader got me into them when she requested a Brad x Reader story many months ago and I’m finally delivering. Enjoy!

Masterlist

It was your first time appearing on the Graham Norton show, and you were on with Tom Hanks and Brad Simpson from The Vamps. Tom waited for you in your dressing room, and you felt a little less nervous knowing he was there. You made easy conversation with the other guests until you noticed something funny about Brad.

“You look like my boyfriend.” You noted, noticing how he bore a striking resemblance to Tom. Brad looked at you with a sly smile and raised his eyebrows.

“Is that a come on? Like I look like your next boyfriend?” Brad asked in his husky British accent. The audience cheered and you felt your cheeks heating up.

“No, you genuinely look like him.” You defended with an embarrassed laugh. Brad pretended to hang his head in disappointment.

“That’s a shame. I was kinda hoping it was a come on.” He said as he scooted a little closer. You rolled your eyes playfully and fixed your dress, knowing he was staring at you. 

“Sparks are flying.” Graham instigated. “Have you two met before?”

“We met a few years ago but we didn’t keep in touch.” You nodded.

“We should’ve kept in touch.” Brad said, to your surprise. You’d become a fan of The Vamps since meeting him but figured he’d forgotten you. “Maybe then I’d be your boyfriend.” He added with a causal shrug. The audience erupted again. You touched a hand to your burning cheek and looked at Brad, who had his tongue between his teeth.

“Brad.” Graham gasped. “Such a flirt.”

“Yeah, should we leave and give you two some room?” Tom Hanks joked, making your blush even worse.

“I did think you were cute.” You said as you crossed your legs and leaned back, figuring there was no harm in telling him that.

“Really?” Brad asked and you nodded. “I fancied you so hard. Do you know my song Lovestruck?”

“Yes, obviously.” You said, still recovering from him saying he liked you.

“Guess who I wrote it about.” He said cheekily. Your jaw dropped at his implication, feeling simultaneously honored that he’d written a song about you and embarrassed that he heard you singing Wonderwall incorrectly and immortalized it in song lyrics.

“No way.” You stated.

“I wanted to scream your name over the airway.” Brad shrugged again as he referenced the song and you beamed.

“I think Y/n wanted to scream your name as well.” Graham said with a smirk.

“Woah there, Graham. I have a boyfriend.” You laughed in embarrassment again as Brad raised his eyebrows and looked at you.

“That’s right. Mr. Tom Holland.” Graham made a face and the audience applauded. “Is he here tonight?”

“He’s probably plotting Brad’s demise in my dressing room right now, actually.” You quipped, feeling somewhat guilty that Tom was backstage watching you get flirty with another boy. You decided to tone it down a little. “I’m so flattered you wrote me a song though. That was really nice.”

There. Nice. Nice wasn’t flirty. Nice was nice.

“Darling, I’d write you a million love songs.” Brad said suavely, and you had to look away. Your heart was racing. Yes you loved Tom, but one of your favorite singers just said he’d write you a million love songs. The rest of the interview went by in a blur and you couldn’t remember any of it. You made sure no more flirty interactions happened between you and Brad as you said goodbye and got his number before rushing to your dressing room.

“Tom?” You asked sweetly as you entered the room. He was sitting on the couch, looking through his phone. From his posture alone, you could tell he was angry.

“Hey, Tommy.” You sat down next to him and rubbed his back. He tensed you under your touch and didn’t look up from his phone.

“What was that?” He asked bleakly.

“That was, uh, that was Brad.” You offered.

“I know who he is.” Tom said impatiently. “I mean why were you all over him?”

“What?” You took your hand off his back, a little insulted. “I wasn’t all over him. It was innocent flirting that he started. And you know how Graham is. He’s a trouble maker.”

“It didn’t seem innocent.” Tom finally looked at you and he definitely wasn’t happy. “He’s into you, and he didn’t seem to care that you had a boyfriend.”

“Tom, it’s fine.” You switched back to being comforting. “He’s not into me. Don’t worry.”

“He called you darling.” Tom said gravely. You blinked in annoyance. You were trying to take the higher road, but Tom was making it impossible.

“He was probably just playing it up for the audience.” You said, the sweetness in your voice fading. “It’s nothing. Like I said, don’t worry about it. He’s actually really nice and we made plans to hang out.”

“You are not hanging out with him.” Tom stood up swiftly upon hearing your words. He put his hands on his hips and you suddenly felt like you were being scolded by your father.

“That’s not your decision.” You stood you as well, folding your arms.

“It makes me uncomfortable and I don’t want you around him.” Tom shrugged as if to say “too bad” and you scoffed. “I-I forbid it.”

“You forbid it?” You repeated with wide eyes. “I’m sorry, since when are you in charge of me?”

“Since Brad Simpson wrote a song about you.” Tom shot back.

“So? That’s not my fault.” You snapped.

“He wants to write more, darling.” Tom exaggerated the last word and you found yourself getting angrier and angrier.

“I can’t control what he does and you can’t control what I do.” You stated before taking out your phone and drafting a message.

“What are you doing?” Tom moved closer to you but you pulled your phone away.

“Texting him.” You said without looking up. “I’m just saying I had fun seeing him.”

“Don’t text him that. He’s gonna think you’re into him.” Tom protested and grabbed your phone from your hands.

“Thomas!” You said in annoyance. Toms eyes softened. He knew that wasn’t the move. He handed you your phone back sheepishly and took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry, I’m just-“ he tried to apologize.

“Just insanely jealous? Just trying to control me? Just overreacting to me making a friend?” You spat. Toms eyes hardened back up and he lowered his voice, soft by still firm.

“He doesn’t want you as a friend.” He shook his head, his eyes pleading with you to understand.

“Well I want him as a friend and you can’t stop me.” You said, not harshly, but factually.

“You’re not allowed to text that boy.” He warned. “I won’t let you.”

“You won’t let me?” You scoffed.

“That’s not what I meant.” Tom squeezed his eye shut as he looked for words to say. “I just don’t want you texting him.”

“I’m not.” You held up your hands in defense. “But I don’t see what the big deal is.”

“He called you darling.” Tom repeated to make his case.

“Okay, and?” You shrugged. “I like being called darling.”

“By me.” Tom practically growled. You raised one eyebrow and felt like challenging him.

“You don’t own the word.” You taunted.

“It’s my nickname for you and he used it.” Tom said possessively.

“How was he supposed to know that’s your nickname for me? He’s British. It’s a common word. Let it go.” You dismissed him again and the conversation ended there. All conversation ended there, because he didn’t say a word to you in the car, at home, or before you went to sleep.

You sat up in bed in the middle of the night when a light started pouring through your eyelids. You stirred and saw Tom sitting up next to you, holding your phone in his hands. You sat up and didn’t say a word.

“You texted him.” Tom said without any emotion.

“You went through my phone?” You asked, half asleep and confused.

“Hey! I had a nice time seeing you again tonight. I definitely want to take you up on that offer to catch up over coffee. Let’s just try to stay in touch this time.” Tom read your message out loud in a cheery voice. “I really liked seeing you too! I forgot how funny you are (and how gorgeous lmao). I’d love to meet up. Name the day and I’ll be there. It’s a date.” Tom read Brads response in a deeper voice. He looked completely unamused.

“You went through my phone.” You said again, not as a question this time. As a statement.

“He said it was a date.” Tom added, never taking his eyes off the messages.

“You went through my phone.” You said as if you were realizing something. You got out of bed and threw a robe around yourself.

“You said you wouldn’t text him.” Tom looked at you, furrowing his eyebrows as you began to put some things in a backpack. He watched for a minute as you kept your back to him.

“What are you doing?” He finally asked. You stopped packing and looked at him, tears in your eyes. You held the robe close to you and shrugged sadly.

“I don’t think this is working out.” You said, and the tears fell.

“What?” Toms face went white and he scrambled out of bed. You stepped away from him when he came near you.

“You and me.” You sniffled and shook your head. “This...this feels wrong.”

“Darling-“ Tom said tearfully as he reached out for you. You backed away.

“It’s Y/n.” You corrected, zipping up your back and heading for the door.

“You can’t be serious.” Tom whimpered as you zipped your jacket up and opened the front door. You stopped at looked at him for a while, taking him all in. You shivered, then nodded.

“I am.” You said, and shut the door behind you as you left.

Six months after you’d walked out, Tom saw a picture of you and Brad kissing on the cover of a magazine. His heart broke into pieces as he realized you really were serious.

CHOOSE YOUR ENDING

YOU END UP WITH TOM

YOU END UP WITH BRAD

Tag List 🏷

@maybemona​ @sunrise-shawn​ @foreverxholland​ @writing-for-hours-on-end​ @lavender-writer​ @captainmandeestudent17​ @whatareyouhidingpeter​ @takenbyheartstrings​ @ultrunning​ @imyourliquor-youremypoison​ @theolwebshooter​ @autumnlyholland @andreasworlsboring101​ @guksmyfav​ @waiting-to-be-myself​ @letsloveimagines​ @ho-ho-holland​ @peterparkoure​ @a-villain-vying-for-attention​ @m19friend @justcallmehitgirl​ @iamanerdot @averyfosterthoughts​ @jackiehollanderr​ @tiny-friggin-human​ @celestial-skylines​

#tom holland x y/n #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland angst #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland jealous #brad simpson #brad simpson x reader #the vamps #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #spider man: homecoming #spiderman x reader #iron man #brad simpson x you

[twentyeightif]

6, 9, 16, 28 ,67, 92! :)

6

pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

grunge!! I don’t have much of it in my wardrobe personally but it’s so cool to me. 

9

favorite smell in the summer?

ooo i like the smell of the beach--sometimes--because sometimes it just smells like dirt, but i like the ocean and fresh air. 

16

most comfortable position to sit in ?

i was trying to find a stock photo for it but i can’t. so. if i’m sitting on a couch, i just have my legs tucked to the side and kinda under me if that makes sense? and if i’m on a chair i either have my knees up to my chin or with my legs crossed.

28

five songs to describe you?

oh no this one is hard.. i mean, i have a list of songs i wish were about me. so i’m just gonna list those as a copout because i’m bad at choosing 

Girl - The Beatles

She’s a Rebel - Green Day

She Said She Said - The Beatles

That Thing You Do - The Wonders**

Jet - Paul McCartney

67

good luck charms?

uhh i don’t have any? i never really got the point of em. 

92

lamps, overhead lights, sunlight, or fairy lights?

i usually just use the overhead lights in my house, but it does give it a nice cozy vibe when i use lamps. fairy lights are also really nice but i don’t think they’re a good light source if you’re actually trying to see lmao

**probably good to mention that The Wonders are a fictional band from the Tom Hanks movie That Thing You Do! 

it’s such a good film, i highly recommend it

#asks #non knee #these ones were hard ohmgod

[tinyphantomsalad]

Shit My Friends And I Say On The Group Chat:

k so because our group chat is full of comedy geniuses i’ve compiled this list of zero context sayings that you lot need to see

enjoy this monstrosity :

@unhealthily-obsessed-and-ranting

- “oh fuck was that confidence? unsubscribe”

- “I can’t get over the fact that there’s a whole sky movies channel dedicated to Tom fucking hanks”

- “I still want to know what happened to Gen Y”

- “ughhhhh my tongue hurts”

- “WE HAVE ESTABLISHED MULTIPLE TIMES THAT HE IS A BAD IDEA”

- “my brother reckons our cat used to be Tupac in a previous life”

- “I just ate the sexiest salad alive like it tasted so good”

- “i know how i want to dress but how i want to dress is not socially acceptable”

- “God intended for you to sleep on the floor??”

- “there’s clapping outside and it sounds like bad sex”

- “can you imagine a goth bbq?”

- “hello there” [unfortunately was not met with General Kenobi]

- “everybody hates each other and it is beautiful”

- “JOE KENDA IS AN INTERNATIONAL TREASURE”

- “yah he’s just murdering villagers”

- “I’m the biggest bitch in Britain”

- “just existing and waffle”

- “I nearly choked to death on a Yorkshire pudding during dinner just cos my stepdad made me laugh so much by saying we should have called the cats “spaff” and “smeg” (“smegma” for full)”

- “Spaff Allen?”

- “Imagine that cat running away and you having to go round the neighbourhood yelling “SPAFF! COMMERE SPAFF””

- “the only incriminating things i have are on my laptop and phone or in a secure P.O. box in Loughborough”

- “why would i voluntarily do work that other people will do for me?”

- “that’s the shirt of the gays”

- “I MADE A SCHEDULE AND I FUCKING STUCK TO IT”

- “Why are we saying random words?”

- [about cookies] “there's worst addictions to have”

- “lmao there’s gonna be a horrible histories episode about 2020”

- “I would make a great prime minister”

- “jesus fucky ducky doo i’m tired”

- “there’s cats you can get from the rspca called “Catrick Swayze” and “Catilie Portman””

-“those sound like answers on jeopardy”

- “also I’ve found the greatest sentence ever written: “vaginal eggs are no more real to me than penis toast or anal pancakes””

- “last time i drank gin i woke up in a park hanging off the monkey bars”

- “if i tell you guys “i’m gonna smack some scrambled eggs” i get three wildly different replies from each of you in varied degrees of excitement i love it”

- “I just woke up confused”

- “I’m either the skeletons thrilled by their recent impulse purchase or Virgin Mary regretting all her choices”

- “SMARTIES ARE JUST PLASTIC SHIT WITH SUBPAR CHOCOLATE THAT DOESNT EVEN TASTE LIKE CHOCOLATE” [and i’m fucking right]

- “tell him to fuck off like the nasty little gremlin fucker he is”

- “my brother just described mange tout (tiny lil pea things) as “a pathetic excuse for a green bean””

-“and he’s absolutely right”

- “you can smack it and it’ll wobble”

- “a dilf if i ever saw one”

- “so i wacked myself witch a big stick

and not the good kind”

- “Couples come dine with me always consists of the same three types of couple: the gays, the couple where one is old enough to be the others parent, and the forty-somethings trying to inject some life and happiness into a loveless dying marriage”

- “The guy spent half his life in prison and the other half doped up on opium.”

- “sounds like my kinda man”

- “Dr Christian jessen has eyebrows more expressive than my entire being”

- “who would willingly read animal farm again lmao”

- “i had a nightmare about fucking Mario” [ensue very confused replies]

there are so many more

#long post #shitpost #textpost #funny #humour #shit my friends say #group chat #text #txt #comedy gold #comedy #shit we put on the gc #jim shitposts

[eddiesdiaz]

No idea of you've answered any of these yet. 5, 13, 16, 24, 25, 28, 29, 30, 31, 40, 57, 85, 86, 90, 95, 102, 103, 110, 145, 150, 151, 176, 189, and 200. 🥰❤

venesa omg what an absolute legend 🙌🏻 i’ll spare y’all and put this one under a read more lmao

5. (favorite) color: pink and yellow

13. (favorite) concert attended: i did this one but i’ll go with my second favorite which is probably halsey

16: (favorite) book: ACTUALLY AS A MATTER OF FACT you’ll be happy to know i finally read red, white, and royal blue a couple days ago (literally like nine months after you recommended it to me because i’m the worst) and honestly? it’s my new favorite

24. (favorite) movie: i can’t pick just one - my holy trinity is inception, interstellar, and gone girl

25. (favorite) tv show: currently 911, of all time probably breaking bad

28. (favorite) band: probably all time low, or maybe 5 seconds of summer

29. (favorite) singer: taylor swift

30. (favorite) actress: zendaya

31. (favorite) actor: tom hanks, i’m not sorry lmao

40. last person i got mad at: i don’t get mad often so idr but if i had to guess, probably my mom for lecturing me about getting a job lmao

57. tv shows you watch: currently? 911, 911 lone star, this is us, superstore, svu, manifest, black-ish, brooklyn 99, better call saul, bob’s burgers, the x files, grey’s anatomy, murdoch mysteries, and i think i might start rewatching community soon

85. the thing i’m not looking forward to: not to be a downer but i’m honestly not looking forward to much of anything these days lmao

86. the thing that i’m looking forward to the most: jeannette’s sister is coming to stay with us for christmas! she gets here tomorrow and i’m super excited to see her

90: (last time i) texted: just now - i asked my mom what she wants for christmas lol

95. (last time i) got my nails done: two ish weeks ago? it’s the one thing i still go and do because it helps a lot with my dermatillomania

102. (last time i) ate: i had chicken alfredo for dinner 😋

103. (last time i) hugged someone: i hug jeannette every day whether she likes it or not lmfao

110. (here’s what i think about) my neighbors: honestly i pretty much live by the “you mind your business and i’ll mind mine” approach 😂 there’s this one guy that jumped my car once when my battery died, though, so i will speak to him and only him

145. night or day: i would love to have a normal sleeping schedule and be a day person, but you know that i do not and i am not lmao

150. blondes or brunettes: 🤷🏻‍♀️ i just think people are pretty, man, i don’t get caught up in the details

151. red heads or black haired: see above lmao

176. last youtube video watched: in case y’all didn’t know i am a sims geek lol

189. last book you read: red, white, and royal blue 

200. my crush’s name is: @madamewriterofwrongs 🥰

#darrenhasmyheart #ask

[purplesurveys]

1083

surveys by chasingghosts

Just a boring word association survey inspired by one of my old ones. Say the first thing that comes to your head. Don't overthink it :)

Keyboard: Monitor.

Dog: Dalmatian.

School: Pencils.

Italy: Roman Holiday. Ahh one of my favorite movies; such a classic.

Fire: BTS, heh.

Table: Chairs.

Mask: Face mask. New normal and all.

Blanket: Weighted blankets. I still don’t get how they work and I keep imagining that a 20-lbs blanket would feel too warm...I guess I’m willing to try it for a night, but I dunno if I would want to spend 5,000 bucks on one.

Gun: That curly-haired blonde dumbass from the US who keeps bringing one around.

Soda: Fizzy. Do not like.

Man: Trash.

Beautiful: Beast. Beautiful and the Beast is the knockoff version, hahaha.

Country: Roads.

Dictionary: Thesaurus.

Play: Playgrounds.

Yoga: Mat.

Cross: Country.

Happy: Emojis.

Change: Coins.

Orange: The fruit with the same name. Also, hair dye.

Cereal: Fruity Pebbles and Lucky Charms.

Record: Vinyl records, aka what I would like to invest in eventually.

Jail: The Shawshank Redemption, even though I personally didn’t really like it lmao.

Tank: This made me think of the Elisa Lam case. It’s unfortunate what happened to her but personally, I’ll always be more disturbed by the stories of people who had to drink or bathe in that nasty contaminated water.

Plane: Travel. :(

Machine: Factories.

Empty: Outer space.

Medicine: Nasty taste. Whenever I was sick as a kid my parents/grandma always made me drink Tempra which tastes like shit and it took a lot of effort for me not to throw them back up. I hope kids these days have more better-tasting options for medicine.

Stockings: Uncomfortable. I hate stockings and always dread occasions where I’ll have to put them on. Fortunately I haven’t had to for five years now.

Curry: Spicy and aromatic.

Football: Superbowl. Or is it SuperBowl? Super Bowl? Anyway, that event.

Blonde: Jennifer Aniston, heheh.

Pink: Barbie.

Cart: Online shopping.

Bag: Herschel.

Bourbon: Breaking Bad, though I’m not sure if it was indeed bourbon that Hank/Walt regularly drank. First thing that came to mind, though.

Karaoke: Philippine parties.

Caterpillar: That chemical they release when they’re stepped on.

Wizard: Harry Potter.

Number: Queues, lol.

Tired: Myself.

Baby: Baby videos.

Beach: Moana.

Castle: The first thing I thought of is this big orange castle - that is actually an inn - that I would have to pass by every single morning on my way to school, from kinder to high school. It looked like such a pretty, magical castle as a kid and I, along with probably all of my schoolmates who went the same route, thought a real princess lived in it; it just felt that magical. But as I got older I realized most inns/hotels with outlandish gimmicks are the cheap and tacky ones, so the magic was ruined for me as the years went by, haha.

Rock: Patrick Star from Spongebob, since he lives under one.

Hotel: Top-notch hospitality and service.

Weather: Gloomy.

Beanbag:  Comfort.

Clean: Vacuum cleaners...and my mom.

Angry: Rage.

--

I was inspired to make this when I saw a similar survey on here. Answer true or false, or simply mark an 'x' for what applies to you.

Michelle:

You love anything Disney related. I mean not anything? I wouldn’t want Disney merch of every single thing that could be turned into merch; but I do love Disney movies and they have always been great at creating songs that make you feel all magical and giddy inside.

You find any excuse to go shopping. False. I haven’t created a hobby out of shopping; at least not yet, I think. But going inside H&M several times for the past month to buy gifts for my friends has definitely helped in making me see the appeal of shopping. For now, though, I’d still rather do my browsing and shopping in non-clothing stores.

You’re younger than most of your friends. False. I have older and younger friends, but most of them are also 1998 babies since most of my friends are the people I went to school with.

You have really long hair, to your waist or longer. False. It has gotten a lot longer over the past year, but it’s still only up to my upper chest.

You’re pretty antisocial. False. I don’t like throwing this term around loosely because it’s a real personality disorder. I have also gotten more comfortable with people in the last few years and I don’t prefer to be alone anymore.

You have a pet dog/cat that sleeps in your bed with you. False. Either are terrible in staying in bed.

You haven’t had your first kiss yet. False. I had it six years ago, and I have shared hundreds and probably thousands of kisses after that.

You’re Asian. We finally got one! Haha.

You’re good at cooking. Yeah, this is the biggest false statement in this category.

You have dreams of working as a chef. I can see how it’s appealing, but it was never a career dream of mine. My dad is a chef, though.

Cheyenne:

You’re blonde, but not naturally. I currently don’t have plans to dye my hair blonde.  

You always have your fingernails painted. False. I’m the complete opposite of this, but I do want to start having my nails painted professionally as a way to pamper myself from time to time.

You obsess over things easily, to the point of them taking over your life. True, I guess. I get very sensitive and I overthink and overanalyze a lot of actions and situations that aren’t meant to be more than what they actually are. Just last night and this morning I had a bunch of dreams that had to do with a work-related problem I ran into last night. When I feel anxious about something, they would undoubtedly take over my life and it would take a while to break free from them.

You spend a lot of time on the internet. For almost every single minute that I am awake, yes. Sometimes I’ll attempt to disconnect every now and then - which I’ve been better at, to be fair to myself - but it’s always only a matter of time before I will have to look something up on Google.

Your phone may as well be surgically attached to your hand. True. I will occasionally turn it completely off so that no notifications come in, especially during weekends and holidays; but it stays close to me all the same.

You use Snapchat way too much. False. Not anymore, but I definitely used too. I had Snap streaks of varying lengths with a lot of my friends back then. 

You eat a lot of fast food. True and I don’t really feel bad about it, lmao. I love food that tastes good.

You love a bit of gossip. Also true. Not my nicest trait but I do like to keep updated. I mostly receive them though; I never spread or start any myself.

You’re really good at keeping secrets. It’s not my story to tell, so yes, true. I used to share secrets only with Gabie since she was very forgetful, but obviously I don’t have that kind of person anymore.

You’ve never had a boyfriend/girlfriend. False. I’ve had one and we had two stints together.

Morgan:

You work as a receptionist. False, but my mom used to be one. This was before she made the transfer to a more corporate workspace as a secretary.

You eat a lot of food yet you’re still so thin. True. Runs in both sides of the family.

Your siblings are your best friends. My sister and I have a very casual relationship, and while we’re on great terms we don’t do cheesy nor sentimental. I’m not on speaking terms with my brother.

Not many people see your face without makeup. False. Everybody sees me without makeup all the time precisely because I don’t like putting makeup on.

You spend your money carelessly. I can, especially when it comes to spoiling myself or other people. But I am also equally good at saving if I have to.

You dream of living overseas one day. I can confidently tell you that a lot of Filipinos consider this because the situation here hasn’t been stable for the longest time – politically, because we’ve always been led by incompetent heads; economically, because of the Marcoses’ dictatorship and abuse of power and the country’s funds; and socially, because of all the backward, Catholic stances that my country continues to stand for. I would love to live in a place where I wouldn’t be glared at for holding a girl’s hand or where most people are educated enough to vote responsible people into office.

You have a penpal. False. Never had one, never been interested in finding one.

You’re older than most of your friends. False. I vibe the best with people my age so even if I do have some younger friends, my comfort zone are with those who are also 22.

Most of your friends live out of town. An overwhelming majority of them live in Metro Manila, yes. I live just right outside so technically I’m the one who lives ~out of town~

You swear like a sailor. Eh, not anymore. I still let out a number of swear words daily, though. Just not in every sentence.

Tom:

You have so many nicknames that it’s hard for you to keep track. False. I have a grand total of one nickname, and even that is just reserved for family. Most people just call me Robyn.

You have large feet. False as well. My feet are small and can easily slip into size 5 or 6 shoes.

Most of your friends are of the opposite sex. Can’t say this is true. I can only think of one guy friend, who is Hans. I haven’t been able to keep up with my other friends, like JM and Ed, since most of them are busy with either law or med school, and simply because Covid has kept us from seeing each other.

Romantic relationships make you shy and nervous. Getting into one does. Once settled I’m pretty comfortable, mainly because I enjoy nothing more than looking out for the people I love. I’m not looking for a relationship though; not anytime soon.

You watch reality shows religiously. Eh, I wouldn’t describe it as ‘religiously’ but I do watch my fair share of them from time to time when I just want stupid, too-easy-to-digest content.

Pop music is your favourite. One of my favorites. I used to be shy about liking Top 40 songs but the older I get the more I realized that that’s music snobs’ problem and shouldn’t be mine.

Family is very important to you. Only because I’m Asian and family being ~important comes as a default the moment I was born. I’m not emotionally close with them though and they honestly probably wouldn’t weigh so much if I had to make major decisions, like migrating to the other side of the world or having a civil wedding.

You’re the youngest child in your family. False - complete opposite. I am the eldest.

You call your mother by her first name. False. Save for others who may not have the best relationships with their mothers, why would someone do this? :/

You dream of living in a big city one day. True. Yeah, absolutely. Give me all the construction noises and busy traffic and skyscrapers. I feel like I would be the most alive I’ve ever been once I start to live in a loud and hectic big city.

Harry:

You’re determined and motivated in all aspects of your life. Not always. That sounds exhausting. I allow myself to take a breather every now and then; and if I want to be unproductive for a while, I don’t ban myself from being so.

You’re much taller than the majority of your friends. Haha, definitely false. I belong to the smaller batch. I had a massive growth spurt from ages 9-10 but then it just kinda stopped there lol.

You go to the gym at least three days a week. Not the gym, but I do work out from home with that frequency.

You care a lot about your appearance. Ehhh I’m gonna say false. Having to stay/work from home does that. I like dressing up when I get to go outside though, since I seldom get to do it.

You’re a social butterfly. Trueish. I do like being around people more and more now, yeah; but of course, it’s still a work in progress for me. One thing I’m sure if is that I’m definitely not as introverted as I used to be and I have no problem opening up in a group.

You party almost every weekend. I’d love to, but can’t do that for the meantime.

You’re very straightforward and never repeat yourself. Ideally, yes. I like to move on quickly from things and settle them as fast as I can.

You love to write and have been told you’re talented. I do like to write, just not fiction stuff. Writing is my main talent and so I’ve gotten a lot of compliments on it over the years.

You consider yourself intelligent. Booksmart, at least.

You’re a bit of a player. Like, when it comes to relationships and flirting? ...Hell no. Again, very straightforward person lmao I’m either in a relationship or not.

Zack:

You’re in a band. False. Never been and never been interested.

You’re straight-edge. HAH, remember when I claimed to be edge when I was a teenager...I will say that listening to punk throughout high school and being familiar with the straight edge scene gave me a sense of belonging for a time, and it taught me so many important mindsets like positive mental attitude. But I can admit to myself that straight edge was a commitment I failed at, and as the saying goes, “If you’re not now, you never were.” I’ll always be thankful to the movement for helping me keep going during my tough teenage years, though.

You can play two or more instruments. Will it count if I say I know how to play the recorder, maracas, and the triangle? Hahahahaha but in all seriousness, I believe I don’t deserve to bold this.

You’re an uncle/aunt. I’m a godmother, which is pretty much aunt status in the Philippines. My godson is my first cousin though, and him being my cousin takes precedence over the fact that he is my godson.

You love Doctor Who. False. Never got into it.

You’re short for your age and most of your friends tower over you. I’m shorter, thinner, and look younger for my age. Long story short, I look like I’m 16 and I’m the one who gets ID’d the most whenever I enter bars or malls. I always feel triumphant whenever I get to show my driver’s license to judgy bouncers or security guards who look at me all conceitedly, though.

You’ve been cheated on before. False. My ex is heavily against cheating, and I always trusted her.

You have a big family. Any Asian would bold this, let’s be real. My immediate family itself is small with only 5 members; but my entire family – 1st cousins, 2nd cousins, 3rd cousins (and so on), cousins-in-law, cousins of cousins, aunts- and uncles-in-law, great-aunts/uncles and all – would amount to hundreds of relatives.

You have a nap every single day, without fail. Can’t do that as I have a busy 8-hour shift each weekday and I make up for it during weekends by drinking multiple cups of coffee a day.

You’re mostly quiet, but you can be loud when the situation calls for it. Definitely true. Or when I’m with the right mix of people.

Jenny:

You’re really good with computers. False. I know most things a Gen Z-er would know about, like basic spreadsheet formulas, keyboard shortcuts, how to retrieve files that crashed – basically the stuff that would let me survive at work; but to this day, I will still ask my much-techier sister how to download fonts or open ZIPs or compress photos.

You’re shy. At first; but I no longer have a hard time warming up to new people or situations.

You underestimate yourself often. True. While I know this isn’t a very good trait of mine, I find that it’s actually helpful sometimes? Setting my expectations low helps make me proud of myself whenever I succeed or excel at a task. In the long run, I’m okay with this mindset.

You recently moved house. The last time I did this was in 2008. I’m not looking to move out any time soon either as I make far from enough to afford even just renting a place.

You have a German Shepherd. False. The only people I know who own one is Chelsea’s family, but it’s been like five years since I saw that dog.

You wear baggy clothes. False. Not my style.

You almost always wear a beanie. False. I am never seen with a beanie and I only wear one when I’m in places with a much colder climate than Manila, like Baguio.

You have long hair if you’re a boy, and short hair if you’re a girl. Also false. My hair has since gotten a lot longer, and I’m due for another trim.

You recently got out of a really long relationship. True. Not my choice, but true.

You’re in a band. Again, never been.

Emily:

You’re a really good drawer. You mean an artist? False. At 22, I can only promise you stick figures.

You can’t help but doodle on anything you see. If there’s a pen and scratch paper lying around that are free to use, I will most definitely use up the whole page. Instead of doodling, though – since I can’t draw – I write things, practice my penmanship to make sure it hasn’t gotten all rusty, and whatnot. 

You want a career in art. False. That career path has always been paved for my sister.

You’re basically a personal taxi service for your friends who can’t drive. Hahaha this was essentially me in pre-pandemic days. Driving is such a simple good deed for someone considering the shitty public transportation in my country, and I would’ve been an asshole if I didn’t do anything to help my friends out.

Jeans and band shirts are your favourite thing to wear. Mom jeans and just *t-shirts are overall a great casual combo that never gets dated; but I don’t do band shirts.

You’re always wearing a necklace and lots of wristbands/bracelets. False. I would love more jewelry, though.

You have a lot of piercings on your ears. Also false. I’m not interested in piercings.

Your hair is currently an unnatural colour. False. It’s just black.

Not many people see your loud and boisterous side. I save this for my super super close friends.

You have several friend groups which you move between often. I can think of three off the top of my head.

Jack:

You always seem to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. This was me for six yearssssss, haha. The image I held for the longest time is that I was off the market and was in a happy, fulfilling, long-term relationship; so these days, it can get kinda fun watching people fumble around, not used to seeing me single again after what feels like a lifetime.

You have a fear of being single. I used to, only because I was taken for a really long time. I didn’t know if singlehood would work out for me, or how I would handle it. It took some getting used to but I’m happy now. I’m not looking to date, much less consider jumping into another romantic relationship.

When you’re not in a relationship, you’re a big flirter. Not at all. The flirting/dating scene is just not for me.

You are really sensitive and sympathetic towards your friends. I mean...like any good friend? Lmao.

Music means a lot to you. It doesn’t keep me alive per se, but sure.

You often overdo it when you drink alcohol. I wouldn’t say so. I like chugging a lot within the first 30 minutes (which helps because I’m low-tolerance and get lit way earlier than others do lol) but because I’ve always had to drive myself home after drinking nights in college, I’ve been conditioned to still be responsible with my alcohol and to start sobering up 2 hours before I have to leave.

You have no shame and love to be silly and have fun. I do like having fun in many ways, but I am probably the most rigid among my friends. I don’t really like doing silly dares or skits or dances in public.

You’re impulsive and this isn’t always a good thing. I’m working on it and have been better at it over the last few months. Now I take more time to think about things and weigh them out before I make a decision.

You have facial hair. False. There’s some light hair above my lip, nothing super thick or recognizable.

You have a baby brother/sister. False. I have younger siblings but I call neither of them my baby sibling because they are 20 and 17, lmao.

Nicole:

You’re madly in love with your significant other. I don’t get to answer this anymore. If you met me at an earlier time I would’ve gladly said yes, though.

You want to get married when you’re young. False. I want to get married when I feel mature enough and financially capable of handling a marriage and the things that can come out of a marriage, like a house and kids.

You’re quite petite. I’m naturally petite, yes. I’ve always been on the skinny side and I’m also shorter than most of my friends.

You dye your hair regularly. False. It has stayed black all my life, but I do want to experiment with green.

It’s almost impossible for you to feel the cold. False. I’m very sensitive to the cold and will shiver easily in an air-conditioned room.

You’re really good at flattering other people. Sure, I like giving compliments and reassurances.

You’re very self-conscious. And very insecure sometimes, yeah.

You find it difficult to make new friends. Sure, but only because I like to control the people that are in my circle. I’m not desperate to have hundreds of friends so this isn’t an issue for me.

People often stereotype you as emo. I have never gotten this before.

You’ve come a long way in the past couple of years. What can I say? Been through a lot, been through hell and back, been discarded and doubted, but I’m still here.

The end.

Who were you most like? Cheyenne. Cute name, too.

#survey #surveys #multiple surveys

[archiveofidentityconstellations]

cass won't share her cheese nibs and bruce doesn't love me and i think?? that i deserve better??? than this???? i'm moving to alaska where NO ONE CAN TELL ME WHAT TO DO

the sequel to that one trix yogurt fic

I feel like I should tell you that I am MASSIVELY fucked up right now 

 like i am such a garbage heap that oscar the grouch took a look at me and said 

 “fuckk off!! i have standards!” 

anyways

it’s Brimothy, bitch

what is UP mothertrucksrs it is Me i am back here to write a report on the UNBELIEVABLE SHIT I JUST HANDLED.

okay so u know how Gotham city is on crack cocaine all the time. with like some LSD and heroin and never ever any weed except for like who is that pig guy?? nevrm he doesn’t have weeeed but like he is definitely a Pig. what the fuck is his name. what the fuck.

 okay so anyways 

 is it Goyle

 Doyle

 Pigoyle 

 tin foil? lmao

OKAY FUCK anyways the City, who Also May Be My Lover, is in a constant life crisis (which i relate? a Lot) and do you want to know this s h i t

Crocodile

Killer Croc

who Steve Irwin would be v disappointed in

Is climbing

into people’s FUCKING TOILETS

???????????????

THIS ISN’T FLORIDA

THIS IS NEW JERSEY

WE WEAR SHOES IN THE WINTER

WHAT SORT OF FLIP-FLOP WEARING CUCKER DOES HE THINK HE IS

okay so obviously KC is a big guy. a Dude. a whack-o whaler of a Male. a Big Boh. the largest banananana in the pack. he is Big. so he cAn’t fit into most people’s toilets. he can, however, fit into Big People’s toilets (big as in wealthy, not As in Tom Hanks)

so KC (crispy,,,nuggest…i wonder if fried alligator is good—not that im thinking of eating him, though someone really should threaten him with cannibalism, like if you’re going to be a bitch about it then you deserve the same done to you, it’s just manners) is in cahoots and canoodles with Someone Who Shall Not Be Named (not bc i don’t know, I do, that’s how detectives work. it’s my JOB to know, and i was a prodigy) but bc there is a whole other report detailing this person and their movements and its case file #4461 if u don’t believe me, but i ain’t no snitch, but i will say that tonight’s events connect to file #4461 so Dad if you’re reading this you should already have it out bc it’s your JOB

speaking of jobs ding ding here is mine coming round the mountain as she comes bc the apple bottom jeans the boots with the fur will be coming round the mountain when she comes shE’ll be coming round the mountain she’ll be coming round the mountain she’ll b e coming round and getting low low low low low l ow low

It was a crisp October night. The sun was blinking its sleepy lids, setting the ballroom with an incandescent glow. Bruce Wayne strode across the floor, his daughter Cassandra accompanying him. They wore matching expressions that the privileged always wear: guarded, yet hungry. Hungry for what? Probably for the crab cakes just out of reach. Neither of them had an allergy, and Cassandra in particular had a propensity to shove anything edible in her mouth, so it really was a tragedy that those crab cakes were all the way across the room. There should really be a table right in the middle of the dance floor just for snacks. That way caterers wouldn’t have to do so much leg work, which is actually a good thing, because that ballroom floor is slippery af. This narrator should know, he has Died A Few Times getting there. Suddenly, the night’s festivities were interrupted by a social faux pas: a scream.

You don’t just scream at regular parties, it’s uncouth and hysterical. But you can scream if the social boundaries have already been crossed, and boy, were they crossed.

You see, Dear Reader, there was a man in the toilet.

I use the term “man” loosely, as his glaring yellow eyes do wonders when you might just crap your pantaloons. You start imagining things, like dinosaurs whcih i am personally a big fan of bc Jurassic Park has a kid named Tim in it and I am also Tim.

 hI y is our toilet so big that Killer Croc could wiggle his way up? also how long can he hold his breath. 

 it seems to be impressively long

 hey Bdad how long can he hold his breath? please let me know if you can, and if you won’t i will eat all your wafers becauzs i wa

Mrs. Trenton screamed and fled the impertinent bathroom guest, who wasted no time in ripping the commode to pieces. There was a roar and all the guests paused, unsure if it was merely pipe problems or if they were under attack.

Reader: They were, in fact, under attack. 

The guests, deciding that Mrs. Trenton was a social entrepreneur, followed her lead and began to scream. Killer Croc had made it to ballroom, standing at an impressive height just outside the doors.

He was Not wearing a shirt.

okay have u ever noticed that Killer Crog hasn’t got any nipples????? where are they? he’s got pecs but no nipples?? 

where did they go where are his nip nops i kno people don’t like to think about this but i hAve wondered since i was like 13 like where did they go. has anyone ever asked him. 

did they fall off

“Take the crab cakes!” shouted Matthew Fielder, a lil bitch.

“No, take me!” said Cassandra Wayne, who would literally rather die than give up those crab cakes.

Killer Croc paid them no heed. He desired one thing and one thing only, the sweet satisfaction for his carnal craving: Humain Flesh.

(alliteration hell yeah hell yeah take that Mrs. Johnson i do know shit and im creative as well u jusy don’t know how my brian works it’s like a golden goose egg trap ye ye ye)

 i just Realized 

 i am…a high school drop out

 i don’t know why im doing this

Dear Reader, as an Aside: Smoking can lead to many health issues, especially if one begins smoking at a young age. Harmful side effects include increased risk of stroke and brain damage; muscular degeneration, eye cataracts; cancer of lips, nose, tongue, and mouth, and nipple loss.

 Jason you may want to have a talk with you and your mipples

The terror in the air was stifling. Cannibalism conduct was not something conveyed in etiquette classes. Rich people never expect to be eaten.

Reader, everyone hardly breathed. Something deeply primal had occurred. 

From the doorway the golden eyes struck. Deadly. Lethal. Hungry. 

This was more than vengeance. It was a sadistic occasion of play.

  okay good thing Dames wasn’t there because he fucking HATES KC he gets all huffy and shrieky about him like “he’s a HYGIENE PROBLEM” and it’s like,,,,,.ur right but i don’t want to agree with you because where do we stand if i do that?? as brothers???

 i think the fuck not 

anyways i just realized i’ve been calling Waylon Jones KC the entire damn time (NEWSFLASH ASSHOLE) but to be fucking h, he wants to to be called that. i called him Allen once and he was so PISSED so i can only think of actually calling him by his name. he wouldn’t even be chill with me naming the sewer alligators even tho they were awesome names. i called one Dundee. that’s fucking genius. that’s just. i’m fucking amazing. stupenous. and unappreciated.

 maybe his nipples fell off because he swims in shit every night?????

 question: why do i swim in shit almost as often 

 what the dfck

 what are my life choices

 i feel like there should have been some fine print involved here 

 “Robin duties include scraping shit off your asschreks 3 times a week”

 mahbe,,,,maybe not what i want 

 personal choice

though i haven’t really seen any alligators in the sewers for years now, which is

oh my god OH MY GOD HE ATE THEM  HE ATE THEM OH MY GOD  OH MY GOD !!!!!!!!!!

HE FUCKING  HE FUCKING. HE. HE ATE HIMSELF  HE FUCNING ATE HIMAELF AND HIS FAMILY HIS COUSINS HIS CPOUSINS  HIS FAMILY OH MY GOD  THIS IS LIKE MY 8TH GRADE GRADUATION ALL OVER AGAIN

im so disturbed……..i like, need to eat something. Fucking hell. this Not what i had in mind when i decided to be alive.

i feel like as if i woke up one day and i was the only one in the entire world who remembered Caillou. also could pull off my face and eat it like taffy. imw so. i.

mom i know i refused to go to Shabbat when i was ten so i don’t get to say this but:

this is Not kosher 

oh heyy i want some pIckes

i was also thinking of takin a spin class?? like fuck it i like to bike. fuck it. and maybe iwdont want bruce and nigtwink fucking watxhing me with their beady eyes. like get those off my calves. my cleavage is up here, gentlemen. stop talking about proper form. some people can do things and suck at them. i’m never going to be like a professional ice curler. and i shouldn’t feel bad about that. who the fuck curls for fun. maybe Canada???????

note to self: look up the history of the sport of curling 

i’m going to get good at it to piss off Jason

Back On Topic:

Killer Croc took a step forward. His mouth trembled, watering in anticipation. He took another step.

Mrs. Trenton drew in a breath. 

The room was silent. 

Far across the room, Bruce Wayne clenched his champagne glass. Cassandra Wayne stopped chewing the crab cakes.  Reader, I won’t mince words: Waylon Jones crossed the threshold.

  and the instant he put his foot down on the ballroom floor he fucking slipped like a drunkass toddler

like when Damian is really really tired bc he’s like 2 years old (only an evil 2 years old like chucky) and Jason tries to give him a high five 

gremlin still doesn’t get that “down low” precedes “too slow” 

and he like. faceplants

onto the fucking concrete 

and then Bruce yells at Jason 

and then Jason yells back

“I NEVER ASKED FOR SIBLINGS”

like it was something we all did, like wrote it down on our batmas lists for Brucie Claus 

and im sitting there, a perennial Forgotten Middle Child

and Damian is like still. on the ground.

anyways KC is just slipping across the ballroom, slippering and sliding bc the floor was just waxed and it’s silent except for the wet slaps of his feet against the floor and the screech his tail makes every time he trips (sort of like this) and when he sometimes falls it makes that sound of when your thighs SLAP against the mats and it sounds like a wet walrus coming to cheer you on while a Giant simultaneously swallows a liquid-filled gummy worm down his throat like QAWAGGHHHHHHH only his falls reverberated against the ceiling panels and the cherubs looked down in like. disgust.

Cass began chewing the crab cakes again by the time Killer Croc fell for the twelfth time so idk it was an embarrassing situation

 we all did that Thing people do when a social barrier is breached 

 we like…..avoided each other’s eyes and made light conversation 

 meanwhile Killer Croc’s body screeched in the background

anyways Matthew Fielder was like “so I hear you dance ballet” and Cass responded “uh huh. tap too” and the chewed up crab cake crumbs fell out of her mouth and onto the floor

 i CAN’T

scrambled cock on a cracker, Cass why does Alfred let this happen????? what is this??????  like she can snort creme puffs like cocaine but GOD FORBID i put my elbows on the table and call damian “a poisonous little bitch” because he ate my croutons

 the standards in this family are unbelievable

So everyone is just talking and Mrs. Trenton is sipping champagne now and Luis Alvarez is doing that thing where he starts trying to eat caviar one teeny tiny egg at a time and KC is just like WHUMPH for the thirtieth time

finally dad takes pity on him and crouches down and is like “hey how you doing slugger” which???? Offended me. Very Much.

that’s MY nickname 

has Waylon No-Nipples Jones been adopted by Bruce Wayne??? has Waylon No-Nipples Jones retrieved HIS sorry ass from time?? i don’t fucking think so 

the audacity of this man

but before Killer Croc can reply

Red Hood

BURSTS INTO THE ROOM

guns out, voice modulator kind of fuzzy like a broke refrigerator that makes an “eeeeeeeeeee” sound ever since i tripped over it and fell on it

 which wASN’T MY FAULT 

 IM NOT “deformed baby zebra clumsy” FUCK YOU JASON 

 MAYBE HE SHOULDN’T KEEP HIS EXPENSIVE HELMET ON THE FLOOR THEN 

 you know what? I’m GLAD i tripped over it.

 yeah. suck it. 

 im glad you sound like a 90s japanese transistor radio 

 off brand too

 fuck you 

 I GOT A BRUISE NOT THAT ANYONE CARES 

 even Bruce was like “hey tim you need to watch where you’re going”

 ???

 how about YOU watch where YOU’RE GOING 

 “where” as in TIME TRAVEL 

 REMEMBER THAT BRUCE 

 REMEMBER THAT?!???????

 HUH BIG GUY?!???????!!???

 no one is allowed to criticize me from now on

 i am Above Reproach 

    anyways yeah Red Hood appears at the party and shoots KC and Bruce was like “why the FUCK would you SHOOT HIM” as if he has some misplaced paternal feeling for Waylon No-Nipples Jones because he called him slugger which is something he calls one of his other kids but whatever im not bitter im just insecure and sad all the time but don’t worry about it maybe i’ll die one day and you’ll all be sorry especially about Certain Things like not sharing cheese nibs huh Cassandra

so RH and Bruce Wayne kind of argue. like. literally sniping at each other bc SOMEBODY forgot that Red Hood is a criminal and not their misplaced son and RH is like “it’s!!!!! a tranquilizer!!!!! ya big hoe!!!!!” only he doesn’t really say it like that but everyone isn’t even listening at this point because this party has already been so goddamn weird and we’re all suffering from secondhand embarrassment

i am Assuming,,,,,that Killer Croc Jones “Jonsie No-Nipples” has been taken away to be put into jail and studied for his non-nipple properties but at this point i’ve been sitting here huffing that cold medicine or whatever Bruce gave me. which

 oh yeah i was crushed earlier 

 it was by “slugger” but whatever

 yeah his body broke mine 

 it was because Bruce and Jason were fighting again and not paying attention so 

 KC was tranquillized and like 

 fell on me 

 he drooled on me too 

 those ballroom floors really hurt 

 like my head feels like mush 

 Alfred’s oatmeal 

 on its second day 

 because i refused to eat it on the first day 

 that man has a spine of Steel and he Does Not Let You Waste Food 

 btw he fell on me because i pushed Luis Alvarez out of the way 

 he was really transfixed by those tiny fish eggs 

 it’s fun to put them on your tongue and let them like slide around 

 so i pushed him out of the way and was promptly crushed to death 

 B said something about a broken collarbone 

 i am more worried about a broken butt 

 fuck

 my coccyx

PROFESSOR PYM wait no shit that’s a comic book character

anyways my butt is broken and im hungry and dad wouldn’t let me get out of the chair so i write up this report because I am A Real Life Detective and I do my JOB

once again im the best

hey red jood can you get me some cheese nibs cassandrA won’t share which is p mean especially since i was all for being eaten to give her those crab cakes  red hoof red  why isn’t he responding to me i want xheese nibs red hanz  red  red  Red Hood please I require sustenance  red fhau red gjji red hhood ted joood redb hood red red edds red red edd dedd red red red red red wd red  what the fuck what a right bastard sometimes oh hi Badaman

EDIT: His name is “Pyg.”  Fucking. Pyg. Points taken off for unoriginality.

decided to have a tumblr version too ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#take this and put it on my grave #in remembrance of me

[oreolesbian]

For the film ask: 736

#736 - The Polar Express (2004) dir. Robert Zemeckis

This is a film from my childhood that I haven’t watched in years, so my opinions on it might change if I ever watch it again…but I’ll get into what I do remember about it.

First of all, my earliest memory of this movie was in elementary school, when, near the winter holidays, we would have something called “Polar Express Day.” Basically, what that entailed was that we would all come to school dressed in our pajamas, the teacher would bring in boxes of hot cocoa mix for us to make (and marshmallows of course), and we would watch The Polar Express while sitting in chairs we lined up to pretend they were train seats. It was a very fun experience that sticks out as a warm, childhood memory.

Now for context…this was 2006, so this movie was at best, two years old at the time, and to a bunch of six years old, it was the pinnacle of animation, lol. Obviously, as an adult, I recognize the animation quality is iffy at best, but not half bad for its time. There are definitely moments in this film that frightened me as a little kid, specifically the ghost on top of the train, the moment where we thought Tom Hanks, the conductor, was gonna kill a little girl, the fucking elves, and the weird present contraption thing that the three main characters got sucked into. Basically, I watched this movie as a kid thinking Santa was a megalomaniac and all these children were being sent to die lmao. I’m sure if the memory of watching this move wasn’t so prominent in my mind, I would’ve thought it was all a fever dream.

But! It was actually all about the “true meaning of christmas” and me and my siblings spent most of our lives ringing bells trying to test out if our belief in Santa Claus was still valid or not. Basically, the “Hot Chocolate” song still slaps, I have a lot of nostalgia attached to this film, and it definitely may or may not frighten a small child if you showed it to them. So, that being said, if you haven’t seen The Polar Express by this point, I’m not sure if it’s something I’d recommend. It’s one of those things that sticks with you simply because it made an impact on your childhood, but it never goes anywhere outside of that. However, if you’re looking for a holiday movie that’s fun to start a tradition with, this one definitely holds to that regard. Like I said, I haven’t seen it in years, but it would definitely be one to watch for nostalgia purposes with some friends, or just out of curiosity. Also, the main suite by Alan Silvestri is still one of my favorite movie score pieces.

It was directed by Robert Zemeckis, who directed my all time favorite movie, Back to the Future, so it’s definitely worth something in my opinion, lol, but it’s ultimately your choice!

SEND ME A NUMBER 1-985 AND I’LL GIVE A FILM REVIEW FROM MY “WATCHED” LIST ON LETTERBOXD!

#film #movies #the polar express #asks #ask game #film asks #movie asks #here4thegayships #movie review #flim review #letterboxd

[theunemployedrogue]

movie meme

no one tagged me i just stole this to waste time lol

Favorite movie: My usual go-to answers to this question are Harold and Maude & The Producers (1967). 

Movie that makes you remember your childhood: The first thing that came to mind was ‘All Dogs Go to Heaven’. Honestly all the Don Bluth movies left quite the quite the impression on my poor childhood self lmao

Favorite Tom Hanks movie: Philadelphia. I’m a big fan of courtroom dramas!

Movie that makes you cry: I saw ‘Inside Out’ in theatres and I s2g I was choking back tears for like 90% of the movie. The Babadook (yes, seriously) also made me ugly cry because it was such a raw, realistic depiction of living with depression.

Favorite 80s movie: I’m actually not keen on most 80′s movies tbh (love 80′s music tho). I do like the first Return of the Living Dead.

Favorite comedy: Y’all gonna judge me but a movie that never fails to make me laugh out loud is Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby lmao. 

Favorite sports movie: I’m sure there’s actually one or two I like other than Ricky Bobby but I’m gonna cheat big time on this and say poker is a sport for the purposes of this question -- The Cincinnati Kid.

Favorite courtroom movie: Oh man I seriously love courtroom movies so I have a lot, but one of my absolute faves is Presumed Innocent.

Favorite war movie: Idk if these count bc they’re set during the Cold War lol but The Manchurian Candidate (1962) and The Hunt for Red October! As far as one that involves actual combat I’ll go with Full Metal Jacket.

Favorite animated movie: I completely blanked on this even tho I watch a ton of animated stuff, so I’m just gonna go with Megamind & the 1st Shrek which have held up whenever I’ve rewatched them over the years.

Favorite horror movie: I watch a lot of horror so again, hard to narrow it down lol. A recent horror-comedy I really enjoyed is Errementari!

Favorite gangster movie: Stereotypical, but the first Godfather.

Most overrated movie: Citizen Kane. I’ve watched this movie multiple times in various states of consciousness trying to understand the appeal, and I stand by my opinion it’s one of the most boring films ever made. I’m saying this as someone who loves a ton of movies from the 30s-40s. Like ok the cinematography is great but the plot...the dialogue...literally everything else is Bad. Idk how Orson Welles made such a dull film considering the real guy the movie’s based on (Hearst) was extremely eccentric and interesting...watch a documentary on him for a better story...

Movie with the best soundtrack: I’m fond of the soundtrack for O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Movie you can watch over and over: Venom lmao. Literally if it’s on TV I’ll turn it over to that channel, even tho I own multiple copies of the movie...

Most embarrassing movie you love: I mean lol, I already listed a bunch of cringe in my previous answers. I guess my ‘guilty pleasures’ are those ridiculous vigilante action films like Law Abiding Citizen & Equalizer. 

Favorite Christmas movie: Some version of A Christmas Carol I guess... really not a fan of Christmas films lol...

Favorite sequel: Gonna go with The Dark Knight!

if you read this and you’re bored af consider yourself tagged! Please @ me if you complete it, I love reading about other people’s taste in movies! :D

#long post #personal #ask meme #reblog bait #meme